#like im not ungrateful or anything but like i said in my last post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olderthannetfic · 2 years

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re: tone tags talk on here.

I have a rant thats been stewing awhile on the subject.

I would be really really careful using these for people and touting them as The Best Way to interact online and The Most Accessible for a few reasons:

People who are not in the know can become more confused, especially with the lesser-known or less obvious ones. It is forcing others to learn an entire new dialect, one they may not have the spoons or memory to use or understand properly. It can cause neurodivergent people MORE stress to have to use them.

Many neurodivergent people (such as myself) find them INCREDIBLY condescending when used on us for fairly obvious things (ex- I like your shirt! /gen looks like 'I think you are such a -insert slur- that you cant understand a statement where the default literal reading is fairly unambiguous, poor little baby cant handle it! Im such a disabled ally!'). This is less so with the original two tone tags /s and /j, but most tone tags have this problem.

Many neurodivergent people (also such as myself) find them to look suspicious like a bottle labeled 'THIS IS NOT POISON' being poured into our drink. It looks like a suspiciously specific denial and messes with paranoia. It also implies any time you say 'your shirt looks cool' without 5 tone tags proclaiming its base meaning of positive, genuine, and serious that when you usually make a statement like that it ISNT those things.

They are NOT screenreader friendly. At all.

People lie with them a lot, and some people have trauma regarding certain circles online using them to fuck with people. Literally just last week I found someone doing the /gen /srs thing with a question whos last post was to a cringe subreddit for the topic. They also view them as get out of jail free cards or ways to get people to farm 'cringe content'. Some of us arent going to trust that at all with VERY GOOD REASON and now the tag is useless.

Many tags have non-obvious meanings, /pos doesnt look like 'positive' it looks like 'piece of shit'.

ASL speakers are going to have a rough time learning tone tags because its more weird english slang no one explains.

Every time anyone criticizes tone tags (or even says so much as 'please dont use them for me its a trigger'), tone tag likers fly off the fucking handle(in my experience) and accuse you of being horrible and evil for not loving them to death, causing them to be associated with performative accommodations that dont do shit and people getting mad when you call them on it for some of us. Im not hyperactive in many spaces that use them and ive witnessed like 5 breakdowns in the past year alone of someone saying 'hey can you not use these for me please?' and the other person loosing it that the ungrateful disabled person wasnt bowing in awe over their wokeness for using them or whatever. Just complete all caps aggressive HOW DARE YOU and WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING RIGHT IM TRYING TO BE AN ALLY reassurement fishing and defensive 'I cant be ableist deliberately using tone tags on someone triggered by them, im doing the woke thing tiktok said so you are wrong' stuff.

What would be better to be done instead, in order of best to worse is;

Rephrase the statement/question to have the tone stated in there if the statement is not ruined by doing so. Unless you are working with a wordcount, this is accessible to the most amount of people because you dont need to learn a secret code and its fairly unambiguious and the least condescending and trap-like looking.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Genuine question, why do you have text describing images all over your blog?'

'Your artwork emotionally disembowels me /pos' -> 'Your artwork, and I mean this in the most positive of ways, emotionally disembowels me'

State the tone/meaning in FULL in parenthesis at the end. This makes it clearer what the tag is supposed to indicate to more people, it may still cause confusion however, trigger paranoia, or look condescending. Its more screenreader friendly, but less so than the above option. This works also for things that ruin the thing to interrupt the flow.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? (genuine question)'

'Because you are totally an anti /s', 'because you are totally an anti (sarcasm)'

Ask or look for indications that this person requires tonetags or uses them BEFORE using them and then respecting that choice. Has all the stated above issues, but at least consent for participating in this dialect was obtained. Checking if they need /pos, /srs, AND /gen tagged on on simple statement of 'your shirt looks cool' is very good.

Counterarguments:

'Im working on a short charactercount'

Not on every platform you arent! I concede this one on twitter, where you can barely fit a statement in there sometimes and you may not be able to threadtweet reasonably. But in spaces like tumblr where you have no charactercount? On discord where charactercount is so high and its a chatspace so you can just double message?

Also the 'ask before you use' or 'state in your hoverbio you use' is best practice.

Also also try emojis, which I didnt list previously but with some tones can make it more clear with only a few characters.

'It helps ME THE poster's anxiety/ADHD/etc to do this, I NEED to write like this, you are being ableist to stop me.'

Other options ALSO get the thing across for you! If rewording things to be clearest to everyone is way too hard for you, the FULL word in parenthesis is next best.

'I have a disability that makes typing hurt so I need to type as little as possible'

The third option is still available to you, but make sure to be clear that its not for the readers benefit you are doing this, but for you. This way people who need to avoid this can block you/not interact. Lean full chatspeak to help further (&, b4, 2, w/o, etc shortenings).

Also try emojis as above.

Competing access needs is a bitch, and that means we need to coexist, but (general)YOUR access need doesnt trump mine, so dont feel entitled to interacting with people who request no tone tag interaction. We just have to avoid each other.

For people who dont have the above problems just... PLEASE use plain text. Please. Its way more accessible to the most amount of people.

Yeah, for real.

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1800-page-not-found · 1 year

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“Love” - Diluc x Fem Reader Angst

Sorry for not posting for a while, life’s just been a bit hard these days. I suppose I’m putting my feelings into this oneshot as I’m writing. Hope you enjoy.

TW:emotional abuse, toxic relationship, suicide (hanging, drowning)

summary: did you really think a man like diluc would truly love you? You were a fool to think so.

When his father died, you were on his side. Making sure he always had a shoulder to cry on. You tried to mend the two brothers together. But i suppose this is all an arranged marriage can do. It was a foolish decision to ask if you could marry the heir of the Ragnvindr clan because you loved him. You were so…blinded by love. A one sided love story.

Here you were, crying. Alone in your bedroom, which you shared with Diluc. Yet he was nowhere to be found. Why? You were always there for him in is dark times. You did everything for your husband. So why couldn’t he do the same? You thought the two of you were on at least good terms…why?

Ah…perhaps you were now useless to him. You did after all get in a fight with your parents. All those years of pent up emotions…they all flowed out. Last night was so vivid.

-your pov-last night

“I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED ME TO DO. I MARRIED A GOOD MAN FOR YOU. I ACED ALL MY EXAMS. EVERYTHING. WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME?” I yelled at my father.

“ME? I GAVE YOU ALL THESE OPPORTUNITIES. YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT.” Why?..I never asked for this. I just-I just wanted to make you happy…

“THATS RIGHT. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY BACK BECAUSE IM RIGHT. I KNOW WHATS BEST FOR YOU [NAME].” My mother walks in. “Dear, let me talk to our daughter alright?” She said it in such a soft tone. Ah. But then father left the room. Mother glared at me.

“Archons, you cant ever do anything fucking right for once! Where did I go wrong huh? Is it my fault that you became like this? What did this mother do to have a failure as a daughter?” I remained silent. How could you? “You know what-I don’t care anymore! You are just like your father. I can’t deal with your shit anymore. I don’t care! I’ll disown you if I have to.” Ah. I see. You must hate me lots, right mother? Alright then. I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. You win.

-3rd pov-present time

you looked at the noose that laid in your room. Peace is so close…you walked slowly to your death. A step on the stool. You slowly rested your face onto it. It feels like…home.

the bedroom fire slammed open. “I’m home.” Diluc sighed, taking off his coat. He still didn’t notice what you were doing. And so you continued. Then you kicked the stool, letting it tighten around your neck like a scarf. “What the-“ diluc turned his head to the noise. His eyes widened as you were slowly dying. Why did you look so happy? He rushed to cut the noose. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW SELFISH THAT IS?”

…selfish? Right. That’s what you were. So fucking selfish. You looked at diluc, lifelessly. A red mark appeared onto your neck. Diluc sighed. He had no time for such nonsense. Ever since his father died, it was no longer the same. He became unable to love. You were merely a business transaction to gain power. “I do not have time for this [name]. If you’re going to act dramatic, do it in a different way. Just don’t taint the Ragnvindr name.” Right. It was always about the outside. But you were at your final straw.

“I’m tired diluc.”

“So? I’m also tired. Do you see me acting dramatically like you? What do you even commit to in this household? Stop acting like a child.”

“I don’t care anymore. I hate tou. I hate everyone and everything. I was a fool to love tou. You are unloveable diluc. No one will love you like I used to.”

he sighed. What kind of fucking nonsense were you spewing? “Whatever. Just do your part. Contribute to the family.”

right. Diluc Ragnvindr has no empathy for anyone. You walked past diluc, out to the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” He grabbed your hair and pulled back. You looked at him with tired eyes. “I don’t know. Alright? I’m nothing without you. Are you happy now? No-you know what? I want a divorce.” You walked away.

it wasn’t very far, but the pond (or river?) was so clear… you took a step in. The water was cold. But it felt soothing. Relaxed. Soon, the water was up to your shoulders, drowning your nightgown. Then you submerged your head.

deep and deeper you go. Down to the bottom of the pond. Death feels…nice.

-one week later-

[name’s] body was found dead, floating in the pond near the Dawn Winery. Diluc was…distraught. They only ever care when you’re gone. He could no longer focus on his work anymore. Your family…they didn’t care. You just became a liability. You no longer were an asset.

the traveler was traumatized. After all, they were the one to find your dead body. Hey! That’s alright! The traveler can do anything!

well, that’s what the people of mondstadt but look how you turned out. Aether was also loosing his “will”

-finished-

this was boring, the writing sucks too. My eyes are going to be puffy when I wake up…I hate crying.

#Diluc #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc ragnivindr x you #diluc ragnvindr #fem reader #angst #im going crazy #diluc x reader

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dearreader · 5 months

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latam swiftie here

I'm not on tik tok so idk what's going on there. The math side of the easter eggs has got a bit out of hand and they don'tknow what they're talking about. And I agree with you on "not needing an announcement to make it special". I feel this is kind of similar to when ppl complain about the surprise songs they got. I would have never chosen Labyrinth!! And I got it and loved every second of it!! It's special because it was my surprise song, not the other way around.

I didn't believe we'd get an announcement tonight until her dancers started posting black hearts. But my favourite thing would be for her to just play foolish one.

I'm super grateful for the shows, I got to see the mashup, it was insane and I loved every second of it. I had been waiting for over a decade for this so it meant everything to me. I am not expecting her to do anything other than show up at the announced time and perform (as long as weather and health allows her to).

