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#like if u see the pictures they submit u will be shocked at the lack of any effort
taelme · 4 years
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Boyfriend!Eric
request: Hello, can you make a fluffy date scenario with eric from the boyz
genre: established relationship!au, boyfriend!Eric, school!au ( just a cute lil fluffy amusement park date with eric! )
pairing/s: Eric / Reader (ft mentions of Sunwoo) 
word count: 4k 
tw: none!! pure fluff 
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How do you know you're in deep? 
The answer seemed simple, straightforward almost, to everyone around him. I mean, it was everywhere. Those buzzfeed quizzes that would tell you if you're crushing hard on someone, or those 'Are you really in love with them?' magazine columns he saw at the hairdressers. Even the 'How to tell you're in love, according to science' articles he would chance upon online. 
Eric wasn't a stranger to them, having been sent them many times by his friends who had loved to make fun of just how in love he was with you, but Eric would always claim that his love for you was different, (which usually just elicited more teasing from them). He was always insistent that it was something the articles would never be able to summarise accurately, which was why he’d figured he’d be better off coming up with his own list. His own hand-picked (quite literally) list to justify why, or how he knew that he was just so…crazy about you. 
Firstly, he knew that he loved being with you, no matter what you were doing, and he knew that time with you, was definitely time well spent to him.
"There's no escape now, I've got you booked for the whole day. Tell Sunwoo to leave you alone,” he spoke over his shoulder as he was busy leading you into the park, “say you’re busy spending your well-deserved, long-awaited quality time with your boyfriend.”  
There was a trace of triumphance to his tone as he pulled you into one of the first stores near the entrance. The smell of too-sweet caramel popcorn took your attention away from your phone as you glanced around the shop, Eric practically bulldozing towards the cashier.
It was your idea to go to the amusement park for a date, since all those articles on how to ‘spice up your relationship’ were starting to get to you, a tiny fear in you that Eric was bored of just hanging out at cafés or either of your houses as dates. 
"Sunwoo's asking about our project, it's important," you dismissed his request, "and don't get too much, we're not eating popcorn for lunch," you gave him a knowing look, turning your stare back to your texts, mumbling as you tried to read what Sunwoo had sent you. 
"Should I get the medium or the large size?" Eric hummed, "large, right?" 
You hummed, preoccupied with your phone, typing out your reply to Sunwoo. 
10:56am -yeah the formatting is correct, u can go ahead and submit it, i checked to make sure all our info was inside this morning already- 
"Hey, did you hear me?" 
You shoved your phone in your pocket, looking up to be met with a very pouty Eric, pointing at the glass casings holding the popcorn, pulling his finger back with a hiss when it'd gotten too hot to touch. 
Huffing, you'd pressed your lips together tightly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. 
"Don't laugh, that really hurt," Eric huffed, holding his reddening fingertip up to show you, though he couldn't help but smile as well. 
You hummed in acknowledgement, "wouldn't have happened if you were paying attention." 
Eric gave you a feigned look of malice, reaching his hand out to grab yours, caging you in a hug (you'd desperately tried to peel him off at the sight of the cashier's smile), "how could I? I was too busy paying attention to you not paying attention to me." 
Rolling your eyes, you'd turned around in his hold, so his hands were resting on the small of your back, scrunching your nose up and gesturing to the popcorn cases, "medium." 
"I knew you were gonna say that,” Eric grinned, (finally) letting go of you and turning to the cashier with a smile, his voice raising in pitch as he spoke to them, his ‘stranger’ voice, you liked to call it. 
"Hi, can I get um the caramel popcorn? Medium sized, please," pulling his beat-up wallet from his pocket and fishing whatever spare change he had inside, making you shoot him a look. 
"Sorry," you apologised to the cashier on his behalf, the sight of the amount of coins Eric was pulling out making you avert your gaze, pretending to be busy with looking at the little plastic buckets they would give for bigger orders. 
"Have a nice day," you heard the cashier speak, turning back to Eric who had taken the packet from the cashier, already opening it as he nodded his head at them. 
"Thank you, you too," he greeted. 
On your way out of the shop, you'd grabbed a map of the theme park, spreading it open as Eric had very unceremoniously shoved the popcorn against your lips, making you open them absently as you focused on the map.
“We could go to the rides at the far end first, ‘cause those tend to get crowded quickly…” you hummed, using your finger to plan out a route in your head. 
Eyeing you curiously, Eric couldn’t help but wrack his brain for options on how to make the most of his day with you, and he figured step one would be getting your attention off that map you were so busy studying. 
Waving the bag of popcorn over the map, blurring the sight of it for you, Eric tried not to grin too much when he’d successfully directed your attention towards him, despite the small sulky pout on your lips. 
“They have a dinosaur show in 10 minutes,” you told him, thinking you’d managed to direct his attention away  from your map when you earned a wide-eyed look from him, only to have him pull the map from your hands swiftly, folding it back and shoving it into his pocket. 
“No more map, please,” he pouted, still shoving popcorn into his mouth, “c’mon, I’ve been to this place a thousand times! And it’s been a while since we actually went out for a date,” he gave you a pleading look as he was already headed towards the Jurassic Park area. 
“Let’s just do whatever we want today, okay? And not worry about the long lines, or where the bathroom is because there’s literally a bathroom every five steps you walk here. Don’t worry, okay? Let’s just…have fun, hmm?” 
Eric held up a piece of popcorn just in front of your lips as a peace offering, and you had to admit, his offer was very tempting. It had been a while since you’d just let yourself be in the moment with him without worrying about making things perfect, maybe today would be one of those days. 
Taking hold of his wrist gently, you’d let him feed you the popcorn as a silent sign of agreement, his smile growing as you did so. 
“Thank you," he murmured, 
Secondly, this wasn't anything from a magazine, but you knew Eric was a sucker for cute things. And maybe, he was finding that you took the top place on that list of cute things. 
You tugged gently on the fabric of Eric’s hoodie, him turning to you with raised eyebrows. 
“Hey, um... don’t you think it’d be a better idea to just like...skip this ride and get something to eat?” you blurted out.  
Eric gave you a look, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips as he gave you a thoughtful shrug, his arms going to grab the railing you were leaning against, caging you in place. 
“That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, but weren’t you just talking about how full you were?” he winced. Eric could see right through you, you always loved this ride when you were done riding it, but it was always the waiting that got the better of you. 
“Yeah, you know, maybe I’m just not in the mood for all that zombie business today,” you huffed sheepishly, directing your gaze towards his necklace, not wanting to let your imagination get carried away the more you looked at the creepy decorations and the eerie music they were playing. 
Eric shook his head, “It’s fine, it’s just the long wait that’s making you nervous. Don't be scared, it’s not real,” he couldn’t help but giggle, making you writhe in place, your anxiousness making you want to move around. He would never admit this to you, but he was getting a little creeped out by the lack of proper lighting in the place, but being with you was making it a lot less nerve-racking for him. 
“I know, I just hate the atmosphere,” you glanced at the picture of the too-realistic zombie behind Eric, “just wish the line would just move faster,” you sighed. 
This made Eric scrunch his nose out of sheer affection for you, giving you a nod. Pausing for a mere moment, Eric couldn’t help but grab your waist abruptly, letting out a small shout to scare you, making you jump with a yelp, attracting looks of curiosity from the people waiting on either side of you. 
You tilted your head back, slumping against the railing and feeling as though your energy had just dissipated from your body, letting out a frustrated whine, yet being able to laugh at yourself for how startled you’d gotten. 
“I hate you,” you sighed, making Eric scrunch his nose, his hand coming up to smooth down your hair where it had gotten messed up in your shock, “It’s not funny,” you huffed. 
Your glare hadn’t stopped Eric from laughing, simply shaking his head and nodding patronisingly at you, something in him reminding himself not to let himself get too carried away with how you leaned into his touch ever so slightly as he smoothed your hair down. 
“It’s a little funny, you gotta admit," he insisted, “you're cute.” 
You shook your head, despite the good-natured smile on your face, "yeah, and you're mean." 
Later on, when you were being ushered to take your seat on the ride, you’d initially gone in first, the anticipation of the ride making you look at Eric with a panicked look on your face, making Eric’s lips pull into a smile. 
“Got it,” he chuckled, letting you go over him as he swapped seats with you. 
“Are you scared?” You heard him ask, already being able to feel your heart’s rapid beats in your chest, feeling as though it was about to burst with how hard it was pounding, nodding at him as you pushed the safety bar down even more, desperate for something to hold on to to feel more secure. 
If Eric wasn’t mildly scared himself, he would’ve found the sight a thousand times more endearing than he already did, simply holding his hand out for you to take, making you let out a shaky sigh, taking his hand, sparing him a glance as he rolled his shoulders back, his other hand fiddling with his hair. 
You’d felt him start to drum his fingers on your knuckles just as the ride had started to move. 
“It’s starting, it’s starting,” he teased, more preoccupied with looking at your reaction than the ride, his ring on his other hand making a clinking noise as he tapped the seatbelt, fairly amused at the way you’d scrunched your eyes shut as you approached the drop. 
Eric couldn’t help but laugh during the ride, his laughter oddly sticking out amongst the others on the ride who were (similarly to you) screaming their heads off, the way you were holding onto his hand for dear life and laughing in spite of yourself seeming awfully endearing to him. 
“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” he’d told you after the ride, the look on your face and the mess of your hair making Eric’s hand come up to pinch your cheek gently, taking his lower lip between his teeth as he shook his head at you. 
You let out a sigh, nodding, a smile slowly making your way onto your face, still not letting go of his hand, “can we go take a break now? My legs feel like jelly.” 
Eric swooned internally, nodding at you, he was sure those love quizzes were starting to get to him, feeling as though his feelings for you were only growing with each passing day of being your boyfriend. 
“Of course, cutie.” 
You let out a strangled sound of embarrassment, "you're gross, Eric." 
Thirdly, Eric liked having plans, he did well with plans, it made him feel safer in a sense, knowing that there was a sense of order to the events of his day, but for some reason, whenever he was with you, that didn’t seem to matter as much. 
“Shit, Eric, it’s raining,” you’d glanced out the window of the little retro themed ice cream shop you were currently grabbing a snack with Eric at, your tone doing nothing to hide your disappointment.
Eric was mid-bite (yes, bite) into his ice cream, glancing out at the window and watching the rain beating against the paved road yet not feeling as disappointed as he thought he would have felt. 
“Sorry,” you frowned, “I knew we said we’d just have fun here for the whole day but now that it’s raining…” you munched on your ice cream cone with a small sigh, your shoulders slouched as you glared outside the window. 
