#like obviously he has it. i could write up an entire post about how nate wright blatantly has undiagnosed adhd

[zosonils]

i think it'd be really funny if nate wright got diagnosed with adhd

#like obviously he has it. i could write up an entire post about how nate wright blatantly has undiagnosed adhd #i just think it'd be super fucking funny if lincoln peirce went 'fuck it why not' and did an arc about nate getting diagnosed with 80 hd #and after like a month or so of wearing out all the jokes pertaining to that it just never gets brought up again #i've read literally 4000 big nate strips in 4 days [if my math is right] send help

[evilwickedme]

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

#leverage #leverage meta #leverage redemption #leverage ot3 #parker leverage #alec hardison #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #breanna casey #harry wilson #mine

[ghstandpucks]

Cutting Edge ~ Nathan MacKinnon Ch. 6

aHey everyone! I hope you are all doing well and staying safe and healthy! I had fun writing this chapter, though it is kind of a filler to get the story where I want to go. I hope you all enjoy it! 

Also shout out to @avsfans95​, @pumpkinpatchmakar​, and @silkybiscuit​ for your kind words and tags when you reblog. I love reading them and I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the story! 

Let me know what you think and if you would like to be added to the tag list! Thanks!

Prologue Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 

The Avs won the game against the Coyotes 3 to 1, with Nate scoring the final goal for the Avs. You had been standing on the bench between Tyson and J. T. when he scored and almost bounced right off of it in your excitement. Thankfully Tyson was mindful enough to grab your arm and then help you down before you twisted an ankle. When Nate got back to the bench, he gave you a huge smile that made butterflies erupt in your stomach once again. You wanted to run over to him but knew that would not look professional, so you settled on tapping his shoulder pads like you did earlier after Andre had scored. When the game ended, you waited outside the locker room while the team showered and changed. Coach Bednar stepped out of the room to find where you had gone off to, as he thought you would like to accompany him and a few of the players to their post-game interviews. “You did great today Y/N. Nice call with Burkakovsky’s goal,” he complimented you.

“Thanks Coach. I’m glad I was able to help,” you smiled. Bednar smiled and nodded, then looked at you thoughtfully for a minute.

           “Just do me a favor and be careful when you stand on the bench. I already have to worry about my players getting hurt, I don’t need to worry about you too,” he chuckled. You laughed and nodded back.

           “Of course. I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have done that…” you tried to apologize, but were cut off.

           “I didn’t say that. I’m just asking you to be careful is all.” Bednar clarified. “If that’s what you need to do to get your voice out there then go ahead. Gabe has already told the guys to look out for you. You have definitely won them over Coach Y/L/N.” You smiled, and then followed Bednar as he motioned for you to come along to the interviews. When you got there, you stood in the back with him watching Gabe, Andre, and Nate take their seats. They were the three that scored today, so you assumed that’s why they were being interviewed. The questions came at them, from how they thought their team was going to perform this year, how off-season training went, and what they were looking forward to this season. They all answered in a way that left you in awe of the three large men, Gabe obviously charming everyone in sight, both women and men. Then a question came up that you did not expect.

           “How is it having a figure skater as a coach?” a male reporter asked with a snicker. You could feel your face flush, slightly unnerved by his tone. You knew there were people opposed to the presence of figure skaters on the team as soon as the idea went public, but you weren’t thinking of the questions that would be asked to the players about it. You also did not miss the way Nate’s eyes shot straight back to you, his jaw becoming slightly tense at the question. Gabe was the first to answer.

           “Coach Y/L/N has been a great addition to our team. She is highly skilled and has an eye for details that I think as hockey players we don’t always notice. She is also the reason we first got on the scoreboard today, so we are very thankful to have her.” Gabe stated with no room for interpretation. You smiled thankfully at him and he nodded slightly. Nate relaxed a bit, not realizing how protective he felt over you until that question came up. He could hear Gabe’s words from the game in the back of his mind, and he knew he was screwed.

~ ~ ~

           Once back at the hotel, mostly everyone retired to their rooms as the team had an early flight to San Jose for a game the following day. You had showered and changed into a pair of leggings and your Team USA sweatshirt when you heard low voices and a knock on your door. Curious as to who it could be, you looked out the peep hole before swinging the door open laughing at the sight in front of you. Tyson and Cale were standing there with what looked like every potato chip bag they could get out of the vending machine and happy smiles. You looked at them suspiciously. “Can I help you guys?”

           “We’re trying to figure out what chips are the best and since there is only two of us we need another judge. And since you are a coach, we figured you might be impartial,” Tyson explained.

           “What if I pick a different flavor than either of you?” You asked, leaning on your doorframe.

           “Then we all argue but we get to eat the chips in the process,” Cale countered.

           “So?” Tyson asked, nodding toward your room. You huffed but giggled, opening your door for the both of them to walk through. Tyson dropped all the chips onto the bed, sitting on the edge while Cale pulled over the desk chair. You leaned against the head board, your knees to your chest and looked at everything they brought. “You know what would be fun, if we Instagram lived this,” Tyson said taking out his phone. You looked at Cale and laugh as he just stared at Tyson.

           “I just want to eat the chips,” Cale mumbled.

           “You are so weird,” you laughed.

           “Coach, be quiet so I can make introductions,” Tyson said back, and you threw a bag of chips at the back of his head as he started talking. “I’m with Cale and our coach, Y/N Y/L/N who is a rude person and just threw a bag of chips at me…Yes she is the Olympic figure skater. She’s not as nice as she seems people, she made Nate skate laps the other day,” he panned his phone toward you and you just shrugged. He kept asking you and Cale questions from the chat as you all passed the bags of chips around, voting on ones you liked better over the others. You were almost in hysterics at Cale throwing a few chips at Tyson over a disagreement on the better flavor when your phone chimed next to you. You opened it to see that Nate had text you.

Nate: Was I not invited? You laughed and went to text him back when another message came in from him. Don’t laugh at me! You looked up and saw that you were in the corner of Tyson’s live feed.

Y/N: Do you feel left out? You teased him.

           “Who are you texting Coach? You look all happy,” Tyson called you out.

           “It’s none of your business Tyson,” you said, then felt a new bag of chips hit you straight in the face. “You are such a pain in the ass!” you laughed as Tyson faked shock. Cale doubled over as Tyson turned back to his phone.

           “I told you people she’s not as nice as she seems!”

           “He’s not that great either!” you yelled from your spot on the bed, picking your phone back up.

Y/N: Come save me?

Nate: Burky and I are on our way. Want anything? You smiled again, thankful Tyson and Cale were distracted by the chips and answering random questions.

Y/N: I’m good. No more chips though lol

           Around 10 minutes later there was a knock on your door. Cale got up to answer it as he was the closest. You smiled as Nate and Andre walked in. Andre grabbed a bag of chips and sat on the floor while Nate made his way over to you, handing you a Minute Maid pink lemonade. “You remembered,” you said quietly, scooting over so Nate could sit next to you. He gave you a small smile. Of course he remembered you liked pink lemonade, beside water and orange juice it’s the only other thing to drink in your fridge at all times. The guys might give him crap for being unobservant, but he pays more attention to you than anyone knew.

More chips were passed around, no one agreeing on what was better. Eventually Tyson grew tired of Instagram Live and turned it off, but not before a few questions came in as to why you were sitting so close to Nate. You hadn’t thought about it. Sitting cross legged, your right knee was resting on the top of his thigh as his legs were stretched out on the bed. Both of you had grown use to some sort of physical contact when you were around each other that it simply didn’t phase you. Apparently though, some people were too observant for their own good. Knowing Nate was more of a private person though, and not really knowing himself what was going on between the two of you (though he did speculate there had to be something), Tyson fielded the questions by either laughing them off or not acknowledging them.

“You guys, I never want to see a potato chip again,” you whined, leaning into Nate an hour later. It was around midnight at this point and you were ready for bed. Nate chuckled and patted your leg.

“Yeah this wasn’t my smartest idea,” Tyson said, falling back onto the bed.

“Which idea has been?” Andre chirped him. Tyson reached up and grabbed a pillow, nailing Andre with it.

“Hey don’t throw my pillows,” you mumbled, grabbing another pillow and smacking Tyson with it. He went to throw it back at you, but Nate stuck his arm in front of you and got it away from Tyson. Half an hour later the guys all started gathering their trash, mostly because you threatened them with more laps if they left your room dirty. You said goodnight to Tyson, Cale and Andre, walking to the door with Nate following you. As the guys walked out, Nate hung back a second.  

“I’ll come by tomorrow morning. I think we’re getting the continental breakfast before heading to the airport,” he said in a low tone, mostly so the guys couldn’t eavesdrop in the hallway. You nodded, vaguely aware that he was taking too long in the room, but also not caring entirely. Would it really be that bad if the team knew something was going on? Nate leaned forward and kissed your cheek, causing your face to turn bright red. “Sleep well Y/N.”

“Goodnight Nate,” you whispered, closing the door behind him. Nate walked out into the hallway to find Tyson casually waiting a few feet away while Andre and Cale were walking. Tyson motioned to the now shut door.

“You and coach?” he asked. Nate kept a straight face and walked past him.

“It’s none of your business,” Nate said, and Tyson’s jaw dropped.

“She was texting you earlier! I thought there was something there. I mean you did bring her hiking with us…” Tyson rambled walking next to Nate.

“Again, it is none of your business,” Nate said, giving Tyson a look that quieted the younger man.

That next morning you had your bags all packed by the time Nate came knocking on your door. He grabbed your hand and you walked to the elevator. Dropping it again before you got out of the elevator, you had breakfast with the team. After eating, everyone loaded onto the bus and headed to the airport. Landing in San Jose that afternoon, the team checked in and everyone went about their own business, getting ready for the game later that night. A short while later you were standing in the tunnel with everyone about to take the ice when you heard a familiar voice. “Is that my little Y/N?” You turned around with a big smile.

“Brian!” You ran over to the bald older man and gave him a hug.

“What about me?” A female popped out from behind him.

“Kristie!” you gave her a hug also. The figure skating coaches for the Sharks started to tell you about their experiences. Yeah, you were good friends with Olympians Brian Boitano and Kristie Yamaguchi. “Wait so are you both coaching tonight? I thought you were taking turns with the team?” you asked them.

“I’m coaching tonight. Kristie is just here,” Brian said.

“Bret and I came to see the game because I wanted to see you,” Kristie filled you in. She was married to former pro hockey player Bret Hedican. “How is everything going for you though? Congrats on the win last night!” You smiled at them.

“Thank you. It’s been good! I’ve been enjoying working with them.”

“Is there a reason why number 29 keeps looking over here to check on you?” Brian asked in a lower tone with a chuckle. You turned around and caught Nate’s eyes, smiling softly and waving him over.

“No. I think they’re just becoming protective of me,” you said off handed. Kristie gave you a knowing look though. She was married to a hockey player after all. Nate walked up beside you, and you introduced him to the two figure skaters. He shook their hands and smiled as you said how much you admired them growing up. After that it was time to get ready to head out of the tunnel, and you said your goodbyes to your friends. But not before Brian turned to Kristie, telling her he needed to try something.

“You’re going down Y/L/N!” he shouted down the hallway. You turned around quickly.

“Bring it Boitano!” Brian laughed and ran back toward you, giving you a high five and running back off to his team. You laughed and turned back toward your team, a few of the guys staring at you.

“Please never do that again Coach. You need to learn how to chirp better,” Tyson teased you. You rolled your eyes dramatically and followed the guys out of the tunnel. It was fun being able to see Brian coach his team during the game. You also saw his horrified face after you stood on the bench for the first time that game. Nothing was wrong though, EJ had put his arm up behind you so you wouldn’t fall. The game ended, 2-1 Avs. During the last period you told Kadri how to switch up his footwork and he scored. You knew how Brian and Kristie skated, so you were able to modify and work around it. Also, the fact that the team trusted you enough to make the changes you suggested made you extremely happy.

After the interviews ended and you had said one last goodbye to Brian and Kristie, you boarded the bus with everyone and headed to the airport. Since the flight wasn’t too long, the team was scheduled for a red eye to get everyone back home to Denver before their home opener in four days. You had settled into your seat after takeoff, earbuds in listening to some music and staring out the window when you felt someone sit next to you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Nate siting there with his own earbuds in. “It’s too crowded back there,” he said quietly when you took one of your earbuds out. You nodded, and threw the other half of your blanket over his lap. From years of traveling, you always brought a blanket with you. He smiled and grabbed your hand under the blanket, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he reclined the seat a bit and closed his eyes. You could only imagine how tired the team must be. You casually turned back to the window, relaxing into what was left of your two in a half hour flight.  

Tags: @bqstqnbruin​ @avsfans95​ @andreiaafaria​

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #hockey imagine #nathan mackinnon x reader #nathan mackinnon imagine #nate mackinnon x reader #nate mackinnon imagine #Cutting Edge

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Thanks for replying! Could you possibly link the rp blog? I love your headcanons! What do the Cobras and Miyagi-Dos think of them? I like to think one of the characters in canon came up with their ship name, who do you think it was?- Cherry

But of course, Cherry!!! Those headcanons were so fun to write :D It’s honestly one of my favorite headcanon/ask posts that I’ve done, I think. I love thinking about how Johnny would react to Hawk and Demetri dating XD And writing that paragraph about how I think Demetri and Eli met was honestly the most fun ride haha

@sipping--snowflakes runs a Demetri RPG blog I think, it’s @binarybrother1! Idk if it’s still active, you’ll have to hit them up about that. I also think @hawkxatxheart​ RPs as Hawk and ships the binary boyfriends, if you want to hit them up too!

Aight screw it, Imma do the most complete analysis I can XD

Miguel ships it SO hard XD Like Miguel is a very smart and intuitive person who seems pretty good at picking up on emotions and such (he was able to almost instantly call bullshit on Kreese’s war stories, IIRC), so I’m almost certain that he picked up that there were Some Kinda Vibes going on with those two from day fucking one. But obviously he doesn’t wanna outright say anything, especially not at a school where kids will get bullied for literally ANYTHING and something like kids being gay for each other could legit put a target on both their backs if it got out. So he lets these boys figure shit out on their own time but is also like “...yeah, they’ll realize it eventually, I’m sure.” XD And you dun best believe he just went “ohhhhh my godddddd” when they fell out and developed a super intense rivalry because he’s like guys??? Do you NOT realize being that obsessed with fucking with each other...kinda means you’re obsessed WITH each other??? Even though you both have other friends now??? Doesn’t seem like normal best friend behavior :/ But of course our boy doesn’t want to interfere unless it gets really bad--and he’s got his own issues to deal with, anyhow. I imagine after the dojos join and Demetri and Eli start dating after a while, Miguel is just like “FUCKING FINALLY!!! Sam pay up, you owe me 20 bucks!!!” He’s so happy they finally dragged their heads out of their asses and realized they loved each other, because man, you can bet your ass Miguel knew they did from the get-go.

