#like if you’re not challenging societal pressure it’s on you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waywardstation · 1 year

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I love the train of thought au! I hate Tumblr though, especially mobile Tumblr. Had to scroll for 30~20 minutes to reach the bottom of the tag. (Mobile Tumblr reloaded at least a few times and I almost threw my phone. I think I cried twice in frustration.)

I am absolutely foaming at the mouth because I've always liked the way Ingo and Emmet get presented, the characterizations are just so... Mwah 🤭.

For some reason the only thing I could think about after spending an entire night reading that wall of posts was the concept of big brother Ingo.

Sorry if I'm ranting here, it really has nothing pertaining to the au at all but I hate this concept, especially the societal concept that the older brother takes care of the younger one. Twins especially since they are usually born minutes from each other and that really doesn't mean anything different in experience.

Yes, Emmet is younger but I've always pictured him as the headstrong one that stands up for Ingo more often than not. (Honestly that's the vibe they give off collectively). I like to think of them as not in a big brother, little brother dynamic but a "we been through so much shit together we support each other fully" dynamic. I do understand why people like using it though.

Wait, what was this post about again? I swear I'm not trying to negatively rant right after bringing up stuff that plagued my mind while reading. I guess all I want to say is thank you for hosting this wonderful community au on your blog.

Expect Tumblr crabs in your blog later on. This is a warning.

Hey there OP! Glad you like it, I do too!!! (Still working on that masterpost ^^;) and apologies with tumblr mobile, I know it’s not the best with optimization!

I’m putting a readmore below because I got a lot more detailed than I intended to, regarding Ingo and Emmet’s sibling dynamic.

I like your views because it really isn’t as black and white (ha) as all that. I am a twin myself, the younger between us (and also by a few minutes) and throughout our lives it certainly has gone back and forth with us, but there’s really no definite position of looking after the other, just like with any other sibling relationship.

Given how Ingo and Emmet are, I imagine their dynamic very similar to what you’re talking about, being each others’ full supporters. Multiple lines in Masters EX show this, like these few from Emmet:

"Ingo and I are twins. We're both Subway Bosses, and we're each other's closest rival! We always challenge each other to get better. That's the kind of relationship we have! It's always a lot of fun when we're together!"

However, I feel like Ingo might feel… I don’t want to say obligated, because it’s certainly not work, and he knows very well Emmet can fend for himself, but perhaps inclined (pressured? By himself??) to carry through with what’s normally expected of an older brother. He might feel like he should look out for Emmet when he can:

“My younger brother, Emmet, would always entertain passengers on the Battle Subway... Now he is enjoying being a host here on Pasio. However, he's still new to this style of hospitality. Would you mind keeping an eye on him?"

And this might be somewhat spurred by the fact that Emmet looks up to Ingo, which I am sure Emmet has made Ingo aware of - he just might not want to let Emmet down:

"Do you have any siblings? I have an older brother, Ingo. He's verrrry strong. He hardly ever loses in Pokémon battles. Even though I also hold the title of Subway Boss, I really look up to him."

I do feel Emmet is very ready to support Ingo as well, seeing as how in their story event in Masters EX, Emmet was trying very hard to help Ingo with a project of theirs:

"I want to make Ingo’s idea a reality! Please, let me do this!"

And regarding your thoughts that of the two, Emmet is more headstrong, I feel similarly, and think he would always very clearly stand up for Ingo when needed.

I do headcanon that growing up, Emmet was more outgoing than Ingo (and that this led him to meeting Elesa, the new exchange student at their school, and taking her over to Ingo to introduce her to him, since he was more reserved and shy - not terribly so, but more so than Emmet)

ALL IN ALL - both Ingo and Emmet fully support and help each other out whenever they need it. And while Ingo might feel pressured by himself to look out for Emmet as the older brother, Emmet naturally does it for Ingo just as much, if not a little more, simply due to his outgoing nature

To try and tie this back to Train of Thought AU, I’m sure Akari and Irida would see a lot of moments expressing this dynamic of theirs in the many memory traincars throughout the mind station.

AND MG Emmet himself is pretty much a monument to this. MG Emmet is doing everything he can to keep Ingo safe from the Remnant and to protect him, even at his own expense to some degree. MG Emmet might only be a mental projection of how Ingo sees his brother, but the fact that MG Emmet is doing that means Ingo knows Emmet would do things like that for him, and he would.

Thanks for your ask OP!!! Very glad you like the AU, and happy you gave me a chance to go into all of this - I did not expect to dissect things like I did haha.

(And tumblr crabs? oh boy!!! Those would be my first!!)

#train of thought au #<-loosely #all lines are from Pokémon Masters EX #and I know that game isn’t canon to the Pokémon lore it is its own thing #but I really do appreciate the characterizations #and stick to it a lot #Emmet looking up to Ingo is reciprocated by the way #Ingo really admires Emmet both as a battler and as a person

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rocketturtle4 · 10 months

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Make it Right 1&2: It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it – my reflection on the show as a newbie.

In brief: I am attempting to understand how Thai BL has changed, and just generally catch up, by watching ABL’s understand the history of Thai bl list on the Thai master post. I’m more interested in the growth and change of shows and characters (and tropes) than the tracking of different actors/directors, although I enjoy reading about those things. I am concurrently understanding the history of all BL by watching the Foundation Syllabus lists as well. Not everything has been or will be reviewed. These are my own thoughts, I am not expecting everyone or even anyone to agree.

Also, the only Thai BL I have watched older than 2019 were the earlier parts of those lists (Love of Siam, Love Sick 1 & 2 (BL cut) and SOTUS, SOTUS S + Our Skyy). I have only seen about a dozen younger ones, hency why I am watching these lists. Everything is fairly new.

The Good

This main story, about boys falling in love and leaning into those relationships in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of reality but instead shows what life might look like if young men leaned in rather than out, was GREAT. @bengiyo I really appreciated this lense.

I absolutely want to start here because the relationships of Frame&Book, Tee&Fuse, Yok&Mo and even Rottung&Nine were exciting and engaging stories told across one or both seasons. They were old with a meaningful rawness that @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles both discuss in their posts about Make It Right 1 & 2. The characters journeys and choices felt real to a world where men aren't as forced away from each other and themselves by societal and peer pressure.

I went in mentally prepared for some of the biggest issues I’d seen mentioned (general cringeyness, alcohol-induced sex, arguably non-consensual sex, and for the second season, depression and suicide). I had skimmed @waitmyturtles post about season 1 and @lurkingshan's post about season 1, and I was looking forward to the show

Some highlights:

The friendships (I absolutely LOVE boys who are besties with some boys and in love with others. The idea that you can’t be friends with members of the genders you’re attracted to is dumb. The idea that boys shouldn’t support each other and talk about their lives with each other is dumb. I love that this show and others are repping it for genuine and meaningful friendhsips.)

The main relationships especially Frame&Book. (see @lurkinshan’s post about season 2 in particular for excellent recaps, I’m not going to go into details).

Actual quotes I sent to @waitmyturtles while watching:

Frame just told Book that he's a beautiful star whether far away or up close and I'm ACTUALLY DYING FROM THE SWEETNESS

Tee set a ringtone just for Fuse RIP Myself

Tee just CHECKED WITH HIS BOYFRIEND BEFORE CALLING JEAN HIS GIRLFRIEND. My man, how obvious can one be!

Frame: if I'm going to open my heart, I want it to be with you, Me: 💀

Tee and Fuse just EXCHANGED METAPHORICAL HEARTS.

You get the idea

Ohm (that’s it that’s the highlight)

Fuse’s chaotic bi-ness. You kind of want to shake him by the middle of season 2, but it’s also just so fun to watch.

The Struggle

What I wasn’t prepared for, was how much I had to work to love this show.

Frequently throughout season 1, and the first half of season 2, I had to keep asking myself:

Why am I uncomfortable? Why am I uncomfortable? Why am I uncomfortable?

And sometimes, it took multiple episodes of discomfort to pinpoint (one of the multiple) reasons I was cringing. It actually got more challenging as I watched, because I’d find a reason, reflect, reframe my thinking (or modify how I watched the show) and get back into it, only to knock into a wall of discomfort again. It was similar to the struggle you might have beginning a good show where something about the start doesn’t quite gel, but over and over and over again.

Investment

investment

off.

Investment

investment

off.

Rinse and repeat.

FRUSTRATING.

(I literally wandered off between episodes 6 & 7 of MIR 2 to go watch all of What Did You Eat Yesterday (before watching tokyo in april is...)(twas great) just to get a break. Then I read some season 2 recaps from @lurkingshan here and @waitmyturtles here and decided that yes, it was worth the effort) - the last 5 or s episodes were totally worth it FYI

So here are some things I struggled with:

(In writing this reflection, I’ve found some had intertwined or central causes I didn’t notice at the time, so hopefully this makes sense.)

Frame’s overt casualness towards sex (Thinking reframed after S1 Episode 6 I think)

Frame initially felt very predatory to my teenage conditioning. I already made a post about it. It got better after episode 6, but I don’t know if that was because I fixed my brain or if Fuse became less overtly sexual since he started pursuing Book.

(Side note, even before I figured out the problem, I was so pleased with his ability to talk about sex with a medical professional in S1 Ep5, and that was a weird discordance in my brain because the reason Frame was comfortable talking about the issue caused by sex, is because he was comfortable having and talking about sex. Whereas, in my experience, there is this expectation that teenagers (and adults) should be comfortable having these conversations regardless of their experience or comfort with sex in other contexts. Which you should be able to talk to a doctor but you can't just switch tracks in your brain so easily.)

I thought I hated all the girls on the show (I was wrong, but that was my original conclusion)

it was this point that caused me the longest discomfort because WHY? What was I reacting to? Jean was meh, Jiang (Fuse’s sister) was fine (this was pre-introduction of Jean’s not a bestie and Tee’s Mum). Christina was great. What was I reacting to??

It turns out that it’s because both Lily and Yok’s mum are adult women acting in ways that felt predatory to me. I actively hated the show anytime one of them appeared on screen, and that was not a fun emotional response to have.

Lily: I am not sure how old this character was supposed to be, but she’s not in school, and she was tricking Wit into giving her his number and then seemed to be stalking him.

Yok’s mum: She comes across a random teenage girl (who she knows NOTHING ABOUT) and approaches her to PAY HER TO SEDUCE HER SON.

Honestly, Yok’s mum was the worst since Lilly was barely in it. The weird storyline with Wit in the second season also felt very odd. Plus, I found it super confusing that she was this dictating overbearing parent and yet when she was injured, Yok just casually started ordering her to stay home and have Wit take care of her, and she just…agreed (am I missing something?)

Jean: To be honest, she didn’t bother me nearly as much. She was a manipulative teenager who wanted the cool older boyfriend while keeping her nice safe boy on the hook, classic 1-dimensional teenage girl, easy to ignore.

I have no idea what happened with Lily or Yok’s mum in the latter part of season 2. I started actively skipping whenever they appeared on the screen. It did wonders for my engagement because hating anytime they appeared on the screen seriously impacted my viewing experience.

I’d have preferred they didn’t show up at all

The characters are young. (reframed mid season 2)

Shocking the teenagers in high school are, in fact, teenagers who’d have thunk it? But when it turned out Book had had sex two years earlier, my brain was like, WAIT, WHAT? How old are these characters right now? I’d been assuming about 16, which turned out to be accurate (they are in the 11th grade in s2, making them probably 16 at the start of season 2), which means Book’s sex tape is when he was 14. Now do I personally know people who became sexually active at 14? Yes. Does it kind of weird me out on a personal level because at 14 I hadn’t even hit puberty? ABSOLUTELY (seriously, people thought I was like…9).

