Tumgik
#like her hurt and jealousy over me is more important than WHAT IM ACTUALLY FEELING
lunarflwrs · 3 years
Text
&
4 notes · View notes
lyracasstuff · 3 years
Note
!!!! could i please get hcs for naib and demi (separately) with a princess s/o (fem)? like her role is a princess and all that jazz :D (i recently made a main which is this one, im an idv blog myself i just like requesting things for other blogs :D)
I really really like this request..(・∀・)
Although, please excuse me if these headcannons are shorter for your taste,, I had been busy for quite a while,, and so my brain juices are a little drained...(⌒_⌒;)
Also,, hello fellow idv blogger!!(〜^∇^)〜
Naib and Demi x Fem! Princess! S/o👑✨
Naib Subedar🌛🌌
Tumblr media
He would really be shocked and confused as to 1) HOW you got here? And 2) WHY are you here?
You, a ROYAL? Someone who's been sheltered and pampered ALL her LIFE, would PARTICIPATE in a gruesome game like THIS???
He really couldn't understand it..
Although he was very curious about you,, he *did* hold himself back from walking up to you and just bombard you with ALL sorts of questions..
So, it took the both of you some time to be acquainted with each other.. Naib started out small,, like greeting you with a rather stiff and rusty bow in an attempt to "match" with your own elegant courtesy whenever you two crossed paths..( ´ ▽ ` )
Or pulling your seat for you whenever you would sit down and prepare for a match..
To even lending you a hand in carrying your stuff when they were too heavy such as books, clothes, personal hygeine items, hair care, skin care, etc...
(Naib really wonders if you REALLY needed all of your 50 ballgowns and dresses...)
He just really wants you to feel at home despite being trapped in a manor..
On the topic of making you feel at home...
There's another thing aside from doing acts of service: protectiveness
He understands that you were most likely protected and guarded by knights before you went into the manor,, so you *probably* didn't know much about self defense...
So if anyone EVER tries to touch you, be it your hair, your face, your arm..
You can *BET* that Naib is going to be slapping said person's hand away while ushering you to get behind him..
He WILL do this to BOTH survivor OR hunter by the way...(。・ω・。)
You were very much pleased by Naib's protection and support,, he was just like your own personal butler and knight back home!!
Over time,, Naib's gestures had gotten bolder and bolder...
He went from doing acts of service, to teaching you how to kite, how to heal, how to rescue, how to vault windows, etc...
However,, you may or may not have teared up from the fact that you accidentally snagged a piece of your favorite dress from trying to put down a pallet...(^_^;)
Naib really panicked at that time.. He knows how to sew open wounds, not dresses and ballgowns!! (◎_◎;)
Nevertheless,, the both of you would still have fun by the end of the day..
Naib really couldn't help but be in love with you... How could he not though?? You were so sweet and elegant in everything that you do..
Even during the moments where you weren't the most elegant,, he still cherished it all the same..( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
Which is why he REALLY couldn't deny his jealousy and saltiness towards Wu chang, Joseph, heck,, even Mary sometimes.. Joseph and Mary are both nobles so OF COURSE you would relate to the aristocratic life,, and Wu chang were GUARDS before they got into the manor,, so OF COURSE they would serve as better protectors than he is..
Then, look at him,, he's nothing more than a man whose ENTIRE job revolves around killing targets that his clients propose.. Well,, at least that's what he thinks anyways..
Be that as it may,, Naib's mind would still be plagued by this thought.. So much so that He doesn't even notice that he's been distancing himself from you...
You aren't the same however... You KNOW that something's been disturbing him, you KNOW that something's upsetting him.. You can literally FEEL it..
And so,, in these times, you would decide to come visit him in his designated room,, all the while comforting him and telling him that while he may not be a noble or a guard,, you still love him regardless of his status and that you are grateful for everything that he's done for you..❤
Naib says nothing,, however, his body language and look of pure love and adoration on his face tells you everything you need to know..❤❤❤
That day has now marked an important event of your lives: the start of a new, blooming relationship..(⌒▽⌒)
First of all,, remember how I talked about his jealousy and protectiveness?? Well,, those just got amplified when you two are confirmed to be in a relationship now..
He sometimes does this thing where if someone wants to speak with you,, Naib would do either of these 2 things: either he asks you if you want to speak to them OR if he's feeling a little selfish with your time,, he just tells them to go "set up an appointment" with you...
He is really astonished at all the different kinds of spoons and forks, all the different etiquettes you follow, the amount of tiaras that you have...
And *especially* at how many relatives that you have.. Which was MUCH larger than the average family size...
((Fun fact: During the Victorian Era, the average family size was actually 6 children.. It had gone down by half by the end of said Era..))
I can't tell why,, but I have this headcannon in my mind that Naib actually prefers more simpler clothing on you.. He just doesn't like too much "eye clutter" per say...
That,, and there's just something so mesmerizing about your regal beauty meshing into the very simple clothing that Naib just finds so.. Heavenly..
All in all,, Naib is just dumbfounded and amazed as to how you had fallen in love with him and just how lucky he is at being with someone like you..
🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚
Demi Bourbon🍺🍷
Tumblr media
Much like Naib,, Demi over here is confused as to what a royal is doing here...
Unlike Naib, however, Demi is more upfront and straightforward and would just walk up to you and ask you directly..
"Woah!! Hey there!! What's a cute lil blueblood doin here??"
You get this question a LOT.. It stuck around for so long that it became an inside joke whenever Demi sees you in the same room as her...╮(─▽─)╭
Now,, she may be a girl,, but don't be fooled... She's surprisingly strong for her physique... So she'll DEFINITELY help you carry your stuff...
Just be prepared to be bombarded with ALL SORTS OF QUESTIONS about your stuff..
"Daaammnnn~ You royals really love your fancy schmancy stuff,, do you??"
"Ooooohhhh~~ A diamond encrusted necklace?? Hey, you wouldn't mind me borrowing it right??"
"This ball gown matches well with one of my costumes! Hey, how about we both dress up? We would REALLY look great together~❤"
You're going to have to get used to these questions someday...(・∀・)
She DOES teach you the basics,, but in all honesty, she never really lets you apply the things that you learned when you're actually in matches...
A hunter is right behind you?? You can bet that Demi will chug down her D.U.P.H.R.I.N, run as fast as she could and sweep you off your feet in a bridal carry..(^v^)
"It is I, Your Knight in shining armor!!"
This happens all the time in matches
A hunter is preparing to take a swing on you?? Well,, not on Demi's watch!! Before the hunter can swing their weapon at you, Demi takes one of her bottles and smashes it onto their head...
She DID lose some morality points for that though....
Eventually,, you had to tell Demi that as much as you appreciate her "support", you still have to stand on your own,, ESPECIALLY when Demi is not in the same match as you are..
Demi would *reluctantly* agree and say that she just can't stand the thought of you being hurt, she doesn't want you to be in harm's way because she knows that some survivors *probably* just see you as dead weight,, considering you've been pampered your whole entire life..
Demi would then go on and tell you that she had been taking a liking towards you, and is interested in being in a relationship with you..
"Listen, your highness, I may not be an ACTUAL knight in shining armor, or a prince from some far away land.. But, I'd still want to take a chance at persuing you.. So, what do you say? Will you allow me to take a chance at wooing your heart??"
You of course say yes,, besides, you don't really care if she is of noble blood or not.. Her bold and daring personality is what made you like her..
And thus,, your relationship has started!!
Demi gets a *little* protective over you,, ESPECIALLY when someone's trying to flirt with you..
"Ah, ah, ah, she's mine~~"
"Oi, she's already taken, you idiot! How about go flirtin with someone who's NOT TAKEN???"
Demi over here doesn't really have any problem regarding jealousy,, if anything,, YOU might be the one having some jealousy problems here and there..
Because Demi practically flirts with anything and everything..
Never fear!! Demi would ALWAYS be there to give you reassurance that you're her one and only..( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
After that,, she'll tone down her flirty nature by a couple of notches so as to not worry you too much...
Demi would also serve you drinks!! For FREE!!(ノ^o^)ノ
The best part about this is that,, not only are you getting it for free, but you're also getting the FINEST quality...
And she serves your drink in the most dramatic way possible,, all accompanied by a cheeky wink at the end..😉
"Only the FINEST for your highness~❤"
Overall,, your relationship with Demi is surely an exciting and playful one! But don't let that make you think that Demi doesn't take you seriously..
Because she does!! And she will ALWAYS take your relationship seriously!!❤❤❤
🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷
Author's note: I apologize if these headcannons are shorter and a bit "lackluster" for everyone's taste.. As stated before,, I had been busy as of late, so I wasn't able to regain much of my brain juices to write properly like usual..
Nevertheless,, I still hope that you enjoyed reading these headcannons!! (⌒_⌒;)(*´∀`*)
Until next time!! See you all in my next post!!ヾ(@^∇^@)ノ💚
Tumblr media
125 notes · View notes
sawtual · 3 years
Note
wow thanks! that was a really in depth post about it you make good points! when I played I definitely got the sense that monika had encouraged sayori to kill herself and I didn’t get the sense of any remorse when natsuki or yuri died or got fucked up but I guess u do make some good points there about how she was just trying to make them less desirable rather than kill them. I’m new to the game and the fandom so im not super familiar with everything yet but is there anything in the canon or lore that points away from monika having pushed sayori to commit suicide or is it mostly just fan theories and personal readings? either way thank u so much for answering!
yes i can absolutely find you some info on that!
there's quite a bit of information hidden within the games files, so I'm kind of assuming if you're new to the game, that you might not have seen these things? so ill dive into them too!
I'm gona do this under the cut so i can like, dissect things from the game !
(also i found stuff thats specifically pointing away from her meaning actual harm/death for Both yuri and sayori, jsyk)
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.txt (discovered in game files during act 2)
Tumblr media
“All I want is for you to hate them. Why is that so hard.”
not, all i want for them is to die. she doesnt want to kill them. she wants to separate us from them so we are with Her, not them. things spiral out of control, but it was never her intention for things to get this bad. ntm its repeated over and over in this game how badly monika wants to die. she's hanging on by a thread, keeping on only because she wants to be with us, to be in contact with reality. this leads to really unfortunate circumstances but i really strongly believe everything in the text alludes to the fact she did Not want things to get this bad
ACT 3 INTRO:
(im copy pasting a transcript of the monologue here, but this is taken from the very beginning of act 3, which you can see in this video starting at 25:56)
Tumblr media
imo this is all the proof needed to show that she really had no intention of ‘killing’ sayori and yuri. things spiraled out of control far beyond what she was capable of handling. 
her goals with making sayori more depressed and yuri more obsessive were, in here words “to just try to make them as unlikable as possible”. she didnt want her friends to brutally die!! she loved them q_q i feel like a lot of people really dont look at this specific part of what she says and take it to heart. its very telling for her character and important for understanding what she does and why she does it
ACT 3 MONOLOGUES:
sayori's hanging (cw: graphic descriptions of suicide)
Tumblr media
dialogue of importance:
"I was thinking about Sayori earlier... I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."
+
"Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." "So you can't really fault her for that." "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." "Still, though..." "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"
ok so whats important here, is monika is essentially using us, the player, as a mirror in act 3? the things she says i believe, very strongly show her sense of uncertainty in her actions, and her fears of what if she could have done something else??
"even though you could have saved her, its technically not your fault she killed herself" reads SO much to me like shes trying to comfort herself with this, she doesnt want it to be her fault. nothings real, sayori's a character in a game. but she wishes so badly they could have just been normal girls living together.
happy end poem
Tumblr media
OK SO LIKE. this is actual proof of Why she does everything she does. she's scared if she reaches out and tells us she's trapped in a game, we'll stop playing, we'll kill her. she tinkers with the game, trying to make herself look the best, trying to make us choose her, and nothing works. and this leads to her becoming frustrated and scared, and screwing with the game more and more desperately trying to do anything to save herself.
if you recall, in act 2, she gives you a poem which bluescreen the computer. this was actually an attempt she makes to escape the game q_q she never wanted to kill yuri, she never wanted things to escalate like that. she wanted to get out but she had no idea how to program her way out of the game, resulting in everything crumbling around her, and her friends dying.
my own route
Tumblr media
hang on this one genuinely makes me so upset.
it very much relates back to how in the conversation about sayori's suicide, she's still clearly thinking about how things could be Different. shes thinking about how they could be normal. "I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around..." , and then immediately trying to convince herself it doesnt matter, and that she doesnt care.
its so so obvious shes hurting and she misses her friends. the additional "i really dont (miss them)" at the end really shows that shes desperately trying to convince herself that it was worth it, that she did everything she should have, and her friends dont matter. but they clearly do matter to her. she loved them (she couldnt even delete them if u recall)
also another important part about this monologue, a lot of people say she killed the other girls out of jealousy, but this shows thats not true??
"I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway." "It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real."
this wasnt because shes 'in love' with us. she wanted to be close to something real, something tangible. she's clinging onto us, the player character, like someone lost at sea with a piece of driftwood, doing everything she can to stay afloat
wine
Tumblr media
ok this isnt on the surface level as important as the other ones, but literally look at how she talks about this memory.. she misses them so much and talking about this memory she clearly cherishes brings her so much joy. she doesnt belittle any of them, she doesnt talk down on them, she’s just reliving this memory because it makes her happy 
I HOPE THIS HELPS?? im sure theres a few more things im forgetting, but i did my best to scrabble up everything i could to show how monika’s not an evil mastermind, shes a scared girl who didnt realize what she was doing and when things got too bad, she did her best to fix it, only for it to get worse n worse
edit: oh heres the proof that monika always loved the girls and never actually deleted them
Tumblr media
:’)
edit 2: haha.. um ouch
Tumblr media
“It’s not right for me to miss things that weren’t even real in the first place.” shes forcing herself to try and ignore her feelings for the other girls
33 notes · View notes
necroissants · 3 years
Text
Okey so uhhh yea no one really asked but obviously thats not gonna stop me me!
Since I'm only just getting back into thinking about them and I have literally never done this before I'm going to just throw my thoughts out there like unshapely confetti and be like "go fetch!"
Also keep in mind that I did zero research before this and its all based on what I remember about the books when reading them like idk 7 years ago... I can not stress how little any of this might make sense lol
Ok here we go:
to start of unsuprisingly i think barely any of them are cishet (maybe with exception of Torte, I do not care for Torte)
I always read Melanie as a deeply closeted lesbian (esp bc of the Big Yikes Scene in the 5. Book)
And Trude definitely had a crush on her that she was aware of but stuffed deep deep down and chose to interpret as platonic admiration. Which is also why she always was boderline shitty to her bc she didnt know how to deal with that and tried to keep her at arms length.
Obviously that didnt work bc Trude is a Long Suffering Dramatic Gay who was willing to put up with way to much bullshit to stay close to her (I feel... seen lol)
(At some point when they got older they definitely would have to talk about this and I'd like to think that Meli did lots of deep self-reflection, maybe even went to Therapy, after her gay panic and eventually apologised to Trude)
I do think Meli and Willi actually did love each other but their relationship was based on a deep platonic understanding of each other
Willi understood Melanie better than anyone else and went along with her need to perform heterosexuality in front of their friends (like them making out around them constantly)
Which made it so hard for Meli when Willi actually fell in love with someone. Willi tried to stay friends with her but Melanie felt betrayed and abandoned and wasn't having it
I don't think the two of them actually talked about Meli being gay at the time although Willi kind of Knew but I think when Melanie finally stopped hiding it from herself Willi was the first person she told and they were inseparable again from that point on. The others just kind of assumed that they were back together
I remember even when I was reading the books for the first time at like 13 I was convinced that Wilma had the hugest intensest crush on Sprotte which she channeld into trying to impress all of the Hühner and join the Bande
And who could fault her if Sprotte was just out there in her shabby leopard leggings and wild red hair and over-all intensity and fierce loyalty to her friends who wouldn't have a gay awakening?!
Although that it was that was not immediately obvious to Wilma she definitely went that route of Very Intensely Wanting To Be Close to her and the others by extension
She kind of had to confront all those gay feelings once it became clear that those were not going away even after she joined the gang
Actually I think all of the Hühner, maybe with exception of Trude, had a crush on Sprotte at some point (I mean come on!!)
And Sprotte is definitely the kind of person who just Doesn't think about stuff until she absolutely has to! Although not in a violently outlashing denial way like Meli but in a "there is more important stuff to think about!" kind of way
Like that she has never really cared what gender the people she found interesting were or what gender she is. All of that is unimportant and a waste of time when the Pygmän are definitely planing something and they need to figure out what!!
