#like i legit love my school; classmates; and teachers

[justatalkingface]

Let's talk about the Bakugou Problem

Yes, everyone, it's finally time, what is probably my most requested rant: The Bakugou Problem. Or rather, the Bakugou problems, because there's two:

The first is the fact that he's an unrepentant asshole who is only now, at the end of the manga, truly starting to realize basic shit like 'apologizing'. The second is that, for all intents and purposes, the Bakugou the characters seem to interact with is a different person than what we're being shown.

There's been plenty of deep dives on his issues, so I doubt I'll propose anything new, but this should fun anyways, right? Let's start here:

I think, at the core, Bakugou's problem is he just never grew up.

Way, way back early on, we see some flashbacks to Earlygou, and in summary? Earlygou is an ass. Fun fact: for all that it's commonly held that Bakugou grew worse over time after getting his Quirk? He called Izuku Deku before that. He was just a bit ahead of the class, looked at Izuku's name, and saw 'Deku'. Boom, he starts saying it, and it's only further entrenched in his mind as he outperforms his peers physically, while Izuku lags behind.

Then he gets his Quirk. Let's quote what he's told: 'Ooh, another impressive Quirk! You could be a hero with a Quirk like that, Katsuki!'

I know we all think he got coddled for his Quirk, and later on he was, but that? That was just a teacher giving him the verbal equivalent of a gold star. Meanwhile, Bakugou?

'Makes sense. I'm awesome. I'm better than everyone else!', he thinks, while having this look on this face like he's being enlightened to a Fundamental Truth. He took some generic praise and ran off with it.

So yeah, Earlygou was an ass. Here's the thing: a lot of kids are assholes. It can be hard to remember sometimes, but kids, really young kids who don't get how the world works at all, do and think a lot of impulsive, assholish shit, not because they think the world revolves around them, but because they can't comprehend a world that isn't all about them.

Here's another thing: kids grow out of that. They realize, eventually, that other people matter, that their actions have consequences, and all that other stuff that makes people into functioning adults.

I don't blame Earlygou for being an assholish child. I blame Bakugou for never growing beyond that. And it's interesting to think about that, because his parents seem legit. His dad is quiet, sure, but he's solid and down to earth, and while Bakugou clearly takes after his mother, she also seems to have gotten the 'morals' message he didn't, and has concerns that he didn't do the same. They're not poor, and are working in fashion, and implied to be doing well enough that, if they're not rich, they're at the very least well off.

So... school, I guess? Here's one of the times where the setting suffers for its lack of lower level development, because I would love to see what non-Aldera schools were like. Everyone else in 1A seems like they wouldn't have a major problem with Izuku being Quirkless, or at least be mild enough in their prejudices to not spend their free time torturing him. Is Aldera different? Is it an age thing? Are they just the good eggs and would have had assholish classmates who would act like Aldera did? Would other teachers be OK with how Izuku was treated (my limited understanding of the depressing Japanese view on bullying says, 'yes', but fuck if I know, and honestly, two hundred years in the future, shouldn't they be better than modern Japan)? More than that, the public view on Quirklessness is, for understandable reasons (cough cough Bakugou), highly underdeveloped, so we don't know how much Izuku was treated was the normal, but I think part of the reason Bakugou got so bad is that he had Izuku near him, as this convenient target. By pushing down on the 'acceptable' target, all his peers approved him, cheered him on, which both fed his ego and his popularity, and combined with his high-status Quirk, this cycle continued swelling his head until we reached canon Bakugou, king of all he surveys. The kids follow him, the teachers suck up to him, his potential, his future, all are limitless!!!!

...Sigh. Before I keep going, let me touch on one other thing: Izuku trying to save Bakugou after he fell when they were children.

On the first take, it seems utterly unreasonable, how badly he responded to that, right? And the second, and third, it still seems the same.

Someone, somewhere, said this take in a comment in a fic I read and I've never been able to forget it: think about it from the view of a heroic saturated society.

Think about it from the lenses of MHA, where All Might is a few steps short of a god in the eyes of the public. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him, especially the kids, and especially Bakugou and Izuku.

Look at that scene again, how Izuku reaches down for him. Overlay him with All Might.

That is what Bakugou saw: Izuku making himself unto All Might. While Izuku just wanted to save him, of course, somewhere deep in his unconcious Bakugou took that symbolism and ran with it, and reached a completely (ir)rational conclusion: Izuku was looking down on him. It went, I imagine, a little something like this:

All Might is the strongest. All Might looks like that when saves other people, who are weaker than him. Izuku is channeling All Might, therefore he is saying that he is stronger than me.

Bakugou, in his child mind, saw Izuku, not as helping him, but T-posing at him. To him, that was Izuku trying to assert dominance.

And he never got over that. Never grew beyond that impression. Do you want to know the worst part about it, though, when you look at it that way?

Think about Bakugou again, and his motivations, with your Bakugou Logic goggles on: All Might is strong. Bakugou wants to be strong like All Might. All Might asserts his power over others by saving them. Therefore?

Bakugou wants to save people like All Might.

Can you imagine if Bakugou was built of that dynamic? Like, with Shirou in Fate, if that scene was etched in his mind forever, and he was obsessed with remaking it over and over, but on his terms, with him as the savior? Him as the one looking down on the weak?

Still canon-style Bakugou, still an asshole, still lusting for power... but when asked what he wanted to do with it, or why, he would answer: so I can save everyone.

And even if it was for the crudest, most self serving of reasons, even if it was only so he could feel good about himself and lord it over everyone else that he was the one who saved them; it would have been so much better than canon. There's so much fascinating complexity to explore in a character like that, as well as a clear path to redeem him: under that logic, Bakugou would, over time, learn to save people, not for his own satisfaction, but just because it's the right thing to do. Hell, even the way people treat him would make more sense, because even if he was an asshole, if his motivation, which he cheerfully shouts about at any given moment, was to save people, then suddenly his acceptance feels more realistic, doesn't it? Him being compared to Izuku as a rival makes more sense when both of them are in it to save everyone, that core of heroism, but each represent a different part of how modern heroism is expressed, with Bakugou as the corrupt, media saturated part of it, while Izuku channels the original, pure spirit of heroics.

Can you imagine that with me? What could have been in another life? It could have been beautiful.

But, sadly, that's nothing more than a dream, and we should return back to reality (though I might want to expand on that at some point, it really does sound interesting to me).

Change and Improvement. These are words that some hold in the air whenever Bakugou is judged harshly, and they wave them like talismans to try and banish others objections.

Let me tell you a truth: change and improvement are hollow words without context. They are a statement that something has happened, not a measure of how much it has happening. In many ways, this is similar to a unit of measurement, like inches, and a number of inches. If you're talking about something, and you say, 'it can be measured in inches'.... that is generally unhelpful. Saying that it is, say, eight inches long is far more useful information.

Still, these aren't exactly moral statements, and change in particular is distinctly amoral. If something has 'improved a little bit' it, you know that it's better, and generally how much. But is it good now? Was it good then?

Let me put it another way: say that, once a day, every day, I appear to you out of the shadows and force you to eat a cup of shit. Exactly a cup, every day, at 2:30 PM, without fail; nothing you do to protect yourself from me makes any difference, nowhere you go is safe. You can't run. You can't hide. I am inevitable. The shit is inevitable. You will eat that shit, no matter what you think about it.

Then, one day, I come with only a half cup, and from then on you are only forced to eat a half cup of shit a day instead of a full one.

Isn't that both a change and an improvement? It's literally half as bad; doesn't that sound like a lot better? Yet, while that may be true, is the situation actually better in a meaningful way, or it as firmly negative as it was before? Should you be mewling gratefully to me that I'm being less horrible to you, or can you still hold a grudge against me for everything I've done to you and continue to do?

What if I apologized, one day, after forcing yet another half cup down your throat? What if I told you that I shouldn't have done it, but the way you looked, the way you acted, that vapid, cow-like look of joy on your face... it was just so shitty that I had to, that you made me do it? Then I say this changes nothing, and that we're still on for tomorrow for your daily dose at the normal time.

Tell me something: do you feel better? Has my generous apology moved your heart? Are we friends now?

This is Izuku's situation in a nutshell. Bakugou's treatment has changed, has improved even. It's reached a point where there are actual differences in Izuku's daily life. That doesn't mean it's still not shit treatment, and it doesn't matter if it's served in a cup or a tablespoon, shit is still shit. And the thing is Bakugou treated him like shit, and he still treats him like shit.

Context matters. So let's talk about the context. Let's talk about what Bakugou did.

Well, first off, there's the Deku thing, but I feel a lot people don't get how bad that is, so let's spell it out in detail. Once upon a time, as I've said, Bakugou was a little better at reading than everyone else. He looked at Izuku's name and saw 'Deku' in this, and thought it was hilarious, and so he started talking about it.

Bakugou looked at his name, and saw Useless in it. He didn't just call Izuku that, he said, this is in your name, it always has been there, to the point that, all these years later, he physically struggles to use Izuku's actual name.

For Izuku's entire childhood, the one person truly on his side, who truly loved him, was his mother.... who gave him that name.

In other words, every time Bakugou called him that name, with that history behind it? Bakugou was telling him that, when Izuku was born, Inko looked at the child she held in her arms, turned to the nurse, and said, "I'll call him... Useless."

He called him this, every day, every time they talked, for over a decade. Saying that the real meaning of the name his mother gave him was useless.

But it's not just that, even. He led the school, his neighbors, effectively everyone Izuku knew in anywhere near his age group, to call him that. There were probably people in Aldera who didn't know Izuku by any other name. There were probably times Izuku thought of himself by that name, that his name was Useless. It's not that big a reach from responding to it as his name, after all, and by the time the story start's he was well trained in responding to it.

Then, there's the more 'basic' bullying; insults, taking his stuff, breaking his stuff, using his Quirk on him. Again, for years and years, until Izuku is beaten down into terrified compliance, where Bakugou blowing up his stuff, his desk, and him* in front of a teacher isn't something anyone even really notices anymore. And why does he do it? Because it's fun. Because he feels strong breaking things, hurting people, being the big man on campus. Because he wants attention, respect, glory.

Because he can. Because it's fun.

(*And isn't that weird, when you think about it? Bakugou has been hands free with his Quirk on Izuku since they were, what, four? Why doesn't Izuku have burns?

Bakugou uses explosions. His hands can burn hot enough (probably as part of the lighting process) to burn clothes, and that's when he's clearly holding back with it. There's no way he's been careful enough, kind enough to not hit skin with that his entire life. So why doesn't Izuku have burns from all that?

Answer? There is no good reason. You can mention how MHA humans are, well, inhumanly strong, but we see heat resistant Shoto being burned with boiling water; it's not like they're immune to it. More than that, though, Izuku is explicitly Quirkless. He is a mortal in a world of magic. He wouldn't have that same kind of resiliency.

So Izuku isn't burned because, A, Hori didn't want his main character to be scarred over, both for aesthetic reasons, and probably for ease of drawing, and B, because that would make Bakugou look worse. Because even then, back when Bakugou had consequences, that would be too much consequences for him, that he permanently scarred Izuku, since the Heroes Rising was the original ending, and Bakugou was always supposed to be redeemed. Hori probably figured, if he thought about it, that that was too far for the readers to forgive him for, and finally, C, he just didn't think about the consequences of Bakugou's actions.

But let's be honest: Izuku would be burned. The fact he isn't is just the prettying up of the situation.)

This is where Bakugou starts from: abusing Izuku to the point where he doesn't dare protest out of years of deeply ingrained terror, doing his best to systematically destroy Izuku's life, while being careful to avoid going too far and damage his chances for UA, which judging by his comment on smoking, may be the only real internal check he has on his behavior.

Because that's the thing; he's cruel, but calculatingly so. He's not a wild animal. It motivates him, but he can think about his actions, think about the possible consequences of them, how they'll react... and as long as they won't harm him, he's all for it.

Then we go to UA, and when he realizes that 'Deku' has a Quirk? Much less such a strong one? He attacks. Viciously, instinctively he goes into attack. He's stopped, but no consequences are given (more on that later), so he doesn't stop. Why would he? All he's learned is this teacher won't let him attack Izuku without a motive.

And then he gets one. Bakugou walks into the Battle Trial planning what he'll do to Izuku. His first words in there are don't dodge... which is especially bad considering what he'll say in a little bit.

His plan? To beat the living shit out of Izuku, to vent all his frustration on him, but stopping just short of it being bad enough for the Trial to be stopped. And as Izuku defies him (by dint of not letting himself be beaten up), he gets angrier and angrier at him for the gall of it, for the audacity to not lay down and let Bakugou beat him up until he feels better, until it reaches the point where Bakugou brings out those gauntlets of him.

'Dammit, Deku, don't dodge me!' 'He won't die if he dodges!'

Yeah. He says both of these things in the space of the same fight. When Bakugou fires that damn gauntlet of his, he's finally reached the point where, for the first time we've seen, he's no longer thinking of the consequences even a little. He wants to kill Izuku, if only to prove that his Quirk, that he, is better (note this too; we'll talk more later about this) than Izuku and his Quirk.

Well, for obvious reasons, that doesn't work out for him, since Izuku's Quirk is the strongest in existence, and small fraction of it, badly used, is still enough to clap Bakugou's attack, enhanced by support equipment (who the hell approved that, by the way? It literally destroys buildings. It seemingly exists for no other reason than to cause massive collateral damage). Then he's forced into an existential crisis when Deku 'wins'. His arm is broken, he's beat up, but by the rules of the game he won anyways and because of that, Bakugou's world collapses.

This, more than anything, I think is Bakugou's true catalyst for change: not being saved by 'Deku', but losing to him. Granted, being saved is enough to force him to avoid him, but it probably helped that Izuku only bought him moments of air. He may have saved him, but All Might did the work, All Might the strongest, the greatest, his idol.

This though? This was Izuku surpassing him, and all on his own.

