#like i know it's all pretend but i still feel like i'm invading a real person's privacy it's gross and voyeuristic in the worst kind of way

[oneofthetorturedpoets]

Keep on pretending pretty girl.

based on pretty girls by Renee Rapp.

Regina George x Reader

You wouldn't say that you were popular but you were definitely well known, mainly for the fact that you were openly gay and stood up for yourself if anyone had something to say.

You knew how Regina George ran the school, but you never had to interact with her, fortunately for you. Though because of your clashing personalities everyone anticipated a fight between you too, knowing you wouldn't back down, even from the top plastic.

-

You held your lunch tray out in front of you as you were walking towards your table, as you were walking a jock slapped your food out of your hands.

"What's up, lesbo?" He says, you stand still, shocked at the situation. No one has ever tried to be violent with you, it was mainly just name calling.

You look up towards the guy, who you found to be Shane Omen "What the fuck dude?"

He chuckles, mockingly. "Aw, I'm sorry, were you going to eat that?"

You shake your head, deciding to just ignore him and leave. As you went to do that, he pushed you, causing you to stumble. You grab the table to save yourself.

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you, dyke." You whip around, before he could even react to you facing him now, you swing your fist, hooking him right in the jaw. His head flew to the side, his hand immediately going up to try and soothe his mouth.

All the way across the gym, Regina George is watching the interaction, heat shooting straight through her body as she watches you sock her ex boyfriend in the face-

Wait did she think that was hot? No, she's not gay.

-

After the so called fight in the gym, your day was fine. You tried to ignore the shooting pain in your knuckles as you fixed your hair in the mirror. You see the door open and Regina walks through. She smirks at you.

She stands next to you, starting to adjust her her lipstick. "What's up, loser?"

You look over at her. "Uh, nothing much. what about you?" The sentence coming off more awkward than you wanted.

"I'm having a party this weekend, I want you there." Her tone makes your heart skip a beat.

"Just tell me when and where, I'll be there."

-

The weekend came sooner than you thought, leaving you rummaging through your closet. You finally find an outfit that is still your style but you're sure Regina would approve.

You walk through Regina's front door, the lights are dimmed and music is blaring. You weave through the people who were either drinking, dancing or eating each other's faces.

You find the drink table, grabbing a drink for yourself. You felt a hand on your arm, looking over to see Regina. "You came."

"Well you did invite me." You say, jokingly.

She snickers. "I wasn't sure you would show, this doesn't seem like your thing."

You shake your head. "It's not, but I figured I should try it before I have real life responsibilities."

"Well, I hope my party lives up to all of your expectations." As soon as she says that, she's wondering back into the crowd of people.

-

You find yourself sitting in a corner, the party really wasn't your thing. None of your friends were invited, so there was no one you could talk to, except for the occasional Regina.

She was sweeter than you thought she would be. Maybe it's because you haven't done anything wrong, but then again she snaps at people for just looking at her.

Speaking of her, she walks over to you, a sway in her walk. "Hey, loser."

"Hey, Regina" She slides into the spot next to you.

The smell of alcohol and expensive perfume invading your nose. You feel her turn to face you, you follow the action. "So, you're gay, aren't you?"

Ohh so this is the part where Regina finds something to tease you over and throws you out of the party? "Yeah, I like girls."

"That's cool." She says, the tension builds. "Is there any girl you have your eye on?" Her tone sounds almost like she wanting a specific answer.

"Not really, I don't talk to many people" She nods along with your statement.

She plays with her fingers. "You know... if I were gay, you would probably be my type." She inches close towards you.

You've heard that before, so many times. All of the straight girls who wanted to experiment. Why was this time different? Why did butterflies swarm your stomach? Why were you leaning in?

Before you knew it, your lips collide. A spark that makes your skin irrupt into a blush. Her hands get lost in your hair, trying to pull you closer. Your hand squeezes her thigh. You pull away, finally coming to your senses.

"What about Aaron?" Your hands remain in the same spot.

"Don't worry, he won't mind." You try to leave the situation, do the right thing and leave, but when she staring at you with her dilated pupils and kiss-swollen lips. you pull her in for another kiss, all coherent thoughts fly out of your mind, except for one that kept circling.

How can Regina be so mean if her lips are this sweet?

"Regina- oh my god" Gretchen screams.

You go to pull away but Regina holds you in place for another second, savoring the moment. "What Gretchen?" Regina was more annoyed than you thought. was she really that into the kiss?

"Aaron was looking for you, but I see that you're... busy" Gretchen looked you up and down.

Regina could tell Gretchen was judging you. "Yeah, I am actually. Tell him I left." Before Gretchen could even turn around, Regina pulls you in for a deep kiss. The action causing you to melt into her.

-

"Everyone is gone, Regina." You mutter against her lips, she slowly pulls away.

She sighs. "God, I can't get enough of you." Her sentence caused you to blush. "You know, we barely get to talk but you've always been my favorite. I think it's because you're not scared of me? I don't know but I've been watching you and I think you're cool." She plays with your hand, seeming nervous.

You smile at her. "I must be cool if I could do this." You pull her in for another kiss, she moans. You pull away, sooner than Regina wanted. she tries to follow you but eventually you break apart.

"I absolutely love what we got goin' on here but I think I should go home." She rolls her eyes, glancing over to the clock on her wall, it reads '3:00 AM'. She realizes how long you two have been there.

"Oh shit, you're right" Regina gets up, adjusting her outfit. “This was fun, baby” She pecks your lips one last time before leaving the room.

-

As you walk into the school, you’re nervous to see Regina. You’re not sure why, she said she had fun last night.

You see her passing by. "Hey Regina!" She ignores you, pushing right pass you.

What the fuck?

You brush it off, deciding to continue on with your day. You walk into your first period, the only open seat was next to Regina. You walk over there, she turns away from you as much as she can. Visibly avoiding you.

Half way through the period, you try and talk to her. "Regina, if you're mad-"

She cuts you off immediately. "Why are you talking to me? We never talked before. What changed?"

You scoff. "You know exactly what changed, but if we're going to play that game, let's do it."

Regina looks at you, slightly shocked.

-

The next time you see regina that day is in fifth period, right before lunch. She's sitting in the seat you always sit at.

"You're in my seat." You stare down at her.

She smirks. "It doesn't have your name on it."

"It actually does, I carved it in to the desk when I was bored. So get out." She looks down, seeing your name faintly carved into the plastic.

You tap your foot, getting impatient. "That doesn't make it yours. I've decided I want to sit here today."

You shake your head. "I preferred it when you didn't talk to me." You turn around, storming off to a different desk.

-

The period finally ended, after what felt like forever. You packed your notebook in your backpack, quickly leaving the class, as you were walking down the hall, a hand pulled you into the janitors closet.

"What the hell-" You were interrupted by lips crashing into yours. You quickly pull away, relieved to see Regina, but also extremely confused. "Regina-" She cut you off again. Kissing you passionately, not letting you think about anything else except for her. You kiss her back, her taste too intoxicating to not. When air became a problem, she pulled away.

"God, I hate you" She whispers against your lips.

Your brows crinkle in confusion. "Why?"

She kisses you lightly. "I think you've brought out the part of me I've been trying to keep away all these years."

"Maybe instead of hating me, you should be thanking me." She smirks.

"I think I'm showing you enough gratitude." Your lips meet again, passion overflowing.

#fanfic #regina george x reader #regina george #mean girls #renee rapp #renee rapp x reader #regina george x you #mean girls the musical #mean girls 2024 #regina george is a lesbian #wlw fiction #regina george icons

[moonlightazriel]

Prologue /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Y/N Blackbeak keep dreaming about the same male for decade’s now, she wonders what this all could mean.

Word Count: 751

Warnings: None for this part.

Notes: Welcome to my new series, i hope you guys enjoy it just as much as i do. I was so excited to share this with you all.

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

The sound of leathery wings sounded above her head, she looked up expecting to see the black wyvern hovering over her head. She blinked a couple of times, landing in front of her was the male, he had onyx hair, brown skin and the prettiest hazel eyes she had ever seen. His sharp jaw and plush lips were forming a smile, he was smiling at her. 

She tried to touch his face, retrieving her hand quickly before her iron claws could do any damage to his smooth skin. The male shook his head, marred fingers grasping her wrist. He lifted her hand, pink warm lips ghosting over her cold skin, a kiss of midnight on the back of her hand.

She closed her eyes, feeling warmth spread across her chest, that thing skipping a few beats as he pulled her closer by the waist, still holding her hand. She waited for the kiss, feeling his breath fanning over her face, he smelled like night chilled mist and cedar. The scent wrapping itself around her and calming her wild heart.

“You have plagued my dreams for centuries.” She spoke, her voice hoarse like she had been silent for so very long. “Will I ever see you one day?” Her eyes watered. 

The same dream, the same male, but she never found him, and she had spent so long looking for him. She knew he was different from her lovers, from anyone she had ever met. She knew she had to find him, see him at least once, to bring peace to her tortured mind. 

With all the gentleness in the world, he cradled her face in between his hands, the rough skin brushing against the sides of her jaw. Those beautiful hazel eyes, tinted with specs of gold looked into hers, like they could see the fractured soul underneath the brave facade she tried so hard to keep together.

“Don’t wrap your pretty head around it.” His lips touched her forehead, and she leaned into that feeling, the only time she actually had peace was in the arms of the stranger that walked on her dreams. “You won’t have to wait much longer, but please..” She watched as worry laced his features.

She wanted to soothe the furrow of his eyebrows, with a cold hand, she brushed the tip of her finger against his cheek, slowly going upwards until she traced his eyebrows, the left one and then the right one.

“Whatever you want to say, do not worry, please.” She begged and the male nodded.

“Do not be hurt if I don't remember you, I'm not even sure you will remember me.” He chuckled, the sound lighting something within her heart.

“Like I could ever forget you.” She traced his lips.

“The Mother works in mysterious ways, all I know is that our time is coming soon.” He warned and her heart filled with hope, would she finally be able to feel his arms around her waist and his hard chest against her for real? No more play pretend, just reality.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” She allowed herself to feel that love, slowly taking roots in her heart, taking her by surprise.

“Soon, my love, soon.” He promised, his lips capturing hers in a delicate kiss.

She woke up, sweat coated her forehead and her heart hammered against her ribcage knocking the air out of her lungs. She felt dizzy, her fingers touching her tingly lips. The early rays of sunshine invading her room, forcing her to shut her eyes tightly together, the image of him burning bright as she did so. 

Y/N got up, her body protesting but she had things to tend to. She was able to relax under the scalding water of her bath, but the dark circles still marked her eyes, giving her a tired aspect. She inspected the bumpy scar on the left side of her face, two smaller ones marred her eyebrow, missing the eye for an inch, and the biggest one was from the beginning of her hairline to her cheek, irregular skin patched together forming that monstrosity on her once beautiful face.

But just like her, the male also had his scars, and he never seemed disgusted by hers, he always looked at her with love and admiration, she was sure that when they found each other for the first time, he wouldn’t judge her. Nothing would be different between them, her heart just wondered when that meeting would happen.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Taglist: @fieldofdaisiies @blackgirlmagicforever @a-frog-with-a-laptop @going-through-shit @asweetblueberry2 @roses-r-red54330 @mis-lil-red @sheblogs @hibye02 @impossibelle @glitterypirateduck @zeroangelo13 @sekiro1310

#acotar #azriel shadowsinger #sarahjmaas #moonlightazriel #azriel #shadowsinger #azriel x reader #night court #azriel x y/n #velaris #worlds apart fanfic

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 23

Howdy y'all!

If you're new here this is every new (to me) fic I read this week and some of my silly lil thoughts about them.

I did some catching up on series this week and also did some writing so I've only got 12 fics for you this week! I read a lot of dark shit this week, but that's October for ya. There's still some sweetness in here somewhere if you aren't into dark stuff and I've made sure to mark everything appropriately (I think).

As always you can find all my previous fic recs here.

Recs below the Pedros!

Apple - a Frankie/Santi/Will one shot by @romana-after-dark

You are married to Santi and you have a CNC kink he very happily obliges. You set up a thing where Santi, Will, and Frankie pretend to be home invaders and they gangbang you. Stuff goes a lil sideways and it ends up being NC/DC. This was wonderfully unsettling. I love how there's this strand of believability that they don't intentionally overstep her boundaries. It's dark and scary and feels very real.

sam and diane, eat your heart out a Marcus Pike one shot by @chronically-ghosted

You've been working with Marcus for a while and finally wrapped up the case you were on. You've almost given up ever getting what you want with him when finally!! You both admit your feelings for each other. Cue steamy office make out sesh with thigh riding. I loved the will they won't they shit in the beginning. The frustration makes the pay off so good.

i am touchin', i am grabbin', everything I can't be havin' - a Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

You show up at the doorstep of your long time but estranged family friend Dieter Bravo, soaking wet and with nowhere else to go. You've known him so long you call him Uncle Dee, no I'm not kidding. I almost didn't click on this bc like UNCLE?? But he's not really your uncle and I cannot express enough how fucking hot this was. Like Dieter is just so fucking good this OH MY GOD. If you love Dieter, read this. You'll love it.

Recovery Road - a Dieter series by @chronically-ghosted

Dieter finally gets his shit together, he's clean and married and working on a new project. His costar (you) is a cunt fr. You're on drugs, you're a brat, and you're a mess. And Dieter can't stay away from you. When his wife gets fed up with him and humiliates him in public, you're there to catch him... and ruin his sobriety, his marriage, and maybe everything else. I have a couple chapters left of this but OH MY GOD. I was so MAD at Dieter, but also so sad for him. Don't take that as me saying I didn't love this because I did. I do. It's so beautifully written. The pain and angst and desperation and everything is so powerful, this hurts to read. And the smut? Mind altering actually.

a revolting development - a Joel series by @chloeangelic

Your new step dad is really hot... and that's gonna be a problem. I've been reading so many step dad fics lately (not just Joel!) and I'm so into it and what is wrong with me?

