#like i skipped out on our last event bc. alongside all those reasons. my friend had just committed suicide + i was really behind on

[saltine-kakyoin]

although i cannot wait for 2020 to end, oh my god the end of 2020 is going to be such a personal nightmare 🥺😔

#thinking about how The Family has become less and less understanding of me skipping big events bc there's no social distancing + #many of them do not practice solid procedure 👉👈 thinking about how all they do during big events is talk about how much they love trump + #how everyone else is too stupid to understand govt or the economy.. thinking about my cousin who travels all over the place and thinks mask #are a tool to silence us 💃 it's just dangerous and mentally exhausting yk?? #like i skipped out on our last event bc. alongside all those reasons. my friend had just committed suicide + i was really behind on #school because i was mourning. my grandpa was going to call me + yell at me for skipping until the beans spilled. but by november that stuf #will be old news to them even though it is something i am dealing with to this day. the depression is something they'll have expected to be #gone by then so I can't cite that as a reason for not going to something like thanksgiving or christmas but like ; ; #my battery is permanently spent!! as the year goes on i see less and less of a reason to keep trucking on! it's enough for me to get throug #a day in which i do nothing but hw. the idea of faking it through a party with all of them is too much right now #of course it's only the beginning of october and things can certainly improve by november but 🙁 idk lads... #venting here bc my sister follows my main and i'd rather she not see this ^^; #sriracha.txt #suicide mention #long post