Tumgik
#like seriously why do i have to do this every month
full hc request: mc and m6 celebrating holi ?
(i am friendless this holi and i will cry over it)
-🫧 anon
The Arcana HCs: Celebrating Holi
~ most of this is based off of childhood experience celebrating in South Asia, thank you for resurrecting all the fun memories anon! ~
Julian
He loves the concept of it
A community event, full of color and celebration? Heck yeah! This extrovert is pumped and ready to spread the joy!
This extrovert is also a doctor
And this doctor is already gearing up for the aftermath - for all the people who caught cold running around in wet clothes, the injuries from hopping around on wet cobblestones and twisting ankles ...
... the overenthusiastic celebrants falling into the canals and bumping their heads, the kids who always end up licking the color powder and find out the hard way what they're allergic to ...
And of course, the mild panic he experiences for the next week seeing faded stains on his patient's skin and faces and briefly mistaking them for bruising
Seriously, why do bruises turn every color of the rainbow??
But all that aside, he's excited to celebrate with you and will even bend down so you can smear some color on his face and eyepatch
Asra
Oh, they are thriving
This is easily one of his favorite events of the year. This gets more planning and preparation time than ... most things, really
They insist on making (or at least, modifying) all of their own colors and stock up on everything from powder to paste to dyes they can mix with water and spray at passersby with a water gun
Some of them he enchants to be holographic. Others, to hover menacingly in the air and then engulf whoever walks close enough
It's one of the few times when all the kids in the neighborhood flock to them because they know that nobody will kit them out for a proper water fight like they will. It's on
His hair is going to have colors lingering in it for over a month
The magic use does get just a little bit out of control, sometimes - they've been politely asked to stay away from the town square, since the statues still occasionally puke neon rainbows
Will put a spell on you that morning so nothing can stain you
Nadia
Does she enjoy and look forward to this festival? Yes. Is she stressed beyond words? Also yes. She needs a break
The sheer logistics of organizing a national holiday aside, Holi is messy. The streets are full of people, traffic is impossible for the day, injuries are spiking from partying too hard, and the cleanup
Don't get her started on the cleanup
Vesuvia has plenty of white marble statues and fountains that end up coated in the rainbow every year (though it's gotten easier since a certain magician was banned from the town square)
Not to mention the series of legal cases afterwards when some merchant passing through sells a load of poor quality colors
That won't stop her from enjoying it with you. She'll set up the garden and spend an afternoon chasing you around with her palms covered in color, darting out to leave smudges on your cheeks
If she moves a little more slowly to ensure that she gets covered in your colors as well, then. That's for only her and the shrubs to know
Muriel
A festival so exciting and intense that crowds of people flood the streets and smear colors all over each other with abandon?
Yeah, you can count him out
The concept of celebrating color and the triumph of good over evil is delightful, but you both know that if he joins he'll suffer at best and have a full-blown panic attack at worst. Better not
He'll celebrate with you in his own way
You'll find a forest clearing, pull out all the environmentally friendly colors you've stocked up on, and goad him with rainbow fingerprints into a playful game of tag among the trees
His artistic side will make itself known, waiting for you to tire yourself out before he sits next to you and traces swirls and runes all over your arms and face with featherlight touches
Of course, this only works if you're distracted with something while he does, or else your eyes on him will make him freeze up and blush. (the shaky little smudges those cause are the best)
Portia
She adores Holi and she is Prepared
She knows all the tips and tricks to get through the day with as little misfortune as possible. Old, cheap clothes that you don't mind getting stained. Oil on your skin and hair before you go out
And of course, a mom bag stuffed to the brim, half with celebration essentials and half with mischief implements
You look tired and a little overstimulated. Here, wipe your face and hands with this damp towel and drink some water. She packed snacks - do you want a cookie or a sandwich?
