#like seriously this sounds bizarre but HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT

[yellowocaballero]

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint: YJH Commits the Improbable and Reads a Webnovel

Don’t be weird. Don’t be weird about this, Dokja. I hurriedly went back to the novel myself, reading it next to him. Reading a novel next to somebody…that was like reading it together, wasn’t it? 

It wasn’t together. But it wasn’t separate. It was a strange and obscure connection, one where you said nothing but were linked by a shared experience. It meant something when two people experienced the same thing. Especially this.

Somebody else experiencing this…it was like they were experiencing me. Why had he sat down next to me? Why had he stared? Why did he talk to a stranger like this, ask questions so intently? Why would he go so far as to ask about the book, read it beside me? Did he like it?

With a strange and obscure wonder, the man said, “This isn’t even good.”

Well. That was a natural reaction.

When I'm trying harder than usual to nail a difficult character then I write a lot of side shit in order to try and lock them down. Obviously everybody in ORV is hard as fuck to write, so I decided to write a quick scene as a character study for KDJ & YJH to try and nail their voices. I think this was written right after the divorce arc.

Super short 3k encounter under the cut.

I noticed the man sitting down next to me immediately, but it took far longer to notice he was staring at me. He hadn’t even turned on the computer - he just stared at me, completely shamelessly. It was another few minutes before I finally worked up the courage to fully turn my head to look at him. 

I had noticed from the corner of my eye, but he was an unrealistically attractive man. The punk black shirt, canvas pants, and dangerous black boots suited him well. It made me want to forgive him for staring at me. I didn’t quite forgive him. 

“Is there something you need help with?”

Maybe he had seen me here several times and mistook me for a library expert. I was, in a few ways. Mostly not. You’d think that guys who spent as much time as I did at the library would be some sort of well-read genius. I just read webnovels on the computer. It was my ideal location, since there was a computer and it wasn’t home. My webnovel and isolation was all I asked for. I didn't know who I was asking, but there had to be somebody.

The man somehow hadn’t anticipated the question. He wasn’t big on blinking or moving, which wasn’t a great trait in creepy library men. He took a long few seconds before answering. It wasn’t a tremendously difficult question. I knew it: the more attractive a man was, the stupider he became. Maybe that explained myself?

“What are you reading?” 

Question with a question. The man had a deep, bassy voice, but there was an awkward wobble to it. I hurriedly switched tabs to a news site. “Nothing.”

“You seemed intent.”

“Why would you notice that?” I asked flatly. I could play this game too. “And why were you staring?”

“I wanted to know what you were reading.”

He didn’t seem that curious. Maybe the question was a nicety, meant to open me up towards selling me sharp knives or something, but anybody who would say a nicety like that wouldn’t stare at me for ten minutes first. 

“Just a webnovel.” I knew I sounded defensive, but you could only hear the exact same thing for so long. “Fantasy. It’s not fanfic or anything.” I paused a second. “I don’t know what fanfic is. By the way.”

The man’s eyes skittered away, the nervousness blooming. He stared at my suddenly banal computer screen instead, as if I was stupid enough to show my cards and flip back to Ways of Survival. “What’s it about?” 

I couldn’t help but perk up a little. Was he seriously interested in that? This was beyond bizarre small talk. Better keep the explanation to two sentences. Play it cool, Dokja.

When was the last time somebody had actually asked what it was about? That girl in high school, maybe. When she was pretending to ask me out to get a giggle out of her friends. That reverse counted. 

“It’s a post-apoc regressor fantasy,” I said. Really cool. Wait. This guy was way too attractive to be a nerd. “Oh, a regressor’s a genre. It’s when the main character goes back in -”

“I know what a regressor is,” the man said tersely.

So he was a nerd? That seemed improbable. Attractive people didn’t have to become nerds, and nobody was a nerd voluntarily. “Sorry. Yeah, but it’s about a regressor who has to save the world from gods and demons. And a lot of other stuff. It’s mostly action. For a male audience.”

The man looked a little pained. Crap. I failed. C- in social interaction, Dokja. “Audience, huh.”

I stared at him blankly. “All stories are for an audience.”

“What about a story nobody reads?”

“So can I help you, or…?”

“Can’t a story be just for you?” The man suddenly seemed a little urgent, as if this conversation had tilted into an area that actually mattered. I thought I was the only one… “What about a story that you tell to yourself?”

I stopped and thought about it. I had thought about the topic before - a Dokja found it hard not to - but the thoughts usually walked a tired track of self-pity. But the man spoke sincerely, and some topics deserved a serious answer. The man waited for me to talk with growing impatience. Pushy. 

I decided to give the answer I had when his eyebrow started ticking. “People tell themselves their own stories when they’re trying to create an ending they want. As if framing your life as a romance means you’ll get married at the end. Life doesn’t really work that way, though…”

The man leaned forward a little, his urgency only growing. “What if it did?”

“That’s a hypothetical,” I said. “So it’s fictional. You just made fiction out of making fact out of fiction. That’s fiction at the end of the day.”

“If fiction was real, would it become reality?”

It was a question that was both very banal and very odd. “That only happens in isekais.” The man stared at me blankly. How did you know about regressors and not isekais? “You know. Americans call them portal fantasies. It’s a popular genre, there’s all kinds. Regressors, Returnees, and Reincarnators.” A little awkwardly, I added, “That’s, like, genre canon. See, my novel explains it.”

I opened up the webnovel tab, navigating instantly towards the line I was thinking of. It was pretty early in the book, while Yoo Junghyeok explained to Lee Jihye and Kim Namwoon that he was a regressor. As usual, the narration had to step in to explain the basics of the worldbuilding. It was always nostalgic to read the beginning of the novel: back when the worldbuilding wasn’t insanely convoluted. 

“ ‘In the cruel star stream, there are only three ways to survive’”, I read out loud, before something occurred to me. “Oh, the star stream is kind of like an evil apocalyptic Twitch stream. Gods and demons watch scenarios - that’s a sort of game where a bunch of people die - and then they watch people die, it’s a gory -”

“Like a Twitch stream,” the man said tightly. This guy was a huge fan of repeating what I said. 

I just shrugged. “It’s a metaphor. The novel’s about the entertainment industry and exploitation of -” the man’s face was becoming increasingly stormy, so I went back to the novel. “Right, here: ‘In the cruel star stream, there are only three ways to survive: bear regression, change into a returnee, or accept reincarnation. These are the strongest people. In this new and dying world, the weak will not survive.’” I looked back at the man, almost forgetting the casual act. “Cool, right? There’s lots of isekai elements - I guess you could say that there’s a sophisticated nature to it sometimes, this metatextual aspect? - but the story itself doesn’t really hit those isekai beats. MCs are meant to be relatable everymen, but you can’t really call Yoo Joonghyuk relatable. Oh, that’s the MC. He’s really morally gray, it’s that kind of story. He’s the kind of hero who always does his best but who’s constantly fucking up. He’s, like, on his 945th regression. Not great at the -”

“945th?” the man asked. If he was strangled before he was dying of asphyxiation now. 

I got it. “He’s a sunfish,” I said sympathetically. The man seemed like he was in too much pain to understand the reference. “That means he’s super easy to kill. But that’s mostly at first. He gets super badass later. One time he decapitated four -”

“This is funny to you, isn’t it?”

I stopped short. I couldn’t read the man’s face at all, but I felt very judged. And a little like I had disappointed him. “It’s not exactly a comedy,” I said awkwardly. “It’s just cool. It’s fun.”

“You didn’t look like you were having fun while you were reading it.”

Damn. Caught. I looked away, rubbing at the back of my neck. “Uh…yeah, I’d read that section, like, five times. It’s just comforting, I suppose.” For some demented reason, I felt the need to add, “You read it in class and you can pretend Yoo Joonghyuk would beat up your bullies for you. Or that he’d stand up for you against your - that kind of thing. He’s a hero. It’s not about watching the hero suffer. It’s about cheering for him when he wins. Um, I shouldn’t admit this, should I?”

But he didn’t look like he thought I was cringe. The man spoke quickly, as if he needed me to know before anything else. “He used to threaten his sister’s bullies. That’s the sort of thing he does. Did. As a child.” He paused a beat. “It’s why he started working out. They weren’t very intimidated. Or so it seems.”

I nodded eagerly, suddenly excited beyond measure. “That’s totally him! He just hides it behind that cool murder guy exterior. You really get it. You know, maybe you’d like - uh, nobody likes it, but it’s oddly compelling -”

“Sure,” the man said. I quietly exploded. “Pull it up on the computer.”

And for the very first time in my entire life, I sat next to somebody as they read Ways of Survival. I was practically vibrating. I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at his face, trying to suss out if he was enjoying it or not. He had skipped forward a few chapters, so maybe he wasn’t that interested - but he looked so intense - but he always seemed a little intense - another human being on this Earth was reading Ways of Survival! Was this a dream? I didn’t want to wake up. 

Don’t be weird. Don’t be weird about this, Dokja. I hurriedly went back to the novel myself, reading it next to him. Reading a novel next to somebody…that was like reading it together, wasn’t it? 

It wasn’t together. But it wasn’t separate. It was a strange and obscure connection, one where you said nothing but were linked by a shared experience. It meant something when two people experienced the same thing. Especially this.

Somebody else experiencing this…it was like they were experiencing me. Why had he sat down next to me? Why had he stared? Why did he talk to a stranger like this, ask questions so intently? Why would he go so far as to ask about the book, read it beside me? Did he like it?

With a strange and obscure wonder, the man said, “This isn’t even good.”

Well. That was a natural reaction. I wasn’t offended. 

“I don’t like to call stories good or bad,” I said philosophically. “Every story has something for everybody. Ways of Survival is a great story if you love it enough.”

“It could have at least been good.” The man leaned back, exhaling like he had run a marathon. “All of this…and it couldn’t even be good?”

This was basically expected. “The characterization is good,” I offered weakly. 

“Of course the people are good,” the man said irritably, as if this was a foregone conclusion. “But the book itself is embarrassing. The writing is awkward and choppy. The plotlines seem rushed and convoluted. And the regressor is completely unsympathetic.”

“Are you kidding? How can you be unsympathetic to a man with so much inner pain?” I had to roll up for my bias. If Yoo Joonghyuk had a million fans I was one of them, if he had one fan then the fan was me - he did literally have one, and it was literally me. “If I’d seen my loved ones die a million times I’d act cold too. He just loves people too much, so he pushes them away. It’s really deep. And he’s cool.”

The man looked away from the monitor, eyes flaring, and I had to fight the urge to retreat against that intense look. “How can you love a book that’s so faulty?”

All I could do was shrug awkwardly. “It’s pretty easy when it’s all you have.”

“There’s other books.”

“None of them are mine.”

The man’s eyes narrowed a little, his face tightening. “It’s a public book. What makes it yours?”

“I’m the only person who reads it.” This person was getting a little intense. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable - and it definitely was - but somehow I could only care about the fact that he wanted to read my book. It didn’t even matter that he didn’t like it. That had never happened before. “I suppose it’s the author’s too. But a book belongs to the audience, you know. The author can have every intention they want, but the people who read it decide what the book really is. No offense to the author or anything.”

“What if the book doesn’t have an audience?” 

Nobody had ever looked at me like this man looked at me. He was looking straight through me, as if I wasn’t even there - but he was looking at me as if there was nobody else in the world. It wasn’t comfortable. But it wasn’t uncomfortable either. Maybe that was just the nature of true things. 

“That’s a little sad, isn’t it?” I asked. “Every book deserves a reader.”

“Could be a crap book.”

“Is a reader not allowed to enjoy a crap book?”

“What about a crap person?” the man asked urgently. “Does a crap person deserve a reader?”

“I don’t know.” I could only shrug a little helplessly. I wish I wasn’t so helpless. This man was clearly looking for a certain answer, but I couldn’t parse it out. “It’s not about deserve. People are allowed to love crap people. Readers are allowed to like crap books. It’s not so different, I think…”

“It’s bad taste, though.”

“Isn’t that somebody’s own choice?”

The man was silent.

The air had grown awkward. I went back to the novel, abandoning the man to stare blankly at his own computer screen. I didn’t know why my own personality and a webnovel gave him so much to process, but Ways of Survival incited a lot of deep thoughts about the universe and the nature of humanity in me too.

I was on chapter 1,452 before the man finally stood up. He carefully pushed in his chair, reaching to straighten a nonexistent collar before letting his hand fall. 

“Thank you,” the man said. “This helped.”

He seemed sincere, and earnest sincerity was something one ought to accept. “You’re welcome. I don’t really know why, though.”

“Let’s say I needed closure on some things. The turnaround was worth it.” He glanced upwards, as if he was speaking to God. “But I’m not thanking anybody.” 

“If somebody does you a favor it’s polite to say thanks.”

“I would strangle that bastard before I thank him.” Bizarre sentence, but the man paused for a second anyway. “I Googled the top pro gamer in South Korea.”

I was caught off-guard by the subject change. “I don’t keep up with esports?”

“I didn’t recognize the name.”

“Neither…would I?”

“It was a relief.”

The man turned off the computer and stood up, as if the non-sequitur was the final and most important thing to say. I was still stuck on what esports had to do with anything. 

Wait. Something finally occurred to me. “You never said your name.”

The corner of the man’s lips twitched upwards. “Kim Dokja.”

“That’s not funny.” It was actually pretty creepy. How long had this guy been staring at me? “Hey, how do you know my name?”

“I know everything about you,” the man panned. “All of your secret fears in the dark. All of your love and hatred. I know you, therefore we are comrades.”

I stared at him blankly. “But I don’t know you at all.”

“That’s another story.” The man stuck his hands in his pockets, easily turning and walking away. “Until next time.”

Until next - “Hey! What does that even mean!”

But the man ignored me, and when he turned a corner and disappeared out of sight he may as well not have existed. I was left alone in that library, abruptly alone and lonely. In a lifetime of isolation I had never felt so abandoned. 

Desperately, insanely, I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled as I could. “Come back! Nobody ever sees the mysterious stranger again!”

I wanted to see him again. I wanted more questions, more answers. I couldn’t allow this man to be a flash in a pan, a blinking light in the night before all grew dark. 

I wanted him to be a different sort of mysterious stranger - a friend you hadn’t met yet. One that kept his distance and could never come nearer until he eliminated all threats to his life. Some romantic stalker that loved me from afar. Even foreshadowing or a Chekov’s gun, a story where every element has its own meaning - one where strangers always reunited, and nobody disappeared forever.

If I wanted that story badly enough, would it happen? I was just Kim Dokja, a reader who would never write his own story by sheer nature. I had always been content with that. But in that moment, for the very first time, I wanted to create the story. 

No - I wanted to create the narrative. But that wasn’t achievable outside of fiction. Not for somebody powerless like me. The loser only grew powerful in fiction. Real life didn’t work like that. You had to have power to become powerful. Only powerful people wrote their own stories. And somebody like me could only become powerful in a shitty isekai. 

For a long time thereafter I wondered if I regretted that wish or not. Something as simple as regret ought to be easy to determine. But regret was one of those insidious little things, a sour thread that ran through every happy moment and curled around the sad ones. An emotion that stayed present in happy or sad circumstances, when you failed to obtain something you wanted or when you were never satisfied with what you had. 

But Yoo Joonghyuk had always made a pretty shitty mysterious stranger.