You knew this would most likely end you up back at your house, watching movies with Eric like any time the both of you hung out, which had only served to make you feel more disappointed. 
Eric let out an amused huff through his nose, licking the ice cream off of his lips and tilting his head at you in an awfully calm manner. 
You weren’t sure what to make of it, feeling bad for the fact that you seemed to be a lot more upset about it than he was, your eyes widening and eyebrows raising expectantly as you awaited his response.  
“It’s okay, you know, we’re still spending time together,” he offered, “why don’t we take a bus back? By the time we get back the rain would probably have stopped, and we could just watch something on the bus to kill time.” Shrugging, he’d given you a reassuring smile, finishing up his ice cream before he reached over to take a wet tissue from the packet you’d left on the table. 
You were glad for Eric in times like this, for how he’d reminded you that things like these weren’t the end of the world, and how he’d managed to stir in you that familiar feeling of reassurance that you were so used to feeling whenever you were with him. 
You threw aside whatever disappointment you had left in you, giving him a decisive nod, mirroring the smile he gave you unconsciously. 
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” 
And so that was what had resulted in the both of you running to the bus stop outside the theme park, giggling uncontrollably as the rain had pattered against your heads. Eric trying (but failing) to cover your head with his hand as you ran, making you burst into another bout of laughter when his efforts proved futile. 
You were both already starting to slow down, tired from running. Turning to look at the bus that was approaching, you frowned, "wait, isn't that our bus?" 
Eric squinted, letting out a groan when he realised that it definitely was your bus. 
"Think we can make it if we run?" he asked, already increasing his walking pace. 
"I guess, okay, let's do it." 
"Okay, go!" 
 The two of you had only ran faster, panting and smiling like a pair of idiots upon boarding the bus just in time, turning to greet the bus driver with a brief nod as you paid your fare.  
Grabbing your hand, he'd led you to a seat near the back of the bus, taking the window seat and pulling you down to sit next to him, already taking his phone and his earbuds out from his pocket. 
"Music or movie?" 
You hummed, shrugging, "both sound fine to me." 
Eric pressed his lips together firmly in thought jutting them out in a slight pucker, "okay, pick left or right," he'd held his hand out, showing you two of his fingers. 
"This one," you tapped his index finger, earning a satisfied hum from him. 
"Movie it is, then." 
Knowing Eric, there were only a select few movies he'd downloaded on his phone, and most of them were thriller movies. But even despite that, you'd found yourself starting to grow tired as you watched the movie, Eric's focused demeanour serving to make you feel even more calm, the moving of the bus starting to lull you into sleep. 
Eric had turned to you at one of the particularly exciting parts, a small smile playing at his lips when he saw the way your head was leaning forward, your eyes closed and your arm growing limp from where it was linked with his. 
Raising his hand carefully, he'd pushed your head gently, letting you rest your head upon his shoulder, feeling you stir awake, lifting your head and blinking at him in confusion. 
"It's okay," he whispered, not even sure why he was whispering as he'd pushed your head back onto his shoulder, his thumb smoothing over your hair gently, making you lean into him more, unapologetically using him as your pillow. 
Eric had expected himself to be a tired once you'd reached your house, but on the contrary, he'd still wanted to spend time with you, but once he was all showered and ready to cuddle with you while watching movies, you'd gotten emergency emails and texts from Sunwoo asking for help with your project. 
"Aren't there like three other people in your group?" he asked you, earning a tired nod from you. 
"Yeah, but they're kind of... missing, right now." 
Eric nodded, understanding your situation, strangely not feeling as upset about the unpredictability of today once again. 
"It's okay, you can do what you need to do, i'll just entertain myself in the meantime," Eric told you, waving you off as you took your seat at the dining table with your laptop, leaving Eric to laze on your sofa finding entertaining shows to watch.
"You're not gonna find much, there's nothing really exciting on at this time of the day, why don't you try Netflix?" you told him from where you sat at the living room, being able to see the television switching between channels every few seconds. 
Eric groaned, "quick, do your work so you can come here and choose with me," he murmured in a painfully bored tone, drumming his fingertips on his cheeks as he browsed channels. 
Halfway, through fixing the missing paragraphs in the document Sunwoo had sent you, you'd let out a huff of breathy laughter when you realised he'd settled on watching reruns of 'Wheel of Fortune'. 
In between trying to figure out why a 'horseshoe above the door' would be something he could find around the house, Eric couldn't help but glance in your direction ever so often, trying to gauge how done you were with your work from your expression. 
"I'm so bored," he called, sighing as he watched you laugh from where you were, not turning away from your computer as you typed rapidly. 
"Uh-huh, hold on, I'll be right there," you hummed, busy trying to send the various files over to Sunwoo for him to do a final check, (it wasn't as if your other group mates were being very helpful right now) hoping nothing would disappear this time. 
"Okay, I think i'm done!" you sighed, pushing your chair back and shutting your laptop gently. 
Eric, however, was too busy trying to figure out what  vowels he was missing, oblivious to your announcement. 
Shifting in his position on the sofa, Eric had spotted you coming towards where he lay on the sofa, leaning over the back of the sofa to give him a smile. 
Nothing in any article or buzzfeed quiz or love magazine column would have prepared him for the way his heart skipped at the sight of you. 
Screw the list, Eric thought, all he knew was that when he looked at you, he felt such a wide range of things that he couldn't place, and he didn't need a list to tell him that he was completely, utterly gone for you. 
Nudging his glasses higher on his nose bridge, he gave you a small smile, his hoodie over his head as he lay on your sofa. Stretching his arms out, he'd grabbed hold of your arm, pulling you over the back of the sofa so you'd (quite literally) fallen into his arms with a yelp. 
"Took you long enough," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your head. 
"Sorry, in my defence I did tell Sunwoo that today was for me to spend my... what did you say this morning? long-awaited quality time with my boyfriend?" 
Eric nodded as you lifted your shoulders off of him to get a better look at him, "yes, well-deserved too." 
"Uh-huh, but you know, he needed my help, so I didn't have much of a choice," you added, searching his expression for any sign that he was upset from today not going to plan. 
You huffed, "I'm still sorry about today, I know it was my idea to go to the amusement park and everything, you know, for a change of scenery and all," you told him, bringing your hands up to rest on his chest, drumming your fingers on his chest as you spoke. 
"And, you know, I keep seeing these things online about like you know cool date ideas to keep the relationship exciting and stuff like that," your voice trailed off into a mumble, making Eric's shoulders shake with laughter, one of his hands coming up to play with his hair as the other cupped your face, thumb caressing your cheek soothingly. 
Eric wanted to laugh, "guess we've both been a bit messed up by those articles, huh." 
You frowned, raising your eyebrows in confusion, making him shake his head in dismissal. 
"You know what? Heck the articles. I love spending time with you like this," he told you, his hand letting go of his hair so it fell back messy on his head, bringing it to rub your shoulder gently. 
"Because it's private, for one," he murmured, "there's no Sunwoo to bother us, well, not anymore at least," he added as an afterthought, "but most of all because I'm happy." 
"I could do nothing with you and be happy," he smiled, scrunching his nose up at you, the small gesture accompanied with his words making you flush. 
You'd wanted to bury your head into his chest to escape his gaze, though you'd simply given him a small shy smile, nodding at him. 
"Me too," you huffed. 
And maybe that all Eric needed to solidify the fact that he was in deep, and he realised that maybe it wasn’t as complicated as he thought it was. 
Whatever it was, revelation or not, Eric didn't really care at the moment, his hand going to the back of your neck gently as he directed your head towards his, thankfully you'd gotten the hint, leaning over to save him half the work and pressing your lips against his. 
Your hand made your way to his hair, running your fingers through them as you felt him smile into the kiss, pressing one last kiss to your lips before you pulled away. 
Turning just briefly, you were about to rest your head on his chest when he'd yelped abruptly. 
"Backyard barbecue!" he shouted, just as the contestant on the show had asked for a letter 'b', seeing that he really was correct as the contestant solved the puzzle. 
You shot him a look, an amused smile on your face as he turned back to you, giving you a sheepish smile. 
"Sorry, ruined the mood, didn't I?" he asked, making you giggle, shaking your head as you rest your head back onto his chest, his arms interlocked and resting on your back comfortably. 
"Nope, It's very...you. And i'm more than fine with that." 
Eric grinned, quirking an eyebrow at you curiously, "really? C'mere lemme get the mood back." 
You lifted your head only to be met with a swarm of kisses to your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your forehead, and your lips, making you laugh, both from the ticklish sensation and your flustered state. 
Yeah, screw the articles. The both of you were more than fine with this. 
"So much for 'setting the mood', huh?" 
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dovechim · 5 years
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a remedy for mondays 01 (m)
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➾ 11.2k
➾ summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.
➾ warnings: impregnation kink (all that jazz, u guys should know by now), brief mention of pregnancy termination, future smut 
➾ a/n: this is written purely for fun & i hope you can understand my humour!!! please don’t go having babies just for some time off work. by the time i post this, it will be monday where i live. i hope this brings you all some joy :-) 
ps: thank you to @jimlingss, who always hears my crazy ideas out and encourages me to go for them. heck, sometimes she even brings it out of me. idk where i would be without you :”D
You hate this.
The saying goes: work to live, not live to work. But at this rate, you’d rather just not exist at all if you have to continue work at this god.darn.fucking.job.
All around you, people are huddled into their seats, heads bowed below the partition that separates the desks. Frankly, you think this whole open-plan office thing is just bullshit. Who the fuck wants to make eye contact with Jeon Jeongguk when he’s picking his nose in the middle of editing a spreadsheet?
Not you, that’s who.
You sink even lower down in your seat as you continue to stare your screen with a pounding headache. The numerous open windows on your desktop are just mocking you at this point. The morning seems to be crawling by. Usually, you ration out your morning coffee and breakfast to keep you going; so your morning goes a little something like this: arrive 8.30am, check emails, get water from the pantry and fuck about while your bosses aren’t here yet till 9.15am. Reply to some emails till about 9.45am, then sit in a daze till it’s 10am and time for you to drink your morning espresso and nibble at the small bun you bought from the bakery nearby.
This usually gets you to about 11am, only an hour more to go till lunch.
A job in the public service is perceived to be prestigious by most; so you suppose you should be thankful for your job dealing with family policy. But what outsiders don’t realise is that working in a governmental organisation as the utmost bottom rung absolutely sucks. There are so many standard operation procedures for nearly every single fucking thing, even emails to senior management needs to be vetted by someone in a higher position than you. As a result, things get done very slowly and even if they do get through to senior management, it might just get rejected because they decide that it’s not good enough. Then the work comes all the way back to you, and the whole dreary process starts again.
