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#like we’ve had so many talks about communicating and what the other person needs (which again i’ve brought up lmaoo)
cillmequick · 23 days
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Oops, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I accidentally started something new instead of writing Lockdown smut 🙈 I just got the idea and was consumed with the need to write it down. So anyway, here we are. Posting will probably be slow but you’re used to that. Shall we dive in..? Enjoy! 🤍
Pairing: Robert Fischer x Maggie Walsh (OC)
Summary: Years before Robert Fischer finds himself apparently caught in a dream and under attack by a team of extractors, he is taught how to defend himself by Maggie Walsh, a specialist in subconscious security.
Warnings: You’ll recognised scenes taken from Inception so obviously none of that dialogue belongs to me, but I’ve tweaked it in places. Not sure any other warnings apply for now.
Word count: 2088 SERIES
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Part 1 - Subconscious Security
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“I’m sorry, who did you say you were..?”
The man, a little older than him, his hair slicked back from his face, smiled slightly. Robert felt certain he had never seen him before in his life. But in his line of work he met so many people and, as arrogant as it might sound, he was aware meeting him was often more of a memorable occasion for the other person than it was for him.
“Rod Green from Marketing.” The gentleman’s smile gave way to a knowing smirk as he presumptuously slid into the barstool next to Robert and he fought the urge to visibly bristle.
“But that’s not true at all, is it?”
The hair on the back of Robert’s neck began to rise, tension coiling in his stomach.
“My name is Mr Charles,” he continued in a low, confident voice, his proximity assuming a level of familiarity that made Robert want to pull back. He’d always hated people in his personal space. “You remember me, don’t you, Mr Fischer? I’m the head of your security down here.”
What fuck was this man talking about ‘down here’ like they were underground, when just through the window you could see the busy streets of the city. Hmmm… which city was he in today..? Fuck.. why was it so hard to remember..?
Instead, he opted to humour him, his interest piqued.
“Security, huh? You work for the hotel..?”
“No, no. I specialise in a very specific type of security.” He paused, staring earnestly at Robert. “Subconscious security.”
The pricking on his neck intensified and he flicked his tongue quickly over his suddenly dry lips.
“Are you talking about dreams..? Are you talking about... extraction..?”
“I am here to protect you…” He broke off as a barman dropped a glass, the slender stem of the flute tinkling as it shattered, distracting his attention. “Mr Fischer,” he recovered himself, “I’m here to protect you in the event that somebody tries to access your mind through your dreams.”
Robert looked around, the murmuring hum of the busy hotel bar falling to almost silence, eyes swivelling in their direction.
“You..?” he frowned, the tension palpable in the air. “Where’s Maggie?”
*****
Two years earlier
The intercom on his wide mahogany desk beeped, interrupting his train of thought. Dropping the paper he was in the middle of reading for the finance board later that afternoon, he huffed out a sigh and pressed the button.
“What is it, Roz? I’m trying to work.”
“Sorry Mr Fischer but your one o’clock is here.”
He glanced at the clock on his computer screen, slightly shocked to see it was already 13:01. Shit, he’d forgotten to have lunch. Again.
Pinching the bridge of his nose he blew out out a short breath.
“I hadn’t seen the time, send them in.”
Shuffling his papers out of the way, he stood, quickly slipped his jacket back on, still doing up the buttons as the door swung open. His assistant, Rosalind, ushered in a young woman in an elegant charcoal suit.
Business-like it might be, but he couldn’t help but notice how the pencil skirt hugged the swell of her hips and thighs as she came towards his desk.
“Miss Walsh from Maynard Communications Group, Mr Fischer,” introduced Roz.
“Miss Walsh, Robert Fischer, I don’t believe we’ve met?”
I would remember, he thought as he walked around his desk, holding out his hand. Her palm soft and cool in his, despite the LA heat outside, her grip firmer than he expected.
“No, I don’t believe we have. Maggie Walsh,” she smiled.
“Oh, Roz,” he called as his assistant was just beginning to quietly ooze out the door, “can you get me some sushi? Usual stuff?” He turned to the blonde woman. “Would you like anything? I assume you’ve already been offered coffee?”
“No thank you, I’m fine.”
He gestured to her to have a seat as he reclaimed his own, leaning forward on his elbows and steepling his fingers.
“I apologise - I missed lunch and I forgot we had this appointment.”
“No apology needed, I turn into a monster if I haven’t eaten.”
He cracked a half smile, brushing his thick dark hair back from his forehead with a casual flick of his hand.
“I must say that I’m surprised to see you, Miss Walsh. I usually meet quarterly with Derek Matthison and I wasn’t aware we had business to discuss with Maynard this month…?”
Maggie crossed her legs, carefully smoothing her skirt, her hands resting on her knee. If he thought bandying about the Mayard CEO’s name was going to phase her, he was going to have to try harder than that.
“This visit doesn’t relate to your usual dealings with the company, Mr Fischer,” she smiled. “Mr Matthison asked me to come and see you about a different service the company offers to only its most select clients. I understand he discussed it with your father some time ago.”
She noticed his jaw tighten almost imperceptibly.
Almost.
Interesting.
“My father is unwell, Miss Walsh. All dealings with Fischer Morrow now come through this office.”
“Of course,” she replied smoothly, pushing one side of her sharply cut bob behind her ear. “That is why I’m here.”
He sat back in his seat, eyes still slightly narrowed as the perceived slight.
“You see, Mr Fischer, about six months ago Maynard acquired a new asset to add to its portfolio. A very specialist kind of corporate security.”
His face was a mask, giving her nothing, so she continued.
“You will be acutely aware, I’m sure, of the dangers of corporate espionage and cyber attacks from hostile governments. Knowledge is power and in your particular field, with the global energy crisis, your company’s secrets are ever more valuable and ever more dangerous in the wrong hands.”
“We already have extensive cyber and personal security arrangements, Miss Walsh. If you want to discuss the procurement arrangements for that contract, you’ll need to speak to our Head of Security.”
Maggie shook her head slightly, reaching for the briefcase she had set beside her chair, uncrossing her legs so she could lay it on her lap.
“Tell me, Mr Fischer, how familiar are you with the concept of dream sharing?”
He frowned, two lines furrowing his brow, lips puckered, lightly parted. “Dream sharing..?”
“Yes,” she replied, popping the clips of the case and spinning it towards him, lifting the lid. Inside was some kind of device and for a horrifying fraction of a second he thought perhaps it was a bomb.
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” He shook his head slowly.
“It’s called a PASIV - a Portable Automated Somnacin IntraVenous device. It was originally developed by the military as a training simulator. It allows any number of people to join and share in one single dream space.”
“As in everyone in the same dream at the same time?” She nodded. “How is that even possible..?” he asked quietly, leaning forward as she set it carefully on his desk for closer examination.
She paused for a moment, studying him as he looked at the machine. “How it works isn’t really the reason I’m here, Mr Fischer. The fact is, that these devices are now in widespread operation, mostly underground and apart from some limited recreational use, they are almost exclusively used for criminal purposes.”
He lifted his head sharply, the cold force of his pale blue stare catching her slightly unawares.
“Criminal..?”
She nodded again. “In recent years there has been a steady increase in attacks - people being drawn into shared dreams against their will, and often without their knowledge. You’ll have seen the impacts - those unforeseen crashes of several major corporations on the stock market last year? Those were caused by secrets obtained through extraction.”
“Extraction..?”
“The method by which corporate - sometimes even state - secrets are extracted from the subject’s mind in the dream space.”
He sat back in his chair again, fingers drumming lightly on his lips.
“So you’re telling me that with one of these things, someone could forcibly make me join a shared dream and make me give them Fischer Morrow secrets in my sleep?”
“I am. But they wouldn’t even have to do this forcibly - not in the way you mean.” She pushed closed the lid of the case, setting it back by her feet so she could see him properly.
“When we are asleep we are at our most vulnerable. And with the right combination of drugs, administered in a way the subject isn’t aware of, all you need is a train journey, or a flight or, even right there in your own home, in your own bed. If attacked by professionals - and there’s a rapidly growing community of these - you wouldn’t even remember it had taken place. It would be just fragments, vague feelings, nothing substantive. And because our brains work faster when we are asleep, time in the dream state is longer than in reality. Your attackers wouldn’t even need to keep you under for that long to spend a considerable amount of time in the dream with you, giving them ample opportunity to extract the information they require.”
She crossed her legs again, noticing how this time his eyes didn’t track the movement, clearly caught in the enormity and horror of what she was explaining.
“The first thing you would know about the breach to your security would be when it was being used against you,” she concluded and slowly his eyes refocused, glancing back to her.
“And so what can I do about this?” he asked a little hoarsely.
“That’s where I come in, Mr Fischer,” she smiled. “I run an elite service that is only available to Maynard’s top clients - clients for whom the threat of this kind of espionage is a real threat. Me, and my team, specialise in what we call ‘subconscious security’.”
The slight raise of his eyebrows prompted her to continue.
“With the service Maynard is offering, I can train you - and any other members of your team you consider to be at a significant risk - to repel these kinds of attack. With some time commitment and diligence on your part, I can give you all the tools you need to build defences that will protect you, should you ever be coerced into a shared dream environment.”
“For a very reasonable price,” he murmured dryly and she smiled, inclining her head.
“For a very reasonable price, Mr Fischer, I can give you, quite literally, peace of mind.”
He breathed a chuckle, leaning forward towards his desk again.
“Tell me, Miss Walsh, does that line usually seal the deal?”
She grinned, leaning forward too, resting her hands on the table, proffering a small rectangular card between her fingers.
“You tell me, Mr Fischer.”
A knock at the door broke between them and he called for them to come in as he reached for the little black business card, turning it over between his fingers, her details printed in sharp white font below the Maynard crest.
As Roz came in with a plate of freshly made sushi, prepared by the chefs in the fully functional professional kitchen in the office, Maggie gathered her briefcase and stood, offering her hand as he also pushed himself to his feet.
“I’ll leave you to your lunch, Mr Fischer. I hope you’ll consider what we can offer you,” she smiled, again shaking more firmly than he was prepared for. “And if you’re unconvinced, I’m more than happy to give you a demonstration. Just contact my office and we’ll set it up.”