#this is what my practice looks like I guess? #my writing #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk

[lemmetreatya]

Your local jojo simp sliding in once more :3

Dilftaro X black!fem reader NSFW👀

6789998212 — Dilftaro X Black!fem reader

contains: mentions of sex, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, penetration (f! receive)

YKW??? ik i can always count on you for these requests like you always pull through and tbh you’re an OG for that. I love u man Also: props to anyone who guesses the title’s meaning 😁

You weren’t really a late night call typa person, and in all honesty, neither was Jotaro. But there was something about hearing his voice so raspy and spent over the receiver in the latter PM hours that made you contemplate your innate dislikes.

“I want you here with me. Right now.”

You could practically hear him pouting through the phone. It was amusing because you know he’d never be brave enough to show you this side of him in person.

Rolling onto your back, you laid an arm over your forehead as the other held your phone to your ears.

“But Jojo, you know I have work early in the morning. I can’t just jump out right now.”

Without a beat, the man replied.

“Then let me come over. Jolyne’s fast asleep and won’t even know I’ve popped out. I won’t be gone long enough for her to notice.”

With a faux gasp at his willingness to disregard his parental activities, you giggled into the receiver.

“Jotaro! That’s not a very responsible adult thing to say.”

“Doesn’t matter.” There was the muffled crackling sound of movement on Jotaro’s end. “Right now, I’m not thinking of being a responsible adult, I just know I want to do adult things with you.”

If only the man could see your current expression. It was rare enough to get much out of the man about how he wanted to spend his time with you let alone words like these.

Let it be anybody else and it would have been classified as mild but the fact that it was him?

“Adult things?” You teased. “Like what?”

“Don’t make me say it. I’d rather show you than talk about it.”

His tone was gruff, as usual, but there was an edge to it that you couldn’t decipher. With a hum, you decided to test that edge.

“If you don’t say it out loud then how will I know you’ll actually mean it when you come see me? I need confirmation that you’ll keep your end of the deal.”

“Woman, I—” He couldn’t even finished his words. All he could do was sigh and it amused you because you could even imagine just how done he looked.

But for a few seconds, Jotaro didn’t say much else. You knew the things that made him tick weren’t necessarily the same as your own and sometimes were unexplainable. However, it’s when you heard him warmly hum underneath his breath, that you knew he wasn’t mad.

Oh no, Jotaro was anything but.

“I really want to make love to you but seriously make love to you.” His voice was low but in a very smooth and easy way.

With an upwards hum at his daring words, you encouraged his behaviour.

“Oh? Like ‘put a baby inside of me’ make love or ‘let’s keep going until the AMs’ typa make love?”

The man made an unsure sound.

“Both? I dunno. I just wanna be deep in you — Definitely cum inside you. I haven’t done that in a while.” Hearing him work through his thoughts definitely burned a fiery passion within your heart.

“No, you haven’t.” You softly clarified as you snagged your bottom lip between your teeth, your arm now coming from covering your head and just over your stomach on the blanket.

“In fact…” There was another shuffling sound on the other end of the receiver but this time it was the thick flickering of pages. “It’s been 9 months and 27 days since the last time we fucked raw.”

“You’ve been keeping count?!”

“No, I’ve been journaling it. But yes, I’m aware of how long since it’s last been.” He reinforced.

With a shocked but amused face, you couldn’t help but laugh at the bizarre notion of Jotaro having these intricacies about you archived.

However, it was nice to know he was getting more comfortable with telling you these things. Jotaro could be quite reserved at times, and say things in a way that seemed strange to you, but over the years he’s opened up to you a lot more. His tendencies were so recognisable to you now and if anything, they only turned you on more.

“What’s so funny?” The man asked. He must have heard you snickering.

“Nothing, Jojo.” You ensured. “I’m just thinking that’s the same amount of time it’d take to have a baby so if I wasn’t on anything at the time—“

“I would love to impregnate you multiple times over.” He darkly noted.

Now it was you who was stuttering to find the right words. With your skin growing hot, you tried to ask for clarification.

“Y-you… What, you want more kids?” You muttered.

Jotaro made a thoughtful hum. It was then followed by an even more thoughtful statement.

“No, I don’t think I do. I’d definitely like to see your belly swell with child and your breast leak with milk, but I don’t know if I want the repercussions of a child.”

Surprised at his new found bravery but enticed by his imagined plans for you, you continued to tread icy waters. Bringing your hands underneath the blanket, you probed the man.

“So.” You sultry purred. “You’re saying that if I let you come over you’d knock me up?”

With a deep chuckle the man disagreed.

“No. I’m saying that if you let me round then i’d come to fuck your beautiful pussy, split it open with my cock and then pour my semen into your womb with the intention to bear you with offspring. I’d plug your cunt with my fingers so none of my seed spills but I’d do all of that again and again and again and again till you’re so utterly spent and so full of my come that you wouldn’t even know which ways up — the only thing you’d know is that you’d have to wait those nine months until you see the fruits of our labour.”

Speechless at his words, you could only inhale deep unsteady breaths.

The lewd activities Jotaro had spoken out loud for you was driving you crazy. Knowing he must have been thinking about doing this to you for so long — enough for him to keep count of the days — sparked an unbridged lust within your chest.

Speaking up first, Jotaro broke the silence. His voice didn’t have a hint of amusement in but you knew he felt smug knowing he’d already won you over.

“So? If I knock on your door in 30 minutes time, you’ll open up, yes?” He deadpanned.

With a rather exasperated sigh you had to momentarily close your eyes in order to regather yourself. You know you had work in the morning and you really should advise Jotaro to stay home but there was just no way you could deny him this.

“Don’t worry about knocking.” You breathed. “It’ll already be open.”

A satisfied hum sounded from the other side.

“Good. I’ll see you then.” Jotaro’s voice was a lot more softer before he ended the call.

Removing the phone from your ears, all you could do was stare up at the ceiling in shock, albeit a shock that continued to flame the warm feeling that was circulating around your body.

You know he said to give him half an hour but you also knew Jotaro would find a way to make it in much less.

Finally deciding you should get ready for him, you slipped yourself out of bed and made your way to put something a bit more revealing on.

With a coy smile, your lips turned up at the corners.

Maybe late night calls weren’t so bad after all.

#jotaro x black reader #jotaro scenarios #jotaro imagines #jotaro headcanons #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #jotaro imagine

[mahkari]

been meaning to ask for awhile now and now I feel brave enough to, can I hear about the fanverse incident

claps my hands together . so this might get long you’re just going to have to bear with me . some details may be foggy in my head because it’s been probably a year since ive cared or really paid much more attention than what my friends told me to it but this is , essentially , what i remember the most and what makes the fanverse a fucking disaster

so the fanverse predates the Republican donation stuff by about a year . when it was announced i think the games that stood out the most to people were the joy of creation , popgoes , candy’s , flumpty’s , and the fnaf 1 remaster ( that i’ll spend so much time on . there’s so much stuff on phisnom alone ) . TJOC and candy’s don’t really have a lot to say on them , because the creators are normal people ( ? ) who just wanted to make fnaf fan projects , and if they could make some money via assistance from Scott by means such as selling on steam and possible merchandise , of course they were gonna take it

i don’t wanna say that the cracks started to show when the creator of flumpty was outed as a pedophile and openly admitted to it and banned himself from any online space to go better himself or whatever , but i will say that you could probably guess things were only going to go downhill from there when Scott made no public statement . i guess if you’re a dick rider you can argue that fnaf has an audience of children who don’t really need to be hearing a lengthy statement from the series creator about how pedophilia is a bad thing because Obviously , but he Has made statements about that before . he cut ties with pinkypills ( supposedly ) because of her comics that portrayed william as a pedophile . this isn’t meant to come off as a defense of pinkypills because she’s a genuinely terrible person , but one would think that a real life human person grooming a minor and admitting to it would be worse than possibly having someone read a comic that would have others perceive your fictional character as a pedophile . moving on

popgoes is being developed by kane carter who’s his own brand of something . he has such a bad tendency of saying stupid shit on his Twitter and then when someone goes ‘hey man this sounds a little stupid’ he will bug out and post some heated rant before going nuclear and locking his account , rinse and repeat for however many years it’s been . <- that’s why i joke that i have beef with him . because he did that to me circa 2020 when i made a joke about his old sister location theory about it being an underground sex dungeon or something He just had to make sure i knew at 14 years old that he wasn’t serious ! and it was a product of lack of knowledge of the time or whatever . i don’t hold that against him btw i just think it’s objectively a little funny . i think in terms of fanverse reception popgoes is still held in a really high regard because it seems to be one of the only projects that’s still actually being fucking worked on . if kane carter wasn’t such a fucking bizarre guy on his Twitter im sure that he’d still have a crumb of good faith left to anyone other than the people who have been following him since he made popgoes as a one off thing and probably feel some sort of obligation to keep going

Stares At You . and phisnom . phisnom is a special guy . he was the one who was assigned to remake fnaf 1 but make it Scarier or something . i feel it’s important to say that phisnom has gone on record saying that redesigns ( such as the ones in analog horror ) that just take the base design but make it grimy and ‘scarier’ are lazy and don’t actually add anything to their base design . i don’t inherently disagree with his take but seriously look at this

yeah man you’re really dodging the ‘making it scarier just because’ allegations with this one . i honestly think that aside from the joy of creation which is just like a really impressive fan game this was probably the second most hyped up one because it was being sold as a remake to the first and it was being funded by Scott’s money . objectively for the time it felt a little bit cool and i drew fan art for it ( which i still think is cute . i wish that phisnom didn’t suck so much fucking cock and balls so that i didn’t feel bad about looking at it but it’s whatever )

where the problems with phisnom reach a head is that he’s a cunt . like really just a cunt i don’t know how else to put it . there’s nothing wrong with someone wanting to have an audience of adults or whatever especially if the thought of having an audience of children makes you uncomfortable there is Nothing wrong with that , but when you sign on to make a remake of FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS you need to know what kind of fan base you’re signing up for .

phisnom’s twitter is 18+ , but he would get interactions from minors all the time . whether or not you blame the minors is up to you i guess but Again , when you’re posting about your five nights at Freddy’s project unless its just straight up porn it’s kind of absurd to think that everyone here is going to be a strong hearty adult . like let’s be so for real we all know the adults in the room aren’t funding your fan game .

what you probably heard is that after he played the ruin dlc he didn’t like it . since the dlc had just come out it had its recency bias and a kid replied to his tweet about it and then phisnom quote retweeted them and inadvertently sent his audience who aren’t stalking him for fnaf over to this child and send him gore and porn . obviously a person can’t control what their fan base does but when people were like ‘hey dude your community is sending a child gore and porn’ instead of making a tweet like ‘i don’t want you guys to do that’ he posted an ‘apology’ that just led back to a rick roll . obviously at this point he kind of just looks like an edgy child and people go to their lord and savior Scott Cawthon to get something done

by the way , i didn’t mention this yet , but this phisnom stuff happened in like July-august of last year , so it’s not like this was that long ago . that being said you also have to wonder Hey . where’s fnaf+ by now . because that was also the question that a lot of people ran back to . so you’re getting funded by both Scott cawthon and an audience of fans who are expecting a project that the creator himself managed to shit out in about a month , while you’ve been given three years to recreate some source material and you’re not done yet ? what’s taking so long ?

all of this combined into one melting pot led fnaf+ to getting canceled . go figure . scott never released his own statement on it because he’s off doing god knows but phisnom did , which basically said he’s done with fnaf and don’t ask about it or fnaf+ as a project anymore because he’s not completing it and he would like to do other project .

im sure there’s stuff i missed because of the aforementioned brain fog all the way at the start but yes . the fanverse is a fucking disaster . the joy of creation and candy’s are pretty good though

#kari answers #long post

[vacant2007]

goofy things i do

-mentally shut down as soon as i try to type this because oh my god why would you commit your thoughts to text. what are you some kind of self-obsessed ignorant tool

-hype myself up for like 3 days to finally make a Funnie Joak that ive been planning for like 2 years. if nobody laughs at joke, kill self

-walk thru grocery store shopping normally but vibrating with fear and absolutely certain everybody there hates every fiber of my being and would love to see me dead

-almost cry when thinking about how i exist and how unappealing and gross i am and how i cannot take myself seriously because i am so subhuman and repulsive and pointless that even wishing someone would love me is an unholy amount of embarrassing that i cant even begin to process

-if someone mentions an interest of mine casually, immediately clam up and do my damndest to pretend i barely care because if they see me like visibly react or get excited or anything it will be SO confusing and weird and cringe and it will be the talk of the century for them when im not around. or worse they will say 'lol why do you like that so much' which as we all know is a valid reason to consider suicide

-never keep a journal even in private. you think im just gonna say how i feel about things directly? so that the audience of nobody can mock me? i think the fuck not

-behaving bizarrely secretively about purchases and things i buy because id actually rather die than be asked why i bought something/wanted something

-want to hurl myself off a cliff when asked things like 'what's your favorite movie'

-lie about random shit for no reason like oh my god they will hate me FOREVER if i tell them i went to Walmart. I'm gonna say i uhhhhh went to the library. ok cool

-push the existence of new acquaintances who might want to be my friend so fucking far out of my mind that i genuinely forget to attempt contacting them

-get new clothes i think are cool, then never wear them because i feel like the worlds stupidest silly little boy in my shitty little fit

-before stating a fact to someone in a text or whatever, even if i know the fact is 100% true, google it and check it from multiple sources multiple times and read them over and over to make sure i'm not misunderstanding or misreading or otherwise about to make a fool of myself by saying something like, grass is green. once i am satisfied that i will Not sound stupid for stating that grass is green, press send and wait in agony

-on walks around the neighborhood with earbuds in, check every 30 seconds to make sure they're actually connected and that nobody is hearing my music. not only because it would seem really inconsiderate and strange to be blasting music out in public, but also because they will probably think the songs i like are really stupid

-put everybody i interact with into categories based on which sensitive aspects of myself i am willing to share with them at any given time. don't mix them up! i can't be telling personal-emotional stuff to the infodumps guy or vice versa.

-get so violently upset when someone is a little rude that i fantasize about beating them to a pulp while in reality i am just hiding and holding back tears

-avoid being seen in public spaces as much as possible because everytime someone's eyes notice me i feel like they are full of malice even though i cannot adequately explain what malice looks like in a person's eyes. best to just assume all gazes are malignant, then

-wonder why i am So Alone And Lonely while the unread DMs and text messages pile up on me, or fizzle out because I didn't say anything meaningful back

-leave behind me a series of friendly people who probably did try their best to include me and get to know me, but i couldn't find it in me to trust or listen to

-everytime i have to do something no matter how normal it is, wait till someone else does it first so i can gauge whether anyone thought they were stupid or weird and if not, copy exactly how they do it

-worry this is a stupid list

-wonder if there's enough things on this list or if i'm forgetting something that was crucial to The Vibe of it and without it the post will just seem dumb

-put this in the drafts as soon as i get done typing it, where it will ostensibly rot for all of time!



#eh maybe ill post it lol like #maybe somebody with avpd will see it and go 'oh me. lol' and it will encourage me to look into this further #sorry though LMAO i will hopefully get back to using this blog for what i usually use it for soon.i just. dont want this on my main #probably for these exact reasons! #vent cw #personal #suicide mention #tw suicidality #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #(potentially. maybe. said in a very trigger-shy way) #actuallytraumatized #actuallyabused

[theblackdragon-studios]

Helluva Boss S2 E7 Reaction Notes

I finally watched the latest episode of Helluva Boss, and I wrote down my thoughts and reactions during. Here they are.

