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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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lesbianscottsummers replied to your post:

Jfc. Okay, let me be perfectly fucking clear,...

I just wanna day as an inc*st survivor myself I’m so sorry what has happened to you, what these anons are putting you through, and what they will undoubtably continue to put you through. I’m here if you ever need to vent/talk/etc ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️

*hugs to you for your shit as well*

Thanks, I appreciate it, but honestly I’ll be fine. The thing none of these anons ever get is how fucking powerless and pointless they are. Its like....LMFAO, I’ve survived abuse, rape, and a gaybashing. You really think your shitty little hostile messages are what’s going to break me or shut me up? LOL, please. You’re embarrassing yourselves. The most they’ve ever managed is being obnoxious gnats that are hard to swat and annoy the shit out of me.

Tbh, its not the anons that really bother me. Its the silence about their behavior. I’ve been out here catching shit like this for years...and so does most every other survivor I know who’s vocal about their trauma and how unsupported they feel by the very fandoms that pay the most lip service to caring about abuse, rape and rape culture. Not to mention all my friends of color who are vocal about racism, etc, etc.

And yet how many non-survivors (most white, because let’s be real, the vast majority of other ‘antis’ who are non-survivors themselves are people of color due to the overlap between people who fetishize and invalidate racial generational trauma and people who fetishize and invalidate survivor trauma of all types and individuals).....like, time and time again, you hear about ‘anti’ behavior and how disruptive it is to fandoms....with this signalboosted and perpetuated by people who just claim they want to ‘stay out of it’ and be civil and mannered and can’t we all just get along....

Well, no. We fucking can’t.....because the day some of us, whether survivors, people of color, nonbinary or trans individuals, started to say “hey, there are elements of fandom that actively are HARMFUL and ostracizing to us” a lot of people decided they just didn’t want to hear that, and only peeked their heads up to acknowledge when ‘antis’ rocked the boat a little too loudly.

But yeah, its only us who go around harassing people, never the other way around. At least, that’s the impression anyone would get from looking at any of the blogs of people who just want everyone to be nice and civil to each other....but only seem to get the alert when that goes in the direction that requires zero action on their part.

I mean, just speaking strictly to matters pertaining to being an abuse/rape survivor, I’m just so fucking sick of hearing all the lip service about how “I support survivors”.....from people who then make it clear that only is actionable for them WHEN NO ACTION IS ACTUALLY REQUIRED.

Hence why there’s always that tiny little qualifier in arguments around various forms of ‘anti’ discourse.....stuff pertaining to rape, incest and pedophilia fetishization....so many people when they say they support survivors in fandom ACTUALLY seem to mean “well I really MOSTLY support the survivors who say they write these things to cope, because even though I don’t ship or read or write these things myself, I support their right to do so, as opposed to those other ‘anti’ survivors’ right to have fandom experiences that don’t require being IMMERSED 24/7 in romanticized reminders of their own traumas.’

*Shrugs* I’m sick of it. I’ve watched it happen for YEARS, being right in the middle of it, and no one can tell me this isn’t EXACTLY what’s been happening for all this time, and why so many fandoms have remained exactly the way they are, problems and all, with zero effort to change or be more inclusive of all the people on the margins for various reasons saying “HEY WHAT ABOUT US”....and then turning around and patting themselves on the back for being so civilized, so courteous, so ABOVE descending into the kind of barbaric behavior that only antis are guilty of. Never the reverse. Never the things that INSPIRE our anger or vitriol as a reaction to the fact that we’re just trying to fucking EXIST in fandom spaces and everyone else who was just fine with the way things are now saying “no, change doesn’t actually work for us, because that means....effort?”

How can you say you support survivors if you never actually DO anything supportive? How can you say you support people of color if you never actually SPEAK UP for them when you see or are surrounded by blatantly evident racism? How can you say you support LGBTQ+ individuals if your READING PREFERENCES are more of a priority to you than their living experiences?

