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#like i usually like to dress up real nice :( but today i wasn’t feeling it lmao
perlelune · 4 months
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no body, no crime | Coriolanus Snow | i.
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Your childhood friend returns from his exile in district 12, but he's not the sweet, quiet boy you once knew anymore.
Warnings: NON-CON, Plinth!Reader, Gaslighting, Drugging, Murder, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Loss of Virginity, Somnophilia
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
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Birdsong fills your ears as you meticulously unearth the last few weeds in the soil. Careful to not damage the stems, you pull gently while barely disturbing the dirt. The last step is pruning. With ginger motions, you cut each crooked branch pointing in the wrong direction. Beads of sweat drip down from your forehead into the soil.
The heat from the sun is unforgiving today.
But you welcome the labor, even with the sweltering weather. Time flies when you spend it in the garden.
It’s a welcome distraction, the kind you’ve sorely craved as of late. Idleness does you no good. It often ends with you curled beneath your blankets, drowning in a puddle of your own tears.
Each day you wake up hoping none of it was real.
The harsh reality swiftly claims its right however.
It’s everywhere. All the painful little reminders. 
The empty chair at the dinner table. All the spots he loved in the house, now desolate without him. His untouched room, lacking the messiness he usually favored.
And there’s all the times you turn, words tingling on your tongue, hoping he’ll be there to listen to you as always.
Then you remember.
Your brother can never listen to you again. And neither will you listen to him.
You’ll never hear his stupid laugh again or his crazy stories.
And your whole life you’ll turn, hoping to see him standing right there, beside you, but he will not be here.
Your grip on the shears loosen. They hit the vibrant green grass with a quiet thud.
You lift your eyes to admire your handiwork.
The garden looks nice; the flowers are thriving. The roses in particular.
They have bloomed wonderfully this year, having blushed to a gorgeous scarlet.
Your heart sinks. 
If only Sejanus were here to see it. Your brother spent most of his life helping you tend to this garden. Whenever he wasn’t busy at the Academy or with the various tasks Strabo had for him, your brother was here, with you.
You both worked in silence, basking in the warmth of the sun and the pleasure of each other’s company.
The garden turns into a watercolor rainbow before you as your eyes well up with tears.
“We have company, sweetie.”
You swivel towards the familiar airy tone your mother often uses. She often emphasizes the importance of poise and decorum in every situation. Even in the current situation, your mother’s held her head high. Still, you don’t miss the subtle red rims around her eyes and the hollowness of her cheeks. 
Like you, she’s suffering. While you may not share blood with your family, having been adopted when you were three, your bond with your mother has always been as strong as if she gave birth to you.
Confusion has your brows collide into each other.
“Company? We weren’t expecting anyone.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, gripping your shoulders. Heartbreak flashes in her eyes, the same soulful ones as her departed son. “I’m hurting too, but you can’t hide forever.”
She cups your face and advises, “Go put on a nice dress, and wash up some. You have dirt on your face.” Disapproval pinches your mother’s features as she gauges your disheveled appearance. She sighs. "You know you don’t have to do that. This is what we have staff for."
Help. You suppose your mother refers to the Avoxes who tend to the yard sometimes. The sight of them fills you with rage and disgust.
Just one of the Capitol’s many crimes against its own people. Who would even clip someone’s tongue as punishment, then have them serve their tormentors?
It’s beyond vile and sadistic. But what else to expect from a place that openly sponsors child murder?
At times, you feel as if you’re living amongst beasts masquerading as human beings.
Still, you feign nonchalance. Some opinions cannot be voiced aloud, even to your parents. Especially to your parents.
"It calms me down," you explain, shedding your gloves and removing your wide-brimmed hat.
“Sweetie…”
She gives you yet another lecture on proper ladylike behavior. As usual, you only listen with half an ear, checking out about five minutes into her querulous spiel.
You’ve heard it at least a million times before. Still, you indulge her like the dutiful daughter you are.
She then reminds you to get dressed. You don’t have to be told twice.
You head to the back door connecting the garden to your room. 
While you do as you’ve been instructed, inquiries crowd your mind. Your parents haven’t been too fond of visitors lately. Besides, what kind of company requires you to dress up?
As you head to your massive closet, you wonder who’d visit your family at such a time. 
Your mother’s refrained from entertaining altogether and your father’s poured all his energy in his business, turning down most social calls. 
You randomly pick a dress, a pale blue one with a sweetheart neckline, before making your way downstairs.
Faint chatter echoes from the sunroom near your father’s office. You follow the hushed voices.
Astonishment rushes through you when you realize who’s having tea with your father.
You haven’t seen him since reaping day.
“Coriolanus?” you gasp.
He stands to his full height at the sound of you calling his name. Your surprise multiplies. 
He seems so…different, yet you can’t pinpoint what exactly about him elicits that impression within you. After all, he's still the same tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, dashing young man you knew before. 
But something has changed. You can feel it.
Even the air around him moves in a different way, it seems.
He makes his way to you, surprising you further by grabbing your hand and brushing his lips over the back of it.
“You look lovely,” he mumbles, cobalt eyes finding yours.
Warmth rushes to your cheeks. You don’t remember Coriolanus ever being so…chivalrous. 
“T-Thank you,” you stammer.
“I’ll let you two kids catch up,” your father states, nodding at the blond before taking his leave. 
“How are you holding up?” the young man asks, escorting you to a nearby bench. 
It occurs to you that he’s still holding your hand, his long slender fingers curled around yours. Cheeks aflame once again, you draw it back and tuck it in your lap.
Coriolanus’ brow twitches at your tiny gesture.
“I…Dad said you were the one who brought the box with his things. That was so thoughtful of you.”
A subtle smile spreads on his lips.
“It’s nothing.”
“No, it means a lot,” you insist, shaking your head. “Any part of him it’s…it’s important to keep it.”
You fidget as he studies you, his crystalline gaze unreadable.
“But you have the most important part with you all the time. In the end it’s all we have, right? Our memories.”
Your heart swells with warmth.  He’s right, you surmise. After all, every memory of your brother is yours. Forever. They will never be taken away.
You’re a little taken aback though. Who knew Coriolanus Snow to be so sentimental? 
“Thanks, Coryo.”
His mouth tenses at the nickname but his tight-lipped smile expands. You used to call him that when you were little, having witnessed Tigris do it. It stuck and he never corrected you.
“I missed you. I think the last time you came to our house you were like seven or eight, right?” A soft giggle leaves your lips. “Janus had to drag you there. He kept asking and you always said no.”
He shrugs.
“All the other kids were picking on him. I didn’t want to make it worse for him.”
Your voice softens. “But you never did. Pick on him I mean.” They may not have been the closest but you remembered how much it meant to Sejanus at the time, that at least one kid in his class wasn’t harassing him for being from a district. While some thought he was merely upholding the grace befitting his name and status, you believed otherwise. You’ve always been convinced that beneath the sturdy layer of indifference he drapes over himself, Coriolanus is kinder than he seems. He was kind to you after all.
He spoke to you many times, even playing with you when many other children wouldn’t. Over the years, you grew a bit apart but he’s always been sweet whenever you ran into each other. 
“So, what have you been up to?” he asks, changing the subject.
You sigh. “Not much,” you admit. “Gardening, reading, going to class. The preparations for the wedding take up most of my time anyway.”
His jaw ticks as a slight crease appears on his forehead.
“A wedding? Are you helping someone plan their wedding?”
“No…It’s for my wedding actually.”
Your engagement ring glimmers, catching the sunlight as you show it to him.
Coriolanus’ frown deepens.
“You’re engaged? I didn’t realize.”
Enthusiastic, you nod. “Yeah, he’s amazing. We met at Uni. Dad doesn’t like him too much though.”
This seems to catch his interest, his head leaning sideways.
“Is that so?”
“His family’s from the districts…and Dad said his breeding will drag down to our name.”
Just saying it boils your blood. How hypocritical of your father when the Plinth house had its roots in District 2. Sometimes, it stuns you how far your father’s strayed from the plight of his own people, going as far as sponsoring and financing the barbaric practice the Hunger Games are. 
Sejanus never stood for it, rightfully so. 
It’s one of the many reasons you miss him. He never embraced the horrors of Panem, fighting against your father’s plans for him at every turn. In the end, it even got him killed. 
“He just wants what’s best for you." He pauses, plucking your hand from your lap. His long fingers twine with yours. His tone dips, oozing concern. "I do too. You deserve the best. I hope you know that.”
A wave of emotions engulfs you. You don’t notice you’ve begun shedding tears until he reaches up to your face, using his thumbs to collect them. 
You give a watery smile.
“Thank you. For everything. For the box. For coming.”
He traces your tear-stained cheek with his finger. 
“I should have reached out more," he says, glistening blue eyes locking with yours.
Your hands cover his. You never expected in a million to hear such words leaving Coriolanus’ mouth. He’s always been so…aloof.
This is the kind of change you can only welcome. You often hoped Coriolanus would open himself more to others.
“It’s okay. We can catch up now. Make up for lost time," you chime.
His lips twist upward. "Right. We have all the time in the world."
Struck with the abrupt realization of your closeness, the way he cups your face being easy to misconstrue for an onlooker, you scoot backwards and clear your throat. 
Flames tickle your cheeks.
You’d be lying if you said you never harbored a little crush on the handsome heir of House Snow growing up. He on the other end, never seemed to notice you, his attention always on girls like Clemmie or Arachne. It makes sense, you suppose. They are, after all, cut from the same cloth. Bonded by generations upon generations of hoarded wealth and an elusive code of rules and conduct you never fully grasped.
The mere way you hold a cup of tea gives you away. 
But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re older now and about to get married. You can’t wander the wistful lands of childhood fantasies anymore. 
So while keeping a careful distance, you offer solemnly, “I… Dad is attending this fundraiser tonight…to funnel the promotion funds for the next Hunger Games." Your brow furrows as disdain coats your tone. You can’t believe plans to repeat this ghastly tradition are being set in motion. "I didn’t want to go but he wants the family to present a strong front." 
You pointedly omit to speak of your father’s blackmail and all he threatened to take from you if you didn’t show up, starting with the roof over your head.
See how well you fare as district trash, how long it takes you to crawl back home and beg for scraps.
You discard Strabo’s harsh warning to the deepest recesses of your mind. While you know he loves you, he also doesn’t tolerate any misstep from you. They took you in after all, saved you from a life of misery. Otherwise you’d have grown up an orphan. Instead, you get to live a lavish, easy existence in the lap of luxury, now the heir apparent to the Plinth fortune since Janus has passed.
You’re grateful, of course, for all they gave you. You just hate having to forsake your origins and partake passively in the slaughter of innocent children. Once you’re at the helm of the company, you’ll do everything in your power to stir up change. Every tidal wave begins with a small ripple. Perhaps one day all those tiny ripples will come together and form a tsunami, one that’ll wash away the sins of the Capitol and too many years of injustice.
"You should come. I could introduce you to my fiancé,” you offer.
Hopefully seeing both of them in one place will cement which one of them is your past and which one is your present. You don’t like the way a single touch from him flustered you so easily.
While you’re thrilled to resume your friendship with him, you and Coriolanus can never be more than that. 
Besides the obvious matter of your impending nuptials, the two of you are so different. There has to be someone out there for him, some lucky girl that’ll make him so happy. And you bet he’ll make her happy too. 
One thing's for sure however. That girl isn’t you. 
Coriolanus sizes you up before giving a slow reply.
“I look forward to it,” he says.
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lukesaprince · 10 months
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10 Minutes H.S
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Summary: Sleepy morning sex with bf!harry where he doesn't want you to get up and keeps asking for 10 more minutes
Warning: smut!!, penetration, soft sleepy goodness
Word count: 3k
Author’s note: I feel like soft sex is not something I write a lot of, so I felt like it was time I did something just full of love and goodness. A morning with H ❤️
- Find my General Masterlist here -
The air was cold; your nose turned pink and lips slightly chapped due to the lack of warmth from being out of the covers. But oh, the rest of your body was warm and toasty. From the chin down you were snuggled deep in your duvet, dressed in a pair of underwear only but utterly comfortable because of the sheer body heat he was emitting.
You were completely engulfed in him. He was basically lying on top of you, your head resting on his arm and his bare chest pressed to your back with his other arm wrapped snuggly around you. Your legs were intertwined, and his face was buried in your neck, his hot breath comforting against your skin. He was still breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm against your back.
Harry had the same issue with clothing in bed as you did. Neither of you could stand more than one layer on your skin when you were sleeping. For Harry his layer was usually a pair of boxers and that was it, but most nights he was completely nude; for you it was a t shirt or a pair of underwear and nothing else.  
Last night was one of those nights where Harry couldn’t bear a single item of clothing on his body. He just craved the feeling of skin-to-skin in a completely non-sexual comforting way, and with your bodies pressed together all night and the layers of blankets covering you, the cold wasn’t an issue and he slept like a baby all night.
He was still sleeping soundly like a baby when you woke up. Your alarm had woken you up easily because you were expecting it to come, but since it was Harry’s day off and his only real plan today was to have a good rest and head to the gym, he slept straight through it. He had this remarkable ability to be up at 4:30am most mornings if he had work, then completely sleep the day away if it was his day off.
You, unfortunately, had a virtual meeting at 9am that you had to attend so you had to wake up earlier than usual for the workday. Due to your hybrid schedule you worked from home three days a week and went into the office two. On the days you were from home, most of the office was as well so any essential meetings were pushed back to in-person or booked for the afternoon so everyone could relax a little in the morning.
You were lucky with your job in that way. If Harry happened to have the day off, you’d be able to spend the morning with him then start working later in the day. Your time management had become near perfect due to working from home so much, so you were usually able to complete your work in fewer hours than the usual workday. And if you needed to work later into the night so you could spend more time with Harry, you’d do it in a heartbeat.
Today was unfortunately not one of those days. You wished it was. God, you wished it was. The air outside of the safe cocoon of your bed was too cold, and Harry’s arms were so nice and warm you never wanted to leave them. There was just something about being completely surrounded by the love of your life that couldn’t compare to anything else, and you wanted to hang onto that feeling forever.
Trying not to wake up your lover, you very gently started to lift the layers of blanket off you so you could try and scoot closer to the edge of the bed and get up. But before you even got the chance of lifting it properly, Harry’s arm tightened further around you and you were pulled even closer to him. You let out a little squeak and let go of the blanket, your hand covering Harry’s.
“Don’t” he groaned, his voice thick and heavy due to barely being awake. He nuzzled his face deeper into your neck, his lips pressing to the junction where your neck met your shoulder. You froze against him, not realising that he had woken up before he started moving.
“Harry, I need to get up. I have a meeting at 9” you sighed, trying not to relax back into his arms and attempting to lift his arm off your body.
“No” he mumbled, his fingers digging into your body so you couldn’t move his arm off even if you tried.
“Harry.” You warned, wiggling in his grip. “Come on”
“What time is it?” he ignored your protest and lifted his leg to curl over both of yours, pressing them down onto the bed so you were effectively pinned with nowhere to go.
“It’s 8” you replied, eyes closing to try and hide your frustration. He was making this even harder and now you just wanted to melt and pull a sickie so you wouldn’t have to do work at all.
“Yeah… so you have at least half an ‘our with me. Just stay a bit longer, baby” he mumbled, kissing your skin before digging his forehead into the crook of your neck. The feeling of his lips against your skin had tingles running down your spine, but now definitely wasn’t the time for that.
“I can’t, H. I need to do washing and if I don’t make coffee and breakfast, I will not survive the day” you replied, wiggling against him again. “Come on, Harry!”
“I’ll do the washing and make you anything you like. Now please baby. Stay with me a little longer” he pleaded, whining as his hand started languidly stroking your lower belly.
Between his mouth ghosting your neck and his fingers now tracing little patterns on your stomach, your clit was tingling, and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. The knowledge that his cock was right there pressed against your ass made it even worse.
“Fine… fine. 10 minutes and I’m putting a timer on” you compromised, reaching for your phone and putting a timer on.
He didn’t protest and kissed your neck again, smiling happily against your neck because he knew you could never resist him. And he was right, you gave in so easily you should’ve been ashamed of yourself. But this was Harry, and he was so damn adorable when he had just woken up you couldn’t help but give in to his every demand.
Relaxing back into Harry’s arms, you let your eyes closed and a light sleep drift over you. You weren’t totally asleep, but you were in such a state of relaxation that the 10 minutes felt like two and you were internally screaming when the alarm went off way too soon.
You attempted to lift the covers again, knowing that Harry was awake due to his never-ending caressing on your lower belly. When your hand started lifting it up, Harry’s hand clasped around your wrist, stopping you.
“Harry” you warned, “I have to get up!”
“No, baby. Please. Just 10 more minutes” he pleaded, kissing your neck with more purpose this time. His mouth ghosted your skin as he pressed kisses in multiple places, his hand creeping lower along your stomach to the waistband of your underwear. It was at this moment that you felt the slow hardening of his cock, pressed right against your ass.
“Harry…” you sighed, back arching as his fingers dipped into your waistband and slid side to side. He was teasing you and showing you his intent all at the same time. With every touch and every kiss at your neck you were growing needier and needier; your pussy getting slicker and slicker.
Morning sex with Harry was one of your favourite things in the entire world.
“10 minutes is all I need, lovie. Let me love on you” he mumbled, unable to help himself from bending his elbow at your neck so he could grab your breast in a comforting squeeze. Your hands came up to grab his forearm as you started to press your ass back against his cock, showing him with your body that you wanted what he was offering you.
When it came to Harry you just couldn’t resist and ‘no’ just didn’t exist in your vocabulary. Besides, 10 minutes wasn’t going to hurt anyone, and you still had plenty of time before your meeting.
“Fine, okay. Just… be quick” you panted, your body now feeling too hot after getting so riled up.
“I love you so fucking much, y’know that. Love when it’s just us like this” he sighed appreciatively, finally releasing your legs from their confides and drawing his own leg back before he hooked his hand under your knee and drew your leg back, so he had proper access to your pussy. Your underwear were pretty flimsy so he didn’t feel the need to take them off, and with such limited time it felt like a waste when he could just push them to the side.
“Put me in, baby. Already so hard f’you”
He tiled his hips back to give you room while squeezing your breast again, his fingers finding your nipple and casually stroking and tugging at it. The sting was dizzying, making your hand fumble as you nudged your underwear to the side and reached behind you and between your bodies to wrap around his cock.
Harry let out a shuddered whimper in your ear at the feeling of your hand grabbing his cock. He was already so hard just like he said but you gave him a few tugs anyway and guided him to your pussy, his tip sliding between your folds then pressing to your entrance. As soon as he was in position, he nudged his hips forward and started sliding slowly into you.
You let out a choked moan at the feeling of his cock pushing past your entrance for the first time, the sensitive nerves in that area being stimulated all at once. He made sure to be gentle as your hand disappeared from his cock and grabbed onto his forearm again, knowing that you hadn’t been prepped with any fingers beforehand.
“Oh god, H…” you whimpered, head tilting back onto his shoulder.
“I know… I know baby. Feels so fucking good” he moaned back, right into your ear. He kept pressing inside you until he couldn’t move any longer, then he paused to give you a moment to adjust to the ache his cock caused.
“Move… please” you whispered, reaching back to grab onto his hip and dig your fingers there. Harry loved that, and the appreciative moan he let out when your nails dug into his toned hip showed it. You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction, but it was quickly replaced with a gaped mouth as he started rocking into you gently.
After a few thrusts he was fully sheathed inside you and was able to thrust easier and smoother. He got in a steady rhythm quickly, slow languid thrusts but hard and firmly stimulating your g-spot. His hand pulling your leg back gave him the perfect access to you, your bodies rocking together with every thrust.
“Oh baby… feels so good” you whimpered, back arching against his. Sweat was starting to collect on your bodies, even though everything so far had been done with little exertion.
Your bodies had truly morphed into one, your nerves truly alive and alert to everything the other person did. Maybe it was the early morning sensitivity your bodies had before truly being awake, or the cold air that made you so sensitive to each other’s touch.
Your breathing, little readjustments of fingers or grips, the way Harry’s breathing had grown heavier and heavier in your ear. Every little movement was sending you wild.
“Touch your clit baby, want you to cum” he mumbled, unable to reach your clit with how full his hands were. He decided to switch breasts at this moment, making sure the other was properly stimulated as well. The more he played with your nipples the puffier and redder they became, and his eyes became fixated on them and the way they bounced with every rocking movement.
Your hand reached down to connect to your clit and the moment you did you could just tell it wouldn’t be long before you were orgasming. When you two had morning sex like this it barely lasted a full 10 minutes like Harry claimed it needed. It wasn’t a matter of trying to last long or have long foreplay or multiple rounds, it was only about intimacy and love and something quick and special to start your day off well.
Harry had a theory about what your morning did to the rest of the day. He claimed that the way you started your day defined the rest of it. A morning well spent doing what you loved - whether that be yoga, a few pages of your favourite book, a catch up on your phone (his least favourite thing in the world), or morning sex with the love of your life – produced a wonderful day compared to one where you slept through your alarm or woke up in a cold bed with your lover nowhere to be seen.
So today, today was going to be a wonderful day.
“Harry” you whimpered, your fingers digging into his ass to draw him closer while you tilted your head in search for his lips. “Kiss… please”
“’m right here, angel. Right here” he soothed, adjusting his body so he was propped up on the elbow underneath your head and hovered slightly above you instead of directly behind you. With this new angle he was deeper and firmer against your g-spot and it had you gasping.
Your hand that was on his ass came up to cup his jaw, guiding his mouth down to connect with yours. The morning breath didn’t matter, neither did the fact that your hair was a rat’s nest and you both still had sleep in your eyes. It was just a kiss of utter love and desperation, your mouths pressed together only for a second before you had to break off to breathe.
The room was filled with simple sounds; your heavy panting, the wet sound of Harry’s cock sliding in and out of your pussy, his balls slapping against your ass. You were so close to coming you could barely think, and your body was growing hotter and tensing up in preparation for it. Harry was getting closer to, his thrusts growing sloppier and his abs contorting and aching.
“Gonna cum baby, you nearly there?” he asked, kissing you gently even though he already knew the answer. He knew the feeling of your impending orgasm around his cock like the back of his hand and he also knew every other visible sign your body gave when you were nearly there.
Still, he liked to hear it. He loved to hear that he was the one to make you come, that you were getting close for him and him only.
“Yes… so close, H. So so close” you sighed, cradling his jaw so he wouldn’t part any further than the millimetre distance between your mouths. “Just keep going, don’t stop baby” you rubbed your fingers harder against your clit, feeling that tingly sensation that arrived right before you came.
“Won’t stop, don’t worry” he assured you, kissing you again and sliding his hand further up your thigh so he could dig his fingers right into the sensitive meaty part. That usually did it and tonight was no different. You were already so on edge that the dig of his nails into your inner thigh was all it took for your body to seize and those delicious waves of pleasure to roll through you.
With a whimper of Harry’s name, you pressed your mouth to his once again, his hips stuttering as he came hard into you. His hand dropping your leg to cup your face in return, moaning into your mouth and holding you so close to him. You both carried out your highs just like this, panting and whimpering into each other’s mouths and refusing to unglue your bodies from each other.
“What time is it?” Harry breathed, caressing his fingers along your cheek. He still hadn’t slid out of you yet, neither of you wanting to move a muscle. You reached behind you and grabbed your phone to show him the time: 8:18am. He smirked and slid his hand down from your face to cup just underneath your jaw. “Did it in only 8 minutes and now we still have 12 until you absolutely must be up for work” he raised a brow suggestively.
You knew what he was suggesting; that mischievous glint in his eyes now that he was wide awake and at his full annoying self. After giving you a cream pie, Harry loved to jump straight in the shower with you and wash you clean, which usually ended with his fingers fucking his cum back into you and making you orgasm again. Or, a round two where he used his cum as lube to fuck another load into you.
It was soft and full of heated kisses, something that took a lot longer than 12 minutes.
“Harry, we can’t” you gave him a look that meant ‘don’t argue’ but he completely ignored it anyway.
“Come on, just a quick shower. 10 minutes tops” he bit his lip to hide a cheeky grin, his fingers caressing down your neck and making you dangerously close to screaming.
Again, you couldn’t help but give in to him.
“Fine, but we get in and get out. Understand? No funny business” you warned, waving your finger in his face.
He laughed and caught your hand, pressing kisses to your fingertips. “That, I can do”
That, he cannot do. His ’10 minutes tops’ turned into 20 minutes when he decided to get on his knees and lick you clean instead of washing you clean. Still… you wouldn’t have traded your 40-minute wakeup call for anything.
━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━
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dykeknightrises · 6 months
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US
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A/N: I'M BACK! This is the third and final piece of the falling series, finally making it's appereace! While I'm not super happy about it (which is probably because I feel a bit weird writing dialogue and this one has much more than the last two), I feel like this is the closing I wanted for it! I truly hope you guys enjoy it!
PART 1: FALLING
PART 2: PROMISES
Having Alexia look at you like that took your breath away. Her hazel eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the world gave you goosebumps. It wasn’t until a frown made it’s way to her forehead that you realized she was talking to you.
“I said: ‘I was hoping we could have our usual Thursday? I have a lot that I need to say to you.’” She said, before frowning ever deeper before adding, “Where are you going? It’s Thursday.”
“D-Date. I’m going on a date right now.” You replied, cursing the stuttering at the hasher tone she used on the last sentence.
