#like not everything is covid related

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

[todayisafridaynight]

call me majima the way i miss makoto so fucking much <- i am talking about a hibachi restaurant near me that shut down years ago. and i miss makoto makimura

#snap chats #makoto was too good for this series now we're stuck with bitchass makoto (date) (my wife) #omg date.... i love date so much its been a while since i reminded all of you he's my wife forever #OH BUT I JUST REMEMEBRED SHE'S GONNA BE IN LAD8. ALLEGEDLY. GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE !!! IM SO EXCITED #anyways NO LISTEN TO MEEEE we had a hibachi place called makoto Because Im Starting To Realize Makoto Is The JP Equivalent To John #not even what the hell is a gender-neutral english name... w/e dont care anyway #SOOOOO good the food was AMAZING and the atmosphere was PERFECT and i loved going there just to be alone or for my bday.. #gen the best place ever the only hype-worthy place where i live and it shut down due to covid and i havent been the same since :(((( #anyway this is the only time ill relate to majima..... i understand you now i miss her every day of my life..... #covid took everything from me <- restaurants i actually like because i live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere #we used to have this like. car-themed restaurant that sold THE BEST wings ever oh my ffffUCKING god #ill never get over their KBBQ-dusted wings... literal heaven i wouldve been a wing addict had the place not shutdown..

[plexippusangel]

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.

#faer personal files #i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming #also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of #ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess #but i don't think that's the case #idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up #from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off #and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try #if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that #i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability #but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong #and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21 #or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart #bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times. #and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!! #and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine #but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart #like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like #no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can #and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going #too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa #more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around #idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian #but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the #FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on #anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.

[vydumaj]

I’m currently going through a minor identity crisis after, like, two weeks ago, at the age of 23, realizing I’m lactose intolerant. I drank some hot chocolate, got a really bad stomach ache, and thought to myself “it’s nothing, I always get a stomach ache after drinking hot chocolate”, remembered I got a stomach ache after eating ice cream two days before and then realized…maybe getting a stomach ache every time you drink hot chocolate (regardless of how little) isn’t…normal. it’s been like that for at least half a year, up to like 2-3 years… I guess I should’ve expected this since my stomach is super sensitive and my dad is lactose intolerant and also Thai (84-96% of Thai people are lactose intolerant depending on which study you look at) … at least lactase enzyme pills seem to work for me so I won’t need to give up ice cream lmao

#t says #but…that feels like an odd discovery to make now all of a sudden #covid may have made it worse though…is there anything covid doesn’t fuck up #I also wondered if I may be lactose intolerant like 2 years ago when I was investigating everything wrong with my stomach (I still have no #clue) #but thought I wasn’t since I eat ice cream with what I felt was no problem #since most foods give me minor stomach aches anyway I didn’t think it was noteworthy #lol #random post sorry #I now realize that stuff like me wanting to eat cheese bc I like the taste but generally avoiding it bc I get stomach aches #is probably also related to this #my mom is Swedish and not lactose intolerant #it’s the norm here only 7% of the Swedish adult population is #I grew up drinking milk with everything.until I was 14 I had milk with every meal (then it started making my acid reflux worse) #so I didn’t expect this at all 🥲

[avalencias]

man the weirdest thing about 2024 so far is my nyquil induced dreams this time meant I dreamt about lexa. in the year of our lord 2024!!!!!!

#I have never dreamt about lexa before brain 😭 #like tbh! I do tend to have vivid dreams! #but they’re usually like. some weird stress job related shit #(tbt that time I was stressed about a call up and made up an even MORE fucked up way to file evidence #by having to paper file everything except the filing window was somehow a fucking stump in the middle of the woods where faries would accept #the filing or not???????) or like. idk sometimes you have intense dreams about dating your friends and things are weird for a bit. #but this?????? #anyway that’s how the 100 dominated my brain entering 2024 happy new year everyone #also I’ve been sick this past week (did I catch covid at the holiday party we were all forced to work at? probably? did it thoroughly fuck #up my holiday plans? 10000000%!!!!! I wanted to play sooo much bg3 and enjoy the family nye party!!! and yet #here I am) so I have spent most of my week sleeping it off and thoroughly fucked up my sleep schedule so that’s fun!! #more importantly humi and tamal were VERY sweet and would not leave my side while I was bedridden (exaggerated) but now that I’m better #they’re like ok whatever bye. except it’s cold! I miss the snuggles 😭 #anyway. #personal tag #I guess