“Thank you for coming in,” he replied, watching her head for the door where Roz waited to show her out, delicate spikes of her stilettos drumming a quick staccato against the wooden floor.
“Miss Walsh..?” he asked just as she was about to leave and she spun back towards him, her bob swishing as she did. “Y’know what? I need to see it. Speak to Roz about scheduling the demo before you leave.”
“Certainly, Mr Fischer,” she smiled. “I look forward to doing business with you.”
“I’m not committed to anything,” he shot back, a smile playing on his features.
“Yet,” she countered. “But you will.” He chuckled quietly as she turned to leave, Roz watching on with interest; it wasn’t often new people managed to get her boss to smile, let alone chuckle.
“Once you’ve seen it, Mr Fischer, you’ll understand,” she called over her shoulder, the door clicking closed behind her.
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Well… are you interested in more? I’d love to hear what you think in all the usual ways! 🤍 xx
Masterlists: SERIES | MAIN
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laineystein · 5 months
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I know that the media would have you believing that war is constant and ruthless but sometimes it’s a lot of sitting around and waiting for orders. And a lot of talking. Really introspective talking. And the things that people say when there’s a very real chance that they might die, are probably the most poignant and well said. So here’s a conversation my unit had in a million different ways with a million different words:
We love beings Jews. We love being Israeli. We can’t imagine being anything else or belonging to any other group. But this statistic that we are 0.2% of the worlds population has been so much more than a statistic lately. We all feel it. We feel how so much of the world has turned their backs on us — how the same people that posted those stupid blue squares on instagram are now using language that calls for our genocide and the destruction of our homeland. We know that for so many people we are pawns in their political game. We know that so many people think we are sub-human and therefore deserving of less respect than any other person. We don’t need anyone to tell us what they think of us because so many people are showing us by what they’re doing or not doing. And that’s okay. We’re used to it. We’ve always been alone. We’ve always fought (and won) our own battles. We’ll win this one without any of you. It’s fine. But it makes me think about how the same people that alienate us are the ones that critique how we live in insular communities (like the neighborhood I grew up in Crown Heights) and how our religion is closed and how we don’t need a place (read: Israel) where we all live together (assumedly because no other group has such a place — which is just a total lie). And there’s this thought amongst many Jews that communities like the one I grew up in in Brooklyn exist as a result of the persecution we faced. Just like there’s this thought that Israel exists because of the Holocaust. The survivors of the worst thing that can happen to a group decided to live together and close out the outside world. Now I’d argue that we certainly haven’t closed anyone out in Israel - I’m currently serving with Israelis that are Arab and Druze. But is our country very Jew-centric? Absolutely. Just like Crown Heights is very Jew-centric. Goyim can/do live and visit Crown Heights but it is a place that caters to what is otherwise considered a counter-culture in America. Just like Israel caters to Jews in an area of the world where all of us were expelled. We are fine living in these places. We have created these communities and curated them to our Jewish way of life. But people wonder why we close ourselves off and why we need special spaces - and that same ignorance is the answer. Sure, our diets are different and we have laws about how we go to school and work and pray that make it very difficult to live in a non-Jewish world but there’s a very real truth that so many people are scared to say aloud so I will: We don’t trust goyim. Goyim have never stood up for us or protected us. Only we can keep ourselves safe. Only we truly care about our wellbeing. We do not feel safe around goyim. And I think we have every right to be distrustful. We have every right to think that our survival and security rests solely in our fellow Jew. So while this has all proven that the Jewish people are amazing and loving and stronger than even we knew, it’s also only cemented this idea that we absolutely need our own world. And it’s clear that we’ve essentially lived in our own world all this time anyway - our world view is not your world view. Our experiences are so incredibly different than the goy experience. If you’re not Jewish and especially if you’re not an Israeli Jew, you can’t possibly understand any of this. And that’s fine! But don’t get angry when, in the absence of your support, we’ve figured it out. And don’t be upset when your Jewish friends - Israeli or not - have pushed you away because you didn’t show up in the way they’d hoped. You’ve merely proven us right. We do not need you. Our communities are enough. Our country is enough. Together, we will outlive you.
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okkottsus · 1 year
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I usually dont mind ppl having different interpretations of characters and relationships, but this is just an insult to my boy’s character and his connection to nagi.
Reo may have developed an interest in nagi bc of his talent (and i find the notion of him doing the same thing he hated his family for at the start very interesting btw), but since then he obviously has developed an emotional attachment, and to him, it has to be nagi. he’s met people with even more skill than him in blk but he still hasnt spared them a 1/100 of the attention he gives to his best friend.
ofc i think it was important for them to improve on their own and maybe it was premature of him to go back to devoting himself to nagi so quickly, but i truly believe its bc he understood nagi’s perspective since he “abandoned him” and his true intentions.
the difference in their perspectives is very clear even before they enter blue lock:
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at that point winning the world cup was just reo’s dream but even then, to reo, the most important thing was for them to be together until the end (nagi was the one who made him promise that would be the case too !!) , while nagi was content with just going along with him bc he started caring abt him as a person
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until they lost to isagi’s team. from that moment, he decided (and was right imo) that they need to do whatever they can, even if they have to take separate paths for some time, to get stronger.
and nagi didnt “lose sight of their og goal” what are they talking about?? nagi literally mentions/thinks about their dream to be the best together every chance he gets?? he even got mad at reo cause he thought his friend was the one who forgot about their dream. he thought he was taking the vital steps to make it a reality and was frustrated reo couldnt see that:
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reo felt betrayed because he cared about nagi himself as much as he cared about their dream and thought that nagi used him as a stepping stone to move forward alone, when actually it would be more accurate to say that nagi views everyone except for reo as a stepping stone. (i dont blame reo for this, since even tho nagi tried to communicate that hes doing it for them, he did a terrible job of it).
but during their latest talk reo had already worked on himself and had acknowledged the fact that he was in the wrong for assuming that them being together no matter the cost was the right thing
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so when nagi approached him and explained himself a little better this time (boy was shocked when he realised how reo took their separation and put in a little bit more effort lol)
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reo finally understood how their desires intertwine now. how can people claim that reo sees nagi as a tool when its more of the other way around; meaning reo sees himself as a tool for making nagi the best striker in the world and he already declared that to Ego before:
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and again now:
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plus saying that he and nagi arent friends and they are just using each other is so out of touch with everything we’ve seen so far. reo’s devotion to nagi aside, nagi too cares for reo a lot outside of soccer. even after he left reo, he still got excited to see him and talk to him despite everything; to him it was obvious they would continue to interact no matter which team each of them was on:
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and he also felt bad for hurting him and expressed the hope that he would forgive him
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the only thing that i wish would happen now is for nagi to apologise to reo face to face instead of only doing it in his own thoughts, and for reo to also talk about why he was hurt. but i feel like they understood each other either way without many words, because in the end, their bond is just that strong.
they now both want to succeed more than they ever have before and have stopped being their complacent selves we met during the first selection. they are both thinking far into the future and not just within blue lock, so whether they keep moving forward together or separated from now on, it will be knowing they are working towards their shared dream.
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mydarlingdahlia · 3 months
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Warning : a rant about religion/religious stuff below, read with that in mind.
I’m tired of seeing people on TikTok (or any other social media platform, really) put down or berate others for their opinions or beliefs.
For example…
I saw an innocent video of a girl reading some scripture from her Bible and just talking about a dream she had. Not harming anyone, right? Apparently not…
I can’t tell you how many comments I saw of people from other religions putting her down and just flat out making fun of her belief. As a Christian, it did hurt seeing my faith being treated the way it was in that comment section.
But, here’s another example…
I saw another video of this girl showing off some of her crystals and tapestries that she had gotten, and I thought they looked neat! I liked the video, and went to leave a comment about where she got them, when I saw some other messages.
Basically to sum up what they were saying is that if she kept doing the blasphemous things she was doing she’d go to hell, and other hateful things.
It also hurt seeing her being put down/being for her opinions/beliefs, when she wasn’t even doing anything wrong or hurtful to another religion!
DONT 👏 PUT 👏 OTHERS 👏 DOWN 👏 FOR 👏 THEIR 👏 OPINIONS 👏 OR 👏 BELIEFS👏 OR 👏 RELIGION👏
STOP IT.
It’s rude. And you aren’t “saving” anyone by doing it either.
The same things goes for people who flat out just make videos hurtfully ridiculing a comment or person for their own religion. (Not just Christians or Satanists.)
Also…
STOP 👏 SPREADING 👏 MISINFORMATION 👏 ABOUT 👏 OTHER 👏 RELIGIONS 👏 OR👏 WAYS 👏 OF 👏 LIFE👏
Being a Satanist or an Atheist doesn’t make someone a devil worshipper. If someone is a Satanist, it doesn’t mean they’re in a cult. It simply means they worship mainly themselves or act as their own god. (Which isn’t right in my opinion, but who am I to tell them what to do?)
If someone is an Atheist, that doesn’t make them anymore wayward than the rest of us. They may not worship the Lord, but that doesn’t mean we should treat them like dirt or anything less than a human being.
Same thing goes for any other religion.
I have friends that come for other religions, and they’re some of the nicest/awesome people I’ve met! Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on a few things, but that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I should end a relationship over a little disagreement.
Also, I’ve also seen some controversial takes on people of the LGBTQIA+ community, and as a Christian, it intrigues me to listen to them, as I am a member of that community.
I’ve heard some people say that all who are apart of or even support the LGBTQIA+ community should go to hell, which I think is a bit rash. I’ve also seen people who say they just need forgiveness, but I’m curious, what do they need to be forgiven of?
I know in the Bible it says homosexuality is a sin, but ever since humanity fell, we’ve been stuck in sin’s (or the devil’s) trap, and I believe we won’t be able to get out of said trap until Jesus comes back. (The Rapture, The Second Coming, call it what you like.)
I can’t help the way I am, and you can’t just convert me to become straight just like that. I am very happy with Mia, and she is with me, and there is no way I’d leave her, for any faith.