I waited 3 years between 1989 and rep, im not expecting releases this often. No one was expecting 1989 tv right after speak now (I certainly wasn't expecting it until early next year the soonest). But she did announce it and it did happen. Thats just why it's not that crazy to think of an announcement this soon. It just hurts to see everyone calling us ungrateful. Over 17 years we only got 3 tour dates. And we're so so grateful for it, we tried to show her that with the "we will stay" fan project. I screamed so loud every single lyric I damaged my vocal chords and it took me a week to recover. People are still making edits, friendship bracelets, they're gathering in the parks and doing swiftie meetups, today I gave two fbs away on the subway!!

The reasons why I believe she won't come back are market-related and financial, but the whole T4F fiasco didn't help at all. The local producer (T4F) is responsible, not the stadium (Im saying this bc i saw this confusion a lot, here those are two different companies, I believe in the US it's the same one).

I understand and agree with what you said, I just want you to know we're very grateful for what we got. (and I didn't think you were rude). In all honestly, the feeling I got from everyone in that crowd was excitement and wanting to be a part of something this big. We didn't want to show anything other than support and love. I heard exactly 0 people complain we didn't get an announcement (but I'm not on tik tok so i might be wrong lol)

And no, we're not really a part of this whole thing the same way everyone (the US, Europe and even parts of Asia/Oceania) is. But I'm not gonna complain because at least we got tour dates. There are lots of places who got no tours dates at all (African swifties you're in my heart). I obviously understand she can't please the entire world and that there are financial decisions to be made!! She's a human and a business woman and I understand. But it does mean we get left aside (again! This is a world/capitalism problem where poorer countries get less chances in general and I'm not expecting Taylor to solve this).

Im sorry, this is so long. Im just trying to say that this is a reality (a sad one), that we understand it exceeds her 100%, and are grateful she toured this year. But that in the bigger picture, we're not a part of things like "the rest of you" and I believe thats where this whole rep tv thing is coming from. It doesn't mean we're not super grateful she took a chance on us and visited this year 😊

Thank you for reading and answering. I know you didn't have to. I really hope you enjoy the last show of 2023 :)

hi, please forgive me for a not good response as i’m tired and focusing on my breathing right now.

but thank you again for responding and explaining more about the financial aspect. and i’m so sorry if i ever implied latam swifties were ungrateful, i never meant to or ever thought that as everything i’ve seen has been nothing but overwhelming love and support from latam, and i really really hope she you’re there again because it’s clear the fans love her and i want her to just be able to be with fans and people who love the music. and the fact you guys are still doing friendship bracelet exchanges is insane and i love it!

and i do think she plans on releasing all of the taylor’s versions on the tour and she wanted to hit certain dates, which is why she announced speak now and 1989 so close together. i think we’ll get reputation sometimes early next year (late january or february ((but i think february is more accurate))) and debut a bit closer to the end of the tour.

and i’m not going and sit here and say you’re apart of this tour just as much as any other location is, because again i’m an american so no matter what i’m not going to understand what it’s like in latam. but i really hope it doesn’t feel like you’re apart if this differently than anyone else, this tour is a monumental moment in taylor’s life and career and the fact she’s able to go to so many locations (especially for the first time) is so massive and big in of itself. an album announcement is a special thing but it doesn’t make the tour or anything about the night any less special.

again, im sorry if this isn’t the best response, but i do hope that you have a good night 🫶🏻

#kelly babels #love letters #eras tour #the eras tour latam #reputation tv #anonymous

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glutenfree-rootbeer · 1 year

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Incoherent trauma journal dump on a shamed website? Incoherent rant journal dump shame post. Yep

Wow im so excited to get married except for the part where i told my brothers girlfriend that my partner was going to ask ‘the big question’ so she rushed and asked my brother ‘the big question’ and rushed a wedding that my mom gave $$$$ to fund and then my mom only uses monetary value to show love so she buys her a ring on behalf of my brother who tells her ‘no’ so she tries to second-hand pawn it off on my fiancé. AND THEN my mom has a bad time at my brothers wedding so she tells me that my wedding ‘isnt going to be about me’ because ‘shes paying, so she gets to do what she wants’ and doesn’t just hand me $$$$ like she did with my brother, or offer to buy anything i liked and insists where i will have my wedding and who is invited and how the wedding should go.

And and and just to add some manipulative white people from a well-off family shit into this, she helps said brother buy 2 houses (because he didnt like the first one) but she tells me to figure it out on my own. Now i dont expect anything but this starts to feel like we’re beating a dead horse. Who is the favorite child, i cant tell?

Anyways lol my neighbors car was/is up on cinderblocks this morning and all 4 tires are gone, 2 homeless people followed me home last month from my walk and im getting married at the court house because thats all i can afford rn and thats fine :) and ill still be considered the ungrateful child that said no to her generous offer.

‘Oh but you come from a family with money’ yeah doesnt mean when i turned 18 i got any benefits from it. The best benefit i got was being told by my mom to gtfo at 18 years old and not depend on her anymore.

#ill never forget she said ‘good luck because youre use to this lifestyle and now you cant have it’#like wtf is that seriously lol

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leetm · 4 years

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ok so. to go more in depth in comments LOL

#what's there for u at home besides ur dad.....#ive been down here for almost 4 months in georgia. def not happy 2 be here anymore #like im not ungrateful or anything but like i said in my last post #i feel like i cant talk to anyone thats back at home or anything bc she like. gets mad or wtv #just blows up n literally Explodes and it's draining and i'm looking for ways to get back #im not the same person i was when i was there and i don't like it #like i cant go back to her all i can do is be better . and ummmm yea #like... our convos r not the same whatsoever . and it's weird as hell #they're just so morally different n i dont want any parts of it like. At All #i just need to get back at home n she was my ride but nowwwww she's not going back #so im like 😐😐 nigga.... this is daunting #like! she claims she doesn't wanna keep me here but they also say stuff like. ?????#who CARES!#u mean my life my heart n my soul being at home? besides that? bye! 👋🏾#i'm sick......... it rly is weighing on me. HAHA losing my mind #it's sickening LOL..... i just wanna b back home already i'm just so 😐 abt going back on a plane. SIGH #n my sister seems so disinterested whenever i talk abt it like. she's blown up at me uhhh i wanna say the 2-3 times i've mentioned it?#and that's only in 4 months... i'm just still peeved abt the 'ok but what's there for u.' like #SJSNSM #sorry abt the beginning tags i meant that's what they say n it's frustrating lol #negative /#dl

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monaisdark · 3 years

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AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥

haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!

➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial

PART 1

Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.

He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.”

Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.

Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.

Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.

For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?

Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?

But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.

Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.

He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.

But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.

Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.

Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.

You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.

You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.

But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.

Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.

Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.

Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.

Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.

Though you had completely other plans.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.

“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.

They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.

Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.

Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.

“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.

“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.

“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.

“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?

“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.

After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.

Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.

“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.

“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.

“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.

“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.

“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.

Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.

Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”

“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.

“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”

Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”

You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”

Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.

Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.

He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.

Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.

Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.

He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?

As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.

You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”

He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.

Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”

You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.

Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.

“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.

Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.

When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.

He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.

You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.

Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”

“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”

Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.

You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.

Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.

Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.

He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.

“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.

“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”

“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”

Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.

You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”

Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.

Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.

“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.

Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.

Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.

“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.

“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.

He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.

The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck

#sub shigaraki #tomura shiragaki #dark fic #dom reader #dark #bully reader #fem reader #tw degradation #tw humiliation #tw mommy kink #bnha smut #bnha x reader #x reader #shigaraki x reader #mommy

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smallesttits · 3 years

Text

◇Horrible Liars finish last◇

Bored. So ima post this lol.

THAT ONE DUDE FROM GINNY AND GEORGIA HIS NAME WAS MARCUS I THINK LOL

Smut baby: smut.

°in this lil mf Ginny and her dramatic and ungrateful ass doesn't exist, you are the new and improved y/n°

If I'm being honest, I didnt finish this show sooooooo

I laid on my soft bed, bored as hell with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. I mean I guess I could go call max, but am I really in the mood to go hang out with a bunch of girls who do irresponsible things nonstop and think it's perfectly fine? Not really, no.

I pick up my phone and see a couple messages and snaps from group chats and hunter.

Jesus Christ hunter is annoying.

I sigh, throwing my phone back onto my bed and roll onto my stomach, pushing my face into the covers.

The window creeps open making me squeal in fright.

"relax, it's just me." Marcus silences me quickly.

"what are you doing??" I frown, getting up and walking over to the door on the opposite side of the room and locking it. Just in case you know?

"max is boring, and everyone else seems to have other plans. Came to see what you were up to." He answered, leaning against the wall beside the window.

"well as you can see I'm obviously doing nothing, so why don't you just get on your way and go annoy someone else." I roll my eyes, picking my phone up again and seeing more group chat texts and snaps from hunter. Again. Im this close to blocking this dude.

"Mhm.." he mumbles, sliding over near me while I snap hunter back, me holding up the middle finger and saying 'stop fucking snapping me boy'

He slides his hands down my waist, and nuzzles his head into my dry curls.

"Marcus what-"

"Just go with it babe," he grins Into my hair, now moving his hands to my leggings, and popping the elastic around my waist.

I gasped, and leaned my head back, on his chest as he continued to invade my pants.

"M-Marcus we shouldn't be doing this," I moan out when he goes under my underwear and starts to slightly massage my clit.

"Mhm, yeah. We shouldn't," he agreed smirking again, not stopping his slow movements. I arched my back against the bed, quietly moaning and shutting my legs around his hand. He grunts and pulls his hand away from my clit, now prying my legs open forcefully.

"Marcus wait-" I went to push him away, but he snatched off my leggings a once, snapping the small band of my underwear after. It tingled and burned, but the pleasure he soon gave me blocked it away.

His soft, drying lips connected to my clitoris, sucking it into his mouth quickly. My leg muscles tightened, and I reached down to pull at his long black hair. My phone starts to blare, and I whimper as I reach for it.

Expecting Marcus to stop his sucking, he never failed to. His finger came up to tap my excessively wet entrance, and I squirmed in his hold.

Hunter: hey, what are you up to?

Hunter: y/n?

Hunter: you usually answer fast.. am I interrupting something?

Hunter: ok sorry, I shouldn't accuse you of anything until we talk.

Hunter: y/n?

Hunter: I'm sorry, answer me please

Hunter: are you going to the sophomore sleepover?

3 notifications from Hunter🗣on snapchat

I groaned in annoyance, which quickly turned into a yelp of pleasure when Marcus shoved his finger deep into me.

"Aww, hunter spamming you again? Hm?" He asked rhetorically, knowing exactly what was going on.