“I didn’t know you were going on a date today.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to inform the team captain of such personal affairs.” You snarked back.
“That’s not what I meant and know it.”
“I don’t know, Alexia. For the past few months, we’ve only spoken as teammates. I don’t think it was wrong of me assume that this is how we were now, nothing more than teammates.”
“This is not fair, Y/N. You said we were okay.” Alexia gritted, pushing past you into your apartment.
“I thought we were too! I wasn’t the one who kept cancelling every week.” You scoffed.
“But you can’t just go in date like that!” she bit back.
“Excuse me? You know what, forget about it. Just leave, captain.”
“I can’t! I can’t let you go on that date before I tell you how I feel!” The Catalonian yelled.
“The last thing I need is to hear how much you don’t care about me!” You yell back, pushing past her and leaving her alone in your apartment.
***
The blonde’s words rang in your ears as you drove late to the date. The restaurant wasn’t very far, but you chose to drive to ground yourself. The argument with the Spaniard and the quick conversation that followed made her eyes turn glassy as she blinked to try to see the traffic better.
Trying to find the teammate that Leah set you up with was a downward spiral. Not being able to locate whoever it was, Y/N could feel the stress and the frustration leak through her cracks. A hand gripping your shoulder brought you back to the moment, making you turn and face soft brown eyes.
You could feel the warmness emanating from your former teammate as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Dressed in a high waisted pants, a very nice blouse and ready to kill, Lia Walti stood smiling at you.
“Leah outdid herself this time.” The Swiss laughed with you.
“Now a lot of things are making sense.” You agreed.
Following your friend to the table the English captain reserved for you two, it was easy to lose yourself in the conversation, as you caught up. It wasn’t easy, however, to do it completely, with a very specific person occupying such a bug part of your thoughts.
“Do you want to talk about her or are you pretending she doesn’t exist?”
“The second option.” You pout back.
“Well, I know why Leah set this whole thing up but, in all fairness, I’m not ready to go all in again. With how things ended between me and her, it still stings, you know? I mean, the whole summer fling was nice, but ‘real world’ wise I’m not there yet.”
“Oh, thank God. I’d hate to ghost you after this.” You joke at her, making her roll her eyes.
“Asshole!” She laughed, throwing a balled-up napkin in your direction.
With the underlining expectation of the night becoming nothing than a hang out between friends, you two relaxed considerably and dug deeper into the mess she had been in and the one you were now.
Dropping her off in her hotel after you both agreed on telling Leah the date was great so she wouldn’t set up either of you again, at least for a while, you drove back home. Talking to Lia about Alexia was very good, as she was removed enough from the situation to have convinced that maybe the last thing you yelled to the Catalonian was unfair.
With that happy though in mind, you got ready to bed, preparing yourself for an unruly night filled with Alexia, as usual.
***
Having a flat tire on your way to the Camp Nou was most certainly not a part of your plan and only served to make a bad day even worse. First you missed you alarm after only being able to sleep as the sun started peeking from the horizon. Then, you ran out of literally everything that was your usual breakfast food for Game Day. And now, a flat tire after already being late. Yay.
Leaving the car after parking and now even glancing checking where you were, an Uber arrived only a few minutes after and dropped you off on the wrong side of the stadium. Another check for bad day.
“I’m so sorry I’m late! The alarm, then the food, then the car, the Uber…” You apologized to Jona and the rest of you team, after finally making to the Locker Room.
“Uhh, don’t worry, Chica Amante!” Lucy teased.
“Oh, how do you say that in Swiss German?’ Mapí joked.
The team quickly joined in, clearly having heard details from Lucy and Keira, who Leah unquestionably gossiped to. Rolling your eyes, you started getting ready. It didn’t scape you that the only person who didn’t join in was Alexia, who had been lacing the same boot since you walked in.
“Ohh, Y/N, you can be late for game after a deliberate session of Seven Minutes in Heaven in the closest empty room!” Someone joked.
“Bonus if you don’t need all the minutes!” It was added.
As the girls kept poking fun, you could see Alexia get more and more tense, until she finally got up rather abruptly, mumbling something about needing more tape. As she closed the locker room door behind her, the glassiness in her eyes made the decision you had been struggling since the day before much easier.
After not finding the older woman in the most obvious spots, Y/N went to their spot, the little Video room for any last-minute adjustments. Alexia was sitting in the first row, right in front of the projector, as if she was waiting to watch a game tape.
The blonde had her head down, on her hands, shoulder shaking, and sobs barely muffled by her hands. Choking down her own sobs at how hurt Alexia was, Y/N made her was quickly through the room, sitting next to the Spaniard, pulling her into a hug.
“Shh… First, we get thought this, then we talk.” You whisper, cutting her protests.
With her safely tucked in your arms, you two stayed like until she was ready. Holding her for what felt like forever, Y/N felt more in peace than she had felt in the past months.
A small part of her brain kept reminding her that this was one of the most important game of their careers, but Alexia was far more important. It was almost a full hour before the Spaniard was ready, slowly untucking herself for the safe spot that hid her from the world. It was several minutes later before she even managed to look in your direction. It was even longer before she spoke.
“I’m sorry.” The blonde broke the silence, with her voice trembling and oh-so-quietly that Y/N had to strain her ears to hear it properly.
“Alexia…”
“No, I’m sorry. For everything, really. You deserve so much more than what I’ve done to you.” She whispered, before adding with a broken voice. “I-I hope the date yesterday went well.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m stupid.”
“Alexia.”
“I was scared. After Jenni, I was completely broken. Then I let myself open up and she broken me too. Hell, a part of me was still broken when you came along. In the beginning of the year, I promised myself that right now I just needed to focus in getting better, so I closed myself for any shred that could lead into something more. But then you came and made me yours without me even realizing. When I did, I got terrified. I-I was certain that you would break me too, but I couldn’t take it. Not from you.” She cried softly.
“So, you took a step back before I could do anything?”
“Yeah. I thought that if you didn’t know you couldn’t break me too.”
“Ale…”
“No, it’s okay. I can get over it, is not even your fault that I completely fucked everything up.”
“Well, I really hope you don’t. I spent almost the entire “date” yesterday talking to Lia about you, about how much I love you.” You said, caressing her jaw, getting yourself lost on her honey gaze.
“Oh…” She gasped. “But..”
“Well, we agreed on telling everyone it went well because we were not interested in doing that again, but with a stranger. Neither one of us were ready to move on.” You chuckled.
“Can I kiss you? Please?”
You nodded, leaning forward, and meeting her lips. In that moment, everything was right again. Hearing her breath get caught up, her hands caressing your waist, the warmness of her skin. Everything was Alexia. You were undoubtedly hers.
Getting lost on her was far too easy. It always was. It took you every ounce of self-awareness too pull back, only to be allowed after a shred of pecks and nips. Eyes closed, breathing the same puffs of air being expelled from your heavy breathing, you felt like you were dreaming again. Too afraid to open your eyes and wake up, you remain basking in her.
“Can I have another chance? I need to make it right, to be yours and make you mine forever.” Alexia asked, hazel eyes looking through heavy hoods, as if you’re the only thing in the world.
“I don’t know if I trust you.” You whisper, feeling you vision blur though unshed tears.
“That’s okay. I want to earn it back, it’s the most important thing for me. I want your permission to work for it, but if you don’t want it, I swear to leave you alone.”
“Don’t you dare doing that.” You tell her, kissing her cheek.
You two stay there for a few more minutes before getting up, finding you way back to a very panicked locker room. Turns out that vanishing for over an hour right before a match made everyone very worried.
Making up with Alexia was easily the peak of the day but beating Lyon and kicking them out of the Champions League in a packed Camp Nou, after losing to them on the away game, with you two having the game of your lives surely made its way as a second peak of what started out as a bad day.
The next few months were spent with you two thick as thieves once more, the team back on the comfortable routine. It was the next year’s pre-season when you gave her the green flag that you trusted her, and it was exactly a few after she gave you a bar of you favourite chocolate that she asked you to be her girlfriend. It was also then that she told you that she bought all the chocolate of her favourite store.
The Sun made you feel warm, loved, cared, cozy, at home, yourself and so many more things that you weren’t quite sure that could be described as feelings. But right now, buried under and completely surrounded by everything her on their home, Y/N would vow on whatever entity that existed that Alexia the Sun itself.
526 notes · View notes
forever-rogue · 8 months
Note
A little hurt to comfort request
A wannabe groupie makes comments about rockstar!eddie girlfriend (aka reader maybe plus-size!reader) eddie ofc defends his lady. But then reader starts feeling insecure about her looks and body she thinks she isn’t good enough for him. But he reassures her that she is the only one for him.
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AN | I hope this is okay! I feel like this would be me too, Eddie would be the best the best 🥰
Warnings | Language
Pairing | Rockstar!Eddie x PlusSized!Fem!Reader
Word Count | 4.1k
Masterlist | Main, Eddie 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It had been no secret that you’d been dating Eddie Munson for close to a year now. The Eddie Munson.  Sometimes it still felt like a dream, but then you'd wake up with him pulling you into his chest. 
Life was…pretty fucking good. Or pretty fucking metal as Eddie liked to say.
You'd never thought twice about the fact that you were dating him, or rather that he had chosen you. 
Not until, anyway, one night when you were at one of Corroded Coffin’s shows. It wasn’t odd for you to be there, but you usually watched from the front VIP area or remained backstage to watch everything. Today, something compelled you to go out in the thick of it all, to be with the crowd and experience it from a new angle. 
You were walking in with Jeff’s wife, the two of you holding beers as you went to your seating area. A few curious glances were sent your way, almost as if the people recognized the two of you but just couldn’t quite place you. That was probably exactly what was going on; it was nice to retain some sense of anonymity. 
The two of you siddled into your spots and you heard a burst of laughter coming from a few seats down. The noise was so loud and out of place that it caused you to look down the row. Much to your chagrin you found two women staring back at you, wicked smirks on their faces. 
They were exactly the type of women you expected to be at a rock concert. Scantily dressed with large fake breasts, fake tans, bleached hair and too make-up. These were the type of women that you found after trying to get in with the boys. Groupies, and they were shameless about it. 
You turned your attention back to Angela, but before you could fully do so, you heard a loud moo directed at you. Your breath caught in your throat as you heard them making very non-discreet and rude comments. They were directed at you, you knew that right away and they were making no point to hide it.
“Can you believe Eddie Munson is dating her?”
“She must be good at sucking dick because you know Eddie wouldn’t keep her around for anything else.”
“She’s clearly good at eating.”
“He could do so much better.”
“What a waste of space!”
“If you’re going to be a porker, you could at least try to look pretty.”
You felt tears prickling at the back of your eyes but tried to push away the feelings that were bubbling up. They were just words after all, they shouldn’t have any real effect on you, and yet…it was the worst feeling. Those girls were purposely being cruel and for no real reason. No reason other than the fact that they were jealous of the fact that you were dating Eddie. 
Angela picked up on your sudden mood shift, and gently put her hand on your arm, “what’s wrong, babe?”
“Nothing,” you lied so quickly that it was clearly not true. A frown settled on her features but you shook your head, “really, it’s fine.”
You could see that she was looking past you and down the row where the two girls were standing, looking smug as can be, “was it them? Did they do something?”
“No - nothing,” you dropped your voice to what you hoped was only what she could hear so they didn’t make anything worse, “just felt a little odd for a few minutes. It’ll pass soon.”
“If you’re sure…” she was a good friend and would have done anything for you, just as you would for her. You took a sip of your beer and tried to put on what you thought would be a convincing smile. 
“Of course!” you had never been more thankful for the band to come out and play. You watched the boys struck onto stage, Eddie looking every bit the showman. Your heart fluttered slightly at the sight of him, “c’mon let’s get this show started!”
It wasn't entirely enough to take your mind off everything, but at least you experienced the momentary happiness of getting Eddie on stage. 
You tried to ignore the horrible girls that continued to make comments throughout the show. But it was fuckin’ hard.
Once the show ended, you allowed the crowd around you to disperse and leave, remaining behind so you could make your way backstage quietly. You really didn’t want to see or be around anyone else right now, especially not ones that were going to throw horrible comments at you. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Once the crowd had thinned out, you followed Angela to the back of the stadium. At least you had the promise of getting to see Eddie soon. She was talking about something but you were only half listening. There were tons of people, girls and guys, hanging around the dressing rooms, trying to sneak their way inside. Luckily the security was good and they kept prying eyes and nosey nancies away. 
The guards recognized both of you now and there wasn’t even a need to show your passes. Eddie must have somehow sensed your presence because he opened the door as soon as you were near it. His entire face lit up as soon as he saw you, the beautiful and brilliant smile making its appearance as he studied you. Before you could even say anything, his brows furrowed and eyes grew worried.
"What's wrong?" and you had to fight the fresh wave of tears that threatened to well up. He gently took your face in his hands as he tried to figure out what was wrong.
"N-nothing," you lied and he was able to see right through it. It was the soft look on his face that caused it all to be too much and the tears spilled over. Eddie's touch was nothing short of reverent as he wiped them away, "its nothing, I'm just being dumb."
"It's not nothing if it's making you feel this way," he insisted but you pulled out of his touch and ducked into his dressing room. Angela saw what was going on and walked over to Eddie, "what's going on?"
"There were girls," she explained, "sitting near us. They were making horrible and rude comments about her. Totally unnecessary and I think they really got to her."
"What the fuck-"
"Yeah," she nodded sadly, looking around to see who was hanging around. And, to no surprise at all, the girls were trying to sweet talk their way backstage. Angela grabbed his hand and pointed in their direction, "them! It was the two of them."
A furious look crossed his features as he pulled away from her. Despite the whole bad boy image, Eddie was really soft and kind. But this had brought up a while different type of emotion and Angela had never seen him so mad.
"Hey," he barked at the girls, who immediately pushed to get to him. Little did they know they were not going to like what he had to say to them. The one that had instigated everything came forward and batted her eyelashes at him.
"Hi Eddie-"
"Which one of you was talking shit about my girlfriend?" Their faces paled as they exchanged nervous looks. Eddie raised an eyebrow, "huh? Not so brave now, are we?"
"We didn't say anything mean," the other one lied, "we were just talking. She probably misunderstood."
"Bull-fucking-shit," he shook his head, curls bouncing widely, "I know your type, you're just rude to others for no reason. What did you think you were going to get out of being bitches?"
"Listen, we didn't do-"
"I know you did," he glared at them, "did you think we'd somehow break up and one of you had a chance with me? Are you that fucking stupid?"
"We didn't mean anything by it…"
"Well, that's lovely but you did what you did," he took a step back and shook his head at them, "you're never allowed at another Corroded Coffin show. I'll make sure of that. And if this ever happens and I get word of it, I won't be as nice. Clear?"
Neither of them managed to say anything, only nodding dumbly before turning around and practically running away. Eddie told his security to make sure to get their information so he could make sure they were banned from any future shows.
"You're a good man," Angela squeezed his shoulder before turning around to find Jeff.
Eddie took a deep breath before letting himself into his dressing room. His heart broke a little bit when he saw you sitting on the couch, eyes red from crying. 
"Baby," he came over and sat down next to you, attempting to wrap his arm around your shoulders. You flinched out from under his touch and shook your head at him, hastily wiping away the rest of your half-dried tears. His heart ached; you’d never shied away from his touch before, “what’s wrong? Please just…tell me. Let me make it better. I talked to those girls-”
“It’s not…” you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed, “it’s not just them. It’s just…me.”
“You? How is it you?’ he crossed his arms over his chest, pale skin covered in various ink, “you know I’m not going to quit asking until you tell me. I’m a stubborn bastard, you know that.”
“Look at yourself,” you gestured to him and confusion marred his features as he looked at himself. He was still sweaty, in desperate need of a post show shower, only wearing a pair of skinny jeans and his beat up sneakers. He shrugged as you huffed, “now look at me.”
He looked you over, the same look as always in his eyes. You were gorgeous and he honestly had no clue what you were going on about, “umm…baby, you’re beautiful. You know that.”
“No,” you stood up and shook your head, “I’m…fuck, Eddie, you have eyes, I’m not skinny and I don’t look like all those other girls who throw themselves at you. I’m-”
“Fuck that,” he shook his head, “so what? I love that you don’t look like any of them, I don’t want them - I want you. I love you, baby, all of you.”
“You could have someone better,” you turned your back to him and hid your face in your hands. Eddie didn’t even know how to possibly respond because you were so wrong - so wrong, “someone that looks good like you and that deserves you.”
“I don’t know how else to tell you this, but I don’t want anyone else but you,” Eddie’s hands found your shoulders as he gently turned you around, so he could properly look at you. He put a finger under your chin and turned your face up to his. He hated seeing you cry and even more he hated the idea that you could ever think so lowly of yourself. You were everything to him and he wished he could make you understand that, “only you. You’re it for me, baby.”
You knew Eddie, and you knew that he wasn’t lying to you. But it still didn’t help the feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness that was settling into the back of your mind. Instead of arguing with him or pushing the issue further all you could do was nod in response, “me too, Eddie. You’re it for me too.”
He relaxed slightly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Despite Eddie’s reassurances, the run in at his show stuck with you. You weren’t able to completely shake off the feelings that those cruel words had brought up. Despite trying to hide them and pretending that they weren’t there in order to trick yourself into letting them go, nothing worked. Instead, it just kept getting worse and worse and you found yourself drifting apart from Eddie. 
You felt like you were suddenly aware of every single time someone else looked at him, or read too much into everything that was said to him. You couldn’t help but think that he deserved someone better, someone different - someone that wasn’t you. You wanted only the best for the man you loved so much. 
That’s how you made the hardest decision of your life. 
Eddie practically bounded to the door when he heard the silly little knock that the two of you had come up with. He wasn’t expecting you, but he was always more than happy to see you. He threw open the door, ready to wrap you up in his arms.
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the somber expression on your face. You caught his eye for just a moment, looking away and staring at your feet, “h-hey.”
“What’s wrong?” of course he dove right into it; not that you could blame him. If the roles were reversed, you’d probably be doing the same thing, “baby?”
“L-listen,” you swallowed thickly, “I’m sorry to do this so late, but umm…I think - I think we should break up.”
“What?” his doe eyes grew wide as you rocked back and forth on your heels before stepping back from him. Eddie ran a hand through his dark curls, trying to rationalize why you were suddenly breaking up with him. He never once thought about the two of you breaking up; in his mind it was forever, and that’s what he had always planned on, “what are you talking about?”
“I’m breaking up with you,” your words caught in your throat and it sounded even more harsh and choked. This time you hadn’t even bothered to hold back your tears, instead they fell down your cheeks and landed onto the marble of the apartment building’s floor, “I can’t date you anymore, Eddie.”
Eddie was a smart man; it didn’t take him long to put two and two together. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his tired face, “can’t date me or won’t  date me?”
“What’s the difference?” you threw up your hands in exasperation.
“You know what it is,” you groaned. You loved his tenacity but right now you just wished he’d accept what you were saying, “either way, Eddie, this is over.”
“Baby,” he tried to grab your arms but you just pulled away, “baby. Is this about what happened a few weeks ago?”
“No,” the blatant lie was obvious, “I just…I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
“Give me one good reason,” he asked, some desperation creeping into his voice despite how cool he was trying to play it, “give me one good reason why we can’t be together.”
You looked at him, squarely in the face, “I don’t love you.”
And that, those four simple words, cut deeper than anything he would have expected. He knew - or at least desperately hoped - that you were lying to him. Right? Right? The last three years you’d spent together couldn’t all have been a lie, surely. The love you said was real…it couldn’t just have been pretend. That might have actually killed him.
“That’s a lie,” he said through gritted teeth as you shrugged at him, “please, wait, I…we can talk about this and figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” your voice was barely audible as you created an even larger distance between the two of you, “it’s done.”
Eddie watched silently as you walked towards the elevator. When you stepped inside you turned around so you could face him before pressing the button for the lobby. 
“I’m sorry,” was the last thing he heard you say before the doors closed, “I’m sorry.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It felt like an eternity since you’d last seen Eddie. In reality, it had only been four months, but it felt like the longest time in your life. Every day without him felt achingly long and dreadful. The fact that he was famous and you had to see him in magazines, on TV, in advertisements and posters didn’t help. In some ways it was a small comfort getting to see him, but it also made your heart ache more for him. 
You had been tempted to go to his apartment and explain and try and work it out but you stopped yourself. All of this was because of you; and now you had to live with the consequences of your actions. The fact that he was on tour again helped your dilemma slightly - he wasn’t going to be home. 
Even if you were miserable, you hoped that he would be happy. He would find someone that was worthy of his love and that matched him as best as possible. Someone that wasn’t you. Maybe one day you would have your turn too…maybe.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You groaned as you heard knocking at the door. You set down your glass with a huff before pausing the movie you were watching. You’d already gotten the pizza you ordered and had no clue what this could have been. Whatever it i was, it better have been worth getting off the couch.
“Hang on,” you called out before opening the door; you didn’t even bother to look to see who it was before opening, “what?”
“Hi,” and there stood Eddie Munson. A small, tired half smile was on his face; he looked like he’d just come from a show, that similar glow on his face, “h-hi there.”
“Eddie?” you asked softly as though it wasn’t obvious that he was standing right there in your hallway. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before leaning against the doorframe in disbelief, “w-what are you doing here?”
“I was just in the neighborhood-”
“Bullshit,” you cut him off softly, “you’ve been on tour. I thought your last show was tomorrow night?”
“Still keeping track, huh?” he teased as warmth crept into your cheeks before offering him a single affirmative nod, "the last show was umm…tomorrow but I just…I wanted to see…you."
"Me?" You pointed at yourself and he nodded with a smile, "why? After everything I said and did. I was awful to you."
"It wasn't you," he stated simply, "I mean it was you but it was…circumstances."
"Eddie-"
"Can I come in?" You stepped to the side and motioned for him to come in. Once inside, he took a look around the familiar space, feeling more at home than he had in a long time. You went into the living room and plopped on the couch. He sat down on the other end, keeping a bit of distance between your bodies, "so…"
"What are you doing here, Eddie?" you allowed yourself one little look at his face. He looked tired and run down, but there was an expression of fierce determination on his face.
"I'm here to see you," he was never one to beat around the bush, "and I guess…asking you to take me back."
Your tummy erupted in butterflies and your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest. You turned to him, "I - what…you want me to take you back?"
"It's been four months and everyday has fucking sucked," he admitted, letting out a shaky little exhale, "and its because you're not there. I…my life isn't complete without you."
"But…I," he really had to go and be the best man ever. You smiled softly at him, "why would you want to be with me?"
"Are you kidding me?" He sounded offended, as though the answer was so obvious. To him it was obvious - you were everything to him. You looked at him, searching his pretty brown eyes, "babe, I'm in love with you. Everything about you, I'm so fucking in love with you it scares me some times. I don't want anyone but you. Like ever."
"But…"
"But what?" He asked gently as you searched for the right words, "tell me, baby."
"You deserve better."
"Why?"
"'cause," you shrugged him off but he wasn't going to have it.
"Nuh uh," he moved even closer and reached for your hand, "I'm not going to let it go until you give me a real answer."
"Look at me, Eddie!" You hung your head before sighing heavily, "I'm not skinny and pretty like all those other girls! You could have any and every single one of them. They'd be so much better for you and they'd be more like you. You'd have someone that deserves you."
"Is that what…baby, is that what this has been about?" He had his light bulb moment but it was a harsh reality. This was still bugging you for so long and he hadn't even realized, "you should have…fuck, I'm so sorry I didn't realize."
"It's not like you can fix anything," you wiped at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater, "I am what I am and I don't want to feel like I'm holding you back."
"Fuck that," he shook his head, "I barely deserve you, you're so much…you're everything. I know you don't look like some of those other girls, but so what? You're gorgeous, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I don't want anyone else."
"What if you change your mind one day?"
"I hate to break it to you, but that's never going to happen," he promised, "I love you and that's it. Nothing else matters. If anyone has anything to say, fuck 'em. They don't matter."
"Eddie…"
"Here," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, holding it out to you. You raised an eyebrow but took it gently and opened. Staring back at you was a beautiful diamond ring. Your mouth dropped open in surprise as you looked at him, "yeah. I was, ugh, I was actually planning on asking you before you broke up with me."
"You were going to ask me to marry you?" Your voice cracked as you came to the realization that he really was in it forever. Not that you had any reason to ever doubt him, it was the voices in your head that grew too loud. 
"Yeah," he whispered, his own throat thick with emotion, "I just…I wanted you to know."
"I'm sorry," you closed the box and handed it back to him slowly, "really, Eddie. I went and fucked things up."
"No, you didn't," he promised, touching your cheek, "your feelings are valid. Even though I don't agree with how you've been feeling about yourself. It also makes me mad that those girls, or anyone, would ever say something like that about anyone else. It's immature and just shows their own insecurities."
"Thank you," you put your hand on his wrist and squeezed gently, "you're the best, I hope you know that."
"I do," there was a playful little smile on his face, "because there's this amazing woman that constantly reminds me of that."
"You silly man," you couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled, "someone is going to be very lucky to have you one day."
"Yeah, I sure hope so," he snorted in amusement, "and I hope it's you."
"Me?!" 
"Of course," he was beaming at you and it was enough to make your entire body feel like jelly, "did you really think you were just going to get rid of me like that?"
"I should have known better," your heart felt lighter than it had in months, "you're a stubborn man, Eddie Munson."
