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antiyourwokehomophobia2 · 2 days

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Man, this pisses me off so bad. If you're a woman who relates more to males than other women, it's because you've decided to focus more on how you're different from other women rather than how you're like them. You will literally never have more in common with males, and males do not feel the same way about you. These cute little posts that you write about how you love males more than your fellow women? They do not write the same thing about you. They hate and mock you constantly. Anyone remember "Cis women need to shut up"

"As a cis woman, I agree"

"You need to shut up, specifically"

Yea, that's how they feel about you and your solidarity.

The difference between lesbians and trans women in female spaces is the fact that lesbians do not have high rates of violence. There is no group of women that outclass men in terms of violent tendencies. Trans women retain the rates of male violence that regular men do. I'm not saying you have to treat trans women like they're all violent beasts, but if you can't see why female people would be uncomfortable with male people in their spaces, you're either naive or genuinely unsympathetic towards the very real fear that women have of being subjected to male violence. You can't say trans women and lesbians are similar because, unlike males, there is no statistical evidence that lesbians are highly likely to take advantage of a woman. If it turned out that 98% of rapes were committed by lesbians, I would 1000% understand why straight women don't fucking want to be around me. Have some fucking empathy, holy fucking shit. Even if you are completely on board with trans women being in female spaces, at LEAST acknowledge that it makes sense for women to be concerned about who is allowed in their spaces. It's crazy how I could tell someone I have a fear of dogs because one bit me when I was a kid, and they'd put their sweet pooch up, but God forbid a woman be cautious around a demographic who commit 90% of all violent crime. Oh no. That woman is suddenly a terf bitch.

I have nothing in common with trans women. I don't care how much pain they have experienced. We are not the same. When I was twelve, I cried and I cried as I put my palms together to pray to a God I hoped would be able to take away my homosexuality. I didn't even grow up in a particularly homophobic family. Both of my parents were accepting of me, but I still sat in the dark of my room, tears streaming down my face, as I prayed to have my sexuality changed.

Two years later, one of my friends made a joke about me dressing to impress my crush. She said my crushes name---a feminine name. A girl sitting in earshot heard her, turned to me, and asked me with disgust if I was gay. I said no without even thinking about it. It absolutely did not help that we were in a locker room with other girls. I was aware of my sexuality by that point, but I was 14 and unable to hold my own against a girl looking at me like THAT. For a few weeks after that, that girl made comments about how she was "watching me".

I know pain, I know discomfort, I know what it's like to feel predatory. Seeing feminine women, especially if they're white, makes me feel like an alien. I look at them and think "how are we so different? I see none of myself in you."

Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes we're not similar at all. But guess what? That doesn't mean I'm similar to a straight male. Fucking hell, sometimes I'm not similar to other lesbians. That's completely normal. I think OP needs to read better work by cishet women. If you think that there is not a single piece of cishet female writing that can move you more than something written by a male, you're not looking in the right places at all. I don't understand why some LB women seem to think that the very act of someone being a straight woman makes them incapable of relatability. Of course it makes sense for you to be cautious. Lesbians deal with a lot of alienation and predatory feelings, but if the very ACT of a woman being cis and straight makes you feel like she has absolutely nothing in common with you...? The issue lies with you. YOU are the one othering THEM. Not the other way around. You're the one who has decided that a few cis straight women othering you means that they ALL will so you'd better beat them to the punch. You're the one who has decided that your relationship to womanhood is so astronomically different from straight women that nothing they say speaks to you. That's INSANE. Do you realize how much you have to alienate yourself from womanhood to feel more relatability with a male person than a female one? Idk how to tell you this, but it is highly probable that the most cis, most het woman you have ever met has had a period. It's highly likely she's been harassed by a man. It's highly likely she's been made to feel inferior by way of being born female. No, they can't relate to the experience of being a lesbian who is made to feel predatory for no reason, but to say that nothing a cis het woman says/experiences can move you at all? Nothing they say can make you feel like your experience with womanhood and hers are similar? Do you realize how you sound? "Trans women have been harassed by men and made to feel inferior, too!!" Okay! So you should be able to relate to cis women in the way you do trans women, right?

I told my discord server that I was nervous about my future roommates. I showed them photos and someone said "all this tells me is that they're feminine and white" and I literally think about that all of the time. I was projecting. I was so scared that these white, feminine, probably straight women were going to judge me for being a black lesbian that I didn't even realize that I was the one violently judging them based off of nothing but their skin color and their femininity. I knew nothing about them. I STILL know nothing about them. I've barely spoken to them. But already I had labeled them as unrelatable judgemental women because of how they looked. Hold on. Wasn't I the one afraid of them judging ME? How could I be so afraid of them judging me for being a black lesbian when I was the one judging them already? What sense does that make?

You guys are so busy writing off cis straight women as unrelatable bigots that you've failed to see that you're the one who is extremely prejudiced against them. And I absolutely fucking know someone is gonna read this and say "well, you can't say that all trans women have male violence patterns and dahdahdahdah" and it's like. But YOU can say that cis straight women are so unbelievably different from lesbian women that you'd rather say you're more similar to a straight up fucking male???

I'm not saying it's not a little jarring to see women who are so different from me. I'm not saying I haven't been burned before and there's no reason for me (or other lesbians) to be cautious. But I will literally ALWAYS have more in common with cishet women than I ever will a man pretending to be a woman.

One time I had a professor. She was on the older side (I'd say 40's) and white. Not the type of person I'd think I'd click well with. She was straight and married with children. One day we talked after class, and the only thing that ended our conversation was the fact she had an event she had to go to. We would've talked longer if not for that. She emailed me a little while later to tell me that she enjoyed our chat. After that, she actually hugged me on two occasions. You wouldn't think we'd have common ground. An older, straight, married white mother and a young black lesbian. Both of us are "cis" but I can tell you I relate to her much better than I ever could someone born male.

