#like he just ‘hang on Jonathan I need to go do a horse race in America I’ll come back in a bit’

[sp0o0kylights]

There were a lot of things Mike hated in life.

The demogorgon, and how it had essentially destroyed his life.

 Brenner, and the madhouse laboratory El had survived. 

How each and every one of his friends now did something weird--were weird, because flashing lights or fireworks or some stupid tune a toy horse played dragged up memories that made their eyes flat and faces hollow. 

Most of all though, Mike hated how much they relied on Steve.

There was no reason he should be the person to call when it started pouring and no one wanted to bike home from AV. 

Steve wasn’t Nancy, or Jonathan, or a parent--he wasn’t even dating anyone related to any of the Party anymore so what excuse did he have to keep hanging around? 

(Even if Jonathan was always working, and Nancy was always busy with some club or homework, and everyone’s parents all seemed to be in a race of who could get back to normal the fastest…) 

They should at least try to get a hold of other people, instead of constantly going to Steve first.

“Why?” Dusitn had scoffed at him the last time this had happened, feeding quarters into a phone and staring at Mike like he was the one being unreasonable. “I’m not gonna waste money just to hear your sister tell us no again when we all know Steve will do it.” 

Which was perhaps the most infuriating part of it all.

That Steve would do it. 

Show up and help them, even if he bitched the whole time. 

Hell, Steve Harrington knew more about Mike’s life offhand than Nancy did, and that made him want to punch a wall more days than it didn’t. Why the hell was Steve so involved? 

It was stupid. 

Weird, even! They weren’t friends, (even if Dustin and Max and El of all people said the opposite) he wasn’t being paid to babysit, (Mike had double checked; going round to ask Ma Henderson and Mrs. Sinclair, only to get an earful of how wonderful Steve was from both.) he had no reason to hang around! 

It didn’t make sense that Steve could be harassed into picking them up from school. 

Would take them to get ice cream, or hand over extra quarters for the arcade. He even gave out advice like some kind of--brother that Mike had never wanted. 

Above all?

Mike hated that when he needed someone, the number he punched in on automatic was Steve’s.

“I need you to come get me.” He said into the receiver, mad at himself and the world, but mostly mad that beyond the normal amount of squawking Steve did, he shut up and came. 

Drove up in his rich boy car, stepping out and herding Mike into it like the rain hadn’t already seeped into his bones. 

“You wanna tell me why you snuck into a bar two towns over?” Steve asked, long after Mike had slung himself into the passenger seat, arms crossed defensively over his chest.

“No.” 

One of Steve’s hands went right to his hair, running through it before adjusting the mess he’d just made. 

It was a nervous habit, and Mike hated that he knew that too. 

“Okay, well.” Steve’s hand fell back to the steering wheel, clenching tight around it. “Next time you want to do something dumb could you at least come talk to me about it beforehand?”

“What the hell would that do?” Mike bitched, staring firmly out of the window. 

“Not waste my gas for starters.” Steve bitched right back. “But I dunno man, we could have taken some bats and gone and wailed on cars in the junkyard and talked or some shit, not--whatever this all was.”

‘This all’ was accompanied by a wave of his hand, indicating not just the bar Mike had been standing in front of, but his general sopping wet state. 

“You’d actually go to the junkyard with me?” Mike challenged, doubtful. 

Steve made a face. “Did you lose your hearing in there? I just said--.” 

“Why?” Mike interrupted. “Why the fuck would you come out with me?”

Matching his entire aggressive tone, Steve said; “Because it’s better than trying to sneak into the one local gay bar when you’re barely fourteen, Michael.” 

And that? 

Steve being oddly aware of shit he really shouldn’t have?

Mike hated that too. 

“You knew what the bar was?” He asked, his voice coming out much smaller than he intended. 

“Everyone knows what that bar is, except it’s more of a biker bar than a gay bar.” Steve shot back--which did actually explain about ten different questions Mike had about the place. “Also, language you little shit.” 

Under his breath, Steve continued in a muttered; “I swear I’m going to start carrying around soap.”

“You cuss more than we do.” Mike responded, and if his own voice was a little strangled as he fought back the sudden swell of tears, then that was between him and God. 

He was not crying in front of Steve Harrington, he outright refused. 

“The point I’m making is that there are way better bars to sneak into. That one’s not nearly as welcoming as people make it out to be, probably because they’re sick of all the rumors.” 

Steve seemed to realize what he was implying because he quickly added; “Not that you should be sneaking into any bars at all!” 

“You’re not my mom.” Mike’s voice turned wet as he lost his battle with his throat, voice cracking as he failed to choke the tears back.  

“No shit Wheeler.”  Steve said, and at least he was good enough not to call attention to Mike’s crying. 

If he had, Mike was pretty sure he’d just up and die of embarrassment, right there. 

“I don’t get why you care.” He muttered, angrily swiping at his eyes. 

“I didn’t keep you alive this long just so you could die of something stupid.” Steve countered easily.

Which was kinda fair, if you thought about it.

Mike very much did not want to think about it. 

Any of it.

Ever. 

“Are you gonna tell my parents?” He asked after a painfully long moment. 

Long enough that Steve had begun fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station as they drove back that wasn’t wailing country or gospel music. 

“I’m not a narc, so no.”  

“Not about the bar.”  

Now Steve just looked confused. 

Probably because he was, because he was without a doubt the stupidest almost adult Mike knew. 

(Not that he could say that out loud--last time he had, Max had made one of her pissy faces and then El got mad because Max was, which led to a break up, which led to Mike having to beg his way back into his girlfriend’s good graces while explaining that he hadn’t meant it like that.

“How did you mean it then?” Max demanded, and Mike wasn’t sure how he managed to dodge that entire conversation but he had, on grounds that untangling his own emotions regarding stupid Steve made him want to pull his hair out and scream.) 

“What about then?” 

 “You know. Don’t make me say it.” Mike absolutely didn’t plead, even if it did sort of, kind of, sound like pleading. 

Steve flicked his eyes away from the road to give one long, weird look at Mike. The same one he gave Dustin when he went off on a rant about Cerebro or Lucas when he started discussing the stats of different D&D weapons. 

Unlike those times, Steve’s face cleared. 

“Oh.” He said, blinking, and Mike could practically see the light bulb flash above his head.

Then; 

“Nah.” 

Mike waited.

And waited.

And kept waiting as Steve went back to searching through radio channels, as if that was the end of the conversation.

It couldn't be the end of this conversation.

Not when this was the part that was eating Mike alive.

He didn’t know if this was Steve repressing it on purpose or if this was what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life if he kept trying to figure his own head out, but either way, he knew he had a choice to make. 

To let the unspoken part of today die quietly. Go unsaid, and remain unsaid, for all eternity--or he could let it out. 

Shove the “gay” part of “gay bar” in Steve’s stupid, jock face. 

Make him acknowledge it, even if it got Mike kicked out of the car, and who cared if it did? 

Steve wasn’t the person who should have picked him up anyway. 

The anger climbed higher and higher in his chest, tears and rage combining until Mike spat it all out, furious. 

“You’re not going to ask if I’m gay?”  

Steve didn’t turn to face him, but Mike saw his eyebrow cocking anyway, given how he was currently glaring a hole in the side of the older teen’s head. 

“Do you want me to?” 

“No.” Mike bit out automatically. “Yes. I don’t know!” 

Steve’s hand found its way back into his hair. 

“Okay then.” Steve paused, clearly fishing for something to say. 

Gleefully, Mike watched him struggle. 

“Do you like guys?” He managed finally, looking like he was navigating a minefield more than just talking.

“I don’t know.” Mike stressed, sinking lower in his seat. “Why do you think I was at the bar? I was trying to figure it out!” 

“Honestly I assumed this was some sort of stupid dare--but!” Steve held up a finger, before Mike could interrupt, “But let’s--shit, hold on, I had a speech for this but I kinda wasn’t expecting to use it this soon. Um.”

“You have a speech for me being gay?”

“Not for you.” Steve rolled his eyes. “For--in general! It was an in general, just in case speech!” 

He rounded on Mike, for longer than the younger was comfortable with given Steve took his eyes off the road to do it. “Okay--you can like boobies, you can like, uh--not boobies, and that’s fine! It’s all totally fine!” 

“You are not making it sound like it’s fine.” Mike said, feeling like he’d been taken out by hearing Steve say the word “boobies.” 

Gross, gross, gross. 

“Well it is.” Steve said, in a tone that felt like he was two seconds from adding in a smarmy ‘so there!’ at the end. 

“But I’m dating El.” Mike whined, which really, was both the heart of the matter and the eye of the storm that had been growing in his head for months now. “I can’t be gay if I like her.” 

“Don’t you guys break up and get together like four times a week?”

“No, that's Max and Lucas, El and I are stable.” Mike scoffed. “Or we--we were stable.” 

Before he started to have thoughts about people that weren't his girlfriend. 

Or women.

“Stable for being in middle school, sure.” Steve snorted. “You don’t just have to like one or the other you know. You can like dudes and chicks at the same time.”

Which Mike did not know, on account of being fourteen. 

He did his absolute damndest not to show that realization, instead adding that to the list of reasons why he hated Steve Harrington too.

Steve shouldn't be the one teaching him about who you could like!

“The point is that who you end up loving isn’t a problem.” Steve finally looked back to the road. “Other people might be an issue, and those people we can punch in the face so long as the cops aren’t looking, which isn’t part of the speech so let’s not tell people I said that part, but whatever you do choose, there’s nothing wrong with you.” 

Steve’s voice went firm, as he apparently recalled his speech or something close enough to it because his next words sounded a little rehearsed. “You have people who are here for you, no matter what. Okay?” 

Oh God, Mike was crying again. 

He wanted to punch Steve in his stupid face.

Wanted to hold onto the fury he'd built inside himself. Thrash around, throw himself out of the car, get away from the emotions that felt too big for his chest to contain. 

Instead he felt it all break on Steve's acceptance. On word's he didn't know he needed to hear until they'd been spoken, and sniffed out a quiet; “Okay.” 

Steve of course had to take it too far by reaching over and patting his knee, which they both regretted judging by how quickly Steve took his hand back and the face Mike made at his hand--but it…

It was appreciated, even amongst all Mike's rage.

Steve was appreciated. 

Not that Mike would ever, on pain of death, tell him that. 

Neither said a word for a while, Steve finally landing on a radio that was playing some Top 40 hit, Tears for Fears singing about ruling the world while Mike found himself trying to rebuild his own once again, tired of it having shattered so many times over. 

At least he finally felt better, even if he refused to admit Steve was the reason for it. 

He wasn’t quite done though.

 There was a piece Steve had skipped over, that Mike felt was critically important, if only because it was partly the reason he was having thoughts about being gay in the first place. 

He had to know if Steve saw it too. 

That it wasn’t just him and his stupid head, making up things that weren’t there. 

“Hey Steve?” 

“Yeah?”

“Who was the speech for?” 

Steve sighed. 

“Rule one of the whole queer thing Wheeler, you don’t out other people.” 

Like there were written rules or something.

(Maybe there were, it wasn't like Mike knew.)

“Was it Will?” Mike asked, and pretended like he didn’t desperately want the answer to be yes. 

 Steve didn’t say a thing, but the fact he nearly took the car off the road was a pretty solid answer in itself. 

“We’re not playing guessing games about other people’s sexualites!” He yelped, hands gripping the steering wheel as Mike felt a wave of relief crash through him. 

Will was--maybe, possibly, also--queer too. 

Which didn’t make this any better but it--wasn’t the not preferred outcome, either. 

(It wasn’t just Mike struggling alone, trying to figure out if his best friend wanted to be more than that, if El was breaking up with him and more and more because she wanted to be less than a girlfriend, if things were changing and he would have no one--) 

“I’m not out here picking Will up from a gay bar dipshit, I’m picking you up, and this is your reminder that next time, you should just come talk to me!” Steve ranted. 

Mike snorted.

He absolutely hated Steve Harrington, but--

“Fine.” He said, talking so low he could barely be heard. “I will.”

--maybe Mike did have someone in his corner after all. 

Even if it was just Steve. 

xXx

Bonus: 

“Between you and me, that kid is gayer than a two dollar bill.” 

“Wow Robin,” Steve teased, “Isn’t that like, a slur or whatever?” 

He snickered when she rolled her eyes and threw a roll of stickers his way. 

“I’m just saying. Did you see the way he was looking at you when you were showing off your stupid biceps?” Robin said, nudging her shoulder into Steve’s. “Will’s gonna have a rude awakening later if he hasn’t already.” 

Steve nudged her back, but kept his gaze on the Party as they trooped their way from Family Video to the arcade next door, the realization that they now had connections for free rentals making them downright gleeful. 

Will was the last one in, and Steve watched him hurry so as to not be left behind. 

He didn’t like to worry about the dipshits, but Robin was just putting voice to a thought Steve knew he wasn’t the first person to have.

And if he noticed it, then it didn't exactly bode well as being kept a secret. 

“Should we like…talk to him about that?” He asked after a long moment, turning to face Robin.

“Us?” She pointed at herself, before turning her finger on Steve. “Why us?” 

“Well you’re into girls.” He gave her a pointed look, glad that the store was empty of everyone but them so he could actually voice all this. “And I’m fine with it.”

“Yeah I’m sure he wants to know you’re fine with it.” Robin taunted, but she had her thinking face on, eyes out to the middle distance. “I barely know him. You barely know him--he’s the quietest out of all your kids.”

“They’re not my kids.” Steve argued automatically. “They're like a weird cross between shitty siblings and that kid in your class who never leaves you alone.” 

A fact Steve no longer took for granted, even if he made it sound like the worst thing ever.

“I just think it’d be nice if he knew that he had people in his corner, you know? Who supported him and shit.” 

“Steve, you compared my crush to a muppet, that wasn’t supportive.” Robin countered, but it too was on automatic. 

