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wu-sisyphus-gang · 2 days

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Weiss and Jaune go out drinking

Weiss: “Who would have thought from back at Beacon I would be with you. You and Rub-by b-both.” *starts to slur*

Jaune:

Weiss: “Not a word.”

Jaune:

Weiss: “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Jaune: *starts laughing*

Weiss: “Stop it!”

Jaune: “I fucking knew I could get you to slur. What’sa matter? Is your cute little pink tongue getting hard to control?”

Weiss: “Why is it cute when it was sexy before. Why am I sometimes cute and sometimes sexy? Tell me that.”

Jaune: “After you have a shot with me.”

*does so*

Jaune: “It’s cute when it’s fumbling around for example. But when we kiss and our tongues gently touch it’s sexy.”

Weiss: “How about in Atlas when we kissed and you called me cute. Or adorable, maybe? I was supposed to be sexy.”

Jaune: “When?”

Weiss: “When you and I first kissed.”

Jaune: “Oh right. You tried to wrap your legs around me. It would have been very sexy if you pulled it off but you failed. That made it adorable.”

Weiss: “So even as a failure at worst I’m adorable ta you. Don’t you dare.”

Jaune: *keeps laughing*

Weiss: “Itss not funny. You made me like this!” *slaps his thigh and hits something hard* “Do you have an erection right now?"

Jaune: “Mind your own business."

Weiss: “Do I turn you on right now?” She pressed. She grinned in almost predatory fashion and she leaned in on me. Then she rolled around and pressed her back against his chest and lay way back on him so he could see down her blue sweater. He looked away. “Am I getting you hot and bothered under the collar?” She asked. She spun her smooth neck around so he could see her baby blues.

Jaune: “You’re about to fucking get it if you don’t stop.”

Weiss: “Make. Me.” She purred from her throat.

Jaune: *swallows and she grins with victory*

Jaune: *kisses her hard. Her hand came up his chest then slowly ran down him to the inside of his thigh. He moaned into her mouth and their tongues met with a jolt.*

Jaune: “You’re distracting me. How am I supposed to think straight? You’re such fucking bullshit Weiss. You always have been. You cheat.”

Weiss: “Did you ever masterbate to the thought of me at Beacon?”

Jaune: “Like your ego needs me to say ‘yes.’”

Weiss: “No, you have to tell me. You said we’d talk about whatever I wanted. You said you’d do anything for me. You have to tell me.”

Jaune *glares at her* “You already know.”

Weiss: “Nuh-uh. If you want the real thing tonight you better answer me.”

Jaune: “You’re a cheater.”

Weiss: “Isn’t the real thing so much better?” *giggles*

Jaune: “You just love the power you have over me.”

Weiss: “A little,” she admitted and she rubbed a little circle on his thigh with her thumb. “What’s it gonna be?”

Jaune: “Yeah. I jerked off and thought of you.”

Weiss: “You could have made that sound romantic."

Jaune: “Now you have to admit that you like it when I get behind you and pull your hair. Admit it. The pure little Schnee girl is dirty and likes getting her hair pulled.”

Weiss: *She rolled her eyes but then she turned and straddled him. She swept one leg over his until she was kneeling to either side of his legs. She took his face in both her hands and she looked him dead in the eye.* “I’m a dirty girl who likes getting her hair pulled. Now you really have an erection, don’t you?”

Jaune: “It’s your fault."

Weiss: “Now that’s how you confess something like that. You need to try again.”

Jaune: “You really want me to?”

Weiss: “Unless you want to take care of that thing yourself tonight."

Jaune: “Another shot. Then I’ll give it a try.”

*slams one back*

Jaune: “Weiss, the thought of you gets me off and it always has."

Weiss: “That was better."

Jaune: *takes a swing on his joint*

Weiss: “Let me try that."

Jaune: “You sure?”

Weiss: “What’s the worst thing that could happen? I disappoint my father?”

Jaune: “It flips a gene and you have permanent psychosis."

Weiss: “That can happen?! And you still use!?”

Jaune: “That gene is already flipped for me.”

Weiss: “Fair enough. Let me try it.”

Jaune: *hands it off to her*"Hopefully this isn’t the last thing you suck on tonight.”

Weiss: “Don’t be vulgar.”

Jaune: “Are you kidding?”

Weiss: *takes a pull and exhales*"Besides wouldn’t you rather get behind me and pull my hair? Woah that was fast.”

Jaune: “Inhalants are like that. The lungs are faster than digesting alcohol.”

Weiss: “I think I see why you like it. It’s a real rush.”

Jaune: “It can be.”

Weiss: “Kinda scary though.”

Jaune: “Kinda. Don’t trip.”

Weiss: “What were we talking about?”

Jaune: “Me pulling your hair.”

Weiss: “You gotta get it by the base. Not the ends or else it hurts.”

Jaune: “I will roger that. Anything else I should know?”

Weiss: “The clitoris has as many nerve endings as the human eye.”

Jaune: “Is that true? That can’t be true.”

Weiss: “Oh yeah.”

Jaune: “Doesn’t it hurt?”

Weiss: “It can. You have to be gentle and tease it. But after you get things warmed up you can strum that bad boy.”

Jaune: “And that’s good?”

Weiss: “It can be so good it almost hurts.”

Jaune: “Almost.”

Weiss: “Does. Whatever. But it’s the kind of pain you want anyways. Like when you go inside and start stretching things it hurts but it’s a good hurt. Like a workout kinda. Like it’s being used like it’s meant to.”

Jaune: “I’ll do my best.”

Weiss: “Is there anything about guys that I should know?”

Jaune: “Why? Finally leaving me for some other guy? What’s his name?”

Weiss: “There’s no other guy! I just meant about you, really. But my advice will help you with Ruby.”

Jaune: “Gotcha. Nah, there’s nothing like that kind of thing. Not really. It all feels good. It’s great to be inside something. Right now it’s lonely. Little Jaune is lonely whenever it isn’t inside something.”

Weiss: "Poor baby."

#rwby #rwby incorrect quotes #jaune arc #weiss schnee #ruby rose #lancaster #whiteknight #whiterose #white rose #white knight #war of roses #motion sickness #tw drugs

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eyecan02 · 2 days

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Alastor Analysis

Alastor's background regarding romance and sexuality goes all the way back to early drawings that depict Alastor crushing on Kay-cee.

The story then moves on from a crush on Kay-cee to a full on relationship with Mimzy.

It makes me wonder how Viv jumped from Alastor in a relationship to Alastor being ace. It feels like quite a wide leap. With Viv being the creator, I have nothing but respect for her but I feel like Alastor can still love/possibly do sexual acts while still keeping in character and looking out for #1.

I feel like while Alastor was alive, he leaned toward graysexual and this is why. I don't believe this man died a virgin. As we all know Alastor is from the 20s. He's in his late 30s/40s, meaning that it would've been uncommon for a man his age to still be unwed/unattached to someone. I'm sure he went on blind dates set up by his mom, and even occasionally slept with women in order to keep up appearances. He most likely did this in order to make his mother happy since any mother would've liked to have seen their child happily married.