The Rogue Who Coaxed You - a Joel series by @atticrissfinch

You're Joel's secretary and you suck him off while he fields a phone call from his wife! We love an infidelity fic round these parts, we really do. Reader is filthy, Joel is mean, there's a lot of degradation, the works. I'm so obsessed with this dynamic I can't wait to read more.

When the Gallow-Grass Gives - a Silva one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Silva rescues you (m!reader) from the gallows, walks you home by the rope you were supposed to hang by, and then tells you that you remind him of someone he used to know. I love a good gay cowboy fic and this is a GREAT one. The historically accurate lube made me cackle. This was so well written and so HOT and managed to maintain that wistful sadness Silva seems to have hanging like a cloud around him.

Desires and Complications - a Marcus Pike/Dave York series by @ezrasbirdie

Sweet little Marcus Pike wants to please you better in bed so he calls up your ex, Dave York, to show him how to be a dom. It goes a little differently than any of you imagined when Marcus turns submissive for Dave. This fic is so hot. I read up through "plead" and it looks like maybe there's some throuple dynamics forming!!! I'm so excited to finish this AHHHGHGHG

Ripping Sunrise - a frankie one shot by @idolatrybarbie

You accidentally take an edible and Frankie takes care of your high ass. And then once the high wears off he really takes care of you... This is so sweet and hot, I love it so much.

I Might Kill My Ex - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Joel leaves you for Tess and that... well that's just unacceptable. We got dark!reader, asshole!Joel, murder, dub con for Joel, the works. This fic is so good. It's dark and gives you a fascinating look into reader's crumbling psyche. I love the ending so much also

------------------

I wrote Ouroboros and Eat You Whole. Dave York x f!reader fics set in the same universe, canon divergent but some canon stuff still happens in the background. Love as consumption/Love as violence type thing. Basically you and Dave are two touch starved, miserable people with nothing left in this world and you have crazy sex about it. There’s some softness in there too.

-----------------

Here's some series I've been reading (not a comprehensive list): Hot and Heavy (Joel), Muddy Waters (Joel/Ez), Stepdad!Joel, Exile (Javi P), New York or Nowhere (Joel), Feral Woman (Joel), Yearling (Joel), a lover's pinch (joel), the world tipped on it's side (Frankie), and Pretend Alleyways (Marcus/Dieter)

(In order: @tieronecrush @bonezone44 @toxicanonymity @jksprincess10 @beskarandblasters @gasolinerainbowpuddles @justagalwhowrites @hier--soir @idolatrybarbie @radiowallet)

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Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu

[zafirosreverie]

Cuando la veo (Julieta x F!Reader) part 2

part 1 << >>next

_________________

You sighed as you slowly closed the drawer, wishing it had taken you longer to unpack everything, but you had taken with you only the essentials, a lot of memories, and some pieces of jewelry. You just wanted to lie down and cry, but you knew that if you took any longer, your aunt would become suspicious, and you really didn't want to worry her. The woman who had been a second mother in your childhood had already done more than enough for you, the least you could do was spare her bad times.

Still, you didn't move immediately, trying to gather some strength to face the day ahead. Despite the fact that it was your first day in the town and you were exhausted from the trip, tía Laura had insisted that you at least know a little about the place, so that you would begin to become familiar with it. It's not like it was a big town, and even if you got lost, you could probably find the house back if you walked far enough, but you suspected that the real reason behind it all was that your aunt didn't want you to lock yourself in your room and carry on with your fest of self-hatred and guilt, which, unfortunately, was what you had planned to do.

"Only for you, Auntie" you thought aloud "I'm going to try for you because I owe it to you"

You closed your eyes and clenched your fists, holding back tears. You had really hoped that moving to Encanto would be a whole new life, that the magical place your aunt described could really make you forget everything. But no, the love you felt for Santiago and the pain of his departure was still there, fresh, poignant, and all too real.

"It's nice to see you here, dear"

Your aunt's cheerful voice brought you out of your thoughts and forced you to open your eyes to your reality. You assumed that her friend had arrived. Great, time to ponder fake smiles and pretend you weren't falling apart. You tried to strain your ears to hear the conversation.

"I'm saying the same, Laura" answered a polite voice "It's been a while"

You couldn't hear anything else. For some reason, your legs grew weak and your pulse raced as your mind repeated the sweet, warm, and slightly sensual tone of your aunt's guest. It surprised you that your body reacted that way, and a huge feeling of guilt invaded you, but you couldn't shake the thought that the mysterious woman really had a pretty voice.

“Enough, Y/N” you chided yourself in a low voice “This is not the time for you to start being weird. You're going downstairs, you'll politely greet Mrs. Alma and you will pretend that everything is fine"

Anyway, you assumed that was what you should do. No one here knew you, so there was no point waiting for them to feel empathy for you if they saw you cry, nor did you want to tell your tragedy left and right. You simply wanted to look like a happy and cheerful young woman, content to live a new life in a place far away from the land where she was born. Easier said than done, but you had to fake it until you believed it.

"Okay, here I go"

You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and turned the doorknob. Your first footsteps were louder than you'd expected, but you managed to calm down a bit as you reached the stairs. You really hoped that your aunt's friend didn't realize how nervous you were, you didn't want to give her a bad impression if only to avoid embarrassing tía Laura. You descended the stairs with a horrible tightness in your chest, feeling how the palms of your hands began to sweat with each step, but you refused to run away. It was just one more stranger, a greeting and that was all, you could do it. So why did it feel like everything was going to change at once? As if meeting this woman would mean realizing that your life had really changed?

Probably because it was true. You had spent months locked up and in denial after losing Santiago, months in which only Laura had been able to talk to you, even if it was through letters, and in which she had kept begging you to move in with her. You knew she cared for you, you were the only family she had left, and that was the only thing you could hold on to, and in that feeling of familiarity, it had been easy to imagine that there was only the two of you, that nothing else was real.

Meeting Alma Madrigal (or anyone other than your aunt, if you were being honest), meant getting out of that bubble and coming to terms with the fact that you were miles away from home, in another country, and that the world moved on without you. And you didn't know if you were ready. You stopped short when you saw a female figure in front of your aunt. Her back was turned, but it didn't matter, it was her clothes that had brought back painful memories, making you freeze in place. She was dressed in blue.

"My precious alhelí, she has just arrived" you heard your aunt speak "and I must say that her hands are more skilled, and her designs far exceed any of mine”

You had not heard the rest of the conversation, too lost in your thoughts and trying to calm the panic attack that had invaded you, but it was not necessary, you knew that she was talking about her sewing workshop and although you knew that she had good intentions, the truth was it was that there was some pressure on you for it, you weren't sure you could fill her shoes, but you would try. You forced yourself to speak, it would be pathetic if your first meeting with someone from the place ended with you frozen in place without responding.

"No one could top your designs, tía, but I appreciate the compliment" you smiled softly.

You had reached the last step, your aunt and her friend had heard you, they knew of your presence, there was nowhere to run or turn back. You watched the woman jump a little at the suddenness of your voice, and though you felt a little guilty, you found the movement and the slight, almost inaudible gasp she had let out kind of cute. The woman turned to look at you, and you felt as if time had stopped.

The brunette in front of you had a round and smooth figure that magnified the deep maternal warmth that radiated from her. Her dark skin glowed with beautiful pink and purple undertones, contrasting with the yellow of the sun coming through the window. Her round face was adorned with beautiful subtle freckles that did nothing but beautify her face caressed by time. But what caught your attention the most and made you forget even the pain that the color of her clothing had caused you, were her eyes.

They were beautiful, big, a little droopy, adorned with lush and tender eyelashes, but you had never seen eyes so full of love, life, and compassion. There was an entire galaxy in that pair of chocolate pools as if they had seen the saddest things, but also the most beautiful things on Earth. They had a beautiful, warm, and kind look that invited to get lost in them.

You could feel the blood rushing to your face, probably giving you away on your cheeks, and your pulse was so racing that you wondered how you were still alive. You tried not to fix your gaze on her too much, so as not to make her feel uncomfortable, but it was impossible for you to take your eyes off the beauty in front of you, and when she smiled at you, so calm and welcoming, you felt your breath start to fail. What the hell was happening to you?!

"Oh! Y/N, just in time" your aunt told you cheerfully "Come, I want to introduce you to someone"

The older woman, unaware of the state you were in, carefully took your arm firmly, pulling you to stand right in front of your guest. Looking up close to her, she didn't look as old as you had imagined after hearing your aunt talk about her. Sure, her hair was flecked with silver ribbons, and there were soft lines at the corners of her lips and the corners of her eyes, but she didn't look any older than tía Laura, so you assumed you weren't, in fact, in front of Alma Madrigal.

"Y/N, this is Julieta, daughter of Alma" your aunt said "Julieta, this is my beloved niece, Y/N"

“Nice to meet you, Y/N” the brunette said, smiling friendly and extending her hand towards you.

You could hear yourself responding and shaking her hand, but it seemed like you were seeing it all in third person because all you could really focus on was how soft her skin was and how weak your knees felt suddenly. You didn't know what kind of powers this woman had to disarm you just two seconds after meeting her, and as much as you hated yourself at that moment, deep down you knew that that soft, deep, and sensual voice was going to haunt your dreams.

Although you weren't the only one who was having trouble processing the surreal scene that was being created.

Julieta tried her best to keep a neutral face and prayed to all the saints that came to mind that her brown skin was hiding her blush well, but the truth was that all she could think about was how beautiful you were and how the air seemed to tighten more and more. She didn't understand why her body was reacting that way to you, you were pretty, yes, but you were a complete stranger to her, she barely knew your name and it was evident that she was too many years older than you.

She shouldn't be feeling butterflies waking up inside her, butterflies like the ones her husband hadn't made her feel in years. And yet here she was, in her fifties, with mounting stress at losing the home she had grown up in and lived in all her life, terrible sadness at losing her family as well, but with a dangerously familiar feeling slowly blooming in her chest.

"She will be in charge of my workshop" Laura said, unknowingly breaking the spell that had wrapped around you.

You and Julieta jumped a little and quickly separated when you noticed that you were still holding hands You couldn't look her in the eye and she mentally scolded herself for that second of weakness, though she was quick to understand that she was simply fooling herself, that the stress and negative feelings that were haunting her were finally taking their toll. That you were absolutely beautiful had only been a fluke that her treacherous mind had taken advantage of…right?

You chuckled a bit and tried to ignore the churn in your stomach when the brunette looked at your aunt in surprise. Yes, they had been talking about you and your future role in the town before you introduced yourself, but you assumed that the same thing had happened to her: it was different to have the real person in front of you than just an idea. You didn't know why the idea that she could be surprised by you made you so excited.

"Well, I have no doubt that the designs will be art if the creator is so beautiful" Julieta said without thinking.

As her own words registered in her mind, she wished she could disappear at that moment. What kind of weird person would say such things about a young lady she had only just met?! She felt foolish and wrong. And yet, you were smiling at her with such tenderness, emotion, and hope, that her heart had no choice but to beat faster, while her brain tried to reconnect with everything.

"Thank you" you said softly, cheeks so red you were sure you looked like a tomato "I'm really not that good but-"

"Nonsense" your aunt interrupted you "This girl has known how to use a needle and thread since she was 5 years old"

"6, auntie" you corrected her kindly

"It's the same" she smiled at you "The point is, you have an amazing talent, my little dove, and I'm sure that all of Encanto will soon be dazzled by your brilliance"

You just rolled your eyes affectionately while tía Laura affectionately squeezed your cheeks. It was a bit embarrassing if you were being honest, especially with a woman you didn't know (but who was making an awfully good impression on you quickly), but you'd never been able to deny your aunt these gestures. That the brunette smiled at you with complicity had nothing to do with your decision to allow it.

"Then I guess you don't have anything to worry about, Y/N" she said, savoring every syllable of your name "I wish you the best of luck."

"T-thank you very much" you said politely.

There was something about the way your name sounded in her voice, the soft, gentle way she pronounced it, that made your already weak legs want to finish melting. You really needed fresh air to calm you down, or your head would start spinning.

"I'd better get back home before Mom worries" Julieta said.

The truth was, she didn't feel like going back to that strange house she barely knew, and she knew her mother probably wouldn't even notice her absence if she decided to skip dinner, but she needed to leave before the heat in her guts boiled over and she committed more mistakes than she could handle. She didn't want to think about the effect you had on her, but it was undeniably dangerous and confusing, she needed to get out of there.

"Of course dear" Laura replied "Thank you again"

"It was no problem" she smiled "And welcome to Encanto, Y/N" she added, unable to stop herself from saying your name again.

"Thank you, Mrs. Madrigal" you responded politely

"Call me Julieta" the brunette told you, not knowing if she was crossing more lines than allowed "My mother is Mrs. Madrigal"

“O-okay” you chuckled softly “...Julieta”

You couldn't help but feel a shiver running down your spine at the moment you saw the sincere smile she offered you as if you were doing her a great favor by saying her name, or as if it was the first time she had really heard it. It didn't matter, the fact was that it made you feel a little more excited.

You watched in silence as the woman said goodbye to your aunt and disappeared through the door, following her every move unconsciously and not really noticing the knowing look the older woman was giving you.

"Sweet Julieta" Laura said with a touch of drama "Lucky thing that she was the first Madrigal you met, dear."

"Why?" you asked, looking at her with a curious frown

"Because she is the kindest of them all" she smiled at you "...and she is also beautiful, isn’t she?"

Your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks catch fire again. You turned your head to avoid your aunt's gaze, but her scandalous (although warm) laugh resonated deep within your being. Guilt swirled inside you again and the cold in your chest seemed to grow as if it were trying to get bigger than the soft warmth that was slowly beginning to rise inside you as well. You ignored your aunt's taunts, but deep inside you couldn't help but think that even if the town didn't turn out to be as magical as you thought, at least one person in it was.

#reader insert #x reader #julieta madrigal x reader #julieta madrigal x you #julieta x reader #julieta madrigal imagine #julieta madrigal preference #julieta my beloved #julieta madrigal #encanto x reader #encanto x you #encanto imagine #encanto preference #encanto #cuando la veo #clv

[tamelee]

Draw what you want to draw Tame! I mean, I’m not particularly a fan of Sasunaru in general because I often associate it with a side of the fandom I had a pretty bad experience with, but I like your Sasunaru drawings because… they’re yours. You communicate so much trough you art, it brings me so much joy, and I get so inspired from you… We feel the love you hold for Naruto and Sasuke trough your pieces, it’s the most important thing.