"Maybe so," he traced his fingers along your jaw and down your neck, "I'm also stubborn enough to think that you might still marry me."
"I think that might be something that could happen," and yeah, you were definitely and madly in love with this man, "its definitely in the cards."
"Hmm," he mused gently, "well, it's getting pretty late…I guess I should get going."
"Stay," you held onto his arm and kept him anchored towards you, "stay."
"Are you sure?" 
"Positive," you nodded, never more sure than anything else, "please."
"I love you, baby. So much."
"I love you too, Eddie. So, so much."
554 notes · View notes
missugu · 1 year
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sleepy - buddha | record of ragnarok
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⊹︎ in which: buddha falls asleep under his favorite tree and really doesn’t want to let you go
⊹︎ warnings: none, fluff
⊹︎ word count: 1.08k
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the air was chilled as it drifted by. goosebumps rising in the wake of the breeze on your skin.
it wasn’t too much yet. just a slight discomfort creeping slowly in, you could definitely ignore it. especially when your mind was pulled away from the cold, your attention shifting to the man lying beneath you.
he’d moved for a moment, his legs tangling with yours even more than they had before. for a second you weren’t sure if he’d woken up, but once he stilled again you got your answer.
trying your best you moved to look up at him, wanting to capture his face as he rested.
buddha was so pretty, especially with the tiniest of smiles that pulled at his lips when he slept. today was no different and you found your eyes glued to him.
warm light shining through the leaves of the branches above you danced with the shadows on his fair skin. his hair fell from the large messy bun on top his head, framing his face in the prettiest way. you couldn’t help but try to paint the image in your mind.
it was hard to memorize every detail of someone though, even if you’d seen him like this a thousand times before. every time you looked at him as he slept under the great oak tree he loved dearly you noticed something new, and today it was his glasses.
usually buddha liked to take them off before sleeping, just in case he were to roll over, but he nodded off too quickly this time. they rested nicely against the bridge of his nose, the right side dipping slightly lower than the left. you’d never known they were crooked, it brought a smile to your face.
slowly you took the glasses from his face, trying your best to not disturb him. once you placed them to your side you brought your hand back to his face, cupping his cheek ever so gently.
his skin was soft and just a bit cold. you hummed quietly, tracing your thumb across his cheekbone you wondered if he even felt the wind getting colder.
“what’re you doin’?”
you jumped at his voice. he hadn’t even opened his eyes so you figured he was still soundly asleep.
“don’t scare me like that,” you breathed out, feeling your heart pick up its pace a bit now. removing your hand from his face you pushed back a little. “i thought you were sleeping.”
“mmm, sorry.” buddha smiled and opened his eyes just enough to take in your face. “you can keep touchin’ me, i don’t mind.”
“when did you wake up?” you ignored his teasing even though it widened your smile as well.
“not sure.” he couldn’t remember exactly, but he knew it was before you woke up. his hand that had been resting on your hip moved up, running up and down your upper arm slowly. “you’re cold.”
“mhm.” you leaned back into him pressing your lips against his softly, only staying for a second you pulled away before he could respond.
“heyy.” he pouted, bottom lip pushing out in a dramatic fashion only he could pull off. “that was rude. don’t tease me with a fake kiss.”
“i’ll give you a real kiss if we can go back inside?” you offered, hoping he’d catch what your were trying to say. the sun had almost fully set now, there was barely any light coming over the horizon and it was starting to get even colder. you hadn’t dressed very warm.
“m’comfy here.” buddha yawned loudly, moving his arm to tuck you in close to him. “i can warm you up if you want.”
“or we could go inside?” you countered, pushing your hands against his chest trying to get out of his hold that was only growing tighter. “it’ll be much warmer in your room.”
“hmmm.” he opened looked up at you through heavily lidded eyes, you knew he was starting to fall asleep again.
“fine, you stay here and i’ll go sleep in your bed.” you sighed, still trying to get out of his arms.
“nooo, i’ll go with you.” he mumbled, pulling you back down against his chest fully. “gimme five more minutes here.”
“deal.” you gave in, knowing that he wasn’t going to budge. “only five minutes, then your room, okay?”
“‘kay.” that was all he answered, shutting his eyes once more.
“can we bring a blanket out here next time?” you rested your head against him, tucking it neatly under his chin. you could feel his breathing slowing and you weren’t sure if he’d heard you.
“m’not warm enough for you?” he teased though he was starting to feel the chill himself now.
“nope, sorry. i might have to find another god that is hotter.” you teased back and immediately you felt his body grow warmer.
“that is not happening.” buddha sounded serious now, but you could still hear an amused undertone in his voice.
“no it’s not.” you mirrored his words, pushing up to press your lips against his once more. this time you stayed, waiting for him to respond to the soft kiss.
you could taste the lingering flavor of blueberry on his lips, and you didn’t have to tease him this time, he lazily kissed you back in such a way that was special to him. it still never failed to twist your stomach into butterflies and pick up your heartbeat just enough for you to feel it in your chest.
“i thought you were gonna to wait until we went in.” he mused, his warm breath drifting on your lips once you finally pulled away.
“i changed my mind.” you closed the gap between your lips and kissed him again, your tongue parting his lips slightly to dance with his. you treasured the small moan you coaxed from him, but only for a moment before you pulled away abruptly, using his distraction as a chance to slip out of his hold.
“oh you’re mean.” buddha stared up at you, pouting once more, he couldn’t believe you’d tricked him like that.
you only smiled innocently down at him, knowing that was enough to make him decide to get up. he slowly accepted the hand you offered to him, smiling when you immediately laced your hands together.
“c’mon, i’m freezing.”
“yeah, yeah.” buddha shook his head at you before being your hand up to press a small kiss to the back of it. “let’s go warm you up.”
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1K notes · View notes
sweatervest-obsessed · 4 months
Text
Never Gone
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
WC: 3.8k
TW: S4 Stranger Things triggers, drams, blood, injuries, migraines, Swearing
A/N: Based off of this request. I had a lot of fun writing this request! Thank you so much for asking me to write it. I haven't written Steve in a hot minute, so that was really nice to revisit him <3
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When Steve heard that you had headaches, he almost didn't think anything of it---keyword is almost. 
You had always been one to get migraines, and this was exactly that time of month anyways. First of the month, migraine. It was like clock work. 
Which was ironic to you considering it felt like ticking was nonstop in your head the past week. 
Luckily for you, it was a Saturday, and you could stay in bed. You hadn't been scheduled at the library, and your dad was running around, chauffeuring your sister, so the house was empty and you could die slowly in your bed from your headache. 
Steve didn't even knock, he just slid the window up, and crawled through to your bed. 
"Hey gorgeous." 
You hummed a response as he took his shoes off and slid into your bed. He was dressed in his yellow sweater and sweatpants. He knew he was coming over to lay in bed with you all day, and nothing else. 
When he wrapped his arms around you, you moved in closer to him, your face against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was calming---sometimes it felt like it was melting the headache away. 
"How's your head baby?" His voice was soft and low, as he ran his hand up and down your back. 
"Feels like it's pulsing my brains out of my ears, so nothing new." 
He placed his lips on your forehead. 
The two of you stayed like that for a while, listening to one another's heartbeats, just enjoying each other's company. 
“Steve?” 
“Hmm?” 
“How’s Max doing?” You whispered to him. 
He tensed up a little bit. It’s not that he wasn’t thinking about the red headed girl down in the Wheeler’s basement, it’s just that you didn’t exactly know what was going on with the kids he ‘babysat’, and he didn’t want you to find out either. 
“She’s–uh, She’s been better. She’s still, uh, sick. Really bad head…..” His voice trailed off as he stared down at you. 
You gently called his name as he trailed off into thought. 
His eyes widened as his heart started to beat a little faster. This was just your usual monthly migraine right? You always got these—there was nothing out of the ordinary….right? Were you hearing ticking? Were you having nightmares? What if you—-
“Steve?” 
His eyes were wide, and you could feel how shallow his breathing was. “Hey–hey, I’m sorry I brought her up.”
He shook his head and looked down at you. “How’s your headache?” 
You shrugged and slid your hand up to cup his cheek. Your thumb ran gently across his face, looking into his eyes to see if you could find anything wrong. 
“I wish you’d stop ignoring me and answer.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows and paused. “Steve I did…”
“No.” He huffed and pulled away. “All you did was shrug. That’s not a real answer.” 
“Steve.” 
He sat up and moved away from the bed. “I shouldn’t have come here today. I have so much shit do today other than to sit in bed with you while you bitch and moan about your head.” 
Steve had shocked you into silence as your eyes began to well with tears. 
“Oh great. And now you’re crying. Did you ever realize how fucking annoying it is to constantly have to cheer you up all the time. Don’t you think I have other things going on in my life that need me more than you do when you’re sobbing about fucking anything.” 
“What the actual fuck steve.” 
Steve was sliding on his shoes. “You know what, y/n? I don’t need this bullshit. I don’t need your bullshit.” 
“Wait—” 
“No Y/n. Wake up.” 
You froze and frowned. “What?” 
“Y/N!”
Your eyes shot open and you were suddenly back to your position where you had been previously, laying down, tucked securely in Steve Harrington’s loving embrace. 
“I–” You went to speak but you noticed Steve’s eyes were suddenly filled with that worry from before, but there was something else starting to cloud over—fear. 
“What did you see?” 
“What?” 
“What. Did. You. See.”
“Fucking pushy harrington.” You grumbled as you pulled away slightly. 
“Y/n…” 
Your eyes rolled as you looked up at him. “It was just a daydream Steve. A bad one. W—We were, uh, arguing.” 
“About?” 
You shook your head. “Nothing Steve, really. Just something stupid my brain made up.” 
“I–.” Steve bit his lip and sat up. “I need to make a call real quick.” He was out of your bed before you realized what was happening, and was suddenly across the room at your desk where your phone was. He picked it up and quickly dialed a number. All the while, you were sitting up on your elbows, watching him. Your headache was not going away which wasn’t uncommon, but rarely did they stay this bad for this long. 
Steve was muttering into the phone, clutching it really tightly. Every now and again, he’d look over at you. You’d furrow your brow and he would seem to get even more worried than before. You had caught some of the words, like Max and No Absolutely Not, no I’m serious Dustin it’s not happening.
You were beyond confused as to why Steve was talking to the kid he babysat, or why he even called him in the first place, but all you knew was that your head hurt, and Steve, who was usually your rock, was getting all jumpy and acting really fucking weird.
Once he hung up the phone he gave you a sheepish smile. “So, uh…” 
“What’s going on Steve?” 
“We’re taking a field trip.” 
You snorted laid back down, not entertaining this anymore. 
“I’m serious Y/n.” 
“I think you’re delusional but okay.” 
“Please.” 
You sat up once more and looked at him. Something about the concern he felt about your little maladaptive daydream, made you slightly worried about your headache. But he loved you, and if it would make him feel better about it, you’d humor his worry. 
“Fine. But we’re stopping by the diner and we’re getting food and shakes before we go where we’re going because I want something to eat.” 
“Okay but, we really don’t—”
“No Steve. That’s my final offer. Either I get my milkshake, or I’m staying in this bed.” 
He huffed from across the room, but walked over and sat down next to you on the bed, taking your hand. “Fine. If it will get you out of bed.” He was feigning annoyance, but you could see the mild relief in his eyes at you agreeing to indulge his anxieties, with little to know explanation from him.
—-------------------------------------------------------
“Seriously Steve?” 
“Please, just…” 
“Just what? You bring me to the Wheeler’s basement, filled with a bunch of children, including your ex-girlfriend and my former best friend, all the while knowing I have a raging migraine happening, and then you expect me to not ask any questions.” 
“Well–”
“No Steve. Seriously. Then you go and try to tell me that you’re going out with a really weird group of people, no offense guys.” You didn’t even glance at the group staring at you both. “To go what…traversing into the woods to look for someone who has serial killer allegations, and you want me to come with you, with not a single explanation as to why.” 
“He’s not a serial killer–” Dustin tried to cut in but you shot him a glare. 
“If you heard me Henderson, I said allegations. Might want to turn on those listening ears.” You turned back to Steve. “Tell me what’s going on, or I’m just going home Steve. I’m seriously not in the mood to deal with this.” 
Steve was just looking at you, alongside the rest of the group. This felt so out of character for you to be so openly bitchy in front of people, and you had never had an issue with Nancy before. You’ve actually always really liked Nancy so why now? 
“Y/N. Please…” 
You scoffed and shook your head. “Drive me home or I’m walking.” 
“You can’t be serious right now.” 
You didn’t even dignify that with a response, you just turned around and walked right up the stairs. Steve, who was just as exasperated as you, looked between his friends and they all were unsure what to do. It’s not like they wanted to drag someone else into their messy world, but they didn’t want you to die just like the rest of those poor high schoolers. 
When they all heard the front door slam shut, Steve jumped at the sound and then quickly ran up the stairs and followed. 
Y/n
You could hear as Steve called your name, but you kept on walking. You were so in your own world, you completely missed where you were walking. You fell and hit the ground hard. When you looked at your hands, they were covered in dirt and grime, which was unexpected for Mr. Wheeler’s lawn, but you didn’t think anything of it until you looked back up and the sky was red. You heard your name again but it wasn’t Steve’s voice, it was grovelley and at least four octaves deeper. Yet you still called out for Steve anyway, hoping he might be there. 
Why would he chase after you? He doesn't care about you. 
You looked up at the..thing…in front of you and shook your head, trying to escape whatever hellscape your mind conjured up. 
But the voice wouldn’t leave you alone. It said your name again, and you got up off the ground, taking off. You didn’t dare to look behind you as you ran through this wasteland. Your heart was beating irregularly fast and you went and hid behind a building, trying not to breathe heavily as tears slid down your cheeks. When you looked around you realized you were close to Steve’s neighborhood. It was some sort of fucked up version of Hawkins. 
You really think I can’t find you Y/n?
You whipped around, coming face to face with one of the grossest things you could possibly imagine. It was like all of his flesh had been burned off and the skin that grew back, grew back like vines, twisting flesh and muscle. His eyes were the scariest part, since they looked right at you, as if you were a piece of meat. 
You slowly backed away from whatever this thing was, but your heel caught the curb, and down you went—landing hard on back, your head hitting the ground. There was definitely going to be bruising afterwards. You landed on your wrist, causing you to scream out in pain. 
Whenever you were little and had sleepovers with your friends, your favorite game was “Never Have I Ever”. It’s not that you were boring, you actually enjoyed showing off how much you had done as you got older. But your starter was always “Never have I ever broken a bone”. Not anymore. 
The crack was audible. 
“Y/n!” 
Your eyes opened and you were on the ground in front of the Wheeler’s—your wrist bruised, and head pounding. Steve was crouched in front of you, one of his hands on your cheeks and nothing but pure fear in his eyes. 
“Holy shit.” He whispered, yanking you into his chest and holding you tightly. He felt you start to shake as you silently cried into his shirt, overwhelmed by the pain you felt and by what you had seen. 
“Shit shit shit.” Steve’s hand was fisted in your shirt and his hand in your hair. 
Your head was on his shoulder, and as you opened your eyes, you made eye contact with Max. Her walkman was in her hands, as if she was ready to shove it at someone. Max didn’t look like everyone else in the group, she seemed sadder, more resigned. Something you felt you could resonate with. 
You couldn;t see them, but you knew the group of kids on the other side of Steve were whispering to one another. Dustin cleared his throat. 
“Why don’t we go back inside, yeah? We need to look at her wrist.” 
Steve muttered something in agreement, and pulled back slightly, both hands still holding onto you. “Are you okay?” 
“My wrist.” you whispered, flinching just thinking about it. You decided you’d tell Steve about what you saw later. Right now, you really wanted to wrap your wrist up, and lay down. 
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Steve, you've got to be joking.” 
Usually when Steve would huff out of frustration, you’d find it cute and endearing, but right now you found it annoying. 
“Why would I lie to you about this?” 
“I-I don’t know but I think you’re hanging out with kids too much—no offense.” 
The kids muttered various forms of protest and agreements, but it was Robin who spoke up next. 
“You have no idea how much I wish he was lying—like when I first found out it was in a secret russian base and  I honestly didn’t even know what was happening and then we got tortured and—all that to say–it’s real.” 
“Is this the shit Eddie was telling me about? The new strain or whatever, that ‘hits different’. Are you giving kids drugs Steve?” 
Steve let out a groan and dragged a hand down his face. “I can’t.” 
You crossed your arms, which was a bit more difficult considering your arm was wrapped up tightly with gauze, and fitted in one of Mike’s old wrist braces. “You have to hear yourselves right? Think about it from my point of view. You’re telling me you're friends with this…girl, who has telekinetic powers, and that's the reason that Byers kid went missing, and then you’ve fought different otherworldly monsters each year since? And now, you’re fighting this Veneca, Vatican, whatever bullshit guy, who is actually murdering people and the town drug dealer is taking the fall for it?” 
Everyone in the basement was silent. 
“She’s got a point, we sound fucking crazy.” Max was the first to speak up. 
“Language.” Steve muttered. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the whole time you’ve been down here. He was watching you as if you’d disappear. 
“I don’t know what you want me to say. You all sound crazy.” 
Steve looked over at Robin, and they had one of those really annoying silent conversations. You looked between the two, trying to figure out whatever they were thinking. 
Just then, Robin got up from her seat. “Alright kids, let’s head upstairs for a moment. Give these two some time to figure this shit out. “
The collective of children groaned, but Nancy helped to corral them, giving you a sympathetic smile as she went up the stairs behind the gaggle, closing the door softly. 
Steve had moved to sit down next to you, pulling you down so your head was in his lap. And before you could make a snarky comment about it, his hand was in your hair, playing with it, but also massaging your head. His other arm rests across your stomach with his hand on your hip, rubbing his thumb up and down soothingly. 
The two of you stayed like this for a couple of minutes: you were destressing, and him reassuring himself that you were alive and in front of him. He was humming your favorite song under his breath, causing you to smile a bit. 
“I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it’s true.”
“I want to believe you Steve but…”
He sighed and nodded. “Remember last summer?” 
You closed your eyes and nodded slightly, images of Steve’s face and body flashed across your mind. His entire face was bruised, and his torso…you didn’t like to think about it. You draped your arm across his and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “How could I forget Steve. You looked like you were beaten to death.” 
“It was from the Russians Dustin was talking about.” 
You frowned and looked up at him. “Steve….” 
“Look, you don’t have to think it’s real, you can call me fucking crazy for all I care, but I really just need you to trust me—humor me if you have to. But I can’t….I can’t lose you y/n. So please just…indulge me and….”
“Does it really mean this much to you?” 
Steve nodded. “Please.” 
“Alright baby. What do you need me to do? “
_____________________________________________________
You didn’t see Steve for the next forty-eight hours, and it worried the shit out of you. 
You were not one to believe in all that bullshit story Dustin and the others were trying to tell you about, but you knew something was wrong since Steve had literally disappeared. 
You were still having headaches, but you listened to your favorite song over and over and over again, as much as you could. Luckily for you, you had a few blank cassette tapes, and a new stereo that held up to four cassettes. So you loaded your favorite song on a loop onto three of them, and then your favorite album  onto the fourth, to add some variety. And you had been playing those on repeat for the past two days, just like Steve had told you to. When he didn’t show up the next day like he promised, you grabbed your walkman and your stereo, and drove over to Steve’s house, just to find it empty. 
So you stayed there for the next twenty four hours, and that’s when the earthquake hit. It was terrifying, waking up and watching as everything went crashing to the ground. All you could do was think about your parents, think about Steve. 
It wasn’t until eleven pm when you heard the front door open. You had been sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one of Steve’s sweaters, near the fireplace since the power had gone out because of the earthquake. He looked up at you, and you swore you could commit murder at the sight of him. 
“Oh my god Steve. What the fuck happened to you.” You were by his side before he could even respond. Your fingers gently flit around his face, taking in all of the scraps, and then moving to his neck, where you could see the angry red skin flowering with bruises underneath. 
Steve loved you for so many reasons, but right now, he loved you the most for not asking questions. You didn’t ask him about the weird combat outfit. You didn’t ask him why he was covered in dirt. You didn’t ask him why his neck looked like barbed wire had been around it, and you didn’t ask about the fact that he was limping. 
You just slowly cupped his face in your hands, and kissed him softly. There wasn't any sort of push to make this kiss more than it was. It was just simply to tell him you love him. A reminder he’s with you. 
“Can you make it up the stairs?” 
He nodded and you took his hand, taking into account how bruised and scraped up his hands were. 
“I was so worried about you. They kept finding bodies and then….the…”
He nodded, still not speaking. If he opened his mouth he would start sobbing, and never stop, and he didn’t want to burden you with that just yet. 
You opened the bathroom door in his parents room, and walked him inside. You both were smart enough to make him take his shoes off before making your way upstairs, one less thing to clean up. But you made him sit on the toilet, as you slowly took a look at his injuries in a better light. You slowly helped him out of his jacket, noticing that it took a lot more effort than usual, since he was wincing, and even hissed out in pain during one particularly sharp movement. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” 
“Harrington, I’m seriously not in the mood for how you downplay everything.” 
He bit his lip and shook his head. “I’ll be in bed in a few minutes. Why don’t you go get ready.” 
You raked your eyes over him, not enjoying the sheer amount of blood splatter on his clothes and shook your head. “No I’m—”
“Please.” 
When his voice cracked, you caved. You leaned over and kissed his forehead. “If you need me for anything Steve, and I mean anything ... .Please call for me.” 
He nodded and took your hand in his. “I’ll be five minutes max I swear.” 
You whispered an okay to him before you left him alone in the bathroom, heading back downstairs. You grabbed the bottle of vodka from the cabinet along with some of the cranberry juice Steve had bought you at the beginning of the week, and then a bag of his favorite chips, and headed back upstairs. You had a gut feeling he hadn’t eaten in a while, and that he was in a lot of pain. 
Ten minutes later, he appeared in the doorway. You were in his bed, under the covers, head resting against his pillows, softly in sleep. 
He tried to quietly get into bed without waking you up—he failed. Not because he was loud, but because you always knew when he got into bed next to you. 
“Sorry sweetheart.” he whispered, his voice hoarse. 
You shook your head and went to curl up in his chest, but he shifted slightly and adjusted your hands so they weren’t touching his stomach. You decided to continue to hold in your questions once he had gotten some sleep. 
“How’s your headache?” 
“It’s gone.” You whispered, kissing his shoulder. “You need some sleep Stevie.” 
“I–..” He closed his eyes and licked his lips. “I was so worried I was going to lose you today.” 
“Steve…” 
He shook his head, and you let him finish. “And then…I thought…I was going to die without ever telling you just how much I fucking love you.” 
Tears filled your eyes immediately. “Steve. I–”
He kissed your lips softly, not letting you get your words out. You could taste your tears in the kiss, but then you realized you werent the one crying. You felt a sob wrack his body, and you immediately kissed him back with more force, more love. 
When you pulled away, you rested your forehead on his. Whatever he had just endured, whatever he was going to tell you about when you both woke up, was an issue for later. Right now, all you had to do was hold him in your arms, and be so grateful that you could. 
But while Steve fell asleep, you just played with his hair, staying up for the second night in a row. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was that creature, looming over you and laughing. The clock still ticking in the back of your mind. You could hear his laughter as he told you to give up. 
250 notes · View notes
neonghostlights · 7 months
Text
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★ A/N: Thank you to @fracturedarkness for being such an amazing friend and reading this for me and making me feel better about my writing. You’re the best.
★ Series Summary: It’s the ‘90s in LA and you and your best friend Eddie have both made it big. The following is a series of Interviews, News Reports and One Shots showing you and Eddie’s story throughout the years.
★ Chapter Summary: Eddie gets interviewed.
★ Warnings: Drug use, hickies, allusion to drinking, cussing, violent outburst. 18+ only, minors DNI.
★ Wordcount: 1.4k
Chapter Seven: What do you think?
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Here at Wasted Years news we always like to keep it real and give our readers the truth no matter what. With that being said, this interview is unfiltered so that you can form your own thoughts and opinions on the people that we interview. We here at Wasted Years news stand by our decision of only printing the truth and not watering it down-no matter how many threats we receive from managers, lawyers, and angry rockstars alike.  
We want to say that we have never, in all of our years, had an interview go like this one did. 
Recently, Felicity Cash sat down for a one on one exclusive with lead singer of Corroded Coffin, Eddie Munson, today to see how the life of fame really is. He burst through the scene from out of nowhere and took the industry by storm with his killer guitar skills and raspy vocals. There is not a person on the planet who doesn’t know who Corroded Coffin is, no matter what music genre you prefer. 
In typical rockstar fashion, Eddie Munson arrived late to this interview due to traffic on the interstate. He sauntered in with his manager close behind, dressed in his usual black attire and jewelry. There was smeared make up under his eyes, red lipstick and hickies on his neck, as well as the smell of booze clinging to his clothing. 
The following is the full transcript of the interview:
I just wanted to start this interview off by saying congratulations on your success. We are a little bit crunched for time now so I’m just going to get right into it. Growing up, did you ever see yourself in the position you are in now? 
Not at all. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this a lot in interviews before, but I grew up pretty poor in a trailer park in Indiana. I didn’t have much besides my uncle, my friends, and music to get me through. If you would have told me then how I would be on top of the world now, I don’t think I would believe you. 
