#like if this show had been a straight up romance and not an ensemble family drama nothing else would compare like the best friends miscommun

[heyninja]

Kim and Vegas and Narrative Foils

OK, OK, so first and foremost: yes, Kinn and Vegas are set up to be the primary foils of each other inasmuch as what it looks like to be the scion of a mafia family. Now, if you're really, really lucky, with a good ensemble cast, good writers, and a complex plot--you might get more than one foil at a time. And KinnPorsche is absolutely doing that right, left, and center.

And I think that Kim and Vegas, as they have been shown so far approaching romance, are meant to be narrative foils for each other.

To get it out of the way: this does not mean that I dislike Kim (or honestly Vegas, he's very compelling) it just means that there some narrative meat to sink my teeth into and I am going to be the meta I want to see in the world.

So some good ole compare and contrast action!

Kim and Vegas will both allow or encourage other people's feelings in order to open up opportunities for their interests.

Kim wanted to know more about Porsche, in the interests of mole-hunting and his yet-unexplained murderboard, and Porsche's less prickly younger brother is probably the best bet for intel. Kim had a sense that Chay was a little starstruck, and then after his little trip through Chay's room absolutely knew that there was an in there that he then encouraged: little bits of affection, private lessons, assigning a love song rather than any other genre.

Vegas tries to be the person he thinks Porsche wants, based on various interactions (and probably some mole intel)--he tries to show that his world is closer to Porsche's world rather than the rich castle he's been in with Kinn: Vegas is accessible, sensual, and offering touches of freedoms he thinks Porsche-who-can't-follow-rules would desire.

How Kim and Vegas handle people who have served their usefulness is completely different.

Kim did kinda ghost Chay, but it's shown in small moments that he thinks of Chay fondly. That he even still thinks of Chay at all. And he could keep the lines open, just here and there little moments, if he wanted to, and Chay would probably just be thrilled. There is no tactical benefit to kissing him, to falling asleep with him, that did not exist before he did those things. He did his best to stop Chay's abduction, and he personally made sure Chay was safe. Even though it's clear he was trying to cool the relationship with Chay, Kim's personal feelings are evidently there, and he is letting them influence him a bit.

Vegas...well, Vegas cultivated the entire relationship with Tawan as a revenge against Kinn. He's already admitted that what he wants is to take Kinn's things. And so he took Tawan. Even bringing Tawan back, to try to confuse things, to do whatever plot he had planned before it went to hell--Tawan stopped mattering the minute he said yes to the plan. Vegas put all his attention after that on trying to steal Porsche (and uh...you know, cutting Kinn's legs out from under him in general, but right now it's a bit difficult to know what's Minor Family trying to take power and what's Vegas's personal envy exactly right this second). And when everything just went straight to hell, he turned on Porsche to make him part of the fall--just to take more things away from Kinn.

So why do I keep harping on this.

So we've made it through roughly 3/4 of KinnPorsche and the show has consistently taken BL tropes and storytelling devices and either outright smashed them or taken a step to the left. The writers are good. They are rewarding us every step of the way, and frankly this is one thing I want to see them get credit for as well--that they've layered this narrative so well that there's more than just a single foil for each protagonist and then off on our merry way.

This plot is complex, the characters are complex, this show is full of narrative coils and loops and fun things.

What I want to see is Kim forcefully breaking his narrative foil tie to Vegas. Vegas wants what he can use, and then he prunes back anything that doesn't Serve. He never gives up power willingly.

This narrative is so complex that I don't expect anything nice and neat, but I'd like to see Kim taking it hard that Chay hates the mafia, what the mafia has done to Porsche, and that Kim wasn't entirely truthful about himself. I want to see Kim having to be emotionally vulnerable to Chay, someone who very much expects that you say the words you mean and hates liars, and I want to see Kim have to meet that standard.

Again, I do not think Kim is a bad guy--he loves his family and he has his reasons--but Kim has been in a relative position of power this whole time: so I'd like to see him do what Vegas would never do. I want to see Kim give Chay the power that he so far has been denied having (through ignorance, through circumstance). I'd like to see Kim actually chase Chay, actively work to get back in his good graces, actively work to be the person Chay clearly thought he was (minus the mafia things). And writing him an adorable love song back wouldn't hurt.

Honestly I think setting up this small situation of Kim and Vegas being foils is fantastic.

It gives us all the chance to see more of Kim's personality, and it shows off the skills of the writers to layer these things in. I just wanted to say something because it isn't actually bad that the parallels caused viewers unease--foils often are meant to prick at you until the plot at the heart of it resolves--and it doesn't mean that we think Kim is necessarily a bad person.

But it is good to look at how the narrative is setting up Kim versus Vegas as two people who make use of the power they cultivate in their (shown) relationships, and how the narrative is resolving that duality. And maybe this will help someone out there who felt some unease about Kim and didn't know why, but still liked the character--hopefully this helps?

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche ep 10 #vegas #kim theerapanyakul #again: i don't dislike kim #it's just the narrative has been doing a thing #and a lot of people were picking up the vibe #but i don't know that everyone could articulate what that vibe was #so i hope this helps? #narrative foils are fun #and honestly this show is just throwing them out left right and center #the writers are too good to us and my standards are forever altered

[magicaldreamfox1]

My GMMTV 2023 Commentary & Rating

disclaimer: this is purely based on my opinions and subjective tastes so if u disagree with me that's good for u pls don't be rude to me abt it thank u <3

also! my rating is based on vibes, whether or not i will actually watch a show largely depends on the final trailer!

let's get into it!

Enigma

plot keywords: horror fantasy, mains: prim/win

do u know how mad i am abt this. i'm a win anti first and a human second. but i am also a fucked up schools stan first and a human second AND prim is in this . so i'll literally have to watch it i'm so mad 😭😭😭 it looks SO GOOD 😭😭😭😭

my rating: 8/10

A Boss And A Babe

plot keywords: bl, boss/intern romance, mains: force/book

this looks lame i'm sorry 😔😔😔 i don't like the whole boss/intern thing and i also can't take force seriously as a "serious" boss he just sounds tired </3

my rating: 3/10

Find Yourself

plot keywords: straight romance, boss/intern romance, age gap relationship

even worse than A Boss And A Babe. straight, boss/intern AND age gap??? this is dreamy repellent

my rating: 1/10

Double Savage

plot keywords: rivalry, fighting, family drama

this one is a difficult one. it's basically just 10 Years Ticket the remix and like why. we didn't need this. foei's evil smile in the trailer tho? yeah that's iconic that's history. for this it'll depend on timing & the final trailer i think

my rating: 5/10

Hidden Agenda

plot keywords: bl, dating help, secret crush, uni bl, mains: dunk/joong

it's a uni bl. what more do i have to say. it just seems a bit boring to me ngl, it feels like a mashup of Star In My Mind and FUTS and i've just had enough. also can they give joong a role that shows emotions. please???

my rating: 3/10

23.5

plot keywords: gl, secret admirer, uni gl, mains: milk/love

fucking finally a gl!!! the trailer looked fine, a bit boring ngl but we take what we can get truly gls are allowed to be a little boring for now. now if gmm won't let them kiss in this show i will personally fly to thailand to set gmm hqs on fire. so just putting that out there watch ur fucking back gmm. u're on THIN ICE

my rating: 7/10

Because You're My First Love

plot keywords: straight romance, first love, love triangle, mains: prim/dew(/neo)

do u know how long it took me to find out the english title for this. anyways looks boring as hell! not even prim and neo can save this. and i don't like dew so... next!

my rating: 1/10

Cooking Crush

plot keywords: bl, cooking, uni bl, mains: off/gun

it's an offgun bl what else is there to say truly. now controversially i don't like it and i think it looks boring. this cutesy fluffy plotless type of plot is just not really my thing anymore i think? ik they'll do well tho so love and light

my rating: 4/10

Wednesday Club

plot keywords: ensemble cast, friendgroup, drama

now this???? yeah i was actively tuning in. i love drama i love fucked up situations i love people making bad choices and i love people doing worse than me. i wish joong wasn't in this and also what's up with that fakeass laughing in the trailer???? and also i don't understand why they used that music in the trailer? the trailer in general could've been a little better but i'm putting my faith in the final trailer it's gonna be good i'm manifesting it

my rating: 7/10

Last Twilight

plot keywords: bl, visually impaired person/caretaker, mains: jimmy/sea

LISTEN i love jimmy but this is a no. first of all i don't like the jimmysea pairing (not for any rational reasons but oh well) and i also don't like these kinds of slice of life existential plots that they get here and also had in vice versa. so i will be skipping this sorry jimmy </3

my rating: 3/10

Loneliness Society

plot keywords: straight romance, lying about a relationship

looks boring. i don't really have anything else to say abt this one.

my rating: 1/10

Only Friends

plot keywords: ensemble cast, friendgroup, sort of bl, drama

now THIS??? all the fucking awards there are. best show that was announced this year everybody else go home. it's gay, it's messy, khao and neo are serving severe cunt what else could u possibly want. now idk why they had to throw in forcebook and mark. but not even they can drag this down for me it looks SO GOOD. ask me abt my ideal only friends casting

my rating: 10/10

Faceless Love

plot keywords: straight romance, face blindness, rich/poor, love triangle, mains: dew/kao(/peach)

this is not how face blindness works. this whole show is so embarrassing it's funny. i can't take it seriously. also did she literally cure his face blindness at the end of the trailer. no words

my rating: 1/10

Dangerous Romance

plot keywords: bl, high school, enemies to lovers, rich/poor, tutoring, mains: chimon/perth

when i said i want chimon in a bl this is not what i meant. idk it just didn't hit.

my rating: 5/10

The Jungle

plot keywords: ensemble cast, fuckboys, drama

NOW THIS???? U HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING MAD I AM ABT THIS. first of all. the trailer for this show FUCKS so hard. and yet i know this is gonna be a terrible show. AND fucking krist is in it. WHY. i'm so mad i'm so fucking mad

my rating: 2/10

Midnight Museum

plot keywords: fantasy, magic, mains: gun/tor

there really is not a lot to say abt this plot wise but my god does it fuck hard. the cast is excellent (they already had me at namtan), the visuals are amazing, the concept looks so good. i'm so excited for this

my rating: 10/10

Our Skyy 2

plot keywords: ensemble cast, previous bl couples, special episodes

there's not much to say abt this. it's our skyy 2 it's self explanatory. as for the couples themselves: i will begrudgingly tune in for patpran, depending on the ending on the eclipse i'll decide whether or not to watch akkayan, puentalay no, nuea/kluen probably not, never let me go pondphuwin idk yet depends on whether or not i'll watch the show and how it ends, phuphatian maybe, my school president guys probably not and a boss and a babe forcebook no

my rating: 6/10

Beauty Newbie

plot keywords: straight romance, my id is gangnam beauty remake, mains: baifern/win

so we've reached the final flops. yeah nobody moved. when will win be locked away in gmm's basement. we've seen enough of him.

my rating: 1/10

The Interest

plot keywords: straight romance, debt collector/indebted, violence, main: bright

nobody moved. why are they making this. what is the plot. bright needs to stop being handed main roles i'm so serious.

my rating: 1/10

Final Reflections

overall it's a very mediocre year ngl i was a little disappointed. there were very few shows out of the 18 that i was enthusiastic to watch but otherwise it's all very meh. i hope the final trailers will be better tho i'll stay tuned for them!

#that's it! #tbh it's time win and krist get locked away in the gmm basement. STOP GIVING THEM ROLES #i don't have the energy to tag every show #gmmtv 2023 #dreamy talks

[consumeronionbulletin]

Hospital Playlist (2020, 2021)

This show was great! Some of the medical stuff was a little too real (for my taste), but the characters were the best! It's great TV, where you just get to follow around these interesting people with cool jobs for a year or two of their life. What's not to enjoy?

What Worked

The scenes with the band. All the friendships. Most of the romance stuff. The thoughtful approach to medical issues. The fact that they avoided most of the typical medical drama tropes. The cute little kids (especially the actor that played Lee Ik-jun's son). All the scenes with the five just hanging out!

What Didn't Work

The pacing was a little slow sometimes, which I didn't have a problem with, but I know bothered some people. Some of the medical stuff, but again that's more of a preference.

The Performances

This is a show with a huge ensemble cast and lots of guest stars. And the writers are good, so they make sure and give each of them a few moments, at least, to shine. There's no way to cover everything without writing a huge novel. So I'll stick to my favorites.

Jo Jung-suk as Lee Ik-jun. This guy was just so much fun to watch. All of the funniest moments on the show were centered around him. All of the cringiest dad jokes also featured him. I never got tired of watching him.

Jeon Mi-do as Chae Song-hwa. I loved this character, and this actress. The biggest "in-joke" this show ever did was hire an experienced musical theatre actor and make her pretend she couldn't sing for two seasons. And it was still charming to watch! She was the heart of the show, and we need more smart, goofy, nerdy characters like this on TV.

Yoo Yeon-seok as Ahn Jeong-win (Andrea). It took awhile for me to warm up to this character, because he felt too good to be believed. But once we got to know him, and saw more about his point of view, he became one of my favorites.

Junk Kyung-ho as Kim Jun-wan. It took longer for me to warm up to this character, but that was mostly the writing. By the end of the first season, I really enjoyed watching him be the grumpy straight-man for all the antics going on. I also really liked his relationship with Lee Ik-sun, even though the arc felt a little manufactured.

Kim Dae-myung as Yang Seok-hyeong. The show did really good on the medical stuff with this character, but less good with the everyday life stuff. He had to deal with some of the most sensitive and heartbreaking situations and the actor and the writers handled them all very well. Worth watching because of this.

Kwak Sun-young as Lee Ik-sun. I saw her in Encounter and she was really enjoyable, especially when they let her break out some of her comedy skills, but she wasn't particularly memorable. She was great in this role. Lots of good chemistry with both her romantic arc and with her family stories. Just charming and funny and the show did a good job of letting her shine. The romantic arc had a little fake drama added, but the actors still made it work.