Sam I think I’ve touched on a fair bit in my other posts so I won’t get into a whole big long thing, but she’s...certainly leery of them dating at first, mainly because she remembers Demetri’s issues with Eli are what pushed him to join Miyagi-Do in the first place, and she witnessed him breaking Dem’s arm so she’s pretty...not crazy about Eli XD But Miguel and Demetri both vouch for Eli a LOT, and reassure Sam over and over that he’s a good guy at heart and just let Kreese get in his head and fell victim to his brainwashing for a while. Sam comes around to the idea after a while, and she can see how happy he makes Demetri and ultimately trusts Demetri to be smart enough to not date someone who’s going to treat him badly. Then eventually she and Eli bond over what a fuck Kyler is (he bullied Sam too, don’t forget!!! And they DATED, so the thing he did with the blowjob rumors was a HUGE violation of the pretty intimate trust you have with a partner) and after that she is VERY on board with him and Demetri dating XD

Chris is...Not A Fan, to put it lightly XD Like he saw firsthand how much of a fuck Hawk was to him and Mitch when they first joined Cobra Kai and how he basically hazed them both for funsies because he let the tournament win get to his head. And hell, HE was one of the ones who got sicced on Demetri in the mall and tried to get Hawk to back down, and SAW that he wouldn’t. And when Hawk was about to go after Demetri at Moon’s party, Chris was the first Miyagi-Do to step in and protect him. And, of course, he saw Hawk break Demetri’s arm, too. So he’s no stranger to the antagonism Hawk has always had for Demetri in particular, and doesn’t trust that it’s completely gone. However, Chris is a pretty down-to-earth and reasonable dude, so with a LOT of vouching from Demetri, I can see him coming around eventually. Also if he was willing to give Mitch a second chance, ain’t no reason he can’t do the same for Hawk. And Mitch would probably vouch for Hawk too, after he and Chris became friends again--after all, Mitch DID end up becoming pretty good friends with Hawk after all the hazing stuff. So ultimately Chris ends up being at least civil with Hawk, but he sometimes glares at him when no one’s looking like “I’ve got my eye on you, you’d better not hurt my bro or there’s gonna be hell to pay”

Mitch is fairly indifferent, I think, although he DOES find the irony of Hawk now being head-over-heels smitten with the same dude he sent him to beat up in the mall and the same dude who told everyone Hawk wets the bed to be IMMENSELY hilarious. He loves to tease Hawk about it, like “Man, what would you have done a year ago if you’d known you’re now regularly making out with that shrimpy little nerd???” and Hawk is like “oh my god shut UP” but then he turns away and smirks because the joke is on Mitch--he TOTALLY still liked Demetri through All That Mess Last Year, he just...had a very poor way of processing it XD

I imagine Bert kinda looks up to Hawk as an older brother figure (there’s a snippet I’ve seen some gifs of of Hawk teaching him how to block and it’s actually really cute--huge Big Bro/Little Bro Energy) and probably also admires Demetri quite a bit for trying to protect him and Nate during the Christmas party fight, so he’s definitely on board!!! His two honorary big brothers dating--he’s thrilled!!! Nate not so much, since you dun best believe he still remembers Hawk and his goons “kicking the fucking shit out of him” XD Nonetheless, Nate probably also has a soft spot for Demetri for trying to protect him, so with lots of vouching from Demetri (and Bert too, once he and Nate are friends again), he eventually comes around to the idea of Hawk and Demetri dating.

ON TO THE SECOND QUESTION, FINALLY!

I actually think Aisha is the one who comes up with their ship name!!! XD Allow me to elaborate--so at some point Aisha comes back (because fuck it, I miss her), either to join the new merged dojo or just to visit, because ain’t no one telling me she didn’t keep in touch with at least SAM and visit occasionally if she was still in the city or general area. So she walks into the dojo to go see Sam and her other friends and start catching up with everyone, and--oh, Sam and Miguel are in the same weird, combined karate dojo now that isn’t Miyagi-Do OR Cobra Kai??? Super wack, but okay. Then she sees Demetri and Hawk holding hands and her eyes get really wide and she’s like “Wait, you two are DATING now??? That’s...kind of gross :/”

And Demetri and Hawk just freeze up for a hot sec because is Aisha of all people about to be judgmental??? But then she immediately follows up with “Well, aren’t you the binary brothers? I don’t know if I can get behind incest, guys.” And Hawk just breaks out snickering and is like “Shit, man, she’s right. We should probably update that.” And Demetri’s like “NO WAIT I GOT THIS” and then he just goes “dEmEtRi aNd eLi, BiNaRy BoYfRiEnDs” complete with the super cringey robot arm and Eli is like “Oh my GOD I am GOING to kill you” as the entire dojo proceeds to Lose Their Shit.

Also you dun best believe that literally every picture Aisha takes with Hawk and Demetri after they all start hanging out again (because I WANT THEM TO, FIGHT ME) is captioned things like “Chillin’ with the binary boyfriends!” “Eating tacos with the binary boyfriends!” “Doing karate with the binary boyfriends!” and before too long she refuses to refer to Demetri and Eli as anything else XD

Also yes I know Moon was also there during the Binary Brothers scene but she most likely wouldn’t be cheeky and tease them about it later. Aisha absolutely WOULD.

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #binary brothers #eli x demetri #demetri x hawk #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #miguel diaz #sam larusso #samantha larusso #chris cobra kai #mitch cobra kai #bert cobra kai #nate cobra kai #aisha robinson #cobra kai #hawk #demetri #eli #my askbox

[mysteriesofloves]

now you have to tell how you would rewrite s6

i was going to make a post about it but then i realized i mostly had a first/last episode and no actual plot lines (although do plot lines matter in this show). i did just see that @bisexualdanhumphrey just answered this here and their answer fills in a lot of the blanks i have (the serena/carter wasn’t something i thought of but i love that bit) so read that ! i also remembered that i’d written something along these lines when i started this blog (over a year ago!) and i found that post here.

right off the bat gossip girl would retire. her identity would never be revealed because that’s so obviously not the point. with the way gg is used in the show she’s much less of a voyeur and more of a platform, so: i’d have the rest of the season be about the gang trying to grapple with, what now? they grew up knowing their best friends could share their most damaging secrets and it wouldn’t even be that much of a surprise. i’d really want to go into the effects that has on the characters and their relationships.

blair leaves chuck in the first episode because i want her alone for the entire rest of the season. oh, and she finds out about dan and serena in the first episode too. maybe gossip girl does what she did in the s2 finale and drops a huge blast with everything she knows (idk how she knows about dan/serena but stuff like that never matters in this show). i’m imagining a lot of screaming and crying happening in this episode. everyone fights with everyone. it’s like a real housewives reunion episode.

pretty much, i’d really want this season to be about the characters instead of some convoluted plot lines. i’d want them all at their very worst in that first episode back, and all of them working their way back up through the season; and they’re not doing it so they can get back together with anyone. it’s for themselves. i think i’d also really work on repairing the blair/serena friendship more than anything, and not just surface level like we got. i want to look at how blair is too harsh on serena, and how serena always feels like she’s never at fault. blair tries and fails at waldorf designs because she’s 21 and that’s okay. dan tries and fails in his writing career cause he’s 21 and that’s okay. i’d want a big emphasis for all the characters on not repeating their parents mistakes, but all of them at some point in the season coming really close to doing so.

i’d have dan and blair rebuild their friendship. it would be more of a backdrop against the blair/serena rebuilding but it would very much be there. it would take a lot of work to rebuild their trust in each other but i definitely think it’s possible, just hard to do in only 10 episodes, so their friendship would be the focus. i’d put in a callback to bad news blair (because like i said, i’m allowed!) mid way through the season, but with dan being the one who storms out and blair being the one to follow him. i’d have their last scene be something akin to the last scenes of 5.17/5.21 – it’s clear that there’s still work to be done, but it’s also clear that they choose each other.

the five years later was something i found incredibly unnecessary because i much prefer open endings and more leeway post-series for characters but if i was going to give them one it would obviously be a dair wedding, because i’m me. i also think that knowing they took those five years to continue to grow would be nice (instead of just a shotgun wedding, lol). jenny is thriving as a young designer, eric is working helping underprivileged children access mental health resources, nate and serena would be happy by themselves (but there’s enough wiggle-room that you can think they’ll get together eventually, if you so please). chuck would be the one stepping off a private jet flanked by press, and if i had to give him a happy ending (which i would not but alas), i’d have him with eva, and a son (still named henry, because it actually makes way more sense in this context). but what i would actually do is have him step down from bass industries (five years later is 2017, so he’d absolutely be me-too’d). of course the happily-ever-after doesn’t sit right with me in canon but even here i’d prefer no flash forward in favour of trusting that these characters are going to actually work on themselves. i don’t think every story needs to be tied up so neatly, especially one with characters as messy as this!!

#i firmly see blair serena and dan as the leads of the show and i would go back to that focus in the final season #gossip girl #asks #gg meta

[bosspigeon]

the idealistic things i believed

Pairing: M!Detective/Adam du Mortain

Words:  2723

Summary: After misplacing their detective on one of his rare days off, Unit Bravo track him down to the local park, where they find him engaging in an unexpected activity.

And Adam just finds him engaging ;3c

I will not apologize for that dumb joke. TL;DR I just wanted to write about my big sad goth boy and also Adam’s Intense Denial. EXTREMELY last minute title from “No Sunlight” by Death Cab For Cutie

(Note: in my first post, tumblr seems to have shuffled some paragraphs, so i’m reposting to fix it!!! Love this Fully Functional Website!!!)

“You know, Adam, if you ever leave the Agency, you could probably get a job as a private investigator. Maybe even a bloodhound! Just something to think about.”

When Adam actually deigns to look at him, Felix is grinning, hands tucked into his pockets and chin tipped up. Adam rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.

Nate stifles a chuckle under his humming along to the music drifting from the nearby pavilion, where they now know Detective Priestley to be, thanks to Adam tracking him down.

After‌ ‌working with Arlo (the detective, he forcefully amends) ‌for‌ ‌so‌ ‌many‌ ‌months,‌ ‌Adam‌ ‌is‌ ‌deeply‌ ‌attuned‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌scent‌ ‌of‌ ‌him.‌ ‌It‌ ‌is‌ ‌easy‌ ‌enough‌ ‌to‌ ‌find‌ ‌his‌ ‌trail‌ ‌and‌ ‌follow‌ ‌it,‌ ‌which,‌ ‌contrary‌ ‌to‌ ‌Felix’s‌ ‌snide‌ ‌comment,‌ ‌is‌ ‌not‌ ‌unusual‌ ‌in‌ ‌their‌ ‌line‌ ‌of‌ ‌work.‌ ‌Relying‌ ‌on‌ ‌their‌ ‌senses‌ ‌has‌ ‌helped‌ ‌them‌ ‌track‌ ‌down‌ ‌many‌ ‌targets‌ ‌in‌ ‌their‌ ‌time‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌unit, so Adam does not see the need for Felix to single him out. If anything, Mason would have fared better, seeing as his senses were the strongest of them all. But Mason’s aversion to sunlight, as well as the sounds and smells of a busy weekend at Wayhaven’s Municipal Gardens had proven to be difficult to manage, so Adam took over.

This all could have been avoided had Detective Priestley simply told them he wouldn’t be at home today. Even Agent Priestley had been confused, as her son tended to prefer staying at home on his rare off days.

But, no, he left without telling anyone, and with the recent increase in trapper activity, his mother was keen for at least one of them to keep an eye on him. As the rest of them were unoccupied, Nate was happy to turn it into a “day out.”

At least he seems pleased.

The pavilion is partially screened by a line of tall, tidy, flowering hedges, and the scent of them is thick on the gentle breeze that carries the detective’s low, gentle voice, accompanied by airy instrumental music, as well as a chorus of smaller voices, high-pitched with youthful enthusiasm. The four of them skirt the hedges to find the pavilion’s entrance, and stop to take in the odd sight.

Detective Priestley stands tall and proud at the front of a staggered group of small children, none of whom reach higher than his waist. He is simply dressed in a loose tank top and joggers, his hair braided back to keep it out of his face and a pair of thick-framed glasses perched on his strong nose. The children mimic his posture to varying degrees of success, most of them dressed in similar loose athletic clothing, some in frilly tutus. On a table behind him, his phone is hooked up to a set of speakers that play light, upbeat classical music that Nate obviously not only recognizes, but approves of, as he hums happily and waggles his fingers as if he is directing the symphony.

“Alright,” the detective says, his voice clear and strong, but endlessly gentle, “is everyone ready?”

A chorus of little voices call out an enthusiastic “Yes!”

“Good! First position?” Arlo waits, watching the children quickly position their feet, some of them looking down to make very sure they’re correctly placed. Once the majority of them are in position, he takes the position himself, easily and confidently. The few of them who struggled at first quickly mimic him, and he beams, a strange expression to see on the normally reserved man. “Perfect! Now… second position?”

He repeats the process, waiting for most of them to take the position before he does himself, and allows the rest of them to adjust.

As he guides them through the next, and the next, Nate swats at Mason’s arm and hisses at him to put out his cigarette, which he does with a hearty eye roll. Felix has begun attempting the positions himself, grinning all the while, and Adam is watching the spectacle with his head cocked.

The detective puts them through their paces with a quiet, confident patience, and the children are not only delighted, but clearly well-practiced, even as young as they are. They are also all clearly familiar and comfortable with Detective Priestley, which indicates they are used to being in his care. Once he’s finished with the warm-up routine, he takes a few long steps back, and squares his broad shoulders, falling almost instinctively into what he displayed for the children as third position.

“Alright, so we’re going to go over some things that I taught you last time. I’m going to show you the moves, and we’re going to see if you can tell me what they’re called. Does that sound good?”

There is an exuberant cry of agreement that makes Mason wince, and he stalks away to stand in the shade of a copse of trees, re-lighting the cigarette Nate had him put out.

The detective rises easily onto his toes on one foot, lifting the opposite leg and raising one arm skyward. The motion is effortlessly graceful in a way that is surprising of a man so tall. Adam is entirely entranced, frozen until Arlo drops the pose and smiles at his little class. “Alright, who can tell me what that was?”

The children clamor to answer, hands shooting into the air and waving furiously, with little shouts of “Oh, me! Pick me, Arlo!”

He points to one little girl with her bright ginger hair in braids. “Maisie?” he asks.

“An arabesque!” she practically shouts, loud enough to make Felix grin. The detective laughs warmly, and something strange settles deep into Adam’s gut.

“Good!” the detective says. “Alright, we’ll try a harder one this time, since you’re all so sharp.”

A few of the little ones giggle delightedly and cover their faces, murmuring together and beaming.

He falls into position again, breathing deeply, walking across the pavilion. As he passes the entrance, his eyes catch Adam’s over the heads of his class, and they widen briefly. He pauses, almost stumbling, for just a split second, his ears going faintly red. Adam can hear the sound of his heart, the rush of his blood, even from several feet away. But he breaks eye contact, shakes his head, straightens his posture, and spins to face the far railing, standing parallel to the group of children watching him with rapt attention. And then he rushes forward and leaps into the air, arms raised and long legs outstretched, practically floating across the pavilion, and when he lands, it is on one foot with an assured lightness that hardly makes a sound on the hardwood floor. He spins to face the children, and pointedly does not look at the three vampires blinking at him in stunned silence. His chest is rising and falling a bit more quickly than it was before, his freckled cheeks flushed, but otherwise he looks at ease.