Eddie spread his arms and legs out, leaning back in his chair like he was the king, and he was sitting on his throne. He looked down at the people in the room.
And is that how you feel? On top of the world? 
Of course I do. I have everything. Every day is a fucking party. I have women begging to be with me and every man in the world wants to be me. I can’t see how it gets any better than that. 
Okay then. Would you say that music was a big part of your household growing up? 
My-yeah, my mom. She used to sing a lot. Just around the house. She’d sing when doing laundry and the dishes. She had a nice voice and when I was younger I used to think she sang better than the women on the radio. I don’t know. I was really young. I don’t really remember. 
This question seemed to catch Eddie a little off guard. There was a glisten in his eye when he spoke of his mother. You could tell he was reminiscing on some fond memories. 
Sounds like some of that talent got passed down. 
Maybe. I don’t know. 
Speaking of talent, you are considered one of the best guitar players in the world. Have you ever played any other instruments?
I played clarinet in the school band in middle school to get out of gym class. I wasn’t very good at it. If you put a clarinet in front of me today I wouldn’t know what to do with it. 
I don’t think I can imagine you playing the clarinet. I wanted to ask you about one of my favorite songs by you guys. Your most recent single Tell Her is much slower than your normal stuff. Fans are calling it your one and only love song. May I ask who your muse was? Is there someone special we should keep an eye out for?
I’m not fucking answering that. 
Eddie’s manager paused the interview for a moment to whisper something in Eddie’s ear. Some crew members have mentioned seeing his manager hand him a pill of some sort which Eddie took immediately. We are not sure what he said or what was given to Eddie but it didn’t seem to deter him or help with calming him down. 
Let’s get back on track. Earlier you mentioned your uncle. How is he doing these days? Would you say he influenced your career in any way? 
My uncle has basically killed himself trying to raise me and keep me fed. He didn’t have to do that but he did. He doesn’t like talking to me anymore. He thinks I’m a disappointment. I offered to buy him another big old fancy house and he doesn’t even want to live here with me. 
I’m sure he doesn’t think you’re a disappointment, Eddie. I had a question for you and the answer might be obvious. Do you ever get performance anxiety? If you once did, how did you overcome it?
Fuck no. Why would I get anxiety? 
It was just a question. I know it’s something a lot of people in the industry struggle with. How about those friends you mentioned earlier? Are they still by your side?
Yeah. Jeff, Garreth, Grant-they’re all great. They’re my best friends. They were all losers like me too, ya’know? Just a bunch of losers that grew up and got a shit load of money…
Myself and the crew started to notice Mr. Munson dozing off in his seat. His manager, who we now know by the name of Don, had to get Eddie awake by splashing water in his face. Despite his manager's persistent advice, Eddie decided to continue the interview. 
I just want to check before we continue that you are okay, Eddie? If you want we can stop the interview now. 
 Fuck no. I got up and drove all the way down here for this so we’re finishing it. 
Okay. I just want to make it clear we can stop this at any point. 
Fine. 
I just wanted to ask you a few more questions before we let you go for the day. Do you have any advice for any young people who want to be where you are today? 
I would say don’t let anyone hold you back. No one really matters except for yourself. And if you think you can be the new me then think of something else to do because I’m not going anywhere any time soon. 
That might be harmful advice. Don’t you think?
What is this? A damn therapy session? It’s the fucking truth though. Do you not want me to answer your bullshit answers truthfully? 
We noticed that Eddie was not well and his speech was slurring. We made the decision to ask one more question and to cut the interview short. 
Of course we want you to answer truthfully and sorry if it’s coming across that way. I’m sure you’ve read one of our interviews and seen our interview style before. One more question before you go, Eddie. I’ve been wanting to ask you this since you mentioned your friends earlier that there was one friend you left out of your answer. I’ve read in previous interviews of yours that you and a certain actress have been very close. I was wondering how your relationship is with her now and if you are still close with her and her boyfriend Collin-
At this point the once drowsy and uninterested Eddie came to life. It was evident that the question pushed a button. His answer was followed by him jumping out of the chair, clearly angered. 
No! Hell no. You do not get to ask me about her. 
I’m sorry. I don’t have it in my notes not to ask you about that. So, there is drama there? 
The interview then ended abruptly when Eddie Munson decided to pick up the chair he was once sitting in and threw it across the room, nearly hitting a crew member. We decided to end the interview there, and after a brief discussion with his manager, decided not to press charges since there was no injury to anyone on set. 
Eddie Munson was escorted from the property by security with a ban from ever coming back. We wish him the best and hope he finds the help he needs. 
After a lot of thought we decided to continue with publishing this interview to show the public the truth. We will let you form your own opinions. 
-Felicity Cash, Journalist, Wasted Years News
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froggy-demon · 1 month
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Oh Deer - Part Four
A/N: thank you again for all of the support!! I had to rewrite this one a couple of times because I just couldn’t decide, I hope you like it <3 I’m so excited to share my writings and I’m so astonished every time y’all leave nice comments I love them so much, thank you!! All of that said, enjoy!
Chapter Summery: Lilly is treated to a glamorous night out under the Vs’ roof, accompanied by a familiar demon, angst and tension ensues.
Masterlist
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I rolled my eyes, again, and waved away the idea. “No way, we both know Alastor fucking hates me, he just hates Lucifer more I guess.” Angel was positive that Alastor was sincere in his display earlier, I was not quite as delusional though. “He quite literally said he was fucking around.” I added. Even if I found myself fascinated with the demon, I wasn’t so naive to think that feeling went both ways.
“Maybe, or maybe he just wanted an excuse.” Angel paused and had a look of realization on his face as he broke out into a smile. “If you want some real attention though, y’know the Vs are throwing that big party if Velvette ain’t already dragging you to it you could be my plus one! Val usually keeps me pretty fucking busy all night, but they are actually pretty fun. Lots of cute demons and free booze if you know what I mean!” Angle said with a wink and laughed. That’s not a terrible idea actually, get out a little and have some fun. My streak hasn’t been so great recently so I could really use a win on that front.
“Y’know that actually does sound fun. Velvette hasn’t brought it up at all yet so she probably won’t need me there, but I also don’t have anything to wear for it, I’ll need something new. I could use some retail therapy anyway.” I said and rested my head on top of the pillow in my lap smiling. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! Angel lit up at the sound of going shopping.
“Oh I will make sure you are the best dressed demon in the whole fucking party, don’t worry about that tuts! We want something that will show you you off!” He held up his fingers like he was mimicking a camera taking pictures of me. “You got it all babe! The tits, the ass, the smile! They are going to eat you up, especially once I’m done with you!” He ranted making me laugh. I don’t think in my whole before and afterlife I’ve ever heard someone describe me that way. “I’m serious! Al will see what he’s missing tomorrow night!” Angel teased very proud of his scheme.
“This has nothing to do with him, but I do like that idea. As soon as I get off work we need to hit the shops so we still have enough time.” I said trying to plan out the next night. Angel agreed and we worked out the time table to make sure we would stay on track. Work, then shop, then hotel to get ready, then back across town to the party. Excellent, tomorrow night will be all about what I want, it’s been a while since I could say that.
After a couple more hours of giggling and gossip, like hearing allllll about how Husk and Angel made eye contact today and it was riveting, we settle down to fall asleep while the purple lights twinkled above our heads. I tried to calm my mind, but it raced just thinking about tomorrow. This party is for high profile souls, overlords and wealthy demons in hell, hopefully I don’t stick out too much, but I like to think I’ve learned a good amount from my work. Maybe it will be enough to actually go a whole night without thinking about the radio demon, I can only hope.
The next morning there was a renewed joy in my step as I walked down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. It didn’t matter that it was far too early to be awake, or that I was about to be yelled at for the next ten hours of my day, no, I would do it all with a smile because today I actually had something to look forward to. I cozied up in a chair in the lounge with my mug and breathed in the steam while I watched the fire in the fireplace dance.
1-2-click 1-2-click 1-2-click
I can’t help but wonder what makes him need to be up so early, what business could he have at 4am? He walked through the lounge and I tried to hide the fact that I was watching by playing on my phone. I couldn’t stop myself from taking in the sight of him with curious eyes, he was less put together than usual. His ears were tucked back and he wasn’t wearing his waistcoat. It was an odd sighting for him to not have it on. Without it you could see his sleeve garters which gave him an almost rugged look like he had been pouring over his desk for hours, and then you could see his little deer tail. He didn’t greet me and I was not going to be the first one of us to say anything so he passed through the room quietly. After he did, I took another sip of my coffee. Maybe his broadcast had given him some sort of trouble, or perhaps he had been returning to his M.O. from before his absence of torturing souls he saw fit on the air. I don’t care to listen to his broadcasts, when anything important happens I will know either from sinstigram or Velvette yelling about it the next day.
After a few more minutes of enjoying the peace and quiet of the early morning hotel I cleaned my mug out and made my way to work.
Upon arriving I could tell I was going to have a few extra duties today. They were already decorating the main event space elsewhere in the building, I could tell by the exorbitant number of tables and decor being moved around through the halls, and if there is one thing Velvette loves it is to micromanage how something looks. I go up to the studio and start collecting my clipboard and the ever growing list of what must get done today. Between keeping tv personalities well dressed, reshoots for the launch of Velvette’s fashion line, and now the party I think I’m going to need a second pair of arms. I guess that’s what we have the studio aids for.
“I need the Art Director for Velvette’s line in the studio, we need to confirm details and revisions.” I spoke into my earpiece and waited for confirmation before moving onto the next task and then the task after that. Finally some time later Velvette joined us in the studio and started barking her own orders as well. I joined the collection of demons flocking to her side for their morning abuse.
“Fucking finally, Lilly I need you to make sure everyone to set downstairs before you leave today. Make sure you have the vision plan and everything else I had them work up so you actually know what the fuck you’re supposed to be checking. If a single fucking chair is at the wrong angle it is your fault. Me and Vox have put too much fucking work into this party tonight for it not to look right I need perfection from you today. Even the seven bloody deadly sins are coming so if anything is not exactly the way I fucking pictured it, your leash will become very short.” She ordered and I nodded quietly. “Until then I need the stupid fucking art director for my line up here now!”
“Yes Ma’am. The Art Director is waiting for you with the concept photos for final approval.” I stated. She smiled, not exactly rare, but not exactly common especially while she was working.
“Finally you use that fucking brain of yours to get shit ready before I have to tell you to. How refreshing! In that case find the makeup artists, they keep running off to hell knows what and I’m this close to snapping one of them in half to set a fucking example, ungrateful little shits!” And with that she left to yell at the next soul she could find.
I spoke into my earpiece again, “Creative Director for Events, where are you? We need to check in immediately.” Upon confirmation that they were downstairs in the event space I headed there myself and we went over the binders of planning and inspiration the Vs had laid out. The event hall was really more like a grand ballroom, as hypermodern as the Vs were, it would seem they still found charm in some old world aesthetics. With massive crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, white marble floors, and dramatically draped floor length windows, it nearly looked straight out of a period piece. The colors for the party were blue and black, sounds like Vox won that argument. The tables were being set up with black tablecloths and vibrant blue hydrangeas, I didn’t even know you could grow those in hell. There were demons running all around the space sweeping, bringing things in, decorating the stage, the bar, exchanging the drapes out to match the color scheme.
I checked every chair and table to make sure they were level, every centerpiece for dead flowers and leaves, the stage for splinters, the drapes for snugs in the fabric. “Do we have the staff apparel ready?” I asked the director. She was a short demon who was lizard like with one large eye in the center of her head.
“No, we hadn’t coordinated that yet.” Of course not. I mentally rolled my eyes, luckily costuming was my bread and butter.
“I’ll handle that then, how much staff will there be tonight?” I asked clicking my pen so I could jot in down. 100 serves, 10 bartenders, 5 bands, 45 miscellaneous staff on the floor, okay, doable. “Keep a handle on everything down here, I’ll track all of that down, do not let them fuck it up.” I said and she gave a polite nod. Awesome, 160 coordinated outfits, because that won’t take all day or anything.
I spent a good few hours tracking down various sizes of royal blue suit vests and dress pants, royal blue suit jackets, royal blue button up shirts and black ties, royal blue knee length skirts, shoes, but it was possible with the size of our costuming department. By the end of the day I had neatly organized racks of outfits for each position and each size with a skirt or pants option. Staff was just beginning to trickle in the door and I assigned a few studio aids to help make sure everyone had the clothes they required for the night. Before it was too late I did one last once over of the ballroom. Centerpieces were good, chairs good, all the ambient candles were lit, I could see the bartenders just beginning to organize the bars, the bands were setting up their equipment, I think I might have actually pulled this one off.
I breathe a sigh of relief and I finish triple checking my work. Everything is set in place which leaves only one more thing: myself. I handover to the Event Manager who has arrived for the evening and she thanks me for getting us here, something I’m not very used to hearing. I thank her and text Angel Dust that I’m on my way out the door at work and am heading out to pick out a dress. He immediately texts back that he is on his way to the front of the building as well and we will meet there. I gather myself and get there just as he is.
Angel is in good spirits as he links his lower arm with mine, which is still a bit tall for me, and we start wadding through shop after shop. We know we are on a time crunch, but Angel seems to have something very specific in mind. Finally after trying on at least two dozen dresses and probably half as many shops, when I step out of the dressing room his eyes light up and a big smile spreads across his face.
“Oh baby, that is the one!” He spins me toward the mirror and I can’t help but feel a little self conscious. “You are going to be turning heads all fucking night in this little number! We might need to hire security for you!” I laughed at the idea and attempted to pull the hem down just an inch more. It was a very short black, strapless dress with a wide square neckline and a low back. It came with a pair of matching black elbow length gloves and I could already imagine how I would pair it with accessories at home. He was right though, it looked stunning. It hugged every square inch of my body and admittedly had more cleavage than I was used to as it seemed to defy physics by still being supportive, it was beautiful.
“Angel, it might be too much, I don’t want to go overboard.” I said biting my lip, but I couldn’t stop turning in the mirror to see myself at every angle. Angel grabbed my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror.
“It’s perfect.” He assured. We bought it and took it home with just one hour left to get ready for the evening.
When he stepped out Angel was wearing a black version of his typical suit jacket and shorts, exchanging his pinkish red gloves for a baby pink pair and kept his thigh high boots, he looked incredible and I told him so, he nearly blushed for a second before lighting back up as we walked downstairs.
“Me? Fucking look at you! Little miss straight-laced, you look drop-double-dead-gorgeous tonight!” He beamed, this time it was my turn to blush. I had added a pair of dark tights and my royal blue Mary Jane shoes, with a delicate royal blue ribbon tied around my neck like a choker. I pulled my gloves up a little more to make sure they were all the way on before running a hand through my hair. I hope he is right.
“Thank you Angel, I try my best.” I said sheepishly. Angel instead upon stopping by the lounge where the rest of the group was gathered to say goodbye before we were off. We stepped into the room and I smiled awkwardly as Angel presented me, very proud of his work.
“I give to you, the new and improved Lilly!” He sang and motioned to me. Charlie looked surprised but happy, Vaggie was about the same, but had a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Sir. Pentious had a light blush but reassured me that I looked very nice. Husk was trying to hide it, but absolutely eyeing Angel. Niffty squealed with joy and ram little figure eights around us manically giggling about how nice we looked. Alastor was nowhere to be found though. “Where’s the big guy? I said I needed everyone!” Angel frowned.
“Please excuse my tardiness, I too was getting ready for tonight!” Alastor chirped as he walked into the room. He was dressed very well, his suit looked new just for the occasion as it was a slightly deeper shade of red than his normal suit and it was more simple with a short tail coat and a chain across the chest and it had a very faint pinstripe pattern to it. He looked like he had gotten a fresh haircut and maybe it’s my imagination, but even his old cane looked a little fresher to match. As I finished drinking him in I realized his eyes were going over me in the very same way.
“Since when are you fucking going to a party that Vox is throwing?” Angel asked the demon who chuckled.
“Oh I wouldn’t dare miss it, so many important demons and souls there tonight. I couldn’t give Vox the chance to twist a narrative if left to his own devices! Plus,” he pulled a small paper from his breast pocket. “He invited me.” Alastor had a wicked smile on as he stuffed his invitation back into his pocket. Angel gave me a small look that told me this was news to him, as it was to me. I guess Alastor is an overlord and Vox does seem rather keen on him. Even if they are enemies, best to keep him close.
“Well, I guess we should all get going then.” I said and before I could turn towards the door shadows crushed over us and just as quickly as they appeared they dissipated and we were in front of the event room door.
As soon as I saw her in the lounge I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Her dress was the most revealing thing I’d even seen draped across her figure. The visual mixing with her timid posing made something within me tick. Every curve was on display, the dress hardly covered her ass as the hem just barely brushed the top of her soft thighs, it scarcely managed to contain her chest if she didn’t have perfect posture it could be quite the display, her exposed back left her looking delicate and accessible. An anger burned in me, traipsing through a gala in such a vulnerable position, she should be locked away from such prying eyes where only I can look upon her form like this, where I can revel in it. The gentle look in her eyes made my mind race. How dare she look like that and yet so innocent at the same time, I wanted to ruin that innocent look, I wanted her eyes to hold nothing but pleasure and lust as I did so. If a soul should so much as hover their eyes over her a moment too long I might have to restrain myself from slaughtering them. As we walked into the event room Angel was quickly called away but Valentino, who blew us a sarcastic kiss from across the busy room. My eyes stayed trained on her though, she would not be leaving my sight tonight whether she knew it or not.
Alastor seemed in no rush to find any friends as he walked behind me through the crowded space. Hundreds of demons and overlords and hellish elites mingled around me. I secretly enjoyed his company, but me and Angel had agreed that tonight was about me and as much as I was intregued by Alastor, I knew that went one way. “Alastor, if you are going to accompany me tonight,” I turned and flashed a smile at him. “Would you perhaps be able to hunt down a drink for me to sip on? It’s awfully warm.” I asked, anxiously adjusting my gloves again. He casted his eyes across the room before answering.
“Why don’t you join me, My Dear? We’ll find it together. Then I can brief you on who not to talk to.” He stressed the end of his sentence like it was very important I don’t meet certain souls in attendance tonight. He reached to place a hand on my shoulder blade to guide me forward but I stepped to the side.
“Please Alastor, I’ll find my way to somewhere quiet until you return, I’m a big girl.” I teased a little and batted my eyes at him. I don’t know what his deal was tonight, maybe he had more foes than friends in attendance, but still I know how to get out of a sticky situation when I find myself in one, especially here.
“I insist, I wouldn’t want to abandon a lady at an event like this, who knows what kind of unsavory figure could swoop in.” The static crackled off his voice at the beginning. I felt his hand meet my shoulder successfully. His eyes burned into mine and I felt there was danger that I wasn’t aware of. I gave in and slowed to allow him to guide me towards the bar. It was quite busy and in the crowd my back was nearly pressed against his chest as we walked. I could feel the heat coming off in him, he smelled like fresh rain in the woods. I kept my hands clasped in front of me and kept a polite smile on as we finally reached the edge of the crowd for my drink.
Alastor left my side by less than two steps to order me a drink, I took the chance to look around the room. There were hundreds of finely dressed demons in attendance, a part of me was very pleased to see everyone enjoying the space I had helped to create and so far not a hair out of place.
“For you, My Dear.” He said graciously as he handed me my glass, if I remember the menu correctly this is a mermaid mule, giving it a violently blue color. “Now I think it’s about time we start making the rounds to say hello, don’t you think?” He grinned and placed his hand back on my shoulder blade as we reentered the crowd. It wasn’t really a question that explain answer. I looked up at him from the corner of my eye, he was quite cautiously watching the crowd. I couldn’t tell if he was looking for anyone in particular or not, but his mind certainly had a goal it was focused on.
“Alastor, I appreciate the escort, but really I was hoping to be on my own tonight.” He did not bother to look at me, but he did seem to see someone he wished to talk to as we gently started heading a different way. “I fear you might not be the most suitable wing man.” I teased trying to smile at the taller demon.
“I’m afraid not, besides please allow me to introduce you to the darling Rosie, overlord of cannibal town!” He motioned to the women just a couple of feet ahead of us now. She was tall and remarkably pretty even with her hollowed out eyes and her sharp teeth she managed to look friendly and lively. “Rosie! A pleasure as always!” Alastor sang.
She turned and lit up upon seeing him, waving us over. “Alastor darling, it’s so good to see you! Who’s this little number you brought along tonight? You better keep a close eye on her. I could eat her right up!” Her smile reminded me of his, but it was more sincere. She spoke with a very old dialect, but it left me thinking she ought to be sipping tea on someone’s porch with a novel in her hand. I returned her smile and Alastor introduced us.
“This is Lilly, an associate of mine from Charlie’s hotel.” He said and Rosie gave a small applause.
“It is very nice to meet you Ma’am, I am very lucky to be a resident under the princess’ trust. I hope you are enjoying the evening, I helped put it together, so please feel free to let me know if there is anything at all you need. I am positive we can make it happen.” I offered and she giggled.
“Oh such a sweetheart, you are! What a very nice swaray this is turning out to be, thank you! I can’t imagine need anything not already provided!” She assured me and she and Alastor continued to talk for a few more minutes. I watched Alastor as he did, he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company, it was a nice look on him, but his ears would twitch every so often giving away that he was still on high alert.
Eventually Alastor excused us, in search of another overlord to greet. We repeated this pattern a few times, one even joked that if Alastor was going to keep such a close eye on me he needed to put me ‘under contract’, or he would. I felt Alastor’s claws ever so slightly press themselves a little harder into my skin and his laugh was clipped. Once we had a moment to ourselves again I scanned the room for Angel or Valentino, I hadn’t seen him since our arrival, but with no luck. I did however spot another V. I could see Vox chatting up an interesting looking demon, he was tall and owl like and dressed quite regally, I recognized him as Stolis, rumor had it he did love daytime dramas so I guess I can’t be too surprised.
“Alastor, maybe I should go find Angel, just to check in on him.” It almost felt futile, of course I enjoyed Alastor’s company, and the feeling of his hand sent electric currents through my skin, but it also felt hopeless to think that he was thinking what I was thinking. Thinking about how he had looked so delightfully disheveled this morning, how he might look beneath his well tailored clothes, how the heat of his body might fully wash over mine, how his hand might feel elsewhere. It wouldn’t take more than a couple skilled movement to have me out of a dress like this and I was sure he was skilled. I nearly blushed at just the passing thought.
It took all the strength I had to not sink my claws into her. Why did she want to walk away so badly, I have been nothing but the perfect gentleman all evening and still she is not content. I flicked my eyes back down to hers, I could smell a faint scent of attraction from her, how sweet it smelled. Maybe I could use that to keep her close. Clearly she wanted some kind of attention tonight, I could give her a little taste. “Do I bore you? I apologize if meeting so many people was overwhelming, but it would have been rude not to.” I grinned, I allowed my hand to drop to the bottom of her back, just above her dress. “I appreciate your cooperation, truthfully,” I walked us forward and bent down ever so slightly so I could whisper into her ear. I could smell the perfume of her attraction better here, her back was stiff and I could see her chest rise and fall with every deep breath she was taking. “I don’t trust a single soul here to be alone with you, My Dear.” I said, my tone was soft but I couldn’t help the static creeping into my voice. It was true after all, none of them deserved to even lay eyes on her.
She looked up at me with sweet wide eyes, “Is that why, Alastor, you’ve kept me on such a short leash tonight?” She asked. Oh I would love to put her on a leash. “Afraid I might find a new overlord to pester?” She smiled at her own jab. “Don’t worry, I was just hoping to find a little bit of, y’know, company tonight.” Her face flushed softly and felt that pit in my stomach grow.
She wanted some disgusting demon to see her like that, to touch her like that. The idea made me sick, and more so my anger grew. The image of her sprawled out, eyes so innocent and inviting, her hair like the halo she deserved on the pillow beneath her, for someone else? I had to control my anger or before I could explain myself we would be back in the hotel, back in my room, and I needed to be here tonight unfortunately.
And that reason was walking towards us now as my smile widened I was keenly aware of my hand moving to grip Lilly’s waist instead to keep her even closer to me.
Alastor’s grip was strong, I followed his eyes to see what he was looking at, surely what I said hadn’t upset him like this. Then it made sense, Vox. While they have been throwing punches from afar via broadcast this is the first time they will have seen each other face to face since Alastor’s return. Vox was in the same suit he always wore, but it at least looked a little better pressed today.
“Alastor! Has anyone ever told you it’s rude not to greet the host.” Vox remarked as he walked into range. “I didn’t think we were inviting just anyone tonight?” He laughed, Alastor produced his invitation from his pocket again.
“Why, you personally signed it. There was a kiss and a heart on my invitation just like you always did.” Alastor remarked, flipping it over between his fingers to prove it, making Vox scowl slightly. I held in a giggle. His annoyed eyes landed on me and I suddenly wanted Alastor’s shadows to whisk me away from here. Work is one thing, I tolerate whatever abuse the other two Vs wish to throw my way as politely as I can to keep Velvette happy, but I’m not working now, and my back is against the chest of the soul Vox might just hate the most in all of hell. The other part of me wants to stand tall, who says I can even rely on Alastor for defense here, he’s so hot and cold with me. “And Vel’s pet, what a combination! I must say Velvette has only had the pettiest complaints tonight so that is as close as a job well down can be for her, congratulations!” Vox held out a hand for me to shake. I wanted to look at Alastor for approval or an excuse, I really wanted to not have to shake his hand, but I did. An acute ringing appeared in my ears.