And you know what, I respect your opinion if you think I’m wrong. I won’t say anything against it. Wanna know why? I’ve been taught and brought up my whole life to be kind to others, even if they don’t deserve it. And yes, I forget that sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be respectful towards them.
Especially if it’s about their beliefs or religion.
So, say it with me.
I will love and respect all of my witch, celestial, and earthy girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Christian girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Atheist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Satanist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Hindu girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Islamic girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect all of my Buddhist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
I will love and respect people regardless of their religion, beliefs, or opinions, even if we don’t see eye to eye.
See, that’s not so hard is it?
Treat people how you’d wanna be treated. Give respect, get respect.
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hayleysayshay · 1 year
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You know I don’t think I’ve ever rly done a post on why I like Mako, my forever blorbo:
He’s just the kind of neutral character I like and I think it’s because I really don’t have a strong personality and I tend to like characters some people think are boringg because they’re the straight man. Scott Summers was my favourite x-man lol.
He has weird eyebrows. It’s a plus for sure.
He has a tragic backstory, but it’s trauma that’s related to poverty. His parents were killed young and he’s been in a caretaker role since he was eight. That leaves him emotionally stunted. Emotional constipation is my jam. There is literally a post compiling all of the characters in the legend of korra crying, and Mako isn’t in it because he doesn’t cry. I think he needs a good cry.
Also his parents were killed by a firebender, he is a firebender, the show never explores this juicy source of angst.
He generally cares and is very protective over his friends. He doesn’t even really hide it, at the start of book 1 it’s clear he only cares about the people he cares about. This changes by book 4 when he sacrifices himself for the city. His world has expanded.
There’s a ruthless side to Mako, he can be a little dark, see how he threatened people for Korra in book 1 (and then Wu in book 4 lol?). He killed Ming-Hua and my own HC is that he was probs fine with because out of the four I think Mako is the most pragmatic (though tbh I don’t think we’ve seen all of what Asami can offer so maybe second most. Think Asami would murder easily).
I like his dynamic with Bolin a lot, and a lot of book 3 slaps because of this (ignore whatever the jail thing in book 2 because it’s just strange.)
I also like his dynamic with Wu which is why I’m a wuko shipper lol.
He is a very bad communicator. I think that’s neat, because communication is actually something people in general suck at talking, and I don’t ever really like people saying ‘just talk!’ A response to characters conflict, because people don’t just fucking talk to each other. Communication is hard.
Mako starts an eighteen year old who thinks he knows everything but really doesn’t. The only person he has had to rely on his entire life is himself, so his outlook on the world is very warped by his own perception of it, so I think he lacks introspection and can’t really relate to many people emotionally so he couldn’t understand Korra’s frustrations in book 2 (though yes to say Korra was also in the wrong). By book 4 he has grown more chill to trust and support Korra implicitly (who has also grown as well).
I love the breakups. Mako and Korra and Asami all seemed to like each other but never really understood one another. A lot of the issues between them were not just started by Mako (ppl forget Korra initiated the love triangle by kissing Mako without asking when she knew he had a gf) and it’s just teenagers being dumb and not being honest with eachother. I don’t think the writers set out do this in book 1 but by choosing to end the relationships in book 2 I feel like there was some awareness to the flaws present in the relationships. It is, accidentally, one of the more realistic relationships squabbles on a kids show. I love that shit because I’m weird.
All of this leads to this incredibly flawed doofus who means well. I think that’s blorbotastic.
Anyway because most of the fandom hate for the relationship drama is towards Mako I feel the need to defend him since it’s just not that bad. I also feel the need to explain every time that Mako dying would have been a very bad way to end the series, please guys, I will fight you in the streets over this.
None of this is very well explored in canon. I don’t think Mako is a blank slate character, a lot of his character is defined early on and is consistent, but it is not well developed beyond the initial setup at all. This is great for fanfic and it’s fun for headcanons. Hooray!
Because it’s underdeveloped your headcanon doesn’t need much time to work with canon as long as you actually watch the series.
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olderthannetfic · 2 years
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On the subject of blocking, I think entering a new fandom and blocking a huge section of it straight away is self care at this point. If I read any post along the lines of "if you like this fictional thing then you are..." I block immediately. If a friend knows the fandom, I follow their advice and block the people they suggest too after a quick scroll (I know a lot of people do this). Fandom isn't a community anymore. It's finding a small handful of people to enjoy the thing with and hiding from everyone else.
I read a post on Twitter that talked about how old school fan culture was dying, and how preemptively blocking/antis were killing fandom because it was forcing people to engage and communicate less. I was sad to realize I was part of the problem, but I've had so many bad experiences. I preemptively block based on a particular ship and two characters in A fandom, because of how horribly disgusting the fans are (to each other, to people who like something different, and the content they create is often squicky/poorly tagged). I realize this is almost "anti" behaviour (judging people's character for their fictional tastes), but it was endemic. I don't harass, I walk away silently and filter them out. So hopefully not as bad?
The final straw for me was the "antis in disguise". People who profess to love Dead Dove content (and also write it), but then are aggressive/vile to people who like/don't like different characters, forms of canon, etc, and have extensive trigger lists in their servers, while telling people the right way to fandom (which is to only like what they do). For me, the only "right way" is to let people love their thing and don't harass, while making content for your thing. I was in one for an IP where hunting, death and murder were a huge part of the narrative... and death is on the trigger list. Any and all mentions of it. Yes. Even "that's so funny, I'm deceased".
I'm sorry for the ramble. I have a lot of feelings about being guilted for blocking and setting up boundaries. Especially one person using their RSD to claim they were being bullied! Fandom is mad these days. Mad!
I die laughing every time I see someone who thinks they’ve been around a long time but who is somehow still such a n00b that they could say blocking kills old fandom culture.
You know what kills oldschool fandom culture? TWITTER
It’s short form quips. Oldschool fandom was interminable tl;dr. It’s open and public. Oldschool fandom was invite-only with dense webs of social connections required to access it and a natural result of being in it. Some people took their old friendships to twitter with them, but if they want to know why things feel different now, it’s because they went to that piece of shit website. That’s not the fault of the rest of us.
Back in the day, m/m shippers often found a little group of their own people and hid from the haters. Those few tragic souls who liked whatsherface from the last season of Beauty and the Beast did the same. Anime fans weren’t always in the buddy cop fandoms and vice versa, except for FAKE. Fandom has never been just one community. That’s an illusion born of nostalgia and planting one’s head firmly in the sand.
You know what forces people to communicate and engage less? Platforms that make them feel unsafe. Randos being able to turn up in the comments to go “Well, actually!” without the poster having any ability to keep them out. And sure, antis are part of that, but we’ve always had haters of other sorts and always had to get rid of them in order to have a civil discussion.
Denying dickheads access to your time does not kill communication.
If someone on twitter actually meant what you’ve written about above, then they’re clueless. If they want oldschool fandom culture, they need look no further than their own pen. Post long-ass “thinky thoughts” (and use cringe-inducing terms like “thinky thoughts”) and oldschool culture will come to you… And maybe, while you’re at it, figure out if oldschool means LJ culture, forum culture, FFN culture, mailing list culture, Usenet culture, fanfic convention culture, AMV editor culture, 80s multifandom zine culture, 70s Star Trek zine culture…
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lyon-amore · 1 year
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A special reunion Oneshot
At first, he didn't imagine that she was that MC that was being talked about so much. When he saw her walk into his bar, Phil recognized her right away. MC had already been to Duskwood. Exactly ten years ago. When she lived there. There were many memories that they had, especially because it had just ten years ago, the two of them had dated.
It was long before he earned the title of womanizing boy. That girl had been his first love. His first girlfriend. Seeing her again made him remember those happy moments they had spent together. When the girl sat in the chair, leaning against the bar, she gave the bar owner a smile.    "Phil Hawkins" MC smiled, with a proud smile "Who was going to tell me that I would get you out of jail?"    "Who was going to tell me, that you'd be the one who got into Hannah's business?" Phil leaned over the bar, with a charming smile "Thanks for helping me."    "I wasn't going to leave you in there" the girl replied, resting her chin on her hand "How long ago? Ten years?" She asked in a nostalgic tone.    "Saying it in that tone, you make me feel old" MC laughed and he stood up "What do you want to make you look beautiful? A beer? A good wine? Me?"     MC leaned back a bit, with a somewhat awkward laugh.    "Really Phil?" She shook her head "Ten years without seeing each other and this is how you want to start?"     Of course, he had screwed up and to the bottom. He had forgotten that Jessy's group had spoken badly about him. To which surely, they would have told the young woman that he flirted with all the girls he liked. True, but it wasn't for her to get like that either. They were supposed to be confident, right?    "Sorry" the young man apologized ", I guess I got nervous seeing you."    "That's a lie and you know it." she pointed his finger at her, accusingly, but without erasing his smile.     They both stared at each other, as if they were communicating telepathically.    "You know? Since we've met again, let's celebrate.” Phil took out the tequila and two small glasses.     He began to prepare the drink, passing it to the girl, who looked at the glass before looking at him.    "To our reunion." Phil raised his glass.    "To our reunion." MC imitated him.     They gulped it down, making a throaty sound. Although it was little, it burned in the throat.    "So" Phil continued, sitting up again at the bar ", now you're going to look for missing persons? I thought your dream was to be an actress and get away from this quaint little town."    "And I have some small roles" She pouted ". On television... As an extra..."    "Poor your dreams."    "But I'm not giving up" She poured himself another glass of tequila and drank it in one gulp ". God, I needed it..."     He wouldn't stop looking at her. Remembering the pain of when they had to say goodbye.