You look like you could use an advantage. Here, take this dye filled water balloon and throw it at the nearest street sign - the partygoers underneath will have it in their hair for weeks
Her favorite celebration spots are right in the middle of wherever the kids are having their massive water fight. Nobody can amp up mediate one of those like she can
Will shamelessly cover your clothes in her handprints
Lucio
He loves it for the first fifteen minutes or so
A town-wide celebration that fills the streets? Heck yeah, he is all in and having the time of his life! He has permission to splash color all over random strangers? Awesome! He's going all out -
... until he starts to receive the same treatment, which means his hair is getting messy and his clothes are going to stain and there's dye all over his face and absolutely ruining his eyeliner
Yeah, he's done, and he's going to start sulking if he doesn't get a hot bath nice and soon
Mercedes and Melchior, on the other hand, are having the times of their lives. It's chaos dialed to the max and they love the chance to weave between people's legs and splash colors everywhere
Of course, they also have gorgeous long silky white fur, which gets absolutely saturated with pigments and dyes as they run wild
Bathing them afterwards is a legendary nightmare and the pastel hues linger on their backs for quite a while
60 notes · View notes
hsgwrld · 2 days
Text
BODY BAG - JAKE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-inspired by body bag - Chloe Moriondo
Pairing - classmate!jake x gn!reader
Genre - fluff,FLUFF!
word count -643
This is a revamp of the drabble I had on my previous account, to be honest,,idk why I even felt the urge to re-write it LMAO!! Can contain grammar mistakes! I was lazy to edit it fully.
Tumblr media
That's it. You despised Shim Jake with every fiber of your being. The one-sided hatred towards him was nothing new. Ever since first grade, you harbored a dislike for him. It wasn't just about his grades, which always seemed to outshine yours, but also the way he looked at you, causing your heart to flutter uncomfortably. You detested that feeling intensely. Stupid Jake, for eliciting such emotions within you. He shouldn't have been your seatmate or even your classmate in the first place. On the first day of school, the teacher assigned him to sit next to you, and he hadn't changed seats all the way through high school. His way of speaking, smiling, and his sweet, bubbly personality only fueled your anger, exacerbating those irritating feelings.
And then there was Jake again. Did he leave a love letter in your backpack? Indeed, he did. Did you expect him to confess his feelings? Not at all. He was just a classmate, nothing more. But deep down, you felt yourself melting and screaming. Yet, the letter was written so beautifully that your heart skipped a beat each time you reread those words for the hundredth time. You kept it in your diary, rereading it as time passed.
"I have always liked you! Even though you've threatened to punch me in the face multiple times, I still like you." In disbelief, you looked at him, blinking five times. Did he really say that? Did he make you stop in the middle of the sidewalk and face him? After a while, was he following you? Sure, he did. Stupid Jake with his nice voice. It seriously made you want to punch him, yet at the same time, hug him tightly and squeeze the life out of him for being so cute.
"I like you too, Jake, but I still want to punch you." Jake's lips formed a smile, the kind you loved to see so often.
Jake had developed a new habit of taking your hand in his and playing with your fingers. Even now, as you both watched a movie at his house, you struggled to focus on the screen. You wanted to punch him for distracting you, but those stupid feelings intervened. The heat in your face didn't help; it only made you more flustered. Always blushing and stuttering when talking to him. Even though you'd been together for months now, he still made your heart pound loudly. As his lips drew closer to your face, you felt yourself slowly drifting away from reality. He left a small kiss on your cheek, a giggle escaping his lips as he observed your flustered state. It wasn't new to him to see you react that way, but he loved teasing you about it.
Your heart melted once again. Jake took you out to watch fireworks together by the river. He hugged you from behind with his head on your shoulder and his hands around your waist. The night breeze brushed against your face. It was a lovely feeling, despite the occasional squabbles between you two. He was your little sunshine, secretly brightening your days.
"I swear, Jake, I will punch you," you threatened, only for him to burst into laughter. The whipped cream on your face made you look too comical, and he couldn't take you seriously.
Jake convinced you to do a TikTok trend with him. At first, you thought it would be fun, but with whipped cream smeared all over your face, glaring at Jake said otherwise.
"Wow, you're so scary," he laughed, pulling out his phone to take a picture of you.
"Funny, very funny, Jake," you said while heading to the bathroom to clean your face. Even as you walked away, you could still hear Jake giggling from the living room, making you smile once again, all because of your stupid Jake.