Softer she admitted; “You’re right though. If I had known other queer people, if I had known people would accept me...it would have made things a lot easier.”

A very long pause, in which both of them stewed for a moment, before Robin abruptly slapped her hand down on the table.

“Okay, you got me. We're doing it, and I'm making us a speech.”

“A speech?” 

“Yes dingus, a speech. I know you, you’re terrible when you’re put on the spot with this kinda thing, and trust me with things like this the moment will be spontaneous.”

“It’s Will, how spontaneous can it be?” Steve challenged back. “Getting a dinner order out of him is a chore.” 

“Stop whining and hand me that notepad. Im telling you its gonna happen when you least expect it and then you're gonna thank me later.”

“It better not happen without you.”  Steve sighed, but passed the notepad over.

God the things he did for those stupid kids. 

Bonus x2

Steve would later go on to use the speech on himself, in a gas station bathroom mirror, eyes wide and freaked out after Eddie Munson called him Big Boy in a van they stole, while Robin snickered behind him. 

He would turn on her, snapping that she; “Help me with this dammit!” 

In return she’d remind him that Tammy might sing like a muppet but Eddie  was the guy who stepped on lunches while giving speeches at lunch and sticking his tongue out, and “Really Steve, I think I won best gay awakening, here.” 

Which would promptly start an argument regarding how it wasn’t a competition, which would continue for another fifteen or so odd years before finding its way as a reference into both of their speeches as each other’s best man. 

Nancy and Eddie wouldn’t get it at either wedding, but Mike would.

#Mike POV for most of it #Mike is one of Steve's kids #and they both hate that lmao #pre steddie (its at the end) #this has both #mentions of #el/mike #and #byler #Mike's going through a sexuality crisis anyway #period appropriate language #Ronance mention #lumax mention #mike sneaks into a gay bar #that isnt a gay bar lol #let see what else #coming out #acceptance #a lot of sass #Title is Up and Down that Road #I love writing Steve like hes that older teen in the goonies #just suddenly saddled with kids while trying to flirt lol

[dr-piss-thief-phd]

Me: *still hasn’t finished part 5*

Also me: *still hasn’t finished part 6*

Still also me: TIME TO READ ABOUT THE HORSIE JOJO

#random ramblings #JJBA #steel ball run #It is 3am I am having so much fun #gyro was so sexy until I realised the squares on his face are his beard and??? dude??? wtf??? #also DIO IS HERE??? HELLO MY BOY??? #he’s not been in much of what I’ve read so far but #MY BOYYYY #he’s been more of a nuisance than evil so far :/ #also yeah yeah I know different universes blah blah he’s not THE Dio #imagine if it was though agahshdjdkal #like he just ‘hang on Jonathan I need to go do a horse race in America I’ll come back in a bit’

[lux-i-fer]

Believer of Faith and Mortality

Ao3 link

Synopsis: Lucifer and Chloe's victim shouldn't be alive, but the fact that he's currently alive and giving a statement says otherwise. When more and more miracle cases begin popping up, Lucifer believes that their lives aren't being spared out of the goodness of his Father's heart. The knock at the door only proves his theory.

Rating: M

Notes: HAHA HEYYYY! Guess who got the chapter out in under a year?? My most sincere apologies that this fic has been updating so slowly, I am just at that time in my life where everything requires my attention all at once and all the time. Never fear, I have not forgotten about this fic ;) This is unbetaed because in the year of our lord 2021, I have lost all hope in producing properly edited work.

Chapter Number: 6

For a few heavy seconds, the entire world shrank down to fit solely into Lucifer’s palm. The silence was almost suffocating as Amenadiel, Lucifer, and John stared at the silver phlegm dripping from Lucifer’s outstretched hand. Even outside of the harsh California sunlight, it still looked metallic and even glimmered like the chrome finishings on his Corvette. John found it almost blinding to look at directly, but there was a nagging feeling inside of him that demanded that he continue to look. The first time he’d seen it on Lucifer’s handkerchief, he’d only gotten a mere glance before Lucifer had hurriedly tucked it out of sight. Perhaps for him it was also supposed to be out of mind, but not for John. John was transfixed.

Looking at it now, he realized that it wasn’t really silver colored. Even though he never tore his eyes from it, it seemed to shift to a different color at the blink of an eye, changing so fast that it blurred together into one solid gray mass. And he found that it wasn't so much as metallic as it was almost lit by a soft inner light. John leaned forward, curious to see if there truly was something there or if he was imagining it.

A hand caught his shoulder and then the rest of the world seemed to snap back into focus. John blinked and when he opened his eyes, Amenadiel stood between him and Lucifer.

“Did you hear anything I just said to you?” he asked. There was a heavy set of wrinkles above his brow that hadn’t been there at the start of their visit.

John blinked again. He felt a little dazed, and found that he couldn’t quite focus in on the rest of Amenadiel’s face. “No?” His voice came out slow and slurred.

Amenadiel frowned. “Okay, why don’t you--” he walked the both of them backwards out of the kitchen until the backs of John’s legs knocked against the edge of a chair, “sit down.”

John did as he was told and then put his head in his hands. He had a roaring headache.

“So,” he heard Amenadiel say. “As I said before, will someone please tell me what is going on?”

“Apparently zombies,” John muttered, massaging the space between his eyes.

“Well, you’re not actual zombies,” Lucifer corrected. “You’re more...undead than anything. If I didn’t know better I’d say that you lot were resurrected, but our Father does not lower himself to dabble in those sorts of miracles anymore.” Even with his eyes closed, John could practically feel the eye roll in his voice.

“No, I meant how long has this been going on.” John looked up to find Amenadiel gesturing to the silver liquid that Lucifer was trying in vain to mop up with his handkerchief.

Lucifer shook his head. “Not long. Just today. Surely it’s nothing.”

Amenadiel looked to John for confirmation.

John shrugged. “I’ve only been here a day, but I guess it lines up? He coughed some of it up on our way here.”

Amenadiel nodded solemnly, while Lucifer shot him a dirty look, the unspoken accusation of traitor hanging in the air. “It’s not that big a deal,” he sniffed. “Whatever it is, surely it’ll sort itself out. There’s no need to coddle me, Amenadiel, my mortality stint ended ages ago.”

John stilled. “Your what?”

Lucifer waved him off, flicking a few silver droplets in his direction. One managed to hit Amenadiel in the chest and his face crumpled up in disgust. “Luci, do everyone else a favor and wash your hands. For all we know this could be contagious.”

John silently agreed. As if the headache wasn’t already making him nauseous, now he was picturing Lucifer as some sort of supernatural Typhoid Mary. Even though he’d seen some pretty nasty stuff during his time as a beat cop, John had always been a bit of a hypochondriac. Not in any serious sense, but realizing that Lucifer could potentially be hacking up the divine equivalent of a ball of mucus and phlegm definitely made his stomach twist.

Lucifer scoffed, but surprisingly listened to his brother. John sent a silent thanks to God, but stopped halfway through his prayer when he realized that he just may be better off directing it at Amenadiel instead. If Lucifer was to be believed, which John still had a healthy amount of skepticism for, Nietzsche had been right. In all the ways that mattered, God was as good as dead. Between the headache and the whole coming back to life thing, John really didn’t want to unpack that existential crisis right now.

“Is that a thing?” he asked instead. “Can you guys get the celestial flu or something?”

Lucifer sighed. “Don’t be silly, Jonathan. Angels can’t get sick.”

“Well clearly you are, so that can’t be entirely true.”

“John has a point, Luci. Whatever this is, it shouldn’t be happening.” Amenadiel turned to John. “And whatever is going on with souls crossing back over the threshold shouldn’t be happening either. It would be foolish to assume that these two events coinciding is a mere coincidence. I’d like to hear more about how you got back to Earth, John. I have a feeling that Luci has omitted some key details.”

At that, Lucifer tightened his hand around his glass of whiskey. At some point he’d poured himself glass number four, making John certain that he would be DD’ing the Devil himself back to Chloe’s apartment later.

“I don’t think I’m the best one to ask about details.” The image of Lucifer’s wrist covered in “souvenirs” flashed through John’s mind. “If anything, we were coming to you for some answers. All I know is that one second I’m in Limbo with this jackass,” he jerked a thumb in Lucifer’s direction, “and the next my daughter is telling me that I’ve been dead for nearly twenty years.”

“Limbo?” Amenadiel asked incredulously. “What ever were you doing there? Human souls are not supposed to go there.”

“Well I did. Lucifer told me that others go there too.”

Amenadiel looked at Lucifer.

“Times have changed, brother. Humans have more fight in them now, and Azrael has a shorter temper than she used to. Humans still condemn themselves to their respective eternities, but if they are particularly wily and combative when Azrael sees them off, sometimes she doesn’t see the job through. Usually they make it where they need to go without her guidance, but occasionally they do not. Those who don’t end up in Limbo.” Lucifer inclined his head in John’s direction, as if to give an example.

Amenadiel didn’t look convinced. “How could John have been in Limbo if he recalls seeing you? How are you certain that it wasn’t Hell?”

“It wasn’t Hell,” Lucifer said sharply, catching both Amenadiel and John off guard. John wasn’t sure what had just happened, but whatever Amenadiel had implied was obviously a touchy subject.

Lucifer stared at them for a moment, dark eyes unblinking and tracking their reactions like a predator. Then he sighed, and his shoulders relaxed, as if a great weight had dragged them down. His fingers worried his cufflinks again.

“Hell isn’t my only domain. Technically Dad also cursed me with that Dad-forsaken wasteland, but I hardly visited. It was a nice getaway when Hell became too much to bear, but it was just as undesirable in different ways.” Lucifer paused then. His eyes had grown distant, and his jaw was set. His hands flitted back to his glass.

“Do you remember our fallen brethren?” he said, his voice small.

Amenadiel’s brow furrowed at the subject change. “Of course, Luci.”

Lucifer continued to stare into his glass. “I wasn’t the only one who changed after I Fell. Our siblings, the ones that eventually fell too, they burned just as I did. After I had managed to pull myself out of the Lake of Fire, I gave the ones whose minds hadn’t completely shattered during the process positions within my court. They were, after all, family.” He chuckled humorlessly.

“In light of my recent sins, nepotism seemed like the least of my concerns at that point. I was correct, to some degree. Over time, most of the fallen grew twisted and corrupted by sin and they became a new breed of demon--an archduke-- but there were others who never recovered from the Fall. Something within them had broken. They weren’t quite demons and they certainly were not angels, either. They were, for lack of better description, mutilated. Inside and out. Their minds were fractured and their bodies, well--”

Lucifer’s form contorted like a tv glitch. Where his face should have been was replaced with something scarred and horrifying. It vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, but it didn’t matter because John had seen. Lucifer’s regular face was back, but John saw it with new clarity. Even before, he would freely admit that Lucifer was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, but it was a different beauty now. Now the sculpted angles of his face looked cruel and alien.

He didn’t think there were words to describe the primal sense of fear he had felt upon seeing it. It was like an echo of the morning’s conversation, when he’d discovered the name of the angel that had guided him through Limbo. He wanted to bolt like a spooked horse and run and run until he was certain that Lucifer would never find him. John’s heart raced, but his fear kept him rooted in his chair. He knew he should calm down. He had to calm down. His head felt like it was going to explode. John groaned and put his head back in his hands.

“Jonathan.”

John’s head snapped back up, bringing a wave of dizziness along with it. His heart seized when he realized that Lucifer was staring straight at him. The afterimage of his burned face lingered in John’s mind’s eye, and it was almost impossible for him to look at Lucifer at all.

“Do not go breaking on me now. The Detective will be very upset with me if you do.” His tone was blasé, but John saw a glint of uncertainty in his eye. Was Lucifer upset by his reaction? Why would the Devil even feel that way? John searched his shark-eyes for an answer.

Shockingly, Lucifer was the one to look away first. He returned his attention to his glass for a second time before continuing his explanation.

“The other fallen--the ones driven mad by the Fall-- were little more than rabid dogs, and they had developed an insatiable hunger for divine flesh. I suppose in human terms you would say they became cannibals, but such a human concept does not do their transformation justice. They were truly beastly, mere husks of angels and mutated beyond any demon.” John shuddered as he remembered the feeling of claws tracing along his cheek. Beastly indeed.

“So I locked them up,” Lucifer proclaimed. “I had the archdukes assist me in rounding them up and throwing them into Limbo. There they could live freely, on a separate plane away from Heaven and Hell, and out of my hair. I would only visit occasionally, like I said, for peace and quiet and to make sure that they were behaving.”

The room dissolved into silence once again. Amenadiel seemed to still be processing the information, and John was trying his best not to pass out from pain or fear. He still wasn’t sure which would eventually win out. He supposed by the way his skull felt like it was getting a forced lobotomy he would have to say it was going to be the pain.

Amenadiel finally cleared his throat. “So if I understand you correctly, you have been completely aware that these...creatures have been running amuck in Limbo, and yet you continue to let them roam, even though they're torturing innocent souls?”

In an instant, Lucifer slammed his hands onto the counter. John flinched as the sound ricocheted through his head like a massive bell. Amenadiel stood, unflinching, his face contorted into a stony mask. Lucifer’s eyes blazed and his lips curled back into a snarl. In that moment he looked every bit of the razor-sharp angel that had plucked John from the clutches of his cannibalistic siblings.

“Do not twist my words, Amenadiel, and do not criticize that which you do not know. I made the best of a bad hand. I dredged the land for lost souls as often as I could, but there was only so much I could do. And make no mistake, not all of the souls I found were innocent. I spared rapists and murderers from the clutches of our deranged siblings just as often as I pulled out martyred cops and saints. They all got the justice they deserved, and I carried it out like a good little son.”

At that, Lucifer turned on his heel and busied himself with something on the other side of the kitchen. Amenadiel simply watched his brother sulk and sighed heavily. “Luci,” he said to the Devil sulking in the kitchen. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to pin the blame on you. I jumped to conclusions.”