I placed my phone down and rolled my eyes, just enjoying the feeling of him going down on me.

My phone blared once more, a phone call. I panicked, picking it up and immediately answering without checking the caller id.

"Y/n? Why arent you answering? What are you doing? I ask a-" hunter blew up, asking a million questions as she just listened and tried to let no sounds of pleasure out.

Marcus wouldnt stop, like his life depended on it.

Cutting hunter off, I said a quick and quiet hello, trying to think of a lie I could make up to not be suspicious.

"Answer my questions y/n. What are you doing?" He demanded. I whimpered, obviously not from his words. But from the sight in front of me as I sat perched on my elbows.

"I just woke u-up ok? My m-moms gonna kill me if she find o-out I'm on the phone t-this late! Sorry, i-i gotta g-go," I moaned the last part, as marcus' long finger jabbed my g-spot. Hanging up immediately, my head fell back as i moaned loudly, cumming on his face, fingers and my bed.

Falling almost limp, I beg for air as I stare at the ceiling. Marcus crawls up and on top on me, holding me to him before flipping so I was on top of him.

"Your a horrible liar, you know that right?" He sighed, bringing his fingers up to my mouth. He tapped them, making me suck my juices off of him. He grinned and licked his fingers after, reaching down to cradle my ass.

"What do you mean? I'm not a bad liar," I lied, looking at him.

"Its 7pm, y/n." He simply stated, laughing out.

Yall might hate me because this ain't my normal content butttt it was in my drafts for about 2 months so I mostly edited it and yeahhhh

Suck it up if you don't like it lol

LILY OUTTT LMFAOOO~

#marcus & max mondays #ginny and marcus #y/n x marcus #ginny baker #Ginny and Georgia #imagines #x y/n

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

Text

so this morning, while scrolling through my fb feed, i came across an nyt opinion/advice piece from a 27yo (ie basically me lmao) who is obviously lucky, in a sense, to finally land their “dream job using my (their) skills” etc. like obvs i can’t read it bc of the stupid “you get one free article a month if you either don’t have an account or subscription” (my one free article was used up reading an article about adult adhd like last week)….. thing that nyt does.

but anyway. back on topic lol. the crux of the article in both the headline and the quote snippet was that the advice asker was really dissatisfied with the 40 hour work week that came with her “dream job”. with how having this 40hr workweek gave her no time to do her busy chores like house cleaning or laundry or didn’t even give her time to let her have her hobbies/creative pursuits (whatever they were/are).

however, in the comments on the article (and apparently from those who read the article on the comments, the advice/opinion column writer) a good bunch of like gen Xer’s and baby boomers (im assuming) were ganging up on the asker like “suck it up princess, it’s what life is!!! i work 70+ hours a week and LOVE IT and have just resigned myself to the fact that i have NO time left over to do my “chores”! learn to O U T S O U R C E these life admin tasks to someone else!!! everyone MUST LEARN this in america!!! it makes life so much easier ☺️” and such.

of course, there were plenty of the same bs comments that you see on anything about careers or home ownership towards millennials/gen Z’ers about “learn to go WITHOUT and save save save and squander your time so that you NEVER live and HAVE FUN or TIME FOR HOBBIES! my bet is that your parents did that and they survived just fine while also raising your ungrateful spiteful ass (not including any type of health issues they might have picked up from such long hours/shitty working conditions) so why can’t you just L E A R N to do the same you precious spoilt brat!!! because the reality of Real Life™️ is that you can’t have it both ways!!! then you’ll have early retirement guaranteed, hopefully!!! and know that hobbies really are time wasters most of the time ☺️ or at least they were for me!!! and your precious so-called “creative pursuits” most definitely are time wasters. no one needs THOSE.” and so on so forth.

they also had jibes for her bc the asker wanted to start a family at some point apparently… and apparently it’s “much worse” once you have kids. like. thanks geraldine and henry. you’ve just told us how much you’ve resented having your kids/family in one fell swoop. your opinion which you’ve framed as unhelpful, condescending advice is now voided.

like. i don’t know how rhonda or paul or deandra or philip could miss the point so fucking entirely. why the fuck should anyone- nay everyone (bc that’s what they make it sound like)- learn to outsource their busy chores like laundry/house cleaning/grocery shopping or god knows what else- to someone else???? why is that apparently a standard expected to be learnt in the US???

like why the fuck are you so desperate for people not to have free time to do these things (unless of course they live in some of those shitty nyc or other big city apartment blocks that don’t come with individual private laundries in the self-contained flats or a communal laundry on like the bottom floor or w/e for example) frank????

deidre why the hell are you so bitterly hankering about “be grateful that you have it easier than most and learn that hobbies mean jackshit and just sell your soul and time to your boss!!! when will the generation stopping being “me me me!!!” and “work life balance!” and think about the company’s bottom line!! learn that “work life balance” is never important! work like a slave for 50 years and see if your valuable experience is needed then! that’s when you’ll learn that those hours where you were never being lazy, instead of just expecting life to be handed to you, will have paid off!” or whatever other ridiculously toxic capitalist bullshit they were spitting out.

obviously there were FAR MORE people actually supporting the question asker and echoing the idea that the 40hr workweek is now redundant. they were also putting down the opinion/advice piece writer’s advice to the asker….. that was apparently similar to the all the bitter people on the comments saying that the 27yo was just “asking for too much” and had to “learn to suck it up instead of being a petulant and overly selfish dick!!” etc etc etc. we all know the spiel as thoroughly as the macarena now.

because whats so fucking wrong with wanting time to yourself and wanting time to do your busy chores??? why the fuck should i be outsourcing these to other people (unless of course you’re still living at home and your parents are still like “hey what clothes do you need washed i’m doing a load rn” or you have a partner that works from home or has some type of parental leave etc)???? i want to do my own laundry. i want to do my own gardening (ok lawn mowing or tree lopping (if needed) i’d actually outsource bc i can’t lift or push lawn mowers bc they’re heavy af for me or and i obvs can’t use a chainsaw)… but i want to do my own grocery shopping. i want to do my own cooking (although i would consider the meal kit services once i had job that allowed me to afford like $50 a month for one of those meal kits sub services) i want to do my own cleaning.

why, if i lived in the US and not australia, am i just expected to learn to outsource all of these tasks even if i don’t have the money for it??? like why the actual fuck are so many of you so fucking weirdly proud of being absolutely worked into the fucking ground for your “great country” (although this is actually bleeding through to australia too and i hate it); working like literally close to 100 hours a week???

because i wasn’t aware you had to be whatever the fuck his name is from 127 hours and cut your fucking limbs off just to fucking survive a job in either corporate america or just let alone any goddamned job in america….. all so they can supposedly “learn to like working for free and devaluing your worth even more to your employer through overworking yourself and always being available!!! mental health is for those who aren’t built for the Real Adult World™️!!! this person is a prime example of the younger generations being weak and dissatisfied with life so often because of their “oh poor little me!!! care for me!!” act. NO ONE CARES FOR YOU today. stop being so over-expectant/demanding and juvenile!!! only YOU care yourself and you should NEVER expect someone else to pick you up from YOUR bootstraps!!! you’re fucking whiny and conceited babies. the lot of you!!!”

because i honestly don’t know who the fuck would enjoy working 70+ hours week with no time to themselves to do what they enjoy doing…. or enjoy having zilch time to catch up on errands and life admin duties or just general house chores; especially if you’ve moved cities or an entire fucking state/s away from your family and support network. let alone doing the same thing on 40 hours a week.

and on top of everything, let’s not even get started on the time spent commuting to and from work or even commuting for life errands/tasks etc etc- especially if you’re like me and you’re nowhere near the capital city’s centre (ie sydney australia for me) for there to be reliable enough public transport and longer commute times to certain places in those cities (that i’ve bitched about plenty before on other posts on here about work/jobs).

get your head out of your asses warren and viola et al and realise that work life balance is literally NOT ASKING FOR MUCH and is asking employers to just have basic respect for their employees time if they work fulltime. it’s literally detrimental to ones health if they have to sacrifice what feels like (or what is literally like) their entire fucking existence to their employer just for meagre pay and just to fucking survive.

because i read a heart-breaking article last night from huffpost (posted by buzzfeed on fb) about a woman in the US who literally hid her having a second baby from her employer for an entire fucking year (literally the entire pregnancy and birth of the baby and the first 6 months post pushing the baby out) during the pandemic all because she was scared she would get demoted or lose her leading of a project and lose her bs “temp” job which had really turned into full time work although the employer never said anything about it being actually full time hours or whatever…. and plus the lady herself was apparently to scared to ask to be put on the books fulltime too for some weird reason.

like honestly. fuck capitalism. fuck thinking that “work life balance is just too hard for employers to add and regulate. it’s an excuse and ploy for workers to be unprofessional, unproductive and lazy!” or whatever the fuck. everyone deserves time to themselves to pursue their interests/hobbies and busy chores/life admin. no one deserves to waste their entire life working 70+ work weeks for those employers who literally have no respect for their employees personal lives and time.

and particularly during the time that is the pandemic as we’ve seen so many companies having to learn to wholeheartedly embrace working from home and more flexible schedules for their workers. worklife balance is absolutely fucking beneficial for everyone involved.

america fix your bullshit work ethic right now lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona’s job hunting thoughts and woes lmao

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redcolored · 3 years

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hey besties! im cc and im ecstatic 2 be here. this is the dumbest bitch alive, cherry and i’m so excited to write them again as they’re a bit of a revamp <3 as a psa, i have their career claim as paris hilton n it’s mostly just her silly memes n early 2000s attitude vs her actual reality show! anywho, pls like this for plots <3

˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀ ROH JISUN . DEMI GIRL . THEY/SHE ⧽ ⠀ have you seen the 786 latest post ? sources say they have some serious dirt on the child of a big time OIL EMPIRE HEIR AND HIGH PROFILE SOCIALITE . they haven’t revealed who it was yet but my best is on RI CHAE - WON ! ever since that last update about how they BROKE UP A ROYAL ENGAGEMENT ( ‘ ON ACCIDENT ‘ ) . i don’t put anything pass them . i mean , these celebrity kids are just out of control . they do whatever they want , whenever they want and are ungrateful in the process !! i mean take CHERRY for example , they’re a TWENTY - THREE year old SOCIALITE , and what did they do to get there ? have famous parents ! like hello , just because you BECAME THE ( SECOND ) MOST FOLLOWED PERSON ON INSTAGRAM doesn’t mean you actually deserved it . i’m glad the 786 is taking them down a notch . it’s about time someone does .