And after Alastor became an overlord, the occasional sex probably didn't stop there, because Alastor is all about about keeping up appearances and deals. He definitely comes off as someone who would use sex as a means to and end. If a woman wanted to trade their soul in exchange for Alastor's protection and one night with him, I feel like Alastor wouldn't turn her down. It would be a decision that would end up leading to an increase in power for him. He just likely wouldn't kiss during the act.

Now finally onto Alastor's relationship with Charlie. From the beginning, we've all known that Alastor has his own agenda and reasons for involving himself with Charlie. He's a master of manipulation, knowing love is a powerful motivator (the way he manipulates Vaggie by making her feel bad about Charlie and the commercial) and also digging into Charlie's daddy issues.

It was clear that Alastor tried to play the boyfriend card to piss off Luci. It was only after Charlie introduced Vaggie that Alastor changed tactics and switched to the daddy card.

This means that Alastor would be willing to play any role to get what he wants from Charlie, whether the endgame is obtaining her soul or becoming her royal advisor or whatever. If Vaggie had been introduced in the pilot as a mere crush, Alastor would've caught onto the daddy issues quick and would've angled for a romantic role in Charlie's life since love and sex would be easy things for Alastor to manipulate (if my theory is right about him using sex as a means to an end).

I feel like this kind of materializes during the pilot with the way Alastor keeps pushing Vaggie out of the way, and how Vaggie seems jealous whenever Alastor impresses Charlie.

We don't know if this weird competition for Charlie's attention will persist between them as the series goes on considering that behavior was absent in season one. What's interesting is that the jealousy aspect switched from Vaggie to Alastor. The second Luci hugged Charlie, we're shown Alastor looking maliciously at Luci with his eye twitching in irritation.

What do we know about Alastor so far? He's an attention whore . He's used to being one of the strongest demon lords (at least from the pride ring) so suddenly not having attention, particularly Charlie's attention is making him act nuttier than usual.

Usually, it's hard for someone to be jealous without at least having some feelings toward the one they're feeling jealousy over. "Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit that one could get accustomed." This line is for the entire Hazbin gang, but also a real sign he cares for Charlie.

He can still have his own hidden agenda while caring about Charlie and being attracted to her. And he definitely is attracted to her. Calls her "charming and adorable". The constant touching.

Some might argue that that's just a part of Alastor's power play/dominance but he already knows that those types of moves don't intimidate Charlie. In fact, she never seems bothered at all when Alastor tries physically to get closer to her.

Also, the animators placing Alastor in Charlie's bed with both of them on a HEART pillow is insane. They know what they were doing. We see the way Alastor's hands possessively spider crawl up Charlie's shoulders and the way he grips her face.

And by the looks of it, Alastor seems to lust after Charlie's soul almost as much as his freedom. Viv has said that Alastor can't love anyone because he loves himself too much. Yet, she has also described Charlie as "Alastor's mirror".

The fact that they even made Charlie's color palette similar to Alastor's. Her hot pink jacket is almost a reddish color and they both wear bow ties. If Charlie is a reflection of Alastor then wouldn't that mean he does technically love himself by loving Charlie? He could be Charliesexual.

Not saying Viv will change her mind. She already chose her endgame. BUT what if Prime and Viv compromise and we get to have one sided Charlastor where Alastor admits to someone or even directly confesses his romantic love to Charlie herself (without actually trying to steal her from Vaggie)?

#charlastor #charlie x alastor #musicalshipping #radiobelle

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sundeathh · 3 days

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LOVE BITE

ONE-SHOT | MASTERLIST

Pairing: Aizawa × GN!Reader • Words: 1,1 K

Tags: slice-of-life, cute, fluffy, romantic & cheesy stuff

CW: none worth mentioning. SFW.

It was a quiet night, and the soft glow of the bedside lamp cast a warm ambiance across the room, the gentle light reflecting off the walls adorned with framed memories of shared experiences. The rhythmic patter of rain against the windowpane only added to the comforting cocoon of the bedroom that had long turned into a sanctuary from the outside world.

Aizawa sat propped up against the headboard, engrossed in a book, his features softened by the gentle light. Beside him, you nestled comfortably against his side, your head resting on his shoulder as you idly traced patterns on his chest. The silence between you was comfortable, broken only by the occasional turn of another page or soft sighs of contentment.

"Would you like to have dinner now, love? I can go fix something for us if you're hungry." You mentioned, noticing you two have been cuddling like this for a while now, and it was getting late.

"I'd like to stay like this for a while longer, actually. I'm really comfy right now. I don't wanna move." He responded in a soft, relaxed voice, contrasting the stern one he usually wears at work.

After nodding your agreement, you moved just enough to place a gentle kiss on his jawline, and your lips inadvertently brushed against a spot on his neck, causing him to tense slightly. You paused, noticing his sudden stiffness, and looked up to meet his eyes, searching for more clues on his reaction.

"You're really affectionate tonight," Aizawa says with an even softer tone than before. While lowering his book to his lap, Shouta snakes an arm around your shoulders and pulls you back against him, moving his hand up to caress your hair.

That action makes you smile, and you lean your head on his shoulder again. "Well, I am affectionate when it comes to you… I thought you already knew that."

A quiet, breathy chuckle comes from within his chest and he says, with a hint of amusement in his voice, "Oh, I'm not complaining. It's… really nice."

Your heart flutters, and you lift your head to look at him with big, loving eyes. His eyes are soft, a rare expression that he wears only in moments like this, and his cheeks turn to a light shade of pink.

You can't help but smile at the sight of him. He looks so… homely, like a breath of fresh air. All you want to do is shove him all the love and affection you can muster.

So, without thinking twice, you lean in, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. The skin is warm against your lips, and his stubble causes a rough sensation to your lips, but you don't mind.

You lean back to allow yourself a moment to really look at him, and the usual sternness is replaced by an endearing warmth. It's a look that makes him appear vulnerable, open, and surprisingly captivating.

The contrast between his usual stoic demeanor and this softer side of him leaves you amazed, wondering how someone can exude such strength and yet look so irresistibly adorable at the same time.

Closing your eyes, you lean in to press your lips against his cheek again, unable to contain yourself as the temptation is too big. And what you end up doing is a little more intense than a kiss. Instead, you part your lips and press your teeth on his skin, giving his cheek a light, affectionate bite.

Aizawa jumps in surprise, and his breath catches in his throat. "W-wait, what are you doing?" His voice is slightly shaky now, and his breathing quickened a bit.

His reaction startled you too, since you weren't expecting him to jump. Pulling away, you bite your lip sheepishly, feeling embarrassed for having such bold behavior. "Sorry, Shouta. I didn't mean to startle you."

He blinks slowly, his brows furrowed as if he was trying to process what happened. Then, he shakes his head, looking away from you, his face flushed more. "It… it's okay. I wasn't prepared for… that, though…"

A wave of mixed emotions crashes over you as your heart speeds up, and you wonder if you made him uncomfortable. How stupid of you. Worried, you quickly start apologizing again, but he stops you mid-sentence.

