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#like we have even been supporting cath on her side projects
somewillwin · 3 years
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You are the only wlw artist I know who has ever been recognized by Pixelberry's team more than once. A lot of wlw players and allies follow your blog. You inspired many wlw players to reach to PB. Your campaigns for Poppy and the emails/posts about Jackie worked wonders for the characters and changed the way the writers were writing their relationships. Could you please help Aurora stans to make some noise on twitter of fb? Any tag or fanart helps.
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Did it really tho??? I feel like the treatment of female LI is worse than ever. And about the poppy thing we won’t actually know if it worked til QB2 comes back.
BUT! Yeah of course I’ll help you guys. If you guys have any base email like the one that we send before??? Like a general email that people can just add their view into? That would be cool. You guys could make one and I can help spread the word and send emails too.
If you guys have any tags you use for this and any ideas for me to do some fanart that would be cool too and my inbox is open.
You guys just need a bit more organization about it. It’s not just sending emails and tagging PB in stuff. It was everyday. I did the poppy challenge for 22 days in a row and other people were participating too, submitting fics or other art or edits or playlist or any content really! But PB probably need to see different people, not just the same 3 people always asking for it.
So yeah I can help! I can make fanart and post it in whatever tag you guys tell me. And I can also spread the word here, on twitter and Reddit.
Oh! Tiny piece of advice. I always see this fandom complaining to the void. stop doing that, if you wanna be heard stop writing your complains in your blog and do something about it. Tag PB, go to their comment section, send DMs, send emails. BOTHER THEM! if you don’t receive answers in any of them, use the suppport thingy in the app where they are forced to answer. Stop complaining to nothing.... (don’t tag Pb here tho, or do, but they never check here)
Also make the writers know you love the character WITHOUT pressuring them.
We made both cath and chelsa known that we loved poppy. We shared memes with them, art, tag them in stuff. Not the same stuff you tag Pb in tho! Like I always did this:
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I tagged Pb with the poppy challenge pressuring THEM.
and then
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I have thanks to chelsa and cath for the content. Also don’t tag the writers in everything cause that would be super rude and bad. Just once in a while on something positive!
And this got long so I’ll end it here. Just send me your stuff to spread the word guys! I’ll 100% help on anything I can.
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her-story6 · 3 years
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“5 times Cathy calls Lina ‘mum’ and 1 time Lina calls Cathy her daughter”
aka, my most recent procrastination project. I promise I’ll get to the other fics, y’all, I swear. Thank you for being so patient.
Note- I don’t usually hc Cathy as calling Lina ‘mum’ but it was fun to explore for one fic.
.
     I
No one could ever figure out how Cathy was always the last one to get sick when a bug went through the house. It was just how it was, every time.
Funnily enough, every time, she would do the same old routine. The others don’t think she noticed the pattern, but it was blatantly obvious to them, and it would be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing.
First, she would try and deny it, but once they made it to the theater, she couldn’t hide it for very long before she was frog marched back home and into bed. From there someone, usually Catalina, would stay by her side for a few days until she had either become less stubborn or more lucid. Either way, she would eventually give in and agree to rest. Finally, she would come back around and pretend like nothing ever happened. 
Honestly, this cycle happened in some form or another for all the Queens, so no one said anything. They all had their own reactions to illness that more or less stemmed from past trauma, and none of them desired to relive anything like that.
The most recent illness was no different.
To no one's surprise, Cathy had been driven home by Catalina between the afternoon and evening performances, and the elder were currently in the process of trying to get her goddaughter into bed without physical injury.
“Look, Cathy, love, just let me help you,” Lina tried again as Cathy just barely caught herself on the kitchen counter instead of tumbling to the floor.
“I got it, Ari,” the sixth Queen huffed, face scrunching in concentration. She was probably trying to sound determined and intimidating, but Catalina would have laughed if she wasn't so exasperated 
“Mija, you barely made it inside without cracking your skull on the ice. I'm begging you, just let me hold your arm when you go up the steps.”
Cathy, who had been taking a short break on a stool, glanced slowly between the aforementioned steps and her godmother, clearly thinking carefully (or as carefully as she could in her half-lucid state) before sighing.
“Fine. But just to get you off my back.” 
“Fair enough, querida.” Catalina smirked before sliding forward and linking arms with the smaller woman. Cathy struggled to stand for a moment, before allowing Lina to lead her to the steps.
The first Queen would have been very worried about her goddaughter’s sudden lack of basic motor skills, except it was already a miracle she had managed to survive one show without passing out. This specific illness had caused even Anna, the most composed of all of them, to slide magnificently down the theater staircase before telling Jane all sorts of embarrassing secrets..
They had all been so tired and so out of it that they had practically blacked out for three days, and with the hazy mind came awkward conversations and hours laying in bed.
By the time they reached the top of two flights of stairs, Catalina was supporting basically all of Cathy’s weight. She regarded this as a good thing, though, as it meant that the girl would put up little fight in going to bed.
“Lina, don't we have a show?” Cathy broke the silence that had formed when they reached her door, rolling her head to look at her godmother.
“Not right now, Cath. It's time for bed.” Catalina noted the shift in tone and adapted accordingly, lowering her tone and slowing her speech.
“It's bedtime?” 
“Exactly, querida,” Catalina chuckled. “Do you want to change clothes?” 
Cathy let out a long, almost dramatic groan as she glanced between the dresser and the bed, before shaking her head.
“No. I wanna sleep.”
“Alright, then. Come on.” 
The older woman led Cathy to the bed and helped her get situated under the covers. While she burrowed deeply so was barely distinguishable under the blankets, Catalina turned to close the curtains and set down the water bottle she had slipped under her arm on the way up here.
After said tasks were done, she sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over to brush a lock of hair out of her goddaughter’s eyes. 
“Sweet dreams, mi hija. I'll be right downstairs if you need me.”
“Mhmmm” Cathy hummed in acknowledgment, pushing slightly into the touch as she shifted in bed. Catalina smiled softly at her for a moment, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“I love you, mi hermosa hija,” she whispered softly as she rose from the bed and walked towards the door. Just as she was about to slip through it, though, a quiet mutter from Cathy stopped her dead in her tracks.
“Love you too, mum.”
     II
Catalina didn't mention that night to anyone.
She didn't mention how her heart skipped a beat, and then she couldn’t stop smiling all night.
She didn’t tell the other Queens of the slip-up, because she could imagine their amused and slightly concerned expressions now. 
She most certainly didn’t say anything to Cathy, because honestly- she didn’t want to know whether she meant it or not, or if she would be ashamed or proud, or if she truly felt that way.
As such, the first Queen tried her best to continue life as normal. Pushing the incident to the back of her mind, she was almost able to act completely normal around her goddaughter again. 