[asexualastarion]

Covid is unfortunately spreading around my marching band. Was talking to this guy I hate. He was like “I can’t believe I didn’t get it!” (a close contact of his tested positive last week). I said. “Well don’t call it too soon, it can take up to two weeks to incubate”. He said. “Wait, for real?!”. Girl. I hate you so much

#WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID #it’s like everyone forgot everything COVID related once the mask mandates ended. kill me #I have been spared so far thank god even though people I’ve stood or sat next to for long periods of time have gotten it #also like the are no fucking regulations bitches will be out with Rona and back like four days later cause they tested negative once. #girl go home. #it’s like week two or three since people have started to get sick and this plague is going to spread around the band for MONTHS if this is #the way people are acting #people’s ROOMATES will be sick with it and they’ll show up to practice without a mask. what in the hell

[bumpscosity]

Got my next covid booster 💪

#it was like an hour ago and my arms already starting to get sore this is gonna suck again #also on the paper I had to fill out beforehand I almost wrote that I was 17. I turn 21 next month #2020 fucked me up so bad I stg my brain froze in time the second lockdown hit #anyways with each covid shot I seem to have less and less symptoms so I think I’ll be mostly symptom free #everything non arm pain related usually hits the next day so tomorrow may suck but who knows #sassy speaks #tw medical #tw needles #worst thing that happened was the fact that I had anxiety abt getting the shot and then had to go run errands which #going to a packed store also stresses me out so I’ve just been anxiety filled all day 😀 #gonna take it easy today. maybe draw to keep my arm moving #warning for ppl with intrusive thoughts for the next tag it def has something that could cause a spiral #also right as she was putting the needle in my arm my brain went ‘WHAT IF THE NEEDLE BREAKS OFF IN YOUR ARM’ so that was fun

[ii-zi]

I always had "weirdly good" skin, to the point that nor hormonal disorders neither weight gain left a single mark in my body. The only ones I had were mostly from bad wounds

But when my whole body basically started collapsing "out of the blue" years ago, intensifying every shit symptom I've ever experienced, the one thing that never made sense was the stretch marks

They literally showed up overnight, years ago, and don't look like they're healing anytime soon. They look as if they "opened" every now and then, and even hurt at times lol

Turns out it could all be connected. There's a single diagnosis that could explain literally every single aspect of my life, including something as innocuous as that

#my throat hurts so bad my cough is v dry n it's scrapping it raw lol breathing is Pain #weight mention #idk im so hopeful about it that the thought of seeking said diagnosis almost repels me lol doctors literally never listen to me #a random doctor from one of those offices inside farmacies gave me a #prescription for prozac???????? when i was there comolaining about fever related symptoms and possible covid?????? #granted i was shaking lol but i hadn't stepped outside of my house for two entire years n there were So Many cars n ppl and #huge unattended dogs #but PROZAC????? im not even sure she's actually allowed to prescribe controlled meds lol #''your stutter is more annoying than normal. here's prozac'' ????? #ofc i didnt bother w the prescription #she didn't even check me. not my temp not my pulse not my throat #(was there for possibly having /had/ covid several months ago btw so not excusable by that lol) #and only looked at me twice between writing down my info n handing me the paper #idk maybe it's just me but like. arent those supposed to be harder to get sjldnflandld #vent #ig JDNAKDKAKFKSK #like if it went like that. what would happen if i went to #a specialist or smth n explained Everything to them #I'd get put down like a fucking lame horse on the spot

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

me every time i’m violently sick: why am i cash money dyin’ like this??? why must god try to nerf me like this??