full name . ri chae-won alias(es) + nickname(s) + title(s) . cherry ( derived from being called chae ri during childhood ), dumb bitch ( lovingly ), instagram user cherryzooted, preferred name . cherry age + dob . twenty - three, july 1 natal chart . cancer sun, cancer moon, cancer rising . so ... good luck gender + pronouns . demi girl + they / them / she / her orientation . graysexual + grayromantic birth place . seoul, south korea hometown . silicon valley language(s) spoken . in order of fluency: korean, japanese, english, french – conversational dutch + mandarin accent . 100% valley girl accent, plays it up these days, but normally just sounds californian occupation . full time hot girl, full time story updater, full time responsibility avoider, full time twitter personality, undercover heiress trying to girlboss her way to a ceo position parallels . karen smith ( mean girls ), brittany s pierce ( glee ), on the flip side: ransom drysdale ( knives out – in the ... two faced way, not the murderous way ahaha ), fallon carrington ( dynasty ),

they are old money, truly. their mother is a high profile socialite who comes from an enterprising family ( think, owns ivy league university enterprising and has stakes in every field imaginable ) while their father is an oil empire heir. of course, her parents got married for money and for reputation – and in their wildest dreams, had one (1) child that they hoped would be an heir to their titles.

except, their child was cherry and she’s the “dumbest bitch alive”. cherry was born on the first of july and had a platinum spoon in their mouth from the very first laugh they gave. cherry was really given everything from the moment she was born to this very day – private tutors ( all who quit, thanks to her ), private chefs, nannies, trainers, anything that she could want, she got.

so, a bit of a spoiled brat and actually, not as dumb as she’d like the world to believe she is. quite an unfound genius, but as a teenager, started to go viral on early tumblr and instagram and even vine due to a certain image. it started honestly as a joke where she would pretend to ask questions that are so absurd just to see how people would respond, but as the early internet is – they took her seriously. so, she just ... kept up with it.

to this day, their social media is mostly one big satirical account, but since they’ve been doing it for so long, people just go along with it. in reality, they’re a lot more cunning than people think and definitely getting ready to succeed the company from their parents ( after all, they just got a masters degree from princeton – which made her instagram followers kind of confused but they just said that they were in a silly goofy mood and shouted out their favorite tutors ).

her cunningness is the reason why she accidentally broke up a royal engagement. the story goes: cherry uploaded an instagram story where a certain royal prince was spotted in the background, half naked on their bed. they said oopsy - daisies and then put it as a highlight on their instagram for like forty - eight hours before saying oh my word! and deleting it. apologized profusely after the engagement was called off and then went on twitter to say my bad.

anyway, current day, is enjoying the last few year(s) of their socialite life, continuing to push an image that gets them the most traction and engagement online to really bump up their image n views before they ultimately retire from social media to become an oil empire + clean energy + university heiress. if this doesn’t make sense, idk either.

personality wise . i feel like it’s absolutely no secret to the inner circle that they’re not as ditzy as they seem irl. they can definitely be more than catty and very aggressive aggressive to get what they want – as they fail to ever beat around the bush. an absolute villain, cherry knows what she wants ( an empire ) and really has no trouble stepping on people to get there. that being said, even if they’re a bit of a villainess, fails to ever find the heart in being catty and mean to people who don’t deserve it – i.e. the kind and the good. anyway idk what i’m writing i’m delirious.

wanted connections include . unholy trinity ( open to 2 ), academic rivals ( if they ever attended school together or uni – she went to brown undergrad + princeton for grad school ), pr friends / relationships, someone constantly featured on her instagram, fake enemies on social media, somebody they surpassed on instagram in followers and then tagged them n said “haha im sorry <3″ on their story, (future) business partners / associates ( in secret though because rn she’s still “not an heiress” ).

#786intro #this is short n puny but im also short n puny so its fair

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uhhhhyandere · 4 years

Note

I love, love, love you ❤️ I was hoping I could request where the main character begs for Yandere Light to let her get a doggo bc she’s so lonely since he made her quit a job. Like full on having a full ass fit. I’m talking full blown brat shit. Just how he would react and what she would have to do to convince him if you catch that drift 😏😉

yeah, i know what i said in my last post. whatever. never believe anything that comes out of my stupid mouth i am the single biggest sob in the universe.

um… i took this in a… direction to say the least. someone has to stop me from riding suck n’ ride smut bc… it always goes like this.

next light smut there is going to be ass-eating or i swear to god my name isn’t kerry literally all im thinking about is giving him a rimjob. really. this is where we are at folks.

warnings: smut, face fucking (oops), dick sucking, sex, rough sex. he not happy boi

word count: 3.5k

All you did was watch dog videos anymore. Of course, you watched them because you literally had little else to do during the day, but you just… happened to be more open about it when Light came through the door. Did it have anything to do with the fact you’ve been thinking about getting a furry friend to keep you company from the silence of an empty house and the dark recesses of your mind?

No, of course not. It had nothing at all to do with it, and it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that if you ask him directly, he would say no before any more words could breach the air. You would have to be creative, because when Light said “no,” there was no more argument, and you wanted this argument.

“A Pug. Wow. Beautiful.”

“Look, it’s a—it’s a Corgi. Oh my—wow. That’s amazing.”

You’d play around with different sizes.

“This Mastiff? This gentle giant? Can do nothing wrong.”

“This Bichon matches with the snow!”

And you’d talk about listings you just happened to see online from the local shelters.

“This one—wow. All of her shots. She looks so nice. Oh, and potty trained! What a girl. Damn.”

“He’s sitting down—oh a paw. I see a paw. Can he do the other paw? Oh, yes he can. Also has all his shots. Wonderful.”

Considering the man you lived with, you were pretty positive that he figured out your intentions day one or day two max. It’s been about a week since you’ve been… outgoing in your interest. At this point, it was a game as to who would break first. You bet he was waiting for you to get annoyed with his ignoring of anything you said related to the subject with how blatant he was with shirking you off, forcing you to simply ask.

You weren’t going to make it so easy on him. Though he happened to be the king of hiding his emotions, you knew you had to be getting to him. Light would never admit it, and he would certainly never show it. He wanted to keep that satisfaction as far away from you as possible.

So, you turned up the heat.

Before, you would break off the dog topic after a time, wanting to etch it in your daily schedule only bits at a time. Now? It’s the only thing you talk about, no matter the actual subject at hand.

“There’s another event we have to—.”

“The animal shelter is having an event in the park next week for adoptions.”

“I’m going to have to go for groceries soon.”

“Look at this weenie dog dressed in a weenie costume.”

“I—.”

“Doggo cute.”

It was only a matter of time until—.

“This French Bulldog is—.”

“Y/N.” His voice was clear, demanding. Even after all this time, like a teacher scolding elementary students, it immediately brought you to silence. You sat on your shared bed, legs crossed, as he leered down at you from the bathroom. “I would say it was cute at first, but you know it’s a waste of time to try asking anything indirectly. As if I would succumb to your manipulation, but I let you carry on. You would get bored. You would stop and think and realize that it was pointless to keep it up, but you persisted. I thought to myself maybe you were just trying to see if I would crack and give you the satisfaction of indulging in your antics, and I was right.

“It begs the question. Why didn’t you just ask directly? Easy. Because I would say no, and you would be correct. To allow something else besides me your devotion? Not likely. But what? Did you think showing me videos of Shibu Inus and Pomeranians would make me want one first? You have the logic of a six-year-old, Y/N,” Light began to unbutton his shirt, “Did you honestly think it would work? Or did you simply want to get a rise out of me?” He removed the shirt entirely, then lifted his undershirt over his head just as easily. Light tossed the fabric into the hamper, leaving a pale, lithe abdomen on display. He turned to fully face you and took two easy steps forward. “Why would you want one in the first place? Have I not given my fiancée enough attention recently? Is this your way of getting back at me, hm?”

You were almost at an even height to his belt buckle, but you did your best to ignore that as his eyes demanded attention upwards. His gaze was near malicious, but not quite so. Ah. Lascivious. That’s what they were. You swallowed the knot out of your throat.

“Y-you wish.”

“Your hesitation is very resounding. Then, if you’re so sure, indulge me. Don’t tell me you wanted a distraction from your loving husband-to-be. I know you didn’t want something else to focus on besides me when I’m away at work, so tell me. Tell me why you desired a filthy, shedding ball of fur. Your answer may earn you some mercy.”

You unfolded your legs from underneath you as your foot began to numb under the weight of your leg. Your hands glided back and forth on your thighs. Was there a point in lying? No, scratch that. Was there a point in lying to someone who already knew the truth? Well, his own truth that Light would undoubtedly make yours. There was little purpose in making it worse on yourself.

“No, you’re—uh—right.” Light set his hands on his hips.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m just… lonely when you’re at work. So… yeah.” You risked a peek upwards. Oh, geez the smirk on that fucker. “I’m sorry.” His arms rose from his hips to cross over his chest.

“For?”

“Huh?”

“What are you sorry for? Annoying me for days with your drivel? Wanting a mutt? Lying?” You furrowed your brows. “Oh, that one confused you, hm? Alright, well, if you won’t admit it, I can do it for you. Lonely-“ he scoffed- “You can’t be serious. Such a blatant lie from your lips. The second time you are insulting my intelligence. I’ll ask one more time. Where does your motivation lie?”

“I’m not lying!” You hissed, jumping off the mattress to stand. “What—just what am I supposed to do all day cooped up in this place like a goddamned prisoner? Clean? The place is clean. Cook? As if you’d even let me try. Watch TV? My brain is rotting. You don’t even let me help kids with math anymore online. Just what am I to do? Next thing I may just throw myself out the window—,” Hands gripped your shoulders, causing a slight pain at the intensity.

“You think I’d let you? I expect you to stay here and be good and thankful that you are where you are. I, just as much as you, know—knew women who died to be in your shoes, and you’re ungrateful to be alive and safe? You want more?” You tried to shrug out of his grip, and he allowed you to take the steps away from him.

“I’m asking to be a human being, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to sit here and go crazy. Isn’t it enough that I don’t fuck with the rules anymore? I’m quiet. I don’t say anything. I put every façade you ask me to. All I want is something for me! Something to distract me from literally going insane here! To distract me from everything.”

Light’s eyes sometimes spoke more truth than his mouth ever could. Right about now, the browns were all-consuming, aflame with ire, but his lips were upturned in a challenge.