A father in a story I once read (yes, it was a fanfic) said something like this to his underage son:

“Yes 18 is an arbitrary line, past the point many teenagers are ready, but isn’t it better for the one’s who aren’t ready to be protected by the law even at the cost of you having to wait?”

And my uh ?19? year old self latched onto that idea with a retrospectively concerning lack of nuance.

However, that idea is very black and white on one hand, and patently unrealistic on another. Understanding that teenagers, even teenagers as young as 14/15, like Book was with his first boyfriend, do in fact, have sex is something I still find kind of confusing because of how completely uninterested I was about such things in highschool. (Especially at 14). But that doesn’t make it less true or less okay. Teenagers can have healthy sex lives and that’s okay (is a mantra I repeated to myself…more than once)

Yes it is becoming clear to me that most of my hangups are apparently around sex, hence this reflection.

Sex workers being friends with teenagers and suggesting sex with them (early season 1) - can teenagers have casual sex? (reframed here, now)

I was surprised by this one because I had made a conscious effort to dismantle inherent biases I harboured towards sex workers as a concept some years ago, and it was something that didn’t bother me at all when I watched 3 Will Be Free in May of this year. (Yay for growth)

Yet, when an adult women suggested Frame come back to her apartment, my brain went: WHAT NO! (seriously, my brain when WHAT NO so often it was exhausting)

I think this underlies a lot of the discomfort I felt with points 1, 2, & 3 on this list. While I have little to no issue with ADULTS having casual sex, Teenagers having casual sex, especially with Adults, is something that I’m not okay with being depicted (and I don’t mean consciously but unconsciously). Throw in some romantic feelings and I’m apparently fine (I love my age gap BL), but casual and that’s suddenly not okay?

I haven’t really settled on how I feel about this intellectually one way or another and the ambiguity of it all makes it hard to reframe this one properly. At what point does someone become an adult is not a question I’m suddenly going to be able to answer, especially because my personal experience of being a late bloomer biases me towards the older, the better. Also how I feel about it being depicted on TV is not the same as how I would feel about it in real life. However, the fact that (to my unconsciousness) it’s okay if romantic feelings are involved feels a little hypocritical. (If you click on the link @absolutebl talks about age gap issues in the context of Minato's laundromat (scroll down past epiosde 8, I had previously read this and it helped me when I was thinking this through)

I think this one comes from a place of some realism rather than exclusively sex-negative conditioning, which makes it harder to traverse. Adult’s brains are more developed, and an inherent power balance is involved when one party is relatively independent, and the other is not. I think I unconsciously believe romantic feelings reduce this power imbalance...not totally sure though.

The Crassness of it all (A constant and ongoing reframing of my brain)

Other things that made me cringe: (Shockingly these are largely about sex again)

Sex with strange women in the bathroom (Frame and Book early season 1) (also, they appeared to be adult women, sooo back to point 4)

Hooking up with strangers for sex (Frame and Book early season 1)

The forced sexual encounter (this one’s not on me) (Frame and Book early Season 1)

Lukmo and Yok exchanging numbers while taking dumps in the bathroom (early season 2)

Lukmo and Yok dream sex scene and actual sex scene (I don’t think this one is on me) (late season 2)

Boys watch porn in groups (do they actually this keeps coming up in shows?) (is there anything wrong with this if they do, other than how uncomfy it makes me to imagine…no)

These aren’t necessarily bad things, just things that made it harder for me to watch and that’s what I’m reflecting on so…

The inherent Misogyny

I had the exact same problem with Love Sick, so I wasn’t really fussed about this one. I just thought it was SO STUPID that Fuse was only able to justify breaking up with Jean after she’d been a bad person. Like if she was a good person, he would have to stay with her BECAUSE SHE’S A HELPLESS GIRL.

This was just adding insult to injury.

But real talk, Het relationships ARE often framed this way and it didn’t feel unrealistic to how boys may actually think/feel/have been taught so I wasn’t really mad about it specifically.

Why have I shared all this?

Because I think some people may struggle with Make It Right for more ingrained and complicated reasons than they realise. The obvious answers of non-consent, ‘bad’ humour and general messiness are right there as perfectly acceptable reasons not to watch.

Yet I prepared for that going in and I still had a really hard time watching this show.

I've watched higher heat BLs before, I'm not really sure why this one was so different. @lurkingshan comments on the rawness of the show in her post about season 2, maybe that's part of it? It felt less removed from my life I suppose, previous TV genres I have watched are basically fantasy and anime so I don't tend to watch shows with a strong sense of realism. Perhaps thiis one hit me more because it felt more real?

My hangups aren’t anybody else’s, but there is more societal pressure on girls to be chaste, to be demur, to be careful or wary of sex, at least in Christian cultures (Sex Negativity, it’s not fun). I already knew I internalised those messages more than most teenagers (Something I very much struggled with growing up is that young people are often taught with extreme messaging because ‘it’s the only way to get though to them’ and I’m a very literal person and I was very naïve on top of that so it tended to “affect me more than it was supposed to” (to quote an actual conversation I had with my mum)). (Example of this in a different context was learning about the dangers of alcohol when I was 12 and I went home and cried to my 19 year old brother because I thought he’d die from the occasional parties he went to…it sounds crazy but I was distraught).

But I think an argument could be made for less strong reactions to some of these same problems, negatively affecting the viewing experience for other people, especially a majority audience of young women. I think part of the reason I could identify the causes of my discomfort were because they were so strong. A Low-level buzz of ‘uhh, I don’t really like this’ is much less likely to make someone go: okay, but why?

(Side note, this has caused me to realise how much I haven’t reacted to sex negativity in shows like UWMA, I read about it as a concept later and thought: Oh, yeah, that is bad, but I did not even notice it while I was watching and I did not even notice that my lack of noticing might be a problem until now so…yeah…not good)

Final Thoughts: What did I think of Make It Right?

I adored the relationships.

I loved the friendships.

I enjoyed how much it forced me to reflect on my ingrained biases. It was growth and learning, sometimes more than I wanted, but growing is something I want to keep doing for the rest of my life.

But it was hard work.

Overall, I do recommend it, but only if you’re prepared to think about yourself, your feelings, the WHY of it all while you watch.

(also, you might just not like it for more obvious reasons and that’s okay too).

Rating: Season 1 76%, Season 2 79% Middling Recommendations

Next up: Love by Chance (Thai List)

Or: Wish You (Korea) (FS)

Savvy?

#make it right #make it right 2 #long post #rturts is wondering #rocketturtle4 catches up #Rocket4Reviews

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sobriquett · 6 months

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Dear Yuletide Author 2023,

Dear Yuletide Author,

What a wonderful time of year! Thank you for thinking about writing for me, I hope this letter is useful to you. Up here, you’ll find a bunch of stuff about general loves, likes and DNWs, both generally and for certain mini-challenges. Further down, there’s fandom-specific information and a handful of prompts for each fandom.

I am Sobriquett in pretty much all fandom spaces I use (here, AO3, Dreamwidth, Discord, etc.), so at least that should be easy to remember!

Please use as much or as little of this letter as you like. As a writer, I like to have all the information and so I want to make sure my writer has everything they might need, but the intention is absolutely not to overwhelm you with minutiae or to restrict you to these prompts. If you only get 5% in but the Lightbulb of Inspiration is flashing in your mind, then go for it! I hope you have a blast.

Treats are enabled and very welcome, including drabbles – I have high hopes of writing a few of my own. I am also open to IF or poetry.

You can also poke me if you’re looking for a beta reader in this fandom or any other fandom I’ve requested before. I will sign up in relevant places as I see them, or use the ask box or email sobriquett at outlook dot com.

If you still want more information, please look through previous letters using the tags at the bottom of this post. (I've requested everything except Boston Legal before.)

I don’t have any major triggers – I’d just avoid or Alt+F4 any of my DNWs, I wouldn’t be harmed by them – so you’re probably safe with most darker ideas, even if I haven’t explicitly opted in. However, because I do love darkfic but we’re generally a thoughtful community, by all means ask through the mods if you have an idea but it’s on the edge of the commonly acceptable and you’re not certain. Also, anything canon-typical/canonical/canon-appropriate will almost certainly get a thumbs up, except my DNWs.

Also, please don’t feel obliged to be unrelentingly positive about any or all of these characters. I am happy to read you poke at their hypocrisies, selfishness, resentments, poor decisions or unkind thoughts as appropriate. Characters don’t have to be perfect, even our favourites; people certainly aren’t.

(I spend a lot of time in disability advocacy spaces and, as the person I'm usually caring for will say, "disabled people can be arseholes too". It turns out I really want to read nuanced, imperfect disabled/neurodivergent characters being arseholes with agency who are occasionally called out by the people who know and love them; who knew? Three of my requested fandoms contain canonically disabled/neurodivergent/otherwise physically or mentally impaired characters, and I am 100% on board if you want to headcanon something for the women of The Godfather too.)

DNWs for All Fandoms and Challenges

(Note: Nobu has canonically lost an arm and Rochester has lost a hand and I would love fic to explore or consider that – it’s more that I don’t want characters losing limbs “on-page”, so to speak.)

General Likes and Loves

Crueltide Likes

Yuleporn Likes

Honestly, I am up for near anything that feels like it fits into the canon context, would be in-character(-ish) and isn’t on my DNW list. Bonus points for anything I haven’t thought of that is really contextually appropriate!

-----

Fandoms in alphabetical order to avoid the impression of favouritism!

1. Boston Legal

Requested characters: Any Tag set characters: Alan Shore | Denny Crane | Jerry Espenson | Katie Lloyd

I watched this series for the first time this year and I really enjoyed it. There are certainly elements that haven’t aged well, and some things that are unfortunately still far too relevant, but I was so delighted by it overall. This is a first-time request this year, so this section is a little thinner and my thoughts a little more disorganised than for other fandoms!

I am interested in any or all four of these characters, and in any combination of & relationship between them, or perhaps Jerry/Katie, and but let's talk a little more about Alan~/~Denny:

Alan and Denny’s relationship was remarkable. I am 100% here for that queerplatonic dynamic – the sleepovers, the platonic intimacy, the complete joy of their friendship and their reliance but not dependence upon one another (although of course that dynamic may shift as Denny’s illness progresses). They have so many differences and yet such consistent and open love for one another. And then they get married, and it makes sense. Oh, my heart.

I would love to see more of this relationship, either during canon or post-canon. (I haven't seen The Practice, so references there will go over my head, but pre-canon is cool too!) They’re both so aggressively, offensively heterosexual that I think it would be a tough sell for me to believe in a sexual relationship here, but an incredibly intimate friendship with occasional romantic overtones where they are unambiguously the most important person in each other’s lives? Yes please. We should all be so lucky. Dysfunction also welcome.

I’m not sure Jerry’s character is 100% okay by today’s standards, but I related to so many of his quirks and tics and I rooted for him right from his first appearance. I felt a physical pang when Alan was deliberately cruel to Jerry to knock him off-balance when they were on opposing sides and I’m glad it wasn’t immediately dismissed. Equally, I was delighted when Katie stood up to Jerry when he was “using” his issues to avoid his problems or to play the victim when things were within his abilities to address.

Katie is also interesting to me. What is a young British woman doing in an American law firm? What effect does her Britishness have on her life and career in Boston? Does she have any darker shades to her personality?

I am a little short of prompts here and will try to add more if I think of them. Hopefully the likes/loves above will provide some inspiration if the below doesn't, or you already have an idea of your own! I just want a little bit more of these characters; that would be lovely.

Prompts:

How did Katie find herself in Boston, or at an American law school before that?

Post-canon:

How do these characters and their relationships develop?

Does Alan get to open his legal clinic? Do Jerry and Katie work for him?

How does Denny get on? Does he continue to work, maintain his streak?