Maybe it was out of spite or because he was unconsciously looking for MC in all the girls that hooked up with. He fixed on her lips, remembering the last kiss they shared. He wanted to remember what it was like to kiss her again. Would it be just as passionate? All the memories of her were coming back, the moments alone.    "What's up?" MC asked, with a laugh.    "I was thinking" Phil approached her, placing his hand under the girl's chin "Why don't we remember the old days?"     They were approaching each other, her lips were close. But MC was clever and avoided it, approaching his ear.    "Like I said" MC began to whisper ", you can't start a conversation like that after ten years."     And he thought he was the only one who knew how to make girls nervous. MC was managing to turn the tables, now she was in charge. The feel of her hand running down his arm made him shudder. As she slowly pulled away, he kept his gaze on her tempting eyes. He had gasped at the sight of her. More than before he wanted to kiss her.    "It seems" the young woman smiled mischievously "that I am capable of dominating you."     Phil laughed, taking another glass of tequila.
The people and the music flooded the environment but he only listened to her. Her voice controlled him now.    "I do it because I respect you, precious." He replied, controlling himself when he saw her with that provocative smile.    "Very well then" MC put his hand to Phil's face, her red nails standing out against the boy's white skin ", you have to learn to be a good boy, Phil, you don't have to rush so soon."     Phil cursed everything he was going through in his mind. Out of respect for MC, he was controlling himself. For someone he had loved and admired in the past and still did as soon as she entered his bar, he remembered it. He was picturing her without clothes, would she be offended if he told her? He bit his lip, looking her up and down. MC laughed.    "Aren't you torturing me too much?" Phil asked her "We know each other too well for you to do this to me, MC, doesn't it hurt to do this to me?"    "No, not really" she laughed with a bit of malice ". But I'll tell you when you can kiss me, okay?"     Phil smiled. So yes, she wanted the same thing as him.    “And how long do I have to wait for that?” he asked her, running a finger along the girl's neck, down to her cleavage.    "When you stop trying to get me on your turf like you do with the other girls."    "You offend me if you think I'm not going to treat you like the other girls." he approached her, brushing his lips over her neck and up to her face.    "Isn't that what you're doing now?" MC whispered, leaning to one side of her, inviting him to continue "Aren't you afraid they'll get jealous and come after you?"    "I don't do this the first time with girls" He left small kisses on the girl's neck and saw that her skin was starting to get goose bumps. She was enjoying it ". And if I'm honest" he passed his hand behind the young woman's neck, looking into her eyes ", at this moment, I don't care if they look at us now."     MC smiled, approaching his lips. Phil took it to mean that he could kiss her, but he was surprised because again she took the initiative from him, biting his lip and playing with his tongue.
When they broke apart, they gasped for air. A small laugh escaped the MC's lips which Phil liked.    “Can you hand over the bar to one of your employees?” She asked, whispering in his ear.    "Give me just a minute and we'll go home."    "Perfect."      They should have more reunions like this.
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juniperhillpatient · 5 months
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I didn’t want to share this with the link but my one & only criticism of that video I shared is super specific & it’s that the video essayist doesn’t like Dennis trying to kill Dee in the castle. In my opinion that was a beautifully hilarious scene / culmination of a hysterically entertaining subplot & I strongly disagree with her that it fell into the same category as other cases of the show becoming too mean spirited & neglecting to show that these characters care about each other in the latest seasons. I do agree that this is a huge issue & literally everything else in the almost 3 hour video I fully agreed with though so please still know I loved the critique. I just really liked the castle episodes & this is an excuse to talk about it lol -
I actually found the sibling dynamic weirdly sweet in the Covid episodes. The joke was funny because it wasn’t that Dennis literally wants to kill Dee, it was that he was delirious with Covid & thought he was communicating with a ghostly castle which is so funny cmon. And before that they were renting a castle together & she was teasing him while also taking care of him & in a giant castle they still chose to share a room like they’re so cute. It’s my favorite plot we’ve had in so many seasons & I must defend it with my life.
To me it was mean in classic sunny fashion which is VERY very notably different to the way new sunny is mean. It called back to such iconic scenes as “Dee? I swear you would be of more use to me if I skinned you and turned your skin into a lampshade. Or fashioned you into a piece of high-end luggage. I can even add you to my collection” followed by a hilariously horrified expression from Kaitlin Olson.
Dennis rushing at Dee in a deranged attempt to behead her only to pass out & she has to take him to the hospital is great. It’s the above mentioned scene with talk of skin luggage - or Dennis & Dee’s talk of murder & Dee’s confusion and about what the “actual plan” is in “Mac is a serial killer” amped up to 100 to me. It’s “Dennis is a serial killer” jokes done right much like “making Dennis Reynolds: a murderer” & NOT like “The Gang Gets Cursed.” That last one takes the joke way too far by leaving the implication that Dennis might actually be a killer which completely ruins the joke both by explaining it & botching the punchline which should always be that Dennis is a pathetic bitch who WISHES he was a serial killer (side note - other than that, I mostly enjoy “The Gang Gets Cursed” btw).
This became an essay but I wanted to share that extremely good & insightful video without my huge block of text commentary on something extremely specific. However I did want to rant about how much i LOVE the siblings in the castle episode imo that is pure classic sunny dynamics shining through the fog of late seasons overall crappiness lmao I’d actually categorize that specific sub plot as one of my favorites in the whole show which is insane given that it’s from season 15. I just really really love the Reynolds siblings being fucked up but in a funny way that has almost sweet aspects hehe
I also think this is an opportunity for me to discuss WHAT the notable difference is between the “mean” aspect of sunny here & why it works SO much better than the other mostly uncomfortable humor of later seasons. The joke’s punchline is on Dennis - something that’s desperately been needed in the sibling dynamic & the way it’s narratively framed for a LONG fucking time. As discussed in that amazing & super insightful video, new sunny punches down & it’s frankly cringe more often than not. Old Sunny knew who it’s jokes were on & it was always the person just asking for comeuppance by being awful. I’m not saying Dee isn’t awful because that would defeat the purpose of her character but she does suffer from what I call “the Meg Griffin effect.” It also hurts such characters as Britta Perry from Community, Jerry Gergich from Parks & Rec, & Toby Flenderson from The Office. It becomes more uncomfortable & off putting than funny as an audience member after a while to see everyone being consistently awful to one specific character who is not inherently worse than the others but is always the butt of the joke. It’s a trope I will simply never enjoy, personally.
But the castle plot works because it’s certainly deranged & mean (it’s literally not even always sunny if it’s not deranged & dark & mean you might as well give up & watch a different show if you don’t like your dynamics fucked up) but the joke is not -
A. Dennis is a serial killer ooooh edgy! - tired, contrived, Reddit core, unfunny, defeats the point of sunny which is that these guys are all incompetent losers
B. Haha dee is gonna die! She sucks lol! - that is one way to interpret the joke I guess but it’s so clearly actually that Dennis is in a fucking fever infused hallucination about ghosts & dee ultimately has to take his passed out ass the ER because this stupid bitch didn’t get vaccinated
Like it redeems so much or the awful dynamic they’ve built (which they unfortunately double down on anyway later. *cough* the gang goes bowling *cough*) where it’s like…. Isn’t it hilarious that Dennis constantly abuses his sister guys? Haha what if dee literally killed herself lol? Isn’t this so funny aren’t you having fun?
Classic sunny is mean. I’m not trying to say I dislike mean punchlines. But……. Dennis passing out & almost dying Covid IS mean? Dee having to deal with her brother almost beheading her & listening to his deranged conversations with “the castle” IS mean? It’s just that it’s mean in a FUNNY way. Like Charlie getting rejected by the waitress in the musical episode. Like Dee realizing how disgusting her schemes are in “PTSDee” & feeling sickened by herself. Like Frank getting told to fuck himself in his fat fucking ass in the Christmas episode. Or Mac shitting his pants in “Mac Day.” These are all examples of times I’ve found the meanness of sunny funny because it’s about showing what happens when you’re a horrible person who never learns.
Anyway in conclusion I love the Reynolds siblings & the castle plot is the only good part of new sunny goodbye
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moonjxsung · 4 months
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omg i heard we were trashing exes.
i'm gonna try to keep this short but i was with this piece of shit for almost four years so he did quite a lot of damage and trauma.
my first bf was in high school, i was vvvvv clueless about serious relationships and what was normal and what wasn't. anyway,
man said ily like two weeks in, told me we'd get married, bought me things as his way to get me to not be mad at him instead of actually apologizing for what he did. he had me convinced that id be nothing without him, that no one would love me the way he did and wouldn't love me after him cos of how much he fucked me up.
he had a serious god complex and really put himself on a pedestal, he was the smartest person and would not hesitate to bring others down for his own gain. even me his own damn gf. (keep in mind we dated in high school and now i'm 22 and he's still the same to this day.)
i grew up being called dumb and stupid by my peers so he used the fact i grew up believing i was a dumbass to his advantage to convince me that he's smart so he knows what's best. he looked down on me, talked down to me like i was a clueless child and he was simply leading the way.
even if he knew little to nothing about my friends and family cos he never tried to get to know them he would take the opportunity to shit on them whenever i'd rant about issues that came up. he tried to control which friends i was allowed to hang out with by making a good and bad friend list and showing that to my mother.
(at the time our relationship was rocky and she reached out to him cos she wanted to know i was okay. instead of telling her that she could trust me he makes a fucking list)
he ruined relationships with friends we shared, eventually isolating me from everyone. he became my support system and only friend.
bro had me feeling like anything and everything i did was wrong. looking back he never went out of his way to get to learn about what i liked, my hobbies and shit but was more than happy to give me every little detail about his interests when i'd ask him. he criticized everything i liked or did.
bro was the definition, the human fucking form of a manipulator, gaslighter and overall toxic human being. love really makes you stupid and blind to the fucked up shit that happens in a toxic relationship so it wasn't till i got out that i realized the shit he did to me wasn't normal (don't even get me started on the other shit that would literally need a big ass trigger warning)
my ex after him was 10x better but even if that ex did the bare fucking minimum of communication, respect and being a decent human i was like "omg this hasn't happened before" "omg is this normal?"
this ex was actually great but the fact i was in awe of the bare minimum means the toxic ex really had my bar on the floor
anyway ily star
~ 🌸
BESTIE :( I am so fucking sorry oh my god he sounds like absolute fucking SCUM :( the fact that all of us have a horror story about some ex is actually so alarming like WHAT is it with men that they just go around treating everyone like fucking garbage WHYYY are you even seeking out a relationship then???? And then people wonder why we love forms of escapism like fanfic or romance as a genre bc we love imagining healthy love and intimacy… as a form of escape from the complete opposite we’ve been dealt 🤕 I hope you’re far far away from him now & staying both safe and healthy!! None of those shitty ass fucking men deserved you anyway and I’m manifesting so hard that you find someone actually worth your time who gives you all the love n respect you deserve. Swear we could make a fucking emotional support group on here with how many of you guys have horror stories abt men 😭😭 sending you all my love annonie I hope you heal from all you’ve been dealt :( I love you always 🫂💓🫶🌙⭐️
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thevalleyisjolly · 2 years
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Ok.  I want to step back from the brain slug ethics for a moment, and talk about Norman Takamori more broadly as an East Asian character and what that means both in general and for this show.  Because if you look at the role that Norman has occupied this season, it embodies quite literally how (East) Asian characters often get treated in Western media and by Western fans, and it’s a useful framework to move into thinking about how we in this fandom engage with East Asian characters.
