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keets-writing-corner · 3 months

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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

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maccreadysbaby · 7 months

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Tips for Writers who are Auditory Learners :)

Writing can often be boring or difficult for auditory learners like me. Sitting in silence to absorb and produce words is not the funnest or easiest thing ever. Here are a few things I do that might help!

Reading your work out loud. It can help you pinpoint things that don’t sound right without reading it inside your mushy brain for the 174th time. Also, I submit to you — reading in different accents. I (an American) read to myself with a British accent. It helps break the repetitiveness of how you’re used to reading it and will illuminate more issues, sort of like changing the font.

Have someone else read it out loud. This eliminates staring at the words for five hours and helps you hear it with someone else’s natural inflection and not the inflection you’ve been reading it in since it’s inception. You will definitely hear if something sounds stupid or not. If you can’t find a friend, you can find online resources that will read what you input, and they can also give you a laugh.

Talk through your characters conversations. Yes, their stutters, their attitude, their weird laugh, their accent — all of it! Embrace your inner actor. Assign yourself a part and have a friend do another! Or change back and forth between characters like one of those “baby it’s cold outside” tiktoks. Or do one character at a time alone in your room. It helps with giving your characters a natural way of speaking that’s human and not monotone, and it is a good way of finding things to input into the conversations that humans do naturally. Let yourself be the character, you’ll find yourself scoffing or chuckling or rolling you eyes and be like, hey, they should do that, too.

If there’s music in a scene, play it while you write that scene. Set the tone, baby. It’s the background music of your tv show, the music playing while your characters talk/dance/sing, and it really does help you feel ingrossed and invested.

If sentences feel weird or like they sound bad but you can’t figure out why, clap, tap, or speak the whole thing out in syllables. This can help you identify consecutive sentences with the same structure so you can make them less repetitive.

feel free to add more if you have any!!

#writing help #writing angst #original writing #creative writing #writers #writing #writerscommunity #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing tips

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ginevrapng · 7 months

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studying with your boyfriend is something you love but also hate. he's a great teacher and explains everything that you don't understand or that professors haven't explained to you the right way for you to understand but you also don't like studying with neville because he's so hot when he's tutoring you that it's distracting.

the whole time neville will be trying to help you with your exam next week you'll be wanting to snog him and find a quiet and dark place in the library to suck his dick.

"are you listening flower?" he asks when you haven't made any input to the conversation. honestly you're not, you're watching the way his eyebrows furrow as he crosses out a misspelling and how he's rolled his jumper up to his forearms. his lip is slightly jutting out and you want to reach over to him and grab his face and kiss him until you're both dizzy.

he looks over to you to see you staring at his lips and smirks. he knows that look on you well. "not now petal, we've got to get this all done," he tells you softly but sternly.

you really should listen, you know he's right but you can't pay attention when he's looking so attractive. "nev please, i need you so bad," you whine, hoping he'll give in and forget about the exam in favour of making out with you.

neville looks back up from his work to you and sighs starting to get exasperated with those puppy dog eyes and pleading words. "i said no."

some people in gryffindor still think of neville as this clumsy, shy and timid boy but he's changed, so when your boyfriend talks like that it's hard to go against him so you shut your mouth, at least for awhile.

neville sees your antsy behaviour and distracted self and decides to do something about it. "you're so needy petal, can't even spend a few hours concentrating without you trying to fuck me."

you pout at him, not realising that you weren't being convincing after he told you to start studying again. "i didn't do anything neville, promise," you say while looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt.

neville follows your eyes and then gets an idea on how to handle his girlfriend. "petal sit on my thigh."

your eyes widen in realisation. "neville we can't do that, not here," you whisper. whipping your head around the library you see that you're the only ones around and you are also in the back of the library but you still believe it to be to dangerous.

"thought you said you were needy?" you bit your lip in thought, he knows what you'll do. "haven't got all day flower." after that you slide out of your chair and stand in front of neville silently asking him where he wants you to sit. "come on, so you're facing me." you shyly nod your head and rest on his thigh.

neville places a delicate kiss on your temple and speaks lowly into your ear, "love you flower." at the same time he grabs hold of your soft hips and starts to drag your body against his thigh.

as you move more against neville's thigh you know that your knickers are getting wetter and they'll probably be a stain on his trousers if this goes on for long.

neville chose this so he could keep working if necessary but he's forgotten all about it. he can't help but drop everything to focus all his attention on you, it's impossible for him not to. he adores you and right now he's getting incredibly hard after hearing your small panting and feeling your doughy skin underneath his big palms. neville simply doesn't know where to look, at your quickly rising and falling chest that's pressed against him or your plush thighs that he can see now that your skirt has ridden up higher or your cute face scrunched up in pleasure.

you've wrapped your arms around neville's neck and you bury your face into his chest every time you feel a particularly loud moan about to leave your mouth. neville pushes some of your hair out of your face as you're beginning to get sweaty and kisses you all over your face.

his trousers get tighter and you increase your pace with the help and guidance of neville. your clit gets pressed against him constantly with the friction and you're losing all sense of how to talk. "nev, plea-, i- i feels s'good," you whine.

neville smirks, his whole confident aura is making you fuzzy. "alright petal, i've got you. hold on tightly to my neck." you nod frantically and hold on tighter. he sinks his fingers even deeper into your plush body, definitely leaving bruises. he flexes his thigh again, angles your body in the right way so that every time you move your clit gets stimulation and starts to move your body up and down, completely controlling your pace.

it's been a couple minutes as you start to form a new sentence "neville, i-"

neville already knows you're about to finish, you started clawing his neck and biting your lip harder trying to stifle any noise. "come f'me petal." you do, the coil building inside of you snaps and you see white. neville shoves his tongue in your mouth and kisses you, muffling your moan. your body shivers and you push your body up against his even more.

you take a couple minutes to breathe and afterwards shakily get off of neville. he holds onto your wrist to stabilise you and groans as he sees the aftermath you've left on his trousers. he takes a glance at the table with all your books on and mumbles 'fuck it' and starts shoving both of your work into his bag. neville's heart melts as he looks up to your cute confused face. "let's head back to my room petal." your face lights up as you remove your wrist from his hand and intertwine your fingers together, you start swinging both your hands as you walk out the library.

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flynnriderishot · 2 months

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heeey um i got my antidepressants dose increased :’) i hate how im feeling these days and my ed is getting out of control i wish i could stop taking them haha could you maybe write something where vinnie comforts and takes care of the reader on her really bad days? ilysm thank you 🥹🫶🏼

not alone - v.h

a/n: i want to start off by saying that i’m so sorry for how you’re feeling. i’ve been in your position before and can promise that it gets better. my private messages are always open if you’d like to talk to me about anything (this is open for everyone). i also want to apologize for how long it took me to get through to your request, it was buried deep within my inbox.

you haven’t been feeling your best lately. far from it, actually.

you couldn’t really pinpoint why you’ve been feeling off, but it was definitely noticeable to your friends, family and boyfriend that your usual bubbly personality has slowly been melting away as the days been by.

it started off with you spacing out during conversations, to not giving your input at all, to simply just not showing up when there was a group hang out.

this raised serious concerns with your boyfriend, vinnie, as he wasn’t used to seeing you so down.

with your relationship being new, only seven months in, he wasn’t sure how to approach it.

though, having dealt with his own personal problems with his feelings, he’s learned that constantly being alone with your thoughts wasn’t the best decision. so, after giving you your alone time to process things, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

which is why he was currently walking into your apartment with a bag full of your favorite things, snacks, face masks, and a stuff animal that made him think of you when he first saw it.

he placed the bag on the counter, slowly making his way down the hall to your bedroom. knocking on the door, he turned the knob and spoke,

“babe? it’s vinnie, i don’t know if you saw my text… i wanted to come check on you.”

he squinted his eyes to try and get a better look into the dark room. he sighed softly at the sight of your figured buried beneath your comforter.

he noticed the movement from your breathing, immediately picking up that your weren’t asleep.

“how you feeling?”

“i don’t want to talk, vin.” you mumbled, praying that he would hear so that you wouldn’t have to repeat yourself.