I’m not pissed off about the barrage of insects in my inbox, honestly.

I’m pissed off by the crickets that resound from everyone who at other times is first in line to say “I absolutely support xyz! Just, y’know, in that quiet, invisible way that’s more enabling of toxic, harmful, racist, homophobic, transphobic and rape-culture tropes and individuals than like....the actual people I’m claiming to actually support.”

Here’s a “if a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound” for the social media age:

“If your support can’t be pointed to, quantified, singled out, observed, identified, or in any way meaningfully proven to exist....then DOES IT?”

Idk. I mean, I just really love how in just the few months I’ve been an active presence in this particular fandom, I’ve garnered a reputation of being unreasonable and disruptive and overly aggressive....all while sticking ENTIRELY to my own blog, not going NEAR any tags, only jumping on someone else’s post a grand total of three times that I can think of....and all while my own fandom related posts are continually garnering hundreds and even thousands of notes and being spread around by people who at the same time actively avoid interacting with me as an individual because I’m ‘unpleasant’.....as opposed to all the big name incest shippers who well, even if someone doesn’t ship those icky things themselves, at least they can say those incest and pedophilia shippers are a lot less disruptive and unpleasant to be around and know how to be polite and well-mannered.

LOLOL.

When civility is indistinguishable from apathy, you’ve fucking missed the entire freaking point of civility.

THAT’S why I don’t bother blunting myself with it, when I don’t particularly feel civil. Because its become pointless. People have fucking WEAPONIZED it to use it to silence people, and that’s so gross to me. Nobody benefits from that unless they’re already benefiting from the status quo, and the status quo is fucking gross to me too.

My question, to all the people who see things they think are wrong and never say a damn word about it...is and will always be:

WHY????

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posi-pan · 5 years

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i love your blog so much (it honestly makes my day sometimes when i going through an intense mania episode), but i wanted to ask for some advice... or maybe i just wanna rant??? idk, but there's this blog that unapologetically made a post about how "any 'made-up' term is biphobia and transphobic" (i found this on the OMNI tag so i could find out what omnisexual really is. and their reasoning was that we (polys and omnis too)—

(PART 2) always point out that we’re attracted to trans people (i guess saying that we think trans men aren’t men and vice versa????), and how us not using the bi label is biphobic in it of itself and— ugh, I physically couldn’t handle the narisstic ignorance coming off of this person. like way to make your point by generalizing strangers and making them feel even more like shit because “tHE lAbElS are tOO COMPLICATED!!1!1!1!!!!”.

(PART 3) jfc, they would even listen to anyone else’s perspective on why they identify w/ pansexuality because that would just ruin their opinion that they try to pass off as fact. this person even ignores the fact that the definition of bisexuality says “mainly including female and male”. idk… i’m just tired of being called transphobic just because i’m pans cause that’s not it???

(PART 4) just because you’re trans, that doesn’t mean you’re any less masculine. and i’m even attracted to people minds’ more, i just don’t care about someone’s gender. yea, i like boys differently than girls or any other gender, but i’m bunching everything up and just ignoring their genders. it just doesn’t matter to me. if you say you’re whatever gender, then i’ll still like you. it’s doesn’t matter to me. i’m not comfortable w/ identifying as bisexual, because it’s not who i am.

(PART 5) that label never really fit me, no matter my gender. it’s the same way as asexuals, who like the opposite sex, don’t feel comfortable w/ saying that they’re straight. there is four categories in the “two or more genders” umbrella, but it’s complicated??? honey, it’s not one gender that we’re all attracted to, of course people are going to separate in order to feel comfortable in their own skin. idk, i guess my self-esteem just really tanked after reading that post and idk what to do.

also sorry about how long that was. you don’t have to answer or even all that now that i think about it. it was too much sorry for stressing you.