And I want to pause to consider something here: something that was stressed since the beginning of the story, and still is, besides the terrible mixed messaging at times, is that being heroic is more important to being a hero than sheer ability. Izuku was heroic with his complete lack of ability at the start, after all, while All For One is one of the strongest beings in the setting, and is the farthest thing from heroic. And when you look at Bakugou, as we're introduced to him? There's not a speck of that in him. There's no kindness, no mercy, no sympathy; Bakugou has no positive aspects to him. He has talent, talent for days, but talent isn't a person, a personality. He is a creature of pure ability, and nothing more, and that makes him a singularly unheroic creature.

But the story continues, and Bakugou is forced to confront his own weakness compared to his classmates... except, you know, he doesn't. Even as he does everything wrong, as picks fight with classmates, teachers, villains he should be avoiding... he faces no real consequences for it.

Because, as I've said? Bakugou used lethal force on Izuku. Knowingly. As a teacher tells him not to. That... that sounds like something that even a normal school would be concerned about, much less this elite school that is focused around being a hero, and whose student body is largely comprised of very lethal people, who they intent to unleash upon the world with minimal restrictions on their behavior.

I mean, forget the school; why is All Might fine with this? Aizawa? Nezu? Any of these teachers? How about all of their fellow students, all of who are heroic, and watched this happen live, and All Might's response, no less?

This is the second problem of Bakugou: what they see, talk to, and interact with, doesn't seem to match with the reality that we see, and these two problems are so intertwined that is hard to talk about them separately.

Because on Day One of school, Bakugou attempts to murder his fellow student, and no one cares. The worst he gets is a waggled finger. The fact that he isn't expelled is mind boggling beyond belief, when you pause for a second and consider that fact.

Aizawa talks like he just rough housed too hard or something, and the worse thing All Might mentions is failing the exercise.

This is something that many people have talked about, and at times have named many different ways. For this, I've decided to call it, 'Bakugou's Tsundere Field', because it makes other people act like Bakugou is tsundere, acting tough but with a kind heart, instead of just... acting like a shit person. You know, like he does.

Like I said, it's hard to realistically seperate that from Bakugou's general behavior, so I'm just going to keep going and point it out as I go along.

Next, let's talk about... the Sports Festival. The Sports Festival is where, if you need the reminder, Bakugou starts things off by insulting everyone else and making them hate his class. Twice.

First, by insulting the, admittedly vulture like crowd gawking over 1A's near death experience (I still don't like that), and the second as the valedictorian, where his 'speech' is his two sentence statement that he's going to be first... and yet, for some reason, Izuku watches this and marvels over how he's changed. Because normally, he'd do this but he'd be gloating. Izuku. Izuku. This isn't some mind boggling big thing to be in awe of.

Actually, let's chat about that a bit, because that's honestly such a big problem it's almost a third concern on it's own right: Izuku is our major narrator, right? So we get a lot of our views on Bakugou from his perspective, and... well, he's very much an unreliable narrator, whenever it comes to Bakugou. Every time he talks, there's this sense of awe in it that's been there ever since he was a child; it taints his narrative every time he talks about Bakugou, makes it always more positive than it should be.

Because, wow, Bakugou, that's different from before, an improvement, right? Well guess what? That shit is still shit, even if there's less of it. Izuku is just so biased, so traumatized, such... an abuse victim, that he he takes what Bakugou gives him and doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, because he, Deku, has no self respect, and Bakugou is the biggest and the baddest, the most beloved of their childhood, and it's something he never seems to get past. Even when he stands up to Bakugou, fights him, he still can't get past staring at him in awe, and barely ever complains about how he's being treated.

And because Izuku is our main viewpoint? This view on Bakugou taints our view on him, and it's easy to look at him with Izuku's admiring eyes.

But I digress. In the cavalry battle, Bakugou basiclly breaks the rules by flying off the horse, but gets away with it because of a technicality, which, you know, is great impulse to nurture: it's fine as long as it's technically legal! Sounds really heroic, right? Like something you want your law enforcement to live by?

Meanwhile, during this same fight, both Aizawa and All Might praises him for his ambition, and I just. Do you know what Bakugou says right before they think about that?

'I'm going to be Number One and leave piles of bodies in my wake!', he screams, while literally throwing a tantrum on national television and hitting the top of Kirishima's head like it's a desk.

...Wow. You know what? Maybe you two are mixing tenacity with bloodlust. That's one of the least heroic things I've ever heard in my life, and yet everyone just falls over themselves to praise him for it just because he's not content to settle for second place.

It's times like that I have to wonder: are they... are they seeing something different than what we do? Are all of Bakugou's most violent phrases and actions edited out for them? Did Hori add them for his fans? Or is it just The Tsundere Field(TM)?

Not even mentioning third stage where: he's praised for taking a woman 'seriously' for no apparent reason, and dragging it out when he would normally, just like he always does, just leap in mindlessly to attack, and this one time he really thinks it through it backfires when Ochaco turns it back around on him, only for him to just... over power it, with no ill effects. This comes with the double plus stupid on his part of him doing that because he's... what, afraid of her touching him?

Seriously? This entire post exists for me to call Bakugou out, but even I can't call him a coward. Every time he fights a villain, all of which want to kill him, and one who has Ochaco's power but lethal, he still charges in. Moreover, all it does it make you weightless; Bakugou's power explicitly gives him a way around that; if she tosses him, he can just fly back to the stage.

So... why is this a thing? This is a thing so, when the heroes, who at this point are symbolizing the audience's discontent with Bakugou, start complaining, Aizawa can step in, verbally slap them, us, and then explain how great Bakugou is, which get magnified by how casually he shoots down her plan at the end.

And here's the super special bonus problem with all of this: a hero's job isn't to protect themselves. A hero's job is to protect everyone else. Even if they, personally, are hurt, a hero is expected to risk their health, and lives, so that the general public is safe. You want to know what the problem is when protecting yourself and allowing the villain time to do things in the process? It means they get to do things. Like, say, set up a giant meteor shower that could cause mass casualties? You know, like what Ochaco actually did as Bakugou held back?

This is that plan that, need I remind you, Eraserhead was defending.

Then there's the fight with Shoto where, under the actual logic of the setting, according to Hori's very notes on how their Quirks work, Shoto should have froze him and thusly stopped him in his tracks, no fire needed, since it would stop Bakugou from sweating. But, instead, Bakugou powers through, somehow, and clinches a win anyways. And then, and this is after he eavesdrops on Shoto's conversation, BTW, which means he knows exactly why Shoto doesn't use his fire, he throws a fit that Shoto didn't use his fire on him anyways (which, considering he sweats nitroglycerin, means he would have exploded).

Now let's look at the Intern Arc, and I'll be honest: no matter how much a non-character Best Jeanist, I'll always be a fan of him for one simple reason:

When everyone else looked at Bakugou, and says, 'This kid is awesome', this is the one person in the entire setting who saw a problem. And as a bonus, he acts to do something about it.

In the same vein, I'll never forgive Hori for making him seem like such a pretentious twit, much less how hard he ends up cheering for Bakugou's every word later in the series. I'm relooking at these manga chapters, and his big attempt seems to be... jelling up Bakugou's hair, and... something like focusing the body and mind via the power of... tight jeans.

Wow. I mean, wow. The one time we get someone honestly, actually trying to change Bakugou for the better, to call him for what he is, and his big plan to do this is apparently giving him a new look.

Really? Like, beyond how much of a failure of an opportunity this is, beyond how it makes Best Jeanist look useless, it can give the reader that the impression that the reason why Bakugou is so wild and untamed is that those who want to reign him in are elitists who are wildly disconnected to reality, that he is right to be this way, because people following the rules are just holding him back.

And we come to... sigh. The Final Exam test. The fact that anyone who has spent five minutes with Izuku and Bakugou thinks that this clustefuck needs to happen is more proof of the terrifying powers of the TF. I mean, I just... when one person is constantly yelling, constantly aggressive, constantly swearing, constantly throwing fits, and this same person is constantly picking fights with another student, who, at worst, defends himself, and and more often just seems to take it..... what do you think they need?

Is it to be thrown together into a teamwork based, sink or swim test with seemingly enormous penalties for failure? Or is it to make one of them get therapy? And also detention?

Well, according to All Might, Aizawa, Nezu, and who knows who else....

*shrugs helplessly*

If only we could use Bakugou's powers for good, rather than making Izuku suffer.

But we can't. So the school locks an abuser and his victim together in a pseudo-deathmatch where teamwork is required to survive, as a form of therapy to treat the lack of cooperation that comes entirely from one party. Wonderful.

And, as anyone could predict, this promptly goes terribly. Bakugou attacks his teammate for the crime of... *checks notes* trying to work together with him against All Might, the strongest being in the setting. This is such a terrible crime because *checks notes again* ...Bakugou can totally take him.

Bakugou Katsuki, everybody. A 'genius' with the brain of a yipping chihuahua trying to fight a mastiff.

Recovery Girl watches this happen live and just goes, 'They're just absolutely the worst team, those two."

And oh, and I'm going to be honest, when you look at Recovery Girl she's kind of a piece of shit. She barely gets any scenes and any time they involve Izuku (a lot of that small amount) they are pure ass. But this? This just takes the cake.

Wow. They're such bad teammates, sure. Such heroic insight. Why, that's like saying putting Muscular on the same team with Kouta would be a bad team! That would have some truly terrible teamwork as well, right? It's something that is technically correct, but is just.... so heinously missing the core of the problem that you honestly have to wonder what in the actual fuck she's thinking. All Might and Aizawa, at least, have the excuse that they don't see that, at least as far as we know, but she deadass watches it happen, what the fuck.

And, as it has often been pointed out, Bakugou passes, after attacking his teammate and being carried out afterwards while Sero, who heroically sacrifices himself for the win and never once attacks his teammate, loses for exactly the same thing.

Simply marvelous.

Now let's move Training Camp Arc... where, when Bakugou is informed in the middle of an attack by villains that he is the target (and oh, we'll get to that in a moment). What is his first response to this? What does he do?

Le-fucking-roy right at them. Here's something that bothers me about how the story talks about Bakugou: he's so intelligent, he's analytical, all this stuff... but every time he gets into a fight? Or near a fight? His response is always, always to jump in. Needless to say, a heedless charge at the problem backfires, and he's captured. Surprise!

And back to Bakugou as target: the League of Villains watch him on TV and the first thing they thought about him is, I like the cut of his jib.

The worst people look at Bakugou and say he's clearly one of them.

This... this is something that's never really discussed. There's a press conference, Aizawa basiclly says he's too heroic to ever join them (ironically, since Bakugou's argument isn't about heroism or villainy, but that they're losers), and this just... never comes up again. There's no doubt in anyone's mind about anything after Eraserhead gives him that support

No one is concerned that, hey, maybe he did actully join them. Or the man with ten-thousand Quirks did something to him, brainwashed him, and honestly? That's not even a reach. That is actually what AFO was planning to do to him. This is a setting, need I remind you, where actual brainwashing Quirks exist, much less whatever the fuck happens to the Nomu and no one is concerned, after they all agree that there is already a mole, that Bakugou could become another mole, or maybe even was that original mole in the first place. No one goes, 'Hmm, well, the scum of Japan think he's one of them, maybe this is something we should be concerned about?'

I mean, fuck, no one just sits Bakugou down and tells him to pull his shit together, your image is ass and the media is probably going to be watching you until you die, ready to stain you with the accusation of villainy, and they can make your life hell if you slip up, and so far you don't seem even seem to care. Also, your heroic career, that you're oh so concerned about, is never going to get off the ground if everyone thinks your a villain, and a villain will never be Number One.

There's just... nothing. Bakugou is made out of warning signs, one the entire fucking setting ignores at times, but this is just... fuck.

Alright. Bakugou vs Izuku Two; Wank Bakugou Harder!

Actually, no. Before that... let's talk about one of the major lead ups to that: Bakugou finding out about OFA. Why? In part to force him into the plot, sure, but a large part of it is Izuku feeling... guilty. He feels guilty for lying to him, guilty for seeming to have a Quirk of his own; I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just want to talk about how fucked up that mentality is, that he felt he owed Bakugou that. He owes Bakugou nothing. Bakugou isn't his friend, isn't even his acquaintance, he's his abuser. Bakugou doesn't treat him in a way that deserves such sympathy, much less information on one of the greatest secrets in the setting. If Bakugou wants to assume that Izuku somehow hid that he had a Quirk for his entire life? Allowed himself to be constantly beat down, insulted, and mistreated, and for what? For this one gotcha moment of surprising Bakugou? Let him. If he's too stuck in his own idiocies to think of anything else, let him wallow in his own ignorance.

Anyways, BvI2: also known as that time Bakugou pulled his frequent victim aside to attack him and both of them got in trouble for it.

And this is billed as this big thing for Izuku, but he fights against Bakugou, metaphorically, all the time, and he's already had this big moment of physical defiance in BvI1. This fight isn't about Izuku, on any level. This fight exists solely for Bakugou. It starts because he starts it, he starts it because he feels upset and violence is apparently how he sorts through his emotions, and he wins it because he needs to.

But not just because he needs to win, oh no, there's more to that. Thematically, you see, this is important for Bakugou's growth. Or rather, the idea of his growth that never seems to persist between his growth moments. You see, thematically, Bakugou stands for victory via force, but him winning this fight doesn't make him right, doesn't give him All Might's approval, and to him, that's almost a paradox; that paradox is needed to move beyond who he is.

But that's the thing though. Bakugou needs it. Bakugou needs to win for Bakugou's growth. This growth is, both literally and thematically, at the expense of Izuku, because Izuku? If he won this, just... out matched Bakugou in a fight, no tricks, no technicalities, no crippling injuries, none of the things from their first fight? That would have been huge for him, for his confidence. It would have been Izuku, heroic Izuku, finally and truly eclipsing his old bully in every possible way, and that would have been great for him, for his confidence, for his self respect. Moreover, though, that still would have been good for Bakugou, because even when he loses, he never loses, and he could use an actual, humbling defeat to help screw his head on straight.

But Bakugou loses all the time, I hear people say? He lost in their first fight, true, but that's a technicality; anyone looking at them would know who won combat wise. He won the Sports Festival, even though he bitches about how it wasn't 'right'. He loses against All Might, sure, but All Might is the strongest man on the planet; that loss means nothing. Moreover, he wins against him through the goal of the exam at the end anyways. He loses to the villains, sure, but it was a bunch of them against him; it wasn't a fair fight, which is the whole reason him picking it was stupid in the first place. And now, here, he could have finally had a real loss to give him some perspective... but he doesn't.

Moreover, Hori just... hypes up Explosion as a Quirk more than it really deserves. Is it a good Quirk? Strong? Sure. But let's be honest here: he sweats nitroglycerin. Literally, his Quirk is his two parents mashed together into the best possible option, and it's basiclly lazy ass chemistry via genetics. There is, by the very definition of the substance that he explicitly makes, a cap to how much it can do with a certain volume; that's why new, more explosive explosives were made to replace it

One For All, all the heroic thematics aside, is literally just pure power. All Might changes the weather with a punch on accident; I'm convinced if he punched the ground and meant it, he could actually fuck up Japan as a island. The cap with OFA is yes. There is no way, under the logic of the setting, that Bakugou can ever contest that.

Like, look at Endeavour: when he wants more fire, he makes more fire. It's bigger. What the fuck is Bakugou going to do, rain his sweat on people? What happens when he dehydrates, because again, this is his sweat, which comes from his body? Cluster doesn't even make sense, really, that he somehow super concentrates it to make it more powerful, and AP Shot is literally him making a circle with his fingers before blowing up a bomb in it, yet somehow it makes, like, a laser?

The thing is that more loose Quirks, like Endeavour's, again, aren't as limited to science as the more 'realistic' Quirks like Bakugou's, so there's nothing really saying he can't just... make more flames. He could damage himself, sure, but since he already pulls that shit out of nothing, Endeavour increasing the volume of his magic ass firebending isn't hard to accept. Hori wrote himself into a hole here because if Bakugou just made explosions by magic? If he just... conceptually made explosions? A lot of this stuff would make sense (except AP Shot; fuck AP Shot), and it feels like that's how he treats it sometimes. But that's not what he did: it was his Dad's Acid Sweat with his Mom's Glycerin which means he sweats explosive sweat. And then, when it's convenient, he has shit like the Gauntlets, and basiclly all the rest of his support gear, that are explicitly filled with his sweat.

Bakugou's powers are basiclly whatever the fuck Hori wants at any given moment, and it's honestly frustrating when he tried to play so much of this setting's powers so seriously at first, and Bakugou's Quirk in particular is explained more than almost anyone else, and yet he tosses it the moment he thinks of something that sounds cool.

...But I've gotten off topic. The point is, OFA is OP and Izuku should have just won that on pure ability alone.

Anyways, after all this, the teachers finally come, once it's settled in Bakugou's favor, and they're both in trouble. For a fight that was 100% Bakugou's fault.

So, throughout all of this, Bakugou has changed, yes, but beyond the first couple of days, the changes have been grudging and glacial, and the reasons why are best exemplified in the License Exam where we find out that, for all intents and purposes, Bakugou is incapable of showing basic empathy. I mean, fuck, he fails to show that when, with any amount of logic, much less that of the genius Bakugou, would say that now is the time to fake it. An actual, factual sociopath would do better than him, purely because they would know to act for their own betterment.

(And the fact that his teachers look at this, explicit proof that he is seemingly incapable of actually trying to save a person, but do nothing with this information speaks volumes.... mostly about how bad Hori is at writing Bakugou and the implications of what he does constantly. Surely there's no way that, without the Author hyping him up, they'd just let that slide, right? ...Right?)

But, then, hope on the horizon! He has a make up exam, and it's apparently centered around pounding basic morals/how to deal with civilians into his thick skull! Surely, this is the time Bakugou will finally, finally, get the point, right?

And that's the thing: he does. There's this, probably to other people, touching moment where he sees himself in this asshole kid and talks about how you can't just look down on people. And it's like... finally. Finally! The switch has finally been flicked! He gets it! Change, improvement, development, fina-

Then the second he gets out of it he promptly goes back to calling everyone extras.

That dynamic in many ways is the perfect embodiment of Bakugou's development, and it's... It's like watching someone fighting off a disease. There's an infection, right and symptoms increase. Sometimes the symptoms appear out of nowhere, sometimes they increase over the span of several days. They peak, finally, then they fall back down, again either dramatically, or over the span of several days, and then you are back to normal.

Bakugou makes changes. He makes realizations. He gets 'humbled'. He has a single moment of heroism that the narrative hypes up, sometimes with a bit of build up before hand for a few chapters, and with people sometimes reacting to it for a few chapters afterwords.

And then it passes, like he's just finished fighting off a case of Morals.

You see, Bakugou is well liked. And, honestly, I get it. The asshole can be therapeutic to root for, at times. The problem is that he's too popular, and that this story is too about people being good. So Bakugou, to keep the fan base, to keep the sales, has to stay Bakugou, stay the unrepentant asshole constantly telling people to die.

But, at the same time, Bakugou is an anti-hero, basiclly, and this is a setting that just... can't handle the complexity of an anti-hero, in how people react to them, what they do and the morality of it, how it would affect society and so on, and so Bakugou can't stay as Bakugou, has to grow and be better and become a hero proper.

So... Hori goes, 'Why not both?' Thus, Bakugou gets his moments of 'development', and a slow, slow, slow trend to the better, and the fans get to see him do his thing, even though he's 'changed'. And it's easy, when you just sit back and accept the narrative, to believe that. But if you don't....

All of that? It makes his character empty because after a certain point, it's clear that Bakugou won't change, in so many fundamental levels, even if everyone around him acts like he does. Like attacking his teammates, like blindly charging the enemy , like constantly insulting everyone around him is just different because he's The New Bakugou now, like it's just fun and games, even when this was a dead serious problem early on. He didn't stop, he didn't change, or dial it back; everyone else just started acting differently when he does it. The same way in day one he attacks Izuku for having a Quirk, far later on he throws his metal... hair thing at him for daring to talk about his Quirk. And it, like, impales him, but haha! It's just funny now, it's so funny, that we can apparently see Izuku's brain! It's funny that, when Izuku is seriously thinking about his predecessors, Bakugou just instantly insults them for not being famous! Look at how patient Izuku is dealing with him as he acts like a bratty five year old child throwing a fit, look how fond All Might is as he insults his beloved teacher that he probably has deep seated trauma about regarding her untimely death!

In the War Arc, where Bakugou 'Rises'? Maybe ten minutes before his 'Rise', he was threatening to attack Izuku for daring to ask why he's following him. In a war zone.

The entire story, Bakugou has been described as a creature of instinct, a natural born warrior with a talent for battle. All of that is to contrast him with Izuku: where Izuku, instinctively, has the urge to save, Bakugou has the instinctive urge to fight. This is fundamental to him, a core characteristic, one of the (many) ways it's explained about how good he is at fighting.

And yet, suddenly, when Izuku is in danger, he moves without thinking (aka instinctively), but it's not attack Shigaraki, which, you know, he was shouting about doing not too long ago, it's to save Izuku.

And. And am I supposed to believe that?

I mean, fuck. In the FInal Arc, he has a Big Speech in response to SFO: about being 'way over fear and rejection since long ago', which SFO was talking in the context of how they create inequality in society, and how he wants to fix it... which, doesn't that mean Bakugou just doesn't care about them? Because being over them doesn't actually solve them, genius, it just means you, personally, are beyond them, and even now, he still treats everyone like they're unequal to him. Bakugou has always been the one to profit from inequality in society, between his Quirk, his talent, his well off family, so honestly all of that rings hollow.

He talks about how he has friends now, who are willing to move beyond them, and OK, that works a bit better, except when he still doesn't treat them like friends, in fact not too long ago he yelled at Momo for getting his stupid ass chuunibyou name wrong.

Or, maybe a minute later, when Bakugou gets a power up and/or realization about how SFO moves or something, and you know what he does? He instantly charges in blindly, alone, and is killed over it. Right after this speech about teamwork, while everyone was just... cheering his determination, and prissy Best Jeanist says, with a straight face and actual awe, 'Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight'.

And then when he sees Bakugou get smacked around, Eraserhead's first thought is to scream, desperately, 'Save him! Save him so he can try and become the Number One Hero!' in the middle of all this shit that is happening.

All of this is presented to us as this... thrilling thing, with music that is going to be swelling in the background when its animated, and everyone cheering him on, right before he's tragically struck down for being too stupid to live (no, seriously, SFO actually lampshades this. Before this big 'dramatic' moment, he says that getting up close to him is pure idiocy, and all that it will do is allow you to get get smashed by an All Might like power. Then, you know, Bakugou closes in, again, because he had bitchslapped Bakugou before, and then a second time during that boast, and it goes exactly as SFO said) and we're supposed to mourn him. Again, actually, even though this is a blatant set up for him powering up, since this is literally the same set up as the War Arc.

All of this work, all of this emotion, and all of it rings hollow because, well, it's Bakugou, and no amount of trying to hype up teamwork battle is going to make it work for me when the second the Big Moment is over he reverts to his normal asshole routine.

That Tsundere Field, guys. Too strong, too broken.

While I'm at it, let's talk about Bakugou being Quirkist, because, well, he is. It's a big part of his early character: the reason he rags on Izuku so hard, so successfully, the reason he's so big and important as a child, is about Quirks. When they get introduced the past users? His first comment is that they have weak Quirks.

Izuku saves him and he still doesn't think much about him; it's only later when he starts actually acknowledging Izuku.

When he has a Quirk.

And it's not just a Quirk, it's more than that: it's a strong Quirk, powerful. Enough for him to defeat Bakugou. All the respect Bakugou builds for Izuku? And while it stagnates for awhile, I do have to admit he does respect Izuku more than he did originally... and it's not because Izuku is kind, or heroic; he still hates that. No, he starts respecting Izuku because he is strong. His respect isn't about Izuku as a person, it's about Izuku's Quirk. All his respect, slowly built up throughout the series, comes from the corrupt foundation that Izuku is worth respecting only because he has a Quirk. Later, this gets worse because he learns about OFA and starts valuing Izuku as important, but it's only because his Quirk is important. It's All Might's Quirk. His second fight with Izuku is because of it's All Might's Quirk. He starts training him (that one time, and apparently never gain) because it's All Might's Quirk. When Izuku goes 'rogue'? And when he heroically goes to hunt him down? One of the first thing he does is talk about how he's so great because he has One For All, and then calls him an All Might wannabie*.

And you know what? I just talked about Class A hunting down Izuku recently, but let's talk about that more, because I hate it so much.

I really, honestly wonder if Hori is blind to the parallel he set up here, or if he invoked it on purpose, to try and show how Bakugou has 'improved'.

Look back at the first chapter, where we first see Bakugou. Think about that dynamic: Izuku, beaten down, on one side, while on the other, Bakugou. Strong, proud, with minions at his back, all of them ready to throw down at his command.

The thing is? The first time is shown as clearly villainous in nature, a cruel bully against someone who is weak but heroic. The second time, everything is the same, but it's shown differently. Bakugou is being shown as heroic for doing this, heroic for leading Izuku's friends to hunt him down, heroic for attacking him.

*And ah, Bakugou the Hypocrite. Let's finish this up by talking about Bakugou's name. When we first talk about hero names, Bakugou's naming sense is much like it is for his final name, and Midnight promptly shoots down every one of them because, well, they aren't heroic, and the story pokes fun at him a little because he clearly doesn't get it.

Then it's the War Arc. Bakugou has 'grown', there's all this hype for his big heroics moments, and he announces his new name... Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. And I'm just wondering... am I getting punked? This is the the same shit as before! No, actually it's worse than that, it's bigger, longer, and more ridiculous.

The universal response is that it's tacky. Nejire thinks it's disgusting. Mirio literally thinks it's a joke.

But the story itself treats it seriously, and over time? People start accepting it, taking it seriously as well, treating that stupid name with respect. What the fuck kind of hero name has the word murder in it? What kind of hero calls himself a god?

And finally, it's Dynamight. Which resembles All Might, the Greatest, Most Beloved Hero, the one Bakugou has always considered the best and viewed as his goal to surpass.

And yet he says that Izuku, who is calling himself Deku, is the one viewing himself as an All Might wannabie.

#this got way too long #basically an ask at this point #bnha critical #mha critical #bakugou critical #anti bakugo #izuku deserves better #izuku is basiclly an abuse victim #why doesn't izuku have burn scars? #the power dynamics of saving #'change and improvement' are hollow words without context #bakugou's SCP Worthy Tsundere Field #Izuku is an unreliable narrator #AP Shot makes no sense #Bakugou's development is like watching someone get over an infection of Morals

[lexosaurus]

Hello! Very random and no worries if that's not your intention for the blog, but I love reading about your teacher experience and insights! Take this ask more so as encouragement to write more about it if you feel like it, because I'm going to start teaching soon (and yes, many people I've met have warned me about both its miracles and horrors lol) and it's really helpful to hear others' experiences :)

Thanks for the ask! Honestly I'm just a first year, so I don't have a tonnnn of advice to give. But here's a few general first year tips from one to a future another:

1 — No matter what, having a good department team is ESSENTIAL. You're going to be relying on them a lot your first year for help, advice, curriculum stuff, behavioral management stuff, etc. Talk to them, get to know them, have lunch with them, share issues/seek advice from them. You're going to encounter situations that your degree did not prepare you for (likely, in the first week lol. For me, it was Day 1) and having people around to help you judgement free is going to be crucial. I was super lucky that my department team and all the teachers from other departments that I work closely with are really amazing, easy to work with, etc.

2 — You're also going to want a good relationship with the "other" departments. The library staff, tech staff, sped department, guidance, janitors, etc. They're all lovely people, so don't be afraid to pop in to introduce yourself on the first week!

3 — Crazy things are going to happen. Like....all the time. Don't bring them home with you. As soon as you exit the doors, shake it off. All your students made it on the bus to their parents alive, so it's fine. Your job is done for the day. I've been going to the gym a lot right from school, and it's been really helpful to prevent myself from taking anything home with me so to speak.