Shin Hyun-been as Jang Gyeo-ul. The show took its time with this character, and didn't really bring her to the front until season two. But I liked her interactions with the other characters, and her romantic arc was really good too. She handled the family drama stuff in it particularly well.

Ahn Eun-jin as Chu Min-ha. I feel like the character is kind of a mirror for her romantic interest in the show (Seok-hyeong). She got a ton of character stuff and was forced to stand to the side in alot of the medical stuff. Ahn Eun-jin basically carried the romance arc for season two (which is partly on the writers), but she made it fun to watch.

Ha Yoon-kyung as Heo Sun-bin. This was one of the actor's earlier roles, but she did a good job with what they writers gave her. You can see why they started giving her bigger roles later on (especially Extraordinary Attorney Woo), though she was definitely a minor character here.

Everyone else: Again, there are so many people and the guest stars / "patients" show up occasionally later on, which is nice when you can remember who they are. The two med-student twins were fun to watch. The old people antics were enjoyable, and the actors for them did a good job with the drama when it was called for. There were lots of adorable child actors that rarely got annoying. Just alot of good talent showing up when needed.

TL; DR:

I'm not usually a fan of medical dramas. The last one that really hooked me was maybe ER and that was such a long time ago it may as well be the stone age. But I loved this one. The actors were great, the show was serious when it needed to be, but was not afraid to joke around and that created a really good balance.

#my kdrama notes #hospital playlist

[coal15]

Why Buddie *isn’t* Destiel:

Let’s start with the stuff working against Buddie. Then move on to the things I believe give Buddie a much better shot at becoming canon than Destiel ever did. It’s a tad bit long:

So. Yes. The two ships do have a a lot in common. And yes, Buddie is a longshot for a lot of the same reasons Destiel was. 

Bi men aren’t really a thing on tv (especially not NETWORK tv), Dean and Buck were both introduced as huuuuuuuuuge fans of banging women with never a single unambiguous mention of them ever having dated or even being attracted to men. Only little wink/nudge moments played off as humor (”so does this boy-crush on Eddie mean . . .”) , or the characters giving each other “heart eyes,” a thing which can easily seen as a silent expression of deep fondness/admiration/trust/platonic love, whatever. None of the characters “seem bisexual” ie, they don’t conform to your typical network tv depictions or stereotypes of non-straight men. 

They all have “masculine” jobs (as opposed to something either soft and mellow, or flamboyant and performative). The real “guy guy” type characters are generally meant to be seen as 1000% straight. This applies less to Cas than the other 3 men as he’s technically not human, but he does present as male, and even though he did end the series with a big ‘I love you’ moment to Dean, the line didn’t address how he loved Dean. And since Cas didn’t say ‘I’m in love with you,’ nor did Dean say it back, as far as series canon goes Destiel was never explicitly Romantic Love. You could interpret it that way extremely easily, but it was never overt series canon. 

They’re both hugely popular non-canon fandom ships (and in buddie’s case, growing in fandom popularity every day).

The creators and cast have made comments acknowledging said popularity  with vague comments like “it’s a really special dynamic,” “we’re glad the audience can interpret blahblahblah,” “the fanart is soooooo great,” or “we love the enthusiasm.” That kind of wishy washy shit. Sure, some of the actors will make overtly pro-ship comments, but they always (and for good reason) clarify that the writers/producers haven’t told them anything either way.

OKAY. SO. On to what makes Buddie different from Destiel. (and why I’m optimistic)

Number one is timing. As in: how many years have we had with a character being played a certain way? By the time Cas appeared in SPN, they were 4 seasons in, and Dean had been portrayed as the typical “boobies, boobies, all the boobies; I will immediately hit on any and all hot women,” etc. Yes, Buck began 911 as basically that exact same guy--but ‘that guy’ only lasted a single season. Eddie shows up at the top of S2, so we haven’t already had multiple previous seasons of “Ladie’s Man” Buck. And that makes it easier to bend and adapt his character--or to reveal major character traits not previously mentioned.

Two: Cas was introduced in a way that didn’t evoke anything romantic or sexual at all. He was there on a mission from GOD. Utterly asexual insofar as his interactions with Dean (despite the insane sexual chemistry going on, in the show’s ‘maintext’ nothing about Cas’s character had anything to do with sex or romance) Meanwhile, when Eddie showed up on 911 literally the first thing said about him was Chim’s line “Now that is a beautiful man,” a comment followed by “Whatta Man” playing while Eddie put on his shirt. In slow motion. While Buck kinda . . . stared? So in stark contrast to Cas’s first moments on SPN, Eddie’s 911 intro was. . . . well, let’s see . . . the soundtrack is a blatantly sexual song . . . slo-mo shirtlessness . . . Chim’s “beautiful man” comment . . . all of those things present Eddie in an overtly sexual context right away.

Three: With Destiel, despite their intense screen chemistry, Cas and Dean took the better part of a season to really really bond. Whereas Buddie were joined-at-the-hip besties by the end of Eddie’s 1st episode--when less than 30 episodes of the series had aired. Yes, the sexual chemistry between Cas and Dean may have been palpable from minute one, but the emotional bond between Buck and Eddie happened almost right away. Much faster than with Destiel. And they became involved in one another’s personal lives a lot faster, too. 

Four: On 911 neither Buck nor Eddie ever vanish for many episodes at a time, whereas Cas’s character on SPN dipped in and out. He might be there for several episodes in a row . . . or he might only show up a few times in whole season. So by default Buck and Eddie have more screentime together to continue fleshing out that bond. Establishing the Buckley-Diaz family. 

Five: On SPN, introducing long term love interests for either brother would have busted up the central dynamic driving the show. Much as I used to love Destiel, for five entire seasons Sam and Dean were the central, laser-focused relationship in the show. Sure it may have been a co-dependent and often unhealthy bond, but it was the foundation on which the entire series was built. That’s a really tough dynamic to wedge a love interest into without upsetting the whole balance of the show. Cut to 911: no single character or relationship is the “laser focus” of the whole series. Every character in the ensemble has their own storyline. And thus far, no two characters are toxically codependent on one another. They’re all fleshed out as independent entities. 

Six: (related to point five) If either of the actors playing Buck or Eddie landed a huge movie roll, or asked to be written out for personal reasons, or fucked up so bad they had to be fired? It wouldn’t torch the entire show. Bobby, Athena, Hen, Maddie (even Buck or Eddie if only one of them was written out) . . . the show would go on without Buddie. Or without any one character. Whereas if either Jensen or Jared had decided to quit SPN at any point? Well shit, there goes the show! Finished. Donezo. 

In conclusion: with 911 not being totally dependent on any one character dynamic for the show’s survival, it puts them in a far better position to gamble, ratings-wise, on something that might not be a hit with the general audience. (I know it sucks, but 'popular on social media’ doesn’t automatically translate to ‘popular with casual viewers’). If 911 did take that leap with Buck and Eddie and it flopped? The Buckley-Diaz family moves to an island paradise somewhere and the show moves on with their strong (and also popular) remaining ensemble cast. For the average casual viewer, nothing in 911 would blow up beyond repair without Buddie. 

So I feel like our ship has a much better shot of becoming canon. There is good reason to be optimistic. Especially if the ship’s fanbase continues to grow, and grow, and grow, and we remain visible and vocal. 

#buddie #buck x eddie #911 on fox #queerbaiting #bi visibility #my tv says bi men don't exist #and tv knows everything

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Walk Me Home - Ch 4

Summary: Twenty-four years ago, Kimberly Harper met a boy who changed the course of her entire life before up and leaving one night. She spent years moving past the memories, building a stable, satisfying career as professor of folklore and mythology at the local university. Then the accidents start, and she’s forced to seek help among her hunter contacts. All it takes is a knock on her office door to send Kimber’s carefully built emotional walls crumbling to the ground.

Featuring: Teen Winchesters, high school romance, reunions, misunderstandings, high intensity emotional turmoil, Dean’s love of pie, Dean being adorable, Sam being adorable and maybe a bit nosy eventually, much group adorkable-ness, show-style investigation, mention of our favorite werewolf, gratuitous and obvious love of fall, DID I MENTION ROMANCE, fluff, smut, tension. 

Warnings: Show level violence, show level parental neglect (let’s not John bash, I’m just saying), show-style witchcraft, show-level mental manipulation, stalking, bit of angst, sexual content (higher than show level),swearing, general yearning

Word Count: 2702

Author’s Note: At last!!! I almost didn’t make it, but here I am, literally in the eleventh hour (well, okay, three minutes to go until the eleventh hour, but still)! All the thanks to @mskathywrites , @fang, and @cracksinthewalls for editing, revision, flailing, and all that stuff I need. I still love this story, and I hope y’all will, too! 

Keep in Mind: There are a lot of flashbacks. I tried to write current events in present tense and flashbacks in past tense. Here’s hoping I got everything right!

Please read/heed the warnings. 18+ ONLY. 

In Case You Missed It: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Chapter 4

Kimber knows she’s staring, but she can’t stop herself. His fingers, rough and strong from years of the hardest work, brush circles over her wrists that send her pulse fluttering through her veins. So many emotions flicker behind his eyes, some of them mirroring her own, some of them alien and unreadable. So many years have passed, so much water under the bridge, as the saying goes. 

The thing is, he was completely right earlier. She could have called him, once she learned who he and his family were, once she found a way.

But he had left town with her phone number memorized. He was in a much more logical position to get in touch, and right away, at that. And he never did. She knows he had a good reason, a completely reasonable one that would make sense if she just asked him.

But she’s scared and drained and confused and more than a little ashamed, and she’s tired of making a fool of herself.

She drops her eyes before the tears fully form and murmurs a quiet thanks as she loosens her hands from his grip. Though walking away is not what she wants to do, she forces her legs straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind her with a firm click. 

She’ll feel better after a hot shower. That’s all she needs, a hot shower and a few hours of sleep. They’ll figure this out tomorrow, and then Dean and his brother will ride off into the sunset, and everything will go back to normal. She’ll go back to her classes as usual, helping out the occasional hunter or scholar with some lore, and she’ll bury all these feelings behind her heart again, drown them so deep they’ll never dream of resurfacing.

At least, that’s the fairy tale she tells herself as the scalding stream washes the saltwater from her cheeks. 

She actually does feel moderately restored by the time she steps out of the bathroom. She feels a little ridiculous in Dean’s clothing. The sleeves of the t-shirt hang past her elbows, and the pants legs are rolled up several times to keep her from tripping. 

At least the waist has a drawstring, she thinks as she rounds the corner back into the room. She pulls the towel from her hair, shaking it out a little just as Dean looks up from his laptop at the small table. His mouth opens, eyes widening. She’s not sure because of the poor lighting of the room, but his face seems to color a little as his eyebrows lift.

She is suddenly, acutely aware that she did not put her bra back on when getting dressed in his white t-shirt that is probably not nearly as thin as it feels.

Dean clears his throat, turning back to his computer, swallowing whatever comments have entered his mind. Kimber can’t decide whether to laugh or blush even harder and settles for the third option of hanging her office clothes up so they can air out a little before tomorrow. 

With nothing else to do, she drops onto the edge of the bed gracelessly, feeling every minute of the last few weeks catching up with her. Uncertainty and fear claw at her, ripping away what little defenses she has left. The image of the mutilated doll flashes before her eyes, red paint splashed luridly on her favorite comforter. Her lungs clench, and she sags on the mattress. 

She presses her fingers hard against her face. Acid burns at the back of her throat, bitter and biting. Her fingernails are just beginning to dig into her scalp when she registers the click of the laptop closing. Half a moment passes, then the bed dips beside her. 

She doesn’t consciously decide to move; her body simply molds itself to his side as Dean slides his arm around her back. He turns into the embrace, his other arm gathering her tightly against him. His cheek comes to rest on top of her head. The silence between them is the comfort she needs, his warmth and solidity the anchor that keeps her from drifting too far into panic.

When he finally speaks, his words rumble through her nerves, settling heavy and soothing in her chest.

“We’re gonna get this son of a bitch, Kimber. I’m sorry they got into your house, but I’m glad I was with you. I…” She rises gently with his deep inhalation, pressed as she is against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

She hears what he isn’t saying, and her hands drop from her face, her arms slipping around his middle as her eyes close.

“Me, too, Dean.”

...

“That pumpkin pie was somethin’ else,” Dean murmured. His arms were folded behind his head as he stretched out on top of Kimber’s bedspread. He crossed his ankles, settling in like he belonged there. His thin t-shirt stretched across his wiry frame, jeans lying enticingly low on his hips, and she could just see a glimpse of pink toe through a hole in one of his socks.

A pleasant, off-balancing thrill skipped down Kimber’s spine, twirling through her stomach and making her head spin a little. Dean’s jacket was hung carefully on her desk chair, his boots lined up on the floor underneath, and his button-up overshirt folded neatly on the desk.

Her parents had gone to bed long ago, and she had snuck Dean in the back door. After their exhilarating but chilled stroll that afternoon, she’d decided against the treehouse. Dean had been amused but willing, although he’d had one stipulation that had nearly made her laugh aloud.

“We get caught and your folks kick me out, you’re bringing me your mom’s leftovers to school every day for breakfast. I’m not missin’ out on home cooking just because you can’t stand to be away from me.”

Now, seeing him so comfortable on her bed, like he just belonged...Kimber knew the smile on her face was on the goofier end of sappy, but she couldn’t help it. He was just so damned…

“Cute,” he said, smirking up at her. “I know what you’re thinking. And I’m not cute. I’m adorable.”

She sighed dramatically, feigning exasperation. “Fine, you’re gorgeous, adorable, vital, the absolute most. Now close your eyes so I can change.” Smirk still firmly in place, Dean dutifully closed his eyes. She knew, despite the short time she’d known him, that she could trust Dean to keep his eyes shut.