Not to mention your asshole boss. Bae Joohyun. Senior Director. She has a notorious reputation throughout the entire department for being a hell witch from Satan’s posse. In her meetings she demands utter silence from everyone other than the presenter; sneezes and coughs or pen clicks and typing are strictly forbidden.
Technically, she isn’t your direct superior, and you don’t work super closely with her, but she has this mandate that all leave requests for the entire department have to be approved by her. You’ve submitted requests 5 times in the past year, none of which have gone through. As a result you haven’t taken a day off in a good three years since you started working here. You still remember that one time she rejected your medical leave and called you to her desk. You’d been nursing a terrible flu, your complexion washed out and almost falling off your feet. Looking in the mirror that morning had been a complete shock. You thought a zombie was staring back at you.
Bae Joohyun had narrowed her eyes at you. “What’s wrong with you that you need to take emergency medical leave, _____?”
“I-it’s this cold, ma’am,” your voice was nasal and stuck in your throat.
Bae Joohyun had rolled her eyes and motioned for you to speak up. “I can’t hear you, stop mumbling for heaven’s sake!”
“I have a cold, ma’am! Has been so for the past three days,” you sniffled and pressed a tissue to your nose.
“A cold?” Bae Joohyun raised an eyebrow sceptically. “You seem fine to me. You look the same as you usually do. Get back to work.”
Sometimes you feel like this company, in all its pro-family views, treats married employees with children better.
The resentment grows inside you as you tap on your keyboard harder and harder, earning you a timid glance from Jeon Jeongguk opposite you. But you ignore him, continuing to type out a reply to someone who somehow failed to read your previous email and continued to ask the exact same questions.
“______?”
You absolutely hate it when someone approaches you from the back in your blind spot and startles you like this. Forcing a smile on your face, you sit up straighter in your chair and turn around. It’s Taehyung from the Baby Bonus Team, and he’s holding a folder with a smile on his face.
“Morning, ______!” He chirps with a sunny expression, and you can barely muster enough energy to greet him back, let alone match his level of enthusiasm on a Monday morning. “Could I just trouble you to update this for me? It’s just our operations manual for the Baby Bonus Team that hasn’t been touched in like… ages. I just need the HR section updated. Is that ok?”
Before you can even reply, Taehyung places a folder on your desk and his email appears on your screen, and he’s off. It’s not a secret that Taehyung loves his job to pieces. He loves children, loves babies, and loves it that he’s doing his part to contribute to the nation’s falling birth rate.
Well, not likethat,since you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
But everyone else here seems to love children. Over lunch with your team, all they do is exchange pictures of their children, their friends’ children, or some random baby from Facebook and coo over how chubby and cute they are. You stopped going to lunch with them after Mingyu from Pre-Schools team showed everyone a picture of his niece in a soiled diaper.
Most of your older coworkers who are married with their own families have pictures of their children on their desks. You’re forced to stare at these pictures with the resentment bubbling up inside you as you listen to their latest rant about how your proposal is too skimpy, lacks real research, that email of yours is poorly worded, needs to be recalled etc; so can anyone really blame you when you’re unable to dredge up even the slightest bit of adoration for those grubby faced gremlins?
Clicking open Taehyung’s email and finding the document he attached, you scroll down to the section he mentioned. You realise that he was being modest when he said that it needed an update. The whole fucking section comprises of just a single sentence, and you’ll probably have to write it from scratch.
Sighing through your nose, you click open an internet browser and do a quick google search for the general HR benefits for expecting women and their partners. You also open up the intranet to take a look at your own company’s mandates, which seem to be quite a whole lot more substantial than the general ones (which is only natural since your organisation is so pro-family in its viewpoints).  16 weeks of paid maternity leave, for a start.
Good god. 16 whole weeks? That’s practically 4 months. That’s almost half a year!!!
Obviously you know that having a baby wrecks the mother’s body, and is a major life change; that’s why they need that much leave time. But right now the concept of not having to go to work for that amount of time is simply blowing your mind. Especially since it feels as if you’ve been working non-stop for as long as you can remember.
On top of the 16 weeks is increased medical leave that can be taken any time before the baby is born. Your company is incredibly sympathetic towards pregnant women, which is only natural considering the line of work that you do in family planning. In fact, you know of a few colleagues from the Baby Bonus Team who took almost a whole month of medical leave, spread out, before they had their babies.
Not to mention the actual baby bonus itself.
Curious, you click back to Taehyung’s document and scroll up to the section on Baby Bonus. You scan through and gather that it comprises of a cash gift of $8,000 to $10,000, on top of several other schemes such as a savings account with the amount matched by the government. The total amount of cash receivable just for having one child is listed at the bottom of the page.
You sit back in your chair with a sharp breath. You never realised it was this lucrative to have a baby. Imagine receiving free money from the government, and having all that paid time off. All you need to do is just pop out one (1) baby, and that’s it. You can suck the government dry if you devote the rest of your life to being a baby making machine. See what Bae Joohyun has to say when you slam your maternity leave application on her desk.
The thought makes you smirk triumphantly.
But a moment later, the triumph fades as you remember your very, very single self. Without a boyfriend to knock you up, there’s no way this scheme would work.
Sighing, you shake your head to get rid of all the useless fantasies as you get back to work.
*
“Hey, _____. Meet our new joiner,” Jeongguk’s voice stirs you from the zoned out state you’re in, frantically typing away.
It’s well after lunch now; somehow the time had flown past while you were working on Taehyung’s document.
You look up to meet Jeongguk’s eyes, and then your gaze shifts to the slightly shorter man beside him. He is wearing a large pair of black glasses that cover nearly half his face; his blonde hair is parted down the middle and neatly slicked back. This man can’t even meet your eyes; he gives you a nervous little smile but his gaze is off, fixed somewhere on your shoulder. His white dress shirt is tucked in neatly to his black dress pants, but he is constantly fidgeting.
“Park Jimin. Welcome to the team, buddy,” Jeongguk slaps Jimin on the shoulder with a grin. “You’re sitting beside me.”
“Welcome, nice to meet you,” you smile and nod at him, but otherwise remain seated. No one can or will distract you from this document. You need to finish this by today, or else you’ll have to bring it home to work on it.
Park Jimin nods shyly as Jeongguk shows him to his seat. With this current arrangement, it means that the three of you are all facing each other in this cluster of desks. Sighing internally, you watch Jimin take his seat and arrange his things, see him glance shyly at you from behind his enormous glasses before his eyes dart away and he hides behind his desktop.
What a weird guy. He hasn’t said a single thing. Whatever. You turn back and resume typing, but then your phone chimes with an email notification.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE WON MEET AND GREET PASSES TO MEET agust d TOMORROW!!!
Your heart skips a beat and you abandon typing just to open the email. You bid for these meet and greet passes months ago when you bought tickets to see your favourite rapper in concert. No news had resulted in you concluding that you hadn’t won after all, and you were contented with the chance just to see agust d in real life.
But now…
You scroll down to look at the details of the meet and greet.
24 September 2019, from 4pm (please see your specific timeslot on your attached passes)
Each meet and greet session comprises of: an up close, INTIMATE, one on one opportunity to chat and take photos with agust d, lasting for 15 minutes
Your heart sinks as you check the time on your pass. You end work only at 6pm, and when you’d bought the tickets you thought it’d be fine for you to go straight after work since the concert only starts at 7pm. There’s no way you’ll be able to take half day leave to attend the meet and greet. There’s no way Bae Joohyun would let you.
Sitting back in your seat in despair, feeling the angry tears well up in your eyes and the frustration cloud your chest, you don’t notice a pair of meek eyes behind black glasses peek out behind the desktop.
All that’s going through your head is: there has to be a way, there has to be a way.
There’s no way you’re letting these passes go to waste just like that. There’s no way you’re not meeting agust d just because Bae Joohyun has a stick up her ass.
*
Tuesday morning finds you at Bae Joohyun’s desk with a leave application filled out. You carefully set it on her desk, knowing full well that she comes in at 9.30am on the dot every day.
Rumour has it that she colour codes her outfits based on her mood that day. As you slink back to your desk, you catch a glance of her clad fully in black, striding powerfully into the office in her black pumps.
Your heart sinks as Jeongguk sings out a cheerful good morning to you and Park Jimin, whom you hadn’t even noticed was already at his desk.
“Morning, Jeongguk,” you mutter under your breath. “Morning to you too, Jimin.”
The newcomer does nothing more than nod at you as he ducks back behind his computer. But today you don’t have the bandwidth to wonder about him as you click over to Taehyung’s email about the document from yesterday.
“Hey, aren’t you going to see agust d tonight?” Jeongguk sits up straighter.
“Yeah, why?” Your reply comes clipped, already in a bad mood just from anticipating your rejected leave application.
“I heard the results of the balloting for the meet and greet passes came out yesterday,” Jeongguk’s bright eyes are on your face. “Do you know agust d, Jimin?”
The blonde haired man shrugs as part of his face appears from behind his computer.
“Anyway, I think only like five people got the passes, and as of yesterday night, there are already bidders on the black market willing to pay almost a thousand just for one pass,” Jeongguk continues on.
“Huh, really? Who’d be that crazy to pay that much money?” You muse, looking at your phone.
“Right?” Jeongguk sighs dramatically. You know he’d be extra salty if you told him you won passes to the meet and greet. You’d already made the mistake of letting slip that you managed to get a VIP ticket, and Jeongguk had sulked for an entire week after that. “I mean, what are the chances anyway? If you think about it, those people who won the passes must be die-hard fans, since you can only win one if you managed to get a VIP ticket. Which die-hard fan would sell their hard won passes like that?”
The conversation tapers off as you reply to some emails, but you can’t help but glance back at your phone. A thousand dollars just for a meet and greet pass. That’s just crazy. The amount of money some people are willing to spend… it almost makes you wonder if you could… sell it since you can’t make it anyway…
No. No. You can’t sell agust d’s love just for a thousand dollars. You wouldn’t even sell it for a million dollars. Shame on you.
Hushed whispers suddenly erupt around you, and Jeongguk hisses like a startled cat.
“Shit, SD’s coming! Fuck, I was in the middle of a game,” Jeongguk scrambles to turn off his phone, muttering under his breath that his teammates are going to kick him off the team next time.
You sit straighter in your seat and turn your head towards the aisle. Sure enough, Bae Joohyun is fast approaching like a hurricane bent on destruction. Her face is as black as her outfit.
“Jimin, since you’re new, just copy what I do. Look at your computer and don’t speak unless spoken to,” Jeongguk’s eyes are wide with fear, but he is frantically typing away on his keyboard, turning to glance at the timid man beside him. “Got it? Don’t show any fear, she can scent it like a shark with blood in the water. No matter what you do, don’t make eye contact with her if she isn’t talking to you.”