Do Alan or Denny have any other intimate relationships outside their marriage? Is the other jealous?

How does Jerry get on after the changes at Crane, Poole & Schmidt? Does he find a new firm? Does he land on his feet? Does he keep working with Katie? Does their relationship work, despite their differences?

2. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë

Requested characters: Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre is an unreliable narrator.

This is one of my favourite novels ever, but I read a new story each time I read (or rewatch – Ruth Wilson 2006 version, yes) it. I had a different experience of it as a child, teenager, young adult, and so on – and with time, I’ve come to see Rochester as more of a villain, and then also as a victim of circumstances and a product of his environment, and to increasingly believe that Jane Eyre lies to us. She’s also every bit as prejudiced and superior as those she criticises, but/because she’s also a product of her world. But I still love her, and love that she says she got a happy ending. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay happy, or even that she was telling the truth.

This is a fandom where I particularly enjoy a darker edge, and a playful approach to the text on the author’s part. The novel is a first person autobiography. Have fun with that! Jane Eyre is an unreliable narrator. The novel is her autobiography and I don’t believe that the story she told is necessarily the story that “happened”. What did she conceal? What did she tweak? What did she exaggerate or minimise? Is she trying to tell a moral story, and if so for whom? Does her faith endure and guide her quite as steadfastly, perfectly and purely as she says? I adore fics that play with this idea.

Although my only requested character is Jane herself, I am also happy with Outsider POV stories that are very much about Jane.

Prompts:

Post-canon happiness?

Post-canon unhappiness?

Canon divergence at any point.

A missing moment from the engagement - an evening spent together, a walk, a trip out. Tension, anticipation, uneasiness, a sense that all’s not quite right that can’t be entirely set aside. Rochester trying to claim more affection than Jane is yet willing to give, with either a playful or darker edge.

A missing moment between the interrupted wedding and Jane fleeing Thornfield? What if they do have a night of madness before Jane flees Thornfield, where just for a moment she gives in? Or is coerced? (Dubcon over complete non-con please? Also: gloriously awful or happy consequences welcome.)

How does Rochester discover Jane’s missing? How does Adele find out? Mrs Fairfax? How do they all react? What is that day like? (Jane’s absence would almost be the character in this case. She doesn’t have to appear, she’s still the focus.)

Jane, Mrs Fairfax and Adele are all dependents. Thornfield Hall might be where they live but it’s not their home, and there’s an inherent precariousness to their position that might be worth exploring – or what it’s worth when they finally do have a home that’s theirs, and they feel it.

Does Jane ever meet her Reed cousins again after Mrs Reed’s death? What would they think of her changed circumstances? Does Jane become – or put on the airs of – a great lady, and put them in their place? Or does she forgive, warmly, and try to cultivate relationships because she remembers what it was like to be alone, as her cousins may have become?

Do Jane and Mrs Fairfax meet again in the future? At Thornfield, they were the closest thing to peers as they were both ladies but dependents, but there was a huge gulf between them in terms of age, experience and outlook. How does their relationship change?

If Jane and Rochester have children, what does that do to Adele’s place in the family? Is she beloved sister or unwanted burden? (I can’t see Jane considering her a burden but I could perhaps see Jane being torn in too many directions and having no time left for Adele, leaving her bereft.)

What if Adele’s mother returned to collect her, or for some other (nefarious) purpose?

Rochester dies in the fire. What happens then?

Jane goes with St. John as a missionary and it doesn’t start/go/end well.

What if the first wedding isn’t interrupted? Rochester’s a bigamist and Jane a fallen woman when it comes out. (I have started writing this but not finished it.)

Jane tries to put Adele back together, after she’s traumatised by the sudden loss of her home, the dismissal of her nurse Sophie, the loss of Jane, the wrath/rage of Rochester, her cruel treatment at school, etc.

Does Jane come to see Rochester as a villain? Does she find herself corrupted, tarnished or lessened in his eyes in some way when he comes to marry/possess her and the sharper, darker side of his character turns on her once she’s off her pedestal?

Does Jane resent being Rochester’s carer, his eyes and hands?

Jane is not in the habit of receiving gifts, and still isn’t used to it. But she has grown to enjoy giving them to those she loves and cares for.

News articles of the aborted wedding, Thornfield fire and subsequent events?

Does Adele correspond with Jane or Rochester from her school? Either miserably from the school Rochester sends her to, or more happily from Jane’s choice? How does Adele find school, either the one Rochester sends her to, or the one Jane moves her to? How does this compare to Jane’

Is Rochester more of a villain? How?

How does their wedding night go? How do Rochester’s blindness and injury affect this side of their relationship?

An in-character moment of passion, with badinage and fairy talk.

There are no fics about Jane Eyre and her former teacher, Maria Temple. Do they keep in touch through Jane’s adult life, or get in touch or meet again in the future? What does the former Miss Temple (I can’t at this moment remember her married name but it is given in the novel) think of how Jane’s life turns out, her choice of husband, his story? Does she offer Jane counsel? What if Jane goes to her instead of to the Rivers when she flees Thornfield? Would the story go differently?

Jane dies on the moors.

Does Jane resent being Rochester’s carer, his eyes and hands?

Is Rochester “really” as injured as Jane writes in her autobiography? Did she provide some sort of divine/literary punishment for his sins? Or what really happened instead, did he get a comeuppance?

3. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

Requested characters: Nitta Sayuri, Nobu Toshikazu

Nobu/Sayuri is my rarest rare pair, although I have been lucky enough to receive fic before.

I enormously prefer the novel to the movie, mostly because there’s so much more Nobu. He’s my favourite character, for the gap between how he’s perceived and how he is. He inspires such loyalty and friendship in those who know and value him – Mameha, the Chairman, Sayuri - and yet more shallow characters (Hatsumomo) can’t stand him based only on his looks (and grumpiness). In many ways, the Chairman is the more ghost-like character in the novel, floating in the background as Sayuri develops a deep and genuine friendship with Nobu despite their differences. Her entire fantasy of the Chairman is based on a five-minute encounter and a hanky and then she essentially doesn’t speak to him for a decade, and I wish she’d made a different choice. Nobu would have been an active choice, rather than continuing down the path she set as a child without consideration for how she’s changed as she’s grown up and seen more of the world. I understand Sayuri’s heartbreak knowing that having Nobu as her danna would preclude any possibility of such a relationship with the Chairman, but it would open up a world of other possibilities, and to kindness from a different source, as well as a more even relationship. Neither Nobu nor Sayuri know much kindness in their lives, and I really enjoy their repartee. It’s one of the few times Sayuri seems to have fun.

Nobu is missing an arm and disfigured by burning; there’s no need to romanticise or sanitise these parts of his character, but I am curious about their effects on any long-term or physical relationship with Sayuri (either practically or just in his head).

Prompts:

What if Sayuri chose Nobu instead, and accepted him as her danna before the war?

What if she accepted him after the war?

Sayuri appreciating Nobu, with optional romantic edge

How does Nobu feel when he realises what Sayuri’s done? What does he know, what is he told, does he try to find out more? Is his respect once lost gone forever?

Sayuri could be the Chairman’s but he could never be hers – he already had a wife – but Nobu would have been hers. Would she want this? What would Sayuri want, given the opportunity?

Nobu and Sayuri being affectionate to one another, even gruffly and distractedly.

How would an evening with Sayuri, Nobu and the Chairman unfold? With or without Mameha to guide Sayuri’s choices to their advantage?

Exploring the differences between the pair – in power (financial, sexual, influence), personal freedom, status, ability to make their own decisions, the rules they play by.

What do they have in common? They are both survivors, at the top of but on the outside of their respective worlds. (Teahouses, factories, okiyas, battlefields.)

Sayuri and Nobu have an en. How else does this manifest?

Do Nobu and Sayuri ever meet again, in the future? Are things frosty, all bridges burned?

What if Pumpkin does bring Nobu instead of the Chairman?

4. The Godfather - Mario Puzo

Requested characters: Any Tag set characters: Apollonia Vitelli Corleone | Carmela Corleone | Kay Adams Corleone | Lucy Mancini

I reread this over the summer. (Well, more specifically, Audible finished one book and rolled straight into playing this one and I went with it.) As always, I want more of the women. The author (probably the author, but definitely the authorial voice) is wildly misogynistic, where all women are essentially defined in terms of their fuckability and/or relationships with men (specific and general), and very few women are ever really the POV character. Kay is occasionally, and possibly Lucy, but that’s it. But they are all defined by their (sexual) relationships with the Corleone men – wives, lovers, mothers. I want more of the women as women. That can include the men, but no woman is defined entirely by her relationship with a man.

Apollonia says one word in the novel: “Grazie.” Who is she? Give her some flesh, a spark, to be more than just a pretty shell. What does she want? What moves and motivates her? How would she have fit in with the New York family if she’d lived?

Mama Corleone is much the same, she turns up for a moment here and there to (magnificently) berate one of her sons or to feed somebody, but she also feels like a thread of steel in the lives of those around her, holding them up, but it’s unspoken. I love her Catholicism and how it both sustains her and supports her family, and how she converts Kay, and they go together to pray for the souls of their husbands. The ending of the novel is divine.

Kay is an outsider to the world for more than just having girl parts, and I’m curious how that changes her experience, and particularly how she relates to her mother-in-law (and sister-in-law) through cultural and generational differences.

Lucy’s character arc is literally defined by her vagina and she willingly and semi-knowingly lets herself continue to be used by the family through the hotels, but there is more to her than that. Like what? How does she balance what she wants to know, what she guesses, what she thinks, what she absolutely and definitely knows? Is Sonny a lingering ghost through her life?

I don’t really know what I want, just more of the women.

Prompts:

Apollonia and the American dream: what does she actually want? Is Michael a way to get it? (Children, comfort, fortune, adventure, love, other?)

Does Apollonia love Michael? Does it matter? Was her courtship/marriage a pleasant or a horrible experience? What did she think her future would look like?

What does Kay want? What does she think their future will look like?

The same questions for Kay as Apollonia, possibly different answers. Compare the women, be thoughtful or go dark.

I’m always intrigued by Kay’s Catholicism, especially in the book. The movie’s ending happens too, but then Kay goes to church with Mama Corleone and prays for Michael’s soul.

Michael’s grief at losing both women in his life, in very different ways. (Does he acknowledge them as women and individuals, or only as wives/lovers?)

A missing happy moment for any of these characters or either couple.

A contrast between weddings – Connie’s, Apollonia’s, Kay’s, others.

What if Apollonia had lived, and met Kay?

What if Apollonia lives?

I feel like Kay makes a “better” American wife for Michael, in the world he wants to move in. Would the path have unfolded differently with a different woman at his side?

Does the ghost of Apollonia haunt Michael at later points in his life?

How does Carmela respond to the milestones in her husband’s life? The shooting of Don Fanucci, having Clemenza and Tessio in her home, the Don’s first shooting, the rise in their fortunes, that magnificent carpet?

What if Apollonia had lived, and they’d returned to New York, and she’d lived in the compound? What place would she find in that family, in that life, in that country? What would Mama Corleone have thought of her new daughter-in-law? Would this have impacted Michael, how would he show it? Could Apollonia be happy? Or a very mixed bag?

#dear author letter #boston legal #jane eyre #memoirs of a geisha #the godfather #yuletide #yuletide 2023

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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So I wrote last Friday about a few shows I’m watching/catching up on, and yet I feel like the pull of the Cherry Magic movie keeps bringing me back and demanding that I write more about it, which, like, I’m not sure how much more of me the tag can handle, lol, but besides that --

It’s gotten me wondering over the weekend, what is it about certain shows that I can’t shake off for days, even weeks?