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona tries to be funny and relatable #but seriously though #i’ve been SO FUCKING SICK since monday this week #i’ve been coughing up my guts like no one’s business #and half the time i’m coughing then up is just to fuckin burp bc i’m coughing so much….. #…..that i can’t even burp and my throat’s fuck #(and not in a thrussy type of way if you know what i mean #like it shouldn’t hurt to yawn but it fucking does #and it doesn’t make sense bc my PCR test was negative for everything #like covid flu types A and B the new respiratory virus ping around and the other one #so what the actual fuck do i i have???? #and i can’t book a dr to find out bc i’m betting thsg by the time i’ll see my dr i won’t be sick anymore #but omg im over it bc my whole upper body from my head down to my waist fucking hurts bc im coughing so often and so badly #like i had to wfh today again bc i could t get through convos w/o either sounding sick or constantly coughing #but i know i’m blaming it on the end of the ciggy i had last week from one of the girls in my cadet shop group last week in sydney #bc everyone in the small first group i went out with on wednesday night was surprised that i’d never smoked and stuff #so they were like ‘finish off ally’s cig’ and i tried to but i choked on the smoke #i’m just not cool enough to smoke lmao #but i’m defs blaming it on that and also on the train rides around syd and on the way home #and the aircon in the hotel lmao idek #anyway

[giuggiulu]

Anyway next time y'all want to make fun of lesbians for how fast they move in a relationship take a sec to think about former-lesbians-maybe-they-were-bi-all-along and their wet rat boyfriends

#we've been together for: less than two months #tonight he is: moving into my apartment #we started talking about this within a week of getting together #am i kind of freaking out? maybe #is this gonna end horribly? it's a possibility #am I so extremely tired of over rationalizing everything and never letting myself just go with how i feel? god i am. #I'm SO tired of doing things logically #also he was basically at this house 24/7 months before we even got together it's not like it's gonna be this big change #AND we could use one more person to split rent and bills with #see now I'm over rationalizing this other side of things #anyway point is!! welcome new Giulia that lets herself feel emotions fully and makes choices with their heart #and has never been happier in her life! #i did just have an incredibly shitty 7 to 10 days actually but it was family+university+covid related lmao #and even counting that this past two months have still been the happiest of my life that i can remember #a toast to making dumb life decisions and somehow still ending up where I've always hoped I would! #except the whole. he's a man thing #that i was not hoping nor expecting #10 years being absolutely 100% sure I'm a whole ass lesbian #(just in case someone is actually reading i don't know if i think that bisexual is actually the right term for me #I've been going by queer for like 5 years now I'll still stick to that thank u bye) #shut up Giulia

[illuminiscentboba]

Yalllllllll I’m thinking of reconnecting w a friend I haven’t been around in a little while 😭😭😭 we’re on good terms and she’s v sweet and nice but since I haven’t been at school (all of my classes r online) I haven’t seen her in like more than 2 years 😭 and 3 years ago I haven’t got much time to acc interact w her bc our schedules were conflicting anyways 😭

note; PLS AFTER THE TAGS MAYBE THIS NEEDS A TRIGGER WARNING ?? 😭💀 or like a tw; neg

#I just can’t with everything #I feel like I’ve been really disconnected from my irls ig since covid started #but the disconnection feels even realer now #esp bc one of my super close friends that goes to a diff school has been really distant and only ever hangs out w her school friends #which is v understandable but like we’re neighbours it takes me one minute to get to her house deadass #she even dyed her hair twice and didn’t say a word about it until we just met up one day and I haven’t heard from her since #besides the time she told us to vote for her friend for smth for the entire district related idek #it hurt to realize that someone I considered close to me didn’t see me the same way esp bc we’ve known each other since like MIDDLE SCHOOL #like almost elementary tho she’s distant with others too so I should’ve seen it coming ig

[heron-iles]

I'm so excited for this little travel i'm doing with my friends! We are going to museums, we are going to this cute pink cafeteria and we are having a picnic in a really beautiful park!