Until, of course, she said something that was arguably even more heart-stopping.
“Querida, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s very reasonable,” Catalina tried to reason as the two faced off in the kitchen. The other four were lounging in the living room and trying very hard to not be seen listening in.
“Come on, Catty, just think about it, I mean-”
“No, Cathy. That’s just not realistic. I’m sorry, love.”
“But, madrina-” the sixth Queen whined, leaning dramatically over the counter. Catalina, who had been digging around in the fridge for ingredients (as Cathy had interrupted her while she was fixing dinner), turned around much faster than she meant to and stared at her goddaughter open-mouthed.
“What did you just say?”
“I- oh, I’m so sorry,” Cathy began to stutter as she sat back and looked down, “I didn’t mean, I mean, I did, but if you’re not alright with it, then I’ll never say it again, of course, I’m sorry, I-” 
“No!” Catalina exclaimed, then immediately composed herself. “No, it’s fine. It’s great actually.” 
“Really?” 
“Yes, of course. It’s only fair, if I call you hija then why can’t you call me madrina?” Catalina smiled, reaching across the counter to squeeze Cathy’s arm gently. The younger woman gave her a hesitant smile, then nodded.
“Alright, good.”
“Good,” Catalina echoed. She watched her goddaughter for a few more moments, pretending not to feel Jane’s amused gaze on them, then took a step back. “The answer’s still no, though, mija.”
“Ughhhhhhh,” Cathy groaned dramatically, lowering her forehead onto the counter. “Fiinneeee”
Catalina could do nothing but chuckle.
          III
It had been a few weeks and Catalina was just about used to hearing the word ‘madrina’ from her goddaughter’s mouth and every time, she couldn’t help but beam. The proud look on Cathy’s face when she noticed was almost enough to give her a heart attack.
What really did give her a heart attack, though, was when she received a call from the hospital, telling her that Cathy had been in an accident.
This certainly wasn’t the first time one of them had ended up in an ambulance. 
Anne, of course, had taken multiple trips, but there was also the time Jane sprained her wrist and when Anna had taken a wrong step on her morning jog and ended up in an ankle cast for the next two months. 
As such, after the doctors assured her that Cathy was all fine and they just needed someone to pick her up because the car was not drivable, the panic wore off and she was more relieved than worried. 
When she arrived at the hospital, the nurses led her outside a sitting room where she could see Cathy sitting, holding her purse close to her chest and bouncing her leg restlessly. The nurse peaked her head into the room, gesturing for Lina to stay put, and said- 
“Catherine, your mother’s here to pick you up. You have all the forms settled, so you’re free to go.”
Before Catalina could say anything, the nurse disappeared around a corner as Cathy slipped through the door.  
“Heyyyy,” Cathy started, shifting her purse so it was over her shoulder and looking up at her godmother. “Sorry about that, they didn’t seem to like my idea of just getting a taxi home.”
Catalina was relieved to see that Cathy was more embarrassed than nervous, so she decided to ignore the elephant in the room as the two started walking to the exit.
“No problem, mija. I’m just glad you’re alright.”
“Yeah, me too,” she chuckled. “It wasn’t my fault, by the way. The other guy took full responsibility and his insurance will pay for everything.” 
“That’s good.” Catalina nodded, holding the door open as they went outside. Cathy shivered slightly against the nipping wind, but said nothing else on the walk to the car. 
Once they were back on the road, though, Catalina grew tired of the awkward silence.
“So,” she started, and out of her peripherals she could see Cathy shift, “mother, huh?” Catalina tried to keep her tone light and amused, and was grateful when her goddaughter let out a soft chuckle. 
“Yeah, sorry about that. It was all so rushed and I didn’t want to make it more complicated than it had to be by explaining our relationship. They wouldn’t even let me call you.” 
“No worries, I was just wondering. Our relationship is pretty hard to explain.”
“You can say that again,” Cathy agreed, and the two laughed as the conversation easily shifted to a more lighthearted topic.
           IV
“Oh, come on Catherine! Do you really have to be so uptight all the time?”
The room suddenly became silent at Cathy’s outburst, all heads, which had previously been focused on a heated argument between Anne and Catalina, turning to the sixth Queen. Cathy took this as permission to continue.
“I’m sorry, but you really need to lighten up some times! Anne just wants to go out with Kat and I for a night, what’s the big deal?”
Catalina was taken aback, unaware that her goddaughter was even involved in the issue, but didn’t back down.
“The big deal is that it’s not safe. I’m not letting you stay out all night in the middle of winter, especially with the roads like they are. We are already down one vehicle, we can’t lose the other one too.” The first Queen tried to keep her voice even, but the look of anger in Cathy’s eyes caused her to waver on the last few words. 
“Why do you even get a say? We’re all adults in this situation and it’s really none of your business,” Cathy countered. Anne had taken a step back and was now more of a spectator than a participant. Arguments between Cathy and Lina were rare, and when it happened, they all knew not to get involved.
“First of all because it’s my name on the car registration,” Lina started, quickly losing patience. “Secondly because I don’t want any of you getting hurt when I can stop it.” 
“You wouldn’t stop Anna or Jane from going!” Cathy exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s just because you don’t trust us.”
“That is not true at all and you know it, Catherine Parr.” Catalina’s voice had lowered dangerously, and Anna and Kitty took an actual step back.
“Do I?! How would you know how I think?”
“You need to calm down. It’s been a long week and we all need a break,” Catalina once again tried to reason calmly, having caught herself before she could make the conversation spiral further. 
“Come on, mom! You can’t control us forever.” 
“I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but I think you should-,” Catalina stopped dead when her brain registered what Cathy had said. “Wait, what?!”
“I-” Cathy’s voice suddenly returned to its normal pitch as she came to the same realization. The room was frozen for a solid minute, all eyes back on Cathy, as her eyes grew wide and her face contorted in confusion. “Whatever.” She finally scoffed, then immediately disappeared up the steps.
Catalina watched after her, mouth wide open and blinking comically. Only the sudden cackling laughter from Jane brought her out of a stupor.
“Oh my god!” Jane said through laughter. “That was beautiful.”
“Jane-” Anna warned, but there was a clear amused smirk on her face as well. 
 “You all heard that too, right?” Catalina turned to them, still reeling. 
“Oh, yeah!” Jane beamed widely, reaching forward to pat her friend’s arm. “Good luck with that, love.” 
 “Oh, thanks,” Catalina said sarcastically, rolling her eyes even as she tried to process the last few minutes. 
 “So.....” Anne interjected after a few moments of silence, the word clearly a question. 
“No, Anne,” Jane answered her question before it could be asked. “It was a stupid idea in the first place and I think Cathy’s out for the night anyway.” Catalina sent the third Queen a grateful look for taking the question.