I’m not going to do a whole rundown on Orientalism and tropes because I’ve already discussed that extensively in other posts, and you can read Edward Said’s original text for yourself here.  The salient point I want to bring forth from those discussions is that Asian characters in Western media often get reduced to certain tropes (e.g. quiet and submissive, cartoonish sidekick, sexy fantasy), or more recently, are required to be “positive” representation for their communities (which translates to absolutely perfect and badass, a few surface flaws but nothing truly dislikable or bad).  
Nor is this limited to creators and production companies.  Even when there is a complex, nuanced, or antagonistic Asian character in media, fan engagement often ranges from ignoring them and relegating them to the background, to flattening them down into a few shallow characteristics and tropes.  If they were likeable originally, that’s all they’ll ever get to be (options range from “uwu cute” to “who needs a personality when you can be badass”).  If they were unlikable, then they either become reduced to a one-dimensional villain role or it’s “we’re going to invent a whole new character with the same name that’s likeable and/or “redeemable” according to our personal standards.”
The gist of this is that for those of us who live in a Western society or who are immersed in its cultural output, it’s common for Asian characters to be dismissed or reduced to tropes in Western media and fan spaces, and their bodies treated as a commodity, something to entertain us or for us to manipulate and puppet around as we please.  Just take a look at Kpop twitter if you want a particularly egregious real life example, but it happens to greater or lesser degrees in nearly any fandom with Asian characters in it.
(And yes, this is something common to many marginalized communities.  This particular post will specifically focus on the context of East Asian diaspora communities because Norman is Japanese-”Americadian” and Zac is Japanese-American and I personally come from an East Asian diaspora though I am not Japanese)
So what does this have to do with Norman?  Well, there’s no question that Norman is certainly not a nice or likeable man.  Which is why, from an in-game perspective, when the ‘nicer’ Valdrinor took over, everyone was happy about it!  Now we’ve got someone that people actually like and get along with...but through stripping away Norman’s agency and identity.  Of course no one likes being around assholes and Norman is definitely an abrasive and demeaning asshole, but that’s also the point.  He isn’t nice and he isn’t kind, but that’s who he, Norman Takamori, is.  
Norman Takamori is a messy, complicated, unlikable character who has had everything difficult or unpalatable about him taken away, along with his agency, and who has been replaced by a “nicer,” more more compliant character that puppets around his body, mimics his identity and literally does whatever he’s told by other people.  Starting to sound familiar?
Now, I am definitely not going to argue that this was a deliberate character choice.  But I do think that the parallel connections you can draw between Norman/“Skip” and the general treatment of Asian characters in Western media are a useful device for us to examine how we ourselves treat East Asian characters in this fandom.  Because it could be better.  It really could.
There are two sides to this conversation - how the show treats its East Asian characters, and how fandom treats East Asian characters.  To start with the show, there have been some ups and downs.  I’ve praised D20 in the past for NPCs such as Jackson Wei, Cindy Wong, and the Shen family, and for some absolutely stellar performances by Erika and Zac with characters like Danielle and Ricky.  There have also been a few missteps.  The whole “white saviour” story line in TUC II with the Order of the Concrete Fist springs to mind, as does the uncomfortable tendency for the official art to depict every single East Asian character with pale skin.
This season in particular has also had its ups and downs.  I personally like Ronnie Kwan and Auma Liu, I think they’re interesting characters and fairly nuanced for a supporting NPC.  I don’t love how the narrative and the mechanics enable the PCs to consistently disregard Norman’s agency.  It’s not that the PCs made the decision to ignore what was going on with the brain slug in the first place, because this is not the “lawful good” campaign.  But it’s things like constantly emphasizing how bad/incompetent Norman is, right before or after the PCs get a payout or in-game bonus.  It’s things like making the surgery not a risk to Skip, only Norman, and framing Skip as the most important person in the situation when the point of the surgery is to access Norman’s memories and it’s Norman’s body which is at risk.  It’s things like only presenting the negative parts of Norman’s backstory and highlighting the bad/pathetic elements of his character when even antagonists get moments of admiration or intrigue.
As for fandom, I and other fans have written a lot about how fandom treats D20’s East Asian characters, especially Ricky, so I won’t go back over that now.  There’s your usual problems -whitewashed art, ignoring or simplifying East Asian characters, objectification, etc- and things like double standards and viciously defending white faves against those “mean Asians”.  Cody and Ricky, and Evan and K spring most readily to mind.
Then there’s everything about Norman.  The problem with fandom and Norman Takamori is not the brain slug story line by itself.  I emphasize that Zac wanted to explore this story line, and that Asian people should be allowed to explore stories and characters without having to worry about whether they’re being “positive” representation.  I also point out that brain slugs are a science fiction trope for a reason, that the science fiction genre is partially designed to ask difficult ethical and philosophical questions that don’t have a “right” answer, because the point is not the answer, the point is how you got to your answer.
The problem, then, with fandom and Norman Takamori is that we hold him to a different standard than we do with other characters.  It’s the dichotomy of excitedly cheering on Sid’s journey of self discovery and self-determination, and then talking about how Norman “deserves” to have his bodily autonomy violated, or how it’s the “best thing” that could have happened to him because now people like “him,” because it’ll “teach him a lesson.”  We’re willing to hop onboard the potential of rescuing/redeeming Barry Nyne from a brain slug, an NPC who’s also behaved with hostility towards the PCs, but won’t even consider it for Norman because he’s “mean” and “deserves” what happened to him.  We watch in delighted awe as the party helps Gnosis and goes to extensive lengths to respect their choices and encourage their free will, all the while ignoring Norman’s right to autonomy.
Sure, but it’s just because Norman is a jerk, right?  We don’t like him because he’s an asshole, not because he’s Japanese.  And that’s very true.  Norman’s an unlikable asshole, and that has nothing to do with his race.  What does have to do with his race though is, again, the double standards.  We may not dislike Norman because he’s Japanese, but we do hold him to a different standard compared to white characters, and we are quick to dismiss him as an unpleasant, miserable man after a single episode that was mostly combat.
Consider: this season is arguably the least “heroic” out of all the D20 seasons.  Characters come from complex backgrounds, and make morally grey decisions.  We accept this, this is part of the story and the setting.  So why is it that when the other characters make dubious decisions (e.g. the non-consensual brain surgery), we excuse them by saying that it’s a rough story setting and these characters are proldiers who have already made many morally grey decisions, but when Norman, who lives in the same story setting and has also made morally dubious decisions in his past, behaves badly, we take that as “evidence” that he deserves to have bad things happen to him?
"But the other characters mostly did stuff to NPCs, and Norman was mean to the PCs, whom we actually care about!”  Yes, and Norman is also a PC.  Sure, he hasn’t been around much, and you can rightfully dislike how he interacted with other PCs, but he is also a PC, and the other PCs have consistently denigrated and dehumanized him throughout the season.  You can certainly say that this comes from understandable frustration with a horrible boss, but it doesn’t change the facts of their behaviour.  Why do we allow the party the benefit of context, that their boss treated them badly, but we do not allow Norman the benefit of context, that a lot of his bitterness and insecurity was exacerbated by his experiences within the Space Brigade?
I am not here to attack the cast or the PCs, or to justify/defend Norman’s behaviour.  Norman is absolutely an unpleasant jerk who chose to take out his personal issues on his crew, and that’s on him.  I would not like him if he was a real person, and I don’t condemn people for not liking him.  Nor am I saying that all the characters are bad and that we should be criticizing everything they do.  But the way we in the fandom talk about and treat Norman surfaces some unconscious racial biases in the fandom.  I am not saying that you are a bad racist person if you don’t like Norman.  Nor am I saying that this is conscious, deliberate, or malicious.  But there is a pattern in this fandom of holding East Asian characters to different standards than white characters, and it’s something we need to be more aware of and examine more critically. 
Also, you don’t have to like Norman and you don’t have to like that he’s a middle aged man whom we presume is straight, but you cannot ignore that he is a man of colour when you talk about him.  I’ve seen quite a few jokes and comments taking aim at Norman’s age, gender, and sexuality, and it’s true that certain aspects of his identity would give him certain privileges in our world.  But especially when you’re a person of colour, your race affects how all aspects of your identities are viewed and treated by others, even in areas where you might hold privileges.  A cishet man of colour does not have the same privileges and experiences as a cishet white man, is not viewed in the same way.  Certainly, Norman and the in-game setting of A Starstruck Odyssey are fictional.  But the world that we live in is not, nor is the way we engage with racialized characters.
Again, the issue is not with the brain slug story line itself.  Could we be having more conversations about its implications for autonomy and consent?  Yes, that’s the whole reason why it’s a trope in science fiction.  But the issue is not with the concept of brain slugs, the issue is in how the show is managing the execution of that story line and in how the fandom is engaging with it, particularly with the context of Norman being Asian and the fandom’s history with Asian characters. 
There’s room to improve for everyone.  This is not an attack, it’s a call to do better.