At some point she would just accept that without much fuss and be like "allright then whatever"
Frida would deal with it in kind of a similar fashion although waaaaay less intense and more calm than Sprotte
She had that moment of "oh okey" much earlier that the others but because she is someone who does a lot of introspection anyway and is in general very calm about most things after carefully thinking them through she just very early on gained a level of comfort with her bisexuality
She did notice the stuff the others were going through because she is observant like that but didnt want to push
the only one she talked directly to about it is Trude after she found her crying bc of something Melanie had said to her and Trude broke down and told her about her very obvious crush on her best friend
After all that is something Frieda can understand even if her feelings for Sprotte are way less intense and dont hurt her like Trude's do
This talk really helps Frida and Trude bond and they share a new level of closeness and understanding afterwards
Fridas feelings for Sprotte kind of fade but maybe dont entirely go away after she falls in love with Mike - and why would they they are not bothering her and Sprotte after all is still her best friend
Sprotte definitely has one of those "huh..." moments after Fred shaves Fridas hair and she is a bit overwhelmed with all the confusing feelings of fondness and attraction and jealousy that she cant properly place and that are all mingled together
Okey this is getting waaaaay to long and im not even remotely close to being done but my headache is gone now and I can finally do some stuff that actually needs doing lol
I know this is probably only relevant or interesting for like two people but please talk to me about it??!
26 notes · View notes
eventidedaydreamer · 4 years
Note
What is everybody's strengths and weaknesses in your Bendy Au?
:) oh >:) okay
Joey Drew: 
Strengths 
he knows a lot of things, 
Intelligence
he can be very charming and can win people over easily, 
he’s the kind of person that you immediately like when you meet him, 
he knows how to leave a good impression.
If you actually get to know him he can be very bubbly and excitable.
Weaknesses 
he can’t read people, 
he’s brain smart but he isn’t emotionally smart, 
he doesn’t get it when someone shows emotions in a way he isn’t familiar with. 
He lashes out when he’s reminded of unpleasant things.
He knows how to turn everyone into ink creatures through sacrifice but he doesn’t stop to think if he should.
His coping mechanisms are not very healthy
Jealousy, clingy, its hard for him to consider that people can have more than one friend
Henry Stein:
Strengths 
He’s very tough (have you seen how much he falls?? and he’s OLD) 
Probably broke some bones when he was a kid so now he has stronger bones. 
He can handle a LOT of pain, 
he’s cool under stress and pressure, 
he’s a hard worker and a very talented artist.
He has a good memory
Weaknesses 
He has trouble expressing himself 
He’s a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no (something he’s worked on and is better about after he met his wife), 
He underreacts to things and overthinks a lot (overthinking is another thing he got better with after he met Linda)
Wally Franks:
Strengths 
One of the FRIENDLIEST people you will ever meet, 
and hes really really funny
He somehow knows everyone’s name even if he only met them once three years ago, 
It’s like he’s living life at a different speed because it seems like he spent the whole day with you but he also had time to see ten other people the same day?? 
He seems innocent and as if his perfect bubble of the world would pop if you mentioned something upsetting but the reality is he’ll listen to anything you need to get out and then give really good advice followed up with his usual humor.
He trusts that there is good in everyone and gives people second chances
Weaknesses 
He does really stupid things a lot
He’ll connect pipes wrong, resulting in later damage and messes
He’s always getting himself hurt, jumping too many stairs at once, making someone really angry and running for his life (Sammy’s the main one that’ll actually chase him down)
It’s like he has no sense of self-preservation 
(HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!)
He is really trusting and some people take advantage of that
He opens himself up to everyone and forgives a little too easily
Sammy Lawrence:
Strengths
He knows how to stick up for himself and others
Hardworking
He is damn good at his job and won’t let you forget it
Sarcastic
Honest
Mature
He can hear the music as he’s writing it, feel it in his head when he sees sheet music
Very independent 
If he considers you a friend, he will go to extremes to get back at anyone that hurts you (Just ask Jack, he’s been friends with him the longest!)
It is unknown how many instruments Sammy can play, the band make guesses all the time and Jack is asked on a weekly basis but refuses to comment
its an ongoing discussion 
Determination, he’s the only one that will actually chase Wally til he catches him
Weaknesses
He’s angry almost constantly
The glass is half empty
Doesn’t hold back snide remarks (but if the remark is about music in some way you better listen there’s advice hidden somewhere)
Yelling, but it’s mostly just a very loud “WALLY FRANKS!” followed by running footsteps and Wally’s giddy laughter
I N S O M N I A C
constantly has bags under his eyes
A Perfectionist, Only the best can come from the office of Sammy Lawrence even if he forgets to eat while doing so
yeah thats another thing, he forgets about things like eating, sleeping, ya know, human things
He’s intimidating, the string of constant negativity doesn’t make many friends
Workaholic 
He’s become dependent on the few friends he has to break him out of his  work until its done mode and remind him to eat and sleep (Jack, Wally, Norman and Susie a little.)
because :) it would be a shame :) if one of them :)  went missing :) huh?
Susie Campbell:
Strengths
Hopeful and optimistic
Friendly
She has a really pretty face, shes really pretty in general
she gets a lot of attention because of it
shes tougher than she looks and uses it to her advantage
she is really clever
Flirty and a romantic 
an exciting storyteller, she can make a trip to the refrigerator sound interesting
Weaknesses
Possessive
she wants to hear all the gossip until its about her
is really jealous of the smallest things
she may seem like a little innocent flower but she’s the thorniest rose in the garden and you are growing a little too close to her
Alice Angel means everything to her, its the best way to distract her from anything else :)
the second best way is to mention her star-shaped birthmark/freckle
Norman Polk:
Strengths
Observant 
He’s very good at guessing things correctly
He seems to know something about everything and everyone
A really great listener
He also just has good hearing in general, easily eavesdrops 
Physically strong, he can lift anyone with ease
Wise and careful
he has some pretty sound advice in him if you ask for any
has a very good control on his temper and is calm and cool even in heated arguments or dangerous situations
a good people reader
is very understanding
Weaknesses
He’s scary, just how he likes it
People get the wrong ideas about him (He’s just sitting there! Is he watching me?)
to be fair, he might be
He doesn’t attempt to get to know people unless he sees a reason to
gets into other peoples business 
He’s always lookin’ for trouble
too curious for his own good
doesn’t talk about his feelings
Jack Fain:
Strengths
He’s so good at rhyming that he does it subconsciously on a regular basis
Creative
Empathetic
He’s not afraid to show emotion
Forgiving
Generosity
Gentle and soft
Humble
Patient
Selfless
Weaknesses
He can be really emotional a lot of the time
He spaces out a lot
he can seem like a crybaby
Doesn’t take credit for things he should
Lies about how he really feels to make other people comfortable, he doesn’t want to be a bother
puts himself down to make other people look better
Really shy
doesn’t stick up for himself
too passive
worries a lot
Johnny:
Strengths
He really loves his job
He’s a romantic at heart
very sweet and considerate
Loyal and devoted
Sees the best in people
Weaknesses
He falls in love way too easily
ignores flaws even when they’re concerning
can easily become an emotional mess
fears being rejected more than anything else (bro just love him he’s too sweet)
Shawn Flynn:
Strengths
He’ll tell someone off when they’ve done something wrong
believes in karma and justice
likes sewing while he’s talking/doing something else
really good at multitasking
Luck of the Irish
like he misses getting injured by mere inches
this makes him the perfect Go and Do Something Stupid companion with Wally
He’s really proud of his heritage and his work
Weaknesses
Shouts a lot
He can be too prideful and overconfident
isn’t into mercy or forgiveness 
can and will turn anything into a rivalry if its the last thing he does!!
the downside to being his friend is that its dangerous to hug him because he puts needles through his clothes so he can find them later
he says its built in protection
and Wally says ow
Thomas Connor:
Strengths
He’s been good with anything technical since he was little and only got better at it with age 
Honorable
Hardworking
Mature
Weaknesses
He believes in a one strike and you’re out ideal, leaving him to not trust some genuinely nice people (but he also doesn’t trust some questionable people so he sees it as justifiable)
Reserved, doesn’t attempt to get to know anyone
he can work too hard
Pessimistic
Allison Pendle:
Strengths
Boy can she give an inspirational speech
She’s very generous
Brave 
Levelheaded
She’s a lot stronger than she looks
you should hear her belt out a song
Weaknesses
prefers to fix other peoples problems rather than deal with her own
she’s really competitive 
she gets herself hurt a lot
can be a little too fierce
Grant Cohen:
Strengths
Math, he’s good at math
he was like yeah i can do numbers I’ll be an accountant! (bro im sorry u got Joey as a boss)
He’s a good singer (which seems random unless you know)
Weaknesses
A N X I E T Y
really cannot talk to anyone
his words get all jumbled up
if he had the internet he’d constantly be searching things like, how to explain to your boss that his decisions are putting the company in dept? how do you stand up to your boss?
has bad panic attacks
Bertrum Piedmont:
Strengths
He’s super confidant
Not afraid to get his hands dirty
Even though he almost always is dressed up nice
He makes sure he looks presentable
He acts like a dad to people he likes
Cultured
Very determined 
He can and will do anything out of spite and you can’t stop him because that will only give him more reason to
Weaknesses
Really prideful, gets offended over little things
is pretty arrogant as well
it’s really hard for him to change his mind after he’s made a decision 
refuses to lose, even if it’s really obvious that he has
he can be condescending 
doesn’t like or participate in humor, he’s always deadly serious
He can be over dramatic a lot
Lacie Benton:
Strengths
nothing seems to surprise her
calm and chill
a really good listener, the kind that you know can keep a secret
doesn’t take herself too seriously or anyone, (Bertrum finds her company to be one of his favorites after he figures that out)
shE WEARS WHATEVER SHE WANTS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION SHE JUST LIKES WEARING PANTS
Weaknesses
stays quiet about important things, she ain’t no snitch, who cares if she witnessed someone stealing something
Super apathetic about life
kinda isolated (Norman says hi)
Lazy but only because she can do it really fast and well so you can wait for her
Linda Stein:
Strengths
It’s a good thing she’s so confidant else Henry would have just looked at this pretty lady and never introduced himself
shes like really good at gardening, talk about a green thumb!
Affectionate 
knows when to be gentle and when someone needs tough love
and shes good at distributing both
shes so brave
Eager and excited easily
super patient 
Understanding
Weaknesses
she can come off as too forward and a little too fast
can get a little frazzled
Forgetful (Henry helps with that)
she doesn’t want to invade anyone’s boundaries but doesn’t ask what they are so its a tug of war within her
Sorry this took so long, I wanted to really think about it and do it justice! :D
86 notes · View notes
innittowinit · 3 years
Text
Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (Chapter 19)
Fic summary: 
Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers
That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?
Chapter summary:
Eret's been acting...strange Techno senses somethings definitely off
Chapter word count: 1726
AO3
Friendships were a complex thing. Techno had known that as long as he could remember. People come and people go, it was nothing, especially not to him or Wilbur. Inherently, they knew all they had was each other, maybe their other brothers would also always be with them but what they had together was a special bond. Neither Phil nor Tommy would ever be able to understand them the way they understood each other and that was fine, they had lived every day side by side, they shared almost all their core memories and so their rationality was incredibly similar because of it, meaning they could very easily understand each other. 
Never had they asked for a friend that would feel the same way as the friendship they had with each other, and yet they always seemed to be asking for too much. That’s the part that confused Techno. 
Never had they needed to be understood. Never had they needed something complex. All they needed was someone to accept them so why did it feel like everyone always ended up leaving? Were they the problem? It always felt like they were trying so hard so why did it feel like they were pushing people away? 
You see, recently Eret had been acting….off. 
He had been stumbling over words, fidgeting, leaving quickly with the excuse of ‘being late for something’, and taking hours to reply to any kind of message. Each of these things would be fine on their own but with them all together, they felt a little strange. 
It didn’t seem like Wilbur had noticed the recent shift in behaviour yet so Techno didn’t dare bring it up, it wasn’t uncommon that he was overly cautious and he didn’t want to risk upsetting his brother over something that might not even be a big deal, especially when he had just started to get over the incident with the ticket booth. 
“So....He’s been busy a lot lately” Wilbur sighed, draping himself across the couch and clutching his phone in one hand. Niki had insisted they add some stickers onto it since letting them live off a ‘boring flip phone’ (as she had called it) was apparently not okay.
“Do you think he’s okay? Maybe something’s going on at home..”
Oh. Techno was positive everything was okay at home. Of course there was a possibility that he was just being protective of Wilbur because he didn’t want anyone hurting his brother but seriously! In his opinion, if you had enough money to eat fucking burger king as a school lunch you were doing fine financially, and really, that’s all that mattered right? Money had always been the reason why their parents were never around.
It was probably just his jealousy talking but he had always had a bit of an underlying anger for people with a big disposable income, how was it fair that their parents had to work so much at minimum wage jobs that they could hardly see them just to keep them warm and fed and yet other families could have their parents around by the time they were home from school /and/ have extra money for treats.
“Wil, don’t worry about him.” Techno sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. He knew Wilbur was always more sensitive to rejection than him.
“He’s more..social than we are, he probably just has other friends that he doesn’t want to ignore or something”
“Maybe.. I wish he’d tell us though, I don’t like being left on read” 
With a sigh and a gentle prod for him to sit up a bit more, Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, feeling how he melted into the contact straight away. Of course it hurt Techno too to be ignored by the one person they thought actually could be a good friend but he needed to put on a brave face for Wilbur. Of course it felt like a stab in the gut to have trusted someone so much to be able to start talking to them and then they just disappear but Wilbur needed him right now, it was obvious to anyone that he was the one with the bigger connection issues. 
“Wil, trusting people is a part of being friends. We can talk to him tomorrow alright? And we can explain that it would make you feel better if he said his plans before disappearing”
-----
It was Tuesday night and other than a few memes she had screenshotted off of instagram and sent them, they hadn’t really heard much at all from Eret. She hadn’t hung around them long enough at school for either of them to really bring it up with her and honestly, Techno was getting incredibly worried about what was going on. He’d never had a real friend like this before, of course Skeppy always made him laugh but he was family so he didn’t count, if he messed up with family he knew as long as they weren’t adults they’d still love him afterwards, friends worked differently though. He had his Hypixel friends too but they didn’t count either since they were online and he could type to them on days when he was struggling more. By now he’d known them so long they were basically family, they’d all taken hours out of their own time to research Techno’s problems to try and be as accommodating as possible- all in all he really couldn't compare them with Eret.
It was tricky and he knew communication was one of the more important parts, which was ironically what he struggled with the most. Maybe on one of his worse-off days, where he normally would have had Wilbur doing most of the talking for him, Eret had assumed he was angry with her or giving her the silent treatment, maybe she had taken offence to the fact that Wilbur and Techno were very obviously closer than she was with each one of them. The thought that somehow they might have made her feel left out made him feel a little sick, had they not explained well enough what had led to this point? Maybe it was selfish for them to relish in the fact that she rarely bugged them for explanations.
All in all, Techno was sure they had done something for the sudden shift in attitude and, not wanting to make Wilbur feel worse than he already did, he wasn’t sure who could help him. 
Maybe he could wait up until his parents got home? People on TV were always getting advice from them but then again.. His family wasn’t really like those on tv, if he was being honest he was half sure he’d be yelled at for being awake before he could have a chance to ask for help. 
He could also ask Phil, but then again Phil was already beyond stressed trying to make sure they were all okay, he really didn’t want to bother him. Niki was closer to Wilbur than she was with him and he was sure his hypixel friends were all still at school because of the time zone difference. 
The only other person he could really think of talking to about this was Skeppy, and so, hopping out of bed, trying his hardest not to make too much noise and wake up Wilbur, he made his way to the PC. 
11:36PM 
From what he knew, Skeppy usually stayed up late and slept so late he often missed his bus anyway so he probably was still up.
Clicking onto discord, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the green dot next to his cousin's icon, immediately messaging him. 
11:36 OrphanDestroyer: Hey nerd
11:36 OrphanDestroyer: U awake?
It took a few minutes for him to answer, Techno was just about ready to give up and accept he had just chosen the one night he may have gone to bed on time to try and message him.
11:42 japanesesymbolforbeginner: 1 sec ina call wiv bbh 
Writing ‘bbh’ off as one of Skeppy’s friends he had forgotten to tell them about, Techno waited patiently for Skeppy to say he was free. 
11:46 japanesesymbolforbeginner: ok im done, what you need
11:46 OrphanDestroyer: SO
11:46 OrphanDestroyer: Do you remember Eret?
11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Okay well basically for like the past few days he’s been ignoring me and Wilbs and I’m really really worried we offended him or something like maybe we hurt him or he’s mad or maybe he decided he's too good to be friends with us which tbh I don't blame him for because we kinda are losers and maybe people won't be friends with him because he's friends with us or something? Idk idk I just really wish he’d tell us something because like Wil is freaking out and idk what to tell him, he really struggles with this kinda stuff and I wanna help but idk how. 