"It's alright." He reassures you. "I was caught off guard, but it doesn't mean I didn't like it."

Oh.

So... he liked it?

You blink, processing the moment, and your own cheeks turn pink as you attempt to suppress the devilish smirk that threatens to appear on your face. "You didn't?"

Shouta shakes his head. "Yeah, I mean… the feeling of your lips on my cheek…" He pauses, furrowing as if he was searching for the right words. "It was… like I could feel your love in that one simple action." He concludes, slowly.

Your heart melts. That was exactly your intention, after all. Smiling, you tell him, "That's true, I wanted to express that. I don't usually bite people, only the ones I love most."

That's all it takes to make his eyes go wide again, and he forgets to breathe for a second. Quietly, he mutters, "you… love me? Wait… are we talking about the same person?" He tilts his head to the side, processing your words to gauge if that was, in fact, a confession.

He's not the only one surprised. Your eyes go wide too as you realize what you just said. You hadn't confessed to him yet. Well, not directly. You weren't sure if you should. "Um…" you start but are cut short by his unbelief.

"You… love me? I mean, I know you like spending time with me but did you just say it is because you love me?" His voice is soft but rushed, and you can feel the nervousness through it.

You take a deep breath to organize your thoughts and nod. "I… do. I didn't really put much thought into what I said, it just slipped out. But it's true… I was meaning to tell you that soon." You chuckle awkwardly, embarrassed that it happened in such an unplanned way. "Besides, I don't nibble people I like randomly, that would be weird. But you… I love you." You confess, blushing.

And hell, can you blame you? This man is a teeth magnet. You could nibble him all over and you'd be happy.

Aizawa moves his hand to grab yours, and he gently tugs you into a warm embrace. He kisses your forehead, his lips gentle and soft against your skin. "In that case… I'm glad that you feel the same about me." He whispers against your temple.

You sigh into him, feeling content. Of course, he does. You think he wouldn't react so strongly otherwise. He deserves some happiness, you suppose. And he loves you too, that's all you could ever ask for.

"Thank you." You mumble, tightening your grip on his shirt, and he squeezes you in return. It feels like everything is finally falling together.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated!

#my hero academia aizawa #aizawa shota x reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa x y/n #aizawa x you #bnha aizawa #bnha fanfiction #mha aizawa #mr aizawa #bnha headcannons #aizawa shōta #aizawa shouta #aizawa #aizawa fluff #aizawa comfort #aizawa mha

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bleucaesura · 2 days

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STOLITZØ - SEVENTY

The following morning, Blitzø sat on the couch wrapped in a big fluffy blanket. He watched as Stolas shuffled over in his robe and bunny slippers, with two mugs of coffee.

Blitzø unwrapped half the blanket and pat the cushion beside him. Stolas smiled warmly, handed Blitzø his mug and cozied up next to him. Blitzø draped the blanket around Stolas’s shoulders once he had settled.

Stolas grabbed the tv remote and started flipping through channels. Blitzø looked over at him lovingly. When Blitzø went to have a sip of coffee, he realized it was iced. He looked down at the cold drink in his mug, tears welling up unbidden.

F*cking birdbrain…

“Darling?” Stolas looked over at Blitzø. “Goodness! What’s the matter?!” Stolas clambered to get out of the blanket so he could turn to face Blitzø.

Blitzø calmly put his mug on the coffee table. He climbed on the couch and knelt in front of Stolas, putting the owl’s face between his palms and smooshing his cheeks until they fluffed in that adorable way Blitzø loved.

Blitzø smiled happily and gave Stolas a quick light kiss.

“Darling?” Stolas blushed.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Blitzø grinned happily through tears.

Stolas sniffled, tears springing up; he threw his arms around Blitzø and they fell back on the couch laughing, tangled in each other’s limbs, tails and the blanket.

The TV buzzed in the background.

“666 NEWS”

“I’m Katie Killjoy”

“And I’m Tom Trench”

“Ha. Ha. No one f*cking cares who you are, Tom!”

“On our show today we have a very special guest! That’s right! The big guy who put the big ‘O’ in Ozzie’s. The sexiest sin himself. The lustful leader, Asmodeus is in the studio with some scintillating updates on a new product to hit shelves later this month!”

The audience erupted in applause.

Blitzø and Stolas looked over at the TV.

“Welcome your majesty!” Katie clapped enthusiastically as she slid down the news desk to make room for Asmodeus, hip-checking Tom off his chair on her way over.

“Thank you, Katie.” Asmodeus leaned in front of and across Katie and extended a hand to Tom as he was pulling himself back up into his chair. “And great to see you, Tom! We still on for Friday?”

Katie was NOT impressed.

Blitzø had started drinking his coffee and almost shot it out his nose onto Stolas. He started to choke. Stolas thumped his back trying to help him breathe through his choking laughter.

They missed Katie’s next comment through Blitzø’s coughing and laughter.

“Thanks for having me this morning.” Asmodeus smiled his celebrity smile. “If I could be indulged a moment?”

The audience clapped.

“Before I get down to the… Nitty gritty,” Asmodeus winked at the camera and purred in a deep gravely voice. “There’s something more personal I’d like to touch on first.”

The camera focused on him completely.

“As many, if not all, of you know, Fizzarolli and I have gone public with our long term romantic relationship.”

The audience erupted with cheers and applause. Asmodeus smiled unabashedly and waited for the applause to die down.

“And while I embody the sin of Lust… I DO love Fizzarolli. Yes he and I are in a loving and monogamous relationship... Being in love doesn’t mean the lust disappears. I say it makes it deeper, and even more… Pleasurable.”

The sex absolutely oooooozed off of his words. The audience was rapt. Blitzø and Stolas looked at each other, blushing.

“But I digress.” Asmodeus chuckled, breaking the spell. “I’m here to say: I AM a hypocrite.”

The studio filled with gasps, whispers and confused chatter.

Katie, desperate to get back in frame, slid her face along the news desk until she was at Asmodeus’s elbow. “And why do you say THAT, your Highness?”

Asmodeus casually pushed Katie’s face out of frame and continued, unfazed.

“I embarrassed a fellow Royal, and friend, at my club when I called out his relationship with an imp. I was wrong to do so. Not JUST because I hurt a friend.” Asmodeus’s demon flames grew. “But because I don’t AT ALL believe in this elitist BULLSH*T division of classes.” The lights all but went out in the studio as Asmodeus’s flames erupted.

A second later, it was as if a switch had been flipped and Asmodeus was back to his charismatic, charming self.

“So! Prince Stolas? Blitzø?… Owner of ‘I.M.P.’” Asmodeus winked and said conspiratorially behind a hand to the camera.

“I’m truly sorry. And my blessings to you both!”

The studio was silent for mere seconds before the audience erupted in applause and chaotic conversations.

“What…”

“The…”

“Actual…”

“F*CK!”

