#like idk if it makes sense but . fuck y

[the-meme-monarch]

ut fangames as of late have had a lot of heart to them and they deserve all the praise they get but idk something makes me really defensive when people start saying "it's even Better than the game it's based on" like undertale get behind me

#and like its founded. poeple are usually talking abt how it plays and its mechanics. im just one of those weird autistics thats reall #thats really protective of the source material GDHSHSHDJSB like dont talk about grandpa like that #i kind of bristle at the assertion that ut y is canon. bc no it isnt #it is an incredibly good fangame but it Is a fan game #it especially bothers me when poeple say 'toby even said it was canon' bc no the fuck he didnt ? no he did not #like i think i like tsunderswap more bc its not trying to fill in any blanks if that makes sense #idk my only Real complaint abt ut y is that clover shouldve had more time with toriel #AGAIN UT Y IS #A GOOD GAME. ITS A REALLY GOOD GAME AND DESERVES ALL ITS PRAISE

[anonbinaryweirdo]

what is going on with my shoulder pls stop this madness im sobbing

#youve been hurting since. #IDK WHEN #BUT KNOCK IT OFF #did i do something to it????? #not that i recall. #i cant use you for even a minute before you starting hurting os badly #im not getting it checked out thou <//3 #but it HURTS. #i remember iw as literally just typing vi something out a few days ago #and had to stop because my shoulder started killing me #i was TYPING. #WHAT DOES TYPING DO TO MAKE YOU GO INTO PAIN #literally wriitng her a love letter then my shoulder says fuck you and dies #like what the hell #crying and its y left shoulder #i sleep on either my back or on y right side so this makes no sense???? #i lost my pencil im about to go insane hold on #oli rambles

[kennabeth]

I do not understand the mindset of "the co//smere eventually being so interconnected that you have to read older books before you can read newer ones is bad" because like cmiiw is that not how series usually work

#like i do personally think reading sla last of the main cosmere series is the most fun route #bc characters from other books love fucking around with roshar more than any other planet and the easter eggs are so much fun #and it has more easter eggs than any other #but not understanding the cosmere-wide significance of the thaidakar reveal nor recognizing vasher and vivenna under their pseudonyms #does not make the series unenjoyable. you know #like other fantasy series love dropping hints of some spectulative people like the iriali in scadrial #or theyll reference ancient or distant wars and then never follow up on it #why is it bad that you CAN follow up on these things by reading other books #i dont think it's bad that you kind of have to read the mistborn eras in order so that they make sense #i dont see a problem with sunlit being completely unintelligible if you dont read stormlight first #you can read stormlight all the way through and never touch another cosmere book and still get the full experience of the story yk! #fantasy just usually doesnt give you the option of finding all the answers to made up worlds if you read enough #are we spoiled that we do have that option? idk idk! #fantasy books will say some shit like 'the king over the sea did X and Y thousands of years ago #mistborn says 'the lord mistborn did X and Y hundreds of years ago' #but with mb you can just go read about that it's not a problem to me #says kenna

[iguessigotta]

this is pure self-indulgence because I just got back from spending all day between urgent care and the ER haha woooo literally 8am - 7pm yeah we're having fun in hereeeee (don't worry they think they figured it out and tbh it's more stupid than life threatening and I wanna punch my own self for almost keeling over because of this lmao) smh my head @ my own body

Sighing heavily, you flopped down on the couch, not even bothering to take off your shoes. Dark was right on your heels, pausing to shut the door and set your bag down in the entryway. You closed your eyes, slouched down low and sunk into the cushions, letting out an unhappy sound when you realized being too lazy to remove your shoes meant you couldn't toss your feet up on the cushion next to you.

Today sucked.

There was a quiet brush of fabric, along with the telltale ringing that accompanied your boyfriend, as he walked into the living room and stopped by the couch. Without a word, he knelt down and started removing your shoes and socks.

"Dark? What are you doing?" you grumbled, cracking one eye open to look at him, noting the slight upturn of the corner of his mouth.

He hummed and placed your things off to the side before planting a kiss on your knee. "No shoes in the house," he paused to look you in the eye, "wasn't that your rule?"

"Oh, haha," you said through a huff, rolling your eyes so hard you thought they'd fall out. Dark let out a huff of his own - one that sounded suspiciously like a laugh - before he lifted your legs and set them on the couch. While you sat there confused - comfortable, but confused, he walked to your small kitchen and out of your line of sight. You frowned and went to sit up a bit so you could be nosy and see what he was doing, but he stopped you with a sharp "Ah. Stay where you are."