Lucifer turned back to face them, face drained of any prior anger. “Damn right you did.”

“But,” Amenadiel continued, pointing a finger at Lucifer. “My initial point still stands. It’s obvious that these creatures are dangerous, and yet they roam freely in Limbo. The last interaction you had with John was in the presence of these creatures. Isn’t there a possibility that your illness and John’s return to Earth are linked? They feed on the divine, and you said it yourself that none of the other resurrections occurred more than a day following their initial death.”

“That’s just it,” John chimed in. “Technically, it’s been twenty-or-so years since I saw Lucifer in Limbo. It may have only felt like a couple hours for me, but I imagine for him…” He waved his hand in lieu of finishing his thought.

“Yes, Jonathan is correct. In fact, I forgot about your existence entirely until you started threatening me over breakfast this morning.” Lucifer clapped his hands together. “At any rate, I think we can surmise that whatever this silver nonsense is, it is most certainly a fluke. If these events were truly connected then I would have gotten ill two decades ago. Nothing to do with Johnathan. Nothing to worry about. The resurrections on the other hand...” he shrugged.

“I don’t think we should discount the idea,” John cut in again. “Amenadiel’s right, it’s stupid to overlook the possibility. For now, I suppose we can put a pin in it, but it shouldn’t be off the table completely.”

Lucifer shot him an annoyed look. “Fine, whatever. Gang up on me, then.”

“Luci, we’re trying to help,” Amenadiel chided. Lucifer just rolled his eyes.

“The other bodies reeked of Heaven,” he started again, changing the subject. “I don’t know why or how, but they do, and it’s positively unbearable.”

John didn’t know Heaven even had a smell, but Amenadiel nodded like he understood. “I don’t have an answer or even an idea of how to explain that facet of this mystery. I would have to go to the Silver City to find out any more information.”

Lucifer considered Amenadiel’s proposition for a moment. He finished off the rest of his drink and glanced around the room. “Well, what are you waiting for?” he asked. “We’re in a time crunch, the sooner the better!” Dropping his empty glass into the sink, Lucifer swept out of the kitchen and towards the door. He turned back to face John and Amenadiel, a hand poised on the door handle. “Brother, I’ll be expecting your answer shortly.” Then he gestured to John. “Are you coming?”

John just sighed and hauled himself out of the chair. It took some effort to get his bearings, and when he finally did he stuck out his hand for Amenadiel to shake once more. Amenadiel inclined his head towards John and offered him a genuine smile.

“It was very nice to meet you, John Decker. Chloe speaks very highly of you. I can see now that her stories ring truthfully. You're a good man.”

John returned the smile, wincing as the pain in his head worsened with the movement. “Well I don’t know about that, but thank you. It was nice to meet you too.”

Before John could say anything else, Amenadiel dropped his hand and simply disappeared into thin air. John stared stupidly at the spot the angel had been occupying just a few moments before. He wasn’t sure what just happened, but at this point, he wasn’t sure he really wanted to find out.

Lucifer made an impatient sound from his place at the door. “Jonathan, you’re dallying. Are you going to stare off into space for the entire day?”

John shook himself and started towards the door. “Yeah, yeah, calm down I’m coming.”

When they reached the parking lot, John ignored the pain in his head and made a b-line for the driver’s side door, just barely sliding his body between it and Lucifer’s hand reaching for the handle.

“Give me your keys,” he said, making sure to use his no-bullshit cop voice.

“No.” Lucifer tried to wiggle his way around John, but John stood firm.

“You just drank four glasses of hard alcohol, I’m not letting you drive drunk through downtown LA.” Lucifer only continued to wiggle and try to squirm his way around John. Fuck, did he ever stop moving? John caught Lucifer’s arm as he tried to reach for something in the car. “Seriously, Lucifer, stop. I don’t care that you’re the Devil, you’re not driving.”

As weird as it felt to say that, there was truth in John’s words. His fear over seeing Lucifer’s other face had almost entirely dissipated.

“I’m not intoxicated, I have a supernatural metabolism!” He wiggled his arm out of John’s grasp and leaned around him to grab whatever it was that he had been trying to get from the car. When he found it, Lucifer handed the mystery item to John. It was a breathalyzer. Police issued. Most likely Chloe’s, John thought. When John did nothing with it, Lucifer pushed it and the hand holding it to John’s chest.

“Test me,” he said. “If I blow under the legal limit, I drive. If I blow over, which I won’t, you can drive. Deal?”

John sighed. He knew Lucifer was trying to compromise, but it didn’t change the fact that John’s patience had been steadily declining since Lucifer had decided to drag him all over the city. “Fine,” he said, exasperated and desperately wishing for somewhere to lie down.

He quickly set up the breathalyzer, his muscle memory taking over for him. Through some small miracle, Lucifer took the test without complaint. John had expected the meter to read at least an .09, but he was dumbfounded when he saw the 0.00 staring back at him.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled. He gave the breathalyzer a little shake just to make sure it had gotten the right reading. The numbers remained unchanged.

Lucifer smirked. “Can we get on with things, then?”

On a day when John’s head wasn’t killing him, he would have asked for a retest, just to ensure that Lucifer hadn’t somehow rigged it in his favor. But John was exhausted and it was almost impossible to fake something like a breathalyzer, especially one that he himself had administered, so he decided to just let it slide. After all, it wasn’t like he was in any better condition to drive.

Wordlessly, John stepped out of the way and climbed into the passenger seat. Lucifer gave a victorious whoop and threw himself into the car. Another twinge of pain drilled through John’s skull and he winced away from his companion.

Now that he could take a moment to just breathe, John could finally acknowledge that he didn’t feel like himself. He felt feverish. Or high. He’d never been high to know what that felt like though. His forehead felt like it was about to split open like an egg, and he brought a hand up to touch it, just to make sure that no cracks had started to form. When he felt nothing, he squeezed his eyes shut and flopped back against the seat, wondering why Lucifer hadn’t driven off yet.

“Lucifer, why aren’t we moving?” he muttered, politeness thrown by the wayside.

“Because you’re doing a rather dramatic imitation of a dying raccoon. I don’t know much about humans, but I know enough to recognize that this isn’t normal behavior.” John must be hallucinating because Lucifer’s voice almost sounded caring. He told him as such.

Lucifer scoffed and finally shifted the car into gear. They drove in silence for about ten minutes before he spoke again. “It is possible that your body isn’t as stable as we initially thought.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s either that or your soul is unstable. Either way, something, besides the obvious, is not right. I have a feeling this headache of yours has been triggered by some imbalance. Whether that imbalance is in your mind, body, soul, or if my Father has decided to restitch the fabric of the universe, I cannot say for certain. The easiest way to solve it would be to return you back to your prior state.”

“My prior state, as in dead, right?”

Lucifer hummed, a nonanswer. That was all John needed to know that he’d been correct.

“Hey, please tell me we’re going back to Chloe’s?” he said, changing the subject. “It would really make her upset if we’re not there when she gets off work.”

“Ah, actually we won’t beat the Detective home.”

John sat straight up, whipping his head towards Lucifer. “What do you mean we’re not making it home before Chloe?”

Lucifer waved his hand absently. “Well you’ve lived in LA, you know how the traffic can be. Plus, we wasted more time than I had anticipated at Amenadiel’s.”

John sputtered and checked his watch. “But it’s like four in the afternoon. Even with traffic it won’t take us that long to get to her apartment, and the LAPD doesn’t usually let cops off until five at the earliest.”

“And you’d be correct; however, we’re not going to the Detective’s apartment straight away.”

“Where could we possibly be going?” John threw his hands up in the air because the alternative was to wrap them around Lucifer’s throat to choke some sense into him.

“I planned on stopping to grab something to eat, since I’m famished and surely you are too, considering we skipped lunch and barely had breakfast. I figured if we aren’t going to beat the Detective home we might as well show up with something to soften the blow. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission, you know.”

Lucifer shrugged. “Besides, it’s likely that she won’t be in a good mood anyways. I missed a call from her around noon, and about an hour ago she texted me saying that she wasn’t feeling well and was thinking about taking off of work early.”

“Did you call her back?” John asked.

“Call who back?”

John stared at him, bewildered. “Chloe. You said she tried to call you. Is she okay?” John’s outrage had been building slowly over the course of the day, but it had skyrocketed more in the last ten minutes than it had in the past few hours. He’d kept himself in check so far, but he wasn’t sure if he could hold it back if Lucifer insisted on being this much of an idiot.

“Oh. No, I didn’t return her call. I’m sure she’s fine, though.”

Something in John’s chest shifted. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he exploded. “First, she tells you not to leave the house, and the first thing you do is immediately go against her wishes. Then, you don’t even have the audacity to return her phone call? You’re acting like such an asshole. I love Chloe and I respect her, but I don’t know what she sees in you. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t deserve her.”

Lucifer stilled. His fingers stopped on the steering wheel mid-drum, and if not for the wind whipping at his clothes, John would have thought that he was made of stone. A drop of fear slid down John’s spine as the weight of his actions settled into his bones. He may have gotten over the initial shock of seeing Lucifer’s true face, but that still didn’t change the fact that he’d just screamed at the Devil. No, not even that, he’d just screamed at Chloe’s boyfriend. Partner. Whatever he was. Someone important to her.

But just because Chloe cares for him didn’t mean that he didn’t deserve it , a voice whispered in the back of his head.

For a moment, John thought Lucifer wasn’t going to respond, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a poisonous smirk.

“You know, the Detective always told me that you were a soft spoken man,” Lucifer said.

John clenched his jaw at the perceived taunt. He turned to fully face Lucifer to give him another piece of his mind, but stopped mid-breath when he saw his face. Lucifer was purposely not looking John’s way, gaze fixed on the road ahead of them. He wasn’t really looking at the road, though, John thought. Even with half of his face obscured, John could tell that he was looking past it and into some distant memory instead, the same soft smile he’d given Chloe the night before playing across his lips. It was an abrupt change from how he’d been just a minute before: flippant, callous, ancient.

John deflated instantly. “I’m under a lot of stress right now,” he replied dumbly. It was all he could think to say.

Lucifer drove on silently. He still did not look John’s way.

“I know being stressed is no excuse for how short I’ve been with you today, but this is a lot for me to take in. I was never the atheist that Chloe turned out to be, but I was never truly a believer either. God, Heaven, you, it’s overwhelming. Not only that but Chloe--” John’s voice broke when he pictured his little girl as the twenty-something he left behind. He cleared his throat, trying to beat down the rising wave of emotion. “I didn’t get to help her move into her first apartment, I didn’t get to give her away at her wedding, I’ve never even gotten to hold my granddaughter,” he said quietly. “She grew up without me and I’m angry with myself for letting it happen. Seeing you with her, you being there for her when I couldn’t, it’s hard.”

That was the ugly feeling that had been sitting in John’s chest all day. That was the thing that couldn’t be packed away into a neat, little mental box to be dealt with at a later date. No matter how many times he’d tried to compartmentalize it, it always came back with full force. He knew it was the reason he was acting so caustically towards Lucifer, but it was as if his time in Limbo had tainted him in some way. It was almost as if simply brushing against those sinful beasts had made him into one too, teeming with new and nasty habits. The very thought left an equally nasty taste in his mouth.

He was used to dealing with jealousy. Penny had groupies and superfans just like any other actress of her day, and it had never bothered him before. He’d always trusted her. Now he found himself unable to bury the jealousy like he had before his death. It was embarrassing to admit. John had never wanted to be one of those overbearing and overprotective fathers.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, Lucifer navigating them through the maze of LA highways, and John lost in thought. The car coasted along an exit ramp, and as they entered back into the city, Lucifer broke the silence.

“My Father was not the kind of father that you were--that you are,” he amended. “He wasn’t kind or nurturing or any of those things. In fact, He was quite harsh with my siblings and me at times. The last conversation we had was the shouting match that eventually got me condemned to Hell.”

John wasn’t sure where Lucifer was going with his anecdote, but he remained silent, just as the other man had when he’d vented out his own feelings.

“Even in the midst of my anger, even when I would scream my throat raw yelling obscenities at Him from down below, some part of me still loved Him and wanted Him to love me in return. I hated that part of myself for centuries. He was my punisher and my jailer, and yet, I still couldn’t rid myself of the longing to be recognized as His son.

“You and the Detective don’t have that kind of relationship, obviously, but I say all of this so that you’ll understand and believe me when I say that the Detective loves you very much. There are very few things that you could do as a parent to make her stop caring for you. Not even death could sever her heart from yours. She has made her peace with your passing, and for both her sake and yours, Jonathan, you should too. If you don’t, your guilt will condemn you to Hell. That’s how the system works; humans choose their own fate, no Devilish temptation required.”

Lucifer grimaced at his poor attempt at a joke. Then, he glanced over at John, as if to gauge his reaction to something. “Amenadiel was correct; you’re a good man and a good father,” he said, eyes drifting back to the road. “You don’t deserve the torment that awaits you there.”

His words echoed in John’s mind. You don’t deserve the torment that awaits you there.

“I’m sorry that I said you don’t deserve Chloe. That was wrong of me,” John said. “It’s not up for me to decide.”

Lucifer made some noncommittal noise.

“We got off on the wrong foot, and I genuinely want to try and get to know you properly.” John hesitated. “If you’ll let me,” he added almost too quietly to be heard over the wind.

Lucifer sighed his back-breaking sigh. “I suppose we can start over.”

At his affirmation, the ugly feeling in his chest subsided. “Good,” he nodded. “I’m glad.”

“But,” Lucifer stuck a finger up in the air, as if preparing to give another monologue. “Just because we’re “starting over” doesn’t mean that I’ll completely stop tormenting you, Jonathan. You’re far too entertaining when your brain is on the verge of melting.”

Lucifer’s tone was light and any malice it may have contained before had been replaced by a vibrant playfulness. John couldn’t fight back the smile on his face.

“Well as Chloe’s father, it is my job to give you a hard time, so I’ve got some tormenting of my own to do too.”

Lucifer chuckled. “I’m the Devil, darling. I’d love to see you try to get under my skin.”

“I’ve got a few cards up my sleeve,” John said. “You never know what might happen.”

Lucifer didn’t respond to that, but a sly smile had plastered itself to his face.

He guided the Corvette down a maze of one-ways, and five minutes later, they slowed to a stop and parked on a quiet street. As John took in the sun-bleached storefronts and crumbling fire escapes, he thought nothing of their location. It was only when he caught sight of a beat up dirt green sign boasting Marisol’s Flower Arrangements that John realized where they were.

“I died at a corner store about a block from here,” he said numbly, all traces of playful teasing draining away. They’d parked too far down the block for John to properly see the store, but he didn’t need a visual, the image of it was burned in his memory.

Lucifer got out of the car. “I know. I parked a block away for a reason. The Detective always says that you shouldn’t let victims see their crime scenes unless they specifically ask to. Something to do with shock or trauma.”

“So why bring us here at all?” John asked, though he already knew the answer. He was just surprised that Chloe still came here after everything that had happened with the shooting.

“Like I said, the Detective doesn’t hate you,” Lucifer replied with a knowing look. He tossed John the car keys. “I’ll be back shortly.”

Lucifer was true to his word, returning only ten minutes later with a takeout bag. When he got back in the car, he traded it for his keys. As they drove back through the city, John tried his best to ignore the bag on his lap. The heat from the food radiated through the cheap paper and into his skin like a persistent house cat kneading at his lap. He hated to think what would happen when he opened the bag. These sandwiches hadn’t just been Chloe’s favorite, once they were his favorite too. He feared that when he would eventually unwrap the foil, he wouldn’t be able to stomach them.

Secretly, John was glad that Lucifer hadn’t expected him to walk into that corner store. He was almost certain if he had, he would have ended up on the tile floor retching at the smell of grease and sweat. He’d choked on that scent as he laid with a bullet in his chest. He could only hope that he wouldn’t choke on the food when it came time to eat it.

John thought back to a time when he had gagged on black tar and maggots instead of grease and blood. He swallowed hard; an echo of oil slid down the back of his throat. Or maybe it was crawling back up. Maybe John would wake the next morning and find that whatever horrors he’d tasted in Limbo were festering inside of him like he was John Hurt in Alien . He supposed if that were true, then it was only a matter of time before it tore through his chest. John shuddered. He absentmindedly touched the space over his heart, as if it too was going to burst out of his chest.

The rest of the drive back to Chloe’s apartment was silent, and neither he nor Lucifer seemed to mind. For John, it was even a welcome reprieve from the madness that was his resurrection and a quiet moment before the inevitable emotional explosion waiting for them at the apartment.

His suspicions were only confirmed when the Corvette pulled into the parking lot. Chloe already had the door open and was standing in the doorframe with her arms crossed. He couldn’t completely make out her features from where they were parked, but John was sure when they got close enough her brows would be scrunched up in an exact replica of Penny’s when she was upset.

Lucifer killed the engine and jumped out of the car. His hands immediately flitted to his cufflinks and then on to smoothing invisible lines in his jacket. At least he was smart enough to be a little nervous, John thought.

“Detective!” Lucifer said when they got to the door. “We bought dinner!”

Chloe’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “What happened to not leaving the apartment?” she demanded.

Lucifer snatched the takeout bag from John’s grasp and held it up as if it explained everything. By the way her eye twitched, Chloe was not impressed.

“Is that the only place you went?” she demanded again.

Lucifer thrust the takeout bag back into John’s hands and flashed her a nervous smile.

“No,” John said flatly.

“Lucifer!”

Lucifer only flapped his hands and slipped past Chloe into the apartment. “It was just to see Linda and Amenadiel!” he called over his shoulder.

Chloe took a deep breath. She sagged against the doorframe, her shoulders tight with tension. “Dad, wherever he dragged you to, I’m sorry. It’s my fault for thinking that Lucifer could stay still and listen for more than a half hour.” She said the last bit a little louder, casting her gaze over her shoulder and making sure the man in question had heard them.

“It’s fine, monkey,” John said, drawing her attention back. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to keep us here. I shouldn’t have gone along with it.”

Finally, Chloe pushed herself off of the doorframe and allowed him to pass. “You shouldn’t have even had to argue to stay here,” she said as he walked past her. Even with his back to her, John could tell she was staring daggers at Lucifer while he busied himself with setting the table.

Just like he had that morning before Chloe had gone to work, John felt out of his element. It was easier for him to interact with Lucifer and Chloe separately. They represented vastly different periods of his life, or death, in Lucifer’s case. With them separated from each other, John could almost pretend that he was still living a normal life. When he was with Chloe, he could ignore his death. When he was with Lucifer, John could accept it head-on. But when they were together, it was difficult. He felt every inch the man lost in time when he saw them together.

All of these thoughts ran through John’s head in under a few seconds, but the existential discomfort of it all made it feel like an eternity.

“Here, I’ll take that from you, Dad,” Chloe said, appearing at his shoulder.

Mechanically, he handed the takeout bag to her, and then went to hang his borrowed jacket back on the hook. Task complete, John turned back to the table, still unsure what he should be doing. He watched Chloe open the bag, as if ready to divvy up their early dinner, and then stop. Her head snapped up to look across the table where Lucifer was pouring their drinks.

“It’s been a stressful two days, I knew you would like to have them,” he said, not looking up.

Lucifer finished filling the third glass in silence. When Chloe still hadn’t responded, he finally met her gaze. John didn’t know what he found there, her back was still to him, but Lucifer’s shoulders hunched.

“Did I get it wrong?” he asked, seemingly folding in on himself in a way that John didn’t know was possible.

“No. You didn’t. Thank you,” she replied softly. “But did you--?”

“No!” Lucifer waved his hand vehemently. “He stayed in the Corvette.”

Chloe nodded, and it was as if that motion cued all the others back to normal. She began setting their food onto plates, and Lucifer fluttered back into the kitchen as if nothing had happened. Slowly, John walked up to the table.

“Can I help with anything?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chloe said, balling up the empty takeout bag, “everything’s already done. Just take a seat.”

He reluctantly did as he was told. He stared at his foil-wrapped sandwich until Lucifer and Chloe sat across from him a moment later. The placement reminded him a bit like an interrogation. In some sense, John thought, perhaps it was. He could tell that Chloe had bitten her tongue about them disobeying her orders today. Surely, it wouldn’t be long before she started fishing for details.

“So,” Chloe began, unwrapping her sandwich. “You went to see Linda and Amenadiel.”

Lucifer took a long sip of wine. “Yes, not that they were any help.”

“Lucifer wanted to look for answers,” John put in, trying to be helpful.

Chloe glanced between the two of them. “What kind of answers?”

“Answers that would help us figure out what in Dad’s name is going on, of course,” Lucifer said.

She raised an eyebrow. “And? What did you find out?”

John was thankful when Lucifer launched into a recount of the day's activities. He loved Chloe, but he simply hadn’t been in the mood to talk since they’d picked up dinner. Speaking of dinner, he glanced down at his untouched sandwich. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to eat, it was just that he was afraid of what would happen when he did. He knew he was going to have to eat it eventually, or else Chloe would start to get suspicious. The last thing John wanted to do was cause her any more stress.

He forced himself to unwrap his sandwich. Chloe was busy listening to Lucifer, but her eyes were fixed on John the moment he’d begun to remove the foil. With her watching, there was little he could do besides take a bite. Much to his relief, he did not taste tar or ash. It tasted the same as he remembered--rich, greasy, fattening. Even still, it turned his stomach, John realized with dismay.

Under Chloe’s watchful eye, he fought through the nausea and forced down another bite. The ends of her mouth quirked up in the ghost of a smile. Seemingly satisfied with what she saw, Chloe turned back to Lucifer.

It hit him that for her, this was the first time in roughly two decades that they were sharing these sandwiches. In that moment, it was as if their lives had simply picked up from where they’d left off. Had John never been shot, this was what he would have done that night. Instead of choking on his own blood, he would have been up late at the kitchen table, eating these exact sandwiches with Chloe, and then sending her quietly off to bed afterwards.

John finished his sandwich. His stomach twisted itself into new shapes each time he swallowed, but he refused to ruin this for his daughter. She needed this as much as he’d needed to tell her that bedtime story the previous night.

To fend off the overwhelming nausea, he found himself laser-focused on Lucifer’s tale. That was when he noticed the omissions. Before, he hadn’t paid Lucifer’s storytelling any mind. He had been dealing with his own inner turmoil about Chloe and his untimely demise. Now that he had nothing else to do but pay attention, John began to notice the discrepancies.

Lucifer told Chloe most of what they’d experienced that day, with a few key cut corners. He neglected to tell her about Limbo and his mysterious cough. At first, John thought he was avoiding those topics because Chloe didn’t know the truth about who Lucifer really was, but that theory was quickly derailed when she didn’t blink an eye at Amenadiel searching Heaven for clues about their “resurrection problem.”

John didn’t know why he didn’t correct Lucifer. It would have been so easy to mention a detail he’d left out and watch the fallout unfold. Yet, he sat in silence, only adding in an affirmative sounding hum when Lucifer’s tale required it.

He just wanted to see where Lucifer went with it, he told himself. Lucifer had to have a reason he was leaving out key details, but then again, did he? If John was being entirely honest, even though they were on better terms now, he didn’t really know who Lucifer was at all. There was no telling whether or not he would be completely transparent with Chloe. In fact, if their detour around LA was anything to go by, Lucifer seemed to skirt around the truth and bend the rules quite often.

If Lucifer still refused to tell Chloe about Limbo and the cough by the time the night ended, John resolved that he would tell her himself. Chloe was his top priority, she deserved to know the truth, he finally decided. Plus, was it not John’s story to tell anyways? After all, he’d been the one who died and ended up there in the first place.

As Lucifer’s story drew to a close, John grew more and more convinced that he would have to be the one to tell Chloe about Limbo. But then, Lucifer’s story stopped abruptly. He cleared his throat once. Twice. Then he coughed. It sounded wet and thick like it had at Amenadiel’s, except this time it sounded deeper. It was as if Lucifer was a normal human smoker, and there was tar stuck to the bottom of his lungs.

Lucifer quickly pressed a napkin to his lips, but the coughs continued until he was almost gagging.

Chloe worriedly patted his back. “Are you okay?”

John opened his mouth to confess to Chloe that, no, her partner was not, and that he’d been like this all day, but Lucifer beat him to the punch.

“Fine,” Lucifer muttered between coughs. He coughed a few more times before it finally petered out, leaving Lucifer weepy-eyed and with an undoubtedly sore throat. He strategically wiped his mouth with a clean corner of the napkin before folding it up and out of Chloe’s sight. There wasn’t a speck of silver to be seen.

“What was that all about?” she asked, handing Lucifer his wine to wash down the remaining cough.

He shook his head, taking down the rest of the wine like a shot. “Not a clue.”

John shot a glare in his direction, and Lucifer tactfully ignored it.

Chloe stared at Lucifer for a few more seconds. When she found what she had been searching for, she stood and gathered up her dishes. “Maybe those cigarettes are finally catching up to you,” she chuckled over her shoulder as she headed to the sink.

“Darling, we both know my mortality stint ended ages ago,” Lucifer replied, voice scratchy. It was a pathetic recreation of the exact phrase he’d said to Amenadiel just hours before.

Chloe snorted. “Sure.”

John waited until she turned on the tap before he leaned across the table.

“You have to tell Chloe about everything that’s going on, not just the parts that you like or understand,” he whispered fiercely.

“That will only cause unnecessary worry for the Detective,” Lucifer whispered back. He unfolded the napkin and tilted it enough for the silver liquid inside to catch the light. “This is not something that she needs to worry about right now.”

“Lucifer, come on!” He gestured to the napkin. “You’re literally coughing up some unidentified substance. You said it yourself, you’re immortal. So why is this happening now?”

Lucifer’s jaw clenched. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t care what you think you are, Chloe deserves to know.”

The tap shut off.

John glanced over to make sure that Chloe was still busy at the sink. When she was, he turned back to Lucifer.

“Tell Chloe, or I will, Lucifer.”

Lucifer just stared at the silver splatter on the napkin and said nothing.

#deckerstar #my fic #fanfic #john decker #lucifer morningstar #lucifer on netflix

[duhragonball]

Battle Tendency Liveblog: JJBA Ch. 94-98

This is the first part of the “Joseph vs. Wammu” arc. 

Is it “Whammu” or “Wammu”?    I just looked it up and you drop the “h” I guess.

Here’s some background on the mansion Kars has been using as a base.    I get the impression that it’s a real building in St. Moritz, Switzerland, which leads me to imagine Hirohiko Araki visiting Switzerland in the 80′s and being inspired by the sights.    Then again, I’m not even sure this is a real building.

Messina’s injured and Caesar’s dead, so it’s down to just Joseph and Lisa.  They want to track down Wammu before he heals up from the Caesar fight, but instead they run into some new asshole named “Wired Beck.”   I always assumed he was named after the Beck who did the song “Loser” in the 90′s, but no, it was Jeff Beck, who made the album “Wired”.   This led me to wonder what the other Beck’s first name is, and it turns out that is his first name.  His full name is “Beck David Hansen”. 

It’s been like... 28 days?  Since The Pillar Men spared Joseph in Rome, and while he and Caesar were training, the Pillar Men have also been busy creating vampires with the Stone Mask.  Wired Beck was a fugitive murderer before they got ahold of him. 

Joseph is all set to fight the guy, but Lisa steps in and kills him instead, doing one of those awesome “I killed you so fast that you don’t even know what hit you” attacks.   Joseph is amazed and somewhat surprised by her fighting skills, which I don’t understand because he’s been training under her for three weeks.   Like, Beck didn’t take Lisa seriously either, but he just met the lady, so I get that.  