#i love them to death they are so special to me #and even if related to mental health this summer was the best I had since covid #my home rn is not the best place and I haven't had the oportunity to go outside so yeah it feels like I can finally breath and exist #I have everything prepared and this feels like if it was Christmas! #also I have my switch ready and my sketchbook bc my train is ughhh so early and I'll spent all of my morning there so I need distractions #but yeah I'm taking this as #my reward after these 2 shitty years #angie's haven

[kirishwima]

and bc, yknow, life HASNT given me enough punches the last few weeks-im also sick w covid 🤡

#i knew it just from my symptoms #my throat is so sore i can barely breathe without pain #and i had a fever last night that kept me up for hours #and still like an idiot i went to work bc my self tests and lat flow tests were all negative #but i did a pcr at work and ofc it was positive #my colleagues didnt even care that im sick they just cared if its covid or jot #bc if it was covid someone else would have to cover my nightshift tonight #and someone will have to cover it next week too #w me now all of the staff in our ward has been sick at least once #it just came at the worst fucking time #ig i was immunocompromised w all of the stress and everything lately #i hope my symptoms will get better soon tho #theres 2 kinds of somatic symptoms i cant stand: nausea and sore throats #i can handle any other type of pain except these 2 #not fandom related #delete later #i wanna cry srsly

[piplupod]

my sister has taken to calling really fucking normal ass opinions "radically liberal" and i am so so so tired. so unbelievably tired. i thought university was supposed to turn u into a leftist, not just give you more language to shit on leftist politics. what the fuck.

#like. ''police hurt people sometimes'' or ''addicts are people too'' or ''homeless people should be given shelter somewhere'' #i think those are fairly normal baseline opinions to have. and yet!!! #idk man i think i am going to do something very bad to myself soon. im so fucking tired. i cannot keep this up for much longer #literally i am getting physically ill these past two weeks. like i took a covid test today bc i thought maybe i somehow caught covid again #but no its just. stress. and everything. im having dizzy spells where i cant hold myself upright and almost pass out ??? #i am nauseous and shaky 90% of the day??? its not hunger related either (although the nausea gets worse after eating lmfao) #like i just. i cant do this. unfortunately im the fastest crocheter in the system so nobody else can take over #which puts me in uhhhh. well. a lot of danger if im honest. i dont do well w this month ever. #usually have lots of huge memory gaps and occasional blackouts. so im not feeling well from having to be front constantly this year #i just. idk. idk! theres nothing to be done for any of it and i just have to hope I survive it i fucking guess #really being pushed past my limits though. i can count on one hand the amount of times stress has made me physically sick. #this is scary honestly. call me scooby the way i cant fucking doo this anymore!!!!!! #suicide mention #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[canichangemyblogname]

Ever have a conversation with your parents and then wonder, "Was I switched at birth"?

#there's no way we're related #a lot of times when you meet people's parents you're like #ah. apple doesn't fall far from the tree #instead I get: 'How in the fuck are these your parents?' #spoke with my mother (over phone) and greeted: 'Hey ma! Is dad there too?' #'No. Your father just left for the grocery store. Why?' #'Just wanted to say hello. How is everything?' #'Your father and I tested positive for COVID this morning.' #'I'm sorry. Did you say dad went to the store?' #'Yes. He's wearing a mask.' #ARE YOU. ACTUALLY. BRAINLESS? #witless #unintelligent #foolish #dense #what the FUCK

[alyjojo]

Mercury is retrograde until Jan 18th., and I didn’t even pay attention until today, when the school nurse left two voicemails and I realized my phone was off…must’ve missed that bill (which never happens). Best one to miss I guess. Thank goodness I still get the voicemails. Husband has the plague from my oldest, and apparently my rosy cheek girl does now too.

Me and lil guy are going out dangit, we don’t want it!

#not Covid its belly sick 😷 #but still #keep that #may be doomed #I’m taking down this dang xmas tree gonna start a fire #it’s unplugged but that’s why #HE would start a fire #and be like ope… #happy retrograde everyone #I wish you no fires 🔥 #and good test results on everything health related #a lot of my friends & family included