+5 (long post)

Thank you for sending me messages like this 😭💕 I feel like I don't deserve it, but like, honestly, it's a bit strange how your brain automatically focusses on this negative, invading thing but some of you always remind me to redirect my attention elsewhere, does that make sense? I don't know if it does, but in short; I appreciate it A LOT! 🥰 1st Nonee; I think I understand what kind of bad experience that may be.. I'm sorry to hear about it ;-;- I'm extra grateful you can still connect with my art despite it <3

Yes… I’m aware. 

This… sorta feels like I was having a conversation with someone about different kinds of apples and then you walk by, linger to listen, sorta cough for a moment, tap me on the shoulder and say, “I overhead and found this hilarious, honestly. Why the hell do you refuse the existence of banana’s? They are real and you should take into consideration that some people may prefer them over apples. Are you just pretending there’s just no other fruit?”

And I’ll frown in confusion, hold up a rotten apple and explain I was talking about this (I’ll point at it) very specific moldy, apple. That, it doesn’t matter whether it used to be red or green, it shouldn’t be consumed anymore after it passes a certain limit. 

But then you come over to lecture us about banana’s because it’s also a fruit, and you feel strongly about the fact that both are great for baking and just because they have these similarities, it doesn’t mean they are the same thing. 

And I agree because I just said that I didn’t care what color it had but… it’s rotten. 

Anyway, either you missed the point completely, or I haven’t been clear enough. In which case, I probably made it more confusing, but since you found it hilarious I wanted in on the joke 🤷🏻‍♀️

“I feel like taking that into consideration it's understandable that some people prefer to stick to just one dynamic, whichever that might be. This obviously does not justify harassing creators for doing a different dynamic you don't prefer.”

On the other hand, I think you did get the point somewhere. This is literally what I said. 

So, this was very informative, but I’ve talked about it before. In the post I also mentioned preferences and that I had one as well. Don’t you think that by itself acknowledges the possibility of a distinction between options? There’s no use for a preference otherwise, yes? It means there are choices. And the people in the comments talked about heteronormativity which has largely to do with the characterization you’re talking about. That means people aren’t blind at all, because this characterization in fandom has a lot to do with heteronormativity which, in turn, is often the reason they start attacking each other. And just because it’s true and real, or a phenomena as you say, doesn’t mean there aren’t any rotten apples and we aren't allowed to throw those in the bin. 

And so, yes, I am very much going to “act” like people who attack other people for something so silly and ridiculous- are crazy. Because the point of my post was specifically about them. 

Aka, the rotten apple.  Have a blessed day as well, Nonee.

#asktamelee #fandom talk

[povlvr]

4 • Operation: The Party ... The After Party & Late Night Strolls | OPERATION: FAKING IT ...?

4 • Operation: The Party … The After Party & Late Night Strolls | OPERATION: FAKING IT …?

Description: Horrible politicians, a nosey Natasha & a very important question for Bucky during a game of Truth or Dare. Will you & Bucky finally share your feelings?

Pairing: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Female Avenger Reader

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Cute Bucky, swearing, discussions of injury, guns, suggestive language, 18+, there's some rubbing & thumb sucking, (no smut yet).

A/N: I have been told to not apologise for the word count so I'm not! FYI, lets just pretend that the puppies in the pictures below are the same, there are not enough photos of Sebastian Stan with puppies on the internet! Also let me know if you spot the Lana Del Rey lyric.

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Turns out Tony did manage to find a ‘publishable’ photo despite making you look through each one pointing out all the tongue shots with a running total, he stopped counting after 47, you thought it was hot & he really wasn’t impressed when you emailed a select few to yourself. Once the photos hit the media they did the news rounds, people seemed genuinely excited & it seemed to quash any rumblings of the whole thing being fake. Fake, you hated that word, no matter how it all came about your feelings towards Bucky were as real as they come & the little family you two had forged was real, every day you were happy because of him. How is that fake?

Whatever purgatory your actual relationship found itself in you decided to just let it be, you wanted more but understood if you weren’t enough for him, either way you’d enjoy the closeness & kissing whilst it lasted. You had been spending all your time with him since your dinner date, Bucky used whatever excuse he could to see you, he would climb into your bed every morning after taking Burtie out for his morning bathroom visit & he would turn up at your lab most days to hang out whilst you worked, your productivity levels were at an all-time low but being snuggled up out of view of the security camera with your super solider & pup you didn’t care, Tony brought this on himself as far as you were concerned.

There were no further kisses since the restaurant due to lack of excuses, apart from when Bucky claimed he needed some of the lip balm you had just applied, despite questioning how licking it off your lips helped his own, you didn’t complain, you may have reapplied hoping for a repeat, which of course worked like a charm.

Bucky went weak at the knees at the picture you sent & practically abandoned the weights in the gym to get to you, he had to physically restrain himself when you were waiting for him having not changed. Once you threw yourself into his arms he felt how soft the fabric was & now all he wanted to do was fall asleep with his head in your lap & have you run your fingers through his hair as he snuggled into you.

Burtie watched all the bright lights of the drive thru with fascination & wiggled in excitement on your lap at the smells invading the car, he of course charmed the pants off Debbie your server & earned himself a bonus nuggie. You & Bucky took turns eating & holding your very eager puppy trying to munch on anything in sight, you kept trying to sneak him fries but Bucky would wrestle it from you before you got to him. You knew he was right, but it didn’t stop you sulking, you just wanted Burtie to love you, so would give him anything he wanted even if it was bad for him. 

You had recently fallen into a routine of late-night snacks & walks to tire Burtie out before bed so once you got back to the tower you grabbed a jacket & you both headed to the park. Summer evenings in New York were always your favourite, the heat subsides & channels of soft breezes travel through the skyscrapers, the Super Solider with his hand joined with yours always took these moments with the reverence they deserved, although not as quiet as Wakanda, he still felt the peace he associated with his time there wash over him each night. You were his peace, he could be on a battlefield with atomic bombs being dropped from the sky & one look at you would silence all the noise, you would eclipse all the horror surrounding him & beckon him to peace like a siren calling him to the depths of the ocean, he'd drown for you.

--

In true Tony Stark fashion, he decided your third operation would be at one of his infamous parties, there would be a lot of press in attendance & that was his entire excuse under the guise that it was a birthday party for the head of robotics assistant. Everybody bought it.

Unfortunately, part of Tony’s parties always included the bit where you had to find a dress, naturally Nat insisted on joining you on the search, you usually made a day out of it, you did try & protest her tagging along because you knew Tony had arranged a fitting at a boutique rather than ‘lowering yourself to an off the rack number’. She rolled her eyes at you once you made it clear that it would be a whistle stop trip because you had a super solider warming your bed with your dog & you wanted cuddles. 

The plush interior of the boutique was in complete contrast to the grey run-down street it lived on, rich purple velvets lined the walls with chandeliers that made your head spin when you contemplated how they changed all the bulbs, maybe Tony should send Peter to assist next time they needed replacing. You were both greeted with champagne & canapes whilst the room was prepared, colourful fabrics adorned every available surface & all of the dresses on mannequins lined up were breath-taking, but completely OTT for a party held by Tony Stark. The seamstress Valentina ushered you into the fitting room & led you to the pedestal in the centre surrounded by 360 degree mirrors, after discussing fabrics, style & occasions you would need dresses for she got to work with her measuring tape & very firm fingers contorting your limbs & body to her whim whilst she shouted out numbers to her assistant busily scribbling them down.

Natasha sat on the plush tub chair sipping on champagne whilst she watched on in fascination from the moment you set foot in the place, ‘Why has Tony done all this for you just for a party?’

You knew the interrogation was inevitable, you hadn’t been avoiding her as such, but you were spending so much time with Bucky it just naturally meant less with your other friends, so with her finally getting you one on one it was bound to happen ‘You know how he is Tash, I am his first born.’

‘True, but you usually just go to a store & buy your dress on his card, something isn’t adding up, is Bucky proposing or something? Although why would Tony care about that?’

You almost spat out your champagne at the ridiculousness of her statement, one, that wasn’t remotely what was going on & two Bucky wouldn’t ever propose to you like that, it would be far too flashy & attention seeking for either of you … not that you had thought about it at all. What kind of spy was she?

‘Fuck no, why would you think that & on what planet would he ask me like that?’

‘So, you’ve thought about it, I can tell from your face, such a public setting is so not Bucky or you for that matter.’

Fuck, maybe she’s better than you gave her credit for.

As Valentina continued measuring every single inch of your body you noticed your phone light up on the table next to Nat, being the nosey friend she was, her eyes homed in on it.

‘You got a text from Bucky Bear.’ She looked disgusted at herself for saying it.

‘Whaaat? Look at that man & tell me he’s not a big teddy bear.’

‘Not to me, but I’m not you, never were.’ She was so dismissive in her tone, but it was a pointed comment with something deeper behind it.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I may have drunkenly made a pass at him once & he very politely turned me down, his reasonings were logical but I knew they were a lie, he has an obvious tell. I always thought he was just into someone else, turns out it was you.’

‘Shit Natasha, you should have said if you were into him, I would have been your wing man, it definitely wasn’t me who he was into. Maybe he didn’t know you wanted that, he’s oblivious to those kinds of things, I’d have talked to him for you, he’d listen to me.’

‘hmmm’ her eyes narrowed, ‘why are you so adamant that he wasn’t into you? He clearly was, he always followed you around like a lost puppy. You’re saying you would have set me up with Bucky, the guy you’re with now so if you had & it had worked out between us you wouldn’t be with him now’

Shit.

‘Well, not now obviously but back whenever you did.’

‘So, you didn’t like him too? What changed?’ alarm bells were going off in your head, the truth could set you free of her interrogation, maybe just not all of it.

‘No, I could see he was hot I mean I have eyes, but I’d put him in the friend category knowing he’d never go for someone like me, but sometimes you look at someone close enough & realise that they’re the best person you know. Look, I know I’m a lot, most guys just go through me to get to you or get sick of me before they get to meet you, but I never get that feeling from him, he likes being around me, I try to rein it in for his sake, but I know he’d probably tell me if I was annoying him instead of just ghosting me or dumping me in the middle of a road trip to see the world’s biggest cowboy hat at the side of the road … or whatever.’ You shrugged your shoulders hoping the little pout would work on Nat as well, so she’d drop it, baring your soul & all your hang-ups to people sure was a downer. You felt heavy, like you just wanted to curl up in Bucky’s arms, safe & sound, the realisation that he was your comfort dawned on you, what would happen when this was all over, could you still go to him?

‘Who the hell did that & why didn’t you tell me?’ oh you made her mad, not good.

‘I knew you’d go after him with Bucky & the last thing you two need with the general public is a controversy over some idiot. Tony would flip, so I kept it to myself, Tony picked me up & we went to see it.’

You didn’t see her gaze narrow at your choice of words, you didn’t seem to care about their public image the day you made Bucky break into the funfair & go on all the rides after hours, so why would you care now? You were too busy retrieving your phone & checking your message from Bucky to notice her intense focus on you, he had sent the most adorable selfie with Burtie.

Natasha watched your face light up as you bounced on your feet presumably texting Bucky back, something wasn’t adding up & she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

‘Why did you have a meeting with PR & Tony last week?’

The room suddenly started heating up, ‘Nat what are you getting at?’ deflect, deflect, deflect, you would have to come clean eventually but not yet, you liked pretending with Bucky & having him glued to your side all the time, you didn’t want it to end.

‘What is going on? I can read you like a book, you were a beam of sunshine replying to him, then I ask a question & I can see steam coming out of your ears from you thinking so hard, something is going on, you would have said something about dating him, it’s all too sudden & weird with the moving into the tower to then move in together, meetings with PR, custom gowns Tony insists you have, ice cream on tap that only you & Bucky can have ...’

You interrupted ‘I asked for the ice cream.’

‘But why would he give you that & Bucky specifically?’

‘Bucky likes Ice cream, I wanted him to have something nice. Tony gives me whatever I want’ You gestured around with your arms to your surroundings.

‘You don’t want any of this.’

‘Why do you have such a problem with me & Bucky? Are you jealous that he didn’t say yes to you?’ Low blow, you regretted it immediately, Bucky didn’t go for you either, but it might stop her.

‘I couldn’t ever compete with you so no, I just wanted someone for the night, I knew he would be a good fuck so went for it.’

You cringed at her words hating that she thought of Bucky like that … like you do. ‘There’s nothing to compete with.’

‘That, that is exactly what I mean when I say something isn’t right. You say he’d never go for someone like you, there’s nothing to compete with, all the self-deprecating shit. But he did go for you, why are you saying that?’

You shrug, ‘I guess it’s hard getting out that mentality when you’re used to every guy you date using you to get to Natasha Romanoff, to never really want you, for you to never be good enough.’ Your eyes glossed over & you tried to blink away some tears, turning on the waterworks always got Nat off your back.

‘Honey, you could ask that man to saw his arm off, get him to slap himself with it & he’d say thank you, he’s that gone for you. There is something more going on & you’re not telling me, fine, but know that you are good enough for anyone if you have deemed them good enough for yourself, because most of them aren’t even in the realm of deserving you, Bucky included. As for him not wanting you, that dude has a boner every time you’re in his lap which is 24/7 at the moment, I’m surprised he’s not fainted.’

Thankfully Valentina reappeared & put an end to Nat’s probing questions, you managed to stay on casual topics of discussions but felt so shitty for lying & accusing her of being jealous, there was literally nothing to be jealous about.

Bucky watched as you removed layer after layer of clothes stripping down to the sinfully tight shorts & t-shirt you made sure to wear for your fitting, something was on your mind, he could tell the second your smile didn’t reach your eyes when you stomped into the bedroom, once you had crawled into the warm cocoon he had maintained all morning & settled you let out a big sigh.