And when they finally find Wammu, he praises Lisa Lisa for noticing that there’s a lot of other people in the room with them.   But he still adds “-for a woman!” to his assessment.   You’d think a 12,000 year old Pillar Man, who thinks his kind is superior to humans, would rise above this sort of sexism.   Or maybe I’ve got it backwards, and it’s exactly because he’s a 12,000 year old supremacist that Wammu’s attitude is so backward.

Anyway, Kars is here too, and so are like a hundred vampires.   Like Wired Beck, they’re all loyal minions of Kars and Wammu, just hanging off the ceiling and waiting for orders.   Joseph and Lisa could kill a few vampires without any trouble, as we’ve just seen, but this is just too many.   They’re trapped and they know it.   

To Joseph’s credit, he tries to set up a string to trap all of them at once, but there’s too many eyes watching.   Wammu asks Kars to let him fight Joseph one-on-one, but Kars is done with that shit.  He just wants the Red Stone of Aja, and he sees no reason to wait around.   But then Lisa tells him that she has the Stone in a secret location, and if she or Joseph don’t check in with it by a prearranged time, a bomb will go off to destroy it.  It’s a bluff, and Kars knows it’s a bluff, but he’s too obsessed with the Stone to take the risk.  

There’s a lot of shots of Lisa Lisa acting cool in this part of the story, probably because we’re running out of other characters.    I preferred the anime Lisa Lisa to the manga design, because I liked how she looks like the cover art to Duran Duran’s Rio “album”.   Compared to that, the manga Lisa looks a bit... understated.   But I’ve come to appreciate that understated look.   Joseph uses his boisterous personality to help draw attention away from his tricks.    But while he’s making a scene, Lisa Lisa just adopts this stone cold poker face and dares anyone to call her bet.  She knows how badly Kars wants the stone, and she knows that Kars understands how badly she wants to keep it from him.  Why should she be bluffing about this?   Leaving the stone in such a situation sounds like a smart play.   Kars thinks she’s just being desperate, except she doesn’t look desperate, does she?

Lisa proposes a wager to break the standoff: She and Joseph will fight Kars and Wammu for control of the Red Stone of Aja.  Nice and simple.   Kars accepts, not so much because he accepts her bomb story, but because it gives them a chance to avenge Esidisi.    He asks Wammu to chose a battleground, then sends Joseph to fetch the Stone while they keep Lisa as a hostage.

Wammu’s choice is a place called “Skeleton Heel Stone”.   If I understand him correctly, it was something like a Swiss answer to Stonehenge, but later on it became a gladiatorial arena.

Joseph heads back to St. Moritz to get the stone, and carries Messina back with him.  Okay, so about Messina.   Wammu lopped off his arm outside the mansion, but when Caesar entered the mansion to chase after Wammu, he found Messina lying inside, like someone had carried him in.  So how did that happen?  I can only guess Messina brought himself indoors, but that doesn’t sound like something he would do, since he knew the mansion was enemy ground.

Back at the hotel, Joseph finds the Red Stone of Aja in Lisa’s luggage, but he also discovers an old photo from 1889.   There’s Speedwagon, his grandmother Erina Joestar, and... Straizo?   Holding a baby?!    Of course, anyone who knows Phantom Blood knows that this photo represents the all the survivors from the Part 1 cast.   The baby is the same one Erina rescued before Jonathan sank the ship to stop Dio.   But Joseph has no idea about any of that.   He had heard of Straizo before their fight in New York, but he didn’t know much.

Here’s a nice shot of Skeleton Heel Stone.    It’s supposed to be near the foot of Piz Bernina, along the Italian/Swiss border.  

Joseph arrives with the Stone, and holds up a match to it to demonstrate it’s amplification powers.   Satisfied that it’s the genuine article, Kars agrees to proceed with their contest.

In the meantime, Lisa deduces that Joseph saw the photo in her suitcase, and explains that she was the baby in the photo.  Erina saved her from the sinking ship, but since she was pregnant with Joseph’s father, she entrusted Lisa’s care to Straizo.  That’s how she learned the Ripple and came into possession of the Red Stone of Aja.  Joseph is more confused that Lisa looks as young as she does when she must be fifty years old.

And once again, Joseph finds himself empathizing with others.   He had always seen Lisa Lisa as a cold, hardnosed instructor, but now he’s imagining how difficult Straizo’s betrayal must have been for her.  

Never mind that shit!  Here come vampire horses!   Joseph asks the same thing we’re all wondering: What the Fuck?   It’s actually quite simple, really.  To prepare for this event, the Pillar Men used the Stone Masks on some horses.   The vampire goons can barely control them.

What I want to know is where Kars found all these silly Roman soldier uniforms for all of these guys.   Like I said before, it’s been about a month since they woke up in Rome, but I get the feeling that all Kars did was find a new home and dress up his new vampire henchmen in silly clothes.   

The idea is that Wammu will be fighting Joseph in an old-fashioned chariot race, but Joseph thinks the use of vampire horses is an unfair advantage for Wammu.   But they explain that the reins will conduct Hamon, so Joseph should be able to control them with a light Ripple.   O... kay?  Lisa Lisa verifies this, but it still seems kind of goofy.  

Kars orders the battle to begin with the moon appears out of the clouds, but Joseph seems more interested in clearing his chariot wheels.   That makes Lisa nervous, until...

... the race begins and Wammu’s chariot gets stuck.    While everyone else was watching the moon, Joseph was tossing crap in front of Wammu’s chariot to slow him down.   

Look at this big tricky himbo, he’s great.

So the way this works is that there’s a pillar on the racetrack, and there’ll be a weapon hanging from it for the riders to take.   Joseph wants to get a head start so he can have his choice of weapon.    This is because one of them is a big old warhammer, and he’s worried about what Wammu could do with such a thing if he got his hands on it.    However, if Joseph could cover it in oil, he could charge it with Hamon and really give Wammu a hard time.  

And Joseph pulls it off!   He nearly loses his grip on the thing, but it catches on the ring on his finger.   Incidentally, this is the antidote ring that Caesar secured for him earlier.   Joseph has decided that he won’t drink the antidote until he’s beaten Wammu, so he’s wearing it on his pinky instead.   So Joseph seems really confident that all he needs is the warhammer to win this thing.    So why is this (Pillar) man smiling?

#jojo's bizarre adventure #battle tendency #joseph joestar #wammu #lisa lisa #kars #robert e o speedwagon #erina joestar #straizo #wired beck

[soft-ris]

CP - 👽 - If that last slot is open, I'd like to request for a friend. Hes 5'8, brown eyes, brown short hair. He's very friendly, likes to talk a lot but is an introvert. He likes D&D, horse riding and plants. He has a phobia of needles and wasps. He is very generous with everything but money, he hoards money in his bank account. He's usually non violent but has punched someone to the hospital once because they insulted his mother. He's a cool dude. His favs are Jonathan, Wamuu and Melone.

Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...

... Jonathan!!

He's usually nonviolent but has punched someone to the hospital once because they insulted his mother.

Jonathan and Wamuu gets it.

Jonathan mainly because he too would punch someone if they had insulted someone he cared for, and the result would be the same as yours because fuck you see his muscles right?? Yeah, that’s that strong protective couple vibe y’all both emit <3

He might be a gentleman, sweet and positive, but if someone talks shit about your loved one? He’d throw in an extra punch for you too because NO ONE talks about your mom like that. He’s got your back, and he knows you got his too HMPH

Wamuu is all about fighting and honour, so he gets it. He would’ve had the same damn reaction (but I think rather than a hospital, they’d be in at the funeral home…). He also would have a whole new level of respect for you because damn, you can fight and you’re filial? He’s bringing out a ring and it’s not a poisoned one, that’s for sure.

I’m not gonna say all 3 of them would get turned on by that because they think it’s hot… (but they wouldKSKSKSKSK, just at varying degrees ofc).

He's a cool dude.

I can see Jonathan low-key swooning tbh? He himself is more of a gentle giant, like sure he was popular, but he never really saw himself as a ‘cool’ guy (imo). So when he sees how cool you are, it’s probably how his crush started. Just admires it and has stars in his eyes like ‘damn, my boyfriend’s so cool’ type of shit uwu. Would definitely be one of the first qualities about you that he brags to others about.

He likes D&D, horse riding and plants.

Jonathan looks like he horse-rides as a hobby? So horse riding dates are for sure a thing between the two of you. Y’all can ride a horse together into the sunset, or race and see who would win in a friendly competition with cute (or nsfw) bets and rewards and punishments, & etc. Just very cute horse riding centered couple’s activities/dates uwu

Melone looks like he’d understand D&D the quickest, with Jonathan being second & Wamuu being the slowest to pick it up (pls be patient with these 2KSKSKK). Melone can even do a 3D holographic version of it probably lol

Jonathan also looks like he’d indulge in your plants interest. Asking you questions, listening to you talk about them, and all that jazz. Would even buy you some if you want (as gifts). I can’t see him remembering the scientific names of the plants well, so him mispronouncing some of them would be a cute little inside joke between y’all uwu. He also remembers your favourite(s) and would press them into bookmarks or into a necklace or something equally sweet as a gift for you

He has a phobia of needles and wasps.

Out of all the 3, I think Jonathan would be the one who wouldn’t push you to get past this fear or do something weird with it to you. He’d understand and try to keep these things away from you as much as he can. Like if a wasp appears near you? Mf will punch it away or hamon it away, that’s 10000% for sure. Needles in the vicinity? Gone before you can even notice its presence. Overall very thoughtful and sweet about it.

Wamuu, I can kinda see him trying to get you to stop having a phobia of these things. Would ask you to fight it somehow and make it into a battle analogy somehow lol

Melone would file it under your phobia facts and might or might not try to get you to stop having a phobia of them too, but much less active in his plans than Wamuu I feel.

He's very friendly, likes to talk a lot but is an introvert.

That’s cool because Jonathan is a warm soul and a sweetheart. He’ll listen to everything you have to say, he’ll give you space when you tell him, and he won’t be pushing you to hang out if you tell him no. He’s friendly too so y’all would hit it off easy, and his more extroverted nature would pair well with your introverted nature. It’s as they say, complimentary traits for that good balance between a couple yk?

He is very generous with everything but money, he hoards money in his bank account.

I can see Jonathan falling for your generous personality trait. He thinks it’s sweet in how you are so kind hearted and have a lot to give. IMO I can’t see him necessarily understand the money bit since he came from a rich family, but he does know money has a lot of value and over time, he would get why you hoard money. It doesn’t grow on trees after all. Would ask for financial advice or tips from Speedwagon if you need any in order to increase the numbers in your bank account tho

Wamuu doesn’t get why because money doesn’t matter to him lol, he’s more of a fighting and honour and loyalty to his masters type of guy. While he doesn’t get it, that won’t mean if he sees something worth lots of money he won’t give it to you because he will. Wamuu would equate your love of money to his love of fighting and honour, and he’ll gift you with expensive stuff or just money in general for your bank account.

Melone toooooooootally gets the whole money bit. His whole team tried to go against Diavolo because of power and money too, so he 100% gets the hoarding money thing. Won’t judge you on it. I can also see Melone taking advantage of your generosity if you’re a push over? So make sure to call him out on it and reign him in if that happens (he’d probably enjoy that too if yk what I mean lmao)

#jjba #jojo #jojo’s bizarre adventure #cupids_pick #jojo jonathan #jonathan joestar

[psychosistr]

The Jojo Support Squad

For Day 4 of @josuyasuweek​ - CollegeAU/Friends/Summer Job

Summary: Okuyasu’s pleasant afternoon with the rest of the jo-bro’s is interrupted by a surprise stand-user attack! Can he and the other’s fend him off on their own without their Jojo’s around to help?

Notes: So, remember how in the other ones I said that all of these took place in the same modern AU? Well, here’s where it gets more noticeable xD The basic relationship breakdowns are as follows:

Jonathan, Joseph, Johnny, and Jotaro’s grandfathers are all brothers with Jotaro’s grandfather still being Josuke’s dad. Jolyne was found as a toddler by Holly and raised alongside Jotaro as his adopted sister when the Joestar family birthmark was found on her. Jotaro and Jolyne met Josuke when they were all still pretty young and they’ve grown up knowing each other. Giorno’s still part Brando and part Joestar, but at the moment it looks like his father might actually be related to Diego’s father (if not the same person) and his Joestar blood may come from his half-Japanese mother. Gappy (part 8 Josuke) is still a fusion of Josefumi Kujo and a man name Yoshikage Kira, though it’s a different Kira than the one that part 4-Josuke’s group deals with.

Also worth noting is that, in this world, Baron Zeppeli is Caesar’s uncle who is still alive, but that Caesar’s father knew Joseph’s and that’s where part of his grudge originally came from, and Gyro is one of Caesar��s many cousins because the Zeppeli family is just as huge as the Joestars xP Caesar also used to associate with Passione back during his street-thug days and was on good terms with Bucciarati’s group- it’s also where he originally met Speedwagon as their two gangs would travel between England and Italy often and the two have been best friends for years.

Jonathan’s in a poly relationship with Erina and Speedwagon and has been with them for about five years by now following their first fight against DIO. Joseph and Caesar have been “best friends/roommates with benefits” for a couple of years now but only recently started “officially” dating. Jotaro and Kakyoin have been together since their first fight against DIO a year and a half ago. Josuke and Okuyasu just hit their one year anniversary. Giorno and Mista got together shortly after meeting the other Jojo’s. Jolyne is dating both Anasui and Ermes, but the two of them are not dating each other in any way, shape, or form, and often antagonize each other and fight for their equal shares of Jolyne’s attention but she loves them both equally- they’ve been together for a few months by this point. Johnny and Gyro are partners in the local horse-racing challenge league and have also been dating for about half a year by now. Lastly, Gappy and Yasuho just joined the group recently and their relationship is the newest, having only been officially dating for a couple of weeks before meeting the rest of the group.