She spent a few seconds regretting the lack of any silky, dramatic nightgowns or cute, sexy little matching pajama sets. Oh, well; couldn’t have everything. She stripped quickly, tossing her school clothes into the hamper and slipping on her “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters” t-shirt. Thick socks and plaid pajama pants completed her night ensemble. 

That she had just been naked (however unseen said nakedness had been) in front of Dean Winchester had not escaped her. She licked her lips, cheeks warm, and turned slowly back to the bed. He lay still, chest rising and falling steadily, and she marveled, not for the first time, that he was here, in her room. Just for her.

Her pulse jumped, her lungs tightened, and for just a second, Kimber panicked.

“You can, uh...you can open your eyes. I’m gonna go brush my teeth; I’ll be right back.”

She fled silently down the hallway, brushed her teeth in record time, and then stared in the mirror. Her hair was just her hair, nothing amazing or horrifying; no point trying to fix that before bed. Maybe…make-up?

“Kimber. What the hell?” she muttered. “You’re not seducing him, just be cool. Jeez. You can’t wear make-up to bed.”

She splashed cold water on her face, scrubbing her skin dry with a hand towel more forcefully than necessary. She gave her reflection another once-over and took a deep breath.

“You’re his choice, too,” she reminded herself. “Just chill.”

She found him exactly as she’d left him, completely relaxed on the bed, eyes still closed. She thought for a moment that he might have fallen asleep. Kimber wasn’t sure if she felt more disappointment or relief.

“You left in a little bit of a hurry,” he murmured, eyes still closed, and she started. “Everything okay?” She almost put him off, could feel the brush-off on her lips, but his eyes slid open, pinning her on the spot. She got the eerie sense that he would know, that he already knew she was trying to put on a front, and she deflated a little.

“I’m nervous,” she finally admitted. The heat in her cheeks turned up a few degrees, spreading down her neck, and she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “I’ve never...snuck a guy to my room before. I just...this is mostly new to me, but with you, I want...I don’t know.”

Without a word, Dean slid from the bed and crossed the room, his mesmerizing eyes never leaving hers. He stopped a few feet away and waited, his arms open. With the bed suddenly out of the equation, Kimber felt a hidden knot of anxiety untie in her chest. 

She let out a breath and stepped into his embrace, her arms circling his waist in a way that felt easy and right. Dean’s lips pressed a warming kiss to the crown of her head. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “This is your room, your space, but even if it wasn’t-” He paused, leaning back and brushing his thumb over her cheek. “Kimber, look at me.”

She did, and his earnest expression left no room to doubt his next words. It barely left room for breathing.

“ ‘M not here to make you feel uncomfortable or scared. I’m here because you want me to be. The second that stops, the second I make you feel something you don’t want, that’s it. Period. Does that work for you?”

His eyes, so plaintive and weathered in that moment, cut right to her heart. Never in her life had Kimber felt so safe, so protected, and so very sad. She couldn’t think of any words that lived up to the magnitude of what Dean had just said, so she simply squeezed him tighter, pressing her face against the side of his neck. 

“Can you stay?” she asked. She knew he had obligations, probably needed to get back to his brother or at least check in with his dad. She felt terribly selfish in her warm, safe house with her parents right down the hall. Still, she asked. 

“Yeah, I can stay for a while.” His smile, soft and open, laid her doubts to rest. They settled onto the bed, fumbling a little awkwardly to find a position they both liked. There was some bumping, mumbled apologies, until they finally sorted out a comfortable twist of limbs that didn’t set her heart beating out of her ribs or threaten to cut off blood flow to anything important. 

She relaxed by increments, her cheek resting on his collarbone. He hugged her close with his left arm, his right hand combing slowly through her hair over and over. The silence settled around them like a second blanket, soothing and heavy.

“What do you want to do when you finish school, Kimber? College?”

“Probably,” she murmured. “I don’t know specifically, but I like research.”

He snorted, and she poked him in the side.

“Shut up, you jerk, I do. And I like sharing the information. I like helping people. I don’t really want to be a teacher, but maybe I can find something where I can do all of that.”

Dean resumed combing her hair, having paused when she poked him, and they settled a little more closely together.

“Dean?”

“Mmm?”

She blinked slowly, sleep pulling at her eyelids. Her thoughts spun out languidly, losing their urgency as his warmth seeped through the thin fabric of her pajamas. 

“How about you?”

His answer came quickly, rehearsed and without thought. “Join the family business. Dad’s been training me for years. Don’t have a lotta choice, but I know I’ll be good at it. Was raised for it.”

Her fingers crept up, her eyes staying closed for longer and longer periods between blinks. She slid her thumb over his chin, just brushing the line of his bottom lip before sliding slowly up his jaw. 

His words weren’t emotionless, but they were automatic. There was so much he never said, and she hated to push him, afraid he would just leave or shut down, but…

“But what do you want?” She persisted, drowsiness interfering with her usual restraint. “Who do you want to be?”

He was silent for so long, she nearly gave in to fatigue. She drifted on the edge of unconsciousness, fingers stroking through the silky strands of hair behind his ears. She felt his face turn, his lips press against her wrist.

“I want...this,” he said. Even half-asleep, she couldn’t mistake the raw longing behind his words. “I want...I want to work a boring, regular job and come home to someone who missed me all day as much as I missed her. I want my kids to cannonball into my legs so hard they knock me over. I want…”

His words choked off, and she stilled her fingers against his cheek, waiting for him to continue.

“I want a house. No...I...when I was little, Dad would come home, and he would just...sweep Mom up sometimes, swing her around, when they weren’t fighting. Even when they were, he’d do it sometimes anyway just to get her to laugh.”

She felt his face shift beneath her hand, but his smile didn’t feel quite right, and she moved closer. His arm tightened around her back, and he smoothed the palm of his free hand down to cup her jaw.

“I want a home. I want to be a dad, a husband. I want a family.”

She felt childish, shallow next to the depth of his simple declaration. Dean wanted what she had, what she took for granted every day of her life. This was the first time he’d spoken of his mother, and though curiosity burned hot inside her, she didn’t dare ask further questions, afraid she’d break the spell of the moment.

Dean’s voice dropped until she could feel it more than hear it, his lips pressing softly against her forehead.

“I want to come home and hold someone until I fall asleep every night. I want to wake up to her and know that my whole day, every day, is gonna be just that, all over again.”

She lifted her face to his then, and in the darkness of her bedroom she could only just make out the barest lines of his features. Their noses brushed, his hand gently pulling at the back of her head, and their lips met. His cheek was damp under her fingertips, and her heart clenched. 

She pulled his head down, brushing her lips over the tears trickling down his cheekbones more by feel than by sight. Both his arms came around her then, pulling her against his chest as he buried his face in his hair. They breathed together, memorizing each others’ scents, heartbeats, rhythms as the night crept by. 

The moment didn’t pass so much as gradually relax until Kimber felt him shift beneath her, smoothly sliding her off his chest and down to the pillows. He kissed her temple, and her face automatically turned to his, chasing his lips. She felt him chuckle against her mouth.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I gotta go. Need to check on Sammy, make sure he got dinner, did his homework, all that mess. I’ll see you tomorrow. Walk you to school?”

She nodded, humming her agreement even as she blindly reached for him. Something soft brushed against her fingers, and she automatically pulled it down, cuddling against the fabric. 

“Hold onto that for me. I’ll get it back from you sometime.” She felt a kiss press to her forehead, and then the click of her door closing. She breathed in, Dean’s scent surrounding her as she slipped under again, his button-up shirt pillowed under her cheek and tangled in her fingers. 

…

Chapter 5

#SPN #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #dean winchester #original female character #original character #Sam Winchester #teen dean #teen sam #teen winchesters #romance #high school romance #high school sweethearts #drama #angst #witchcraft #still no wizardry #no sexy times either #but sexy times #oh they're comin #heh #see what I did there

[unforth]

So I have no idea what The Untamed is, but I keep seeing it show up on my dash. So I kinda want to check it out. Can you tell me if there's actual queer representation in it? Or is it more of a destiel kind of situation right now? (Love your fanfic btw)

ALRIGHT ANON I hope you’re ready to listen to me go the fuck off cause I’m so gonna because I fucking love this show!

Right off the bat, to answer the “is it more of a destiel kind of situation” the answer is absolutely fucking not, nor will it ever be, because The Untamed is 50 episodes long and complete, so where it is now is where it will always be. And where it is now...okay, so The Untamed is based on a novel called Modao Zushi (variously translated but the most commonly accepted is “Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation”). MDZS exists in five different versions - the original novel (complete), an animation (in progress), a comic (in progress), a radio drama (...actually I have no idea if it’s done...) and The Untamed (the live action TV show). 

What it is...it’s originally a Chinese BL danmei (a novel, in this case published serially on a subscription website) by an author who writes under the pseudonym Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. It’s xianxia, which is a genre of Chinese fantasy inspired by Chinese mythology, religion, martial arts, and all kinds of other stuff...as a Westerner coming in with no experience, it’s been a LOT to learn the genre tropes and I’m still getting the hang of it, but you don’t need to know anything to appreciate the show - I didn’t, and nor did many of my friends, and we’ve all loved it. It has a wonderful ensemble cast (...okay, well, full disclosure, it has a wonderful male ensemble cast, the women in the novel leave something to be desired, they’re much better fleshed out in The Untamed but I could still wish for more in that regard...) with tons of side shipping potential...like, my favorite character isn’t even one of the two in the main ship, and I’d honestly be hard pressed to even name a top five because I love them all so much, and there’s a side ship I love almost as much as the main ship, and is also so close to canon as makes no difference, at least imo. The plot is pretty well fleshed out (or at least the points that are nonsensical are surprisingly easy to ignore...if you’ve seen Jupiter Ascending it had some of the same feel in that regard, like “parts of this writing are a trash fire but I’m enjoying the overall effect so much that I don’t even care any more”). The sets and the costumes are absolutely fucking gorgeous and if the CGI for some of the monsters made me want to weep it was so bad...well, I was a fan of Hercules the Legendary Journeys in the 90s so I’m prepared to forgive a lot to watch hot guys kick some ass, and speaking of the hot guys...

The main ship is composed of this guy, Wei Wuxian...

He is a quintessential disaster bi and I love him and would die for him. The novel is told primarily from his PoV and even The Untamed tends to focus more on his angle than others.

His other half is this guy, Lan Wangji...

(okay the glasses are NOT canon but how am I supposed to resist that line??). He is rule-following, law-abiding, and I totally didn’t get him at first and now I adore him.

This is full enemies to lovers in the best possible way.

From a Destiel PoV, I basically write Wei Wuxian the same way I write Dean, and I basically write Lan Wangji the same way I write Castiel, and people tell me pretty often that they love my characterizations so...the personality parallels, they are strong.

Their ship is most commonly called WangXian. Are they canon? In the novel, yes. They are canon. They are literally married. They have actual explicit sex that you can read in all its glorious detail (actually I shouldn’t talk it up that much I didn’t personally enjoy the canon sex all that much but that’s a totally different topic). They are the most canon of canon, no holds barred, mano-a-mano, god I wish they’d use lube, I can tell you who canonically tops and bottoms and what their main kinks are, and they are so in love and there are ridiculous declarations at the worst possible moments and there’s a wedding...it’s canon. 

Now, China has some pretty crazy censorship laws that include making it an arrestable, punishable offense to make the queer explicit in the TV show. Thus, there is no explicit moment where, in The Untamed, they say, “yes we are a couple and we are in love.” However, the following things are canon:

-they are soulmates (link to gif set by @ohsesuns - the source for these two gifs, I hope you can forgive me just embedding them but someone asked me for a guide and I think just linking might not get the point across/require too much expectation of people clicking through...)

-they have their own theme song...which is called the portmanteau of their ship name (link to gif set by @wangxiians, with two used for demonstration purposes...again, my apologies for embedding them like this, I’ll pull them if you’d prefer) And mind you, in this scene, Lan Wangji just sang their song out loud while a montage played of important moments in their relationship with each other it is the gayest most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

-THIS IS LITERALLY HOW THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER

-neither has a female love interest or any other romantic subplot or any kind of “fake out” and this is the way Lan Wangji looks every time Wei Wuxian is like, “you’re never gonna get a girlfriend with that attitude” (labeled as by someone named mabomanji on a website called tenor that I’ve never used before...)

-DID I MENTION THIS IS HOW THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER

-oh and they have a son...sort of...close enough...okay it’s way more complicated than that but whatevs I don’t want to spoil all the fun...

-OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THE HANDFASTING? Lan Wangji constantly lets Wei Wuxian touch the “sacred headband that only family members and loved ones can touch” and at one point to protect Wei Wuxian he wraps it around each of their wrists (source for this screen cap is a set on twitter by krayziewes)

I’m sure at least three people will look at this and be like HOW DID YOU LEAVE OUT THIS OTHER THING and all three things they name will be DIFFERENT because the show is just that fucking gay.

So you ask me, is it like Destiel?

With Supernatural, with Destiel, the show writers, producers, everyone, strings us along, giving us just enough to think we’ve got a chance. The only risk they face in making it canon would be a drop in rating and alienation of some of the fanbase and yet they refuse to do it. I do not believe and have never believed that Destiel will be canon, and my reaction is constant disappointment, because seriously, what would it cost them to show it? Absolutely fucking nothing, especially now that it’s ending now, but they won’t. (okay, that’s just my opinion, I guess the last few episodes will show...but I at least have zero hope.)

With The Untamed...with Wangxian...literally everyone involved in The Untamed risked being disappeared by the Chinese government and actual imprisonment to make the show as gay as humanly possible without quiiiiiiiiiiite crossing the line into explicit queerness. Behind the scenes footage makes it clear that the entire cast and production crew have read the novel. The crew jokingly refers to Wei Wuxian as Lan Wangji’s wife (yeah, sorry, there’s some splashes of misogyny especially in the novel) and the looks on any of the actors’ faces when they’re interviewed and asked about (female) love interests are honestly fucking priceless...but no one can say it out loud, no one can make it explicit in the purest sense, because they risk their livelihoods, their families, their futures, their lives, if they say in reply to that interviewer, “um are you a fucking moron didn’t you realize there WAS a romance in the show and it was between two men?” But everyone with a half a brain knows. It’s not subtle. It’s not a secret. My straight cis male friend who is watching keeps screaming at me about how gay it is and he’s only on like episode 10.