57 notes · View notes
holybatgirlz · 2 days
Text
Had to do another response to bridgertonbabe’s spouses groupchat
(All credit goes to @bridgertonbabe)
🐝 The Children Group Chat 🐝
Eloise sent a picture.
Eloise: I think we should submit this to Merriam-Webster to put in the dictionary next to the word ‘heavenly’ because holy shit what happened last night was the closest I have ever had to a religious experience.
Eloise: And yes, I already created and bought matching sweatshirts with this image on it for everyone. They say ‘I survived the Pictionary Incident of ‘16’ on them.
Hyacinth: I swear to god if you two idiots scared Sophie off I’m going to finish what she started.
Anthony: Do I have to remind everyone that both Colin and myself were assaulted last night?? Or did you not see the photo Eloise just sent??
Violet: Do I need to remind you both that you purposefully dropped a keg on your brother’s hand?!?
Colin: Mini. It was a mini keg.
Colin: We’re not stupid enough to drop an actual keg on Benedict.
Violet: Well, you could have fooled me.
Violet: The doctor told me your poor brother broke two fingers and was a millimeter away from needing to have surgery on his hand. And in his dominant hand no less.
Violet: Do you have any idea how this is going to impact your brother? His painting? His upcoming gallery showing? He still has three paintings he needs to finish before next month and I have no idea how he’s going to complete them now that you two have gone and done this to him.
Colin: Yes, yes mother. We know. Benedict’s your precious little baby. Heaven forbid he do anything wrong. Like yelling at his girlfriend because she nearly made him lose Pictionary.
Colin: A girlfriend who, I would like the record to reflect, slapped me.
Anthony: Sophie also gave me a black eye. Kate has spent all of this morning laughing at me every time I walk into a room and she sees it so I think we’re even.
Violet sent a picture.
Violet sent a picture.
Violet: What did you not understand about almost needing surgery? You practically shattered his hand!! You nearly destroyed your brother’s art career!
Hyacinth: If Sophie stops talking to me because of the shit you two bozos pulled omg I’m going to end you both.
Colin: I’m surprised the coke can you nearly hit her with didn’t already do that.
Daphne: Hey. We may have a situation happening.
Francesca: What’s wrong?
Violet: Is everything alright?
Daphne: Simon’s panic pacing in our living room right now and I heard him say something about Sophie. I’m trying to figure out what happened. Give me a second.
Daphne: Hold on.
Daphne: SOPHIE’S PLANNING TO BREAK UP WITH BEN!!
Francesca: What??
Eloise: Say sike Daphne. Say sike right now.
Gregory: Seriously??
Colin: Oh shit. For real?
Francesca: How do you know?
Daphne: Simon and Kate are texting with her right now. I only figured it out because Simon’s stutter comes back when he’s stressed and mutters to himself to stay calm.
Daphne: But Sophie’s said she’s going to break up with Ben when he wakes up because she thinks we all hate her!!
Violet: I need to get back to the hospital right now.
Hyacinth: YOU IDIOTS!!!
Hyacinth: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!!
Colin: Gregory. Since I know u r with her. Scale of 1-10 how pissed is Hy right now?
Gregory: Hy right now:
Tumblr media
Gregory sent a photo
Gregory sent a photo
Colin: Ah. 100 then.
Gregory: Yeah
Colin: Well it was nice knowing everyone
Anthony: Why on earth would she think we hate her?? You were all cheering her on when she was assaulting us.
Eloise: By far the hottest thing I've ever seen. I think watching her throw that punch rewired my brain chemistry. Watered my crops. Cleared my skin. Ended my depression. And helped me finish my graduate applications. I’ve never felt so alive.
Eloise: Fuck Wollstonecraft. Fuck Steinem. Fuck Atwood. Their works do not even compare to the straight prose Sophie was shooting last night while she was yelling at you two.
Eloise: And if we lose her now because you two idiots made her think we despise her I am going to HELP HYACINTH BURY YOUR BODIES!!!