“How about that one?” he asks, smiling.

The children seem less assured of this one, whispering amongst themselves before a little boy with his spiraling curls held out of his face with a colorful strip of cloth calls, “A real big jump!”

A tiny girl with huge dark eyes raises her hand and tremulously asks, “Mister Arlo, are you an angel? ‘Cause you just flew!”

He laughs, sharp and startled and louder than Adam’s ever heard him, beaming so wide his cheeks must surely ache with it. “No, I’m not, but thank you for the compliment,” he chuckles, pale eyes twinkling. “And, actually, Jacobe, you’re not far off. That was called a grand jeté. It means big throw.”

“‘Cause you throw yourself into the air?” the dark-eyed girl asks, still gawking at him like she doesn’t quite believe his not being an angel. Adam thinks, quite without his permission, that he is not entirely convinced himself.

Arlo smiles wider. “Not quite. It’s because you throw one leg out in a certain direction while keeping the other in a particular position when you land.” He does a smaller leap as an example, one that he easily segues into another leg of the lesson, and he leads them all in a quick practice run of several beginner’s forms and moves, letting them prance and bounce and spin across the pavilion, all the while guiding them with the same moves, but on a wider, more sweeping scale with his much larger frame. He looks rather like a lean, graceful bird followed by an eager flock of awkward, but enthusiastic, fledglings, and he effusively praises and gently corrects them, occasionally taking one aside to ease them through moves they struggle with. Each and every one looks up at him as if he hung the moon and stars, sweetly awed by this gentle giant of a human, and when he finally pulls away from them, he leaves an older boy who looks to be around ten to oversee their practice.

He hurries towards Unit Bravo, and his posture immediately changes when he is out of line of sight of his little class, from strong and tall and carefully poised, to hunching, sheepish, and fidgety. “What are you all doing here?” he hisses, glancing over Adam’s head to, presumably, catch sight of Mason lurking under the trees a ways away.

“You’re a ballerina?” Felix blurts, and a vivid red crawls up the detective’s chest and neck to stain his ears and cheeks. The warm rush of it almost makes Adam dizzy.

“No,” he blurts, casting a quick look over his shoulder to make sure he hasn’t interrupted his students. “I was a dancer. A long time ago.”

“Since when?” Felix presses, practically bouncing with the excitement of discovery.

“I went to art school!” he blurts, dragging a hand down his face. “It wasn’t my major or anything, but...” He twitches under the attention, and the flush to his skin clings stubbornly. Prettily.

“Well, you’re clearly very talented,” Nate offers, smiling reassuringly.

“You did not tell Agent Priestley you wouldn’t be home,” Adam finally manages to interject, finding his voice and almost instantly regretting it when the man flinches at his sharp tone. “You should not have left without letting one of us know.”

Arlo rubs anxiously at one arm, the dark band of black ink twisting around his bicep, looking away and down towards his feet. Adam follows his gaze, down to his clearly worn but well taken care of black leather flats. “I’m sorry, I forgot. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to hold a lesson, and the kids were starting to get antsy about it. I was getting a lot of calls, and I figured since things had settled down a bit, I could get back to it.”

Nate quickly interjects before Adam can say anything, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop whatever words (almost certain to be abrasive, even Adam can admit) are about to come. “Of course, perfectly understandable! We wouldn’t want to get in the way of your plans, we just need to know where you are with things still so,” he pinches his lips shut, glancing towards the dancing children, “precarious.”

“It’s usually Sundays, if I can swing it,” Arlo offers sheepishly. “They have a regular teacher, Mrs. Golightly, but sometimes she asks me to fill in because the kids like me. They’ve missed me.” He smiles, tense and strained. “And, I mean, I’ve missed them a lot too. It’s nice to focus on something that’s not, y’know…” He rubs at the side of his neck, thumbing habitually over faint, raised white lines.

Adam clenches his jaw, remembering Arlo, weak and bleeding, dropping to his knees like a hanged man after the rope’s been cut, Murphy biting into his neck and tearing it open--

Nate’s hand squeezes his shoulder just this side of too hard to ground him, and he lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding in one tremulous exhale.

“I just wanted some of my old normal back,” Arlo says softly. “I like working with you all, I want to protect this town, but sometimes I just… I really don’t want to think about the fact that there are people out there who want to sell me to the highest bidder so they can bleed me dry. Just want to think about teaching some little ones to pirouette.” He huffs out a weak little laugh, and looks back towards the class, who are following along with their substitute’s instructions like a tiny, well-oiled machine. “That’s Marco,” he explains, gesturing to the older boy confidently leading the lesson. “He’s really good. Thinking about going pro someday.”

“Did you ever think about going pro?” Felix asks.

Arlo squirms and hesitates to answer, though he does still look relieved by the subject change. “Sort of? When I was younger.” He sighs. “It was never going to happen, though. So I mostly just stuck to the hobbyist side of it. Small time school shows and the like.”

“Why wouldn’t it happen?” Adam asks, brows furrowing. Arlo looks up at him, as if surprised it was Adam to speak.

“I’m too bloody tall,” he laughs weakly. “The professional dance world is really competitive, yeah, but it’s also very, ah, particular. You’ve got to look a certain way, fit a certain mold. I could practice all day every day, perfect every technique, but I’m still not going to have a chance when I’m seven inches taller than the tallest guy in any company. There’s technique arguments, too, about what sort of things you can’t do as well as someone smaller, but it usually comes down to looks.” He shrugs his broad shoulders, shoving his hands into the loose pockets of his joggers. “It’s not a big deal. There’s a one in a million chance I’d have made it professionally anyway. And it’s tough on the body, too. Pro careers run short. I like doing it on the side without worrying how long I’ve got left.” He smiles thinly.

Adam’s not sure what he’s going to say to that, lips parting to offer something, but he doesn’t get the chance, because the music suddenly changes from some sweet and tinkling piano to a harsh battery of electric guitar, bass, and drums. Arlo flinches away from him, turning towards the group of children now jumping up and down around the speakers and squealing along to the harsh, growling vocals. He laughs breathlessly.

“Guess the dance playlist ran out,” he says, before hurrying back to tend to the children. Several of them have taken out their ribbons and headbands and are tossing their hair around and miming playing guitar, sticking out their tongues and making odd hand gestures.

Felix cackles, and then runs over to join the fun, leaving Adam and Nate looking on, Nate chortling softly to himself.

“He’s full of surprises, our Arlo,” he says. Adam pulls his gaze away from the detective, bending over to pull off one of his shoes at the insistence of that dark-eyed little girl, to see him smiling that gently knowing smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Quiet,” Adam growls.

“I didn’t say anything,” Nate protests, but he turns back to watch the spectacle that is the detective sitting on the floor while the children pass around his ballet flat so they can compare it to their own. The size difference is comical, and sends the group into paroxysms of laughter. Even Felix, who seems to have ingratiated himself to the class easily enough, offers up his own shoe, and sticks it into the flat. Even Arlo laughs at that, a husky rumble that has Adam pressing a hand to his chest as if to stop the way his heart reacts. Nate raises his eyebrows, and Adam glowers at him, dropping the hand to his side and clenching his fingers hard. “I didn’t say anything,” Nate repeats, “but I do think it’s nice to know something about the detective’s day-to-day life, when he’s not with us, don’t you? Becoming more familiar with his habits. As a friend and not just an obligation?”

“It is useful to know his daily comings and goings to continue to protect him,” Adam allows.

Nate sighs. “It’s a start, certainly,” he says, and Adam refuses to ask what he means by that.

#pidge writes #the wayhaven chronicles #adam/m!detective #adam du mortain #wayhaven fanfic #DO NOT JUDGE MY PERFUNCTORY GOOGLE SEARCH BALLET KNOWLEDGE #I KNOW NOTHING #SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF I JUST WANTED TO BE GAY #anyway arlo went to art school #he is also 6'7" #big boy #soft goth man #the working title of this was big goth baby ballet so i hope u enjoy that #also the baby mosh pit i mentioned at one point #yeehaw #THIS IS A REPOST BECAUSE I HAD TO FIX TUMBLR'S FUCKUP IM SORRY #IT WAS GOING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY #happy valentine's day i guess!!!! #oc: arlo priestley

[catnippackets]

have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings #Anonymous #ask #this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now

[eberles]

Love, Rafe♡

Part 5 - 5 Years Later

Rafe Cameron x OC

A/N: AHHH once again there are a lot of time gaps, i tried to make it as easy to understand and follow along as possible! There’s only one more chapter left after this, thank you guys so so much for reading!! If you’ve seen the movie, please note that I left the funeral scene out.

Warnings: angst, swearing

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

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“I’m not jealous, Zoe, I feel sorry for you, and I can’t do this.” Rafe laughed out and walked away from Zoe leaving her on the side walk for the second time that night. 

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It’s been a few months since Zoe and Rafe’s fight in Boston and they haven’t had much contact with each other since that night. Rafe was beginning to get a little lonely these days with just him and Katie together all the time. He was ready to start settling down and he wanted Katie to have a chance at having a mother figure in her life. Little did he know it would be her actual mother, Olivia, to show up at his apartment door.

“Olivia, I uh, wh-what are you doing here?” Rafe asked, stuttering through his words while making awkward eye contact with Olivia. Truth be told, it was weird for him to see her. Rafe had always assumed she would never come back, it has been 5 years after all.

“It’s been 3 years, Rafe...I miss my family. I’m not the same naive girl I was when I left, can I come in?” Olivia said with a nervous tone.

“It’s been 5 years, Olivia, not 3. And no, I don’t think you can come in, not while Katie is home anyways.” Rafe said wanting to just close the door in her face and be done with it.

“I’m so sorry Rafe, but there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in the last 5 years that I haven’t thought about her! Does she look like me at all? Does she have my blonde hair? Does she talk like me?” Olivia asked with a genuine voice, wanting to know more about the baby she abandoned all those years ago. 

“Oh, please, that’s bullshit!” Rafe replied trying to keep his voice low so Katie wouldn’t come running to the door from her room.

“Please, Rafe, you have to give me another chance, i’m different, I promise.” Olivia looked at Rafe with the post pleading eyes he’d ever seen from her. And he stood there for a few minutes just staring at her, contemplating letting Olivia back into his life. Back into his daughters life.

“One chance, you get one chance, don’t screw it up. Seriously, you won’t get another one.” Rafe made himself perfectly clear and Olivia promised not to fuck anything up with him and Katie, and she kept that promise.

For their first meeting together Rafe decided to bring the girls to the beach so they can fly kites together. Rafe thought it was really sweet being able to see Katie bond with her mother even if it was just flying kites. Katie had one hell of a time and she really started to get accustomed to having Olivia around.

After that day, the 3 of them spent a lot of time together so Olivia and Katie could get to know each other better. Olivia and Rafe helped Katie with her homework, they went to the movies, they cooked together, they played tennis, and went to the beach. The 3 of them did everything together and it only took a few months for Rafe to start developing actual feelings for Olivia. She definitely was not the same girl who had left them all those years ago, he actually liked this version of her. And for the first time in 6 years, Rafe was ready to have a real relationship with someone. He wanted to belong to someone. 

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Two years later and it came as a huge surprise to Zoe when she received a letter in the mail from Rafe. Not just any letter though, it was a wedding invitation for Rafe and Olivia. Zoe didn’t attend the wedding though and Rafe ignored her calls because of it. And when Rafe and Olivia moved out of their small apartment after the wedding and moved into a house together, Zoe was moving out the perfect Boston apartment she lived in with Nate. 

It’s been about 2 months since Rafe got married and he wanted nothing else, but to call Zoe and see how she was doing, so he did.

“Hello?” Rafe called Zoe’s home phone and wasn’t expecting an unfamiliar female voice to answer. 

“Uh, hi? Is Zoe there?” Rafe asked confused, but he could hear on the other end of the line that the mystery girl told Nate that someone was calling for Zoe.

“Rafe? Is that you?” Nate asked when the girl handed him the phone.

“Yea, it’s me. Where is Zoe? Who just answered the phone?” Rafe was mad now and it was showing through his words.

“It was Melissa, now calm down, Zoe moved out, we broke up, it was actually the day of your wedding, when she left.” Nate spoke softly into the phone, Rafe quickly hung up since he didn’t care to ask any further questions.

From Rafe: Oh Zoe, if only i’d known...also, Melissa?

From Zoe: Melissa is the girl Nate was cheating on me with, turns out she’s pregnant.

From Rafe: Oh Zoe :(

From Zoe: It’s okay, he sucked anyways.

Rafe couldn’t sleep that night. All he could think about was Zoe. 

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Five years later and Katie is now 12. She acts how every pre-teen acts. Loud music, wearing makeup, annoying Rafe, it’s all the same. She even had a boy best friend, Toby, they met when they were in kindergarten and spent all of their time together since, and frankly, they reminded Rafe a lot of him and Zoe. One day when Rafe was at work with his father a familiar face walked in, it was pretty random and it took Rafe by a complete surprise.

“Jeremy?!” Rafe asked surprised. He hasn’t seen Jeremy since that awkward day on the sidewalk when Katie was a baby.

“Rafe Cameron. I didn’t know you worked here.” Jeremy said shocked.

“My dad owns the place, actually.” Rafe said matter of factly. 

“Wow, you gonna take it over one day, then?” Jeremy laughed out.

“Yea, but I mean, look at you! You’ve really taken off with your acting right?” Rafe asked, even though he didn’t care much, he just wanted the attention off of himself.

“Oh yea, and I travel all the time too, New York, LA, Boston, Chicago, it’s crazy!” Jeremy replied, very obviously gloating the fact he could go anywhere anytime. 

“Boston? You should get in touch with Zoe!” Rafe suggested.

“Zoe? You guys still talk?” Jeremy asked surprised.

“Of course! And she could use a friendly face.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Jeremy responded, while Rafe just silently rolled his eyes. Jeremy always had the “i’m better than everyone” attitude, and Rafe could always see right threw it.

A few days after Rafe’s encounter with Jeremy, Zoe decided to write a heartfelt letter to Rafe about all the feelings she’s had for him over the years. It was random, but she was missing Rafe an excruciating amount lately and couldn’t care it any longer. 

Rafe,

You deserve someone who loves you with every beat of her heart, someone you’ll always be there for you, and you’ll love every part of you...

That letter didn’t end up in the hands of Rafe, though. It did end up in the hands of Olivia, however. She opened the letter and wasn’t too pleased with what it entailed and took it upon herself to hide it from Rafe. After not hearing a response from Rafe, Zoe decided to text him to see where his head was at.

From Zoe: Rafe, I understand that you haven’t been in touch. And I just need to know one thing. Are you happy with her?

From Rafe: There’s not much I got right in my life, but this family, somehow we’re making it work. So I guess the one word answer to your question should be, “yes.”

“Babe, come back to bed.” Jeremy spoke, making Zoe lift her head from her phone with a disappointed look etched onto her face after reading Rafe’s last message. 