Would I kill for a canon kiss or an actual traditional love declaration?

Yes, of course, I’d love that. 

But do I think WangXian isn’t canon in The Untamed just because it isn’t shown in those most simplistic terms?

Oh my god it is so canon WangXian are husbands and they are in love and they live for each other and it’s amazing and I adore theeeeeeeeeeeem. 

Wangxian. Are. Canon.

#unforth rambles #the untamed #wangxian #i don't even know how to tag this #i hope you're prepared for my love letter to canon anon #because I seriously could not love these two more #Anonymous

[boondogglerbean]

Why Your Fave Is Problematic: Dead Poets Society (1989)

Dead Poets Society is one of my favourite movies. There are so many things about this film that I love and that make it so special to me. Nonetheless, I have my issues with it. For one it’s full of white rich milk bois who attend a private school. The story is set in the 50s, so I guess we can cut them some slack in this department, although we should acknowledge that the ensemble is not exactly diverse and doesn’t do anything for the visibility of poc. Another aspect that I certainly didn’t appreciate was the romantic storyline of Knox Overstreet and Chris Noel.

When I first read the book and Knox started crushing on Chris I thought it was cute. It’s silly since Knox had met her once when he told the boys about Chris but he’s a stupid romantic teen who said two words to a girl he found attractive and now daydreams having a family with. It’s still endearing when he’s standing nervously next to the phone, trying to build up the courage to call her because he can’t get her out of his head. He decides fuck it, carpe diem and he’s so excited when he finds out that she wanted to call him too and even though you can guess how the party’s gonna play out and picture a disappointed Knox standing in the kitchen corner, you can’t help but see something of yourself in this hopeless romantic, feel his hope and euphoria. And then the party happens. And Knox does everything he could possibly do wrong. Kissing or touching Chris (depending on film or book) without her consent is sexual harrassment. It’s absolutely inappropriate behaviour. And while I don’t approve of Chet getting violent (who is a straight up douchebag and treats Chris more like his property than her own person) I think Chris should’ve gotten more outraged or at least made it clear that what Knox did was disgusting and wrong. But Knox keeps obsessing over her and even shows up in her school where he, upon meeting Chris, ignores her wish to leave her alone and proceeds to humiliate the girl he’s oh so in love with (keep in mind he’s barely spoken to Chris and met her twice up until that point) in front of her class. And he’s rewarded for it afterwards, by his friends giving him kudos and eventually Chris showing up at Welton. Every single point she makes on why Knox can’t be in love with her and how his obsession takes on unhealthy dimensions is valid - and they are simply dismissed by Knox’ charm and persistence.

The problem is not really Knox’ behaviour. It’s problematic, yes, but characters are allowed to be flawed, they are allowed to be problematic - how can you tell a compelling story without character growth? The issue is that the story doesn’t acknowledge the fact that Knox’ behaviour is disgusting and inappropriate. At no point in the film does someone point out that what he did was overstepping boundaries and harassing a girl. He’s side-eyed for confessing his feelings in class but that just puts him in the position of a misunderstood character. And in the end the story even rewards him with getting the girl, thus supporting his decisions and actions and seeing nothing wrong with it. Young boys watch this and think this is how you treat a person you’re interested in. Young girls watch this and think this is how you’re supposed to be treated by someone who’s interested in you. The film depicts an unhealthy idea of romance and makes it out to be something you should aspire to have.

This storyline doesn’t keep me from enjoying the film though. I don’t like it, I don’t approve of it and I don’t allow it to taint everything else the film has to offer. And while most people watching Dead Poets Society are aware of the issue of Knox’ and Chris’ romance, I wanted to put this out there to make sure that we remember this film has its flaws. And that’s alright. No film, no tv show, no piece of writing or art has ever been objectively and in every sense perfect. It’s still a product of human work and imagination. And it’s still beautiful but we must acknowledge the stains that often become more apparent with time and progress.

#dead poets society #dps commentary #knox overstreet #chris noel

[new-sandrafilter]

True Romance: Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet on reuniting for Little Women

They may be posing in an airy lower Manhattan studio, but Timothée Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan have a way of making you feel right at home. “I made a little playlist this morning,” Chalamet announces to the room. He syncs up his cell phone to the sound system, his boyish grin widening as Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” starts blaring. He returns to the camera, which snaps him and Ronan at a furious pace.

It’s their first joint cover shoot. He’s wearing a shimmery striped shirt with high-waist trousers; she’s rocking a shirtdress, fishnet stockings, and clear stilettos. He keeps cracking her up; she musses his hair with doting affection. During a break that follows, he wanders, gripping a paper bag stuffed with assorted bagels — from Tompkins Square Bagels, which Chalamet, a lifelong New Yorker, insists are the best in the city — and offering one to anyone in his path. He sings and dances — very Elio-in-the-town-square-like — to Bob Dylan’s “Tombstone Blues.” He creeps behind a distracted Ronan before spooking her with a yelp. “I didn’t even know you were there!” she exclaims, reddening from the fright but with a smile so lovingly at ease, you sense she’s used to the prank.

They’ve known each other, after all, for some time. About three years ago, Ronan, now 25, and Chalamet, 23, met filming Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s solo directorial debut, in which Ronan’s irrepressible heroine (briefly) romances Chalamet’s douchey amateur musician. They reunited with Gerwig last year, on the heels of Lady Bird’s Oscar-nominated success, for a bigger undertaking: a remake of the oft-remade Little Women (Dec. 25). Ronan and Chalamet slipped into the roles of tomboyish Jo March and buoyant Theodore “Laurie” Laurence, best friends who ultimately break each other’s hearts. Their courtship ranks among American culture’s oldest tales of unrequited love — made indelible by Katharine Hepburn and Douglass Montgomery, Winona Ryder and Christian Bale, and so many others — yet finds, in the hands of two of the most compelling actors of their generation, galvanizing new life.

That goes, in fact, for the whole of Gerwig’s Little Women. Her version certainly contains the snow-globe coziness of treasured adaptations past, but also carries a fizzy emotional authenticity and attention to detail. The film is remarkably lived-in, too: This take on Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 novel, which follows Jo and her three sisters pre– and post–American Civil War, feels plucked straight from the text in the best way, with siblings fighting like siblings, love and loss and hope and pain vividly experienced on screen.

Ronan and Chalamet’s charming big sister–little brother dynamic is not unlike the one that Jo and Laurie share in Little Women. Watch the actors play off one another, and the film’s tender realism clarifies itself: Their on-camera intimacy is just as palpable behind the scenes. Indeed, after shooting Lady Bird for a few weeks, the pair hung out regularly over the next year, making the awards-circuit rounds and scoring lead-acting Oscar nominations — Ronan for Lady Bird, Chalamet for Call Me by Your Name — before swiftly signing on to Little Women. In advance of filming in Concord, Mass. (the actual setting of the book), Gerwig and producer Amy Pascal gathered the large production’s cast and crew for rehearsals at a house just outside the town. For Ronan and Chalamet, the contrast between this and their early Lady Bird days was immense. “I felt very prideful… about how big it had gotten, how many people were there,” Chalamet recounts. “On Lady Bird it was, like, 25 people hanging out in a house!”

They fell back into each other’s rhythms instantly. “He keeps me on my toes — I’m never quite sure what he’s going to do next,” Ronan says. “That only progressed more and grew more. It helped that we do have a very natural rapport with each other…. These two characters physically need to be very comfortable with one another. They’re literally intertwined for half the film.” Chalamet adds: “In the least clichéd way possible, it really doesn’t feel like [I’m] acting sometimes [with her].”

Chalamet credits Gerwig, too, for establishing a playful, comfortable atmosphere. He thinks back to his first day of rehearsal: He reunited with Ronan. He introduced himself to Emma Watson (who plays the eldest March sister, Meg). He was guided into a third-floor conference room of a “random building” where, “all of a sudden, there was a full dance class going on.” He recalls fondly: “Everyone breaks down and becomes a little kid. This job is so trippy in that regard — you want to be serious, you want to be professional, and then it’s almost best when you’re able to be 12 years old. When it’s someone you’re actually friends with, it makes it easier.”

Ronan smirks, gearing up for a jab: “We’re not friends!” Delighted, Chalamet keeps the bit going. “We’re not friends,” he says, solemnly. For once, they’re not very convincing.

Greta Gerwig doesn’t remember a time before she knew Jo March. “[Little Women] was very much part of who I always was,” the writer-director, 36, says. “It was something my mother read to me when I was growing up. It’s been with me for a very long time.”

She joined Sony Pictures’ new Little Women adaptation when she was hired to write the script in 2016. Once Lady Bird bowed the next year, she emerged as a candidate to direct the film. “Greta had a very specific, energized, kind of punk-rock, Shakespearean take on this story,” Pascal says. “She came in and had a meeting with all of us and said, ‘I know this has been done before, but nobody can do it but me.’” She got the gig.

In her approach, Gerwig drew on her lifelong relationship with Little Women; beyond childhood, she discovered new, complex layers to the novel, and in turn to Alcott’s legacy. “As a girl, my heroine was Jo March, and as a grown lady, my heroine is Louisa May Alcott,” she says. It’s perhaps why Gerwig’s Little Women feels like the most adult — and modern — version of the story that’s reached the screen to date. The movie begins with the March sisters in adulthood — typically where the narrative’s second half begins — and unfolds like a memory play, shifting back and forth between that present-day frame and extended flashbacks to the childhood scenes etched in the American literary canon.

In that, Gerwig finds fascinating, fresh areas of exploration regarding women’s lives: the choices society forces them to make, the beauty and struggles of artistic pursuit, the consequences of rebellion. Jo’s journey as a writer anchors Gerwig’s direction; tempestuous Amy (Florence Pugh) gets more of a spotlight as she matures as a painter (and Laurie’s eventual wife); and Meg is realized with newfound nuance: “We felt it was important to show Meg juggling all her roles — a mother, a wife, a sister — whilst also celebrating her dreams, despite them being different to those of her sisters,” says Watson. But Gerwig doesn’t see herself as reinventing the wheel. “A lot of the lines in the film are taken right from the book,” she explains. “When Amy says, ‘I want to be great or nothing’ — she says that in the book! I don’t think we remember that, but she does say it.” Gerwig also loves one line spoken by the sisters’ mother, Marmee (Laura Dern), also revived in this version: “I’m angry almost every single day.”

Gerwig compiled a “bible” filled with cultural references: to Whistler tableaux of family life, to David Bowie–Jean Seberg hairdos that inspire the look of Jo’s mid-film cut, to Alcott family letters. “I wanted it to be footnote-able,” Gerwig says. “I wanted to point to it and say, ‘This is where this is from.’” She considers Alcott’s text sacred: “I wanted to treat the text as something that could be made fresh by great acting.”

Beyond those charged but less quoted Little Women lines are its famous ones — throw-pillow staples like Jo’s “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,” that no adaptation is complete without. The actors rehearsed these “almost like a song,” pushing to move through them with a rapid musicality. “We [read] the book out loud,” says Dern. Gerwig expected the script’s words to be memorized precisely. “I knew I wanted them to get this cadence that felt sparkly and slightly irreverent,” she says. “I wanted to make them move at the speed of light.”

She poured the same love into iconic scenes, like Jo and Laurie’s ebullient dance that follows their first meeting. Here it goes on longer — and more vibrantly — than in any previous iteration. (Ronan says they filmed it at 3 a.m., to boot, adding, “We must have done it, like, 30 times.”) Then there’s the devastating moment when Laurie asks Jo to marry him and she rejects his proposal. Gerwig tasked the two actors to unleash here. “Emotions just bubble over,” Ronan says. “[Greta] just let us go with it, wherever it went, from take to take. What I loved about that scene is that every take would be different emotionally. It didn’t have the same trajectory.

“The two of us, it’s a relationship I have with no other director,” Ronan continues. “She makes me feel like I can try anything.”

As Ronan and Chalamet emerge from their photo-studio dressing area in impossibly chic new ensembles — she donning a form-fitting knit sweater, he a silky, ruffled top — their creative energy fills the space. They try out different poses, debating concepts and ideas with each other on the fly; at one point he wraps his arms around her waist, and she quips to no one in particular, “We’re expecting our first.” Camera snap.

They’re modeling a new brand of movie stardom — pursuing projects with a point of view, adamantly being themselves in the public eye, subverting gender norms. Their androgynous fashion performance here reflects their wardrobe shake-ups in Little Women: Gerwig and Oscar-winning costumer Jacqueline Durran (Anna Karenina) had the two actors swapping clothes throughout filming, to reinforce the masculine-feminine fluidity between Jo and Laurie. “They are two halves,” as Pascal puts it. “These are really bold characters that are really different than you’ve seen them before.”

And just as Gerwig expressed a need to direct Little Women, Ronan knew in her bones she needed to play Jo. She’d first encountered the story via the 1994 film when she was 11, and later read the book, feeling an immediate kinship with the young woman she’d come to portray. “When Louisa describes Jo, it felt like someone describing me physically: sort of gangly and stubborn and very straightforward, and went for what she wanted.” At an event for Lady Bird, she — in a very Jo kind of way — just “went at it” by approaching Gerwig. “I said, ‘So I want to be in Little Women, but only if I’m playing Jo.’” (Chalamet, for his part, was asked by Gerwig, “Hey, want to do another movie?” He responded: “Yes. Yes, please.”)

Over months of living in Concord with her castmates, Ronan discovered new depths within herself: “Jo’s ethos is ‘Everything everyone else is doing, I’m going to do the opposite.’ [I had] to try things that I’d never tried before. Be a bit messier with a performance.” Gerwig set up etiquette lessons for the cast; whatever the instructor said (“Don’t shake hands! Don’t gesticulate with your arms!”), Ronan made sure to ignore it. She speaks now of this as freeing, even transformative. “I felt like I had tapped into something I’d never gotten the opportunity to tap into before, or I just didn’t have the guts to tap into myself,” she says. “Finding that was just amazing.”