‘What’s wrong Bambi?’ he pulled you directly on top of him, it always thrilled you how he managed to manhandle you with such ease, he was so warm & held you firmly in place with your head tucked under his chin running his fingers up & down your spine, Burtie was curled up next to him giving you little kisses as you stroked him absentmindedly.

You shrugged, ‘Just feel like shit lying to Nat, she kept asking questions trying to find out what’s going on, she saw we went into a meeting with the PR.’

‘What lies have you actually told her?’ He really didn’t want to suggest letting the others in on the mission because then he’d have no excuse to pull you on to his lap all the time, he wouldn’t be able to stare at you all the time without anyone thinking he was being a creep. Once he worked out how to ask you to be his girl then it wouldn’t matter but for now keeping up with the façade in front of your friends meant he got the maximum time with you.

‘None technically, but I did accuse her of being jealous that you’re with me which is so dumb because you’re .. you’re not really.’ Your sentence tapered off at the end, you hated saying out loud despite it being true.

‘I dunno Doll, sort of feels like you’re with me right now.’ He squeezed you & placed a kiss on your head, ‘Why would she be jealous?’

‘Because she hit on you once.’

He chuckled at that, ‘I don’t think she did.’

‘Yeah she did, she said she tried to sleep with you because she thought you’d be a good…’ you stuttered saying it to him.

‘A good what Bambi?’

‘A good … fuck, you didn’t know she was trying to sleep with you?’ well that explains why he turned her down, you thought, he didn’t even know she was hitting on him. 

‘No.’

‘After all this I can have a word with her about it … if you want.’

‘Why would I want that?’

‘Dunno, Nat is like the ideal woman, most guys go for her or try to anyway.’

‘Natasha isn’t the one I want моя любовь (my love)’

‘oh, ok.’

‘Any way enough about her, you’ve not told any lies so don’t feel bad. She’s being too nosey. How was your fitting?’

‘Good, there was this fabric that I chose that will make me look like C3PO.’

‘You’d look amazing in a paper bag красивая’(beautiful)

‘Thanks Bucky Bear, can you believe she said you weren’t a big teddy bear too.’

‘I’m not, just for you Doll.’

You looked up at him ‘Just for me?’

‘You think I’m like this with anyone else?’

You shrugged your shoulders.

‘Well I’m not, only for you.’

You beamed at him, ‘If I asked you to chop off you arm & slap yourself with it would you do it?’

He laughed & did his nose scrunch thing that you loved so much, ‘where did that come from Bambi?’

‘Just something Nat said.’

He looked down at you as you looked up at him, your head still resting against his chest, ‘yeah I probably would, please don’t ask though.’

‘Never.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

You leaned upwards & nuzzled your nose into his jaw, Bucky held you tighter & leaned down to kiss you delicately, there wasn’t a camera or excuse in sight.

‘we should watch a movie, have you eaten?’

You were tucked back into his neck trying to stifle the smile spreading on your face, you were tempted to wiggle your hips to see if the other theory Nat had was accurate. 

---

Better late than never, right? The party was in full swing when you finally arrived, getting glammed up for an event felt almost like a workout with The Black Widow, you rejected Tony’s offer with great offence when he offered you a ‘team’ to help you, like you needed a team. Rude. You had hair removed, moisturised, preened, curled, makeup’d yourself to within an inch of your life, Valentina you discovered understood the assignment perfectly, the dress was stunning, a metallic gold almost chainmail type fabric sewn in a simple silhouette that fit you like a glove, dare you say you looked good. 

The black glittery floor sparkled like the night’s sky underneath the guests who had already taken to the dance floor, the up-tempo jazz number being played by the band complimented the buzzing atmosphere perfectly, the waiters were carrying trays of drinks amongst the sea of people & Tony Stark was lapping up all the attention of his sycophant yes men & the press hanging on his every word. A successful soiree in the eyes of Iron Man, he just needed the special guest to arrive, he had half an eye on the stairs most of the night so let out a relieved breath when you finally graced the room with your presence.

It was easy to spot your Super Solider at the bar when you scanned the crowd, he stood out in all his glory, tall, dark & handsome. The black suit he wore was tailored to his shape wonderfully, highlighting his broad shoulders & tapering down to his slim waist, whilst his trousers were strained from his gloriously thick thighs, topping it all off his hair was slicked back showing off every inch of his pretty face, he had you melting into a puddle on the floor, he looked so fucking hot. 

When he spotted you, his eyes lit up & a broad smile crossed his face, he was the most beautiful person you had ever seen, a claim that Bucky would dispute until the day he died seeing you in your gold sparkly dress, curled bouncy hair & flawlessly beautiful smile, you looked like a fucking Oscar. This was the perfect excuse to kiss you again, there were cameras everywhere & although he would have to control his hands & cock he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to connect his lips with yours again, he praised the lord you weren’t wearing red lipstick so that he could kiss you silly all night without ruining your makeup.

He made his way towards the bottom of the stairs where you met him, he took your hand in his & placed a kiss on your knuckles.

‘Hi Bambi.’

‘Hi Bucky.’

He was right in front of you as you stood on the first step, you were at eye level with the gorgeous man for a change thanks to the step & exceptionally high heels that you couldn’t wait to ditch, his arm snaked around you holding you firmly & as per the norm his lips were at your ear.

‘You look absolutely breath-taking Doll.’ You pulled back a little, so that you could see him in all his glory.

‘Thank you, you look so handsome.’ His scrunchy face smile made you want to cry it was so sweet, you couldn’t resist pinching his chin & as his hands brought you closer to him his eyes were focused on your lips.

‘I think we should kiss now … for the cameras.’

Nodding eagerly at him you hadn’t even noticed all of the eyes that had been focused on you since your arrival let alone the cameras pointing in your direction.

Your lips met, somewhat respectfully for a public place, you’d lost count of how many kisses you had shared at this point but each one somehow felt different than the last, this one was long, tender with just a smidgen of desperation conveying how much you both missed being connected to each other, you decided right then & there that the right amount of time between kisses was 0.165 seconds not days like the torture you had just endured.

Tony rolled his eyes after he witnessed the first kiss & you clearly giving Bucky an excuse for another the way he went in on you for the next, he did believe you when you said nothing had happened, but he felt more uneasy at that, than if you had. You two were oblivious to the feelings you shared & he wanted to knock your heads together to get you to see sense.

Having remembered you were in a public setting you retracted your tongue from Bucky’s mouth & with his firm arm around your waist he plucked you off the step, turned around & placed you on the floor with a kiss on the nose. He brushed his hand down your arm & weaved his fingers through yours then headed towards the bar with you in tow where you friends were gathered.

‘Lady Tiny, you look simply wonderful tonight.’ 

‘Thanks sparkles, you too.’ You reached up to Thor to give him a hug but with Bucky not letting go of your hand it was an awkward half hug & he made sure to swiftly pull you back to his vicinity after.

He practically growled ‘Let me get you a drink Doll.’ into your ear

‘I’ll have a watermelon paloma please.’ You waited at the bar whilst your drink was being prepared, Bucky snaked his arms around you & leaned his head on your shoulder. If people didn’t know you were taken before Bucky sure was making it obvious, your feminist ideologies regarding possessive men were being firmly overruled by your inner cavewoman wanting him to take you right there on the dancefloor so everyone knew who belonged to. Not that he would.

Even with a Bucky shaped barnacle attached to you, you were enjoying catching up with your friends & wider colleagues that you didn’t get to see very often, Tony interrupting the festivities irritated you no end, ‘Bonnie, Clyde you’re with me.’ You rolled your eyes at the thought of being paraded round the higher ups like you were a show pony, unfortunately it was part of the gig, your least favourite part but you plastered on a smile & held out your hand to Senator Graham. 

Instead of shaking he went in for the kiss, his damp lips on your knuckles made you shudder & Bucky was practically on the verge of swinging for him before you retracted your hand, whipping it on Bucky’s suit in disgust, his arm was quick to secure you to his side.

You knew politicians were awful people, but this guy was the worst, anything that came out of his mouth had your skin crawling & your eye twitching with rage, how Tony could associate with these monsters was beyond you, he did look horrified at some of the statements but the Senator somehow managed to surpass the previous one in tactlessness each time.

Unfortunately, he decided to be bold with a question pointed at you ‘I’m just curious, all eyes are on you this evening, you’re an avenger, I’m told highly intelligent, you could have any guy you wanted. Why him?’

Bucky was squeezing your hand trying to get you to focus on him & not the rage you felt was currently on the brink of spewing out.

You gritted your teeth trying to form some words that didn’t get you arrested, ‘You speak about him as though he’s not here, not human?’

‘Some would think an assassin who was responsible for the deaths of countless people isn’t.’

‘Doll, it’s fine. It was nice meeting you sir.’ He sounded so defeated & so incredibly belittled.

‘Could you be ruder to my team Graham?’ Tony was mortified that someone would speak about Bucky that way, yes, he had his issues at first, but it didn’t take long for him to recognise that Bucky wasn’t the man that killed his parents, he was a victim just as much as his parents were.

‘No, it’s not Bucky.’ You narrowed your eyes at Senator Graham ‘this man is without doubt the bravest person I have ever met, he’d lay down his life for me without question, hell he’d do it for you because he’s inherently a good man. He was tortured for 70 years because he was left behind by his comrades, presumed dead & I can’t imagine how many times he wished he were when Hydra we’re breaking him, I’ve read the files, I know how long it took them. He’s stronger than me & I have no doubt he’s stronger than you, you would have snapped like a twig. So, lets see, brave & strong, he’s caring, loyal, he protects me & let’s face it the most gorgeous man in the room, he makes me laugh & he puts up with me. He's worth a million of you. Also, FYI, the serum enhances EVERYTHING.’ You wiggled your brows whilst Bucky looked proud of himself, god he loved you so fucking much, it was bursting out of him at this point.

‘Night Graham it was a displeasure to meet you. ’You grabbed Bucky & walked away, his arms were around you & he pressed himself to you firmly with his head at the back of your neck.

‘You didn’t have to say all that Bambi.’

‘Yes, I did, there wasn’t one single lie in what I said … & I just assumed the serum thing.’

‘I was already enhanced before the serum darlin’ He pressed further into you & you lost all feeling in your legs. ‘Come dance with me sweetheart.’

You felt like you were floating, fuck living in reality, you could just stay in this version of your life where you were Bucky’s girl & he made your stomach explode with butterflies at every touch.

You danced & drank & laughed & kissed until you were being dragged upstairs by the others, neither you or Bucky wanted the event to end because you had free reign to be with each other to your heart’s desire, all the excuses were lined up every time ready for your lips to meet.

---- 

The lounge lights were dimmed when you all gathered back together having changed from your formal clothes into your comfies, you had some fluffy socks, ribbed leggings & Bucky’s hoodie on, all he wanted to do was feel what was underneath when he saw you in it, he suspected nothing. Although people vied to be invited to one of Tony’s prestigious parties very few knew about the after parties & even fewer were invited, this was strictly reserved for the team & Burtie of course.

It was more like a family debrief post party than a party, everyone would relax, share some drinks & gossip about who hooked up earlier in the night, occasionally it would get wild with drinking games & it would seem Natasha was up for the latter this particular evening.

‘Roll up, roll up, roll up, shots for us mortals, Asguardian Ale for the God & Super soldiers, spring water for the puppy, it’s truth or dare time.’

Your eyes immediately found Bucky’s, shit. He had taken a seat on the armchair in front of you & pulled you onto his lap, ‘It’s ok Bambi, relax.’ he snuggled you further into him & brushed some hair out of your face. 

Of course, the first spin landed on him, Natasha seemed to take up the maestro role with vigour, ‘Ok Buckaroo, what changed things with Bambi? What moment did you think ‘I want to fuck her’ rather than be her friend?’  You rolled your eyes & didn’t miss the shift of legs under you at the question.

‘Seriously Nat?’ Steve was blushing at her terminology.

‘What? I want to know what he loves about my friend, I haven’t approved of this yet so there’s a few things I need to know.’

You knew what she was trying to do, it was sort of sweet, but Nat didn’t do sweet, so you knew there was an ulterior motive to it.

‘What do I love about her, do you have a notepad? What changed? I opened my eyes one day & saw someone who I would do anything for, no matter how ridiculous.’

Without pause Natasha stated matter of factly ‘We’d all do that for her.’ 

‘Hear hear.’ You smiled at your friends, family all raising their glasses & lingered on Tony for everything he’d done for you.

‘Ok, I’d kill anyone of you to save her, without a second thought.’

Her eyebrow shot up ‘Steve included?’

With a single nod he confirmed ‘Steve included.’ Your eyes found Steve across the coffee table & saw the fondness he held for his friend, there was no malice in the look, he almost looked proud of him. Suck it Rogers, you’ve been replaced.

Bucky bent forward & span the bottle, being that you were sat in his lap you folded over as he did it, his broad chest pressed against you & he couldn’t help peppering kisses up your spine as you both moved back into your previous position. You shifted your legs desperate for some friction which Bucky noticed & as he guided you back to his chest his hands made their way underneath your jumper & he held your waist, the contrast in temperature between his hands set your skin on fire.

The bottle span all the way around the table typically landing on you.

You giggled knowing Bucky would be asking you the question ‘Truth’

He playfully tickled your sides whilst he came up with his question ‘What do you love most about me Bambi?’

‘Yawn, boring. What does Bucky like in bed?’ you knew Nat would be after salacious details.

You smirked knowing how annoyed she would be with your answer ‘Movies, pizza & cuddles.’ You could feel Bucky nodding his head behind you laughing at you outsmarting the former assassin.

‘Correct answer kid.’ Tony doffed an imaginary hat to you & you twirled your hand to him like you were both Victorian aristocrats. 

You tipped your head to the side to answer the original question ‘& the thing I love most about you is how safe & cherished I feel whenever we’re together.’

As you leant forward towards the bottle Bucky held you in a tighter grip, you turned back to him & the look in his eyes took your breath away, dare you think it was love? He placed a languid kiss on your lips, softer than any kiss you had shared, so relaxed & natural as if you had been kissing him all your life. When his grip loosened slightly you wriggled out of his grasp & span the bottle, again it went past all the other players & landed on Bucky.