When Jimin doesn’t respond, Jeongguk glances hurriedly to the younger man. “Did you hear me?!”
“Y-yes.” It’s the first word you’ve heard this man utter, and it is somewhat strangled and you barely catch it over the rising panic that unfolds around you.
“Who d’you think she’s here for?” Jeongguk whispers to you.
“No idea,” you choke out with a closed throat, even though you have a very good idea who she’s here for.
As Bae Joohyun nears your cluster of desks, she slows down. Her eagle eyes scan the floor where all the employees are huddled at their seats, typing away with hunched shoulders. You can feel her gaze land on you, and you close your eyes briefly to say a prayer for mercy.
“______.”
Your name is uttered into the silence, and Jeongguk’s eyes shift just a fraction to glance at you. They are wide with fear. Beside him, Park Jimin’s eyes dart to yours from behind his thick black glasses. But none of them move.
“Y-yes?” You turn in your chair to face Bae Joohyun.
“You applied for emergency half day leave this pm, am I correct?” The witch herself holds up your leave application form. “Seeing as it’s this last minute, it must be urgent. What’s wrong with you this time?”  
It’s dead silent. Everyone is pretending to work at their desks, but you know all too well that what they’re really doing is eavesdropping on this conversation. Well, eavesdropping is too generous a term, considering that this conversation is made fully public.
“I… I’m…” You stutter and stumble over your words, struggling to think of a plausible excuse. Some part of you had hoped for a miracle, prayed to the gods eight times last night that Bae Joohyun would be in a merciful mood this morning and grant you the leave without asking.
You glance at Jeongguk, and by now he’s worked everything out silently in his head. His expression says everything. But he doesn’t dare to even look you in the eye.
Instead of him, you realise that another pair of eyes are watching you instead. Park Jimin’s head is tilted to the side, his eyes are observing your mini panic attack without darting away for once.
“Well? What’s wrong with you, I asked,” Bae Joohyun demands.
You can practically hear the clock ticking off the seconds till her patience runs out. Between that and Park Jimin’s persistent stare, your mind just goes blank, and you utter the first words that come to mind.
“I… I’m having morning sickness!”
“What?” Bae Joohyun’s tone is, for the first time, one of shock. “What did you just say?”
Despite Bae Joohyun’s presence, Taehyung from Baby Bonus has turned around in his seat. “Morning sickness? You don’t mean to say you’re…”
Your eyes dart around wildly all over the place in response to what you think Taehyung is implying. God dammit, if not for his fucking comment, you could have diverted it down a less conspicuous path.
“Pregnant?” Namjoon from HR pipes up. “______, are you pregnant? When were you planning on notifying HR?”
Oh god. Things are moving too fast. Slowly, people are turning around in their chairs and inviting themselves into what should be a private conversation between you and Bae Joohyun. Curious looks are directed your way, and you are tongue tied.
“______, I didn’t know you were married! You’ve been keeping it from us this whole time?” Someone from Pre-Schools, you think his name is Seokjin, exclaims in a chiding tone.
“No!” Your voice bursts out from somewhere. It sounds far away to your ears. “No, I’m not married!! I just had a… a… a one night stand.”
Fuck. You’re digging yourself into a deeper hole.
“A one-night stand?” Bae Joohyun narrows her eyes. Somehow you can see that she doesn’t really buy it. She is scanning your face intently, and if there’s even a shred of uncertainty, she will catch it.
“With him!” Pointing at the one person who’s been silent all this time, you can feel the gazes shift from you. You know what they say about a liar. They always have this compulsive need to supplement their lies with arbitrary details.
But it works, and everyone’s attention is now on Park Jimin. You can see his eyes dart around briefly for a moment before they return to yours. But they don’t seem any more panicked or surprised than they usually do. He is as cool and collected as he always is, and he doesn’t say a word, as usual.
“Damn, you and Park Jimin?” It’s Jeongguk who speaks up this time. “Who would have thought? I mean, the guy just started yesterday, that must have been hell of a welcome party you gave him.”
Several giggles and snickers break out in response to his lewd joke.
“Shut up Jeon, that’s not how pregnancy works,” Namjoon rolls his eyes. “They must have met each other months ago. Is this going to be another HR concern though? Inter-departmental relationships?”
Bae Joohyun glances down her nose at you derisively. “I have no wish to know what you do in your free time. But I must ask, Ms _____, that you inform HR immediately of any condition you have that might affect your ability to work.”
The intimidation wrought by Bae Joohyun is replaced by anger at her words. No wish to know about your personal matters, when she was the one who decided it was appropriate to ask why you need to take leave in front of the whole department? What if this was a real situation and you were facing an unplanned pregnancy? Instead of being offered sympathy and support, you’re faced with judgement. This woman is entirely heartless and should not be the head of a pro-family planning division. Not to mention that discussing your leave application publicly is utterly inappropriate. It’s this thought that gives you the courage to speak.
“So can I be approved?” You look her directly in the eye, throwing your shame out the window. What’s done is done. Since the whole department thinks you got knocked up from a one-night stand with a colleague, you might as well use it to your advantage. “For my half day leave. Can it be approved?”
A few beats of silence follow as Bae Joohyun looks cornered for the first time. There is an unspoken pressure even as people turn back to their desks to continue working. If she turns you down in front of everyone like this, she could quite possibly get reported for discrimination against pregnant women. Though it is unspoken, your shoulders relax as you realise you have the upper hand in this situation.
Bae Joohyun takes a deep breath.
“Fine. Approved.”
*
Wednesday morning, Jeongguk is an eager puppy trailing after you, begging for pictures and a blow by blow account of the concert.
“Just watch my Instagram story or something, I literally have no voice to talk to you right now,” you roll your eyes. Truth be told, your voice isn’t that bad off, but you just want to bask in that post concert afterglow for a moment.
“What was he like in person? Did you pass him my fan letter?” Jeongguk is relentless this morning, and his never ending chatter makes Park Jimin peek out curiously from behind his computer.
When your eyes meet, you freeze on the spot like a deer in the headlights. On Tuesday you left right after Bae Joohyun approved you, seeing as it was almost lunch time anyway. You decided that after winning a war, one rightly deserves to enjoy a stress free, worryless night out before returning to the battlegrounds once more.
But now that you’re here, it is a whole different story. Park Jimin glances at you wordlessly before resuming typing, and the awkwardness is killing you. You feel bad enough that you implicated him in this whole mess, probably ruined his reputation around here and maybe even giving HR a reason to keep a closer eye on him. But regardless, you probably should talk to the man and attempt to explain things, and at the very least, apologise.
“…ask him when his next mixtape is dropping?” Jeongguk is still at it.
“Hey, um, Jimin? If you have a moment this morning, can I speak to you in private?” You lean to the side to attempt to catch a glimpse of Park Jimin.
There is a slight pause before Jimin’s head appears, and he meets your eye for a moment before looking away again. He nods once before turning his head in the direction of an empty meeting room.
“Woah, should you be doing that in your condition, though?” Jeongguk comments with a lewd smirk even as his eyes lower to your mid-section, and you give him a scathing glare in response as you close your laptop.
“Shut up, Jeon. Just for the record, I ripped up and threw your letter in the trash,” you hiss at him, eliciting a horrified gasp as you follow Jimin to the meeting room.
*
“So, um…” You start off awkwardly once the door is closed.
Park Jimin is twiddling his thumbs, head bowed shyly and he refuses to make eye contact with you. Now that you think of it, his nerd glasses actually suit him quite well, but it’s just a shame that he’s too painfully shy to actually look anyone in the eye. He is quite a good looking guy, but maybe he has issues with his self-esteem is all.
“I wanted to apologise, first of all. And also explain myself,” you take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dragged you into my mess. It’s just that- I… I just haven’t had a fucking break from Bae Joohyun ever since I started working in this fucking place.”
All the resentment just pours right out, and you’d be ashamed of yourself for using vulgarities at the workplace were it not for Park Jimin finally glancing up at you with a tiny smile on his face.
“I heard the rumours about her. So they’re true.” Jimin’s voice is still a little hesitant, wondering how much he should be gossiping about Bae Joohyun with another co-worker who could so easily rat him out and get him in trouble. But then, seeing as you’ve already managed to implicate him within a day of knowing him, how much dirtier can you do him, really? The thought brings a wry smile to his face once more. But then again, it seems like everyone here is more or less united by their intense dislike for Bae Joohyun. You of all people probably dislike her the most.
“True? What kind of rumours did you hear? And from where?” Intrigued by the man whom you’ve exchanged less than two words with before claiming to have had a one-night stand and a resulting pregnancy with, you lean forward in your seat.
Jimin shrugs. “Glassdoor.”
His response catches you off guard, and you are laughing with your hands over your mouth. “Oh my god. Please tell me you read the one where someone spit in her coffee. That was me.”
Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Really? I thought that was by a 54 year old IT engineer.”
“I can’t be putting my real age and designation on there, can I?” You point out.
“Were you the one who bagged dog shit and hid it in her office?” Jimin has that tiny smile again, and you have to admit it’s sort of cute when he comes out of his shell. He is even more handsome when he smiles, brighter and somewhat infectious.
“19 year old marketing intern? Yep, that was me,” you sigh in contentment as you remember rage writing all those Glassdoor reviews after a particularly bad meeting that one week. You didn’t actually do all of those things, but just imagining it and writing public reviews was enough for you to get your imagined revenge.
“ ‘Hid some dog shit in her office so she can be reminded of how shitty her management style is’,” Jimin recites from memory. “You know, I almost withdrew my application because of that review.”
Jimin’s dead serious tone makes you laugh again. The sound of your laughter fills the empty meeting room, and you have to admit that this is the most relaxed and carefree you’ve felt while working here.
But belatedly you realise that you’ve gone very off topic, so you sober up and attempt to try to get things back on track again. “So anyway, about the um… one-night stand thing. We can just lie low for a while and make up some shit later. Tell them the baby didn’t make it or something.”
Jimin nods thoughtfully, tapping his chin. “Or we can say it was a false positive. Less for you to go through since people would be all over you with pity and sympathy if we said that. I don’t think you’d wanna be pretend to be distraught over an imaginary baby.”
“That’s right, you’re a genius!” You marvel the way he just comes up with these ideas so easily. “How did you know about false positives?”
Jimin only shrugs, pushes his glasses up on his nose a little and he seems to be blushing. “I studied biology as an elective back in university.”
There’s a pause of silence before you look him in the eye again. “I really am sorry, you know. For making you go through all this. I kind of just panicked and didn’t think before speaking.”