Shortly after wrapping Little Women, she filmed Wes Anderson’s next film, The French Dispatch — marking her third time costarring with Chalamet, who plays a central role. As for now? Ronan is taking a little break. “I’ll wait for the right thing to come along,” she says. “It’s lovely to be in a position at this moment where I can wait for the absolute right thing.” Same goes for Chalamet — he shot Netflix’s The King (out Oct. 11) right before Little Women and just completed production on Denis Villeneuve’s Dune adaptation. “It’s the first time in almost two years I’ve gotten a breath, so I’m savoring it.”

It’s been a long day. They’re back in comfy clothes; Ronan is taking a late lunch. It feels like both actors — as another whirlwind of acclaim and press and romance-shipping awaits — are at a kind of peace, exhausted but satisfyingly so. Little Women is the biggest movie either has done to date; more attention, as they inhabit such revered characters, is sure to follow. “I just haven’t thought about it that way,” Ronan admits. “Maybe because it’s just Greta — even though it’s on a much bigger scale, she wanted it to feel like Lady Bird.”

Ronan understands the timeless power of Little Women, of course: “It’s as important to tell Little Women right now as it would be at any point in our lifetime.” She points to this pop culture climate of “celebrating female friendships and sisterhood,” and continues, “It’s a story that’s full of love. That will always be relevant.”

She turns toward Chalamet, and you realize the love they brought to Alcott’s classic is what first blossomed between them on Lady Bird. “I love that in Lady Bird, you broke my heart,” she says to him softly. “In Little Women, I got to break your heart.” (Chalamet, ever the goofball, finds an obvious opening: “Yes, that’s true. Then I married your sister. Ha, ha, ha!”)

If this all sounds a little idyllic, well, neither actor — nor Gerwig, nor Pascal, nor the rest of the cast — can do much to convince you otherwise. Shifting back to Little Women’s timelessness, and reflecting on Ronan’s comments about it, Chalamet says, “I don’t know how to add to that.” Instead he turns back to his costar, his expression suddenly sincere, filled with gratitude. “But if I can add one little dose of information,” he says with a nervous laugh. “And not just because she’s sitting next to me.” He credits Ronan with bringing that “timeless energy.” He says “thank God” they were able to make the movie. “It’s so rare with Saoirse — I’m so f—ing grateful to get to work with her,” he says. “Whatever book I write for myself when I’m older, to look back on —” He stops himself. “Well, this is a bigger conversation.”

But Ronan, chuckling, doesn’t let him off the hook. “Will I have, like, a chapter?” And Chalamet laughs — another opening, another chance to act with his greatest scene partner, to see what journey of creation and discovery they’ll go on next. “A chapter of Saoirse,” he says.

At this rate, one chapter won’t suffice.

#timmy #timothee chalamet #saoirse ronan #little women

[sleepykittypaws]

The Christmas House

Original Air Date: November 23, 2020 (Hallmark) Where to Watch?: Hallmark will replay it multiple times this season, and for every season in perpetuity

It's impossible to review Hallmark's The Christmas House without noting that this time last year, then-Crown Media CEO Bill Abbott was personally taking phone calls from a SPLC-designated hate group, and pulling a Zola ad showing two brides chastely kissing from his network, at that hate group's behest. The ensuing firestorm of well-earned criticism following Abbott's bad judgement, is, without question, what brought us to today, with Abbott ousted, a woman of color, Wonya Lucas, now at Hallmark's helm, and a still totally G-rated holiday lineup that now regularly features former Hallmark no-gos like, interracial romance and LGBTQ+ inclusion, improving Hallmark's abysmal diversity record, one movie at a time. 

So, even though Hallmark had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, it's still hard not to be at least a little emotional that they're finally joining us here. The bigots are still having online temper tantrums about losing their all-white, all-straight safe space, but Hallmark's holiday ratings are up 7% year-over-year—a significant jump in a world where cable subscriptions are declining by 10-15% annually.

Now, what that progress looks like on a network known for being “clean,” conservative and about as unwilling to take risks as any channel on the planet, is another story. Frequent Hallmark star, and out gay actor, Jonathan Bennett, has been tirelessly talking about The Christmas House, since the day it went into production. And Bennett brings a lot of energy to this ensemble story, written by co-star Robert Buckley, of a family getting together to decorate their home one more time before it's sold. 

Buckley and Bennett play the sons of Sharon Lawrence and Treat Williams, a recently retired couple struggling with that fundamental shift in their relationship. Buckley is the star of a ridiculous court show, Handsome Justice, of which we luckily get to see a clip, and Bennett, a baker, and his husband, played by Brad Harder, are waiting to hear about an adoption, after several previous disappointments. 

Bennett and Buckley bring more humor than is normal for Hallmark to their portrayal of loving, competitive brothers, who clearly enjoy ribbing each other.

How conservative was past hallmark, you ask? Well, that Buckley's girl-next-door love interest is divorced, not widowed, is still a somewhat shocking twist in that world, as is the fact that both Buckley and Bennett are "allowed" to sport some facial scruff, rather than be clean shaven. Oh, and that the family next door is (gasp) Latino, is also something we likely wouldn't have seen in the Hallmark of yore. All of which is just mind-blowing, since those “days of yore” for this TV network were [checks notes]…2019, not 1968.

Lawrence and Williams are believable as a long term couple, and their life-change struggle to re-center their relationship feels real, but the way it's revealed is almost as anti-climactic as its resolution. The movie laid very unsubtle hints along the way—all storytelling progress aside, Hallmark movies are still written so you can half watch and not a miss a thing, allowing folks to join 20 minutes in, or do the dishes and come back without being confused—that Williams and Lawrence's wanting to have "one last Christmas" was about more than just downsizing in retirement. 

When Lawrence told the story of the clearly-actually-brand-new-and-from-Homegoods Santa pot, and what it meant to her, I thought Williams was going to later accidentally break Checkov's sentimental teapot and, in her anger, Lawrence would blurt out something about that's why they were separating, shocking their grown sons. 

And, honestly, as predictable as that would have been, it would probably have had more impact than what did happen…Lawrence just casually telling Buckley while stringing lights, and then nobody really mentioning it again, excepting oblique references during a single conversation between the brothers, and then Lawrence just announces at breakfast that they're not doing that after all.

Definitely feels like Hallmark's aversion to conflict in its stories is one of those provisions that is still firmly in place. (We saw a similar unwillingness to commit to actual marital difficulties, despite that being the central plot point, in Cranberry Christmas.)

Which is too bad, because Lawrence and Williams being much better than the actors usually used for these parent roles, could have handled a more realistic story well, and brought some real emotional beats to the movie.

As expected, Buckley's romance with Ana Ayora was the definite A-plot here, but why did their memory lane rekindling catalyst have to be close-up magic, the worst of all entertainment options? Was there no mime troop they could have been teenage members of? When it comes to magic, and jazz, I'm like Indiana Jones and snakes…Why'd it have to be magic?

Also, no way that 29-year-old guy they have playing "teenage" Mike grows up to be Robert Buckley. Nope! They definitely had to soft focus all the mostly unnecessary flashback scenes so that those actors, easily less than a decade younger than our leads, didn't quite look their age. 

And, c'mon, Buckley, who, again, is the star of his own TV show, gives the love of his life a necklace he bought…in high school? For real? I'm surprised we couldn't see her neck turn green in real time. At least get a gal a little upgrade. Sheesh! 

The whole rival real estate agent thing went nowhere. And what was that subplot even supposed to be about? Would have much rather seen a scene from the Handsome Justice episode where Buckley's character defended a dog accused of murder, than that whole waste of time. 

On the other hand, loved the Grift body spray mentions, and so glad we go to see that ad. Hallmark doesn't do subtle—"But will they get it?" is basically the network's motto—but this is one case of subtext just being text that worked.

Oh and, how did his parents buy a house on the Hudson river just by selling a nice, but fairly average, suburban home? Sure, they said it was a fixer upper, but anything on the water is gonna be way more pricey than where they were, and you've still got to have the cash to do the fixing. Also, you know the old adage about how nothing soothes a struggling marriage like a whole house renovation project, amirite?

Speaking of money…Why didn't Buckley just buy his folks the house right away if he didn't want to see it go? I mean, even if he's only a mid-level TV star, this wasn't some extravegent manse, and certainly wouldn't be an unusual thing for a well-off child to do for their middle-class parents. Why all the rigamarole with the weird guy and the rescinded offer? And, like, what was that all about? So many stories I'd have rather seen from this talented cast than some of the filler we actually got.

Harder didn't get nearly enough to do, but he and Bennett had decent chemistry and they got most of the best lines. The joke about "Will we decorate like this for our kids," and Bennett's emphatic, "No," cut the tension of an emotional scene well, with perfect timing, making it actually, laugh out loud funny—a Hallmark rarity. And when Harder appears in doorway after hearing from the adoption agency, and Bennett knows just by looking at his face what the call said, I got emotional.

That all the couples in this one got to kiss, including Bennett and Harder, is important. With the specter of last year's Zola debacle absolutely lingering over the entire movie, it's hard to think of a better, actual example of #LoveWins, than that moment.

I also teared up when we saw Bennett and Harder's family at the end, not only because it was a long overdue Hallmark milestone, but also because Harder's real-life son, Kael, played he and Bennett's on-screen adopted child, and is just so stinking cute.

Am I giving this bonus points for finally having an LGBTQ+ storyline, even if it was pretty far from the foreground? For sure. But Buckley and Bennett also brought humor and heart to this one, of a variety not usually found on Hallmark, and Lawrence and Williams also upped the ante on the quality here. Notable that Hallmark also sprung for two actual, name-brand holiday songs, so they were willing to spend a little bit of extra cash on this effort, which says more about their “commitment to diversity” than years of empty promises ever did.

Would have liked House even more, if Hallmark had been brave enough to swap the storylines; Bennett falling in love the boy next door, and Buckley and his bride waiting to hear about adoption, but barring that, do wish it had been bit more of a true ensemble (i.e. all three love stories had equal weight).

Despite quibbles, I'm still putting this on top of the 2020 Hallmark heap, at least for the moment, because I laughed, I cried and I felt good about the progress that has been made, no matter how long overdue it is.

As I've said so many times, representation really does matter, particularly on a channel like Hallmark, which caters to exactly the audience that most needs to see LGBTQ+ people laughing, living and loving, just like every other family.

Representation really can change lives. It opens hearts and minds. It can help those struggling within themselves feel seen and worthy. Really can not underestimate how transformative these normalizing glimpses can be, particularly for a network like Hallmark, with a large "conservative" audience. 

"Conservative" is in quotes, because there's nothing genuinely conservative about human rights, and respect for those unlike you. Empathy and acceptance for others should be a baseline standard for living in a society—not a political statement. 

No one has the right to deny someone else's humanity, and someone's choice to hold hate in their heart deserves no respect from Hallmark, or society at large. Really hopeful that some kid out there who feels excluded and awful about themself because their family and upbringing has told them everything they're feeling is wrong and sinful, can now see representation like this on their family's safe space TV channel, and know it's going to be OK.

It's a small step, but it's definitely a good one, and I'm really looking forward to the actual lead LGBTQ+ holiday romances coming soon, like Hulu's Happiest Season (Nov. 25), Lifetime's The Christmas Setup (Dec. 12) and Paramount Network's Dashing in December (Dec. 13), and hoping Hallmark joins that club in 2021.

Until then…

Final Judgement: 3 Paws Up

[miarhodesarchive]

ABOUT MIA.

NAME: Mia Rhodes

AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 28, July 23rd, 1991

GENDER & PRONOUNS: She/Her

PLACE OF BIRTH: Edens Town, NC

TIME IN EDENS TOWN: Grew up in Edens Town, left for college in NYC at 18 and just returned after 10 years away.

DISTRICT: Amber Valley

OCCUPATION: Broadway actress, currently unemployed in Edens Town

FACECLAIM: Julianne Hough

SECRET: Her only somewhat serious relationship was with a cast member during her run in Grease. But he was also in a relationship, and she knew about it. But still remained with him until he left the cast.

PAST.

Mia Rhodes grew up in an all singing, all dancing household, so it was no wonder that she was destined for Broadway. She was dancing before she could walk and singing before she could talk. She had good teachers however, with four other Rhodes siblings paving the way.

She had a good childhood with Allie and Marcus as parents, putting their own performing careers aside to raise their own little Von Trapp family.

As a child, she was given countless opportunities to perform. Local productions at first, but with her parents' connections she later landed Broadway roles in Billy Elliot, Annie and Young Cosette in Les Miserables. She later went to focus more on school, while still taking dance and singing lessons almost daily.

The second she had her high school diploma, Mia moved to NYC to train at the NYU Tisch School of the Arts. She trained hard, putting every ounce of energy into her graft, which paid off when she landed an agent at her graduating showcase.

Fresh out of college, Mia went straight on to audition for broadway. Roles were small at first but she was thankful to have got anything. Ensemble roles in Wicked, West Side Story, We Will Rock You and Grease were her starting blocks but after proving herself, she was recast as Sandy in Grease for another run before moving onto other roles such as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde and Roxie Hart in Chicago.

Mia Rhodes was building a rather impressive resume but it all seemed too good to be true. And it was.

PRESENT.

An accident during a rehearsal for Chicago left her with a shattered ankle, taking her off the stage for weeks while her understudy filled in. With the gruellingly intense dance numbers, there was no chance she could perform until she was fully healed.

Mia decided to return back to Edens Town while she recovered, giving her a chance to enjoy a slightly slower pace of life, or as slow as it got in the Rhodes household. She now had nieces and nephews running around.

But while she was home, she realised she actually liked the place she had grown up in and wondered if it was maybe time to take a step back from the spotlight and the constant go go go of New York City.