Blitzø and Stolas traded expletives while starring unblinking and agape at the tv.

“Now!” Asmodeus rubbed his hands together, excitedly. “Who wants to hear about my revolutionary new vibrator coming out next month?!”

Tom raised his hand and nodded enthusiastically.

Katie stomped off set screaming into a phone.

Blitzø turned off the tv.

“Did that just f*cking happen? Or was I f*cking hallucinating again?” Blitzø stared wide-eyed at the screen.

“It happened,” Stolas said just above a whisper.

They looked at each other.

Blitzø threw himself at Stolas, burying his face in his chest feathers.

Stolas fell back, surprised. He hugged Blitzø to him.

Blitzø nuzzled Stolas and hugged him back.

“Is… Is this ok?” Stolas stammered.

“Eez comfy” Blitzø mumbled from his snuggle spot.

Stolas chuckled. He stroked Blitzø’s horns affectionately, feeling somber.

“No… I meant…” Stolas paused, unsure what to say.

“Is WHAT ok?” Blitzø looked up at him.

“That,” Stolas looked toward the tv. “All of Hell knowing…”

“F*ck yeah!”

Stolas was startled. Blitzø grinned at him. His eyes shone.

“Free f*cking I.M.P advertising from Asmodeus on the 666 News?! F*ck YES!” Blitzø pumped his fist and laughed maniacally.

Stolas stared flatly back at him. He hoped he had his best ‘What-The-Actual-F*CK’ face on.

Blitzø grinned at him and burst out laughing. He grabbed Stolas in a tight hug and nuzzled his neck.

“Stolas, you birdbrain…” Blitzø whispered. “I want the whole f*cking universe to know you’re mine.”

*****

#helluva boss #blitzø #stolas #stolitz #fanfic #blitz x stolas #helluva boss fanfiction #666 news #blitzø x stolas #stolitz fanfic #helluva boss stolitz #katie killjoy #helluva boss asmodeus #tom trench #vivzieverse #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #brandon rogers

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sinning5sos · 2 days

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valentine | Luke

Requested: yeah baby! could you write a smut abt dom!luke and fem!reader, where they’ve been best friends for years and have had just the thickest romantic and sexual tension, and luke brings y/n on tour and while she’s front row dancing and just like feeling herself to valentine, luke finds it like super hot and after the show he finally does something about the tension between the two of them. i love your work and i think you’d be the perfect person to write this!”

tysm, i love you

fucking sick idea

Word Count: ~2.2k

The music was pulsing through the arena, your eyes never leaving the lead singer, your best friend and you were so proud of him. You couldn’t believe that they were on another tour, and thankfully your schedule at work allowed you to travel with them for a few shows in the states.

You loved getting to see Luke do what he does, the fact that you’ve known him since you were kids and have gotten to see him grow into the confident man that he is, it made you ecstatic.

You’ve been a part of Luke’s life for a long time, you loved him dearly. The two of you became mates way back when you were just in your first year of school. The two of you had been stuck together since then, often spending time with the other. It was insane when Luke had started getting views on his covers, and even crazier when the band formed and started getting famous.

When the band moved to the states, you couldn’t imagine not having him only five minutes away but Luke practically begged you to follow along. Luckily, you found a job nearby and your schedule was flexible for the most part.

Honestly you didn’t even know how many times you had seen them perform at this point, but you knew that it just continued to get better every single time.

His eyes found yours as they continued performing Valentine, one of your favorites from them. Luke’s vocals always killed, and tonight he was on fire again. You sang along, a small smile on his lips as he maintained eye contact.

“Got nothing but love for you, fall more in love every day. Valentine, valentine.”

You zoned out as you continued dancing along, your hips moving gently to the beat as the song continued on. You felt a gaze on you, and looked up as Luke sang, it felt as if directly to you, his eyes burning into yours.

“It don't matter just as long as I get all you tonight”

You blushed as the song continued, and he sent you a cheeky wink as the crowd continued chanting along. Luke’s gaze moved away from you, and you lost yourself in thought.

It could've been unintentional. It could’ve just been Luke being himself, a little flirt. It could’ve been something more. You were never sure with Luke, you never wanted to push the friendship past what it is.

The others always pointed out that the two of you flirted with each other, your other friend pointed out that it was annoyingly adorable how much the two of you looked at each other or how handsy the two of you were. Sure, there were drunken kisses or cuddling during movies or the occasional shared bed. You always knew you loved Luke, you just didn’t know what sort of love.

The concert wrapped up quickly, your thoughts swimming due to that tiny wink from him earlier. You were already backstage, in his dressing room and sat on the couch waiting for him to finish up. He always had his post show ritual, where as soon as he was off that stage, he was taking a shower and finding a way for his body to relax.

After a few minutes, the door finally opened and Luke pushed through the entryway. He immediately smiled as he dove onto the couch beside you. You curled right into his side, his arm wrapping around you instinctively. His fingers grazing the exposed skin on your shoulder. You sighed, feeling content as you leaned even further into him.

“How was the show?”

“Amazing as always Lu,” You said, turning in his arms so your head was now laying in his lap. He shifted his arm so it was across your chest and he held your gaze.

“It’s one thing to know that you’re always there in the audience but it was another to see you that close tonight. Dancing along to the music, you looked beautiful.” He murmured, and you felt your cheeks blush.

“I’m serious, I don’t say it enough.” He whispered and your blush deepened, “I don’t say a lot of things enough. God, you looked fucking incredible tonight.”

“Luke,” You sat up and turned to face him, about to say something but he pulled you close to him. He moved closer to you, his movements hesitant as his nose nudged against yours. You didn’t stop him.

“I need you,” He murmured against your skin, his lips barely leaving as he trailed down your neck and you whimpered into the empty dressing room, “Now.”

You nodded, your arms wrapping around him as you pulled him closer into you.

“I’m in, but I need to know that this won’t change us.”

“It’s going to change us, but for the better. Seeing you in the front, seeing you dance along to our music, it made me realize what I’ve always known all along. Why I begged you to move with us, why I need you with me on the tour.”

“I just need you,” He whispered, his lips finally meeting yours and he nearly melted into you. You tangled your fingers in his hair, holding him as close to you as possible and all thoughts were gone as the two of you continued kissing. This wasn’t the same type of kiss as before, there was something deeper there.

“Say yes,” He murmured, his nose nudging yours and you nodded, “Out loud. I can’t move on with myself if you’re not as into this as I am.”

“God, yes Luke, of course.” You whispered to him, and his lips met yours again. His kiss became more desperate, and his hands moved to the straps on your shirt and pushed them down. You leaned your body into him, quickly removing the top and suddenly feeling exposed beneath him.

“Fuck,” He breathed out, and you laughed at him as your fingers continued twirling in his hair.

“You’ve seen me in a swimsuit before Lu,”

“Yeah but this is different. I get to finally act on every thought I’ve ever had,” He muttered, pulling his own shirt off as well. You unclasped your bra and pulled him back into you, your hands rubbing his shoulders and across his back as he trailed kisses down your chest. His teeth grazed over your nipple and you gasped quietly. This all felt so surreal, but damn it did he feel great.