Francesca: Mum, how close are you?
Violet: 30 minutes out. John is driving as fast as he legally can to get me back there.
Violet: I knew I shouldn’t have left her there alone. I knew something was off. She was far too quiet to have been okay with all of this.
Daphne: Do you need us to come meet you there?
Violet: No. The last thing we need to do is overwhelm her.
Violet: This is all my fault. I should never have picked Pictionary. I shouldn’t have even allowed a Game Night to begin with!
Violet: I forgot that I have wolves for children. That you all were swapped with changelings as babies.
Hyacinth: Why didn’t anyone stay with Sophie???
Eloise: Because she’s a grown woman who knows how to handle herself. She seemed fine last night.
Francesca: She seemed pretty overwhelmed to me. I found her crying in the bathroom after Benedict yelled at her.
Violet: She was crying?!!!
Francesca: I think she was just taken by surprise and she told me Danbury had called her earlier about the lawsuit with her stepmother so I thought she was probably already stressed before she arrived at the house last night. I told her Benedict didn’t mean any of it. And after the beat down she gave Colin and Anthony I thought she would be okay.
Hyacinth: Mum you need to get there!!
Violet: Sweetheart, I’m trying to get there as fast as I can.
Hyacinth: Omg Mum hurry up 😩😩😩 My sanity is on the line here.
Gregory: Anthony and Colin’s asses are literally on the line right now. Hyacinth might actually commit to killing them.
Hyacinth: I swear to God I’m going to actually lose it if Sophie leaves. We finally were about to have a cool in-law in the family and now you IDIOTS RUINED IT!!!
Gregory: We were almost able to say we had a felon in the family 😖😖😖
Daphne: Gregory. Sophie nearly going to jail is not something to strive for.
Francesca: She also isn’t a felon. She would have had to have been convicted for that to be true.
Hyacinth: Firstly, she was falsely accused and this has been a known fact for weeks now. Keep up. Secondly, and according to the police report, Sophie almost outran the cops and got away. Like they chased her seven blocks before they caught her. Full sprint the entire time. And then she elbowed one of them while they were arresting her so they nearly hit her with an assaulting police officer charge because of it.
Hyacinth: Thirdly, Ben said Sophie completely decked her stepmother once it was revealed that Armabitch lied about her stealing from her (which honestly should have been a heads up for tweedle dumb and tweedle dumbest not to FUCK with her)
Hyacinth: And FOURTHLY, she literally got broken out of jail by Mum and Ben because yours truly was smart enough to make sure her location sharing was on.
Hyacinth: She’s a literal icon of icons 😍😍😍
Daphne: Hyacinth, you never answered this the last time we asked. But did you hack Sophie’s phone?
Hyacinth: No
Hyacinth: I just made sure she was sharing her location with me while I was putting my number in her phone. That’s all.
Violet: Alright I’m back at the hospital.
Hyacinth: Mum you need to find Sophie! You need to stop her!
Violet: Oh I plan to. Not going to allow all my hard work to go to waste. I’ll text you once I’ve spoken to her.
Eloise: Are you two idiots happy with yourselves now??
Eloise: Was this worth dropping a keg on Benedict??
Colin: Again
Colin: Mini keg.
Colin: And right now, since I am currently praying to every God in existence to make sure Sophie and Benedict don’t break up, the answer is no.
Anthony: If she was bold enough to hit me in the face, then she was a perfect fit for this family.
Anthony: Mum, if you don’t stop her, tell me. I’ll come out there and speak to her myself.
Hyacinth: Anything?
Daphne: Oh my god this wait is killing me.
Francesca: Mum any updates yet?
Benedict sent a picture
Benedict: I lived.
Daphne: Benedict! Where’s Sophie? Is she with you?
Hyacinth: DO NOT LET HER LEAVE US!!!
Benedict: She here ❤️
Benedict: she finance
Eloise: ????
Benedict: Soap finance
Daphne: Benedict what are you trying to say
Eloise: What the hell does this mean???
Benedict: Soap
Benedict: Finance
Benedict: SOAP MY FINANCE
Benedict: soap finance
Benedict: Duck
Francesca: Benedict are you still high??