“Thank you, Mr. Vox.” I said plainly. There was tension in the air between the two, but they both remained polite. It would cause too much of a scene for them to duke it out here in public. I felt the anger pooling in Alastor’s muscles as it felt like he was entirely still, not even feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed behind me anymore. I could feel his eyes bore into me, something I normally treasured, but now I couldn’t shake the animosity that was behind them even if that was not necessarily directed my way.
“I rather think red and black would have been a more flattering theme, but I guess blue is nice to some people.” Alastor quipped, adjusting his suit jacket proudly, Vox’s smile strained.
“It looks to me that someone prefers the blue.” Vox smirked and reached for the ribbon I wore around my neck, but before he could actually make contact Alastor moved us a step back. He held me with a force that threatened the delicate fabric of my dress.
“A gentleman would ask permission before reaching for a lady that way, and concede when she denies. Maybe you yourself are too modern for basic manners?” Alastor teased. His eyes burned bright red, contrasting his airy attitude and smile. I could feel his breath ticking the nape of my neck, under different circumstances I might let myself dwell on that feeling, I knew he was fired up. As bloodthirsty as Alastor may be, he has his values.
“You know I could introduce you to at least twenty demons here tonight who could show you a better time.” Vox couldn’t help but keep the irritation out of his voice as he stood with one hand on his hip, it almost sounded like a threat, I’m not sure if I wanted to know exactly what a good time entails for him. Vox played with Alastor’s protectiveness tonight. Ironically, here was someone who was basically offering me exactly what I claimed I wanted, but now that it’s in front of me and especially coming from him I had no interest. I was repulsed by the idea. I kept my back straight and tried to shake off Alastor’s grip a little, I don’t want to be intimidated by Vox right now. He doesn’t hold any direct power over me more than any other demon here. I’m sick of being pushed and pulled around so much.
“I’m plenty satisfied with my company. I’d like if you left us be now, I’m sure you can find time to taunt Alastor on any other day. We would like to enjoy the night.” I asserted. His plasma smile inverted. He looked like a petulant child being told play time was over.
“You’re welcome to reconsider, I’m sure Velvette would like-“
“Velvette does not care for my company, Mr. Vox.” I cut him off. I held back my shame thinking about her and forced myself to continue. “Goodnight, Sir.” He couldn’t hide his displeasure in my answer, clearly he had wanted to demean Alastor in some way by whisking away his date. He took two steps towards us, leaving just a foot of space in between. Baring his LED teeth he looked down at me.
“You ungrateful bi-”
“Be so kind as to let us get on with our evening wont you?” Alastor cut him off, static crackling off his words, he loomed behind me, his eyes practically begging Vox to push him further. He wouldn’t make the first move, but he wouldn’t step down once Vox did. Without looking past me Vox took a deep breath and straightened his tie returning to his dry smile.
“Enjoy the night. We’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” Vox nodded in my direction with a glint in his eye. I stood in silence as he turned his back to us and rejoined the crowd.
I turned around to face Alastor. Part of me wanted to run away from here, be enveloped in his arms and just dissolve. Another part of me wanted his fingers to find somewhere else they could mercilessly sink into and to free me from my dress as we fell onto his bed. The part of me that won, however, was the part that looked at his angry eyes and smiled, requesting another drink. We could stay here if it meant he would keep holding onto me, if it meant he would continue to be just a step behind me no matter what, if it meant I was the center of his attention for a little bit longer. I knew I might have to pay for my disrespect in the morning, but that felt so far away at this moment. Right now I was safe, I was with Alastor, and that's all I wanted to think about. The ambient candle light danced in his eyes as he looked at me, and as much as he would hate to hear it, the contrast of the rich blue background only made his red hair and eyes look all that much more alluring.
He indulged my request and his grip on my waist was no longer lethal as he guided me to the closest bar in the event room. I ordered my drink and downed it to try to steady my head. Alastor gently hummed along to the band playing while leaning his back against the bar a little, he looked content and for a moment he almost looked like a regular person enjoying his night. If you wanted you could imagine him in life, whatever that had looked like, it was haunting.
“Alastor, would you dance with me?” I asked, unable to keep a smile off my face at his display. He stood up and took one of my hands in his and his grin grew as he gave me a small bow.
“Of course, My Dear, I’d be delighted.” He replied and we joined the dance floor not far away. I was, unfortunately, not a terribly skilled dancer, but Alastor led and I was able to follow. His arm snaked around my waist while the other kept my hand, my free hand rested on his shoulder. His eyes consumed me and I savored it. We had been close all night, but for the first time the proximity felt purposefully intimate. I nearly couldn’t bear the way he looked at me, half lidded eyes slowly raked over my figure before landing back on my own eyes. I wanted him to say something. Beside the fact that I was heavily focused on not tripping over my own feet, my heart raced and I’m not sure I could muster anything worth saying. This was the closest thing I could call a confirmation that he might be thinking what I’m thinking. Maybe he had been all night, maybe that was why he couldn’t let me out of his grip for more than thirty seconds. Or maybe he just liked putting on a show.
I was able to match his steps as we spun around the floor. He had a slightly softer smile playing on his lips. I hoped my nerves weren’t showing through in my smile, I felt like I had it under control, but as I held his gaze I wasn’t so sure my eyes were on my side. “You are a marvelous dancer, no need to worry, you are doing perfectly fine.” Alastor cooed, thinking that must be what’s caused my anxiety. I allowed myself I look past him for a moment to collect my thoughts. I wasn’t even an okay dancer, but it is sweet he would say so.
“I think you are the first dance partner of mine to say that. I stepped on many date’s toes unfortunately in life.” I admitted. Back in my dancing days I quickly fell down the rank of ladies at work to take out, I might be able to make you laugh but that’s about all I was good at on a date.
“Maybe the problem was more so with the partner.” Alastor said and twirled us around. “I seem to have no such problem.” He pulled me ever so slightly closer to him, my chest nearly against his. He was right, I hadn’t actually had much of a misstep at all. He was an excellent dance partner. He knew how to lead and to help me stay in time with him. Alastor gently guided my waist in the direction changes, or gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We were working in tandem quite gracefully.
The song came to an end and I wished it would last just a couple of minutes longer. Alastor released me and gave a slight bow, he was completely serious but I couldn’t help from giggling a little. Such a gentleman tonight. His hand returned to my shoulder blade and we melted into the crowd again. I thought about Alastor more, he is difficult, but it just makes me want more of him. I never know what I will get with him and as frustrating as it is it is also alluring. I pulled up the tops of my gloves a little, just to busy myself, as I caught my breath. I almost felt cold now without the heat of his body so close to mine, even though he was just a few inches further away than he had been it was enough for a chill to sweep through me. I hugged myself a little to compensate and blushed slightly when I realized how pronounced it made my chest. Almost immediately I felt a warm soft fabric cover my shoulders. I looked down at it as I pulled it closer to me and realized it was Alastor’s suit jacket before looking back at him.
“You looked cold, understandable given your attire, we wouldn’t want you to catch a chill now would we?” Alastor offered before I could even question him with a pleasant smile on his face. I smiled back.
“Thank you, though I paid good money for this dress, I ought to show it off. I don’t know when else I’ll ever get the excuse to.” I said and soothed the hem of my dress that just barely came down long enough. I moved to shake off the jacket, but his hand on my shoulder kept me from doing so.
His smile widened. “I think you look particularly lovely just like this!” His voice rang in my ears. Such a protective gentleman. I couldn’t help but to want to tease him.
I shrugged off his hand and his jacket, offering it back to him. “Please, Alastor, I insist.” He begrudgingly took it back and slipped the jacket back on, adjusting his cuffs. I looked up at him with shy eyes as I slowly traced my hands over my silhouette, seemingly to soothe my dress to anyone else. I watched as Alastor’s eyes followed my hands. “Thank you, I think I look rather nice, don’t you?” I asked sweetly. His eyes flicked back up to mine before I spun a little to give him a better look. His grip on his cane became tight. He looked at me like I was prey he was stalking in the forest, absolutely trained on me watching what I would do next. It burned into me and I loved it.
“You look very nice, My Dear. I think you know that.” He said, his voice was clipped, but not dangerous. I smiled. It was fun to get under his skin a little, especially given how he does it to me.
“Maybe, but I was just curious if you also thought so. You look quite handsome yourself, I rather like this suit on you.” I teased and adjusted his lapels a little. I could feel his breath again on the top of my head as I did so and when I looked at his eyes they were glowing a deep ruby color. His hand curled around my wrist, plucking it off of him. I could tell he was trying to decide exactly what to say, so I continued to press him. “Oh, does the touching only go one way? You’ve had your hands on me all night. I thought I might return the favor.” My heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at him. My vision darkened and for a moment all I could see was the glowing of his eyes and his crazed grin. When it lightened back up I knew I was back in the hotel, but in a room I had never seen before. My eyes found the forest that looked like it had been patched onto the room and I knew. This must be Alastor’s room.
The confidence I had held just seconds ago evaporated upon the realization. Alastor gently guided my chin so that my gaze was directed back at him. I knew my eyes were wide and my heart thudded against my ribs as I wasn’t sure if I should be terrified or thrilled, or both. His ears were flat against his head as his eyes drank me in one last time. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me tonight.” His voice came out low and no louder than a whisper. One of his arms wrapped around my waist like when we were dancing, but now his claws nearly pierced my skin through the delicate fabric of my dress. He held me close there, I had no answer.
Alastor used his other hand to slowly run the sharp edge of a claw along a path from my jaw, down my neck, over my shoulder, then across my back. My skin hissed at the sensation, it wasn’t even enough to truly break the skin but it sent shockwaves through my system. I stood perfectly still, I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. I wanted him to just tell me, tell me if he craves me the way I crave him or not. I wanted more of his touch, but I was in no position to demand such a thing.
“As soon as I saw your little getup tonight,” He started to explain, deliberately fiddling with my dress’ fabric. “I wanted to whisk you up here, keep you away from any other soul who might see you in such a state.” I felt my face growing increasingly warm as he combed his free hand through my hair. “I didn’t think they deserved such a sight, but I didn’t want to upset you, My Dear, so I settled for keeping a close watch over you.” I melted into his touch as he held my cheek in his hand while he spoke. “I restrained myself then, but you have pushed me too far.” Alastor leaned his head in closer to mine, until our foreheads almost touched. His eyes were still a glowing deep red. “I’ll tell you a secret. All night I have been able to smell the lust pouring out of you, and right now is the strongest it’s ever been. You smell so sweet.” his neck dips even lower and his lips threaten to brush against my neck, the promise of sweet kisses tantalizing close. I could hear the sound of my blood pumping through my veins, I was hyper aware of every inch of my body that Alastor was touching, my muscles screamed for me to do something. Either run away or grab him and never let him go, waiting was torture. “You have to go.”
My mind raced. Alastor wanted me to leave? We were still tangled together, he made no real move to let me leave. My body ached for more of his touch, I desperately wanted more. I didn’t want to leave this moment. “Please, let me stay.” I begged, my voice breathy almost as if I was gasping for air. I didn’t need air, I needed Alastor. He slowly straightened back up and released his grasp on my waist. My skin hissed at the lack of his heat, the dewy scent of him retreating as he took a step back. He did not raise his eyes to meet mine though, instead his voice was low and gravely, charged with static and energy as he commanded me again.
“Leave.” It was not a question. I held myself back from arguing with him and backed away towards the door behind me. His shadows pooled around him on the floor. Some seemed to deliberately run in my direction as if to grab me and pull me back but any time one headed my way another would smack it back. I watched Alastor while my back was still waiting to find the wall. He was not his normal composed self, no this was raw. He almost looked ashamed, yet angry, searching for something to take that out on. I would pray for whatever creature he takes that out on if I thought it would help. The heavy rise and fall of his chest gave away just how agitated he had become.
Finally my back pressed against the wall while my hand began to search for the doorknob. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t speak, I could barely move. Did I do something wrong? Can I fix it? I don’t want to push him too hard, but it gnawed on me, if I’d caused this outburst I want to make it right. I opened my mouth to call out his name, but before the first letter could fully form a shadow shot out to me, wrapping itself around my throat and jaw. I froze, I’ve been in the position before and did not want to make him more angry. Alastor slowly turned towards me, his breathing was labored and as he lifted his head I could see a gruesome grin on his face.
“I. Said. Out.”
I was forced backwards by the force of his shadow and only was able to disconcert the sound of his door slamming back shut as I realized I was now on the other side of it. I had fallen back from the force and found myself just staring up at his door. I suddenly felt small and alone here. Just a minute ago I had been the center of Alastor’s universe as we danced and now I was thrown aside and shut out. I wracked my brain for what had set him off so terribly.
I remembered his words, he had confessed to being attracted to me, and knowing I was attracted to him, it felt humiliating. I had felt so exposed and vulnerable in that moment, he hadn’t technically rejected me, but it sure felt like he had. My confidence had crashed. I wanted to curl up and die. I also wanted to march back in Alastor’s room and scream at him for making me feel this way, for building me up just to crush me in the end. Hot tears stung the corners of my eyes, but I forced them away. I don’t want to break down, instead I redirected the energy. You want me to leave? I’ll leave alright.
I slowly pulled myself back up and dusted off my dress, fixing myself and taking a long deep breath for comfort.. I cast one last hurt glance back at Alastor’s door and headed downstairs.
Shame, humiliation, and confusion swirled in my mind, perhaps distorting my decision making capabilities. I debated my next move, but I wasn’t in the headspace to think wisely. My feet carried me forward as if the speed of my steps could out pace these feelings. Soon my heels were clicking down the grand staircase outside the front door while my nails dug into my palm, my gloves didn’t protect me. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was walking, but I eventually found myself down an all too familiar path.
I could see the massive glowing light of the Vs’ studio signage even though I was still a solid mile away. It was as daunting as it always was, the blue neon looked like a bruise on the hellish red sky. It was fitting. The place that I looked forward to leaving everyday was suddenly a constant I could cling onto. I knew exactly where I stood here, I knew what to expect, what to do, how to act, who to be. I was thankful for that role, thankful for the rock it gave me to sink my nails into in order to hold onto something, anything, that made me feel better. Here I didn’t have to be myself and everything that entailed, I could simply be Velvette’s errandgirl, someone who did not care what that deer demon was doing back at the hotel right now. Someone who didn’t dwell on whether or not she would be able to bring herself to look into his deep ruby eyes the next time they met. Someone who didn’t miss the way he looked at her back in the ballroom with a playful possessiveness as the candle light danced behind them. No. I would be too busy for any of that.
I straightened out my back when the building came into focus drawing on a polite shy smile.
Quietly, I rejoined the event space. The party had of course continued in my absence, none the wiser to my personal angst. I cast my eyes about the room in search of Angel, unlikely as it was I couldn’t help myself. A friendly face would be nice right now, but no such luck. So I took a step forward, ever still conscious of my looks and of the crowd, and made my way back towards the bar. Alone this time, but the night was just beginning.
Tags: @cannibalcoyote
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damiansgoodgirll · 9 months
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Kylian x lawyer reader where he hires a lawyer to help him sign for Real Madrid please🫶🏼
kylian in madrid i don’t know how it makes me feel haha, i wish him the best btw (my heart is in paris with him tho…), honestly i’m manifesting that he joins juventus LOL i’m delusional
also i’m a bit ignorant on how football contract deals work so don’t mind if this is not 100% accurate to reality!
kylian mbappe x lawyer reader
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real madrid?
you were shocked when you found out that you and your colleague got selected for helping a certain football player with his new contract deal. you thought that maybe it was his first time signing so probably he wasn’t an expert - not that you were too - but you were quite amused and shocked when you’ve been told that the football player that needed your help was the kylian mbappè.
his previous lawyer couldn’t help him because he had a very important case to take care of so he suggested your firm.
you were working for a very important firm in paris, so it was easy when people needed help because everyone knew you in paris. and everyone means everyone because that’s how kylian mbappè found you.
you’ve never worked on any football deal, nor your colleague did, so you were both a little nervous but you’ve been told about that the only thing you needed to do was reading and explaining the contract to kylian in case he couldn’t understand certain terms or words.
it sounded pretty easy.
expect no one told you that you had to be flying to madrid. your colleague couldn’t go as it was last minute and she had no idea how to manage her child if she was in madrid so she let you go all by yourself. saying that you were terrified was almost like a completely, no, you were shitting in your pants.
once you arrived in madrid you saw a private car waiting for you. that car got you to the hotel that kylian’s manager booked for you and the driver told you that he would be back in two hours to get you and to bring you to the offices where you would be meeting kylian.
you were not gonna lie, you were nervous to meet him. you always admired him, maybe you weren’t a football fan but you knew who he was, everyone knew who he was and you always had a soft spot for him. he always looked so nice and kind with the fans that made him seems like a completely normal person and not the famous football player the whole world knows.
you showered and got ready. opting for a very professional but at the same time very comfortable green dress, you finished to get ready and headed out where you saw the car waiting for you once again.
when you arrived to the structure you saw some people from kylian’s crew waiting for you. they all introduced himself and led you to the room where kylian was waiting his father and his procurator. you honestly had no idea who other else was in the room, you thought managers from real madrid since it was the team kylian was going to sign to but you had no idea and you didn’t ask.
the moment you entered the room and introduced yourself kylian’s eyes lightened up. he was waiting for the usual old and boring lawyer so he was surprised when he saw someone pretty and young as you.
“hello…” he waved at you, almost looking too shy.
“hi, i’m y/n, i’ll be the lawyer who will follow your deal today” you introduced yourself with a very bright smile.
kylian swore he fell in love. he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you and you felt his look on you.
when kylian’s procurator was reading the contract he pretended to not know some words - some very basic words - only because he wanted to hear your voice. even his father knew he was doing it on purpose just to have your attention.
“kylian, you know this word…” his father remarked.
“well i forgot” he said, looking back at his dad.
the man simply nodded, losing all the patience he had. you knew kylian was doing it on purpose and honestly you found it funny. usually this things are boring, long contracts only for a two second signs at the end.
when everything was done, kylian took al the pictures he had too but rushed away when he saw you were going back to the car. that was your job for the day and the next morning you would be flying back in paris when kylian was going to stay in madrid, so why did you feel nostalgic for a person you met a few hours ago?
“hey!” you heard his voice calling you.
“oh hi, is everything okay?” you asked him.
“yes, yes everything okay, i was wondering if you…well, if you aren’t busy if you would like to have lunch with me?” he asked a little embarrassed and that made you smile.
“sure, why not!”
he brought you to this little cute bar in madrid where you had probably one of the best dish you’ve ever eaten in your life. you began chatting about your lives, your hobbies, what you liked and what you didn’t and in reality you had a lot of things in common.
who would have thought that from a simple causal job you had took it could have started this amazing friendship between the two of you? or maybe something more than friendship…
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storiesofsvu · 11 months
Text
Love Comes Quietly Ch 1
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Future Alex Blake x reader warnings: language, minor talk of fbi type situations, alcohol consumption.
Alex always felt like it was a breath of incredibly fresh air whenever she got to get out of DC for something that wasn’t FBI case related. Since the divorce she’d almost started to feel a little antsy, like there was something else she should or could be doing to take up her free time now that the house was empty. She and James were still in touch rather frequently, everything had been completely amicable after all, just two people realizing they were going down different paths in life, even if they still cared about each other, they knew their part of the journey together was over. He’d stayed in the house with her while they sorted everything out and got papers signed and figured out who things belonged to and who wanted what before he moved off to Boston to accept the teaching position at Harvard.
Which is exactly how she had found herself on the Harvard campus for a week and a half guest lecturing in a handful of different classes. Despite James being the one to make the original invitation it was Daniela who’d convinced her into staying for the full week. They’d worked together at Georgetown when Alex had first started teaching and were hoping to finally be able to play catch up in between work hours.
Alex had done one lecture already today, using the free time before lunch to poke around the campus a little bit. There were more than enough interesting places, including a handful of bookstores that were home to a lot more than text books and required readings. She wandered the aisles, skipping the non fiction, she had enough of those kicking around the house already. She slowed a bit through the fiction books, though her face grimaced at the mystery and crime novels, there was no need for those, she saw enough of that in her every day life. The last thing she needed was to come home from a case and have that be her bedtime reading. She slowed when she hit the romance section, it was cheesy, she was the first to admit it, but sometimes they just hit the spot, a pleasant over dramatic sappy distraction from real life. Her secret guilty pleasure, if you will.
Her fingers trailed along a couple of books, nose scrunching when nearly all the covers featured a broad chested half naked man. Something, rather a person, caught her eye a bit further down the aisle. It was as if the two of you were both trying to outwait the other before going for the books you actually were interested in. She surveyed you out of the corner of her eye, you were old enough she knew the chances of you being a student were unlikely, especially considering you didn’t have any kind of bag with you. Key ring dangling from your fingers, bulge of your phone in the back pocket of your jeans. You were dressed just on the brink of business casual, but not nice enough that she thought you were a professor.
She watched as your lips moved into a tiny grin, as if a fond memory was waving through your brain and you reached out to the shelf, picking out a book that she recognized the cover of, ‘Love Letters. 2000 Years of Romance’. You flicked through a couple of pages, eyes scanning the text with a little smile on your face before you flipped the entire books worth of pages and she just knew you were inhaling that new book smell. You turned the book over, reading the dedication on the back before slipping it back into its place on the shelf.
“Oh now that’s a good one, it’s not a put it back book.” The words left her lips before she even really realized she was saying them. You practically jumped, despite being more than well aware there was someone else in the aisle with you, looking up to her as you laughed softly.
“Oh! I know, I’ve read it, one of my faves. My copy’s just getting a little worse for wear.”
“A little wear and tear means a book’s well loved.” She smiled softly, “my copy usually lives on the bedside table.”
“Perfect bedtime reading.” You smiled and for a moment you thought she was going to turn back to the shelves but she looked you over briefly.
“You’re… not a student here are you?”
“What gave it away.” You laughed, “and no, just..” you checked your watch, “waiting for a friend to finish a lecture. Need an expert opinion on something.”
“Anything I could help with?” She asked and it was your turn to survey her, the blazer, shoulder bag no doubt with at least a laptop and lecture notes in it, the smudge of white board marker on her right hand.
“Dunno, what’d’you teach?”
“Well, technically just guest lecturing this week, but linguistics.”
“Ah…” Before you could comment that you were waiting on a friend who taught forensic science a man popped into the end of the aisle, a small grin on his face as he wandered down to her side.
“Now why am I not surprised to find you in the romance novel section?” He greeted with a tease and her cheeks tinged pink as she turned to him, “ready?”
“Yes.” She nodded in your direction and you gave her a little salute once his back was turned before you turned back to the shelf of books in front of you with a soft sigh, checking your watch once more. You didn’t have long before you had to be back at the office, you were hoping Daniela would hurry the hell up. Letting out a little groan you rolled your eyes, maybe if you met her at her classroom this wouldn’t take as long.
**
Considering it was Friday, Alex shouldn’t have been surprised when she was roped into after work drinks and snacks with Daniela and a few other friends. She was at least thankful that they’d ended up off campus, not wanting to be plagued with students or follow up questions from lectures during the week. City Bar Back Bay was the perfect place for them, a trendy lounge tucked away in the corner of a hotel on Exeter Street. There were cocktails, a few glasses of wine, a jug of sangria and plates of chips, cheese, soft pretzel bites and more spread across the table for everyone to share. Everyone’s spirits were lifted at the knowledge it was the end of the week, laughter and conversation flowing easily throughout the small group.
“So?” Daniela questioned, nudging at Alex’s arm, “how’re you liking Boston?”
“You ask that like I haven’t been here before.” She replied with a laugh.
“But now you’re teaching here… and at Harvard, nonetheless. That’s gotta be at least some kind of bonus points.”
“Daniela…” Alex eyed her with a chuckle, “I didn’t move here when my husband suggested it, I’m not going to uproot my life just because you hate having to do certain parts of your lesson plans.”
“Yeah.” Caitlin cut in from her other side, “I keep telling you to just hire a TA.”
“Maybe I just prefer having a friend come to town a couple of times a year.”
“You’re lazy.” Caitlin replied, stealing a chip off her plate, “where’s Murphy? She mention bailing or anything at lunch?”
“No, she said she’d definitely be here. She’s probably caught up at work.” Daniela turned back to Alex with a near whine, “c’mon… what about splitting the year? Half in DC, half here?” Alex laughed, affectionately rolling her eyes.
“Two weeks at a time is my absolute max. I love my job, and as much as I enjoy teaching, it doesn’t jump higher, I’ve spent way too long working to get where I am.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Daniela waved her off with a playful groan, she was about to say something else when a voice rung in from behind her.
“I am so sorry I’m late!” You swept in quickly, hand on her shoulder as you leant around her from behind to kiss her cheek before dropping into the open chair at the head of the small table.
“Yeah, where the hell have you been?” Daniela asked.
“Ugh.” You rolled your eyes, “turns out when you kill someone there’s an extra forty five minutes of paperwork.”
“Should I be concerned?” Alex’s ears had picked up the words, turning back your direction with a tease in her voice and a laugh on her cheeks, pulling a loud laugh from Daniela.
“No, Murphy’s FBI.” She explained.