The last time I felt this way was when Old Fashion Cupcake ended, and I warned my partner at the time -- I will literally be checked out during the last episode and for a few days after. (And he was SO SUPPORTIVE, THANK GOD, because he sees me get dizzy with art sometimes.)

And I’m wondering, so OFC, and now CM. What’s happening here?

It might be a couple things for me regarding Cherry Magic (and I think this’ll be my last meta on this, because, like Kurosawa, I don’t know how much more of these analyses my heart can take, ha).

I wrote last week that for me, the movie CENTERS on the development of family between Adachi and Kurosawa. I can say for certain that doramas that center family -- particularly in the context of non-het relationships, or other scenarios that challenge the majority cishet mindset and societal structures -- are probably my favorite types of shows to watch overall.

I think that’s because, in part, when you’re either creating family in a dorama/drama, or facing/challenging family, the characters we’re watching are forced to face a kind of internal and external examination of their own intimate interactions with the world that, as viewers, in our daily lives, we might not be inclined to face. As human beings, many of us aren’t CHALLENGED on a daily basis to simply exist -- likely because the majority of us also belong to the majority cishet population, which doesn’t face the kind of pressures that minority populations face.

However, even despite being a part of a cishet majority population, life is not easy for so many of us. I’ve hinted before in previous posts about the difficulties I’ve had with my non-chosen family that raised me. I’m as “normal” as they come -- cishet, employed, parent, etc. And yet I was considered a black sheep for not subscribing to a cultural flow and mindset of how to VIEW the world while I was growing up.

So, just watching the challenges that minority characters, in Asian dramas, have to face, in their Asian families and societies, and to see these characters either act out and/or verbalize their processing of these moments -- it gives me so much lift. And I think that’s specifically because, especially when I was growing up, those intimate internal and external processing moments were just beyond me. I knew I was going through them as a child and a young adult. But I couldn’t have ever processed this kind of GROWTH with my own family, or even with the friends I had at the time.

And that’s probably why I connect with material like Cherry Magic -- and even Old Fashion Cupcake, which didn’t center family in the actual series, but had a character in Togawa who was a DEEPLY processing character that helped Nozue frame out his internal struggles with tremendous eloquence.

Two scenes I keep thinking back to in the Cherry Magic movie are the chess scene with Kurosawa and Adachi’s father -- and then I jump to the beach scene after the guys have met with Kurosawa’s parents.

The chess scene ends with Adachi looking at his dad and Kurosawa.

The beach scene begins with the guys walking from a pulled-out camera shot. To me, the sound of their voices and their gaits make it seem like they’re almost limping out of the moment with Kurosawa’s family. And while the chess scene really focused on happiness, the beach scene was focused first on processing fear.

Like I said in my last meta about family -- if you’re not Asian, you may not grasp how HUGELY significant these scenes are to an Asian audience. If Adachi were a real person, watching his father play chess with his same-sex partner, with his father blessing their union, thanking Kurosawa for choosing Adachi -- it might seem a bit more than unreal to your average cishet viewer in Asia. If I’m channeling Adachi in that moment, I might be thinking -- HOLY SHIT, IS THIS REAL? IS THIS HAPPENING?

The beach scene, on the other hand, begins more realistically for me. The guys were shot through with fear. They talk about how shaky Adachi was, how he was glad he didn’t have the magic anymore as a crutch. Kurosawa says he was panicked about his mother and the cake.

I think these two scenes are big examples of why I’m not letting the movie go from my heart quite yet. On the one hand, the beach scene just takes me BACK to so many moments in my life where I had to stand up to my nuclear family, just to get torn down -- simply for wanting to live a life that seemed “normal” in Western society, such as wanting to date or wanting to marry the partner I chose, or wanting to be a working mom (instead of staying at home with the kids).

On the other hand, the chess scene gives me so much hope -- hope that I can be a parent like Adachi’s parents, and give my own kids the calm comfort of acceptance as I never had growing up.

I think that’s why, as I untwist this in meditation, I have a hard time letting go of gorgeous content like this. When you see GROWTH happening in the context of potentially oppressive and submissive contexts -- and you see BELOVED CHARACTERS just work through that shit, together, in love, in partnership -- it’s really overwhelming. And especially if you know the ins and outs of intricate and demanding cultures like those in Asia, and you see characters work together to blast through stereotypes and conflicts -- it just gives me a lot of hope in global humanity that these messages in these shows we love are being heard.

What so lifted me about Old Fashion Cupcake was that Togawa was the conduit through which Nozue was able to find himself, breaking out of the “ojisan” shell that Nozue had built around himself. What lifts me about Cherry Magic is that Adachi is the conduit through which Kurosawa can explore his weaknesses; and that Kurosawa is the conduit through which Adachi can realize what value he brings into the world.

All of that intimacy, being unwound before our eyes, complicated emotions and revealing processing -- that’s what ties me to these specific shows, and the quiet nature of this emotional processing is exactly what calms my heart when I keep coming back to them.

Okay, I think that’s IT for my Cherry Magic meta. Seriously, though, bless Toyota Yu-sensei for taking me to places in my heart and mind that I didn’t know existed.

AND: final ep of Kabe Koji tonight. I might not be ready -- which may also explain this continued foggy brainspace!

#cherry magic #cherry magic meta #cherry magic the movie #cherry magic the movie meta #adachi x kurosawa #kurosawa x adachi #adachi kiyoshi #kurosawa yuichi #akaso eiji #machida keita

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wat-the-cur · 1 year

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I’ve been thinking just recently, about what I’m calling “Art Kid Crisis”. It might already have another name, but that’s what I’ve been calling it. By this I mean the breakdown someone who was the “Art Kid” growing up has, when they find they are not actually as skilled as they believed, or were told they were. Me, this person is me. But, I’m sure a lot of other artists, or former artists have experienced this. So, if you are like me, you liked drawing as a child. You drew a lot and you had some small talent for it. You were always eager to do artistic projects in school, and were consistently praised for your efforts and enthusiasm. Your peers thought you skilled and told you so. Again, if you were like me, you might not have excelled in any academic subjects. Art was the only thing you were any good at, or at least that you liked and were praised for. And so, you got the reputation of being “The Art Kid”.

I feel that you don’t fully begin to identify as an “Art Kid”, until you reach an age where you are expected to have ambitions and goals for the future. Then, suddenly, art becomes a serious business. The issue often is, though, that you are given the belief that art is something that you need to be taught, and it is often difficult to find anyone willing to teach. By this I mean that you are led to believe that you cannot learn to draw, paint, etc on your own steam, you need to go somewhere and learn from a tutor. And depending on where you go, there is no guarantee that any fundamentals will actually be taught, and self expression without formal guidance is all that is encouraged. This is perfectly alright for some, but for those who hoped to be able to accurately represent their ideas by the end of their formal education frequently become stuck. What is more, the pressures of higher education can wring the joy out of learning any subject. Of course, plenty of younger people, especially now, come to the realisation that they can learn the fundamentals themselves, using books, tutorials, or observation. This is wonderful. But, when you are an Art Kid in your twenties, discovering that innumerable children of fourteen have made progress that you have only dreamed of, it is dispiriting. Doubtless, by this point you have been tasked to do multiple things on your Art Kid reputation, only to find yourself struggling. You realise that there are giant gaps in your knowledge, and that your skill level is no where near as high as you had believed. You think of the time you’ve wasted, the steps you should have taken earlier. The one thing you were good at, you’re actually not good at at all. And now you feel it’s too late.

There is plenty to be said about the failings of societal expectations and the education system. But, that is not what this is about. This is not to blame anyone, no even oneself, for not being where one thought one ought to be.

This is more to say, try again. Try again and start again. If art is still something you want to pursue, for whatever reason, don’t be trapped by your previous reputation, or vision of yourself. Be brave, be kind to yourself, and begin again. Start at the bottom and be willing to learn as a child would learn. There is no shame in it. Childhood is when one tends to learn best, and learn with curiosity. And as a child, what do you know? Nothing.

So don’t be ashamed of drawing simple shapes, or reading an elementary explanation of perspective. Never feel bad about your skill level, or your learning methods, and certainly not your routine. You don’t have to wake up at 5:00AM. You don’t have to draw for three hours a day. You don’t have to do the same thing every day. Know yourself, work to your energy levels, and your interest. Challenge yourself, but in small doses. As I said, be kind to yourself. No one is expecting you to be making masterpieces after a year, or even five years.

You will spend your whole life growing. And you are in control of your own growth.

#rambling #personal #wat speaks #self care #growth #art #drawing #personal enrichment #keep going #keep trying

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iwannaban0nym0us · 1 year

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I posted 4,940 times in 2022

95 posts created (2%)

4,845 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chaserofstarsandtheabyss

@coonazz74

@the-qalankhais-sweetheart

@tocautiouslygo

@the-starlight-papers

I tagged 998 of my posts in 2022

#me - 121 posts

#personal - 27 posts

#snw spoilers - 25 posts

#ex - 21 posts

#ex-grayfriend - 20 posts

#vent - 20 posts

#star trek - 17 posts

#trans - 17 posts

#queer - 16 posts

#picard spoilers - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the fool is a distorted reflection of the witch – he is as intelligent as her but while she chooses seclusion he functions close to power. s

My Top Posts in 2022:

** SNW episode 10 spoilers ahead!!**

First of all ADMIRAL PIKE!?!?! I love how they kept the uniform from the movies but added the little touch of the SNW texture

Ok now we gotta talk about Captain Kirk what did they do to him, that’s not my Captain Kirk. That is not what he looks like and he’s not nearly brash enough.

Anyway, putting aside my Kirk complaints, holy shit that episode was great. Being the massive Trekkie that I am I went and rewatched the episode that it was referencing as soon as I finished that episode. The amount of lines that the kept the same at the beginning of the episode is incredible, even some of the way Kirk moves around the bridge in tos is very similar to how Pike moves around the bridge in snw. Like y’all SNW clearly did it’s research and that makes my Trekkie heart very happy.

18 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

The Black Ring

Black ring Right middle finger A fuck you to Fucking anyone

It’s a physical reminder Something to rub When I feel Like an other Like I’m missing out That I’m too queer Or not queer enough It grounds me Reminds me I’m not alone

It’s a signal A way to let others know “Hey, you’re not alone” It’s subtle But powerful It’s simple But meaningful

It’s a piece of me I almost never take it off It represents a part of me That can’t otherwise Be seen and understood Even with the ring Only some people care To see and understand But I do and some do And that’s enough for me

Black ring Right middle finger A reminder A Symbol A part of me How I say “I’m Proud, Proud to be Ace.”