I once had a personal trainer who was a feminine woman. She had acrylic nails and everything. One time she said that she couldn't hug her male friends anymore because she had a boyfriend (he wasn't the one enforcing that rule. That was something she personally felt). Also not someone I thought I'd click well with. But we did. One time we had a really productive discussion that was actually derived from the conversation with my professor. I felt very close to her in that moment. Our conversation came to a close because she had another client, but I still think about that convo.

There have been so many fucking times where I thought "this woman is not like me. Look at her." But what I realized was that I was the judgmental one. I was the one deciding we were different, not her. I was the one writing her off. I was the one convinced we had nothing in common.

I am BEGGING you not to alienate your fellow women. There are no inherent traits that make you unable to relate to other women. No amount of whiteness or cisness or straightness can make a woman completely unreachable. I am NOT talking about political parties or views so don't fucking try me with that shit. Obviously that puts a wedge between people, but someone simply being born cis and het does not make them alien from you. For God's sake, look at the fucking MeToo movement. Women from all fucking backgrounds who share an experience that an unfortunate amount of women go through. Women from all different races, sexualities, etc. who came together to talk about how they've been subjected to sexual violence. Ellen degeneres was one of them. How does that fit into your "lesbians and cishet women cannot relate to each other" spiel?

OP's post has 130k notes and it makes me fucking sick. Holy crap y'all, we need more solidarity than this. Other women are not your enemy. I'm begging you to reconsider your approach to women who are different than you. You are missing out on people who can love and support you in a way that literally no male can. You are depriving yourself. Just because a few cishet women in the past alienated you, does not mean that you have to continue their legacy. Let it go. Everyone on earth can see you embracing your hatred of women, and you wonder why your fellow women never hug you? They fucking can't! Put your hatred down and make space for the love that comes with realizing that you absolutely are like other girls!

#You guys think you're so progressive but you're just in a woke version of not like other girls #Stop comparing lesbians to literal males #Jesus fucking Christ #I actually hate you guys so fucking much #I'm never telling anyone I'm gay every again bro #I hate all of you #I should've prayed to be asexual man #Maybe god would've taken me more seriously

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coryothesub · 1 day

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Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*

Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't...

nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader

You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.

He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.

“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.

“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”

Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.

“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”

“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.

You approached her and stood dangerously close.

“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.

You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”

“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.

You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.

“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”

“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.

You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.

“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.

Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.

It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.

You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.

“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”

The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.

“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.

“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”

You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.

“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.

You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.

Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.

You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.

“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”

“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.

“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”

Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.

Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.

You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.

Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.

You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.

Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.

“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.

The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.

You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.

You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet.

After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.

“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.

“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.

You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.

“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”

#thank you for the ask #coriolanus snow #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #thg #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #thg tbosas #blurb #cts ask

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groenendaelfic · 2 days

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I have quite literally not stopped thinking about the basket baby snippet since you posted it! I'm happy to wait but can I be cheeky and ask for any more tidbits, how ever tiny, about the basket baby fic? Like baby name reveal, another snippet, chapter 2 outline...anything at all please I will give you my first born child! (I am amypond on ao3 btw - happy for you to publish this ask)

ah basket baby! Thank you for not forgetting, and of course you can always ask. I love basket baby. One day it will even be born. Why oh why can't I write fic full time, I would be so much more productive and efficient 😅

For a few very foolish seconds Simon considers naming the baby Wilhelm.

He loves Wilhelm and he misses him, can't imagine what he must have been going through this past year, alone safe for the very much not amused Royal Court, no doubt at some estate hidden away in the countryside, not even allowed the familiarity of his own rooms.

He also hates Wilhelm. For not finding a way to tell him, to have them be together, because surely, surely it can't be that impossible, can it?

Except of course it can. Simon's mom was accosted by Royal Court lawyers at work, and that was them being nice. It is exactly that impossible.

Tears spring to his eyes. He can't name the baby Wilhelm. It'd hurt to much. It'll hurt anyway, holding the baby in his arms, knowing it's the only part of Wilhelm he'll ever get to hold again.

He already loves the child more than his own life, and the more he looks at the tiny, scrunched up face getting ready to cry, the more he can see Wilhelm reflected in it.

He shifts his grip, pulls the baby closer and hums a melody he hopes is soothing. He can't name the baby Wilhelm. The baby is not Wilhelm, and it deserves better, deserves its own name. One which isn't a constant reminder of its unreachable parent.

Not that he'd be allowed. No matter how popular the name Wilhelm in all its forms has remained in Sweden ever since Wilhelm was born. The Royal Court would not allow it, and Simon can't risk angering them before the baby isn't officially his and he has the paperwork to prove it.

So not Wilhelm then, he thinks, as the baby bursts into tears. Simon would give anything to be able to cry along, to crumble and break, but he's a father now and his child comes first, even if he has no clue what to do.

He just put on a fresh diaper with the patient help of his mom and it can't be time for another bottle.

"He can sense that you're upset," his mom explains when he asks, and oh doesn't that suck.

He doesn't put the baby back in its basket however, nor does he hand it to his mom. Instead he cuddles it closer and starts humming again.

His precious, precious child. His and Wilhelm's.

A tear rolls down his face. He's hurt and angry and scared, hating the Royal Court and the world and everything for being so absolutely, thoroughly unfair.

Everything except his baby, who is innocent and beautiful and perfect.