Benedict: No. Typing 1 hand. Hard
Eloise: I think we should all take that as he’s still high.
Benedict: Soap Bucket my finance
Gregory: This is some fucking DaVinci code level shit.
Francesca: Are you talking about Sophie??
Benedict: Yes
Benedict: Finance
Benedict: She finance
Francesca: She’s fine?
Eloise: What about Sophie’s finances??
Violet: Fiancée. He means fiancée.
Violet: Sophie and Benedict are engaged!! Well, technically, engaged. Sophie told him he has to propose again once the drugs wear off but I got here just in time to see Benedict asking her to marry him after he woke up and hearing Sophie tell him yes. We’ve all been celebrating. It was quite lovely 🥰🥰
Benedict: Mum cryin rite now.
Eloise: No doubt ecstatic she no longer needs to worry about you dying alone.
Colin: Oh thank Christ.
Gregory:
Tumblr media
Francesca: 🥳🥳 Congratulations Benedict
Daphne: Congratulations!!
Hyacinth: This is literally the best news I could receive 😭😭😭
Benedict: Thank you ☺️
Benedict: V happy rite now.
Eloise: V high 2
Benedict sent a photo
Benedict: High on life 😌😌😌 On love 😍☺️🥰
Eloise: Omg 🤢🤮
Eloise: Freak
Eloise: No one asked to see your kissing selfies.
Violet: Benedict. Sweetheart. Since I apparently have to text you this as well. Put the phone down and go back to sleep.
Benedict: NO
Benedict: Engaged!
Benedict: Every1 celebrate me b engaged
Anthony: Congratulations brother.
Benedict: Asshole. Hat u. U no celebrate.
Benedict: Hate other asshole 2. Were Colin?
Colin: Hey Benedict. How’s your hand?
Benedict: Duck u
Benedict: Fuck u
Benedict: Hate u both so much rite now.
Colin: Listen. Ben. I’m really sorry for almost crushing your hand.
Benedict: Hand no long matter. U hurt Soap. I kill u.
Colin: She slapped me!
Benedict: Deserved. U deserved. Drop keg on me n face Soap wrath.
Benedict: God she was so hot 4 that.
Eloise: So hot
Benedict: So hot. My gf is so hot.
Benedict: Finance! She finance now.
Anthony: Benedict. Please tell Sophie how sorry we are for last night and that we are all incredibly happy for her. For both of you.
Anthony: You can also tell her she has an impressive right hook.
Anthony: …
Anthony: Benedict?
Anthony: Benedict are you there?
Violet: He’s not going to answer. Sophie finally took his phone away. But I’ll tell her.
Daphne: Everyone say thank you to Kate and Simon. They spent almost an hour trying to talk Sophie out of leaving Benedict while we were all freaking out.
Francesca: Do they know?
Daphne: I told Simon
Anthony: Kate knows
Gregory: Kate and Simon right now probably
Tumblr media
Eloise: Anthony. How much did you just drop on ‘thank you for saving my ass’ jewelry for Kate?
Anthony: Fuck off.
Francesca: I texted Kate. She’s checking the bank account.
Francesca: About 5k by the looks of it. And he’s taking her to Paris.
Anthony: I hate all of you.
22 notes · View notes
starwarjotta · 11 months
Text
there’s a special place in hell for people who take the time and go through the effort of leaving negative comments on fanfics, like-- what is wrong with you, what is LEGITIMATELY wrong with you? I’m so angry and so devastated on behalf of everyone who has been harrassed like this and who is going through something like this right now. There’s no excuse for shitty behavior - if you intentionally leave a hurtful comment on something someone created and put out there for other people’s enjoyement, for free, after spending probably HOURS if not WEEKS or MONTHS or longer on it, you’re an incredibly shitty, disgusting, miserable waste of space of a person be better
107 notes · View notes
da-proti-toku-grem · 5 months
Text
.