“A distraction. Caught in a lie, Y/N. Bad form, even for you. After all this time, you still can’t face reality, dearest. I knew you’ve been pitting your mind in some gutter you call the truth. Makes this all easier to accept, but to go to the physical extent? I won’t allow it, and you won’t be able to recess your mind for long, so enjoy that pleasure while you can.” He paused, countenance recessing to something more composed. “You love me, don’t you, Y/N?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, no lie in that affirmation. It was the easiest of his questions to answer. “I love you.” Light inhaled deeply, chest flexing with the exhale.

“With love comes compromise, correct?” You responded with a glare. His tone was all too insinuating. “So, let’s compromise, yes? I hate arguing with you.” He reached an arm out, hand open. Your eyes glanced between the extended limb and his eyes before cautiously taking it. His hand squeezed and pulled you in tight. Light twisted and adjusted you so when he fell onto the bed, you landed comfortably on his lap. Releasing your hand, he brought his own up to gingerly glide his fingers across your cheek, a trail of bumps in its wake as it curled into your locks. Almost like a lover. Almost.

His fingers seized the strands and pulled, forcing your head back and opening your neck for his mouth to latch. “Then compromise, dearest. Prove to me what you think you deserve.” He spoke against your skin, open-mouth kisses with a hint of teeth between his words. “And I’ll make judgement.” His hand let go of your hair and traced to the back of your skull to slant your lips onto his impatient ones. The other wrapped itself to pull your body closer until he pushed you off with an unexpected force, almost knocking you to the ground.

From the unbalanced position, you watched him adjust his position to lie in the center of the bed, head angled to watch you from the pillows with both his hands as another cushion for his crown. Light smirked, watching you stand straight. “Well, go on. Compromise.”

Light was never on the bottom. It was non-negotiable. Being anything else was utterly unacceptable for a god. This situation, despite the physical placement of both bodies, was no different. You may be the one crawling on top of him, fiddling with his belt buckle, but he had every bit of this situation in his control. Under his watchful gaze, you removed the strip of leather and threw it across the room.

“You’re going to have to help me here,” you muttered after undoing the fly. Wordlessly, he obliged, allowing you to slip the trousers off of his person. You glanced at his feet. Thank god he took his shoes off already, so he only lied in his boxers.

No, you would never be accustomed to this.

“You always look like it’s your first time,” he remarked. “As if you haven’t seen my cock before. From my recollection, you should be quite familiar with it by now.” You inhaled sharply. “Unless you don’t want to compro—.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, crawling to straddle his legs. “Just be quiet,” you said more quietly. You reached out to rub the only half-erect cock through the fabric. Only small groans were elicited above you. Light was not a noisy one, to say the least. It took your first, painful, terrible experience of deep-throating to even get him to moan fully.

“Do you think teasing is going to get you anywhere?” His voice is always composed during sex, and it really was alarming because… you really couldn’t relate. You glowered, fingers digging under the waistband and pulling. He helped again, lifting so you can get the fabric off. “If you think you’re doing anything fully clothed, I should take a cold shower.”

You made quick work of taking the layers of comfort clothes you had on, off. “You really know how to put on a show,” he deadpanned.

“Shut. Up.” You returned to your position, seeing his cock now fully erect from your previous work. You were sure you were wet, but you ignored it as best you could. You had a feeling you would not be serviced tonight. Before you can even lean down, he spoke again.

“Beg for it. Beg for the honor of sucking my cock. Convince me you deserve it if you believe you are so entitled.” There was not a single physical restriction to keep you from taking it into your mouth, but his words were powerful enough to keep you still. Light was daring you to try and misbehave, and you really couldn’t help the physical reaction his words always do to you.

“Please—,”

“Pathetic. I can have any girl in my bed. I can stick my cock in any person interested, and here you are, an ungrateful brat who wants more. You’re making quite an unremarkable argument for yourself. Perhaps I will take away—.”

“Please, Light. Allow me the honor of sucking your cock, of you fucking my throat. I want the privilege of swallowing your seed. Fuck—please. I’ll do anything.” You leaned down close, but not touching anything. You only lifted your eyes up to his. “Please. I know I’ve been bad. Please, let me make up for it.”

Your words in bed were always forced. He knew you hated dirty talk as much as you did, therefore he always made you speak, always made you confess how much you craved him, wanted him, and whenever you spoke it was hardly ever in lies. Your embarrassment was too prominent in your body language to tell him otherwise.

“Go on, then. Show me.” You licked up his length first, then around the head and back down. “Teasing will get you nowhere,” he repeated. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and took him in, inch by inch. Light was incredibly average despite his ego. It wasn’t impossible to fit the entire length into your mouth with slow adjustment, but that didn’t mean it was fun. You would continue to work his length, getting more and less intense with your pressure and the speed your head bobbed. Still, there was little reaction from him, not there really never was any mind the grunts you could make out. Your inclinations to keep going, and you did until you pulled back.

“How’s—,” His hand was at the back of your head immediately, forcing your head back down, pushing his cock down your throat, pushing until you could feel his balls against your chin. No hair. He was pristine down there. You convulsed, gagged, choked, but he did not release his grip. Hand keeping its hold, he dragged your head up just a hair enough to thrust upwards. Water began to pool at the waterline of your eyes. You had to relax your throat, or this was going to be just worse.

But it was hard, so hard at the pace he was thrusting at. You squeezed your eyes shut and took it the best you can. Listening to his quiet grunts and groans, you forced your lips to continue covering your teeth, but you could not force your throat to loosen. Drool pooled at both sides of your mouth, carelessly falling into both him and the sheets along with the liquid of your tears.

“Your throat is so fucking tight. That’s it. Choke on my cock. This is what your dirty mouth deserves.” Your limited experience could be to blame for its restricting. That, or the selfishness of the man whose grip on your hair tightened even more right before he allowed you to breathe once more.

And breath you did. Gasping, reeling for air as drool continued to leak down. From beneath your hair, you looked at Light, his eyes wild and alive with lust. Small heaves from his smiling mouth mixed with your wet and heavy ones. “Do you think you deserved that, dearest?” You finally wiped your mouth and shook the spit from your arm. “You’re lucky I am so generous. Come. For doing such a decent job.” His hands patted his hips. Swollen eyes met his. “Ride me, before I change my mind and fuck you into the mattress.”

Regaining some semblance of control, you moved to straddle his length. “Oh, your pussy is glistening. Did me fucking your throat really do that much to you? You loved to be controlled, don’t you?” You did not answer, shaky hands guiding his cock so you can sink onto it. You groaned at the feeling. “Tell me how good it makes you feel. How only I can make you feel like this.” You bit your lip, sinking down another inch or so.

“God, Light. Your cock feels so good. Only yours can make me feel like this. No one—no man, no woman, no person—can make me feel anything—like—this—fuck!” You sunk down to the hilt before you lifted yourself again, easing yourself up and down his length. “It’s so good—so good.” Light allowed you more time but decided your gentle pace was not enough to soothe him. He roughly grabbed you and flipped your positions.

“Too slow, Y/N. What did I say about teasing?” He brought his hips back and then snapped them into yours. You screamed, and you wondered if the neighbors would call again, but his pace did not relent.

“Light—please. It’s too—too much! It’s too fast. I can’t…” He smiled, a wicked grin over you.

“And you won’t. Don’t you dare think about cumming. I decided you don’t deserve it. This is your compromise. You get to live, marry, and get fucked by me, and only by me, and I will only have eyes for you. You’ll never feel like you need a… distraction again.” You clenched your teeth and pushed your head farther into the pillows. “I feel you clenching onto me. Don’t you dare think about disobeying me.” His thrusts were even, balanced.

“Please, please, please let me cum. It feels too good. You feel too good. I’ll do anything.”

“Then don’t cum.” You threw your hands back and gripped the headboard, feeling it rock in rhythm to his thrusts. They were beginning to become, sloppy, wild, he was close while you were holding back for dear life. “Y/N. You are mine and mine alone. Your body. Your actions. Your mind. I am the only thing you are allowed to think about.” With one final push, his seed released, filling and coating your insides. He rode it out, making sure every drop stayed. He hated to have to wash the sheets after, though your drool stains remained.

Pulling out, he retreated and stood, ignoring your writing, unfulfilled form. “Come. You aren’t going to sleep like—get those hands away from there. Let’s get you clean before you ruin the sheets even more.” Like before, he extended his hand to your heaving form. “Alright, alright, I’ll take care of you, but you need to get cleaned up first.” An unstable hand fit into his own. His gently pulled you to stand and allowed you to lean your weight onto his.

Hot water cascaded down your body. Though Light effortlessly scrubbed washed his hair, you could not bring yourself to match his speed, and by the time he was already done, you hadn’t even washed your body yet. You heard an incomprehensible mutter amidst the running water as he left you alone. He was washing his face as you finally emerged, wrapped in your towel. No romance tonight, you figured. Not that it was any different than any other night. You followed, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and taking your pills while he huddled in bed.

You could only dream of romance anymore. Getting your pajamas on, you approached the empty side of the bed. Before you could get on, Light shifted, opening his arms and staring at you expectantly. You froze. Did… did he want…? “Well, come on.” Ah. Was this supposed to be the ‘I’ll take care of you,’ he mentioned earlier? You supposed he would never wash you in the shower, so this would have to be it. You swallowed and fell into them, feeling his arm wrap you close to him so you lied nearly on your stomach, face buried in the crook between his neck and shoulders. His arm lied around your neck, the other near your elbow on the arm that sprawled on his chest. Oh, hello? What is this?

Ah. This is the quote-on-quote, attention he promised as a fiancé. His eyes remained closed as you stared. How forced was this? You wondered if he hated it, if he saw it was succumbing to your wishes, but it was unlikely. Perhaps it was him showing the physical love outside of sex that you lacked thinking it would keep you from having another outburst as you did before. Him keeping his side of the compromise so you would keep yours.

You allowed yourself to close your eyes before you thought too hard about his actions. The more you thought about it, the more—and less—real it all became, but if he was offering more conventional couple things: cuddling, dates, attention, you would not pose another argument.

“So, no dog?” you whispered.

#yandere light yagami #yandere light yagami x reader #yandere death note #light yagami x reader #reader insert #yandere reader insert #yandere x you #yandere x reader #uh oh spaghettio #tw: yandere #tw yandere

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dessarious · 4 years

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Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt84

Sorry for the erratic updates. The heats been making it near impossible to think about anything besides ice cream and sleep. :) Stress at work isn’t helping either but hopefully things will calm down soon.