It didn't ask to be born, and certainly not into a family like this, to a legacy like this. The monarchy is not its only legacy however, and suddenly Simon knows what he's going to call it.

Not a Swedish name. Nothing to tie it to the long line of ancestors who want nothing to do with it. Not Carl or Magnus or Gustav. Not Erik either, or at least not as a first name.

Something Spanish. Something to ensure his child will never consider itself an unwanted royal bastard too embarrassing to be acknowledged.

Something powerful. A reminder that he is also part Venezuelan, and that that is something to be proud of.

Yes. He'll name the baby after his maternal grandmother. There is no person living or dead he can think of who is stronger or more determined in the face of hardship than his abuela.

It will make her happy, it will make him happy, and if royals can do it, then he can do it, too. Only better and with less toxicity, less historical baggage to weigh it down.

He'll make sure no one will ever compare his precious baby boy to anyone. Will ensure he'll get to pave his own path however he wants. He loves his child, his and Wilhelm's, and whatever he can do to keep it safe he will.

"Alejandro," he tells his mother, and because he can't ignore Wilhelm's one single request adds, "Alejandro Erik Eriksson."

For a moment he considers using the Spanish version for Erik as well, if only out of spite, but that wouldn't be fair to Wilhelm. That, and it would remind him too much of his mom's favorite singer.

His mother bites her lip and nods.

It's the right choice. The only choice, and Simon can only hope little Alejandro will think so, too.

#basket baby #ask me anything #young royals #wilmon #fic snippet #young royals fic

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7ndipity · 3 days

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Get to know me

Thanks to @bethanysnow for tagging me!

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

Bts and Stray Kids! There's several groups that I love, but these two hold a very special place in my heart💜

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

I don't quite remember for Bts, but I'm pretty sure it was Namjoon. I was really drawn to his general style and aesthetic, as well as his solo work like Mono.

For Skz, it was Hyunjin, bc gifs of him kept popping up in my recommendations after the 'Oh' mv was released and I got curious and checked them out. So it's basically his fault for bringing me into this fandom, lol!

❣ Who was your first bias?

Yoongi and Chan

❣ Who is your current bias?

Yoongi and Chan(lol)

❣ What makes them your bias?

For Yoongi, he's the grandpa to my grandma energy, lol! Fr tho, I think it's bc he's so genuinely himself?? Like I love his dry humor, his writing style, his awkward tsundere energy, despite having such a soft heart🥺. Like, I will never understand how people think he's cold or indifferent, he's such a kind, loving person. I really admire his drive and passion for music, he's one of the people who inspired me to take back up writing. Idk, it's just everything.

For Chan, he's just super sweet and funny, and he clearly cares so much for everyone around him, from his group members to their crew/staff to the fans. He's also just soo relatable, and I really admire his dynamic with the fans, he feels like a best friend. I also really appreciate his honesty on tougher topics like self love and mental health. He's brought me so much comfort on tough days and makes me want to be a better person. Again, Idk, he's just Chris💜

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

Literally EVERY OTHER MEMBER of both groups, lol! Like it's impossible not to love all of them!

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

For Skz, Minho(I blame @bethanysnow for helping fuel this lol) and a bit Han(the new curly hairstyle and the song covers he keeps posting on insta feel like a direct attack on me I swear)

❣ When did you first discover this group?

I'd been vaguely familiar with Bts for a few years, but it wasn't until my sister sent me some of their mvs back in 2020 that I started actively listening to their music.

For Skz, it was the summer of 2021, just after the 'Oh' mv was released, like I mentioned above.

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No, but a girl can dream

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

Bts:

Paradise, The truth untold, Louder than bombs, Blood sweat tears, Zero 'o clock, Blue & gray, Pied piper, Jamais vu,

Skz:

Oh, Gone Away, Sorry I love you, Red lights, Chill, Cover me, Hello stranger, Waiting for us

Tagging @a-gayish-unicorn @crabby-libra @this-must-be-my-tardis and whoever else wants to play!

#7ndipity speaks #tag game

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catmelonwriting · 4 hours

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Oohmygofd pleaaase plsplspls write bulimic reader... As some1 who's bulimic i will die if u do (positively)

BSD Men with a bulimic!reader

Warnings: Bulimia, not proofread, vomit type purging, very self inserted and based off my experiences, bad body image, reader is not underweight, hurt/comfort, a couple usages of (name) in akutagawa's bc I just can't see this man using pet names

Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya

A/N: I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who wanted this.. I was really hesitant to write it bc my blog is entirely smut and that usually does better than hurt/comfort, angst, or fluff, but if I'm not the only person who wants it I'm deffy gonna write it!! I don't really like Akutagawas I definitely didn't do him justice but I loveeeee chuuya's

Akutagawa

- Probably will not notice until you tell him.. just thinks you're sick or something when he hears coughing noises from the bathroom.

- From then on he's really concerned, he'll probably do a lot of research on it (w/o you knowing ofc)

- Will try and get you into treatment, even just IOP, but if you refuse HE is going to monitor everything your eating

- If you do end up binging in the middle of the night or while he's not there, the bathroom is off limits for the next 45 minutes.

- He will literally stand in the way of the doorway if you try to go, he's not risking anything.

- If you try not to eat too much the next day to 'make up for it' he'll sit with you while you eat and give you encouraging words here and there, but neither of you are getting up till your finished.

One shot

You're kneeled over the bathroom toilet, the back of a toothbrush nudging your throat, when you let out a loud gag. You immediately take the toothbrush out and cover your mouth.. you had learned to be so quiet after akutagawa found out about your eating disorder, how could you let that happen?

You hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door before three short knocks. "Yeah, Ryū?" You ask, your voice was raspy and you sounded like you had been crying. Fuck, he knows.

"..(Name) are you alright? Are you doing something you shouldn't?" His voice was sharp, like he was angry. You knew he wasn't, you knew he would never be angry at your for something like this.. just.. upset, but you can't help the guilt that courses through your body at his words.

"No." You choke out, shuffling to shove the toothbrush back in the holder. "I heard gagging." You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the rasp. "Um.. I wasn't. Just coughing. I'm not feeling well." You call out, quickly flushing your thrown up dinner down the toilet. "I'll be out in a second."

You dig in the drawers for your perfume, air freshener, dry shampoo, anything you can spray to cover up the smell of your throw up, but you couldn't find anything. So you hesitantly clean your hands and leave the bathroom with the overwhelming smell of vomit filling it.

"Hey, love." You mumble, sitting down next to him on the couch, your voice shaky. "..(Name), don't lie to me. I know what you were doing." He mumbles, placing his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You blink back tears as you push your face into his chest. "Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I didn't.." you choke out, sniffling.

"Don't apologize to me, dear. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just.. concerned. You told me you would stop." His voice sounded sympathetic, something you weren't used to with him. The smell of cigarette smoke hung on your jacket, a scent you had grown to love and found comforting since meeting him. The way his lanky, boney, ring covered fingers glided through your hair, his soft voice, it all comforted you, it all told you it was okay to cry.

His heart ached at the little gasps and sniffles and whimpers you let out whilst sobbing into his chest. It made him want to start bawling with you, but of course he wouldn't. He could never appear weak to you. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Ryu- I just can't stop- I can't stop no matter how hard I try.." you sob, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh baby.." he sighed. You didn't want to look up, you know he's looking down with pity. Pity you didn't want. "It's alright. I don't want you to cry, it's not your fault.. I understand- well, no, I don't. I don't understand, but I want to help you." Wrapping his arms around you, he leans into your head, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose.

That's where you two lay for the rest of your night, him whispering comforting words in your ears, giving you all the love you could ever ask for, something you'd never expect from a man like him.

Chuuya

- He notices within the first month of FRIENDSHIP

- The way you get up and scurry off to the bathroom after every meal you share, the guilt on your face after grabbing a third serving at the party you two are at, how quick you shove shit down your throat before tears well up in your eyes and you excuse yourself.. all of it.

- He definitely cares, but probably won't confront you about it till later on in the friendship if you're still having trouble

- He won't just send you a lousy "have you been eating properly?" Text either, he's gonna invite you over to his house making it known you two are gonna have a serious conversation, then sit you down in his living room then prod and probe till you admit it.

- If you're still struggling w/ it when you're dating/when you move in together (which you probably are bc eds are harsh) he'll be like Akutagawa and monitor everything you eat, just a little more stealthily

- He is not afraid to tell you to slow down if you seem to be overeating.. he takes the binging just as seriously as the purging.

Oneshot

You had awakened in the middle of the night with a need for food. Anything you could get your hands on you needed inside of you asap.

You quickly and carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen and flicking the light on. The first thing you see is a brand new box of cereal you had bought today, Chuuya hadn't had it in awhile, it was his favorite as a kid and he seemed happy while buying it. Guilt tote through you when you ripped open the box and shuffled handfuls into your mouth, before discarding the half empty box on the ground.

You reached for the cake you two had made for your birthday last week, taking fistfuls with your bare hands and shoving the icing covered cake in your mouth.

After shoving everything in vicinity down your throat, you open the fridge to find a diet coke, or a regular, just anything with bubbles.. anything with carbonation to help you get this all up better. Anything. Your eyes land on an energy drink you had bought yesterday.. you were saving it for today, but in your eyes you needed it now.

You crack it open and glug it down, before looking at the mess you made on the floor. Empty boxes, half eaten cake, a carton of half eaten cookies, an empty bowl that was previously filled with salad, an empty milk carton.. you felt sick to your stomach. You needed this out of you now. Now.

You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, turning off the kitchen lights behind you and locking the door behind you, kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet. You hated doing this, you hated how gross you felt hovering over something where your ass went.. but you needed it gone. You couldn't gain weight.. you already felt so fat as it is no matter how much chuuya tried to convince you you're average.. you just couldn't believe it. Looking in the mirror all you could see was piles of fat.

You push the back of your toothbrush down your throat, gagging almost silently as the first few things came up. You recognized some chocolate, veggies, something.. red.. you didn't want to think about it too much as you shoved the toothbrush back down your throat. You watched as everything you ate came up opposite to the order you had it in.

Finally, you recognize barely chewed lumps of cereal fall into the toilet, and after you throw up stomach acid mixed with dark blood, you sigh, wipe your mouth and stand up, flushing the toilet, and clean yourself up.

Walking out of the bathroom, you see the kitchen lights on. Fuck. You could've sworn you turned those off.

Your ginger haired boyfriend turns the corner from the kitchen, looking you dead in the eyes with disappointment on his face. You wished you could just evaporate. "Love, what is this?" He sounded.. exasperated. Tired of you, tired of your illness, tired of having a girlfriend who can't just eat normally. You were tired of it too, but the Internet made recovery seem so much easier than it really was.

Tears flow out of your eyes as you wipe the remaining spit dribbling from your mouth away. "Did you throw up?" He sighs.. you can't tell if he's being sympathetic or if he's annoyed. Maybe both. All you can muster is a nod before you fall into his chest, letting out broken sobs and choking out apologies. From where you are you can glance into the kitchen, noticing he had cleaned up the little mess you made.