He pushed your skirt up with his free hand, grazing your center slightly and your hips jolted into his touch.

“So eager for you,” You whispered and he chuckled as he pulled your panties down and tossed them behind the couch.

“Can I touch you?”

“Lu, I am entirely yours. Stop asking me, and just touch me.”

“Yes ma’am,” He murmured and you giggled as he kissed the inside of your knee and slowly trailed upward to your inner thigh, then to your exposed pussy. He kissed just above your core, his touch so light and you were craving more.

“Luke, just fuck me please.” You whimpered, and he paused to look at you. He licked his lips and nodded, before pushing himself down on the couch to adjust to a more comfortable position.

“I will, just need to taste you first.” He muttered, and you were worried that he was going to be hesitant again but quickly started eating you out as if you were his last meal. He groaned as he pulled back for a second, before his tongue circled around your clit and your thighs twitched at how fucking good he felt.

His tongue dipped inside of you, his nose nudging your clit as he continued eating you out. He pushed a finger inside of you and you threw your head back against the arm rest at finally feeling him. He pushed in another, and you felt yourself adjust to his touch as his tongue continued.

“Fuck,” You breathed out and he winked at you again as he continued to eat you out and finger fuck you. Only an hour ago he was winking at you as well, and now look at how much things have changed.

“Gonna cum soon,” You moaned, and he added a third finger. At this point, you didn’t need to be warmed up anymore, and your orgasm was quickly approaching. Between everything that’s happened, you felt your thighs began to shake and you quickly came all over his face.

You whimpered as he continued licking, nearly slurping and relaxed when he finally backed up. He sat up and made a big show of wiping his arm across his face and chuckled.

“Taste fucking sweet there darling,” He muttered and you giggled as you leaned up to kiss him, “But now I want to fuck you.”

“I want you bent over this counter so you can see how fucking hot you look while I’m fucking you,” He muttered, and your eyes widened at the sudden change. You licked your lips and nodded, taking his hand as he helped you up off the couch and pulled you towards the counter.

“Just like that,” He whispered as he guided you, and helped bend you over the counter and pushed your dress up as his fingers pushed into you again. You moaned loudly, your body adjusting quickly to him. He felt so right, and you moaned again as he curled his fingers inside of you.

“Need your cock Lu,” You grunted, and he chuckled as he pulled his hand out of you and sucked on his fingers again.

“Taste so fucking good.” He said, before pulling his cock out from his pants but he panicked for a second, your eyes on him in the mirror, “Condom?”

“I’ve had my birth control shot, and I’m clean.” You whispered, and his eyes widened as he caught your gaze. You nodded, as if to encourage him and he groaned as his palms rubbed over your hips.

“Fucking dream. I’m clean too, but I’ll do my best to pull out too.” He muttered, and you smiled as he stroked himself gently. He pushed in the tip, and you pushed yourself back to take more of him. He moaned quietly, his head falling back in pleasure as he was nearly fully inside of you, “You feel so good,”

“Just fuck me,” You whimpered, and he slowly pulled back out before he pushed inside of you fully. You could feel all of him inside you know, your body adjusting to him quickly and you desperately needed some friction.

His hands moved so they were gripping both sides of your hips, and you hoped that his fingers left marks for you to admire later. He started fucking you with more of an intensity now, his cock slamming into you with every thrust and the fact that you got to watch everything in the mirror was so fucking hot.

“Look at me,” He snapped, his fingers digging into your sides as you caught his gaze in the mirror, “Such a good fucking girl.”

For a moment, the only sounds that echoed in the dressing room were his hips meeting yours and his quiet moans from behind you. You held onto the counter as you felt your legs growing weak and put your weight onto the top. Luke continued fucking you, and you felt your orgasm approach quickly.

“Gonna cum for me?” He murmured, his hand reaching around to your clit and his middle and ring finger started to rub it in circles.

You nodded, words failing you as you pushed your back against his chest, your gazes locked on each other as he continued to finger your clit and thrust into you. Your orgasm crashed over you, and he moaned as he continued fucking you through the wave of pleasure.

You nearly collapsed into his arms, and he helped you move slightly. You knelt in front of him, your hand replacing his as you started to stroke.

“Now are you going to cum for me?” You whispered, winking up at him and he chuckled as he nodded. Luke gripped onto the counter behind you as you continued stroking him, and his cock twitched slightly before he came, doing his best to aim for your mouth but spilling down the front of your chest.

His eyes closed for a moment, his relief washing over his face as his legs buckled and you smiled up at him. You brought your fingers down to your chest and dragged some of his cum up into your mouth and he rolled his eyes as he handed you a tissue and helped clean you up.

“Come on baby, come sit on the couch with me.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead then helped you up to your feet and guided you over to the couch.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” You whispered, your arm lazily coming to wrap around him and he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“The wait was worth it,”

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hazbinfallinginaspiral · 20 hours

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Hello Again!

I loved what you did with the Hacker idea! Thank you so much!

Here is another suggestion, if you are interested.

Vox has those large Sharks in that tank we saw in Episode Two, unsure if you're aware of Vox's Pet land-shark Vark from the old Instergram Hazbin accounts, but it's clear our TV headed Demon loves Sharks.

So what if Vox has a partner who's a Shark Sinner or a Sinner at least with a Shark tail and Fins.

Would he keep them like a Doll/Pet?

Would he just adore them and let them get away with things that the other Vs would get mad about?

I'd love to see your take on this idea, but perfectly fine if this isn't something you wanna tackle.

Thanks!

Fellow Vox Simp 🦈

I imagine he infodumps about sharks to Valentino or Velvette all the time. He’ll spam them with pictures of sharks. Middle of the day? Sharks. Middle of the night? Sharks. Important meeting? Sharks. When he takes a day off (which is practically never) it’s likely spent with his sharks. And it’s adorable.

I imagine he would see a Shark Sinner and endlessly gush over them. He somehow drags them to V tower and hires them to do the taxes on the spot. He thinks it’s hilarious. He doesn’t actually make them do taxes, but they do have to stay at V tower with him. Also, if they tried to steal money or something and Val noticed? Well, we all know Val has a temper and would beat you up for tax evasion and post it as asmr to fall asleep to. Vox would easily stop that from happening.

If he has no romantic interest in you? Depending on his level respect for you, he’ll break out the adoption papers. Immediately. Congrats! You’ve got a new dad. And at least three shark siblings. Same vibes as Loona and Blitzø tbh.

In the case that he treats you more like a pet, you’ll be reprimanded and punished. You get special treatment, but you’re no stranger to his mood swings or his darker side. He doesn’t take you seriously, probably doesn’t care about how you feel. You’re not allowed to do much of anything without his permission. He’s still very sweet and loving, he’s just more… unintentionally condescending at times. He’ll coax a smile out of you with a present or your favorite meal, but he doesn’t hold much respect for you if he takes out the pet adoption papers.