FUTURE PLOTS/PLANS.

Mia is nearing her thirties and has never had a serious long term relationship. Of course, there have been boyfriends here and there but she has never taken a moment to settle down, always prioritising her career above anything else.

She would like to have a family of her own at some point. After growing up with such a big one, she wants that for herself. She just needs a man willing to put up with her.

She considers the idea of teaching classes at the local dance studio where she spent so many hours of her own childhood, hoping to encourage the younger generation to pursue their dreams.

Mia also needs to make the decision if she wants to return to Broadway or not. Her role is still open when she is ready to go back, but the longer she remains in Edens Town, the more doubts she starts to have.

TLDR.

Mia has the bubbliest personality brimming with positivity but she is also the kindest soul.

She may seem like she has everything, but she more than anything wants someone to share her life with.

She has four other siblings, two sisters and a brother, including some nieces and nephews, which makes a pretty full Rhodes house during the holidays.

Her parents were Broadway and West End performers too, meeting while in a show. Mia hoped for that fairytale like romance on some level for herself.

Despite growing up in Edens Town, she hasn’t really stayed in touch with anyone. Her return to town may have been a bit of a surprise for those that do know her.

She also may be known by people more for her work and less for who she used to be.

#about. bright lights but it’s fading

[miarhodes]

ABOUT MIA.

Name: Mia Kate Rhodes

Birthday: July 23rd, 1992

Gender & pronouns: She/Her

Place of birth & time in Asteria: Grew up in Asteria, left for college in NYC at 18 and just returned after 10 years away.

District: Rosewood Hills

Occupation: Broadway actress, currently teaching a few dance classes at the studio.

Faceclaim: Julianne Hough

SECRET.

Her only somewhat serious relationship was with a cast member during her run in Grease. He is very well known in the Broadway world, but he was also in a relationship, and she knew about it. But still remained with him until he left the cast. No one knows about it apart from her sister Kat and her best friend in NYC.

PAST.

Mia Rhodes grew up in an all singing, all dancing household, so it was no wonder that she was destined for Broadway. She was dancing before she could walk and singing before she could talk. She had good teachers however, with four other Rhodes siblings paving the way.

She had a good childhood with Allie and Marcus as parents, putting their own performing careers aside to raise their own little Von Trapp family. Katherine came first, then [Damon], Olivia, [Haley] and finally Mia.

As a child, she was given countless opportunities to perform. Local productions at first, but with her parents' and Kat’s connections, she later landed Broadway roles in Billy Elliot, Annie and Young Cosette in Les Miserables. She later went to focus more on school, while still taking dance and singing lessons almost daily. After years of being home schooled, she finally joined public school at fourteen, wanting the ‘normal’ high school experience. But even in school she didn’t stop. She was part of the drama club, on the dance team and also a cheerleader, although she didn’t compete. Whilst in school, she still attended almost daily singing and dancing classes and by the time she graduated, she was an incredible dancer.

The second she had her high school diploma, Mia moved to NYC to train at the NYU Tisch School of the Arts. She trained hard, putting every ounce of energy into her graft, which paid off when she landed an agent at her graduating showcase. A lot of her drive came from her admiration of her eldest sister Kat; she wanted to do as well as she did and make her sister proud.

Fresh out of college, Mia went straight on to audition for broadway. Roles were small at first but she was thankful to have got anything. Ensemble roles in Wicked, West Side Story, We Will Rock You, 42nd Street and Grease were her starting blocks but after proving herself, she was recast as Sandy in Grease for another run before moving onto other roles such as Velma Kelly in Chicago and Sherrie in Rock of Ages.

Mia Rhodes was building a rather impressive resume but it all seemed too good to be true. And it was.

PRESENT.

An accident during a rehearsal for Rock of Ages left her with a shattered ankle, taking her off the stage for weeks while her understudy filled in. With the gruellingly intense dance numbers, there was no chance she could perform until she was fully healed.

Mia decided to return back to Asteria while she recovered, giving her a chance to enjoy a slightly slower pace of life, or as slow as it got in the Rhodes household. She now had nieces and nephews running around.

But while she was home, she realised she actually liked the place she had grown up in and wondered if it was maybe time to take a step back from the spotlight and the constant go go go of New York City.

Mia is nearing her thirties and has never had a serious long term relationship. Of course, there have been boyfriends here and there but she has never taken a moment to settle down, always prioritising her career above anything else.

She would like to have a family of her own at some point. After growing up with such a big one, she wants that for herself. She just needs a man willing to put up with her.

She considers the idea of teaching classes at the local dance studio where she spent so many hours of her own childhood, hoping to encourage the younger generation to pursue their dreams.

Mia also needs to make the decision if she wants to return to Broadway or not. Her role is still open when she is ready to go back, but the longer she remains in Edens Town, the more doubts she starts to have.

HEADCANONS.

Mia has the bubbliest personality brimming with positivity but she is also the kindest soul.

She may seem like she has everything, but she more than anything wants someone to share her life with.

She has four other siblings, three sisters and a brother, including some nieces and nephews, which makes a pretty full Rhodes house during the holidays, but she is closest with Kat, her eldest sister who was her biggest role model growing up.

Her parents were Broadway and West End performers too, meeting while in a show. Mia hoped for that fairytale like romance on some level for herself.

They encouraged all their children into dance, singing and acting when they were young but never forced them. If they had wanted to stop or find another hobby, they would have respected their choices. They would always want their children to be happy

Despite growing up in Asteria, she hasn’t really stayed in touch with many people. Her return to town may have been a bit of a surprise for those that do know her.

She also may be known by people more for her work and less for who she used to be.

#about. bright lights but it’s fading #asteriaintro

[zestynoodz]

How did you get into theatre? Do you have any interesting theatre stories?

I started doing theatre I think in middle school. I took a long brake from it in high school because the director didnt like my siblings and thus wouldn't cast me. I still loved it but I didnt do any shows or anything during that time. (That was actually when I started singing and dancing 🤷) I then took an acting class when I was a sociology major and fell right in love again and switched my major. Now I'm doing it professionally which is super cool.

I cant speak too much on my professional work due to NDA stuff. I have been lucky enough to be called back for leads on four of the six professional musicals Ive auditioned for. Along side that I was cast in three shows last year without ever auditioning for them.

My favorite theater story was when I was playing Fester in The Addams Family we had to build a prosthetic brow bone. I had already agreed to shave my head for the part and refused to shave my eyebrows for the part. We couldnt get my eyebrows glued down and the look they wanted needed my eyebrows to disappear. So in the big number before intermission I have a verse where I'm standing on the table and confessing my love for the moon. I'm doing a whole song and dance on top of this table in center stage. (The song is Full Disclosure if anyone is curious) So we had to use liquid latex to glue the prosthetic to my face and obviously I'm super fucking hot and I can see a single bead of a combination of sweat latex and makeup slowly making its way down my nose and it gets flung onto the woman playing Grandma Addams.

In the same show, during rehearsal, were running the song "One Normal Night" where I'm convincing the ensemble to help the night run smoothly. The blocking has me jumping around the stage and singing to the ensemble. I go off stage after my part and our Wednesday pulls me aside and tells me theres a hole in my pants. I dont think it's a big deal so I go back on stage to finish the song and when I come back off I find out there is a tear all the way down my butt from the combo of tight pants and jumping across stage. Theres actually a picture of it in my me tag if I'm not mistaken.

About a year ago I was in a play called "10 Pin Alley." A lot of the show is improvised so another member of the cast (with whom I have maybe two interactions with written into the script) and I silently decide that were going to improvise a romance between our characters. And we decide this on closing night. For reference everyone in the show is a bowling pin. Theres a point where the pins get knocked over and we end up almost spooning. So of course I just start spooning him and it gets a big laugh. When we all stand back up we both do a kind of walk of shame to our next positions. Theres another point where we're standing next to each other while most of the other pins are on the floor and he just kinda takes my hand. Again a big laugh. Finally theres a point at the end of the show that hes grabbing a hand full of the other pins and says "I failed you" over and over again and then runs off. Of course I'm the last one he grabs and I respond, with no hesitation, "I love you" to which he just says "No" and throws me back to the ground and runs off stage.

My last one is that I was in a play called "Shut Up and Let Me Talk" in which I was one of the leads and its just about my character both being abused by and abusing his partner. The entire show is just one big power struggle. The guy cast as my love interest is a straight guy and I had to teach him what Chapstick is because the first time we blocked the kiss it felt like sand paper.

Those are all my good ones I can share. Sorry this post was so long but thanks for the asks!

#zesty answers

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

#please dont be weird about this post i hope its like understandable what im trying to think about here? #like i dont think its that weird to consider nor am i claiming anything bad or destructive about ppls lives n genders n whatever #purely an observation about myself and the way i consumed media ages like 8-12 #in reflection as a gay/trans adult and thinking about what those things might have potentially been expressing or something #i dont know any official queer theory stuff n i dont think that should stop me from thinking my own thoughts so here u go #also i am TRULY sorry if this readmore doesnt work

[luckycheesefoodie321]

I have no recollection of this existing but here it is...straight from the cave that is my drafts...a review on You’re All Surrounded...

YALL...I GOT SOME SH*T TO SAY ABOUT THAT ENDING!!! AND THE SHOW OVERALL SO SPOILERS AND LONG POST

Ok first of all:

This DORKUS MCBEAN MR LEGENDARY DETECTIVE IDIOT BOX...came to the final fight with a FRIGGEN BB GUN AND A STRAW HAT!!!! Why were you in a straw hat Seo Pan Seok??? And a friggen B.B. gun??? The boi bursts in with his gotdang BB gun to a situation where the main baddie has his gun pointed right at Dae Gu’s head with Dae Gu yelling at main baddie to shoot bc he’s already live-streamed everything and main baddie was gonna go to jail anyway...but when asked about how and when he got there, this idiot box just makes a weird noncommittal “I dunno” sorta grunt and shrugs??? Dammit I love him but this idiot. Glad he’s enjoying life as a local police.

AND THEN:

(I legit can’t find any other gif of this dude but CREDITS TO THE OWNER)

CHA TAE HO CONTINUES TO PROVE HE’S THE BEST FRIGGEN CHARACTER:

The dude is loud and abrasive and aggressive and a n g e r y like all the time and believes Team 3 has such bad luck he tried to exorcise them with red beans...but when the Chief gets run over by a truck and he hears that it was attempted murder; does he bat a f*cking eye?!?! NO HE IMMEDIATELY STEPS TF UP WITH HIS BUSTED FOOT AND ALL AND OFFERS TO HELP THE INVESTIGATION AND SUPPORT TEAM 3 NO MATTER WHAT

Seriously what happened to Im Won Hee during filming that busted his toe??? They brushed it off as his superstitions regarding how bad luck the Criminal Investigations Department was

He sent off Pan Seok with a small charm baggy of red beans for luck. If that ain’t love idk what is

THEN OF COURSE THE MAIN ORDER OF THE DAY:

That scene. Those who’ve watched know what I’m talking about. It was so goddamn powerful and the acting delivery was actually incredible. Go Ara conveying every inch of Su Seon’s desperation as she struggles to get back to Dae Gu, declaring her love and demanding he stay alive. And then Lee Seung Gi, he didn’t say a friggen word but his facials and his body language all screamed with Dae Gu’s agony, watching the woman he loves be dragged away as she’s saying she loves him, and just desperately wanting to go to her but knowing he can’t bc he still has a job to finish. If Su Seon hadn’t been there, begging him to stay alive, who knows if he would have gone ahead with shooting himself, or actually allowed the main baddie to kill him...the look on his face when he was bargaining with the Assemblyman showed that he was prepared to follow through bc the footage was live-streaming anyhow, so even if he had died, he knew that Yoo Moon Bae would be caught...but seeing how desperate Su Seon was and hearing those words may have pushed him to see through the mission alive...it was a great scene. I think, despite more focus being on the mystery plot, the slowly growing admiration, affection and then romance between Su Seon and Dae Gu’s was nicely developed. Could’ve been better but the romance wasn’t the focus so I can forgive that. We got an incredible intense scene showcasing just how great their love has developed as compensation so I’m cool with that.

NOW TO COMMENT ON THE FRIGGEN SQUAD DYNAMICS:

I lovvvve me a good ensemble. Especially “reverse harem” types with the one girl and a bunch of dudes. (Though there were 2 other strong women figures but I’ll get to them in a bit). Su Seon wasn’t the main main character, so it’s not the typical reverse harem ensemble where it all revolves around the one girl, but that being said, I got a nice taste of it during the arc where Su Seon’s mom got attacked and all her boys stepped UP. Su Seon was in distress and all her boys were there to take down the problem no matter the cost or the opponent. This was during the period where Dae Gu’s affection and crush was levelling up to genuine romantic feelings too so even better. Best was when the mum called the boys her sons and subsequently ignored the fact that she had an actual son who never visited to check up on his mom??? But anyway, when they all just quietly watch over Su Seon while she cries in the dark, and get outraged just looking at the bruises on her mom’s face??? Ugh yes. And this is just where Su Seon was the focus. When Dae Gu got attacked and his true identity and past revealed and everyone was just doting on him and helping him without smothering him and then the same thing when Tae Il got stabbed and he told them about his brother and family. And the genuine camaraderie between them felt so natural, teasing Dae Gu about being the youngest among them, hanging out and eating ice cream together, and convincing Su Seon’s mom she lived with them, and drinking together, and helping Su Seon move out of her tent. Of course the two dads of the Rookie Squad can’t be forgotten, always there as guiding influences despite the rocky start. Detective Lee and Pan Seok unashamed to dish out the compliments on Su Seon’s looks. And Pan Seok’s reactions every time he saw Dae Gu and Su Seon kiss. Ughh yes squad was real and I loved it.

oh apparently I was gonna discuss the two women??? but it’s been too long sooo: one was a badass detective who was head of Missing Persons...but she was kinda defined by her relationship to Pan Seok looking back...but they did well in establishing her character...that said she got in the way of my boy Tae Il being the true queer I wished he was...but alas no...his brother was, and it brought about a really dark reflection on the reality of the lgbt+ community when they come out to their families...but then the brother dies???? I’m not down...what happened to his husband???

but anyway, the detective lady was great but not a main sooo...and I can’t remember the story as well now being quite a while since I watched the show...the other strong female figure was the captain (???) who was also a pseudo-antagonist...I liked that she was morally ambiguous and also a woman in power but lame she was still subject to the whims of some asshole male politician...but this leaned into the overall message of how women can be treated in the workforce, and society in general, and that’s what she had been fight for and had gotten lost along the way...

idk what else to say bc again this was a post from months ago soooo:

CHA TAE HO FOR THE WIN!!!