4 — Document, document, document. Did something happen? Document it, email a copy to whoever's applicable: admin, guidance, sped, BCBA, etc. "Hello, just emailing a summary of what happened today" is not an uncommon email for me to send out. If an IEP isn't working, well at the next IEP meeting it shows they have 10 emails in the last month from you about little Timmy's hourly verbal threats and attempted physical violence to his classmates, so maybe the BCBA needs to do some data collection to adjust his BIP, or they need to give him a 1-1, or give him more resource intervention, etc.

5 — This isn't so much of advice, more like reassurance. The small moments when it clicks for a student and they get something, and then the confidence and excitement shows, it's really the best. That's probably why I've fallen so in love with working where I did. The other day, after weeks of struggling to help this student with Downs with his math, I tried a totally different approach based off a few example problems I saw in a math intervention workbook and hOLY HELL IT WORKED. It totally clicked for him, and the kid was so excited to do a problem out on the board for the class. It was amazing. Another student with an LD who I've been helping heavily school aced a quiz in one of her classes and legit ran into the room to show me. Cue me literally jumping out of my chair to high-five her, and her calling her parents to deliver the good news. Like, little things like that are really really special, and they're going to mean so much to you. And I hope you get to experience LOTS of them too!

#ask #not dp related #teaching #it's a great career but it can be stressful if you don't have other outlets #having lots of hobbies outside of school has helped prevent burnout significantly #i also do gig work in my other career outside of school #which has been another great outlet! #i have ppl i work with who i can see are reaching burnout now #and being in a place where you dread going to work every day is both not good for your mental health #and also isn't good for the kids you're working with #so preventing that is honestly key #i'd like to think that it's because i haven't been afraid to rely on those around me for help when i need it has been a huge factor #if something happened i have a few veteran teachers who have kinda taken the mentor role on me that i can go to #and when they need a judgement-free listening ear im open to be that person for them as well #i've also gotten to know some ppl in other departments pretty well #which is helpful when i'm struggling with a specific student #i can go to one of their other teachers and see how it's going in their classes #compare notes and whatnot

[lurkingteapot]

I will not reach you. 君には届かない。Ep 4

I was thinking about subtitles the entire first half of the episode so wasn't really liveblogging, but. These two. I love them. I love the pacing of this show. I really, really like the classmates, especially Hosaka, obnoxious as he's being.

Murasen is such a high school teacher. Dajare and all.

Hosaka is NOT letting this go and I love that for him, for me, and (ultimately, though I don't think he appreciates it yet) for Yamato (and Kakeru).

Arashiyama? EXCELLENT choice, Yamato's clearly a man of taste. When I lived in Kyoto I'd sometimes just bike out to have a walk in the bamboo grove, or to have sweets at one of the cafés, or just stand on Togetsukyo and look out over the water.

Yamato's smile when Kakeru offered!! I am so tempted to translate 'yakusoku da yo' with 'it's a date', but. aaah.

KYOTO oh I miss it (in case that wasn't clear from the rant above)

My kneejerk reaction just now was "oh NO not the girls", which isn't really fair to them – Kayo deserves to see her bf, and Akane is sweet.

"i need the bathroom" classic Yamato

these two, is2g

calling him out to see the stars with you, holy shit, you've got it just as bad as Yamato, Kakeru

the dad lives!!! aah I'm really happy to hear that somehow

awww, they really do go way back

oh Yamato, you're really trying

friends to lovers best dynamic forever, I said what I said

ONSENNNN

ONSENNNNNN

ahahaha Kakeru's SO in his head (but then again, who knows what goes down in the bathroom with teenagers – I legit got groped in the chest by a same-gender classmate during bath time on my own school trip, so, uh, maybe not unreasonable to assume things might get weird)

poor Kakeru, being used as a mule

Yamato is acting 'normal' because he's used to being in love with you, kiddo

HOSAKA

I love Hosaka so much

I kind of wonder about Hosaka's backstory now, with him all insightful

oh that shirt on Kakeru! I want that shirt!

ahaha CLASSIC

aaah, tatami. I'm almost sad my own class trip was to Hokkaido so we stayed at a regular hotel :'D but only almost

I am FOAMING AT THE MOUTH god these two, these TWO

the pacing of this show is so good!

In case you couldn't tell, I'm thoroughly in love with this show. Is it special? maybe not. but like many of my favourites (*cough* Bad Buddy *cough*) it takes an ordinary, run-of-the-mill story and tells it in a really lovely way.

Also apparently the Japanese shorthand for this show is kiminai, so I'll be rebranding in my head and tags, sigh

#kimi ni wa todokanai #君には届かない。 #君には届かない #キミない #I cannot reach you #kiminai ep 4 #bl watch liveblog #my nonsense

[supermarine-silvally]

hey!! oc bingo buddy! uh! oc bingo questions time B) From me @mshrom

1) Does Iryna have a favorite teacher at UA? A mentor even?

2) What did Iryna first think of everyone in her class? Good first impressions? Bad first impressions?

3) What are her favorite subjects in school?

4) Did she always want to be a hero or did she grow up with other ambitions?

5) What’s her family like?

hiiiii omg these are great questions!!! I'll literally jump on any chance to talk about Miss Iryna Oleksandrivna Kovalenko heheh answers below the cut!

1) Does Iryna have a favorite teacher at UA? A mentor even?

Her favourite teacher is definitely All Might. She was absolutely starstruck the first time she saw him in person and could barely get a coherent sentence out (but after having dealt with Izuku for over a year at this point he’s probably used to that hahaha). She’s also very fond of her homeroom teacher, Thirteen.

She does indeed also have a mentor— The year she entered UA was the year after the canon protagonists did (she’s a year younger), and at that point, in my canon, the UA staff decided to try something a little different and put together a mentorship program for the first- and second-year students. Each of the canon protagonists (who had now moved up to 2-A) was assigned to mentor one of the incoming first-years (my batch of 20 OCs, Iryna included) based on quirk similarity and personal compatibility, and the teams of two would end up competing in what became essentially a doubles tournament for the Sports Festival.

Poor Iryna got stuck with the demon coach from hell— Bakugou Katsuki himself. (He actually ends up being a really good mentor, though).

2) What did Iryna first think of everyone in her class? Good first impressions? Bad first impressions?

(I should quickly specify that all of her classmates are other OCs!) She was so nervous at first that she mostly worried about what THEY thought of HER, especially being not just foreign, but the first student from Eastern Europe that the school’s ever had. Most of them left good first impressions, though. She recognized Monoma Nagito (Neito’s brother) and Iida Tenshi (Tenya’s cousin) from the entrance exam, and they quickly became her closest friends in the class, but she soon befriended the others as well. I think her only classmate that she isn’t always too fond of is Atsushi Ren, who is kind of known to be a bit of a braggart and a loudmouth and she sometimes just wants to tell him to shut the hell up lol

The main person she met at UA whom she had a TERRIBLE first impression of was Bakugou haha when they were first paired together for the mentorship program, he acted like she was the most annoying pest of all time and some kind of cosmic punishment designed to torment him specifically, and she thought he was the world’s biggest asshole and also wanted nothing to do with him (she legit haaaaated this dude so much, it's so funny to go back and read earlier chapters of Ground Zero when they were very much not getting along lol). But they eventually worked it out and became very fond of each other :)

3) What are her favorite subjects in school?

Hero Studies will always be her number 1 class, she love love looooooooves it! Whether it’s rescue/disaster training, developing her quirk/ultimate moves, or just general sparring with her classmates, she’s all over it. Outside of hero-related coursework, she’s pretty good at Chemistry and Physics (but hates Biology with a burning passion) and is decent at math, too. She tends to do well at science-y stuff, the Biology hatred is more over having to memorize terms and always getting them mixed up, especially since she’s trying to learn them in her second language.

4) Did she always want to be a hero or did she grow up with other ambitions?

She definitely always knew she wanted to be a Pro Hero! Hero culture in Ukraine is quite different and a lot more low-key than in Japan, but she grew up watching the few Ukrainian Pro Heroes that were around as well as Japanese and American and other Western heroes on TV and wanted to be just like them— especially All Might, because he was the strongest and the best, but more importantly, because he kept the peace, and that was something she desperately hopes to emulate. When her quirk manifested, she realized she had the potential to be just like him if she worked and studied hard, and as such set her sights on attending the same prestigious hero academy her mother once did.

5) What’s her family like?

Her family is very close! She currently lives (while not attending UA) in the small town of Letychiv with her father, Oleksandr (Sasha), her younger brother, Mykyta, and her grandmother, Stanislava, as well as the family’s pet chickens. Iryna is extremely protective of Mykyta, since he’s six years younger and also quirkless, and would literally do anything for him. Her father and grandmother are super supportive of her having moved to Japan temporarily to attend UA, and she frequently chats with them over video call. She misses them a lot, despite the exciting life she has in Japan.

Iryna’s mother, Reina, is another story. When Iryna was only eight, her mother went back to Japan on what was supposed to be a quick trip, and never returned. No one knows what happened to her, either— not the Japanese police who investigated the incident, nor any Pro Heroes (including All Might) who took on the case, nor Iryna’s family in general. It was like she simply vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind. Iryna’s grandmother is certain that Reina left and abandoned her partner and children, but Iryna isn’t so sure. Part of the reason behind her relocation to Japan to attend UA is to see if she can pick up the trail and finally learn what truly happened to Igarashi Reina seven years earlier.

tysm for the questions, they were so much fun to answer!! :D

#ocb2023 #oc creator bingo 2023 #my ocs #oc: iryna oleksandrivna kovalenko #ocapp #ocappreciation #bnha oc

[emersonfreepress]

As an adult, I look back at my private school past and realize it was a fucking weird system I had grown up in.

Your whole world is your classroom: unlike American school where you move from one class to another, you have only one classroom with a fixed group of people. You grow up with that fixed group. You interact with your other grademates but never with the same level of comfort as you do with your classmates. Oh, and your classrooms become such sacred spaces you can't enter other classrooms without feeling intense discomfort

Your interactions with upper- and underclassmen are almost non-existent. The way my school was designed, each grade had its own floor with teachers patrolling during recess to make sure no one went to the floor they are not supposed to.

If you are a 1st grader, you can't go to 2nd grade floor, and if you are a 2nd grader, you cannot be allowed around 1st graders. Not without an escort and even if you have a legit reason to go, you better get over it fast and go back to your designated space quickly.

At the common spaces like gardens and playgrounds, there would be at least two teachers out to make sure different-aged kids don't get mixed.

I think the goal was to make sure no bullying from older students happened. However, it also made our Big-Little School Programme (meant for middle schoolers to educate elementary schoolers on middle school life) very short-lived because both parties were very uncomfortable around each other and absolutely unwilling to talk.

And because you grew up with that fixed group of people, it becomes a very upsetting event when you are forced to mix up in middle school as preparation for high school. My grade was unfortunately the test group for that method, and we experienced a huge spike up in bullying during middle school because we were all miserable and feeling unsafe around these people we both knew and didn't know. If I remember correctly, it continued until my whole grade graduated.

If you were a private school kid, you are very likely to remain as one until university. But the good news is that you will still get to see your old schoolmates, because they all tend to aim for the same type of high school!

Literally the only reason I didn't recognize a good chunk of my high school grademates while my previous schoolmates did was because I wasn't upper class so I never ran in the same (outside of school) social classes as they did growing up. My mother knew other kids' mothers but her working-class sensibilities didn't mesh well with them so she was rather distant.

Dating is... oh boy. You would be hardpressed to find two kids who grew up going to the same school before high school date. Seriously. Any time I saw one of my classmates date, it would always be with someone they didn't go to the same school with, or someone older or younger than them. Never an old schoolmate, and never a classmate either.

For us, romance did not happen until high school when most of us went to different schools and met other people, and that's besides the cultural differences between us and Americans.

So, yeah. Private school culture, especially if you are rich, is kinda weird and very isolating.

This is fascinating! Wow, thank you so much for this, anon. took me a long minute to get around to reading it all, but I love hearing this perspective. I have thoughts since some of this is so alien and some is so familiar to me!

The Catholic school that I attended for one year of middle school was a bit like that—small enough that each grade was a single class. So all the students had like toddler class photos together and had all been to each other’s (giant) houses and seen each other grown up etc etc. It’s one of only a few social environments I’ve been in where I truly felt there was this permanent, inflexible outsider status stamped onto me. Also it’s just awkward being the new kid with super close classes like that? I was a zombie the whole school year, I couldn’t afford the stuff they did outside of school and barely knew what the heck they were talking about in casual conversation (so I relate to your mom’s distance tbh). I have seen that exact thing you’re talking about from the perspective of the new kid 😅 including that chasm between grades! There were only a handful of exceptions and probably just because some upperclassmen had younger siblings. That’s interesting that they were so strict about different grades fraternizing though… I’ve never heard of that being so strictly enforced in grade school lol

The poor social adjustment and uptick in bullying makes a lot of sense in that situation… My own school system was public and frequently overcrowded—you always met new people, not just every grade but almost every few weeks once you got to middle school. A number of elementary schools get funneled into two middle schools, and then those get funneled into a freshman-only off-campus site of the only high school in town. It was a huge joke in my friend group that we had no idea who half of the people in our graduating class were. Funny because it was true 😂

And the dating! In a school so big, people always end up dating people in their social circles/cliques. Maybe jocks from different social groups date. Maybe classmates with chemistry date. But mostly it’s people having crushes on the cutest whoever in or around the people they already talk to daily. I’ve always found the tropes of fawning over The Most Popular Kid to be so alien and like... made up! Like strictly a movie and TV thing 😆 Even if everyone knew your name we just weren't doing a whole rat race/social hierarchy thing. It was too big a school for that to make sense. No idea what it's like now with shit like clout and TikTok and whatever else the youths bully each other over these days 😅 I imagine it's changed... which makes me sad since that was like the only toxic thing we lacked at that school 😆

#doesnt help that my hs is 'famous' or wtver the fuck lol #barely famous but the ego the administration tried to instill in us says otherwise 😆 #lovely anon #i think there's a tag for this? #school talk #very curious about where this anon is from

[menalez]

Hi Mena. This is gonna be long. I'm an 18 year old girl and it's been a year since I'm utterly unable to study. I've dedicated my childhood and most of my teen years to studying mostly, to the point where I barely leave the house for any other reason than to go to class and school. My elementary school was especially vicious even though there was no need for me to spend most of my childhood studying to the point where my homework wouldn't end even at night. I was insanely stressed because the amount of homework they gave us was so much that I'd call my friend 6, and yes 6 times a day to make sure I haven't missed any homework. Teachers at elementary would usually take advantage of the quiet students' lack of self confidence and unconditional politeness to be absolutely vile to me and quiet students like me. They'd legit passive aggressively or aggressively lecture me for an hour for something I had no part in and was done by my other, more confident and vocal classmates who'd clap back at the teacher if lectured. Once one of them beat me and my friend up for using the restroom at the same time. No we didn't goof around. We just used the restroom and came back...and she gave us the permission for it!! Students were vicious to each other and even more vicious to me as I couldn't stand up for myself. That's my fault, but anyways. I do not know if I should blame the teachers, but some of them visibly self harmed in our presence and now that I'm older, I realize they had sadistic tendencies too. But I don't think that's their fault. I hope they're doing better now.