#i'm seriously starting to considering quiting uni and i've not even been here for 2 month yet#seriously why am i like this#i'm literally on the verge of tears rn and trying not to have an anxiety attack#and just because my chemistry teacher told us that we have to do some shit for a presentation in december#just thinking about all the stuff i have to do for december makes me want to cry#and 90% of it is the week after my concert#and i already feel like shit because i'm going to a f*cking concert instead of studying#also i don't like almost anything we're doing up to this point#and i keep telling myself that maybe it's because it's the first year and we are doing more 'basic' things#so maybe i'll like more stuff in the next years#but it seems more unlikely everyday#and i can't stop thinking that maybe i chose the wrong career#i know that's not the end of the world but i can't help but think that i've been wasting my time#and that i had such a bad time last year just to be able to get into this career only to not like it now that i'm in#also idk what i would do if i actually quit because this was honestly the only thing i thought i might like#it's just so frustrating and idk what to do#so i'm here writing this rant in the middle of class trying not to cry in front of 60 people#and feeling even worse because i'm not paying enough attention#istg i think that the only thing keeping me sane rn is this fandom#i'm very grateful for all of you who put up with me every day :(#venting#maca speaks
6 notes · View notes
moodr1ng · 16 days
Text
(thinking abt talking to my psych) ahh hes probably right to doubt my previous diagnosis, the symptoms of which ive almost all dutifully concealed from him so he wont think im insane, im sure i just made it up for attention despite how i was in denial of it for years, and i actually just fooled the people who had me on watch 24/7 for a year and a half into thinking i had psychosis. (makes a list of present and past delusions to tell my psych about) oh wait this is crazy person stuff!
2 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 2 years
Text
thinkin back to the rggo story where mine saves daigo after he gets kidnapped because daigo thought kiryu was in danger and mine immediately scolds him for acting recklessly and daigo’s just ‘no one’s ever stood up to me before aside from kashiwagi’ and how that calls back to daigo’s Y0 substory where kiryu tells him only true friends will stand up to him and put him in his place and im--
Tumblr media
#snap chats#'i'm going to be normal' WELL I WAS LYING. LIKE A LIAR. WHO LIES.#ill go in my kitchen in a sec im just. I'm Just.#*gross sobbing*#rgg really made up for Y3's Everything by giving the rggo stories and im so serious about this#people I Am Also A Part Of People complained about not being able to see mine and daigo together much and see their friendship#and.... the rggo stories..... bro theyve been fueling me for months..... im so ill......#BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH THATS WHY I GET INSANE OVER DAIGO'S Y0 SUBSTORY TOO#like daigo just wanted- NEEDED real friends who would ACTUALLY be there for him for him#not for his status or money or any of that superficial shit#it genuinely makes me happy how dedicated mine is to daigo like No Shit but it's just. *crying*#i love how mine does tell daigo when he fucks up though i love that so much#like mine's such a funny character... he's so cynical yet when he gets the chance to pour his heart out he does#he meant it when he said he didn't take sharing a cup lightly and /i/ want to eat a cup because of it#THIS IS THE SAME SUBSTORY WHERE MINE BUYS A STOCK IN EVERY TAXI COMPANY LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#ALL OF THAT JUST TO BE ABLE TO FIND DAIGO#dear god dont get me started on the hamazaki/mine rggo story. oh my god it's THAT but 10 billion i'm going to throw up#i'm just. i HAVE to go into my kitchen or i'll end up typing another essay jesus CHRIST#LIKE AGAIN I FEEL LIKE IM NOT SAYING WHAT I WANT OR GETTING MY POINT ACROSS BUT AAAA#i just need everyone to know i AM still ill over them i just havent had time or many ideas to sit and draw/write something
39 notes · View notes
aberooski · 4 months
Text
If I have another breakdown at work tomorrow like I did the last time I worked a Saturday I'm going to kill myself because last time I screamed in the hallway and cried so hard I was shaking because of how stressed I was.