#you're all surrounded #all surrounded #you are all surrounded #kdrama #you're all surrounded kdrama #korean drama #asian drama #review #you're all surrounded spoiler #you're all surrounded review #kdrama review #long post #spoilers #spoiler review #go a ra #go ara #lee seung gi #cha seung won #eun dae gu #seo pan seok #eo su seon #eo soo sun #ahn jae hyun #park tae il #oh yoon ah #kim sa kyung #park jung min #ji gook #ji guk #im won hee

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Walk Me Home - Ch 4

Summary: Twenty-four years ago, Kimberly Harper met a boy who changed the course of her entire life before up and leaving one night. She spent years moving past the memories, building a stable, satisfying career as professor of folklore and mythology at the local university. Then the accidents start, and she’s forced to seek help among her hunter contacts. All it takes is a knock on her office door to send Kimber’s carefully built emotional walls crumbling to the ground.

Featuring: Teen Winchesters, high school romance, reunions, misunderstandings, high intensity emotional turmoil, Dean’s love of pie, Dean being adorable, Sam being adorable and maybe a bit nosy eventually, much group adorkable-ness, show-style investigation, mention of our favorite werewolf, gratuitous and obvious love of fall, DID I MENTION ROMANCE, fluff, smut, tension. 

Warnings: Show level violence, show level parental neglect (let’s not John bash, I’m just saying), show-style witchcraft, show-level mental manipulation, stalking, bit of angst, sexual content (higher than show level),swearing, general yearning

Word Count: 2702

Author’s Note: Mega thanks to @mskathywriteswords​ , @fangirlxwritesx67​, and @cracksinthewalls​ for editing, revision, flailing, and generally knocking sense into me when I’m being stubborn. You all made this story way better than it started it, and I love you. Thanks to everyone who read/reblogged/liked the first chapter. I hope you enjoy the story as much as I do. 

@thoughtslikeaminefield​ , I hope you still love this as much as the first time you read it. I know I do.

Keep in Mind: There are a lot of flashbacks. I tried to write current events in present tense and flashbacks in past tense. Here’s hoping I got everything right!

Please read/heed the warnings. 18+ ONLY. 

In Case You Missed It: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Chapter 4

Kimber knows she’s staring, but she can’t stop herself. His fingers, rough and strong from years of the hardest work, brush circles over her wrists that send her pulse fluttering through her veins. So many emotions flicker behind his eyes, some of them mirroring her own, some of them alien and unreadable. So many years have passed, so much water under the bridge, as the saying goes. 

The thing is, he was completely right earlier. She could have called him, once she learned who he and his family were, once she found a way.

But he had left town with her phone number memorized. He was in a much more logical position to get in touch, and right away, at that. And he never did. She knows he had a good reason, a completely reasonable one that would make sense if she just asked him.

But she’s scared and drained and confused and more than a little ashamed, and she’s tired of making a fool of herself.

She drops her eyes before the tears fully form and murmurs a quiet thanks as she loosens her hands from his grip. Though walking away is not what she wants to do, she forces her legs straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind her with a firm click. 

She’ll feel better after a hot shower. That’s all she needs, a hot shower and a few hours of sleep. They’ll figure this out tomorrow, and then Dean and his brother will ride off into the sunset, and everything will go back to normal. She’ll go back to her classes as usual, helping out the occasional hunter or scholar with some lore, and she’ll bury all these feelings behind her heart again, drown them so deep they’ll never dream of resurfacing.

At least, that’s the fairy tale she tells herself as the scalding stream washes the saltwater from her cheeks. 

She actually does feel moderately restored by the time she steps out of the bathroom. She feels a little ridiculous in Dean’s clothing. The sleeves of the t-shirt hang past her elbows, and the pants legs are rolled up several times to keep her from tripping. 

At least the waist has a drawstring, she thinks as she rounds the corner back into the room. She pulls the towel from her hair, shaking it out a little just as Dean looks up from his laptop at the small table. His mouth opens, eyes widening. She’s not sure because of the poor lighting of the room, but his face seems to color a little as his eyebrows lift.

She is suddenly, acutely aware that she did not put her bra back on when getting dressed in his white t-shirt that is probably not nearly as thin as it feels.

Dean clears his throat, turning back to his computer, swallowing whatever comments have entered his mind. Kimber can’t decide whether to laugh or blush even harder and settles for the third option of hanging her office clothes up so they can air out a little before tomorrow. 

With nothing else to do, she drops onto the edge of the bed gracelessly, feeling every minute of the last few weeks catching up with her. Uncertainty and fear claw at her, ripping away what little defenses she has left. The image of the mutilated doll flashes before her eyes, red paint splashed luridly on her favorite comforter. Her lungs clench, and she sags on the mattress. 

She presses her fingers hard against her face. Acid burns at the back of her throat, bitter and biting. Her fingernails are just beginning to dig into her scalp when she registers the click of the laptop closing. Half a moment passes, then the bed dips beside her. 

She doesn’t consciously decide to move; her body simply molds itself to his side as Dean slides his arm around her back. He turns into the embrace, his other arm gathering her tightly against him. His cheek comes to rest on top of her head. The silence between them is the comfort she needs, his warmth and solidity the anchor that keeps her from drifting too far into panic.

When he finally speaks, his words rumble through her nerves, settling heavy and soothing in her chest.

“We’re gonna get this son of a bitch, Kimber. I’m sorry they got into your house, but I’m glad I was with you. I…” She rises gently with his deep inhalation, pressed as she is against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

She hears what he isn’t saying, and her hands drop from her face, her arms slipping around his middle as her eyes close.

“Me, too, Dean.”

...

“That pumpkin pie was somethin’ else,” Dean murmured. His arms were folded behind his head as he stretched out on top of Kimber’s bedspread. He crossed his ankles, settling in like he belonged there. His thin t-shirt stretched across his wiry frame, jeans lying enticingly low on his hips, and she could just see a glimpse of pink toe through a hole in one of his socks.

A pleasant, off-balancing thrill skipped down Kimber’s spine, twirling through her stomach and making her head spin a little. Dean’s jacket was hung carefully on her desk chair, his boots lined up on the floor underneath, and his button-up overshirt folded neatly on the desk.

Her parents had gone to bed long ago, and she had snuck Dean in the back door. After their exhilarating but chilled stroll that afternoon, she’d decided against the treehouse. Dean had been amused but willing, although he’d had one stipulation that had nearly made her laugh aloud.

“We get caught and your folks kick me out, you’re bringing me your mom’s leftovers to school every day for breakfast. I’m not missin’ out on home cooking just because you can’t stand to be away from me.”

Now, seeing him so comfortable on her bed, like he just belonged...Kimber knew the smile on her face was on the goofier end of sappy, but she couldn’t help it. He was just so damned…

“Cute,” he said, smirking up at her. “I know what you’re thinking. And I’m not cute. I’m adorable.”

She sighed dramatically, feigning exasperation. “Fine, you’re gorgeous, adorable, vital, the absolute most. Now close your eyes so I can change.” Smirk still firmly in place, Dean dutifully closed his eyes. She knew, despite the short time she’d known him, that she could trust Dean to keep his eyes shut.

She spent a few seconds regretting the lack of any silky, dramatic nightgowns or cute, sexy little matching pajama sets. Oh, well; couldn’t have everything. She stripped quickly, tossing her school clothes into the hamper and slipping on her “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters” t-shirt. Thick socks and plaid pajama pants completed her night ensemble. 

That she had just been naked (however unseen said nakedness had been) in front of Dean Winchester had not escaped her. She licked her lips, cheeks warm, and turned slowly back to the bed. He lay still, chest rising and falling steadily, and she marveled, not for the first time, that he was here, in her room. Just for her.

Her pulse jumped, her lungs tightened, and for just a second, Kimber panicked.

“You can, uh...you can open your eyes. I’m gonna go brush my teeth; I’ll be right back.”

She fled silently down the hallway, brushed her teeth in record time, and then stared in the mirror. Her hair was just her hair, nothing amazing or horrifying; no point trying to fix that before bed. Maybe…make-up?

“Kimber. What the hell?” she muttered. “You’re not seducing him, just be cool. Jeez. You can’t wear make-up to bed.”

She splashed cold water on her face, scrubbing her skin dry with a hand towel more forcefully than necessary. She gave her reflection another once-over and took a deep breath.

“You’re his choice, too,” she reminded herself. “Just chill.”

She found him exactly as she’d left him, completely relaxed on the bed, eyes still closed. She thought for a moment that he might have fallen asleep. Kimber wasn’t sure if she felt more disappointment or relief.

“You left in a little bit of a hurry,” he murmured, eyes still closed, and she started. “Everything okay?” She almost put him off, could feel the brush-off on her lips, but his eyes slid open, pinning her on the spot. She got the eerie sense that he would know, that he already knew she was trying to put on a front, and she deflated a little.

“I’m nervous,” she finally admitted. The heat in her cheeks turned up a few degrees, spreading down her neck, and she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “I’ve never...snuck a guy to my room before. I just...this is mostly new to me, but with you, I want...I don’t know.”

Without a word, Dean slid from the bed and crossed the room, his mesmerizing eyes never leaving hers. He stopped a few feet away and waited, his arms open. With the bed suddenly out of the equation, Kimber felt a hidden knot of anxiety untie in her chest. 

She let out a breath and stepped into his embrace, her arms circling his waist in a way that felt easy and right. Dean’s lips pressed a warming kiss to the crown of her head. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “This is your room, your space, but even if it wasn’t-” He paused, leaning back and brushing his thumb over her cheek. “Kimber, look at me.”

She did, and his earnest expression left no room to doubt his next words. It barely left room for breathing.

“ ‘M not here to make you feel uncomfortable or scared. I’m here because you want me to be. The second that stops, the second I make you feel something you don’t want, that’s it. Period. Does that work for you?”

His eyes, so plaintive and weathered in that moment, cut right to her heart. Never in her life had Kimber felt so safe, so protected, and so very sad. She couldn’t think of any words that lived up to the magnitude of what Dean had just said, so she simply squeezed him tighter, pressing her face against the side of his neck. 

“Can you stay?” she asked. She knew he had obligations, probably needed to get back to his brother or at least check in with his dad. She felt terribly selfish in her warm, safe house with her parents right down the hall. Still, she asked. 

“Yeah, I can stay for a while.” His smile, soft and open, laid her doubts to rest. They settled onto the bed, fumbling a little awkwardly to find a position they both liked. There was some bumping, mumbled apologies, until they finally sorted out a comfortable twist of limbs that didn’t set her heart beating out of her ribs or threaten to cut off blood flow to anything important. 

She relaxed by increments, her cheek resting on his collarbone. He hugged her close with his left arm, his right hand combing slowly through her hair over and over. The silence settled around them like a second blanket, soothing and heavy.

“What do you want to do when you finish school, Kimber? College?”

“Probably,” she murmured. “I don’t know specifically, but I like research.”

He snorted, and she poked him in the side.

“Shut up, you jerk, I do. And I like sharing the information. I like helping people. I don’t really want to be a teacher, but maybe I can find something where I can do all of that.”

Dean resumed combing her hair, having paused when she poked him, and they settled a little more closely together.

“Dean?”

“Mmm?”

She blinked slowly, sleep pulling at her eyelids. Her thoughts spun out languidly, losing their urgency as his warmth seeped through the thin fabric of her pajamas. 

“How about you?”

His answer came quickly, rehearsed and without thought. “Join the family business. Dad’s been training me for years. Don’t have a lotta choice, but I know I’ll be good at it. Was raised for it.”

Her fingers crept up, her eyes staying closed for longer and longer periods between blinks. She slid her thumb over his chin, just brushing the line of his bottom lip before sliding slowly up his jaw. 

His words weren’t emotionless, but they were automatic. There was so much he never said, and she hated to push him, afraid he would just leave or shut down, but…

“But what do you want?” She persisted, drowsiness interfering with her usual restraint. “Who do you want to be?”

He was silent for so long, she nearly gave in to fatigue. She drifted on the edge of unconsciousness, fingers stroking through the silky strands of hair behind his ears. She felt his face turn, his lips press against her wrist.

“I want...this,” he said. Even half-asleep, she couldn’t mistake the raw longing behind his words. “I want...I want to work a boring, regular job and come home to someone who missed me all day as much as I missed her. I want my kids to cannonball into my legs so hard they knock me over. I want…”

His words choked off, and she stilled her fingers against his cheek, waiting for him to continue.

“I want a house. No...I...when I was little, Dad would come home, and he would just...sweep Mom up sometimes, swing her around, when they weren’t fighting. Even when they were, he’d do it sometimes anyway just to get her to laugh.”

She felt his face shift beneath her hand, but his smile didn’t feel quite right, and she moved closer. His arm tightened around her back, and he smoothed the palm of his free hand down to cup her jaw.

“I want a home. I want to be a dad, a husband. I want a family.”

She felt childish, shallow next to the depth of his simple declaration. Dean wanted what she had, what she took for granted every day of her life. This was the first time he’d spoken of his mother, and though curiosity burned hot inside her, she didn’t dare ask further questions, afraid she’d break the spell of the moment.

Dean’s voice dropped until she could feel it more than hear it, his lips pressing softly against her forehead.