Warning: Contains spoilers to the episode

Thoughts as I watch:

-I wondered what Mammon’s voice would be…Cockney was NOT on my list of expectations. Wow. XD (Edit after rewatch: I think it’s actually Australian…thickly Australian. I could be wrong but it sounds either Cockney or Australian now I rewatched it.)

-Huh, Fizz and Blitz were fans of him when they were young…

-Only in Hell does anyone actually WANT to be a clown. XD

-Weird how Blitzo is so weirded out by Mammon’s pitch about working with him…though actually Blitzo really wanted to run his own circus, so maybe that’s why.

-I love how obvious this guy is. XD The jabs being made at corporate bosses here through this asshole’s whole character so far…they’re terrible at lying, yet people believe it anyway

Blitzo is all of us that caught onto the bullshit. XD This episode is so great already.

-Going for the jugular with that “women just aren’t funny” line. XD 1.) the show is by a woman. And 2.) …yeah. Most of them really aren’t funny to me. XD I know that probably wasn’t the joke (women comedians aren’t funny…), and we obviously aren’t supposed to like him, but yeah.

But also the “written by Vivienne Medrano” credit, AKA Vivziepop herself I think. That was great. XD

-“it’s not weird. You’re weird!” “It’s not exploitation” Exactly what Hollywood says now to anyone being critical of their stuff. Seriously, first South Park and now this…bravo adult comedy people. Just bravo.

Also playing an electric guitar version of “Carmen” I think it is. XD Even more clever, as that song was about how shady and manipulative that woman was if I remember right.

-…weird to hear adult Blitzø’s voice on his teenage self. Though I guess he went through puberty already. lol And I think Fizz’s adult voice is partially because of the fire accident.

-And now taking a jab at the entitled fans out there that aren’t giving constructive criticism and are demanding things then being all butthurt when they’re rejected. Finally an episode I fully get the social commentary on. lol

-$69.99 Subtle. Very subtle. XD (and “no refunds: if you don’t like it, it’s your fault”)

-I LOVE Ozzie here. You go man! Yeah he has his flaws too, even as a demon…but he is so sweet and so honest with Fizz it’s great. I also love the message here about both being a perfectionist…and being a people-pleaser. Destroying yourself to especially please someone that doesn’t give a fuck about you…because you think that gives you your worth. Especially after his accident… I have a lot of thoughts on this, but I’ll see where things go.

-Asmodeus calling Blitzø…somehow the most bizarre thing on the show yet. XD And how Blitzø is perfectly chill about it. Well I know for one, Blitzø knows about Fizz and Ozzie’s relationship and is happy his friend is happy…but I think this is also more evidence Blitzø wasn’t that upset at being picked on by Oz, and instead by being called out by his ex-friend, ex-girlfriend, and Stolas acting ashamed of their own relationship (which is transactional only he thinks…)

But he is at least a little polite when talking to Ozzie. lol So that’s nice.

-…the horse thing. He is STILL on the horse thing. Oh my gosh.

-Vivzie and her team are treating us to so much great stuff lately! First Stolas and Ozzie working together, and now Blitzø and Ozzie. This is comedy gold! Also Ozzie’s happy smile at the end of that scene when Blitzø said yes. Why are all these bird demons so cute? XD

-First, I still love Ozzie’s theme music (it’s the song from his debut episode) and second, cool to see his less flashy, public appearance in other parts of hell look from that first episode he’s in too. It looks really good on him.

And it’s cool seeing a Deadly Sin icon being more subtle outside of his ring. Makes me wonder what Bee looks like when she’s trying not to steal the show.

-Eh spoke too soon on Blitzø and Ozzie teaming up. Ozzie left, but I understand why.

-More jabs at Hollywood and their harmful treatment of their stars through Mammon calling an already incredibly thin Fizz fat

-Huh that rock music…I know I’ve heard it in the show before. I think this IS the Greed ring’s music…but I can’t remember.

-I figured one rescue and hug wouldn’t fix everything…but Fizz clearly no longer hates Blitzø and vice versa, and they are friends again it looks like. But I wonder if Fizz still has anxiety about Blitzø being at a performance of his…or maybe he’s just suspicious because Blitzø has always been openly critical of Mammon and these shows.

-“Smile inside and out”…I’m surprised Fizz doesn’t have depression like Stolas…

-Interesting how the background demons in this scene are just silhouettes. I don’t know if that’s to emphasize how he’s this colorful entertainment prop and toy for them and they represent real world fans…or if it was to save on work load

-Ooh these girls (the twin performers) look like they’re from the Envy ring (Leviathan’s ring) by the fish-like look of them

-I used to find Fizz annoying…but seeing him in the last episode and this one, he’s more like Moxxie. Too nice for this world when it comes to one-on-one conversation with the way he was so polite to those contest participants

-Oh yeah! Mammon said women aren’t funny. XD Ha! I thought that was just a joke for the opening, but he actually called back to it

To be honest I didn’t think any of their acts were funny though. Just cool acrobatics and talented crafting

-More “clearly the money-greedy corporate bosses don’t care about you, their stars, or anything but what sells”.

-I know people will still find reasons to hate this episode, but I find it hard to think of anything they could hate without really reaching for something

Actually…they’ll probably complain that Mammon-who is fat-is an asshole and they made him fat because of it…when really, I think it represents the greed thing. He’s supposed to be the stereotype of those fat business men in old cartoons and movies. But as a jester. (Edit: And because spiders have big abdomens)

(Edit after looking through the Helluva Boss tag seeing the nitpicks and complaints: Called it. And a few other things they really zeroed in on just to find something to hate about this. 🙄)

-Giant hellhound background character…was not expecting that. XD

-Fuck…they didn’t have to include that moment with the sign language. But they did…that’s so sweet

Though seeing that kid’s horns…I wonder if their horns also act as their ears? Because his are broken… or maybe he’s mute, not deaf, but Fizz still signed back (despite being exhausted, miserable, and wanting to win this and go home I bet) to show that kid deaf or not, that he took the time to learn for demons like that kid. (Edit: I rewatched it and the kid only had one broken horn in the later scene he’s in. …and I forgot Fizz’s horns are also broken but he can hear just fine…so ignore this theory from when I was watching…)

-…oh my gosh. The entitled fan is back now. This is absolutely commentary on both Hollywood and the Twitter freaks. So good.

-Entitled Fan remembers Blitzø too? Huh.

-Mammon’s 8 eyes…NOW all the webs around the place make sense. And all I can say is YES. Perfect design for the demon of GREED to have spider themes to him. It makes me think of Slughorn from Harry Potter, who was envisioned as a spider spinning his web representing his habit of collecting and exploiting the success of graduating students.

-Fizz making excuses for a shitty boss…also way too real...

-Again…seeing the twins’ performance, clowns must mean something else in this world. That wasn’t funny. It was cool though.

-Ozzie’s back! Yes! He’s so sweet to Fizz…and getting stuck in the door. XD

-Fizz is every famous person that is losing popularity to new things…the ones that cling onto it desperately instead of bowing out with dignity and what they have left…

-I know how Fizz feels here too…feeling he only has all the good things he does because of his fame...he thinks because he doesn’t look as great without it, that he’ll lose his relationship with Ozzie…

But man this couple is so healthy with each other. They try to be very private and secretive (and fail) which is straining, but they communicate with each other and they don’t allow for room for any misunderstandings…I hope we see more Bee and Tex too in the future (Bee might need a new VA if Ke$ha is still dealing with things or too expensive to hire) but these two couples will I hope play a part in Blitzø and Stolas’s drama with how they’ve shown they are in love with low-class demons as well…

Though Goetia are very different from the Deadly Sins…they isolate themselves from the lower class, while the Sins thrive on their company since they feed off their energy or it helps business and stuff.

-Oh my gosh, another Fizzmodeus song! Yes! And the adorable dance…man…I love these two! 💜

-Thank you, Blitzø! The entitled fan guy has been asking for it! And yes. You tell Fizzmodeus off for being hypocrites. XD He has every right to be mad after they bullied his friends. XD

-Oh man I see why the broadway version on Beetlejuice is Fizz now! That was an amazing song! Also Ozzie helping him. XD And getting…a bit more excited than he should. Hilarious. And Blitzø’s part helping too! This trio was awesome!

-The way the cheering kids track plays when Mammon appears in front of Fizz. XD I didn’t notice that until now.

-Yes! Get him Ozzie! Fight! Fight! Fight! Two Deadly Sins in their full power forms! Yes!

-Oh my gosh, the con artist Imp saying ‘I say I say’ again. XD He keeps showing up!

-Ozzie’s animal sound effects…so cool! And the twisting, lashing tails…I love how all-out they go with him being a mix of three animals! Cause Asmodeus apparently is described as having three heads (hence the two shadow heads in his mane) and this design shows that so well! I love it!

-Yeah I think Fizzmodeus being open will help a lot in several things. Including upper class demons getting their heads out of their asses about this stuff.

-This final frame is perfect! XD

Basically I loved this episode. It was so fun and I loved the worldbuilding seeing the leader of the Greed ring, and of course Fizzmodeus being adorable as always! 💜

I do think clown has a different meaning in Hell…but we did only see some of what they did. Most of the humor for me was definitely in the social commentary stuff. And as this is a show for adults…that is what you expect. Jokes about adult problems and mature themes. I got exactly what I was expecting from it.

#helluva boss #helluva boss episode review #(sort of) #blackdragon speaks #spoilers

[werebutch]

HAI!!!! HOW WAS YOUR CHRIMMY .. I HOPED IT WAS GOOD!!! :DD I got an axe (that is also a window breaker, knife, and compass and probably more but im fucking stupid), a wolf knife, BASS SKULLCANDY HEADPHONES THAT ARE LITERALLY INSANE, a robot dog LOL, a book about wolves, a mimecraft goat plush, a three days grace shirt, THE WITCHER FOR SWITCH and finally (well I can't remember rn) a vibrator that is a hammer because it made me laugh once and bjørn thought it was too good. HAHAA. and I went to a family Christmas FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WAS SO NICE I MET HIS FAMILY AND FELT SOO INCLUDED..T_T I love other rednecks. BAHAHA. <3 look they're in love. (Their son in the center) HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY I LOVE YOU!!!!

Hi bex don’t worry it did send:) YAY!!!!!!! So glad to hear from u ilysm hiiiii wow that sounds so awesome ^__^ THATS SO FUCKING COOL… you got so much cool stuff this year omfg?!?!!seriously.. THATS SO COOL DAWGGG… love the hammer omfg all of these things are so u HAHAH.. HIS as in bjorn or his as in one of ur emo bitches?LMAO THAT SOUNDS SO NICE.. I’m so glad you got to have a good xmas sorry I’m like so happy for u I just don’t even know what to say LOLLLL.. wow that’s a whole family pic so beautiful ♥️♥️ you have to tell me specifically what headphones cuz..omfg.. I want to see how much $…. LOL

My Christmas was pretty nice on Xmas eve we went to my bff’s family’s huuuuge party I had a couple drinks but I did not feel it so that was a little sad cuz I hate alcohol so I drank it for NOTHING!!!!!!BAHAHAH BUT it was fun 😁 they had some really good food.. it was really funny cuz my bff still calls me this random nickname from my animal jam days so I fully had his family members calling me that since that’s all he told them.. so bizarre and funny to hear out loud LOL.

Xmas day my BFFs family got me some stuff but they don’t really know what I like soooHAHA but it’s cute!! I like the bread sponges.. also gave me a couple little things of vodka and rum LOL but yes.. we played a bunch of games and mtg which he’s super into now.. and mostly just chilled out!!! Having a lot of good food lately as well :)

Me and my family had xmas before I left so I will show u my stuff when I get home.. apparently all of it didn’t arrive in time so I will have more when I get back lol^__^

#sorry I’m like really out of it lately I hope im explaining and talking ok im like . I DONT EVEN KNOW? ??????? #im so glad you’re doing well ilysmmmmmmmm #asks #canidor

[anonymous-dentist]

A huge thank you for 500 kudos on You're Dead. Seriously, it's insane and I still can't believe that it happened. I've never had anything get this popular. I didn't think I'd even hit 100, and I remember frantically dming Anonymous J about when I hit 50 kudos around like chapter 3.

As I promised, here's a oneshot for 500 kudos:

The night Sapnap died.

:)

-

Ring! Ring! 

Karl groans and pulls a pillow over his face, head throbbing. He just fell asleep after staying awake for three days straight, what the fuck, Quackity? He literally asked you not to call, Quackity, you clingy fucker. 

It can’t be that important. Not really. Half the time, Quackity calls just because he wants to hear Karl’s voice while stuck at work. This was true back when Schlatt was alive, and it’s doubly true now that Karl has the freedom to come and bother his almost-boyfriend at work and simply chooses not to. Quackity, despite all appearances and airs otherwise, is a clingy motherfucker. So is Karl. They really are soulmates, aren’t they? 

But, even if it’s not that important, Karl thinks he might just drown if he doesn’t hear Quackity’s voice, so he forces himself to throw his arm out and scramble around for his phone. He pulls it over to him after some amount of difficulty and sits up, plopping the phone into his lap and sleepily lifting the receiver up and putting it to his ear. 

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” he yawns, finger mindlessly twisting in the phone’s cord. 

It’s dead silent from the other end of the line (pun intended), and it takes long enough for Karl to hear anything that he starts thinking that maybe this was a prank call. Tommy likes to do those when he visits Quackity, the little shit. Karl should remove his tongue one of these days, or, well, he should get Foolish to do it. Too much blood for Karl’s liking. Too much effort. Blegh. 

But then eventually after sooooo loooong, Quackity says in a weak voice and with an audible tremble in his body, “Karl.”

And that’s all he says, just Karl’s name, and that alone is a red flag. 

Karl sobers up quickly, frowning. “Hey, hey, what’s up?”

Because Quackity has rules. They’re mostly leftover from Schlatt’s reign, Karl thinks, but who knows? Quackity is a weird guy. He’ll call Karl, but he’ll never address him by name. Originally, it was to protect Karl in case Schlatt or his guys got suspicious. It wasn’t an affair in the beginning, but it was a forbidden work partnership (mostly because of Karl’s fun habit of stealing from Schlatt’s desk when in the office.) But then it was an affair, and even now that Schlatt’s dead, it still is, by all means, an affair. No one knows Schlatt’s dead except the guy that killed him, the guy that burned the body, and the guy that stumbled onto the scene thinking it would be just another sneaky sleepover. 

So. Weird, strange, bizarre, even. And worrying, definitely worrying. 

Quackity sucks in a shaky breath, and that’s also worrying because he only breathes when he forgets that he doesn’t need to and for dramatic effect. He’s so human, even after being dead for twenty-odd years. It’s a panic response, normally, and that’s… it’s…

Karl sits silently as Quackity stammers over a sentence starter. 

And then a near-silent, “Karl, I fucked up.”

“Okay,” Karl gently says, “I’m sure you didn’t, but okay. You’re a very capable guy, Quackity. I’m sure that whatever it was couldn’t’ve-”

“I killed a guy,” Quackity flatly says. 

“Yes, and? So the fuck what? That’s hot as hell. Good for you.”

“Karl.”

“Quackity.”

“I killed him-” Quackity says, but he already sounds just that tiniest bit better, so Karl thinks that he did his job as a good soulmate. Good almost-boyfriend. Maybe he’ll get promoted! “-because he tried to kill me.”