Fast forward to high school, the homework was still too much, still had shitty classmates, but at least they didn't attempt to murder me twice. But teachers were excellent! They didn't try to bond with us or have heart to heart talk with us about anything. Didn't try to act like we're their children. Didn't pretend to care about us. Didn't do "tough love" or whatever the fuck that means; they just didn't let anyone disrespect them and that's it. Didn't act like they owed us anything other than teaching. Didnt try to teach about morality or religion. They'd teach, help us with our academic problems, and then just leave. It might sound bad, but I don't care. I loved my teachers for being teachers, for being good at their jobs, not more or less. I'm still in contact with some of them and they are absolutely awesome. I told about my experiences in elementary school to my classmates and they told me to stop midway because it upset them. That was when I understood what I experienced wasn't normal.

In Corona, our online education was basically torture as it lagged 13 times per session, so I had to study on my own. Now the school is finished. I haven't had legitimate education for I suppose two years now, and I'm actually privileged to not be one of the girls in villages who can't and couldn't afford the technology to be connected to the exams at the very least, and had to give up on education. My heart absolutely goes for them, but I'm powerless.

But still. I'm struggling, and I'm tired of hiding it. Being a student was most of my identity. It was and is more important to me than being the daughter of my family, or being a sister to my little sibling. That was my most important identity. Please tell me how I can go back to studying the way I did? Im overwhelmed by bad memories when I try to study and I struggle to breath. I can't stand the sight of books anymore, and I'm being shamed and called lazy for it. I can't enjoy the subjects I used to enjoy. I didn't sacrifice everything that I did to be a jobless woman who will have to rely on a culum who will legally have the right to my body and more than half of my life choices under the law. Actually, my father, despite being very misogynistic on a lot of instances, cared about me enough to have a heart to heart with me and tell me what's up, instead of trying to marry me off and tell me it's safe to rely on men. He was honest with me, he told me as it is, and his biggest fear is me relying on my potential SO, and I'm privileged for it.

Now...how do I get back to studying? Do you have any suggestions? I can't bring up my issues anymore because it's used against me to justify barring women from education, while boys can unashamedly drone about their struggles with school.

your reaction to studying honestly sounds a lot like your former experiences with education deeply traumatised you. bad associations, what sounds like panic attacks, being flooded with negative memories… that’s either trauma or anxiety rooted in trauma. if seeking a therapist to help break these associations and instead associate positive things with studying is not a possibility for you, then i guess you’d have to break that association yourself. the way i’d suggest doing that is to break it down to very small steps. if you can’t stand the smell of books, would you be able to stand the smell of certain books or some papers or sth else? or perhaps have books around you (the kind u can smell) & do something positive & that u enjoy while smelling the scent of the books. this’ll at least help you not associate the smell of books with something deeply negative. the same can be said for other aspects, like if studying itself is automatically associated with negative memories for u is it possible to perhaps break down studying into very small sections, ensure you do it in a happy + safe environment and reward yourself before, after, & in between the study session? while doing these things, it also helps to write yourself notes about how it felt, if negative think of how you could think of the situation differently or feel better about the situation. if positive, make note of that too bc it’s good to show urself that its nothing too bad nor out of reach. basically i’m suggesting that u try to condition urself into associating studying with positive things rather than the very negative experiences you’ve had. it’s hard to do it on ur own, but it’s possible. trying to be consistent with this pattern and with the positive things you make the situation better with can help. besides that, practicing mindfulness around it can help. for example just dedicating some time to focusing on a book (look at it, hear the sounds it produces when u flip it and such, smell it, feel it… can’t taste it for obv reasons). while that sounds boring & dumb it can perhaps make u also associate book smells less with negative things.

those are the tips i’ve got off the top of my head but honestly it’s probably easier to find a therapist who perhaps specialises in therapy against phobias (such as exposure therapy) bc they generally can figure out how to break it down into smaller steps (better than i can at least dhdhshs). if thats possible id advise that above u trying to do it alone (requires a lot of discipline which i personally do not have & strength too). idk if that helps and i cant think of any other tips so if anyone has better advice.. pls feel free to help here 😭

[frecklesky]

Hey, loved your The signs as Juliet Capulet quotes, thought I would share another Romeo and Juliet request for you and share a couple of stories from when I read it in school.

The request: Moments from Romeo and Juliet

The stories: So when we read the opening scene where the servants are fighting, me and my best friend shared the same English class anyway, she was Lady Montague and I was Lady Capulet, we found it funny cause they were from rival families and we are (and still are) best friends. The second story involved who was to play Juliet and ALL the girls in my class were fighting for the role (not fist fighting mind you just arguing) anyway the teacher was so done with the fighting that she legit casted a boy classmate to play Juliet, and the next day comes but he’s not there so the teacher had no choice but to assign a girl the role of Juliet. Yep good times but also crazy.

How fun! Sounds like your class is very lively! Thanks for the wonderful ask and idea 💕

The Sun Signs as Moments from Romeo and Juliet

Aries: Act 3, Scene 1 - Romeo getting banished after killing Tybalt to avenge Mercutio's death

Taurus: Act 4, Scene 5 - Lady Capulet learning of Juliet's "dead" body and declaring all preparations for the wedding might as well be used for the funeral.

Gemini: Act 1, Scene 1 - The fight breaking out between the Capulet house and Montague house. Benvolio trying to de-escalate, and the fight only escalating when Tybalt arrives.

Cancer: Act 2, Scene 6 - Juliet and Romeo meeting secretly at Friar Laurence's cell to get married

Leo: Act 3, Scene 1 - Mercutio getting stabbed by Tybalt after Romeo gets in the way.

Virgo: Act 2, Scene 2 - Romeo watching Juliet who stands on her balcony and then finally talking. Juliet gets called inside by her Nurse to end their conversation.

Libra: Act 2, Scene 3 - Romeo telling Friar Laurence that he wants to marry Juliet, despite just moments before being obsessed with Rosaline.

Scorpio: Act 5, Scene 3 - Romeo killing Paris without realizing who Paris is, only to then poison himself and die beside Juliet's "dead"/sleeping body.

Sagittarius: Act 5, Scene 1 - Friar Laurence learning that the letter did not reach Romeo in time to tell him Juliet is not really dead and worrying about the consequences.

Capricorn: Act 4, Scene 3 - Juliet worrying that Friar may have given her poison, but deciding to take it anyway.

Aquarius: Act 4, Scene 1 - Juliet threatening to kill herself if Friar Laurence can't help her get out of marrying Paris.

Pisces: Act 3, Scene 2 - Juliet cursing Romeo after he has killed Tybalt, and realizing she must stand by her husband.

#leo #aquarius #capricorn #gemini #libra #pisces #sagittarius #scorpio #taurus #cancer #aries #virgo #the zodiac #the zodiac signs as #zodiac signs as #romeo and juliet #shakespeare

[ruckis--rookie]

I had my third dream with Kitsuneoctua in it, and I was Kitsuneotua in it again.  At least for the second half.  For some reason I have a lot of school dreams despite not being in school anymore, so for the sake of consistency I'm gonna say that it was some sort of college school.... built like a high school.  I dunno, maybe some sort of prep school?  Because I was late to my first class at the beginning of the year, I didn't have my class sheets. Also at this point I'm in my normal human irl look so. I eventually found my way to the teacher who was doing some sort of weird food game with bread being at our assigned seats that had our names written down on them.  Legit, just a slice of bread with my name on it.  I sat down, happy because one of the kids I ended up next to was an old irl classmate of mine who's an absolute sweetheart.  I ended up taking the up and eating it because I have a food problem and I noticed everyone was looking at me, including the teacher who seemed really upset.  I noticed nobody had eaten their bread.  

The teacher started getting onto me for not listening to directions which got ME really upset because 1. I was late to class 2. ADHD with the tendency to daydream and space out when I'm stressed, I'm awful at following direction unless your speaking directly at me and 3. you put food in front of a junkie who loves food and eats like a garbage truck when they're stressed...

she was like NEXT YOUR GONNA TELL ME YOU DIDNT KNOW WE HAD (x name of desserts) WE HAVE SPECIFICALLY FOR EATING? to which I looked and I was like.... NO I DIDNT BUT I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO KNOW, I LOVE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS AND BANANA BREAD.  She looked even more upset and I kinda just threw my hands up and walked out of the class, not wanting to deal with it.  I was legit about ready to walk outta school.  

Then a hall monitor guy (who's like huge he was a really tall and decently built guy with a deepish voice) comes up to me questioning why I wasn't in class.  He also saw I was upset and wanted to offer a way for me to vent.  So I'm explaining to this guy what happened and I legit said towards the end of my explaination "The school year hasn't even started and I already wanna fuckin die".  I covered my mouth realizing swearing is against the rules, of which I do a lot of when I'm truly upset.  I watch this guy pull out a pen and notebook to give me a write up and I'm sitting here groaning like "I wish I didn't have to put up with this bullcrap...  Wait a minute... I technically *don't* have to put up with this bullcrap...!"  I look over at this dude and grab him by the sleeve with the force of god.  I said "C'mere, there's something I need to show you" as I then proceeded to drag this man who is well over double my size outside.  Now in this outside space there were a few people in the cultural arts class doing a session, kind of looked like a first day at school party.  

There was some really nice relaxing traditional japanese themed music being played by people and a variety of snacks from all around the world.  I thought "I had no idea this was going on out here but this is perfect."  So I turn to this guy and was like "Do you believe in Yo-Kai?  Spirits, myths... Do you believe in things like dragons and ghouls... and Kitsune?"  The guy obviously gave me a funny look like bruh what are you talking about... Its at that point when I was walking past him, I let one of my tails show.  Just one.  He was astonished... thought it was fake at first.  He even got another student to start feeling at it like "feel how soft :D"  Its at that point I kind of smirked and then proceeded to let the rest of my tails show.  So obviously he's taken aback.  It's at that point I let the rest of my form as Kitsuneoctua show and I'm now towering above this man.  I'm just about to tell him off like oh I dont have to be at this school and put up with the authorities bs, but then I feel someone petting my thigh.  Then I feel someone petting my tales with the utmost care.  Usually a kitsune might not like that but they were being extra gentle, and it felt nice.  I noticed that the people in the cultural arts class were absolutely enamored with me.  They even started gifting treats and offering me to come and join the festivities.  I forgot what I was even mad about in the first place, so of course I ended up joining them.  I just hear the hall monitor let out an exasperated "I need to look more into this" before his eventual leave and I had a good time hanging out with people.  

I ended up hanging out in that class for most of the day as the students shift.  Some thought I was fake and had to prove it via fire dancing, literally conjuring up my own fox fire to do so.  When lunch and recess came around (yes they were given reccess) I followed, where I was given more attention, questions, and by the end of the day adoration.  I stayed overnight and the next day I was like the popular kid in school, except I was the giant fox that skulked around the halls because I mean how are you supposed to get rid of a Kitsune that doesn't wanna leave?  Especially when the students there love said Kitsune?  The lashback of it would be too great.  And I was thoroughly enjoying the love of the mortals, so I was essentially acting as a guardian and my only payment was adoration, food, and shelter. Now I'm sure there probably would have been an arc of "you're not supposed to be here" arc because hello, big kitsune with god powers walking among mortals.  It happened with the first Kitsuneoctua dream where I was being hunted by soldiers from Area 51.  But I was rudely awoken by my furious coughing, I think my throat was dry or a small bug flew up my nose.

but for what the dream was it was really nice.  Just... getting loved and adored as a big fluffy Kitsune.  That was nice :)

#ruckis borks #incoherent rambling #long post #dreams

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Being a Writer is Lonesome

When I was a kid, I wasn’t the type of writer who was shy about sharing their stories. In fact, I frequently annoyed people with my stories. I wrote with a pen on a pad of paper. I wrote on anything I could find really. If I left my pad at home and was out with my parents at a restaurant, I would start writing the next scene on my napkin.

I would openly wave my papers in front of friends and classmates saying, “Hey do you want to read this fanfic I wrote about Yoshi saving Princess Peach? It’s really funny. At least, I think it’s funny. Tell me what you think!” 

Some classmates would try to get me to shut up by tearing apart my papers. I would then painstakingly rewrite the story word-by-word on new pages. If they tore that up too, I just kept rewriting. . . and I kept asking them to read my stories. I had to piece together lots of pages with Scotch tape, and I still have them stored away in my drawers. They are ancient artifacts by now. You have to be very gentle when you hold them.

I think I was too innocent back then to recognize that I was being bullied. Even today I think about it like, “Was I bullied? I don’t actually know.” Can you say you were bullied if you were never aware that you were being bullied? For the sake of avoiding a long philosophical argument, probably. Yes. But that behavior flew over my head at the time because I had a one-track mind. It was to create. If someone destroyed my creation then I had to recreate it. No ifs ands or butts about it. It HAD to come alive again. I just retorted with, “You’re fucking dumb” and rewrote the story. I’d then have the audacity (or stupidity, either way) to ask them again to read it.