But Jimin doesn’t seem to be making as big of a deal of it as you are. “Y’know, it’s fine. It ispretty exciting to be accused of having a one-night stand on my very first day. Aside from that, things can only go up, right?’
It takes you a moment or two to realise that he’s making a joke, delivered in that deadpan way of his that betrays his sweet, innocent face. At your harried expression, Jimin breaks the act and giggles, and you nearly slump over with relief.
“So, I guess we have to act like we’re in a relationship too?” Jimin adds as an afterthought.
“It’s up to you, we don’t really have to make it that obvious,” you shrug as you get up from your seat and push the chair back to its original position. “I’m fine with being an unwed mother for a bit. I wouldn’t wanna trouble you any more than I already have. You don’t have to do anything else for me.”
Jimin is silent as he follows your lead toward the door. When the both of you are almost halfway back to your seats, he stops you with a brief clearing of his throat. “It wouldn’t bother me at all.”
You look back at him for a moment, and he just gives you another one of those shy little smiles as he goes back to his desk. For the rest of the afternoon, you find that you don’t really mind having an open office policy, not if it allows you glimpses of cute Park Jimin in his nerd glasses sitting opposite you.
*
The ruse goes on without a hitch for at least a few weeks. Here and there you get the odd look of curiosity and perhaps a little judgement from a few of the older ladies who tsk behind your back about you being a single unwed mother, but otherwise, things are better than ever. Just knowing that you have the freedom to take medical leave whenever you feel like it has improved your mood greatly, and the other day Namjoon from HR even came to tell you that you can come into work later if the morning sickness is really bothering you.
Most of all, people are also curious about the relationship between you and Park Jimin. Word has spread that he is the father of your pseudo baby by now, but thankfully no one is tactless enough to outright ask if you and Park Jimin are a couple now. Not even Namjoon from HR.
Monday morning comes, and you drag yourself into work, feeling slightly more worse for wear than usual. Every Monday, you have a progress meeting with your immediate superior that always leaves you in a bad mood after. It’s the same old tirade; getting piled with things that others have no time for, having previously submitted proposals rejected and being asked to redo them.
Today after the meeting, Jimin comes up to you just as you’re downing your fourth cup of coffee before 10am. He has a slightly anxious look on his face, one that’s out of place on his usual calm and composed self.
“Do you have a minute? We need to talk. Now.” Jimin turns immediately and starts walking towards the nearest meeting room, and in spite of yourself, your eyes are drawn to his ass in those pants. It almost makes up for the earful you got from your manager this morning. Almost.
“We’re in trouble,” Jimin says once you close the door to the meeting room. He is seated with his laptop open in front of him.
“What happened? Is it Taehyung from Baby Bonus again? I swear, if he accidentally deleted the whole archive, I’m going to shove a chair up his ass-“
“No, no it’s not about work,” Jimin swallows hard as he types something and turns his laptop to face you. “Over the weekend, someone wrote on my wall. They said- they wrote- just… just see for yourself.”
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“Oh my god.” You hand flies to your mouth as horror slams into your gut. “I’ll kill him. I’ll kill that stupid punk with my own two hands. Delete it now!!!”
“That’s not the point,” Jimin’s voice sounds strangled as he directs your attention to the comments. “That’s my Granny. She saw it.”
The full extent of the damage done doesn’t hit you until you read Park JungMin’s comment.
“What was your granny doing up at freaking 5am???” You hiss in anger, poking Jimin’s shoulder.
“I don’t know- she’s an old person! She probably couldn’t sleep!” Jimin snaps back.
“Why didn’t you delete it immediately after you saw it!?” You accuse Jimin, pointing a finger at him. “None of this would have happened if you just deleted the post!!!”
“I only saw it this morning, for your information,” Jimin turns his head away from you and crosses his arms. “Forgive me for having a normal sleep schedule.”
“Fucking Jeon Jeongguk, I’ll kill him, I really will,” you mutter as you start to pace back and forth, already contemplating the numerous ways in which you can torture him.
“What are we going to do?” Jimin’s hands hover nervously over his laptop. “Granny will be so disappointed if she finds out it’s a lie. Maybe we should just come clean.”
You whirl around in indignance. “We can’t do that!!! It’s far too soon, if the truth comes out now, everyone will know I was just faking it. We need to wait at least three months. I researched, that’s the most likely time for a woman to have a miscarriage. Why did you have to add your grandmother on Facebook??”
“Hey-! She just wants updates on my life because she lives all the way in Busan!!” Jimin looks affronted when you mention his granny like that. “And if we’re playing the blame game here, if it weren’t for your concert, none of this would have happened in the first place.”
“That was agust d,” you say simply, as if it explains everything. “And that’s not the point. You have to tell your granny that it’s all a lie and tell her to keep it to herself.”
“But what am I supposed to say?” Jimin whines, his bottom lip jutting out and you swear you almost see him stamp his foot like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
“I don’t know, anything! Make something up!” You throw your hands up in exasperation.
“She has a weak heart, she can’t take it,” Jimin insists as he stands up and crosses his arms. “She’ll keel over in shock if I tell her there’s no baby. And she told me she’s already booked on the first flight to Seoul. You have to take responsibility.”
The absurdity of this situation means that you can’t decide if you should laugh or cry. “Well what do you want me to do? I can’t just magic a baby into my stomach like that!”
Jimin stays silent, and the implication dawns on you.
“No way. You’re insane. You can’t possibly mean that we should-“
“She wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow night.” Jimin says finally, his eyes now pleading. “She just wants to meet you. We don’t have to tell her that there’s no baby yet. Please?”
Oh. Well, for a second there, you thought Park Jimin was about to suggest something else entirely.
“It’s just one dinner,” Park Jimin pleads eagerly.
Your head is pounding, and the stress of the entire morning has caught up with you. Everything is too overwhelming, things are moving too fast and you’re too tired to argue with him any longer.
“Fine. Just one dinner. After that, we’re coming clean with Granny.” You fix him with a meaningful stare as his face lights up in glee.
“I promise!” Park Jimin grins as he claps his hands together. “Oh and ______... you might want to go easy on the coffee there. Pregnant women can’t have too much caffeine.”
*
This is ridiculous.
Just thinking that you could be curled up at home with a nice glass of wine in bed, instead of standing nervously outside some stranger’s house makes you more huffy and annoyed than usual.
Jimin beside you shoots you a look, and you roll your eyes.
“Did you hear me? Or do I have to repeat the entire story of how we met and ended up secretly dating for five months again?” Jimin nudges you in the ribs with his elbow.
“When I said make something up, I didn’t think you were going to become a scriptwriter for Marvel,” you roll your eyes back at him. “I’m just gonna let you do the talking. Ok? If they direct any tricky questions my way, I’ll just pretend I need to puke.”
Jimin sighs a long suffering sigh as he reaches for his keys. He always envisioned the first time he brought a girl home to meet his family as a wholesome affair. He imagined himself to be feeling over the moon, a little nervous but that was to be expected, and most of all, irrevocably in love with the woman standing at his side. Taking a glance at you now, Jimin can’t say this situation is ideal.
But hey, when life gives you lemons, right?
He opens the door and leads the way in, only to be accosted by a hug from his Granny having made it only about five steps in. Her comforting embrace and familiarity makes him relax again, and he hugs her back tightly.
“Granny! I missed you! How was the flight? Does your back hurt? You should have rested more! You should have let me pick you up at the airport,” Jimin says in a chiding tone as he places an arm around her, trying to steer her towards the living room area to take a seat.
But the stubborn old woman refuses with a smile that lights up her entire face when she catches a glimpse of you. “Ah, this must be ______! She looks so pretty! Too good for our little Jimin, I must say. Come in, come in!!! Take a seat and take a load off!!! You must be tired after working the entire day, and with the baby too.”
You can barely keep yourself from wincing when she mentions the baby, but otherwise, Jimin’s Granny is a very pleasant person. She exudes an aura of warmth and you feel at home with her immediately. Her compliments make you soft; and she seems to be incredibly genuine about them too. For the next five minutes, all she does is admire you; how smooth your hands are, how good your complexion is, how smart, kind and gentle you look, and also my oh my our little Park Jimin has managed to snag such a professional for a girlfriend.
“Granny, you’re embarrassing her,” Jimin mutters with a rosy blush spread across his cheeks as he stands beside the old woman. “And me as well.”
“Nonsense,” Granny chides Jimin as she turns to you with a smile that wrinkles at the corners of her mouth. “This is the first time our little Jimin has brought a girl home, you see. We were all worried that he was… you know, batting for the other team, which would be perfectly fine, but…”
“Granny!!!” Jimin actually does stomp his foot and cross his arms. The tips of his ears are red, the blush on his cheeks is prominent. “Granny, I’m hungry. Can we eat?”
It seems like Jimin knows exactly what works on Granny, because she turns around immediately and pats Jimin’s cheek. “Alright, alright puppy. We can eat now. Come, _____, you must be hungry too now that you’re eating for two. I asked Jimin about your favourites, I hope you like them.”
You glance questioningly at Jimin for a moment over Granny’s head as the two of you follow her to the dining table and have a seat opposite each other. While Granny’s warmth is nothing but welcoming, you can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. This, at least, is not what you were expecting. Granny seems perfectly fine with the notion of you being pregnant with Jimin’s child without getting married first. Perhaps society is shedding its traditionalist viewpoints and you just hadn’t realised it.
“You know dear, when Jimin told me the news, I was so overjoyed,” Granny says with a wistful smile on her face. “It’s one of my wishes to see Jimin happy with a girl he loves. And looking at the two of you now, even if I die tomorrow, I’ll be content.”
“Granny!” Jimin admonishes sharply. “You can’t say that! Your health has been getting better, hasn’t it? Are you taking your medicines? Three times a day, like the doctor said!”
Granny pats her grandson’s hand. “I am, puppy, I am. What does an old woman like me have to live for if her only grandson doesn’t even visit her anymore? At least now I’ll have the baby to look forward to. You’ll let me take care of it for you, won’t you?”
This last part she directs to you, and you glance nervously at Jimin. This is most definitely not what you signed up for when you agreed to this dinner. With every passing second, the guilt just piles higher and higher, till you feel like you might have trouble swallowing your food.
“Mrs… Mrs Park,” you say hesitantly, speaking for the first time since you set foot in this house. Pseudo baby or not, it just wouldn’t do to hurt this kind old woman, especially since she seems so excited and happy to meet you.
“Call me Granny, please,” she says as she pushes an extra bowl of rice towards you. “You should have this too.”
“Oh no,” you say automatically. “I’m watching my weight, so I shouldn’t…”
But it was the wrong thing to say. Granny immediately perks up, sitting straight in her seat, her eagle eyes on you. “Watching your weight, dear? Why would you be doing that now? You should be eating well for the baby! Is it this little punk who’s making comments about your weight?”