“Ughhhh, fine,” Anne huffed dramatically. “It’s probably for the better anyway. Now Kit and I can finish our movie marathon.”
It was quite a statement on Catalina’s mental state when she said nothing to try and discourage the cousins from pulling (another) all-nighter, and the two took the momentary lapse to disappear up the steps. This hesitation was also noticed by Jane and Anna, who glanced at each other in concern. 
“You alright, Lina?” 
“I-” she started, then paused and leaned back against the fridge with a sigh, “This is going to be a really awkward conversation, isn’t it?”
Jane chuckled softly, nodding. “Yeah, probably. Kitty called me ‘mum’ once and she didn’t look me in the eye again for a week.” 
“That’s just the thing, though. This isn’t the first time.”
“It isn’t?” Anna joined in the conversation now, sliding onto a stool across from the other two women.
“I mean, we all know she calls me ‘madrina’, which is different, but still. But she was really sick one night and right before she fell asleep, she, uh... she said ‘love you too mum’” 
“Awwwww” Jane cooed, smiling cheekily. 
 “Not helpful, Jane,” Catalina bit back, without any real force behind it.
“Sorry, sorry, I know. But seriously, do you have a problem with it?”
“No! I mean, I don’t want to make it a normal thing, obviously, but it’s nice to know that she thinks of me like that.”
“Then what’s the issue?” Anna asked, leaning her chin her hand and tilting her head.
“I just don’t want her to feel weird about it. We’ve had.... conversations. About her mother and my Mary and not replacing them and the like, and I just.... I don’t know, it just feels weird.”
“That makes sense. I suggest you let it rest for now. Wait for her to come to you, maybe.”  
“You’re right, Jane, I know,” Catalina shook her head, sighing once more. “There’s nothing I can do for now. Thank you, ladies.”
“No problem, Ari.” Anna smiled, and Jane nodded in agreement. “Go get some sleep.”
“That’s exactly the plan. Maybe I’ll stop by Anne’s room on the way and apologize. Good night, Queens.” Catalina nodded politely at them, then slipped up the stairs. 
“Good night,” they echoed, sending each other one last amused look before carrying on with their nightly routine. 
          V
It had been two days, and Catalina was trying her best to be patient, but Cathy had yet to initiate any conversation with her, let alone one about the topic that was very clearly weighing heavily on both of their minds.
It was painfully clear that they were avoiding each other, and based on Jane’s annoyed sighs and Anna’s pointed glances, the others had noticed as well.
Eventually, though, to everyone’s surprise, it was Cathy who broke the silence.
“Lina, can you help me fix dinner?”
Alright, so it wasn’t what she was hoping to hear, but at least it was something. Catalina, of course, accepted immediately and the two soon found themselves alone in the kitchen, once again surrounded by an uncomfortable silence.
It wasn’t until the meal was in the oven that the first Queen decided enough was enough.
“Cathy, I think we need to-” Catalina started, setting down the bowl she had been washing.
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Ari. Can’t we just pretend it never happened? Please?” 
The sincerity in her goddaughter's voice almost caused Catalina to give in, but she shook her head and stood her ground.
“You know we can’t, querida. Let’s just get it over with, huh?”
Cathy looked ready to object, but after a quick internal battle, she sighed and nodded, turning the faucet off and jumping up on the counter. Catalina watched her carefully, then followed suit, setting down her washcloth and leaning against the fridge.
“First of all,” Cathy started, shifting so her feet were tucked under her. Lina held back a comment about dirty shoes on the counter as her goddaughter composed her thoughts. “I just wanted to apologize for the argument in the first place. It was stupid and I didn’t mean anything that I said.”
Catalina nodded slowly, mulling over her words, before asking simply- “Anything?”  
Cathy hesitated, knowing exactly what she was referring to. “I-,” she paused, swallowing hard. “I honestly don’t know. I was worried at first that you would be uncomfortable, that I had crossed a boundary, and of course I don’t plan on... on calling you that on a regular basis or anything, but....... I dunno.”
Catalina nodded once more, then allowed herself to hesitate, set on thinking out her thoughts before saying them.
“I completely understand. As we’re being honest, I also have to say that I could not tell you all my feelings about it. I think- I think that if it became a habit, I might not be very comfortable with that, but I would never be upset about a slip-up. And every so often, if it comes out... less on accident, I don’t think I would protest too hard.”
“No, yeah, I get it.” Cathy nodded, visibly relaxing as the tension seeped away. “What had me so confused was the difference between ‘madrina’ and ‘mom’. Two completely different connotations, but I have no way of putting the specifics in words.”
“Yeah! Yeah, that was exactly what I was thinking.” Catalina nodded, a smile forming on her face. “It’s actually really nice, to know that you see me like that, because I completely reciprocate that feeling. It’s very clearly not a traditional relationship, but we don’t have to explain it to anyone else if we don’t want to.”
“The word ‘traditional’ doesn’t apply to anything in this house, it seems,” Cathy joked, and then smirked slightly. “You know, that wasn’t the first time I had made that mistake.”
“Oh, I know,” said Catalina simply. Cathy seemed surprised for only a moment before she just shook her head and chuckled softly. 
“So we’re good?”
“Of course, mija.” Catalina nodded, reaching to squeeze her goddaughter’s leg. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring this up earlier. I was just nervous you would say something I didn’t want to hear.”
“Oh, me too. But I’m glad we got it all sorted.”
The two stared at each other for a few more moments, just smiling and allowing themselves to appreciate the moment. 
‘The moment’, however, was cut off with a shrill beep from the stove, which caused Catalina to jump and bump her side on the fridge handle. 
“Ow!” 
“Oh, careful, madrina.” Cathy smiled cheekily, “Don’t want to break those fragile old bones of yours.”
“I’ll have you know, mija,” Catalina retorted, as they both set to work on taking out the pans and setting them out on the counter, “These bones are barely a year old. I think I’ll be fine.”
“If anything, that’s more concerning! These bones materialized out of thin air!”
“Oh, please querida, don’t give me an existential crisis right now, I can’t handle it.”
“Your old lady brain struggling to keep up?” Cathy asked, barely containing a laugh.
“Why, you-!”
And when the others came down to the duo ignoring the still beeping oven as they bickered, they didn’t say anything, too relieved to see that they were speaking again. 
          +I
The Queens didn’t go out to bars together very much anymore, after numerous bad experiences their first few months, but every so often, when a large celebration was in order, they made an exception for Anne and allowed the second Queen to bring them around to her favorite establishments.  
By this point in the night, there had already been multiple counts of harassment amongst the six of them, and no one was really reacting anymore. Even Lina, who was above only Cathy in the ‘most likely to get catcalled’ list, had been forced to get a little snippy when a man wouldn’t leave her alone.
Cathy, of course, was blissfully unaware of most of this.
The others had tried to explain to her multiple times why she wasn’t harassed nearly as much as the others. 
(‘It’s because you look like a twelve year old’ Anne had suggested, and then Anna had shaken her head and said ‘No, it’s just because you look like you would kill anyone who touched you. That’s a compliment, by the way’.)
That wasn’t to say she was completely unharmed, for she had of course had her fair share of bad experiences. They were just rarer.
This, apparently, was just one of those nights, though, because as Catalina made her way back from the bathroom at their most recent (and final, accordion to Jane) bar, she just barely caught her goddaughter’s curly hair peeking out from behind a large muscular man leaning over her on the other side of the room. 
Immediately, the first Queen changed her route and pushed through the throng, trying to gauge the situation before interrupting. As she grew closer, she began to catch snippets of their conversation.
“Come on, beautiful,” the man sneered, leaning cockily against the wall and effectively cutting off Cathy’s escape route.
“I already said no, I’m sorry,” Cathy responded, much calmer than Lina had worried. “Look, I just want to go back to my friends, please.”
Something in the man’s expression changed, and Catalina had no desire to see what happened next (it could have been fine, but she wasn’t going to take that chance) so she sped up and covered the last remaining ground in seconds, before sliding seamlessly between her goddaughter and the man.
“Kindly leave my daughter alone, sir,” Catalina tried to be as civil as possible, crossing her arms and drawing herself up to her full height.
“Your daughter?” the man questioned, scoffing slightly. He leaned around Lina to peer at Cathy. “You come to bars with your mom?”
“Actually I come to bars with my daughter, but that’s really none of your business. Please just leave her alone.”
He looked ready to argue, but with one raised eyebrow from Lina, he decided it wasn’t worth it and turned on his heel, walking away while muttering something under his breath.
“Thank you, but I really didn’t need your help. It was more amusing than anything.” Cathy rolled her eyes, stepping out and following her godmother through the crowd back to their table. 
“I know, I just thought it was better to be safe than sorry.” 
“Fair enough.” Cathy nodded, then hesitated. “‘Your daughter’, huh?” 
Catalina let out a barking laugh, then cocked her head in thought, pulling Cathy to a stop. Cathy tilted her head in curiosity, glancing back at her godmother. Finally, Catalina simply nodded and said, now completely serious-  
“You heard me.”
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dustedmagazine · 3 years
Text
Listed: Nick Jonah Davis
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Photo Credit: Andy Joskowski
Nick Jonah Davis lives in Derbyshire, England, which is a place where evidence of older editions of England is always easy to find. Successive eras likewise coincide in his music. Davis plays acoustic and electric guitars, drawing on both American and English folk and instrumental traditions. He has worked with like-minded folk, such as C. Joynes and Sharron Kraus, and is also an established guitar teacher and provider of therapeutic musical interventions. He’s been recording the occasional solo record since 2009, and in 2016, Dusted’s Bill Meyer had this to say about House of Dragons: “the Nottingham-based guitarist isn’t living in bifurcations of the past, and he isn’t asking us to either. Rather, he invites the listener into a world bounded by the resonance of his tunings and the vividness of his evolving melodies.” Thread Recordings is about to release a swell new LP, When the Sun Came, and Davis has compiled a list of sounds made by some of his favorite associates.
Even for solo guitarists, music is a collaborative, social thing. For this list I’ve picked some music by artists that I’ve collaborated, recorded or gigged with over the last decade or so. Members of the NJD home team.
Kogumaza — “Ursids”
WAAT048 Split 7" w/Hookworms by Kogumaza
When I lived in Nottingham, Kogumaza were my favorite band in town. They play deep, droning riff-based cosmic guitar music which draws on their backgrounds playing with local heroes like Lords, Rattle and Bob Tilton. They’ve also done their homework, having sat in with heavy hitters like Glenn Branca, Damo Suzuki and Boredoms. This tune was recorded in Nottingham, with Nathan Bell of Lungfish sitting in on bass. I was the assistant engineer on this session, and remember getting a pleasing headful of Katy Brown’s kick drum as we set up the mics. Mind-manifesting stuff.
Ex-Easter Island Head — “Large Electric Ensemble Third Movement”
Large Electric Ensemble by Ex-Easter Island Head
Liverpool’s Ex-Easter Island Head are a revelation. They repurpose electric guitars through a variety of extended techniques, with unprecedented, nourishing results. I was lucky enough to play a couple of shows as a member of their Large Electric Ensemble, a 12-guitar band powered by 1 drummer and multiple Arts Council pizzas. I learned a lot from them in terms of playing guitar with craftily-deployed allen keys and bolts. Living proof that people can and do make genuinely beautiful, ground-breaking music without being all precious and up themselves about it. Good lads.
C Joynes and the Furlong Bray — “Sang Kancil”
The Borametz Tree by C Joynes & The Furlong Bray
Joynes and I have been fellow travelers in the solo guitar realm for many years now. We’ve probably seen more of each other’s gigs than anyone else alive. I was really pleased to be invited into the making of the Borametz Tree album. Not exactly sure how you’d describe my role on that project, but it involved some bass playing, some refereeing and, in the case of this piece, heading into my cellar with Nathan Mann to process some sounds through my echo units. I really love this bizarre, swirling piece of music. It defies description and I really can’t see how it could have happened under any circumstances. Power to the Furlong Bray.
Jim Ghedi — “Bramley Moor”
A Hymn For Ancient Land by Jim Ghedi
Jim popped up a few years ago, around the same time as Toby Hay, and has been a sure source of decent sounds ever since. Jim’s initial, masterful solo guitar work has bloomed out into an exploration of both traditional folk and his own songwriting. Having sat right next to him when we played together in my village a couple of years ago, I can confirm that he has a huge, resonant chest voice. Luckily, he always commits to his guitar just as fully, as you can hear on this jaunty instrumental on which I played some weissenborn. Nathan Mann pops up again playing percussion on this one, small world…
Cath and Phil Tyler — “King Henry”
The Ox and the Ax by Cath and Phil Tyler
I first met Cath and Phil at the legendary Sin Eater festival, a 3-day weekend of fine underground music and excellent ale at an isolated pub in Shropshire. Almost everyone on this list played there actually. This is folk music as it should be played, plain and flinty with a complete focus on the song. Understatement goes a long way in this music and, I suspect because of this, Phil is one of the most criminally under-rated guitarists around. There’s a little part of me that lives for Cath’s jaw harp break at the end of this one.