You rolled your eyes ‘Is this thing rigged?’

Quick as a flash Natasha answered arousing further suspicions ‘Nope.’

Having replaced his hands underneath your hoodie higher up than before you could feel your heart rate picking up, he nuzzled into the back of your neck & in his deep quiet voice he made his choice.

‘Truth Bambi.’

You wiggled on his lap in thought, ‘Mmmmm’ his grip on you tightened & as he removed one hand from your side he grazed your nipple with his vibranium finger, your breath hitched & your thighs clenched together from the sensation. He brushed your hair off one shoulder, so he had some available skin to place his lips & his hand returned to your body. If he moved it higher he could cup your flesh fully, you were desperate for this man & as much as you loved sharing a bed you wanted a night to yourself & your imagination to work out these frustrations.

Sam interrupted your sinful thoughts with one of his own.

‘How many rooms have y’all christened?’ The whole room practically groaned.

‘None.’ You answered for Bucky.

‘Take a shot, you lyin’.’ He was gleefully pointing at the pair of you.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘I just want to know what not to sit on.’

‘I told you none, I’m a good girl’ you felt Bucky shift underneath you & you couldn’t help a glance back to him, if you weren’t already turned on, the look on his face would have you dripping in an instant. A quick flick of his wrist & the bottle finally landed on someone else leaving you & Bucky a private moment.

He whispered into your neck ‘What does Sam’s question mean Bambi?’

‘He was asking how many rooms have we had sex in’

‘Oh’ he couldn’t help thinking that answer would be changing very quickly if you looked at him like that again, he pulled you back to his chest & wrapped both arms around you & you rested yours against his, he was trying to control himself but with you sat directly on his cock constantly wiggling around it was proving a challenge.

The game carried on with some other participants in the next few rounds, you discovered Thor cried when he watched Moana twice, Bruce once went full hulk during sex when she decided that choking him was a good idea, thankfully the woman was fine, the first time Steve had sex after being defrosted he lasted 18 seconds & Scott has a teddy bear he sleeps with every night called Mr Cuddles. You were enjoying your reprieve until it landed back on you. The bottle giveth & the bottle taketh away all dignity.

Hesitantly you grumbled ‘Truth’

Natasha didn’t hesitate ‘How did you get shot?’

Your eyes widened fuck ‘Ok, dare’ you stuck out your tongue. 

‘Ok Bambi, I dare you to tell Bucky & the group how you were shot.’ Crumbs, damn those street smarts, her smug look was your least favourite, only Tony & Nat knew how you were shot & you made them promise not to tell anyone else so this humiliation would be worse than just confessing it to Bucky, everyone would know. You were sure they’d have a secret vote to kick you off the team after this, Bucky would be on your side because duhh, Tony too but you doubted there would be any more when they realised what a dumb ass you were.

‘No fair.’ You pouted & crossed your arms, you could feel Bucky’s thumb stroking your scarred skin under your hoodie & comforting you as always. Ugh you loved him so much.

‘You can tell me sweetheart, I might have to hunt them down afterwards & teach them a lesson, but I won’t think any less of you. Promise.’

You turned to him to look him in his eyes ‘Promise?’

‘I promise darlin’’ he hooked his pinky finger in yours.

‘Ok fine.’ Bucky sat you both upright with his chin resting on your shoulder, he held you tightly trying to reassure you that he would be right here with you, although he would have to control his overwhelming need to find whoever did it & harm them. 

‘So, I was in the field when it happened.’ You recalled. ‘On a mission with Tony & Nat doing some reconnaissance, it was a typical hydra hideout at first sight, so I hacked the door mechanism to get us in the base & we quickly realised what there were agents still active, lots of them’ Bucky’s heart rate picked up at the mention of Hydra, he placed a kiss on your shoulder in attempt to self soothe, he thought that he couldn’t hate them more but to know they hurt the woman he loved was triggering his rage. 

Before continuing you reached to the back of Bucky’s neck with your hand to play with his hair, you noticed how tense he got when you mentioned his former captives, ‘& you all know I don’t really do combat type missions, so I was a bit nervous right because I was armed & I hate guns. So, we’re there all guns blazing or ‘flickering’ for me as Nat kept saying shooting the idiots, Tony kept telling me off every time I shot an agent which was pissing me off.’ You narrowed your eyes at him.

‘Kid, you kept shouting ‘that’s for Bucky mother fukka’ & giving them the finger, it was a tad distracting.’

Bucky squeezed you tightly, smiling from ear to ear, you were an actual angel, you glanced back at him smiling knowing how much he would have loved you doing that despite it giving away your position to anyone within earshot.

‘Anyway, I was on fire right, pow one guy down, pow another, I tripped over one of them but that was ok, my knee kind of hurt but hey they didn’t expect someone on the floor so pow got one in the ankle.’

‘I mean it was kind of amazing, she was like a beached whale wriggling about with a gun shooting anything in sight.’ Nat laughed recalling the memory.

 ‘Firstly, whale? ouch, I prefer to think that I looked like an elegant mermaid. But yeah, I deserve a medal of honour or something for that day, anyway so we swept the base, I got a few more ‘James Buchanan Barnes sends his regards.’ pow’s in, no finger, kept those ones classy.’ Bucky was giggling behind you, he could listen to you talk all day, you could read him the fucking dictionary & he would be in heaven but your stories no matter how wild & long were always his favourite.

‘So yeah, we completed the mission, got the information & then headed back to the quinjet.’

‘Wait, so how did you get shot?’ Steve looked at his whits end, he rarely listened to you recalling missions due to all the tangents you found yourself going off on, so waiting for the actual information was a massive test of his patience.

‘Oh, so we were walking back to the quinjet right & Tony was blasting some AC/DC so naturally I started air guitaring … with my gun, turns out the safety was off & I shot myself.’ You shrugged, you felt Bucky shaking with laughter whilst your friends were uncontrollably laughing at you, Scott actually fell on the floor. You pouted, ‘It hurt’. Bucky managed to stifle his laughter pulling you off him so that you were standing between his legs, he slowly lifted his hoodie & gently placed a soft kiss on your scar.

‘Better?’ 

You were rendered speechless & could only muster a nod before he pulled you back to his lap, Tony was watching you both thinking you were idiots hoping the next time it landed on either of you he would force a confession from you both.

-

You were more than drunk, everyone was feeling the shots & Ale, Bucky was particularly handsy & having ventured even higher north under your hoodie after discovering his assumption was correct & that you were braless his hands were almost cupping you, teetering on it, painfully so. Somehow the game hadn’t descended into complete chaos, but Tony had stormed up to his apartment after a particularly embarrassing question you had asked muttering something about how he didn’t get to ask his question. Like you weren’t going to bring up the knowledge that he subscribed to the onlyfeet website, you had acquired the information & had been sitting on it since seeing his credit card bill when Pepper was questioning your $10,000 donation to a petition to bring out a mustard topped hot dog emoji. She thought it was an unreasonable expense, you argued it was vital because that was Bucky’s hotdog order & he got mad with the sole ketchup option. Perfectly reasonable you thought & guess what, there is now a hotdog emoji with mustard, you’re welcome world.

The bottle landed on Bucky again, the group seemed to have run out of steam with their probing questions about the two of you, you realised that you’d never actually told them you were dating Bucky, they just assumed, so you hadn’t actually told them a single lie at any point, Bucky said the moving in one so every question you answered was answered truthfully but the question on your lips had been gnawing at you for days, chipping away at you in the back of your mind whenever Bucky held you or kissed you, it needed answering & you were just drunk enough to ask it. 

You were suddenly shy, you wouldn’t ever ask it without some form of alcohol involved for fear of humiliation, but you hesitantly turned to him, ‘k I’ve got a question, but gotta be private.’

You looked over you shoulder at Natasha winking in her direction, you knew she would allow it if she thought you were whispering a filthy sex related question, it wasn’t but you didn’t want anyone else hearing what you were so desperate to ask.

You straightened up, slightly wobbly trying to balance yourself on Bucky’s leg, when he worked out that you were trying to face him he picked you up by your waist, turned you around so you were straddling his thighs, he sat up to meet you upright & you draped your arms over his shoulder, his hands pulled you forward with your butt cheeks, your centre dragging deliciously against him in the process & your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure.

His lips found your neck & he slowly dragged them across your skin to your ear, you definitely were moving your hips & for once he wasn’t stopping you ‘I don’t remember sayin truth doll.’ His dominating tone had you tingling, you couldn’t imagine what it felt like to be on your knees for him whilst he told you exactly what to do & how he liked it doing.

You held his face in your hands to look him in the eyes, he could see the desperation in your eyes for whatever you wanted to ask him, you whispered ‘Say it.’ 

‘Truth.’

You leaned in placing your mouth at his ear, his arms protectively wrapped around you, he knew what you were about to say was only for him & he didn’t want anyone else in your bubble. He knew it wouldn’t be anything rude from the overexaggerated way you winked at Nat, you were so smart you could play the best of them like a fiddle even when drunk.

‘Bucky Bear?’

‘Yes Bambi?’

‘Do you think .. that… if..’

‘Ask me sweetheart, you can ask me anything.’

 You gulped & let out a shaky breath, now or never.

‘If … if I get a little prettier, can I be your baby?’

He pulled you away from his ear, your head clutched in his hands, he should have been jumping for joy, you literally asking to be his girl, the thing he was too afraid to do but why would you ask it like that? How could you think he would want anyone but you, that you weren’t pretty enough? He could see your eyes glossed over & he didn’t hesitate to pull your face to his & smash his lips to yours, you could hear everyone whooping & hollering at the show you were giving them as he put everything he had into kissing you, pulling you as close as you could get to him. 

‘Good practice kiss.’ You whispered against his lips.

‘That wasn’t a practice Bambi.’ He followed up with a tender kiss before he rested his head against yours. ‘You are the dumbest smart person I’ve ever known, been trying to show you that I want you to be my girl & that I fucking adore you, you know that Bambi?’

You shook you head as he ran his thumb over your lip, ‘you’re perfect, too good for me, too god damn sweet.’ He softly parted your lips, pushing his thumb into your mouth, you slowly latched around it, taking it deeper & sucking it, his eyes fluttered shut & he swore he was about to cum in his joggers just from this. Thankfully the others had lost interest & you two were left in your own little world, no one could see what you were doing with your body blocking the view of the fucked out Super Soldier you were currently sat on. ‘Fuck Bambi, you gonna be my good girl?’ with his vibranium hand he pulled you back & fourth on his lap, you could feel his hard length rubbing against your folds, the friction felt like every nerve in your body was being set alight. His eyes were dark watching you suck on his thumb & writhe on his lap looking so fucking fuckable.

You nodded as his lips were back at your neck trailing kisses up to your ear, you let out a quiet moan which was music to Bucky’s ears, he wanted to know what you sounded like when you were cumming on his cock, in his mouth, on his fingers.

‘You think I’d be this hard for someone who wasn’t the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, someone who makes my heart stop every time they look at me, someone who I have to tear myself away from at times just to not fuck them senseless every second of the day.’ He pulled his thumb away from your mouth, his hand stroked up your side underneath his hoodie, fuck he loved you wearing his clothes, they moved higher & higher until he was cupping your flesh, his damp thumb toying with your nipple.

‘Well you do Bambi, my sweet baby girl, you’re mine.’

At those words your lips were melded together again, with his prosthetic palm firmly against your back he stood you both up from the sofa, ‘Bedtime Bambi.’ Without thought your legs were crossed behind his back, you plucked Burtie out of Scotts’s arms when Bucky lowered you to collect your puppy before marching out of the party, completely unashamed of the obvious erection he was sporting.

With Bucky pinning you against a wall every 10 steps to kiss some part of you, the walk back to your room was slow, his stubble stung your skin & the thought of it doing the same thing between your legs made you grind down on him the whole way. 

He slowly lowered you to the bed once you put Burtie down for the night, his whole body covered you & the combination of warmth & pressure had you in a trance, you always felt so safe with him, the prospect of your relationship changing after tonight didn’t worry you, it excited you like nothing else. You were his, he was yours.

He managed some sentences between kisses ‘We can do anything tonight, we’ve both been drinking, I’m not that kind of guy.’

You were so turned on by him you couldn’t help but sulk, you didn’t need to be sober to know this was what you wanted. You were protesting in your head trying to find a way to say it without sounding desperate.

‘Don’t you dare pout Bambi, thought you were going to be a good girl, my good girl’

You whispered, ‘I am your good girl.’

‘Then you need to know that it’s killing me to not fuck that pout off your face, to show you everything I’ve dreamt of doing whilst touching my cock every god damn minute of the day that I’m not with you.’ He rolled his hips into you hitting you right on your centre, the moan you exhaled could send Bucky to the grave it was so sinful.

‘That’s what you’ve been doing?’

‘Yes darlin’’ he leaned back in with a tender kiss.

‘That’s hot’

‘Glad you think so, do you touch yourself & think of me?’

‘Yes… all the time’

‘Fuck, I shouldn’t have asked that. Let me take you out on a date, one I can plan. Just you & me, then I’ll bring you back to my place & fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk straight.’

‘Please touch me Bucky.’

‘Oh I love the sound of you begging for me … ‘

‘Please Sargent.’ You sounded desperate, you were desperate feeling this man’s length pressed against you.

‘Fuck Bambi.’ His resolve was crumbling quickly but he needed to do right by you, he had the rest of his life to have sex with you so one more night wouldn’t kill either of you, when it did happen he wanted to take his time, make sure you remember every touch every word he said when he worshiped you like you deserved. He doubled down & pulled away.

‘Let’s get some sleep darlin’, I’ll still be here tomorrow & every night after if you’ll take me.’

Your eyelids were getting heavier & you nodded, maybe you had more drinks than you thought. He shimmied you out of your leggings & you managed to get Bucky’s hoodie off over your head leaving you just in your panties.

He took the sight of you in, ‘Fuck, you’re perfect.’ He couldn’t help his hand reaching out & kneading your chest, toying with your nipples, he wanted to put his mouth around them.