11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Ok...fuck
11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Has he replied to any messages or anything? Maybe he’s busy?
11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Not really 
11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Okay okay so here’s what I think you should do
11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If he’s ignoring you you're gonna need to confront him next time you see him and don’t just agree when he makes an excuse to leave, like say you NEED to talk
11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If u think he’s offended bc sometimes you don't speak a lot maybe just message him some resources or whatever on the type of mutism you deal with, even if he doesn’t reply he’ll probably still open it.
11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: like he might just be in the position where he’s nervous he’ll offend you if he asks something about it? Like maybe he doesn't understand fully and he just needs one of you to open the discussion 
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: okay you're probably right
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: There’s a link I have to one I normally email teachers whenever we have a new one so i'll probably send him that
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: Tomorrow though, my dads gonna be home soon and he’ll kill me if im still awake 
11:51 japanesesymbolforbeginner: aight, night Techno, good luck and btw you're all always welcome to come over if things get tense over there with ur parents
7 notes · View notes
shes-ddreaming · 4 years
Text
the eyes that lost you ➸ lee donghyuck
i.
Tumblr media
✧ destination ↬ best friends to lovers + fluff, angst,,, all that jazz yak
✧ a party of two for ↬ lee donghyuck x reader
✧ duration of flight ↬ 2.5k
✧ in stereo ↬ exo - what if
✧ in which your best friend donghyuck decides to pretend to be someone else’s boyfriend, leaving you to confront the only thing you’ve been avoiding your whole life—your feelings for him.
Tumblr media
donghyuck had confessed to you a long time ago. and if you only knew that you’d be hurting like this now, you would’ve said yes to him in a heartbeat. but you didn’t; you had decided that your friendship was more important than anything, rejecting your best friend’s confession.
he took your rejection lightly, telling you that your friendship was just as important to him as it was to you. “look, y/n, i love you not because i had any intention of making you my girlfriend, but because... i love you for .. you. and if you’d much rather stay friends, then i’m all for it. i’ll be your best friend—whatever you want me to be, i’ll be.” he was sincere, and you appreciated that more than anything. you were more than grateful that donghyuck understood your reasoning behind the rejection.
and a day later, things went right back to normal, never a moment of awkwardness. he was still the same best friend you’ve had since you came out of the womb. it was as if his confession never happened.
and that’s all it took for you to make lee donghyuck your best friend for life. he was your constant, the one person in your life who has always stayed by your side. so many of your friends have come and gone, but donghyuck wasn’t one of them.
here you were, not even 3 years later, your eyes were on your best friend whose hair has grown a little longer from how it was when he confessed. he’s a lot taller now, standing a good 6 inches or so above you. it seems like a lot about him has changed, and his feelings for you were not an exception. but there was one thing that could never change, and that was you being his best friend.
the object of his lingering glances is no longer you, but it just had to be kang mina. you weren’t surprised—she was annoyingly pretty, smart, and funny. not only that, she happened to be the class president. donghyuck? vice president. everyone called them a match made in heaven. you hated how you felt when he was around her. you hated how your heart would fall every time you caught sight of him stealing glances at her. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair to donghyuck. what right do you have to catch feelings for him when you let him suffer from his feelings for you for so long?
the guilt had eaten you up for a long time. you liked to believe that your suffering now was your way to repay the pain you caused donghyuck for liking you without any reciprocation all those years.
he always reminded you that he was alright with the way you two were, that you rejecting him didn’t hurt him as much as you thought it did, that he was glad you two were best friends. but it was hard to ignore his obvious feelings for you. you knew deep down that you were hurting him by staying friends, but he never complained. he quietly loved you until he developed feelings for someone else.
it was your turn to realize your feelings, only now it’s too late. you’re in love with your best friend but he’s in love with someone else.
however, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad if he hadn’t been fake dating her. maybe then you wouldn’t see him in so much pain. you couldn’t bear to witness seeing him doing anything and everything for her when she doesn’t even feel the same way, just like he did for you.
“you’re a hypocrite,” mark says as you bore your heart and soul to him. these days, donghyuck sits with mina at lunch to continue to play the little charade they’ve been onto for weeks. mark lee has been your rock these past few months, always quietly listening to you and offering—what he would call—words of wisdom. you couldn’t count how many times you’ve gone to him to talk about your conflicting feelings about donghyuck. “be honest with me. is the fact that you’re no longer the object of lee donghyuck’s desire the driving force of what you think are your feelings for him?”
leave it to mark lee to be brutally honest with his stupid rhetorical questions. you sigh, putting your head down on the cafeteria table. you were a shitty person, a terrible, shitty person. you feel your lunch tray being moved away from your head. “do i have lettuce in my hair?” mark laughs at you, slapping your shoulder in the process.
“you did. but, i took it off of your hair, dumbass,” he softly pats your head like one would do to a crying toddler. “look, i’m sorry if that was a little mean. i hope i didn’t hurt your feelings or anything.”
“nah, it just got me thinking. do you think i’m projecting my desires of wanting a
boyfriend onto hyuck? or maybe i’m friend-jealous and i’m mistaking it for being in love with him?” you once again steal a glance at the boy who has been all over your thoughts lately and your heart disagreed. whatever these feelings were, they’re definitely not friend-jealousy or whatever mark had called it. you knew in your heart that you loved him.
“oh god i wanna die, i want to actually fucking die.”
mark has this amused look on his face as he helps you pack up once the bell rings for 4th period. “stop thinking about it for now, alright? we can get ice cream after school, it’s on me. i think i owe you.” he takes the textbook you were holding out of your hands and carries it for you, as he reaches his hand out for your backpack. you roll your eyes, taking it off and handing it to him. this was beginning to be a routine for you two whenever you’re sad. mark never lets you carry anything and always walked you to class.
“what did i do to deserve a mark lee?” you wonder out loud, followed by a kick to your shin from mark. you immediately took back what you said. “suddenly i don’t remember ever being friends with a kid named mark.” you hear his obnoxiously loud laugh and shake your head.
“shut up, loser!”
Tumblr media
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: KDKDKD come heRE
[you questioned: “KDKDKD come heRE”]
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: STOP DOING THOSE REACTION THINGS AND REPLY FJDKDKDKD
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: PLEASE Y/N OH MY GOD
you: WHAT
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: pls come down to my floor rn i need sugar
you: what the fuck
[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked ��what the fuck”]
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I PROMISE YOU’LL GET TO HAVE SOME OF THE COOKIES I BAKE
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I RAN OUT OF SUGAR I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE 😔🙏🏽
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I HAVE A COUNCIL MEETING IN LIKE 2 HOURS AND I NEED TO HAVE THE COOKIES DONE BY THEN
you: oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar
[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar”]
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: god why didn’t apple give the people™ the option to disheart something
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: you had one job
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ONE JOB
you: KDKSKSKS IM SORRY LMFAO
you: ALSO I DONT EVEN THINK DISHEART IS THE RIGHT TERM FOR IT
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: come to the grocery store w me 🥺👉🏽👈🏽
you: fine 😔
“hey, neighbor!” you hear donghyuck yell from his door as you hold the button that keeps the elevator doors open.
you can already hear mark arguing “you two technically aren’t even neighbors! he lives like two floors below you!”
while donghyuck counters back saying, “yeah but if she lived on my floor then we would live right next door to each other!” you can recall this exact confrontation when the three of you were in 3rd grade.
you and donghyuck have lived in the same apartment building your whole lives—which is also a big reason as to how the pair of you reached best friend status.
“let’s go before the sun starts setting!” he was smiling as he ran towards you and you couldn’t even deny that your heart was doing backflips.
“hurry up before i let go of this button and leave you there,” you threaten him and he laughs, pretending to walk in slow motion. you let go of the button and the elevator doors begin to close in on each other, prompting a loud gasp from donghyuck as he runs as fast as he can to reach the doors before they close completely.
“y/n, what the fuck!” he cries once he reaches the doors and they open back up again. he had his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath and you couldn’t contain your laughter. “i hate you, oh my god! i busted a lung out there trying to catch up to the elevator. i can’t believe you’d do that to me.” you were both laughing now and you watched as he pretended to sob.
the doors of the elevator opened back up once you reached the lobby and donghyuck takes this as an opportunity to run away from you to get to his car before you could beat him there.
he had his payback when he locked the doors before you could even open the door to his car, leaving you there for a good two minutes, yelling “karma, bitch!” before finally letting you in.
“you’re insane!” he just laughs at this, and you two call a truce to stop pulling pranks on each other for the duration of your grocery trip.
Tumblr media
“alright, alright. i’ll go drop the sugar off to my house and i’ll meet you at the rooftop,” you nod, waving goodbye to him as he steps foot off the elevator with the grocery bag in his hand and you continue up to the penthouse floor.
you really didn’t know if this was legal. if you were being honest, you had a feeling you were putting your parents’ lease on the line every time you snuck onto the rooftop. you made your way out of the penthouse floor, opening the doors to the fire escape before you were finally met with the stairs that lead up to the rooftop.
you smiled as you looked up to the sky with its various shades of blue, purple, and pink. it was your senior year of high school and you knew you’d miss this once you left home.
you: HURRY UP THE SUN IS SETTING REAL QUICK
you: it’S NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOUR SLOW ASS
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT IM PUTTING THE COOKIES IN THE OVEN FIRST
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: TELL THE SUN TO SLOW DOWN 😤😤 damn even the sun has no pATIENCE
you: damn riGHT so if you don’t hurry up you’re gonna miss it 😔
full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ALR ALR THEY’RE IN THE OVEN I’M USAIN BOLTING OUTTA HERE
and usain bolt, he did. donghyuck soon opened the doors out of the fire escape, finally getting a glimpse of the sky as the sun started to set. you seemed to have not noticed him, eyes focused upwards onto the sky.
he stopped in his tracks. donghyuck liked to think he no longer had any feelings for you. “not even any residue,” he would tell himself. but he couldn’t lie that there were some moments that he’d wish you had felt the same way as he once did. this exact moment would make it on that list. you looked cute. your small figure was a good ten feet away from him but despite the distance, he just knew there was no other place you’d rather be at the moment.
“finally!” you yell as he made your way towards you. “i was ready to lasso the sun and keep it here until you got your ass up here.”
he was staring at you, a small smile adorning his features. if the word fond could be personified, it would probably be this exact face he was making.
you finally let go of the breath you had been holding when his eyes leave your face and instead focus onto the sky. “god i’m gonna miss this.”
“the sky? i was thinking the exact-“
“no, us.” oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. you couldn’t even look at him. god, you were blushing like crazy and you prayed that he didn’t notice because you knew you were being crazy obvious right now. “i’m gonna miss us sneaking onto the rooftop to watch the sunset, you know? it’s just- i don’t know. senior year ending has made me become more... sad? i don’t think that’s the right word for it. nostalgic? maybe. every moment just has this sense of finality to it and that scares me.”
you were about to reply, but you were immediately cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. “hey, mina.”
and just as icarus flew too close to the sun, so did you heart. and now you felt it falling straight down to the sea. you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of his conversation on the phone. instead, you watched the sun while it painted the buildings a brilliant shade of golden yellow and casted a shadow onto the trees. but the view of the buildings could never compete with donghyuck as his tanned skin glowed in the golden sunlight and his eyes twinkled in a different shade of brown.
“crap, i almost forgot about my council meeting. i have to go pick up mina, too,” he had a small frown on his face and you giggled. lee donghyuck, how could you be so cute? “are you gonna be okay up here? i’m gonna go get the cookies ready. i’ll leave some at your door, as promised.”
you reject donghyuck’s offer of walking you to your door, telling him that you just wanted to stay here for a little while longer.
mork 🤢: damn senior year rly be hitting different 😩😔😫💦
you: MARK WTF JDDJDJ YOUR EMOJIS GTFO
mork 🤢: y/n i have a story omg facetime me #storytime
mork 🤢: i think my life is starting to become a coming of age movie LMAO
you smile as you read mark’s texts, telling him you’ll facetime him once you get back home. he was right though; senior year really did feel different, and it forced you to confront feelings you’d much rather keep buried, especially in the lee donghyuck department of your heart.
Tumblr media
hello! if you made it this far, then thank you 🥺 tbh i was reALLY SCARED TO POST THIS IDK I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING IN AWHILE !! this WILL be continued so stay tuned !! 💖 kjdfakjl also aren’t we all just tryna be hyuck’s best friend 😔✊🏽
109 notes · View notes
loeyluvr · 4 years
Text
Guilt
Pairing: Choi San x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of hospitals, being in a coma, arguing, and anxiety/panic!
Word Count: 2.5k+
Type: fluff? and angst
Note: This is my first au so go easy on me <3 and definitely let me know if you like this one or if you have any requests !!!
Prompt: You were in a coma but you couldn’t remember how you got there, the only sense of normality being the lingering presence of your boyfriend San who was hell bent on sticking with you.
Tumblr media
The only thing you could remember was the sickening impact of your head meeting with the pavement. The way you lost all control of your senses and with such a blunt force. It was quick, and for a moment you wondered if it had even happened, if it was just a dream, but the throbbing at the back of your head said otherwise. It was pitch black, the only sound you could make out was the rhymitic beeping of a what you believed to be a machine beside you. You felt the cold of a fabric enveloping you, coming to the quick realization you were in a bed. Your attention turned to the beeping beside you as it was steady and never faltering giving you something to focus on that wasn’t the dark that seemed to stare back at you. You attempted to open your eyes but couldn’t. A slight panic began to rise in your chest as you attempted to open them again expecting a different outcome yet receiving the same. Your breathing increased and so did the beeps of the machine beside you, you felt sweat forming at your brow as you a sinking feeling began to churn in your stomach. You didn’t know what to do as you couldn’t move or open your eyes, feeling trapped. You didn’t have much time to figure out much more for yourself before you heard a door swing open followed by the squeak of footsteps rounding the foot of the bed you were in. You felt whoever they belonged to, press something against your chest, assuming it to be a stethoscope, as you felt the cold of the metal through the fabric of your top. You heard a voice carry through your head, it sounded like an echo bouncing in an empty room. You concentrated on making it out, it didn’t take long as you began to catch on, hanging onto each syllable.
“Y/n, it’s your doctor, my name is doctor Hill, I know there’s a high chance you can hear me, so if you can please listen carefully, you’re currently in a coma, three days in, i’m going to need you to take deep breaths and concentrate on your heartbeat and following it’s pattern, I know you’re scared but please trust me.” You began to follow the instructions, knowing you had no other option, as you drowned out the voice by only following your heartbeat, realizing you could only do one or the other and within moments the panic you felt incased in was gone almost as quickly than it had come. You began to breathe in and out at a normal pace, prompting your doctor to continue. “You’ve been out a few days as your body heals, you need to focus on the healing before anything else, so do not stress and do not panic, you will wake up and you will be ok it’s just going to take time.” You heard him finish before sighing in approval as the beeping had become normal again. You wanted to nod or make a subtle movement to signal you heard him, yet to your dismay nothing happened. He scuffled around you, as you assumed he was making sure everything else was normal too. You heard the signature squeak of the shoes and a quiet goodbye as the doctor left the room. You began to feel tired as you drifted out of consciousness.
The next day you came to, well as much as you could, to the feeling of someone grasping your hand. Alarm bells started ringing in your head, and as if the person holding onto you could sense it, you heard a familiar voice let out affirmations and soft whispers. “Baby it’s ok, it’s just me, it’s just me.” You recognized the voice immediately and almost kicked yourself for not knowing sooner. It was your boyfriend San. You felt his lips ghost over tour forehead, they felt so far away yet you knew they were right above your temple. You wanted to lean into them, but you had come around to the notion that you simply couldn’t, no matter how frustrating. You felt his presence linger a little bit longer before he settled back into what you assumed to be a chair next to you. He began talking, almost to himself than to anyone. “I hope you know how much I love you and how sorry I am.” The words were so low and in between sharp intakes and you struggled to make them out, but when you did you felt your heart hammer in your chest. What could he have been possibly sorry for? He hadn’t caused this? He continued to mumble to himself, gently rubbing his finger over your interlocked hands. You yearned to reach out to him, to hug him, to tell him your ok, yet you couldn’t. Your inability to move felt like an eerie nightmare replaying over and over again.