God, not only did he have to deal with such an emotional, disordered girlfriend.. he had to clean up after you too? You felt like such a terrible person, like you didn't deserve his love.

"Cmon, sweetie, let's go to bed. Let me tuck you in." He mutters sleepily. "Don't apologize.. don't apologize, it's not your fault. You know I'm not mad." His whispers comfort you and make you feel worse at the same time, you didn't understand it. "I'm not mad, just worried. I could never be mad at you." He speaks softly, nudging you towards the open door of your bedroom.

You whimper and sniffle as he tucks you into bed, before getting back in himself and wrapping his arms around your waist. He leans in, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, tracing shapes in your hip, telling you you're beautiful and it'll all be okay until you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning, Chuuya isn't there. He must've gone to work already. You see a small note on the bedside table next to you, and hesitantly pick it up to read its contents.

"Hey doll, I'm sorry I left for work before we could talk about this in-person, and I definitely have a plan to speak to you about it tonight. But I wanted to let you know I'm not mad at you, nor am I upset with you, I'm just concerned for your well-being and safety. I want to get you into some treatment program because I'm not trained in this, and I don't really know how to help. I know this isn't entirely about your weight or how your body looks, but baby believe me when I say you're beautiful. You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on and I am so lucky to have you. You are not 'too much' and your emotional baggage is not too much for me to carry. Even if it was, it's worth it for a girl as sweet and caring as you.

Love, Chuuya"

You hold the note close to your chest and push yourself backwards into bed, draping the covers over yourself and falling back asleep with his letter held close.

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jogetsobsessed · 2 days

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Not Strong Enough - Paul Lahote

This is so rushed and you can tell lol. I started this months ago, last summer. Also I hate writing dialogue and this is basically all that so yay for Jo!

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“ I know you're awake Y/n”. His voice cut through the silence of the night.

You didn't stir. You were trying to keep your breath even, praying that he would roll over and go back to sleep. He didn't need to be bothered with the late-night demons you were fighting. He had so much that he was dealing with when it came to the pack, Sam has given him more responsibility in the past few months. You knew it was weighing on him but he never complained not wanting to burden you, even when you begged him to vent to you. Seeing him bottle his emotions only caused you to feel more emotional at the thought of him being sad and feeling like he couldn't talk to you.

“Y/n you're not fooling me love”. He reached out and turned his lamp on before rolling over to face you. Still, you didn't move.

Embarrassment flushed your cheeks and tears threatened to spill as you attempted to blink them away. Rubbing at your eyes to cover up the evidence of your dejected attitude. Even though Paul was quite literally watching your every move.

“What's wrong?”.

“I don't know what you're talking about Paul, you woke me up with your booming voice”.

He opened his mouth to retort what you said but stopped. Pausing to tilt his head to the side, much like a dog does when watching in anticipation. His eyes scanned your body, up and down as he tried to figure out if something was physically wrong with you. When he couldn't find anything wrong his eyes traveled to yours, locking in place. You just blinked, not wanting to budge.

“Y/n I love you, and I have loved you since I first met you. I know you. I know everything about you. Like how you always take a gasping gulp of air right before you fall asleep or how after you have been asleep for a little while you start to snore a little bit, not too loud but enough for me to hear. It's something I love, it soothes me. So yes, I know that you weren't sleeping”.

That was enough to break the dam.

Tears came out in droves as you bawled, burying your head in your hands. Paul acted in no time, immediately shifting to sit up, pulling you into his chest cradling your head as you sobbed. Fear was pulsing through his veins as he watched your chest heave up and down, gasping to catch your breath. His hand that wasn't holding your head rubbing small circles on your arm, attempting to provide comfort.

Slowly your tears came to a sputtering stop as you were able to fill your lungs up with enough air to begin to calm down. His hand didn't stop, because he was right with what he said earlier, he knew you. His grounding touch in your moment of panic was one of, if not the only thing that could bring you back to reality.

You turn your head up. Lifting it from his chest to gaze up at him.

His face shone with pure love and admiration as he gazed down at you. The hand that had clutched your head moved to your face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that had yet to cascade down your cheeks slightly puffy from your outburst. His lips softly pressed against your forehead, lingering as he felt you relax under his touch. You shifted again, this time turning so you could lean your head on his shoulder, your legs dangling off his lap.

“So how are you going to tell me what's going on?”.

“I'm scared”.

You felt his body tense under your words. The sudden onset of anxiety filled the dimly lit room.

“What do you have to be scared of?”. His voice was calm but the way his grip tightened around you was another indicator of his sudden mood change.

“Becoming a mom, not being strong enough”.

-------------

You knew it was silly.

To let this fear consume you. It's not like the idea of becoming a mom was new. You have spent the past eight months preparing for your upcoming life change. Outwardly you put on a confident front. Accepting the advice your friends and random strangers alike gave you unsolicited advice. Spending hours upon hours shopping with Emily and Kim, letting some of the tribe elders teach you how to crochet different styles of blankets for your new upcoming arrival. Learning about the teas made up of all different herbs that were supposed to aid in various pregnancy symptoms like nausea and sciatic nerve pain. You took in all of it.

But inside you weren't handling everything as well.

No one wanted to talk about the fears that you were harboring. No one wanted to talk about what had happened to Emily during the birth of her and Sam’s first. About how she almost lost her life because of the blood loss, because children born from the wives of the shifters were larger than ones born to human fathers. About how Sam’s screams could be heard miles away as the healers tried to push him out of the room, away from his dying wife. About how that could happen to you.

No one wanted to talk about how you could die.

So every night for the past few weeks as your due date was nearing closer you let yourself think of the possibility, the possibility of your mortality.