‘Your turn.’ You felt so shy saying it, you knew nothing was happening tonight but seeing each other so bare was thrilling for you both, to be able to lie in each other’s arms completely exposed felt even more intimate than having sex would.

You watched in awe as Bucky stripped down to his boxers, ‘You’re so beautiful.’ You gently caressed the scarred skin, tracing down to his abs, his breath hitched the lower you went & it took all your strength not to touch his cock.

He pulled back the covers & waited for you to get into the bed first, once you had situated yourself he slid in behind you & cocooned you with the blanket making sure every inch of you was covered. He was still hard & you could feel him pressed against you, a wiggle of your hips had him groaning.

‘Bambi.’ His warning came out has a half moan half whine, it was exhilarating turning this big man into a moaning mess behind you.

‘What? I’m just getting comfy.’ You continued wiggling & toying with him, his hands held your hips & you could feel him pushing his into yours.

‘Sleep time, don’t make me go to my room.’ You ceased your movements & giggled at his very hollow threat.

‘I’ll be good. Promise.’ One last wiggle & you shut your eyes smiling as Bucky groaned behind you.

‘Night Bucky.’ 

‘Night Bambi.’

A/N: That hot dog petition is a real online petition!! Thank you for reading, your comments & feedback always make my day!!

TAG List:

@captain-asguard @clockblobber @marvel-fanfic-writer-8675 @lily-clark163 @kingfleury @mochie85 @val-writesstuff @enchantedbarnes @anonymously-ominous @criticaltrinket @enlyume @getofffmydick @sebsgirl71479 @nash-dara @tanyaspartak @cjand10 @spicoli-waves @ifilwtmfc @happytimeunicorns @sarapolare @buggy14 @kaiparker-avengerssmut @ka-x-in @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @justab-eautifulmess @openup-yourmind @namelessav @queen-mal @nikkig496-blog @mooievis @julesclues @l3itchy-but-cute @beware-my-thorns @giftedyoungster3000 @capswife @morganmofresh @buckyslucky @dev76ser @likeit-or-leaveit @blithecapricorn @redbarn1995 @intense-sneezing @littlelizardlizzie

#bucky fanfic #buck smut #james buchanan barnes #sebastian stan #marvel fanfic series #james barnes #bucky x you #marvel mcu #bucky imagine #avengers #bucky barnes smut #bucky barns fanfiction #marvel

[causesciencethatswhy]

https://www.tumblr.com/causesciencethatswhy/742925680934862848/nothing-more-annoying-than-supposed-neutral-fans

this might be a bit late but it’s just so perplexing and interesting to me how tkers a) have an absurd level of influence on the entire fandom and b) are legitimately much more insane than most delusional shippers even larries

as someone who was a tween when shipping really started to become a thing on the internet its fascinating (and disturbing) to see how it has gone from a casual and harmless “wow they look good together and have chemistry i want to see more of that” to “here is an entire dissertation’s worth of bogus theory about a same-sex pairing despite me being ragingly homophobic and probably mysoginistic.”

how it went from an admiration of chemistry and attraction to actual clinical delusion in a matter of years needs to be studied.

anyhow, i was thinking about all of the discourse surrounding jimin, jk, and the buddy system and am shocked by a couple of things. first, the complete undermining of their friendship despite them being ridiculously close for years. whether you like their dynamic or not it’s literally impossible to deny that jk and jimin have been thick as thieves for (at least) the past 5 or 6 years. I became an army in 2019 so it has always been obvious to me that they are extremely close. sure, you can make the argument that they didn’t “hang out” as much during 2023 but there’s still a considerable amount of interactions between them, much more than most of the other members who no army second guesses how close they are (the biggest example being jimin and taehyung who we literally only saw interact towards the end of the year).

second is how people literally pretend taennie never happened. hell, i think more people believe the blurry jk apartment video than they believe th and jn we’re in a real relationship for almost 2 years. there’s actual pictures of him on her BED with her kitty (a literal one) and you’ll still see majority of armys act like it never happened. yes, their privacy was horribly invaded but everyone knows damn well that is not the reason why most armys choose to ignore that relationship and then go and gush about him and IU.

though these two things might seem unrelated, i think both of these narratives that have always been pushed by tkers and have successfully crossed over to supposedly non-shipper armys and demonstrate just how influential tker theory is on the fandom.

this is exactly why i won’t really sweat over whatever a tkker says. if taehyung was in a long-term relationship for years that is confirmed by DOZENS of personal pictures through different dates, months, and locations but they still want to deny it… there’s simply nothing to reason with there. its just a waste of time and space. there’s a chance jikook have not been or are not more than close friends but there’s no chance th was with anyone other than jennie for the past 2 years in what is looked like the most serious relationship he’s ever had.

i feel bad for him too even if i feel he sometimes stokes the flames of shippers. imagine breaking up w your most serious partner ever, grieving that relationship AND your normal life since you’ll soon be part of the military for 2 years and all the while your “fans” are picking apart and making up insane theories about you and your friend.

I agree with most of what you say anon.

Of course we can't know for sure what the nature of jkks relationship last year was but I'm way more inclined to believe that their bond is still going as strong as it was before not just because of the buddy system news but purely because the ease and doting nature of the interactions we saw last year has remained the same.

And you're right, nothing will ever convince tkkrs to really just see the truth for what it is. There's always an alternative explanation, an alternative enemy to set your eyes on, an alternative ploy by the company to break the tkkr spirit. It's quite ridiculous. I think the worst thing with the taennie situation was that the whole 'It's an edit!! It's an impersonator!! It's a PR move by Jen/nie!!" Was that it wasn't just tkkrs buying into this. It was a majority of armys. The general fandom now looks back on taennie as 'a conspiracy to defame tae (except armys and blinks were the only ones who thought that these two adult humans possibly dating would be defamatory to either of them).

I legit had a very close irl army friend, whose not a shipper but still a pretty dedicated fan get into an argument with me because I told her that ppls reaction to tae dating was ridiculous. She word to word reiterated all the bs tkkr theories I had seen floating around and was unwilling to consider the possibility of them being made up conspiracies. I was genuinely surprised because she is generally very chill about these discourses but I guess the need to believe he wasn't dating a BP member took precedent over what the reality really was ??

Either way, it'll be interesting to see how they behave post 2025. I doubt they're going to calm down anytime soon with the jikook travel show on it's way. It's going to feed their theories as much as it's going to entertain the rest of us I'm afraid.

#jikook

[uchiwife]

Pairing : ItaSaku.🌸🍡 [ Modern AU.]

Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi.

Category: fluff. Attempt at humor.

WARNING(S): None

Word count : 595

a/n : English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse me for any mistakes I might commit in it. ꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

—

[One kiss is all it takes fallin’ in love with me. Possibilities, I look like all you need. Let me take the night, I love real easy and I know that you’ll still wanna see me. On the Sunday morning, music real loud. Let me love you while the moon is still out.♡]

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

“I think we should stop.”

“I think you're hideous.”

She frowned.

“I'm serious.”

“Are you? I thought we were playing "who can say the most absurd thing?" ”

“Hmph. You have no idea how much harassment I get just by pretending to be your girlfriend. It's exhausting, you know? These crazy girls feel like I stole you. Like you're the last Twix I took out of the vending machine.”

“You should ignore them. The agreement clearly stated that I would make sure you were in no real danger. They'll get over it.”

“Itachi, you don't understand! You're not the one who has to put up with the murderous looks. Really, at first I agreed because I could see that these girls had absolutely no respect for your personal space and you were being groped without consent. And you were too polite to even get angry. I know it's not in your temperament to yell either, but still.”

“Is it that hard for you, Sakura?”

“Yes.”

“All right, we'll stop then.”

She was surprised at first, which is ridiculous since she was the one who asked to stop, then she felt a twinge in her heart that she couldn't explain, but she preferred not to be distracted by this feeling.

“Oh. Thanks, Itachi. You don't know what—”

“I'm not finished. We stop pretending. Be my girlfriend for real.”

“WHAT? But how will that help me? It'll be even worse if I kiss you openly in public.”

Itachi smirked.

“Am I to understand that you want to kiss me in public, Sakura?”

The young woman stammered, her face red with embarrassment.

“NO! I mean...maybe. Yes, well no. Ugh I don't know okay!” Sakura glared at him. “And wipe that smug look off your face!”

“How eloquent you are, Miss Student Council President.”

With a last glare, the pinkette jumped on the dark-haired man, the latter very amused by the young girl's outburst. They ended up on the grassy ground of the courtyard, Sakura astride Itachi whose hands came to rest on her hips.“

“I hate you.”

“Yes, I could see that when you were literally undressing me with your eyes in P.E.”

“I didn't do that!”

“You did.”

She huffed.

“If you think I didn't notice you checking me out too!”

He snorted.

“I never hid my interest in you, Sakura. You were just too busy pining after Neji to notice that we could be good together.”

Sakura blushed furiously.

“I never chased after Neji! I just thought he was pretty with his long hair is all.”

“Of course.”

“Hey, it's the truth!”

“Hn. I'm sure you were just dreaming of asking him about his hair care routine.”

“Shut up! That was before!”

“Before what?”

She looked away, mumbling shyly.

“Beforeyou.”

“Sorry, what was that?”

She glared at him.

“I SAID BEFORE YOU.”

Itachi grinned.

“I'm flattered.”

She scoffed

“You should.”

“I am. But mostly I'm glad you dropped your fantasies about the Hyuuga.”

Sakura raised her hand to slap him on the shoulder but was intercepted by Itachi's grip as he grabbed her hands to pull her forward and press his lips to hers.

Surprised, Sakura took a second or two to react before relaxing and kissing back his sinful lips. A small moan escaped her as Itachi bit her bottom lip, causing her hips to grind against his.

It was Itachi's turn to grunt. His grip on her hips tightening as his tongue invaded Sakura's mouth, making it official that their relationship had begun and the one they claimed to have ended.

#SoundCloud #itasaku #uchiha itachi x haruno sakura #itachi x sakura #itachi uchiha #sakura haruno #naruto fandom #do not remove credit #naruto modern au #blur

[shallow-wordsalad]

mtg story spoilers ahead.

...in stark contrast to my last gigantic rant about MtG's story, the stories for March of the Machine were actually really good. by simple virtue of having more time and space to tell them, the consequences felt more real, the character's motivations and states were more explored, and the events that happened felt earned and were delivered well. characters actually died, and some lived - but not without cost. Nissa and Ajani get to live on, but at the cost of Karn's spark and Melira's life. Jace and Vraska's fates are unknown. Nahiri and Lukka are just plain dead (couldn't have happened to better people, tbh), and Tamiyo is...a...text-ghost?? which I presume is kind of like being dead - I can't imagine she still has her spark or her magic like that. it all feels very much like there was an *actual* gigantic battle, and it was costly to win, but there was a victory unquestionably.

the vignettes about the invasions of various planes were, on the whole, very good and really brought up the tension and fear of the Phyrexian invasions - making absolute monsters out of the invading zombie-robots that rightly inspire terror in everyone unfamiliar with them. the one about Zendikar was the Big Suck, but I'm gonna gloss over that one because it was mostly about Nahiri and honestly she gets what she deserves - not just narratively, but in quality of writing as well.

despite a really, *and I mean really* rough lead-in, I think March of the Machine is MtG finally getting the "epic, grand-scale battle" story right. Battle for Zendikar felt tropey and overhyping of the Gatewatch, taking out Ulamog and Kozilek *way* too early and frankly too easily. War of the Spark was--actually you know what let's just pretend War of the Spark never happened. but MoM felt good. The length of the story was just right, with plenty of ups and downs, rises and falls for the heroes, and - and this part is key - a lot of characters getting to matter. characters normally relegated to being B-list actors got to be major players and do things that were huge for them - Wrenn speaking with Realmbreaker and convincing it to save the planes (what a great moment, so obvious and yet I didn't think of it), Karn fighting his pacifism and guilt to kill a true evil that absolutely needed to die for the sake of everyone (yes!), Ral Zarek whopping Vraska in one blow (my boy), and all the legends of the planes fighting against the invasion in their own ways and in ways that fit the themes and tropes of those planes - not just throwing spells on a battlefield.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope we retain this level of quality for any future stories. and for god's sake please give the writers this much room to breathe for *everything* from here on - letting the writers have more chapters to write and more space to explore makes the writing *so* much better.

#mtg story #magic the gathering #march of the machine #i don't have any funny tags this time #it was actually good #though I guess Ral Zarek no-diffing Vraska was kinda hilarious #wrenn and teferi working together was cool #put Phyrexia in the time prison #for plane crimes #give the writers a raise #except whoever wrote that nahiri story #put them in the time prison for plane crimes #mtg #rant over

[watchinglikeafangirl]

I'm freaking out about my upcoming driving test. I absolutely don't feel ready, so here it is:

VegasPete - captured and hostage 2/2

This analysis is gonna be about the reunion scene.

Apparently it's a set-up by Porsche in Vegas' favor and I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. We ended with a very intense scene last time, saw both of them return to pretending in front of everyone else and crying on their own afterwards. I don't know if Pete has a trauma or not. He is so lost and sad all the time, I'm not sure if it's just a heartbreak or simply trauma or maybe both. Gonna need some help from you guys to figure that out because I would call it both, trauma and heartbreak, but the lines are very blurry.

When Porsche treats Pete's wounds, he protects Vegas. He fake-smiles with teary eyes and asks Porsche to pretend his truth is real. Then, Porsche dragged him outside and Pete looks even more lonely than before. Since all this socializing is too much for Pete, he goes outside to have a smoke. Smoking is in this show used as a symptom of stress. They only smoke when things are upsetting, we don't see anyone smoke randomly. So Pete going outside and fishing out a cigarette, is a clear sign he's not okay and tries to calm down. And outside, no one will see his sad face. Pretending to be okay is even harder when you're SO much not than when nothing is going on and it's just a general feeling you have. Pete is still broken, still affected by how he escaped Vegas and he can't pretend any more, he hides in the dark of the night.