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stargazingellie · 6 months
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lazarus is risen
chapter four: gifts from hestia
(masterlist) (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)
hello beautiful people <3 here's part 4!!
synopsis: After deciding to let Abby live, Ellie has returned to Jackson. But given everything she's lost, it no longer feels like home. She's sad, she's confused, and above all else, she is so, so very lonely. So when a group of strangers shows up and offers her a second chance, she might just take them up on that. Ellie must decide between staying in Jackson – and living with the ghosts of her past – or leaving in search of new meaning. Whatever she decides, her choice will have far-reaching consequences – not just for herself, or for Jackson, but for all of humanity.
Or,
Ellie saves the world, maybe?
(ellie williams x reader, post-tlou2, useless lesbians, slow burn, cross country road trip, lots of references to greek mythology, etc.)
Hestia: Greek goddess of hearth and home. Originates from the Greek word “Ἑστία,” meaning “hearth” or “fireside.”
[Ellie]
Ellie could feel the stares before they even got to the town center. As news does in small towns, word of the new arrivals and their conversation the night before seemed to have already made its way around the entire community. Ellie could hear murmured conversations as she passed by, and it was obvious she was the topic of interest. After all, it wasn’t very often that a group of strangers showed up and took someone with them when they left. Even less common, though, was the revelation of that person’s immunity, which inevitably became the talk of the town.
Ellie kept her head down as she walked. Never before had so many people known her secret, and despite having no control over her situation, she still felt guilty. She felt, of all people, she was the last person who deserved such a gift. And now, walking through the town center, everyone else seemed to feel that way too.
When they arrived at the dining hall, the newcomers were already waiting. When Dr. Reynolds noticed the packed bag on Ellie’s back, his face lit up. He clasped his hands together and exclaimed, “Ms. Williams! We’re thrilled you’ve decided to join us.” Next to him, Lucy smiled widely.
“Uh… yeah, no problem,” Ellie replied awkwardly. She couldn’t help but notice other townspeople taking a keen interest in their interaction. Part of her wished Dr. Reynolds would tone it down a few decibels, and she tried to swallow her embarrassment.
Lucy fished around for something in her bag. “Here, we got some food for you already,” she said as she handed Ellie some canned goods. “We didn’t know what you would decide, but he’s the eternal optimist.” She nodded her head towards her father, who grinned with excitement. “Says he had a good feeling about you.”
Ellie looked between the two and, against her better judgment, felt herself warming up to the pair. Hard as she tried, it was difficult to dislike them. “Thanks,” she said.
Putting her hand on Ellie’s shoulder, Maria said, “Well, let’s get you all on the road then, shall we? The gate is this way.”
After a short walk, the group arrived at the entrance and Maria gave the order to open the doors. The newcomers made their way through the opening, but Ellie lingered inside. Wanting to say something, she turned to Maria, but words escaped her. Maria, usually so eloquent, seemed at a loss too. Instead, the woman reached forward and embraced Ellie in a tight hug. 
Still holding on, Maria said, “Ellie, I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but I want you to know how much I care about you. You’ve been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, and I’ve seen how much it’s weighed on you these past few years. Whatever happens out there, I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.”
Ellie exhaled deeply. “Me, too,” was all she said. It was all she needed to say.
They were interrupted by someone nearby clearing their throat. Turning to see who it was, Ellie almost couldn’t believe who she saw. Even after so many years, she was still surprised by how similar he and Joel looked –  the same deep lines around his mouth and nose, the same tired eyes. Well, just eye, now.
“Hey, Tommy,” she said as she approached cautiously. She’d barely spoken to Tommy since returning, and she wasn’t sure what his intentions were. They both stood with their hands in their pockets.
“Hey, Ellie,” he replied. Even the way they said her name was the same. “I, uh… I heard you were leaving.” Ellie gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded in confirmation.
“Well, I just wanted to see you before you left. I, uh… I wanted to give you this.” He took something out of his pocket and handed it to her. It was small and flat, and displayed a hand drawn picture of a moth. She instantly recognized it as one of Joel’s guitar picks.
Tommy continued nervously, “It was one of his favorites. Kept the damn thing on him all the time. Thought you might like to have it.”
She could recall many a night when she had watched Joel on the porch with his guitar, that very same pick in hand. The memories brought a soft smile to her face.
“He’d be proud of you, y’know,” Tommy said quietly. “No doubt in my mind about it.”
Ellie felt her throat tighten. Not wanting to cry, all she responded with was, “Thanks, Tommy.”
He cleared his throat again. “Right, well, don’t wanna hold you up. Good luck out there.” He gave a final nod and walked back toward the center of town. Ellie stood watching him for a moment, then turned back towards the gate. She waved to a tearful Maria as the large doors closed behind her.
The short hike was largely uneventful. The early-autumn air meant they didn’t work up much of a sweat as they made their way through the forest. Lucy and Dr. Reynolds occasionally conversed about the wildlife, but the other three mostly remained silent. After about an hour, they stumbled out onto a paved road and approached a large truck parked nearby. They loaded their belongings into the back of the military-grade vehicle and took their seats in the cab. In the backseat, Lucy sat in the middle, with Dr. Reynolds to her left and Ellie to her right. Ellie leaned her head on the window to watch the foliage pass by, trying to cement into memory the place she once called home.
They stopped briefly every few hours to stretch their legs, until the sun began to set and Jacobs suggested they make camp for the night. The two guards left to check their surroundings while Lucy and Dr. Reynolds began to unpack the truck. They all moved with such efficiency that Ellie could tell they’d completed this routine many times before.
As he retrieved items from the truck, Dr. Reynolds said to Ellie, “I’m going to start a fire and get some food going. Would you mind helping unpack the rest? Lucy can show you what to grab.”
Without waiting for a reply, he turned and walked away. Lucy stood in the bed of the truck and waved Ellie over. When Ellie joined her, Lucy handed her items to carry.
“It’s mostly just sleeping bags and blankets,” Lucy explained, jumping down from the truck with a roll of fabric under each arm. “We have tents, too, but we only put them up when it rains. Saves time.”
“Makes sense,” Ellie replied.
“Alvaro and Jacobs alternate taking watch during the night. We’ve offered to help, but they insist on doing it themselves.” Lucy gave an exaggerated eye roll and smiled playfully. “Helps them feel like real macho-men, I think. But whatever floats their boat, I guess. More sleep for me.”
They finished laying the sleeping bags around the fire as Alvaro and Jacobs returned from their patrol of the area.
“Looks quiet,” Alvaro confirmed.
“That’s what I like to hear!” said Dr. Reynolds as he handed the men bowls of hot food. He then handed one to Ellie, which she accepted gratefully, realizing she hadn’t eaten all day.
She watched the fire as she ate, listening quietly to the others’ conversations. She didn’t know any of the people they were talking about, and she was more interested in Lucy and Dr. Reynolds’ relationship anyway. Ellie had known them for less than twenty-four hours, but it didn’t even take a whole minute to see how much they cared for each other. Lucy feigned annoyance during his tangents and ramblings, but she looked at him with such admiration it was clear she loved him deeply. Their back-and-forth was so easy, so comfortable. Observing their dynamic made Ellie a bit jealous, but mostly it just made her sad. It felt like watching an alternate version of her life – one that could have been, but would never be.
She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She lost herself in thought as she gazed sadly into the fire, only vaguely aware of Dr. Reynolds asking Jacobs a question. She didn’t notice Lucy until the other girl sat down right beside her.
“You looked cold,” Lucy explained quietly as she wrapped a blanket around Ellie’s shoulders. “How are you feeling?”
“Warmer,” Ellie replied cautiously, surprised by the kind gesture.
Lucy laughed. “Well, that’s good. But I meant, like, how are you feeling… otherwise? You looked a little upset.”
Ellie scratched the back of her neck in embarrassment. “Oh, yeah, um, I’m okay. Just… missing someone, I guess.”
Lucy nodded solemnly. “That’s understandable. Did you get to say goodbye to them, at least?”
Ellie shook her head. “No, he, uh… he’s been gone a long time.”
“Oh. I’m really sorry, Ellie.”
Ellie smiled sadly. “Thanks.”
Lucy absentmindedly ran a thumb over the tattoo on her wrist. Those dots – they seemed so familiar, but Ellie still couldn’t place where she’d seen them before. Lucy gazed at the fire as she said softly, “I know what it’s like to miss someone, too.” Ellie watched as the flames reflected in Lucy’s deep brown eyes.
Lucy continued, “I had a brother. A twin, actually. His name was Erebus.” She smiled to herself. “The name’s kind of out-there, I know. But our mom was a Classics professor. She was really into the Greeks or something. I never got to meet her, but my dad’s told me all about her. He says when my brother and I were born, the only way to tell us apart was our hair. His was really dark and mine was, well, like this” – she gestured to her strawberry-blonde curls – “and my mom knew just what to call us. Erebus and Lucia, darkness and light. Twins, poetic duality, yada yada yada.”
“Wow, you sure she wasn’t secretly a Firefly?” Ellie joked. “They really took that whole ‘ When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light’ thing and ran with it.”
Lucy made an exaggerated time-out motion and said facetiously, “Woah, woah, woah. I cannot believe you just talked about my dead mother like that.” Ellie laughed, glad to have broken the ice between them. It was hard enough leaving Jackson, the least she could do was try to make a friend. She found herself feeling immensely grateful that someone her own age had come looking for her.
“And anyway,” Lucy said as she poked Ellie’s shoulder. “It’s not just me. Your mom must have been a Firefly too.” Ellie’s confusion must have shown on her face, because Lucy quickly explained, “Y’know… Ellie, Elizabeth, Liz. They all come from lux , which is light in Latin.” Lucy nudged Ellie’s shoulder with her own to emphasize the point. “That means you’re part of the light too, Ellie.”
Lucy yawned deeply and stood up. “Alright, enough history for now. All this sitting has me exhausted. There are extra blankets, so just let me know if you get cold again.” She gave Ellie a warm smile and turned to walk back to her own spot. Before leaving, though, she turned back and said, “I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but we’re really glad you’re here.”
Ellie smiled back as she watched the other girl turn away. She tucked herself into her own sleeping bag and propped up her backpack as a makeshift pillow. She considered what Lucy had said about their names. Despite the unpleasant taste the Firefly motto left in her mouth, she still liked the possibility of helping make the world a little brighter. And out of anyone she had ever met, she felt like Dr. Reynolds’ team had the best chance at doing just that.