hi! I’m glad you like the blog!! and no worries about stressing me, you didn’t. I love when people rant to me. but yeah, it’s super annoying when people are SO confident and shameless about posting shit like that, because not only is it hurtful and invalidating, but it’s also just………inaccurate. pan, and other non-bi multi people, don’t “always point out that we’re attracted to trans people” that’s such bullshit that people keep spreading to make us, and our identities, look transphobic. sure, there are of course transphobic pan people who think because they’d ~date a trans person that makes them pan, JUST LIKE how there are bi people who say bi is men and women or even specifically cis men and women. those people exist and are transphobic and shitty, but they also don’t represent their entire communities. that’s not how it works. some pan people being transphobic doesn’t make the pan identity transphobic.

and I’m so TIRED of people making bold claims about how pan people other trans people, because like……bitch you don’t fucking know all of us. call out the people who do that and stop throwing those who don’t under the bus with them. you’re super right, in that these assholes refuse to listen to us because we shut down their already decided ignorant view that they’re trying pass off as facts. they don’t care about anything other hating on people, so of course they’ll ignore anyone pointing out that their “argument” has no fact to it.

it’s just shitty all around; accusing entire groups of being bigoted, saying identities are inherently bigoted, passing off misinformation and ignorance as facts, pitting identities/communities against each other, shitting on identities/communities because they aren’t the most known ones, and just being an asshole to people you’re supposed to be supporting. (don’t get me started on the claim that not identifying as bi is biphobic, because OH BOY that’s another level of complete bullshit.)

but yeah, pan people are super valid, as are all non-bi multi people. our reasons for identifying the way we do are valid and deserve respect and acknowledgment. we don’t have to identify as bi in order to get respect and acceptance from anyone. we are not biphobic for not being bi. our existence is not an attack on bisexuality. we’re valid and deserve to be here.

(also idk what you mean about the definition of bi saying “mainly including female and male” because the definition of bi is two or more and has been fore decades)

#asks #clownships #pan antagonism #omni antagonism #ply antagonism #long post

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meru90 · 7 years

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(different anon) i think it's less the length of time and more the stage of development that's being pointed out as an issue, like how 18 y/o are already adults and 15 y/o still kids- its like a college student dating a highschool sophmore. and even assuming that they're both liking each other, that still puts them on uneven ground in terms of maturity that can lead to a power imbalance, even if its unintentional

im posting some ask like this cause damn this uncererly expanded and i was ready for bed ; v;; you are all thinking way too much into this…

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i think what they mean is that otabek is 18, which is technically an adult. and so otayuri is kinda iffy because in a relationship between a 15 y/o and a 18 y/o theres a bit of a power imbalance which can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Anonym schrieb an meru90: (not the same anon but these are the reasons i can think of for people not liking otayuri) i think its more that (at least in the us) 18 is legally the age when one is an adult… and maybe because 3 years isnt a big difference in the long run but during the teen years esp, 3 years means a big gap in like mental and emotional maturity cause puberty

Anonym schrieb an meru90: BUB I DONT GET IT EITHER they just hugging they ain’t doing anything illegal but peeps still get a lil cranky even tho in some countries (I think Russia as well I could be wrong) the age of consent is 15-16. Their ship is honestly just two high schoolers dating which last time I checked is pretty gosh dang normal, unfortunately some folks only see the age gap and automatically assume it’s illegal. ANYWAY IVE BEEN BABBLIN I LOVE YOUR ART AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING EVERYTHING YOU LOVE peace out✌️

Anonym schrieb an meru90:it’s a big deal because there is a HUGE amount of maturization that goes on from being 15 to 18. yurio has even said it himself, his body has not developed yet. 18 is a legal adult, 15 is not even old enough to drive.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Throwing my 2 cents, but I find it rather uncomfortable considering that Yurio is literally a child and also very child-like in his behavior, especially compared to the older characters who despite their quirks have an air of maturity about them, so when there’s people shipping him with Otabek & JJ and whoever else in romantic and sexual manners, regardless of whether it’s fiction or not, it’s still a child being sexualised by older people which I find kind of disturbing.

