#like i said this is in the VERY baby stages rn and i really shouldn't be letting new candy distract me from the *canon* fic(s) lmao

[chaoticspacefam]

ANOTHER AU Idea, As If I Don’t Have Enough Already

So, in addition to the snippet I posted earlier today for the WIP meme, my brain threw this idea at me at 1am last night when I was trying to sleep lmao

As I said I only lit on this idea last night so it’s a very baby AU idea, and only has a very vague plot (it’s also been a while since I’ve looked at anything to do with His Dark Materials so it’s only gonna be like...very loosely a crossover and definitely not follow the “classic” rules so to speak, because I don’t think that’d work with the plot idea my brain has given me.)

I present to you: Daemon AU, but what if, still in the SWTOR-universe and therefore daemons can be SWTOR-based creatures, too ;)

So, sort of kind of the same plot basis, at least in so far as: most inhabitants of the galaxy have daemons/familiars. If your daemon dies, you die, but unlike in HDM, daemons can walk or travel separately from their people it’s just....very ill-advised, if you’re a long long way away from your daemon and someone follows and kills it, for instance...buh bye your life :’) however, in this manner, a daemon might also survive their person’s body being killed and by virtue of being attached to that person, could flee and find them a “new body” so to speak, as a part of that person would still exist attached to their daemon even if they have no body to inhabit (Valkorion, of course, has mastered this, same as the body-hopping in canon ;3).

Ergo, what if the JK kills Vitiate but his daemon gets away and runs to Zakuul etc. and our merry band of heroes have to band together to chase it down through the galaxy and kill it before it finds Valkorion/Vitiate a new body, picking up some familiar faces along the way :’)

I have a couple other daemons picked out, too, for most of the mains, I need to think of some for the others, and still need to pick one for Vitiate/Valkorion if I end up taking this idea any further, we’ll see. :3

and a teeny tiny snippet which is as much as I’ve been able to work on atm. I have no idea where in the story this will fall or what it’ll connect to, I really need to plan this more, but I wanted some content to put out this evening cause I haven’t been posting much (”original” content) this weekend due to being busy, so *throws the bone* here ya go XD 

The pup was gangly, it struggled to keep up with the Darth’s larger tuk’ata daemon, tottering on legs far too disproportionate to its own body; it tripped on its own paws and yelped as it fell, causing the young Sith to whom it was tethered to grimace, touching her fingertips to her chin out of reflex. “Oof.” “Still so clumsy. At least she’s finally settled, though.” Noctis chuckled in amusement as Chwûq, his own daemon, rumbled in mild amusement and swung about to grab Aria’s by the scruff, setting her back on her own paws again. The younger tuk’ata chittered up at her in delight, wagging her tail, until Chwûq snorted at her once again and sent her skittering back to her mistress’ side. “Be careful.” the Darth continued, looking down at both of them severely. “Do not let her wander far. A stray daemon without its person is an easy target...and the quickest way for other Sith to kill you.” 

#swtor #swtor daemon au #swtor oc: aria saal #swtor oc: roan saal #it's gonna be tricky trying to work with only *one* of the saal's tuk'ata #because canonically he has two and they go to aria when he dies #bc aria reminds them of roan and vice versa #like i said this is in the VERY baby stages rn and i really shouldn't be letting new candy distract me from the *canon* fic(s) lmao #i am a bad writer /jk #or am i? i mean...we all do this right LOL #[working on current wip] [new idea lightbulb] OH LOOK. SOMETHING SHINY #i thought about making taral aria's daemon but idk it'd be kinda weird since he & chwûq are canonically the same age & also a mated pair #so i might end up pulling one of their pups' names from the zephyrverse au rp and using that as ari's daemon's name #if i continue on with this idea at some point :P #yes aria's daemon decided to copy dad's #because if dad gets a big scary daemon aria wants one too #maybe then people will stop calling her ''shorty'' and take her seriously /lh

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful