#like terror fandom got close to friendships but that was mostly bc of the fitzier zine i didn't really hang out w anyone

[dragqueenpentheus]

do NOT look directly at me while i become old and sappy like a fucked up tree. haha get it my name is spruce. anyway.

#like. LIKE. this is the closest fandom experience to How It Was Back In The Day #for ME #at any rate #that i've had in YEARS #there's actual friendships that are the basis of creating and sharing #and that's so FUCKING COOL #like bnfs have always been a thing and will always be a thing #but ??!? this is DIFFERENT like this is people forming real bonds and SHARING and that is blowing me away #and getting me VERY sappy like!!!! #i MISSED this energy #this feels very much like the forum days like!!!!! i make something bc targeted for an online friend who is also a fan but we've formed a #BOND like #idk maybe it's just bc i'm. hm well i'm still DEEPLY socially anxious and have trouble in group settings #but my love for spn is a driving force to. put less weight on it and to just say what i want #bc there's people here who will agree and be excited by it and!!! #idk that's cool as hell and very different from my other later fandom experiences #which were very. isolating i suppose??? #like terror fandom got close to friendships but that was mostly bc of the fitzier zine i didn't really hang out w anyone #BUT LIKE. I TALK W YOU GUYS I ENJOY IT SO MUCH!!!! #look at all of us little fools working away on passion projects to improve this awful little show!!!!!!!!! #it makes me SOFT #it might be a combo of tumblr and discord settings???? but yeah anyway #it's nice i'm old i'm sappy and i'm living up to my name #i'm gunna go do homework #and when i say i love u guys i like. genuienly mean it. wtf. #irl #personal