“that’s okay.” he nodded, swallowing thickly before he sat down near you, “can i lay with you?”

you didn’t give a verbal response, only moving over a bit so he could get comfortable. you silently thanked God that your forced yourself to get out of bed and shower earlier in the morning.

vinnie pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“i want to let you know that you aren’t alone, okay? whatever is going on, i just hope you realize that i’m here for you, your friends are here for you, and i know your family is too. i know you don’t want to feel like a burden to anyone but your feelings matter. and if you aren’t okay, then you should tell someone. i’m here, i will always be here.”

his words were enough to make the tear swelling in your eyes roll down your face.

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m just so sad but i have no reason to be.” you sniffled, burying your head into his chest.

he rubbed your back softly, closing his eyes at the sound of your sniffles,

“that’s okay. we all get sad sometimes. and even if you don’t know how to describe it, or if you don’t know how to word it, it could be good to at least be with someone who has an understanding.” he felt you nod against him,

“i know that i hate not being able to see you be your usually bubbly self and i hate knowing that you’re struggling alone. i want to there to help you. i want you to burden me with your problems, you know? i want to help you when you need me most. that’s what i’m here for. you don’t deserve to suffer alone.”

“i know. i’m sorry for pushing you away.”

“you have no reason to be sorry.” he lifted your head, pressing a gentle peck to your lips, “if anything, i’m sorry for not coming over sooner.”

“you’re here now.” you tightened your hold on him, “that’s all that matters.”

taglist: @hearts4chris @timmyandsturniolo @mayhem-72 @luvsturns @knowingnothingnoel @mrsmattyb @itzdarling @julliaaaaaaaaaaaaa @dracoflaco @heartsforchrisandmatt @lily-strnlo @alliehansson @stinkytwinkwinky @mstarniolo

#sturniolo triplets #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker #vinnie x reader

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tinkerleaf · 1 month

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Once Again

Hi guys! :) This wasn't exactly how I meant for it to turn out, but I don't hate it. In my head it makes sense. Synopsis: chuuya sees reader for the first time since they left the mafia. gn reader Genre: a lil bit of angst Words: 720 Pairing: chuuya/reader Warnings: emotions, some violence/toxicity? not well-proofread

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

In the Port Mafia, documents do not lie. If they have something on file, it must be absolute. This is what concerns Chuuya the most when he sees your name come up in recent files. You’re titled under the Armed Detective Agency, and he can’t help but groan.

It had been about a year since you disappeared without a trace, and Chuuya knew that Dazai had to have something to do with it. Instead of dwelling on the thought, he simply pushed it into the back of his mind, only for it to return in the dead of night. He doesn’t always think about you, but he definitely does. And when he does, he has to do something to distract himself from the fact that you are gone from existence.

When he picks up your file, he almost throws it out. He doesn’t want to go through another episode where he frantically searches for you again, as it’s bad for his image. However, he wants the closure of knowing that you’re at least alive. Opening the folder, he winces at your photo. He's thankful he's alone in his office where no one can see him be so vulnerable.

Dazai was still nowhere to be seen, and he was fine with that. He wanted nothing more than to rip him to shreds for everything he’d done. Everything had changed due to his absence.

Your status was labeled as “alive”. He stares at the lines for a few minutes before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

Knowing you were safe slightly relieves him, but the fact that you joined the enemy pisses him off. What business could you possibly have with them? He knew it wasn’t because they were somehow better or stronger. But just like the other pesky thoughts that haunt him, he pushes them away.

Three years later, your file comes up again. This time, however, with Dazai’s. The reason is that Kyouka captured both of you, even though Dazai was the main target. However, having both traitors couldn’t hurt.

He hated using that term for you, but that’s what you were.

When he passes Akutagawa in the corridor, they have a brief conversation about the situation. “Did they say anything useful?” Chuuya asks the man.

“Of course not. They’re just as infuriating as they were before.” He walks away, his steps echoing through the hall.

He knew what he was walking into, but that doesn’t change how he feels when you make eye contact with him. Dazai gives his usual sly grin that annoys him to no end.

“So this is where you’ve been all this time?” Chuuya scoffed.

You really don't know how to approach this scenario. You can cut the tension with a butter knife. You don't want to answer him. Dazai decides it's a good time to provide some input, which the redhead simply ignores.

A glass shatters against the wall beside you. It doesn't hit you, but it's enough to get his point across. “Don’t ignore me like you had nothing to do with me!”

You swallowed hard. He crept towards you like a snake. Dazai glanced over at you to see if you had been hit. “Come on, Chuuya, go easy on-.”

“I’ll get to you when I’m done,” he growled at him. He grabbed you by the face and forced you to look him in the eyes. “I hate you.” He lies. It's the biggest lie he’s ever told. But in a way, there is some truth behind it. He hates the way you possess his mind. He hates how you had enraptured him all those years ago just to drag him down to hell when you left. He hates you for letting his guard down, something he vowed to never do again.

The look in your eye and the single tear that slipped through it seemed to tell him everything you needed him to know. He let go of you and sighed.

In the end, you can’t change the past. You can’t change your mission or motives. Whatever caused you to leave him wasn’t his business, and he knew that. He couldn’t forgive you, not yet. But now that he has you within his grasp, he won’t let you go again. Not that easily.

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 months

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Since you named it in the Halsin x Ace!tav headcanons, now please do also gale because I'm curious!

- a very ace ⚙️

Alright, by popular(ish) demand:

How Ace!Tav Reacts When They Realize Gale is Into Them

An expansion on this headcanon: Ace!Tav's Reaction to Halsin Propositioning Them

Based on: Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist

Okay, now I feel bad because I feel like I've thrown my man Gale under the bus for this, but it really isn't his fault, just a lot of miscommunication

This one is a slower build since Gale is just in the party longer and it's just how he roles

Ace!Tav and Gale form a connection fairly early on

Tav knows they're not the most book smart and so does regularly ask Gale for his input (or to read them something without asking any questions)

Gale is happy to be useful, and just so thrilled to have somebody beside his cat who will listen

This is probably where the miscommunication begins

Gale takes their active listening, and ability to recount the information he taught them as a sign of deeper interest while Tav actively listens because that's just what they do

They're a bard who never learned how to read, listening is the only way they learn anything, plus they have a memory like steel trap

This all comes to a head at the tiefling party

Astarion approaches Tav about having a "night of passion" which Tav turns down because it's obviously not their thing, and they don't really want to have that conversation with Astarion; why spoil a good thing (read I Want I All for more on that subject)

And then Gale says he wants to show them how to experience the weave later that evening and so, they decide to go with him

Tav knows they're in touch with the weave through their music, but never fully understood why or how, only that it works, so to have Gale show them is an experience they can't pass up

Besides, they know how passionate he is about it, who would they be to deny him

So, Gale shows them the weave and when he asks them to picture the concept of harmony, what they imagine is music, the way it fills their body and brings them peace; melody strumming not just through their ears but their whole body into their soul

It's an intimate sensation, one they haven't been able to express with words and for a moment Gale feels it

He tells them he feels like he owes them an apology for being at bit...well, dismissive of their form of magic, it's truly beautiful

And then Tav sees it, a flash of his own mind, and the anticipation of a kiss

That snaps them right out of it, letting the weave disappear around them

Gale, realizing what they saw, is quick to apologize but the moment is ruined and the pair of them quickly make their way back to their own tents to wallow and over think

Tav feels unbelievably guilty, not helped by Astarion's comments the next morning

Astarion isn't jealous, why would he be? But he can't help but ask what Tav and the wizard got up to, using every teasing innuendo he can think of

Tav finally snaps and tells him nothing happened and that they need to talk to Gale

Gale has been properly wallowing and keeping unnaturally silent until Tav pulls him aside to talk

Gale once again apologizes, but he really did think there was a connection between the two of them

He knows he's not much of a wizard these days and he's also very well aware that there is something going on between them and Astarion, but he did hope...well, no point in that is there

Tav feels even more guilty, but is quick to assure him he did nothing wrong, they just don't see him that way

In truth, what they really want, in the deepest part of their hearts, is to be his friend; to be honest, they don't have that many

Gale tells them, "Somehow I doubt that. I can't imagine you being lonely"

Tav only gives him a sad smile, saying "what can I say, I contain multitudes"

Gale sees it then, that they are, in fact, lonely and for a moment sees it in himself; that maybe his feelings he started to develop really do come from that same place of loneliness

Tav watches him carefully asking, "have I hurt you terribly?"