I just don’t ship otayuri (sexually) ATM because while it’s only three years, Obatek is a legal adult and someone around fifteen… Of course once they are both adults you will need to pry the ship out of my cold dead hands. Anyway, that’s my personal opinion, but of course you can have yours

I’m not a passionate shipper of otayuri but honestly I don’t think age is much of a problem. It’s not like once you turn 18 you suddenly become an adult. legally you may be an adult, but that’s just for legal purposes. a 3-year age gap is still a 3-year age gap. It’s reasonably small. outside the fictional world though, its wiser to follow laws. that’s just my opinion!! (And what does the anon who unfollowed you mean by genderbends? i’m confused by that?)

Anonym schrieb an meru90:GIRL ITS FICTIONAL THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT not to mention i bet half of these ppl complaining ship kiyoyachi and yakulev guess what they have basically the same age gap so shame on uuu!!! (btw love u and ur art)

I don’t mind a gap difference of 3 years,people are claiming that this is a matter of maturity are quite weird because you’re certainly not mature enough in only 3 years. Anyways, my problem with you is that you think that because you have your opinion people should respect yours. They shouldn’t Socrate died because people thought everyone should have their opinion,nut it’s not necessary a good thing. There is bad opinions ! They aren’t all good

Hey what’s good? I just wanted to say do you, I personally don’t agree with the shippings for similar reason to the anons but at the end of the day it’s just a ship.I’ve seen lots of age diff relationships and life and some have turned out insanely well and others not so well,it all depends on the compatibility of them. I ignore it because it doesnt bother me so much? there’s so much more immoral to worry about than a 15 and an 28 y/o getting into a relationship. Have fun and stay awesome

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I don’t like to add to the pointless discussion but the people who complain about otayuri age difference probably still ship 1st year and 3rd year high school students. Who have the exact same age difference!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:lol die fighten jetzt echt wegen otayuri? sind doch nur irwie 3 jahre unterschied nicht??? so unnötig. Im laughing my ass off here wtfff

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i can’t stand the underage discourse at all, i’ve had to abandon a number of fandoms since the atmosphere was intolerable, bloodhounds ready to destroy and kill you over your personal fictional preferences. jfc let people enjoy whatever they want ugh

Anonym schrieb an meru90:don't listen to that bs >.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:bruh, some people get so offended by the smallest things. Like if you don't like, don't look it's as simple as that! Don't let these people stop you from drawing Otayuri cause honestly the way you draw them is lovely!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I think people are blowing this a bit out of proportion.. peeps need to chill out

Anonym schrieb an meru90:honestly people are being way to mean to you about what you want to draw if they are ganna talk shit to you then they should come off anonymous. your art is good and you should continue to draw what you want and just block the people who have a problem with it cuz people who are technically 18 still date like 16 year olds and such its called high school it happens

Anonym schrieb an meru90:genderbend isnt transphobic... i dont understand why its so wrong to imagine a character being a opposite gender i think its absolutely ridiculous my own community give hate or talk as if it is. its art. personally i just imagine genderbend in the spectrum of being opposite gender cis wise, or trans, or non binary. its a word and damn people are triggered its so dumb i really cant deal with tumblr and I'm sorry you get bombarded with hate honestly people take things too seriously lmao

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Honestly, just ignore all these people sending rude messages. It's a testament to their character that they'd criticise you for doing nothing wrong. 15 and 18 year-olds date all the time, and there's nothing wrong with shipping characters in a platonic friendship. Both Yurio and Otabek have strong, mature personalities - there's nothing about them that indicates anything bad or abusive would happen. I love your YOI art, so draw whatever makes you happiest, regardless of people with little minds❤