Karl sobers up slightly, just slightly. “Okay, that’s still fine, babe. Self defense. No need to feel all weird about it.”

He’s angry, because of course he is. How dare someone try and kill his mortal! His Quackity. No one else’s. His. He’s only just recently gotten himself his Quackity, and he doesn’t quite know how vampire souls work. He’s gotta keep Quackity around forever at this point, ‘cause who knows what happens to a dead guy’s soul when he dies again? 

He’s angry, but at least the despicable motherfucker is dead already. Hell yeah! Quackity is so hot for that. 

“I have a stake in my chest,” Quackity says. He laughs a little, weak and bitter-sounding. “I haven’t been stabbed before, Karl. I don’t- I don’t think I like it very much.”

Okay, angry again. Definitely angry again. 

Karl immediately pulls his blankets off of himself and gets out of bed, rushing around the room to try and find some more presentable clothes, phone in one hand and receiver still in the other. He trips over the outlet cord and slams his head into the doorframe, recoiling with a wince and a curse. 

“What are you doing?” Quackity asks, probably rightfully wary. He knows Karl well enough by now to know that Karl doing anything in a hurry will probably end up with at least one broken bone or window. 

Fuck, no clothes around. Karl winkles his nose annoyedly. Of course this would happen when all his clothes are in the laundry. Pajamas it is. 

Still carrying the phone with him, Karl stumbles his way out of his bedroom and out into the main room looking for a pair of shoes he wouldn’t mind wearing barefoot. 

He yawns, “Where are you? Office?”

“Karl-”

“Where are you?”

“Karl, it’s fine, I’m-”

“Quackity,” Karl firmly, yet as lovingly as inhumanly possible, says. He pauses in his search and tries with all his might to get it through Quackity’s adorably-thick skull. “I’m coming over. Where are you?”

There’s a long pause from Quackity and some quiet sniffles that break Karl’s heart a dozen times over. 

And then, thick and quiet, “Home. I’m… at home. Just, be, uh, uh…”

“I’ll be careful,” Karl sighs. He spots a pair of Vans across the room and goes to them, sitting down on the floor to pull them on. “Just for you. Do you have a first aid kit there?”

“Yeah, duh. I have to with you staying over half the week.”

Karl blushes proudly, though he puts on an annoyed voice as he grumbles, “I don’t get hurt that often.”

Quackity laughs wetly. It quickly turns into a pained wheeze and a quiet whine. Karl briefly considers trying to turn back time long enough for him to run to… wherever it was that Quackity got stabbed and killed that dude at so he can try and kill the dude first, but he also knows that doing so would probably banish him back home for the foreseeable future, and he can’t go back, not without Quackity and… and… and whoever the other one is these days. Some idiot, probably, some hot, hot idiot. 

Karl bites back a sympathetic whine of his own, says, “Hey, calm down, alright? I’m on my way. Gotta hang up, though.”

Quackity whines again, this time louder. It’s times like these that remind Karl that his precious mortal isn’t nearly as human as he tries to be. They’re very similar in that regard, now, even though it does hurt Karl’s teeny little human heart to think that Quackity was human and now… isn’t. 

He doesn’t know how vampires are made, but he does know that there’s death involved. It’s not pretty. He asked Sam about it once a while ago when trying to figure out vampire stuff so he could woo Quackity properly. Sam said something about an “exchange of fluids”, which was too funny for Karl to forget even though he’s kinda sorta totally forgotten everything else about that conversation. 

Exchange of fluids. Heh. 

“Fifteen minutes,” Karl promises, finishing tying his shoes. The knots are loose, but that’s fine. It’s more for appearances than anything. “Gimme fifteen minutes.” He doesn’t hesitate before adding, “I love you.”

It isn’t surprising that Quackity doesn’t say it back. One, he’s kinda got a wooden stake probably impaling a lung or something. Two, he’s Quackity. He doesn’t say he loves you. When he does, he’s scared. Karl knows this, and he’s pretty alright with it. It’s annoying, yeah, and it’s sad as hell, but he loves Quackity and says it enough for the both of them. 

“I…” Quackity hesitantly says. A pause, and then a sigh. “I’ll get the first aid kit. I’ll see you soon.”

He doesn’t hang up, because he’s a clingy motherfucker. Sometimes, Karl thinks about finally going through with it and giving in and getting a cell phone and learning to use it just so he and Quackity can actually always be together, but, frankly, no. 

And so Karl hangs up, and it’s only as he’s shrugging a coat on and running out the door that he realizes that he doesn’t know a thing about stake removal. Oops. 

-

Karl hates Quackity’s new apartment. It’s smelly and gross and unsafe and probably rat-infested and- and- 

Quackity moved pretty recently. Schlatt’s been dead for several months now, but it took Quackity weeks to move out of their empty penthouse apartment. But he won’t move in with Karl, no, because he’s stubborn and overprotective to a fault. No, because Schlatt made too many enemies, and Quackity is left cleaning up his mess for him. There’s a hunter, Karl knows, that Schlatt had a deal with, and Quackity has been trying to get that hunter off of his tail for months now. It got to the point that he finally had to move because the hunter kept showing up at his apartment every Friday asking for Schlatt. It’s “too dangerous” for Quackity to move in with Karl for that reason, and because of Schlatt’s enemies in general. Quackity wouldn’t be able to take it if Karl died (even though Karl is immortal and he keeps reminding Quackity that he’s immortal) because of his mistakes (even though they’re Schlatt’s mistakes in the first place.)

The penthouse was nice, Karl decides as he shoves open Quackity’s building’s front door and immediately almost steps in a puddle of some weird green liquid on the ground. The penthouse was very nice. Maybe Karl should get Foolish to hook him and Quackity up with a penthouse suite at the hotel he’s almost done building across town. Permanently. No stupid idiot hunter can find you at a hotel, because they’re all stupid and idiots. 

But when Karl gets to Quackity’s apartment and immediately hears Quackity rapidly unlocking the door, he can’t help the rush of pure joy that comes at the thought of entering his almost-boyfriend’s home. It’s a shitty home, but it’s a home that Quackity has made for himself over the past few months. His things are on the shelves, his sheets are on the bed, his shampoo is in the shower, stuff he’s chosen for himself for basically the first time since his marriage started turning south. Even if his bedspread is ugly as sin and even if he keeps his bathroom mirror covered up, it’s his apartment. Karl considers himself lucky to be allowed inside of it. 

The door creaks open and Karl gets tugged inside by the wrist in a flash, unable to really catch himself before he has a very clingy vampire plastering himself to Karl’s side and sticking his nose into the crook of Karl’s neck. 

Karl smiles fondly and pats Quackity on the back of the head. He doesn’t comment on the lack of a beanie covering Quackity’s hair. He doesn’t think he could deal with Quackity panicking over that. 

There’s a bit of a gigantic wooden stake sticking out of Quackity’s chest and bumping against Karl’s. Karl’s smile falls to a very displeased frown. 

“Where’s the first aid kit?” he asks. 

Quackity shakes his head. He sniffs deeply and nuzzles his nose against Karl’s throat right where his pulse is. Ah. Vampire. 

Karl gently pulls away from Quackity, heart breaking at the way Quackity keens. His eyes are an unpleasant shade of red flickering in and out. Ah. Vampire. 

Karl vaguely remembers what to do when Quackity gets like this, mostly from a list of instructions Quackity typed up and gave to him almost immediately after their first meeting. He only gets like this when he’s really hurt, though, or starving. Judging by the murder weapon currently sticking out of his chest, Karl would guess it’s the former. 

“Quackity,” Karl slowly says. He waits for a sign of recognition and smiles warmly when Quackity’s eyes light up. “I gotta go get the first aid kit, baby. You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Quackity grumbles. 

Karl rolls his eyes. “Sure you are, yeah, right, ‘kay, where’s the first aid kit? Gotta get that big ol’ stake out of you, honey.”

The stake really is big. Karl isn’t a stake expert or anything, but he’s pretty sure that the guy whose stake this was was compensating for something. Honestly, it’s a wonder that Quackity isn’t dead on his feet. 

Well. Deader on his feet. He’s kinda already dead, fucking rip. 

Quackity’s nose twitches, but he eventually lets Karl go in search of the first aid kit after a brief staredown. He follows, though, and Karl can feel his eyes on the back of the neck the whole time he looks. 

Vampires are not human. They look human and, for the most part, they act it. But they’re also- as the humans say- monsters. Some people call them parasites, and that’s not entirely inaccurate. They’re freaky night beasts. When their instincts get the better of them, they’re a force to be reckoned with. Luckily, that doesn’t happen a lot, just really to vampires that get too hurt or too hungry, right on death’s door. 

Normally, a feral, dying vampire would go apeshit and rip Karl to shreds, but Karl knows better than to expect that from Quackity. Quackity is special. Years ago, Quackity admitted with a red face and a very sheepish expression that since he’s basically decided that Karl is going to be his forever person or whatever the official vampire term is that he’d probably just want to hold onto Karl and never let go if he went feral around him. And Karl said that that wouldn’t be too out of the norm, and Quackity scowled and weakly smacked him, and Karl laughed, and that was that. 

This has only happened a handful of times in the years that Karl has known him, but it usually goes something like this. It’s just that this time it’s because of a near-death experience rather than the usual starvation. 

But, Karl thinks as he catches a glance of Quackity hungrily staring at his neck, maybe it is some starvation, too. He’ll have to talk to him about that when he’s more sober. Karl stops trying to get killed stealing things for the shop, Quackity remembers to eat more now that he’s allowed to. 

But Karl finds the first aid kit, and he plops it onto Quackity’s ugly bedspread and he gently maneuvers Quackity so that he’s sitting down next to it. He swears that Quackity purrs from the touch, but he’d never admit it if only because it’d be too cute for Karl to process right now. He has Work to do. 

A vampire’s most basic instincts are to hunt and to kill and to survive. But Karl knows that Quackity’s most basic instinct is to love. He sees it in Quackity’s red, red eyes as he crouches down in front of Quackity and measures up the stake with his eyes. Right. Big stake. Small vampire. 

He tries not to react as Quackity threads a hand through Karl’s hair, his other hand settling on Karl’s shoulder. It curls around Karl’s neck and gently cups it, his thumb stroking against Karl’s Adam’s apple. 

See, he tries to react, but he’s just as disgustingly in love with Quackity as Quackity is with him, so Karl lets out a pleased hum and lets his freckles shift colors from their normal yucky human color. Quackity loves his freckles, he says as much every time he presses feathery kisses to Karl’s cheeks. Quackity doesn’t love with his words, but he loves with his actions. 

Karl runs a finger along the stake’s length with a deep frown. This is going to be… difficult. 

“This is gonna hurt,” he warns. Should he wash his hands or something? Can vampires get infected? They can’t get sick, but do infections count as illnesses? Mortals are weird… 

“It already does,” Quackity grunts. He resituates himself so that he’s lying down on his back with his feet still planted on the floor, pulling Karl with him. He must see the hesitation and worry in Karl’s eyes because he smiles, fangs and all, and says, “I’m already dead, baby, you won’t kill me again.”

His voice is rough and pained, but he’s still trying to be comforting, and he’s just so- so ugh! Karl loves him! 

Not remotely assured, Karl lets out a breath before leaning down just that tiniest bit more to press a kiss right between Quackity’s eyes. He tries not to giggle as Quackity goes cross-eyed trying to see, but he fails pretty miserably and just has to kiss him again to make up for it. 

“Sorry about this,” he murmurs, both hands settling around the stake in a firm grip. He kisses Quackity a third time, warmth flooding through his whole body as Quackity’s head lifts up a bit as he pulls away, chasing him. “I love you. Don’t kill me for this.”

“I would never,” Quackity swears, and Karl knows he wouldn’t. 

With one last gentle assurance, Karl braces himself against the floor and the bed and pulls, eyes squeezing shut as Quackity’s face contorts in pain. He can’t see that. He can’t. 

Quackity screams, voice cracking and disappearing entirely after only a fraction of a second. His hand in Karl’s hair tugs tightly and his nails dig into Karl’s skin and Karl can feel him writhing in pain beneath him, but the stake has to come out. It has to. 

The stake is slick with brackish vampire blood, slipping between Karl’s fingers. He grits his teeth against his soulmate’s pain and yanks the damn thing out before he loses hold of it entirely. 

It pops free of Quackity’s chest with a sickening schlunk!. The momentum is enough to send Karl tumbling to the floor and out of Quackity’s grasp. His eyes fly open as he hits the ground with an oof, and the last thing he sees before everything goes dark is the expected sight of a very hungry and injured vampire swooping down with his fangs bared and his eyes a flaring, flaming red. 

-

Karl wakes up to Quackity curled up next to him on the floor pretending not to cry. He looks better, at least, though he’s covered in blood- a mixture of Karl’s, his own, and what has to be the random dead hunter’s. 

Karl lightly groans and rolls onto his side, throwing an arm across Quackity’s hip and snuggling close. He’s lightheaded, but that’ll pass. He just had a liter or two of blood stolen from him, that’s all. He’d give that and more for either one of his mortals. It just so happens that Quackity is the one that’s here now. 

“Karl?” Quackity asks. He’s wary, as he usually is after drinking from Karl in that way. Yeah, he’ll sometimes take a quick sip if he’s feeling a little peckish, but he only ever drains him this much if he’s starving. “How are you feeling?”

“Mmmm,” Karl responds. He curls up into a ball and tucks his head beneath Quackity’s chin. “How’re you doing? Feeling better, baby?”

“Karl, c’mon, don’t make me get the rulebook,” Quackity chides. 

Karl wrinkles his nose. “Nooooo, I’m fine, I’m fine. Just tired from other stuff. I was asleep when you called me.”

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I’ll always come for you.”

“You are pretty good at coming,” Quackity agrees. 

Karl can feel Quackity’s body shaking with silent laughter. Honestly, for an immortal vampire, he has the humor of a middle schooler. He’s so cute. 

“Oh, baby, I love coming for you,” Karl sighs. He kisses Quackity’s collar. “Just tell me to come, and I’ll do it.”

“God, you are disgusting,” Quackity lies, voice disgustingly fond. He’s got a bit of a lisp from his fangs, and it’s cute. He’s cute. “You’re here in your pajamas and a raincoat and- you didn’t even take your shoes off, dude, what the hell?”

“You didn’t give me much of an opportunity to,” Karl snorts. He smiles as Quackity makes an embarrassed noise and as he squirms, putting his arms around Karl and pulling him just that much closer. They’re squished so close together that they’re almost one person. 

“I’m sorry,” Quackity sighs. “So, so sorry. Not for, uh, being weird, but also…”

Karl sighs himself and cranes his head back to look at Quackity. 

Quackity is crying. He’s crying, as he usually does after hurting Karl in any way, least of all blood-sucking, but something about this feels… different. A different kind of guilt. Karl ignores the slight pang of… something in his chest at that. 

“Hey,” he gently says. “I already told you, I don’t give a fuck about you killing that dude. You almost died first. If that thing was any closer to your heart, you’d be dead.”

You kill a vampire by staking them in the heart. Luckily for Quackity, the hunter missed by a couple of inches. Just a couple of inches closer, and Quackity would be a pile of ashes in an alleyway somewhere downtown. Karl is furious, but the guy’s dead, so it doesn’t matter, does it? 

Does it?

Quackity shakes his head, lip wobbling slightly, and Karl wants to kill something. Or, well, he wants to throw something. He talks big game, but he can’t kill a fly. 