Normally you were able to suppress it enough to fall asleep shortly after Paul. But tonight was different.

After a day spent in Forks going to get an ultrasound and then to the healers on the reservation, you had heard someone address the possibility of complications. The talk you got from them was different, seeing as the doctors in Forks didn't know about the lineage of your husband, and his genetic abnormalities that could and probably would affect your child's birth.

Paul had remained stoic throughout trying his best to comfort you without showing any weakness. No matter how much you tried to drill it through his thick skull showing emotion didn't make him weak he didn't budge, that was going to be a lifelong battle.

But their words had hit you hard, the fears you had been struggling with by yourself in silence were finally being brought to light, and someone wanted to talk about them. And you had gone through all the different possibilities, all the complications, and their varying outcomes.

And that was why you had remained awake tonight.

Your fears were fighting off the exhaustion you felt, as your mind was on fire. Paul hadn't brought anything up, other than commenting on how big your baby was getting and about running up north to Port Angeles this weekend to pick up the last piece of furniture for the nursery. It was typical of him not wanting to bring up the things hard to talk about. And you didn't want to fight, not after such an exhausting day so you said nothing, opting for silence.

Paul didn't know what to say, no amount of circles against your arm could provide comfort in this moment. He couldn't simply solve this problem with his touch.

“What are you talking about, my love?”.

“Oh come on Paul, you're telling me you aren't scared. After everything we talked about today. The possibility of me die…”.

“Please don't Y/n”. His voice broke as he closed his eyes pulling you impossibly tight. Normally you would stop, but not tonight. No, you couldn't bottle your emotions anymore.

“Paul, we have to talk about it. Please, I can't do this anymore. I am so scared. Paul I'm terrified about what could happen, what if I can't do this. What if I'm not strong enough to go through labor”. Part of you was proud of yourself for fighting back your tears.

His silence was concerning. But it didn't last long.

“My sweet girl I want to tell you that there's nothing for you to be afraid of but I think we both know that unfortunately, that's not true. However, you're stressing yourself out over something that has a very small chance of happening -”.

“But it happened to Emily!”, you cried out cutting him off.

That hit him hard.

The pack had to experience the pain that Sam had felt years ago. Feeling what was causing their Alpha to crumble to pieces, to be reduced to tears as he begged someone, anyone, to help his imprint.

And Paul had never forgotten that feeling, the look on Sam’s face. So when you had broken the news to him, told him that he was going to be a dad he panicked. He had felt the same feelings that you were feeling now but as the months went on he pushed them down. Choosing to focus on the happier things in your pregnancy, accidentally ignoring everything that was bothering you.

Though hearing you now he had realized he messed up.

“Y/n what happened to Emily…it was horrible. But look at her now, she is a wonderful mother to three beautiful children. Her second and third deliveries went off without a hitch, you know this”.

“But I'm not like Emily, she's survived so much. She's invincible”, your lip was wobbling now.

“You are the strongest woman I have ever met, Y/N. I have complete and total faith in you. I know that you can do it”. His hands were resting on your bump, your child seeming to sense their dad's presence kicking against his palm.

“Really?”, you sniffled, a small weight lifting off your shoulders. It felt good to have this hard conversation. You knew there was so much you needed to talk about, but the bulk of it could be had in the morning, once daylight was streaming through the sheer curtains. “You are strong enough”

#edward cullen #fanfic #imprint #paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #twilight #x reader #fem reader #sam uley #seth clearwater #the twilight saga #twilight x reader #paul lahote x pregnant!reader #jogetsobsessed

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taka-chan · 15 hours

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I am writing this after eating literally for the first time in these two difficult days. I didn’t think that there could be THAT many tears in my body, because I’ve actually been crying for the second day without stopping. It's like a terrible blow.

the GazettE for me (like for many sixth guns OH GOD HOW I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY) this is a very personal story. I never had a strong family relationship (I am a glass child and also grew up without a father) and these guys gave me a home and provided me with comfort and love for many years. I'm still very young, and the GazettE have accompanied me all my life since about elementary school. This year I'm already entering university. THEY LITERALLY RAISED ME.

Losing Reita feels like losing an older brother or a very close friend who could always support me and help me find a way out. I feel so sharp now and can't stop my tears. It hurts me so much that I didn’t get to see him on stage with my own eyes. I would give anything to hear a bass solo played by him live at least once. Even if it's just a minute.

When I read the guys’ last message and finished reading Ruki’s lines, I thought how hard it was and also thought “four more.” But there were only three of them. In fact, it's surprising to me that they spoke out so quickly, it shows a lot of trust and love for the fans. I know that many sixth guns, like me, still cannot accept or even believe that Reita's gone. I would like to extend my hand, wet with tears, to everyone who is crying right now, like me. I'm very glad that I grew up with Reita. Rest in peace, angelic soul.

Sorry for such a long message, and english isn't my first language too. Thank you for letting me talk. You are a kind soul, like many of us in this sweet and strong community. Many hugs.

oop sorry i shed a little tear or two because your story hit home a bit.

it's really so so unfathomable when you lose such an important part of your well being. something like a crutch, at times. like I said his presence was constant

especially given his personality, he was very close to all of us. I'm happy you're able to find joy in knowing him among the sorrow of losing him.

thank you for messaging me in the first place, I honor your trust 🫂 and hugs, of course. hugs for everyone