Another few weeks later and Rafe had a business trip with his father planned for the entire weekend which would mean leaving Katie alone with Olivia. Which was fine, in the last 5 years they had been alone together, of course, but Olivia was not expecting for Rafe to come home early after fighting with his father. 

When Rafe walked into his house he was more than confused to see a man’s coat hung up in his entry way. Making his way around the house he quickly noticed that Katie wasn’t home and there was pieces of clothing scattered around the stairs and halls. Once he got up to the bedroom he shared with Olivia he had no problem storming right in, since he assumed Olivia wasn’t going to be alone. It didn’t take long for Rafe to pull the man off of Olivia and punch him square in the face.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Rafe yelled angrily as Olivia just sat there with a shocked expression on her face. She quickly realized he was talking to both of them. They made their way out of his house pretty fast and Rafe immediately started throwing all of Olivia’s shit into boxes, not wanting to look at it anymore. As he was going threw her drawers, he noticed one of them was locked and after finally prying it open he found a letter addressed to him from Zoe. 

Rafe,

You deserve someone who loves you with every beat of her heart, someone you’ll always be there for you, and you’ll love every part of you, especially your flaws. I know Katie needs her mom. I don’t want to intrude. So if this is all wrong, just ignore it and I promise i’ll never bring the subject up again. Olivia’s not the girl for you, Rafe. Twice i’ve let you slip through my fingers. Let’s stop being afraid and take the chance. I know now I can make you happy. Call me if you feel the same way. 

Love, Zoe

“Fuck.” Rafe whispered with tears in his eyes after reading the letter. 

From Rafe: Zoe, are you there?

From Zoe: ???

From Rafe: Can you talk?

From Zoe: I don’t think you wanna talk to me

From Rafe: Zoe, please? You’re being weird?

After that text, Rafe received an incoming FaceTime call from Zoe, except it wasn’t Zoe on the other end of the line, it was in fact Jeremy.

“Jeremy? What are you doing there?” Rafe asked, utterly shocked that he answered Zoe’s phone.

“I live here now, I moved in.” Jeremy laughed out as Zoe came up behind Jeremy to see who he was talking to.

“Rafe?!” Zoe asked, surprised.

“Babe, now that he’s here, you may as well tell him what we discussed!” Jeremy said excitedly, while wrapping his arms around Zoe and pulling her into his lap.

“Tell me what?” Rafe asked nervously.

“We’re getting married! The wedding is next week, we know it’s fast, but it was the only time that worked since i have a movie to shoot soon. You have to come, obviously. Zoe wants you to give a toast.” Jeremy interrupted Zoe when she started to say it and she kept staring at Rafe through the screen. The only thing Rafe could do is smile and nod his head. He didn’t know what to say, if he had read the letter when it was delivered, things would be much different right now.

Part 6

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#outer banks #obx #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron blurb #outer banks imagine

[theoriginalladya]

Dragon Age II - Meghan Hawke/Nathaniel Howe, Sebastian Vael *ears perked* *grabby hands* :D for your WIP folders?

Hehehehe   Thought that might get your attention! :)

Okay, so let me start with Meghan and Nate.  Meghan is the only Hawke I’ve ever played (dual wielding rogue).  I ended up playing her twice because on my first playthrough (romanced Fenris) the save I tried to import didn’t work, but I didn’t discover it until Alistair showed up and I knew that language I needed to hear, and I didn’t.  Okay, not so bad.  So I reimported it, it took this time, and I romanced Sebastian second time through in the game.  Great - now I have some baseline on both of those romances.  

That said, I already knew Meghan wasn’t going to be with either of them in her story - she ends up with Nathaniel Howe who she meets when he is still a squire for his lord in the Free Marches.  In fact, they meet in Kirkwall as he is waiting on the ship that will take him back to Ferelden.

Going to put under a cut because this got long really fast! lol

(And I do not vouch for any of this as I first wrote it about six years ago, possibly longer! lol  I’ve certainly learned a LOT more about writing since then, so these will inevitably get cleaned up before I think of posting them in future)

Deep in thought, Meghan left the table and returned to the bar.  She waited to be served another and was considering looking to round up a game of Wicked Grace to entertain herself with when she was unexpectedly and quite rudely hit in the back.  The move shoved her belly first into the bar counter, and the edge caught her just beneath the ribcage.  “Ooof!” Her breath was forced out of her lungs, and for the briefest of moments, Meghan thought she saw stars ….

“Maker’s breath, are you alright?”

Blinking back pain and trying to suck in enough air to breathe let alone reply, Meghan coughed harshly and finally resorted to nodding.  Her vision wasn’t quite back to normal yet, but a strong hand at her back pounded a few times in an offer of help -- help?  How does this help?  

Almost as if he sensed her thoughts, the hand grasped firmly at her shoulder and he guided her to sit on a nearby bench.  She recognized that it was a he, despite still being doubled over from pain.  His voice had that soothing baritone feel to it, very similar to the voice her father once had.  

Once seated, he left her side, returning a half moment later.  He dropped a tankard on the table beside her with a not so gentle thud and both he and she ignored the suds and ale that sloshed over the side, dripping down to form a ring around the vessel.  “I must apologize,” he told her, dropping to a knee in front of her to bring them to eye level.  

Meghan lifted her head, still searching for enough breath with which to speak, when she met cool, steely grey-blue eyes.  Blinking, her mouth worked again, but still nothing escaped that even remotely resembled words.  At best, a rough grunt slipped past.  His eyes narrowed in concern and he moved to her left as if to pound on her back again.

Meghan reacted instantly.  Straightening, she lifted her hand, warding off his actions, and finally drew in a deep breath.  “No, thank you!” she rasped.  She pulled in another immediately following, and then another.  Absently, she rubbed at her ribs where they’d hit the counter. “I’m … good.”

“Are you certain?” he asked.  The look of concern on his face didn’t fade.  If anything, Meghan noticed, his brow seemed to furrow more deeply.  “I would hate to think that I --”

She managed a lopsided smile, waving her hand back and forth between them.  “I’ll be fine,” she promised, this time with better vocal projection even if it was still rough around the edges.  “What -- what happened?”

He grimaced. Glancing around, he pointed towards a mild brawl taking place that was now moved onto the far side of the tavern. “I guess I walked into the middle of something.”

Meghan’s eyes followed his direction and she spotted a pair of vaguely familiar faces in the center of the tussle.  Sighing, she shook her head.  “Willis and Farlan are always in the middle of some ruckus,” she assured him.  Her voice was stronger now and she straightened further.  Reaching for the tankard, she took a careful drink.  Tilting her head slightly to the side, she observed, “You aren’t from these parts, are you?”

The concern finally eased from his face, but Meghan wouldn’t say it softened his features at all. Dark hair, light eyes, and eagle like features even down to his unfortunately large ‘beak’.  Still, he wasn’t entirely unattractive, and Meghan had to admit the caramel smoothness of his voice more than made up for any perceived deficiencies so far.  

“I’m not, no,” he agreed.  Rising, he took a seat on the bench next to her, his eyes drifting to follow the activities across the room.  “My name is Nathaniel Howe.  I’m a squire for Ser Rodolphe Varley.”

Meghan frowned, searching her memory for any information on that name.  She’d heard it a time or two, but had no first hand knowledge. At the same time, something about Nathaniel dropped into place for her.  “You aren’t from the Free Marches, are you?”  When he looked startled, she smiled.  “Your accent -- Ferelden?”

Slowly, he nodded. “I’ve worked hard to disguise it,” he admitted, “and thought I’d made progress.  Obviously, I was mistaken.”

Dropping into the Fereldan tongue, Meghan gave him a sassy grin and extended her hand. “Meghan Hawke, lately of Lothering. My family and I fled to Kirkwall when the Blight started.”

“Lothering?” His look of astonishment faded into a half smile of amusement.  “Your accent, on the other hand, is quite good.”

“My parents were originally from Kirkwall,” she explained.  “They moved to Lothering before I was born.”  She took a healthier swallow of her ale.  “Can I buy you a drink?” she asked after a moment.  

Nathaniel chuckled softly and shook his head.  “It is I who should be buying you one, I think,” he told her.  

Meghan jumped to her feet, only the slightest of tightening at the corner of her eyes indicating any residual pain left from her injuries.  “Nope.  This round is on me.”  She left him before he could protest, returning a couple of minutes later.  Handing him the tankard while regaining her seat, she reached for her own and lifted it to clink against his.  “We Fereldens have to stick together.”

Now, let me tell you a bit about Sebastian in this world.  I adore Sebastian, good parts, bad parts and all the in between.  I’ve always thought he got the short end of the stick on some things too, and I wanted to include him more predominantly in this series of fics, so I’ve sort of broadened his horizons, so to speak.  

Now the clip i’m going to share technically is a part of Serafina and Alistair after the Blight, but it happens in Kirkwall (long story there, too), so I sort of wedged it in on this side of things to make it easier to find in my notes.  You see, he and Serafina met years ago when she is visiting Orlais.  Neither has seen each other since then - about five years previous to this moment.  This is how they bump into one another after all that time...

Their path took them into an open courtyard and for a moment, Serafina’s steps slowed.  

“Did we take a wrong turn?” Alistair asked, his eyes searching the area.  

“I think we must have,” she replied.  “Oh, wait. There’s the Chantry.”  She pointed across the way.  “I think we need to head that way.”  Her hand drifted to a stairwell to the right of the building.  

Alistair’s eyes lifted to view the large building looming over the city.  “You know,” he mused in a tone only she could hear, “I’ve always heard how the people of Hightown think themselves above those in Lowtown, but I didn’t think it was so literal.”

“Hmm?”  Serafina glanced around.  Smiling gently, she nudged him in the arm.  “There is a lot of history here,” she agreed, “but most people tend to forget the simple yet more important aspects of it.”

“Oh?  What do you mean?”  He stopped walking, pulling her over to the center of the courtyard near the Chantry Board.  

Casually, she pointed to the exits to the immediate area.  “What do you see?” she challenged.

Alistair blinked. “Stairs?”

Serafina nodded. “Where do they lead?”

He frowned. “Down?”  

She nodded again and waited, her eyes meeting his.

“To … Lowtown … Oh!” Blinking, Alistair tilted his head to his right.  “Stairs lead up and down.”

“Exactly.  They might find themselves above those whom they think they are better, and their history certainly provides enough reminders that even the bloodiest of battles have not reached these heights,” she pointed out, “but the fact remains that when that happens, they are still stuck. Those stairs are their only way out. If a siege can be held long enough, they have no means of escape.”

“Thankfully,” he muttered for her ears only, “Denerim isn’t set up the same way.”

“There is that,” she agreed.  Then, walking out into the middle of the square, she turned in a slow circle, eyes lifted and surveying the architecture and situation of the buildings surrounding them, “On the other hand, it’s difficult to argue that it isn’t a pretty view.”

“And clean,” Alistair interjected as his eyes followed her.  Granted, certain parts of Ferelden’s capital city were better tended than others.  He wondered how much that had to do with the Blight and civil war or simply because Cailan had been king.  His eyes fell back to her after a moment and he stiffened when he realized …  “Watch out, behind you!”

Serafina, eyes still on the buildings around them, stumbled as she stepped backwards into someone. She caught herself awkwardly, but didn’t quite lose her balance.  “I’m so sorry!”  A strong hand at her arm helped her maintain balance, and she dropped her eyes … to an unexpectedly handsome and familiar, if somewhat older, face from her past. Gasping, her own eyes widened.  “No!  It … it can’t be!” she breathed.  “Sebastian?”

Startled, the man released his hold on her and took a step backwards.  “I’m sorry.  Have we met?” he asked.

It was all Serafina could do to break her gaze from his.  When she did, her eyes trailed over the rest of him.  He stood before her, just as vibrantly muscular and male as she remembered, now dressed in armor that clearly had Chantry’s influence in the design.  That, perhaps, answered a question.  However, some things remained the same.  The blue of his eyes.  The velvety roll of his voice and the soft burr as he spoke ….  

It stung a little that he didn’t recall without some prompting, but considering the circumstances that led to that night, it wasn’t much of a surprise.  “Five years ago in Val Royeaux,” she murmured quietly.  “There was a masquerade and …”

Recognition hit him instantly and he took another quick step backwards from her.  “You!” he gasped, face paling with shock.  

She nodded slowly but remained where she was.  She didn’t realize Alistair had joined her until his voice, quiet but urgent in his concern for her, penetrated through the fog of surprise.  “Are you alright?”

#WIP Folder meme #ladya writes #Dragon Age II #Meghan Hawke #Nathaniel Howe #Sebastian Vael #Serafina MacKinnon #Alistair Theirin #my writings #thank you so much for asking about them!!! #shadoedseptmbr

[yulmoldauer]

its better not to say such things out loud (Tyson Jost/OC): Chapter One

part 2

Story summary: Mason Wright was recently traded and because an Av. Sometimes a fresh start with a new team across the country is what a guy needs, right? It seems to work out, going to a place where no one truly knows you. That is, until someone finds out what you’re desperately trying to hide.

Chapter 1

Summary: Mason’s had a rough game, to put it simply. It was never the best idea to get into a fight with someone bigger than you. They won even with him taking a five-minute major for fighting halfway through the third period. The team goes out to celebrate his 23rd birthday post-win and Tyson takes care of getting him home and to sleep safely.

Warnings: None, I believe! Just some drinking mentioned and there’s a drunk character if that makes you uncomfortable. There’s also a slur against lgbt people used.

Words: 1,968

Notes: The title is from The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry) by As It Is. This is the thing with the LGBT main character that I’ve had a few different people tell me they’d be interested in :) I’m having a lot of fun writing and plotting this so far, so let me know if you enjoy!

There were perks to being smaller than most other people in the league. Being an extremely fast and skilled defenseman was one of them.

Being outmatched in every possible articulation, being compared to a chihuahua yapping at a pitbull, everything like that. Which is how he ended up in the penalty box for five fucking minutes, the asshole in the box next to him chirping him the entire time, it seemed like.

“What are you, a fag?”

That was what Mason heard fly by him, aimed at Jost who wouldn’t get into a fight to draw a penalty. Mason knew for a fact that’s what the guy was trying to do. He still took the bait when Tyson didn’t.

Mason was smaller than nearly every player he knew. Watching him get into a fight was exciting yet painful at the same time for anyone with a brain. The other guy was at least six-foot compared to the five-foot-eight Mason. To say it was outmatched…

Mason was going to be lucky if he didn’t come out of this with some scrapes and bruises. A broken nose was pretty likely as well, once he thought about it.

But hearing that word ignited something in him that overtook the reasoning section of his brain and both of them were dropping gloves. Sure, he’d definitely have a black eye tomorrow, but he’d gotten a few good licks in as well.

They still won the game, which was nice.

“Dude, you gotta at least get into it with guys in your weight class.”

“You’re funny, Landeskog. Whole fucking league is out of my weight class,” Mason huffed as he stripped his padding off of his lean torso.

“Yeah, kinda the point,” Zadorov shrugged. “Not your fault you’re smaller, just the way it is.”

“I get it, I’m short,” he ran a hand through his wavy helmet hair and reached down to unlace his skates. “Z, you can fight for me, then. I’ll run my mouth and you can do all the hitting.”