You frowned even harder. How the hell did he know you were trying to get up when he couldn't see you? When Dark came back into the room, a small tray of food and drink in his hand, you were still half-sitting, frown stuck on your face. He raised an eyebrow at you but didn't say anything as he set the tray down on the small table next to the couch.

"How do you do that?" you asked, folding your legs up to give Dark space to sit down with you, "It's like you can see me even when you can't."

This time you were sure he actually did laugh. "There are many things you don't know about me," he said, a smile audible in his voice, as he pulled your legs into his lap, "Is it really so far-fetched to think I might be able to keep an eye on you at all times?"

The look he gave you made heat flood your face at the implication.

Letting out another faint chuckle, Dark turned towards the tv, which had at some point been turned on and tuned to one of your favorite movies. He kept his hands on your legs, running them up and down, pausing every now and then to give a light squeeze. You could feel his eyes on you, watching for any signs of distress of discomfort, though every time you looked a him, his gaze would be so focused on the movie that you started to doubt that feeling of being watched.

It would have been annoying if you didn't understand why he was acting so worried over you.

You'd spent all day in the ER after finally caving and seeking help for a health issue that had been making your life hell the past few months. It was a drawn-out, expensive process, but by the end of it they'd found what they had reason to believe was the root cause. They'd given you packet after packet of info, a prescription, and a pat on the back, sending you on your way. Straight into the arms of your boyfriend, who was doing his best to appear calm for you. The louder-than-normal ringing had given him away though.

And so here you found yourself, reclining sideways on the couch, a mountain of pillows between your back and the armrest, legs in Dark's lap, half-watching one of your favorite movies. A sigh - content this time - escaped you, earning another light squeeze to your leg, and a small smile on Dark's lips.

It had been rough going the past few months, your health had been causing both of you quite a bit of stress, but you were finally on the mend, that was all that mattered.

#darkiplier x reader #darkiplier fluff #darkiplier x gn!reader #darkiplier x y/n #purely self indulgent #it's been A Few Months with this nonsense #stressed and sick but now......hey I got antibiotics and my mom bought me some grapes and sandwiches so fuck yeah #anyway idk if this drabble really makes any sense #cause I just had part of that first line pop into my head and I ran with it #yknow #instead of doing my like 20+ requests i have in my inbox lmao rip

[vivisols]

me when I come up with the greatest fucking idea ever but its too entwined in my oc nonsense to be applicable to a y/n fic

#im brainstorming what i should write after claw at the stars and my first thought was “oh why not take an oc story and make it a y/n fic” #and then my first thought for that was to maybe use z to a (my beloved dca x oc story i think about every day) only to realize #“how the fuck am I gonna make this applicable to a potential reader insert” bc literally the plot only really works With my silly ocs #like the world is soooo built but at the same time its built for my ocs!!!! i cant make a y/n outta that without so many modifications!!!!! #ah well i might upload a Drabble of it or something as an interest check who knows... #like how does one do “dying and coming back as an animatronic but without 90% of your memories” as a sufficiently blank y/n to project onto #i could think of something or i could just give up and think of something else (i am going to give up and think of something else) #idk does any of this make sense to anyone other than me or #vivispeaks

[alpaine]

thoughts on pierresteban sex pollen? 🎤

otmar's googling this furiously as we speak trying to figure out if it's the solution to his drivers' unresolved tension

#honestly i haven't thought about the sex pollen trope in a long ass time lmaoooo #i liked it a lot when i read it in star trek fic? #i think it's great for getting characters over the hurdle and just having them do it already #but tbh for pierre and esteban i like them to be tortured and agonizing and slow burn-y about their desire to fuck each other #so i think i personally would prefer stories where they have to choose to do it #rather than not having a choice #idk if that makes sense #ask tag

[rubberbandballqueen]

since i just rb'd a poll abt high school grades now's probably a good time to drop one of my many million-dollar ideas for how to run a high school classroom, which is that i think that at the start of a quarter/semester kids should be asked if they want hw to count towards their grades or not bc i was So Fucking Bad at submitting hw in high school, but my test scores were really good, so i'd rather have not had hw count towards my grades. but obviously there are a good number of kids who are either bad at taking tests or anxious abt their grades dropping and are diligent abt turning in hw, so letting hw count towards their grades would give them some padding in that situation.