We’re really glad you’re here. As Ellie drifted off to sleep, she decided, definitively, that she was glad to be there, too.
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90363462 · 1 year
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Here's How To Have More Intense Orgasms During Sex, According To Experts
Arousal is a major key.
Kiarra Sylvester
Jun. 10, 2022 05:05PM EST
In addition to getting to the bag, the girlies want to know how to get to the orgasm – the intense ones that make you feel like you have superpowers. The topic of women and orgasm is often discussed and it’s mostly because they don’t happen often when, in reality, they should be! However, many factors work against women including society’s centering on male pleasure and penis people with antiquated rhetoric that implies women are meant to provide pleasure – not to receive it.
And even when men don’t think about this we’ve spent so many centuries discussing male pleasure–from the biblical to the pornographic that even the most well-meaning men can’t or don’t know how to deliver. This is not to say that there aren’t men out there who have an attitude that says “girl, fuck you” but that there’s lots of wiggle room for learning. As is the case for anyone.
In the words of one of my favorite TikToks (yes, my ability to speak TikTok is now a prerequisite of writing): prepare to be sick of me. Why? Because I’m that girl, the one willing to talk to you until you’re blue in the face (and maybe elsewhere) on this subject matter. I want you and your partner to be able to read the room, and while communication will play a large role in that, so will knowledge which comes in various forms (communication included).
However, today – here and now – we asked 3 experts about the best ways to reach uber-intense orgasms with your partner. Here’s what they had to say. 
Add More Clitoral Stimulation Before & During Penetration
“There are two major reasons why people with vulvas get the short end of the orgasm gap: penetration, especially intercourse, often doesn't stimulate the clitoris enough to help the person get to orgasm (the clit is the homolog to the penis and tends to be the center of sexual sensation for those who have one); and also, stimulation often doesn't go on long enough to help a person get to orgasm. This doesn't mean you should believe what you read in your spam–that a person with a penis needs to last all night. But, it does mean that the duration and focus of stimulation usually matters.
"So it will help to make sure the partner with the vulva is fully aroused when penetration intercourse begins. Often that is also sidelined--but what some call foreplay and I call arousal activities is what's missing in many couples' sex lives. Longer-duration intercourse can be great too–but only if the person being penetrated is fully turned on when it commences. Thrusting does not generally turn on a not-yet-turned-on person. It can even feel irritating, painful, or worse.
"From this, you may have noticed that I am advocating for high arousal. You pretty much cannot have amazing orgasms (or most orgasms) without it. From there, duration may make the orgasm even more amazing. But being turned on first is key. And of course, more clitoral stimulation (whether it is either partner adding pleasurable stimulation to the clit; oral sex; or playing with a vibrator before or during intercourse) are other ways to make this magic happen.” - Carol Queen, Ph.D., Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist
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Experiment With Learning How to Have a Cervical Orgasm
"What you probably haven’t heard of is the cervical orgasm. But don’t fret, that’s only because there’s little research to confirm or deny its existence. The cervical orgasm concept is potentially authentic, but I personally question whether this is more of a whole-body experience that’s producing a releasing effect. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. The cervix is a donut-shaped portion of the uterus that’s made entirely of cartilage. Located at the lower end of the uterus, the cervix prevents whatever enters the vagina from going deeper than it should. 
"The center of this inch-long tube is said to be highly sensitive. When stimulated, it produces a strong orgasmic reaction that runs through the body, though its power is entirely dependent on the individual. The issue with orgasms stemming from the cervix is that, unlike the vagina and clitoris, there aren’t many nerve endings in the area, which is why a cervical orgasm is actually the result of other nerves–like the clitoris–being stimulated. It’s quite possible that some women do have innervation or nerve conduction, and therefore experience sensation at the cervix or near the cervix. But it’s not a common place for women to report orgasmic responses.
"However, there is indeed a sacred or goddess spot located just under the cervix that promotes an ecstatic orgasmic response. The best way to encourage cervical orgasms is through deep penetration. And fret not, men with 'below-average penises,' because deep penetration can be achieved through toys as well. Because no one orgasm is alike, the best way to find out how deep penetration works for you is through regular experimentation. In this case, gauge which speed and depth feel best for your partner.
"Additionally, I recommend experimenting with cervical orgasm when the woman is already aroused, as the flood of chemicals makes the deep thrusting sensations feel more amazing than painful. I also believe the best odds at attaining a cervical orgasm is to attempt it during or close to ovulation as the cervix is lower and easier to reach. Do not continue if it’s painful. Instead, keep her aroused. Lube helps. Cervical orgasms are easiest to achieve when women are close to orgasm. 
"But most of all, it’s important to note that you must be gentle when experimenting with the cervix as it is an entirely new sensation that can cause pain. Let her lead the way. This is for her benefit, after all.” - Dr. Mike Anderson, Ph.D., Sex & Relationship Expert
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Give the Body Ample Time To Be Efficiently Aroused
“It's true that a lot of women aren't reaching their full orgasmic potential. If a vagina owner is not efficiently aroused before starting penetration or clit stimulation, it’s not going to result in the orgasm of their fullest potential. Don't skip the build-up. It's a major factor that determines how intense your orgasm is. Get aroused, build it up to the heavens, and then get into direct stimulation! Edging might be a great way to reach intensified orgasm quickly or try simultaneous stimulation for an intense blended orgasm.
"It's all about arousal level and build-up time. To really get the most out of penetration or any kind of vulvic stimulation, you need to be efficiently aroused. Getting to that point may look different for everyone. But if you can spend ample time teasing, touching, or talking (whatever floats your boat), your orgasm will thank you. [When you] give your body time to respond to the stimulus the vulva and vagina will fill with blood making every touch that much more blissful.” - Lauren Johnson, co-founder of sexual wellness & sex education brand Berry Lemon
The one thing that stands out from each expert is that there are two keys when providing a more intense orgasm for your partner which require arousal and stimulation. Though each expert provided various ways to achieve a more intense orgasm, the recipe begins and ends with these two things. In my opinion, it translates to attentiveness – requiring selflessness and time – so do be sure that you’re able to provide your partner with these things when pleasure is on the table. 
That's the tried and true recipe for a more intense orgasm with your partner.
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astrobei · 1 year
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Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12
hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !
12. talk about a new friend you made this year
ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)
i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.
abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun
yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.
haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂
thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.
@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3
moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily
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campgender · 1 month
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idk if other folks who switch have experience with this but lately i’ve been teasing out this gordian knot of victim-blaming in which after i have a dicey-or-worse time subbing for someone i get really insecure about my [self / skills / persona] as a dom. the thought process basically goes like:
the person domming didn’t do anything wrong.
therefore anything i feel they did wrong, such as something they introduced without negotiation, is my fault for being upset by because [i’m too sensitive / i’m a fucked up bad victim / whatever].
other people, who are not ontologically Too Much, would be okay with this. no one else has raised this issue with them before so either i’m the only one who’s had a problem or i’m retroactively accusing this person of fucking people’s shit up.
option b is unutterable in addition to genuinely not being my read on the situation therefore me being hurt is my fault, this is what everybody else is okay with / expecting / looking for.
if this shit is What Subs Want & i am thoroughly not delivering it then maybe i’m not any good at domming. (tellingly, my response to this insecurity is never to stop negotiating / checking in so much but rather to draw back from d-type roles.)
so. pick a thread and pull.
“either i shouldn’t be harmed or a lot of other people have been” is a false dichotomy & vast oversimplification of the factors + forces at play (pun intended) here. building + maintaining a sexual ethic is a lifelong process, and i’ve harmed so many people (whether we’ve had ‘a sexual relationship’ or not) as a result of my own ignorance, reactionary beliefs, trauma, fear, power-hunger, insecurity, etc around sex. believing the best of someone — that they mean what they say & aren’t trying to harm me — doesn’t mean treating them as static, never in need of learning; that’s dehumanizing + unfair to both of us. it’s certainly not how i’d want to be treated.
it’s okay for me to need things that are different from other people. even if i was literally The Most Sensitive Man In The World i’m worth accommodating when it’s not harming others & if someone can’t or doesn’t want to meet my needs they don’t have to fuck me.
plenty of people don’t know that there are more boundaries on heaven & earth than have been dreamt of in our philosophy, that there are depths of communication people will travel through with them proactively & earnestly, that there are those of us doing our damnedest to teach these things to one another again & again every time the world tries to write over them.
some of those people, i’ve had the honor of them subbing for me, & the thing is, their limitless wisdom & grace inverts the paranoia entirely: when i tell some d-type stranger what i need to make the night viable, i am projecting the view from a blueprint we’ve drafted together. i trust the people i dom to be honest about their desires (& whether those are being met) because they are why i’m able to be honest about my own. of course i give them what they want; we talk about what that is.
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blueboyluca · 2 years
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There’s been fascinating discussions about resource guarding on the recent episodes of The Bitey End of the Dog. In the Jean Donaldson episode, she had a really interesting perspective about resource guarding in pet dogs today as a "useless” behaviour.
I want to be really clear that I would bet my house that the underlying driver of it is the inheritance of very important software that animals who don’t have ubiquitous resources – so if you think about giraffes or zebras, there’s not a lot of guarding of grass or guarding of browse. However there might be fights among males for females because that is a scarce resource. In a carnivore or an omnivorous species such as wolves – from which dogs are arguably derived – you kill something and it’s very very unlikely you’re going to have ubiquitous moose and deer and rabbits and what you need to eat, so it behooves you, if you have a corner of carcass or piece of food, that you guard it from your conspecifics, especially if you are a social species. So dogs have inherited this and amazingly it has been conserved so well considering we have not been for two hundred generations selectively breeding to retain it. If anything we claim to not like it and yet it persists in a good many dogs, which to me that is fantastically interesting.