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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As they neared the front of the bakery Damian heard shouting. He shared a look with Luka as Drake continued ahead of them. He knew that voice. He’d been on the receiving end of it a couple times at this point. He had to wonder who was the current target of Sabine Cheng’s wrath. When Drake opened the door, Damian realized she was yelling in Mandrin but it was a dialect he wasn’t familiar with so he could only make out parts of it. The word ‘ungrateful’ made an appearance more than once.

Of all the things he’d expected, Sabine yelling at Marinette while Chloe was practically crawling into the wall to stay out of it wasn’t it. Normally she’d be going into protection mode. When he opened his mouth to interrupt Chloe shook her head violently at him. Marinette had her head down but he could still see part of her expression. She didn’t look scared or worried, more resigned. Chloe motioned them over to where she was, and Sabine didn’t even acknowledge their existence.

“What’s going on?” Drake’s soft question caused Chloe’s eye to twitch.

“Mari poked a sleeping bear and is reaping the rewards. Trust me, no one wants to get in the middle. It’ll just prolong the attack and possibly get you banned from the bakery for an indeterminate amount of time.” She kept her voice quiet and moved her mouth as little as possible. It was obvious she was trying to follow her own advice. Luka just nodded and leaned against the wall to observe. Drake still seemed torn so Damian decided to distract him.

“Why don’t you check over the chair while we wait?” Damian smirked at how quickly Drake jumped on the excuse to not help Marinette. The smirk disappeared when Sabine’s gaze came too close to him. The woman was terrifying and he still had no idea why. He noticed the four new Kwami standing on the other side of the room all looking at the woman in varying forms of awe. He had to wonder if it was because they could understand her or just the fact that she was yelling at the Guardian. Either way, the fact that none of them or Tikki were interfering was a bit telling.

“So do I want to know what triggered this so I can avoid a similar fate?” Chloe rolled her eyes at him.

“Trust me you do not know that woman well enough to cause that reaction. I honestly don’t know what Mari was thinking. I think her frustration at everything is finally surfacing.” Damian frowned as he considered that. Marinette had been extremely upbeat, which wasn’t unusual for her but he hadn’t really thought about the fact that he hadn’t seen her crack. At all. He just assumed she still didn’t feel comfortable being that vulnerable around him. He’d never considered she was keeping up a front in front of everyone still.

“Has she reacted at all?” Chloe let out a deep sigh and he saw what looked like guilt in her expression.

“Not in a way that matters. She’s too busy comforting all of us to have the breakdown she needs.” That certainly sounded like Marinette.

“Not everyone has a full scale breakdown you know.” Chloe just let out a sigh and began rubbing one of her temples.

“She hasn’t cried. She hasn’t gotten angry. She hasn’t talked about how this has affected her or made her feel. She’s been so busy trying to make sure the fallout from Hawkmoth is being taken care of, dealing with the Justice League, and keeping me calm she hasn’t been able to concentrate on herself at all. Add that to the fact that she’s been repressing her emotions for the last two years because the consequences if she didn’t were possibly world ending and it’s a solid bet that when the dam bursts, it’s going to be brutal.”

Damian could only give a non committal hum. Marinette didn’t seem like the type to just have a meltdown but Chloe had known her a lot longer. For all he knew she could have been an emotional wreck before Hawkmoth entered the scene. The way she’d allowed Lila to just destroy her civilian life said that she clearly valued others over herself and given the stories he’d heard about her from before that it had nothing to do with her being Ladybug. She would take care of everyone else and neglect herself and that could easily lead to what Chloe was worried about.

“It’s not just you that she’s keeping calm you know. The only one of us that she hasn’t been careful around to a rather extreme degree is Drake. She’s even been keeping Luka at arms length and that doesn’t normally happen. She feels that we’re all her responsibility so it’s not specifically your fault that she won’t let herself grieve.” Damian saw Luka wince out of the corner of his eye. They’d talked about this but apparently he wasn’t supposed to mention it to other people. Chloe looked like she’d been slapped.

“He’s not saying you’re any less important to Mari. Just that you’re not the only one adding to her stress. You’re the one that’s doing the most to ease her transition and the one she’ll eventually open up to. You’re her center.” Luka’s words didn’t really make sense to Damian, or rather he seemed to be talking on more than one level. Chloe’s tension eased dramatically though, so it was obvious she understood what he meant.

“It just feels like she’s locking more and more away. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help.” Her voice was filled with frustration. Damian had a feeling that Marinette wasn’t the only one repressing feelings.

“Maybe if you’re honest with her she’ll be honest with you.” Drake and Luka both glared at him but Chloe was frowning to herself in thought.

“I don’t just want to become even more of a problem for her. She needs to feel safe to let go. She won’t do that if she’s worried about me.” Luka sighed and hesitated before responding.

“Damian has a point. She’ll feel safer if she knows that any outburst from her won’t be harder on you. You’re both protecting each other from yourselves but at the same time it’s causing you to lock each other out.”

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#maribat #marinette dupen chang #Damian Wayne #bffmaridami

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anyu-blue · 3 years

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I know a big part of it is the sleep deprivation.. again.. but I'm hella depressed.

Like overall I'm.. content? I guess? I have job. = Good. I have place to live. = Good. I have my game(s) I can play anytime I have time/want. = Good. I have appointments to try and get feeling better and keep trying and keep trying when I don't. = Good. I have Kizzy and will probably have him for at least 3 more years, if not longer. = Good. I have contingency plans in place for paying for my surgeries. = Good.

I've got a lot of good right now. And it's not that I'm ungrateful. I am EXTREMELY grateful. Considering my issues I've done extremely well. Even if some of it was on accident.

It's just.. well.. I'm tired, of course. Not sleeping well or much for days on end sucks. Especially because I could have, but people are going to keep living their lives and accidentally waking/keeping me up because they just don't think about my situation 24/7. Or even know it. Or consider it. Because life's too short for that according to, like everyone but me.

I'm sick of course. I've definitely tried the 'I'm doing great/not sick!!' mindset.. and it doesn't work.. cuz stuff HURTS. I don't have the energy to keep pretending either... And I don't think there was really a time I wasn't sick. Not in my whole life.. and It feels impossible to have any hope I'll ever not be physically sick... No matter what or how hard I try. Especially because I'm aging as all people do. Especially being forced to constantly check what I eat because if I don't I can hurt myself/make myself even more sick. Or starve, which hurts me too but is better than the alternatives. Especially being I have to rely on a healthcare system that looks down on what I can afford. Especially because what I can afford is so little. Especially because of our healthcare system being so politically charged people like me with the needs I have (even just replacing bones!!! Hello?! Our STUPID society forgets teeth are BONES and NECESSARY ones at that- but the instant you say teeth people literally don't give two shits, think you're just vain, and 100% brush you off. Even doctors.. and I have cried so hard over this stupid stuff and tried to rally and I'm STILL trying to save my own god damn life. I hate saying that's what I'm doing because I have some of that stupidity in me of thinking vanity... But I'm literally trying to save my forsaken life and be a LOT less miserable, and I feel so hopeless because only the little people who get it actually seem to want to help/be able to push aside that vanity thought and it hurts so badly to ask them to squeeze for me-- thank you if you're reading this and you've reblogged/shared my post. And I cannot thank you enough, and feel I owe you so much if you've donated... Every tiny bit helps. You and I are little people in the sense we don't exactly have $10,000+ to just throw around an have no worries about lol)

I'm.. also lonely? I guess? .. it's probably the best way to describe it. I don't like people all over me. Or really messaging constantly because moods change and People have lives.. but I miss... I want... Stress free interactions. Getting to spend time and go and do things. Not being alone all the time or missing out on everything. Time is meaningless pretty much right now in the sense I've missed all the holidays. 100%. No time spent celebrating or using the time or even seeing people. Im so much a damn adult and yet I still feel like crying whenever my siblings/cousins talk about last halloween because they had so much fun... They spent the day together in matching costumes by themselves at a park. And that's it... I was delirious from sleep deprivation when I saw them for the 5 minutes I did.. and stress because of my ex being the bastard he is to me. And work. So I couldn't join them. And it doesn't bother them in the least. It's such a happy memory for them and I am struggling to let go of the envy. They have so many days they spend together too.. remotely mostly, but they have so much fun. They wake me up alot with their calls.. and get pissed when I'm like hey guys I'm sorry but could you tone it down? I honestly stopped asking lately because they get so pissed and have even been like 'It wasn't me at all!!' even when I can quote what they said back to them and try to find anything and anyone else to blame... My little sister especially is CONSISTENTLY Telling me she has no idea what she even just said so I know it's bullshit it's not her.... And it just hurts. I try so hard. I drug myself to fall asleep almost every single workday now and I hate it. It's not good for you I feel. Says non habit forming but I just. Uck. And I have familiar, soft sound on. And I've shut my cat out. And I've consistently changed my bedding and cleaned and worn masks/covered my eyes, and done everything I can think of to try and make sure I'm going to sleep as long as possible. I don't go to bed and wake up early in the evenings to cook or spend time with them anymore because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I don't stay up to see my sisters during the day anymore. Because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I turn everything off (besides what I hope will help with the noise) at noon and try to lay down as soon after noon as I can every day. Anything blue gets covered or turned off. Everything has red light filters too to get rid of the blue.. but I can't seem to get more than a few jagged hours any given day unless it happens to be their early days where they take naps or I end up so exhausted I'm passed out at night when I should be awake so my shifts aren't so hard... So all that adds up to my being alone and lonely as my own damn fault. Because obviously I stopped making the efforts... The thing that hurts most about that is I was the only one making ANY effort at all to include myself in people's lives (still rings true for everyone in my own city at least- family, friends, the works).. and when I HAD to stop and told them why and asked if they'd be willing to meet me sometimes when it was hard for them (even like once a month fully planned out if need be, or spontaneous because I'm NOT picky)... I got yesses. I did. But. Do you think it ever once happened besides the very day we talked about it?

No.

I can and have gone through every single message and note I have (my memory isn't what it was after I got as sick as I did last fall so I try to keep track of everything instead of relying on my memory anymore)... The only person who even slightly tried was only doing so because he wanted every gd opportunity to beg me to sleep with him (pretty much- he wasn't subtle).. and I had to cut him out because he's not a good person in his own right, sadly. Which left me entirely alone in many ways. Which leaves me entirely alone unless I reach out first and sacrifice sleep.

The continuance of this unfortunately has contributed to my depression.. and the fact no one wants to be around cuz I'm a bummer. And the sleep issues have caused irritability I try so hard to control, but at certain stages I just lose my filters and don't want to say stuff or ramble but I also don't want to miss the opportunity with the person (usually one of my sisters) so stuff gets awkward and they don't like being around THAT. And I don't blame them. But I'd do?