“You don’t understand,” Quackity says, a repeat of earlier, and Karl really doesn’t understand. “I don’t care that he’s dead. I just… we… ugh.”

Frustrated, he buries his face in Karl’s shirt. Karl adjusts himself so that they aren’t totally squished together and confusedly rubs Quackity’s back. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Karl says. He would love to know, but not if it’s causing Quackity this much pain. He’ll just have to settle for hearing it later when they’re both, like, okay. 

Quackity shakes his head. “No, I… c’mere.”

He pulls his head up as Karl bows his head, and he whispers something into Karl’s ear, and Karl suddenly understands just why Quackity is so torn up about this particular murder. 

“Oh,” Karl softly says. He frowns slightly, eyebrows furrowed. He’s… jealous? That’s the word for it? “Well.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you want to?”

“...Yeah.”

Karl sighs and kisses Quackity on the cheek, smiling again. How could he not? He has a weird feeling about this, and it’s such an important weird feeling, he thinks he knows what it is. He thinks. He has a good feeling, he thinks. 

“Then that’s all that matters,” he says. He kisses Quackity’s other cheek to even things out, giggling lightly as Quackity flushes red. “Just let me know first next time.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Quackity grumbles. He hides his face again, seemingly content to just stay on the floor. “He’s dead, anyway. It won’t happen again.”

Exchanging fluids… 

Hmm. Maybe Karl should make a note to ask Sam about that. It seems important.

#skeleton appreciation day fic #a.d.'s fics i suppose. #a.d.'s fics i suppose #look i never said it'd be sap's pov :) #gotta say going between writing them being cute and karl noodleman being a total pos is some harsh vibe changing

[trumai-pdf]

SPECTACULAR

Chapter 2: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Woman (1/2)

Master Post: Link

AO3: Link

Summary:

A week after her performance at Max Dillon's club, Gwen ends up meeting with a bizarre villian she's never met before, though their interaction ends up being rather anti climactic while she's in a hurry to meet up with her bandmates back at the school.

[ 1 ], [ x ], [ 3 ], [ 4 ],

As you could see, the life of a Superhero wasn't the most glamorous thing in the world, but for the first time in a while… something didn't go wrong. The Mary Jane’s played three full songs down at Max Dillon’s club, and sure - it wasn't anything fantastic but it was progress. The whole thing was more of an excuse to hang out- well that's how it stared. After what happened to Peter, Gwen and Mary Jane started to play together, just to sorta… think about something else? They've been friends for years, Glory and Betty came in later but Em Jay and her were the original pair. Guess that makes her the co-creator, huh? She certainly didn't act like it with how often she missed their deadlines… oh please, they usually spent their time in the music room goofing around for an hour or two and maybe playing a song or two. Though it has been a week now since their performance- maybe that'd get the group to start taking all of this more seriously… now, yet that would have to come later. This was supposed to be her day off too- though in the city that never sleeps, guess that goes for crime too, huh? Gwen, or rather Spider-Woman had found herself in the middle of a construction site, squatting down on a column set up by the workers. Buckets of cement and unfinished bricks laid out across a square of land deep in the heart of Manhattan, she stared down at a man, one who had scared off the whole crew, destroying anything in his way, just a rampage through the city… that must sound pretty intimidating, right? Maybe it's The Lizard! I hear you wondering, or- oh! Maybe Doctor Octopus, right? Well unfortunately for all of us it wasn't anybody like that, and Gwen’s confusion spoke for itself.

“Uhh-... I- I don't even know what to say about this one, dude.”

Her Lenses squinted in on this figure before her. He stood at over eight feet tall, but bear with me here-... He was more brick than body, no arms whatsoever as his face screamed out in a texture of hardened clay, with a body the shape of a rectangle. This was The Wall, and he was desperate to fight Spider-Woman… she was having such a good day, too.

“So brick brain, this how you get your kicks?” Spider-Woman laughed, arms crossed as she let her body fall forward, landing effortlessly on her feet with this mammoth of a man in front of her. “Alright…”

“Huh- OH!” Seemed like he was a smidge surprised to see her. “Uh- yeah! You're damn right I do!” The Wall shouted back, his voice deep and distorted. “The wall-crawling freak! I was starting to wonder when you would show!” His foot slammed into the ground, echoing out the lot as he struggled to keep this full wall of a body upright.

“Ah yeah, I had class- my bad.” If it wasn't obvious enough by the more than filled backpack barely staying attached with two stretches of fabric over her arms, filled with notebooks, her phone- plus those clothes she has to throw off everytime some new bad guy shows up.

“Well you listen here, this is one wall you'll never climb!” It seemed like this guy was just ignoring every word to come out of Gwen’s mouth. “Just try it! Try and lay a finger on me!”

Spider-Woman was just… baffled, and honestly wouldn't you be too? Sure, she's dealt with some weirdos but this was just bizarre. “How do I always meet the strangest men…” She whispered to herself, before readying a fist. “Alright man, you asked for it…” Was this guy just waiting on her to do something? It was impossible to tell what his intent was here- why'd he even want to fight her?! What- was she the reason he was… bitten by a radioactive wall, what the fuck- right? No matter the reason, with all the time in the world, Gwen held the fabric around her fist tight, balled up into a fist- all before bludgeoning her own hand against The Wall’s… skin? No matter what it was it hurt like hell, and it barely chipped him.

“FUCK- OW!” Spider-Woman screamed, shaking the wrist that she punched the man with- that was real brick! Why the hell did-... It's fine, it's whatever! “Agh-! That... Smarts.” With an annoyed look through the mask, she stared down the wall, still with any number of broken finger bones- ow…

“HAH!” The Wall yelled. “I told you so! Now- you'll experience the unending rage of the Wall…!” Gwen grimaced, her hands on her hips as it looked like he was about to just-... Fall on her, what- she pushed both palms against The Wall, keeping him upright.

“Wh- why? Why though?”

“What do you… mean?”

“I don't know what happened to you, but I didn't cause it so like- what's the… what's the deal, seriously.” She sounded a tad exasperated, but in reality, it was all just confusion.

“W-Well- I couldn't exactly keep living normally like this!” He yelled back.

“So?! Those two things aren't mutually exclusive! You don't HAVE to-... Alright, look- can we not just take a minute and talk about this?!”

“Why would I ever talk with you?!”

“BECAUSE THIS IS INSANE!” Gwen’s eyes were bulging out of her mask, hands out at either side of her body in an attempt to give some scope to The Wall about how moronic this all really felt.

“I-... Mgh...”

And so

They found a bench.

One that could handle the weight of an eight-foot-tall brick man. The Spider-Woman and The Wall sat side by side on a bench just near the construction site in a park, and yes- people stared, by God did people stare. The hero in white tilted her head to The Wall. It was actually a pretty nice day, even with her hand a tad mangled.

“...People are looking.” The Wall whispered.

“Ah- pshhh, don't mind them. Look- they're staring cuz of me, not you.” Oh, what's a white lie in the grand scheme of things.“Anyway, why are you… scaring off people and- trying to destroy buildings, what's the deal.” This wasn't Gwen trying to stall for time or anything, I mean why would she- this is The Wall. Even if she couldn't punch it, it's not like taking him down would take a particular amount of effort.

“I guess, I- I’m angry.” He sighed. Gwen would be too if she was a wall-...

Pffft,

Gwen snickered, against her better judgment.

“Hey!” His ‘face’ contorted in anger, leaning closer on Gwen while this steel bench they found themselves on creaked under the weight. “Don't laugh!” He shouted

“I’m not!” Her eyes, or- lenses were wide open, with both hands up as a sign of surrender, until he eventually backed off. “How did it actually happen though, like, did you fall in a vat of electric bricks, giant welder, big bucket of clay-”

“Stop.”

“Nono, c’mon, one more–” She insisted.

“I was crushed under a bunch of bricks.” He admitted, under his breath with an embarrassed tone.

Spider-Woman was more just in shock. “That CAN'T be true- no way-” She snickered. “You did NOT!” She insisted… she really wasn't trying to be insensitive but how is that even possible…? “No FUCKING way!” He just, fell under a bunch of bricks and became… The Wall! Speaking of which- “Look… all that aside, do you have a name? Like an actual name- I don't wanna keep having to call you ‘The Wall.’”

He sighed, leaning back on the bench with yet another creek. “Yeah, uh- Joshua.”

“Joshua! Hey, isn't that so much more humanising than The-goddamn-Wall!” She pat his back while speaking, or-... Where a back would be. “I guess I sorta see where you're coming from- I mean what do you even do in a situation like that?” She laughed a little again, but gave Joshua’s side a small slap, despite him being unable to feel it. “That's not an excuse to go on a tantrum around the city though, man!” She sighed again, leaning back with him, both arms casually sat behind the bench. “I don't think you're a bad dude or anything Joshua, you just… seem like you had a psycho episode or something. After turning into a wall-” She cleared her throat. “But hey man, maybe things aren't-... So bad? You're pretty sturdy, right.”

Joshua chuckled. “And a Wall.”

“Well, let's try and stay on the positives, yeah?” Spider-Woman gave a friendly wink through those massive white lenses. “I know it isn't… even remotely the same thing, but I wasn't always like this either.” That seemed to get his attention, turning as far as he could to face the bug-eyed hero. “Yeah, uh- freak accident actually. We had this school trip to Oscorp– I… knew a guy who was, close with the guy in charge there-” Gwen coughed, continuing on. “Turns out - they're making these genetically modified spiders. One got out, bit me- riiight here.” She raised up her hand, pointing to a spot near the bottom of her thumb. “Rest is history.”

“I… always figured you were a mutant.” Joshua chuckled again. “At least you got lucky with yours- I don't have any arms.”

“Maybe you can become famous. Or like… maybe they could crash monster trucks into you on TV, I dunno.” Josh laughed again. It seemed like he was at least getting a little better, he was just scared shitless it seemed. As the two were talking a beep could be heard from pretty close by… oh! Her backpack. Spider-Woman was quick to stick her hand in, feeling some denim, an old shirt, notebooks, pens- aha! Her phone. It wasn't anything overly impressive and there were any number of cracks along the screen, it kinda came with the territory. With a click of the taped-on power button, the screen barely lit up to reveal a text message from Betty, huh? Not the worst one it could've been. The text read as follows:

B.B:

‘where r u???’

“Ahhh! Right- rightright-” Gwen muttered, gaining Joshua’s attention in the process.

‘5 mins away xoxo’

She frantically typed through the fabric of her suit

“Everything good?” Even looking like he did, Josh still went through the effort to act kind, that… surprised Gwen.

“Yeah- yeah man, just… my friends, I was supposed to be at practice like twenty minutes ago.” Standing on her own two feet, and picking up her luggage- she turned back to this new friend of hers. The Wall. He was just… sorta down to earth actually.

“Ah, sorry to keep you.”

“Oh- no man, it's not your fault.” Gwen reassured.

“Yeah, it is.” Yeahh, it was.

“Well hey Josh, I know I wasn't- that helpful but if you want some real help take this advice. Head down to the station and ask for Captain Stacy.”

“But I–”

“Yeah- yeahyeah, I know. Just don't bother with any of the others, this city’s police department stinks… but that's why you gotta head to Stacy.” God. What was she doing? “I can't say that he can get your arms back or anything but he won't be freaked out by you. It'll be for the better, I like to think.”

“Mh… you sure?” It made her mad that she was so sure. “Seems risky.”

“Listen, just don't commit any more crimes, and-... Don't mention my name once you get in there, we have never met. For all intents and purposes you do not know Spider-Woman!... Kay?” She was expressive with her hand movements, backing away in the direction of the school.

Joshua sighed. “...Alright. If you're sure.”

“Yesss! See Josh, not everything is terrible– seriously, don't commit any crimes, I am SO busy!” Gwen clapped both hands together before turning her back completely, getting a running start across the park before pushing down on her palm with a pair of homemade webshooters bringing her up and off of the ground as within seconds she was airborne, zipping from one skyscraper to another as she swung in the direction of Midtown High School.

#Spectacular #gwen stacy #spider woman #Spider gwen #Transgender #Trans gwen stacy #em jay watson #felicia hardy #Black cat #betty brant #glory grant #matthew murdock #earth 65 #fanfic #fanfiction

[enchantedflameandflower]

Glimmer 9/? Billy Butcher fic

pairing: Billy Butcher/OFC

rating: mature

summary: Sometimes even a wavering light in the darkness can be enough to bring you through. How will Billy Butcher cope with falling in love with a supe he can't walk away from?

chapter: 9/?

The vibration of her phone buzzing startled Addison out of her aimless, dreary thoughts. She pulled her cell out of her back pocket, but the number was random so she dismissed it. If it was important they’d leave a message. A second later it vibrated again in her hand and she held it up, surprised to find it ringing again, the same number, instead of a voicemail. 

She thumbed the slider and held it up to her ear. “Hello?”

“Addi...”

That gruff, gravelly, low, wonderful voice. 

Addison stopped dead cold on the sidewalk; the person behind her almost ran into her. “Oh sorry, she mumbled, stepping out of the way. 

“Butcher?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh my God— Billy...I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. What...” Her heart was racing, and she tried not to let him hear that her breath had caught but then he was talking again. 

“I need a place to lay low for the night. I — well I’ve got someone with me.” He paused. “I’ll explain when I see you, but, are you home?”

“I’m —“ Addison shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and make sense of what was happening. She couldn’t place the sentiment in his voice, but it didn’t sound good. Knowing Billy Butcher was a whirlwind of emotion. “I was just heading out but I can go back. It’s not important. I’ll be home in 5.” 

“Aye.” Then he hung up the phone. 

Addison raced back home to her loft and paced her floor until a knock finally sounded on her door. Two different heart beats. Butcher and...

She hurried to open the door. Butcher and a little boy.

“H-hi...” she stammered. What in the hell...

“This is Ryan,” Butcher said without preamble. “Ryan, this is my friend Addison. It’s safe here.”

Addison searched Billy’s face for any indication of what the fuck was going on but as usual she couldn’t decipher a thing except they both looked like they’d just been through hell. 

“Hi Ryan, I’m glad to meet you. Come in...” Addison tried to talk in what she hoped was a reassuring voice, but she really had no fucking idea what to do. She stepped out of the way, giving a Billy a look as he passed, but he gave no indication. 

“Are you hungry, Ryan? Or...” she trailed off realizing literally the only thing she had to drink was beer or whiskey, but Ryan shook his head silently. 

“Can you hang out for a mo’ while I talk to Addison?” Billy interrupted, finally speaking up.

“Here you go.” Addison turned a chair from the table to face the tv and grabbed the remote for Ryan, turning it on, and clicking on Vought+. There had to be some kids movie he knew. “We’ll just be out on the balcony for a minute, okay?”

Addison followed Billy to the balcony together and shut the glass door behind her before she turned to him. 

“What the fuck is going on?” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Billy...” she shook her head as if that would somehow reset this bizarre reality she had found herself in, “I don’t think you should be around children...”

He grunted. “No kidding, eh...”

Something was off, seriously wrong, and Addison couldn’t shake the feeling of clawing unease. After a second she realized his heartbeat was unusually erratic and that was likely what she was sensing most of all. “Billy...”

His head dropped and pain just radiated from his entire being as if he was opening a flood gate of despair inside. “It’s Becca’s boy. She...she’s...”

“Oh my God.” Addison’s hand flew up to cover her mouth and she felt her eyes sting with desperate regret. It couldn’t be possible. It couldn’t be. How could the world be so cruel to one man? “I’m so sorry Billy. I’m sorry...” 