27 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

Queer as in Myself

Queer As in finally Myself Queer as in Confident and relieved Queer as in Free

I found My true self Within my queerness No more Seeing another person When I look In a mirror No more wondering If something is Wrong with me No more Endless confusion Queerness allowed me To finally be Me

I found A new sense of Confidence In my queerness A relief from Confining pressures Allowed me to be BOLD To show confidence In who I am Without fear Queerness showed me Strength I didn’t know I had In me

I found Escape In queerness A world Where I could Just be Queerness lifted me From unnecessary requirements And allowed me To Live My Life

Queerness has given me A home And a space to discover Who I am And for that I am Profoundly Grateful

33 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

staff start banning terfs challenge

51 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Queer Poetry Collection

Trans Hate

Being trans comes with many joys, finally discovering yourself, finding people who understand you the euphoria of looking like yourself for the first time the pride in breaking the chains of the gender binary It also comes with some unavoidable pain not feeling like your body is your own living some of your life as someone you’re not your voice not sounding like you clothes never fitting quite right and some easily avoidable suffering like societal oppression being abused and made fun of just for living as our true selves being referred to by terms that aren’t your own

Greg Abbott, Ken Paxton Ron DeSantis, Joe Harding Ted Cruz, Donald Trump theses men do nothing to help instead they encourage the torment and through their positions of power they spread their harmful ideas transphobia snakes its way through the republican party spreading it’s tendrils through the darkest corners

Greg Abbott Ken Paxton and their long pointy nails ripping trans children from their parents drawing blood where lives could be spared blocking the pathways to happy healthier lives trans kids in Texas directly under fire trans kids everywhere can feel their pain

Ron DeSantis Joe Harding and their massive obnoxious mouths talking over anyone who’s different or odd running their mouths as if they’re better than the rest of us stopping children from sharing their stories or even learning that they are not alone other people feel that way it’s not wrong to be queer queerness should be celerbrated not erased from our vocabulary

Ted Cruz and his two sided hair cut viewed from one side he is a protector from the other side he is a transphobe one perspective buys into his tale of biological supremacy among children, kids who just want to play the other view point sees the evil forcing kids to hide their true self or leave the game that they love

Donald Trump and his blaring orange skin the bright color acts as a beacon calling similar minded people to his side gathering support for causes that deserve no recognition preventing people from serving their country because their gender doesn’t align with your expectations preventing brave men women and people from serving simply because of what’s in their pants

Six fallen saviors leaders turned corrupt they were supposed to empower the people they serve instead they terrorize them powerful people, political leaders they are supposed to guide the way to a better future not turn us around and send us back to bigotry oppression and hatred

It Hurts

“Women’s reproductive rights” “After a woman gives birth” “Her” “He or she” “Girls” “Ladies and gentleman” [Women’s room] [Men’s room] “Girl’s team” “Boy’s team” “Son or daughter” “Mom and dad” “Brother or sister”

Everyone pretends I don’t exist Everyone tries to deny my existence Everyone implies I’m not there Everything is structured to ignore my existence Every tradition pretends I’m not real

It hurts I try to hide it I shrug it off I ignore it I say it’s ok

But it isn’t Every Little Stab Hurts

I. Exist. Too. Just because I don’t fit Into your neat little boxes Doesn’t mean I’m not real Doesn’t mean you can just ignore me I have a uterus too I play on this team too I’m listening to your speeches too I exist in this world too

How about “Reproductive rights” “After a person gives birth” “Their” “They” “United” “Folks” [Bathroom] “Coach A’s team” “Coach B’s team” “Child” “Parents” “Sibling”

Just change a few words It’s not very hard And it can make a world of a difference It can make me feel seen and heard It can make me feel real It can make me feel like I have a place in this world Because I do Weather or not you care to acknowledge me I am here and I am queer

Transitional Years

Alone Scared What am I supposed to do What is gender How do I stay safe How do I explain these feelings What is going on inside me What is going on around me

I am so glad that time is over The fear The questioning The confusion No more hiding who I am just because I don’t understand it And I’m afraid the world won’t either No more hiding inside Afraid of the plague that’s taken over the world

I can be free now I can be myself I can be unapologetically myself I can be a normal kid

I’m never getting those years back Those 2 years spent hiding in the darkness of my room Or all the years before spent believing in a lie I lost my transitional years To a plague And to a different kind of transition

I went in one person And came out a totally new version of myself

New name New pronouns New perspective on the world

I’m not alone in my struggles, I wish younger me knew that Other people feel the way you do And everyone is there for you You don’t have to question alone It’s ok to let others know you’re confused and scared

I’m happy for my friends Who aren’t going through that alone I’m glad I can be there to support them To show them that they aren’t alone To show them the light at the end of the tunnel To be an example of a happy ending

I just wish younger me was that brave Younger me was too afraid of the unknown To admit to anyone else that I didn’t know Didn’t know who I was Instead of letting others help me to find myself I hid myself from everyone I hid myself from myself I denied who I am Because I thought I had to know To pick To tell everyone I thought I had to know who I was Before I could tell people who I’m not I thought I had to pick between Being truly myself And being a part of my team I thought if I told someone I would have to tell everyone So I chose hiding I chose the past I chose my team

Sure, it made me who I am But couldn’t have there been An easier path to this point? We’ll never know At least for now, I’m just happy to have made it here I hid away for 2 years And in the process I found myself I pulled back the coat of lies That I had been building up my whole life I eased out of it And I burned it The freedom I found Was well worth the pain That the path here caused I am myself And I am never turning back

The Queer Fight

Gay marriage was legalized In the united states Within my lifetime And I’m still in highschool

See the full post

58 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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advocatesachinkashyap · 2 months

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Divorce Case: Different Laws for Different Faiths and Religions

In India, getting a divorce isn’t as straightforward as in western. Here, the rules are tied to your religion and the law. Let’s break it down.

Different Laws for Different Faiths and Religions

In India, divorce rules vary depending on your religion. Here’s a quick overview:

Hindu Marriage Act: If you’re Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, or Sikh, this law applies to you. You can file for divorce if your partner deserts you, converts to another religion, or has a serious illness.

Indian Divorce Act: Christians follow this law. You can divorce if both agree, if one partner is mentally ill, or if there’s been abuse.

Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act: Muslims can divorce for reasons like desertion, cruelty, or if the husband can’t provide for his wife.

Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act: This law covers Parsis, who follow Zoroastrianism. They can divorce for various reasons, including mutual consent or cruelty.

Special Marriage Act: This applies to civil marriages for people of any religion. You can divorce after a year for reasons like adultery or cruelty.

The Divorce Process

If both partners agree, they can discuss with the best divorce lawyer in india and file for divorce together. Otherwise, one spouse can file against the other. The process usually takes about six to 18 months for mutual divorces and longer for contested ones.

Why So Few Divorces?

Despite rising divorce rates worldwide, India has a low divorce rate, less than one percent. This is partly due to societal pressure to stay married, especially for women.

Long Process, Social Stigma

Divorce in India is a lengthy process and in this process both parties need right guidance from the divorce lawyer and law firm , often involving counselling and other steps. Many people face social and cultural stigmas, which can make it harder.

Regional Differences

Divorce rates vary across India, with more divorces in areas with matrilineal cultures and fewer in more patriarchal regions.

Conclusion

Divorce in India is possible but comes with its challenges. It’s a legal process tied to religion and culture, and societal pressures can make it even harder. But divorce lawyer can help with this crucial process and it’s a necessary step towards a better life.

#divorce lawyer #divorce lawyer in delhi #divorce #divorce advocate in delhi #best divorce lawyer in delhi

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menofthenorth · 2 months

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Join us for our transformational workshop 🗓️ Date: February 26th, 2024 📍 Location: 912 La Ronge - Support Center 🕕 Time: 6:00pm - 8:30pm Hey guys! Are you feeling overwhelmed by anger or struggling to manage it effectively? You are NOT alone. Join us for an insightful workshop on: "Understanding and Managing Anger in Men!" Why attend? ✅ Learn about triggers and effects of anger in men. ✅ Discover practical strategies for managing anger in healthy ways. ✅ Connect with others who understand what you're going through. Understanding and managing anger in men is a crucial topic that delves into the complexities of emotions and societal expectations. Men, like anyone else, experience anger, but often face unique challenges in expressing and handling it due to cultural norms surrounding masculinity. This workshop aims to shine a light on the triggers, effects, and coping mechanisms associated with male anger. One key aspect of understanding anger in men is recognizing the societal pressure to conform to traditional masculine ideals, which often discourage vulnerability and emotional expression beyond anger. This can lead to suppressed emotions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. By exploring these societal influences, attendees can gain insight into how these expectations may affect their own experiences with anger. This workshop is aimed to provide practical strategies for managing anger in healthy and constructive ways. From identifying triggers to practicing mindfulness and effective communication, participants will learn tools to navigate their emotions more effectively. By fostering a supportive environment where men can openly discuss their struggles with anger, the workshop aims to break down stigmas and encourage connection and growth. Ultimately, understanding and managing anger in men is about empowering individuals to take control of their emotional well-being and cultivate healthier relationships with themselves and others. Don't miss out on this opportunity to gain valuable insights and connect with a supportive community. Remember, you are NOT alone. See you there! #MOTN #YANA #legends #AngerManagement #MenSupportingMen #YouAreNotAlone #MenOfTheNorth

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sumathihospital · 3 months

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Beyond the Stork: Busting Common Myths About Infertility in Madurai

The journey to parenthood is rarely a straight line, and for many couples in Madurai, the road can be particularly bumpy due to infertility. In a society where family and lineage hold immense weight, the struggle to conceive can be shrouded in secrecy and shame, fueled by a web of misinformation and outdated myths. Today, we’re taking a stand against these misconceptions, shedding light on the truth about infertility and offering hope to couples seeking the right path forward.

Myth #1: Infertility is a woman’s problem.

Reality: Hold onto your hats, ladies and gents, because this one’s a doozy! While societal pressures often point the finger at women, the truth is far more nuanced. Research by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) reveals that male factor infertility accounts for approximately 35% of cases, with female factors contributing to 35%, and the remaining 30% remaining unexplained or involving both partners. So, let’s ditch the blame game and focus on working together towards a solution.

Myth #2: Age doesn’t matter as long as you’re healthy.

Reality: While a healthy lifestyle can certainly boost fertility, age does play a significant role, especially for women. Studies by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) show a significant decline in egg quality and quantity after 35, with pregnancy rates dropping sharply from 20–25% at age 25 to 5% at age 40. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but it emphasizes the importance of seeking guidance early if you’re facing challenges.

Myth #3: You just haven’t relaxed enough.

Reality: While stress management can be beneficial for overall health and well-being, it’s not a magic bullet for infertility. Suggesting that couples simply “relax” can be incredibly dismissive and invalidating. Research by the American Psychological Association (APA) acknowledges the significant emotional toll of infertility, including anxiety, depression, and relationship strain. Instead of minimizing their struggles, let’s offer empathy and support.

Myth #4: IVF is the only option.

Reality: The world of fertility treatment is vast and brimming with options! While IVF is a powerful tool, it’s not the only game in town. From ovulation induction and intrauterine insemination (IUI) to minimally invasive procedures like laparoscopy, there’s a spectrum of treatments tailored to individual needs. Seeking consultation at a best infertility centre like Sumathi Hospital in Madurai can help you explore all available options and find the best fit for your journey.

Myth #5: Adopting a child will magically cure your infertility.

Reality: Adoption can be a beautiful way to build a family, but it’s important to remember that it’s a separate path, not a “cure” for infertility. Both experiences involve unique emotional complexities, and conflating them can be hurtful and misleading. Let’s celebrate the diverse paths to parenthood, respecting each individual’s choices and experiences.

By dismantling these myths, we can create a more supportive and understanding environment for couples struggling with infertility in Madurai. Remember, you’re not alone. Seek guidance from a reliable ivf center in Madurai like Sumathi Hospital, where experienced professionals can provide comprehensive care and support throughout your journey. Embrace the open dialogue, shed the stigma, and rewrite your story, one truth-filled step at a time.

Sources:

American Society for Reproductive Medicine: https://www.asrm.org/

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development: https://nichd.nih.gov/

American Psychological Association: https://www.apa.org/

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and should not be interpreted as medical advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional for any questions or concerns you may have about infertility.