Learning how to write was no easy task. I had the very bad luck of being assigned very bad English teachers throughout my schooling. Very bad. Extremely bad. My middle school English teacher ruled with an iron fist, and we did what we could just to evade her wrath, not so much to genuinely learn. My closest friends from that time will never forget the traumatic experience we had reading the book Johnny Tremain as a class. Just thinking about that book makes me shudder. We were survivors of a long, bitter war. Then in high school, each year was like another Defense Against the Dark Arts situation. The English teacher would be relatively new, not very good, and didn’t last very long. 

My English teacher in sophomore year was more like a surfer dude than an English teacher. You would take one look at this guy and “English teacher” was the last guess on your list. Oh, I’m sure he knew his stuff. He had the enthusiasm. He had the knowledge. He just had absolutely no control over the classroom. That happens with really young teachers. Most of my memories of that class are of my classmates just yelling and laughing and doing whatever they wanted. I have this image ingrained in my memory of him zoning out with the most dejected look on his face after failing to get us to care about The Catcher in the Rye. The only other memory I have about what we read in that class was Nathanial Hawthorne’s The Minister’s Black Veil. That was a pain for us to go through - a short story but a long haul. Not long after we graduated, he got kicked out of the school after the administration discovered a picture of him smoking pot on Facebook. I joined the sci-fi/fantasy club right away as a freshman in high school. I joined at the right time because they were considering making their very first literary magazine. I think around my junior year was when they got serious about it and I submitted a story to be published. It was then that I realized how bad my writing was. The moderator loved my story but, with a straight face, he looked at me and asked, “Is English your second-language? The writing is very bad.” Up until then, I had never felt so embarrassed in an academic setting in my entire life. He legit thought I must have been from another country because my grammar was all over the place. But the honest truth was that I just had really bad English teachers.

There was really only one genuinely good English class I had, and that was AP English Language and Composition in my senior year of high school. I finally learned how to “really” write, with flavor and wit. The road to get there though was really rocky, and the teacher gave us some very difficult assignments. The worst assignment I ever wrote was also my second most embarrassing moment as a writer. The paper required us to nitpick George Orwell’s choice of words in an essay he wrote. We had to somehow dish out a 10-paged paper on why Orwell chose the words he did in his essay. It was the weirdest and most obscure paper I ever wrote. I fucking bombed that essay, and everyone else did too, so the teacher gave us all the chance to rewrite it. I still have that paper in my drawer with my teacher’s glaring comment in red ink that reads, “Your thesis borders on sarcasm.” It stung when I read that for the first time. But I think it took that one terrible awful paper to get me to finally learn how to write a paper. I learned so much in that class. That teacher was direct, no-nonsense, and told you exactly what you needed to do. People were afraid of him, but I thought, “Damn, I wish you were always my English teacher.” Before graduating, I gave my favorite teachers a copy of my story at the time on CD (that’s how long ago this was). I never heard back from any of them. I didn’t really expect them to. They were teachers after all, and teachers are very busy. Looking back now I cringe at the story I gave them, because what I thought was a masterpiece back then was really very rough and unpolished. 

My parents learned English as a second-language and were on a different wavelength about things. I was excited to show them my story called “The Drifters”, a sci-fi adventure that I was maturing since 8th grade that involved political satire about the current state of affairs. They immediately rejected it, fearing that I would draw ire from people and the government. I saw where they were coming from though. They hailed from countries that suffered years of political turmoil. Being that I was becoming a writer in the time of the Patriot Act, they firmly told me not to write about “those things”. 

I felt very uncomfortable showing them anything else after that. With little direction or motivation at school and an elephant in the room at home, I did what any artist does in the modern age - I retreated to the Internet. There, I learned more about writing than I ever did in school, and learned how to critique a work of fiction and discuss with writers.

Of course, as the Internet grew, so did all the bad things that came with it. You can get lost in many arguments that spiral out of control. Someone’s critique can border more on shaming you than genuine constructive criticism. You try to retaliate. They pick at something dumb you said, so now you look like the bigger idiot. It all goes to shit.  The third and last most embarrassing moment I ever had as a writer happened online. I used to be part of Young Writers Online (YWO). The site is now defunct and scrubbed, but man there were some embarrassing posts from me.

There was a period of time where I was paranoid about my ideas being stolen, or that I had wasted so much time that other people out there would publish a similar idea before I could. I imagined that when my story would finally be published, readers would compare me to someone else, when in reality I developed my ideas years earlier. It was my worst fear as a writer. Any time a major Hollywood movie or TV show had a similar idea to something I wrote, I panicked. I always posted about these feelings on the writing forum. A certain someone on the writing forum clashed heads with me whenever I expressed my anxiety. He was my most fervent critic. I once read an issue of Science Fiction & Fantasy. I bought their issues at the time to really get a feel for what kind of stories get accepted into magazines. I had already submitted stories that got rejected. One of them was called “Janus in Space”, which was set in my fictional world of “Space Hotel”. I then came across a sci-fi story in the magazine called “Mars Hotel” that was eerily similar to my story “Janus in Space”, which I had also posted online in YWO.   The parallels were staggering. Topps was the name of my hotel’s maid, and she was written off at the time as a young android who was a bit of an airhead, and she hummed a lot because of a mechanical error. The maid in Mars Hotel was also a young android and also had a mechanical error that caused her to say things incorrectly. Both hotels had a creaky pulley elevator that everyone complained about and wondered why they had it if turbolifts existed. Both had clerks who hated their job and an absent-minded boss. The tone was also humorous and witty and used modern curse words, much like my world of “Space Hotel”. This freaked the fuck out of me. So, I went out of my way to contact the magazine and show my evidence.  I posted about this in YWO too. That same critic once again lambasted me saying it was my imagination and I was making a fool of myself. Then one day, the writer of “Mars Hotel” created an account to respond to my comment. They explained the situation and assured me that they never came across my story on YWO, that it was an original idea, and wished me well.  I had reached peak embarrassment as a writer.  “It doesn’t matter who is original. What matters is who does it best.” That was what my most fervent critic told me, and kept driving it into me.

Alright. I learned to live with it. 

A couple years later, that same critic posted on YWO complaining about how Interstellar had a similar idea he was working on, and he didn’t feel like he could write his story anymore. Well...                                                                #

I think as I got older I learned more and more not to share much with anyone. There’s no real use to it. You’ll only complicate things. They say that the biggest regret people have on their deathbed is not having had the courage to say what they wanted to say. I did that for most of my youth and it only got myself into trouble and awkward situations. I don’t recommend it. When I die, I will say that I wish I had kept the peace. Also, people don’t have the time to read your work anyway. Every writer knows this.  “Hey, I can read your story!”   “Oh cool! Let me know what you think in like a month if that’s okay?”  “Yeah sure!”  And that’s the end of that there.  You never hear from them ever again.  Not your friends, not even your significant others or your spouse. Everybody’s got something they need to do nowadays, even you.

You get stuck in a dead-end job doing your writing. You tell yourself you’re going to make it big one day, but every other day you have to do something else. Obligations, emergencies, the struggle to keep it together in the Middle Class. You try really hard to find time to write but someone out there gets mad that you’re not focusing on them, like your friend or your significant other. The second you have time to sit and write, something happens. Something always happens. There’s always a thing you have to do or a thing you have to attend. Then there’s money that you need to make in order to fucking live. Every week you find yourself thinking, “This week was crazy but the next week should be clear. I should get back on track next week. Yeah.”  And then the moment you express an ounce of needing alone time suddenly you’re the bad guy. Suddenly it’s, “Well, Eddie, think of all the other people who have had it worse” or my favorite is “You just need to budget your time better” - coming from some guy on YouTube who went to Harvard and whose parents paid everything off and who is now telling you how you can do anything by simply blocking your time differently. 

As if you have nothing else in life to do that is currently on fire. 

I have come full circle as a writer. 

The happy giddy kid has long disappeared, and I have embraced the stoic and reclusive hermit.  Being a writer is lonesome because it’s something so introspective that I don’t think your friends or family will really understand it. You can have your deepest, darkest secrets laid out in a mosaic across your entire story and those closest to you won’t even blink an eye. Other times you don’t want to write a metaphor about anything, and you just have a cool idea you need to dish out. Then that’s when those same people are convinced that THIS is the story that means something to you when it doesn’t. They’d be like, “Oh my God, are you okay? Wait is this character me? Does that mean you hate me?” NO. It’s literally just a story about a talking donkey wearing a hat. If you ask me that again I swear I will call the police. Being a writer is lonesome because it’s all in your head, even when you show people your words. Why do we do it anyway when it gets adapted into a Netflix show before you can even finish the series? Why do we do it when there are so many artists and animators now?  The thing I find unique about being a writer is that nobody will really know or “see” how you imagine the story the way you do. You may have your tale adapted on screen or illustrated, but when you die that world truly dies with you. You can never translate something 100%. Nobody else will ever fully experience how your characters walk, talk, and exist. Nobody else will know its secrets that you consider canon but dare not tell anyone. Nobody else will fully understand how the buildings in your towns and cities look, their exact angles and shapes. Nobody else will fully imagine the sounds everyone and everything makes. And the vibe. Nobody will get the vibe like you do. Even when I finish a draft and one day publish it and consider it “finished”, it will never fully convey how I saw the story in my head. Every person who will read it will have their own vision. I think that is why we write. One story becomes a thousand different tales, a thousand different interpretations. We discuss the intended and the unintended. And that’s really just art in general. When I die, so will all my worlds and all my characters. Thousands of worlds and millions of characters, lost in time. Entire cultures and histories. They will never be realized like how I realized them. It sounds lonely and sad but there’s also solace in it. It’s sacred. Everything will die with me in private. 

#onwriting #writing #writingcommunity #reading #teaching #school #schooling #english #english class #life

[simbagos]

Lately weird things have been happening to me. bizarre weird, improbable weird. mainly just really random

for these past few months i have been picking what to study and where to go. So, in like april, i decided to ask a guy, "Alex" if he could guide me a little, because he was doing a course i was interested in

so, in april Alex and i organised ourselves to go out and talk about the course. but for some reason we decide to hang out while he was cutting his hair ??? but , when the day came, i met him at the barber's and he tells me he cannot cut his hair because his neighbour passed away, so i obviously offer to hang out another time, and he says no. and then starts on a tangent about how he is stoic and he has to accept it, etc, and just really random things (but i appreciated it). then, for like 2h30 hours we talk (i say we, but he did 90% of the talking) about the course.

and let me tell you, i have never *ever* seen somebody talk with such passion. like anytime i would ask him something he would be saying how great it is, how fulfilling, how lovely, how happy he is, etc...

so, after this "date" (for lack of a word) we part our ways and i tell him i'll contact him when i get my results.

2 months pass

i finally know where i am accepted

and bang ! i'm accepted in the exact same school, for the exact same course (really rare), but i was also accepted in other schools

i immediately send him a message on my broken phone, and i am ecstatic, because i have had time to think, and i decided i wanted to do that course, even if not at that school

Alex answers back, congratulates me, and tells me that now i have to pick a school... to try to encourage me, Ethan puts me in contact with his favourite professor via email. and i contact him ??? anyways he is really nice, but the point is i have already talked to my future teacher and it's just weird

finally, i choose to attend the same school ! and at this point, alex is really happy, because -like i said- he had been encouraging me to go (btw we had talked a fair amount by messages and even had a few phone calls). on top of that, somebody in my class will also go to the school, albeit in a different course, let's call him "Ethan"

so now, next year, three of us are going to that school

Ethan and i have never been really close friends, but we've been classmates for like 6 years. so we decide to go visit the school together and hunt for appartments. we find one, and decide to share it (????)

if you would have told me last year that i would be sharing an appartment with Ethan... i would have never have believed you, as would have nobody. but oh well, it's another of the weird things that have happened within the past month

so, back to Alex, since we are doing the same thing, and he is a year older, we decide to hang out so he can tell me what to read and in what order, specifically the philosophy books, because it is an important part of the course

you see, one of the reasons i picked this course is because a) it fits me quite well b) my philosophy teacher ("M B) heavily encouraged me to do it. consequently, he told me that he would recommend books to read this summer, and just all in all give me advice...

back to Alex, 2 days ago we hang out for the books, but 2 days ago was also the day i received my bac results.. so i got the results at 10 am, and by 11am, i meet Alex at the public library to discuss the books (we talk outside). and we somehow spend 2h30 hours talking (i srs don't know how we do a 20 min thing in more than 2hours) about books, mainly, we occasionally mention other things -like Ethan-

But bc Alex is french, he gets hungry by 12h30, and bc he is organised, he brings food. but oh ! bad luck ! he forgot a fork... so i legit accompany him to buy cutlery at the shop opposite, and since i'm a little hungry, i buy fruit for myself. (all of this is really random, and i cannot comprehend how the weirdest things always happen with him). after the little shopping expedition, we come back and eat. he was eating some korean dish, bc his mother is korean (it was really good)

once he finishes eating, we go back to the library, talk for about 5 minutes about my bac results, and then i leave bc i need to eat lol

but before we leave, we agree that we should see each other this week *with* the philosophy teacher to talk about the course next year

then, this afternoon, i receive a message asking if i am free tomorrow. to which i promptly reply "yes". we decide we'll hang out somewhere in the centre and then.. Alex tells me the meeting place is in the philosophy teacher's house !!!

like wtf

so in conclusion tomorrow i am hanging out with Alex and my ex-philosophy teacher at the teacher's place... and i genuinely don't know how long it will take, nor how the fuck i got myself into this mess in the first place

#thanks to anyone he is reading this #my life is quite boring #but anytime alex is involved #it just really goes nuts #simbagos irl #simbagos emotions #alex and the philosophy teacher #i forgot to mention these 2 adore each other #like a grandfather-grandson relation #lol they talk about philosophy #now i'm going to enter the circle lol #really wtf #i really also don't comprehen how we talk so long #the times we haved talked shouldn't have been for more than 1 hour.. #but i do like it lol

[cloudbatcave]

Bought indigo disk let’s g - hey who is this cool looking new teacher I want her outfit

Ms. Briar, cool

“Getting to take part in a school trip so soon after transferring here” I beat the elite four, sir

“Blueberry academy” I named one of my pet fish that as a kid. He died from a swollen eye.