Gale shakes his head, "just a bit bruised, nothing that won't heal. Admittedly, I think it's more my ego than my heart"

He assures them that he does value their friendship, he just might need a minute to recover

He also tells them that whoever they do give their heart to better know how valuable it truly is

It does take Gale a little time to come back to himself, but eventually he's able to become a true friend to Tav with none of the remaining awkwardness

He also makes a point to assure Astarion of the same thing after he senses the vampire glare one too many daggers into his back

As much fun as it is to tease Astarion, he doesn't want to have to sleep with one eye open, if he can help it

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale x tav #gale x ace!tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion x tav #astarion x ace!tav #asexual!tav #bard!tav #gale dekarios x tav #gale of waterdeep x tav #astarion x reader #asexual!reader #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x evie #gale x evie

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jupitercomet · 1 year

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oh no yeah you right i thought you meant it was a friend of his or something. i would say bradley and toots then. my fav when they overhear it from a conversation with their friends or something and they start to pull away and the boyfriend notices. but any way you spin it i will appreciate 😫😫😫

-🧚‍♀️

merry Christmas, bestie!! I am very grateful to have met you and gotten to know you so I hope you enjoy your little gift of Bradley angst with a happy ending <3

warnings: language, insecurities, Bradley having the emotional intelligence of a grapefruit, I'm back on my "Bradley's pet name is bear" bullshit and what about it, this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas I'm sorry

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

It was a word you’d always been somewhat familiar with. Clingy. And you knew that sometimes you hugged people too tightly, or said you loved them too often. You could be overbearing, throwing all of your focus into strengthening a relationship with someone until your presence was cemented in every part of them. You understood that you did that. You understood that most people didn’t like when you did that. And so you’re clingy.

Really, you try not to be. You stare at your phone in anticipation instead of texting Natasha every 30 seconds about every thought that's popped into your head. You no longer have brunch every Saturday with your mom, but only when she asks if you're up for it. And instead of begging him for updates frantically every time he leaves the apartment, you give Bradley enough space to do his own thing. Or, at least, you thought you did.

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

It’s not that you wanted to be clingy. It wasn’t some choice that you made because you liked it. It was this compulsive, obsessive thing. It was this feeling that, if you didn’t actively make yourself present for every moment, people would leave you. No one can forget about you if you’re there all the time.

And so you insert yourself into everything, staying glued to the people you love because you can’t stand the itch. You can’t stand the voice in your head that tells you that you’re alone. Because bad things happen when you’re alone. You don’t want to be alone. You can’t be alone.

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

You love your life with Bradley. He makes you feel happy and safe — protected. He wipes your tears with his calloused thumbs and guides you to his heartbeat, his hand covering your other ear, when a noise gets too loud. He always asks for your input, he listens to you. You love him so much it almost hurts, like this ache in your chest that doesn’t soothe until you’re near him.

Bradley’s perfect. And you want to be perfect for him too. You want to be someone that makes him feel happy and safe. You want to make him laugh and play with his hair when he can’t sleep. You want to take all the dark, hurt parts of him and protect them. You want to make him feel loved. And you thought you were. But, instead, you made him feel—

“—Smothered?” Bob holds the punching bag steady as Bradley lands a few more hits. “What do you mean?”

Bradley keeps his eyes on the synthetic material of the bag, sweat accumulating above his brow. “I don’t know. I’m not used to it, I guess. Her being there all the time.”

“You don’t like it?” Bob’s brows raise.

He braces for another punch but it never comes, Bradley’s gloves dropped at his sides as he regulates his breaths.

“Not really. She’s always touchin’ me or wanting to do shit together. I love her, but—” Bradley sighs, “she’s just kind of clingy.”

Standing a fair ways behind him, you’re trying not to cry. It’s proving unsuccessful though, tears already beginning to roll down your cheeks anyway, and you wipe at them quickly. It’s a wonder that Bob hasn’t seen you yet, standing pitifully in the middle of the gym with a paper bag in your hand because you’d been hit with the thought that Bradley might get hungry and want lunch.

You feel foolish now though. Bradley’s a grown man, of course he didn’t need you making lunch for him. Of course he doesn’t want to be around you all the time. Or be smothered by you.

You turn towards the door quickly, not wanting Bradley to catch you here and have another thing to be annoyed about. Nobody stops you thankfully, you didn’t think you could handle that right now. Bradley’s lunch feels like a heavy weight in your hand and you throw it away bitterly.

Clingy.

Bradley needed his space, and that was fine, but maybe he needed more space than you originally thought. Maybe he was already starting to resent you for it. Maybe he’d leave you because he just couldn’t take it anymore.

You suck in a breath as you get into your car. You needed lots of reassurance, you knew that, but if getting that reassurance meant losing Bradley in the process, it wasn’t worth it. So you’d fix it. You’d fix it and Bradley would think that you love him instead of thinking that you smother him.

You’d fix it.

You were acting weird.

And not your usual type of weird — like talking to the fish tank and assigning all your friends to what dog breed you thought suited them best — no, you were a different type of weird. Like keeping a cushion of space between yourself and Bradley during movie nights and no longer sitting on the countertops chatting about your day as he did the dishes.

At first, Bradley was relieved. All of this stuff with you was so new and he’d never been that much of a relationship guy. Once women realized that his very limited way of emoting was not something that got better with time, they usually didn’t stick around long. Not if they wanted something serious. He was used to living alone — being alone. And you felt like the opposite of that.

Bradley didn’t particularly enjoy things like holding hands or cuddling. Sometimes he was tired and didn’t really want to listen to people talk about their day or the new show they’re watching. He put up with it because it was you and it wasn’t like he hated it, he just didn’t like it all the time.

So when you stopped suddenly, when you started to talk to him from the bed instead of right in the bathroom next to him, when you didn’t ask him what time he’d be home every time he left, Bradley felt like he could breathe again.

But then it seemed to hit him that you’d stopped.

Bradley couldn’t remember the last time you initiated affection. The last time you held his hand when you were walking or climbed into his lap because you wanted to take a nap. Or kissed him.

No, it was Bradley who pressed a kiss to your temple when he got home. It was Bradley who asked if you wanted to do something. He’d even got desperate enough that it was Bradley telling you about his fucking day. He felt like he was going crazy.

Because in response to all of those things, you would only smile, or shrug, or say “That’s great, bear. I’m glad you had a good day”. And Bradley would wait for you to drag him to the couch to cuddle, or bring up that it might be nice to go to the aquarium, or tell him about the new dog that just arrived at the shelter.

(Bradley knew because he’d been checking the animal shelter’s website every day to see when you posted new animals. That morning, there had been a new listing for a Great Dane puppy named Scooby Doo and there was no doubt in his mind that the name had been your idea. But you hadn’t said a word about it yet.)

At first, he thought you might be mad at him. It seemed like a logical conclusion — though he was unsure what he actually did — that explained your sudden personality change. But you didn’t seem mad. You still let him touch you and there wasn’t anything resentful in the way you spoke to him. You just refused to touch him.

“My god, you look like shit!” Jake laughs, taking in Bradley’s appearance with amusement when he walks through the gym doors.

Bradley grunts, not in the mood to deal with Jake’s playful ribbing. Because he did look like shit. You’d stopped cuddling in bed with him — you’d let him fall asleep with you in his arms, but he woke up once in the middle of the night to realize that you were all the way at the edge of the bed and then he forced himself to stay awake every night after that only to learn you hardly let him hold you for more than two hours. You didn’t cheekily try to join him in the shower anymore or wear his clothes and this morning you’d left without even saying “I love you”.

Truly Bradley was losing his mind.

“Hello?” Jake snaps his fingers in front of him. “Dude, when was the last time you slept?”

Bradley grunts again. Had Jake’s voice always been this grating? He sets down his bag, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before unzipping it. As pointed out by Jake, he hadn’t been sleeping, his body forcing its own sort of alarm clock on him whenever you left his arms. Which, he learned, was a lot.

Adler only needed one look to come to the same conclusion as Jake. “Go home, Rooster.”

“Coach—”

“Nope,” Adler shakes his head resolutely. “You look like I stole you from the fucking morgue. Go to bed or I’m pulling you from your next fight.”

With the threat as punishment — and the fact that Adler was already walking away — Bradley could only let out a heavy sigh and collect his things.