#i really Do need to just maintain a doc of all my ideas for how to run a classroom #bc i've been storing some of these in my brain since i was like 12. that's a fucking decade by this point What the hell #the worm speaks #unfortunately it's probably unfeasible to Not have tests n the like count towards a grade at all #like personally as a student i do not hate testing!! as someone who enjoys gathering data / information i'm kind of obsessed w/it!!! #but i also have very strong opinions on TEST DESIGN as well as curriculum design n stuff #like tests CAN be a useful tool for measuring knowledge! if you design it right. and even then it's like. not perfect #one of my other million dollar ideas is that rather than giving out a final i'd give kids the choice to either do like #a freeform project to demonstrate their knowledge in literally Any Way They Want (foster creativity n stuff) #or! they could also just take a paper exam if they want. idk if anyone would take that option but idk. #mostly i'm just fond of the idea of giving high school students a sense of autonomy over their grades n education #like another reason why i think the 'do you want hw to count to your grades?' question should be re-asked at the start of quarters or w/e #is bc sometimes we also make mistakes! and evaluate consequences wrong. or situations change!! so they should be allowed to change things #how much would hw count for if they made it worth anything is honestly not smth i'm sure abt rn tbh #but i also know that i like. would also not even grade their hw on correctness just on completion anyway #a number of my high school teachers did that; bc the point was that we were responsible for ensuring its correctness #they all knew that kids would copy off each other and if that's how you learn. go for it!! my ap calc teacher openly acknowledged this!!! #anyway good lord i really do have limitless rants n tedtalks abt education in me lmao i need to sleebies now #so i can study for my calc quiz tmrw morning ( •̀ ω •́ )y

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so thinking abt my inability to do things in thr context of my 0cd is interesting. bc i would say my primary problem is my obsessive #compulsive behavior and inflexibility. idk if thr inflexibility is inherent to me bc its part of the reason i got stamped with aut1sm or but #its part of what maked it so hard to tell if i had 0cd or not. bc im just so fucking rigid and structured abt literally everything without #any reason. y do i have to do X thing and i cant do Y thing? idk my brain just says i cant. which kinda does align with 0cd more or just #like something compulsive. and its sorta weird bc i think im a lot more aligned with purely obsessional 0cd. so i dont do a lot of external #ritual. its more abstract. like constantly i have to work or b perfect or else i start getting intrusive thoughts. always thr same ones. and #to make them go away i have to physically suffer usually thru overworking to my mental breaking point or sometimes more direct ways #when its really bad. and then i have to keep working. and i do a lot of fucking ruminating. fucking constand catogorizing and pathological #self reflection. again i have high standards and high affinity for self punishment which is a lot to deal with. its exhausting and misery #making. and the annoying thing is that im like this for a reason. i mean it makes sense. having a learning disability plus bad short term #working memory plus some mood weirdness. ive created a structure that makes me productive but also creates so much pressure thst i cant #function at all sometimes. and whats worse is that even then even with the amount of checking i do i am still a master of fucking up the lil #things. i forgot to write my name in the autoclave list and caused problems for ppl bc i forgot when i went up there Even tho i new i needed #to. i also forgot to put thr foam cap on a liquid nitrogen tank which would have been SO FUCKING BAD if it all evaporated. so many samples #woulf have been lost bc i just fucking forgot to put it back. that was just this week. idk i just forget things like that. i left a freezer #door open in hs and we lost everything in the freezer. i also fucked up an whole experiment by not reading a schedule right. and its really #frustrating not being able to trust that youve done the right thing in the past. not to mention all the bullshit i mislabel but thats more #dys1exia realated. alas. i check and check and get anxious spikes of: FUCK DID I DO X? for a reason. but also its no fun #unrelated

[maschotch]

truly do not understand jemily. emily prentiss?? pining?? sittin on her ass dreaming ab over small town, conservative, repressed, nuclear family, mormon jj?? first of all she has taste, secondly yall act like she doesnt go to a gay bar every night w morgan and garcia to fuck and get fucked

#emily just… isnt the pining type #idk i feel like ppl mischaracterize emily all the time for their ships #w jemily its all ‘wahh im so sad married/closeted jj wont fuck me’ #w hotchniss theyre always tryna get her pregnant #like. NO #thats not who she is #she’s not some shy little princess waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet #people will just completely disregard her personality and use her as a self insert #you could probably take 80% of all hotchniss/jemily fics out there and replace emily w y/n and it would make so much more sense #the only jemily dynamic is jj pining after emily #the only hotchniss dynamic is ?? nothing?? just two guys hangin out?