“With you? Don’t take it, man, Wright can go on and on for hours,” Tyson chirped from across the room. That earned him a glove chucked at his face.

“Fuck y’all. I don’t even have a good comeback.”

“Because it’s true!”

Okay, maybe it was true. Mason was just a talker, it’s how it was.

Tyson gave him endless shit about it, but really he didn’t mind. He actually enjoyed just being able to turn his brain off and absorb whatever stuck from what Mason was going on about. Usually it didn’t even matter--ranting about how a show got robbed of some award that doesn’t even matter, spewing information about whatever book he was reading, going off about whatever asshole did something stupid during his day-- Tyson would just let him go until he ran out of steam. Conversations were nice, too, when he was in just a talkative mood as well.

Mason did know how to shut up, though. Sometimes. (Hint: that’s what made him the favorite out of the Wright/Zadorov best friend duo. He could be quieter than Z. They’ve threatened to separate the two on multiple occasions, though.)

“What’d that guy even do to rile you up? You looked pissed,” Nate broke Mason out of his train of thought.

“Just called someone something stupid. I’m not gonna repeat it.”

“He called me a fag because I wouldn’t take the bait for the penalty,” Tyson said soon after. “He’s just a fucking moron because he got a longer penalty than any of us.”

There was an uncomfortable moment as that sunk in, then a few “what the fuck” or “that’s gross” phrases before people moved on to heading to the showers.

Mason was about to sneak away when Tyson called out his name.

“Hey, I wanted to catch you before you hit the shower. You got a second?”

“Yeah, sure. I just have to do some pt kind of stuff before I shower. What’s up?” he offered with a friendly smile.

“I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me. You definitely didn’t have to, but calling him on it drew a ton of attention to it. I think it’s really important to start weeding that shit out of the sport, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Mason smiled. “I--thanks, man. That means a lot to me.”

“‘Course,” Tyson gave a nod. “And you know if you were, like… y’know, gay or… anything, really, I wouldn’t care. And neither would anyone else on the team. It’d totally be okay.”

Mason wanted to give him a reassuring “I know” but couldn’t. Hockey was definitely not the environment known for welcoming lgbt kids and turning them into well-adjusted, accepted adults.

“Thanks,” Mason murmured. “Really, that means a lot.”

“Of course,” Tyson breathed, like he was getting a huge weight off his chest. “Um, yeah. I’ll let you go do your physical therapy stuff now. I’ll see you at the bar after everything’s done here?”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna ditch you for my birthday, idiot.”

With an excited smile, Tyson turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Once he reached an area to chill out while waiting for the showers to clear out, Mason sighed, plopping into a chair and resting his head in his hands.

Obviously he knew why Tyson brought up starting to call out homophobia and other bigoted shit they were all used to just overlooking. But why did he bring up the whole ‘we’d accept you no matter what’ thing?

The thought of ‘he was very sensitive to a slur so maybe he’s gay’ never crossed Mason’s mind. That would simply be too easy and rational.

Did Tyson know he was different? What exactly did Tyson know? There was no way Tyson would out him, but still. Trusting people to keep a secret was hard. It was just easier to bottle everything up.

God, he needed to figure this out.

Maybe he’d get drunk enough tonight to just forget for a little while. He didn’t get drunk or even drink all that often, he could let go every now and then.

At the beginning of the night, Gabe took his keys, promising that he’d give them to whoever would be driving Mason home. They all knew for a fact Mason wouldn’t drive drunk, it wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Honestly, they were more worried about the newly twenty-three-year-old losing them or putting them somewhere so he’d ‘remember where they are later’, which was proven ineffective at the last gathering Gabe threw.

“If you can’t figure out where the stupid keys are, he can come get them in the morning or I can drop them off to him or something,” Gabe rolled his eyes.

“You’re sure you don’t remember where you put them?” JT triple-checked. He’d been the designated driver for a few of them, including Mason, Tyson, and a couple others who had already gotten out to the car.

Mason shook his head. “I’m not even that drunk,” he insisted.

“Uh-huh. Gabe, just let me know if you find ‘em and we can work something out for him in the morning.”

Twenty minutes later, Gabe sent a picture and “anyone know who these belong to?” in the group chat. It was, without a doubt, Mason’s keys, adorned with a keychain reading “DETROIT” in graffiti lettering. He was from Detroit, and everyone knew that he refused to take that keychain off until it literally fell off for some sentimental reason, most likely.

‘Lol where’d you find it?’ someone texted back.

‘My dishwasher. His wallet was there too’

Mason has still never heard the end of that. No matter how hard he tried to explain that when he put them somewhere, it meant that he wouldn’t lose them or buy something stupid online (last time that happened, he bought a thing to hang on a window so your cat could sit on it and sunbathe. Mason has not owned a cat at any point in his life.) and he’d remember where it was once he sobered up.

Of course he still gets relentless shit for it. He wouldn’t expect any different.

Currently, Mason and Z were arm wrestling over a table in the back of the bar, people beginning to call it quits and going home. And with his pride hurt that he could not beat Z in an arm wrestling match, Tyson stole the other’s keys and wallet from Gabe, saying goodbyes and forcing Mason to as well.

“You are blasted, man.”

“Mmph,” he shrugged and laid his head against the passenger window. “I wanna lay down and sleep.”

“You can when I get you home. Gimmie your seatbelt so I can buckle you in.”

Mason followed the order with a small pout, not drunk enough to the point of incoherence but… definitely a little fucked up. Tyson had done this before: dealing with the mopey friend at the end of the night. Mason was definitely one to get mopey or clingy once they left the main event.

“My face hurts.”

“That checks out, buddy. I’ll get you some ice for it back at your place. What?” Tyson continued to ask when Mason stared out the windshield all angsty.

“Still can’t believe I couldn’t beat Z.”

“That guy could slam most of us through a table, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Can’t. Someone already did.”

“You’re full of jokes, huh?”

Mason just grinned sleepily as they pulled into the apartment complex and Tyson had an arm wrapped around his friend to keep him steady. Getting a drunk person to go to bed was usually one of the hardest parts of the night.

“Would you just--”

“I got it,” Mason huffed, fumbling with his keys near the lock of the door.

“Dude.”

“Shut up, you’re gonna wake up my neighbors,” he grumbled, finally getting the door open with a triumphant “see? I’m an adult.”

“I see. Go be an adult and get ready to go to bed,” Tyson rolled his eyes, taking the keys out of the door and locking it behind them.

“I don’t wanna sleep,” he replied quickly.

“You’re drunk, what do you mean you don’t want to sleep?”

“Not tired,” he flopped down on the couch.

“At least get out of your clothes. That way if you fall asleep it’s in pajamas.”

Mason was sprawled out, already clicking through Netflix.

“Fine, I will go get you pajamas. Here,” Tyson pressed a cold compress to a bruise on his face and headed to the bedroom.

“Thanks for driving me,” he heard from the other room.

“‘Course,” Tyson called back. “Here, put these on,” he tossed the clothes at Mason.

“Are you staying here? You can take the guest room, if you want.”

“Sure. Probably easier than trying to get home this late,” Tyson shrugged and headed for the kitchen. As he heard the rustling around of what he assumed was his friend changing, Tyson got a glass of water and painkillers for when Mason woke up.

“I can drive you home tomorrow,” Mason slurred even more heavily as he began getting more tired. He’d managed to get his jeans off and a pair of shorts on before moving onto the shirt. He’d just pulled his shirt off when Tyson walked back in the room with the water.

“Woah,” he said quietly, stopping quickly.

For whatever reason, he’d never realized that he had never seen his teammate and friend shirtless. That was weird, especially when you played sports together for a living. He assumed it was due to the faded scars along his chest, almost in a u-shape under each pec.

He didn’t even know what kind of injury would cause that kind of surgery.

“When did you get surgery?”

Fuck was all that ran through Mason’s head.

#nhl #hockey #mens hockey #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #fanfiction #m/m ship #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #hockey fandom #nhl fandom #tyson jost #avalanche #colorado avalanche #Colorado Avalanche fanfic #my stuff

[oscararcane]

The detective’s got a band (part 1)

Oh man. So I wanted to write a small thing about another one of my detectives but it turned into over 5000 words of Adam being angsty, I guess. I’ll post it in 2 parts plus a bonus scene, since it’s so long. Hope you’ll enjoy it! It takes place during book 2, but there’s next to no mention of it.

“I have to get out of town tomorrow night.” Leslie’s soft voice suddenly breaks the comfortable silence that had fallen over Adam, Nate and him in the library, the trio deeply focused on their research. Adam stiffens in his chair and his gaze snaps up from his book to land sharply on the detective. “You have to what?” Disapproval makes his words harsh. Leslie glances at him sheepishly. “I have a concert, he says like it explains everything.” “A concert?” The word draws Nate’s attention who looks at him with curiosity. Leslie rubs the back of his neck, looking a little embarassed. “Ah, that’s right, I never told you. I’m in a band.” Adam stares at him. “You? In a band?” He has a hard time not letting disbelief seep into his words. It does not seem to bother Leslie however who just nods. “A jazz band.”

Well that made a whole lot more sense. Nate leans forwards, sitting on the edge of his chair. He closes his book, his focus now entirely on Leslie. A delighted smile stretches the lips of Adam’s friend. “So you do play the bass.” Adam remembers Nate pointing out to him the massive instrument sitting in Leslie’s apartment, wondering if it was decorative, a heirloom or if Leslie actually played it. Adam guesses Nate never got around to ask him. Leslie shrugs but smiles back. “Yeah. I sing a bit too.” “It must be hard to balance it out with your work, Nate points out.” “It is, but it’s fine, everyone in the group has a day job. We do it for fun really.” “Then it won’t be too hard to cancel.” Adam should have interrupted them earlier, but curiosity made him hold his tongue, even if he would never admit it. Leslie gapes at him. A frown slowly wrinkles his usually smooth forehead. “I can’t do that.” “He can’t do that, Nate confirms, also frowning at Adam.” The team leader crosses his arms on his chest defensively. “It’s not safe, we can’t have him run off on a road trip in the middle of a crisis.” He looks at Nate, avoiding Leslie’s stare as long as possible. “Please, Adam, I can’t do that to the band. The-the tickets are sold. It’s been a long time in the making and we don’t get to perform live often…” Hearing Leslie’s pleading voice, Adam is forced to look at him in the light brown of his eyes. Guilt twists his gut and he has to bite the inside of his lip to prevent his face to betray the emotion. “Alright, he snaps, interrupting him. But we’ll drive you there and you’re not getting out of our sight.” Leslie’s eyebrows shoot up. Once the shock wears off, he smiles soflty. “Thank you, Adam.” “It’s an excellent idea, Nate says standing up, obviously excited. We should take Felix with...” “Felix doesn’t need to know, Adam interrupts.” A flash of movement attracts all their attention to the door where Felix appears, leaning on the frame. “What do I not need to know?” He asks with a bright grin. Adam groans, bringing his hand to his forehead.

“Nervous, Leslie?” The quiet did not last long, to nobody’s surprise since Felix is sharing the backseat of the Agency SUV with Leslie. The detective had made a feeble attempt at suggesting his car instead, not wanting to attract too much attention, but Adam’s concern for Nate’s comfort was enough to cut it short. Leslie gulps. “Yeah.” A slow grin stretches Felix’s lips. “More than usual?” “Yes, Leslie freely admits. Knowing the three of you will be listening is a little nerve-wracking.” His chuckle sounds a little strangled. “And why is that? Felix insists.” “I’m not used to have people I know in the audience.” Leslie shrugs, the movement is stiff. Felix blinks at him, his grin disappearing. “Really? No friends, no family?” “It’s not really Tina’s scene. Verda came with his husband a couple of times, when they could find someone to look after the girls. And Mum… You know how busy she is.” A heavy silence falls inside the car. Felix does not let it linger, of course. “Well, you’ll get used to it then, I wanna go to all your concerts!” Leslie stiffles a laugh. “You do realize it involves a lot of sitting down, right?” Felix folds his leg, hugging it close to his chest. “I don’t know, I’ve never been to a concert. But I can sit down.” “For several hours?” Felix narrows his eyes at Leslie, pondering if maybe he is bluffing. But his expression is as open and as honest as ever. “Absolutely.” “Alright.” Leslie chuckles. Nate and Adam exchange a skeptical look. There is a short pause and Felix starts talking. Again. “Too bad Mason didn’t want to go.” He pushes out a disappointed sigh. Of course Leslie asked him. Everyone knew Mason would not want to come, but the detective did not want him to feel excluded. Always a thoughtful man, even if Mason could not care less. He did give Leslie an appraising look when he learned he was in a band though, seeing him in a different light. “We’re here, Adam announces while parking the SUV.” Leslie lets out a shuddering breath. The concert hall is a small unassuming building in a rather quiet neighborhood at the edge of the big city. It had not been too hard to convince the team leader to park at the back of the venue, although his reasons for accepting are quite different from the ones that pushed Leslie to ask. Adam is more concerned with safety matters than the detective’s modesty. Glancing towards the rearview mirror, Adam sees Leslie looking nervously around through the SUV’s windows, making sure no one is around before opening the car’s passenger door. The shadow of an amused smile plays at the corners of the team leader’s lips. He joins the detective at the back of the vehicle, opening the trunk and grabbing the bass’ case before Leslie has the chance to make a move towards it. “I can carry it, he protests.” Adam throws a narrowed gaze at his thin frame. “But I don’t mind you doing it, Leslie backpedals quickly.” Instead he grabs his pressed suit with a sigh. He walks with long strides to catch up with Adam who is already heading towards the back entrance. “You do realize I’ve managed most of my life without vampiric super-strength, right?” Adam glances at him. “A fact I still can’t wrap my head around.” Leslie blinks up at him. But when he sees the team leader’s faint lopsided smile, he chuckles and answers with a warm smile of his own.