#best ivf treatment in madurai #fertility center in madurai #fertility clinic in madurai #multispeciality hospital in madurai #ivf fertility hospitals #best infertility treatment in madurai #ivf #fertilitycenter #bestivftreatmentinmadurai #popular hospitals in madurai

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classysansy · 4 months

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⚠️PSA:⚠️

There’s no such thing as being behind in life or being behind in society…the only things along those lines that are real are social constructs, societal bias and comformity, generational trauma, closed-mindedness, desperation for validation from other people, the illusion of superiority in the form of unnecessary, unwanted, and unasked for judgement, the fear the government specifically designs to control the people to get more money and power, peer pressure, and unhealthy perfectionism. Don’t be a sheep, allow yourself to be a unique, beautifully imperfect human…life has no set schedule or manual, so stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t be afraid to be different or go against the societal/social norm. Learn to be okay with being controversial, and unlearn society’s unrealistic standards. You’re uniquely you. It’s not your job to keep everyone else happy. However it is your job to keep your peace and to do what’s best for your life, your plans, and your mental health…even if it upsets people. You’re worth it. Stop caring about what other people think of you and other people’s opinions…they’re just that, opinions. It’s time to stop fearing other people, they’re only human, just like you, with their own flaws and challenges and personal hells to go through. If something doesn’t affect you, just shut up about it and don’t butt into other people’s business. It’s not your life, it’s theirs, and you’re not them. And to incorrectly assume you know exactly what someone might be going through or what it’ll take to cut them into one of society’s boring, sheep, conformist cookies, is just so wrong and sad and pathetic on so many levels. Again, you’re not them, you’re not in their mind, you’re not in their situation, so shut up about things you know nothing about, doesn’t matter if they’re friends or family. It’ll just make things worse if you judge and assume. And things you say literally have the ability to stick with people and rewire their brains and change their brain chemistry, so don’t be the reason people start thinking that they’re not enough or even the reason they start considering unaliving themself. Be the opposite. Perfection doesn’t and will never exist, no matter what society says. Fuck society and their unrealistic, engineered standards. Don’t add to society’s toxicity, half of them don’t deserve the time of day. Your imperfections are beautiful. Additonally, always try to spread love, positivity, understanding, unconditional support, and empathy wherever and whenever you can, you never know what someone else might be going through and you could even be the person to restore their faith in humanity 💖

I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too, even for the baby steps. Some progress is better than no progress at all, ignore the haters and don’t let them put you back to square one…and don’t let them make you even think that you’re back at square one when they’re not you and don’t have your mind or your experiences, it’s not their life, and they have no right to judge your progress, especially when I know half of your progress most people are too blind to see…I see your progress, and you’re doing absolutely amazing 😊

And no, this isn’t a copypasta I randomly found on the internet, these are simply my unfiltered thoughts that have been building up for quite awhile now and wanted to share 🩵

#psa #life #advice #self love

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sobriquett · 2 years

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Dear Yuletide Author 2022

Dear Yuletide Author,

Thank you very much for writing for me, or at least thinking of writing for me! Yuletide is my favourite time of year, and I wish you an unending supply of creativity and may the words come smoothly and silkily at your whim! (If you’re also a treat writer then doubly so!)

Treats are enabled and very, very welcome! If you are treating, please don’t feel bound by my character requests if you have an idea but remember that your fic will need to go in the Madness collection if it doesn’t feature Uhtred, Jane, Margaret and John, or Nobu and Sayuri!

Please find below a summary of things I love in fic, things I don’t love, and then some further details and prompts by fandom. Also, if you’re looking for a beta reader in any of these fandoms (or any other fandom referenced in past dear author letters or on my AO3 page or Tumblr page, please get in touch!

I am also happily signed up to Crueltide, Yuleporn, Season’s Treatings and Yule Be First! Many of my prompts overlap multiple categories. Please treat any prompt in any way you like, for any or all challenges as you like.

As you can tell by my overuse of exclamation marks, I am excited!

Likes:

DNWs:

A/B/O Dynamics | Bestiality | Body Horror | Gore | Graphic On-Screen Depiction of Torture | Modern/Mundane AU | Mpreg | Explicit On-Screen Non-Con | Out of Context AU (e.g. coffee shop, college AU) | Scat | Vore (The Last Kingdom clarification: implied/referenced/off-screen/non-gratuitous sexual violence is fine, as sexual violence is particularly a fact of life in The Last Kingdom and a reality faced by women of all stations - in fact, I would really enjoy a thoughtful fic about that because of its significance in the historical context. I would simply prefer not to receive direct and explicit "rapefic". All fandom clarification: Anything canon/canon-compliant is broadly fine, such as description of/reference to canonical injury/torture, etc. Again, I just don't want graphic on-screen depiction. Graphic violence is cool, especially in battle contexts! It's specifically torture that's my squick. Please ask the mods if you're unsure.)

For Crueltide:

Darkfic Likes

Darkfic DNWs:

For Yuleporn:

Smut-Specific Likes:

Honestly, I am up for near anything that feels like it fits into the canon context and isn't on my DNW list. Bonus points for anything I haven't thought of that is really contextually appropriate!

Smut DNWs:

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1. The Last Kingdom (TV)

Requested character: Uhtred of Bebbanburg

Tag set characters: Aethelflaed, Alfred the Great, Aelswith, Beocca, Finan, Hild, Pyrlig

At time of writing, I am reading book seven eight nine of the Bernard Cornwell series, but I binged my way through the TV show twice over the summer and fell in love.

I have only requested Uhtred because I would be delighted with any fic with him and any or all of the other characters in the tag set. That said, Uhtred doesn’t have to be the main character if you prefer. I love Outsider POV and he’s an almost alien figure compared to the people he lives among, and I am interested in all eight characters in the tag set. Please feel free to include any book content you like (I’ll almost certainly be done with the whole series by reveals), or not worry about it at all.

I have no particular ships in this fandom, although I enjoy Aethelflaed/Uhtred and Uhtred & Everyone. Ship whoever you want with whoever you want, if you can make it work. (I was about to say I didn’t want Uhtred/Aelswith, Uhtred/Beocca or Uhtred/Pyrlig but actually that first one is deeply intriguing to me, and I’ll read anything you can make me believe in.)

What I Love About This Fandom

The different worldviews, values, priorities, etc. between the different characters: the conflicting interests of ealdormen and thegns, kings, Danish leaders. The Danish reluctance to lose men is interesting, as well as the way their armies fall apart at the first defeat, no matter how individually formidable the warriors and leaders. Alfred’s building of Burhs, and the way Wessex and the Saxon kingdoms usually prefer to be on the defensive. Uhtred’s absolute scorn for Christianity, versus the way it sweeps through his world and the people he loves against all reason. I’d particularly enjoy Yuletide/Christmas fic with conflict between Uhtred’s religion and Christianity. Also, political intrigue and war strategy and close friendships between unlikely pairs (and likely ones) and batshit plans that work out.

General Prompts

Uhtred dealing with Aelswith living at Bebbanburg. How does she enjoy her room with a sea view? How does she try to exert her influence? Do they become grudging friends, or does Uhtred plot to get her out, or both?

Finan and Uhtred are brothers in arms for decades. Missing moments, moments where that relationship isn’t as close, moments where that relationship gets even closer?

A missing moment for Uhtred and Aethelflaed. Does she ever break her oath, or come close to it? Separately or additionally: Aethelflaed is caught breaking her oath.

I enjoy fics featuring character death or its aftermath and every tag set character loses someone or is lost themselves.

Alfred’s perspective on some of Uhtred’s nonsense? Alfred’s reflections on his deathbed? Love, hate, madness, loyalty, obligation, respect, scorn – they’re one messy tangle of thorns for these two.

Uhtred collects bastards: Osferth, Aethelstan, Sihtric (maybe more books than TV), etc., but is not a great father to his own sons. He has a difficult relationship with his own father but a warm and close one with Ragnar the Fearless. A fic about father/son relationships, adopted or by blood?

A fic about Uhtred's reunion and relationship with his second son, who appears at the very end of the series.

Is Uhtred ever haunted by his ghosts?

One of Uhtred’s plans goes wrong.

A prophecy or seer spelling doom, and someone/many people believe it. Does this drive them all to that doom?

Yule Be First

Possibilities: Uhtred of Bebbanburg & Beocca, Uhtred of Bebbanburg & Pyrlig,

There are no relationships for Uhtred and the priests he actually liked: Beocca, his childhood teacher, and Pyrlig, the Welsh warrior priest who fought Sigefrid and won. I would love any stories of mutual respect here, or their relationship over time.

(Five?) Things Uhtred learned from Beocca? Was this different to what he learned from Ragnar, or was Uhtred learning from Beocca all through his life, whether he wanted to or not? (Five?) Battles where Uhtred fought alongside Pyrlig? Another time that Pyrlig and Uhtred conspire to shock and surprise using Pyrlig's unlikely skills. Drinking and commiserating. Bonus: Crueltide crossover, looking at Thyra or Beocca’s death.

Crueltide

I will suspend my DNWs of gore and non-con here, but would still prefer to avoid graphic depiction of torture. (Referenced/threatened is fine.)

The horror of the shield wall. The spectre of sexual violence in the lives of these women. Seven kings will die, and all of Uhtred’s women. Prophecy, especially self-fulfilling. A battle is lost. A bad death. A hall burning.

Season’s Treatings

Yule vs. Christmas! Uhtred celebrates Yule, as do many of his men, but others (and the majority of people in Wessex and Mercia) celebrate Christmas, and their festivities are very different. I would enjoy either a delightfully pagan Yule fic, or a fic exploring the contrast or how the two are balance on Uhtred’s estate/at Bebbanburg (at a point in canon that suits the author!)

Yuleporn

I mostly read F/M but am happy with F/F, M/M or whatever else takes your fancy. I am up for anything, with any combination of these characters or other characters from the show. (Please note that if these don’t include Uhtred, you’ll need to put them in Madness.)

Battle joy spills over. On the march/on the run. A different form of palace intrigue. Keeping to the letter if not the spirit of Aethelflaed's oath.

2. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

Requested character: Jane Eyre

Tag set characters: Adele Varens, Bertha Mason, Edward Rochester, Grace Poole, Helen Burns, Jane Eyre, Maria Temple

What I Love About This Fandom

This is one of my favourite novels ever, but I read a new story each time I read it. I had a different experience of it as a child, teenager, young adult, and so on – and with time, I’ve come to see Rochester as more of a villain, and then also as a victim of circumstances and a product of his environment, and to increasingly believe that Jane Eyre lies to us. She’s also every bit as prejudiced and superior as those she criticises, but/because she’s also a product of her world. But I still love her, and love that she says she got a happy ending. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay happy, or even that she was telling the truth.

From a fic perspective, the novel is a first person autobiography. Have fun with that! Jane Eyre is an unreliable narrator. The novel is her autobiography and I don’t believe that the story she told is necessarily the story that happened. What did she conceal? What did she tweak? What did she exaggerate or minimise? Is she trying to tell a moral story? Does her faith endure and guide her quite as steadfastly, perfectly and purely as she says? I adore fics that play with this idea.

Despite my personal lack of religion, I enjoy stories that feature faith and conflicting faiths. That’s the case with the first three of my fandoms – Christianity and personal faith are a major influence in all of them, and Uhtred’s paganism. I’m shoehorning this in here for want of a better place to put it in the letter! If that’s your jam, great. If it’s not… I can’t write it either, which is why I appreciate it so much when I read it.

General Prompts

Does Jane ever meet her Reed cousins again after Mrs Reed’s death? What would they think of her changed circumstances? Perhaps she calls in to the French abbey, or comes across her other cousin in society. Does Jane become – or put on the airs of – a great lady, and put them in their place? Or does she forgive, warmly, and try to cultivate relationships because she remembers what it was like to be alone, as her cousins may both become?

What if the Thornfield wedding isn’t interrupted? (I’m writing this myself too, very slowly.)

If Jane and Rochester have children, what does that do to Adele’s place in the family? Is she beloved sister or unwanted burden? (Any POV here – hers, Rochester’s, an outsider. I can’t see Jane considering her a burden but I could perhaps see Jane being torn in too many directions and having no time left for Adele, leaving her bereft.)