____________________________________________________________

“Hey, guys!” Okuyasu waved to the group of people seated at a pair of pushed-together tables outside of a café as he ran up to join them. “Sorry I’m late- got held up at work.”

“You’re always late.” Kakyoin commented while grabbing one of the red macaroons set out on a plate nearby, giving the other Japanese boy a teasing smirk. “At this point, I think we’d be more worried if you were actually on time.”

“ ‘fraid ‘e’s got ya on that one, mate.” Speedwagon chuckled, raising his cup of tea in greeting.

“Yeah, yeah, I know..” Okuyasu sighed and took the empty seat between Mista and Anasui, gratefully taking the plate that Gyro handed him from across the table so he could start grabbing his share of the pastries and finger sandwiches before they were all gone. “So, did I miss anything?”

“Nah, we were just getting started!” Ermes grinned at him from the other side of Anasui. “Caesar spent ten minutes ranting about how Joseph used up all the hot water, again.”

Caesar picked up his espresso cup with an annoyed look on his face. “Well, maybe if that idiot didn’t do it EVERY DAY, I could go a week without complaining about it!”

Everyone at the tables laughed at the look on his face, many of them familiar with this particular rant by now.

After thanking Erina and Yasuho for passing him the French-press and a mug from their end of the tables, Okuyasu fixed himself a cup of coffee. Taking his first sip, he looked from one end of the table to the other at the motley crew seated around him.

On the far left of the table was Speedwagon with Caesar to his right. The two of them were the ones to start this little tradition since they’d known each other the longest, often going out for drinks or meals to hang out. When they both wound up living in the same town again because of Jonathan and Joseph, they made going out a weekly event.

Okuyasu himself was seated one place away from Speedwagon’s left side with Anasui directly to his left, Ermes on the other side of Anasui, and Kakyoin across the table from Anasui. The four of them had been brought into the tradition after winding up in town- Kakyoin and Okuyasu because they were traveling with Jotaro and Josuke respectively, and Anasui and Ermes because they followed Jolyne after being released from the prison ship they’d been transported across the sea on. It had been a casual invitation from Speedwagon, asking if the four of them wanted to tag along for dinner one day at his treat after a particularly rough day.

Directly to Speedwagon’s left on the other side of Okuyasu was Mista, who was busy feeding his stands little bits of a cookie that he broke up for them. They’d run into him one day while on their way to lunch shortly after meeting him and his group. He already knew Caesar and Speedwagon somewhat through Passione, but the rest of them were essentially strangers. After some insistence from his tiny stands and pleading for food, Mista joined them and became a more included member of their little squad.

Directly across the table from Okuyasu, seated between Kakyoin and Caesar, was Caesar’s cousin Gyro. Gyro was one of the newer members of their group, but he’d warmed right up to everyone without much trouble. He was actually the one to insert himself into the group after overhearing that they were going out for drinks one night at Passione’s bar and asking if he could tag along. When he said he was a bit frustrated because of Johnny, they welcomed him into the fold with open arms.

On Kakyoin’s other side seated directly across from Ermes was Yasuho. She had recently overthrown Gyro for the title of newest member, as they’d only met her and Josuke (Gappy, as they tended to call him to avoid confusion with Okuyasu’s own Josuke) a couple of weeks ago. This was actually her first time joining them, having been given the invitation earlier in the week.

Lastly, at the right end of the table between Ermes and Yasuho, was Erina. Erina had been a casual member of their group for a while now, but her schedule was rather hectic and often took her out of town. On the rare occasion that she was in town, however, she was more than happy to join the others and catch up. Seeing as it had been a few weeks since her last opportunity to join them, Erina was the one to choose the venue this time- selecting the quaint café with its wide variety of sweets and drinks.

They were certainly an odd sight, all gathered together outside of the café. A mismatched group of people from different countries, demographics, and social classes, all gathered together for sweets. What was the driving force that compelled these people to come together?

The answer was simple: The Joestars.

Each of them had come to love and cherish a member of the Joestar bloodline with all their heart, ultimately falling in love with them. Their lives had all changed in grand, drastic, and bizarre ways due to their association with the strong and clever Joestars, making their lives even richer and more fulfilling than before.

That being said, the Joestars all had their little quirks that got on their partners’ nerves and they needed a place to vent about it occasionally.

Originally, the get-togethers were just a fun little “we need a break from the Joestar brand of insanity, lets grab a bite to eat” thing the small group did on Sundays (barring any aforementioned insanity popping up). Back when it had just been the six of them, Okuyasu had been the one to joke about how it was like their own marriage-counseling session, with most of the others laughing and agreeing with him (except for Caesar, as he refused to admit that he was actually in love with Joseph for the longest time- thank god that wall finally broke down, the others were getting tired of rolling their eyes all the time). By the time Mista joined the group, the weekly outing had become the unofficial “Jojo-dating-therapy-session” for all of them.

Their group had been nicknamed the J.S.S.- the “Jojo Support Squad”. When asked by their partners and friends whether the name meant they supported their respective Jojo’s or if they needed support for dealing with them, they would all just grin and answer with a vague but emphatic “YES”.

They each still loved their partners, of course- complaining about someone’s more annoying traits doesn’t mean you love them any less. Having an open and understanding environment to jokingly air out your grievances, however, was healthy for all of them. So, to give each of them a break and a way to unwind with others who knew the joy, frustration, and bizarreness that dating a Joestar could bring, each week the group took turns letting someone pick a restaurant or bar for them to meet up in and unwind with good food and/or drinks while they all laughed about their Jojo’s antics.

Finishing off a small tart, Okuyasu tuned back into the conversations around him right as Erina let out a light laugh. “Oh, speaking of birthdays..” She smiled at Speedwagon across the table. “Jonathan got ours confused again.”

Speedwagon rolled his eyes and brought a hand to his head, but the smile on his face was still fond and good-natured. “Is THAT why ‘e suddenly showed up outside the office lookin’ like ‘e’d just run a marathon with a bunch o’ roses in ‘is ‘ands?”

Erina laughed again, bringing one hand to her mouth as she did. “I’m afraid so. He invited me out and said that he had made reservations for a ‘special occasion’. I was confused until I looked at the calendar.” She shook her head with an equally fond smile. “His face turned as red as those roses, but I told him to just make sure he got to see you before midnight!”

“At least ‘e got THAT done right.” Speedwagon chuckled and rolled his eyes. “God, what is that? Three, four years in a row now?”

“Four.” Erina mirrored the action and shook her head again. “You would think he’d remember by now.”

“Are your birthdays close together?” Gyro asked them with a curious raise of his eyebrow.

“Ha!” Speedwagon laughed. “Not even close, mate- got a whole season between us!”

“His is October 16th.” Erina said while gesturing towards Speedwagon with her tea cup before raising it towards herself to take a sip. “Mine is June 10th.”

“Poor Jojo can’t keep the numbers straight in ‘is ‘ead t’ save ‘is life.” Speedwagon grabbed a biscotti from the plate that Caesar passed him before passing it along to Mista. “Says all the ones an’ zeroes get mixed up with the six and ‘e forgets which one’s which.”

“At least he knows the dates.” Ermes frowned, distractedly dunking a donut in her coffee. “We must’ve told Jolyne OUR birthdays a hundred times and she STILL can’t remember them!”

“Oh please,” Anasui sighed in annoyance. “It’s not the end of the world. Jolyne can so many amazing things- overlooking a date here and there isn’t worth getting upset over.”

Ermes gave him a dead-pan look that clearly spoke to her lack of sympathy. “Dude, your birthday’s January 1st. It’s the first day of the year and literally the easiest date to remember. I remember it, and we’re not even dating!”

“……” Anasui hid the fact that he was pouting behind his coffee cup while taking an extra-long avoiding-the-conversation sip.

Okuyasu looked at the pair beside him. “Geez, that must be rough. Can’t relate, though- Josuke knows EVRYONE’S birthdays. It’s like he puts reminders in his phone or something.” He frowned slightly and glanced away. “But he did give me the silent treatment for a week when I forgot his birthday…” He shuddered at the thought of his boyfriend’s “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look that he’d been subjected to the whole time- the punishment only ending when he forcefully dragged the other teen all over town for a make-up date where he treated him to lunch, a movie, and bought him anything he wanted from the stores. His wallet was much lighter after that day, but the forgiving smile and kiss on the cheek he received was well worth it. “I’m never doing that again..” He muttered to himself.

“At least you know when your boyfriend’s birthday is.” Mista sighed while leaning his chin into his hand, an annoyed frown on his face. “I keep asking, but Giorno refuses to tell me- he keeps saying I’d probably break up with him if I found out. What the heck does THAT mean?”

“Maybe it has to do with your superstition.” Caesar suggested after grabbing a finger sandwich from his plate. “And trust me, sometimes it is better NOT to know. Every September, Jojo spends the whole month reminding me as if I’M the one who forgot HIS birthday two years in a row.”

“Good to see you’re not bitter about that one, huh?” Gyro teased his cousin with a cocked brow before shrugging. “Then again, me and Johnny haven’t really been together long enough for that to be a problem yet.”

“I know what you mean..” Yasuho said from her spot on the other end of the table. “We don’t know if Josuke actually has a birthday, and mine hasn’t even happened yet.”

Okuyasu smiled a bit while Erina tried suggesting Yasuho and Gappy pick an official date to celebrate his birthday. It was nice getting to hang out with everyone like this, away from their boyfriends (girlfriend, in Anasui and Ermes’ case) and just unwind for a bit. He still loved spending time with Josuke, of course, but it was nice to have some time apart now and then.

Thinking of the other pompadoured teen gave Okuyasu an idea and he pulled out his phone. After arranging the various little pastries and sweets on his plate to look a bit nicer, Okuyasu snapped a picture of the treats and sent it to Josuke. He didn’t have to wait long to get a reply, grinning and chuckling quietly when he saw the text and replied to it.

Josuke: “Dude, those look SO good! O_O Where’d you guys go today?”

Me: “Café Erina likes called Jo’s Jolt. This stuff s as good as it looks and you cant have any! >:D”

Josuke: “Youre such a jerk lmao XD”

Josuke: “Btw you wanna hit up the arcade later? Heard they just got in that new Treasure Raiders game.”

Me: “Hell yeah! :D That sounds awta;9?;ouz”

Okuyasu’s last text got messed up when Mista suddenly grabbed him and pulled him up out of his chair, his phone briefly falling out of his hands. “Incoming!!” He shouted in warning right before something shot past him and hit the table- its path taking it right through where Okuyasu was just sitting.

The object that hit the table looked like a metal sphere that was blinking with a red light. When the light started blinking faster, rapidly gaining speed and shortening the time between flashes, Caesar’s eyes widened and he quickly jumped up onto the table. “Get down!” He shouted as he swiftly grabbed the sphere, encasing it in a bubble as he moved. “Bubble Barrier!” He then threw the bubble-encased object as high up into the air as he could, where it exploded and burst the bubble around it.

Thanks to his earlier warning, everyone else had ducked down below the table for cover while Caesar himself used another bubble barrier around his own body. Everyone’s respective cover, combined with Caesar’s initial bubble barrier around the explosive, helped to significantly lessen the resulting shockwave.

Okuyasu looked around in alarm after the smoke from the bomb cleared and everyone got to their feet. “What the heck was that?!”

“Ahahahahaha!” A jarring voice laughed from above them, all eyes looking towards the roof of the café beside them. Atop the building was a tall but stocky man whose appearance was hidden by a cloak. “Greetings, comrades of the Joestar family! You picked a bad day to go out on your own!” The man threw off his cloak, revealing a scarred face and buzz-cut black hair on his head and green army fatigues with several medals adorning his body. “I, the Modern Major General, and my stand War Pigs, will put an end to your meddling in Lord Dio’s-!” He ducked just in time to avoid being hit in the head by two separate shots, having to jump to the other side of the roof to avoid one of the shots ricocheting back towards him after abruptly turning mid-air. “Hey! I wasn’t finished yet!”

Down on the ground, Speedwagon and Mista both stood with their guns drawn and aimed at the Modern Major General. Once one of Mista’s stands flew back down to him to join the others floating behind him, he glanced towards Speedwagon while keeping his gun trained on their enemy. “That bomb didn’t come from him- Cinque saw it fired from a few feet behind us. He’s either got back up or his stand’s got a longer range.”

The Modern Major General smirked down at them. “Right on both counts, maggot.” He pulled out a whistle from a pocket on his uniform and blew into it. “Troops! Fall in!”

At his command, nearly every person walking on the streets or in the nearby buildings, minus the café itself, suddenly stopped and fell limp as if they’d had some invisible strings cut from their bodies. Then, all at once, they turned to face the group at the café and marched forward in unison- forming a perimeter around them consisting of a small army’s worth of people. Their eyes were hollow and lifeless and their skin looked waxy and pale, as if they had already passed on from this world and were now nothing more than puppets.

At another blow into his whistle, a stand appeared behind the soldier on the roof. It looked like a humanoid boar creature with one of its tusks broken off, a scarred eye, and was covered in camouflage gear- including a classic green helmet on its head and black war paint under its eyes. The stand raised one of its hands into the air and formed a fist, similar helmets to its own appearing on the people around the group to give them the façade of an actual militarized unit. When it moved its hand into a salute, various weapons ranging from close-quarter combat knives to military-grade firearms appeared in their hands.

Realizing what was about to happen, Yasuho was surprisingly the first one to act. She picked up the chair that she had been seated in a minute ago and threw it right into the nearby window of the café with a shout. “Take cover!!!”

The group quickly did such and rushed into the shop through the busted window since it was closer than the door, getting inside and hitting the floor just in time to avoid the barrage of bullets that would have hit them. While they themselves had been lucky enough to avoid the assault, a few of the café’s employees and indoor-patrons had gotten caught in the cross-fire, resulting in bullet wounds and cuts from the breaking glass that accompanied the blasts.