Ugh... I know night shift is my fault... And is a major part of the problem... But I work it to avoid People who don't care about me and mine. To keep myself safe. To keep myself from having panic attacks. I'm doing a lot better with them... But I was breaking down so often at or about work it was getting out of hand... With night shift I'm not overwhelmed like that and I don't have to worry do much about my poor mind losing its sharpness as much. I can take my time more or less. And I get paid enough to survive. ....

I'm just depressed and I know it's on me but I wish I had more help than I do..

Wishing is also the problem. Instead of being happy with what I have.

Blargh...

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #trigger warnings apply #rambling

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azrielsribbon · 4 years

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Quarantining with the Crows!

well two of the crows.

——————————————————————————

“...The Governor’s office has stated that they will be having a live conference, held around five-thirty tonight, addressing the frequently asked questions pertaining—”

The TV correspondent’s voice cut off eruptly as Kaz switched back to his Netflix home screen. This stupid virus was driving him insane. He had been cooped up, in his shared apartment for the past two weeks except for when he went out for groceries.

Beside him, his phone lit up. His brother didn’t know what to do with his time other than annoy him. Begrudgingly, Kaz picked it up to see what he wanted this time.

[Jordie]: I was just thinking. How is that you’ve been inside for two weeks and still haven’t made a single move on your roommate? 3:10 pm

[Kaz]: Because not all of us need to live up to some playboy rule book. 3:11 pm

Jordie is typing...

Read 3:11 pm

Smirking, Kaz went onto his social media. If it hadn’t been for Zenik’s persistence, he wouldn’t have even bothered but he couldn’t get her to shut up about it. But it was mostly the threat she had made about mentioning some things about him to Inej.

Her excuse behind forming a groupchat on literally everything had been something about needing another platform to send them memes. Whatever it was.

The muted Crows groupchat was blowing up, with Nina and Jesper arguing, per usual. Seemingly, the more they stayed inside the more chaotic the chat got.

[talldarkandhandsome_]: look im just sayin nutella crossiants arent that good when you dip em into ur tea

[waffleenthusiastic_]: fahey what would you know about taste?

[talldarkandhandsome_]: just because u got lucky with matty doesn’t mean u can overuse that statement, zenik. i have lots of taste.

[matthiashelvar]: lucky?

[wylanvansunshine]: i s thise ninas way of callings me uglie

[talldarkandhandsome_]: babe did u turn on voiceover again

[waffleenthusiastic_]: wyLan nO. jes is just mad i have proper tastebuds, he still thinks lime green ontop of dark green is a fashion statement.

[talldarkandhandsome_]: kaz stop lurking we have read notif on

[matthiashelvar]: demjin is here?

Rolling his eyes, Kaz left the chat and moved onto his twitter. While he was mindlessly scrolling, someone put a mug on the coffee table. Hot chocolate. No whip cream. His favorite from when he was a child.

He didn’t have to look up to know the person who smelled like fresh spring bottled up. Jasmine and Lavender. Her signature shampoo, the smell of it still fresh in their apartment from her post workout shower.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud but the smell of her soaps and odd candles always put him at ease, especially during the depth of their exam seasons and the odd jobs they took. It was a reminder of how she was always there, present.

“How many episodes did you binge without me?” Inej said as she sat down on the other side of the couch. He glanced up. She was in one of his old shirts that came down to her knees, her leggings underneath them.

“The whole season.” A lie, and she probably knew that too, from the unwatched episodes and the abandoned remote. He never could watch their shows without her around.

She hummed as she took a sip from her mug and swiped the remote from beside him, scrolling around a bit for a show to watch.

He discreetly continued to watch her from the corner of his eye. He was a thief, not just of material but of opportunity. He had never been caught to this day and certainly didn’t plan on it anytime soon.

“Why is the groupchat blowing up?”

“Something about Jesper not liking nutella crossiants in his tea.” He replied, keeping his eyes on her.

“Leave it to them to discuss food preferences when they’re out of things to do.” She mused, finally clicking on a show. “Do you want to order out or attempt to make something without burning the house down?”

“Order out. Mediterranean or Thai?”

“Definitely mediterranean. Your regular?”

“Yeah, I’ll get the number.” He moved to get up but she beat him to it him.

“My wallet’s on the counter.”

She waved him off. “I’ll cover it this time. You got the last couple orders.”

“Use my card, Ghafa, or I won’t eat the food. I will check my account.”

“What a big baby.” She shook her head. “Then I’ll get groceries when we’re out.”

Kaz didn’t bother to reply. He knew that when it came time for a run to the store, he’d still end up paying.

It’s not that Inej couldn’t pay for things, he just didn’t want her to.

His phone buzzed.

[Jordie]: Don’t get defensive. These playboy rules got me a girl. 3:21 pm

[Kaz]: Let’s hope they help you keep her. I am jealous of Kate, she can get rid of your ugly face anytime. 3:22pm

[Jordie]: Keep saying that, ungrateful brat. You should be praising the looks you didn’t win in the genetic lottery. I’m sure Inej would think the same. What are you waiting for anyways? Some guy to come in and take her away? She’s got looks. 3:24pm

He knew that too. Inej wasn’t ugly. She was far from it, and he wasn’t dumb enough to not notice the looks from guys—and girls, when they were out together.

He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to admitting that he did like her. He wasn’t ready for that.

Inej came back into the room after a couple of minutes, letting her hair out of its braid. He liked it when she let it loose around the apartment. Ebony waves glossed and complimented her beautiful complexion.

She caught the sight of him. “Have you heard from your brother?”

Kaz groaned. “When haven’t I heard from the bastard? You’d think he’d spend his time trying to seduce Kate.”

Inej let out a laugh. There’s the laugh, he thought.

“I’m sure Kate’s tired of him. When does he plan on finally proposing?”

“Sometime after the virus ends. If it ends. His original plan got postponed.”

Inej opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by the doorbell. “I’ll get it, you rest the leg.”

He watched her until she went out of his view. Nothing could change the way he’d feel for her. But he also knew nothing would change when it came to Inej liking him. He knew that he pressed her buttons very often. She didn’t see him more than a friend.

A friend who you borrow shirts from, a friend you spend your Friday nights with, a friend—

He was ok with friends. The very least, he could love her from afar and not hold her back from anything she deserved. Inej deserved someone who knew how to love. She survived too much to just end up with someone like him.

...

But what he didn’t know was that she was holding back on him as well. Every feeling, every ounce of adoration he harbored was returned.

#kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #wesper #helnik

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echoisfailing · 4 years

Text

Robin Story Part 3

(A/N) okayy so this got a little a tiny bit of Shameless season 1? I think it was were Monica comes back and make Fiona feel like shi but on the bright side robin is actually in this part so i can only do my best (am aware i said id do no angst for right now but i also didn't expect to get into a series so) Also v sorry cuz im really bad at capturing already made characters so Robin might not be herself but shes confident around Steve but i honestly dont think she would be at school especially around someone she liked.Warning:Homophobia!!!!!

Word count 1573 posted on 8-20-20

I take a deep breath before calling the last number I have for my parents. It rings about three times before I hear her voice. It should feel like a breath of fresh air but instead i get choked up. But i don't have that type of time so i swallow it and after her 3rd hello i say. “Mom, it urgent you and dad need to get here or you are gonna get in serious trouble and we might be taken. You know where we live the cops come on the 25th. See you before then.” I say and hang up. I didn't even let her talk who knows i may have been breaking up. She may not care. All we do now is pretend everything is okay. I decide to tell Michelle and we collectively decide to not tell Eric unless something is actually going to happen. So we go about our weekend like we do every week and on Monday we put on a false face. I walked into school straight to my locker where I saw Scarlet waiting. “Ugh, finally my weekend sucked, my mom made me go to a family reunion.” She grunted. I chuckled and opted out of telling her to make sure it didn't sound like I was trying out do her or something. We walked into first period and took our seats. And we went through all the classes normally until I got to 5th period chemistry. As soon as the bell rings our teacher tells us we are going to be put into groups of three for our lab. She lets us decide so I obviously choose Scarlet. “Maybe we should pick her she doesn't have a group.” She says pointing at Robin. “Okay, whatever.” I sputter out what am i supposed to say no please dont because if we do then i might turn into a blushing mess out myself. “Hey come be with us.” She calls out to her. “O-okay.” she mutters and walks over with her stuff. “I’m Scarlet. This is (Y/N). What's your name?” She chimed. “I’m Robin.” She says waving her hand. “What’d you do this weekend?” Scarlet asked, she is always really outgoing. “Not much i got a couple call backs to jobs but none of them really seem that good. what about you two?” She asked. “Nothing. I had to go to a family reunion which by the way who has a reunion before summer like our annual is in July but this year was May.” She finished her rant. “Not much just stayed home with my brother while my sister was out.” I answered. “Any job call you back?” She asked. “No i just applied at the one place, probably for the best.” We all went on talking as we did our project. She makes me super nervous, i keep on looking up at her just to see her face. Hoping that no one notices. But what i did notice is she has this blush she never has. The way she smiles at Scarlet almost makes me think she might like her. But that's impossible right I mean what's the odds of that? As we were cleaning up I heard her ask Scarlet. “Can i get your number? So we can like hang out outside of school?” Scarlet smiles and writes her name and number down on a piece of notebook paper. I was hoping she would ask for mine but she just went on like i didnt exist well no she talked to me and acknowledged me but not like she did Scarlet. When the bell rang I walked out with Scarlet and once we got half way towards her next class which i have to pass to get to mine she started chuckling. “Did you see her. She was practically drooling over me. It was hilarious.” She said still chuckling. “I didn’t notice.” I said which was kinda a lie. “One girl that was on her soccer team told me that Robin told her that she liked her. So it's not too far to think maybe. And then at the very end she asked for my number. I gave her Pizza Huts. That's so gross. Not to mention wrong.” She said making me feel like shit actual shit. “Well just in case it isn't true don't go around telling people. Don't want her to be ruined and it not be true.” I tried to reason. “Yeah, you are so right. Always my voice of reason. Bye, See you tomorrow.” She said going into her next class. God I hope I run into her before she calls. But will it help? I mean she’ll be embarrassed but will it make it worse if I tell her? Writing a note will obviously do no good because I have no balls. 6th and 7th period went by fast and just my luck i saw her headed to the band hall no doubt. “Hey Robin, I know I don’t know you like that and Scarlet will probably hate me for this. But when you asked for her number she gave you a fake one i'm so sorry.” I said then walked away really fast. When I got home there was a car in the driveway so I got off my bike and made sure Eric did too and we walked in the house, him behind me. Michelle was waiting by the door. She gave me a look saying it's them. I turned around. “Hey, remember how you said you missed momma and daddy? Well they are here but i don't know how long they are going to stay okay bud.” I told him before I opened the door he nodded but had a huge smile on his face that told me that he only heard his parents are home. Who can blame him. We walked in and mom shrieked “You are home! (Y/N) you have a call. Michelle you get more beautiful every time I see you. And my boy my baby!” I walked to the phone and rolled my eyes. She always does that always seem excited to see them but never me. I think she blames me because i was her first im what catapulted her into feeling bad for not being home. I put the phone up to my ear. “Hello?” I said. “Really you warned her are stupid? Or worse a F*****?” Scarlet shouted at me. “No, I just felt bad she didn’t deserve that even if she is you know.” I said. “Yes she does because it is an abomination. Its wrong and how dare she try to get my number?” She growled. “I disagree. Even if it is an abomination you are supposed to love everyone and being hateful because of one thing is also such.” I argued. “Oh my god, you are ruined. You have a crush on her! Have you ever had a crush on me. No dont answer and in fact dont ever talk to me again l*z*y.” She shouted, hanging up. Well this day couldnt get any better. “So as soon as this is over and you turn 18 you are out. You know that right?” My dad said. “Uh no? I didn’t can i get a reason?” I asked bewildered. “You called the cops on us and tried to get your siblings put into foster care did you seriously think we wouldn't know it was you. You have been ungrateful from the second you could understand things!” He shouted at me. “Do you seriously think i would do anything to put those kids out? Seriously. I raised them! You wanna kick me out fine but just remember who raised your kids. You realize I'm also your child right? You were supposed to love and protect me instead you left me all alone at 12 with kids to raise.” I calmly said, trying to remain calm. “Even if you didn’t, which I highly doubt, you still don't deserve the roof I give you, the food i pay for, or the clothes on your back which I so graciously allow you to have.” He said almost threateningly. “So what you put me out and then it’ll be Michelle whats gonna happen when you have no one to watch poor Eric?” I said mocking him a little. “When me and your mom leave again on the 1st we are taking Eric with us.” He informed. “No you can’t do….” I started. “No you cant tell me what to do with my son.” he interrupted. “Like hell i can't. He knows me! He trust me! He misses you two because you come with false promises and then it ruins him when you leave again! And you cant take him because hes going to a science camp. Which he got into for free all by himself by winning 2nd place in his science fair and if he cant go it will hurt him.” I stated. “Well then we will just pick him up after camp on July 1st like we were gonna do.” He said with a sickly sweet smile on his face. “2 things. No you wont and thats also not what you said.” I snarkily replied. “Jesus Christ get out i dont want to see your face until 11. Now Get!” He yelled. So I left I got on my bike and headed to the mall.