What if Adele’s mother returned to collect her, or for some other (nefarious) purpose?

Post-canon happiness?

Post-canon unhappiness?

Canon divergence at any point.

A missing moment from the engagement - an evening spent together, a walk, a trip out. Tension, anticipation, uneasiness, a sense that all's not quite right that can't be entirely set aside. Rochester trying to claim more affection than Jane is yet willing to give, with either a playful or darker edge.

A missing moment between the interrupted wedding and Jane fleeing Thornfield? (See also Yuleporn!)

How does Rochester discover Jane’s missing? How does Adele find out? Mrs Fairfax? How do they all react? What is that day like? (Jane's absence would almost be the character in this case. She doesn't have to appear, she's still the focus.)

Yule Be First

Jane Eyre & Maria Temple

Crueltide

So many options!

Rochester dies in the fire. Jane dies on the moors. The marriage isn’t interrupted and then Rochester’s a bigamist and Jane a fallen woman when it comes out. (I have started writing this but not finished it.) They don’t have a happily ever after. Jane goes with St. John and it doesn’t end well. What if they do have a night of madness before Jane flees Thornfield, where just for a moment she gives in? Or is coerced? (Dubcon over non-con though please! Bonus: Yuleporn fun.) Remember, she’s an unreliable narrator – if it had happened, she just wouldn’t have told us. Jane tries to put Adele back together, as she’s traumatised by the sudden loss of her home, the dismissal of her nurse Sophie, the loss of Jane, the wrath/rage of Rochester, her cruel treatment at school, etc. Does Jane come to see Rochester as a villain? Does she find herself corrupted, tarnished or lessened in his eyes in some way when he comes to marry/possess her and the sharper, darker side of his character turns on her once she’s off her pedestal? Does Jane resent being Rochester’s carer, his eyes and hands?

Season’s Treatings

Jane is not in the habit of receiving gifts, and still isn’t used to it. But she has grown to enjoy giving them to those she loves and cares for. Christmas at Ferndean, with her new husband, reunited with Adele. How does Jane celebrate her first Christmas at Thornfield with Adele and Mrs Fairfax, before she meets Mr Rochester?

Yuleporn

How does their wedding night go? What if they do have a night of madness before Jane flees Thornfield, where just for a moment she gives in? Or is coerced? (Dubcon over non-con though please! Bonus: Crueltide consequences.) Remember, she’s an unreliable narrator – if it had happened, she just wouldn’t have told us. How do Rochester’s blindness and injury affect this side of their relationship? An in-character moment of passion, with badinage and fairy talk.

3. North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell

Requested characters: Margaret Hale, John Thornton

What I Love About This Fandom

Yes, I got into the fandom by way of the Richard Armitage series (who didn’t?) but I read Gaskell’s Ruth at school and now I re-read this novel every couple of years and walk past old mills on a daily basis in my Northern English town so I’m steeped in the history. (I’m writing this letter in Manchester, Milton-Nothern by another name and a few miles from Gaskell’s house! I need to remember to go another time when I’m in town.) I love the context of the place, the contrast between north and south, old and new, leisure and trade, masters and workers, masculinity and femininity. It’s Pride and Prejudice with higher stakes. (Although arguably there are three worlds – Margaret’s, John’s, and Higgins’.) There’s so much pride in all these characters, and they’re all looking down on each other, and then they start to understand one another.

There’s such a rich setting to explore here - time, place, convention, mores, differences in education and worldview… I love this fandom so much. I have requested it many times before and as well as past letters there are many pretty gif sets under this tag for you to enjoy.

General Prompts

Wedding fic! How does their wedding day/night go? How do their friends and relatives behave and respond?

How do they pass their engagement? Do they write to one another? Do they keep finding excuses to be in one another’s company? Do they keep finding themselves alone in back drawing rooms?

Do they live with Mrs Thornton? How do they all get on?

John buys some of the Hales’ furniture from the auction after Margaret’s parents die. Does this come back to Margaret in her married life?

Does something in their (very different) pasts come back to haunt them?

Does Frederick Hale return to England? What does he think of his sister’s husband? Does he impact Margaret and John’s life? Frederick is Margaret’s only living male relative, but they have only seen each other once in a decade – and illicitly at that. Does he have a say in her life? Does he think he does?

Do Margaret and John have a traditional marriage or a more equitable one in terms of ownership and management of the mill?

Is Thornton traumatised, or at least significant affected, by the loss of the mill and his close brush with disaster? Does it colour his relationships with his mother, who he nearly failed, and his new wife who saved him, and/or his management of the mill once he owns it? Can he feel the ghost of his father’s failure and shame?

John and Hannah Thornton and Nicholas Higgins have tasted poverty – or at least true difficulty. Margaret might think she has, but she has not. Is there conflict there?

Yule Be First

Sadly not applicable here! Or at least not possible with the characters in the tag set.

However, at time of writing, there are no fics for Margaret Hale & Bessy Higgins, Margaret Hale & Richard Hale, Frederick Hale & John Thornton, Maria Hale & John Thornton, all of which could be interesting!

Crueltide

Victorian bankruptcy was a deliberate cruel, destructive, public, shameful process, designed to grind a man down to nothing at all. Does Thornton go through this, either during the novel or post-canon? Does he survive, or is he weighed down by grief and shame? He is so very conscious of his place in the world, his responsibilities to his peers, his workers, and his family. And a bankrupt man has pointedly failed in every one of these things – and it would all be so terribly, terribly public. (Very interested in stories about financial pressures/public shaming/private support, Crueltide or otherwise.)

What if the riot goes wrong? Is one or both of them more seriously injured? Is there a disaster at the mill, or in the police response? Does the incident become even more infamous?

Disaster at the mill! Fire, accident, disease. Mills were a very, very dangerous place to work.

John and Margaret’s marriage, despite their love for one another, isn’t accepted in either the north or south. John is not the right sort of man in the eyes of Margaret’s southern friends and relatives – a manufacturer, not a gentleman, soiled by his engagement with trade and industry and direct work, and even more so because of his father’s past and suicide. Margaret is not acceptable to society in the north as an outsider who meddles where she’s not wanted, doesn’t understand their world, and represents an old world with no relevance to their new modern vision. She says the wrong thing, values the wrong things, has the wrong priorities in their eyes, took one of their most eligible men. Can they be happy in such circumstances? Society thinks, alternately, that they either married to avert scandal (which means scandal happened) or Thornton wants Margaret’s fortune (which reflects badly on him in the south and Margaret in the north).

Season’s Treatings

Christmas in the big house at the mill. What does their day look like? What gifts do they buy/give one another? Christmas celebrations with mill workers. There would be a gap between how masters and workers celebrate. How would Margaret manage everyone’s pride, to make it into a celebration genuinely enjoyed and valued by all, not merely unwelcome charity?

What if the Thorntons (possibly including Hannah) go to London for Christmas with Edith and her family, Henry, Mrs Shaw?

Future fic: family Christmas.

Yuleporn

The world’s your oyster here.

Pre-marital shenanigans? Misuse of mill equipment? The virtues of a private train carriage.

4. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

Requested characters: Nobu Toshikazu, Nitta Sayuri | Sakamoto Chiyo

My rarest of rare pairs, Nobu/Sayuri. (I also very much enjoy Nobu & Sayuri!) I massively prefer the novel to the movie, mostly because there’s so much more Nobu. He’s my favourite character, for the gap between how he’s perceived and how he is. He inspires such loyalty and friendship in those who know and value him – Mameha, the Chairman, Sayuri - and yet more shallow characters (Hatsumomo) can’t stand him based only on his looks (and grumpiness).

In many ways, the Chairman is the more ghost-like character in the novel, floating in the background as Sayuri develops a deep and genuine friendship with Nobu despite their differences. Her entire fantasy of the chairman is based on a five-minute encounter and a hanky and then she essentially doesn’t speak to him for a decade, and I wish she’d made a different choice. Nobu would have been an active choice, rather than continuing down the path she set as a child without consideration for how she’s changed as she’s grown up and seen more of the world. I understand Sayuri’s heartbreak knowing that having Nobu as her danna would preclude any possibility of such a relationship with the Chairman, but it would open up a world of other possibilities, and to kindness from a different source. Neither Nobu nor Sayuri know much kindness in their lives, and I really enjoy their repartee. It's one of the few times Sayuri seems to have fun.

General Prompts

What if Sayuri chose Nobu instead, and accepted him as her danna before the war? What if she accepted him after the war? Sayuri appreciating Nobu, with optional romantic edge How does Nobu feel when he realises what Sayuri’s done? What does he know, what is he told, does he try to find out more? Is his respect once lost gone forever? Sayuri could be the Chairman’s but he could never be hers – he already had a wife – but Nobu would have been hers. Would she want this? What would Sayuri want, given the opportunity? Nobu and Sayuri being affectionate to one another, even gruffly and distractedly. How would an evening with Sayuri, Nobu and the Chairman unfold? With or without Mameha to guide Sayuri’s choices to their advantage? Exploring the differences between the pair – in power (financial, sexual, influence), personal freedom, status, ability to make their own decisions, the rules they play by. What do they have in common? They are both survivors, at the top of but on the outside of their respective worlds. (Teahouses, factories, okiyas, battlefields.) Sayuri and Nobu have an en. How else does this manifest?

Yule Be First

Sadly not applicable here, I think!

Crueltide

Do Nobu and Sayuri ever meet again, in the future? Are things frosty, all bridges burned? What if Pumpkin does bring Nobu instead of the Chairman?

Season’s Treatings

I don’t know any Japanese traditions or festivals that would be celebrated at this time! But I would be absolutely delighted to learn.

Yuleporn

Neither of them knows much of kindness or tenderness. Could they find it in each other?

Nobu is severely burned, missing an arm. These facts would definitely affect the experience, but it doesn’t have to be negatively.

First time/only time Tenderness Passion Frustration

#yuletide #yuletide 2022 #dear yuletide writer #dear author letter #the last kingdom #jane eyre #north and south #memoirs of a geisha

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ayrodynamic · 4 months

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Reclaiming Joy: Navigating the Holiday Season Beyond Social Media Shadows

@ 2023 Rhys Ayr-Cullen

The festive season, bridging the end of one year and the start of another, carries a dual nature. On one hand, it's a time for joy, reflection, and creating meaningful experiences. On the other, it can bring a wave of stress, anxiety, and even despair. This contrast arises from the immense pressure and expectations wrapped up in the idea of “the season to be jolly.�� The phenomenon of festive FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is real, where it’s all too easy to feel like everyone else is enjoying idyllic celebrations with their loved ones, while you’re just trying to get by.

Social media amplifies this sense of FOMO during the festive season. As we browse through perfectly crafted images and posts, it’s natural to feel that our own lives don’t measure up to the joy others seem to be experiencing. This can lead to a mistaken belief that you're alone in feeling anxious, lonely, or despondent, while others are lost in festivities. This constant comparison can trap us in a harmful cycle of sadness and anxiety, leading to even more emotional distress.

However, there's a silver lining - there are steps you can take to counteract festive FOMO and live a fulfilling life that’s true to you.

Plan for Festive Stress: Reflect on past festivities to identify your main stress triggers. Develop proactive strategies to address these. For instance, if you dread certain family questions, prepare brief, confident responses in advance.

Live According to Your Values: Determine what’s truly important to you and engage in activities that reflect these values. Approach the festive season with a clear idea of what you hope to gain from it, whether it's nurturing important relationships or recuperating from a challenging year.

Let Your Own Values Guide You, Not Other's ‘Shoulds’: Participate in events and undertake tasks that resonate with you, rather than those imposed by societal or personal pressures.

Limit Social Media: Identify the aspects of your social media use that lead to unhealthy comparisons and set goals to reduce this usage.