“These are you friends?” Poppy stares at Adam, Nate and Felix with eyes wide open. Leslie always forgets how abnormally attractive Unit Bravo is. He sometimes wonders if it is a vampire thing. “Yes! Felix, Nate, Adam, meet Poppy, saxophone…” He points at the woman with the platinum pony tail. “... Damon, drums…” The ebony-skinned man with short coiled hair nods politely. “... Valery, piano and vocals…” The woman with her brown hair neatly tucked in a french twist offers them a friendly smile. “... And Cory, guitar.” They rub a hand over their short brown hair as Leslie points to the last member of the band. The three vampires’ eyes snap suddenly toward them, which makes Leslie frown a little. But the strange tension dissipate too fast for anyone else to notice. “It’s nice to meet all of you, Nate says with his most charming smile.” “Likewise, Poppy answers, drawing out the word in an attempt to sound suave.” “You should get ready, Adam says abruptly, shoving the bass’ case towards Leslie.” Nate and Felix take it as a signal for them to leave. “We’ll keep your seat, Nate tells Adam as he turns away.” “See you later! Felix shouts at Leslie, sauntering in the corridor and waving excitedly.” Damon, Valery and Cory are making their way towards the dressing rooms, but Poppy keeps staring at Adam who leans his back against the wall, folding his arms against his chest. “You gonna stay here, she blurts out. Next to Leslie’s door. While he changes.” Adam bristles. “Yes.” The saxophonist lifts a suggestive eyebrow at Leslie whose ears start to burn. “Alright, then.” “Detective Langford and us are currently working on a dangerous case, Adam is quick to clarify. It’s for safety.” Poppy grins, looking between Adam and Leslie. “Nice.” Unit Bravo’s leader’s whole body becomes stiff and Leslie tenses in reaction. Adam pushes himself from the wall, unfolding his arms, fists tigthly closed at his sides. “Leslie being in potential danger is not something I’d call ‘nice’.” Poppy weathers the icy green glare with impressive composure. “Very nice.” Adam takes a step forward. Leslie immediatly intervenes and grabs Poppy’s shoulders to direct her towards her dressing room. “You should go get ready Poppy, we’ll be late.” The young woman let him push her all the way to her door, giggling to herself. She stops before entering the room however, turning to face Leslie. “Your boyfriend looks a bit on edge. You should give him a massage.” “He’s not my…” “Later, Leslie!” Poppy enters the dressing room, not letting him finish. Leslie can feel his whole face turning beet red, painfully aware Adam probably heard the whole thing. Those damned hypersenses. He takes a steadying breath before turning around to join his own dressing room, avoiding Adam’s gaze as he passes him by.

Leslie has to start over his bow tie a third time before Damon finally takes pity on him and helps him out. “You’re awfully nervous tonight.” Leslie lets out a strained laugh. “So I keep hearing.” “You gotta impress those very handsome friends of yours, huh?” Leslie cringes. “I’ll be content not embarassing myself in front of them.” Damon gives a low chuckle and gently taps Leslie’s cheek. “Don’t worry, you gonna rock their ass off their seat.” “Damon…” The reproach is lightened by Leslie’s own chuckle. Damon works on his bow tie in silence for a moment. “It’s muscle guy, huh?” “Shhhh! He can hear us.” Leslie brings a finger to his mouth, glancing nervously towards the door. Damon raises an eyebrow. “I doubt that.” “You’d be surprised, Leslie mutters.” The drummer lowers his voice despite his reservations. “You’re crushing hard on muscle guy, aren’t you?” “Adam, Leslie corrects him in a whisper, his cheeks warming.” “Adam.” Damon nods after finishing up Leslie’s bow tie. He adjusts it a bit. “I’m sure he’s nice… He is, right?” Leslie gives him a lopsided smile. ”It is known to happen.” Damon gives him a long look. Leslie sighs. “Don’t worry, he’s not… he’s not Bobby.” It makes his friend snorts. “He sure isn’t.” There is another pause. “Wanna throw a… huh… impromptu love song in there? Serenade him a little.” Damon winks. Leslie’s face is now burning up. “What? No! That’s just… No!”

#the wayhaven chronicles #adam du mortain #twc detective #writing #IF MC

[thecursedhellblazer]

(( I had told myself not to write anything about this, but I kinda have a lot of feelings on the matter and I’ve seen several posts around, so I thought I could share my opinion too. This are just some random thoughts, so forgive me if they are all a bit all over the place. ))

(( Under the cut because the post got a bit long. ))

(( I’ve recently caught up with Legends, after having missed the two latest episodes, and I’m absolutely torn over the kind of twist some of the sub plots are taking. Behrad’s death was kinda expected, but I was still hoping that they would have kept him around for a bit longer. Of course, there is still the chance that he gets back, considering that we don’t really know how the whole Loom of Fate ordeal will end, but tbh I wished we had had more bonding between him and Zari before he was taken out of the picture. I understand that his death, together with meeting her older self, is important to Zari’s character development, but I still feel like it was a bit rushed. ))

(( One thing I really liked, even if maybe is a cliched, was Charlie choosing the Legends as her family and breaking away from the conditioning that her sisters have tried to force on her, even after all that time. And the fact that it was during the episode with the Spn setting...The whole “family doesn’t end with blood” trope was quite fitting. I love that she has found her place with them, after millennia spent on the run from a her “biological” family, which was obviously abusive. ))

(( Another nice surprise was Astra choosing to team up with Ava & Co, choosing to trust John, other than giving into Lachesis’s siren call. I’m really excited to see how they will deal with her character. In the comics, John eventually manages to free her from Hell, but we aren’t given much closure, especially not after how deeply John’s whole storyline is affected by the Newcastle clusterfuck. It seems that the show is trying to take another route to deal with it and I’m really curious and hopeful for what concerns it. Also, I do like the idea of her having a more active role in changing her destine. Quite literally. And Ava sharing her backstory with her, trying to convince her to be her own person? That was really good. Also because it shows the growth of Ava’s character too. ))

(( Now, the thing that has been bothering me the most. The turn in Constantine and Zari 2.0′s relationship. Personally, I don’t like it. I wasn’t a fan of Nate & Zari either, but pushing her towards just makes me straight out uncomfortable. I found myself looking away in the scenes where they were getting romantically physical and I’m not sure what I’m going to do if they will make them an official couple. I really don’t see the chemistry between them. Don’t get me wrong, they are funny, they have a good dynamic, the way their characters clashes because of the differences is interesting. They do have chemistry but as friends. I don’t really see how a romance could work out, and let’s not forget the whole Nate factor. I’m going a bit more in depth with this, even if no one really cares about my meta xD But since I’m at it, I don’t see why not. ))

(( Zari 1.0 and John had some very nice moments. Their relationship was different, also because they had more common ground. They had both known tragedy, they had both made bad choices and paid for them. Zari 1.0 could relate better to John, because, while she was a good person too, she knew what it meant having to do the wrong thing for the right reasons, and that something that John does a lot. I didn’t ship them, but I really loved their dynamics and I will always treasure that scene when she gives him the picture of his mother she had taken. There was a connection there and it was a really good friendship, not so different from the one John has with Charlie. ))

(( Now, Zari 2.0 is a completely different person. She has a completely different backstory and, as such, a different personality. I didn’t like her at first, but she has grown a lot recently and matured too during her time with the Legends and she has got back being a great character, relatable too. However, she still lacks all the common ground that Zari 1.0 had with John. This isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. The fact that they come from completely different worlds is one of the elements that makes their dynamic interesting, but it also underlines the fact that Zari has no idea of who John is and of how his world truly works and she probably will never understand it. She kinda reminds me of Kit (one of John’s lovers in the comics, perhaps his most important relationship together with Zatanna) under some point of view, even if the two characters have some very profound differences. Kit and John were very close, he was head over heels for her, but it didn’t work out because, while she knew him, she couldn’t grasp or accept his world. The magic, the darkness, the bad things he does because it’s what he is. And so it ended very, very badly between them. Honestly? That’s the only kind of dynamic I can picture in a romance between John and Zari. And it’s already a stretch, because Kit’s character had some traits that made her compatible with John, traits that Zari doesn’t have. Not to mention that Kit had a lot of history with John before they got together romantically, and that was what made them work, for a while. Zari doesn’t. So, it might be a way to make it sort of work (still forced for how I see it), unless they break his character...and I would HATE that. He is my favourite from LoT and I’ve waited a long time to see him brought back after his show was cancelled, so...please, don’t ruin it for me. ))

(( Also, their “romantic” connection really felt shoved in out of the blue. They have never really interacted much before and sure, being forced to team up can bring two people close, the timing is awful. Let’s not forget that Zari had just decided to blame John for Behrad’s death. She was supposed to have a grudge against him. Moreover, she is grieving the brother she was finally starting to properly connect with and she is struggling with a quest to rebuild her identity after she has found out about her other self. She is looking for her place in the world and a person who is dealing with that realistically doesn’t go and fall for someone just because they have shared an adventure. It feels forced and rushed. Maybe in another context I could have tolerated it or given it the benefit of the doubt, but not in this moment of the storyline. It’s out of plance to say the least. I had expected them to work out their differences in that episode, but instead all they do is bickering (which is fun) and then they fight together (which was great, tbh, because it shows them both that they can be a good team). However, there’s not a real moment when they properly talk about what has happened, about their conflict . We just see them being shoved together and forced to touch and then there’s that almost kiss moment and it’s just...bad timing. It feels awkward and yeah, forced too. ))

(( Also, let’s not forget that in the previous episode, Zari sleep-walked in Nate’s bedroom and half of the crew, including John, found them in the middle of a somewhat compromising position in the middle of the corridor. John joked and teased them as everyone else and wasn’t upset in the least. On the contrary, he was basically rooting for them. And this was perhaps the day, or a few days at most, before the whole romantic innuendos got thrown in the mix. Yet another reason why I feel this was forced and rushed and brought up out of nowhere. ))

(( As for John, his current focus is on getting the Loom back together and keeping his promise to Astra. We have seen him being reckless and single-minded about it, to the point that he almost got himself, Charlie and Sara killed. And did get Behrad killed, because he didn’t think his shit through. It doesn’t make sense to me that he suddenly finds the time to notice that he might or might not have feelings for Zari. It’s almost out of character. And it clashes with how he has been behaving so far. You don’t stop obsessing about the one thing that would allow you to FINALLY make amends for the greatest regret of your entire life just because you realise that one of your teammates is actually a nice company, all considered. Plus, he too has already too much on his plate in general to have the space for a romance. And, personal preference, John is good on his own. He needs friends that can help him picking up the pieces, not a relationship that will eventually just bring him more harm and complications. God, I miss Chas. ))

(( Someone could argue that they shared a moment during the Romeo vs Juliette episode, but I disagree with that too. That episode was all about Nate and Ray. The dialogue between Romeo and Juliette was not about John and Zari, it was all about Nate and Ray. They are the star-crossed couple of friends (lovers in the play), not John and Zari. That kiss was a symbol of Ray and Nate reconnecting with each other before taking different paths and it had nothing to do with John and Zari. At least, that’s the feeling I had from how the whole episode was built and I think that I’m not completely misled in that regard. ))

(( Last thing, I don’t want the whole thing between Zari and John to be a source of drama. Because that’s what we’ll get, because Nate is still very much in love with Zari, both Zaris. He has started to chase after Zari 2.0 thinking that she was his Zari, but he came to like her for what she is too. And maybe, yes, perhaps he needs to move on from her as some people have pointed out. It could be one way to go around it, but that wouldn’t spare us the classic love triangle crap we get at some point in every damn show and I’m starting to be a bit bored with it. And it wouldn’t really change my view on John and Zari’s relationship. ))

#lot spoilers #legends of tomorrow #lot 5x10 #lot 5x09 #john constantine #nate heywood #ray palmer #ava sharpe #zari tarazi #zari tomaz

[aeon-wolf]

Legends 4x12

Ya’ll we got so fucking fed tonight. 

Okay so since this post is basically going to be fangirling over Avalance for 70% of it, I’ll get all of the boring stuff out of the way first. If you just want Avalance stuff, jump down to the line break. 

- I am living for Nora’s arc this season. As I’ve said many a time, she is probably my favorite “villain” character that has been on Legends so I’m glad they’re giving her the redemption arc. And it’s been written beautifully. The fact she is trying to change for herself; not for Ray, not for anyone else. But because she knows she’s capable of being a better person and wants to be that person. And then her working with Constantine to trick Neron. I admit I was a bit worried initially they were going to play the betrayal card with her, but I was glad to be proven wrong. And I will never doubt my precious child ever again. 

- We got somewhat introduced to what seems to be Neron’s endgame. Bringing Tabitha into the world and then using magical creatures to scare humans into giving their souls to him. I’m not sure how that second part works exactly, but I’m sure it’ll be explained at some point. Probably in the last five minutes of the season finale knowing Legends. It’s probably a safe bet that Tabitha is a fellow demon if he needed Ava’s body as a vessel for her. 

- I admit Ray and Nate are my least favorite Legends. That isn’t to say I hate them or anything. Just if I had to put all the Legends on the numbered list, they would be at the bottom. So the whole Nate/Ray scenes were really a miss for what I’m interested in Legends for. And with them butting up against Nora/Constantine/Neron scenes and Avalance scenes, they just felt like a drag to watch. That said, I do really feel for Nate. He’s in a difficult position, discovering things about his father and then having to face the demon who killed him. And he’s had some fun to watch growth over the season. 

- I’m really still not here about SteelHacker (or Natari, according to Mona), but I also wish they’d stop playing this “will they, won’t they” with them. Either get them together or don’t. I really am getting kind of annoyed on some level with Zari being like “I like him, but wait no I can’t do that.” I love Zari getting growth, and while I’d infinitely rather see her be single, on some level I can understand her position. Love has always been a liability for her. ARGUS killed her family (if I’m remembering right, I don’t have a great memory), and from what we know about her past, her family were the only people she’s really ever loved deeply. So to protect herself in her dystopian future, she had to cut herself from getting too attached. Thus when she’s running into real budding romantic feelings, it’s hard for her. She’s unsure of herself. And from that standpoint, I don’t mind SteelHacker. Also, I would really like to believe the writers would have liked to put Charlie and Zari together (the eye sex and “You’re straight?” line in this episode), but CW executives (remember the network this show is on everyone) said they met their limit for lgbt+ relationships with Avalance and John/Desmond. Obviously, we can’t know that, but I’ll choose to believe that because it makes me feel better. 

- I also really liked how they portrayed both John/Sara and John/Nora relationships this episode. When Sara insisted on going in after Ava, John seemed to be protective over her in trying to discourage her. After Caity sort of shut down any John/Sara romance stuff at Clexacon (not that there was any indication their dalliance in S3 was any more than what amounted to a drunken one night stand as well as a mistake), I feel like it’s been a bit easier to see their relationship more as almost a brother/sister kind of relationship. Perhaps most akin to twins. They support each other, are protective of one another, but they get on each other’s nerves and annoy the shit out each other, often times for fun. And John/Nora seems almost like a yin/yang relationship. They both are cut from similar cloth, as their conversation outside Neron’s holding cell in the hallway shows. They’re both scared of themselves and their own power, but where John is kind of the tortured soul about it, Nora tries to redeem herself and be better. I think both could learn a lot from the other. 

- There are other little bits and pieces I liked about the episode, but this post is already long enough without talking at all about Avalance, so if you’re curious about anything else, please send me a message. 

AVALANCE!

We, as a fandom, were so fucking fed it’s unreal. It’s such a strange feeling to me to pretty much have an entire episode basically be dedicated to our pairing getting to work out relationship issues and actually talk about the future. 

- So first off, can we talk about how Ava has a cute ass picture of her and Sara in her entryway? It’s such a small thing, but it makes the relationship feel so real. Also when Sara was knocking at Ava’s door, apologizing and facing her fears and wanting to work their relationship out, that was such a growth moment for Sara. I was so proud of how far our emotionally closed off, reformed assassin has come. 

- So basically Ava had been missing for two weeks, which probably was about when they had their fight. And Jes even said at Clexacon that there was supposed to be more to that scene where someone walked in on her having a mental breakdown. I’m thinking a possibility might have been Hank coming in, maybe Ava was late for their meeting and that’s obviously strange for Ava and he tells her to take a leave of absence to get her head on straight after she confesses about her relationship with Sara. And then Neron ambushes her in her apartment shortly after? That’s pure speculation and we’ll probably never know, but it’s fun to think about. 