When he looked up at her and his eyes were glistening she almost lost it. But he had come here. For her. To lean on her her. With a little boy who had just lost his mother. 

In a broken, gruff voice he told her what had happened and Addison swore she could feel her heart ripping in two for him. 

“Fuck, Billy. How can this keep happening to you?” She didn’t mean to say it out loud but there it was. He turned away, looking out over the city before he turned back to her. 

“I don’t want to take him to the place I’ve been staying at...”

“No, of course. Of course he can stay here, Billy. Whatever you guys need.”

“You would do that? For...”

For him? For Becca? She wasn’t sure what he was going to say next but it didn’t matter. 

“Yes Billy. Yes. A million times over.”

He nodded and then he turned to look out over the city again. The sun was setting, glinting red and orange and pink off a myriad of skyscrapers. Harsh and beautiful at the same time. 

“What do you need?” she asked after giving him a moment. “What’s the plan?” 

“Mallory is taking him tomorrow. Somewhere safe, away. Maybe I should get him a few things for tonight...l don’t know. I promised...” His voice cracked and he fell silent, but Addison knew what he must mean. She nodded, sure Billy needed time to himself more than anything. “That’s a good idea. Go pick up some things and I’ll stay here with Ryan. Toothbrush, pajamas and something to eat, juice. I have nothing.”

He nodded again, turning to go inside but he paused before he opened the door and turned back to look at her. “Addison. Thank you.”

They came back in the loft quietly and Ryan looked up at them with wide eyes.

“Hey, Ryan...” Butcher started. “It’ll be alright if we stay here for the night, yeah? Addi here is a good friend and it’s safe here.”

“Are you leaving?” he asked Butcher in the smallest voice.

The pain in Butcher’s eyes was nearly unbearable and Addison knew he was trying to so hard to be stoic. “He’s just going to the store to pick up a few things, then he’ll be right back, okay?”

Ryan looked from Butcher to Addi then back to Butcher again. “I promise I’ll be back soon, I’ll get some dinner and...stuff.”

Ryan finally nodded and Addison gave him a soft smile. Butcher went to the door, giving Addison a pointed look and she nodded, locking the door behind him after he left. 

She moved quietly, going back to the table and sitting down. “Do you want to talk, Ryan? I am so sorry for what happened.”

Ryan shook his head but then spoke up after a moment. “What’s going to happen to me now?”

Addison swallowed. Fuck. She’d had a really rotten childhood but she had always known where she was going to lay her head at night. She tried to give Ryan the most reassuring expression she could conjure.

“Billy knows some really good people. They will keep you safe and make sure you have everything you need, and make sure you’re with people that can take care of you.”

“But not with him.”

“Not with Billy, no,” Addison shook her head gently. “Right now his work is very important and it’s also very dangerous. He doesn’t have a safe, happy place for you to live.”

Ryan nodded, looking down at the table. She could see he was thinking, but he didn’t ask anything else. 

“Let’s watch a movie until he gets back, okay?”

***

Butcher came back an hour later, knocking softly on the door and waiting for Addison to recognize it was him and unlock it. 

He had two bags and set them on the table. He tried to give Ryan what Addison assumed was meant to be a sort of smile but it didn’t really come off right. 

“Thank you for going to the store, Billy,” Addison broke the silence. All she could think was that when she was scared as a child, when her father was yelling at her and her mother was high on painkillers, all she wanted was to feel something absolutely benign and normal like one of those families on tv. 

“What do we have?” she started pulling items out of the paper bags - bananas, cereal, milk... “Mac & cheese?”

“Can you cook?” Butcher asked, his voice full of doubt.

Addison rolled her eyes. “Yes of course I can cook.” But Billy still had an eyebrow raised so Addison smiled at Ryan. “Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure I can at least cook mac & cheese.”

“We’ll see, eh?” Billy teased, crossing his arms. 

“Mac & cheese sound okay, Ryan? If I can prove Billy wrong and manage not to ruin it?” Addison asked as she put the milk and juice in the refrigerator. He nodded quietly, but at least his expression lightened a little. 

She set to work, cooking in the kitchen while the movie continued to play. Butcher stood at the counter, trying not to look like he was dying inside, she knew, so she gave him little tasks grabbing things for her to help. 

“See, piece of cake,” Addison exclaimed as she finished stirring, dishing into three bowls. She knew this wouldn’t fix anything but at least maybe Billy and Ryan could have a moment to breathe. 

When they were done eating, Billy stood up to help Addison clean up the dishes. It was quite late when they finished, so Addison gave Ryan the toothbrush and pajamas and sent him to the bathroom. Billy drifted outside wordlessly and Addison chewed on her lip as she watched him. 

A few minutes later Ryan came out of the bathroom in pajamas and Addison stood, giving him a soft smile. 

“Where’s...Billy?” He asked looking around cautiously. 

“He’s just on the balcony. He won’t leave. He just needed some fresh air.”

“He hates me. I saw —“ Ryan didn’t finish his sentence, his head dropping. 

“No, no Ryan.” Addison reached out to put her arm around his slim shoulders and guided him to sit on the bed while she sat next to him. 

“Billy doesn’t hate you. I promise. I know because I used to think the same thing.”

Ryan looked up and her and she gave a little smile but he looked so worried. 

“But I — I killed —”

His little voice broke and she wrapped her arm tighter around him.

“It was an accident Ryan. It’s not your fault. Stormfront was evil. She was the bad guy. Not you, okay? And your mom knew that. I promise she knew how much you loved her. And Billy knows it was an accident too. He loves your mom so much and he knows you do too. You’ll both have that forever.” She was careful not to mention his father.

Tears started to slip down his cheeks and Addison held him close to her side while he tried to hide it. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay.”

They sat for a few moments until Ryan quieted again. She felt so bad for him, he was trying so hard to be hold himself together. She remembered the feeling well. “Why don’t you get comfortable,” Addison said, standing up and pulling the comforter back for him to climb under. I’m just going to talk to Billy for a minute and I’ll be back in. I’ll sit here with you so you won’t be alone.” 

He nodded his head and Addison waited for him to get situated before going out to the balcony.

Billy was leaning against the railing, looking out over the night skyline. He looked so lost. She slid her hand over his shoulder, just to let him know she was there and he turned to look at her, his eyes so dark and full of storming emotion. 

“Addison —“ His voice broke as he tried to speak her name. She didn’t know anything else to do so she curled her arms around him, pulling him to her and just holding him as close as she could. He leaned into her embrace even more, sliding his arms around her waist and holding on tight. Addison wished should could do something, anything more but she would stand here holding him as long as he needed. “I’m so sorry, Billy,” she murmured against his shoulder. 

She felt him press closer against her still, as if she was physically keeping him from breaking apart. She could feel his heat and all she could think was that she wanted to wrap herself around him and protect that flame he had inside forever. They stood there just holding on to each other until he seemed to regain a little of himself and straightened and pulled away. “Thank you,” he rasped. 

She grasped his hand and stood with him looking out over the city until he was ready to speak again. “Is Ryan...?” he started.

Addison nodded. “He’s settled.” She paused and turned toward Billy, searching his dark hazel eyes. “Talk to him, Butcher. He needs you.”

The absolute heartbreak in Billy’s expression tore her apart inside all over again but she held it all back, trying with everything to give him the most supportive, encouraging energy she could. 

Somehow, someway, it seemed to work and Billy finally nodded. Addison stayed out on the balcony as Billy went inside and she focused on the heartbeat of the city. 

After a few minutes she turned to check on them through the glass. Watching Billy talk to Ryan she knew, she knew for sure, Billy was exactly the man she knew he was. His heart was exactly how she heard it, every moment. Billy stood then and Ryan shifted to lay down again. Maybe he wouldn't sleep at all but at least he could be comfortable and safe.

Addison went inside and Billy nodded at her, in some silent understanding between them and she felt her heart swell with love for him.

He moved to the oversized chair in the corner and she sat on the other side of the bed, stretching out her legs and leaning back. Eventually she drifted off, but the morning sun woke her as soon as it dawned.

She took a breath, trying to stretch without moving. Billy was slumped a little in the chair, asleep. She turned her head to find Ryan asleep as well and she breathed a silent sigh of relief. 

As quiet as she could, she stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up. The boys were still asleep when she emerged but it was well into morning now and she knew they would need to leave soon, so she quietly set to brewing coffee and setting out the cereal and fruit. 

Billy woke first, blinking his eyes open and searching for the source of the scent that had roused him. When he found Addison in the kitchen his expression softened and she couldn’t help but feel that swell again. He stood, stretching out the kinks from the night in the chair then crossed the room to collect the mug of coffee Addison offered him. He made a quiet noise of content and relief at the first sip then turned to check on Ryan. 

“We should probably wake him,” Addison murmured. “You’ll have to leave soon.”

Billy nodded but hesitated. Addison was tempted to take over but she stayed back. They needed this. 

After a moment Billy went to the bed and touched his shoulder. “Time to get up, Ryan.”

Ryan shifted and turned, looking up at Billy then nodded his head. They ate breakfast together quietly. It just didn’t seem right to say anything light, but just to be. Three lost people, bound for just a moment. Ryan went to the bathroom to change while Addison started to clean up. She pressed another cup of coffee into Billy’s hands when he stood to help her and nodded toward the balcony. She smiled to herself when he obeyed. And then it was time to go. 

Billy paused at the door, turning back to Addison and she had to swallow past the lump in her throat when she caught his expression. She wanted to take him in her arms again and tell him everything would be okay but it wasn’t true and it didn’t feel right. Instead she reached out to grasp his hand, rough and large in her own, squeezing it as tightly as she could. Even the momentary flash of comfort in his his dark gaze was enough. Then she turned to Ryan. “If you ever need anything ever, Ryan, I’m here. Okay?” He nodded. Billy reluctantly let go of her hand and then they were gone. 

Chapter 10

#karl urban #karl urban fanfic #the boys #the boys tv #the boys fanfic #billy butcher #billy butcher x ofc #billy butcher fanfic #the boys amazon #fanfic #smut is coming #smut #billy butcher smut #billy butcher fic #billy butcher x reader

[questforgalas]

Thoughts while watching Ahsoka Ep 4!!

(wow was this a rollercoaster, get ready for a lot of caps lol)

Seriously so in love with the set design

I’m gonna say it, I love Rosaria’s Ahsoka, she’ll never top Ashley’s but I love this portrayal of grown up, v traumatized, had to mature way faster than she wanted Ahsoka

Seriously this cinematography and set design is gorgeous

Ooooo mysterious droids

Utterly obsessed we get a live action night sister like so fucking cool

FALLEN JEDI?!? THATS THE EPISODE TITLE???? Fuck me

Gawd Sabine’s armor in live action is so cool

Ugh Ahsoka is so traumatized over Anakin. My wittle babygirl

NO HUYANG!!!!

UM OK POP OFF HUYANG THROWING HAYMAKERS LIKE A CHAMP

Is that the first ever droid brawl in Star Wars??? Absolutely amazing

SABINE USING THE BESKAR

A JEDI AND A MANDALORIAN

I LOVE AHSOKA WITH HER WHITE SABERS

“Stay together. You always did better that way. In my opinion” PARALLELED TO OBI WAN’S “we’ll be fine as long as we stick together” SOMEBODY SEDATE ME OH MY GOD

Jacen 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my god Hera bringing Jacen and pulling the “when you’re a general but for now you’re my kid” line what a freaking boss ass mom

CARSON

Lord almighty Ray Stevenson was so good I’m so sad he isn’t able to enjoy this fucking killer performance he delivered

Oooo great robe drop Shin

Oh my fucking god do I love Ahsoka’s cocky slow eye flick to Marrock she is so good with the quiet confidence (that’s so Obi-Wan by the way)

Yo this fight choreography is fucking sick

AHSOKA PULLING AN OBI WAN AND MAUL IN THE DESERT AYO FILONI I SEE YOU

Fucking Jedi and their dramatics with robes lol

COMING OFF THE BAT WITH AN ANAKIN MENTION OHOHO BALON

“Really? He never mentioned you” AHSOKA YOUR ANAKIN IS SHOWING

Do you think Anakin and Obi-wan’s force ghosts are munching some popcorn positively giddy watching their padawan sass and slay like a legend?

How dare you mention her walking away Balon

Yes babygirl slay

Um such a good tennis match of dialogue here between Balon and Ahsoka???

Oh my god she’s so fucking beautiful 😭😭

Absolutely in love with the quiet of this scene, hearing the hum of the lightsabers and Ahsoka’s steps as she circles, felt so meditative and suspenseful at the same time

This happened so long ago but so funny that Marrock was the subject of every pre-series theory and he ended up being just some dust dude lol

Very cool shot of Sabine’s helmet in the forefront as Sabine fights with the lightsaber in the background

Yasss use that beskar Sabine

“Your legacy and your master’s is death and destruction” Balon come over I just want to have a chat

Ohhhh your padawan is potentially dead and you lose all focus?? Wonder where you learned that from Ahsoka

Smart move Balon going right for the family feels

Oh fucking hell Sabine honestly? He’s a white boy with blue hair he’s not worth it

Love the noises the map makes, sounds like a video game

JACEN’S FORCE SENSITIVE LET JACEN BE FORCE SENSITIVE

THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS?!?!? THEY ACTUALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok but the way my eyes immediately welled up when “Hello snips” echoed

Ok the fucking eye acting with the “Hello snips”?? In a split second she went from cool, calm, collected Ahsoka assessing her bizarre situation to surprise, eagerness, and youth in a split second

IT’S HAYDEN’S VOICE OH MY GOD IT’S HAYDEN’S VOICE HAYDEN SAID SNIPS IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF OFF OF A BRIDGE OH MY GOD IM SOBBING

IT’S. ANAKIN. HE. IS. STANDING. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. HER. FOR. THE. FIRST. TIME. SINCE. BEFORE. MANDALORE. I AM A BLUBBERING MESS OH MY GOD I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO HIT ME LIKE THIS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM HIS EYES ARE SO FOND SHE’S SO HOPEFUL JUST AT THE MERE SITE OF HIM I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS

UGHHHHH and then the fade out to the horns of Vader's theme holy shit Filoni

#tay is an emotional mess #i'm so unwell about that last scene i loved it so much wowowowow #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka #star wars

[blogofloathing]

Part 3 of 4, Part 4 Comes Out Later Next Week!!

Against all wishes, to be doing.. anything else.. he turned the handle, and pushed, it was heavier than it had looked.

Though this weight could be mainly attributed to the massive wave of sound pressing back against his attempt.

But nonetheless, open the rickety old door he did

And what he saw made absolutely no sense, it was so unexpected as to be nearly comedic.

There was his pal Ernst, sitting on the floor, playing his cello as hard and as loud as possible.

Gygan could see his muscles visibly straining with the great effort of his wild performance.

Gygan chuckled to himself, feeling a weight fall off of his shoulders, as if previously carrying the entire world on them.

He was almost surprised to not hear it make an audible *THUNK*.

It was fine, everything was fine. This welcome relief did little to dull the sound however, as Ernst didn't seem to notice him.

He opened his mouth, but was momentarily taken aback at nothing coming out

before realizing that, he was speaking. The tune was so loud he couldn't hear his own damn voice coming from his own mouth.

Fuckin hell what was Ernst even tryin to do? Well regardless Gygan needed to get him to stop with that godawful sound. He shouted, still no sound.