“I want to come home and hold someone until I fall asleep every night. I want to wake up to her and know that my whole day, every day, is gonna be just that, all over again.”

She lifted her face to his then, and in the darkness of her bedroom she could only just make out the barest lines of his features. Their noses brushed, his hand gently pulling at the back of her head, and their lips met. His cheek was damp under her fingertips, and her heart clenched. 

She pulled his head down, brushing her lips over the tears trickling down his cheekbones more by feel than by sight. Both his arms came around her then, pulling her against his chest as he buried his face in his hair. They breathed together, memorizing each others’ scents, heartbeats, rhythms as the night crept by. 

The moment didn’t pass so much as gradually relax until Kimber felt him shift beneath her, smoothly sliding her off his chest and down to the pillows. He kissed her temple, and her face automatically turned to his, chasing his lips. She felt him chuckle against her mouth.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I gotta go. Need to check on Sammy, make sure he got dinner, did his homework, all that mess. I’ll see you tomorrow. Walk you to school?”

She nodded, humming her agreement even as she blindly reached for him. Something soft brushed against her fingers, and she automatically pulled it down, cuddling against the fabric. 

“Hold onto that for me. I’ll get it back from you sometime.” She felt a kiss press to her forehead, and then the click of her door closing. She breathed in, Dean’s scent surrounding her as she slipped under again, his button-up shirt pillowed under her cheek and tangled in her fingers. 

…

To Be Continued...

#SPN #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #teen dean #teen sam #original character #original female character #fluff #angst #drama #all that good shit #they're so frickin cute #i might explode #also #teen dean might break my heart #keep saving that sam hug #he's right around the corner #you're going to love teen sam too #I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH

[daysswithyou]

Life’s a surprise

Characters: DAY6 Jae x OC

Genre: slice of life, humour, romance, fluff

Words: 2.7k

Description: When you’re sick and tired of the single life and life decides to surprise you a little

---

"Hey Y/N... I'm really sorry... I can't go out tonight, its date night with Sungjin." 

Not again. 

Masking your disappointment, you quickly chirped out a response to your friend on the other end. 

"It's alright then, you have fun with Sungjin. I'll see you another time."

You then ended the call before tossing your phone onto your bed and flopping down on it yourself afterward. 

You've wanted to catch up with your family or friends but everyone was rejecting you for the same reason: date nights. You've called at least 3 friends and your cousin but everyone seemed to have a significant other to spend time with. Even your parents were going out to catch a musical together. Literally everyone was having something going on for them - except you. 

 You've never had a love life since young and growing up, you've never had a problem with that. You've always thought that boyfriends were a waste of time and money - which was probably true for a student. But as you gradually blossomed into a beautiful young lady and all your peers began to have a significant other, you found yourself spending more time by yourself and it does get lonely, like now. Recently, you've even been entertaining thoughts about being left on the shelf - something completely out of character to you. As much as you hate to admit it, the thought of growing old alone does scare you terribly, as it does to many other people. All you wanted was to spend some time with family and friends (and maybe find a boyfriend), was that too much to ask for?

 After moping around on your bed for a few minutes, you decided that you would not waste away a good night just because you had no one by your side. 

 Well, a girl's gotta learn how to have fun by herself.

-

The moment you exited your car, all you could see were couples everywhere. Kissing, holding hands as they walked, coming together in the same colour scheme etc. Everything around you screamed 'couples!' and 'pairs!' and you stood like a sore thumb amongst the sea of lovers. However, you refused to let this deter you from achieving your purpose tonight. Lifting your chin up high and straightening your back, you walked tall and proud into the bar, your purposeful steps announcing your entrance. Choosing an outdoor seat facing the harbour to get a clear view of the evening sky, you declined the waiter’s offer of food and instead opted for a bottle of red wine instead. When the wine came, you took your time savouring the sweet alcohol in small sips. From the corner of your eye, you could make out a couple holding hands and giving one another kisses on the cheek. Was it so hard for a girl to not have to be reminded of her lack of a love life? Well, apparently not. Attempting to quench your frustration, you downed the next cup in one mouthful.

And then another,

And another,

And another.

By the time you got the end of the bottle, you were positively drunk. Having no rational control over your body, you walked out of the restaurant and onto the wharf without paying and when the waiter tried to chase after you, you pushed him away with an unusually good amount of force, leaving the waiter dumbfounded at your diminishing figure. That was when the waiter felt a firm hand being placed onto his shoulder, before a towering figure with spectacles turning out to be his saviour.

“I’ll pay for her bill – keep the change as a tip.”

Pressing a hundred dollar bill into his hand, Jae took after you.

-

Sashaying along the wharf in the cooling summer night, you began to let out a string of colour profanities from your lips, cursing the world and your terrible luck for leaving you without a boyfriend. When you finally got exhausted, you collapsed onto the ground in a heap, taking off your red heels and flinging them far, far away before curling up into a foetal position to bawl your eyes out.

“Hey, are you ok?”

Sniffling, you lifted your head from your arms, making eye contact with someone wearing thin, golden glasses and somewhere in your mind, you decided that the person in front of you was Harry Potter.

Letting a gasp escape your pink lips, you exclaimed this piece of information out loud to no one in particular.

“Harry Potter! I like your glasses!”

Reaching out, you pulled Jae’s glasses off his face before placing them on your own. The glasses were too big for the bridge of your nose and they kept slipping off but that did not deter you from looking up at Jae and giggling to him.

Shaking his head in disbelief as his lips cracked to form a smile, Jae could not believe what he was seeing right now. Were you even real? How could someone go from vulgar, sobbing mess to a giggling high school girl now? Jae could not believe the duality that existed within you and he blamed it on the alcohol as the cause of your haywire cognitive functions. Even with the smudged makeup and glasses that were too big for your face, he actually thought that you looked cute. But no matter how cute you looked, Jae knew that getting you home was of utmost importance.

“Hey erm… are you sober enough to tell me where you stay? I’m going to send you home – I can’t possibly leave you here.”

Alas, his words were clearly not registered and now, you were beginning to fiddle around with his glasses, muttering in broken sentences about how much you adore them.

“Never mind, I’ll help myself.”

Opening up your purse, he dug around for your identity card and finally got your address as well as your name.

Y/N huh? An interesting name for such an interesting character.

“Well, Y/N, let’s get you home now.”

Turning to face you, he realised that you were already asleep, your head leaning against the cool metal railing of the wharf. Letting out a deep sigh and light chuckle afterwards, Jae gently picked you up bridal style before retrieving your heels and purse, carrying you all the way into the passenger seat of your car as he took the wheel.

-

When your parents opened the door that night, to say they got a shock of their lives was an understatement. Never would they have expected a man to show up at the door step at midnight, much less one that was carrying their daughter. Being the dramatic person that she is, your mum had to say the most inappropriate thing in the world.

“Oh my god is she dead?”

Blinking rapidly, Jae licked his lips before replying.

“Eh, no she isn’t, she just had too much to drink. I know this looks really inappropriate and very misleading but may I?”

Opening the door a little wider, your dad led the way to your room and stayed in there till your mother chased him out and closed the door.

“What are you doing leaving them alone inside!”

“Letting them do their things of course!”

“What, are you insane?”

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to see her appear home with a man in tow! Now would you just shush!”

Pressing her ear against the door, she listened like a bat to find out what was happening in your room.

-

Back in your room, Jae had taken a wet towel to help you wipe your face whilst leaving your clothes intact. Placing the duvets over your figure, he then gently removed the glasses from your face and placed them by your bedside. With the illumination from the moon, Jae finally found a spare paper and pen.

When he exited the room, he found your parents staring back at him with hopeful expressions and he felt pressured to say something.

“Erm, I’ve put her in bed but she’s drank a lot so you might want to place some water and hangover medicine by her bedside. I’ll get going now.”

Jae then respectfully bowed before leaving your house, taking a taxi back to the restaurant to retrieve his car that he left behind.

-

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and you groaned out loud, earning more protests from your parched throat. Drinking the water slowly, the cool liquid brought your throat immense relief and you let out a sigh of relief. When the hydration slowly eased the pain in your head, you opened up your eyes and found out that you were in your room.

Wait, how did I get here? Wasn’t I at a restaurant last night? And whose glasses are these?

Carefully running your fingers across the thin rim of the glasses, you then picked up the note and read it carefully.

“Since you like my glasses so much, you can have them.

-Jae Potter”

War flashbacks of last night raced through your mind – getting drunk at the bar, running off without paying but more prominently, of a certain blonde hair male whom you now knew as Jae. Taking your pillow, you let out a muffled scream into it but of course, that did not go unnoticed to your mother.

Bursting into your room with her heavy ensemble of jewellery swaying around her, your mother stared at your wide-eyed before hurrying to your side.

“What’s wrong Y/N?”

“All I want to do is shrink into some corner right now…” You then proceeded to shake your head violently into your pillow, before your mum ripped it away from you.

“I’m proud of you last night honey.”

“What for?”

“For getting yourself a man!”

“Excuse me? How did you –”

“Do you really have no idea? A young man drove you home last night!”

“He has blonde hair.”

A nod.

“He was also really tall.”

Another nod.

It was confirmed: This person called Jae had drove you home last night and you had embarrassed yourself in front of him horribly. Throwing the covers over your face, you lay down on bed and pretended to sink into oblivion. Your mother then patted your stomach one last time before exiting your room, closing the door softly after her.

-

For the rest of the day, you stayed home, trying to recover from the hangover until your phone rang in the evening.

“Hey Y/N~”

“Finally you found enough time to call me.”

“Hey I was out with Sungjin~ but aren’t I calling you now?”

Accepting her cuteness that was her measly attempt to appease you, you got straight down to business.

“What is this about Emily?”

“I’ve prepared a double date for us tonight?”

“What? You know I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Yes I do, which is why I’m setting you up with one right now! I’ll text you the location and timing, see you tonight!”

Before you even had time to say anything, the line went dead and her messages came in instantly.

A map of a fancy Italian restaurant popped up with her message that read: See you tonight at 7pm! PS: I’m sure you’ll love him! ;)

It was already 5pm, and you knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer so you picked yourself off the couch to begin looking presentable. For some reason, you took the glasses along with you, your intuition telling you that you’ll need it later.

-

At 7pm on the dot, you walked into the restaurant in your red velvet dress before being waved over by Emily. From the corner of your eye, you could see someone else approaching your table – your supposed “date” for tonight.

“Y/N, I want you to meet –”

“Jae.”

In the background, you could hear her asking “How do you know his name?” but you were too lost in your own world to reply her. You caught Jae’s eye contact – his eyes seemed clearer now without his glasses. He then smiled, and you swallowed thickly, certain that he remembered every single detail from last night. By now, your cheeks were bright red and no amount of foundation would be able to mask your great embarrassment. Before you could flee the scene, you were brought back to reality by Emily shaking of your arm.

“You know Jae?”

Before you could explain the situation, Jae intervened in your behalf.

“Y/N and I are, in fact, pretty well-acquainted. Well, we’ll leave you and Sungjin to enjoy your time.”

Placing a gentle hand on your waist, Jae steered you out of the restaurant before letting go of you.

“Ladies first.”

Looking back at him, you then took a step forward and Jae then fell into tandem beside you as both of you walked further and further away from the restaurant. Silence enveloped the both of you for some time before you finally broke the ice.

“Here, your glasses.”

“Oh thank you.”

His long slender fingers came into contact with yours at that moment, sending sparks of electricity through your arm and causing you to shiver. Jae mistook that and thought that you were cold.

“Are you cold? Here, have this.”

Shedding his jacket, Jae carefully draped it over your shoulders, revealing a handsome maroon turtleneck beneath. You noted how both of you were wearing matching colours now, and you blushed a little at that thought.

“Thank you… and about last night, I’m terribly sorry. I had too much to drink and one thing led to the next. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright; I couldn’t possibly leave you so vulnerable out there. But I must admit, that was the most extensive vocabulary of curse words I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“That was…ah forget it.” You didn’t know how to explain your behaviour without revealing your desperation and you decided to just laugh it off with Jae, which, thankfully he did.

“Can I confirm something Y/N?”

“Sure.”

“You were feeling lousy about being single, right?”

“I have no defence against that – so yes.”

“I’ve got something that can work in both our favour.”

“What is it?”

“Go out for dinner with me one night? You can say it’s a date.”

You nodded your head ever so faintly, and Jae has never smiled so brightly in his entire life before.

One date turned into many more.

By the end of 1 year, you were officially no longer single.

By the end of the 3rd year, you were officially a married woman.

-

Epilogue

A ball bounced off your back and you turned over with your heavy belly, all ready to admonish your son for throwing things at you but when you finally saw the culprit, you rolled your eyes and let out a sigh of resignation.

Your husband Jae was holding brightly coloured balls from the play pen, a huge child-like grin spread out across his face. He was supposed to be playing with his son Adrian but 3 year old Adrian was now exhausted and sleeping on the couch, leaving his father to entertain himself in the play pen.

“I never knew these balls were so fun to play with Y/N! Can we get more of them?”

His loud voice had caused Adrian to fidget in his sleep and you immediately shot Jae a glare that effectively made him shut up. Walking over to you, you began chiding Jae.

“Really Jae, I don’t know who’s the kid sometimes – Adrian or you.”

“Aw come on honey, why do you have to be so mean?”

“Because you deserve it.”

Pregnancy hormones were at their peak now that you were near your due date, leaving you with a short fuse and Jae had to put up with your sharp tongue a lot these past few months.

But now, verbal abuse wasn’t enough – he even had to suffer physical abuse. You had gripped onto his forearm with such force that he howled in pain, causing Adrian to wake up.

Jae then had to bring both a crying son and mother in pain to the hospital where you gifted him with another precious child: a girl.

When he first got to hold her days later, he burst out sobbing in tears upon looking at the little bundle and you had to comfort your husband despite still being weak.

You never understood how you managed to fall for such a man but life always surprises you doesn’t it?

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