#the gazette #reita #ask

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nulltune · 3 months

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forever grateful for the ccc english patch (tho i can't play it myself /sobs) bc THIS. this sums up the true route so well and i write my hakuno before she really develops as a character (cuz i wanna flesh her out thru ic interactions 😤✨️) but i love her growth in canon and can't wait to flesh her out in writing so she can come to understand love like thisss 😭💕

ccc really is all about love and how the characters act based on how perceive that concept and there's a talk about the difference between ai (愛) and koi (恋) but tl;dr hakuno and sakura have koi, which andersen describes as a "dreaming heart" that's more associated with like longing and yearning,,,, IT FITS THEM SO WELL I SOBB

#&&. out of #I LOVE THE WAY H.AKUNO LOVES SM IM TYPING ALL OF THIS FROM A POOL OF MY TEARS IM SO SRS #i'm gonna be real with u chief i'm still trying to understand the differences between ai/koi myself BUT FROM I HAVE BEEN READING-#koi is vv fitting bc it's more romantic (eng patch translates koi to 'in love' and ai to 'love' !) and directed to a special person #<- ALSO WHY I'M NOT A FAN OF THE H.AKUNO HAREM JOKES 😷#DEVOTION IS LITERALLY THERE IN DA H.AKUNO CHARACTER PROFILE and h.akuno makes it so clear that she only has eyes for one (1) person #if she loves u then u'd be her one and only..!!!!#it's an important character trait of hers methinks tho i will admit that there are moments that make me go 🤨 in regards to it #but that's not h.akuno- that's jst bad writing 💀#AGDJWHD AND YEAHH THATS WHY I SOMETIMES IGNORE CERTAIN THINGS IN CANON 😷#the only parts of h.akuno i don't like can all be chalked up to bad writing frfr 🗿#i have a lot to say but ye i love h.akuno k.ishinami a lot 😭😭😭✌️✌️#WE ALSO FINALLY GOT ENG TRANSLATION OF H.AKUNO PROPOSING AND I WANNA POST THAT TOOOO #as u can probably tell; my h.akuno simp heart is truly being fed so well by all this content 🤧🙏💗💓💕

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spaceratprodigy · 6 months

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messy sketch but. them. :)

@hibernationsuit — 💕💖💕💖🥺💖💕💖💕

HELLOOO??? I AM SQUEALING!! LOOK AT THEM!!!! I am on the floor sobbing rn hello my friend I love you with my whole heart!!!!!!!!

#EVERYONE IS LEGALLY REQUIRED TO LOOK AT THIS #HOW DO I WORDS I HAVE NO WORDS #I am beaming so many heart and sparkle emojis directly into your mind rn like hello!!!!#you made this FOR MEEE????#sobbing what did I do to deserve this kindness ily ilysm thank you I am going to stare at this literally all day long #holding them so gently in my hands looking at them w tear filled eyes #words are hard but know I literally have the biggest cheesiest grin ever on my face rn I'm so surprised and delighted!!!!!!!#I love them I love them sm!! look at them!!!!!!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you are literally such a treasure this has brightened my day so much I'm so serious ohmygosh thank you fr I'm so aaaaaaaaaaa #THEY'RE JUST SO CUUUUUTE #PICTURES TAKEN MOMENTS BEFORE A DIVINE FEAST #looking so respectfully #I'm incapable of shutting up rn I am truly incapable I can never stop screaming abt this this is my favorite thing ever rn #ur so good to me how do I ever thank you enough for being so lovely and wonderful every day????#blowing you so many kisses rn so so much love to you so so much goodness to you now and always #okay okay I need to stop writing tags but the love in my heart is ongoing rn I am in SHAMBLES!!!!!#friend art #faith and max #captain of the unreliable #literally on my hands and knees rn #banging my fists on the table #I'M IN LOVE IMMMM IMMMM (getting restrained and pulled away so I stop screaming my heart out)

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jeanmoreauss · 8 days

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okay so newsflash turns out that after 3 years of not writing i am physically incapable of it

#there are literal tears in my eyes this is fucking stupid #i can't get words on the damn page #i don't know what's wrong with me i just can't #there's like a vague idea in my head but it's not happening #it's just not #i'm never writing again i give up #personal.txt

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venomroad · 11 months

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Back when I did the rough drafts of my timeskip comics my beloved Bens had written a short fic of Hannyabal having to get used to his new duties as Warden and needing a bit of a push to be more confident in his position. It's a wonderful fic and it's made me cry so many times, I can't believe I haven't drawn art for it until now, but this is my response to Bens suggesting I draw my favourite scene, LOL!! Practically ready to animate it all because it's so good.😭 Anyways enough of that, please check it out, it's so good and I adore how Bens writes everyone, please give it a read, give it some kudos!!!

#one piece #ma #get a chance to see my super ooc mags and hanns haha-- I read while drawing so I really focus on the emotions and how I visualize each scen #so the rest of the details are just rushed out and i move onto the next face #I literally tear up so bad at Hannya crying because its so well written UGH I'm so happy to draw some scenes to it #bens also writes the most dashing mag like UH?????💘💘💘#ambitious poison #toxmic time

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that-was-anticlimactic · 1 year

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there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.