The next time you awoke it was because you felt a sharp pain in your arm followed by a familiar voice that belonged to your doctor. “I’m changing your IV and you may feel some slight discomfort as it makes its way into your bloodstream.” You wanted to scream but couldn’t as the pain travelled from the tips of your fingers to your neck, it felt like someone poured boiling water into your veins. It lingered but began to subside as you felt his grasp loosen. You began to calm down as the pain had nearly vanished and began to focus on the warmth of someone beside you, which you had just noticed. The person beside you cradled into your arms and it didn’t take long for you to figure out it was San. You cold feel cold droplets linger on your exposed skin, immediately realizing they were tears. This broke your heart because you knew how he was, and you knew he was beating himself up over this and there was nothing you could do about it. You wondered how long he had laid there with you as you wished to run your fingers through his hair and tell him it’d be okay. Your heart felt heavy in your chest at the want to hold him and to talk to him, and simply return to life with him. Your thoughts left you feeling empty. Not long after you felt his presence beside you, it was gone but not before his thumb swiped under your eye, at a tear you didn’t know had fallen. You listened as he whispered to himself again as you tried to catch a few of the louder words, to no avail. You assumed it was him assuring himself you’d be ok but that thought scared you, for you hated him to feel as if he had to worry so hard for your safety. You tried to move your hand to reach his but couldn’t no matter how hard you tried.
The next time you awoke it was in your bed. You snapped your eyes open and immediately shot up. Adrenaline coursed through your veins as you attempted to move your hand and when that worked your legs. You jumped from beneath the blankets as you ran to the mirror and blinked your eyes and watched your shoulders roll in place. It felt surreal as you examined the room quickly before deciding on going downstairs. You ran downstairs of the familiar apartment you had lived in for the last year or so, stopping extra to feel the different changes in the wood of the railings and the way the steps collided with the balls of your feet. You were in a state of bliss as you suddenly stopped dead in your tracks, you watched in confusion as you, even though you were at the bottom of the stairs, sling open the front door, tears flowing down your face. Your heart sank as realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You weren’t awake and you weren’t home, you were dreaming.
You watched intently as you, well dream you, collapsed on the couch before curling into a ball. The scene felt all too familiar as foreign feelings began to flood back ‪to you. The pang of jealousy and hatred washing over you. You didn’t know why but you felt your heart breaking as dream you cried and cried until she couldn’t cry no more letting out whispers that you could barely hear. It wasn’t even a full 10 minutes but it felt like hours. The raw hurt that emanated in your dream versions face sent chills down your spine and your breath catch in your throat. You made an attempt to hug your dream self but stopped as you heard the door fling open for the second time of the day.
“Baby please just talk to me stop shutting me out.” Was the first thing that left the lips of San the door closing behind him in his wake. Your gaze quickly snapping between the two participants.
“Shutting you out?” Dream you squeaked. “Shutting you out??? You’re the one who couldn’t even muster up a text back or pick up one of my calls for the past two weeks yet i’m the one shutting you out?” The words were venom laced and you watched San’s face scrunch into a mixture of anger and hurt.
“I get busy and you know this, it’s a fucking text message i’m so sorry that you have to wait til i get home to talk to me.” He seethed arms raising. “Are you fucking kidding me? When you get home?? Sometimes you don’t even come home??? You’re so busy that you can’t let me know if you’re coming home or if you’re ok or if you need something? You’re so fucking busy you can’t consider for a moment that maybe a text or a call you declined was actually important? You think i’d be this upset if it was just stupid hi and hello texts” Dream you screamed back as she left her position on the couch, her fists balled at her sides. “I wouldn’t be fucking suprised theres not a moment you’re not overreacting over something.” He shot back.
“Are you kidding me San?” She said simply a look of disbelief on her face an unhumorous laugh following after. “Yes i’m serious every day it’s something new with you.” He started before throwing his coat onto the counter. “Every damn day you always start something, first it’s me not listening to your boring rants about work and the next it’s me not answering one text, every day you push your needyness onto me and it’s fucking tiring.” He says lowly. “It’s like you can’t do shit for yourself and im tired of always being the one to take care of you because i’m not your fucking parent.” The tears started to fall once more as dream you began to hurriedly throw on her previously discarded jacket. “You know if you hated my guts so much and ‪saw me seeking you for comfort and for someone to reside in, as me wanting attention and being needy you could’ve just said something.” She said her voice cracking.
San ran his fingers through his hair. “Look I didn’t mean that I just-“ He didn’t get to finish before dream you cut him off. “No San you made your message pretty fucking clear” Dream you grabbed their keys from the table where they had been thrown and slammed the door open for the third time and simply left. San muttered a “Fuck” before following after. You and San hurried out the door following dream you in her wake, San muttering to himself once more and yelling for dream you to stop or slow down. “Can we please just talk this out?” He called after her. “San like I said ‪you‬ made it pretty fucking clear i’m just a burden to you so for the love of god leave me-.” her words were cut short and ended with the stomach wrenching sound of something making contact with the pavement. Sans screams ripped through the quiet morning as the sound of his footsteps tore after dream you. You watched in horror at the scene unfolding, you were lying motionless on the ground as a frantic San dialed 911. You turned quickly with a wince realizing this wasn’t a dream, it was a memory you had lost and this was how you had ended up where you were.
You snapped back to reality as you felt Sans hand on yours once more but a sickening feeling resided in your stomach instead of content, you attempted to rip your hand away and to your surprise it worked, and to Sans too as he scrambled from his chair. You began to open your eyes light invading harshly causing you to close them before peeling away your eyelids again. You began to blink slowly, your eyes landing on the man of the hour himself. Your stare turning to a malicious one as you looked him over before softening. He was a mess to say lightly, his haired was everywhere, sticking up, and there were tear stains etched into his skin as dark circles laid under his tired, bloodshot eyes. He looked as if he hadn’t moved from his spot in days. Your heart softened as you realized he had put himself through more hell than you could muster up. You went to speak and but your voice could only make it to the sound of a whisper.
“Fuck you.” Is all you said as San lurched forward grabbing your hand. He looked as if he had seen a ghost as tears began to build in the corners of his eyes. He watched a playful smile take form on your face causing one to etch onto his. “I’m so so sorry y/n.” Was all he said as his voice sounded almost as broken as yours. Tears began to fill in the etches of his face as you wiped them away shakily. “Don’t cry baby.” You said soothingly. “It’s my fault you had to go through this if I had just-“ You cut him off. “But you didn’t and so now we’re here, you can beat yourself up over this all you want but it won’t change a thing.” He took a breath before staring down at your interlocked hands.
“I’m still so sorry for saying those things to you, i had just been so stressed that week and I never meant to ignore you I just never took a minute to do anything but work, I said harsh and cruel things all because I couldn’t accept the fact you were right, I had been neglecting you, I put work over you and for that i’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve being put second and you didn’t deserve being yelled at for caring about me.” He took a quick breath. “I couldn’t even protect you when you needed me most, I made you cry more than once and because of me you’re here” He finished quietly staring at you intently watching a tear slide down your face. He quickly wiped it away. “How about you don’t cry” He chuckled dryly still clinging onto your hand for dear life. “It’s ok San, I forgive you, shit happens, now can we please put this behind us because holy fuck my head is killing me.” He giggled again at the surrealness of you being your usual self after sitting in a hospital room for a week wishing for this moment.
“I also hope you know I had no intention of forgiving you.” You teased as you and San walked to the car after you were discharged only a day after waking up, except you weren’t walking as San insisted on carrying you, rambling on about how it was normal and necessary. So now you were clung to his back like a koala. “Yeah I figured that when the first thing you did when you came to was rip your hand away from mine.” He chuckled. “But when I saw you looked more fucked up than I did I decided to cut you some slack.” You giggled poking his ear making him jerk from your touch.
“I will drop you.” He warned as he felt your grip tighten around him making him smirk. The wind blowing your hair back. “Don’t put me in another coma.” You teased with a giggle and San whined a pout forming on his face. “Thats not funny” He huffed shifting your weight on his back. “I think it’s fucking hilarious.” You laughed biting your lip. “I will bite you.” He threatened as the sound of leaves blowing along the pavement cut through the air. “Always knew you had a biting kink.” You laughed loudly still poking at San’s face. “I really do wonder if you waking up was a good thing.” He said making you scoff before hitting his back. “Ok rude.”
He giggled as he felt you pout behind him. “I’m kidding dummy.” He teased. You were soon at your car as San carefully placed you inside. He then climbed‪‬ into his side and the whole car ride home was filled with giggles and teasing as you were filled with the notion everything would be okay.
Masterlist
121 notes · View notes
shawnies-rihno-blog · 5 years
Text
Ready For Me
A/n= Its mostly based on Ready for me by Alessia Cara. I hope you enjoy reading this. Thank you so much for reading!
WC: 2.3k
Where y/n and Shawn have feelings for eachother, but y/n can’t help but feel ignored by Shawn, so she tells him to come back for her, when he’s ready.
Warning; Brief mention of Camila + Angsty + also sum cussing
-----
 It was about 2:45am, and everyone had left Shawn’s apartment. Now Shawn and I were cuddling in his bed, looking out his big window, seeing the city of Toronto alive as ever. As I look at the CN tower changing colours, I think about how I should not be here, that i should leave, because in the end I always end up hurt. Not him.
“It’s gorgeous isn’t it,” Shawn comments, as he intertwined our fingers together under the blanket.
“Ya. Kinda weird how the city looks so alive even though it's way past midnight,” I replied quietly, not wanting to ruin this peaceful vibe.
You should Leave. Leave. Leave. Dumbass Leave.
“It’s not more gorgeous than you though.”
I smile. You’re falling for him. Why are you being stupid. Leave right now.
I know I should listen to the voice in my head, but he’s so addicting, more addictive than nicotine. He is like a cigarette though, he’s bad for me but I can't have enough of him. And whenever he calls i cave in, even though the last time was supposed to be the last time I saw him.
“I’m gonna miss you so much,” he says, after awhile.
“Yea,” I say knowing he doesn’t mean it.
“You know that, y/n,” 
I hum in response. Shawn was leaving Toronto tomorrow to start his North American Leg of the tour. Shawn and I weren't just friends, because friends don’t do what we do, but what we have, it's not a relationship. It isn't friendship with benefits either, because that’s just sexual attraction towards each other and this relationship isn’t based on sex. Honestly, it’s complicated like a Facebook status. 
Whenever Shawn’s back in Toronto, he calls me saying he misses me, and that we should have breakfast together. He calls me over so I can sleep over at his place because he likes me very deeply. And then he leaves, whether it’s for tour, promo, or L.A. He forgets to call me and ask me if i'm okay, or even text, as if I never existed in his life. Then he’s seen with a girl, and i every single time I pretend that I couldn't care less. 
  He keeps saying it’s for “PR” and to help him with his new release, everytime he comes back to Toronto. But then I overhear him talking about how good she was in bed with his friends and I can't help but feel a little heartbroken. But I shouldn’t right, because we are not dating.
“You gonna stay the night here?” Shawn questions.
“Probably not,” I reply.
“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” he asks suggestively, starting to lightly peck the crook of my neck.
“Shawn, you should go to sleep you have to wake up on time for you’re flight,”
“But I'd rather spend that time with you,” he says. And I look up to him seeing sincerity in his eyes. These are the moments that mess with my head, telling me what we have is real and that i'm actually important to Shawn.
“Please, y/n,” he says again. “C’mon it’s my last night, and i wanna spend it with you,” he continues.
“Okay,” I agree reluctantly. “ But all we are going to do is sleep, cus I have an early class tomorrow and you have to catch a flight,” I added.
“As long as I'm with you baby, nothing else matters,” he adds lovingly. So much for being just friends.
----
I wake up to sunlight shining brightly in my eyes. Then i feel little pecks on my face. On my forehead, both cheeks, my nose and lastly my lips. I instantly smiled, knowing who is kissing me.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Shawn says raspily, with a wide smile on his face.
“Morning, what time is it.” 
“7:15.”
“Oh okay, i have to leave in like 20,”
“Why don’t you go freshen up, and i’ll make you breakfast?” Shawn suggests.
“Watch you burn down the whole kitchen,” I add cockily.
“I’m an amazing cook! And i don’t burn stuff,” he replies defensively.
“Mhmm. I'm gonna pretend to believe that.”
I get out of his bed and head to the bathroom freshening up. When I’m done I head to the kitchen, meeting a shirtless Shawn who is wearing only his pajama pants. It wouldn’t be horrible to be stuck with this view for the rest of my life.
He turns around, clearly amused by my staring, “like what you see?” he questions as he moves the pancake from the pan to the plate. 
“Shut up, it’s not good to be self obsessed,”
“But if you look as good as me, its okay right?!”
He presents the plate of pancakes with maple syrup on top. When I'm done taking my first bite, Shawn says “Ya i know they taste good, no need to tell me.” 
“Actually I was gonna say, that they are really bad,”
“Heyyyy!”
“I’m kidding, they are really good,”
“Ya i know,” He replied cockily.
After finishing my breakfast, while chatting with Shawn, I tell him I have to go, or i will miss my class. I head to the door, Shawn grabs me, pulling me into him. Pecking my forehead and then kissing me with passion.
“Don’t leave, please.”
“You know I have too, Shawn.”
“Ya…” he replies sadly.
I can’t help walking out the door a little disappointed. Maybe i should've stayed, it’s just one class right? I push those thoughts out of my head and head to my apartment to grab my books. I hear my phone go off as I walk out of my apartment heading to my university.
Shawn: I miss you!
I swear this boy. He’s going to make me go crazy. I reply with a quick “i just saw you, you can’t possibly miss me,” and head to class, clearing my head.
---
It’s been 3 weeks since our last conversation. I shouldn’t be surprised but I always am. The last time we talked was when I texted him congratulating him on Senorita and he replied with a simple ‘thank you’. I asked him how tour was going, but he just replied with a great, not putting much effort in the conversation, so I didn't either.
One day as I'm scrolling across Instagram, i see a post of E!News, talking about Shawn seen mingling with a girl. I didn’t care much until i found out who the girl was. Camila Cabello. She was the girl Shawn filmed Senorita with. I really thought Senorita was just a music video, because Shawn always said they were just friends, so I didn't pay much attention. But after seeing those pictures i couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.
Last time we saw eachother, I really thought we could be something, and that i wouldn’t end up hurt. But I'm always wrong aren’t I. It’s my fault for being involved with a guy like Shawn anyways. Why would he settle with me, a girl who doesn’t even have her life together yet. 
The worst part is, none of Shawn and I’s friends know about our ‘relationship’ because as Shawn said “our relationship is gonna get leaked, and Andrew is not gonna be a big fan of that,” so I can’t go to them asking for comfort. I don’t know if i was hurt about the fact that Shawn did what he does again, or that I was stupid enough to think that he would settle with me.
Days pass and more videos and pictures of them surface online, one of the videos bothering me particularly. Shawn didn’t bother contacting me, so I didn't either. 
---
As summer came by, my friends from university and I decided to camp up north of Toronto. While camping i made a lot of new friends, one particularly cute one, named Jackson. We got really close, and later I found out we were both studying the same field. By the end of the trip he asked me for my number, which I gave happily. 
When I got back home from the trip, the first thing I did was open Instagram and post pictures from the trip, since there was no internet in the woods. I also started hanging out with Jackson, he made me happy, but I couldn't help but think I was cheating on Shawn.
Jackson and I end up going on a couple of dates, both enjoying each other's company. One night, after I get back from a party, Shawn calls me. I’m a little confused and surprised by not knowing the reason behind his call. I answer his call, not knowing what to do. 
“Heyy! y/n, i came to Toronto for like 2 days. I was hoping we could meet up.”
“Hii... That’s random, lol.”
“Ya i know, i was missing you so i thought to visit Toronto and see you.” Here we go again with his bullshit.
“Oh.” I reply clearly unimpressed.
“Well I’m actually right outside your apartment, wanna open the door for me?” He questions and I can already imagine the big smile on his face.
I end the call and head to open the door. As soon as I opened the door, Shawn grabs me and hugs me tightly, as if he let go, his world would collapse.
“Shawn please stop,” i try pushing him away. 
“What?” he questions, hurt flashing on his face for a brief second. 
“You can’t just pretend to miss me, when you didn’t even contact me once in the past four months,” I state trying to hide my feelings.
“But i do miss you, you know im really bad with communication, and most of the time I don't even have my phone.” He tries to explain. I can already feel my heart empathizing with him, but I tell myself that I'm not going to fall for his lies this time. 
“Shawn, its- uh- i don’t know, but you need to stop with your excuses.”
“But they are not excuses, and you know that. C’mon i thought you were the one person who actually understood me.”
“No! Don’t you dare say that. I try my best to understand you and your bullshit. But I can’t okay!” I say raising my voice, he was starting to piss me off.
“What bullshit? If you are really complaining about me not contacting me, maybe you should’ve!” Shawn replies, raising his voice to match mine.
“I did!” 
“Ya once, congratulating me, and I REPLIED. You are the one who left me on seen after that.”
“Shawn, maybe you should leave, we can have this conversation later.” I replied quietly, knowing raising my voice would do nothing.