Toby Hay — “Now in a Minute”
New Music For The 12 String Guitar by Toby Hay
Toby has a special place in my heart for lining me up an annual show in a cafe at the wonderful Green Man festival for the past several years, meaning my family could go for free. Here’s a near-perfect example of a miniature acoustic study from his album New Music for the 12 String Guitar. The guitar in question was custom-built for Toby by Roger Bucknall of Fylde guitars. Fylde put out the word that a label was looking for a young guitarist to make a record on a custom-built Fylde that they would commission, and I immediately suggested Toby. He rose to the occasion. Reckon he owes me a handmade guitar though; I’ll give him a nudge one of these days.
The Horse Loom — “Silver Ribbon”
The Horse Loom by The Horse Loom
Steve Malley played in post-punk bands back in the day, gigging alongside the likes of Fugazi. He later picked up a Fylde guitar and went down an acoustic rabbit hole where his love of British folk and flamenco come to the fore. The DIY-or-die roots of his playing flash an occasional fin. After we met I persuaded him to come down to Nottingham and let me record his first album in First Love studio. He did the whole thing in a day and it’s awesome. This is my favorite instrumental from that collection.
Sharron Kraus — “Sorrow’s Arrow”
Joy's Reflection is Sorrow by Sharron Kraus
I started playing shows with Sharron as we were both UK artists on the Tompkins Square label at the time, so it kind of made sense. She’s a bit of an institution in psych-folk circles and eventually I began playing on her records and at live shows, which has been a real joy. This tune features some heavy drones and an occasional splish of my lap steel. It’s classic Kraus — mournful, insightful, immersive. If you want to hear someone with a bigger brain than yours talking about the weirder side of life, check out her Preternatural Investigations podcast.
Haress — “Wind the Bobbin”
Haress by HARESS
Haress is centered around the twin electric guitar work of Liz Still and David Hand. Located in downright gorgeous rural Shropshire, they ran the Sin Eater Festival and still put out essential music on Lancashire and Somerset Records. I reckon they’ve helped me out more than anyone over the years, releasing House of Dragons on vinyl and always setting me up a show when I need one. This gorgeous piece features Nathan Bell again, this time on trumpet. Those Nathans do get around.
Burd Ellen — “Chi-Mi-Bhuam”
Chi Mi Bhuam by Burd Ellen
I first saw Debbie Armour singing with Alasdair Roberts, a good start. When I went up to play in Glasgow in 2018, I asked if she’d like to open up my show at the Glad Café, which she did, alone except for a borrowed harmonium. I was mesmerized, I think everyone was. Too good for a support slot. Here’s a Gaelic vocal piece which demonstrates exactly who we’re dealing with here, a profoundly talented and committed artist with a lifelong immersion in traditional music, using it as a springboard into something entirely her own.
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darklingichor · 4 years
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Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell Ramble Fest Part 5. *Spoilers*
Day 5: finished it. Okay, lots of things. Rowell's writing is absolutely addictive, I would have finished it faster if it weren't for my job and bills and stuff. Stupid responsiblites keeping me from reading.
I think I'll take each plot thread and follow it to the end.
With Levi, I sort of expected him to be Reagan’s brother, possibly twin (just by the way she reacted to the identical twin thing). Anyway, what college class allows you to read and test on The Outsiders? Can I borrow anyone’s time machine and go take it? I literally (and I actually mean literally) read that book twenty times in a row when I was fifteen. I wrung every bit of context, subtext, and not-even-in-the-text out of it. I felt like I knew Johnny and Ponyboy better than I knew some of my own family members. My best friend and I also took turns reading it out loud to each other (we did this with a lot of books, actually). I could have taken that test in about five minutes and would have been the easiest A I ever got!
Anyway, can I just say that I love the fact that Cath sees audio books as reading? Some people don’t and it annoys me to no end.
So I do like the Cath/Levi pairing, but what is it about romance in fiction? One half of the pairing doesn’t answer texts so the other half makes out with someone else? Does this happen in real life? I’m aro ace, this is completely foreign to me. I mean, I understand the concept of demiromantic and demisexual. Someone you feel connected with makes you want to do the romance or  physical thing with them. But then you wouldn’t just kiss someone else because you didn’t hear from the special someone for a couple of hours, right? How does that connection happen in the brain? Not judging just wondering about something that makes no sense to me, personally.
It was sort of interesting how the relationship progressed. I get why she was so reluctant to really go there. Cath is the embodiment of fool me once, you will not get a twice.
I like that Levi really is a nice guy. Not a guy who plays nice and then expects something because of it. He legitimately felt horrible for the kiss with the other girl.
Also often, in the stuff I watched growing up, the love interest had to "look past" the geeky stuff that the main character liked. It is cool that Levi likes Cath for everything that she is, including the stuff that Wren tries to downplay. Same goes for Cath liking Levi. Niether one of them change to make themselves "better" for the other. That seems more real to me.
I like the slight struggle they had with Reagan being Levi's ex and how they all moved passed it. The only thing I can't figure out of I like is how once the relationship solidified, Cath's anxiety seems to have, if not disappeared, then greatly reduced.
I can't figure out if that's because she had more in the way of support in the form of Wren, Levi, and Reagan, more confidence because of the reactions she got to both forms of her writting, less stress because her dad had more support from her grandmother, and all of the other things that came together for her... Or the "Got boy now, what is mental illness?" Trope.
I would say it's the former because it would make sense, but we spend so much time in Cath's head and see her struggle and overcome, in the little daily battles that are always there even with changes made in the form of healthy coping mechinisms, medication or counseling. And suddenly it just drops away... I don't know, that bugged me.
Speaking of struggles
Arthur’s episode was handled really well, and I’m completely on Cath’s side. Family comes first. I don’t care if they are uncouncious, I wouldn’t be able to consentrate on a final if a close family member were in the hospital and I wasn’t there.
The part of my brain ruled by the anxiety goblin completely agrees with Cath wanting to leave the school. The part of me that is closer related to the turtle than it should be. “This is scary, uncomfortable, painful, ect. Time to hide.”
The more reasonable part sort of agrees with her when she said she didn’t choose the school, Wren did. Why stay at a school that you didn’t want to attend in the first place? I also understand the logic behind wanting to stay home to take care of her dad. Is ot the eighteen year old kid's job to take care of the parent? Not really, but what do you do when someone you love needs help?
The more rational part also says: You have a scholarship? Stay put, kid, loans blow!
During this whole thing? Wren is still a dick. The You and dad are crazy because you let yourselves be crazy argument...
"Got a broken leg? Walk it of wussy!"
Now, is that to say that Cath's way of letting her anxiety cope with her rather than the other way around is right?
No.
But it's a lot more complicated than "Just don't let it bother you." Bitch, if she could do that she wouldn't have anxiety now would she?
I don't know a lot about bipolar but I know enough to say with confidence, that just willing the chemicals in your brain to behave is not going to cut it.