Speedwagon looked to the injured people with a worried frown. “This isn’t good. They’ve got us pinned AND outnumbered- we need a plan.” He turned to Erina and Yasuho. “Erina, get everyone behind the counter an’ get ‘em patched up. Yasuho, give ‘er some ‘elp.” He looked at Okuyasu, Anasui, Ermes, Gyro, and Caesar. “You lot try t’ find a way up t’ the roof and put that bastard in ‘is place. If ya take ‘im out, the soldiers’ll drop like flies.” Lastly, he turned to Kakyoin and Mista. “You two are with me. We’re gonna lay down some cover fire and make sure those buggers don’t get in. Got it?”

Once everyone gave a nod of understanding, they each rushed to their assigned tasks.

Erina and Yasuho got to work on moving the injured customers and employees behind the register counter and display cases, Yasuho calling out her stand and using it to help drag anyone who was unconscious. After they got everyone to a relatively safe spot, Yasuho pulled out her phone and looked at Paisley Park.

“We’re going to need some help here.” When her stand nodded and held a hand out towards the phone, the screen lit up with two choices. Yasuho looked to Erina, who was busy checking everyone’s injuries. “Which would be better? Alcohol or numbing gel?”

“The alcohol.” Erina answered while using some paper towels from behind the counter to wipe up someone’s blood. “It will hurt more, but we need to keep these wounds from getting infected.”

“Got it.” Yasuho said while tapping the bottle of rubbing alcohol on her screen, the bottle emerging from the phone with the help of her stand and materializing in the real world. She continued to use her stand’s ability to get items for Erina, the latter using the acquired supplies to treat the wounds of the injured civilians to the best of her ability.

As they worked to treat the wounded, Speedwagon, Mista, and Kakyoin each took up a position at one of the windows to fire at the advancing army. Their efforts seemed in vain, though, as the enemy just kept going no matter how they shot their arms or legs.

“Emerald Splash!!” Kakyoin called out the signature attack of his stand as a wide arc of emeralds were launched at the undead soldiers. The sound of a door being kicked open nearby caught his attention, causing him to turn towards the kitchen where a few of the soldiers were trying to get in. “!!”

Before he had a chance to react, a metallic object flew past his eyes and sliced the heads off of the soldiers. With their heads damaged, the helmets fell off to reveal glowing bullet holes and the bodies finally fell limply to the ground.

“The ‘eads!” Speedwagon called to the other two while catching his hat when it spun back around in his direction. “Aim for the ‘eads an’ knock their ‘elmets clean off!”

“On it!” Mista said while doing just that- firing six shots with each bullet guided by one of his stands to hit the green helmets and send them flying off, resulting in each person hit falling to the ground.

Using the hole that the others made for them in the advancing horde, Okuyasu’s group ran out into the fray and started fighting off any of the close-range soldiers that tried to attack with their knives.

“Caesar!” Gyro called after knocking back a pair of enemies with his steel balls. “Diamo a questi bastardi uno speciale per la famiglia Zeppeli!”

Caesar looked at his cousin with a smirk. “Con piacere.”

The shorter haired Zeppeli then took in a deep hamon breath and began to shape a large bubble. Once it was big enough, Gyro reached over and touched the surprisingly strong soapy film of the bubble and moved it, channeling the power of the spin into the bubble’s rotation. Within seconds the bubble was glowing and crackling with two similar yet different wave-lengths of energy from the hamon and spin that were powering it up.

When the bubble was ready, the two Italians launched it forward at the same time. The super bubble proceeded to ricochet around the battlefield like a pinball, bowling over any enemies in its path while always managing to avoid running into anyone from their own group. The chaos it caused help to further clear their path around to the side of the building where they could get to the roof with a bit more ease and be out of the line of fire.

Just before they rounded the corner, though, Okuyasu heard the familiar tune of the song “Great Days” being sung in his boyfriend’s voice and instantly recognized the ringtone. “Oh, shit!” He summoned The Hand and spotted his phone back by the now knocked over tables. As soon as he saw an opening, he used his stand’s powers to swipe away the space between him and his phone, drawing the small object closer and catching it. “Gotcha!” He looked at the screen and, sure enough, there was Josuke’s picture with his caller ID, along with a list of messages and one or two other missed calls on the list. Feeling bad for making the other boy worry about him, Okuyasu quickly answered the call and brought the phone to his ear. “Hey, Josuke.”

“There you are! Dude, you had me freakin’ out over here!” Josuke let out a relieved sigh. “That last text was weird- everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Okuyasu frowned slightly while using The Hand to make the heads of some nearby soldiers that tried to follow them disappear, working in tandem with Gyro and Caesar to keep the enemies from cornering them. “I kinda dropped the phone when Mista grabbed me, and then there was the explosion, and I left my phone at the table when we had to duck inside-”

“Woah, woah, back up!” Josuke interrupted him. “What the heck’s going on over there?!”

“Oh, right.” Okuyasu smacked himself in the forehead for forgetting the important part. “We’re sort of fighting off this weird stand user that works for Dio. He’s got a bunch of zombie people in helmets with guns and junk, so we’re gonna climb up to the roof and kick his ass.”

“What?!” Josuke didn’t sound very relieved after hearing his answer. “Are you okay?! Do you guys need back up?!”

“Uhhh..one sec, lemme check.” Okuyasu held the phone away from his head while looking at Anasui and Ermes. “Hey, Josuke wants to know if we need back up!” He called over to them.

The pair of ex-convicts were busy creating a pathway to the roof by placing Kiss’s stickers on Diver Down’s limbs so that it could phase into the wall of the building and give them multiple points to climb on by leaving its limbs sticking out.

“Nah, we’re good!” Ermes called back to him while using her stand to grab onto one of the limbs and pull herself up.

“Okay!” Okuyasu went to bring the phone back to his head. “Yeah, I think we’re-” Before he could finish his reply, a bullet whizzed past his head and hit his phone. It probably would have hit him as well if Caesar and Gyro didn’t suddenly pull him back. “?!!” Okuyasu looked at the shattered remains of his phone with wide eyes and a slack jaw of disbelief. “Hey, not cool, man!” His expression quickly turned into an angry scowl when he looked around for the source of the gun shot. He eventually spotted the culprit several feet away with a sniper rifle in its hands. “Get over here, you asshole!” He shouted, using The Hand to drag the soldier right up to him so he could punch it in the face and knock its helmet off himself. “Great, now Josuke’s gonna freak out!”

“Sorry, amico mio.” Gyro gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, but the look on his face spoke of mischief. “But I know ONE thing that will make you feel better.” He pointed to the roof where Anasui and Ermes were just climbing over the edge. “Go on- we’ll cover you from down here.”

Okuyasu smirked and headed towards Diver Down while cracking his knuckles. “Yeah, that should help.” Similar to Ermes, he used his stand to grab on to each of Diver Down’s limbs and climb up to the roof.

Joining the others on the roof, he saw them battling against the Modern Major General and War Pigs with the stand putting up a surprisingly effective defense against Kiss’s assault. “Did you think I would be taken down that easily?” He taunted when his stand managed to dodge one of Kiss’s strikes and tossed her aside.

“Woah!” Ermes nearly lost her balance when she felt her stand being thrown, but Anasui steadied her while Okuyasu’s stand caught Kiss. “The guy’s got a decent stand, I’ll give him that..”

“Decent, maybe.” Anasui said once Ermes was on her feet again. “But we’ve dealt with worse.” He looked at the Modern Major General and his own stand rose up through the floor behind him. “Diver Down!” His stand lived up to its name and dove at the enemy, two of its multiplied fists raised as it struck.

The Modern Major General avoided the attack by jumping back out of the way, but the stand still hit the floor where he’d been standing. “Ha! Slow attacks like that are no match for my highly trained, combat-honed reflexes!”

“…….” Instead of responding verbally, Anasui just continued to have Diver Down attempt to strike the general, settling for hitting the roof whenever the stand missed.

Looking at the way the stand kept hitting the roof with its multiplied limbs, Ermes seemed to figure out what was going on. “Oh boy..this is gonna be big!” She backed away to edge of the roof quickly, keeping an eye on the fight happening a few feet away.

Before he could ask what was going on, Okuyasu saw Anasui smirk and got the feeling that he should back up too. “?!” Seeing the smirk increase, Okuyasu jumped back to the edge- apparently doing so just in time.

The Modern Major General avoided another punch and grinned. “Are you even trying? I could do this all da-!” Not being given a chance to finish his taunt, a copy of two of Diver Down’s fists suddenly shot up from the ground he landed on and knocked him into the air. “?!” When he fell onto another part of the roof, a pair of Diver Down’s legs shot up and kicked him back into the air. The pattern continued, a pair of fists or feet rising up out of the roof no matter where he seemed to land- effectively floating him from one side of the roof to the other.

“Did you really think I’d be sloppy enough to miss THAT many times?” Anasui said while watching his enemy get knocked back into the air repeatedly. “I was storing Diver Down’s energy all over this roof, waiting for you to lower your guard at just the right moment.”

As he fell back towards the roof again, the Modern Major General finally got his bearings and his stand appeared in front of him. “War Pigs!” A missile launcher appeared in the stand’s hands and it blasted the area of the roof its users was about to land on, the force driving him to the edge of the roof and clear of the trapped areas. “D..Damn you..I’m not going to fall for a trap like that again..!”

Okuyasu looked at the large amount of space between them and the general with a scowl. He REALLY wanted a piece of the action, too. Then, glancing at Ermes, he got an idea. “Hey, can I borrow a sticker?”

Ermes looked at him curiously. “Huh? For what?”

Okuyasu smirked and summoned The Hand in front of her with its right arm raised. “For THIS.”

Ermes grinned, getting the gist of what he wanted. “Ha! Sure, this oughta be fun!”

On the other side of the roof, the Modern Major General had his stand aim its missile launcher at Anasui. “Your stand has a limit to its range, so all I have to do is blow you away from over here and-!” Once again, he was interrupted- this time by a strong pulling sensation. “What?!” He was yanked forward across the roof, triggering multiple stored-energy points along the way and getting hit by every single fist and leg he came across.

Okuyasu looked down at him when the other stand user stopped right in front of him, cracking his knuckles. His stand stood behind him with two versions of its right hand still extended. “You know..I was having a pretty good day before YOU showed up..now my phone’s trashed, I’m pissed off, and I never even got to finish eating!” He glared at the man while pulling him up to his feet. “But you wanna know what REALLY pissed me off?” He curled his free hand into a fist. “You made me hang up on my boyfriend and freak him out, you asshole!!” He punched the general and sent him flying across the roof, setting off a few more of the stored energy points.

When he tried to get back up, Okuyasu used The Hand’s power to force him back over by deleting the empty space in front of him- the extra limb giving him more control of the area that was affected by his power and allowing him to jerk the general in various directions. At one point he got the general close enough to Ermes that she was able to punch him with Kiss and send him flying over to Anasui, who repeated the motion with Diver Down. The three stand users formed a triangle of punishment, the enemy stand user being pulled and punched across the roof and hitting all sorts of stored points along the way.

Finally, with the enemy barely conscious, Okuyasu punched him clear off the roof with his stand’s other hand, sending him sprawling down on the ground below in an unconscious heap.

With their commanding officer down, the horde of undead soldiers began to lose the unity of their previous attacks and just fired about aimlessly. The trio inside of the building, as well as the pair on the ground outside of it, took advantage of the loss in control and proceeded to thin out the ranks significantly.

Inside of the building, Yasuho looked to the windows with a relieved sigh. “Looks like they got him.”

“That’s a relief.” Erina sighed as well, finishing the last of her emergency first-aid on the civilians.

Yasuho was about to comment about the fight going on around them, when Paisley Park made another choice come up on her phone. “Huh?” Yasuho looked at the two weapons displayed on the screen in confusion. “A gun or a Taser? Why would we need these?”

Erina looked at the phone’s screen with a worried frown. “…….” After a moment, she spoke quietly. “Choose the gun.”

Yasuho looked at the blond woman curiously while tapping the picture. “But, I don’t know how to use it.” She said as she took the revolver produced by her stand’s ability.

“I know..” Erina looked back out the window at their allies fighting off the remnants of the undead army. “But I have a feeling we’ll need it..”

Without War Pigs giving them commands, the rest of the soldiers were dispatched fairly easily after a while- especially after the roof trio joined the fight in earnest on the ground. Finishing off the last of them, Okuyasu looked around for where he’d sent the Modern Major General flying earlier. “Did you guys see where that jerk landed?”

Ermes and Anasui shook their heads as they aided him in his attempt to find their enemy. Speedwagon and the others exited the building to aid in the search, leaving Yasuho and Erina inside to look after the wounded.

Kakyoin looked around with a serious frown on his face. “This isn’t good. I’ll set up a perimeter with Hierophant Green and see if we can spot him.”

Just as the stand was starting to unravel itself, they all heard a startled scream from within the building and turned towards it. “!!!!!”

They saw the Modern Major General standing behind the shattered window, looking bloodied and bruised, with a dark scowl on his face as he held Erina’s arms behind her back. Beside him, his stand had a similar hold on Yasuho with one hand and a desert eagle held against her head with the other hand. The general glared at them as he and his stand stepped out of the building with their hostages. “Alright…none of you move or the ladies here get it.” To show he was serious, he had his stand press the barrel of its gun harder against Yasuho’s head. “Now drop your weapons and call off your stands!”

Not wanting to risk their friends’ lives, everyone did as they were told. The stand users all had their stands retreat for the moment while Mista and Speedwagon set their guns on the ground, Gyro doing the same with his steel balls. At a gesture from the general, they kicked their weapons towards him and out of their reach.