Anonym schrieb an meru90:IT IS NOT LIKE MERU IS DRAWING SMUT OR ANYTHING SEXUAL FOR GODS SAKE PLZ LEAVE MERU ALONE THE AGE DIFDERENCE IS WAY SMALLER THAN THE ONE BETWEEN VITOR AMD YURI AND NOBODY SAYS OTAYURI GET TOGETHER BEFORE YURI IS AN ADULT STFU HONESTLY

#and here i was wondering when i would get targeted for an issue like that #Anonymous #guess it was time xD #a #r

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antiquexbeast · 6 years

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once upon some basics

in response to ( this thing ) that i’m being yelled at about ( ???? )

because despite how obviously parody the video is, i’m sitting here realizing that i gotta explain why this isn’t “offensive” and “problematic” and is honestly more poking fun at weho stereotypes that, tbh, anyone who lives there has seen first hand.

for reference, i’m about three decades old, i’ve been too gay and ho to exist for most of my life, and weho has been where most of my existence has been when i’m not looking for bones and wearing as much lace and black as humanly physically possible in SoCal. all of the places in this video are places i frequently visit and party at.

lemme break this down:

lez be honest ( belle ):

-- is probably a closet gay -- might not even realize they’re gay -- legit doesn’t give a shit and just is out here to have fun and chillin -- trying their best an doin p well -- accidentally offensive -- kinda weird, is probably a nerd and into weird things, but you know she’s solid af -- you expected her to be a garbage ally, but is actually the coolest person you’ve ever met. -- is aggressively active about human rights and will either march with you or march for you -- is straight up oblivious ngl but she not a nancy so that’s gucci -- you crushed on her at least once because she’s good and got good hair don’t fuccin lie

gogo babies ( half naked dudes ): -- can only be found at The Club -- very greasy? sweaty? either way they glisten like greek gods under dancefloor neon lights are they even real? you literally only see them at The Club -- always naked except for thong undies -- and sneakers, for some reason??? -- are men of little words, but always seem to say enough to make you thirsty af athletic af, can bend in ways no normal gayboi can deal with ( that’s why we out here ) the more money you throw at them the sexier they get this is a fact about bards and gaybabies

thirsty clientele ( every single time you’re at the club ): -- ALWAYS creepin on gogo babies and... well.. literally anyone lbr -- will wait till you’ve had 7 shots of tequila then creep up on your ass from behind -- constant boner? or is it hands? either way it’s nopecity non-consensual and it’s time to flag down security -- they phase into the wall until you look at them and break their disguise and then you’re fuck’d -- honestly nothing about these guys are good they may as well be dementors -- can only be defeated by, literally, any charismatic gay who sees you in trouble and comes to your aid -- #there’s always a gay to protect you thankgod

shady gays ( dressed in black, shadin tf outta you on the street ): -- relentlessly savage af do not approach without a spine or being dead inside already -- regina george? guuuuurl don’t even play she ain’t even close to this -- will be precious to your face but knives at first base -- can automatically sense if you have knock off designer shit without even looking at it -- better not be wearin last summer’s jimmy choo’s or vera wang ‘cause you bout to be dragged -- will judge you on your love for betsey johnson, but seems to never be seen in public not wearing basic nu goth black ( ugh seriously? that’s soooo forever 21 ) -- vogue is basically their religion -- lady gaga may as well be their fashion inspiration, despite how impractical it is to wear 60% of runway designs -- will cry about anything, especially after drinking two wine coolers

adam and steve ( explanatory gays ) -- you watched Another Gay Movie and Will & Grace and now you get to meet this irl but x20 -- perfect skin and make up like how????? -- you haven’t seen anyone voguing since like 30 years ago but here it is -- rainbow paraphernalia, constantly, somehow -- the pose game here is rivaling JoJo, like you legit cannot compete you can’t even roll for dexterity here -- the actual personification of a unicorn, which is literally just a horse. because horses are extra af already so just glue a stick on they foreheads -- are always bottom. like don’t even suggest being top it’s not gonna happen -- drama... constantly... just.... nah