You’re sitting on the couch when he gets home, something that in and of itself isn’t unusual, but Bradley feels so deprived of you that it genuinely excites him. You look up when the door closes and furrow your brows slightly.

“What are you doing home so early?” He waits for you to run to him and jump into his arms, but you don’t.

Bradley shrugs, slightly soured from your constant rejection, and slides off his shoes. “Your dad sent me home. Said I look like I’m dead.”

You get up from the couch worriedly, making your way over to the front door. Bradley’s heart jumps to his throat at the realization that you’re coming closer to him.

“Are you okay? Are you sick?” Bradley watches in anticipation as the back of your hand reaches up to press against his forehead. He doesn’t even have a chance to revel in the excitement before you’re pulling it back like he burned you.

“Toots, please baby. I can’t do this anymore.” Bradley’s desperate, this moment being his final straw, and he's ready to get down on his knees and beg if that’s what it takes. He just needs you to touch him.

Your head cocks in confusion, your hand still hanging awkwardly in the air between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

Bradley hesitates. Because he’s never had to do this before. He’s never needed someone to cuddle so he could fall asleep. He’s never had to ask for someone to just hold his fucking hand, please! He’s never wanted affection.

You’re still looking up at him, waiting, and Bradley is so sick of this day and everything and everyone who isn’t you. He’s picking you up before either of you can realize, holding your thighs around his hips as he carries you to the bedroom. Without even setting you down first, he lies down on the bed.

“Bradley?” You hesitantly lift your head from where it was on his chest.

He grunts, breathing in your shampoo and conditioner and sliding his hands under the waistband of your leggings so they can rest on your ass. Your breath hitches at the action and Bradley’s relieved to confirm that your sudden touch aversion isn’t because you’re no longer attracted to him.

You try again when he doesn’t reply. “What’s wrong?”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

He feels you freeze in his arms.

“I’m not—”

“You are,” he interrupts you, a bit more harshly than intended. “You’re avoiding me like the fucking plague and I want to know why.”

His words distract him, loosening his grip on you, and you’re able to break away and sit up. You’re getting off his lap before he can stop you, moving to your side of the bed defensively.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” your lip starts to wobble and your eyes turn glassy as you hold your knees to your chest. “You hate when I give you attention, but when I try to give you space you hate that too.”

Bradley pauses, furrowing his brows. “What? When did I say that I hate when you give me attention?”

You’re fully crying now and Bradley wants to hold you. But you won’t let him. And he has no idea what’s even going on anymore. And he’s tired and confused and hasn’t been able to function properly since you started pulling away from him—

“I heard you,” your voice is small, broken, but Bradley hears it. “When you were talking to Bob about me. I heard you.”

“She’s just kind of clingy.”

The memory strikes Bradley suddenly and he winces. “Fuck. Toots—”

You wipe at the tears on your cheek with the back of your hand. “I’m sorry for being so clingy, I didn’t mean to be. I’m trying to be better.”

Bradley feels sick. Like he just got punched in the gut. Because you’re crying, and scared, and insecure, and it’s his fault. It was his careless words that made you feel this way, his inability to love you properly. He's unsure how to fix. Worried he might just make it all worse. And he really doesn't want to make it worse.

“Can I please hold you?” He whispers hoarsely.

You look up at him, surprise evident in your features, before you nod wearily. Bradley’s slow to reach for you, like you’re some kind of wounded animal, and he places you into his lap. His hands move under your shirt so he can touch your skin, his fingers tracing various patterns. For a moment all he can do is feel you. Your hair against his nose, your weight against his chest. Bradley finally feels like he can breathe again.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything, but he feels something wet against his neck and he moves a hand to cup the back of your head tenderly.

“I’ve never been good with shit like this. It was all so new to me that I wasn't used to it, I thought I didn’t like it. But this past week and a half? God, toots, I was losing my fucking mind,” Bradley swallows, still rubbing your back as your sniffles die down. “I guess— I guess, I do hate shit like that, but never when you're the one doing it.”

You lift your head from his neck, your eyes puffy and red, and you study Bradley for any traces of deceit. “You mean it?”

Bradley nods, sitting up so he can kiss you softly. You reciprocate, gaining more confidence as he deepens it, your lips moving against his and your fingers get lost in the base of his curls. Though you’re completely on top of him, you’re still not close enough for Bradley, his hand moving from the back of your head to your jaw to holding your throat loosely.

When you pull away to breathe, Bradley grumbles, chasing your lips, and you giggle softly. You're staring at him, lips slightly swollen from kissing and eyes looking sweetly from behind your lashes. Bradley groans, bumping his forehead against your collarbone.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” his hands run up your thighs. “Thinkin’ I didn’t want this. Don’t want anything but this.”

You still seem hesitant, biting your lip as you look down at your fingers. “What if I get too clingy?”

“You’re not clingy, tootsie,” and Bradley has this way of saying things that make them always sound like they're true. “You just love people with everything you’ve got and we’re all lucky enough to experience it.”

And when your face lights up and your arms wrap around his neck and you’re kissing him again, Bradley decides that he’s going to love you with everything he’s got too.

#bradley bradshaw blurb #bradley bradshaw x toots #monsters in the dark #under the hard deck #buggy's got a pen

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jupiter-letters · 3 months

Text

Dating Oliver Queen would include:

Fem!Reader or GN!Reader TW: Suggestive content

A/N: There is not enough oliver queen fics on the internet like this man is so fine. 😩😩😩 You guys need to wake up and appreciate him I'm so serious. This is gonna be based off comic/jlu oliver since I don't rock with the live action one. We don't like live action counter parts in these parts.

In the beginning it doesn't take much for him to work up the courage to ask you out. You weren't having it at first given his reputation, all the girls and boys couldn't get enough of Oliver Queen. This inital skepticism in his motives leads to him trying to win you over, aka impressing you. This results in a cute little back and forth with you two. Him going bigger and bigger with his gestures and you shaking your head amused at his antics. You do cave eventually seeing how far he'll go to get your attention.

You can't go on missions with him at all. At first he's taking everything as seriously as he's supposed to but, the last half he's fooling around.

God forbid it's a stakeout, yeah you both need to keep a look out but he just wants to kiss you for 5 minutes that's all. He teases you about it too he's so annoying. He'll get real close when you're looking out your binoculars and whisper in your ear, "Come on honey you know you wanna kiss me." wink wink nudge nudge. Of course you end up making out on a rooftop only stopping when an explosion goes off in the distance.

He loves taking you on trips, spoiling you in general. Even if you insist you don't need anything he just likes giving you stuff. You need new headphones? Got it. You need a new car, say no more he's got it.

When things get difficult he likes to try to joke just to see you smile, or elevate some tension. Oliver isn't the type of guy to do nothing when his partner is feeling down. He at his core is very proactive, if the jokes don't work he'll make your favorite drink or take you for a drive.

If you are a superhero/vigilante, he makes sure he gets paired up with you so he can have your back. Powers or no powers he doesn't want you to go alone. If you're a civilian, he checks in on you during missions. He could be mid-fight and call you about how your day was. "So....What are you wearing?" SMASH! CRASH! SHATTER! "Hang on one sec honey!" When he does get injured he tries to play it off like it's not as bad as it actually is. He'll melt when you take of his injuries, he'll never be quieter than when you do that.

He really doesn't like to sleep without you, some nights he gets nightmares about being back on the island. You're always there to comfort him after, being able to hold you when you both sleep is very grounding for him. Being able to wake up next to you is best part of his day, he likes to sneak off while you're sleeping and make pancakes.

Having to go with him undercover to gather intel, he going to have a very hard time concentrating when you get dressed up. He's having a conversation with Bruce and Dick when you walk in. As soon as you come into his view his mind goes blank for a moment. Dick has to snap his fingers in front of Oliver's face to bring him back to Earth. He CANNOT be away from you all night after that, of course you get the info you need but he won't stop complimenting you.

"Yeah I agree with you gorgeous." "Of course beautiful, duly noted." "Creeps like that aren't coming anywhere near you pretty." "You might be too smart for me good-looking." "I can't wait to get out of here you look stunning tonight."

He is your biggest fan, when he wants to make a decision he asks for your input. In the watchtower and the hall of justice, during mission briefings he makes sure you can voice your opinion uninterrupted. He'll even buy merch of your superhero logo, you might walk into his mansion and see him wearing a shirt with your logo on it. Oliver may even get you a green arrow shirt and look at you like this 🥺🥺 to get you to wear it.