[genderfreakxx]

If people could stop using the term “transmasc” as synonymous with “trans man” that would be fucking phenomenal.

#I’m transitioning because I want to have more masculine traits just by default #but I don’t consider myself a binary trans man. the binary makes no fucking sense to me. fuck the binary #this is I think why I feel so sad when people get angry at ‘transmascs’ for relating to and having gender envy over Gerard way #because I absolutely have gender envy over Gerard- but it has fuck all to do with ‘being a man’ #Gerard isn’t binary. they don’t like labels but they’ve expressed admiration for they/them pronouns and said ‘I’ve always liked he/they’ #and they do a hell of a lot of relating to she/her pronouns and girls in their music #no fucken part of me is envious of Gerard in a Man Way™ #because neither of us are binary Masc-y McMascerson men #I admire g for their entire vibe in every way they’ve presented it to us #just because I’m transmasc doesn’t mean I only admire men. I’m nonbinary #I admire queer people in every form. I’m hesitant to call g queer because idk how they feel about it #but you get what I mean #if Gerard came out as a trans woman tomorrow I would still have gender envy for them. I have gender envy over cis women sometimes ffs #I love them (parasocially yada yada) however they identify. I love them even more because they hate fucken labels. ME TOO #I just love the way they put themselves out there. #I’ve just seen a lot of folks hating on transmascs for relating to Gerard and I think it’s a misunderstanding tbh #it’s all pure love and admiration and inspiration #I can’t speak for everyone but I would never want to push a label on G when they clearly fucken hate it. #that being said; I think the way they express themselves and the art they create is inspiring as hell!! #for me gender envy goes deeper than just surface level aesthetic sometimes #wow this has been a rant. and idk if I’ve even gotten my point across actually #oh well! #gender #blithering on

[chryzure-archive]

actually, i’m still thinking abt a) that one post that mentioned that op dislikes the trope of “s/o out of control via a curse or other magic trickery and they are scary and want to hurt you, but you love them enough that you break them out of it” and b) the convo juno and i had about fantasy using abusive / assault-esque situations in an attempt to come off as romantic or dedicated or whatever, and i’m thinking about how……. it’s more effective when a curse like that immediately breaks the moment the person they love is in danger. because they love you—why would the person you love ever, ever make you scared of them? why would they ever hurt you? even with magic involved, you matter more to them than anything….. they would never, ever cause you harm or make you uncomfortable or anything.

idk, jst bugs me that novels (ya, especially) have a very casual approach towards consent—that they wave away bc of magic and fantastical elements—when really… you can have all of those and have it still be a healthy and consensual relationship. they act like the s/o hurting someone bc they’re under a curse is alright, bc that was just the curse! it wasn’t them! yeah, and if they beat their lover bc they’re intoxicated, that’s fine too, right?

#obviously there’s a difference between inadvertently writing these situations (bad. reevaluate your relationships and idea of romance) #and INTENTIONALLY writing them (bc you know what’s going on and you’re not endorsing abuse….) #but idk. thinking of that first trope wrt the bone witch and how kalen was under a spell and told to hurt tea #but he didn’t do it bc he would never ever under ANY circumstance hurt her #like!!! that’s what i mean!!!!! that’s a relationship where you feel there is TRUST #that’s why when azure is in beast form and is dangerous—he would never hurt chrysi bc there is trust there #he loves her and he instinctively knows that #am i coming across clearly? idk if i’m making sense or if this is a ramble #but i’ve been rlly bugged by this situation ESP in oua//bh #like that scene is kinda fucked up when you realize there was no trust or consent. it was scary. it was assault #i was talking to my friend and she said it was kinda hot right? then i said ‘idk. it felt like he was assaulting her and it was p uncool’ #and she stopped and reevaluated it and went ‘…oh my god you’re right’ #yep! i know i am! none of those ‘jacks sexy scenes’ are sexy… they’re just creepy and have assault-y overtones #anyway. i’m stepping down from my soap-box #memorie.txt #assault tw #<- since i discuss it in this post p heavily

[cocotine]

i barely have any sense of self anymore beyond like. being lazy/tired and not wanting to do things.