Granny seizes hold of Jimin’s ear and pulls, and he whimpers in the midst of spooning a giant bite of rice into his mouth.
“NO!” You blurt out in a panic, seeing your coworker’s face screw up in pain. You have to admit that you’ve been in a number of interesting situations with Park Jimin thus far, but something tells you that this isn’t the worst of it just yet. “No, Granny! I- I take it back. I’ll eat.”
Granny lets out a hmph as she releases Jimin’s ear with a warning glance towards her grandson. As Jimin reaches for a juicy looking sparerib, Granny’s chopsticks dart out and intercept him, causing the piece of meat to fall back onto the plate. She then expertly picks it up with her own chopsticks and drops it on top of your rice with a satisfied smile.
Jimin turns to Granny with a pout on his lips, and when your heart skips a tiny, little beat, you know you’re in trouble.
*
Somehow, bad news always comes on Monday mornings.
Today it comes in the form of Park Jimin, again, as he drags you into a meeting room the moment you finish your meeting with your manager.
“What is it now?” You hiss at him as he locks the door suspiciously. “Do you really need to do that? You know people think we’re like, fucking in here, don’t you? Thanks to your buddy Jeon Jeongguk.”
“Wait, what?” Jimin does a double take. “No, that doesn’t matter. My parents. They want me to marry you.”
“WHAT?” You screech so loudly that Jimin winces and covers his ears. “Tell them no, for fuck’s sake!”
“They already apparently bought an entire plot of land in the baby’s name,” Jimin goes on adding to the bad news as if he were adding fuel to the fire. “It’s in Baby Park’s name.”
“Oh my god.” Your head swirls and you wobble on your feet, and Jimin reaches out to steady you as if you were actually pregnant. You push his hand away with an irritated glare to remind him that all this is just a ruse. One that you’re beginning to seriously regret having cooked up all those weeks ago.
“What are we going to do?” Jimin sighs as he runs a hand through his hair, taking off his glasses for a moment to rub at his temples.
“We?” You exclaim. “What do you mean, we? Why are you talking as if we’re already married? You need to resolve this situation on your own, buddy. It’s not my fault your family likes to jump the gun!”
“What about you then?” Jimin snaps back with a raised eyebrow. “Look, it’s been two months, almost three, and I don’t see you making any plans to hide a watermelon under your clothes or tell people that it’s all just a scheme you cooked up.”
You gasp indignantly. “I was- I was working up to that! You know, coming up with my cover story, setting the stage, all that!”
Park Jimin crosses his arms in disbelief. “Oh really? So you’re planning on coming clean with everyone and telling them you’re not actually pregnant? Is that why you’ve been taking medical leave every week, running to the bathroom to ‘throw up’ every morning that you’re noton leave?”
“Have you been watching me?”
“A little hard not to, considering you sit right opposite me!”
The two of you are panting and staring hard at each other, both wrapped up in your own anger.
“Look, I’ll forget everything else. Just tell your parents to sell the land or something. The price of land has gone up recently, I’m sure they can still make a valuable profit if they sell now…”
Jimin’s eyebrow twitches. “Sell the land? When they think it’s for their precious grandchild?”
“There. Is. No. Grandchild,” you spit back at him. “Oh my god. We’re just going in circles here. I need to get back to work. My manager already gave me hell this morning, and I don’t need this from you too.”
You leave him in the meeting room and make your way swiftly back your desk, waking your laptop and checking your emails. A few minutes pass before you can fully calm yourself down and reorientate to what needs to be done. First, you redo that spreadsheet, feeling slightly better once you drown out the entire world and just focus on the numbers and cells in front of you. In fact, you forget about this whole terrible mess for a moment or two.
“Hey, _______?” There is a tap on your shoulder, and you turn around to see your manager hovering behind you. She bends down to squint at your screen, “You’re not still redoing the spreadsheet, are you? Our meeting ended an hour ago, you should be done with that by now!”
“I-I’m sorry, something came up, and I…” your voice is weak compared to hers, and vaguely you can see Park Jimin lean over slightly in his seat. “I’m done with it now. I’ll send it over.”
“Good. And get started on the operations manual. I need it all by 5pm today.” Your manager gives you a pat on the back, starts to walk off, and then hesitates. “I know you’re in a rather… delicate situation, but that shouldn’t affect your ability to work. It’s a busy period of time, _____, and I expect nothing but the best from my team. Got it?”
You swallow hard as you try and return her smile. “Got, it, Manager.”
Turning back to your screen, tears are blurring your vision as you attach the document to an email and send it off. You can feel the curious stares of your coworkers all on you, and you feel more self-conscious than ever. Never mind that pretending to be pregnant is all a ruse. It was supposed to make your life better, give you some breathing space, but you feel more suffocated than ever.
You need some air. Now.
Standing up, you grab your phone and dip your head, striding for the exit quickly so that no one catches the expression on your face. Hopefully, they’ll think you need to puke or something, and not pathetically hide in a corner and cry your eyes out. Thankfully, this morning you had the foresight not to apply any eye makeup, so you can rub your eyes as much as you want.
This corner is actually pretty nice. It’s secluded that no one would accidentally wander in and find a hysterically sobbing woman, yet it’s not too far that you can’t make it back to your desk within five minutes if your manager calls. You wipe your face with the back of your sleeve, taking a deep breath and getting ready to go back and face everything once more, when you notice a pair of loafers standing a few steps away.
“Are you okay?” Park Jimin’s voice is familiar. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… intrude, but you just looked so upset and… she was totally unreasonable. Using that as an excuse to comment on your work ethic. Just unacceptable.”
He is shaking his head with a serious expression on his face, and it makes you laugh suddenly. Jimin looks up in surprise, eyes wide, but then a small smile spreads across his face as well as he tucks his hands into his pockets. It occurs to you that if Park Jimin weren’t here, no one else would have come to check up on you.
“I’m used to it,” you shrug as you check your reflection in your phone screen. “It’s just… I just need to cry once and I’m fine. You weren’t supposed to see this side of me,” you attempt a weak laugh. “You’re only supposed to know the bad bitch side of me.”
“You can still be a bad bitch even if you cry every now and then,” Jimin shrugs as if it’s obvious. “If you’re done crying, can we go for lunch? I’m starving.”
*
You make Jimin buy you some meat and you wolf it down in front of him as if you really were eating for two. To his benefit, Jimin says nothing and only takes out his wallet when it’s time to pay.
On the way back to the office, feeling decently satisfied and absolutely sure that you have a tiny little food baby (with today’s dress being particularly unforgiving around the midsection), you can’t help but feel a little bit better. Maybe Park Jimin isn’t so bad after all.
“______? Oh my god, ______? Is that you?” A far off voice calls, and you turn back.
And you wish you hadn’t.
Min Yoongi comes striding towards you with a huge grin on his face, waving as if he can’t believe it’s really you.
“Shit shit shit,” you swear under your breath. How much unluckier can this day get?
Jimin looks at you quizzically.
“It’s my bastard ex who cheated on me by getting another girl pregnant,” you whisper to him by way of explanation. “They got married last month but I never responded to their invitation.”
“Oh,” Jimin says, immediately grasping the situation. “I got it. Don’t worry.”
“What?” You look at him in panic, seeing the expression on his face and not liking it one bit. “What are you gonna-“
But it’s too late now for any further conversation, since Min Yoongi is now in earshot. He grins again as he looks you up and down. “_____! What a surprise! Do you work around here?”
“Y-yeah, what a surprise too,” you say weakly.
“I haven’t seen you in ages!” Yoongi’s eyes dart to Jimin standing beside you for a moment, before they fall to your midsection. “But might as well. I wanted to congratulate you on the baby, because what a coincidence, right?”
He hands you a beautifully embossed invitation card with the words ‘Baby Shower’ on it, and you can feel your face draining of all colour. You swear under your breath.
“Oh! And this must be… the father-to-be?” Yoongi somehow doesn’t pick up on the escalating horror on your face, because he turns to Jimin and extends a hand of congratulations. “Congrats, man! How’s it feel? Excited to become a dad?”
Jimin sneaks a quick peek at your horrified expression. “Y-yes! Absolutely…. Um, thrilled, we are.”
At Jimin’s confirmation, Yoongi’s face seems to fall a little, and seeing it makes your heart clench in vindication. Serves that cheating little bastard right.
“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone, ______... let alone serious enough to… have a baby and all that,” Yoongi’s voice mellows a little as he directs his gaze back to you. “I thought you didn’t want to have children… for a while, at least.”
You detect a little bit of regret in Yoongi’s voice, and maybe a little bit of something you can’t quite put your finger on right now. In your five-year long relationship with him, Yoongi always made it clear that he wanted to have children as soon as possible. It was one of the major roadblocks in your relationship, and eventually it became the tipping point that drove him into the arms of another woman who was desperate enough to pop out his babies for him.
Wait a minute. It almost sounds as if Min Yoongi is trying to blame you for making him cheat. All of a sudden, you want to show him how you’ve been living all these months. Completely fine and happy without him. Better off, even. You want to make this cheating bastard realise that you’re not pathetic. You open your mouth in indignation, but before you can say anything, you hear Jimin’s voice.
“It all happened so fast, really,” Jimin shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “When I saw her I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and you know how life is… We aren’t getting any younger either, so we thought why not try for a baby while we’re at it? She’s perfect for me, and we’re very happy together.”
Jimin does it better than you ever would have been able to. His words are so smooth that even you are convinced that the two of you are in a stable relationship together. Glancing at him, Jimin looks so self-assured and confident that he puts Min Yoongi to shame.
Min Yoongi looks shell shocked. “R-right. Th-that’s really nice, I’m ha-happy for you guys. Congratulations again.”  
You have no idea how Jimin is making all of this up, but the look on Min Yoongi’s face is enough. It almost makes up for when you found out about the breakup through the pre-wedding invitations he sent you.
“But we- we haven’t really told anyone yet, so how did you find out?” A frown creases your brow as you mentally run through a list of people who know about this pseudo pregnancy. The whole company, for one. Jimin’s Granny. Jimin’s family. And now Min Yoongi. But the question is, who told Min Yoongi? It’s not like he has any links with Jimin’s family.
“I mean… I saw the bump,” Yoongi scratches the back of his neck as his eyes drop briefly to your waist. “And um… I know you blocked me on social media a while ago. But I just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re doing. And I saw someone post on Jimin’s wall about the baby. So I kind of put two and two together.”  