“Why? Cus’ your boyfriend is coming over?” Shawn scoffs. I’m taken aback by his remark, since when did I have a boyfriend.
“What boyfriend?” I question, truly confused.
“Who are you lying to here?”
“Shawn i don’t have a boyfriend, why are you accusing me of shit.”
“Oh really, so that Johnson guy is just your friend right?” Shawn spits.
“You mean Jackson?”
“You really think I give a crap about his name.”
“We are not dating, but yea we’ve been on dates, but why would that even matter, when you don’t even care about me.” I say, getting more pissed off by the second.
“Wow. I guess I really was wrong about you. I really thought we had something, but you throw that right out the window as soon as someone makes a move on you? Honestly I can't even say that, maybe you made a move-” I cut him off, because he’s being ridiculous.
“Oh don’t you even dare go there. You cannot say this shit to me, you’re the one who threw us out the window the second you decided to kiss that girl. Do you even realise what you're doing.” I say raising my voice again.
“I told you it’s PR! What part of that do you not understand?!” He replied angrily.
“Oh I thought, only hand holding was for PR, i guess you finally got an upgrade and started sucking girl’s face publicly.” I say clearly pissed.
“Why do you have a problem with my career! You know this is apart of my life. Why can’t you understand that.”
“Cus’ clearly i’m not apart of your life,” I say, tears forming in my eyes.
“Y/n, you’re the biggest part of my life,” Shawn says quietly.
“Right, that's why we can’t walk down a street, or that's why our friends can’t find out about us, because you're too scared or probably too ashamed to be with me.” I say, tears threatening to spill.
“I'm not ashamed to be with you. There is nothing to be ashamed off. There is just so much going on in my life, and I don't want to pressure you with my life. And I still have a lot of things to figure out.” Shawn’s face is flushed now, probably by all the yelling.
“Right and you think pushing me away is totally helping me?” I question.
“Y/n-”
“No just stop okay! You clearly have too much going on, and you keep saying everything is PR when i don’t even know if it really is. You aren’t ready for me or this relationship-”
“No you can’t just-”
“Shawn just don’t even okay! Figure things out, and come back. And i'm not saying i’m gonna wait for you, cus’ I’m not gonna and i'm not going to promise and then lie, but I'll always be around.” I say wiping tears away, trying my best not to breakdown in front of him.
“Y/n, just please- i’m begging you, just give me a chance,” Shawn begs with tears in his eyes.
“Shawn, please figure things out, do what you have to do until you’re ready for me.” I say, as I can feel my heart physically crack.
The funny thing is, when an addict is over his addiction, he feels happy as if he has accomplished something. But I can't help but feel empty and weak inside, even though I got over my addiction.
 I guess yay for me!
---------
oMg. I don’t even know if i like how i wrote it, but i like the idea of this idk!!! But thankyou SOOOOOOOOO much for reading, it means so muchhhhh. I hope there aren’t many errors or gramatical mistakes. I hope u enjoyed reading it, pls leave feedback if u like! X.
Also if you have requests, you can leave them in my inbox!
Thankyou once again!!!!
270 notes · View notes
peachy-inserts · 4 years
Note
Hello may I ask for a scenario with yandere Shinsou with a deaf fem reader? Like reader has this stoic face most of the time but once she's comfortable with you or she all alone she's actually a pure cinnamon bun who just wants some cuddles and head pats. I guess you can call her a kuudere or something like that?? Thank youuu ☺️
*cracks knuckles* time to get back into touch with baby shinsou, except this time, deranged 
Yandere!Shinsou x Deaf, Fem Reader
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shinsou was always the sadistic type. He loved to watch you suffer, put you through pain, and crush you beneath his foot just to pick you back up and be your big, strong man; a masochist ideology that guided him through life, and through your relationship. He would hurt you intentionally, most of the time unbeknownst to you, and then swoop in like a dove to carry you off under his wing - because what use was he if you didn’t need him?
He simply loved nothing more than you exploit your impairment, instilling fear from behind and as soon as you turned around, flashing his pity eyes and putting on a show of panic. Except it wasn’t a show.
Shinsou would routinely perform this exhibition of distress, and yet every single time he was actually scared for you after the damage had been done, because after all, you were his little darling; what real man wants to see his little darling worried? You were vulnerable. You needed him. Thankfully, he was here to remind you of that.
Oh, the world is so scary - there was no need for you to go out there alone, at least according to your overprotective boyfriend. He was right, though! You depended on him; the world is too dangerous for a lady as fragile as you. And yet, here you were, out in the wilderness of the city, all by your lonesome.
You just needed some laundry detergent; you had texted Shinsou several times that day before leaving, but after the sixth message with no answer you decided it was best to let him do his work. Oh, he was such a good hero! It made you giddy to think about such a brave, courageous man being your own personal defender. As the cashier scanned your items, you stood silent, neither smiling nor frowning, one hand nervously playing with the volume buttons on your phone, anxiously awaiting for a response from Shinsou, while the other one slid your wallet back into your purse.
Nodding your head to the cashier as thanks, and took your purchase and walked out onto the street, scrunching your nose in offense to the smog that covered the city like a woolen blanket. 
“Watch out!” Someone shouted from behind you; you were unaware, only noticing the slight change in the atmosphere around you. Paranoid to be out by yourself, no way of defense, your eyes darted from the right, the left, up and then down, round the back of your head and up into the skylines. Bam!
A young child, no older then eight at the very least, crashed into you, spinning around on his heels and then bouncing off the pavement. Startled, and anxious to begin with, you couldn’t stop yourself from shrieking as your knees gave out and the plastic shopping bag slipped out of your grasp. The detergent busted on impact, spilling all over the sidewalk. 
“I’m so sorry!” The child looked down at you in shock, not knowing what to do. You could read his lips well enough to have gathered what he said, though, and waved your hand in response. He insisted on helping you up, so you let him, all the while showing no emotion on your face; this must have scared him off, because after a few moments of confused staring he made haste back to his clearly disgruntled mother, who rested an infant on her hip and was shouting at the boy for being so reckless.
You watched the small family with a tinge of jealousy; how cute of a family would you guys be? Before you had time to daydream, you felt a tap at your shoulder. Whipping your head back, you saw a tall man of twenty something years, dressed in a pressed suit with polished shoes; a man of importance perhaps.
“Excuse me, ma’am” he pleaded. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but you see, I’ve broken down here, and...” he trailed off, and you could practically see the gears turning in his mind. “Well, I’ve only ever passed through this city once or twice, and my car’s dead. I have a meeting I really need to be at so, please-” he tilted his head ever so slightly as an innocent animal; what a sorry man, you felt bad for him. “I won’t ask to borrow your cellphone, it feels much too intrusive - I just need some change to call my boss at a payphone”.
You looked at him curiously, not knowing what to do; you pointed to your left ear and shook your head, trying to imply that you were deaf. You could make out only a few of his words; he was jittery, and spoke too fast for you to interpret through his lips.
“Ha...” the supposed businessman shuffled his hands around in his pockets. “I’m sure pretty girls like you get weirdos talking to you all the time, but baby I’m just some poor dude trying to get by. I’m a nice guy, promise, and you’ll probably never even see me again. So, come on - just give me a couple bucks and I’ll be out of your way”.
You opened your mouth as if to speak, but quickly shut it. What were you supposed to do? You had never been in such a situation before... what if something happened to you? Shinsou wasn’t there to protect you, after all, so it was very much a possibility. Looking tired and aggravated, the man huffed a couple times, still waiting for a response.
“Oh, come on!” he finally snapped, grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer to him. “Just give me your fucking money already!”.
Terrified, your pupils dilated, and your lips turned white from how taut they were. You made no attempts to pull away; that always ended poorly for you. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Your emotions were for your boyfriend’s pleasure, not anybody else’s. This man did not deserve the satisfaction of having made you scared, either.
Suddenly, he released his grip, falling backward. You closed your eyes; but, then, another figure touched you again. Could they stop touching you? Carefully turning around, you were shocked to see your beloved Shinsou standing with you. Immediately, you flung yourself into his welcoming, protecting arms that held you tight. He was grimacing. Pulling back so that he could see your face, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, then wiping a stray tear from your cheek. 
It was hard to look him in the eye; he was mad, and although it wasn’t directed towards you, it was difficult to see him in a state of anger, hungry for revenge. 
Later, at home, he sat you down and stroked your cheek. God, he could look at you all day and never get tired of your face. You grinned from ear to ear, lighting his heart on fire and warming him in a way nobody else could. Your smile was only for him, and he was so incredibly honored to be the one and only that you could open up to. You were so sweet, tender, and precious. He’d do anything to make you happy.
Content, recovering from the fear of the day, you buried yourself under his neck. He knew you wouldn’t be able to hear you, but had to voice some things anyways. 
“Ah... I hope now you’ll know better. I’m so glad I was there to save you in time, but God knows what could have happened to you... if only I could hear you promise me to stay with me, that would be a blessing”. He ran his fingers up and down your spine. “You’re too frail to be out alone. Only I can make you happy”. You were truly happy with him; he was always there to lift you up when you were down, and loved him more than anything. He’d do anything to prove his love to you, too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so ngl im not very proud of this i,,,, dont have a lot of experience w yandere types and wasnt really sure how to go about this but i really hope you liked it !!!
-mod Josie
41 notes · View notes
horansqueen · 5 years
Text
AM Conversations : chapter 13
Tumblr media
A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Tumblr media
CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!
- there will be smut added soon, just thought i’d give a fair warning!
- i’m having a hard time finding 2015 Niall gifs so i may add 2016 gifs instead. if you want to propose me any PLEASE message me. youll make my day!
- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!
-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!
Chapter 13 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
Harry was staring at me and I was staring right back. I could feel my heart beat hard against my rib cage but I was not really sure why. Clearly, he thought Niall and I had seen each other naked and although it was pretty true for me, it wasn't as obvious for him. I had caught Niall masturbating completely naked in bed when he was 13, but when Niall saw me, I was wearing a shirt and panties. We got changed in the same room quite often but I knew Niall and I knew he would never look at me without my consent, whether it was out of respect or simply because he was not interested.
Harry's lips curled slightly on the left as he kept his eyes on me and I did the same, looking away and leaning against the couch behind me. It was embarrassing to talk about it and I wanted to talk about something else. I turned to my best friend and had to swallow hard when my eyes landed on him. He had just admitted he had slept with Maya and after what I had confessed to him earlier, it made it even worse. Now I knew why he was trying to reassure me about my jealousy for her and it had worked quite well but now, everything was ruined. I had came to make myself believe that they hadn't done anything. Niall was a discreet person but the way he acted with Maya was so different than how he acted with Heidi and he never explicitly confessed to having sex with her. Perhaps I just didn't want it to be true and now it was hitting me right in the face.
"Sorry guys, but Louis and I have both seen 4 persons in the room naked too, why didn't we get votes?" Liam argued with a frown, obviously talking about his girlfriend who put her hand gently over his.
"Don't go there, Liam." Louis quickly replied, taking the cigarette that was waiting behind his ear and putting it between his lips. "It's a can of worms and no one wants to see that."
Everyone remained silent when he lighted it up and after a few seconds, Eleanor smiled and read a question outloud. I felt the tension in the room calm down suddenly and took my pencil again, ready to keep playing.
"Who's got a deep secret they never told anyone?"
I suddenly held my breath and my eyes got bigger for half a second. I felt extremely exposed for no reason and I closed my eyes, imagining all the eyes turned to me. It was paranoia, it had to be, because no one knew I had feelings for my best friend. No one knew I've always had feelings for him, and that I probably always would. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes again and noticed everyone was busy scribbling down a name and no one was giving me any unsolicited attention. I felt my body relax slightly and quickly grabbed my pen, scribbling the first name that came in my mind.
I waited impatiently for Niall to read all the answers outloud and stress came back when I heard my name. I didn't want to seem like it was true and I simply waited for Niall to be done.
"I don't know why anyone would write Harry." Niall laughed. "He walks around naked, no matter who's in the room, I don't think someone who does that can have any deep secret."
Harry grabbed the first thing he could reach and threw it at him but Niall simply laughed, moving his head right on time not to get Harry's pen in the face.
"Liv doesn't have any deep secret she's never told anyone, she tells me everything, right?"
I held my breath again as I stared at Niall. His eyebrows were raised, his lips were curled into a satisfied smile, and i felt guilt invade my whole body and making my head throb. Could he read in my face how embarrassed I was? My lips parted and I was about to answer when someone else talked.
"Everyone's got secrets." Louis pointed out, taking a sip of his beer. "I'm sure you keep stuff from her and she keeps stuff from you."
"So you keep stuff from your girlfriend, Tommo?" Niall argued, his gaze moving from me to his bandmate.
Louis laughed and rolled his eyes.
"She's not your girlfriend, Neil."
Silence fell in the room and I swallowed hard, trying to find a way to ease the tension. I had no idea why these kind of games always ended up in some sort of arguments but I didn't want to be part of it anymore. I was about to just get up and leave when Lottie groaned low.
"You're both so fucking annoying." she let out. "I think it's time to find a new game to play."
She dived her hand in her purse and bit her bottom lip as she searched for something. After a few seconds where my heart threatened to jump out of my chest, she pulled out cards and sent all of us a smile.
"It's a game I used to play at parties when I was younger." she explained, shaking the cards to put our attention on it. "Kiss And Tell. It's some sort of truth or dare game but the questions and the dare all have to do with kisses. And to avoid everyone to choose 'tell', we'll use a dice. 1,2 and 3 are kiss, and 4, 5 and 6 are tell."
She checked the cards and got off the couch to sit on the floor, putting the two stacks on the carpet. I noticed Harry had gotten up to find a dice and I suddenly realized how bad of an idea it was.
"Okay but maybe I'm not interested in making out with everyone here." I pointed out, staring at the big 'KISS' written on one of the piles.
"Kisses on the cheeks are fine," she chuckled. "but you're ruining the fun, Liv!"
I remembered that time when we were 15 and went to a stupid party. We had played spin the bottle and when it was Niall's turn, the bottle had pointed at me. I couldn't believe I was going to kiss my best friend, who was also the boy I was in love with, in front of everyone. I remember how close he was, how his eyes had roamed on my face, how I held my breath, how scared I was, and how he had apologized in a whisper right before to press his lips on mine. His 'I'm sorry' had haunted me for weeks. What did that even mean? Was he sorry that we had to kiss in front of people? Or that I had to be kissed by him? Or maybe he was just sorry he had to kiss me because he really didn't want to. We had never talked about it after that but now that there was an other chance I could kiss him, I knew I didn't want to go through that again. Would anyone notice if I got up and ran away?
"No way, I mean unless you're actually dating someone, there's no reason not to play! A kiss has never killed anyone!" Max let out, making me turn his way.
"Well, actually..."
"No, no stats darling, please." Niall cut me straight, his lips curling slightly to the right.
I raised my nose in a grimace and shrugged, glancing at the cards again. Lottie decided to start, just to show us how to play and had to kiss the person she trusted the most in the room. Without a surprised, she walked to her brother and kissed his cheek for a few seconds with an exaggerated 'muah!', making me laugh.
I watched as Gemma grabbed the dice and got a 2, picking up a 'kiss' card.
"Kiss the person you could have dated (outside of your significant other)."
Her eyes roamed on everyone and she sighed in a defeated manner. I could bet kissing her little brother's friends was not something she had ever thought about.
"I'm sorry but i've seen all of you pre-puberty and it's a complete turn off." she pointed out, getting up and walking to the other side of the living room. "Except you."
Max chuckled but got up too and I stared at them way too intensely. It's not that I didn't want to kiss anyone. In fact, I didn't really mind, but I didn't know how i'd react if I had to kiss Niall again. I honestly thought it would hurt me even more than it did the first time. The kiss lasted a bit too long and the way she gripped the side of his shirt made my heart jump. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss I shared with Niall and how I was torn between hoping to do it again or to never do it again.
When I got out of my thoughts, I noticed Gemma was back on the couch while Max had taken place somewhere on the floor near his best friend.
"He didn't look that bad pre-puberty but he's better now, trust me." Eleanor let out, making Gemma chuckle a bit.
It took only a few seconds for Julie to breathe her courage in and grab the dice before grabbing a 'tell' card with a small relieved smile. I knew no one would have forced her to kiss someone else than her boyfriend but I could understand why it was stressing her. In fact, the amount of stress invading my body at that exactly moment was clearly too much to contain and I started playing with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
"Tell us about your most memorable kiss." she read out loud, sending a glance at Liam.