Alex’s eyes met yours from across the table and a tiny grin split your lips as both of your heads tilted in recognition from the bookstore that afternoon. You’d changed half your outfit from then, no doubt wanting to get out of work clothes, button up swapped for a cotton tank while the blazer was replaced with a plaid flannel, your hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail, soft curls swaying as you turned your head to glance back to Daniela.
“Y/N, meet Alex Blake.” She gestured between the two of you and you extended out a hand that Alex was quick to shake.
“Oh!” Your eyes widened, “Professor Blake. I’ve heard wonderful things.”
“All lies I’m sure.” Alex chuckled with a smirk.
“There’s an Agent in there somewhere too.” Daniela teased, pouring out a glass of sangria to slide over to you.
“Don’t forget Doctor.” Caitlin cut in, snagging another treat from Daniela’s plate.
“Three titles,” you mused, “now that’s impressive.”
“Gives me a nice rotation depending on who I’m talking to.” Alex joked with a shrug and you chuckled.
“So linguist in one column.” You ticked it off on your finger, “gonna take a stab in the dark and say PhD in the next.” She nodded, “but what department for the last?”
“Behaviour Analysis Unit.”
“No fucking way.” Your arm dropped to the table, a little harder than you’d intended.
“What?” Alex asked with a small laugh, taking a sip of her drink.
“I just put in papers for an application to fill the open spot on that team.” You laughed, “I’ve got an interview with an Agent… Prentiss? Next week.”
“Oh thank god.” She let out a huff of a sigh, “we’ve been too shorthanded for too long. I was barely able to get away for this week.”
“Okay, I’m grabbing another pitcher.” Daniela grabbed the empty jug of sangria from the table top, hopping off her chair and Alex was able to slide into it to continue the conversation with you.
“So you’d say there’s a decent chance then?” You raised a brow over the rim of your glass.
“As long as Prentiss thinks so.”
“Is she a hard ass?”
“No.” Alex laughed, chewing on her lip for a moment, “she’s…. driven, loyal, passionate, has high expectations but also incredibly understanding. If you look good on paper things will probably look good, but honestly to her it probably matters more what you manage in person.”
“How so?” Your head tilted, “obviously it takes a particular type of person to be a profiler, but you’re hinting at more than that.”
“Nicely done.” She nearly smirked in your direction, “our team is a family. I know most places when you hear that term it’s a red flag you should run for the hills, but that’s not true here. We spend more time together than with anyone else, our secrets and pasts come out when we’re getting into the minds of unsubs or trying to talk them down. There are things my team knows that some of my closest friends of family have never been told, and that makes us stronger, makes us work together even better.”
“Hmm.” You nodded, sucking back more of your drink, “good to know.”
“You said your interview’s next week?” She asked and you nodded again, “I get back on Tuesday, I’ll be sure to bring your name up to Emily.”
“That’d be amazing!” You beamed, eyes widening with excitement and Alex smiled softly back at you.
She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but even from the very brief moment in the bookstore earlier she already knew that she liked you. Something was simply drawing her to you, like the universe wanted you to know each other, that you were meant to cross paths. After all, you’d already done so twice in one day without even knowing the other existed when you woke up that morning. Now that you were actually getting to spend some time together the two of you clicked instantly, falling into conversation like you were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. There was no awkwardness or weird small talk, just laughter and little jabs as if you knew exactly how to tease the other person without offending them. She knew deep within her that she had met someone that day that would be an integral part of her life, no matter how the interview ended up going.
Alex was about to elaborate to you when Daniela came back to the table with a tray in her hand and a wicked grin on her cheeks.
“It is time for shots!” She shrieked and Alex rolled her eyes.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Alex, c’mon.”
“Yeah!” Caitlin joined in, passing shots from the tray to the table, “I mean we do have a reason to celebrate after all!”
“Exactly!” Daniela high fived her, winking in her direction before raising a shot glass in Alex’s direction, “we didn’t get to celebrate your divorce when it happened, so now is as good a time as any.”
“Daniela!” Alex half scolded half laughed and the other woman simply shook her head, pointing to the shot until Alex huffed, picking up the glass and you followed suit. Glasses clinked together before liquor was sunk back, little winces echoing through the group.
“Okay!” Daniela shook it off, “that’s the liquid courage I needed.” Her eyes searched around the bar, “try to find myself a man.”
“On it.” Caitlin scooped up their drinks, handing Daniela hers before the two of them disappeared into the crowd.
“You know you’re more than welcome to join them.” Alex prompted, her hand squeezing at your arm on the table top and you laughed.
“That would require me being interested in men in the first place.”
“I’m sure there’s a few nice girls out there too.”
“Meh.” You replied, sucking back at your drink, “not into it. Besides, they invite you out and then bail? Rude. I mean…” you glanced across at her, “unless you’d rather bail too, hit up the guy from your lunch date?”
Alex couldn’t help but bark out a laugh at that, her smile reaching her eyes as she looked back to you.
“That was my ex husband.” She laughed, “we’re still good friends, just, no longer in love.”
“I’m sorry.” You frowned slightly.
“Don’t be.” She shrugged with a smile, “it wasn’t anything hurtful or sad. We got married young, we’re both incredibly passionate about our careers and we spent a lot more time working than together. Things simply… fizzled out.”
“I’m glad you’re still friends.”
“Me too.” She smiled warmly back at you and the two of you slipped into an easy conversation.
Two rounds of drinks later and Caitlin had disappeared from the bar with her conquest while you and Alex were still trapped in an endless conversation that neither of you wanted to halt. Even when Daniela would swing by every so often to check in she could tell that the two of you were clearly fast friends and there was no worry about her leaving the two of you alone any longer. So she took full advantage after another tequila shot to bite the bullet and see if the man she’d been flirting with wanted to go someplace else.
Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, having not connected with someone like this in what felt like years and Alex would tell you she felt the same. She had just finished a story when your phone buzzed on the table top and your face fell when you glanced toward it.
“Got a case?” She asked, knowing the feeling all to well.
“Not now.” You sighed, sucking back the rest of your drink, “but my weekend is officially no longer a weekend. Gotta report to the office at nine tomorrow.”
“Ugh.” She grimaced.
“Yeah.” You huffed, sliding off the stool, thankful at least that Daniela had taken care of the tab already. “It was really nice to meet you Alex.”
“Right back at you.” She smiled softly.
“Night.” You smiled, giving her a little salute.
“Hey!” Her hand wrapped around your wrist when you were a mere foot away, tugging you back and you raised a brow in her direction, “can’t just leave without my info.���
“Oh?”
“I want to know how that interview goes.” She dug into her pocket, pulling out a business card to hand off to you, “I was serious about thinking you’d make a good fit to the team. I’ll send a text to Emily in the morning, put in a good word.”
“Thank you. Really.” With a smile, you pocketed the card, “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”
“I’m sure it’ll be good news.” She assured with a grin, watching the joy spread through you as you finally did turn from the table, waving goodnight to her once more before you vanished through the bar door.
____________
@svulife-rl @clarawatson @hbkpop @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @itisdoctortoyousir @temilyrights @alexxavicry @leelizzzle @mysticfalls01 @evilregal2002 @alcabots @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @augustvandyne @supercriminalbean @lex13cm @prentiss-theorem @happenstnces @whiteberryx @heidss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss l @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @emobabeyy @theclassicgaycousin @kalixxa @leftoverenvy @bigolgay @rustyzebra @aliensaurusrex
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icon-cloud · 26 days
Text
Sleep Helps
Sometimes you wake up feeling like shit.
Includes: Sick character, Overall, pretty soft
WC: 946
Waking up, Swiss didn’t feel right. He wasn’t usually someone to stay in bed for long, aside from of course, the fun activities. There were just too many things to do, and too many people to annoy and launch himself dramatically at. Why would he stay in bed and willingly subject himself to boredom when there was something to do? 
Today felt different though. His eyes felt dry, a little crusty. It stung a little to open his eyes actually. His skin felt a little more sensitive than usual he supposed. Like it was stretched a little too much. 
Sitting up, he took a deep breath and groaned loudly, while rubbing his hand harshly on his face. Slouching forward, he pulled his arms close to his lap before doing a cursory look around his room and decided to take a shower. 
Showers usually helped. The steam opened up his nasal passage and rehydrated his eyes significantly. Plus, it always helps to just start the day clean, it felt nice and it was a good way to wake up in his mind. 
Stepping out the shower he got dressed relatively quickly and shuffled his way into the kitchen, to the coffee pot. 
Rain soon found Swiss glaring at the coffee machine, almost as if it spoke to him, and accused him of being a eunuch. Slowly, he approached before asking softly, “Hey wisp, are you alright? You’re usually up earlier than this… and more coherent.”
Squinting, Swiss turned his gaze towards Rain and replied in a scratchy voice, “The da-” his voice cut off harshly as he turned his face to cough into his elbow. Closing his eyes, Swiss angled his head to the ceiling. Methodically, he took a few shallow breaths to calm his breathing before continuing, “The damned coffee is empty, and my head hurts too much to fix it.” 
Rain winced at the multi ghouls voice. What was usually a low timbre, had morphed into a dry hoarse mockery of his usual tone. All around Swiss didn’t look like his usual, bubbly self. 
Frowning, he approached Swiss and gently grasped his arm to pull him softly, before saying, “Come on my wisp. You don’t sound too good. So, let's get you laid down and I can bring you something warm.” Looking to Swiss, he tilted his head before giving a shy smile and said, “I don’t think coffee is what you need at the time being anyway.”
Swiss didn’t protest when Rain pulled him closer. Instead, he chose to lean his head onto his current partner’s shoulder when he wrapped his arm around him, allowing the water ghoul to lead them both back to his room. 
Opening the door to his room, they shuffled to Rain’s bed. “Alright Smiles, give me a second and you can lay back down. You wanna strip down or have some PJ’s?”
Grumbling he replied hoarsely, “Skin hurts. Don't want anything.” Stiffly, he worked his way out of his short worn outfit of the day until he got to his boxers. 
Hunched awkwardly, he smiled gently to himself as he watched rain worry over the state of his bed before he whispered, “The bed is fine the way it is Lilly, lemme get in please.”
Turning to Swiss, he bit his lip softly as he observed the sick ghouls slouched figure. “Alright, yea go on and get comfortable.” Leaning against the bed, he tilted his head while he watched Swiss gingerly climb into the bed. Once he got to the center he flounced forward, sighing in relief. 
Gathering the blankets around him, he asked Rain where Aether was, frowning when the other answered displeased. “Aether was called away this morning. Apparently a different location needs a skilled Quint to help train some newly summoned. Aeth is gonna be away for a little bit.”
“Ah well, he’s always lecturing us about how we can’t always rely on him. I suppose it was bound to happen,” was the scratchy reply given by Swiss. Whining he asked in a small voice, “Can you just… I feel real crappy Lils, can you just hold me a little?” 
Squinting mirthfully, Rain snorted before saying, “Is that not the exact reason why I shouldn’t get in bed with you at the moment?” Laughing he said, “Move over ya big lump, you’re taking up all the room!”
Swiss gave him an impish grin and said, “Scuse you, I’m sick. I don’t need to move at all. You can make room.” As he said this he playfully turned his head away from Rain with a small grin, only to give a short squeal when the other began shoving him to the side.
Rain grinned down at him, causing small wrinkles to form around his eyes. Haloed by the golden light coming in through the sheer curtains of the room, he appeared to be almost celestial to Swiss. 
Unable to help himself, Swiss hooked an arm around the other's neck to gently pull him down. Settled on top of him, Swiss cupped Rain’s cheek, and nuzzled him gently before giving in to kiss Rain.
Closing his eyes, Rain smiled against the other, before turning his head and leaned into Swiss’ neck. Hugging himself against the other’s body, he pulled them both onto their sides and whispered, “Go to sleep Wisp. There’s always the chance you’ll feel better in the afternoon.”
Sighing quietly he replied, “Yea, you’re right. Thanks Rain, love you.” 
It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. He couldn’t quite breath right, and his throat hurt, but he knew he was safe. Should anything happen he knew Rain would look after him while he slept.
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xylianasblog · 10 months
Text
Frequency
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Pairings: Agedup Human! Neteyam (26) X Fem!Human reader (22)
Summary: Sundays are always a nice way to spend some time with your second family, but how can one person you’ve barely met be so consuming of every part of you.
Warnings: MDNI, p in v, uhhh uhhh.. spicy.. steamy.. teasing and praising, dom Neteyam.
< Previous , Next >
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“O-oh fuck!” You stuttered out as pleasure ripped through your body, you couldn’t help but let your head rest against the pillow beneath you.
“That’s my pretty girl I knew you could take all of me.” That deep voice groaned out from behind you, the feeling of being so full clouding your mind. “P-please.” You whined as you pressed back against him, begging him to move.
He groaned slightly as he pulled out only leaving the tip before quickly snapping his hips and hitting deep inside. You cried out loudly, tugging on the sheets with your tight grip. “N-ngh.. Oh my..” you are momentarily blinded by stars clouding your vision. “Yes! Just like that more please!” You begged through your moans.
His hand traced up your curved back before tangling into your hair, grabbing ahold of your hair and roughly tugging your head back as he repeatedly thrust into you at a rough and brutal place.
Drawing moaning and whimpers from your parted lips. Each of his thrusts drives you wild as he kissed the entrance of your cervix with his cock. “S-so good.. gonna... I’m gonna.” You cried out feeling the familiar feeling of your orgasm approaching. Your soft gummy walls clenched around his throbbing member, pulling soft moans and groans from him.
“Fuck that’s it, pretty girl.. let it go for me.” He ordered, you couldn’t help but follow his order as you felt yourself let go, your juices flowing over his member, soaking him in your essence.
You sat up with a gasp, your body humming with the aftermath of your dream. The ache between your legs let you know it wasn’t real. You groaned softly as you fell back against the bed whining out a small ‘fuck me’
Today was Sunday and on Sundays, you spent the day with the Sully family, normally that’s fine but today? Today Neteyam would be there and that made your body excited in ways you couldn’t understand.
Knowing he was so close yet so far had your mind, body, and soul calling out for this man. You sighed softly as you ran your fingers through your hair. You needed to collect yourself and take a breather before going to get ready.
Slowly making your way out the bed you began cleaning up your home before going to get ready. After a nice shower and your usual morning routine, you were dressed in a nice white sundress that flowed out at the waist and paired with a pair of black gladiator sandals. Your hair resting down in its natural state slightly damp from your shower.
Neytiri made it a rule that on Sundays everyone was to dress nice, and you never minded you enjoyed the times you got to see the family in such formal clothing.
After making sure you grabbed everything you needed you were good to go. Around 25 minutes you pulled into the Sully’s driveway, parking, and turned off the car. You needed a minute to prepare yourself, to let everything sink in for you this time felt different knowing Neteyam was inside.
“Hello, guys!” You called from the doorway of the foyer, everyone looked up and smiled. “Y/N!” The youngest of the siblings yelled, a small ‘oof’ slipped past your lips as she tackled you into a hug. “Hi, my TukTuk! I’ve missed you!” You squealed as you returned the tight hug.
“Hey, baby girl! Kiri told us your gig went amazing and the song you sang was better than the original.” Called Jake from his spot on the couch as he watched the football game. Neytiri only rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention to you. “Yes yes. Next time we will come for sure. I miss hearing you sing my daughter.” You felt your face grow hot from the slight praises this happened every time they gave you small praises like this. They made you feel good and appreciated. “Thank you, guys. I’ll sing a small song today before dinner if you’d like.”
This has Jake sitting up and turning to you, his soft baby blue eyes wide with excitement, while Neytiri had a soft gleam in her intimidating amber yes. “We’d love that sweet girl. Now Kiri is upstairs in her old bedroom.” You gave a quick 'thank you' before hurrying upstairs to see Kiri before Neytiri would call everyone down for dinner.
Your trek to Kiri's room was interrupted by a strong hand wrapping around your throat, you were turned around and backed up into the wall. You didn't have much time to process anything as you whimpered quietly. The way your body hummed with excitement you instantly realized who had cornered you, a small moan slipped past your slightly parted lips as you let your eyes meet those amber eyes.
Those eyes stared you down as if waiting for you to protest, yet you never did if anything your eyes were pleading with those eyes to touch you. "Pretty girl..." came his breathless reply. your mind was in a small haze all you could muster was a small 'hmm.' Neteyam chuckled quietly as he pressed his body closer to yours, his leg slipping between your own, thigh pressing up against your already dripping womanhood.
Your eyes closed from the slight friction his thigh bought you. though the slight haze you were vaguely aware of his hand slowly sliding up your thigh and roughly squeezing your skin no doubt leaving a bruise behind. You let out small little moans as his legged rubbed your heat not caring about the position you both were in or the fact that someone could find you in such a compromising way.
His hold on your throat tightened a just a bit, his eyes getting darker with need. “I should have you like this more often.” He murmured and you could help the way your eyes rolled back at the way he sounded. His voice thick with lust, he wanted nothing more than to take you right here, right now with his family downstairs.
“I’ll let you go pretty girl.. I’ll see you later.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips as he pulled away smiling sweetly at you. He walked away heading downstairs, leaving you there dazed.
It was now after dinner and everyone was relaxing in the living-room as they got ready to listen to you sing, never needing to hear the beat of the song. Only the soft sound of your voice filled the entire room.
“We walked through the waters, Shallow's gettin' colder. I know this is harder, Outside of new love's protection. Commitment ain't easy.. With two hearts beatin', Gotta dance through the seasons. Whatever you need, best believe, I will be there.”
You closed your eyes as you let the song flow through you and washing over the family like calming waves.
“Through the highs and lows, the ebbs and flows. All the things we can't control, I hope you know that my heart is steady. Through the highs and lows, I'll hold you close like greed to gold, I won't let go. I hope you know that my heart is steady.”
“Let my love be your shelter. Your words be my helper, keep us safe from the weather. All's fine when we fight together. Do my best not to let you down, lift you up when you're on the ground. Nothing better than what we found with each other, not another, who could love me."
Feeling an intense gaze on you, you opened your eyes to catch Neteyam staring at you. His eyes held many emotions as he listened. There was a shift between you two as you sang the last bit of the song, the frequency in yall's waves growing stronger. As if you were calling to him, singing this song just for him.
"Through the highs and lows, the ebbs and flows, all the things we can't control. I hope you know that my heart is steady. Through the highs and lows, I'll hold you close like greed to gold, I won't let go I hope you know, that my heart is steady."
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Tag list: @otasia @blueslxt-primary @tiredmamaissy @justasimps-blog @oceanstar19 @kxamtxomawteyam @avatar4life @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap @ghostreadersthings @lauratstrange @manumanulau @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @leelumenaura @cinetrix
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hi! i love you kirishima tōru x reader fics!! (⁠●⁠♡⁠∀⁠♡⁠) i'm wondering if i can ask for another one but a halloween special? (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
Got this after Halloween, but spooky season forever!!
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Toru Kirishima x Reader
Although he had come to Yaeka’s school dozen of times now, Kirishima still felt awkward every time. The small fixtures and space intended for children made him look like a giant, coupled with their shining enthusiasm an innocent, made him feel more out of place than ever.
Especially today, since it was Halloween.
Kirishima had to pass no less than 5 fairy princesses to get to Yaeka’s class, who was having a Halloween party. Parents & guardians were invited to attend; and since Yaeka’s father couldn’t attend (much to his silent disappointment) Kirishima was to act as her stand in.
He arrived at the classroom, dressed in his ‘normal person’ costume, and was greeted by the parents who recognized him from pick up. Sara and Kaede also come up to see him, excited to show him their costumes.
“Kirishima-san!” Sara exclaimed in her usual enthusiasm. “Look, look! Do you like my costume??” The tag on the collar of her puppy costume jiggle as she jumped up and down.
“Ah, of course. I almost thought they brought a real dog in her. Makes me wish I had some treats for you.” Sara beamed with an excited ‘woof, woof’. “And, Kaede-chan, you’re a mermaid?”
“Y-Yes…” The typically shy girl answered. “M-Mermaids are my favorite books.”
“Well, it looks good.” Kirishima told her, which made her smile.
“Kirishima-san.” The yakuza looked up to see Yaeka coming over. Her cat costume still as cute as when she left the house today. “Here. I saved this for you.” Kirishima blinked when she handed him a small pumpkin plate with a cupcake on it. “Chocolate is Kirishima’s favorite.”
He smiled softly at Yaeka’s gesture. Then took the cupcake before immediately biting into it. “Wow. These are good.”
“[Y/N]-sensei made them.” His little cat replied. As well as explain that she made vanilla ones, which she had had.
‘Oh…’ Kirishima thought. That was right. He hadn’t seen Yaeka’s teacher yet. He hadn’t seen her much since that originally met that afternoon after she was hired.
He scanned the room quickly and spotted her by the snack table. Dressed like a princess and handing out sweets to the needy. “I’m gonna go thank her for the cupcake. You play with your friends some more, then we’ll go home.”
“OK!” Sara answered for Yaeka, and was already dragging her off to play.
He weaved his way through the crowd. Before he could introduce himself quietly, [Y/N] spotted him and announced, “Kirishima-san! How nice to see you again!”
“[Y/N]-san…” He replied back bashfully. He still wasn’t use to people being excited to see him.
“It’s nice of you to come to the party and help out. Or are you just here for the free candy?” She teased. To which Kirishima had to smile.
“Oh, I’ll go just about anywhere there’s free food.” That’s basically how he joined the yakuza.
[Y/N] smiled and handed him a juice from a tiny, paper cup covered in ghosts. “You didn’t wear a costume? I know it wasn’t in the invitation, but adults were welcome to dress up too.”
“It’s not really my thing.” Kirishima didn’t have the heart to tell her that his outfit was as much of a costume as anything for him. “But look at you. It’s….a lot.”
“Oh. I don’t do anything half way.” [Y/N] replied with a chuckle. Adjusting her crown. “I let the kids pick and princess/queen/royalty theme won out. There were a few votes for ‘dinosaur’ but that felt a little ageist on the back end.” Kirishima choked on his juice at the joke. Trying not to laugh completely.
“Well it…look nice. You look nice I mean.”
“Oh,” [Y/N] replied with a blush on her cheeks, “thank you.”
Kirishima smiled back, and was about to say something, when he felt a smile tug on her sleeve. “Kirishima. It’s time to go home.”
“Oh. Right.” He replied to Yaeka’s soft prodding. Then turned to [Y/N] and said, “I suppose we should get going.”
“Of course,” she replied. Then seemed to have a light bulb moment before she quickly fussed at the dessert table. “Here. Take these with you.” She said as she offered Kirishima a plate of cupcakes. “Yaeka says you have a lot of people visit or stay over with your family. You should take them home and share. Sweets are always better with friends!”
The way she smiled when she said that, Kirishima was sure she meant it.
“Thanks. It’s more than those bums deserve.” [Y/N] giggled. Then waved them off as they left for home.
Kirshima still gave the cupcakes to the guys. He wasn’t a monster.
But he did keep one more chocolate one for himself. Enjoying it as he thought about Halloween decorations and the pretty princess who made them.
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deceitfuldevout · 1 year
Text
Hidden Treasure (Part 9)
Arranged Marriage AU: Dark!Tommy Shelby x Wife!Reader
Warning(s): +18, Dub con, Nsfw, ANGST.
Author's note(s): Basically, Tommy being a sad little man trying to redeem himself.
You decided to wear all black for tonight, in honor of your dead marriage. Your dress wasn't fitted, instead you went for a gown that would drape down elegantly. One that would be easier to slip off. You lay your hair out in a bombshell wave with a bold ruby lip. This would be the last time Tommy would drag you to one of his pity parties.
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You clink open your jewelry box and pull-out diamond earrings. Then came that choker Tommy favored out of your entire collection. He enjoyed tugging it from behind, admiring how the gems’ shine against your skin. How it would glow in dim lighting. You try to hook the back of it on a few times. It was your mistake to do it while your hair was down.
“Here, let me.” it’s Tommy. He was earlier than usual. You look up from the vanity mirror and spot him approaching. A hand reaches to lift your locks out of the way. He guides you out of the car and into the car. opening the door before proceeding inside. While seated in the back, Tommy doesn’t let go of your hand. Every now and then his thumb brushes the back of it. He’s the first one out of the vehicle. Opening the door before you’ve had a chance to as always. He held out his hand for you to take.
This time it was...different. Tommy had kept you close by him. He held an arm around your waist, not with control, but to seek comfort. He kept conversation with you, listening to what you had to say. Even offering to get you a drink. Tommy had given you a smile. A real, genuine smile with his eyes squinting. His grip around your waist is gentle, not a warning. You couldn't believe it. Was he actually enjoying your company?
Tommy leans in your ear, “Would you like a dance with me?” It was a question, not a command. He wasn’t demanding but wondering if you were alright with it. For once, he was asking for permission. You hadn’t danced with him since your wedding day. Tommy held out a hand for you to take. Slowly, but sure enough, you held it. During your first ever dance together it was Tommy who took the lead. This time around was different. He let you move around freely, so that the two of you were in unison, complimenting one another.
He spoke up, “You look beautiful,” his voice sounding soft, sincere. That was a first. What on earth has happened to your husband? What made him in such a pleasant mood? You faintly whisper, “Thank you,” Tommy’s thumb brushes against your side, “I want this to work, if you give me a chance, I promise you I’ll do better than what you’ve had to deal with,” he looks you in the eyes. Is he serious? You avoid his gaze, “What do you want Tommy?”