Oh we’re going to the Me region (Unova) - no okay Kitakami is elsewhere

Oh you wanna look around the crater yeah haha about that - you know what never mind I don’t wanna be deported to Poké Area 51

Yeah even Jacqs knows this is a hard sell and changes the subject.

“I already cleared things with your mom” thanks bro literally wasn’t even on my mind (it probably should be)

“I hope you don’t mind flying. Or long bus rides.” You don’t want to know how long my bus rides to college back and forth were, ma’am.

Oooh her ancestor wrote the violet book? Isn’t that something.

Man now I feel bad she probably won’t be able to get into the crater, she seems legit.

What? Okay I guess this IS teal mask, the Nintendo store told me I couldn’t purchase it…whatever.

I can be trusted to run ahead to the town and help my sick classmate [immediately runs off to pick up shit off the ground and catch a Sewaddle]

Me catching multiple more Pokémon and getting into a battle: he’s fine. Just give him a salt tablet.

Girl I challenged is scared by me being from Paldea. Curious.

Sorry for slaughtering your surskit, ma’am. And your chingling.

“This is the Paldean style of battle, huh?”

It’s called “fuck shit up sandwich style.”

Oh it’s the siblings, neat.

“If you insist on coming in, you’ll have to battle me first.”

Hey buddy I have a sick classmate to help! I don’t have time to fuck around even more!! How dare you. (Cloud bullshitted every word so as to avoid blame later)

Lmao her brother immediately calls her out, I love it.

Oh wow, a Poochyena, I’m really intimidated by you telling me to eat dirt. Quaking in my boots, here.

Close combat! And you’re dead.

“You know about type matchups, huh?”

I was not born fucking yesterday, girliepop.

“Do you not know about type matchups”

Girl I have never seen your sapient cup of chai in my life and don’t know its types from Adam. Now shut your face before I superglue your teeth together.

“You…Who ARE you?”

I fucked your mother last night!

“Wowzers! You went and beat my sis?”

And I used all of one Pokémon to do it.

Carmine talking like she has any power still. Nice try. Move before I end your miserable fucking life.

“I hope those two kids weren’t giving you any grief just now…were they?”

I’ve met mosquitos who had a more lasting impact on my existence, so no.

“It’s a pleasure to meet all you outsiders”

Knock you off the nearest cliff without anyone knowing I did it at the earliest opportunity, got it.

I get a selfie stick, fucking amazing.

“You want to pair up with one of us poor, lonely Blueberry students?”

Want is such a strong word.

God she’s so passive aggressive. Girl can you quit it.

Sure, I’ll battle poor Kieran. I wish I could let him win to spite Carmine.

Oh well.

Red alert, Carmine has complimented her brother’s battling skill and I don’t fucking trust it.

“I’ll just follow you from a safe distance” poor kid.

Oh boy, I get to be an exchange student? Wait actually I know nothing about this Blueberry place.

Okay even Clavell agrees I should meet the director of it to see what’s up.

Hisuian Growlithe??? What are you doing here?

I like Perrin.

“Are you always this open with total strangers?”

I have six pets who can commit murder, I’m Gucci. And you’re just taking my photo.

Oh god. Rich people.

“Will you duel me for riches beyond your wildest imagination?”

I’ll duel you for the sweet satisfaction of crushing you, blondie.

One Persian? That’s it? Pathetic.

“Spend that reward on something meaningful.”

Setting it on fire as we speak!

#cloud plays teal mask #oh commentary posts I've missed you so

[inazuma-fulgur]

One thing I love about Tumblr that I've always missed, whichs lack I have hated about other social media ever since I made my first socials account on insta when I was 14/15 isnthe ability to be invisible

I didn't like being found by classmates, I didn't want my sister to follow me and I never let her

Heck sometimes it is even good to have a space separat from friends. Cuz I felt caged, if there are things I wasn't comfortable expressing with them or had to work through and think about before wanting them to know I needed another space, somewhere where I was more removed and I felt safe from judgement. Where I could be stupid and silly and maybe even a bad person.

Because I didn't want my friends to think badly of me ofc, but I also needed to explore new or taboo topics

Generally I also always hated the idea that all my classmates needed to be my friends, maybe that would've been different if I was part of the dominant group and not the bullied, but I wasn't. And teachers rarely watched out for students, put effort into making everything safer.

Legit I didn't like her much until later shortly when she left school but I am grateful for my head teacher, we had some program going on and were told to all line up depending on how comfortable we were. I was one of two kids who was getting bullied, almost everyone stood to the right wall in a huge crowd, the other bullied chose more the middle, kept a little distance but didn't commit. I chose the other wall.

That day our teacher made our classmates feel really really shitty about themselves, I didn't have many friends still afterwards but everyone apologized to me personally and thinks got much better.

Also I made the experience that if you get bullied you really badly want to look for someone weaker than you, because you're getting stripped of all other forms of empowerment. And this is the way you socially get taught how to empower yourself.

This is also a problem related to the fact how teaching is supposed to work, where students are getting heavily discouraged, not just because of grades and bad evaluation systems, but also because of the way teachers make their own experiences in school (as they succeed in the shitty system) and how they are later taught to teach at universities.

I do be hating universities, and not because I hate education

[jocelynships]

No offense but I’m really tired of being depressed all the time

#i haven’t been doing well since christmas #i think its bc im back in this stupid fucking town #i hate it here #and i’m like... tired of school #i should have been done by now but no it’s taking me an extra year to get everything done #and i’m sick of it #if i didn’t have to meet up with a classmate for a school project i would probably stay home tomorrow #but also i don’t want to use up my abscences at once #i love the class and he teacher but i feel so damn out of place #i just constantly feel out of place and i hate it #i’m afraid i’m never gonna find where i ‘belong’ #i legit feel like a fucking alien from space #idk how else to explain it #i know that’s a weird as fuck thing to say but it’s the only way i can put it into words

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #my post #mp100 headcanons #welcome to my hc #asd #autism #actually autistic #kageyama shigeo #mob #mp100 meta #Japanese society #japanese culture #meta #mp100 analysis

[absolutepokemontrash]

Kid!MC/Teen!MC Needs someone to go to Parent Teacher Interviews for Them and Guess Who’s Available?

Masterlist

The brothers being bad babysitters/dad figures is something I love very much, I bet you all could already tell that considering the Fic/Headcanon series I have going on. I would just like you all to know that Asmo’s section is based on a true story. Anyhoo~ onto the Headcanons!

Why? Why Him? (Lucifer)

Is MC really dumb, or are they just a kid? No one knows.

Obviously MC asked Lucifer, the only competent one in the house, the most professional, hard-working, controlled-

MC got their things together and gave Lucifer the run down on their teacher(s) before Lucifer got too absorbed in extolling his own virtues in an intense internal monologue.

News flash Lucifer, this isn’t a Shakespeare play, you can’t have a dramatic monologue or soliloquy about how great you think you are

At the actual meeting, if MC is in there, no, MC is not actually in there. Lucifer will speak to the teacher as if MC isn’t there. As someone whose not a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down kind of person, Lucifer expects the teacher to behave the same and not spare MC’s feelings.

Feelings do not deserve to be spared if MC is being a nuisance. No fake-kid/little sibling of his gets to be the class idiot!

If MC’s doing very well academically, he expects to be pointed at projects or tests they’ve done and the grade on it. It really makes him proud to see MC doing well.

Even if they’re not the best academically, if they’re not failing and they’re doing well in other aspects of school, he’s proud.

If MC really struggles in a school environment and just hates it there but they’re still keeping their head above water, they get a head pat of approval.

On the drive home, if MC came with him to the parent teacher interviews and everything went well, he just happens to turn onto the street that has a Baskin Robin’s or something of that caliber.

If they didn’t go, he picks something up on the way back.

No fun treats if MC is being a disruptive little heathen in class, no kid under Lucifer’s care is going to be the class Mammon. Not on his watch.

MC was busily stuffed their face with the treats that were gifted to them. Lucifer had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the kid’s blatant disregard for basic table manners when it came to sweets.

“Is everything the teacher said true?” Lucifer asked, MC looked up at him with a smile.

“Yep!”

“Good, good.” Lucifer held out his hand and patted them on the head. “You’re doing well. Keep it up.”

“Geez,” MC mumbled as they continued to stuff their face. “Can you get anymore affectionate?”

“Don’t be sarcastic, MC. It’s uncouth.” Lucifer said sternly. “Besides, I’ll have you know that many people enjoy my headpats. I’m quite affectionate.”

“Really now? Name one person.”

Lucifer opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He and MC stared each other down, one pair of eyes much more nervous than the other. Spoiler, MC was still calmly eating their treat as they maintained eye contact.

“…Cerberus.”

“If you’re reaching for Cerberus, you’ve already lost.”

…his pride was under attack. Right in front of his desert…

“You’re grounded.”

“Worth it.”

*Rides by on a Skateboard* School is for NERDS (Mammon)

Pff! Stupid human! He’s not goin’ to some lame parent teacher conference-

Wait! What’s with that face?! Ugh… fine. MC’s gone and forced his hand with those damn puppy dog eyes…

Mammon does not dress up for this event, he dresses like he would every day, maybe throw on some designer stuff to let all the parents and teachers know he’s hot shit.

If MC goes with him, he pulls up in his beloved car and takes up two parking spaces (pure evil.). Every parent present already hates him, but at least the other kids there are impressed with MC’s sweet ride. MC would have gained some street cred if Mammon hadn’t managed to trip up the stairs to the classroom in front of everyone.

He’ll act way to casual with the teacher, turning the parent chair backwards and sitting down so he can lean on the seat.

Mammon gets bored crazy quickly while the teacher lists and explains all the stuff the class is learning, so his eyes begin to wander to any and all displays in the classroom. Projects, annoying posters, class pet, anything is more interesting than this teacher’s explanation.

When MC finally becomes the main topic of the interview, he’s all ears. MC’s doing great in school academically? Ha! Nerd! Maybe giving MC a playful noogie and interrupting the whole interview wasn’t a good idea, but whatever.

If MC’s failing anything, or just isn’t that gifted when it comes to grades, it’s very much a “Aw man me too” from Mammon.

This teacher is speaking with the Great Mammon, the first demon in RAD’s history to fail three semesters in a row. If this teacher thinks bad grades will phase him, they’re dead wrong.

Grades don’t mean anythin’ about smarts anyway! I mean, look at him! He’s a fuckin’ genius but he can’t get through a history test without sobbing even though he LIVED THROUGH MOST OF IT.

MC gets treats no matter what’s up in class. Though, if MC didn’t go with him, he’s likely to forget and just order something for the two of them when he gets back home.

“Goddamn teachers and their rambling!” Mammon whined, grabbing a slice of pizza from the open box on his coffee table. “You owe me, MC! Ya really do!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” MC said, they leaned over and rolled a pizza slice into a pizza-scroll then proceeded to eat it like a veggie roll. “How do you think I feel, listening to them every day? You know how long it takes to get to the actual class material?”

“Five years?”

“Ugh! Five years if I’m lucky! I swear, I know more about my teacher’s grievances with like… five of my classmates than I do about trigonometry, and guess which one’s on the test next week?”

Mammon winced in sympathy, then remembered he was supposed to be whining and went back to it. “School’s shit and a waste of money, ya should drop out as soon as you can and help me run my new business.”

“You mean your pyramid scheme?”

“It’s not a pyramid scheme, MC! It’s legit! It’s a multi-tiered marketing-”

“It’s a pyramid scheme.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL INTERACTION (Leviathan)

Everyone else must have been sick or something for MC to have asked Levi. He’d flat out refuse to go otherwise.

So, Levi couldn’t exactly go to the interview in his usual “I haven’t left my room or changed clothes in eight weeks” look. With the help of MC, he was able to find his military uniform at the back of his closet.

Asmo nearly fainted when he saw Levi in the uniform, not because “oooo, a man in uniform~”, it was because the outfit was so crumpled and wrinkled that it made it physically painful to look at. No time to iron and wash, the conference was in an hour!

Levi (and MC if they went with) rolled up to the school in a less than impressive ride, but one look at the uniform and all the other people present went “yep, time to be respectful (tm)”

For the first time in his life Levi was more intimidating than Lucifer! And he wasn’t even trying!

When the teacher starts explaining the course material, Levi spaces off in horror as he realizes he remembers literally nothing from school (AND HE’S STILL IN SCHOOL!) all that’s running through his head is “A squared + B squared = C squared” and “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”.

The actual interview was the least interesting part of the trip, the real stuff happened when Levi passed by some art on display in the hallway and something caught his eye-

Those colours… that hair… that adorable smile..!

IT WAS HER! LEVI’S PRECIOUS RURI-CHAN IN ALL HER GLORY!

Levi immediately started fawning over the art class fanart and by sheer coincidence, one of the kids walking through the hallway happened to notice.

The kid asked MC if their… parent and or guardian liked anime. MC responded with “obviously.” Levi then asked the kid if they drew his adorable Ruri-chan. The kid said no, and that they drew the My Hero Academia fanart a few rows down.

Levi was absolutely floored that there were two anime fans in one class, then his entire world shattered when MC explained there was more anime art inside the art room and other classrooms.

H-hang on… did that mean that… a lot of people here… liked anime..?

Levi needed a while to process. No snacks on the way home…

Levi and MC were sat in the back of their Uber, Levi, the Avatar of Envy himself, was having his entire sense of reality warped. S-so much anime fanart… in a school of all places..! What did this mean for the future of anime?!

“Levi. Stop.” MC sighed. “If this were an anime, the camera angle would be doing that thing where it’s right on the bridge of your nose and dramatic music plays in the background.”

“S-so many kids in your class like a-anime huh..?” Levi stuttered, weakly trying to smile. “Must be nice..?”