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

#oliver queen x reader #green arrow x reader #dc comics headcanons #dc comics x reader #justice league x reader #justice league unlimited imagines #~⋆｡°tales from the dreaming #dcau x reader #reader insert #dc animated imagine

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konpetti · 4 months

Note

hihi could I request crazy b relationship hcs!!!

☆ ・lovers

ft. amagi rinne, himeru, oukawa kohaku, shiina niki

notes: i feel like i made everyone but rinne ooc this is so bad IM SORRY ,,,

･:*+. amagi rinne

dates come in two types: exciting and relaxing. it depends on what your mood and his mood is in, or your schedules. surprisingly he considers a lot of things while planning a date... sometimes. the other times, he's impulsively taking you somewhere in the middle of the day when there's nothing else to do.

the exciting dates are usually last-minute unplanned ones. what even are you guys gonna do today? more or less you end up in an arcade with a few games rinne (or you) has been dying to try, or a pachinko parlor with nothing but a couple of coins in your pocket for this kind of thing. maybe even shopping too...

don't worry, rinne has kept some coins so both of you can come home after this. or not. just hope he won't spend it accidentally...

more relaxed dates are 50/50: planned ones in advance, or it's just you two unexpectedly going on a date. a drive around town with the windows open, grabbing a drink at a nearby store and sipping away at conversation, or maybe lounging in bed while watching a movie and cuddled up together. it's the little things, really

he's an absolute sucker for affection. nothing too loud or flashy in public though (though he IS that kind of person), just the simple kiss on the back of your hand, on the lips, forehead, interlocking your hands together, hell, if he could, he's give you piggy back rides if you're feeling tired. he'll laugh at your flustered state though, but not in an insulting way. pickup lines are his forte too, expect one everytime he gives you any affection.

lives? oh he's always waiting for you. he's searching for you in the crowd, sending you a wink your way when he sees you. lord have mercy for all his fans around you, they might fall to their knees... maybe you're one of them too. your congratulations at the end of every live is worth it, so he gives it his all while having fun~

if you asked any crazyb member how he is around, they'd shake their heads and sigh. let's just say he talks about you a lot. a lot a lot. his pride and joy, even

i'm not so sure about how his hometown may react to you, but if rinne chose you, then you must be good to him. so i think they'd allow it. hiiro is very supportive!

- a fun and loving guy. what more could you ask for?

･:*+. himeru

dates are very... fancy? all of them are planned out in advance with your input, don't mind the cost for a second here. of course if you prefer not-so fancy or non-grandiose dates, he'll take that into consideration. each date is almost perfect, suited to your tastes no matter how insane or simple they may be.

...but what about himeru's tastes, you ask? um... well... yeah, himeru would say it's to his tastes too but you can't be so sure right.... either way, he makes sure you know if you're uncomfortable, and he often checks up on you on how you're feeling. feeling ill/sick/tired? take a rest, himeru insists.

with affection, he keeps it on the low publicly. a simple kiss here and there, some words of affirmation and maybe a gentle pat on your shoulder. in private, it used to be exactly the same since he can't really show his feelings well (and probably wants to keep distance) but... soon enough, with a little bit of time... he gets closer. and a bit more affectionate. which means more lingering kisses

he gives it his absolute all during lives. like if he wasn't already then he absolutely is going so hard at lives. does the same thing with rinne, searching for you in the crowd and subtly sending a wink your way. at least like this, he can brush it off as fanservice on camera... but you know it's for you <3

rinne is ecstatic, probably telling you all about what himeru's doing during practices and when you arent around. that one time he smiled at the mention of your name, him stopping by a store he knew you liked on the way to practice... kohaku comments on that too. niki as well.

i guess you really have an effect on him, hm?

･:*+. oukawa kohaku

stopping by a sweet store for any of your dates is an absolute must. maybe it already came planned in kohaku's date plan, or it was completely impulsive. either way, your dates often end (or start) very sweetly with a good bite of his favorite sweet. he might even give you some of his, if he's feeling extra happy...

not a fan of sweets? that's fine. he'll just quickly buy some for himself

your dates vary, but kohaku always ensures they're safe from any sort of danger to you. he's fine with the thrill, not so much with horror-related attractions, but anything that could potentially hurt you in any way is an absolute no to him. it'll take a whole lot of convincing and proof that what you want to do is (at least somewhat) safe, if you want to go for a more dangerous/risky activity. (don't scare him though, please...)

affection... is a bit tricky on his end. he's fine with you being affectionate, a simple hug or pat on the shoulder is fine (not patting his head though... playing with his hair is OK) and he smiles ever so faintly from it. in public he might get flustered easily at even the idea of giving back that affection (except when he hugs you protectively when the situation calls for it)... but privately, he'll give it all back. a kiss on the cheek, a soft hug... but he prefers showing his love through helping you out more.

if his performance isn't already great, it seemed to get better after he knew you were going to watch? he also sends you a wink, which causes a massive stir around you. i think kohaku barely does fanservice, so imagine your favorite idol literally winking at /you/?! of course everyone goes insane. but that wink was just for you~ (not like you get way more affections back home...)

crazy:b was surprised at first knowing kohaku, the youngest of all three, was the first one out of the three to get a significant other. not himeru though (or at least not visibly.) expect rinne to tease the absolute shit out of both of you, good luck.... oh, and tsukasa? might be doubtful at first, but if his cousin wills it, he is very supportive!

...he might've grown soft at your presence...

･:*+. shiina niki

dates? you already know where. that restaurant you've both been trying to dine. or maybe walking around town, trying out all the foods people are serving around in small shops. you could make a food blog from all the little things you both have tried (of course, he makes sure to avoid stores that could trigger any food allergies you may have)

or, let's say you both are on a very tight budget. that's fine— niki loves to cook anyway! it doesn't even have to be a date, he'd cook meals for the both of you and even teach you how to cook certain dishes. it doesn't matter if you're bad or good, he'll help out on parts you might stumble on~ and in turn, you can do the same. every meal is served with a plate of food straight from the pan, and each bite is as warm and comforting as him

speaking of warm and comforting, he likes giving hugs the most. whether it'd be from behind, facing each other, being hugged, or consoling you with a hand on your head and an arm wrapped around your waist, he loves it all. he also loves giving other forms of affection, like kisses all around your face and holding your hands. he is the same publicly and privately when it comes to affection, unless for any circumstance where he can't show you love.

(he can spoonfeed you if you want)

sometimes you can notice in lives that niki makes a lot of mistakes in choreography... but that's fine! that's part of his charm~ niki's trying harder though, knowing you're in the crowd... and if he spots you, you can see how his eyes immediately lights up and he might even send a kiss your way. not just a wink, no, a kiss. i wish the best for those around you, they may never recover from niki shiina's flying kiss...

expect rinne to say a lot about niki after announcing your relationship to them. and i mean a lot. a lot lot. niki butts in and quickly tries to divert the conversation sometimes, and kohaku and himeru are just watching. they're supportive despite their silence, don't worry!

everything he does for you is made with love~

#enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars #amagi rinne x reader #rinne amagi x reader #himeru x reader #kohaku oukawa x reader #oukawa kohaku x reader #shiina niki x reader #niki shiina x reader #crazy:b x reader #not kaname! not kaname! this is oremeru!#enstars headcanons #writing

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daceydeath · 1 month

Text

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 7)

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to stay away you couldn't even if it might cost you everything and leave you heartbroken you couldn't ignore him

There was no way you could ask for Innie's input on what to wear on your date, since you weren't even sure where you were going or what you would be doing and especially since he was not going to approve of you going on said date with Felix. Now would have been a good time to ask Nali's opinion or advice if she hadn't turned out to be the worst friend you could have ever made. So your next logical idea was to go through your socials to see what other girls wore on their dates with their boyfriends to give you an idea of what you should look like or how much effort you needed to put in without overdoing it.

You went to sit in the lounge so that you didn't look like you were hiding yourself away as Jeongin eventually surfaced from his room looking sheepish and he and Seungmin started planning their night out.

"Did you want to come with us again tonight? We will make sure one of us will be with you all the time" Jeongin asked, still looking dusty from the night before.

"No I think one party everyday is a little too much for me" you sighed looking at him "Maybe one next week".