So Wren's alcohol poisoning. Can I say that I loved how it was handled? The writing got around every tired thing that can happen coming out 0f a plot element like that.
Wren and Cath did reconcile, but Cath didn't cut her a lot of slack and was matter of fact about how stupid Wren's behavior had been. Her dad didn't do the whole "I'm just glad you're okay" thing, he laid down the law. One of my favorite lines from Arthur was when he told Wren that she had to go to AA meetings.
"I'm not an alcoholic."
"Good. It's not contagious. You're going to meetings.”
I honestly wouldn't mind a story from Wren's perective over the course of this year. It would be interesting to see her partying, her relationship with her boyfriend and her thought process while she let some of her personality blaze through while hiding others.
After she and Cath make up it becomes clear that she thought that she couldn't go to parties, make new friends, have new experiences and be close with her sister and still openly love nerdy things.
Professor Piper, writing, Laura, and Simon Snow.
I get the feeling that Professor Piper is suppose to be subverting the Mary Sue stereotype. When Cath first starts the class she is in awe of this teacher. Piper is wise, talented and compassionate. She's perfect. So when she first talks down fan ficton, I thought, well if the story were to follow the Mary Sue, Cath would "realize" her folly and abandon Carry On, Simon. I knew that wasn't going to happen.
The more she bad mouths fan fiction, the more she just... Acts like nothing touches her, I thought: She's the Mary Sue... But she's almost the villain (and almost is important here because she doesn't continue down that path). I mean, she can do whatever she wants with her students' grades? What university is this? Professors have to get their grades submitted by a deadline. She couldn't hold Cath's grade just cause she felt like it. She'd have to submit an incomplete and I'm pretty sure that it would have to be made up long before it actually was.
She calls fan fic "Stillborn" as if the only ultimate reason to write is to make a living off of it, that was bitchy. She likely would have been surprised that a good number of her students probably dabble in it, because I haven't met many people who write (post Harry Potter) who didn't read some fanfic, if not write it, and that's just one fandom Yes, it is a wonderful thing to make your living doing something you love,  However, Cath is also right, you can write like some people knit or scrapbook. You can do something you love simply for the love of it.
Further more and most importantly, no writting is "stillborn" you put effort into it, it lives, if only for you.
Now, Cath is trying to not write her final project because she's scared, she's afraid that she doesn't have it in her to do with her own characters what she does so well with Baz and Simon. That doean't mean her reasoning isn't sound, it's just not sound for her.
Nick... I don't have a lot to say about Nick. I knew he was going to end up being a tool, and he was.
Same goes for the Laura thing. I agree with Cath, you don't get to walk out of being a parent and walk back in to be a fair weather friend.
Simon Snow. As a framing device first the "original" books and then Carry On, Simon was very effective. I had a hard time listening to many of them though because of the narration. Don't know why they had the narrator switch when we were in Cath's story.
Having read Carry On before Fangirl, it was interesting to see the differences between the stories. And it simaltiously gave and took away hope for the Anyway the Wind Blows.
That fantastic part where Wren tells Cath that she can't kill off Baz, that she'd always said that Baz deserved a happy ending because of everything canon and all the fics they'd written and read, had put him through.
I thought: That bodes well for Baz in the next one.
But Wren also says that Cath has to give him a happy ending because Gemma T. Leslie never will.
Then I thought: Well shit, that doesn't, does it?
And all of this means nothing, really. Carry On and Wayward Son exist outside both this book and the fictional series...
Gah! This universe is like a Russian nesting doll crossed with a rublix cube!
The little bits we get of Cath's final project were lovely, and yes, painful. Writing something personal is painful but, but cathartic a lot of the time.
I had a lot of emotions reading this book and while I like Carry On more, I think Fangirl is fantasic. Just from the two books I've read, Rainbow Rowell's speciality is to take expectations and expertly either defy them or bring them to fuition in a way that is more satisfying than what the reader might be expecting. This means I might break from my escapist reading trend a bit more often.
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everylittlechef · 7 years
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Tired & Inspired : Day Two
Day Two: Monday 31st July 2017.
I did all of the driving on this days voyage, so Owen could be ready with his camera to jump out and photograph the Little Chefs. The new system was much more efficient. We started the day with tired crumpet faces and without breakfast but safe in the knowledge the first Little Chef stop was just seven minutes away…
Eleventh Stop: A1 Grantham (stand alone)
We arrived to the second Grantham Little Chef stand alone wooden lodge style diner just before 9am. It was a seven minute drive from the Travelodge combined Little Chef we stopped at the previous night and we were planning to get our Olympic Breakfast there but sadly we were too late.
We spent much of Sunday speculating if Debbie was right and if thirty Little Chefs really were closing overnight as so many we visited didn’t seem certain this was the case, but sadly Monday morning confirmed Debbie’s speculation. We were greeted in the car park by a friendly bearded Burger King employee come Little Chef enthusiast who immediately took interested in our van and project. He was stood by a heaving pile of Little Chef chairs, dustbins and crockery stock taking them before lifting them into a van. Owen photographed the building and piles of debris and Mary the store manager for over thirty five years came outside in the Charlie mascot head to have her photograph taken. This is the first time I’ve seen ‘Charlie’ since the 1990’s and my fear of masks and mascots is certainly still there. We left the store safe in the knowledge that all the staff still had jobs in the new Starbucks opening in eight weeks time and feeling like we’d provided some sort of gratitude documentation to Mary’s thirty five years in service to the Little Chef. She said ‘It’s a sad time, don’t get me wrong there are bad little chefs out there but we weren’t one. We looked after the regulars, we were clean, worked hard and had a laugh. I’ll never be able to drive past here again and feel the same. It is sad.’
Twelfth Stop: A16/17 Spalding
We were excited and hungry about getting our breakfast in Spalding having missed it in Grantham. It was a truck stop joined to a Burger King with parking for large vehicles. Our van looked tiny in the car park. It felt like the Little Chef was used by truckers as well as locals. Only when we arrived there was a hand written notice on the door that read ‘Due to an electricity fault we are running from a limited menu’. We couldn’t believe our bad luck. Adam - a Little Chef employee and enthusiast for the company asked if Owen was a bird watcher with his camera. We told him about our project and he was quite touched. He speculated, with tears in his eyes about the closure of their own branch, unaware what the future is but said it’s likely to become a Starbucks/Greggs combo. Adam said they had been trying to contact Head Office about the electricity for weeks as they weren’t able to run the grill, order new foods and had only a very limited menu they could serve. A family before us were turned away and we soon moved on hungry to find the next Little Chef that could serve us an Olympic breakfast, leaving behind six employees to await the next punters politely showing them the limited menu they were able to serve.