“Oh, that’s just my class. The other classes and grades have their fans too.”

“Oh… really?”

“Levi,” MC stopped looking out the window and looked at the otaku that was having a full scale silent mental breakdown. “Anime isn’t even a niche interest anymore. It’s a pretty casual thing to watch now. At least a third of my class watches- Levi?”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ANIME! A THIRD OF THE CLASS?! ANIME… HIS PRECIOUS ANIME… WAS BECOMING A NORMIE INTEREST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“Levi?” MC waved their hand in front of their spaced out demon’s face. “Leviiiii? Okay he’s dead.”

The Know it All (Satan)

Ah, a smart choice, MC. Satan would be glad to help further their education. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that the human’s brain is fed all that sweet sweet knowledge.

Satan can’t dress himself normally, MC had to coax him into a suit jacket, but he still only wore one sleeve.

MC was coming along to the interviews whether they wanted to or not, it’s important to hear what they need to improve on from the teacher themselves after all.

The two arrived pretty early, so Satan asked MC for a tour of the school. It was pretty tame until they reached the library. Satan was horrified at the state of some of the books…

Their spines lined with duct tape… pages missing and torn… someone apparently used a taco as a book mark…

The first thing Satan does when it’s time for his interview is demand the teacher take better care of the library, even though they’re not the librarian. MC tries to explain this, but Satan is too distraught to listen to reason.

He enjoyed hearing about the course material, but he made it known if MC thinks the assignments are too easy that they need to be given more challenging work. THEIR BRAIN NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED DAMN IT.

It was up to MC to either agree with Satan and nod to the teacher, or make frantic eye contact with them to try and communicate “NO DON’T PLEASE”.

Similar to (ugh) Lucifer, as long as MC is doing their best, he’s happy for them.

…but if they are in any way in the running for valedictorian he is HELPING THEM WIN.

He decided to stop at a cafe or bookstore to let MC pick out a “congrats on surviving your pitiful school” present after the interviews.

MC gleefully perused the shelves of the bookstore, there were so many books too look at…

“I’ll buy you as many books as you’d like, MC, just,” Satan shuddered slightly. “Promise me you won’t treat them like those poor library books…”

MC put their hand over their heart. “I swear on the duct taped book spines that I will never treat a book like that.”

“Good… good…” Satan breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking at his book about cats.

“Are you… reading a Warrior Cats book..?” MC asked tentatively.

“Yes, why?”

“Satan, put that back.”

“I Will Seduce the Teacher For the Sake of Your Grades, Don’t Worry.” (Asmodeus)

Oh MC dear! He’d be delighted to go! Just let him get ready~

Asmo may not be the best choice, but he was at least going to be the best dressed person at that conference. (And MC just had to come too so all the other parents could be jealous of how well coordinated their outfits are)

He teased MC a little by saying he was going to flirt with their teacher to make sure they passed the class, but he was just kidding! …but he made sure to ask if their teacher was cute, he needed to know!

While waiting for his turn, Asmo flirts with some of the single parents, if he doesn’t see a wedding ring, they’re fair game.

Once his time slot arrived, MC realized that Asmo is one of those “my child has done and will do nothing wrong ever” types. This may have ended up working in MC’s favour if they were a class nuisance.

If MC is doing very well in sports, clubs, grades, anything, Asmo is fawning over them and gushing to the teacher about how great, smart and adorable they are.

Asmo surprisingly does not exactly flirt with the teacher, he was just teasing MC after all. But um… if MC’s teacher just happens to be cute and young, he may turn up the charm, just a little. Enough to make the teacher giggle and make MC cover their face in embarrassment.

After the interviews Asmo will probably schedule a nice day out for the two of them, shopping, a movie, mani pedis, something fun!

The real weird stuff happens in the months after the interviews… if Asmo did lightly flirt with the teacher, MC gets quite a few questions about their guardian. Questions that ask if Asmo is single in not as many words…

Oh lord, MC’s teacher developed a crush on Asmo.

Nail painting night was supposed to be a fun occasion, but MC was hopping mad and embarrassed. Asmo didn’t seem to notice as he continued to paint the little human’s nails.

“And then I told Phenex to get lost. The nerve of that little monster, right MC?” When MC didn’t reply, Asmo looked up and tilted his head. “MC?”

MC’s angry face would have been much more threatening if they weren’t just so adorable, but it was getting the message across.

“MC..?”

“Asmo.” MC’s glare deepened. “My teacher wants to know if you’re single.”

Asmo blinked a few times, before he hit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Really now~. I knew they’d be madly in love with me-”

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS?!”

Oh My Demon King is That a BAKE SALE?! (Beel)

Of course Beel said yes! He’d gladly go to MC’s parent teacher interview!

He even put on a nice outfit :D he ended up looking a bit like a secret serviceman guarding MC, the tiny president.

Beel stopped for McDonald’s on the way there, all the other kids were so jealous of MC when they stepped out of the car eating fries.

But a little something something caught Beel’s eye when he and MC walked into the school… was that a… bake sale?

MC quickly explained that the bake sale was fundraiser for their class trip that year and the snacks weren’t complimentary. He had to pay.

And pay Beel did. He cleared out the entire table. MC’s grade’s overnight trip was going to be decadent as hell. That was no longer a crowd funded thing, that trip was privately funded by a tall buff ginger secret service member and this tiny in comparison child.

Kids are incredibly blunt, just like Beel, so when a random kindergarten kid wandered over, looked up at Beel, and very knowingly said “you’re very tall”. Beel was like “yeah”. The kid then said “what’s it like being that tall?”

Beel’s response to this kid’s question was to pick them up and hold them for a few seconds before placing them back down. For just a few moments this kid knew what it like to be over 6’4. Of course, more kids swarmed in and asked to be picked up.

Sure it was cute, but Beel now has an army of kids ranging from kindergarteners to third graders.

Finally, the conference actually began. Beel snacked the entire time and dutifully listened to everything the teacher had to say.

After the interviews are over, he checks with MC to make sure everything the teacher said was true and that they weren’t lying. If all was well, the two made their exit.

They stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.

“I’m so full…” MC groaned, Beel held up a massive cookie.

“So I can eat this?”

“No. Gimme that.” MC took a very defeated bite out of it. “My stomach says no but my mouth says yes…”

“I don’t want you to get a stomachache, MC,” Beel said worriedly. “No more snacks.”

“It’s a little late for that. It’s past nine and I’m still eating, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep at a reasonable hour.”

“Oh…” Beel mumbled. “I may have not completely thought this through.”

“*Snore* Huh? Wha? MC’s Grades? Uh… Fuck…” (Belphie)

MC must be failing a class or something because why on earth would they pick Belphie otherwise.

They ask him to go while he’s delirious from just waking up from a nap, he sort of half nods and mumbles some gibberish before going back to sleep.

MC had to basically carry his ass to the school. Belphie drooled all over them in the waiting room, and when it was their time to go into the interview, Belphie had to be manually put into the chair and slapped awake.

He barely listens, he just sits and nods along with whatever the teacher is saying. The teacher could say MC brought an alligator to school and he’d just go “uh huh…” “mmmph… yep…” “really now?” then yawn.

The only thing that could possibly get Belphie to be interested is if MC is studying space. If they are, than boy howdy is Belphie suddenly interested in their education.

Other than that? *snore*

If MC is in fact failing or doing poorly, MC’s teacher asks to see another one of MC’s guardians at a later date. Their plan failed miserably.

MC drags Belphie out of the school and yells at him for not helping them. Belphie, still sleep delirious, tries to press the snooze button. MC does not have a snooze button.

“Belphie!” MC shouted, shaking the Avatar of Sloth awake. The House of Lamentation’s resident bastard was somehow sleeping standing up outside. “HOW COULD YOU?!”

“Eh?” Belphie half-snorted and looked around confused. “What’d I do? Where are we?”

“At my school! You said that you’d go to my parent teacher interviews!”

“…MC I don’t think I’d pass well for you.”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO AS MY GUARDIAN!”

“Sheesh,” Belphie murmured while he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. “You humans are so noisy.”

MC looked up at their dearest demon friend, and gave him their best glare. “I’m going to take all your fancy temperature changing pillows and switch them with normal pillows you traitorous bastard.”

#obey me #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me! headcanons #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me! Lucifer #OM! Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me! Mammon #om! Mammon #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me! Leviathan #om! Leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me! Satan #OM! Satan #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me! Asmodeus #Om! Asmodeus #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me! Beelzebub #Om! Beelzebub #Obey me Belphegor #Obey me! Belphegor #Om! Belphegor #Obey me MC #Obey me! MC

[austajunk]

Hey heey! :) could you possibly do a Toko analysis if your up for it?

Yup. Sure can. Let’s get into it! I have a lot to say about this character and it took me while to piece my thoughts about her. So thanks to my good friend, @herbsburb, who helped me form it into words. She’s the biggest Toko nerd I know.

Slight note, because I have a lot to say on Toko in general, I’m going to cover my thoughts on her in THH here. If people want me to talk about her development in UDG and relationship with Komaru in particular, just lemme know. ^^

In my first playthrough, I really found Toko to be brilliantly cathartic and just all around… weird and menacing in a way. It wasn’t hard to see (at least for me) from her first introduction that she was this very guarded character who generally uses snide insults and remarks to put up a shield between herself and the world. But that being said, she wasn’t a quiet character who stayed in the corner and had nothing to say. Instead as you progress through the story, she’s a really messed up individual with another personality who is a serial killer (one she can’t control at first), depressed, pitiful, put out, and really… really horny and repressed. In a way, I spent a good majority of my playthroughs kinda vicariously living through her. Every insult that Toko said… like, I can’t say I didn’t want to say them to classmates or coworkers in my life. XD

I think a lot of people take Makoto’s role in her character development for granted though. Like I said to my friend yesterday, Toko’s relationship with Makoto crawled so that Tokomaru could run. The situation of the Makoto and Toko friendship feels similar to that of V3 characters with Miu Iruma. Like… if they were in a normal setting, I don’t think Makoto would “risk” being friends and socializing with Toko (which Toko is pretty aware of given how her first free times are her testing his knowledge of her). But good news, Makoto was literally locked in a school with Toko and has to interact with her and that’s a great point of change for her character. The thing is, Makoto is just endlessly good and patient. I think it’s because he knows he’s this normal character archetype (he even jokes about it) in a pool of talented weirdos. And even better, Makoto does genuinely seem to respect Toko’s writing enough to recall it and shock her to the core.

Now, this must have been a lot for Toko to handle. The only friend she ever had before who may have known things about her (aside from a teacher who pushed her to write) was a boy who actually despised her and later ridiculed her and her love letter she wrote to him. In their first free time, Toko is already guarded and ready to be dismissed. She is with everyone. Her comments usually end in off-handed remarks that she will ultimately be discarded. This sour demeanor earns her everyone’s attention off of her so that she doesn’t have to put herself out there to reach others for friendship. But Makoto’s patience, though subtle, does reach Toko in a big way. I don’t think Toko could have ever accepted Komaru without Makoto’s work in buttering her up and inspiring her with his belief in his classmates. At some point, I do think that Makoto really made Toko see her complacency and how nothing was moving for her, even inspiring her to write again by the end of the first game and to quietly mutter her subtle “fondness” for the other survivors.

Also, fun fact… during my first playthrough of the second chapter of THH, I legit thought that Toko knocked on Makoto’s door and dragged him to the library in order to ask him to be her accomplice in killing Byakuya. XD Alas… that was not that case. But already, I think Toko trusts Makoto (because he’s fucking normal and friend-shaped) to allow him to be her sort of wingman and just stand there while she gapes at Byakuya… which brings me to her “relationship” with Byakuya.

I’d compare Toko’s feelings for Byakuya one to one with Kazuichi’s fantasies of Sonia. Deep down, I just don’t think that Toko likes Byakuya personality-wise or even knows that much about him. Like… during Chapter 2’s trial, it’s clear that she makes up full on conversations between her and Byakuya that never happened. Once Byakuya heartlessly betrays her trust and spills her secret about Syo to everyone, she even has what I feel is a Freudian slip and proclaims that she hates him. But I do think it snapped in place for Toko that if Byakuya hates her and is awful to her, she can rather freely sexually fantasize about him without having to put in any work to form any real connection (again, much like how I see Kazuichi’s “attraction” to Sonia). That, coupled with her penchant towards trashy romance pulp has her build up this sexy romantic rich lead in her head that she can play around with in the most detailed and hilarious fantasies I have ever seen (seriously, they’re my favorite things in UDG).

But even leaving her progress that has been made at the end of the first game with Toko making some loose connections with the other survivors, we have a long way to go in her character development. I think the biggest weakness in THH was where to distribute character focus for some of the side characters and that really showed with Toko. If you aren’t interested in her free times, you tend to miss a great deal of how deep her character is and what she’s going through. I think it was even admitted that while Toko represented what Danganronpa was to Kodaka (her being the Queen of Duality in his mind), the writers struggled to figure out what to do with her character at times. I think that was pretty apparent in the narrative of the general plot of the first game, but lucky us, Kodaka and the writers stepped up their Toko game big time in Ultra Despair Girls!

But that point of criticism aside, Toko is a great character to me because she really does start as a solitary person alone and unwilling to trust anyone out there. Everyone in her life aside from maybe a teacher who saw her talent shine in writing was shit to her and that turned her into a closed off, distrustful person who could freely throw insults and judge others because… well, people suck and they deserve to be judged before they judge you. Years of that trauma and abuse in her past was never going to be undone right away. But just a little bit at a time, through the story and everything she experiences around someone who does have faith (even sort of) in her like Makoto and the others, she opens up again. And when she does, it’s this beautiful moment of happiness when she accept Komaru’s friendship, love and support in UDG. Toko just… has come such a long way and it really goes to show that with trust and support of the good in other people deep down, Hope can flourish and conquer the deepest flaws and fears in a character like her.

#danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #fukawa toko #makoto naegi #Byakuya Togami #genocider syo #danganronpa analysis #sorta…? #thanks for the ask!