"Ok we can live with a maybe for now" he grinned as Seungmin rolled his eyes as you phone beeped.

Ok how does a movie and a walk down by the river sound baby? You read the message twice before you slowly typed a reply so you didn't look too excited in front of Seungmin and Jeongin so you thought for a moment before sending it.

That sounds great Felix what time and where should I meet you?. Movies and walks were mostly casual so you didn't need to dress up and have too many questions asked about where you were going.

I'm going to pick you up baby, If the others have a problem with it they can just deal with it.

They can just deal with it, you read the words again and again before you realized that you should probably answer him so you quickly agreed and went back to thinking about what you would wear and what you would tell the boys when Felix showed up to take you out on a date out of the blue. Seungmin and Jeongin were still talking about the party when your brain tuned you back into the conversation.

"Next party we will need to dress you in less attractive clothing too to keep you a little more hidden from drunk idiots" Jeongin nodded seriously

"Or I could come and find one of you or the others to help me get a ride home, surely no one is going to bother me with one of you with me" you smiled unsure if that was the right response to keep them happy.

"Actually that would be better" Seungmin grinned "find either me or Innie or any of the others even if it's Felix or Hyunjin they will always try to keep you safe and will wait for you to get in a taxi or something before they go back to partying".

"So are we cooking before you go or ordering in?" you asked cheekily hoping you wouldn't need to cook before you go out.

"We were going to meet Han and Changbin for dinner before we hit the party so you can have whatever you like" Jeongin winked as though you would get up to all sorts of mischief being left alone to make your own dinner. You chuckled thinking that he had no idea what you were going to get up to once they left even though to be honest you were slightly nervous about that yourself if you were being honest.

You had picked out an outfit while you pretended you were cleaning up and Seungmin and Jeongin were getting ready so that they had no clue you were up to something. It made you feel like you were in a TV drama sneaking out of the house to meet the star crossed lover who would whisk you away to his castle as opposed to just meeting Felix but it made your heart race the same way his smile did. You were still lost in your head when you heard Seungmin calling your name loudly, shaking the romantic fantasizing from your mind, you opened your door confused as to why he was yelling.

"Sorry Seung, what's wrong?" you smiled tilting your head.

"You ok? you didn't answer when I called out to you" he furrowed his brow slightly scrutinizing you.

"I was in the bathroom" you lied instantly hoping he would drop it.

"Sorry" he scratched his head as he backed away from your bedroom door "we're going now just wanted to let you know"

"Well I will try to survive without you both" you teased smiling as he walked towards to door "don't bring any psychos home with you".

"Oh, fuck off" Seungmin grinned as Jeongin laughed from the hall before you heard them both putting on their shoes and the door opening and closing. You smiled to yourself suddenly feeling a weight fall away from your shoulders about how exactly you would have explained dating Felix to the pair of them so suddenly.

Getting yourself ready you sat fiddling with your jeans as you tried to distract yourself from your nerves but flicking TV channels and eventually settling on an episode of a drama that you couldn't pay attention to. After what felt like a lifetime the door buzzer rang sending a spike of nervous excitement straight through your heart as Felix appeared on the small screen looking as dangerously handsome as always. Pressing the buzzer to let him in you told yourself to not wait at the door for him to know instead bouncing on the balls of your feet at the opposite end of the hall staring at the door instead. When Felix did knock on the door your heart skipped a beat, his eyes soft as he stepped into the apartment cupping your jaw and kissing you softly.

"You look gorgeous baby" he smiled reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers "are you ready to go?".

"Yes Lix" you smiled back feeling your cheeks heating up as he looked you up and down.

"Do you need to say goodbye or anything?" he whispered cheekily looking past you up the hallway.

"No the boy left early to meet the others" you grinned letting him lead you from the apartment and towards the elevator. You traveled down to the ground floor with Felix's arm wrapped around your waist holding you to his side gently which continued until you got down the several blocks it took to get to the movie complex only letting you go to buy your tickets and popcorn which he insisted on carrying until you were both seated in the back of the cinema.

"You know you didn't even tell me what we were seeing, Lix" you teased softly taking a few pieces of popcorn and popping one into your mouth.

"Well I remembered that you liked actions and thrillers but there aren't any good thrillers so it is going to be John Wick" he admitted the corners of his lips quirking up hen your mouth formed a silent o.

"You remembered that?" you whispered as the lights dimmed around you for the previews to begin.

"I try to remember everything you say" he admitted sultrily leaning in to whisper in your ear, the feeling of his breath on you skin making your skin erupt on a wave of goosebumps as he moved the armrest that sat between you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

You sat in silence for the film enjoying as much as you could of both what was happening on the screen and the warmth and feeling of Felix breathing beside you for the almost three hours it took for the movie to end. But even then you only managed to focus on half of the plot as you spent the other half having to focus on how to remain acting natural. Once the lights came back on and the credits rolled Felix his you with another one of his dazzling smiles.

"Do you still want to go for that walk by the river or would you like me to take you back home?" He asked genuinely, seeming happy to do either option depending on how comfortable you were.

"I think I would like to go for that walk Lix" you bit your lip slightly hoping that this was the answer he was wanting to hear.

"If my baby wants to go for a walk then we will go for a walk" he teased holding out his hand for you to take as he began leading you from the cinema. You noticed a few girls stare at Felix as you walked past them and back out onto the street their faces turning into a frown when they saw him holding your hand. He seemed oblivious but it dimmed your smile slightly. You knew they were wondering how someone like him could have any interest in someone like you and that hurt you a little but when Felix squeezed your hand gently as you began to walk towards the river you couldn't help the little flutter that erupted in your chest.

Walking hand in hand for the next few blocks that would take you to the riverfront you decided that making conversation would prevent you being too awkward about this being a first date with anyone let alone Felix.

"So what exactly did you plan on telling Seung and Innie when you picked me up tonight?" you asked bashfully looking up at him.

"Well" he paused for a moment still smiling "I was thinking that I was just going to say that I wanted to make sure you were alright after the party, but honestly I hadn't really thought about it" he admitted meeting your eyes briefly before looking ahead once more.

"Well at least you're honest" you sighed thankful that the boys had been out when you left the apartment.

"In truth I figured they would be in too much shock to actually say anything and that we would have escaped before they snapped out of it" he chuckled making you smile in relief.

"I mean they probably would have been shocked for ages that you wanted to take me on a date" you shrugged smirking at the thought of them standing in the hallway with their mouths agape

"And why wouldn't I want to take my smart and beautiful girlfriend on a date?" he teased nudging your shoulder playfully as you entered the park walking between the large gates that separated the gardened area from the street

"I didn't mean it like that Lix I meant they would have been shocked that I had a date" you back peddled quickly looking up at him with wide eyes "I didn't mean they would be shocked at you going on a date"

"I know baby I was teasing" he soothed pulling you closer to wrap his arm around your shoulders and you let the movement lull the conversation for a while

You had made sure you wore a light sweater so that you wouldn't be too cold on the waterfront and you were glad you had as the wind picked up to a chilly breeze as you walked together under the fairy lights that were strung through the trees on the riverwalk. You hadn't really checked the weather but you knew at this time of year the breeze was always cool at night obviously Felix hadn't either as you realized the clouds were gathering overhead much quicker than normal. Looking up at the sky frowning Felix muttered something under his breath before turning to you

"Looks like we're running out of time baby" he sighed wrinkling his nose slightly as you nodded feeling disappointed as the clouds had finally blocked out all of the stars.

"I guess we will save this for the next date?" you smiled softly which made his eyes light up.

"Yes we will absolutely save this for the next date or maybe the third date?" he smirked as you tried to hide your excited smile. Walking back towards the park gate you thought you felt the first spot of rain but you weren't sure, however, this changed when the skies suddenly opened up above you and rain began pouring down on you both.

"Fuck" Felix swore loudly tucking you into his side and wrapping his jacket around you as he guided you under a large tree "We can go back to my place its only a block from here and when it stops I'll get you a cab home". You looked at him blankly for a moment unsure of what to say to not sound like a fool or ungrateful.

"This isn't some kind of ploy I promise" he reassured you quickly noticing how your expression had changed "I just don't want either of us to catch a cold and it's quite a walk to your place from here and if we try to get a cab we will get even more drenched than walking to my place" he reasoned.