Practice Mindfulness: Use the festive downtime to enhance your ability to live in the present moment, benefiting you throughout the year.

Slow Down and Savour the Moment: Take time to enjoy each moment, finding something in it to appreciate.

Cultivate Gratitude: Regularly practice gratitude to help appreciate your life more and reduce the tendency to compare it to others.

Develop Distress Tolerance: Learn to accept and move through uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them.

Embrace the Essence of the Festive Season: Engage in activities that help you feel part of a community and transcend self-focus.

Maintain Personal Health: Prioritise your physical and emotional health through adequate sleep, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation.

In addition, our engagement with social media doesn’t cease during the festive season. We often find ourselves sneaking a peek at our feeds, even amidst family gatherings. Seeing friends and family celebrate in grand, joyous ways can evoke feelings of sadness or stress. This ‘festive FOMO’ especially affects those away from home or working during the festive season, amplifying feelings of isolation.

The digital age can also contribute to the ‘festive blues’ - a state of anxiety or sadness during the Christmas season. As highlighted by UC Davis Health (formally known as The University of California), unrealistic expectations about ourselves and idealised family scenarios often seen on social media are common triggers. Time spent on social media can escalate this stress, affecting our social skills and emotional wellbeing, disconnecting us from real-world interactions.

Social media can be a form of escapism during Christmas, offering a respite from prying questions of relatives. However, this escape should not exacerbate stress.

Whether celebrating alone or with others, it’s vital to prioritise your well-being. Reducing or temporarily ditching social media can help avoid envy and promote genuine connections. This festive season, consider embracing real-world experiences, like a staycation, instead of experiencing it through your phone screen.

By adopting these approaches, you can navigate the festive season with empathy, intention, and a deeper connection to what truly matters.

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insighttreatmentla · 4 months

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Best Resources When Looking For “Teen Mental Health Near Me”

When you think of teenagers, the first thing that could come to mind is probably along the lines of unpredictable behavior, crazy mood swings, and emotional roller coasters. While it may be tempting to brush off these actions as being nothing more than “normal teen stuff,” sometimes there is a deeper problem lurking behind the surface. Today, we’re diving deep into the world of teen depression and anxiety, two mental health challenges that are far more serious than mere mood swings. Teenagers today are grappling with a myriad of challenges, from societal pressures to personal ones. And if you’re searching for “Teen Mental Health Near Me“, chances are, you’re looking for answers. And that’s exactly what we’ll provide in this comprehensive read.

The Rise of Teen Depression A worrying trend has emerged over the past few years, the number of adolescents suffering from depression has increased dramatically. Research shows that the past decade has seen a significant increase in the number of teenagers reporting feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and suicidal thoughts. This isn’t just a phase; it’s a crisis.

How Depression Manifests in Teens While many associate depression with persistent sadness or melancholy, its manifestation in teens can be quite nuanced. Teenagers with depression often experience persistent feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and a general lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed. This could result in withdrawal from social circles, plummeting academic performance, or a stark change in behavior.

Physical symptoms such as changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and chronic fatigue can also be indicative of depression. One particularly concerning facet is an increased risk of substance use, as many teens attempt to self-medicate or numb their emotional pain. It’s vital to understand that teen depression isn’t merely an amplified version of the blues; it’s a serious mental health condition that impacts every facet of their life, from interpersonal relationships to their outlook on the future.

Anxiety’s Grip on Today’s Youth Anxiety isn’t just about feeling nervous before a test. For many teens, it’s a relentless grip that affects every aspect of their lives. The reasons? High academic pressures, the fear of not fitting in, societal expectations, and, yes, the vast, often daunting, world of social media. All of these pile onto a teen’s shoulders, making them feel as though they’re constantly under a magnifying glass.

The Double-edged Sword of Social Media Now, don’t get us wrong, social media has its merits. It has connected the world in unprecedented ways. For teens, platforms like Instagram and TikTok can be a source of information, entertainment, and even a place to showcase talents or voice out on global issues. It’s impressive how a teen in Ohio can connect with another halfway across the world in Japan.

However, with the good comes the not-so-good. Cyberbullying is more rampant than ever, and the fear of missing out (FOMO) is a real concern. Moreover, the comparison game, constantly seeing the highlight reels of peers, can drastically impact a teen’s self-worth and perception.

Finding the Right Help for Teen Mental Health Near Me Recognizing that there’s a problem is the first step. Whether you’re a parent, friend, or educator, acknowledging the signs of depression or anxiety in teens is crucial. The next, equally important step, is seeking the right help. If you find yourself typing “teen mental health near me” into your search bar, you’re on the right track.

Local resources such as ours at Insight Treatment, offer comprehensive solutions tailored for teens. From group therapy to individual sessions, there’s a whole spectrum of support to ensure that no teen feels alone in their struggle.

We understand that navigating the challenging waters of teen mental health requires a holistic, comprehensive approach. At Insight Treatment, we recognize this and offer a wide range of services tailored for adolescents. One of our standout programs is our teen support groups, where teenagers come together under professional guidance to share their experiences, challenges, and triumphs, fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding. Our intensive outpatient program (IOP) is another keystone offering, designed for teens who require more structured and frequent interventions.

Parent Support Groups Insight Treatment understands that it’s not just the teens who need support; parents do too. It’s not easy watching a child go through a rough patch, which is why our parent support groups can be a lifeline. Whether the concerns are behavioral, academic, or substance-related, Insight Treatment offers a confidential environment where parents can share, learn, and grow. And, when they say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, it couldn’t be more accurate.

Our parent support groups aren’t just about discussing problems, though. They’re about celebrating successes, sharing strategies, and creating a community.

The Best Resources Available For You Teens today face an array of challenges, both seen and unseen. Dismissing them as mere mood swings does a disservice to the very real struggles they face. Early intervention, compassionate understanding, and seeking the right mental health services – like those you find when searching for “teen mental health near me” – can make all the difference. Remember, it’s not about navigating these challenges alone; it’s about finding the right community and resources to support you along the way.

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mandyjane-lifedesign · 4 months

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How Men Can Start Therapy: 7 Tips And Advice

In today's fast-paced world, mental health often takes a backseat, especially for men. Many grapple with societal expectations to remain stoic, inadvertently neglecting their emotional well-being. However, therapy can be a transformative journey, offering profound insights and coping mechanisms. It's not just about finding relief from mental health challenges like depression or anxiety. It's about unlocking a deeper understanding of oneself and enhancing the overall quality of life. This article explores essential tips for men embarking on the therapy journey, guiding them toward a more balanced and fulfilling life. - Overcoming Stigma Overcoming the societal stigma attached to men seeking therapy is crucial. Historically, men have been expected to suppress their emotions, often leading to misconceptions about seeking help. To counter this, it's important to normalize therapy as a strength, not a weakness. Acknowledging that seeking help is a brave step toward self-improvement is vital. Educating oneself about the various types of mental health services for men can also be empowering. Creating a supportive environment is key. Men should be encouraged to openly discuss their mental health with friends, family, or support groups. This can help break down barriers and foster a culture where seeking help is seen as a proactive approach to well-being. Understanding that therapy is a tool for growth can significantly change one's perspective toward mental health. - Finding The Right Therapist Choosing a therapist aligned with your needs is a pivotal step in your mental health journey. Here are some tips to guide you: - Research Specializations Different therapists have expertise in various areas. Look for someone specializing in issues you're facing, like anxiety, depression, or relationship problems. - Consider Therapy Styles Therapists use different approaches. Some may focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy, while others might use a more holistic approach. Choose a style that resonates with you. - Check Credentials And Experience Ensure the therapist is licensed and has experience, particularly with men's issues. - Prioritize Comfort Your comfort with the therapist is key. If possible, have an initial consultation to gauge your comfort level. - Ask About Logistics Consider factors like location, session duration, and cost. These practicalities matter in maintaining consistency. Remember, finding the right therapist might take time, but it's a crucial step toward effective therapy. Don't hesitate to switch therapists if the fit isn't right. Your mental health journey is unique, and finding the right guide is essential. - Preparing For The First Session What to expect in the first therapy session? Entering therapy can be daunting, especially for the first session. Consider this: it's a chance for both you and the therapist to get acquainted. It's common to discuss your reasons for seeking therapy and your goals. The therapist might ask about your personal history and current situation to understand your context better. Preparation can ease initial nerves. Consider jotting down key points you want to discuss or questions you have. Be open to the process and remember that it's okay to feel uncertain. The first session is just the beginning of your journey, and there's no pressure to have all the answers immediately. - Committing To The Process Committing to therapy is essential for personal growth and improving self-esteem. Regular participation helps individuals confront and understand their feelings, leading to increased self-awareness and self-acceptance. This process can be transformative, enhancing self-esteem as one learns to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and insight. Keeping an open mind is equally important. Therapy often challenges existing beliefs and behaviors. Being receptive to new perspectives and techniques can significantly enhance the therapy experience. This openness can lead to profound personal growth and a more positive outlook on life. - Integrating Therapy Into Daily Life To effectively integrate therapy insights into daily life, consider these detailed strategies: - Active Journaling Beyond regular journaling, actively reflect on therapy sessions. Write down key insights, feelings, and action plans. This makes therapy concepts tangible and actionable in daily life. - Scheduled Self-Reflection Set aside a dedicated time daily or weekly to contemplate therapy topics. This regularity ensures continuous engagement with therapy concepts. - Mindfulness Routines Implement mindfulness exercises like focused breathing or meditation during daily activities. This practice helps in maintaining calm and centeredness, especially in stressful situations. - Communication Drills Use everyday interactions as practice fields for communication skills learned in therapy. For example, practice active listening in conversations with friends or family. - Thought Challenge Diary Keep a diary to record and challenge negative thoughts. This technique, often used in cognitive-behavioral therapy, helps in recognizing and altering unhelpful thought patterns. These specific techniques can bridge the gap between therapy sessions and everyday life, fostering lasting change and personal growth. - Support Systems And Resources Exploring additional support systems outside therapy is vital for holistic well-being. Support groups, either online or in-person, can provide a community of individuals facing similar challenges. These groups offer a space for sharing experiences and coping strategies. Additionally, engaging in activities like mindfulness workshops or men's health seminars can complement therapy by providing new perspectives and tools. Family and friends also play a crucial role. Open communication with loved ones about therapy progress can foster understanding and support. Moreover, reading materials like books or articles on mental health can provide further insight. These external resources and support systems enhance the therapeutic journey, offering diverse avenues for growth and healing. - Navigating Setbacks Handling setbacks in therapy requires tailored strategies: - Adaptive Strategy Development Work with your therapist to develop strategies tailored to your unique challenges. This can include specific exercises or techniques to address recurring issues. - Skill Reinforcement Focus on reinforcing skills learned in therapy during setbacks. For example, if assertiveness has been a focus, practice it more consciously during challenging times. - Targeted Problem-Solving Identify the specific nature of each setback and apply targeted problem-solving strategies. This could involve breaking down the issue into smaller, more manageable parts and tackling them systematically. - Lifestyle Adjustments Sometimes, setbacks in therapy can be linked to lifestyle factors. Assess and adjust aspects like sleep, diet, or exercise, as these can significantly impact mental health. - Regular Review Of Therapy Goals Periodically revisit your therapy goals. This helps maintain focus and reminds you of the broader perspective of your therapy journey. Remember, setbacks are part of the journey. Approaching them with specific strategies can make navigating them more manageable and less daunting. Conclusion Starting therapy is a proactive step toward personal growth. It's an opportunity for men to explore and address their mental health in a supportive environment. This journey requires an open mind, a commitment to self-improvement, and the utilization of various strategies and supports. It's about evolving, learning, and finding balance in life. Read the full article

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