- The fact that Ava’s hell was set in the Legends version of Ikea was hilarious. Along with all of the little gay shoutouts. They managed to fit in an “out of the closet” joke as well as building furniture together, which was clearly peak gay. And confirmation that Sara is the one to disregard instructions, fail and then have her significant other basically say “I told you so” when they build the thing successfully following directions. 

- I’m glad they clarified her opinions on one of the things Sara and Ava got in a fight about in the first place, how the Bureau was treating magical creatures. I’m not really sure I got the characterizations right in my assumptions, but it seemed to be a defensive fear thing, rather than any sort of malice or callousness. It obviously doesn’t make it right, but it does explain her point of view better than she did in the actual argument scene. 

- As I said, one of the most real things about the entire episode was that Ava and Sara were talking about real problems that you’d normally see a straight couple on a TV show discuss. Long term commitment (shoutout for actually showing them as older wlw which is fucking rare on TV, even if it was only for a moment), them consider what a “normal” life would be like, and address them being two powerful, independent women trying to navigate a relationship when both of them are in pretty unfamiliar territory was a long term relationship. It was about treating Avalance like a normal relationship on the screen. The fact that they are two women wasn’t ignored, but it wasn’t the central point either. It was more like two people, communicating about what they want, recognizing they’ll both have to compromise on some things and work their problems out together that just happen to be two women. It was beautiful and no one can tell me otherwise. I’m sure someone will find a bone to pick with the whole premise, there always is, but I’d just like to recognize that while it may not be perfect, it’s a hell of a lot better than the “bury your gays” tropes that we were dealing with not 3 years ago. As well as other questionable lgbt+ representation decisions on a certain network. 

- I’m kind of glad that it was Ava that wanted the “normal” life. And kind of addressed that there is more to life than her job. I feel like, at least for myself in writing fanfic, I’ve characterized her as someone who basically has no life outside work. And while that might be canonically true at the moment, getting verbal confirmation that Ava does want something more with Sara was great.

- And then again, Sara and her own insecurities over her past and not being able to be the person that Ava “needs” Which like.. fucking props for the ones who wrote the line “Neither of us needs anybody, but you are who I want.”  I feel like in a lot of TV relationships (not just wlw) that they always make characters so dependant on their significant other, *cough Supergirl* and they sacrifice character development of one or both characters in favor of building a relationship. Or propping up one character at the expense of the other. And while Avalance is obviously important, both Sara and Ava have had growth unrelated to their relationship in the last two seasons and that line is kind of just a representation of that fact. 

Anyways, I have a lot more feelings about the episode, but this post is long enough. Please send me inbox messages to fangirl with me if you want. I’m so hyped about this episode. I think moving away from a specific magical fugitive and just focusing on the Legends and the Neron plotline (plus the whole Nate thing) did the episode fluidity a lot of good and from the promo for next episode, it seems like it’ll be similar. 

#legends of tomorrow #avalance #4x12 #review #analysis #this is a really long post but I had a lot of feelings

[ofphcenixes]

( ooc note about why i am the absolute worst ! )

this is such a random note i know, and admittedly i’ve spent the entire day composing this. so if it’s a little disjointed or illogical, i want to apologise in advance ! however i have included this nice gif of luke - it doesn’t have anything to do with the post, just thought it would make it more appealing dkjfgdf. admittedly this is going to be a bit of a Long Boi™, but it is kinda.... relevant if you’ve ever tried to write/plot with me, or are wondering what’s going on with nate. behold, all your answers are below ! i’ll put a tldr at the bottom plus a nifty little vine compilation for anyone that reads this but, please don’t feel pressured to do so ! ya girl is just a Mess dkfjgd. 

the first thing i want to address is the elephant in the room; nathaniel ballantyne. i know a lot of people are curious about his fate, his place in the plot drop, why he vanished so much earlier than everyone else. is he actually guilty ? is he a martyr ? is he a red herring ? well, here’s the tea on mr nathaniel ballantyne: 

he is on indefinite hiatus. 

a lot of people probably wonder why. i will get into the specifics of the why in a little bit (when i said this was a Long Boi i was not kidding lmfao), but basically... he’s a very difficult character to write. i am not a veteran rper, and in all honesty, i can count on my hands the amount of rps i’ve been in. and there are only 5 characters i’ve ever written about and cared enough to remember. one of those is nate. for those of you that know him, he is a strange and eccentric character. entirely up his own ass at times, pretentious as hell. but he, to me, was a character i grew attached to. he was different from people i normally write, and despite how abstract he was, he was.... realistic to me. my deep rooted attachment to him is why it took me so long to see how hard it was for me to write replies with him, to understand the guilt i felt any time i plotted or wrote with him, and the fact he was so mentally taxing it would take five times as much time to write a reply for him than it would any other character. but the sad truth is, even though i only felt guilt related to him, even though i haven’t had muse for him honestly for months now, i kept him. because i love him, even if he isn’t loved by many others. and so part of the reason he is now where he is is the simple fact that i know he didn’t mesh with the group, and that’s okay ! he was a very difficult character to reply to, and now that he is gone, i feel that burden of guilt lifting already.

as for his plot related departure, the truth is i didn’t have the heart to kill him off, hence why he kinda is just out there in a weird in between space dkjfgdf. and ( as i’ll explain below ) if my life ever does even out at any point, i really want to bring him back should there be space for him. so this indefinite hiatus was made for many reasons, and it absolutely broke my heart to have to get to this point. i love nate, and i am going to miss him. and i hope that in due time, i will have the capacity to bring him back soon ! but in case i don’t, i just want everyone to know that i appreciate every second i spent writing with you all on nate, and that the time and effort people poured into him means the world to me. and i’m so, so sorry to the people who are disappointed in me for this, because i know there are probably a few. i have let so many of you down, and honestly this is a burden i am going to carry for a very long time. i am going to message people tomorrow when i am more Coherent so, i promise to do my best to atone for this kgdf.

but to segue into that a little more ( oh look, another elephant in the room ! what is this, dumbo 2: electric boogaloo ), as an admin, i know there are expectations we are supposed to meet. examples we should set. precedents we have to lay down. 

and i know i have disappointed every single one of you in this rp. 

from my slow ( to non-existent ) dash activity, for the anxiety that has left me unable to reply to dms or reply in the main group chat, to even the fear of godmodding in ask memes on a thursday. i know this seems perfectly illogical to most, and again, i completely understand the disappointment that so many of you feel towards me. and it’s that very disappointment which djkgdf ironically has made it harder for me to get on and be the admin that you all deserve. 

the real difficult thing about all of this is, i love veritas. and for those of you who were in veritas 1, would know that this is not who i usually am. this experience is not representative of the person i want to be, nor the rper that i usually present myself as. but as to avoid going into too triggering content and bothering you all with tmi details about my life problems lmfao, please rest assured that these past few months have been. absolutely brutal for me. from almost losing my opa to illness, from ongoing family issues and expectations, being kicked out of home among a list of other shit, my mental health has been as low as gfkdgdf it has ever been in my life tbh, and it’s been the hardest thing in the world to get on. all my attentions with veritas has been in the main, as the main is a very taxing job ( as you know, we are very plot centric ! ) and i would more often than not get so worn out with being an admin, my characters fell by the wayside. not to mention, as sort of dkfgjdf touched on before, i have massive anxiety when it comes to messaging people. why ? i don’t know. especially as i have wanted to plot with all of you extensively and deeply since we opened, and reading every single app made my heart beat a little faster with joy. i am so honoured to be an admin here, and each and every one of you are such an incredible writer and person that i can’t help but feel overwhelmed and guitlty about how much i have let you all down. especially for those who sent me dms that i either forgot about or never replied to because i got so anxious, i feel so guilty every day about it all and i just wish i could go back in time and change it. 

and the reality is, if i wasn’t an admin and co-creator of this group, i probably would have dropped out a long time ago, give the space to someone worthy, and i wouldn’t be filled with so much guilt. but the truth is, i am a selfish person dgdgdf. veritas has been that sort of dkfgjdf good, steady thing in my life that i looked forward to, and i couldn’t bear the thought of losing that. each and every one of you create the fabric that is this amazing atmosphere, and even though i’m less seen and heard compared to most others in this group, being part of veritas gives me a sense of belonging. and in a strange sense, a home. yes, i know i was selfish, and yes, i should have handled things much better than i did. but you all need to know from the bottom of my heart how sorry i am for everything that has transpired. ):

but i think the worst part of it all is that, my beautiful co-admin maaria, and my best friend. among letting you all down, i know i have let her down the most. and i just want to take my soapbox moment for a second here and really put light into how much maaria has done for this group. especially when my own life has been in shambles, and knowing she’s going through her own problems, she always provides for you all. she is always here, always online, always around to make you laugh or smile. she provides for all of us, and is honestly a miracle worker. i don’t think i will ever deserve her forgiveness for everything, but i hope she knows how loved she is, and i hope you all show her your sentiments too ! she is the heart of veritas, and fdjg she means the world to me, and i just really want her to know that.

but that was. a lot of emotions and obviously i haven’t talked about everything in my life ( i do not want to bore you and honestly i don’t wanna make y’all sad dkfjghdkfjgdfgdf ) none of this really means anything if things aren’t going to change. so get ready for some Bullet Point Action because here is my proposal: 

nEw SkElEtOn: although nate is on hiatus and sorta just gonna, float out there in the void of time, and even though i really want to bring him back soon i don’t know if/when i will, i have felt immense guilt for hoarding his spot in this rp for someone who could be more active. hence, a solution: a new skeleton ! as i am not comfortable with nate’s skeleton being open, we have created a new skeleton with connections to all nate’s old connections, which should hit the main very soon ! 

new discord: this is probably unnecessary but dfkgjdfg i have a lot of anxiety about discord. when i get a new message i’m always like ??? AAH A GHOST. idk why. and because of that, i skip a message once, and now there are so many unanswered messages i have a heart attack every time i open my app. so, to prevent that, i am going to make a new discord account ! ( lilacrps #i forgot the number lmao ). i will be adding everyone as Friends and if you’ve ever sent me something i never responded to, or for some odd reason you wanna talk to me, a human mess, please know now that with a fresh slate i will ensure i can reply to you. i am not gonna let my anxiety win this time. 

schedule: part of my issue is that i dfkjgdf always felt pressure to do everything all the time and then when i couldn’t, i fell under pressure. so dkfgjdf i am now having designated plotting and reply days ! so even though i hope to be far more active in both regards, i just need people to understand things won’t be instant, but i am holding myself accountable not only for myself, but for the rp - as that is what an admin should do.

this got super long and i highly doubt anyone is actually gonna read this lmao BUT. the main point is - i love every single one of you all so much, and i can’t apologise enough for how much i have let you all down. i know we all feel it, and i’m more than happy to accept my flaws and how blatant they’ve been in the past few months. so this is my pledge to every single one of you that i promise to do better (and if i don’t, you can kick me out dkjfgdf). 

TLDR: I have been a terrible admin and friend, and I’m here to say sorry. With a new discord and personal plotting schedule, things are going to change. 

If I can’t cure my depression, maybe I can cure yours.

#( ooc ; i have the power of god and anime on my side ! ) #tw: depression #tw: mental health

[janiedean]

I have to tell you something but PLEASE, please, don't be mad. I love Brienne, and I loved her with Jamie, and I'm mad and sad that they didn't get to have their happy ending...but I don't think his ending was shit. Or OOC. First at all, book!Jamie is not TV!Jamie: his relationship with Cersei is different, not as sick or manipulative. He loves his siter and is loved by her in a more "helthier" way: in the show she told Tywing the truth about them, and it's huge considering the love for power1/?

He watched her lose their 3 children, he learned about her walk of shame to get back to Tommen, he witnessed Robert’s humiliations. I think he would have stayed with Brienne if she knew his sister was safe, but he couldn’t be happy if his siter died and he did nothing to save her. He needed to be that person, otherwise all his growth would be lost, and he would have dragged Brienne in his spiral, and he didn’t want to make her miserable. To me he is still an honorable man, bc when there was a chance to do something, he did it: he killed the king to save KL, he fought the dead army, but over and over he said that the Lannister army didn’t stand a chance against the dragons or the Dathraki, he was not a fool. His speech was not about NOT CARING, it was about knowing there was nothing he could have done. He did good, he was good, and till his last moment he tried to be honorable, he tried to be the person Brienne inspired him. P.s.: Still heartbroken that he died, but I think there is some poetic justice with Cercei crashed by the symbol of the power she tried lo long to hold.

anon, I appreciate that you’re being nice and I appreciate that you’re trying to find some sense in this entire thing, but… okay, I’ll go over it and please don’t take me as *me* being mad or whatever but I don’t think a few things were clear here so I’ll try to do it now:

jc in the show is not healthier. it might be different, but it’s not and the fact that it might have been less obvious doesn’t mean that they didn’t drag that toxic mess out for four seasons when it had no reasons to exist. now: I was down with looking at it until s4 because that was book canon and I can deal with book canon. I had to look at three more fucking seasons of that toxic abusive mess happening and I don’t know if it’s obvious or not, but if I have one thing, like one in the universe that I can’t deal with, that I hate and that makes me feel sick more than anything else it’s emotional/psychological manipulation. and show!jc has that in spades and I can’t. like, as it is right now I’m pretty damn sure I’d take reading explicit thramsay fic that ends horribly with annexed detailed fanart than even rewatching five seconds of a scene where those two are in the same frame and is2g if they had kissed at the end of 8x05 I’d have thrown up. please for the love of everything if you think it’s better than book canon your prerogative, but don’t come at me informing me of that because I can’t. especially not right now;

I honestly can’t give much of a damn about the stuff c. suffered when 80% of that is her damn fault and I’m especially talking about tommen who only did that because she gave zero shits about his opinion in anything but we’re supposed to think she’s a good mother or that she cares which makes me especially sick because people have decided that for her out of nowhere when we all know how much leeway they give catelyn for that and I’m honestly done with it, and maybe it’s not inconsistent that he’d care, but it’s inconsistent how they wrote it;

because I mean if they showed some half-regret over leaving brienne or she was mentioned or if the entire thing was addressed instead of spending four episodes building it up and then did in four minutes what it took six feet under an entire season to do with nate and brenda back in the day is bad writing, has no consistency, it also murdered tyrion as a character because I can’t believe that in the span of two episodes he goes from I’m happy that you’re happy to WELL I DON’T HATE MY SISTER SO MUCH JUST GO TO PENTOS when ah, wait, c. sent bronn to kill both of them?

also ‘who ever cared abotu the innocents’ or whatever the fuck that line was??? wow, that’s all this asshole has ever cared about in canon to the point of losing his reputation for it not counting c. or tyrion at least in the very beginning of the series when everyone thinks he’s an ass, and I have to buy that this episode was halfway decent writing?