They both smiled at each other and I bite my bottom lip, forgetting how nervous I was for a few seconds. The level of complicity they had reached had me quite jealous. It must be amazing to be able to get to that point with someone when that someone was your lover. I knew Niall and I were extremely close, probably as close as Julie and Liam were, but we were just friends, and I think that toned down the relationship a bit. Not because friendship was less important than love, of course not, but because when you're best friends and dating, there was only the two of you. That intimacy wouldn't have to be shared with a boyfriend or a girlfriend outside of your relationship. It was complete. It was full. I wanted to be complete with Niall.
I glanced at him, making my heart jump in my chest, before to focus on Julie's story. I would have expected her most memorable kiss to be their first but it ended up being that one time, when he was on tour and they hadn't seen each other in weeks. It was in the way Liam had looked at her, how her whole body had given in, how it felt like the first time again... It was about how much they had missed each other and how they realized they didn't want to be apart for that long again. The romantic in my sighed internally as I brought my hands in my sleeves, gripping my shirt with both hands from inside. I could have something great with Harry, I knew it, but would we ever be as close as I was with Niall? That was clearly impossible. Right?
I saw Niall grab a card and my heart seemed to stop but I relaxed when I realized it was in the 'tell' pile. I moved my knees up, my arms around them, and leaned my cheek on them to look at my best friend. He seemed surprised by the card in his hand but finally read it outloud.
"Tell us about your most awkward kiss."
When Niall turned to me and dived his gaze in mine, I held my breath. I didn't want him to talk about that kiss we shared over a decade ago but I knew it had came to his mind and somehow, it made me feel like shit. It really was awkward, but to me, it was weird because I had feelings for him. For Niall, it was probably awkward because he didn't have feelings for me. He didn't want to do it. After all, he had apologized before doing it.
"Oh god." he chuckled, rubbing his eyes slowly and extending his legs on the carpet. "One time I was hanging out with this girl I didn't like and she just misread some signals or I don't know, and she kissed me but she did it so quick her front teeth hit my upper lip and it started bleeding. I don't know if it can be considered a kiss but it was horrible."
Everyone laughed but I just kept staring at him. I already knew about this story. That girl was one of my friends and after that day, I stopped speaking to her. Now that I thought about it, it was wrong of me because after all, she had no one idea how I felt for Niall, no one knew, but I couldn't deal with it anyway. It was not her fault, it was mine.
"Okay, my turn." Harry let out, extending his body close to me to grab the dice and pick a 'tell' card.
I felt extremely lucky that both of them had gotten that instead of a 'kiss' card. I didn't want to kiss any of them at this moment, but I also didn't want to see them kiss anyone. I closed my eyes tight at that thought, realizing how much of a loser I was, before opening them again. Harry moved his gaze up to look at me and his lips curled slightly into a fond smile. I couldn't explain how much I enjoyed it when he looked at me that way.
"Tell us about your favorite kiss." he read, his eyes never leaving mine.
I didn't want to hear about it but at the same time, I was dying to find out what kind of kiss could be his favorite. Was it romantic like Julie and Liam's? Or was it in a heated and passionate moment? I ended up thinking that knowing Harry, it could be a first kiss when he was young with someone he really loved, or an intense kiss before making love. He could give any of these answers and I wouldn't be surprised.
"My favorite non-kiss involved jello." he started, still staring at me. "And I was so close to kiss her but her clumsy ass choked on it. She probably thinks she ruined it but it made me like her even more. There was also this non-kiss in the pool, where I kept thinking about her lips and the way they would feel. Or that non-kiss at the lake where we got cock-blocked."
During his whole monologue, I held my breath and everyone was focused on him. It was always that way with Harry, he always had everyone's attention because he was captivating. I didn't want to think about everyone else in the room, though, and I didn't have to. He was looking at me, and no one else.
"But my favorite kiss is the kiss i'll get when we finally kiss for the first time. So it hasn't happened yet, but i'm still hoping for it." he concluded before I exhaled suddenly, realizing I was out of breath.
I smiled at him, my lips parting slightly and my heart jumping so hard in my chest that I honestly thought everyone could hear it through the powerful silence filling the room. No one dared to talk and Harry smiled more, chuckling low before moving his chin a bit.
"Your turn, Liv."
It took me a lot of courage to roll the dice and I had to swallow hard when I saw the number 3. I knew my luck couldn't stay forever and I shook my head, picking a 'kiss' card. I didn't want to read it, I didn't want to kiss anyone with everyone watching, and it took me forever to read the card. It took a few seconds to process what I read and I held my breath, confused and stunned by the words on the card.
'kiss the person you love the most in the room.'
I didn't even have the guts to read it outloud and I just pressed my lips together and shook my head.
"No, sorry, I can't do that."
Quickly, I got back on my feet and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind myself. I leaned against it, my head hitting gently the wood, and closed my eyes as I tried to calm the erratic beatings of my heart. I knew my reaction would bring a lot of questions but I didn't care. I just couldn't deal with that card.
I felt the card between my fingers and held it tighter, glad that I had brought it with me so no one could read it. I slipped it in the back pocket of my jeans and pressed the palms of my hands on my eyes, trying to get rid of the shame invading my whole body and mind.
Instinctively, I thought about Niall as soon as I saw the words but picking him would be admitting something I was not ready to admit and probably never would. I knew it could pass as strong and intense friendship but I didn't think everyone would be gullible enough to believe it. It was obvious to me that at least one person would find out about how I really felt, and I was scared that that person would be Harry.
How did I really feel about Harry? Was he only there, in my heart, to fill the space I wanted Niall to fill? Was he someone I could fall in love with? Or was I doomed to date people I would never really love simply because I couldn't seem to forget about how much I loved my best friend? Was that void I wanted Niall to fill going to be there forever? Was it possible for me to be satisfied with someone the way I knew i'd be with him?
My head said it was possible for me to be happy without him, but my heart screamed louder, telling me i'd always be missing something inside of me and I tended to listen to my heart in every circumstances.
I jumped in surprise when I heard a knock at the door and moved away from it. I was not ready to face anyone but i knew i'd have to, sooner or later, and perhaps it was better to do it now and get it over with.
"Babe?" I heard a low but high voice. "Please, let us in."
I recognized Eleanor's voice and the surprise was even bigger. We've always been on good terms but I wouldn't consider us close. Still, I had to admit I was touched by the fact that she was ready to be there for me and I unlocked the door, opening it slowly. The shock was even bigger when I saw Lottie, Gemma, Julie and Maya waiting with her. I stood there, motionless, my lips slightly parted, and El just raised her eyebrows.
"Can we come in?"
The bathroom was large but clearly not built for 6 girls and I sat on the edge of the bath tub while the others leaned on the walls, sat on the toilet or simply on the floor and I waited until someone would talk.
"Okay so I don't know what your card is, but clearly, you want to kiss Harry, right?"
"Uhm.."
What was I supposed to answer to that? No one knew how I felt for Niall, meaning that no one could help me with this confusion that was tearing me apart. All of them thought my reaction had everything to do with Harry when it was a lie, and I had to keep on lying.
"Oh what he said about the kiss?" Maya let out, moving her upper body in our direction as her lips curled into a naive but happy smile. "That was so great! It wasn't even for me and it made my heart melt!"
I knew she was thinking about Niall and I swallowed.
"Yea." Gemma groaned before letting out a chuckle. "My brother has that effect on people."
"Wait." Julie quickly said, raising one of her hands to get silence. She turned to me. "You want to kiss Harry, Liv, right?"
"I mean..." I slowly raised one of my shoulders as my eyes roamed on the five girls around me. "I guess, yes."
That was not a lie. I just omitted to add that I'd prefer to kiss NIall.
"We could cheat?" Lottie proposed. "So they get to kiss? Or find a game that will have them kiss immediately?"
"7 minutes in heaven?" Maya quickly suggested, her face illuminating.
"What are we, 12?"
The discussion kept going but I remained silent, only half-listening to what they were proposing as they threw ideas on how and when I could finally kiss Harry. I knew they meant well, and I could admit that I was deeply grateful and moved by the fact that they were there for me and cared enough to try and help me. I had known these girls for a while and I liked them a lot, but even Maya, whom I had just met, was trying to find a solution and the fact that it made her even more perfect than she already was made something stir in my stomach.
Their voices became a background noise and I suddenly held my breath and jumped on my feet again. I was tired to wait, tired to ask myself questions, tired to analyze every move of everyone, including myself. I deserved to be happy, I owed myself to at least try, and it was time I did something about it.
"I know what to do." I just whispered, opening the door and walking out of the bathroom.
They remained motionless and in shock for a few seconds but ended up following me to the living room, getting there just in time.
The boys were now standing up, talking and drinking. I noticed Harry saying something and Niall laughed but they both noticed me when I entered the room. I had never felt so determined in my life. I knew I had to do it and I knew I had to do it now. It didn't matter where we were and with who. All that mattered was this.
I walked up to them and noticed Harry's lips curl at my sight. Quickly, I got on my tiptoe, gripped his shirt tight and pressed my lips on his. He smelled like expensive cologne and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his mouth against mine. His hands found my waist but I could barely feel the tip of his fingers brushing against my sweater as he deepened the kiss but kept everything slow and gentle. He tasted amazing: a mix of sweet alcohol and caramel. How was that even possible?
I think I heard a few positive reactions around me but I tried to shut down every single senses except the ones that made me enjoy this kiss. The way he smelled, tasted, felt... And at this exact moment, I asked myself why this hadn't happened before? Why did we wait so long to get this incredible and inexplicable feeling? There was no answer and I pushed the questions away to focus on this moment that I knew i'd never forget.
73 notes · View notes
seidas-blog1 · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
meet sadie chae, your resident helplessly hopeless romantic !
whaddup i’m ellie and that’s basically it! i’m so excited to be here and meet u all!! i’m a slut for plots, so if u wanna plot then :) a gal is here and ready <3 but also if u just wanna b friends  then :) a gal is also here n ready pls <3 
(  kim seolhyun, cis female, she/her/hers  )  who is that ? oh, it’s just SADIE CHAE. the TWENTY TWO year old has been in beauhart for EIGHT YEARS and is currently UNDECIDED. i’ve heard they can be SINCERE and DEVOTED, but also PASSIVE and IDEALISTIC. maybe that’s why their anthem is WORST OF YOU by MAISIE PETERS and THE SMILE INBETWEEN KISSES, CLICHE FAIRYTALES, THE SMELL OF ROSES makes me think of them. ⁠— ellie, 20, pst, she/her/hers
BASICS
basically! sadie is a helpless hopeless romantic, a walking doormat, and that’s literally the best two ways to describe her because that’s sadie chae
disney stories, sappy novels, and romance cliches are everything to sadie. she believes in love in every way possible. 
falls in love too quick, catches feelings too fast, and falls too hard 
when she loves, she loves with everything in her (romantically, platonically, familial, and everything except for herself basically aha) 
she lacks self love and kinda looks for love from someone else and for someone else to fill that for her. 
family life was kinda average. she wasn’t neglected as a child, but she also wasn’t drowning in love. she lived in a typical asian household where “i love yous” were never said and instead were shown thru actions
that’s okay but unfortunately sadie’s love language is words of affirmation and while she knew her parents loved her, she was never really convinced growing up
she was born in houston but moved to beauhart (bc of her dad’s job relocation) when she was 14 which was around her first year of high school
went to university and she’s doing something right now but me (the mun) is still deciding what sadie is doing bc i’m still? up in the air about her occupation like i have an idea or two for her but im not sure which one i want for her yet 
PERSONALITY
she’s sincere, devoted, and completely genuine 
she’ll never fake how she’s feeling and she’s not afraid to show how she’s feeling either. like if she’s in love with u ur gonna know it. she doesnt shy away from her emotions and she’ll let it b known
but also she’s only vocal when it comes to positive emotions ig. if she doesnt like u then she’ll avoid u or simply not know how to act around u. if u hurt her then she’ll be passive about it and kinda just let it happen. 
when i say she’s a doormat she’s an actual doormat she’ll let people hurt and walk all over her and allow it to happen in silence and be completely passive about it. 
very idealistic and while it was cute when she was a child, having ur head in the clouds isn’t gonna help u in life and sadie sadly doenst kno this nor does she realize it
wants and craves love from anything and everything that’ll  give it to her. 
probs victimizes herself or like. if she’s hurt she wont come to u about it and highkey feels like u should just know y she’s hurting. she needs attention just as much as she needs love
ETC
the most important thing to know about sadie is that she craves love like it’s her entire worth 
like to put it into perspective an ex went down on one knee once bc he dropped his wallet and she freaked the fuck out thinking he was proposing and repeatedly said “yes,  yes, yes!” like a dumbass. 
like she’ll believe anyone nice to her might b “the one” and will fall for anyone. like literally anyone. unless they’re homies n strictly platonics then sadies chilling but other than that? she’ll fall in love x 
u say u fall in love 10 times a day but sadie actually  falls in love 10 times a day 
throws around love like its nothing despite being so far up loves ass if that makes sense? she’ll believe she’s in love w anyone n everyone but sadie has never actually been in love (or has she? omg plot?) 
a hopeless romantic but falls in love for the wrong reasons aka not for the actual person 
sadie is kinda more into the idea of love than the actual person sometimes. she likes being someone’s other half and sometimes she likes that more than the actual person 
doesnt kno when to let go. her fish died 6 years ago and she’s still crying about it at 3 am. bitch get over it 
that’s it that’s all i got for now pls love her x 
PLOT IDEAS
i’m a slut for plots so if u wanna plot then! reply to this post saying something and i’ll come to u <3 but also if u wanna go off of like natural interactions then we can do that too its wtvr we can plot or go w the flow its wtvr u wanna do <3 
possible plot ideas tho if u DO wanna plot r <3
best friends / ride or dies
cousins ? 
roommate maybe? omg think of how cute 
sibling like relationships r everything  to me
ex best friends
crushes (one sided or reciprocated)
exes (sadie is pan) 
one night stand that sadie didnt get the memo about it being JUST a one night stand 
bad influences (shes not an innocent innocent but i think someone who’s real w her and basically opens up her eyes to b more realistic would b great for her. shes stuck in the clouds so much she’s gonna start floating away if someone doesn't anchor her to the ground) 
ENEMIES bc those plots r always so fun UGH PLS
maybe some jealousy? sadie could feel jealous or the other way around ??? could b interesting 
someone who uses/manipulates sadie. she’s a walking doormat  and so having someone use her isnt something new and probs something sadie doesnt see or just doesnt have the balls to call out 
13 notes · View notes
lookbluesoup · 5 years
Text
OC Interview Meme
Tagged by @tarberrymentats and @wastelandwandererstuff​ B)
SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET TO THIS GUYS spring break kept me busy xD But I AM BACK NOW AND READY TO ANSWER THESE TAGS THANK U ALL <33 It’s been a blast getting to read about everyone’s Fallout characters ;w; I’m trying to get braver about leaving comments/reblogs but in the meantime just know I SEE YOUR AWESOME CHARACTERS and I APPRECIATE THEM.
This was actually a challenge answering from Nate’s POV xD There’s stuff that I KNOW ABOUT HIM AND WANT TO SHARE but he wouldn’t volunteer or he wouldn’t view the same way so… take it for what it is! And feel free to ask questions! ;w;
Tumblr media
It is long. Long long long. Not sorry. 16, 19, 28, and 33 are my favorites c;
1. What is your name?
Oh. Wow. We’re starting this interview off with some tough ones, hunh? Uhh… hm. My name. My name… Let me think. (overly dramatic pause) Nathaniel Christian Ronan? Yeah. That sounds right.
2. Do you know why are you named that?
I was told my name means “God has given,” because my parents didn’t actually think they’d be able to have a second kid. That and Pops was an army chaplain - wanted me to have a name reflecting the faith. He was very literal in his approach. Ronan is an Irish surname, which seemed a lot more important 200 years ago than it does today. It means… uh, oh, shoot, I used to know… Don’t worry, it’ll come to me.
3. Are you single or taken?
(chuckles) Sorry folks, my roving days are over. Got a nosy reporter waiting for me back in Diamond City... whatever time I’ve got left I’m giving it to her.
4. Have any abilities or powers?
Powers? What, like, superpowers? That’d be awesome but, hah, no. Though I’ve been told my ability to talk myself out of trouble is uncanny. My martinis were legendary, and still would be if I find the ingredients for them in this apocalyptic wasteland. Friends say I’ve got a good ear for music… Oh, and ventriloquism. That’s always fun.
5. Stop being a Mary Sue.
I know you are but what am I?
6. What’s your eye color?
Blue, like my grandmother. (blinks dramatically several times for emphasis)
7. How about your hair color?
Coal back. (runs a hand through it almost nervously) And holding up better than the rest of me, considering the complete lack of well-deserved grey hair.
8. Have any family members?
I have a son, Shaun. Piper gave me roots, and Nat’s pretty much my little sister, too, at this point. The Railroad’s been more family to me than most of my own blood ever was.