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley #stranger things #stranger things imagine

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holdvns · 4 years

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hi friends ! i’m farah nd im coming at u live frm the pst timezone to bring u a new muse of mine. so excuse me as i ramble abt holden under the cut. like this post and i will come bother u for plots?? that or u can im me on here or on my discord (farah#1263), whatever works rlly! anyways, super stoked to be here and to get to write with u all!!!!

(TOBY WALLACE, CIS MALE) - Have you seen HOLDEN DONAHUE? HOLDEN is in HIS JUNIOR year. The PHILOSOPHY MAJOR is 21 years old & is a TAURUS. People say HE is QUICK-WITTED, DARING, IRREVERENT and DETACHED. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that HIS FATHER PAID OFF THE SCHOOL TO CHANGE HIS GRADES AFTER HE FAILED FOUR CLASSES LAST SEMESTER FROM NEVER SHOWING UP. (FARAH. 22. PST. SHE/HER.)

pinterest board / tag

holden grew up between upstate new york and manhattan in an extremely wealthy family. from the outside, his family had the appearance of perfection, but underneath that facade lay years of shocking and hidden family secrets that one way or another got out into society, even if his family tried to put them down as merely rumors.

his father is a highly respected but also deeply feared business man/media magnate known for his cutthroat attitude in his business dealings and personal relationships. he had an extremely difficult childhood, having been orphaned at a young age and passed from relative to relative around europe, many of whom were not very kind to him. still, he was incredibly intelligent and wanted to make something of himself, having this belief in the american dream and wanting to move there if he ever got the chance. after attending college on a scholarship, he was able to use his connections and move to new york, where he founded his own start-up that eventually led to him building his own personal fortune.

his mother was very much a hustler. she grew up poor in new york and at an early age, learned how to use her good looks to manipulate men for the finer things in life. she had a short stint as a model before she met holden’s father, charming him enough to call it quits with his first wife. underneath her obvious beauty, however, was a fiery temper and substance abuse problem. the thing about her was that she really wasn’t made to be a wife and mother. holden’s father thought he could turn her into this perfect socialite/housewife (marrying her and then proceeding to have his older brother, cal, and holden in a very short span of time), but the task proved impossible. she was always only looking out for herself and didn’t enjoy being tied down, certainly not with kids to take care of despite the nannies his father provided. they fought constantly, and their home life was extremely unstable. it was a normal occurrence for holden to see his mother being dragged off to an institution by his father’s security guards or for his mother to use him and his brother as bait to get his father to give her money for drugs, to leave him, or sometimes just to try and get back with him.

eventually, she finally did leave, having told holden and his brother the three of them were moving to los angeles, but leaving without them and dying of a drug overdose shortly after. holden was about six at the time and thinks he has successfully hidden this entire episode from his memory, but it’s definitely something that affects him whether he likes it or not.

although his family claims this was merely just a rumor, it was often said that there was some foul play behind her death and that his father had some involvement, not wanting her to ever leave him and move on with her life. while holden deep down may admit that this could be the case, it’s never something he would really say.

at this point, his father rarely talks about his mother and when he has, he has poisoned her memory so much, holden feels like he never really had one. when he was younger, he’d often make up stories about her in his head, which were far different than who she actually was. it helped at the time, but after a while it was easier to just forget her altogether.

while his father cares deeply for his children and has provided them a life of ease and luxury, he’s certainly not innocent in all of this mess. he’s extremely manipulative and often psychologically traumatizing to them as well. he often finds his children to be lazy and ungrateful and resents the way they’ve been raised (even though it was his own doing), while he suffered from poverty and abuse in his own childhood. he often pits the two of them against each other, always trying to see who’s the stronger, smartest, who will do whatever it takes to be the best, especially because there’s always talk about who’s going to be the one to be the one who’s going to take over when he retires. it is usually said to be his older brother, because it’s no secret that he’s his father’s favorite.

because of this, holden and his brother never really got along. or so it seems. they did when they were younger, but their hatred runs so deep that the even thought of that feels like a distant reality. they’re only two years apart, but they couldn’t be more different. while his brother is a complete perfectionist and will do just about anything to please his father, holden gave up on that idea along time ago. it didn’t matter what he did, he never seemed to be able to measure up against his brother. maybe it was because he was younger, maybe it was because he was more sensitive and seemed to feel things at a deeper level, maybe it was because he wasn’t as competitive, or maybe there was no explanation why his father simply liked cal better. holden’s never seemed to figure out. he’s always felt like the screwup of the family, so eventually that’s what he became.

he started drinking and using drugs at an early age, basically trying anything to mask his pain and trauma. while his brother excelled academically and in sports in high school, holden never applied himself. he fell in with the wrong crowd and gave up his spot on the football team to run around the streets of new york and engage in all kinds of debauchery. it was common for him to disappear for days on end, spending his father’s money and racking up drug and gambling debts. obviously his father wasn’t happy about this and would constantly remind him of that, but he didn’t exactly do anything to stop him either. if this was a cry for help or attention, it didn’t exactly have the desired effect and only left holden feeling empty.

he started dating this older hippie girl who was in college while he was a senior in high school who influenced him to want to detach from his family and money and the crowd he was running in. he kind of... took it to the extreme and started talking like timothee chalamet in lady bird lmao, even though he reeked of privilege. honestly, it was just another way to annoy his father and brother, which was always his goal at the time. they ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, but he kept some of her ideas and mindset afterwards.

after high school, he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do. so he ran off to europe for a year and didn’t talk to anyone from home. just traveled around by himself with little money and getting into all kinds of trouble. he probably would’ve stayed longer, but one morning he came across an american newspaper while he was in greece reporting on how his father had suffered a heart attack. he rushed back to the states and luckily his father has survived, but in that moment of weakness he manipulated him into attending college. his father pulled some strings and got him into yates, and while it isn’t exactly his idea of fun, he’s taking it day by day and looking it as another way to push back actually having to enter the real world.

~ personality wise ~

acts like he hates his family, new york, and everything that comes attached with money and privilege, but completely reaps the benefits of all these things when he can. claims everything having to do with high society is vapid and that he wants more out of life.

a bit of a compulsive liar. will make up fake identities and pretend to be other people or tell people he doesn’t know some sob story about growing up poor. rlly just gets off on stuff like that and doesn’t tell the truth. like ever.

doesn’t always like people knowing how rich he is or who his father is. for those that do know, he doesn’t like to talk much about his family. probably won’t ever say a word about his mother.

has no real ambitions in life or any sort-of life plan. has switched his major at least 10 times and never goes to his classes.

very much a hedonist. likes to party and hates being alone. hooks up with too many people and finds it very difficult to be in any sort of real relationship. he’s just not reliable or faithful enough.

also goes through phases where feels like he doesn’t connect with people? or that he hates everyone?

always attracts chaos of some kind. black eyes from a fight over kissing someone’s girlfriend or owing his drug dealer money.

lives life day by day. doesn’t plan for the future. usually always drunk or high.

kind of... morally ambiguous. with the way he was raised, he doesn’t see life as black or white. it’s sort of grey. usually doesn’t do the right thing, usually doesn’t feel bad about it... but there is a heart there somewhere. he just doesn’t usually care enough to use it.

rlly tries to avoid feelings as much as possible. he’s actually quite a sensitive person, but after being constantly told that makes him weak by his father and having a robot of a brother he’s always felt ashamed by that. so he uses his vices to try and not feel things.

wanted plots

hook ups, fwbs, exes, someone he cheated on, friends, enemies, someone he owes money to, someone who knew him grew up and knows his family, someone he actually rlly cares about (romantic or platonic)...i’ll add more to this when i think of more things!

#yatesintro #death tw #addiction tw #drugs tw

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