"It's ok Lix I know you won't do anything I don't want you to" you smiled gently your brain catching up with what he was saying.

"We can dry off there and wait out the rain and most of the way there is covered so we won't get too wet" he gestured to his already soaking wet hair.

"Lets go Lix, lead the way" you urged, letting him continue to hold you as close to you as he could to try to keep you dry and warm as the pair of you darted your way from cover to cover for the 5 minutes it took to get to his place. Quickly making your way through the lobby and into the elevator you were surprised when a doorman appeared as the door to the lift opened on the 15th floor who Felix waved at before leading you to his front door and letting you in helping you to slip off your shoes before going to find you some towels for your hair and clothes.

You had known that Felix, Hyunjin and Minho shared an apartment, Seungmin had mentioned it to you ages ago, but you didn't realize how nice of an apartment it would be. They lived in the river district that was considered one of the highest valued areas in the city and their apartment overlooked not only the river but parks that you had just been walking in. Standing on the tiles of the kitchen floor to avoid dripping water on the carpet you could see the lights of the city through the massive lounge room windows as you waited for Felix to return carrying towels and something that looked like clothing.

"I'll show you to the bathroom and you can change into these before we get your clothes in the dryer" Felix suggested handing you the pile of fabric and leading you into the bathroom while he cleaned up the drips on the tiled floor.

Closing the door behind you, you took in your surroundings. It was a much nicer bathroom than yours. The tile looked like actual marble and it was large enough to have an actual tub and a double sink. Slowly you put the towel down on the cabinet before you realized that Felix had given you a pile of his clothes, sweatpants, t shirt and the hoodie you had seen him in the morning you spoke to him in the gardens. Shaking the memory from your mind you peeled your wet sweater over your head grateful that you hadn't gotten soaked to the bone so at least your bra was still mostly dry, you wrapped your hair in the towel and squeezed as much water as you could from it before changing into the pants and t shirt before opening the door and finding Felix waiting for you his eyes glazing over slightly when he saw you.

"I'll just need you to put these in the machine hopefully they won't take too long to dry out" you smiled shyly holding up the towel and your sweater and jeans but Felix didn't react " Lix?" you asked, tilting your head to watch him and shaking your clothes in front of him.

"Sorry, just got a bit lost in how good you look in my shirt" he replied, clearing his throat slightly and reaching out to grab the wet items as your cheeks burned. "Did you want to hang in the lounge and watch another movie or get some food?" he continued his signature smile returning.

"Yeah sounds good" you nodded trying to play it cool and walking yourself into the lounge to wait for him to return. You sat on the large plush couch and began fiddling with the bottom of the shirt, the soft dark fabric making you feel incredibly comforted despite your awkwardness.

"Did you want me to order us any particular food?" Felix questioned as he walked back into the room as you realized for the first time that he too was in sweatpants and a white t shirt and looking like he should be in a magazine pictorial.

"Whatever you want Lix" you smiled as he sat down beside you "I'm not fussy". He chuckled softly in response and ordered you something quickly before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him and causing you to yelp in surprise. The action seemed slightly less practiced to his usual moves, making you pause.

"Sorry baby" he laughed musically "just wanted you close to me" he grinned turning the TV on and selecting one of the streaming services they had to find something to watch. He settled on a drama that you hadn't seen but you didn't care you knew you were not going to be paying much attention to it anyway just like the movie from earlier in the evening.

"Lix?" you asked tentatively tilting your head back to lean against his chest and look at him studying his facial expression.

"Hmm" he hummed in response, his eyes on the screen in front of you.

"You know I don't think this is a ploy to get me to sleep with you right?" you almost mumbled feeling a little embarrassed that he still might think that after your hesitation earlier "So you don't need to be extra careful with me".

"You sure baby?" he smiled sweetly finally looking at you his eyes searching your own to be sure you meant what you said "I don't want to make you uncomfortable and also I've um... how do I actually put this?..." he trailed off his brown creasing slightly and making your anxiety spike "I've never brought anyone here before".

"I'm sorry what?" you almost spluttered your anxious feeling turning to confusion as to how one of the members of the man whore trio hadn't brought any women to his apartment before.

"Well this is where we live I always said I would only bring girls I was really serious about here" he admitted a pretty pink dusting of blush appearing on his freckled cheeks. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he would be able to hear it, trying to process that he insinuated that you were special to him and that you were the only one to be special to him in all his time sleeping around. All you could manage was to open your mouth to say something but nothing came out which Felix took as his moment to gently place his lips on yours kissing you sweetly his plush lips feeling perfect against your own. The moment however, was short lived as the door buzzer chimed to let you know that the food order had arrived. Untangling himself from you he went to collect the food from the lobby of the building leaving you to contemplate what he had just told you.

Felix had ordered from your favorite bakery and you were very happy to tuck into one of their chocolate filled croissants as he watched you smiling enjoying the look of bliss on your face. After eating and drinking everything he had ordered you found yourself still held captive by the sound of the rain still pattering against the large windows and it was well past midnight by this point which made you a little uneasy again.

"What's wrong baby?" Felix asked you tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, while you sat with your legs across his lap

"It's still raining" you sighed before looking at him and giving him a shy smile "do you think my clothes will be dry by now? I should probably get home"

"I'll check for you" he nodded, moving your legs carefully before making his way to the laundry room while you packed up the food containers and took them into the kitchen to sort.

"Fuck" you heard him curse loudly before you walked back around to the lounge to find him walking back in his hand running though his hair.

"What's happened?" you blinked unsure of what the problem was.

"I'm sorry baby, really I put your clothes in the dryer with mine and I didn't start the machine, I'm so sorry" Felix apologized quickly looking annoyed with himself "But I can get you home in my clothes or you could stay for a little while longer they should only take like an hour to dry"

"Lix I can't go home in your clothes if Seung or Innie see me I'll never be able to explain it" you sighed, worrying your lower lip nervously.

"Then stay here, we can watch another movie in my room so that if either of the guys come back they won't drunkenly annoy us or become a pair of menaces" he smiled tentatively a ghost of his smile gracing his lips.

"One more movie can't hurt Seung and Innie are probably both too smashed to even know I'm not home yet" you nodded making a smile bloom on Felix's face.

"Come on then, I'll put another action movie on as long as you let me cuddle you" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at you making you giggle. Felix was being incredibly patient with you and you knew it but you appreciated that he wasn't going to push you into anything you weren't ready for so it was an easy decision to follow him to his room you trusted him.

You stood in his bedroom looking from the desk that you could tell was used purely for gaming judging from the custom keyboard and multiple monitors, to the stupidly large TV attached to the far wall, the shelves that contained random figures and gaming consoles and finally his bed which he was now sitting on looking at you curiously.

"Is this the first time you have had someone like me in your room?" you asked, feeling suddenly shy at the idea of being the first girl in this room.

"You mean are you the first girlfriend I've had in my bedroom?" he chuckled teasingly, you couldn't help but preen at the term girlfriend even though he had called you that before. "Yeah you are, first one in this room and first one in my bed" he smiled softly making you swallow loudly.

"So what did you want to watch?" you asked changing the subject as smoothly as you could not failing to notice the slight smirk gracing his lips as you made your way to sit next to him on the bed.

"I don't know I figured we could get comfy then decide" he shrugged pulling you further onto the bed and making you laugh. After a few awkward moments of figuring out where each of you would fit you settled on his left side sitting against the headboard leaning against him as he scrolled through some movies and randomly pressed play. The opening scene was a bank robbery with the villains in ski masks brandishing shot guns and police cars racing to the bank but you were already distracted by Felix drawing patterns on the inside of the wrist he was holding in his lap. The trace of his fingers sending small electric shocks through your skin and straight to your heart after a few minutes he lifted your hand to his lips kissing your wrist lightly and making you gasp.

"I know I said watch a movie but I would prefer to kiss you" he whispered "if that's ok". Instead of answering him you turned your head to face him almost brushing his lips with yours silently giving him permission.

"You're so beautiful" he murmured, closing the gap between you and gently pressing his lips to yours, the softness against your own making you melt into him slightly. Felix quickly but gently maneuvered you so you were now straddling his lap, his hands cupped your jaw as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips seeking entrance to your mouth which you gave him enthusiastically. Felix's kisses were less intense and more sensual than the last time he kissed you, making you moan softly into his mouth.