If he takes out normal adoption papers? Congrats! You’ve already been written into his will for if he ever dies again, you’re loaded with cash. You can do no wrong in his book. He’ll protect you from everyone else and you’ll only get in trouble when you mess something up for him, specifically. Anything else you get in trouble for, he’ll bail you out. You get to go shopping and put with friends all the time- he interrogates them first, though. Classic dad energy.

Either way, expect a lot of pictures of you to be posted to his social media and texted to Val and Vel.

I imagine that since he genuinely loves sharks, he’d be way more loving towards a Shark Sinner significant other, probably showering them with compliments. Always giving hugs and kisses, spends so much time with them, it’s adorable. There’s be zero (or very little) manipulation and toxicity, it’s all wholesome vibes and fun.

You’d get the princess treatment, tons of gifts. He comes home with flower all the time, and is always replacing the dead ones. He touches your tail. A lot. Probably asks a bunch of questions about it too.

“How many teeth do you have? Do they grow back? Can you produce teeth on demand??? How does your tail impact your swimming? What do you mean there’s no beach in the pride ring of hell, fuck it, I’ll make one! Science can’t be stopped!”

Somehow he’d end up forgetting what he was asking about, and he’d just end up endlessly complimenting you. Admiring your gills, fins, tail, teeth, eyes, everything.

I think he’d actually be very sweet if he met a Shark Sinner, no matter the case!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #my writing #vox x reader #writing #reader insert #headcanon #thanks anon!

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adhd-merlin · 1 year

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when Arthur finally admits his feelings for Gwen to Merlin and says "my father would never let me marry her", and Merlin goes "you want to MARRY Gwen?!" like "shit, dude, I didn't realise it was this serious"

#arthur (2 days after kissing gwen): imma wife her up #merlin: what??#arthur: what??#'I think about her all the time'#'I care about her more than anyone' 😭😭😭#it lowkey bothers me when people make this scene about merthur #'he could be talking about merlin!' mmkay but he's not 🙃#he's talking about gwen #can we be about gwen for just one minute #also love this scene because merlin is SUCH a romantic #like it's such a fundamental part of his character it's adorable #look at his face when gaius is talking about his ex fiancée alice!!#(of course gaius was also taking about magic there which is why merlin had such a stupid grin on his face)#(love and magic are his two favourite things)#arwen #arthur x gwen #merlin #ep 2x04 #merlin 2x04

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mischivarien · 6 months

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Day 11: Crowley❤️ Aziraphale 🪴📖

#im only gonna do ones i feel like i can do so im not drained #i absolutely adore these two and i think they should kiss in a romantic way #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #aziracrow #fem crowley #fem aziraphale #fem aziracrow #neil gaiman #good omens art #my art #lgbtq

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niuxita21 · 1 year

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One day I’m gonna write a book. Can you imagine? A novel about everything that you and I have gone through? [Mariana laughs] It would be called “Ana and Mariana.” We’re going to be free soon, and we’ll be able to reinvent ourselves. So I’m sure you’re gonna write that book, and it’s gonna be awesome. We’ll see what happens. We have to let things flow, right? I think your novel is gonna be one of those that are pretty dark. Maybe one of those that are so romantic that you can’t put them down?

#madre solo hay dos #ana servín #mariana herrera #shitty screencap posts (TM)#I.... I don't even know what to say man #this is... A LOT truly can't wrap my head around it yet idk if I ever will #but I'm gonna try to be coherent because I don't want this post to have very few tags lol #um... so let's start with the adorable drunk faces #I love how somehow ana's is just *hearteyes intensify* and mariana is just *adorable sleepy drunk* hee #once again highlighting the different places they are at feelings-wise #I mean you don't just DECIDE to kiss your bff out of the blue one night just bc you're drunk like that shit has to have been festering #(exhibit A: Tender Brushing of Hair Behind the Ear: Fake Dating Edition)#I also love ana's rudimentary flirting omg girlfriend has it BAD and she doesn't even realize it #'I'm gonna write a novel about our story and it's gonna be suuuuper romantic' WHO SAYS THAT LMAOOOOO ily ana #also I adore how even at the beginning of the scene when ana's drunk brain hasn't crossed over into thinking about romance yet #and she's talking about the novel and looking at mariana her eyes keep darting to her lips #as effortlessly as when she was high on choco-shrooms right before she told mariana she loved her and kissed her for the first time #(GAWD that seems like forever ago and yet look... the consistency is ASTOUNDING)#most importantly though... I was truly surprised about how enthusiastic mariana was about the whole thing #she was like 'ferrán? who dat?' lmao thanks for that show #I'm fascinated by what this says about her like it's canon that she's in love with ferrán and she will say as much I think in the next ep?#but given the opportunity (and setting aside for a moment the fact that she was utterly hammered)#she was 100% down for banging ana enthusiastically and without being at all conflicted #I hope it speaks to the fact that the feelings she once had for ana are maybe not completely gone?#I can already see the next few episodes are gonna be rough so maybe that's why they gave us this episode lol #I only just finished watching and I've already lost count of how many times I've rewatched those last few minutes god truly god-tier tv #unrelated but please wallpaper my tombstone with the last two caps lord they are just so pretty

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happi-tree · 1 year

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Hey Happi!! :D <3 Hope you're having a nice day/night and for the ask meme: 👗❤️‍🔥 for Henry and Mercedes (clothes headcanon + romantic headcanon)

Hi, there, Countless!!! Tysm, I'm doing pretty well. Hope you are, too 💚💚💚!

Hencedes my ABSOLUTE beloveds this is going to be so much fun

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

Henry: Okay I think I've mentioned this once or twice, but in my mind, Henry definitely knows how to make his own clothing. Growing up in Oakvale, I think the fashions there were pretty circularly developed - you had the entire process, from getting the raw materials to finishing touches and clothing trades - sourced entirely within the village, especially since Barry placed so much importance on isolation and self-reliance. Everything was made by hand (perhaps with the exception of things like mending spells and such), and for the most part, everyone knew at minimum how to patch things up. I'd like to think that Autumn, back before things went from bad to worse, taught Henry a bit of her knitting skills. Barry allowed it, since he figured it was something of a meditative task that might help his son to focus and channel his energy. I'd like to think perhaps he also got a bit into embroidery as a teenager (rebelliously, since Barry saw Henry's tiny stitched flowers as childish, ornamental, and unworthy of anyone's time). This habit stuck with him even after he got transported and memory-wiped, and he found himself embroidering plants he didn't recognize along the edges of the bandana he was customizing for his girlfriend, Mercedes.

Mercedes: Roughly 75% of her wardrobe is hand-me-down clothing. I feel like Mercedes has a pretty large extended family, and growing up, she got a lot of cast-offs from her older cousins and relatives. And some of those relatives very enthusiastically allowed her to shop their closets when she was first figuring out her gender (trans Mercedes is REAL to me, ok) so that she could experiment with any style she wanted without committing too hard. She's also a very big clothing thief, and she has pieces from college friends and past lovers that she "forgot" to give back. She's a very thrifty sort of person and just adores the look and feel of pre-worn clothing - it's got character to it, and more often than not it tends to be very soft <3

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

Henry: I think Henry loves dancing with Mercedes to the songs on the radio. Mercedes is by far the better dancer, but Henry has a pretty good sense of rhythm (I mean. Glances at the Rocks Rock album), so they manage to not step on each other's toes (most of the time). He just adores picking his wife up by the waist and spinning her around on their kitchen floor, even if his back ends up hurting afterwards. His moves are a little dorky and awkward, but it never fails to make Mercedes smile, which is a mission accomplished as far as he's concerned. When they get back from Faerun, one of the first things Henry does is ask her to dance with him after the boys are put to bed. He twirls her around their kitchen, the familiar surroundings that he very nearly lost, the love of his life finally in his arms again, and he thinks that maybe, everything really will be alright :')

Mercedes: Mercedes records voice memos of Henry semi-secretly whenever she can, simply because she loves the sound of his voice. She has about 20 different clips of him laughing alone. This ended up serving her well when her boys all vanished for months on end - she would play the clips over and over, just to be sure she wouldn't forget his voice, wouldn't forget the man she was fighting so hard to rescue. It gave her something to cling to, even if some nights the sound of his voice trapped in time and filtered through her phone speakers drove her to tears.

#oof sorry we got a little bit angsty on that last one! apologies mercedes bbgirl #alt romantic hc for her that's less sad: her favorite place to kiss henry is on his ears bc it NEVER fails to make him incredibly flustered #like. he absolutely bluescreens even after years of them being together and it's adorable to her #what quarter-elf genes will do to a mf </3 sorry henry #also i am SO sorry this took 23857028375 years i got so distracted halfway through answering this lmao #thanks for the ask lovebird!#ask game #abeinginsand #dndads #hencedes

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yeonban · 10 months

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POV you're me reading Seiroku's birthday reply

#* dash commentary.#Me sobbing vs Soma's smile growing wider with every sentence read #He was ALREADY smiling at how cute Seiroku was nuzzling into his touch while sleeping. then at his groggy smile; his cuddles and kisses #'He thought the attention had been enough of a gift' Soma; a rich romantic hellbent on making Seiroku as happy as he can be: I can fix that #Seiroku's blush... every time Soma thinks he can't get any more adorable he goes ahead and DOES. forever a mystery how he manages it #'I'm lucky enough the universe let me meet you.' ALSO THIS MADE /ME/ SOB BC THEY REALLY COULD'VE NEVER MET #If Seiroku hadn't decided to go undercover / if he hadn't picked the Date for it they would've never met or would've met on the battlefield #LIKE?? looking at where they are now vs where they could've been if even One thing had been different is mind-blowing #'Seiroku shuts his eyes and offers a beaming smile that comes from deepest parts of his happiness.' <- Soma's FAVORITE part btw he Loves it #'It reminds him of the festival where everything had really started.' AND ME BAWLING AGAIN #Yk. Soma made me leave their jacket and haori in the room specifically bc he knew this next part was coming AGDASDSAJ #'Frankly; Seiroku wants to kiss him breathless right this instant'#Soma; also v much wanting to kiss Seiroku senseless and giving them a reason to return to their room even for a few mins before they go out

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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 year

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So... It's officially been one year since I day I caught feelings for K.yohei!

#kinda crazy how fast time flies huh? feels like yesterday i was watching d.urarara for the first time and my heart would flutter every time #i saw him LMAO i fell so hard #and now he's my husband so- hehe! happy anniversary i guess!#i dont think i'll be doing anything for it just because i'm really busy and tired this week and my life is kinda falling apart #but!!! i will kiss him!!!! ill kiss him sooooo much!!!!#he's a romantic guy aksjqksn gives flowers and takes her to a fancy dinner and everything- it's freaking adorable! i love him so much #also good morning squad #oh also. i ordered a wayfinder necklace because (gestures towards wife) a while back and it'll be here in a week or a week and a halfish #i'm so excited! i need a w in my life so bad rn ajsjahsj i ordered a red one! just like the one aqua gives s/i!#also good morning by the way #shit i already said that #it's a little past 6am sorry- i'm tired #but also! good morning :D!#ash rambles 💚#and happy anniversary

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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 1 year

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for the 'why wouldn't date them'

charles, hawkeye, trapper

and i think you might be into twin peaks? if so, dale cooper and donna hayward

whichever ones you want to do :)

Ahhhhhh omg thank you for all of these I want to do them ALL but let's go backwards.

Donna Hayward

Ok so the thing is I AM into Twin Peaks but it's been a while since I've seen it and I tried to watch The Return but I was too stupit to understand much less enjoy it :( sowwy. So I would be dating my own flawed incomplete interpretation of a person, really. Typical Twin Peaks.

Anyways I love Donna! I think we have similar personalities and stuff. In all brutal honesty I think if I were in her situation with a friend like Laura I’d have done similar things. Also yeah maybe her actions did lead a man to suicide but that was NOT her fault. I think the only three things that would prevent an attempt at a relationship here are

1) The obvious. Her taste in men = atrocious. In all the rest of these hypotheticals where the character is already canonically in a relationship or has feelings for another character I’m just like yeah the more the merrier but if Donna insists on inviting her insufferable ass boyfriend into the mix I could NOT fucking do it I’m sorry.

2) This girl is not ready for a relationship yet after All That god damn. But then again neither am I so maybe that balances out. We would need to spend some time as support group buddies just hugging and crying a lot before even considering a date.

3) It is unlikely we would ever interact as I am never setting foot in that town ever in my life are you kidding me. Donna is super pretty in both her incarnations but I’m sorry I don’t think any pussy pops severely enough for me to risk going to fucking doorknob hell or some shit.

Dale Cooper

Ignore everything I said in that last paragraph. I change my mind. I forgot my beautiful autism creature husband is here. I would risk it all for a date with Dale Cooper and so would all who know and perceive the truth. AND he’s got two hot girlfriends with him at least one of whom is ALSO an autism creature??? Sign me the FUCK up for this polycule IMMEDIATELY. “Oh but OP what about the horrors” I don’t even fucking care it’s fine. Dale can have little an evil doppelganger. As a treat.

Still there are some problems:

1) Dale is an FBI agent and Harry is a cop. Booooooo!!!! But maybe if Annie and Caroline and I unionize we can force them to quit their jobs.

2) Unclear if I would be forced to join the Black Lodge Horror Vision Rotation along with Annie and Caroline. Boring and time consuming task and unlike Laura you don’t even get to do a Big Scream.

3) I personally actually don’t like pie or coffee at all :( I’m sorry babygirl I understand if this is a deal breaker.

Trapper McIntyre

You know that “golden retriever boyfriend” joke? Trapper is like THE golden retriever boyfriend to me. Which I mean as an absolute compliment! Golden retrievers are friendly, helpful, adorable, lovable dogs. I am always up to pet a golden retriever.