He screamed, he screamed so hard surely he would go deaf from his own voice alone, nothin.

Ugh Jesus fucking Christ okay clearly he won't be able to hear me, Gygan resolved.

Before walking right over and giving Ernst a good *THWAP* on the head. Hard enough to make him drop his cello with a dramatic clatter.

The sudden silence was almost as deafening as the sound, like a sonic boom the absence of that horrendous melody slammed into Gygan's ears.

He both felt and heard his ears pop sickeningly, Gygan was just about ready to pass out.

But this was about Ernst and he was gonna figure out just what the fuck is going on, now.

Waving his hand infront of his buddy's face back and forth, "yo! Ernst! Fuck's goin on with you??"

Gygan said exasperated, this whole situation was so bizarre he wouldn't be surprised to just wake up.

It took his friend a solid thirty seconds to stop miming the cello in his empty hands. Staring dead ahead as if to look anywhere else was impossible.

When Ernst finally snapped out of it, he looked at Gygan, then looked at the cello laying a few feet away from them on the floor. Eyes growing wide.

"Seriously man what's up with you? Those letters? That.." Gygan winced, almost whispering "sound.."

"You can't just be all cryptic and shi-" but finish his sentence he could not, overtaken by "Gygan you have to get out now, I'm serious Gygan, please!"

Gygan stood perplexed, so he sends him a bunch of concerning letters and now he's getting kicked out?? What kinda stunt was Ernst trying to pull??

Laughing a little as he replies "dude what? I don't get you man-" once again stamped out with a much more frantic "you have to go now!" And he wasn't laughing, something in his gut felt wrong.

"Once I stop playing, the rift-" he began, but a rumbling like the loudest drum roll sang within both of their skeletons, rattling them to the core.

"You, have, to, go!" Ernst repeated, punctuating each word with another push of Gygan towards the stairs, he resisted, "dude, buddy Ernst calm down for a sec" he didn't understand what was going on

But heed him he did not, "just go!" Ernst screamed in his face, practically throwing him down the stairs, and slamming the attic door shut after him.

Tough crowd huh? Though, as Gygan started back up the steps, to hopefully knock some sense into his friend, a nauseating feeling washes over him.

The air shifted in every part of the house, a subtle change that set Gygan's hairs on their ends.

And a stomach churning creaking, as if the whole house was flexing and bending. Bending inwards.

Fuck fuck what the fuck?? Gygan tried clumsily to dash up the stairs, stumbling as the entire house seemed to rock side to side. Shaking violently.

Eyes darting around desperately for salvation, he watched as Ernst's living room tore itself apart.

Books and papers flying around the room. As if a tornado squatted in his home while he was away.

His living room seemed to melt and solidify back and forth in a chaotic, jagged lava procession.

Bottles of apple juice and paintings of cellos falling and shattering on the floor, then reforming and shattering again, adding to the cacophony.

The wallpaper pattern seemed to be staring only at him, pointedly and expectantly, eyes that weren't there shot daggers into Gygan as he stared on.

And despite all wishes to be doing anything else, he trudged up the staircase, feet made of lead..

Part 3 END, Too Big For 3 So Now It's 4 Parts!!

#original character #original writing #shadows over loathing #west of loathing #sol #wol #writing #oc character #writers on tumblr #creative writing

[6ad6ro]

on a more positive note, i finally listened to red vox. i’d been watching vinny nonstop for the past 6 years, and i just recently got kinda addicted to mike streams. but i just... i respected vinny’s opinion on music so much. what if red vox sucked? it’s hard to explain... the mindset is similar to “don’t meet your heroes”. bc he just clearly has so much passion for music... so if their band kinda sucked, it would potentially make me take him less seriously. and i didn’t want that. bc i respect the hell out of vin and mike. listen... parasocial relationships are super unfair, i know. also due to the fact that i’d mostly watched vinny on his youtube, and he feels weird talking too much about his band on his streams, it was really easy to avoid hearing it at all. but like i’d said, i started watching his actual streams. and catching his breaks where he plays music (he has awesome taste). and for one, he played this weird awesome psychedelic music video and the music was so catchy and good? so i made sure to pay attention to what it was. but when he came back on, he was all awkward? lol like cmon dude, what band is it? it was fuckin red vox (playing by the rules)... like shit, red vox was that good? i was taken aback. it sounded like a lotta my fav bands. anyways i made a mental note to check em out soon, even tho i was still weirded out by the whole experience. i’d put off listening to it for so long... but then like a week later mike was doing a drum stream. he was supposed to play along to pizza tower ost, but that shit is bonkers , so to get “warmed up” he played along with some red vox. he put on “eminence”. and it was just... the song was so fuckin awesome??? and it was so cool to watch him drum like dude totally blew me away. so i was just like fuck it and instantly grabbed the album (afterthoughts) off their bandcamp. i pretty much love every song. a ton have been stuck in my head. they’re not just good, they’re amazing. i was dumb to put this off for so long. still, kinda bizarre that the funny pizza streamers i’ve been watching forever end up also bein one of my new favorite bands. respect. what a buncha badasses. go listen to red vox.

[mellow-island7]

Twitter Drafts

was writing down my twitter drafts in a word document cause i'm gonna deactivate my twitter again cause i'm getting overwhelmed again by everything and thought i'd share some of these on tumblr lol

These drafts start from now (8/23/23) and go all the way back to i think like a year ago or something like that, some of the drafts are unfinished but yea anyways heres some of them

(pt 1)

(ps my bad i probably sound like an asshole in some of these, i was really sad and have been stuck in a perpetual shit cycle for the past 3 years)(but also i have to learn to stop apologizing for things that i don't need to be sorry for)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stuck in a body that isn’t mine,

Everything is a waste of time

Dumb yuppie mfkrs talking about being “broke” with a car, a house, gear that works and a house that has food everyday :|

Lol :|

We need a show in south florida for the Daniel Johnston fans all 5 to 6 of us

Mfkrs will literally kick you down and be like dude get up already, stop being lazy

Its funny hearing people talking about getting older and gaining weight and running out of breath and I’m like “dude literally all you do is smoke weed and watch shit on Netflix, what the fuck would you expect”

Lol you really not grown till you get sued for the first time

Mad respect and appreciation for anyone that takes the time to try and and understand themselves emotionally

In my head thinking about how it totally not cute to be this sad at my age

In my head counting all the people that hate me

I’m grateful for the people that I’ve been friends with since middle school

The online therapists are exploiting mental illness, places like b*tter help want you to think you are weak and they want you to think you can’t do it yourself so that you can pay them a good amount of money to talk you into fixing your own problems

Yea I’m probably gonna hold off on doing shit seriously till I have money again

I know where I am, I know where I’m going and I know how I’m gonna get there

You should be scared you fucking limp dick weasel, I hope you get everything that you have coming for you

Wtf you could bs nose slide? :o

I just wanna skate and make music with my friends, its not that complicated

This mini ramp is slowly but surely making my brain so much stronger

Don’t understand plus don’t care plus don’t wanna understand plus I gotta st

Do things for genuine reasons

I need to stop apologizing for things I don’t need to be sorry about

(added this in rn, wasn’t originally in our twitter drafts ^^^)

Nick is like the mike Sinclair to my billy marks

One day when I’m older and more stable with money and more in a place of comfort, I look forward to being able to smoke weed while playing playstation 2 games

Lifes moving in such a weird direction and I’m really happy and excited but also a lil sad also goddamn some of the things happening  are so bizarre

Educate the yuppie jits, they don’t know any better

You are exactly like all the people you complain about and if you weren’t busy having your head so far up your own ass maybe you could see that

I love being an internet music nerd, all I wanna do is be on my computer and listen to music and make shit

I’m trying very hard to stay optimistic and keep working hard towards things that I think actually matter and if you are in any way trying to impede on that optimism (no matter how false you think it may be) then FUCK YOUUUUU just SHUT THE FUCK UP

Growing up means literally faking being happy every day

I can’t wait to turn 30

I need a job so fucking bad and I desperately need to leave this house

Steel reserve suicide? 👀

Fuck it lol I think imma finish as much as I can of the ruffans stuff and put it out as a demos album LOL (at this point that makes more sense than having this be an actual album)

Definitely gotta keep our friends humble cause :| some mfkrs are getting so prideful and arrogant :|

I think we need to start roasting our friends a bit more, so many specific people are getting way too prideful and arrogant, like there’s nothing in with feeling a sense of pride in your self but definitely gotta humble people when they’re getting out of pocket

Being in a car with people that drive like shit :| is so fucking annoying :| and then they wanna act like you’re annoying as fuck for being scared :| fried ass mfkrs :|

Too many people down bad rn, get it together

:| talking about these things with the people you love is :| so :| fucking :| hard :| life is moving and changing in so many directions in so many ways :| and

You will only come to realize this when it is way too late and you’ve done an insane amount of irreparable damage and then you will regret so much as we all come to do

Life at 17: I need to kill myself Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Life at 24: yea fuck this dude I’m out :|

Lol its funny to me that theres people that only like me because I’m so sad and that feels soo fucked up for some reason

I don’t care if it’s good enough because it is genuinely the best can do

(rn)

Phone password is **** and my computer password is ******, theres a lot of live video and audio recordings of peoples bands and maybe some photos and logos and art and other random bullshit, if anyone cares to go and try and find that, go for it

I tried, sorry, thanks

(anecdote: lol fucking dumb edgy imbecile thinking anyone would give a fuck to try and find any of that garbage

Thanks

Its fireeee :,| <3

Goddammit ramon just do it already, watching you get up and keep trying is humiliating it feels like watching a one legged dog keep tripping over himself tryna cross the street, its so fucking sadd

No I’m not doing okay why the fuck would you askme some stupid dumbass question like that, tryna be on some hold your head up king bullshit, like I’m glad that you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re happy, that’s awesome for you I love that for you genuinely but what the fuck I am obviously not happy why the fuck would you ask me that like what the fuck am I actually supposed to say to that

I am not too fond of punk music or shoegaze music or metal music(as genres), theres specific bands and individuals that I like but in general sense most of those genres are so fucking boring

I feel like I haven’t had a real conversation with another human being in so long, I feel so detached from reality like as if I’m not real and I’m watching myself continue on autopilot from outside my body

I’m the kind of stupid where I’ll have no money, get $5 and decide to share it with someone so we could eat together

:3

Sitting thinking about how many days will have to pass before have to sell my fuzzwar and amp and other belongings that mean a lot to me?

(something is wrong/broken)

One brain cell dimwit human being who is not doing anything to fix it or help in any way: “why are you not fixing this? What is wrong with you you useless irresponsible asshole?”

:|

I wish I had what you had

(plural)

I’m getting real close to selling my fuzzwar, at this point in life I have no one I’m close enough that would know what that would mean to me or even care but maya gave me that for my 19th brirthday, it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever

Jesus christ the way that asia argento looks at rip torn in marie Antoinette and just thinking about times in life when someone looked at you like that while touching your face

#me #words #3761 #twitter #sorry #asia argento

[moonlitkilljoy]

Howdy 🤠 Pacrim anon back again from the rabbit hole I’ve gladly jumped down LMAO

Apparently it’s Newt’s birthday today! And he’s apparently a Capricorn which makes me fucking die because my birthday was two days ago so we are that 🤏🏻 close. Also the amount of myself I’m beginning to see in Newt is terrifying. I did not intend to be blorbo’d here, but it’s like I’m looking into a foggy mirror shaped like Charlie Day

I’m watching Uprising right now and…it’s certainly a movie. It was filmed. It exists. But. BUT! Every scene with Newt so far has made me want to bite through my own femur. Like I’ve read all the spoilers. I’ve read all the fics. But seeing it happen, and knowing what’s really going on with the precursors, it makes the viewing experience so much better. I can get through the slog of the rest of the movie just for that.

Also, I hate how quick the jager’s in this movie movie??? Like bruh you’re several tons of metal, please act like it.

I’ve already been scouring AO3 for all the fics I can find, but if you have any that scratch your brain just right let me know. I will never turn down more Pacrim!

I hope you’re having a good day/night! ✌🏻

Hello!!!! welcome back!!!! i'm gonna be honest with you, reading this message put a grin on my face very early this morning when i first read it, which absolutely isn't an easy thing to do that early in the day. So, thank you for this ask and for making my day brighter right off the bat :]

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! I want you to know how enamored i am with the phrase "its like im looking into a foggy mirror shaped like charlie day" because i absolutely adore it. and, i ABSOLUTELY understand that, even if its not the exact same degree! i definitely see some of myself in newt, but probably relate to hermann a lot more (mostly with the weird vernacular, eccentric propensity for math, tendency to talk in an "all at once" manner, etc etc). i have a friend who jokingly calls me a combination of the two, which i think sums it up pretty well (i'm also a weird, rambly, punk [aspiring] biologist so it evens out). though, i'm really glad you could find a character to see yourself in like that— imo it's always really neat when that happens. congrats on your blorboning ^_^

As for uprising... YEAH. YEAH. it truly is 'a movie.' i honestly haven't been able to stomach watching it in its entirely, so all my information comes from friends, my girlfriend, analysis on tumblr, clips, and summaries (and criticism through fic-it fics, of course, though i recognize that thats far from a reliable source for canon fgdfklg)

AND THE JAEGERS. YEAH THAT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS. i keep hearing about how weird and off the jaegers are in pr:u, its bizarre </3

I WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO SHARE SOME OF THE FICS SCRATCHING MY BRAIN!!!! i don't wanna leave this ask to rot in my inbox by accident so im answering this first BUT i will reblog a bit later in the day with a comprehensible list of my favorite pacrim fics so far (read: newmann fics. i think they're literally all newmann centered, mostly at least) or make a separate post and link it here! THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN MY RECCOMENDATIONS!! it seriously means a lot and truly delights me :3

i hope you're having a nice day/night as well!!! may the future be kinder to you than it was to the "pacific rim sequel" ヾ(•ω•`)o

#asks #pacrim #pacrim anon #hope u dont mind me tagging these asks as such ^^; #i know ive said this a lot but seriously thank you again for these asks #i hope my responses can bring you even half as much joy as you've gifted me with :]

[greatmooncalf]

sports anime pitch: book-smart high school graduate with straight As gets an offer from their dream college but they can't commute in time because they don't have a driver's licence and there isnt any time to get one before their first semester starts so they pick up nascar driving because there’s a loophole in the system that lets them make the commute legally if it’s on company time and it turns out they’re fucking dastardly on the track

#bonus points if they pay off their ridiculous student debt with their winnings #dude ok i was spitballing but now im like hmm i want to make this #bc like fr how fucking swag would this be #ALSO IF THEIR NEMESIS ON THE TRACK IS A GIRL AND THEY ARE ALSO A GIRL #ahhhhh SHIT #damn if im not the only lesbian who likes nascar on the planet but if nobody else makes this maybe i fucking will #like seriously this sounds bizarre but HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT

[xmyshya]

What the fvck

summary: Your long term boyfriend leaves you for someone else (no cheating), so you decide to take revenge on the most important person in his life. But it takes an unexpected turn... genre: angst, smut, a pinch of fluff? warnings: fighting, falling out of love, breakup, swearing, MINORS DNI betas: @vivianvampyric thank you so much, my love. What would I do without you <3 special thanks: to @karasunowo for this beautiful Osamu doodle <3 and my soulmate @bokutosace for pushing me past my block <3 a/n: Fic is a part of the Anilysium server collab with a prompt: hate/revenge fucking. You can find the masterlist here. @hqintheclub wc: 3.2k edit a/n2: thank you so much for the love and all the feedback I got from you, you're seriously amazing <3 I'd like to officially announce that there will be part 2, once I figure out my irl urgencies! If you'd like to be tagged in its release, let me know!