Thirteenth Stop: A47 Peterborough
Finally, breakfast! I had a veggie Early Riser: fried egg, beans, veggie sausage, sauté potatoes, grilled tomatoes and fried bread and Owen had the huge Veggie Olympic Breakfast - quite similar but double in size with extra fried beige items like hash browns and mushrooms. We washed them down with frothy coffees and an extra take away Cappuccino for the road. It was actually delicious and looked just like the website image of the re-branded breakfast. Before entering the branch a smiling waitress ran out to Owen with a 7-8 year old child’s ‘Little Chef’ t-shirt and insisted he take it as he must be a fan. Over breakfast we told her about our project and signs on the Little Chef window showed they knew they were closing, soon so were only stocking breakfast items, not the full menu. The staff know the store is going to be a Starbucks but have no idea of time scale until Head Office turn up. It could be in two weeks or six months they said. We felt full and happy to have eaten and chatted with nice people. Onwards!
Fourteenth Stop: SW Peterborough
This branch looked like a stand alone Little Chef with the traditional wooden lodge/American diner style decor but was actually adjoined to a Burger King. We quickly took the snaps. As we drove off we realised the Little Chef sign had a faded from red to a pink colour and read ‘Little Chef are recruiting now!’ which must have been on the grassy bank for many years.
Fifteenth Stop: Thrapston
This service station felt like it belonged on a motorway. It was huge with a travel lodge and Burger King adjoined. The car park here was full and it felt busy. Lots of cars here were behaving weirdly, and packed full of holiday makers.
There was lots on traffic en route. We passed an enormous Cath Kinston depot.
Sixteenth Stop: A1 meets A421 Bedford
A family of two grandparents, a mother and two small children met at this Little Chef for lunch and went in. Owen said the restaurant was busy and as we were filling for fuel he said “It’s posh inside that one was.”
Seventeenth Stop: A421 Bedford
By now we had experienced lots of bad drivers undertaking us on the A roads and eager to get to their holiday destination at any cost. Owen go out to take the photo. It seemed to take a while to get the angle correct and then he said ‘It didn’t look brilliant but alright inside’.
Eighteenth Stop: A435 meets A5 Towcester
By now we were ploughing through the Little Chefs and we were starting to get a bit delirious. The weather was quite warm and we were constantly going back on ourselves to get onto the right side of the A roads. We both started picking up American accents and were speaking as if we were storm chasers following the hot trail of Little Chef restaurants. We passed lots of buildings attempting to blend in with the skyline; such as River Island & Barr Soft Drinks with blue stripy warehouse building exteriors and a huge Morrissons with a green and yellow stripy warehouse depot. By the time we reached the Little Chef it was a stand alone and wasn’t open. It wasn’t easy to photograph but had the old fashioned classic LC interior. we wondered if this was another stand alone that closed for good just the evening before? Next to but not adjoined was a Travel Lodge. I noticed a man waiting near the fire exit with a room key and shortly afterwards a much younger lady pulled into the car park in a Mercedes and ran out to meet him. The pair ducked inside the Travel Lodge together for their meeting. Just a little observation of A road activity I thought good enough to note.
Nineteenth Stop: A41 Bicester
This small ran down Little Chef adjoined another Burger King.
Twentieth Stop: A40/A361 Butford
We were tired by this point and needed to stop for a drink and to stretch our legs. The next Little Chef was quite a surprise. It was in a listed 16th Century barn conversion and had gold lettering for ‘Little Chef’ on the exterior. From the outside it looked amazing. Inside it did feel a little stuck in the past, the tables were empty and dusty but the building itself was pretty amazing. No-one else was inside the massive congregational space of the Little Chef cathedral. Not a good sign but we ordered our hot drinks and chatted to the staff; only two were on… “you won’t find another Little Chef like this one” the older chap said. The younger lad was curious about our project and was asking us lots of questions. They both seemed relatively blarzay about the branch turning to a Starbucks and maybe even a little excited about the training in Gloucester and the lack of cooking hot food because in their words “it’s all grab and go these days.”
Twenty First Stop: Cirencester
The building was modern and fresh and adjoined to a Burger King. It really was quite smart.
En route we passed through lots of heavy rain and drove through the Cotswolds and past a place called Altrincham Mill. Tour buses were pulled up along the road and river side and masses of tourists photographed our van passing through, which in my mind must have looked like the opening credits from Postman Pat.
When we arrived I planned to just stay put in the van and do my usual update of the chalk board and re-set the Sat Nav but the staff were amazing when we arrived and the store manager Lovely Lyndsey ran out to us and insisted one of her staff get on the full Fat Charlie mascot outfit to pose for a photo with us outside. Lyndsey used to work at the previous Little Chef Cathedral and was happy we’d been there to visit. She seemed sceptical about the future of a Starbucks in Little Chefs place and isn’t a fan of their ethos for not supporting American service men. Something we hadn’t heard of before I need to look into. She was keen for us to stay for a coffee but we had to decline and get on the road to Cornwall.
We thought this would be the last stop of the evening and it felt like a really good one to end on.  
Twenty Second Stop: A30 Cornwall
We were approaching our holiday and weren’t going to stop at this branch until the return journey but as we drove along the quiet A road and directly past the branch it felt silly not to stop and snap. The staff ran out to ask what we were doing. They said “it must be the week for photos, we had the Google man here yesterday taking pictures of The Burger King”. They were bemused with our project and said “we won’t know when we close until Head Office come in and tell us” and this is the kind of comments we had from a lot of branches. They know all the stores have to close by the end of 2017. Everyone is almost nonchalant that Little Chef is closing; perhaps we’ve all been subconsciously  aware for some time that they are declining. We are getting used to the decrease of red and white diners and the increase of Starbucks and Greggs. For the staff, they seem to feel assured new jobs will replace the old and it’s just speculation when exactly their Little Chef will go and what exactly will replace it. Some people are certainly more sad than others. But for many employees it seems their management has changed so often and Head Office has been closing down and neglecting communication with the branches that people are now just curious for the change, whatever that may be.
From here we drove onto our holiday destination, where we relaxed, reflected and took stock of the Little Chef goodies we collected along the way. During the first two days of the Every Little Chef trail we had covered 703.3 miles and visited TWENTY TWO Little Chef branches.
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phawareglobal · 7 years
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Cynthia Sandoval and Sylvia Lakalaka Transcript
Sisters Cynthia Sandova and Sylvia Lakalaka describe the difficult road that led to Sylvia’s pulmonary hypertension diagnosis. They discuss their plans to bring #phaware-ness around the world and a project they want to start in hope of making life easier for children who suffer from this rare disease.
  Cynthia: My name is Cynthia Sandova and I'm from Parlor, California.