i know the self is an intangible and abstract concept but im trying to decide what class i would be in bg3 (this is a really stupid reason to have an existential crisis i know) and i can't settle on anything bc i don't really know who i am or what im like anymore beyond my shortcomings and weaknesses. which sounds stupid but it's upsetting when something that's supposed to be a fun hobby becomes a source of despair because i can't stop ruminating and i can't enjoy the game bc im thinking of how inadequate i am. maybe this is why people play as characters that aren't themselves BUT I NEED TO SELF INSERT i need to. idk

#it keeps coming down to storm sorcerer bc i was born right before a big ice storm irl and im always cold and i get static shocks rly often #and i have very strong emotions and a bad temper sometimes that kind of works with like. storm theme #and i can't see myself learning to fight/kill without necessity or studying spells since wizardry is kind of like the science of that world #but then im like well wtf makes me think id be so special to be born with a magic gifts. im nobody #and a couple of friends said they'd see me as a bard and i do want some healing/support spells #but i dont really like the whole music thing w bards it feels... theater kid-y? idk volo ruined bards for me lol hes so fucking annoying #as well as the bard dialogue options from my current playthrough. they're all kind of lame #ranger is out bc spells are wisdom based and i dont wanna pick a Favoured Enemy my favoured enemy is no enemy thanks #i did a quiz and it gave me rogue but idk. i guess i can see myself sneaking around and i do a lot of sneaking around ingame but idk #im going for charisma and dex/int as my main stats yes i KNOW i should invest in constitution but it is simply not accurate for me #maybe ill do. 8 sorc 4 rogue....or something....i kind of just want bonus action dash from rogue and a crossbow for non-magic dmg #i really don't think im smooth enough to be a rogue though #my only sense of self is all the ways in which im inadequate lmao #blabber

[lecliss]

As upsetting as it was for me to learn that Cid and Vincent aren't party members in rebirth, and not even guests like Red was, I'm actually pretty glad about it now. I'm 63% of the way through the game and still have to leave the Gongaga Region, do Cosmo Canyon, and then get to Nibelheim and make it to the room Vincent is in in the mansion before he even so much as exists basically. That actually does leave very little of the game left to even use him if he were a full party member, let alone Cid who should be joining a whole region later. I think I would be much happier to have them for what could be considered longer at the start of part 3 rather than getting them two-thirds into rebirth and not having much time to enjoy them to their fullest. Plus it means even more time to let Square cook with Vincent's transformations.

#also considering how you dont meet yuffie until actuallu getting to junon and she doesnt JOIN until after costa del sol #AND cait didnt join until leaving corel prison. it would make sense that cid and vincent wouldnt officially join until a bit after when they #would in the original #which would mean even less time to use them if they were playable #however on the other hand i do think it might diminish the hike up mount nibel where the boss there is designed to fuck you over if you use #vincent without knowing about its element beforehand #i feel like as a constant vincent user in the og thats a vital experience that should be included in that part but i guess thats only #if you actually get and/or use vincent in the og. but idk. idk how the scene will go in rebirth since im obviously not there yet #for all i know maybe we do see vincent transform. i have no idea how involved he gets since i think i remember an interview saying #cid and vincent will show up for vital moments??? #idk if thats accurate. could mean they act in independantly doing their own thing or they maybe its wrong and they travel with you #but obviously just dont engage in combat #idk idk im scared now. i want them to be there the whole time!!! i dont want them to miss moments!!!! ANY MOMENTS #I LOVE BRINGING VINCENT ALONG TO ROCKET TOWN IM WORRIED HE WONT BE THERE FOR THAT #WHAT IF CID AND VINCENT DONT EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER! #OH GOD NO. IM FUCKING SCARED. I WANTED MIDDLE AGED MAN Y@01!!! WHAT IF IM NOT GETTING IT!?!?!? AAAAAAAA #rebirth spoilers #personal

[fivefeetfangirl]

The exam rules are so confusing I'm so scared I'm gonna get expelled

#reading about people who quoted their own works and not write it as a source like apa7 style etc and got expelled for a year!!!! #idk what i would do with myself if i got expelled from all universities in the country for a year #also the place where you send in a complain just got under fire for illegaly letting the leader sit for a third period 🙃 #AND MY EXAM THIS YEAR WILL DEFINITELY BE ONE WHERE I HAVE TO Y #TO* QUOTE MYSELF!!!im so scared i will fuck up lol #like. are we not allowed to have the same thought twice lmao it doesnt make sense