“What the fuck?!”

Eight years. Eight fucking years reduced to this one sentence.

“Am sorry, I really am.”

To be fair, Atsumu does look sorry—with pain besmirching his big brown eyes, usually so warm and bright; a quiver of his bottom lip and muscles shifting in his jaw; and the way he’s fiddling with his fingers, something he almost never does. Something about precious setter fingertips.

“I don’t give a fuck, Atsumu! How could you?!” He shrinks in on himself.

“I— We haven’t done anythin’, I just— A wanted ta be fair ta ya.”

You scoff. Fair. How is dumping a girlfriend of eight years after living together for five for some other chick fair? How is falling in love with someone else after making promises of forever since high school fair?

You’re surprised you haven’t started crying yet—maybe it’s because of the shock, maybe it’s the rage, or maybe it’s your pride and not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you break down. Although between the breakdown and your current outburst, you’re not sure which is worse.

“Look, yer free to stay ‘ere fer as long as ya want. I have a place ta stay, I’ll grab ma things when yer out. I owe ya this much.”

“You don’t owe me shit.”

“I do. I— I better go now. Bye, Y/n.”

Closing the door of your shared apartment (not anymore, you realise) opens a door somewhere inside of you, and you burst in tears. And then you cry, and cry, and cry, until your eyes are swollen and burning, and you can’t open them anymore.

The next few days are a blur; you're not quite sure if it's a day or night with your closed curtains, you fall in and out of an uneasy slumber, and don't remember the last time you ate or showered.

The rage has burnt everything in you, leaving nothing but ashes and dried tear trails. It's bizarre, not feeling anything—a little bit like drowning, a little bit like floating, a little bit like suffocating.

On the fifth day of this timeless suspension you realise that the noise you hear isn't an earthquake; it's just your stomach demanding something, anything. But there's nothing at the apartment, you've already ate whatever was still consumable, and the rest is spoiled.

You're still standing in front of the open empty fridge, deciding on whether to go shopping or not, but the loud grumbling makes the decision for you. But first, you need a shower.

The water feels magical as it flows down your body. It's warm, bringing back sensations in your numb limbs. It cleanses the dread, removes dust, and all the dirt and worries disappear down the drain.

It's kind of refreshing to wear clean clothes after these few days and leaving the apartment, even if it's to go to the grocery store right next to your building. It's almost normal to pick the rice, vegetables, meat, and fruits.

Back at a home that isn't yours, the ingredients for a simple dish are simmering in the pot, and you hum happily while mixing. It's a sound that these walls haven't heard in a while, and it still lingers when you pour the soup in a bowl.

You sit at the table, clasp your hands together with an echoing clap and mutter an itadakimasu. And then it hits you, again. You're at the table, alone. About to eat dinner, alone. You're in this flat, alone. He's not here anymore, not yours anymore.

The dish is forced down your throat, spoon after spoon, even when you choke back the tears. It burns, it hurts, it threatens to go back up, but you continue, swallow after swallow. Because the world hasn't come to a halt, even if yours did.

There's a soft knock on the door, and you notice the room is filled with a red-ish, pink-ish light. You have survived another day, you think glancing at the setting sun.

---

"What the fuck." Osamu mutters under his breath and considers running away. "Why am I even doing this for that dick?"

He knows what Atsumu did. He knows that sometimes things like this happen and it's not necessarily anyone's fault. He's mad because he would never treat you like that. Maybe giving you up back in high school in favour of his twin was a mistake.

The man drags a hand down his face and knocks. Part of him hopes you're out, that you won't open the door and he won't have to pretend that he doesn't see your red, puffy eyes. Another part hopes that upon seeing him you'll just throw yourself into his arms in search of comfort.

There's a click of a lock and then a voice,

"'Samu?"

---

"'Samu? Come in, please."

It hurts how identical they are. Even despite different-coloured eyes, despite Osamu going back to his natural hair, they are so undeniably identical twins. Fuck.

"Would you like some tea? I don't have any coffee, sorry."

He hates the expression you're wearing, he hates how obvious it is that you're in pain, and he hates how it's probably because of his face. He shouldn't overstay his welcome, shouldn't break you any more, but he just can't leave.

When the drinks are ready, both of you sit at the table, the same one that you used to dine at with his brother. Judging by the look in your eyes, he's occupying Atsumu's chair, inflicting damage yet again.

The awkward silence fills the room; neither of you know what to say, because really what is there to say? Between the sips of a hot brew he opts for a meaningless small talk, one of about weather, because any other topic seems dangerous.

Time passes, and after many deafening tick-tocks it's suddenly too dark to see your undereye bags. You stand to turn the lights on.

"'Samu?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you here?"

He looks at you and gulps, not sure of your reaction when he says his name.

"To— to grab 'Tsumu's stuff."

"Did he— he asked you to?"

Osamu nods, and you can feel your blood boil. He was with you for eight fucking years, and he doesn't have the decency to come himself? He threw you away like trash, and he doesn't have the courage to look you in the eyes? He has to drag his brother into this?

You're angry, you're so angry, and the only thing you want is to devastate, to hurt, to break, to trample, just like you were devastated, hurt, broken, and trampled. Osamu stands in front of you.

"Am sorry, Y/n. Am so incredibly sorry."

Blinded by the rage, you hide your face in Osamu's chest, crumple his shirt in your fists, as you decide to destroy the only constant in Atsumu's life. To rip off something that was always his and claim it as yours, even if it’s just for one night.

He’s mad too; he gave you up all those years ago for his brother, only for him to step on it, and in the name of what? He’s spent all those years watching your relationship bloom, wishing you were his instead, but you belonged to his twin, you were untouchable, unattainable. But now, the very same brother left you, spat on Osamu’s sacrifice, and ran away. So he’s going to steal you away, claim you as finally his, even if it’s just for one night.

He hugs you tight, rubbing soothing patterns on your back, and mumbles apology after apology. If there was anything he could do, he'd do it in a heartbeat. There's not one thing he wouldn't do for you.

"'Samu, what's wrong with me? Am I not enough?" You mutter into the fabric. Hook.

"Huh? No, Y/n, look at me." You lift your face and look at him with doe eyes. Line. "There's nothing wrong with ya, yer a wonderful woman." Sinker.

You keep your gaze on him for a moment, pull him down by his shirt as you stand on your toes… and then you kiss him. A gentle peck right on his lips, then another one before you capture his bottom lip between yours.

"I— I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I don't—"

You push yourself off of him, babbling and pretending to panic, but in the corner of your eye you see how much he liked it. Perfect. So you place a finger on your lips, as if the sensation of him still lingered there, and shift your gaze at him.

Everything becomes a blur when you keep looking at each other, millions of feelings swarming in his eyes, a dangerous glint in yours. Everything is hazed over when he pulls you in and crashes his lips on yours.

His warm hands slide under your shirt against your cool skin and you gasp at the sensation. He wastes no time and kisses you deeper, harsher, with a tongue teasing at yours. You wonder if it tastes as sweet to him as it does to you.

Your impatient fingers tug at his shirt, wanting to feel him closer, sooner, right now. The kiss is broken and as if on command, both of you take your shirts off. Osamu's arms snake around your waist again, pulling you into him and into another searing kiss.

It's full of longing, full of hunger, overtaking your senses like a storm. There's just Osamu and the taste of his tongue, the feeling of it sliding and swirling around yours, and the stinging of his bites on your bottom lip.

He pushes you backwards until your thighs hit the edge of the table; you're lifted to sit on it as the black haired twin sucks hot marks onto your neck. His hands are on your thighs, digging in the soft flesh through your pants, and he moves them towards your ass, not forgetting to tease the creases with his thumbs.

A shiver runs down your spine and straight to your cunt; it’s a forbidden fruit with an alluring scent, and you want to bite into it, devour it whole, even if it consumes you back. Just the idea of the act is so sinful, that you can’t help but wonder if the heat inside you is arousal or hellfire.

Osamu’s huge hands unclasp your bra and throw it somewhere on the floor, then they move to cup your tits and squeeze them. His lips are on yours again, kissing you like there’s no tomorrow, as if he’s been waiting for it for a lifetime. A pinch on your nipples makes you release the sweetest little ‘ah’ he’s ever heard in his life.

You’re growing impatient, you want him to finally fill you up, so you tug on the band of his sweats and he gets it. Leaning on your palms you lift your hips us, giving him the opportunity to take both your pants and panties off. Where they land afterwards, you don’t know.

One of his hands reaches straight to your pussy, fingertips prod at the entrance and smear your juices all around your folds.

“Fuck.” He breathes into the kiss. “Yer so fuckin’ wet.”

He flicks your clit a few times and you arch your back in response. Osamu smirks; you’re so sensitive, so responsive, he can’t wait to pull all kinds of sounds from your lips, especially his name. He doesn’t have to wait long though, a few rubs and pinches on your nub and you let out a breathy “‘Samu…”, and he swears he could cum at that moment.

His touch feels so much different from his brother’s—his hands are rougher, fingers thicker, which you notice as the man slips one of them into your cunt. It’s so different but so good, intoxicating even, and you nearly lose your mind when another one joins in.

There’s a steady pace of the pumping of his digits, in and out, in and out, with each time the base of his fingers rubs against your clit. Your walls are squeezing him, nails digging in his shoulders, and when you moan his name again, he has to be inside you. Now.

Osamu pushes you gently so you lay down on the table, and gets rid of his sweats and boxers in the meantime. Your knees are spread wide to invite him into your leaking hole, and he enters in one swift motion. The next few seconds are still, it’s time to adjust to his size, to this new experience, but soon enough he moves again. Tea cups fall to the floor and shatter, but neither of you notices.

At first the thrusts are slow, careful, and he’s watching your face closely for any signs of discomfort. They don’t appear, so the pace is a little quicker, the push a little harder. It’s happening, it’s finally happening, the moment he’s been dreaming of for years at last coming true. It’s difficult to control himself, and soon enough his cock is drilling into you with a force that will surely bruise your cervix.

You’re so full of him, he’s invaded your pussy, your mind—in this moment your whole existence screams “Osamu, Osamu, ‘Samu.” You tell him to go even faster, even harder, to hammer out every thought out of your head. He complies, pulls you closer to the edge of the table and leans down over you. His hands grip the opposite edge of the furniture and Osamu makes an experimental thrust.

And then he’s ramming into you, pushing his cock even further in your cunt, and it’s a miracle that your table is still in one piece. You wrap your arms around his, nails digging in his shoulder blades, as the familiar heat blooms in your abdomen. One of your hands reaches down between your bodies, the other still holding onto him for dear life.

You rub your clit in circles, his cock covered in your slick gliding against your fingers, and you suppose you can’t hold on for much longer. Neither can he, both your brains turned into mush, and between incoherent moans and groans of oh gods and fuckfuckfucks only three words are exchanged.

“Where?”

“Inside. Pill.”

Your thighs shake around him, body arches off the tabletop, and your cunt sucks him deeper and deeper with every clench. His cock twitches at every spasm but he needs to be patient, you need to fall first. And you do, after he suckles harshly on your nipple, with a loud scream of his name. His name. This is what pushes him off the edge, and he spills inside your throbbing pussy in hot spurts.

There’s a moment of silence, only your quickened pants fill the air. You’re still wrapped around him, keeping him inside, and Osamu thinks that maybe this is his chance. Only chance.

“Lemme take ya to bed.” He whispers in your ear and you nod, so he lifts you off the table and carries you to the bedroom.

He lays you down gently, hovering over you, and captures your lips between his once again. Only this time it’s slow, gentle, full of all the words he’s never said. Because this time is not about the hot eruption of anger, not about revenge. It’s about you (and maybe him, if you allow it), about the worship and unspoken feelings.

His kisses trail down, caressing every inch of your skin, every crease and mound of your body, until you ask him to fill you up again. Only then does he push in again, rolling his hips calmly, almost lovingly. Only then does he whisper how beautiful you are in your ear. Only then does he make love to you, until you both fall asleep.

---

You’re woken up by a clinking noise coming from the kitchen, but it takes a moment before your awareness comes back enough to actually process what’s happening. There’s still a faint scent of a cologne and sex in the air; the pillow next to you is rumpled, same as the sheet.

Then it dawns on you—memories of the last night and who you spent it with flow freely into your mind. You wonder if the noise coming from outside of your bedroom is made by your latest hook-up, who just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend’s twin. Your feet search for the slippers but find none; you just throw some t-shirt from the floor on you and patter barefoot to the kitchen.

You’re welcomed with a sight of Osamu’s bare back, very muscular back, marked with long red stripes and a bite mark on his shoulder. There’s a familiar throbbing between your thighs, and it suddenly feels so empty without his cock; even though it’s wrong, it’s wicked, it’s salacious. What the fuck?

The man is still unaware of your presence, digging through the cupboards in search of bowls, plates, chopsticks—anything to serve the breakfast in. For one person, as you notice. Everything is ready, so he places the dishes on a tray and turns to put them on a table, only to be startled by your figure.

“Oh god, ya scared me.”

“Good morning to you too, ‘Samu.”

There’s an awkward silence; you’re still standing facing each other—you in his shirt, him with a tray.

“I made ya breakfast. Thought you’d be hungry when ya wake up.”

“You’re not gonna eat?”

He’s still standing there, but now his eyes are trained on the food, as if he was counting the grains of rice.

“A don’t think ya’d want my company.”

“I do. Stay. Please?”

The smile that shows up on his face is faint, even less visible than the sudden glint in his irises. But he stays, plates another set of dishes and sits by you at the table. The rest of the meal passes in silence; only after the bowls are empty do you speak,

“‘Samu, I’m sorry, I- I used you to—”

“Do ya regret it?” He doesn’t let you finish, his gaze is intense, taking in your confused expression. “Sleepin’ with me. D’ya regret it?”

You let the question sit in your mind for a moment, wait for your conscience to object but it doesn’t happen, so you reply simply, “No.”

“Good. I don’t either. I used ya too, ya know.” Your confusion changes into disbelief, so he leans back on the chair with a sigh and continues. “I got mad. Back in high school I stepped back from pursuing ya. I told ‘im that if he’s serious about ya, A won’t stand in the way. And then looked at ya both wishin’ t’was me. With you. But that dickhead threw it away. I was so mad that I wanted ya to be mine, even just for a moment, yanno?”

It’s a lot to take in, what the fuck are you supposed to say to that? Twin brother of your now ex-boyfriend, the one you have just spent a very pleasant night with, has been feeling something for you? For this whole time? You watch as Osamu shifts to lean on his elbows on the table, face hidden in his palms.

“Sorry for droppin’ that bomb on ya.”

“Do you… Do you still…”

“Love ya? Yeah.” Your heart skips a beat at his words.

“Wait for me. Wait until I heal.”

It’s a selfish request, you know it, but Osamu nods anyway. There’s something to look forward to now, because when you heal, maybe you’ll make the choice you were deprived of.

#osamu x reader #miya osamu x reader #osamu smut #miya osamu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #osamu x y/n #miya osamu x y/n #haikyuu x y/n #hq smut #hq x reader #hq x y/n #anilysium server collab #mysh.supernova.[hq]