#working at the movie theater sucks I hate people so much#I also hate that the movie theater was the best I could do even with a fucking degree because I've never had a job before#and I haven't even been there a month and I'm already the most fucking competent usher we have#i have to do fucking everything and I'm the only one keeping us on track every fucking day#also the only other ushers I actually like aren't the ones I consistently work with and tomorrow I have to work with the one that I hate#they literally do not pay me enough for this shit#anyway I'm back to considering opening art commissions becauae as I said they don't pay me shit and I really do need the extra money#also another reason I'm pissed about working tomorrow is that I have to miss christmas cookie baking at ny grandma's and that's one of-#-my favorite traditions every year. I'm actually very upset about it I might cry about it at work tomorrow.#alao they're making me come in at 10 am when all the other ushers don't start coming in until like 12 and the first theaters don't let out-#-until like 11:40 so there's literally no point in me being there that early other than to just piss me off#I'll take the extra like fuxking 20 bucka those 2 hours will get me but fuckibg seriously? I know I'm technically available-#-which is probably why but all it's gonna be is me making sure our usher cart is stocked then sitting around for an hour and a half#fuck everything#I fucking hate that this is my life this is awful#I can't have literally anything can I?#abby after dark#abby's having a crisis
4 notes · View notes
kindofapieceofshit · 6 months
Text
my new job postponed my training/start date so i'm just sitting here stuck at my mom's house for two months with no money 🥲 love that for me.
5 notes · View notes
wickedhawtwexler · 6 months
Text
crying during a phone call with your pharmacy because every month you have a new crisis while getting your medication #justadhdthings #lovelife
2 notes · View notes
opia-jpg · 9 months
Text
.
#i have a light feeling that my mom might be hinting at something#with the whole. mentioning my mood swings and sensory issues and poor social skills and such#i say i'm unsure because she's not one to be subtle in situations like this? so i feel like i'm projecting#but she did suggest (partially related) going to a psychologist#and the thing about me is that i'm very self aware about my many flaws and therefore have decided#that i can't fix them or that it's not that bad as long as *i know* the issue is there#which is starting to sound like an issue in itself? but i feel like im being way too dramatic every time#i know i'm just in a stressful spot in my life and that it will pass in a few months#but i am starting to seriously consider getting an outsider's perspective. just in case#im feeling down *all* the time lately but there's always a reason to blame so i feel like it's just rotten luck and not something within me#there's not enough time but also too much of it for me to make excuses for not being able to do Anything at all and i feel paralyzed#but isn't it just the everyday terror of being in charge of yourself#i wish i could come up with a definite answer but there isn't one and the childish part of me is so frustrated with it#i have a fantasy of violently breaking my arms that doesn't lead anywhere i just feel the urge consistently enough that it's a pattern#(ive never self harmed i know i won't that's why it's just a fantasy)#i crave complete anonymity i crave deep genuine human connection and i don't want to talk to anyone. ever again.#ive talked with at least three different people partially about those thoughts#but talking about it is difficult and like pulling teeth#im clumsy with my words. can't quite find the precise meaning i want. i stutter and hum and mumble#i hate talking but if i don't i will explode#i want to be taken seriously but saying things outloud makes them sound so harsh and i don't know if it is that serious#but it's a pebble of thought that i can't stop turning around in my head over and over and over until im sick#never! ending! story! jesus christ#vent post#← tagging just in case#pretend you've never read it
2 notes · View notes
markedbyindecision · 9 months
Text
aromantics who write romance and asexuals who write smut are the backbone of our society
2 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 1 year
Text
my ancient curse is that im a hard person to hang out with because i keep wanting to do different activities every 10 minutes to maximize the fun per minute ratio. if u even care
9 notes · View notes
thebirdandhersong · 2 years
Text
.