There’s an awkward silence as your hands immediately fold over your waist, your cheeks heating up self-consciously. You can feel Jimin struggle not to burst into laughter beside you, and you surreptitiously elbow him hard in the ribs.
“Anyway, um… I hope you’ll come to the shower,” Yoongi nods at the invitation again. “It’s on Sunday, and feel free to bring Jimin too. I uh… invited your mom too. I mean, it’s just… Your family wanted to know how Yeji and I were getting along with the baby and… we were so close so I figured…”
At this point the humiliation can’t get any worse. So you decide to just cut him off with a formal smile that you hope doesn’t look too forced.
“We’ll be there, Yoongi. See you.”
*
It’s fine. It’s all fine. Even if Min Yoongi knows, it’s all fine. You can just attend this baby shower, just show your face for about an hour or so and then disappear from his life altogether. And then he won’t even know that you didn’t have a baby.
The very definition of co-workers means that you only see each other on weekdays from 9am to 6pm. But if that’s true, then somehow along the way, you and Jimin had progressed far beyond the point of just being co-workers, to the point that you’re somehow spending half of your weekend with him.
You sigh to yourself as you watch all your friends’ kids run about screaming at the top of your lungs. You’re already beginning to get a headache from all these irritating little gremlins making so much noise. At least you’re not being asked to play with or look after any of the children. Seeing that you and Yoongi had dated for a substantial amount of time, most of the attendees at this baby shower are your mutual friends, and it’s awkward to say the least.
At least you have Park Jimin with you to be your pretend boyfriend slash husband so you won’t seem like the pathetic ex-girlfriend attending her cheater ex-boyfriend’s baby shower for his new wife. So far there haven’t been any difficult questions, just curious looks from your friends whom you haven’t seen in a really long time because you’re just so tied up with work.
“Hey babe, come here! This is really fun,” Jimin shouts to you from one of the game stations, and you have no choice but to stop sulking in the corner like an evil brooding witch.
(One of your friend’s kids had pointed an accusing finger at you the moment you arrived at the shower with a not so thrilled expression on your face.
“Mama, why is the evil witch wearing yellow, mama? Is she here to curse Sleeping Beauty?”)
“This is really fun,” Jimin says again as he pulls the blindfold off with a grin on his face. “Pin the diaper on the baby poo.”
He points to a target board with a questionable looking substance smeared all over the centre of it. The person next in line is blindfolded and trying to pin the diaper in the centre of the board, and there are disappointed yells when he misses.
To his credit, Jimin really does look as if he’s having fun. He’s been the only person to score a point at this game, and he’s acing all the other games: guess the baby food, pin the sperm on the egg, etc etc.
“I’m notpinning the diaper on the baby poo,” you frown at him. Who the hell comes up with these games? “Is there any wine here? God, I need a drink.”
Before you can wander away, Jimin grasps your elbow. “You can’t drink,” he says with a serious, chiding look on his face. “You’re pregnant.”
“No one here knows that, do they?” You roll your eyes at him and sidestep a screaming toddler who is barrelling down the walkway. For someone who was present at the time of conception of this scheme, Park Jimin really is taking this way too seriously.
Jimin sighs and follows you to the beverages table in defeat. If he can’t stop you from drinking, the least he can do is hold up his jacket around you to make sure you don’t get caught. But then, a very rounded, glowing looking pregnant woman suddenly accosts you, and by the look on your face, Jimin surmises that this can only be Yeji, the woman Yoongi cheated on you with.
“Ye-Yeji, you look… um… wonderful!” Your strangled voice gets lost as Yeji envelopes you in a huge hug, forcing you to squeeze up against her bump. “Congratulations!”
The mother-to-be is all smiles, her makeup is perfectly done and there is an ever present glow on her face. She looks like an absolute goddess in her flowy white dress and wavy hair, and its moments like this that remind you that Yoongi left you for someone better.
“I feel wonderful, thank you!” She places a hand on her protruding belly. “Oh, I was just chatting with your mother over here, you haven’t said hi to her have you? She’s been complaining to me that you don’t have time for her anymore!”
Fuck. Your mother. You’ve been avoiding her calls and messages for the past few months, and you give her a weak smile as she comes over with a dark look on her face. It’s not that you’re doing this on purpose, it’s just that the breakup with Yoongi was beyond messy. Everyone’s parents are naturally on their side after a breakup, but somehow your parents remained on Yoongi’s. Every call would be about Yeji’s pregnancy, how their baby room was progressing, how many kicks she felt in a day, all those needless details that only felt like repeated stabs to the heart when you were trying to heal and get on with your life.
“…I’m so glad you could come. When Yoongi told me the news, I was so excited I thought my water was going to break!” Yeji is gesturing excitedly as she gushes to your mother, and you freeze in panic.
She couldn’t have…
“_____, I can’t believe you’re pregnant too!”
Her exclamation has a few of your friends nearby turning around, and a few of them start to clap. Yoongi elbows his way through the crowd, his hair matted with sweat as he pants with exertion.
“Baby, you were supposed to wait for my cue!” He admonishes his wife with a slight frown, but then he kisses her lips when Yeji pouts.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait! It’s all just so exciting, I can’t believe _____ is going to have a baby too! I remember feeling so guilty in my first few months of pregnancy that I could barely sleep…”
“I know, I know, baby,” Yoongi shushes her with a kiss to her forehead. “Anyway, _____ and Jimin, we uh… we prepared something for you. We hope you like it, and uh… _____, I hope it can make up for all the shit I put you through in the past year.”
At this point, you don’t even dare to look at your mother. “Wh-what did you prepare?”
“It’s over there! In front of the photowall,” Yeji claps in excitement. “Go on! Everyone’s waiting!”
Everyone at the party clears a path for you and Jimin to make your way to the colourfully decorated photowall at the front of the party. On the floor in front of it sits a brown cardboard box.
With all eyes on you, you swallow hard and start to make your way to the photowall. Jimin follows behind you, whispering under his breath. “What the fuck is this?”
“Probably another lame party game or something… just play along,” you whisper back, your mind too preoccupied with thinking about how you’re going to explain your pseudo pregnancy to your mother. Knowing her disposition, it’s entirely possible that your father knows about it already, and maybe even your entire extended family, and… oh god-
The moment you step in front of the photowall, someone standing to the side of the box pulls something, and an explosion of balloons and streamers burst from the box. You are quite literally showered in confetti, and when you look up, there are four balloons spelling out the word ‘baby’, and another balloon with ‘congratulations’ on it.
“Congratulations on your baby!!!!” Someone shouts, and people are taking out their phones to take pictures of you and Jimin drenched in confetti. Someone claps, and soon, the entire party is clapping. There are hoots of congratulations, someone proposes a toast, your college friends are almost in tears, your sister is loudly announcing that this should go on Instagram, your mother is half crying and half glowering at you for not telling her sooner, and everyone is talking about you and your non-existent baby.
Beside you, Jimin is equally stunned, but unlike you, he isn’t at a loss for words. He pulls you in close, pretending to pose for the cameras with a jovial smile on his face.
He still has the gall to joke around as he says, “maybe we should have that baby after all.”
In the blink of an eye, things just got very, very out of hand.
*
Number of people who know about pregnancy
Whole company: (estimated 200 people)
Jimin’s Granny
Jimin’s family
Min Yoongi and wife
Attendees of Yoongi’s baby shower (estimated 50 people)
Your family
Total: 265 people
*
2K notes · View notes
loveislattes · 4 years
Text
NSFW Alphabet - Yandereplier
These are all personal opinions of mine. Of course, others might see it differently, but I hope you all enjoy the read no matter what!
(Re-post! The original got removed because I had an actual sex gif in here, so now there’s just a link!)
Also, I hope no one minds, but I completely h/c as Yan still being a male that just enjoys wearing female clothing, and looking totally adorable doing it! <3
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Yandere is all about the cuddles. In fact, he’ll probably wrap himself around you like an octopus, or request you do the same to him if he’s feeling brave enough. All the while, he’ll press soft kisses over your face and the top of your head, whispering how much he loves you and how amazing you are to him. He’ll be sure to make you feel like royalty.
B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He can’t pick a favorite part of his body, but if his lover really, really pushed for it, he’d say his mouth. It lets him kiss them, please them, and taste them.
His favorite part of his lover though, oh, that’s equally as difficult because he loves everything about them. He would tell him he loved the passion in their eyes, the tilt of cuteness in their smile, the softness of their skin, the way they feel touching him, the voice that so perfectly says his name; Literally everything. He won’t find fault in his partner in even the darkest corners.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He thinks cum is messy, and he can’t bring himself to soil the perfection of his lover by cumming on them. On the other hand though, when his lover explodes and coats his mouth in their cum, or it drips down his body? He finds it unbelievably erotic. He also enjoys the claiming act of having his cum spill deep inside his lover as they twitch and flutter around him like mad.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Yan had of course lusted long and hard over his lover, viewing them as his senpai for a long time before finally approaching them. It took him months of dating them to start relaxing around them, but no matter how long they’re together, he’ll always see them as his senpai and hold that reverence for them in his head. Sometimes during sex, he calls them senpai in a whisper that they can’t hear, just because he’s still in awe to have them.
He is also a switch, but he’d never let anyone other than his lover know it. His lover needs a dominant person? He’ll gladly fill that role. His lover is into being dominant? He won’t hesitate to submit to them.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Yandere had very little experience, having no real interest in others until he met his lover. Once he found them, whoo boy. He did a mountain of research, and he always strives to improve sex for his lover (no matter how many times they tell him that he’s already blown their mind). What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm and willingness.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
YandereFavoritePositionGifOne
YandereFavoritePositionGifTwo
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He’s pretty serious during sex. He makes it his personal mission to do everything right so he pleases you beyond your wildest dreams. If you were to giggle about something, it would take a bunch of hugs and kisses to reassure him that you weren’t laughing at him before he could get back into the mood.
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Yan grooms himself however his lover prefers and has no preference for his lover as long as they’re comfortable.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Yandere is incredibly romantic. He’ll start with soft words and gentle kisses raining down your face, trailing down your neck and chest, all the while whispering everything he loves about the area he’s kissing.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
He hardly ever jacks off, and it’s usually only by his lover’s request to do so. He had little to no sex drive before his lover and sees what urges he does have as a waste unless he can spend it with them.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Yan is rather vanilla when left to his own devices.
However, he has a huge body worship kink. He wants to take his time and make each part of your body feel amazing. The little hollow under your knee, the sensitive patch of skin below your navel, the sweet spot on your neck, he’ll make sure to hit every single spot that brings your pleasure, and it turns him on to do it!
He also has an enormous praise kink. While he wants to worship you and tell you every part he loves about you, it drives him insane to hear that he pleases you. Whether it’s his name said in a breathy moan, or you’re screaming about how good he makes you feel, it’s an aphrodisiac with him.