But the thing is, I would never get one myself. They’re just a bit too big, bit too much energy, bit too messy, and anyways I prefer cats. No hate, no judgment, just a series of tiny preferences. Not into jocks, not into casual no-strings-attached type relationships, not super into kids, you know how it is. Boring and petty answer but I just feel like this adorable happy-go-lucky goldie deserves the PERFECT forever home and obviously he’s one of the most popular of all the dogs at the Mashblr shelter so I know he’ll get adopted super fast. So I can turn my attention to the miserable ass overbred old cat in the corner <3

Hawkeye Pierce

Oh, Hawkeye. I just don’t think so. Idk what’s wrong with me but I have to work to see Hawkeye as like. A dateable entity in my mind. He’s our little scrunkly! It’d be weird to date a scrunkly. BUT maybe I’ve just been overexposed to him purely by dint of being in the fandom he’s the main character of, because objectively I DO find Mr. Alda’s portrayal of him in certain scenes to be Attractive (TM), and seeing clips of his charisma and charm and humor and all that good handsome stuff is literally what got me to check out the show in the first place! Man. What happened. Hmm.

I think one issue is that scenes where he’s explicitly trying to be Romantic and/or Seductive have just never done it for me. Like comparing Hawkeye’s lovey scenes with Kyung Soon to Charles’ with Martine, there’s no contest in how they make me feel. To me, Hawkeye is honestly at his most appealing when he’s radiating Friend Energy, which is why his casual relationships actually work really well IMO; you feel like he’s truly a great pal to the nurses he hooks up with. This is also, I think, one of Piercintyre’s great strengths as a ship, because Hawkeye and Trapper both have amazing Friend Energy and then their natural compatibility makes that bleed seamlessly into sweet romantic vibes. And to be clear I would LOVE to be in a Friends To Lovers relationship too but unfortunately I am cringely obsessed with loveydovey romance in a way I’m not sure Hawkeye is even capable of. Plus there’s also just the fact that I’m a shy waiting til marriage person and I suck at banter and yeah it’s just not working. In conclusion neither Hawkeye nor Trapper should date me they should date each other!! But we knew that :P

THAT CUNT

There are 10000000 reasons not to date Charles. But I will be doing it anyways ^_^ Peace and love on planet earth <3

Anyways I’m not bringing up his Problematicness as a reason here because I didn’t bring it up for anyone else and nobody noticed, so why should it be any different with him. Like no obviously I would not date this dumbfuck racist but I also would not date a guy who thinks it’s a funny prank to make a woman think she’s being sexually assaulted. I also for that matter would not date a guy who works with the dumbfuck racist and is like aw, ya know what, he’s not that bad really :) the second they have a chance to have a bonding moment. I guess I have decided to be a buzzkill about that forever now btw sorry :( oh well

But ok no real talk I would Not date Charles unless one very specific condition is met, which is that I have whatever magic stardust they sprinkled on his single-episode love interests before they put them in the story that made him be utterly besotted with them, because more than any other character on the show, it seems, the difference between Regular Charles and Charles In Love is so hysterically huge??? Like fuck. My dudes. We’ve done it. We found the one villain who actually does do a complete 180 and starts trying to act right as soon as a girl takes pity on him enough to look at him twice. (Disclaimer: I haven’t seen Ain’t Love Grand yet I’m sorryyyyyyyy) He’s so ~romantic~ and it’s like catnip to me unfortunately. :\ The total opposite of what I said about Hawkeye up there. Offers a girl his stupid little teacup and recites poetry at her. Unbelievable. Did anyone ever think about the fact that maybe I would like to be offered a teacup and recited poetry at. No. You all only think about yourselves.

Like even though objectively the way he nukes his relationship with Martine was hurtful to both of them, he’s so Tender the whole time it’s insane. She turned him into her pauvre petit miaou miaou overnight. I want that power so fucking bad I NEED that power so fucking bad. Say it with me everyone. I Could Fix Him. (”But OP Martine and Donna DIDN’T fix him he still left them both and never mentioned them again?” Yes but don’t worry they were just loosening the lid on his jar a little bit. I’ll get him open you’ll see. He’s gonna be soooo well trained when I’m done I’ll make him apologize to Maxwell and everything. He won’t even need the shock collar after a few weeks.)

But yeah if I have to like, try to appeal to him on my own it’s not fucking happening. I have no desire to hear the equivalent of a DOS deepfake hologram that has become evil due to being trained on text scraped from youtube comments tell me I’m ugly and stupid, which is exactly what would happen. Up til now I’ve sidestepped the issue that I do not think any of these people would give me the time of day (except Maxwell who would take pity on me probably because he is sososo Good) but I cannot ignore how much Charles just would Not like me. I don’t know how the selfshipper community does it they’re braver than any fucking US marine over there fr. Charles would look at me like I was a gross little bug on the ground and I can’t escape it. Oh well. Who needs him. Where’s your sister you dipshit I’m about to GET IT

#THANK YOU for this kind ask beloved mutual!! Sorry it got long and weird it's been a rough week and I'm afraid that may have bled through #to all these answers which I'm so irritated at myself for but I can't fix it OTL #Starky loves answering questions #majorbaby #I LOVE when people notice what fandoms I'm in it makes me so happy thank youuuu #anyways DOS leading romantic hero of all time but nobody ever let him fucking BE one. humanity deserves to be driven to extinction for this #wtf is ''You give the longest compliments I've ever heard'' ''Then let me be more succinct [adorable kiss]'' BITCH I'M GOING TO KILL YOU #WHAT IF I WANTED A LITTLE KISS HMM!!!!!!! WHAT THEN!!!!!!!#Anyways I used to get so sad knowing my favorite characters wouldn't like me. Cried alone in my room over it as a kid.#Now it's just like whatever. Join the club.#Anyways I LOVE how DOS' insanely amazing ability to sell those one-episode romances better than any other main cast member #inadvertently makes Charles seem uniquely susceptible to falling in love at first sight and being an embarrassing little hopeless romantic #which is an absolutely hysterical trait to give your rude brooding misanthropic antagonist #''I hate everyone in the world and they are all beneath me #except for this random girl I met yesterday who is Everything to me I love her SO much <3<3<3''#SEE. LITERALLY A GUY FROM AN X READER ''I CAN FIX HIM'' FIC.#Actually in my experience most X Reader types are fairly uninterested in fixing the him in question despite all the bad press they get #like at most they only care that the Him is nice to THEM and sometimes not even that #like I'm sure this is a phenomenon IRL but it's really not there much in the kinds of fanfiction #that everyone blames for causing said IRL phenomenon #I know this because I AM an I Can Fix Him person! And I'd be the one to find Fixing Him content if it existed!#for me it's only fun if there's fixing involved tbh. I don't want a Mafia Boss Wattpad BF that's not fun.#that's literally just a guy being mean to you. do we not get enough of that IRL. I want a little project!!!#these tags are one giant red flag for me as a person but you should have known I was unsalvageable the second I begged off a date with Trap #NOT the behavior of a mentally well person #mash

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