#at the point where i am mostly like. what is the point. WHAT IS THE POINT!!!#i'm doing terrible at my job and can hardly keep up with schoolwork#and all i want to do in the future (concretely know that i want to do) is write but WOW my writing needs so much work if i ever want to pu#publish#and the world is so large. so large and full of things to do and people and places and just so LARGE#and i am so small and silly and for twenty one rather slow and confused#i can hardly handle my own life. i can hardly even manage to do morning prayer every morning or stick to writing regularly#or even control things in my life like food and exercise which is like. basic self maintenance#i don't know what's going on half the time! i don't know! i don't know why i try so hard half the time either!#it is so SO hard to remain joyful and optimistic and hopeful and i am TRYING hard at it i really am#it is just so much of a struggle all the time and i don't know WHY i'm suddenly unable to function properly like a human being#it is so HARD to resist being unkind and selfish and self-serving and withdrawn and cold nowadays#i just want everything to be put on pause for a little while and that's basically impossible#sorry this is another rant i just have no idea what to do#and i am at the end of my tether once again. seriously this is the closest to rock bottom i've gotten since lockdown#if i were a drinking person. but i am not and thankfully have enough aversions to drink and other substances that i am firmly Not going#to go to extremes. but suffice it to say. multiple mental breakdowns this month multiple 3-5hour nights#many many days in a row of just. having zero energy zero motivation zero ability to do the things#i have a very high sense of Shame and Guilt and also Following Rules and so i wouldn't say i've lost the will to live#because even at the Worst of the worst times things like self harm and suicide have never been an option in my mind#but i am as close to it as i can be i guess. i am just SO tired and very scared#like. God help me. what is my worth if i can't write good stories? what is my worth if i can't be loving and kind and gentle 100% of the ti#time? what is my worth if i can't put 200% into everything and do ALL the things for everyone? what is my worth if i'm not doing My Best?#why can't i just be Normal and Well Adjusted and have SOME of the things figured out for once??#i can't even EAT PROPERLY how can i enter the workforce or raise a family?
27 notes · View notes
westernsunshine · 8 months
Text
I do have to wonder how much of my ‘blood pressure being high’ was just due to 1) anxiety and 2) not being able to put the fact that this doctor basically killed my friend’s sister-in-law out of my mind
#okay she didn’t KILL her kill her but she failed to notice this woman had stomach cancer for well over a year#she presented with every symptom and this doctor kept fobbing her off; cancelling appointments; losing referrals etc#until Finally she managed to get referred to a specialist and they did a scan and found out she had stage 4 stomach cancer#she died six months after that. she’d been living without treatment for a year prior to diagnosis like… they could’ve saved her#this doctor specifically could’ve saved her#why did i see this doctor you ask? well there’s four doctors at my regular practice. two of them are male. i don’t fuck with male doctors#nothing against them but discussing my personal intimate problems with a man i don’t know and no chaperone is just not for me#i also had a male doctor repeatedly make weird comments about my body when i was a teenager so there is that#my dentist is a man though and we like him. one boy allowed#Anyway so there’s the two male doctors and then there’s this woman who basically killed my friend’s family member#and then there’s the other woman doctor but she is on leave at the moment and only taking phone appointments. she wouldn’t be back until#after my microgynon prescription ran out and she can’t take my blood pressure over the phone. so i was like. would i rather be examined#by a man or someone who is an idiot at best and negligent at worse. or take my chances with freeballing this shit (my period)#so there i am sitting in this woman’s office seething and no surprise; the best figure she could get from me was 121 over 95#bear in mind i’m usually sitting at 100 over 80. so.#she did take my blood pressure 5 times but the last time i saw she got an upper figure of 103 and she didn’t write the lower figure???#so i’m wondering if the meditation i was trying to do actually Did take my blood pressure down and she just didn’t want to accept it lol#should i buy a blood pressure monitor? i mean.. literally no because that’s an unnecessary expense and i’ve placed a moratorium#on unnecessary shopping in order to justify/afford a fucking TREADMILL#but seriously. i’m starting to wonder if i actually have hypertension or if i was just pissed at this woman. or if she’s just incompetent#i swear i’m not just mad because this is my second day of a reduced salt diet and i’m not enjoying it lol#i’m sticking to her orders i’m just….. i don’t know if it was bullshit or not. i mean how do i trust someone who watched a woman waste away#to skin and bone and continually fumbled referral paperwork and just overall failed to see that Something Was Very Wrong#i’m following her advice out of malicious compliance and because i don’t think it can hurt me but still. Still#personal
1 note · View note
townhulls · 1 year
Text
.
3 notes · View notes