momma ( ru-paul. literally ) -- that is literally goddamn rupaul -- constantly busy and has zero time for normal conversations -- it’s like you forget ru is gay af and is close to LA and it makes sense to run into them here -- constantly ic lbr -- still manages to be that NPC that gives out real good advice -- is also that NPC you don’t expect to run into, like ever, so you better be ready for a wild adventure -- is your fuckin mom. not even drag mom, they’re you’re mom and is full of mom advice -- still problematic, but also still full of good mom shit

the queens ( of the stone age ) -- don’t even try they’re make up game is stronger than your lift game -- “this man looks better in a dress than i do” and that’s literally how it is just accept it -- are always chaotic fabulous -- will either be chill or problematic there’s no in between -- CONSTANTLY GOSSIPY -- drama? may have originated with them saying some shit while they were too drunk and forgot to not be a decent person -- might say accidentally transphobic shit, but depending on their alignment may actually correct their behavior

lost fitizen ( no homo-bro ) -- #loststraightboy, but lbr he already knows why he’s out here -- constantly nervous and suspicious -- can’t play it cool even if he tried -- is desperately trying to be as macho as possible, but you’ve caught him staring real hard at the gogo babies on more than one occasion -- may masquerade as the token straight garbage at the gay club tryin to feel up on ladies havin fun, but then gets real smooth when you cut in -- is a stoner? is drunk? you’re legit not sure he looks wildly startled, maybe he needs a nap or a snack ( #you #youarethesnack ) -- will offer to be your “work out buddy”............ you’re old enough to know what that shit means -- will either be a toxic fuckboi or your future respectful life partner there is no in between

haterade ( misc religious protestors ) -- srsl wtf r you don’t even go here -- will either be yelling aggressive random bible shit @ you or standing quietly looking dead inside because they’d rather be anywhere else but surrounded by naked gay men -- are literally everywhere, even at anime conventions like wtf -- maybe they need a fuckin nap or a nice salad? -- constantly contradicting their own dialogue when approached and questioned about their “beliefs” -- it’s literally the same people every year you wonder if they have lives or family

woke gaybabies ( literally every other normal gay ) -- blends in like spies or secret agents -- you can go years of your life without knowing they’re anything other than straight -- honestly just came out here to have fun, get some drinks, and cut loose for a night -- is probably your designated driver and suggests that you walk to the ihop a block away to get to food after you’re too drunk to function -- will ( reluctantly ) take care of your stupid drunk gay ass when you’ve had too much -- may be middle aged, but also has a fleeting hope they’ll find a nice person to talk to at the bar -- prefers OK Cupid to Tinder because the thirst difference between the two is too real -- has normal interests, is easily relatable, but are basically unicorns because their impossible to spot in the crowds of extras

the last lesbian alive ( is butch af ) -- in a sea of testosterone, you see a glimmer of estrogen somehow -- has she worn anything other than lumberjack print or doc martens? who honestly knows?? -- is probably more aggressive than your chihuahua do not engage her in a bar fight you will fuckin lose -- buzz cut, heavy set and is very passionate about fur babies and marching for human rights -- is straight up pissed off about the lack of women in weho to chill with like jfc? -- S&M. hands down. you better have the day off from work the next day cause you aint walkin straight the next mornin -- is basically a unicorn, lbr when was the last time you saw a fresh real lesbian in sausage fest weho -- will either be batshit or wholesome and good, there IS no in between gurlfrond -- will build you a house, but unlike your dad stuck in his shitty marriage, will actually fuckin do it, and it will be everything you ever hoped it would be

#{ out of the coffin }#lgbt #beauty and the beat boots #todrick hall #//i'm not responding to anyone about this list #//like these are literally people i've either met or fucked lol like?????#//like unless you live here the context of that video isn't gonna be very funny to you #//that is all goodnight ;;;#//mun is guilty of being an adam and steve and also momma ru sobs

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