“Nothing, only you,” There it was. No...nonono he wasn't allowed to play with your heart. Not after the hell he'd put you through. You began to tear up, “No, there’s always a catch, otherwise you wouldn’t be so nice to me,” The only thing that helped ease the awkward silence was the music playing. Tommy sighs, “I know, I haven’t been there like I should’ve. You don’t deserve to be treated like–”
“Like your personal whore?” you scoff, “That’s what everyone else thinks,”
Tommy’s heart aches. Of course, that’s how you’d feel after his constant disregard for your emotional well-being. He wouldn’t be surprised if you hated him, or even wanted nothing more than to see him dead in a ditch. It's not the first time someone felt that way towards him. It certainly wouldn't be the last. He pulls you in closer, “You’re mine, and I’m yours, that’s it, fuck what everybody else has to say, I want is for you to be happy,” It was as if he were an entirely different man. This was not the Tommy Shelby you married.
This was a different side of your husband. One that you hadn’t known until today. Later that night, he actually wanted to keep you close him. He made you feel important, wanted, special. When you reach the house, you were still on high alert. Perhaps he'd already found out about your plan. Your feet are swollen and throbbing. It’ll all be worth it once your plan works. If it’ll work this time. Tommy undresses for the night. His eyes then motion to your dress, “Do you need me to leave or-”
“No, it’s fine, really,” you start to undress yourself. Tommy couldn’t help but stare. You could feel it, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what dear?”
“Like you’re going to eat me...”
“Do you want me to?” he playfully smirks. Your eyes widen for a moment then avoid his gaze. As if you were thinking about it for a moment before your head nods in approval. Tommy’s smile falters. His eyes are now hooded with lust. He strides to the bed where you sat. He’s seated right beside you. Holding your hands in his. He reaches in to caresses your jaw before placing a gentle kiss on your lips.
He pulls back momentarily then begins to deepen it. He slowly drags the top of your dress down to test the waters. A gentle squeeze on your breast gave you a small jolt of pleasure, whining from the sensation of your now tender breasts. He stops immediately, “S’alright love, no need to be shy at this point, hm?” was that a joke? You couldn’t tell. He lays you out on the bed, removing his shirt in the process. Revealing a semi-fresh tattoo of what appeared to be your name right on top of his heart.
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Your nerves always seem to get the best of you. You’re frozen and unable to move. Tommy looks up to see your petrified expression. His hands rub up and down your legs to help ease your mind. It didn’t. He’ll have to try and sink you slowly into comfort. To your surprise, he buries his head underneath your dress.
You pull your skirt up to reveal his blue gems looking up at you, with a pink tongue poking out of his gaping mouth. He presses the muscle against your slit as he laps at it hungrily. He traces it along your opening a few times, raising his head to give attention to your throbbing clit. Within a few seconds you’re already giving in. Your knees begin to weaken. They go lax as he laps away vigorously against your most intimate parts.
Tommy flattens his tongue a few times before dipping it inside. His nose rubs against your bud. He grinds his face against your sex. Moaning from the lewd act. He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks, hard. You’re practically melting in his embrace. Tommy eagerly laps you through a hard orgasm. Shutting his eyes to focus solely on his duty of making you cum.
You find yourself riding against his face shamelessly. In the blissful aftermath, you could feel his lips press a smile against your soaking core. Tommy raises his head. His mouth and chin glistens, “You alright love?” his deep voice is...calming, soothing even. He reaches to brush back a stray hair behind your ear. You nod and whisper a faint, “Yes,” for reassurance, reaching in to touch his scarred abdomen, “I want to touch you, please Tommy…”
He held your hand in his, guiding it towards his manhood. He wraps your palm around his member, stroking it against his shaft, “Like this…” after a few seconds he lets go. His hand reaches in to caress your folds. His digits tease your bud to your liking. Everything about it was sensational. A sparking interest between the two of you. Two souls combining into one being.
Tommy lets out a deep grunt before painting your mound with his arousal. His hand moves faster to chase your climax and soon you were moaning underneath him. He leans in to kiss you softly. Then again but deeper. You tilt you head up eagerly. He held his leaking tip against you bud, rubbing once, twice, then a third time against it, before sinking himself in.
Your mouth gapes from the sensual stretch deepening. Tommy hisses, his eyes flutter shut. Your open arms are his very own paradise on earth. They wrap around his upper torso as soon as he begins to pick up speed. Soon enough the both of you were became a panting mess. Calling for each other’s names. He takes his sweet time. Kissing, caressing, whispering sweet nothings to soothe his wife’s worries away.
Tommy dips his head into the crook of your neck to place a kiss before tilting against the side of your temple as he whispers, “I love you,” into the shell of your ear. He didn’t care if your feelings were mutual or not. He wanted you to know how he felt. Gestures like this from him were rare you knew that much. So why did you seek refuge in his arms every single time?
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heytherejulia · 1 year
Text
Happy birthday my love ~ H.H.
pairing: harry holland x reader
summary: it's your boyfriend's birthday
warnings: pregnancy, swearing
word count: 1,4k+
Happy birthday Harry and Sam!
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It wasn’t another normal Tuesday, although it kind of felt like it. However it was not only valentine’s day but also your boyfriend Harry and his twin Sam’s 24th birthday. Harry was out of town as usual working with Tom so there wasn’t that much partying and celebrating besides facetime dinner with all of the Hollands, best friends and partners and maybe a facetime date with Harry later that night if you’ll be lucky. 
You wanted to visit him but your shitty boss didn’t give you your well deserved week off so the best you could do was a video call and forcing Tom into giving Harry the gift you bought for him months before. 
It really bugged you that you couldn’t be with Harry on such a special day but it was beyond your powers, so you decided to do anything you could to make his day at least enjoyable. 
You called him first thing in the morning with wishes and spent around two hours just talking and catching up on the last few days when you weren’t exactly able to talk that much because of Harry’s busy schedule. 
‘I really wish I could be there with you, I’m sorry I didn’t make it babe.’
‘It’s not your fault love, we’re gonna make it up when I'm back.’ 
His smile wasn’t the brightest but you still could see the sparkles in his eyes. It made you both happy and sad, you really missed your baby.
‘I really hope you’re gonna have fun with Tom today, and don’t forget about the facetime dinner with all of us, your mum and dad really look forward to it.’ 
‘Yeah, I remember, look I gotta go now, we’re gonna talk later right?’ 
‘Of course, have fun tonight. I love you.’ 
‘I know, I love you too. See you at dinner’
Before you could say anything the line went silent. Harry’s voice stayed with you for the whole day. Why did he say ‘see you at dinner’? Did he mean over the phone or was it just a misspoke? Either way you spent your day helping Nikki with the dinner and getting ready. Harry wasn’t going to be there but you still wanted to be dressed nicely for the occasion. 
Right before the dinner you heard a doorbell. Everyone stopped in their tracks because you haven’t expected anyone else besides Harrison and Grace and Sam’s girlfriend, Clark who were already at your place. 
You went to the door with the feeling it’s just your neighbor who needed to borrow some sugar. You opened the door and indeed saw your neighbor Milly. 
‘You need to borrow some more sugar?’ 
She looked embarrassed. The thing about her was that she baked when her anxiety was kicking in and always forgot to buy extra pack of sugar or any other sweetener. 
‘If you don’t mind’ 
‘No, of course not, let me just grab it real quick.’
You came to the kitchen and saw the hope in everyone’s eyes. You felt terrible to crush it. 
‘My neighbor needs some sugar.’ 
You saw the sadness filling the room. 
‘Hey, maybe try to call them already, I’ll be back in a minute.’
Sam took his phone out and you went towards the door. 
‘Here’s the su-’
‘Hi darling.’
And here outside of your door stood not only Milly but also Tom and your beloved boyfriend. 
‘OH MY GOD’
You flung towards him and hugged him tightly. 
‘You’re here, your family is going to be so happy. C’mon guys.’ 
You greeted Tom and rushed them into the living room. You heard happy screams and your heart swelled. He was home for his birthday with his family, it was all you wanted since the beginning. Your eyes filled with happy tears. 
You handed Milly the pack. 
‘Let me know if the cake turns out good.’
‘You got it. And have fun!’ 
When you entered the kitchen to finish cooking you sighed deeply. For some reason your mind went into panic mode. Your second present for Harry was still in your bottom drawer waiting for the right time but now the closer it got, the more nervous you were.
You heard footsteps and felt someone’s presence behind you. You turned around just to peek at whoever came in. 
‘Tom. Why aren’t you with your fam?’
‘Wanted to talk to you.’
‘Oh.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, everything’s fine, I’m just slightly nervous about the dinner.’
‘I’m not talking about this. You know what I mean. When do you want to tell him? When it’s out there?’ 
‘Cut it, Holland. It’s none of your business.’ 
‘Of course it is. It’s my brother and you’re like a sister to me. I’m just looking after you all’
‘I’m not ready, okay? It's a big thing, I don’t want to throw it on him on his birthday especially now that he’s so stressed with work.’
‘Do you really think that you will find a better time? There’s not gonna be the perfect one. Just think about it.’
He squeezed your shoulder and came back to the living room. You finished at the kitchen and brought all of the food to the table. 
‘Come on, let’s eat.’ 
The dinner was really nice, talking, joking, telling stories about the twins when they were kids, catching up. You remained quiet most of the time enjoying the happiness of your loved ones. Yet the closer it’s been getting to the moment you stay alone with Harry, the more stressed you’ve become. 
Around midnight all of your guests started to head out. You bid your farewell and went back inside to clean up a mess after the dinner. After a few minutes you heard Harry entering the kitchen. You were doing the dishes when he came behind you and wrapped his hands around your tummy. 
‘Hi darling.’ 
‘Hi.’
‘C’mon. Let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day for both of us.’
‘I can’t, I need to clean this up.’ 
‘No no no no. WE can’t clean this up tomorrow after we spend our well deserved time together.’ 
‘Technically it’s already tomorrow, baby.’
‘Imma force you to come with me if you won’t do that voluntarily.’ 
He squeezed you harder and tried to lift you but you stopped him. 
‘Don’t do that.’ 
‘Why? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing, just please don’t.’ 
‘Okay, love. Can we go to bed now?’ 
You nodded and followed him into your room. You both got ready to bed and got under the duvet. You were lying on your back and Harry was on his side playing with your hair. There were a few minutes of silence between you two when he spoke up. 
‘Is everything alright love? You’ve been quite distant today. Are you sure you’re okay?’ 
‘Yeah I just… I’ve got you a present.’ 
He smiled adorably at you. 
‘You know you didn’t have to, right?’ 
‘I do but you mean so much to me and deserve a world. Happy birthday and I love you.’ 
‘I love you too. C'mere.’ 
He sat you on his lap while opening the box. It was just a camera equipment you knew he wanted and you saw the pure adoration of his eyes when he looked up at you. 
‘Thank you, my love.’ 
He leaned in and kissed you gently but soon the kiss started to be way more passionate. His hands roamed around your body settling them on your waist under your (his) shirt. You pushed his lips out of your neck. He looked at you with concern. 
‘I’ve got something else for you.’ 
You reached for a small box in your drawer and handed it to him. 
‘What’s that?’ 
‘Just open it.’ 
He did as you told and opened the box. Inside was a positive pregnancy test. Your positive pregnancy test. His face was blank and you couldn’t read any emotions which made you even more nervous. 
‘Is this real or is this just a prank?’ 
‘It’s real.’ 
Silence. 
‘Look if you don’t want this you don’t have to stick around, I know it’s shitty timing but I figured you at least deserve to know.’ 
Silence. 
You were terrified. You’d rather prefer him to get mad and yell at you than the silence and uncertainty what next. 
‘Y/N’ 
You looked at him. 
‘I want this. With you. I love you and I’m not giving up on neither of you.’ 
Your eyes filled with tears. 
‘Hey, don’t cry, baby. It’s okay, come here.’ 
He held you close while you silently talked about your pregnancy. Some time after you both lied down. Harry spooned you and kept his hand on your still flat stomach. 
‘I’m scared Harry.’ 
‘I know. I’m scared too. But it’s okay, we’ll figure it out. Seriously, we’ll be fine. Get some sleep, sweetheart, it’s been one hell of a day huh?’
‘Yeah. Good night, baby.’ 
He kissed the back of your head. 
‘Night, love’ 
82 notes · View notes
angstyaches · 10 months
Text
Payton Gets Spiked
Loosely inspired by reading this post.
If you want more of an introduction to Dani, read this first.
CW: gender stuff, dysphoria, misgendering, brief mention of gendered bathroom dilemma, intense social anxiety, people with varying shitty opinions, spiking with alcohol, references to past binge drinking/alcohol dependency, low self esteem, emeto, crying, panicking, insecure/awkward caretaker.
Word Count: almost 8,000 - oops. If you finish this to the end, you're a real one.
___
“Alright, Dani! I’m just heading out back... to...”  
It was fifteen minutes after the coffee shop had closed, night had settled in on the streets outside, and Payton had just finished closing the till. It should have been the most glorious moment of their day, the moment just before their time became their own again and they could bask in the knowledge that they’d done a great day’s work, but that reward was stolen by the swooping sensation in their stomach. Their day wasn’t over just yet. 
They’d been in the middle of calling out to Dani, who had been assigned the closing shift alongside them, to tell her that they were heading out back to get changed.
But they stopped themself. 
Dani was engrossed with sweeping the floors to the beat of whatever she was listening to on her headphones. Payton decided to leave her to it. She didn’t like being interrupted in the middle of a task, as Payton had quickly learned during her first few weeks here. 
And besides, it wasn’t as though Payton was in a hurry to get to the pub, where, if the group chat was anything to go by, the others had already convened. The longer Payton could delay being wedged into a dimly-lit nook surrounded by the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke from the 80s, the better. 
Guilt gnawed at them now, along with the nerves. They shouldn’t be dreading Jake’s birthday; they liked Jake. He deserved to have people coming to his birthday drinks who were excited to be there. 
Payton went out back and stood in front of their locker.
They closed their eyes, allowing their mind to wind down after their shift. They stretched their arms out to the side and breathed in, slowly and deeply letting their lungs press out against their ribs. They didn’t feel particularly compressed, but they’d gotten into the habit of doing breathing exercises regularly while binding – in no small part to keep Autumn from worrying about them. 
They undid their apron and pulled their polo shirt off over their head. They opened up their locker to grab the cropped purple hoodie they’d brought to change into for the evening. Payton didn’t usually partake in the loungewear look unless they were grocery shopping or travelling or chilling out at home, but Jake had requested that nobody ‘dress up nice’ tonight.  
Before picking up the hoodie, Payton glanced down at themself, their sides bare above their waistband. Now that they thought about it, they wished they had worn dungarees instead of cargo pants today. Not for any reason they could put their finger on, which was frustrating. They just had the vague, hollow feeling in the pit of their stomach that they would have felt fifty times better about themself if they’d been wearing dungarees. 
They sucked in another deep breath, this time to try to soothe the flare of anxiety. 
Their phone screen lit up with a message, and they snatched it up from the shelf in their locker.  
A: Finished work yet? X 
Payton grinned. The simplest check-ins from Autumn always made their heart flutter. 
P: Finished!!! x 
A: You've got someone to walk over to the bar with you, right? X 
P: Yep, Dani and I are sticking together, don’t worry! <3 x 
A: Awesome! Have fun tonight, baby x 
Payton kind of wished they’d insisted that Autumn come along tonight, but as far as they knew, nobody else was bringing their partner, so they would have felt a little awkward making themself the exception. Besides, it was good for Payton to get out there and be independent every so often. 
And it made Autumn worry less. 
P: I will x 
A: Message me when you get home x 
They glanced over their shoulder as Dani came into the changing room.  
She didn’t have her headphones on anymore, but she was humming to herself as she walked. Not in a gleeful kind of way; she hummed intensely, as though her sanity depended on whether or not she hit each individual note. She went straight over to her locker, disappearing from Payton’s line of sight, but Payton didn’t hear her open it. 
They put their phone in their pocket and reached into their locker for their hoodie. 
“Does that hurt?” 
Payton looked over their shoulder again – Dani was looking at them – and then down at their torso. They were still standing there in just their black cargo pants and their binder. It hadn’t really occurred to them that they were topless, but they supposed they were.  
“Sorry,” Dani said bluntly, mistaking their embarrassment for offence. “Was that rude?” 
“It’s fine,” Payton smiled. “And no, as long as I don’t wear it for too long, it doesn’t hurt.” 
Dani blinked. For a second, Payton considered that she might have been working up to asking a follow-up question. 
“Okay,” she said instead, turning to open her locker. 
The two of them finished getting ready without talking any more. Dani didn’t actually change her clothes; she just swapped her apron for a baggy grey zip-up hoodie that she didn’t zip up. She had already been wearing dark blue jeans and a graphic tee, even though the dress code for staff members was black trousers and block-coloured tops. Dani would never have paraded that outfit in front of Annie or Jake; she must have kept in mind, while getting dressed that morning, that Payton was supervising today.  
They weren’t sure how this realisation made them feel. Was it a sign of disrespect that she only challenged the rules on their watch? Or was a good thing that she felt comfortable being herself with them? 
Anxiety spiked in Payton’s stomach again. The last thing they wanted was for the newer staff members to dread the sight of them, or watch how they acted around them, but it was also in their nature to be a pushover, and they hated to think they were falling into old habits.  
They smiled as they gestured for Dani to step out of the shop before them. Not because they were being a pushover, but so that they could set the alarm, lock up, and then check twice to make sure that the door was actually locked.  
It soothed them a little as they stood outside and peered through the glass into the dark shop, sure in the knowledge that nothing was left out of place. Annie was on the opening shift tomorrow, and Payton would rather not get any passive aggressive text messages about crumbs on the floor or lights left on before 9am. 
They turned away from the shop. Dani was rocking back and forth with the balls of her feet on the edge of the path as she waited for them.  
Payton’s stomach dropped all over again as they observed her in the streetlight. Had the two of them ever even interacted outside of the shop before? 
 Despite their promise to Autumn, Payton realised they had kind of hoped that Dani would start walking by herself while they locked up, getting enough of a head start so that they wouldn’t have to make conversation. They liked Dani as a person but they didn’t have a friendly banter like Payton did with Paul, and Dani didn’t talk the ear off anyone who would listen like Rachel did. 
“You’re opening with Annie tomorrow, right?” Payton asked as they both started walking. They immediately cringed. Defaulting to talking about work had to have been the laziest, most cowardly option. 
���Yeah,” Dani said. Her tone might have indicated that she’d rather have all of her wisdom teeth pulled at once. It also might have indicated that opening the shop with Annie was her favourite activity of all time. Payton had no idea which was closer to the truth. 
“I... like your t-shirt, by the way.” It’d taken them several glances throughout the day, since the print was faded in parts, but they’d deduced that it was from some horror movie or another.  
“It’s vintage.”  
“Oh, really?” Payton thought that maybe they’d be treated to the story of how it’d come to be in her possession. 
Dani tugged at the headphones that were still sitting around her neck. “I’m putting my headphones back on. For the traffic noise.” 
“Oh, okay,” Payton smiled. Since they’d come outside, only about six cars had passed them by, but they weren’t about to point that out. If Dani didn’t want to talk, that was fine. They were still walking together. That was one promise to Autumn locked in. 
Now for the second one, which filled them with a little more dread; to have a fun night. 
___ 
The group was still lingering by the bar when Payton and Dani arrived.  
The store owner and manager, Annie, stood with one arm across her chest and what looked like a gin and tonic in her hand. She was chatting – probably about one of her husband’s recent business ventures – to Jake, whose cheeks were bright red and whose pint of cider had almost run out.  
Rachel was perched on a bar stool, swinging herself gently from side to side as she nursed a Coke-based drink. Paul seemed to be in the middle of telling her a story; judging by the bittersweet smile that played on his lips, and the way Rachel seemed to be completely tuning him out, Payton guessed Paul was talking about Mei, the girl who’d recently broken up with him.  
I know way too much about these people, Payton thought with a wry smile to themself. 
It was Paul who spotted them first, which brought his story to a halt. 
“Hey, boss!” he cheered, shuffling towards Payton and scooping them into a quick but tight hug. They forced a smile despite their surprise, hugging him back. They’d last seen him at the coffee shop yesterday, but he was acting as though it’d been months. 
“Welcome! And Dani!” Paul grinned at her as she stood to Payton’s left. “Oh – don’t worry, I’m not going to try to hug you. Learned my lesson on that one. Come on, come over here! What are you guys drinking?” 
“I’ve got it, Paul, don’t worry,” Payton assured him. He was drunk enough that he’d probably buy a round for everyone and forget he’d done it, which Payton would rather save him from. They reckoned they should buy Jake’s next drink, seeing as it was his birthday. And Dani seemed tense – either from the walk outside, or from the Paul hug she'd been temporarily threatened by – so they decided to offer to get her first one, too. 
“Dani?” Payton tilted their head when Dani didn’t look at them; she still had her headphones on. They waved their hand gently to get her attention. 
She dragged her gaze around to look at them, and they gestured bringing a glass to their mouth. Drink? 
“Bulmers,” she announced loudly. 
Payton nodded and turned, waving to get Jake’s attention this time. He beamed when he saw them, and Payton pointed towards the near-empty glass in his hand. 
“Bulmers!” he called over the din, winking his thanks behind his thick-rimmed glasses. 
Payton smiled at the bartender and ordered the two pints of Bulmers, plus a Coke for themself. The others started making their way towards a booth. Dani stayed near the bar, not talking to or looking directly at Payton. She was making them think of an anxious stray cat who didn’t trust any of the humans present, but had decided that Payton was the least untrustworthy of them all. 
Guilt churned their stomach at that silly assumption. She was clearly just waiting politely for her drink, so Payton wouldn’t be left with three glasses to carry.  
She thanked them for her drink as it came out. Payton smiled at her and took their own glass, plus Jake’s pint, over to the table. 
Annie and Jake had slid into the booth first, on opposite sides of the table, followed by Paul on Jake’s side and Rachel on Annie’s side. Payton would have preferred – just slightly – to sit beside Paul rather than Rachel, but Dani had already slid into the booth next to Paul by the time they’d decided this. 
“Here you go, Jake,” Payton said, handing the Bulmers across the table. They were momentarily relieved to be free of the heavy, sickly smell of it, but as soon as they sat down, they were hit by the equally pungent scent of vodka wafting from Rachel’s glass. First, it made their head swim, and then their stomach lurched. Just the smell of it made them feel like their thought process was being scrambled.  
They were seated for a few seconds before realising that all six of them were leaving wet rings on the tabletop. 
“Oh! Coasters,” Payton said, relieved for the excuse to get away from the vodka smell for another few seconds. They stood up again. 
Rachel squinted up at them, shaking her head. “Genuine question, Payton; do you ever switch out of work mode?”  
Payton gave her a smile, wondering how many more they’d have to force before they became relaxed enough for a genuine one. “Yes. Sometimes.” 
They started back towards the bar. The smile slid from their face and their stomach took a dive towards the floor as they heard Annie’s voice from behind them. 
“Where’s Payton going, Rachel?” she asked.  
Except... 
She didn’t say Payton’s name, and she didn’t say ‘they’ either.  
They pressed a hand to their chest and breathed in slowly through their nose. Misgendering didn’t always get to them like this, but hearing it from someone they spent so much time around felt like a punch to the gut after already enduring so, so many. They tried to force down the throbbing sensation, which was like a scream that was rising to their heart instead of their throat.  
They were probably the first trans person Annie had ever met, and they’d always known they’d have to be patient with her. It was either that, or lose their mind, and in this economy, one couldn’t afford to lose their mind at work every other day.  
But breaking their chronic people-pleasing habits was hard when this was a constant issue. Correcting people didn’t come naturally to Payton, and on the few occasions where they did correct someone, the weight of the guilt they felt afterwards was almost just as bad. 
And guilt wasn’t a compatible companion for self-love. 
___ 
“Oh... getting coasters or something,” Rachel had responded to Annie’s question. 
Dani blinked, baffled by what she'd just heard. Had she missed something? Who the hell were they talking about? Payton had just left to get coasters; they had announced that, right before Rachel’s snide remark about how they always seemed to be working. Had Rachel misunderstood Annie’s question, then? Was there some conversation happening that Dani hadn’t –? 
Oh.  
White noise swelled in Dani’s ears for a couple of seconds. She squeezed one of the beads on her bracelet and focused on keeping her breathing steady. 
Say it, she screamed in her head, tugging at her bracelet, They. Where did they go? They went to get coasters. Just freaking say it! 
But judging by the murmurs of continued conversations, Dani the moment had passed for her to say anything to fix Annie’s mistake. She found herself equally frustrated with Rachel, who could also have corrected Annie, or at least used Payton’s pronouns in her response. 
Through the fog of irritation, Dani became aware of Paul, who was sitting to Dani’s right, handing something to Rachel, who was sitting at the other side of the table. Rachel took whatever it was and whispered harshly in Paul’s direction. 
Dani gripped her bracelet harder, resisting the urge to yank her headphones up. She fucking hated the sound of whispers, but she knew if she put her headphones on now, she’d have to deal with eye rolls at best, and verbal lecturing at worst. 
A dull clink brought her back into the moment, and she looked up to see Rachel running her finger through a streak of clear liquid that had been spilled on the table in front of her. Rachel put that finger in her mouth – yikes, gross – and grinned as she handed something back to Paul. 