#i lowkey had an awful day today lol #and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it #there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for #the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the #creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so #aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to #cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was #like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was #idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and #everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers #couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high #school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and #ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol #so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed #to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the #song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol #sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk

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da-proti-toku-grem · 5 months

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#i'm seriously starting to considering quiting uni and i've not even been here for 2 month yet #seriously why am i like this #i'm literally on the verge of tears rn and trying not to have an anxiety attack #and just because my chemistry teacher told us that we have to do some shit for a presentation in december #just thinking about all the stuff i have to do for december makes me want to cry #and 90% of it is the week after my concert #and i already feel like shit because i'm going to a f*cking concert instead of studying #also i don't like almost anything we're doing up to this point #and i keep telling myself that maybe it's because it's the first year and we are doing more 'basic' things #so maybe i'll like more stuff in the next years #but it seems more unlikely everyday #and i can't stop thinking that maybe i chose the wrong career #i know that's not the end of the world but i can't help but think that i've been wasting my time #and that i had such a bad time last year just to be able to get into this career only to not like it now that i'm in #also idk what i would do if i actually quit because this was honestly the only thing i thought i might like #it's just so frustrating and idk what to do #so i'm here writing this rant in the middle of class trying not to cry in front of 60 people #and feeling even worse because i'm not paying enough attention #istg i think that the only thing keeping me sane rn is this fandom #i'm very grateful for all of you who put up with me every day :(#venting #maca speaks

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untilthcyrot · 3 months

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things you said prompts | 12. things you said when you thought i was asleep asked by @freakarus

Sleep was supposed to be a sacred time for people; a way for the mind to recharge, for the body to relax, and for dreams to whisk you away from the woes of reality and transform you somewhere else. For Winnie, for as long as she could remember, sleep was a time when she could chance sleepwalking and the prospect was just as equally terrifying as the last. She could remember when she was a little girl, her mother would securely tuck her into bed and she would feel so warm and safe underneath that blanket. If she thought hard about it, she could still remember the way it smelled washed in that fabric softener her mother always bought. Once tucked in, her mother would place a kiss on the crown of her golden head and whisper "good night" before disappearing from the room completely. Moonlight slipped through the curtains onto her face. Instead of counting sheep, she counted the twinkles in the night sky as she was lulled to sleep.

But no dreams ever came during those nights. There was only darkness, this void that felt like a daze that she was lost in until slowly she was being pulled out of. It would take a few moments to comprehend but she'd realize that she wasn't in her bed anymore. Sleep blinked out of her eyes and she would find that she was standing in her backyard . . . or the driveway . . . or on those rare and terrifying occasions, somewhere in the woods behind her house. No memory of how she got there, crawling back into her bed shivering and scared. When her mother found out, she tried to get her help, but how do you explain a perfectly normal little girl sleepwalking? You look at her schizophrenic mother and make assumptions apparently.

The Gilded Hand knew why. It took a madman taking her as a child, taking all of the special children like her, and locking them away in an abandoned factory, to tell her that she had a unique ability that went beyond the human scope. Winnie had that ability to connect with the dead who had trouble crossing over. She was a beacon of light to the spirits who were lost and confused. They would be attracted to her like a moth to a flame, trying to reach out to her, to her light, and use it as a means of finally crossing over. The trouble was, that a little girl didn't always realize that her imaginary friends were ghosts, and she didn't know how to help them. And her mother? Well, maybe she worried that these friends she saw were all part of a sickness that she passed down to her, so she was hardly any help to her daughter.

Sometimes the spirits took it too far though, but was it something that they could really help either? After spending time walking the earth alone and unseen by the living, finding someone like Winnie was overwhelming for them and they found themselves desperate. They found that they couldn't just talk to her but possess her for a short amount of time. They felt the warmth of life again in her body - what it felt like to breathe air into their lungs, the warmth of a summer night, the taste of food again. They tried not to let any harm come to her, especially when she was a child, but the stress of being possessed would cause her body to reject the souls and she would end up sleepwalking wherever she was left alone again.

As she grew older, she was able to take back some control again. There were no more imaginary friends but spirits who needed her help and she tried to do just that before it affected her sleeping habits, but it couldn't always be stopped. The world was full of lost souls, unfortunately. Winnie had been terrified that Eddie would find her in the compromising position of wandering outside in a sleeping daze until he finally had. Maybe it scared him too, but...instead of rejecting her...he was there for her. That meant more to him than he would ever know. For a girl who never felt completely safe when she was laying in her bed trying to sleep, just him accepting that part of her made her feel that much better about her ability, about her whole self in general.

Tonight, as it felt like she was having one of those dreamless nights again, her eyes flung open in a panic. She was met with darkness that made her heart race, only imagining in those first few seconds where she could have ended up tonight if Eddie hadn't stopped her from leaving first if he had even been awake to notice. Relief was quick to sink in when she realized her blues were staring up at the ceiling and she turned her head to find Eddie sound asleep next to her. She hadn't realized her hand had clenched the drawstring to her hoodie, quickly releasing her grip as tension died down from the realization that her dreamless sleep was just that . . . a dreamless sleep, nothing more, nothing less.

Winnie turned over on her side, body shifting closer to Eddie so that she could feel the warmth of his body against her own. Something about that feeling . . . it made her feel safe and secure, just like when her mother tucked her underneath that blanket smelling of sweet fabric softener and kissing her on the head. Safe. She leaned her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes before the tears could escape them.

❝ You're my armor, ❞ she whispered so quietly that she wouldn't have even thought she said them if she knew she hadn't. ❝ You make me feel safe when I shut my eyes and I'm scared about what's going to happen when I fall asleep. I know nothing will happen anymore because of you. ❞

#freakarus #♡ ───── WINNIE HADLEY ( MEME REPLIES )#[A FEW THINGS]#[number one. i literally started tearing up while i was writing this.]#[specifically the last few paragraphs and comparing him to making her feel safe the way her mother used to do]#[number two. i went with the idea that he did catch her sleepwalking from that open starter i wrote]#[since you did mention wanting to reply to it which no rush ofc! i'm excited for the angst!]#[number three. i decided to write this after midnight thinking 'hmm let's see if i have the inspo to write i'm kind of tired']#[MEANWHILE I WROTE A WHOLE NOVEL FOR YOU]#[but i hope you like it and ugh i have so many feelings please scream at me on discord when you read this <3333]

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