9. Oh? How about pets?
Legs Washington, an orphaned radstag I brought to the Castle. He’s a bit of a mascot for the men, follows Shaun everywhere. Yeah, it’s adorable.
10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?
You guess? Look, after this interview, I’m taking you to the Castle to meet them yourself. Your life will be changed. There’s plenty to dislike about the Commonwealth, enough to go mad over. It’s not exactly the charming old homestead of days gone by. But we’re making it better one day at a time.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Hah! “Duck and Cover” is a big one. Got me suspended from Railroad HQ once, though. I still say that was Deacon’s fault. I like long walks through the woods, playing baseball with Shaun, and a General’s work is never done but it does bring fulfillment. I like all those activities infinitely better when Piper’s around. Is that mushy? God, that sounds mushy. (smiles shamelessly)
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Yeah. Some deserved it… some I’m still trying to make up for.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
(stops smiling) Yeah. I have. You want a kill count? Six-word soundbites about all the blood and screams and the way men look when they realize they’re about to die? It’s not a fun fact. It’s not fun. Next question.
14. Name your worst habits?
I’m afraid that information’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. OH! LITTLE SEAL. That’s what Ronan means! Yeah, you know, like, selkie babies.
15. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
Aha… seriously? I’m Pipersexual, end of story. Unless you count the undying affection between my best mate Deacon, and me, which I’ve been told occasionally inspires jealousy. Honestly, I never gave putting a name to my romantic inclinations much thought. It’s always been women, but maybe I just never met the right man.
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Piper, for sure. She’s - the way she sees the world? It gives me hope. She’s brave, brave enough to fight for what she believes in. No matter how bad it gets she always finds a light to hold onto, somehow, and keep going. And she’s genuine. I didn’t know what courage really was until I met her. Scribbles’ friendship is… a hell of a lot more than I deserve. I wouldn’t be the same without it. And, God, she’s funny. Sweet, and - a-ha, hm… we’d be here all day if I tried to list all the reasons why I love her.
I also have immense respect for Nick Valentine. He’s a good guy. Without ‘im, I might still be chasing my tail out in the woods somewhere. Or worse. Nick was a friend to me when I needed it most, put everything on the line to help me find my son - didn’t even hesitate. I’ll never be able to repay him for that.
17. What kind of animal are you?
One of a kind. (winks)
18. Do you go to school?
The Commonwealth has a way of schooling everyone, doesn’t it? I’m a bit too old for arithmetic and hall passes, but I never stop learning, if that’s what you mean.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
I’-ve… been down that road before. (breaks eye contact abruptly) Times were uncertain enough when Shaun was born. Now? Scribbles and I roll the dice every day of our lives. Asking her to marry me – starting over – was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. A baby would be, uh, a really big change. (smiles briefly, uncertain) Maybe if – no, I don’t know. Piper’s never shown any desire for something like that. If she did – even if she did... (sighs) I – look. Let’s just move on, okay?
20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
Oh yeah, I have an ensemble of groupies that follow me around the wasteland with a pack brahmin and an eyebot.They pitch my tent for me and cook all my meals. I pay for services with my autograph instead of caps. (rolls eyes, but keeps a smile)
21. What are you most afraid of?
Losing someone I love. I know we don’t get any guarantees out here in the wasteland, but… loss never gets any easier. It makes it hard to open up, y’know? I spent a long time keeping folks who cared about me at arm’s length, and some days it’s still a challenge.
22. What do you usually wear?
What you see is what you get! Derbys, slacks, a shirt as white as I can get it in these conditions, and a black vest, because that never goes out of style. My favorite hat is - take a look at this. It’s a bicorne. Has anyone worn that since the French Revolution? It’s great. I love it. Piper doesn’t.
23. What’s one food that tempts you?
You know what I miss? Chocolate. I’d kill for chocolate. … kidding.
24. Am I annoying to you?
Hah! I married a journalist. This is just another Tuesday.
25. Well, it’s still not over!
Look, if I’m not back by seven…
26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?
I mean… it’s not like anyone’s ‘wealth’ compares to what it was like before the war. I’m not living off charred molerat, but I certainly won’t be moving into the Upper Stands anytime soon. Most of what I have, I made myself.
27. How many friends do you have?
More than I deserve. Piper and Deacon are probably my two best friends though. Nick, Preston, and Kent oughta be mentioned, too.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
You mean those damn perfectly preserved slices stuck in the Port-A-Diners? God, I’ve tried everything. I spent an entire afternoon trying to break in. What is the glass even made of? I couldn’t put a scratch on it. You have to just keep pushing the button. Over and over. I’m convinced it’s all some Vault-Tec conspiracy. There is no pie. The pie is a lie. Piper says she managed it once, but I don’t believe her.
29. Favorite drink?
Nuka cherry! No question.
30. What’s your favorite place?
There’s a spot up at the top of Diamond City. I mean the top top, even higher than the Stands. Clear night with a full moon? You can see for miles. Can’t be beat.
31. Are you interested in anyone?
You’ve - been listening, right? Aha, was I unclear about being madly in love?
32. That was a stupid question…
You’d be surprised how often it gets asked. (chuckles)
33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Lake. Definitely. I’m marginally less likely to get eaten there. That being said, I was up in Maine once, went out to pick lure weed. You know, those radioactive yellow flowers that grow in muddy ponds? Bad idea.Terrible idea. Maine is a terrible place and I will not be building a summer home there e-ver.
34. What’s your type?
Kickass reporters with the brightest hazel eyes you’ve ever seen, hair like Aphrodite, and a smile to make you melt.
35. Any fetishes?
Look, you’re very nice. Really. And I appreciate the interest, but ah, this isn’t any of your business. Only one person gets to ask me about those and - you aren’t her.
36. Camping or outdoors?
Camping? Oh man, those were the days. An RV trip would be the bomb. It’s not much of an option these days. But I’m used to sleeping rough, and I gotta admit, it has its charm.
15 notes · View notes
koukoupepia · 5 years
Text
i posted this on twitter but i might as well post this here too, somewhat aimless rambling about the destiny trio in kh3 and how it did them dirty under the cut. beware, its kind of long. kh3 spoilers, obviously
this isn't my thoughts on kh3 as a whole, its more of a kairi/destiny trio rant. this isnt entirely coherent either. god ok im sorry for all the kh3 talk but i dont know how long its going to take me to stop being pissed about what happened with kairi when for a long time they were building her up to be a character who Does Stuff now. she gets her keyblade in kh2! it was revealed she's be joining the 7 guardians in the ddd secret ending! she's talking to yen sid with riku at the end of 0.2! and when we were let down i saw people saying "well, what did you expect? it's square." like its not common knowledge kh doesnt have the best writing but i dont thing its unrealistic to have expected better than THAT. a cardboard cutout who got fridged for manpain. like kairi wasnt always the best character, certainly wasnt very well treated, but i cant believe that fucking kh2 treated her better than kh3 did.
anyway i keep thinking about how it makes me sad that the destiny trio is really not a trio, but also that their relationship progression... doesnt make a lot of sense. when info came out about kh3 having a theme of relationships changing, i wondered if they were actually going to be leaning away from the romance angle (still too much to ask for, but god.) i wondered if sora and kairi were going to realize they weren't as close as they used to be, since they have spent SO much time apart with no contact. and sora and riku continue to be very tight, because every game since kh2 has woven them together like the tightest knit sweater. i like the idea that sora & kairi have puppy crushes on each other in the early games - -in kh1 theyre very sweet. i wouldve been happy with canon sokai if their friendship continued to be as sweet as that. it's kind of interesting how in kh2, when sora sees sally and jack dancing, he imagines himself and kairi dancing together, but it's his current self and a younger kairi, because it's how he last remembers her. at that point he still feels closest to kairi and his relationship with riku is strained.
kh2 changes the dynamic when sora and riku finally reunite and they make up in a very healthy way (catch me crying about the scene on the dark margin, ive never seen two characters mend their relationship in a way that made me cry that much.) sora leaves the islands again, but the scene where kairi regifts the charm she made him after he gives it back is important because it shows that they both have faith that they'll continue to be friends no matter how far apart they are, and they'll find each other again. by Days you see the utter dedication that riku has to sora, he basically treats living a waking nightmare with the single goal to make sure sora wakes up safely as atonement. sora doesnt know the extent of this but you, the audience, do. the series REALLY emphasizes their relationship and their closeness and their dedication to each other, how they support each other in the ways they need. re:coded has the journal decide that riku was the best form to take to protect information about sora's journey. ddd shows riku as the only one fit to dive into sora's heart to wake him up. (and as of kh3 we know that dives to the heart exist in a place where the line between sleep and death is very thin -- aka, riku really risked his whole ass life AGAIN for a CHANCE to wake sora up.) when riku is told he passed the mark of mastery, sora is too busy being happy for him to feel sad for himself.
the relationship between riku and kairi.... is very minimal. but i think it's interesting that in kh1 when maleficent manipulates riku's feelings of jealousy to draw him further into the darkness, he thinks "oh god i have to get kairi. sora can't abandon her, too." i like that in kh2, kairi is able to tell that it's him immediately and she refuses to let him walk away without reuniting him without sora. in kh3 they dont interact at all, its weird as hell. it's like they dont know each other and kairi is sora's friend only.
i was disappointed at the minimal interaction between riku and sora in kh3, and i know that it's partially because this is the first game where their individual goals and motivations dont revolve around each other somehow (sora's goals in this game are all over the place in a bad way but that's a different post) but i was really hoping for a good chat and/or heartfelt moment between them like almost every other game has, since their relationship is probably the backbone of the series. one of the things that irked me about how they treated kairi is that sora actually thinks about riku on multiple occasions throughout the game and wants to talk to him, and the part where he thinks about how riku thought he had to push him away to protect him re: elsa was an "oh shit they really did go there" moment for me. on the other hand sora did not think of or mention kairi even once before their first conversation -- they didnt even have him wonder how she was doing, or wish he could call her, or have anything remind him of her. between the end of kh2 and ddd he and kairi dont interact or contact each other once, because nomura only cares to stick kairi where she can be a romantic prize for sora and doesnt treat her like theyre actually friends.
then the actual first scene they have together is so damn jarring. this was 24 hours into my playthrough of a game that took me ~30 hours to complete. theyre on their usual spot on the paopu tree, kairi points out that riku is by himself, which is not ooc for riku, but when they have her use that moment to pull out a paopu fruit and go "heysoraiwannabetogetherforeversoletssharethese" my reaction was "where did this come from suddenly and why is it happening so fast." theres NO buildup to this scene whatsoever. and then sora's attitude completely changes after that in a really weird way, like kairi is suddenly the Thing That Matters Most when he's never ever acted like one friend meant more to him than another. nomura if you revisited your damn games you'd know sora loves everyone intensely and indiscriminately. when everyone fucking "dies" in front of sora and he's following a light that he calls riku's name to and it turns out to be! surprise! it's kairi for some reason! when i think about it, it hurts a little but i don't know why. i like that she did actually find a way to protect him, but i dont like that it had to be this weird deus ex machina that has no explanation (is this part of kairi's unexplained powers? is this just a plot device?? who knows.)
dont FUCKING get me started on xemnas kidnapping kairi in front of sora and xehanort killing her in front of him in a scene that reduced my enjoyment of the game by a solid 25% because it's BULLSHIT and FRIDGING WOMEN FOR MANPAIN IS SO ORIGINAL AND NOT CHOCK-FULL O' MISOGYNY.
sora saying kairi's the reason for his whole journey is blatantly not true (ATTENTION NOMURA REVISIT YOUR FUCKING WRITING) so he should go look for her alone while riku is standing right fucking there and riku just. lets him go??? like kairi's not his friend too??? what the fuck??? the last scene where it pans up the paopu tree to kairi and sora holding hands and sora fades away while everyone else, including riku, is just having a good time???? what the fuck???? you know sora /would/ drop everything to go save a friend but i dont like that suddenly he acts like kairi outweighs every other person in his life simply because theres some romantic interest there. with someone he was never written to have an actual relationship with. in a game about friendship. and like, shipping aside, sora and riku have one of the most SOLID friendships ive seen in any media and riku just gets ejected out of his own damn trio because of a hamfisted romance AAAAA
in conclusion: Not My Destiny Trio
22 notes · View notes
crashdevlin · 5 years
Text
New Romantics-3: Blame and Blood
Tumblr media
New Romantics Masterlist
Author’s Note: This is a multi-chapter sequel to Wildest Dreams
Summary: Dean told y/n that she’d pick up the machete and rock salt again, but he’s surprised to see her at Harvelle’s Roadhouse less than a year later. She’s nervous to tell him and Sam the catalyst for her to start hunting again.
Pairing(s): Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader x Dean (no wincest), surprise! x Reader (no actual smut here, just sexual aggressiveness)
Word Count: 4397
Story Warnings: Smut, 18+ HERE BE SEX, DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!, anal sex, oral sex (fem and male receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, bloodplay, canon-appropriate character deaths, manipulation, BoyKing!Sam and Intended Queen!Reader!
Chapter Warnings: Alcohol as a crutch, depression, self-blame, Dean blaming reader for shit, BoyKing!Sam, manipulation, demon blood, being high on demon blood...
Bobby's been calling me for days, leaving voicemails about the end of the world, but I can't answer. I can't return the calls. I can't prepare for the end because I can't stop seeing Dean in my head sobbing over Sam's lifeless body. I can't stop hearing her-fault in my head. I've crawled into a bottle... and another... and another. I've been sprawled out on this motel bed for two days, a steadily growing pile of empties on the floor.
I'm blacked out when Bobby shows up, picks my lock and lets himself into my motel room. He picks me up and drops me in the bathtub, turns the shower on to spray cold water across me. I moan and try to escape the cold, but Bobby holds me down with a hand on my collar. "You need to sober up, girl. You missed some important shit while you were in the bottom of those bottles, ignorin' my calls."
"Bobby, no. Go 'way."
"I ain't here for your self-pitying bullshit, kid. Hundreds of demons escaped a hell's gate and you've been here-"
"I got Sam killed!" I exclaim, grabbing Bobby's hand and trying to pry his fingers off of my shirt.
"And Dean brought him back!"
My eyes widen at that, and I sit up. "He didn't do what John did. Tell me he didn't do what John did!" Bobby just looks away from me and I scramble to get out of the tub. The motion makes me nauseated, and I scrabble along the tile floor to eject whiskey into the toilet bowl. Bobby pulls my hair out of my face and rubs my back. "How long?" I groan, the sound bouncing off of the porcelain.
"A year. A year to get him out of it, girl. A year to fix the mess the yellow eyed demon made." Bobby stands and heads into the main room, tossing a towel and a new set of clothes from my duffel. "We need you, sweetheart. We need you sober and not drowning in guilt. It wasn't yer fault."
"Sam wouldn't've left. I tried to get him to... he wanted to save them, and they killed him an' I wasn' 'ere."
Bobby sighed, heavily, as I pulled myself up from the bathroom floor, pulling on the sink counter. "That ain't important. What's important is fighting the army the demon brought forth." I look up into the old man's tired eyes and take a deep breath. "Don't matter if you think they want you there, y/n. We need you there. Ash is gone. We need yer brains."
I nod. "Let me get a real shower. I'll be out in a few." He squeezes my shoulder and walks out of the bathroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drink a bit of the dog that bit me and I start combing through newspapers, looking for signs of the hundreds of demons Bobby says made it out through the hell's gate in Wyoming. "Sam an' Dean said you was... you were like Sam? That's why you were in Cold Oak?" Bobby asks, suddenly. I look down. "Why didn't you say somethin'?"
"Why didn't I tell a hunter that I could read minds and had been having visions of death and destruction and that I dropped my shotgun on a hunt and made it fly back to my hand with my mind? Is that a question you're actually asking me, Bobby?"
"I wasn't gonna hurt you, y/n! I've known you since you were knee-high."
"I know, but I didn't even tell my father when I started having visions, Bobby. I only told Sam because I... I had to." I shake my head. "It doesn't matter. It's gone. Since I've been sober... ish... Since I've been awake, I've noticed it's gone. I can't hear you. It's over."
"That's over, but the rest ain't." Bobby says, pulling his laptop up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We find a swarm of cicadas and some crop death in Lincoln, Nebraska and load up in his old Chevelle. Bobby calls Sam from the road, putting the phone on speaker so I can talk, too, even though he knows I won't. "Hey, Sam."
"Hey, Bobby." Sam responds.
"What'cha doin'?"
"Oh, same old, same old."
"You buried in that book again?" It's the same book Sam's apparently been looking at for a week. "Sam, you wanna break Dean free of that deal, you ain't gonna find the answer in no book."
"Then where, Bobby?"