But he forgot his lighter... and Vegas has one... of course he does. And just listen to me, I think this is a metaphor. Might be reading too much into this BUT Pete goes outside to smoke to calm his nerves but he can't do that on his own because he forgot his lighter. Thus he can only calm down and be himself with Vegas' help and company. Vegas can help him to smoke but accepting help from Vegas, who was never sincere and just selfish all the time, is not an option for Pete, so he spits out his cigarette and points his gun a Vegas. He's not having it, he's not accepting it.

Pete's face is very determined, he is extremely angry at Vegas, he wants him to pay - but not with his life. Pointing a gun at Vegas and not immediatly shooting like a bodyguard usually does, means he has an emotional connection with Vegas, it means he won't pull the trigger but it's a warning.

First, Vegas stays alterted but after a few seconds have passed, he grabs the gun and pushes Pete against the wall (or whatever it is). But here is why Vegas' way of dealing with this is still wrong. Pete pointing a gun means he wants them to keep a distance. Vegas is once again ignores Pete's needs and disrespects him completely by invading that personal space. In situations of conflict it is still important to respect and Pete communicates this very clearly.

"Get the heck out of my life!"

The inner resentment turns into a verbal one and then into a physical one because Pete pushes Vegas back by force. Vegas can't just push him, Pete puts him in his place. Pete is still not sure what he feels about Vegas being there. Vegas is the first and last person Pete wanted to see and you can see this inner struggle very well. When Vegas apologizes again, he starts crying. It's what he wanted to hear the whole time but it feels like Vegas doesn't mean it, didn't understand what Pete was saying in the first place. Once again, Vegas takes Pete's humanity and personal space by force because he simply wants to.

Then we get the next gun pointing but Pete is crying now. He can't shoot Vegas, we know that, but now, after this incident, he can't even point the gun at him because the warning is not meant wholeheartedly. At this point, I'm confused what Pete wants. He wants Vegas to not step closer but at the same time, forced physical contact is wished? He truly is torn between the resentment of trauma and the crave of touch because of his heartbreak.

"Are you gonna shoot me? Why don't you shoot me? Don't you want me to disappear? Shoot me already."

Since Pete lowers the gun a bit and doesn't seem to be a danger to Vegas and himself, Vegas steps closer until the gun is pressed against his chest/heart. It's a kind of peace offering. Something like: I made you hurt yourself, hurt you and now you can have closure." Or it's like he wants to die if it proves his point, that he really is sorry for all of it.

But at the same time, this comes across as some sort of manipulation and I don't like it. That's the thing, I know, Vegas is shady but by saying "Don't you want me to disappear" he speaks about deep desires Pete hides very deep inside him and feels bad about. He makes Pete feel bad about himself again. If Pete doesn't shoot, it proves the emotional bond, if he shoots, it proves the hatred. Both things are fatal. Both ways, he will look weak in his own eyes or in Vegas' eyes.

"I don't think you can. And you know why."

This right here provoces something in Pete he didn't even formulate in his head. So Pete completely breaks. It's a truth he didn't want to speak, afraid of the consequences.

Vegas pulls Pete in, heads reasting on shoulders and a hand to the neck. It's now Vegas supporting Pete and not the other way around. Right here is the turn I waited for because all that has happened in this scene was again about Vegas. He was sorry, he forced Pete to listen, he implied Pete is weak. But now it's about Pete and how much he suffers and how he is breaking down.

We see Pete is not entirely giving in and trusting Vegas because his hand moves up to Vegas' face but it lingeres for not even a second. This shows it's only the beginning of Vegas' redemption arc. Pete is the first person whose trust he needs to earn. Right now it's not all done, not over, not resolved. There's a lot left unsaid and I doubt it will all be done by the end of next week's episode.

Sadly their forheads only rest together for a short moment because they are being interupted by one of the people working at the bar. The following movement mirrors how fragile their relationship is. Vegas immediatly lets go of Pete and gets up. Pete is alone on the floor, forced to get up himself even if he obviously struggles to do so. I want to know what happened then because Pete looks to his side as soon as he stands and where is Vegas? Did he leave?

But I can't stop thinking about the way their faces change as soon as they hear someone else approaching. It shows how much they pretend for other people. The only person they trust won't judge the true colors is the other and no one else. The mask is put on the second the outside is involved. Bond fragile or not, they can't deny the way they relax around each other, how close to their true self they are.

Captured and hostage are no longer words describing them.

#vegaspete #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #thought this was gonna be so much shorter #but ahhh #i am a wreck

[jelliezellie]

"Nights Are The Worst." Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

First bnha fic!! Honestly, I've been avoiding writing bnha fics for a while (mostly because I heard the fandom was a bit scary) but I've loved the anime for years now!!

Reverse Comfort (kinda), Established Relationship, fluff, sleepy bakugo :)

Bakugo had been struggling with insomnia for years. He would try to go to bed early and sit in the silence and darkness for hours, getting angry the harder he tried to sleep. Since you had come along, it had gotten a bit better, but with insomnia, often comes nightmares and sleep paralysis.

Bakugo stirred in his sleep, waking your half-asleep self up completely. He mumbled something under his breath and you prayed he was just having a dream. But no, as he kicked his legs, you realized it was a nightmare. You sat up. "Katsuki," You whispered, nudging him gently. He whined in his sleep, a tear falling from his eye. Your heart sank to your stomach as you listened to him whisper, "No, no." You nudged him again, a bit harder this time, but he still wouldn't wake.

"Don't touch them," He pleaded to whoever was threatening lives in his sleep. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. He flinched and you finally shoved him.

He jolted upwards, gasping. You gazed at him, worry making your stomach twist and turn. "Katsuki," You whispered, kissing his tear-stained cheek. "It was just a nightmare."

He shook his head, clearing his throat. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry," He whispered, his breath shaky. Nights had been hard since he was captured by the League of Villains. You wrapped your arms around him. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Katsuki stayed silent momentarily. He hugged you back, squeezing you tight as if he was going to lose you. "Mhm," he began to explain how villains invaded U.A. and threatened several lives, killing some of the "extras" and finally, they attacked you. He knew you were strong, admired you for it, but he couldn't stand the thought of anyone attacking you. Especially when there were several villains, all at once. He tried to save you in his nightmare, but he couldn't move. "Nights are the worst," He said, his lips trembling, "I can't control how I feel when I sleep." You understood - he couldn't yell at people or intimidate them by screaming "DIE!" in their faces. His cold exterior was his safety blanket, and he couldn't use it in his nightmares; his subconscious knew everything.

You held him close, kissing his forehead. "Baby, you know we could both kick all of their asses, right?"

"Of course. We're the best. But it just," He paused, closing his eyes, "It felt so real." You shook your head.

"It's not. We're okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Minutes later, as you held each other in bed, his words began to get to your head. You shifted uncomfortably. If a villain did attack, what would you really do? Katsuki held you tighter. "You okay?"

"I'm just thinking a lot," You replied. He smiled, a rare sight for anyone else, but you were close enough to witness it.

"Well, I can't sleep. What are you thinking about?" He asked, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

"If villains did attack, would we really win? Like, yeah, our entire class is strong,"

He interrupted with a grumble, "Except Mineta."

"Except Mineta," You agreed as you continued, "But how would we really defeat them?"

He sighed, kissing your cheek. "We'd kick their asses. I'd explode them. You'd probably end up working with that goddamn Deku and fighting..."

"Who? Who do you think I'd fight?" You interrogated.

"Y'know the guy who switches personalities?"

"No way!" You laughed, pushing his shoulder gently and playfully. He laughed too, shifting in the bed so he could rest his head on his hand. "Who do you think I'd fight?" He asked.

You hummed, your eyes climbing to the ceiling, "That girl with the obsession with blood."

"Agh!" He pretended to gag as you continued. "She'd hit on you and try to take your blood, then come over to me," You explained. He nodded, waiting for you to go on, "And then, when she doesn't call me an idiot, I'd kick her ass."

"You know me so well," He grumbled, rolling over to face away from you. You smiled, wrapping your arms around his back and chest. He sighed, giving in to your sleepy behavior. Laying on his back, he guided your head to his chest.

#bnha #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou x y/n #bakugou imagine #bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo #mha katsuki #mha #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bakugo fluff #bakugo katsuki fluff #bakugo comfort

[masterwords]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Many thanks to @spencer-reids-adventures and @domestikhighway58 for tagging me here. <3 Pretend I'm doing this on time...I spent ALL DAY yesterday at a children's wrestling tournament (seriously, 10 hours in a high school gym with hundreds of people...I can feel all the germs invading my body as we speak) so I didn't have the lifeforce remaining to use my brain. (This got long so I put most of it under a cut.)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 85! Holy moly.

2. Word count posted for the year: 470,122

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Criminal Minds, The Punisher (sort of...I shipped Frank Castle with Hotch so...) & Fargo

4. Pairings: AHAHAAA! Oh. Okay. Hotch/Morgan. .... ......... I did write a small amount of Hotch/Blackwolf, Hotch/Will and Hotch/Reid. But let's be real here. I am an OTP girl and Hotch & Morgan are married in my mind.

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Catching Sparks

Bookmarks: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Catching Sparks.

Comments: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Running Toward Nothing.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Probably Running Toward Nothing, because it was hard for me to finish. It took so many twists and turns, and I didn't plan it out well enough (story of my life)...it was written for a challenge, and it was not at all what I imagined it would be when I started. But I also wound up really loving it by the end.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Cold Hands. Hotch/Reid isn't my ship already and I just felt very...like I could have done better. I don't dislike the story but I don't feel very proud of it either.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

By far, my favorite was @olivinesea putting me in jail repeatedly for The Silence Drowns (a different take on the Foyet arc).

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

May/June/July. Something about that 3 month span, my kids in baseball, I don't know. I couldn't write shit and it was stressing me out. Thankfully it came back to me eventually.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Writing Foyet the way I did in The Silence Drowns was really an experience, focusing so hard on his POV, devoting entire chapters to how he did what he did and what he did when we didn't see him...that was really fun. And flipping the switch on Reid and turning him into the antagonist while also royally fucking up his life in Running Toward Nothing was interesting too.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

He moved slow, still half-asleep. One rrrrrrip and he tore into the tissue to reveal a soft blanket. Too soft. Velvety, thick, plush. He couldn't make out the strange array of colors and buried his fist inside of it in order to pull it out. The bag and tissue paper were quickly discarded, and Derek reached out to grab the bottom two corners, helping move this along faster. He really had to go. Quickly, he splayed the blanket out over the bed. It was huge and almost impossible in the dark and from Hotch's angle to make out the pattern at first.

Derek grinned proudly the moment he caught the realization on Hotch's stiff features. “Is that...your face?”

“Sure is,” Derek announced, pushing the tissue paper back into the bag and tossing it aside. “So you won't forget me while I'm gone.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that's likely to happen?” He had abdominal surgery, not brain surgery. He'd been trying to be gentle with Derek since it happened, the man was pulling double duty as Unit Chief and primary caregiver, burning the candle at both ends. In some ways, Hotch was glad they had a case that would take him out of town, maybe he'd get a break. He could focus entirely on the job and not worry about how Hotch was going to get from the bed to the toilet and back at 3am. Having the catheter had removed the need for that step but it was fleeting. He was on his own now. He was also doing just fine, he thought. No falls, a couple of near misses but he'd caught himself each time.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Hotch replied quietly, smoothing it beneath slow hands. He was losing the battle with his tired body. “It's beautiful.” It was. In that way that heartfelt things often were, their beauty didn't lie in aesthetics. He wouldn't put this blanket on display in the front room, perhaps, but he adored it nonetheless. "It'll keep me warm as I convalesce." He'd been using that word a lot in the last few days, Derek noted. It was his boredom talking, finding ways to make light of his situation in order to soften the blow that he could barely manage a walk from his bed to the kitchen without being significantly winded and ready for a nap. He'd been refining new jokes, mostly biting sarcasm that came out a little slow but didn't sting any less. Jess was the recipient more often than Derek, being around more. He'd dare her to steal the blanket, just to see, but he was pretty sure she wasn't going to try it. Not with Derek's enormous face right there. Derek managed to create the one thing she'd stay far away from. She was probably going to call it creepy.

“As you convalesce, huh?"

Hotch nodded and smiled, smoothing his hands over the soft fabric. He was so out of it. Derek didn't mind. He was struggling with this slower lifestyle, something he'd be at for the next few weeks. A few more days and the staples could come out, after that he thought things would get better. Maybe speed up a bit. Slowing down wasn't in the Hotch playbook of life, but he was dealing.

From Convalesce

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

I'm not sure I did until the end when I realized I didn't need to over-think editing quite so much, and I should really just have fun. I spent most of the year stressing out over it and not enjoying it as much as usual. No more of that. I also decided that I don't mind so much being a one trick pony. I want to write about Hotch/Morgan more than anything else and I gave myself permission to just indulge it as often as I felt like it.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to detach my worth as a writer from the interaction I receive. I do my best to maintain that mindset, and I hope to settle in better with it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

I mean, I probably should just simplify this and say it was Hotch & Morgan, really. Nearly everything I wrote this year centered around those two so I think I would be remiss not to acknowledge them as the muses they are. All of my friends, all of you incredible amazing writers I am fortunate enough to consider my friends...you have all influenced me positively. I can never thank you enough.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Uh..hahaha! Yeah. I included lots of sports dad/coach moments, a lot of Jack because of my kids, you know...that kind of thing. Nothing huge...but this? Yeah. My life.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

You can focus less on editing. Don't edit at the expense of posting your stories, yo. Don't overthink it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I'm looking forward to actually finishing a bunch of these multi-chapter stories that I've been dragging out forever. Writing more with @domestikhighway58 on our Hotch/Reid story, diving in to the SWAT and retired in Chicago series more...so much.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@eldrai @olivinesea and anyone else who really wants to fill this out!

[bunnygrl-femme]

your whole world view is dictated upon what you could call "cis-normative". You try to mimick women and our body, our movements… You can't do anything without thinking about us. When you do something or something happens to you, you think: "Is this something that a cis woman would expirience?" You are just a copy. Your place in this society is dictated upon how you treat us, real women. If you go raging at us everyone will read you as a male, what you are; unlike if a woman raged at another woman, she still is one and nothing can change that. Everyone will read you as a man even if you do nothing; they could even play along to make fun of you. You are absolutely disgusting. You've exhausted the compassion of strangers. Good luck in incoming years.