Sylvia: My name is Sylvia Lakalaka and I'm from Exetor, California. In 2013 I was diagnosed with IPAH and it came out of nowhere, it came out of nowhere. I never had anything wrong with me, maybe flu once in my life and a gallbladder taken out in '97. Was always in perfectly good health, nothing wrong with me whatsoever. Then exercising and trying to lose weight and then for months I've been doing it and then all of the sudden, I couldn't make it across the street to my house. I was like, what's going on? Something's wrong here.
My boyfriend was concerned, took me to the emergency room and they said oh, maybe it's your heart, it's monitoring your heart. For over four days they monitored my heart and they said, you have a perfectly healthy heart. There's nothing wrong with it, maybe you have asthma. Then go to your family doctor. Go to my family doctor, I think you have asthma. Gave me an asthma pump and there I go using an asthma pump maybe 20 times a day and I said, this is not normal. Someone who has asthma, I'm sure doesn't use a pump 20 times a day because you're out of breath, you can't reach from the kitchen table to the sink.
I was like, I went back to my doctor, I don't have asthma. Well maybe allergies and asthma, let's change your medication. Changed my medication, didn't help. Went back to the doctor. I don't have asthma. Well let's send you to a pulmonologist. Sent me to a pulmonologist, he checks me, no you have asthma, but my stats were in the 80s, low 80s. I couldn't even make it from the car to the front door of the office, from the waiting room to his waiting room inside the office.
My stats were so low, but he still insisted I had asthma. I got depressed. It was five months, I was getting bloated, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't bend my legs, I couldn't move my ankles, that's how swollen I was. Nobody would listen. I knew it was something else.
Cynthia: Yeah, she ended up going to my mom's house. She was really depressed and just mad about everything. She didn't feel good and she can't sleep, she would sleep up, like sitting up because she was afraid if she laid down she couldn't breathe, she was going to end up falling asleep and not waking up. She went to my mom's and my mom kept insisting, you have to go to sleep, you have to go to sleep, you have to rest because that's why you're tired. She eventually went to go lay down and then she got up and said mom, bring me the pump, I can't breathe. When she did the pump, she started throwing up and when she started throwing up, my mom got really concerned and said, I don't care what you say, we're going to the hospital.
Sylvia: Then I go to the hospital and the ER doctor, I explained to him what I'd been going through for five months and that doctor looked at me and said, you know what? I think I know what you have. I have a friend who's a specialist and I'm going to have him come and see you tomorrow. We're going to admit you and do some testing and see if what I'm suspecting you have is what you have but he didn't tell me what it was. They started me on Lasix and boy did all that water come off and I could breathe, I could move, I could bend my legs.
I was like oh my God, I'm getting better. Whatever it is they're doing, I'm getting better. Sent me to a bigger hospital, got a right heart cath done and other tests done and sure enough, I had pulmonary hypertension. Yeah, it's devastating but I knew what I had and I knew at least they can give me something to help me feel better. Even if it's to prolong my life for two years, three years, twenty years, whatever, whatever time I have I know I have hope that at least a cure will come in my lifetime but if not mine, I can help and push for a cure for future PH patients. If that's my goal in this world, then that's what I'm going to do.
Cynthia: Yeah.                 
Sylvia: Push to my last breath.
Cynthia: I'm her older sister, so I've always cared for my sisters. I lost a younger sister to cancer and now she has PH but I stay strong for them. I get my will and my strength from my mom. When I found out she was really sick it was devastating for me, but I knew that if all she needed was the support and the love and to be there and I'm always there for her. When she was in the hospital, I stayed there two weeks from one hospital to the next.
I slept on a little tiny couch all crunched up and I wasn't leaving her side and I won't leave her side. I've learned a lot and I've seen that there's people that lived with this for a long time so it gives me hope that she's not going to ever leave me soon.
Sylvia: When I first found out I had this, I looked it up and that was scary, the wrong thing to do. Then I looked it up on Facebook, found a support group. The first person I met was my friend Linda. She had it since birth. From there, learning that someone else had it, and how long she lived even though it's different than mine, because I have IPAH and hers was due to a heart condition, but still I knew there was hope. She invited me into the support group with other people who had PH.
Just talking to each other and knowing that if you have a bad day, you can talk to them and they'll listen and they know what you're going through. That uplifted me a lot and it gave me hope. From there, all I wanted to do, just fight to bring awareness. I don't care how it is, but if I can bring awareness any way I can. Anybody asks me for help and it has something to do with it, I'm going to help because you know what? The cure will come faster if we have more people fighting.
Cynthia: It takes a village.                 
Sylvia: It takes, it does.
Cynthia: I'm part of Lion's Club in Parlor, California where I live at and part of Lion's logo, motto is we serve. We try as much, to do as much of giving to the community and helping out others and so what I'm doing is, I've gone to different counties and cities where we live at to bring awareness, to try to make the Lion's Club part of PH, because we're over a million members around the world and nationwide. We're trying to get all of Lion's Clubs to be part of PH, to bring awareness around the world.
There's a lot of the little children that are really sick and stuff and they can't go swimming so what I told the group was, I'm going to try to do a fundraiser for these children to get swimsuits, air suits so that they can swim during the summertime to be normal. They're like 300, 200, $300 so I'm going to do that and push to get these kids something so they can be a little bit normal, try to help them out. Helping them and learning a lot of what PH is, it helps me deal with my sister, it helps me to understand.
I will never know what she's going through but I'm there and I kind of understand her symptoms and the way she feels and you know, her days when she has good days and bad days. Now that she's taking this medication that they gave her, it's a little bit better. She's able to do a little bit more now. It's a lot better for us because we're able to see her more. We're able to see her do more things because I just don't like her just sitting there like she's hopeless because that's not her.
 We need to bring awareness around the world, especially for the children because they do need a cure. They do need to try to get as much of help and medication as the adults do. Part of my thing is that we're trying to bring awareness for the children also.
Sylvia: Because they need it just as much as the adults.
Cynthia: Yes.
Sylvia: They have less medications available to them and if I know what I went through, I can imagine what they're going through and it's even worse. To see that pains me like no end. If I can even help a little child get a body suit so he can feel normal as a little kid for a little while, then I'm going to do that or if it's just to do simple little things like I'm doing now, it doesn't matter as long as it brings awareness out so people are aware there are people that have this and they can get early diagnosis instead of being like me for five months almost on my deathbed or someone that had it for years and didn't know and it got worse. Just to bring awareness before the onset of it comes. We need to make everybody aware and PH Aware does that.
Cynthia: My name is Cynthia and I'm aware that my sister is rare.
Sylvia: I'm Sylvia and I am aware that I am rare.
  Listen to “I’m Aware That I’m Rare: the phaware™ podcast” at www.phaware.global/podcast. Learn more about pulmonary hypertension at www.phaware.global. #phaware #phawarepod
Check out the office phaware™ podcast site
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