And because, as I said before, it’s no longer under selection pressure to be efficient, to be aimed strictly at food in a situation where there is scarcity – dogs first of all don’t have scarcity, most pet dogs are fed to the point of obesity or near obesity. They expect their meal once or twice a day. And they also are not selectively bred to do so. So what’s happened is it’s drifted so now dogs will guard useless, from the evolutionary perspective, useless things such as tennis balls, such as a stick, etcetera, which no wolf – that would be weeded out, it would be purged from a wild population because behaviour is expensive and aggression is very expensive behaviour. It’s not only calorically demanding, it also risks injury to one’s self so it’s not something that you just want to do willy-nilly and yet we have domestic dogs who are doing it.
And then Sindhoor Pangal in her episode had some really interesting comments about the bigger picture in regard to resource guarding amongst street dogs.
Do not forget that a dog evolved in an ecological niche that included human beings which means that we are a big part of their resources. We determine their survival. They have come to learn how to use us as a resource, not only asking for food – and that’s another thing, a lot of people think that dogs are primarily predators, that’s not what we see with free-living dogs. They are primarily beggars and the next form of food is scavenging. So the first form of food is convincing you to give them the fabulous cheese, right? So communicating with us, getting resources from us or medical intervention from us, resolving conflict – I’ve had dogs that used me, when they realised that I’m a friendly person, to use me to help resolve conflicts with other dogs. That’s just fascinating. So when we talk about resources I think we have to factor in the human resources as well and see that it does play a huge impact towards how they behave towards conspecifics and us.
We owe a lot to Darwin but I think one of the things I think that we probably have been suffering from is the idea of “survival of the fittest”. The notion of it, the way we’ve pictured it with this idea of fight to the top, fight for survival, life does not work like that. Especially if you look at a street dog you realise that when there is conflict over resource, fighting for it, regardless of whether you win the fight or lose the fight, you are worse off for it because you are likely to have sustained an injury and if a street dog sustains an injury it can get infested, maggots, and the dog can die. And so even if you don’t get the food, often the more sensible thing to do, the survival of the fittest – the fittest is the one that not fights the most ferociously, the fittest is the one that knows when to walk away and pick another day and knows when posturing will work. And a big part of posturing is conversational, a big part of posturing is knowing who that posturing works with. You roll up your sleeves and you say, “I’m ready for a fight” and you see the other person stand up and is bigger than you and you say, “Oh all right, maybe not” and you definitely see that in street dogs, you definitely see it in all social beings. That’s just the most sensible thing to do, it’s just more adaptive to do it that way.
When the lockdown happened, that was an interesting one. So when you have animals that have evolved in an ecological niche with human beings, something like a country-wide lockdown where all the human beings disappear, all the establishments close, all the butchers and the restaurants close, now you have significantly changed the environment and you have dropped the resources significantly. So we did actually see a sudden spike in dogs moving all over the place, leaving their territories, getting into new territories, so there were fights based on that and they had to kind of look for new sources. There was a lot of stress and tension so we did see that. I was talking to some of the feeders, many of them who started stepping out and feeding the dogs, I was following up with them. I was just doing a very small bit outside my house but I wanted to talk to people who were feeding in large numbers because their dogs had now scattered. And they said that after the first week or so, they quickly learnt about their new reality, they learnt about their new neighbours, they learnt that there was no need to fight, they learned to share limited resources that had dropped in quality and quantity. Because the first few weeks and months of the lockdown, we ourselves were struggling for provisions and food so people really didn’t have much to feed, there was no meat at the butchers so we were trying to make do with eggs and bread and whatever we could and things that streeties don’t particularly want to eat, but they said OK, they started eating it, there was less food that they learned to share and new social dynamics they had to negotiate to say, right so we’ve got to figure this out. We’ve got to learn to share. What makes them do that? What makes them go from fighting first week and then the second week realising, right, this is not making sense, let’s try to talk this out? Don’t you sometimes wish we’d do that a little bit more, human beings?
I so love listening to these clever people talk about these broader cultural, ecological and evolutionary concepts around dogs and humans.
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fiction-is-queer · 1 year
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Some Episode 8 Theorizing I Have to Get Off my Chest
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Do I believe anything in this post will be accurate or come true next ep? Of course not (I’ve learned my lesson with the gloves). But I have fun making fringe theories, so I want to use ep 8’s preview and try to see what the hell could happen. If it doesn’t, this was fun to write anyways.
“If you don’t keep quiet, you’ll never see your son again.”
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So, Nok has kidnapped Din’s mom and is holding her hostage. A lack of Din’s dad leads me to believe that he is dead, but I won’t be certain until I see his body. DRAMA 101, people! Based on everything we’ve been shown, Din’s mom knows that someone’s been in her son’s room and she has the basis to believe that person is her son (eg the flower). However, she has no more information about Din besides that (that we know of). Could she be hiding more than she lets on?
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Then we get Sai in tears. I believe that Nok called her and told her the whole random talk: “We have your mom [and your dad may be dead]. Give us what we want or she dies.” Distraught, Sai starts typing on her phone, maybe calling someone. There are several options to who she may be calling—Her husband, Hin, Ken—but something tells me that she is calling either Din or Lue (and this could work better if they are the same person). Who else would she call in this situation? Definitely not the police, who she knows are corrupt.
BOOM BOOM BABY!
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After Sai, we get a close up of a grenade. Then this shot of an explosion going off followed by the person in the foreground tackling Scarface idon’trememberhisnamei’msorry. After a thorough frame-by-frame analysis of this scene, I heavily believe that this tackler is Lue because the man wears gloves LAS MALDITAS HIJAS DE PUTA. Behind them there’s Din’s mom and I think the other person pushing her away is the wood dealer lady.
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We’re getting to that angry shot with Ken in a moment. After that shot, we get a man in a baklava releasing Din’s mother, they have a brief amount of contact, and he runs away. Din’s mother tries to reach out for him but he gets away. Now, I can’t be 1000% certain, but based on Din’s mom’s reaction, she recognizes this man as her son. That’s why she reaches for him and we see her crying in the next shot. Is this baklava man Tee? I hope so! There are so many I’ve lost count!
Reunion?
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We’ve been kept in touch with how long we’ve got before the 7th of July. The preview reveals that this could be the episode where we get that scene from the trailer, where Ken goes to the bridge and has a vision of Din.
So, many things could happen in the bridge. One of the more likely options is that Ken waits for God knows how long and no one appears, leaving him disheartened. Another option is that he spots baklava man but can’t catch him, or that baklava man is out of his sight and at a distance. Another option? Lue appears instead of Din.
Which leads me to talk about the next scene…
“You! You should stop messing with my life, and get out of my life. Go away!”
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Before I talk about this scene, my writing brain needs to get something off.
This explosion by Ken is a bit frustrating for me. In plots like this, an explosion of this caliber is meant to fracture a relationship. You could see this as the relationship’s big climax before the final battle that the lovers must face together. However, and as several of us have pointed out before, NOTHING HAS CHANGED BETWEEN THESE TWO! Not even after last episode’s bed scene because they haven’t any closer since like ep 4. This could be by design, but it feels extremely disjointed, especially when the main couple hasn’t even kissed. This explosion by Ken would be way more impactful if there had been a shift between Ken and Lue’s relationship—or at least that the shift was better communicated by the plot. (If you want a better maneuvering of this, just look at Tale of 1000 Stars). If these two even progress a little in this episode (unlikely if my theory of chronology ends up right), that would be a shocker. Hell, I’ll probably be celebrating if they kiss harder than with the gloves.
Now that the mini-rants over, let’s look at the scene. Ken is pissed, way more pissed than he’s ever been. Why? I propose 3 reasons.
Ken finds out that Lue is Din. I think this is the least likely because he hasn’t shown any awareness or suspicion about the idea. He only believes that Din is alive, he supposes nothing else. But if this is the case, Ken could be angry because of everything Lue/Din put him through, all the pain and suffering he went through. (Although, based on what we’ve seen, I’d imagine Ken would be happy to see Din no matter in what shape he is in, but that’s just me and I’m not Ken)
Ken finds out that Lue made the deal with the wood lady. If this is the case, obviously he wouldn’t know that this is Lue’s trap for the corrupt officials and Ken wouldn’t give him the space to explain (Forgive him, he’s been choked so many times that the oxygen isn’t reaching his brain properly anymore).
Ken is just tired of Lue’s romantic advances. If there’s one thing we know about Ken is that he cries about Din more than he gets choked in this series. This man hasn’t gotten over his old lover and the chance that he may be alive is not making things better for his brain. So someone else liking him and making moves may be getting on his nerves. And if Lue’s baby is brought up (Ken could find out because of Payu and his Stop-Ken-from-his-Stupidity Gang), that would only make matters worse since Ken could be asking why the fuck Lue’s flirting with him if he has a family.
There may be more reasons, and I’m open to hearing more thoughts.
Lue tries to grab Ken, but shakes him off, then we see the shot where Lue has blood on the corner of his mouth.
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We know this is the same scene because of the suit color and the road. Did Ken punch him? Did someone else?
But now that we’ve gotten that down, I want to bring up that in the last two shots, Ken’s been wearing the same shirt. You know where else he wears that shirt?
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Now I’ll be getting into this scene. So, Ken looks pissed and the lighting on his face suggests he’s looking at flames or something in them. The background and color matches the alleyway where baklava man releases Din’s mother, but I’m not 100% certain. This is all I can figure out from this scene bc there’s not much else to piece out, but now I want to get into chronology.
Ken Chronology
The three scenes where we see Ken wear the same shirt suggest that the scenes are happening within the same day. So, ep 8 may be happening on July 7th if not part of it happening a day earlier. This makes sense because I don’t see Din’s mother’s kidnapping going unnoticed by the plot for an entire day, especially after that cliffhanger.
I’m gonna go on another limb and suggest the episodes chronology based on Ken’s shirt. First, the menacing Din’s mother with shutting up. Then, Ken will go to the bridge and wait for Din. Frustrated for whatever reason, he’ll have the fight with Lue and leave. Lue gets the call from Sai. Then Din’s mother will be rescued and Ken may be present for it, which is why we see the shot with him in front of flames.
That’s all I have. I’ll be wearing this clown mask with pride until the episode airs.
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