"Kid, I wish I knew. So, where's your brother?"
"Polling the electorate." Sam answers.
"What?" Bobby doesn't get the Simpsons reference, but I do. Dean's fucking some skank in a dirty motel. A thrill of jealousy runs through me but I ignore it. I have no right.
"Never mind." Sam dismisses.
"Well, you boys better pack it up. I think we finally found something."
"We?" Sam asked.
I want to shake my head, leave it as long as possible before the Winchesters know I'm involved, but I bite my tongue and Bobby sighs. "Y/n. I found her."
"Is she okay?" Sam asks, a worried tone on his words. "Where did she go after Cold Oak?"
Bobby gives me a look that says 'I told you you were overreacting, girl' and clears his throat. "She thought she got you killed, so she tried to drown herself in bourbon."
"What? She didn't get me killed. Bobby, it wasn't her-"
"Yeah, now she's blamin' herself for Dean makin' that deal, too."
"None of this woulda happened if I'd just listened to her, Bobby. She tried to get me to leave the others to their own devices, she tried to warn me about Ava back before Lily even turned up dead. None of this is her fault."
"Dean thinks it is." I say, finally.
"Y/n! What-"
"Before I ran, when he was... when he was holding you, I could hear it, feel it... he blames me, Sam, and he's not wrong."
"Yes, he is. He's very wrong. It's not your fault, y/n." I bite my lip. "If Dean still thinks that, he's wrong. All you did was get out. That's it. Jake stabbed me, and he only had that opportunity because I didn't kill him when I had the chance. All of it... all of it was the demon's fault."
I swallow and look down. "If I'd stayed, I could have helped."
"Or you could've got yourself killed, too. Look, we'll talk more when we get up together. What'd you find, and where?"
As Bobby runs down the information for Sam, I bite my thumbnail. I'm nervous about seeing them but happy that Sam at least doesn't blame me for his demise. We make it to the outskirts of Lincoln early the next morning and we quickly find the house which seems to be ground zero for the cicada plague. We don't go in, calling Sam to let him know where we are, and I hop up onto the back of the Chevelle to wait for the boys. "So, where's your daddy been, girl?" Bobby asks, trying to make small talk.
"He's been down in South America. There's some... Norte Chicoan artifact he's trying to track down. He didn't give me much in the way of details. He was trying to respect my... decision to stay out of the game."
Bobby looks down. "He know yer back in?"
I shake my head. "What would I say, Bobby? 'I started having visions and doing weird shit with my mind so I got back into hunting to prove to a demon that I wasn't gonna play his game?' No. No, I don't think that'd fly. Just keep... doing what I'm doing."
There's a moment of silence. "Ain't my business, but you might wanna call 'im. Since ya almost died in Cold Oak and yer back huntin' puttin' yer life in danger... might be a good thing fer a dad to know."
I sigh. Calling Dad is about as high on my list as an ice pick lobotomy. Fortunately, we don't have to keep talking, because the familiar roar of Dean Winchester's Impala engine pulls our attention to the end of the driveway. The Winchester boys get out of the car, Dean chewing on a burger. His eyes jump to mine, then pointedly look away. Sam wraps his arms around me and I melt, wrapping my arms around his chest. "Sam, I'm so sorry." I whisper, just loud enough for Sam to hear me.
"It's not your fault." He whispers.
I pull back and sigh, loudly, unable to stop it. "I wish I could still read your mind. I could use some of those complimentary thoughts."
Sam kisses my forehead. "I'll tell you all about what I'm thinking later, okay?" I nod. He turns to Bobby, hands going into his pockets. "So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here, or what?"
"Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarm's ground zero." Bobby says walking toward the front door of the farmhouse.
Dean pops a piece of gum into his mouth to deal with his early-morning burger breath and knocks on the door. "Candygram!" He shouts. No one answers, so Dean pulls out his lock pick equipment and the rest of us pull our guns. As soon as the door opens, we're hit with a wall of stench, the smell of decay causing us to flinch and cover our noses.
"That's awful." Sam says quietly.
"That so can't be a good sign."
I find the sitting room first, gagging as I look at the family of desiccated corpses watching 'Dallas', though the television probably wasn't on 'Dallas' when they died. Sam and Dean burst into the room and recoil at the smell. Bobby's next. No one knows what happened here. Dean tells us to check for sulfur, then stops us with a whistle to gesture at us, let us know he saw something outside. He walks out to the porch and Bobby and I follow around the other side of the house. We watch as Dean gets beat down with the butt of a shotgun by a semi-familiar face.
"Issac? Tamara?" Bobby says, rushing forward.
"Bobby! What the hell are you doing here?" Tamara's accent makes the connection in my head and I rush forward.
"I could ask the same." Bobby responds.
"Tamara!" I smile at her.
"Y/n! Look at you! You were just a wee thing last I saw you!"
"I was eighteen, that's not so wee." I say.
"Sixteen." Sam corrects, quietly, walking up behind me. Shit. Sometimes even I forget Dad and I added two years to my age.
"Heya, Bobby. Hey, y/n." Issac greets.
"Hello." Dean raises an arm and pitifully waves for attention. "Bleeding here." I reach out and grab his hand, pulling him up off the porch easily. He discretely rubs his hand against his jeans like he's trying to rid himself of my cooties. I sigh and retreat away from him before he sees the devastation in my eyes. I turn the corner of the house and Sam is almost instantly upon me.
"Hey. You okay?"
"I don't need to be a mind reader to know what he's thinking. He still blames me."
"He's wrong." Sam insists.
"Yeah. So you keep saying." I take a deep breath. "It's fine. More important things. I'm gonna go find a pay phone and... call in the bodies." I smile tightly and rush away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've kinda dissociated since we've been at Tamara and Issac's place. I feel like I'm being watched. I feel like I need to kill something. I feel like I need a drink. I come back to myself as Dean walks into the room with his phone up to his ear. "Well, Jenny, if you look as pretty as you sound, I'd love to have an... appletini. Yeah. Call you." He hangs up and looks around the room. "That was the coroner's tech."
"And?" Sam asks.
"Get this. That whole family, cause of death? Dehydration and starvation. There's no signs of restraint, no violence, no struggle. They just sat down and never got up."
"But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away." Bobby says.
"Right. What is this, a demon attack?" Sam asks.
"If it is, it's not like anything I ever saw, and I've seen plenty." Bobby says.
"Well, what now?" Dean looks around the room. "What should we do?"
"Uh, we're not gonna do anything." Issac says.
"What do you mean?" Sam asks.
"You guys seem nice enough, but this ain't Scooby Doo and we don't play well with others." Issac answers.
"I think we'd cover a lot more ground if we all worked together." Sam says.
"No offense, but we're not teaming with the damn fools who let the Devil's Gate get open in the first place."
"No offense?" Dean says, his eyebrows scrunched together.
Heat fills my chest. "Were you there? They didn't let shit-"
"Y/n, don't." Sam says.
"No! This ain't on you. Jake opened that door! Jake killed you and opened that door and Bobby fuckin' closed it."
"They shoulda stopped Jake before it got open." Issac growls at me.
"Issac." Tamara admonishes. "Like you've never made a mistake."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Locked my keys in the car, turned my laundry pink. Never brought on the end of the world, though."
Dean chuckles, but he feels like he's about to throw a punch. I feel the same. "All right. That's enough."
"Guys, this isn't helping. Dean-"
"Look, there are a couple hundred more demons out there now. We don't know where they are, when they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us. On all of us." Issac says. Tamara grabs his arm and pulls him away.
"Okay, that's enough testosterone for now." She says, leaving the room.
I shake my head and stomp out of the house. I bite my lip and start walking. I don't know where I'm walking, but I'm completely certain I'm not going back to Tamara and Issac's place. I make it to the mains of Lincoln before I decide to hit a bar. I drop onto a stool and order a bourbon. The bartender gives me a look that says he knows I'm in a bad place, but he doesn't ask. I down it quickly and hold up my hand for another. "You'll never be able to stop this alone, you know."
"I'm not alone." I turn to the owner of the accented voice. "And stop what?" I gawk a little at the attractive older man. He looks to be about forty-five, maybe fifty, with striking hazel-gold eyes. He's wearing a designer suit, Armani or something. He obviously catches my stare because his lips twist into a smug smirk.
"Well, you look alone, darling." He leans closer to me and I get a whiff of a musky cologne, strong scotch whiskey and just a hint of rotten eggs. "Sitting here drinking while your boyfriends try to figure out what happened in that farmhouse."
"I don't have boyfriends." I smirk and lean away from him. "And I bet you could tell me what happened in that farmhouse, couldn't you?"
"I could. Do you want that?"
"And why would you do that? Why would you give me information, when I know what you are?"
"You don't know the half of what I am, pet." He smirks. "But the most important thing that I am is someone who was just fine with the old status quo. I'm someone who doesn't need or want a bunch of bloody ancients muckin' about in my territory, and I'm someone who can help you win the bloody war Azazel brought on."
"Listen to you sayin' 'someone' like you're a people. It's adorable." I take a drink of bourbon and lick it from my lips. I study its face, looking for... something. "How could you possibly help me win the war?"
"I can give you your powers back, teach you control. You can use your little gifts to save people, put things back the right way. The End of the World isn't very good for sales, I'm sure you understand."
I nod. "So, you're a crossroads demon."
"Crowley. King of the crossroads demons." His eyes fill in with red as he extends his hand. I take it, my eyes not leaving his... its eyes. Not a man. It's an 'it'.
"How can you give them back? The Yellow-Eyed Demon is dead." I won't admit to this creature that I miss the powers, that I miss knowing what people are thinking. That I was getting used to it, that I was hoping to get stronger.
"He's obviously not the only demon who knows how to tap into what you've got inside you, darling. Now, do you know how he turned you and all his special children into special children?"
I lick my lips and drop its hand. Bobby filled me in on this. "Demon blood. I was force-fed it as a baby."
"Right." It nods, its eyes regain the green-gold quality of its vessel. "Every bit of what made you extraordinary imparted in a few drops of blood."
"You obviously don't know what makes me extraordinary, then." I respond.
He smiles. It's not a smirk. It's a real, honest smile. "You're wrong about that. I know exactly what makes you extraordinary. And how sexy you can make a word like 'daddy' is only a small part." I look away from him. I don't know how he knows about that, but I'm not going to comment. "Your dedication to the job is paramount. You want to help people. I can help you help people."
"And what, you just need my soul?" I roll my eyes.
"No. Not your soul. I just need you to have a drink." He produces a glass vial with a dark red liquid in it.
"Is that-"
"Yes. It's mine, if that helps."
"Not much." I swallow and reach out to grab the vial. "I don't... What am I supposed to do with this?"
"You're not stupid, y/n." His fingertips release the glass and slide across my wrist. "A few drops gave you your gifts, what do you think a few more would do for you?"
I look down at his hand on me and shake my head. "You'll do well to keep your hands to yourself, Crowley, King of the Crossroads. Because I'm not stupid and I'm not going to be seduced by a demon."
He smirks and pulls his hand away, conjuring a burn phone and setting it on the top of the bar. "My number's the only one in there. Call when you decide to drink that. I'll work you through it."
I tuck the vial in my pocket and swivel on the bar stool until I'm looking straight at him. "And the family in the farmhouse?"
"Ah, yes. Check Binsfeld's Classification of Demons. Under 'S'." The demon says before disappearing. I immediately pull out a pen and write down 'Binsfeld's Demons- S' on a cocktail napkin. The vial feels heavy in my pocket as I throw down money on the counter and leave the bar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I get a motel room and pour salt lines along the door and windows. I pull out the laptop I swiped from the room next door with the passed out businessman on the bed and find a digitized copy of Binsfeld's Classification of Demons after hacking a student sign-in for Harvard. I scroll to the S section and just past the demon Samhain, which just gives me more reason to hate Halloween, I see it. The Seven Sins. Not just sins, but actual demons which specialize in inspiring their specific sin. The farmers, they were just too lazy to get up and feed themselves, get water. Sloth's touch.
I read the entire entry three times before I sigh and shut the laptop. I flop face-down onto the bed and groan as the vial in my pocket digs into my leg. I pull it out of my pocket and slam it down on the side table, trying to ignore it and fall asleep, but my eyes keep opening and focusing on the bottle. I close them, tell myself it's stupid to even entertain the idea of drinking blood, especially demon blood, but after about twenty minutes I sit up and swipe the vial off of the table. I twist it, twirling it between my fingers, watching the dark red liquid move in the bottle, like a wave of dark syrup.
I know I shouldn't do it. I'm not stupid. Even the demon said I'm not stupid. But sometimes I make really stupid decisions.
As I twist open the top of the bottle, I tell myself that it's just scientific curiosity. That the demon put forth a hypothesis of what drinking his blood would do for me and I'm just testing to see if he was right. It's a lie. I know it's a lie. The blood is calling to me. I don't know if it's that I know it can give me back my gifts or the blood I've had in me my whole life yearning to be joined with the blood in the vial, but I know I need to taste it. Just a taste.
I dab a drop of blood onto my left index finger and stare at it. It's lighter in color outside of the bottle. I lick my lips and bring my hand up to sniff at the blood drop. It smells like iron and sulfur, which is exactly what I was expecting. "This is stupid." I go to wipe the blood off on my jeans, but I stop myself. "Fuck." I detour the finger up to my mouth and lick the blood off. It takes a few minutes to kick in, but when it does, I go into shivers. My body is suddenly burning hot and the motel room feels freezing cold. On the back of the sudden fever and my heart pounding in my ears, I notice that I can feel everything. Things I never noticed before, like the scratchy blanket I was lying under that I can feel every fiber of the fabric, the vibrations from the light in the lamp on the bedside table, the weight of the denim of my jeans. "Oh, my god." I whine.
The phone in my pocket goes off and I flip it open. "You were supposed to call me, Baby Girl." The demon's voice sends a shiver through my entire body and it's not because of the fever. My body reacts to the nickname conjuring up images of John in my head and I whimper. "I'm right outside your motel, sweetheart. Open the door."
"There's salt." I mutter.
"Then, move it. Don't you want me to help you, Baby Girl?"
I whine. "Don't call me that."
"You like it. Come on, pet, I can't help you through the phone."
"I don't even wanna move." I admit, sitting up.
"How much did you have, y/n?"
I take a deep breath and shuffle across the carpet to open the door. I run my boot across the salt line. "I had one... just a... just one drop." I move out of the way and he steps inside. It. It steps inside. Fuck, why did I just let it in?
"One drop, just to see what it does?" He places his hands on my hips and walks me backwards to the bed. I look into his vessel's eyes, breathing heavily. His fingertips feel warm, his body comfortable against mine. "Yore incredibly sensitive, aren't you? Thought a girl who's been drinking hard liquor since she was fifteen would have a bit more resistance."
"Liquor's not the same." I breathe out.
"Not at all." He smiles and pushes me to the bed. "Now, darling... tell me what I'm thinking."
I shake my head. "I don't know."
"Come on. It's only been a few days, Baby Girl. Yore not that rusty. What am I thinking?" I close my eyes as he climbs onto the bed with me, heavy hand running up under my shirt and rubbing his thumb in sweeping motions across my abs. An image forms in my mind. It's cloudy, grey around the edges, but it makes me moan when it comes into focus. Crowley with his face between my thighs, my wrists tied to the headboard above my head, me writhing under him. "That's a good girl. You know exactly what I'm thinkin', don't you?"
"No." I'm not denying that I know what he's thinking. I'm denying him. I grab his wrist and stop his hand in its upward movement. "You're... you're a demon."
"And you're high on my blood. Do you know how good it'd feel for you?" He leans down over me, brushes his lips over mine. "I can make you feel amazing."
"You're supposed to be helping me, not trying to fuck me." I whisper, closing my eyes as more images pour into my brain, each more raunchy that the last.
"I can do both." He growls against my mouth, pressing his lips harshly into mine. It feels good. I whine into him. He grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it off. I shiver in the cold of the room, but he immediately covers me with his warm body. He pushes my legs apart and settles between them, runs his tongue along my neck. "I'll fuck you until you come down from the blood and then we'll work on your powers." My phone goes off and it jolts me enough to bring me back to the real world, back to who I really am. I push the demon off of me and reach out my hand, smiling softly as my shirt flies into my hand.
"You're a demon." I slide the shirt over my head and pull my phone out. "I'm not fucking you." I check my text and smile. It's Sam. He's worried about me. I text to let him know I'm fine, that I got a motel and I'll track him down tomorrow. Then I turn to Crowley. "Start teaching, or I get the salt."
"More resistance than I thought you had." He grumbles, rolling off the bed. "Come on. Stand up. We've got a lot to do."
Supernatural Tags- @mrswhozeewhatsis, @letsby, @adoptdontshoppets
99 notes · View notes