also: even if I was okay with jaime’s ending - which I could have been if at least it amounted to something because that entire episode was a plot hole after plot hole (where’s widow’s wail? he waves WITH THE FAKE HAND??? WTF??, did he ring the bells so he actually helped destroy the city without knowing dany would lose her shit through jon connington’s ghost possessing her? if bran didn’t rat him out bc he had A ROLE TO PLAY what was the damned role since he hasn’t done anything until now that warranted it??? just the first four) and he didn’t even… help cersei or take her out like he literally was there to just give her some basic human comfort and rocks fall everyone dies, what’s the sense of it?? -, anon, this entire narrative leaves brienne horribly;

because sorry but in the best of chances she’s not pregnant and someone lies to her and tells her jaime went there to stop cersei and tried to be honorable (which given what they made him say about not caring for the innocents makes it bad writing but nvm) and she can think okay, I waited years for the right guy to trust/open myself to and then he left me like that but at least he did it for a good reason now will I ever trust anyone again, maybe, and I assure you that getting over such a thing is not too easy, but that would be the best option. mid-bad option: she still thinks he did it for the right reasons but she’s pregnant so hey, she has an illegitimate child from a man who left her like that to go into a senseless death making her believe she was wrong about him and breaking her heart and she has to play single mother in tarth without him or maybe she can hedge knight along with the kid or leave him with pod or smth but that doesn’t look good on jaime either. or worse, she’s pregnant and she finds out he went just to die with cersei and didn’t even mention her or anything to tyrion along the way so she did all of the above…. for a guy who at the end of it as the narration puts it just went back to die with c. and a kid he didn’t even know might be real or not when she could have given him what he always craved/wanted/needed and left her like that? like, anon, even if it was a good ending for jaime, there is no bloody way that brienne gets out of this mess of a season with a dignified ending unless they somehow manage to pull a miracle out of their arses and sorry but their writing has been so bad that I honestly doubt it, not even david milch showing up like the calvarly could salvage this crap of a finale, and for all characters tbqh, not just them;

on top of that, sorry but it passes the message that brienne, only rep. in this show for nonstandard attractive people who spends years thinking she’ll never find love and suddenly thinks she can be happy with the guy who also fulfilled her greatest dream and opens herself up to him putting her vulnerability on the line (and while I don’t really think the whole virginity thing is that much of an issue since she actually did manage to give it to the guy she wanted it does mean something in this context)…………. shouldn’t have done it because wow, left like that without a second thought and without being addressed in the next episode at all by at least tyrion who has spent the previous four episodes either admiring her or trying to get her and jaime together never mind jaime? wow, I mean, I surely signed up to see the character I always saw myself in getting this shit treatment by people who obviously didn’t understand either her or jaime at the bottom of it for as much as I still think 8x04 did it right until the end?

anon, I appreciate your optimism about that narrative, but this episode was so badly written that it managed to about destroy the narratives of characters that weren’t even in it (sansa and brienne, and let’s not even discuss sansa because lmao), to have every single person but davos and possibly jon but meh behave ooc given what half of their lines said if not their actions because even if we take jaime’s actions as your reading (legit) what they made him say was still atrocious and ooc and same for tyrion, let’s not even touch dany or sandor/arya or really anyone that wasn’t davos. I cannot, in all good conscience, find anything good about this mess because it was badly written. period. even if we decide that the plot and motivations were fine and we try to make them make sense the way you did, the execution was shit, the dialogue was shit, it looked like they weren’t even trying, it did a disservice to every single character that was in it except davos who was there for five seconds to smuggle stuff and I honestly, honestly, cannot even find the force of will to try to make sense of it.

this entire season has been a gigantic plot hole, it wasn’t coherent within its own narration see ep. 2 clashing with ep. 8, 90% of what happened post 8x02 was for shock value without giving a single fuck about making it look in character and making the characters behave nonsensically - and I don’t mean just jaime, I mean all of them to serve the undoubtedly wtf shocking ending they have in plan for us which if I guessed already I’ll hate with the force of a thousand suns, and I’m honestly done with trying to make sense of this thing because nothing makes sense anymore. I appreciate that y’all are trying but I give up. I can’t make sense of a narrative that goes like ‘we’re doing this because it’s cool and if it doesn’t add up with everything we did before who gives a fuck’, and I honestly can do without trying to find a silver lining in a show that has totally twisted the message of the books and turned into an angst fest for which everyone has to be miserable at all costs or it’s not good tv, and that’s the last I’m going to say about this specific matter because:

a) I’m tired, b) I want to finish my spitefics and ignore this mess ever happened and concentrate on doing something that makes me happy, c) if I just keep on thinking about how bad this was IN GENERAL I wish jaime was my #1 problem I just feel worse and I don’t need it, d) the fact that they did brienne this dirty and she wasn’t even in this episode is really leaving the worst sour taste in my mouth and it’s already bad enough that I have to hope her ending is only 80% crap and not 100% crap, I honestly can’t with discourse that tries to find any basic sense in how this episode was conceived and executed beyond my problems with jc, jaime’s writing and the fact that they managed to get wrong one of his three most basic character traits that has nothing to do with brienne or jb for that matter.

thanks for being polite and nice about this and I swear I’m not mad but I honestly can’t with this episode and I would appreciate if from this point on anyone could refrain from trying to make jc sound better than it is where I can see it/where I can’t blacklist it because it’s really not a good idea right now. thanks again and have a possibly nicer than than mine. ;)

#Anonymous #ask post #only slightly less toxic than chernobyl's ruins #anti-cersei lannister #anti-cersei #anti-lannincest #anti-jaime x cersei #got negativity #game of thrones spoilers for ts #jaime x brienne for ts #otp: i dreamed of you #guys i get it but no #and now i'm going to do some work see y'all later

[becuzpurple]

Because Purple, Ch. 25, pt. 1 - Fragile

Here is part 1 of chapter 25.  i know it’s been wayyyyyy too long since I posted a new chapter (like...2 years...oops).  To refresh your memory, you might want to check out the previous chapter here, or perhaps my Master List here.

Hope you like it!

---

Chapter 25, pt. 1 - Fragile

I was having these dreams.  It’s not that surprising, I guess, since similar waking thoughts had been creeping up on me, as well.  They were always at an unspecified time in the future where Ed and I were together and very happy.  We were living together - all of us - somewhere.  We traveled together, but not always, and my dream-self knew that was ok.  We were a family, and it was permanent, and so secure, and it felt right.  But the dream fragments really rattled me when I was awake, because I was trying to force my mind away from those kinds of thoughts.  

What was the point in getting my hopes up when he couldn’t possibly want to settle down with someone like me?  That might sound melodramatic, and maybe it is, to a point.  But there was something he didn’t know about me, and once he found out...I couldn’t see how we’d remain together happily-ever-after.

So my secret, along with some other things (our age gap, my parenting situation, his career, etc...), became distorted in my asshole, anxiety-riddled brain into these enormous obstacles that I believed could very well pull us apart.  Maybe it was a subconscious, fucked-up way of trying to protect myself.  I’d loved someone and married him and built a life and a family with him, and that was abruptly taken away.  My entire world was destroyed, and my heart was completely stomped-upon and left in a million pieces when Jason died.  It had only recently started to mend, but I was still so fragile.  I didn’t know if I could recover if my heart were to break again.  So, if I convinced myself that Ed and I weren’t meant to be a ‘forever’ kind of relationship, maybe then I wouldn’t completely shatter when it ended.

Except, it was too late for that.  He’d already made his way into my heart and soul and showed me I could love again.  He was everything, and I was terrified of losing everything, again.

***

Friday, 19 February

We’d just returned to the hotel after a quick dinner out.  

Our plan was to spend that last night together before he flew back home the following day. It had been a busy and amazing two weeks - he met my kids, we had a phenomenal trip to Mexican wine country, he won his first 2 Grammys, I met his family, friends, and some of his professional circle, we celebrated Valentine’s Day and his birthday…it was a lot, but it brought us even closer.  Now that he was leaving, though, my heart was heavier and my relationship insecurities were starting to slip through in a big way.

Why am I like this?

I sat down at the small table just off the kitchenette, watching him as he flitted around the room searching for glasses.  He was chatty, telling me all about his plans for the next month or so.  He had some time set aside for writing with his friends, and then some studio time booked in London.  He was really excited about a meeting he had scheduled with an architect and a general contractor to go over preliminary plans for a home-studio at his house in Framlingham.  Hopefully,  they’d be ready to submit them to the village for approval soon afterwards.  

I normally love seeing him so animated like that - his enthusiasm is refreshing, and it’s usually contagious.  But this time it made me feel uneasy. It was clear how much he loves his home.  But it just gave my insecurities more reason to fester, because how could we really make this work if my family and I live here, and he’s planning ahead with customizations to his permanent home in the UK?

“What do you think about you and the kids coming for a visit the next time they’re on school holiday?  Maybe in the spring?  Even if it’s for less than a week…I’d really love for you to see my home.”  

He smiled as he said it, and god, why did that hurt so much?  Nothing had changed, really, but I was suddenly a basketcase.

“Oh, yeah, that would be great.”  Even to my own ears I did not sound thrilled.

He stopped and looked at me, clueless as to what my problem was, obviously.

“I…thought it might be a lot of fun for everyone.  Was I wrong?”

“No, no, you’re…you’re right.  They’d - we’d - love it.  Really.”

“Okay.  I’m missing something here.  You’re making it sound like a prison sentence rather than a visit.  What’s going on?”

He set our drinks down at the table and seated himself across from me, a tense set to his posture.  

“No,” I sighed.  “I just…I hate that we live so far apart, and that the next time we see each other will probably be in a few months.  It’s hard.  And you being...you’re so excited about the changes you’re planning for your home, and I love that, but it makes me wonder...I mean, how do I fit into that...part of your life?  We - the kids and I - we live here.  It would probably be much easier for you if you were with someone who’s closer to home, or at least your own age who isn’t tied down with-”

“- Wait, what?  Someone else, what the hell?  We’ve already been through this.  You know...we’ll make this work - ”  

“ - I know, and I want that, too, but it seems...unfair to you that I have these other responsibilities.  I’m not complaining about my family at all - I’d move the earth for them.  But I wouldn’t blame you if you eventually, I don’t know...feel resentful about it.”

Although this really was a little bit of a concern I had, I was dancing around the actual reason I thought he might grow to resent me if we stayed together - the real reason I thought he might ultimately be happier with someone else.  But I didn’t know how to tell him.

He stared at me as if I’d lost my damn mind.  And maybe I had.

“You think…you realize you’re not the only person who has responsibilities, right?  I might be younger, but I actually have a lot of responsibilities, too… people’s livelihoods depend on my success - I employ a lot of people.  And I take care of my family, too.  Maybe not exactly the same way that you do, but still.  So I understand responsibilities.  Yet you say you think that I’m going to leave you…because…I’m not more important than your kids?  The fuck, Kate?”

“I…I know, I’m sorry.  I just wonder if, in the long-run...you might be happier with someone else.”

“Goddamnit, where is this coming from?  And you don’t get to decide what I want...what I want is you, and everything and everyone that comes with you.  There is nothing to resent - I’d be concerned if you didn’t put your children first.  I’d never want to be with you if you didn’t.  And I love your family.  I mean, I...I want that, to be honest - I want to be a part of that.”

“You wha - what does that mean?”  No.  no, no, he can’t be...

He took a breath before going on, his voice low, yet sure and steady.  "I think about my future, and no matter what the situation is…You. Are. There.  Lucy and Nate are there.  Our children are there.  We’re a family.  I don’t know where - here, or back home, or both, I don’t really care…but I love you, Kate, and I want that with you.“

I had no words.  Literally no words.

"I’m not…this isn’t a…proposal.  I’m just telling you how I feel and what I want, since you seem to think...otherwise.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you want the same thing.  You do, I know you do.”

And he was right, of course, even though I was trying really hard to sabotage it.  I absolutely wanted that more than anything.  But I didn’t say it, even though I could see him silently pleading with me.  Instead, I tried to protect my heart from ever being broken again by convincing myself that it wouldn’t happen.  And trying to convince him why it probably shouldn’t.  I was doing a piss-poor job of it, though, since I still couldn’t bring myself to admit the real reason I was so afraid.

“I...don’t want you to ever regret being with me.  You are young, and single, and successful…and you’re going to realize one day that you could do so much better than…me.”

He looked at me, completely bewildered, before going on.  “I - I’m gonna say this one more time - please hear me.  I. Want. It. All. With. You.  I’m done being out there.  It’s only you.”

“But, this is all still so new with us…we haven’t even had that conversation.  You can’t just assume that-”

“So, let’s have it right now!  I’m ready for it.”  His mouth was set in a thin, straight line and his eyes were on me like a laser beam, waiting, challenging me, and rightfully so.  

My head was spinning, my mind whirring, my heart swelling and breaking at the same time and I was panicking and felt detached.  I wanted so badly for this conversation to be going in a very different direction, but I couldn’t bear to set myself up for that kind of hurt, again.

“What do you want, Kate?  Not what do you think you deserve, but  What. Do. You. Want?”

I shook my head, not willing to go there.  “I don’t know.”

I’m such a liar.

“You don’t know.”  He spit out a humorless laugh.  “Really.  Then what the fuck are we doing, here?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing!  I love you but I feel like I’m falling apart right now and my fucking head is all over the place and I don’t know how to make it stop.”

He was angry, I was a wreck, we were both so emotional and it was too much.  I wanted it all to just go away - to stop, and the only way I could think of making that happen was to remove myself from the situation.

“I can’t do this right now.  I...I have to go.”  I stood and grabbed my purse, coat, and overnight bag from the counter and started to make my way to the door, trying not to look at him. Avoidance was my game, but he jumped up and blocked my path, forcing himself into my line of sight.

“Wha-? Go where?”  He looked completely baffled.

“I don’t know…home, I guess?  Please just let me by.”  I was talking in short, quick bursts, and my voice was very high-pitched - I didn’t sound like myself.

He didn’t move at first, and shook his head.  “No.  What’s happening, here?  You can’t leave.  We-we have to sort this…”

“I can’t, I just...I have to go, please.” I felt like I was ripping my own heart apart, along with his, but I was truly incapable of sorting out anything right then.  I was overwhelmed and my fight-or-flight response was kicked into high gear - the flight part, at least.  I knew I was being completely irrational, but I couldn’t help it.

God, he was so upset - I’d never seen him like that before, and it made my heart hurt, and I couldn’t do anything to fix it.  He finally stepped away from the door, exaggeratedly gesturing for me to move along, then.  Almost as if in slow-motion, I reached for the doorknob, warily meeting his eyes before pulling it open.  

“Fine, then go.  Are you even coming back tonight?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed the back of my fist to my mouth.  

I let out a shaky breath before answering him.  “I don’t…I don’t know, Ed.”

“I’m leaving in the morning…will we just not fix this before then?”  He stood there completely broken - all because of me.  I positively loathed myself at that moment.

The elevator door opened just then and I hurried across the hallway to it.  I turned back to see him watching me from his doorway, defeated.

“I’m sorry.”  

We were both crying as the door slid closed.

---

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#becuzpurple #becausepurple #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fic #ed sheeran fan fic #celebrity fanfic #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #ed sheeran mature fanfic #Fragile #chapter 25 pt 1 #sorry it took so long #like 2 years #oops #anxiety is a bitch #oh no Kate stop!