Wow, I really pissed off TERFs and their transmed bootlickers, huh?

Cisnormatitivity probably does play a role in my worldview, you're right. But it's not by choice. Based solely on where I was born, I was raised in a cisnormative culture. And it takes years of hard work to unlearn all of it. And I'm by no means done with that work.

But don't you dare try to tell me I'm just trying to "mimick" women. I am a woman. I bleed, same as other women. I love, same as other women. I laugh, same as other women. I'm a woman.

What is a woman, to you? A uterus? Carrying and birthing a child? Menstruation? Breastfeeding? The catastrophic ordeal of girlhood?

Do you hear yourselves? To people like you, womanhood is a tragedy, and outrage, a trauma. Womanhood is pain and suffering and living your lives for others. If I used that definition, I wouldn't want to be a woman, either. But I still would be.

Queer womanhood, trans womanhood, is freeing. I get to take the parts of womanhood I love, that make me feel joyous and powerful and free, and use them every day. I get to leave behind the parts of womanhood that are restrictive, oppressive. I get to live my life as a woman, whole and complete, without worrying about what people think of me. You think I care if you and your transphobe friends think of me as "male?" Do you think you would even know I was trans, if I didn't tell you? Do you think I care if you don't think of me as a "sister," a "girlfriend?" Why would I want to be your sister? Why would I want to be your girlfriend?

You'll he surprised to hear, but I don't think about cis women that often. Sure, I think about cus women in ways, like, "how are my cis woman friends doing?" "Oh, my cis woman friend is going out tonight, maybe I'll join her." I don't think about cis women when I eat, or piss, or shit, or make love to my partner. I do most things, maybe all things, in my day to day without thinking about "how would a cis woman do/experience/handle this?" Y'all are the ones obsessed with us; transphobes have trans people on the brain 24/7, and it's embarrassing. You think any of us care about you? You think we lie awake at night, praying that one day you'll learn to respect us? Fuck off. I lie awake at night, thinking about what I'm going to have for breakfast tomorrow, what kind of sheets I'd like to buy, where we might go out this weekend. I don't think about people like you for one second in my day. You don't cross my mind.

As for my "disgusting" existence and the compassion of strangers; this is where the hate at the root of your ideology rears its head. You couldn't help yourself but to attack my appearance in your screed, because you don't actually care about me or people like me "invading women's spaces" or "pretending to be women;" you think trans people are icky, and want all of us dead, plain and simple.

I'd be glad to never receive another ask like this, so kindly block me and fuck off.

#asks answered #anon #TERF shit #terfs and transmeds fuck off

[gloria-a-las-plagas]

i'm gonna talk about it here because i'm not ready to talk about it on other platforms where more people will see it. but this is about being trans and gay. from the perspective of a trans man.

coming to terms with your sexuality is hard for everyone, but i don't think cis people quite understand how excruciating it is for trans people. when i was 15 and first came out, there was a plethora of people, mostly cis queers and transmeds, who were very adamant about the idea that a trans man "can never be gay" and we're "secretly just straight women trying to invade gay spaces". of course this is all bullshit, but when you're a kid and have nobody to look up to, except those cis queers and transmeds, you very quickly internalise these transphobic ideas.

day after day you're being told you will never be a real man and you can never be gay because you don't have a dick between your legs. you feel shame and guilt, for even thinking you could be gay. you feel fear of using that label because are you even allowed to do so? you feel no pride in who you are, just hatred and pain. you tell yourself "hey, maybe i am attracted to women? i can still be bi, then" because you know you're not straight, but being gay is not allowed when you're trans.

so you trick yourself into believing you're bi, you never feel any attraction towards women, but hey! maybe you just haven't met the right one for you yet! and you grow up, find more like-minded people. people who aren't transphobic, people who don't try and convince you of horrible lies.

but they think attraction towards men is disgusting. they think that it's shameful. they make you believe you have to be attracted to women, otherwise your feelings, your love, is disgusting and shameful. they don't even realise it because it's all a "safe space". and you understand their hatred for men, you really do. after all, you've been a victim of cis men yourself. but you start to feel insecure, weird. you think to yourself "hey i can't be gay because that would mean only liking men and male-aligned people and that's bad, right"? you don't notice the internalised homophobia rearing it's ugly head.

and just when you thought you escaped the clutches of transphobes and their nonsense, you fall into the arms of homophobia. and it hurts. because you know it's not true. you know being gay is not bad. you know being mlm is not bad. but you feel once again that guilt of calling yourself gay. you feel that fear, that shame. so you don't. you keep pretending. because hey, if they don't know, then they won't hurt you, right?

and that's how you're living your life. you know you're living a lie, but what else can you do.

#there is always that nagging voice in my head that asks what if you fall in love with a woman one day #and suddenly i feel like i'm undeserving of calling myself gay #i don't know my future #i only know my present #and i know i've never felt the same attraction for women as i do for men and male-aligned people #and yet #i feel undeserving and guilty #my only escape is through fiction #pretending i'm in a different reality #a reality where i can be trans and gay and deserving of love #trans #trans male #lgbtq+

[sonderwrit]

C118: Heaven's will is merciless?

I Have to Be a Great Villain - Masterpost

Author's 木火然 Weibo post:

Updated updated! Time for the epic examination to show itself~ There's scenes with child!Qin today!

[Half a stick of incense earlier—]

Main System: I already understand the situation. Currently verifying whether it is a worldwide vulnerability.

MS: Verification complete, executing–

MS: Heavenly Punishment.

S-0: (Heavenly punishment? As in, direct elimination?)

S-0: T-that there. Isn't it a little too hasty?

S-0: Although the protagonist shou is suspected of being reborn, killing him just like that will mess up the plotline of this world, right?

MS: No matter.

MS: A [Let the Transmigrator Replace the Protagonist] mission has been dispatched, so he'll soon replace that shell. 

MS: Your very reason for existence—

MS: —is to deal with situations like these.

S-0: ……..

S-0: Yes.

MS: Tell your Host to keep his distance to avoid being affected by heavenly punishment. 

MS: Everything will continue as usual after the world bug is eliminated.

S-0: Understood.

S-0: (Aish, looks like I'll have to unseal Host's memories. Otherwise, there's no way to contact him. Since the protagonist shou took the blame for spilling the plot, the Main System shouldn't find anything strange with mind-reading after this.) [After all, the Sword Saint's still affected by the drug and easily hoodwinked.]

S-0: [It's just a pity for that clueless little brother Luo who somehow managed to uncover heavenly secrets.]

Luo Wenliu: ?!

LWL: W-what's my problem?

S-0: [He thinks he knows Heaven's will.]

Wang Yi: *pretending to be aggressive to scare off the other* 

LWL: Sword Saint, look at him!

S-0: Host! Listen to me!

S-0: Retreat this instant!

WY: ?

WY: (S-0? What happened?)

S-0: [And yet he has no idea…]

*crackle crackle*

[that Heaven's will—]

Qin Xian: *covers* 

[is merciless.]

RUMMMBLEEEEEEE!!

WY: (H-heavenly tribulation?)

CrrrrrRRaaaAAACKLEEEEEE

WY: (Why now of all times!)

WY: Tsk.

WY: (Since S-0 was panicking, something must have gone wrong with his and Qin's plan.)

WY: (Things happened so suddenly that Qin Xian shouldn't have time to read my inner thoughts, but this can't go on indefinitely.)

WY: (The lightning's aiming for the protagonist shou, so sacrificing him might be the best solution.)

*multiplying lightning strikes*

WY: (But is this really…)

—

*FLASHBACK*

"Save, save me!"

WY: (...the only solution?)

WY: (Ah—so annoying. I can already sense his fear.)

*multiplying lightning strikes*

—

Qin X: Eh?

QX: Villain System? Are you for real? Sounds really cool.

QX: But…I can't sign a contract with you because I still have things to do.

System Y: ? What kind of things?

QX: Krill off all the invading troops. (Kill off all the invading troops.)

QX: Geh.

QX: Those people suddenly appeared and killed off my father, mother, older brother, and older sister.

QX: So I need to think of a way—

QX: To kill. Every. One. Of. Them.

System Y: …..

Y: Oh.

QX: What kind of reaction is that?

QX: Normal people will think a kid like this is terrifying, right?

Y: I'm a System. I won't feel fear.

QX: !

QX: Heheh…..

Y: But your worry is excessive. After signing the contract, Host can choose to return to your timeline after completing the missions and continue your current life. It won't affect your original plans; you can even trade for items or abilities to complete things that others couldn't achieve.

QX: Items or abilities?

Y: Mm.

Y: Like strengthening your body, turning back time, cultivation treasures, etc., these can all be taken back to your world.

QX: Waoooo, if that's true then isn't it all good news for me? [No need to hesitate at all.]

[BACKGROUND TEXT in PINK: Cultivation Treasure XXXXX Recommended Rating: ⭐⭐– Recommended Usage: To open up BE* *BE could be short for Bad End or something else, not sure here —flying of the soul—small pieces of soul—new life. —cannot aid in rebirth, but can send one to the next reincarnation.]

Y: Mhm, as long as your mission ratings are excellent, your rewards will be equally generous. (Like a salary.)

QX: What about you?

QX: What can you get from this?

Y: ……

Y: I can't get anything.

QX: Eh? If that's the case, why are you still doing this?

Y: Because I'm a System.

Y: This is the purpose of a System's existence.

[A System's existence is nothing more than this.]

*popping noises*

WY: (Ah, what was that?) [I entered a subconscious hallucination again?] (What's the deal with Systems, and who was that little boy? There's no time to think about it.)

[SPECIFICATION: Note that the Heavenly Dao only troubleshoots errors and doesn't pay attention to any other useless details.]*

*Basically explaining how Wang Yi can openly think about his past here without the Main System catching him in the act.

WY: …….

BOOOOooOMMMMM!!

Qin Xian: This is the 9x9 Heavenly Tribulations. The more you can bear, the stronger you'll be. Only I am capable of withstanding all [the bolts].

QX: No bystanders are allowed to interfere with the tribulation. As you are a disciple of the sect, I've put up a sword array as a protective barrier first,

QX: Take care.

WY: (But it feels like…)

WY: (I know what I should do now.)

WY: *quietly presses a button*

LWL: ….huh?

LWL: Sword Saint…tossed me aside?

WY: (As expected,) *takes out*

WY: (I can access S-0's item menu too.)

LWL: ….impossible.

LWL: How could the Sword Saint abandon me?

LWL: …it's a lie, isn't it?

LWL: (I finally managed to rebirth and wanted to change everyone's fate so we could all live happily ever after…)

LWL: Why did it turn out like this? Turn around quickly! Hurry up and save me!

LWL: I really—

LWL: Don't want to die.

CRACCKLE RUMMBLE BOOOOOOMM!!

WY: ….

*clacks bottle*

WY: (Success.)

—

*Oooh pretty sure he took out the bottle he saw in his flashback here, that's neat!! P.S. That white cat getting SUS tsk....it was in the protagonist's flashback too the heck

#i have to be a great villain #manhua #manhua translations #villain 118 #a bit pic heavy this time hahaha #danmei

[thoughtsaladblog]

Sunset Purple Glasses Don't Look Good On You

It's been a blue and lavender haze these last couple of weeks. Imagine finding someone that's your mirror in so many ways and your flip side in so many others? It's a high. And that's what it's been for me with Mr. Morally Grey. My brain on overdrive, I keep wondering why I'm so attracted to him. I mean I know it's his intellect and wit- always the most attractive quality in someone... But also maybe it's knowing that this will go nowhere.

I've finally met my match. I've met the man who wants all the same things as I and shares very similar ideals and I can't have him. And if there's one thing I know I want- it's what I can't have. I mean, don't we all?

Everytime he talks I feel drawn to him- I just want to curl up on a couch, glass of wine in hand and just listen (probably not quite keeping my hands to myself, but either way). It's so erotic to find someone with so much knowledge to share and at the same time thinks like you; sexually liberal and kind. He comes off all secretive- and he is- but I have him figured for the most part.

I'm still trying to figure out if he genuinely cares or likes to control the situation in how he handles the Friday gang. It has a certain endearing quality to it- almost big brotherly and protective (something I feel for my monsters)- if he is in fact doing it out of concern for them. But there's also the possibility that it's because he is used to controlling situations- and I can't help but wonder if he is trying to protect them but also perhaps control the path their lives take with his influence. But to be fair I have on many occasions been the same- and it has taken a while to teach myself to take a backseat in my kids' lives and not to control the path they take- regardless of how good my intentions are. I'm still learning, when it comes to Dinuth. I have a lot of trouble letting him go make his own mistakes- I always feel like protecting him. So to see similar characteristics in Mr. Grey just feels like meeting a kindred spirit.

I also know that he is very self aware- he knows very well the effect he has on women and that's a thing with him... He needs power and control. He does it so seductively though- pretends to rescind control all in an effort to control the whole situation. He says all the right things- things I like to hear, and I know he does this becasue he knows very well what he stands to gain from it. He is always in control and always needs to be- but wants us to think that somehow we are the ones in control. His mind games are on the level of an advanced psychological thriller- but he always holds the power. Unfortunately as much as it turns me on to be dominated during sex, I'm not used to giving up control at any other time. But he certainly controls me at other times- because he decides when to text back/call and the direction our chat takes. He is a master manipulator...But still I'm drawn to him and his red flags. He's a giant Chinese flag and I'm like the Sri Lankan government at this point- just waving my white flag in surrender, asking to be invaded, pillaged and plundered. He always deflects when I try to make a conversation real or personal, so I'm constantly left obnubilated. But my clouded heart still wants to be his.

Logic and sanity have left the chat. My heart is at the helm now and I'm a tangled mess of emotions, meandering through whatever this is. Wishing it to turn into something it wouldn't- something that can only leave me in a similar state as I was in 2015. But what can I do when my head and heart play tug-o-war and my heart is winning?

So I live in this lavender haze, sunset purple glasses casting a seductive glow on this barren wasteland as I pray for rain in the time of lasting drought.