A naggin of vodka, Dani realised. In blatant disregard for the no outside food or beverages request that was posted at several points around the pub, Paul had brought shop-bought alcohol into the establishment, and now Rachel was availing of it, too. This night was shaping up to be even more overwhelming than she’d expected.  
And they hadn’t even gotten around to singing ‘Happy Birthday’ yet. 
___ 
The bartender looked up from where they had not-so-subtly been checking their phone behind the counter. Payton flashed them a smile of apology and gestured towards the case of paper coasters. They counted out six and wandered back over to the table, sucking in a deep breath before they were once again submerged in the smell of vodka, cider, and the risk of being misgendered. 
“Are we going to sing Happy Birthday?” Payton wasn’t sure when Dani had taken off her headphones, but before she’d even taken a sip of her drink, she seemed to have shed her inhibitions. She was speaking now, at least. “Because if we are, you should all know that I am going to have to stick my fingers in my ears.” 
Rachel sighed, Paul took a pointed swig of his drink, and Jake half-chuckled as though he was unsure if Dani was joking or not. Payton had the feeling she was not. 
Rachel begrudgingly slid a coaster under her drink as Payton passed them around, but not before using it to mop up a long smear of clear liquid from the table. Payton didn’t remember noticing it, but maybe there had been a dribble of water there when they’d sat down. 
“And also –” Oh – Dani wasn’t finished apparently. Payton tried to cast her their most sympathetic look, but her eyes were focused on the tabletop, not on any person in particular. “If there’s going to be a billion rounds of for he’s a jolly good fellow afterwards, can you all just please tell me now? I’m not, like, opposed to it or anything, but I would like to know in advance.” 
“Oh, god. Can I ask that we… not do any of that?” A nervous grin spread across Jake’s face. “I hate Happy Birthday and all that stuff, honestly. Especially in public places.” 
“Ah, come on, it’s a bit of fun,” Rachel muttered, clicking her tongue. 
Payton caught Jake’s eye and smiled to reassure him. “How about a toast instead, then, Jake? Just a short one.” 
Jake met their gaze and matched their smile. “That, I can endure, P.” 
“Oh! Me. Me, I’ll do it. Can I do it, boss?” Paul exclaimed, as though it was Payton’s job to delegate the task. He hoisted his beer into the air, glanced around at the others, and cleared his throat dramatically. “Aheh-hem!” 
“Remember, Paul. Short and sweet now, for the love of god,” Jake grinned. 
“Happy birthday... to the best senior assistant manager, and, of course, the owner of the best beard in town – Jake. You might be ginger...” 
Jake feigned a scoff and put a hand to his hair and beard. 
“But we bloody love you, you legend!” Paul waved his glass. “Cheers!” 
“Cheers!” everyone agreed. 
“Slainte,” Annie tossed in. 
After taking a drink from their glass, Payton gasped forcefully, and took another. They were far thirstier than they’d realised, and ending up gulping down half their Coke before making themself stop. They'd had a glass of water at lunchtime today, but barely anything to drink since then. No wonder there was a funny taste in their mouth. Possible dehydration might explain why they felt especially on edge this evening, too. 
They grimaced, holding a hand against their sternum and suppressing a burp. That was a lot of carbonation to force down all at once, but they weren’t about to relieve the pressure in front of all of their coworkers.  
“Here.” Annie was flapping her fingers in the direction of Jake’s phone, which sat next to his elbow. “Give me your phone, Jake. I’ll get a picture of you, Paul, and the girls.” 
Nausea and Coke residue fizzled in the back of Payton’s throat. They parted their lips, hands trembling on either side of their glass as they prepared to correct Annie, but the fear that curdled their stomach also put a clamp on their tongue. What did they even want to her to say? Paul and Payton and the girls? Paul and the others? Just the others?  
Anything that didn’t lump them into a group they didn’t belong to would have been nice. 
They shivered at the familiar sensation of the moment passing, of another wound officially taking up residence in their body. Autumn would be so disappointed if she could see them right now. 
“And Payton.”  
Payton’s ears practically pricked up like those of a cartoon dog. They looked across the table to see that Dani was looking vaguely in Annie’s direction, her hands fidgeting with something underneath the table. Her lips were mashed together, her eyebrows tense, and she definitely the one who had just mumbled those words under their breath. 
A little bit of the sick feeling in Payton’s stomach dissipated. Annie hadn’t heard, but... just knowing that someone else at the table had clocked the mistake made them feel infinitely less lonely at this table. 
Annie stood up, wielding Jake’s phone, and Payton felt a resurgence of queasiness.  
“Alright,” Annie declared, “lean in, everyone, lean in. Dani, lean in, please! Thank you. Alright, good…” 
In the last few seconds, Payton pulled the clear plastic clip out of their hair, letting their bangs fall loose over one side of their face. They held up a hand in a peace sign to partially obscure their jawline on the other side. They almost retched as they followed Annie’s instructions and leaned in; there was a stronger smell wafting from Rachel’s drink than before, if that was even possible.  
Payton could almost imagine they could taste it, it was so thick in the air. God, they really didn’t feel well... 
“Say cheese!” 
“Cheese!!” 
Payton sighed softly in relief when Annie sat back down, satisfied with just the one picture. Payton didn’t hate a lot of things, but they really didn’t like spontaneous photos taken on other peoples’ phones. Jake wasn’t a big social media guy, so maybe that one would never see the light of day anyway. 
They took another mouthful of their Coke, hoping to wash away some of the bad taste in their mouth, but it only seemed to make it... worse? They brought the rim of the glass to their nose and sniffed, and then recoiled so fast that they almost fell out of the booth. The glass skidded a few centimetres across the table but, miraculously, didn’t tip over. 
Dani jumped in her seat and made the closest thing to eye contact that she’d made with Payton since they’d left work. “What? What? Is it a spider?” 
The whole room felt like it was tipping on its side. Payton wasn't just imagining they could taste the alcohol because of the strong smell; they were actually tasting it in their mouth. There was alcohol in their drink, and they had gulped down more than half of it... As they sat there, struggling to wrap their head around how this could have happened, it was inside of them, sloshing in their stomach, swirling into their capillaries, messing with their brain – 
Sweat beaded on the back of Payton’s neck. 
This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening – 
“Payton,” Dani said loudly. “What. Is. Wrong?” 
“N-no...” they whimpered, not caring that no didn’t make sense on its own. The only thing they could feel was the feeling of no, and with it came the heady weight of memories that weren’t supposed to be a part of them anymore.  
They felt all alone again, like they were being slowly sucked into a pit of darkness. 
“Th-they messed up my – m-my drink.” Sharp gasps littered Payton’s speech, and they couldn’t get a good sense of how loudly they were talking. They... couldn’t even feel angry. Not yet. Maybe they never would; messing up drinks was an inevitability for any establishment. Payton had once served full-fat milk to a lady who’d requested skimmed, and by the time they had realised their mistake, she’d already left with her latte. They still had nightmares about her coming back, months later, to complain. 
But this was different, right? This was… 
Dani wrinkled up her nose and leaned towards Payton’s glass to sniff it. 
“I think there – there’s vod... vodka in it... N-no,” Payton said again, the word bursting on their lips like a giant blister. This was how it always used to start. With a ‘no’. No, no, not this, this can’t be real, this isn’t real. 
When had it gotten so hot in here? 
Dani put her whole hand around Payton’s glass, eyeing the bar. “You want me to go yell at someone?” 
“No, no, no, don’t,” Rachel hissed, leaning conspiratorially towards the centre of the table. It seemed that she only wanted Payton, Dani, and Paul to be able to hear her. Her urgency made Payton stiffen. “Will you relax, for Christ’s sake, Dani? Payton, I took a few mouthfuls of your drink and topped it up with Paul’s vodka. I didn’t know you were such a lightweight!” 
Payton’s head swam as they looked at Rachel’s face, searching in her green eyes for any indication that she joking. Her face was bronzed and freckled from all the field hockey she played, and they seemed to shift about nauseatingly in front of Payton’s eyes. She... she had to have been joking, right? Nobody would admit to something like that. Besides, they’d been with their drink since they’d bought it; when would she have had the time to –? 
Coasters.  
Payton had put their drink on the table and then gone back to the bar for the coasters. She must have done it then. Their body stiffened as they remembered the clear liquid spill on the table. 
“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you drunk, boss,” Paul half-laughed. The fact that Paul was seemingly in on this too, or was in support of it, at least, only piled onto Payton’s horror, but they’d have to process that later. 
“Th-that’s because I...” Payton’s voice was trembling. “I-I’m... I’m sober.” 
The grin started to slip from Paul’s face, but Rachel didn’t seem to grasp what Payton meant. 
She shrugged. “But it’s not like you’re driving home. And you’re off tomorrow, aren’t you? So, what harm?” 
“No, I mean I haven’t… I haven’t h-had any alcohol in…” Payton’s lucidity spiked briefly, long enough for them to experience the stab of grief that hit their gut. “About two and... a half years.” 
“Oh, on purpose?” Paul asked weakly. 
“Yeah.” 
Paul half-chuckled, his energy levels dropping noticeably. Next to him, Dani looked like she was witnessing a train crash in slow motion but couldn’t bring herself to move. Payton couldn’t bear to look at Rachel. 
“But it’s not, like… that serious or anything, is it?” Paul pressed. 
“Is it Alcoholics Anonymous serious?” Dani questioned, as though that were the qualifying factor. “Like in the movies, with the chairs, and the free coffee, and the…?”  
She trailed off, gleaning her answer from Payton’s expression.  
“It was Rachel’s idea!” Paul complained. “She did it!” 
“What’s going on?” Annie demanded suddenly, only tuning into the conversation now that Paul had started raising his voice. 
Rachel half-stood up in the booth and pointed at Paul. “You agreed with me, dickhead!” 
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know...” 
“Neither did I!” 
Their voices faded into an echoing clamour. Payton felt so detached from their body that they wondered if they were having an attack of some kind. They’d had barely a few mouthfuls of vodka and Coke. Why did it feel like their stomach was on fire, forcing its way up their throat? Why did their whole body feel like jelly? Back in the day, it had taken so... so much more.  
Had they gone so long without alcohol that they’d developed an allergy? Were they dying? After all of their work, were their last thoughts going to be swamped in dread and despair and drunkenness? 
They didn’t know if it was wooziness or generalised terror that made their knees buckle as they tried to get out of the booth, but either way, Payton crashed to the floor, just about keeping a shaky grip on the edge of the table above. They weren’t sure where they were trying to go. They couldn’t even remember deciding to get up. 
A hollow, desperate sob racked their ribs. Their stomach was lurching like an injured, frantic rabbit in a trap.  
No... 
Lucidity came in flashes again. Were they really hyperventilating on the floor, in front of their co-workers and their employer? Were they really making a scene at Jake’s birthday party? Were... were those Dani’s stockinged feet, resting on the floor next to her chunky Doc Marten boots? 
Payton shook their head. They had to get away from here. That seemed fairly rational, no matter which they looked at it. 
They started clambering upright. The sight of Dani reaching out to give them a hand up made them snap out of their panicked daze just slightly. They straightened their back and mumbled something to reassure her they were fine, they were good, they didn’t need any help –  
They heard Rachel ask them something, and they ignored her. They ignored her on purpose – it felt terrible, but they couldn’t bring themself to react any other way – and raced for the bathrooms with tears streaming down their face. 
___ 
Dani was only vaguely ashamed of her first thought after watching Payton bolting towards the back of the pub. 
If someone at a small party has a breakdown, is that it? Can the party officially be declared ruined? Is it fair game for me to just... slip out? There were enough hours left in the night that she could probably squeeze in a few hours of Overwatch before going to sleep. 
She flinched. Voices were being raised at the table again, which only made her want to leave even faster. No one was yelling at her, but her cells reacted as though they were. Her nerves felt like they were being twisted, twisted, twisted, until – 
“You agreed with me!” Rachel hissed at Paul, much to Annie’s apparent dismay. “You said it’d be good for her!”  
... Snap. 
“It’s ‘they’!” A wave of dizziness hit Dani right in the face. Rachel and Paul and Annie and Jake all stared at her, and Dani’s stomach wobbled. Oh, stars. How loudly had she spoken? 
Rachel groaned. “What?” 
“They.” Dani felt out of breath as she reached for a bead on her bracelet and squeezed it between her fingertips. “Payton’s pronouns are they/them.” 
“Payton’s... not even here, Dani,” Paul said softly. 
“It doesn’t matter! You can’t call them anything else.” 
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Annie interrupted, though she didn’t sound sorry in the least. It was the kind of ‘sorry’ that really meant I have the right to speak and I shall continue to do so, even if I don’t have any idea what I’m speaking about.  
Dani hated people who said ‘sorry’ like that, even more than she hated whisperers. 
“But ’can’t’?” Annie went on, cocking an eyebrow at Dani. “It’s not very tolerant to go around telling people what they can and can’t say, Danielle.” 
Danielle?! White noise clogged Dani’s ears again. 
“I swear,” Annie said, shaking her head. “It’s always a morality contest with your generation. It is just –” 
“Dani,” Dani grunted. “My name is Dani!” 
“Do not speak over me.” 
“You spoke over me first!” Dani’s voice turned into a squawk towards the end. Shit, shit, shit. “And I was talking to Rachel before, not to you. Do you even know what she di–?” 
“You’re going to have to lower your voice.” Rachel laughed without mirth as she glanced around the pub. It was as if she herself hadn’t just been practically shouting at Paul across the table. “People are starting to look at us now.” 
Dani’s head burned. She slammed a hand on the table. “I don’t care.” 
Paul put out a hand, as though he was going to put it on her shoulder to calm her down. She flinched, jerking away from him in her seat, and he seemed to think better of it.  
“Dani,” Jake said, tilting his head to see her from the other side of Paul. Jake was one of the more reasonable people left at the table, and his round face and thick beard gave him a soothing, teddy bear-like appearance, but Dani still didn’t trust that he wasn’t just talking down to her. Like she was a child having a tantrum. “Let’s talk this out, okay? What did Rachel do?” 
“She… she…” Dani stopped pinching her beads and pointed across the table – not at Rachel, but at Annie. What Rachel did was significant, yes, but several things were screeching at Dani from inside her head, and Rachel’s thing wasn’t screeching the loudest right now.  
“She said our generation is having a morality contest,” Dani said. “You’re upset about it, Annie, so that must mean... mean that you think you’re losing, and if that’s what you think –” She was getting out of breath. Too many words, too few seconds. “Then – then you must see that I’m being more moral than you, so you know there’s something wrong with what you're saying.” 
Annie didn’t say anything in response. 
Victory flashed briefly and hotly through Dani’s veins.  
So... why did she feel like she was seconds away from crying? She wasn’t a child; she wasn’t about to be reprimanded by a parent or a teacher for speaking her mind. She was an adult. She could make her own choices, and –  
Oh, right. She’d just pointed at and then yelled at her boss. She’d probably just thrown away the only day job she’d ever found bearable, as well as the only co-worker she’d ever genuinely liked. 
Ah, crabs. Payton. How had it taken her so long so get around to worrying about Payton? 
“Oh,” Dani announced, sliding out of the booth. She realised too late that she had taken her boots off, but it didn’t seem dignified to sit down again to put them back on. She looked Rachel square in the eye – for about half a second. Then, she lowered her gaze towards Payton’s glass. “Rachel put alcohol in Payton’s drink without them knowing.” 
“You sat there,” Rachel choked out softly, “and said nothing, Dani!” There were tears in her eyes now, her face pale with terror.  
Throat tight, hands trembling, and shoeless, Dani got up and went looking for Payton. 
___ 
Payton had thought they’d need to force a finger or two down their throat to start emptying their stomach of the unexpected poison, but it turned out that their tolerance was low enough – or their panic high enough – for their body to begin rejecting it all by itself.  
The force of the first heave had their ribs pitching inwards, their belly muscles folding in on themselves. A strangled cry came rolling out of their throat along with a mouthful of frothy vomit, and it took everything in their power not to let the crying continue. 
No... 
They... they had cried so much back then. They had cursed and screamed and roared like they were trying to invoke some god to come and release them from the pain that they didn’t have the words to describe. No words except no. They had always told themself that they didn’t know why they cried and shouted so much when they were intoxicated, but deep down, they realised that had always been a lie. 
It was because they didn’t think it mattered. Whether they were stone-cold sober and coherent, or black-out drunk with vomit and snot dripping down their face, nobody listened to them or took them seriously. At least when they were drunk, they could make noise and act like an ass and convince themself that it was okay, that it was only to be expected, that they were free of the consequences. 
All of it a lie. 
No. 
The tingling in their limbs felt like phantom tentacles reaching up from a dark pit, pulling and sucking them under – 
Payton’s belly curdled and they spewed harshly into the toilet. They let out a dry sob that nearly ripped their lungs loose. All those years, all that work, all those miles between their past haunts and their current life... and they were back here. A different pub in a different city, but still the same old them. Hours of therapy; long, honest conversations with Autumn about their past; all those times Autumn had taken their face in her hands, tears in her eyes, and told them she was proud of them.  
All of it was washed away in less than fifteen minutes. 
Because it was pointless, wasn’t it? The thing they had once drank to escape – the helpless knowledge that nobody was listening to them – was still very much real. It lived inside them, keeping them small, keeping them polite, keeping them trapped as the pathetic, useless teenager who was never good enough... 
No...  
Annie’s constant criticism of the little things Payton did differently at the shop; the way Dani bent the uniform rules, only during Payton’s shifts; Donnacha... Donnacha’s outright refusal to listen to Payton’s side of the story when it came to their relationship with Autumn – 
“No,” Payton whimpered, gripping the sides of the toilet with both hands. The thought of Autumn finding out about this made their soul feel like it was withering. Something slipped up their throat – a belch, a sob, a hiccup?  
Even though their stomach had been completely vacated, the lingering smell and taste of the vodka kept their insides twisting and writhing. They wanted to hug their aching belly, but they had no hands left to do it. They were shaking, wilting against the toilet bowl like a dying flower; they’d surely headbutt the porcelain if they let go.  
Frantic heartbeats assaulted their eardrums. They could barely see, barely breathe, barely... barely believe this was happening.  
No. 
___ 
Dani was glaring at two stick figures – one with their legs spread, the other with their feet together under a knee-length dress – and having a crisis.  
Why were gendered bathrooms even a thing? Cubicle stalls existed for privacy. Lesbians and gay men existed, who used the bathrooms of the biological sex they were attracted to. Besides that, people who were inclined to trespass would and could do so, regardless of whatever little plaque was stuck outside of it. She found it hard to believe that anybody woke up one morning, decided to go out to a public bathroom and be a perv, and then end up being discouraged when they found a little plaque on the door that did or didn’t depict a human in a skirt. 
Why had it taken her so long to question this? And why was she questioning it now, of all times!? 
Right. Because back at the cafe, there were gender-neutral toilets and gender-neutral changing rooms for the employees. If that hadn’t been the case, maybe Dani would have had some idea of which way Payton would choose to go if they were forced to.  
She flashed back to the moment she’d walked into the changing room earlier, and seen Payton’s binder for the first time. Right, right... Did that mean they saw themself as more masculine than feminine? 
She pushed open the door to the men’s bathroom, leaning as far into the room as she could while keeping her feet outside and clutching the side of the door. A middle-aged dude was finishing up at a urinal, and he jumped when he saw her. 
“Wrong place, love,” he half-smiled. 
“Oh, gee, thanks, love,” Dani said, employing her Hollywood starlet voice in order to stop herself from retorting with something unsavoury. And then she yelled out, making the man jump on his way to the sinks; “Payton?!” 
After waiting for a few seconds, Dani huffed, noting that none of the cubicles were locked anyway, and no feet were visible under any of them. 
She retracted her torso from the bathroom and ducked into the one next door. 
“Payton?” she called out again. 
Two women were by the sink, one of them washing their hands, the other touching up their lipstick with a bit of a sheepish expression.  
“Maybe in there?” the one with wet hands said softly, nodding towards the only cubicle that had been locked. Sure enough, Dani noted the presence of feet near the bottom gap in the door. “Is she okay?” 
“They.” The correction sprang out of Dani’s throat, already locked and loaded this time. “And... I dunno. Maybe. Payton? You okay?” 
Dani’s heart felt like it’d just been dragged down into her stomach when the reply came. 
“No! No, no, no.” 
___ 
Payton’s lungs fluttered with the effort of breathing. A mixture of a smile and a grimace sliced their face as they heard Dani talking to the other bathroom occupants. The novelty of Dani gendering them correctly had worn off so quickly that Payton struggled to remember what that rush of serotonin and acceptance had even felt like.  
Their teeth were chattering, their fingers still tingled with the knowledge that their internal chemistry had been altered, and their stomach lining was still painfully irritated – 
They were powerless against the no blisters that burst on their lips, over and over again. 
“Payton, open the door!” Dani screamed, and even though they were the one yelling no continuously, Payton thought screaming was a little over-the-top. 
They weren’t dying. They knew that now. They just felt like they were dying. 
“NO!” Payton sobbed lucidly amidst the rolling cries of despair. No, I won’t open the door. What on earth might they would unleash on her if they let her in? They had a reputation as the cool, easy-going supervisor; how could they ever face her at work if they were revealed as the fraud they were? 
“I’m so sorry,” Dani’s voice said from the other side of the door. “I wasn’t in on it, but I also wasn’t – I wasn’t paying attention to what they were doing. And I should’ve been.” 
Payton squeezed their eyes shut. As badly as they wanted to stay quiet, hoping she would go away, they couldn’t leave her hanging. That was what they did. They soothed people. 
“It’s... okay,” they croaked, their voice reverberating in the porcelain bowl. They recoiled. Ew. Was that how they sounded right now? 
“No?” Dani retorted. “It’s not. It’s awful.” 
Payton coughed, feeling the last of their fighting energy drain out of them. She was right. This was awful. It would be very nice if this could, somehow, not be happening. 
Panic flooded their lungs again like liquid, and this time they were struck through with fear, because they didn’t feel they had it in them to continue panicking, and they definitely didn’t want to wind up unconscious next to a toilet – 
“Come on, get out of there,” Dani was begging. Her voice sounded strange. Maybe Payton was imagining things again, like they’d imagined her without her boots on earlier.  
The door of the next cubicle down creaked. A toilet lid slapped down. There was a muffled thump... 
Goosebumps pricked the back of Payton’s neck. They tilted their head back, all the way, so that they were facing towards the ceiling. 
The sight of a head hovering above the cubicle divider was unexpected and unsettling enough to make Payton’s breath catch, and once it did, it was like a cycle had been broken. They blinked, once, twice, three times, and suddenly became hyper-aware of their surroundings. 
“I... Hi?” they croaked pathetically. 
“Hi, boss,” Dani muttered. Payton wondered if that was her version of being playful.  
Payton scrambled to flush the toilet, their face burning at the thought of Dani getting an ariel view of their neon yellow vomit.  
“Get... get d-down,” Payton stammered. “Y-you’re gonna fall–” 
“Open the door and I’ll get down.” 
They reached up for the latch and then sank back down, still catching their breath. The tears on their face were starting to solidify. They couldn’t bear to look Dani in the eye when she circled the cubicles to stand in front of theirs, so they kept their gaze low. 
A dry laugh popped out of them, like it’d been lodged in their throat and then squeezed.  
Dani’s socks were black and covered in tiny green alien heads. She was standing on the tiles in her socks. 
“You... actually took your shoes off.” 
“Yeah, so?” Dani growled.  
“Nothing, I just – I thought I was hallucinating earlier.” 
“I find it more comfortable.” 
Payton nodded, sniffling as they felt their nose run. They felt as though they were already in the throes of a mini hangover – the hollow pangs of nausea in their stomach, the ringing in their head, the burning agony in their throat.  
But worst of all was the shame. The storybook of images of themself – ariel view, as though they’d been up on that toilet alongside Dani, watching their own pathetic display from above – flipped its pages over in their mind.  
“So, did – did you have, like, a board somewhere at home that said ‘something-hundred and something days since last drink’, or...?” 
Payton almost choked at the image. Why had they never thought of that? They’d only ever kept track of their sobriety on the calendar in their head, but even that would have to be reset to zero now. “No.” 
“Mmm. Sorry.” Dani shuffled her stockinged feet. “I never know what to say in... Well, any situation. Ever.” 
“You’re fine,” Payton sighed. A part of them noted how exhausting it was, to still be the one to comfort everybody else when something bad had just happened to them. They tried to squash that part. Dani was here, trying to help them. 
Besides, they felt most like themself when they were making others feel at ease. Maybe they didn’t need to be so ashamed of that. 
“Do you... need something?” Dani asked the question stiffly and awkwardly; was this how she took down orders from customers at the coffee shop? 
Payton wanted the exact same thing they’d wanted about an hour ago. 
“I want to go home,” they whispered. 
“Samesies.” Dani’s feet rearranged themselves again. “Do you need me to help you up?” 
The reluctance in her voice made Payton want to say no. But they were dizzy and weak, and tired of saying no. The thought of just a little bit of help brought tears of relief to their eyes.  
Payton looked up from the floor. Dani’s appearance hadn’t changed at all from the moment she’d turned up for her shift that afternoon, but Payton got the feeling that they were looking at a whole different version of her.  
“I... I mean, would that be okay, Dani?” 
“Yes. Of... course.” Dani had clenched her fists by her side, and was looking at Payton as though they were a cliff that she was supposed to step off the side of. “Just don’t grab onto my waist, shoulders, back, or sides.” 
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