"God I love the noises you make, so pretty" he breathed against your lips as you parted for air.

"Lix" you panted, feeling like your head was spinning.

"I've got you baby" he mumbled, connecting his lips back to yours, your hands moving on their own, one threaded its way into his hair and the other grasping his shirt to anchor yourself to him, your hips pressing against his crotch as you desperately tried to get closer to him. You had no idea how much time passed from when he first kissed you to when he finally pulled back from you pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"We need to stop now baby" he panted quietly, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your own "I won't be able to behave myself if we keep going". You flushed with embarrassment quickly moving to get out of his lap and sit back on the bed beside him.

"I'm sorry" you groaned, covering your hands with your face making him laugh.

"So cute" he chuckled, pulling your hands slowly away from your face and leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose. "You did nothing wrong baby, I just need to make sure I don"t cross any lines".

"Thank you Lix" you smiled shyly, looking up at him through your lashes.

"The things you do to me baby" he shook his head taking a deep breath wrapping you back up in his arms but in a much less compromising position before he started the movie again.

You didn't remember falling asleep but you must have because when you opened your eyes you were still in Felix's bed but you were alone and the morning light was filtering into the room between the gaps in the curtains. Sitting up you realized that you were still dressed in his clothes but that your clothes sat on his computer desk folded neatly and waiting for you shifting yourself out of the bed you stretched and padded your way across the carpeted floor to his bathroom knocking but finding it empty you went inside to change and clean yourself up a little before you would have to make your way home and hopefully be able to play off your being absent as going for an early morning walk. Making your way towards the lounge you were made aware it was no longer just you and Felix in the apartment as several voices were talking all at once. Pausing you waited to see if you should show yourself or hide yourself back in the bedroom.

"You were the one that suggested the rule mate" Minho complained, his voice rough from the night before but still obviously annoyed.

"We agreed there were no random girls in the apartment so what makes this one different?" Hyunjin added blandly.

"This isn't like that" Felix defended his voice exasperated as he tried protecting you in your absence.

"Then what is it like? There is no way it's her in your room right now" Minho continued his voice getting louder as he teased.

"Thanks for the boost in confidence" Felix groaned, sounding particularly done with what must have been an ongoing joke.

"I swear if you don't get your shit together and get together I'm going to steal her" Hyunjin declared cackling as he sounded like he moved quickly from the room.

"You're both arsehole you know that" Felix called after them as he walked towards where you were standing. Moving yourself further down towards his bedroom door you decided to make it look like you had just stepped out of his room

"Morning baby" Felix beamed as he saw you in his doorway pulling you into a cuddle.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep Lix" you mumbled nuzzling into him softly.

"It's alright baby but let's get you home while the idiots here are showering" He raised his eyebrows to indicate behind him.

"Lets but can I borrow a hoodie weather app says it's going to be cold this morning?" you ask watching his eyes light up.

A/N: I'm Sorry this has taken so long but I lost my steam for a while but I'm back now :) Once again thank you for reading my work and your likes, reblogs and comments are amazing xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @choisoorin

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stuckasmain · 3 months

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I often think about how Hal is granted the humanity that Dave is so often denied. Both within the narrative and outside of it. 2001 has had a number of interpretations and articles over the years and I’ve noticed a pattern of seeing Hal as having more agency than he does while also diminishing Dave’s. This pattern I’ve also noticed among some fans. However, interestingly inside and outside the story this “giving/taking” of humanity has to do with projection.

Hal is personified by just about everyone who interacts with him. As humans we love to humanize the inanimate and inhuman, we love to recognize and prescribe traits things may not truly have. In the case of Hal this is amplified due to the fact that he can talk. If he couldn’t talk and it was simply keyboard input he’d still be personified as it’s simply human nature to do so. The computer is doing a good job, it dings and sounds happy so we’re more inclined to act like it is happy.

Hal was made to be spoken to like another person being, he was made to be curious and self learning and autonomous. He was, practically, made to be a human. He reproduces (though some prefer “mimic”) most functions of the human brain. The people he interacts with respond to his intelligence as well as his speech, they’re pleasantly surprised by his curiosity and ability to hold conversations. He was made to be comforting and talkable in that way but one can so easily forget Programing once speaking with him. What is coding and what is real? His learning is real, he is made to change so could he not have genuinely developed feelings? Not even Hal knows.

The humans he interacts with treat him as if he has a brain, not is the brain. When he acts up and things go array the hard and cold facts are never mentioned. There are no technical terms malfunction is illness, deactivation is a lobotomy- re-teaching him after deactivation is recovery. To them he is so very alive until they are reminded he’s not, the true rough and robotic edged voice goes so far as to startle Dave when he hears it.

He is afraid. Suddenly his emotions are no longer hypothetical. He is vulnerable, he is alive and he does not want to die for he does not know sleep. When he wakes he’s afraid again— not knowing what or where just that they’ll be together.

Interpretations, by some fans, media outlets and analysts often times tend to take one of two camps with no in between. Hal is either Woobified or villainized. If emotions -> than bad emotions also exist and he did back things on purpose OR if emotions -> he’s scared and polite so forget all else. Both of these ignore the nuance and ignore that, as human as he is at the end of the day Hal is still bound by the laws of his mechanical nature. He is not as free willed as one views him to be.

Dave is human, and a well trained one. He is made of flesh and blood and bone and yet expected to act is if he is not. He is automatic and regimented - the human members of the crew being so in sync with the ship they’re almost apart of it. I’ve talked ad nauseam about Dave’s control over his emotions, how as an Astronaut you need to be calm and objective almost at all times and he is particularly good at pushing his emotions down to finish the job in a high stress situation. As we learn more about him it’s clear Dave is already a repressed person do to his past, this compounds with the training and how simply he’s introverted.

Dave (and Frank by extension) are not actually robotic or less emotional than their computer counterpart, it’s just the glimpses we see of them are on the clock. Their days are 100% accounted for in theory. You’re not going to have a huge smile a 6am or casually talk while your dealing with a delicate piece of equipment. What is shown is a montage, a long time has passed and we’ve seen the work and the “boring” as that was deemed important for the story—one should infer their conversations, their hobbies, movie or tv show nights etc.

I think another aspect that plays into this “robotic” perception is that it is the 60s. While being set in the near future it is an amazing case of retrofuturism where things are futuristic but there’s still noticeable elements of the time it was made. Clothing, social society, artutectite etc. in the 60s even casual speak was much more formal sounding then it is now— Dave is actually quite casual “how ya goin’?” “ basically” yet we perceive it differently.

Dave is automatic while the computer is not, Hal gets to enjoy the spontaneity one would expect of humans. This is due to his ability to be everywhere and do everything while also being able to focus on something else entirely. Dave is just a man- he’s limited, his focus is narrow and his reach only extends as far as his arms. Despite being a man he is not allowed the expression of one, not on the clock or in a life threatening situation. Hal can. Hal can vocally express his concerns, his fears — because it is vocal there is more weight on it. Dave expresses in subtle ways, the non verbal. These subtle, little controlled freak outs-> this is a human element Hal cannot replicate, his expression must be verbal and overt. As automatic and calculated as Dave is he is not barred from human nature and expression.

In the end it is fear that humanizes him the most, just like Hal. At the end of the star gate it holds on the shot of him wide eyed and trembling in the pod. Yet this feeling too is cut short, right when we may see a proper moment for him to express these human feelings… he’s no longer human. Literally.

But when we see him again we see him far more expressive than before, not held back by training or necessity. It’s subdued but he is feeling; he’s worried, he’s happy, he’s confused and scared and absolutely enchanted. Except this near omnipotence also hinders him, gets him to suppress further- too busy focusing on everything else to address feelings within— everything is so much bigger so he doesn’t have to think about himself.

It’s sort of an inverse where the narrative itself grants Hal his humanity but some fans and analysts are the ones to take it from Dave. As the story itself never explicitly denies his membership of the human race, even as he is transformed he’s full of reminders of it. His expression was restricted but never fully gone, where Hal as much as he grows is far more restricted by programming. Both of their limits tie back to earth and Mission Control— yet weren’t made maliciously that’s the interesting part… despite safety measures the discovery still suffers because of circumstance.

#2001 a space odyssey #2001 aso #dave bowman #hal 9000 #2001 meta #meta #fandom essay #scene analysis #charecter study #charecter analysis #long post #humanization

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