If his lover were more dominant, he has no issues playing submissive for them. He’ll get into, too. Begging for them, letting them edge him and tease him for as long as they wish, letting them use him for their own pleasure. He’d be the perfect sub as long as he knew his lover was happy.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
His favorite place is in bed. It’s classic, and he gets a big, soft space to take his time with you.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Praise, praise, praise! You could walk by him and make an off-hand comment about how you were still aching from last night, and he’d instantly get turned on.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
No sharing. Absolutely a hard limit for him. He also won’t go too far into hurting his lover but will instill some of the easier BDSM tactics if they really want it.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
It’s a tie for him. In giving, he gets to hear your moans and screams and feel you get off for him. In receiving, he gets to feel every little wonderful thing your mouth can do. He’d give up receiving if he had to choose, but he loves them both.
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)
Yan is usually slow and passionate, taking his time and hitting every pleasure spot he can. The only time he gets rough is if his lover requests it, or if he’s hit by jealousy. His lover had been talking to another man for too long, or let the man hug or touch them? Oh, he’d take his frustration out by fucking them into next week (with their consent of course).
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He hates quickies unless his lover demands it. He’ll do anything for them, of course. He much more prefers to take his time with them.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Yan is completely open to new kinks and toys, as he’s constantly looking for new things to amp up the pleasure for his lover in the bedroom. He won’t do anything that would risk their safety though.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
His stamina is pretty average. 1-2 rounds and done. The foreplay and oral and worship can take anywhere from ten to twenty minutes, and the actual sex is about the same. He’s learned amazing control over how long he can stave off his orgasm to give his partner multiple.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He owns toys that he bought for his lover, and a few in case they want him to be submissive. Whether they’re used on them or him, totally depends on the situation.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Yan doesn’t tease too much. Of course, he doesn’t realize how sexy it is when he gives you that seductive stare because he’s thinking something dirty about you.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Oh, he’s loud as can be. Moaning, grunting, whining, groaning. You name it, he does it. He doesn’t hold back just how good you make him feel, telling you in panicked breaths as he teeters right on the edge of climax. It’s not usual to hear your voice screamed into the pillow beneath you.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Totally believe that when he’s drinking, he’s the subbiest sub. Male or female lover, it won’t matter. He’ll ask them to fuck/peg him from behind and use him like a filthy toy for their pleasure. Drunk yan is a kinky yan.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Slightly over average in length and much thicker than average, he is hung to please the pickiest of lovers but not harm them with his size.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive is average. Before he found his lover, he had none at all. So he was shocked when he started craving physical intimacy with them.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Pretty quick. Once you’re snuggled up to him, big or little spoon, he’s out with a few sweet words.
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jamesvehrlinger · 5 years
Text
Leviathan
I awoke to the whisper of the Worm. Before, the familiars suggestions had been subtle in their impressions, but now it filled my head and nauseated me. Like a viscous liquid, the ebb and flow pounded on the sides of my skull. As I collected myself and began to focus, a deep and voluminous call resonated within the waves.
A single word,
'D I V E'.
As terror cut through the nausea, I rose to my feet and exited into the hall. I found my voice and beckoned my sisters from their quarters. My typically commanding tone escaped my mouth shrilly, suffused with fear. I felt them begin to stir, I turned and made for the bridge. The waves beat and battered the hull of the ship, I felt the juvenile welds and patchwork seals creak and groan under the immense pressure. I emerged onto the bridge, and activated the oculary. The pale-green walls became bathed in blue hues, the center filled in with the familiar deep green of the ocean of Fundament. I gasped at the sight, waves climbing leagues higher than the ship, and crashing with enough force to cause eruptions of foam to blanket the exposed platform at the nose of the ship. Had the geomagnetic stabilizers not been repaired mere days before, the ship certainly would have been thrown about, and ripped apart by the sheer mass of the surf.
I heard the voices of my sisters from the hall, their forms nearly discernible. The inner chamber of the bridge bordered absolute dark, so as to best project the image of the oculary. I turned to meet their worried murmurs, but before I could spoke the voice of the Worm filled my head again. This time, it spoke clearer and with greater conviction. I fell to my knees as the whispers cut through my thoughts and forced themselves through my ears.
It spoke again,
'T H E S K Y G R A S P S T H E L I M I T S O F Y O U R R E A L I T Y'
'I T W I L L S W A L L O W Y O U I N I T S M A N T L E'
'T U R N T O T H E D E E P T O S U R V I V E'
'D I V E'
I rose from my spell, and wrenched myself from the arms of my sisters. I grasped the oculary apparatus, and turned it skyward. Silence befell the room. Fifty-two small dots, indiscernible against the black of space, but unmissable against one of the massive suns that occupied the skies of Fundament. Our voices rang out in unison, "Father".
Prior to the destruction of our home, our Father had begun to descend into what his people called madness. He would ramble, walking the halls of the Osmium Court, about the movement of the bodies in the sky, about great and terrible calamities, about the Syzygy, the God Wave. He was called mad by his detractors, even I believed his mind had been lost to time. However, now I know the truth. The form of the worm draped over his neck spoke to him. And now it speaks to me in his stead. After the usurpation of the Osmium Throne, The King's three daughters, my Sisters and I, fled the Court. As we stole away on one of the traitor's ships, our Father's final words echoed throughout the bloody halls. "Aurash, my first daughter! The moons are different! The laws are bent!". I ruminated on those words for days at a time, and now they have come to exact their toll.
I turned to address my sisters. They both stood in shocked silence. I found my voice and told them of the Worm's whispers, of it's promise of salvation. They were quick to skepticism- they spoke of the immense pressure of the methane ocean, the scalding heat of the planet's core, to dive would be certain death. I turned to the Oculary, and with an outstretched arm gestured to the titanic waves. "And, is to allow our oaths to be buried in the waves not the same fate?" Their eyes narrowed, and their gaze shifted. I raised my voice. "I am Aurash the Navigator. I will not allow our crusade on the traitorous Brood Mother to be ended by mere waves." I turned from them and placed my hand the console. The Worm had guided us in our escape, it had guided us in our desperation, and it had procured for us the means to our salvation. "The Worm granted us this ship, and I will trust it with my life."
The ship bellowed as the thrusters turned skyward. The nose of the ship dipped below the waves, and in a moment we were enveloped in the Deep.
I do not know for how long we dove. As the pressure and temperature gauges whined and groaned under the immense stress, I began to feel tinges of doubt. Had I made the wrong choice? Had the Worm deceived us, in our desperation? I stole glances at my sisters, both pairs of eyes widened in terror. As the doubt and fear overwhelmed me, I snapped my eyes shut. And then, nothing. All in a moment, the sound of the gauges, the creaking of the hull, the immense crashing waves, were silenced. The lack of sound felt almost tangible, like a weight that fell on my shoulders. I stood and turned to my sisters, their fear mutated into curiosity at our current circumstances. I reactivate the Oculary, and was stunned by the sight, or lack thereof. There was no picture of our surroundings, no emanating blue hue. In all directions, there was only the Deep. The gauges read nothing. No pressure, no heat, Nothing. Compelled beyond words, I moved to the release, and opened the seal on the Bridge. As the metal hissed and receded, the way opened out to the atmosphere. No rushing methane, no immense heat, only the Deep. I walked out onto the nose of the ship and closed my eyes. In the distance, I heard it all. The deep groan of shifting continents, the subtle conventions of the waves, it was all there, but far away. So very far away.
As I began to lose myself in the serenity of it all, I became overwhelmed by a presence. It weighed on my chest and shortened my breath, it's volume dominated my vision. It's body snaked and enveloped the hull of the ship, scales the size of small continents turned and snaked around one another. As the two massive bodies parted, the creature's head emerged. A large chitinous skull, with three glowing green eyes stared me down. The ship could rest on the creature's eye alone. I felt as though I was a small dot on a universal canvas. A word took shape in my mind, the only word capable of describing such a massive creature. The Leviathan loomed over me, and it spoke. It's voice seemed to come from all directions, invading my mind as the Worm had.
It spoke unto me,
"The Deep and the Sky exist in an eternal war."
++MY EYES ARE WIDE, MY GAZE IS LONG++
"I look out across the universe, and see their works in conflict. The Sky builds refuge, cultivates the fires of life. The Deep envelopes it in its cold logic, and drowns its ashes. Fundament is a rich font of life, treasured by the Sky."
--BUT THE DEEP IS HERE WITH US--
"It's cold presses on our walls, and tests our laws. Pursuing a ruthless, final age of final Shapes."
I shouted unto the Leviathan,
"Fundament is no refuge, no safe place for life! We Krill live short, tumultuous lives! We are made prey by the cosmos themselves, an inevitable and total fate of destruction. We dive in pursuit of hope, in pursuit of salvation, in pursuit of Truth."
The Leviathan spoke unto me again.
"What call draws you down into the Deep? What call drives you to reject the sky? Small, meek Krill, I have watched your struggle for lifetimes, taut between the Sky and Deep. You were my treasure, my proof against despair."
++FOR THIS IS THE DEEP CLAIM++
"Existence is the struggle to exist. Form writhing to maintain itself against Formlessness. When Form decays, all things turn to the Deep to survive."
--I REJECT THE DEEP CLAIM--
"Turn back, small Krill of hope. Relinquish the Deep, return to the Sky."
I summoned my strength and shouted back.
"If our short and meaningless lives are our doomed fates, I will not have it! I will struggle to change Form, to writhe, to grow! I will kill anything in my way!"
The Leviathan began it's final Dirge.
"Your cold and terrible logic will be your undoing, You will embrace the Deep, and drown in it's Claim. You stand at the beginning of a path of ruin, the worship of death! The Sky builds new life, combating the invasion of death, towards a more gentle shape. The Deep embraces the invasion, submitting to it's inevitability. Submitting to formlessness."
++TURN BACK FROM THE WORLD-KILLING WAY++
--OR YOU WILL LIVE AS DEATH AND DEVASTATION--
"My charge is balanced, my voice exhausted."
As quickly as it arrived, the Leviathan receded, it's massive body becoming enveloped in the Deep again. In a moment, I was alone again. Alone with the Deep. I turned and retreated to the interior of the bridge, when I entered I addressed my sisters loudly. "The being claims that we must be content with our lives! That we must deny the strive for betterment! Our Father died in pursuit of a better shape, I will not have it! He has passed the Worm's blessing unto us, we cannot forsake it. Who will we trust? The voice that wishes us to live and suffer as we have lived and suffered!? Or the plain, honest worm?"
"Let us Dive, O sisters mine."
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