Speedwagon, however, kept his hat on, silently making plans when the general didn’t comment on it. “Alright…ya got what ya wanted, now let ‘em go!” As he spoke, he moved one of his hands behind himself where Kakyoin and Okuyasu, who were standing behind him, could see it. He made two motions with his hand- one grabbing gesture, and one where he brought his fingers together and split them apart slowly.

The boys got the idea and Kakyoin acted first, silently summoning his stand in its unraveled form and spreading the tendrils of it along the ground so that they slowly snaked their way towards the general. As he did so, Okuyasu had The Hand’s right hand super-imposed over his own from where it was hidden behind his back, waiting for his cue.

“Let them go? Ha!” The Modern Major General smirked at them. “Oh no, I’ve got plans for them- for ALL of you.” He looked at his stand with the gun in its hand. “You see, losing a few soldiers here and there means nothing to me. My War Pigs can conscript anyone into my army with a single shot to the head.” He looked back at the others with a malicious grin. “That is why Lord Dio sent ME to get rid of you. Soon, you will all become soldiers for my army- an army that will take down the Joestars! Just imagining the look on their faces when their closest allies come to kill them, being forced to fight those who once fought so hard for them, and then being finished off by those same allies- oh, I can hardly wait to see it!”

Kakyoin spoke calmly, the strands of his stand getting close to the enemy, unseen so far. “A twisted plan, indeed- one we’ve come to expect from Dio and his minions.”

“Not a bad plan, really.” Mista commented, the rest of the group having noticed what was happening by now.

“But you left one thing out, amico.” Gyro said with a quiet chuckle, looking amused.

“Si, something VERY important.” Caesar’s expression matched his cousin’s perfectly.

“Oh yeah?” The Modern Major General asked while eyeing them suspiciously. “And what would that be?”

“US!” Okuyasu said, finally revealing his hand and swiping it through the air.

“!!” War Pigs was about to shoot Yasuho, but the green tendrils of Kakyoin’s own stand rose out of the ground and pried its arms away from her, allowing her to be pulled forward by Okuyasu’s stand.

Once she’d gotten her bearings and stood among the others, Yasuho pulled the gun her stand had given her earlier out from under the hem of her shirt and handed it to Mista. “Here, I think you’ll get more use out of this than I would.”

Mista took the gun and opened it up so his stands could get in alongside the bullets. “Thanks, I’ll put it to good use.”

“Why, you-!” The Modern Major general’s face contorted into an enraged snarl as he gripped Erina tighter. “I warned you! Now-!” This time the one to interrupt him was Erina, who did so by suddenly slamming her head back into her captor’s nose while simultaneously stomping on his foot with her high-heeled shoe. “!!!!”

Erina quickly slipped out of the hold while he was in pain and ducked. “Now, Robert!”

“Right, love!” Speedwagon called back to her while taking his hat and throwing it at their enemy. The deadly clothing easily sailed over Erina’s head and sliced right across her assailant’s eyes before flying back towards him.

“AAAAAH!!! My eyes!!” The general screamed in pain, futilely bringing his hands up to hold his bleeding pupils.

Unable to see them coming, everyone in the group got into position around the general.

“Your plan wasn’t bad, mate.” Speedwagon began, twirling his hat idly on the tip of one finger. “But ya forgot one VERY important thing.” He slashed the backs of the general’s hands with his hat and tripped him, sending him towards Caesar.

“Si, you forgot about US.” Caesar summoned a small volley of his hamon-infused bubbles that crashed into the man and sent him towards Anasui and Ermes.

“We’re not that easy to take down!” Ermes used her stand to hold the general in place.

“And we don’t like people threatening our partners.” Anasui said with a dark, deadly tone to his voice right before Diver Down punched the man- the stand’s fist hitting twice due to the energy it stored in the spot it struck and sending him flying towards Yasuho and Erina.

“So don’t try anything with us around!” Yasuho took the broken chair that Erina handed her and gave it to her stand, Paisley Park smashing the chair over the enemy’s head to send him towards Gyro.

“Actually, don’t try anything AT ALL.” Gyro warned, channeling some spin energy into his fist to knock the general high up into the air.

“That’s right- it’s still a death sentence.” Mista aimed the gun Yasuho gave him at the general and fired every single shot at him, Sex Pistols passing the bullets around to make sure they all hit in the most painful spots possible.

“Because if you want to hurt the Joestars-” Kakyoin began, Hierophant Green sending out a blast of emeralds that battered and pierced the general further.

“Then you gotta go through US!!” Okuyasu finished Kakyoin’s threat, summoning The Hand and using his stand to shorten the space between the general and the ground- causing him to slam right into the group below where every member of their squad had their stand’s and/or their own hands raised into fists to punch him when he landed.

The Modern Major General was soundly knocked out from the force of the impact, his body falling in a bloody heap on the ground- this time being most likely the last for the time being.

When the adrenaline wore off and the metaphorical dust settled, Okuyasu and the others realized that they felt like they were being watched. They turned around to see who was watching them and found their various Jojo’s standing a few feet away. Every single one of them were staring with a look that was, for lack of a better term, star struck.

While their partners’ looks were adorable and endearing, someone had to break the silent trance they were all in. So, Speedwagon took it upon himself to do so, walking over to Jonathan.

“Enjoyin’ the show there, love?” He asked with a teasing smile.

“Huh? O-Oh!” Jonathan snapped out of his fond gazing and a slight flush appeared on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “My apologies! I-I just, that is, we thought-!”

Erina giggled and joined Speedwagon in front of Jonathan, reaching up to playfully tap the tip of his nose with her finger. “It seems you left him speechless, Robert. Whatever shall we do?”

“Oh, ‘e probably jus’ wants a cute nurse or two t’ take care o’ ‘im!” Speedwagon laughed, winking at Jonathan. “ ‘e’s kinda cute like that, though.”

Jonathan let out an exasperated huff and wrapped his arms around both of his partners. “You may tease me all you want, I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Nearby, Joseph folded his arms and shrugged his shoulders when Caesar walked over to him. “I don’t get why we had to rush over here. I TOLD them you’d be fine.”

Caesar cocked one brow with a knowing smirk, leaning in close to Joseph to unnerve him. “Oh? So you didn’t panic when you heard I was fighting without you again?”

“Oh no, he was screaming about it the whole time.” Johnny commented as he passed by in his wheelchair. He ignored the way Joseph blushed and shouted names like “traitor” at him, as well as Caesar’s following laughter, as he made his way over to Gyro. “I knew you’d be okay, though.”

Gyro chuckled and ruffled Johnny’s hair affectionately. “Good to know you’ve got so much faith in me.” He grinned when he saw the small smile on Johnny’s face that he tried to hide by looking away, prompting him to lean down and give him a kiss on his forehead.

Off beside them, Jolyne smiled at Anasui and Ermes. “That was great- I came in around the end where you beat the heck out of that guy.” She looked between the two of them with a teasing smile. “It’s good to see you two getting along like that for a change.”

Ermes and Anasui looked at each other for a moment before Ermes laughed. “Us? Getting along? Yeah, right!”

Anasui huffed and rolled his eyes. “Unlikely.”

Despite their words, they glanced at each other with an amicable smile- one that Jolyne definitely caught. “Uh huh, suuuuuure.” She said sarcastically before slipping between them and putting one arm around each of their shoulders, giving her boyfriend and her girlfriend each a quick peck on the cheek.

Not too far away behind them, Giorno was being swarmed by Sex Pistols and their barrage of comments “Did you see us, Giorno?!” “We were cool, right?!” “Mista sure got angry!” “It’s because that meanie said he was gonna hurt Giorno..” “Well, we wouldn’t let that happen!” “Yeah! We’d help protect you, Giorno!”

Giorno gave the stands a small, fond smile. “Thank you- I feel safer already.” He gave one of the tiny stands a light pat on the head with the tip of his finger, but his eyes were locked on the stand’s user, giving him a look of gratitude that made Mista blush and avert his gaze elsewhere with an innocent whistle- pretending he didn’t hear what his stands just said (or that he could feel it when Giorno patted them in appreciation).

“So..” Kakyoin began, eyeing Jotaro with a mildly amused smile once he’d made his way over to him nearby. “Were you worried?”

“……” Jotaro looked at him quietly for a moment before pulling his hat down over his eyes. “Hmph, yare yare daze. Figured you’d be fine..Josuke just panicked and made us rush over..”

Kakyoin tilted his head, leaning sideways slightly so he could see under the brim of his boyfriend’s iconic hat. “Oh? You weren’t worried at all?”

“Of course not.” Jotaro turned his head away, but Kakyoin caught the way the corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he spoke. “You wouldn’t be my partner if I thought you couldn’t handle yourself.”

While Kakyoin smiled more at the other teen’s words, Gappy ran past them over to Yasuho and looked her over with a concerned frown on his face. “You’re okay, right? He didn’t hurt you?”

Yasuho laughed lightly and waved off her boyfriend’s concern. “I’m fine, Josuke. It wasn’t anything we couldn’t-” She blushed slightly when her boyfriend suddenly took her hand, holding it with a relieved smile on his face.

“Good…” He looked her in the eyes, smiling more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you..”

“Aw, Josuke..” She smiled back at him, squeezing his hand gently. “You’re getting so sappy- it’s weird.” They both laughed at that one, sharing the sentiment whole-heartedly.

Okuyasu looked through the crowd and spotted his own boyfriend still standing back where the Joestar group had started. Making his way over to him, Okuyasu gave Josuke an apologetic frown and rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Hey, Josuke..look, I’m sorry about earlier, but one of those creepy zombie-things shot my phone and I-” He was cut off mid-apology by a pair of lips firmly crashing into his own and strong arms wrapping around his waist. “?!” After taking a moment to regain his senses, Okuyasu returned the kiss as he always did.

He was (pleasantly) surprised by the amount of love and passion he could feel in the heated kiss, gasping slightly when he was dipped backwards for a moment and even feeling Josuke’s tongue slip into his mouth. By the time it was over and he was brought upright again, Okuyasu was (pleasantly) dazed with a huge grin on his face.

“That,” Josuke said, still keeping his arms locked tight around Okuyasu. “Was the hottest thing I have EVER seen.” He peppered Okuyasu’s face with kisses between each word he spoke. “You were so cool, babe. God, I just love you so much..”

Okuyasu grinned more from the praise and affection, wrapping his own arms around Josuke’s shoulders. “Hey, we’re the ‘Jojo Support Squad’, remember? Gotta be ready to support our Jojo’s, right?”

Everyone in the squad agreed, that’s what the Jojo Support Squad was for- supporting each other in airing out their mild complaints, but, ultimately, it was for supporting their beloved Jojo’s whenever they needed them.

End Notes: *collapses after posting this at 2:30 AM* Ugggh, I got over ambitious with this one @_@ It ended up WAY longer than I thought, but I didn’t have the strength of will to cut it. The next two will be shorter because of this, but I’m okay with that right now xP

Also, the Modern Major General is an OC I made together with my cousin. My cousin’s in the army and is a huge Jojo nerd, so one day we talked about what we’d be like as Jojo characters and we created this OC based off of the idea of him being a bad guy. I chose the character name because I’m a musical theater geek, and he came up with the concept for the stand because War Pigs, ironically, has been his favorite song for years (we used to guitar hero battle each other with that one all the time as kids x3). Overall, the idea of the character was to line up with the song War Pigs in that he liked to control others and could talk a big game, but, without his soldiers to send in to battle for him, he becomes pretty useless and death rightfully and swiftly comes for him.

#josuyasu #josuyasuweek #jonawagon #jonaeriwagon #jonaeri #caejose #jotakak #jotokak #jotkak #giomis #jolyemes #analyne #gyjo #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #josuke higashitaka #okuyasu nijimura #jonathan joestar #robert edward o speedwagon #Erina Pendleton #caeser zeppeli #Joseph Joestar #Jotaro Kujo #Noriaki Kakyoin #giorno giovanna #guido mista #jolyne kujo #narciso anasui #ermes costello #johnny joestar

[oncethrown]

2x17 "Do you trust me?"

This was another good example of an episode that had a central theme, and teased it through nearly all the plot lines to expand characters in a satisfying way. The theme still didn't manage to affect Clary, who is now basically flapping in the wind with a motivation that doesn't make sense. "Do you trust Jocelyn?" To me, one of the most interesting things about this episode is the evidence that Jocelyn dragged so many warlocks into protecting the mirror. It was either @f-f-f-fight or @amorverus who commented that the narrative allows so much trust in Jocelyn because she's a white woman, and while that's probably the real reason this plot line exists, there is internal logic to this plot that is dark and fascinating. Jocelyn is a master manipulator. We've seen her in action several times. She has a way of getting what she wants from people, by giving them what they want, and not giving a damn if that exchange of goods and services harms them or other people. Every time we saw Jocelyn on screen, she was exerting some kind of power to achieve her ends. She has her daughter's mind wiped to keep them away from the Clave, and somehow manipulates Magnus into helping her. She lies to Clary for 18 years. She gets a lot of support (including, you have to assume, monetary support, cause...artist) from Luke and seems to offer nothing in return. She traps Clary in a boathouse so she can kill Jace unimpeded. She killed Alec to find Clary. Remember that? Clary was pissed, put herself in danger, and then Jocelyn used Alec to find her, and for a moment, Alec was dead. Jocelyn killed Alec. So it's really easy to imagine Jocelyn going to all of these warlocks, promising them the power to restrict the power of the Clave, and oh by the way... you might die. Jocelyn, in this light, is the perfect embodiment of the Clave. Making promises, but never risking what she asks others to risk. Always out to get what she wants, but never offering mutual trust, mutual transparency. Assuring everyone that they have the downworld's best interest at heart, they want to work together...and then protecting themselves from the specter of an uprising by lying about having the sword. If intentional, The leitmotif of Jocelyn's manipulation in this episode Is genius. If not it's All the Problems With Clary turned up to Eleven. "Do the Lightwood trust the Clave and Eachother" Max's orders are an interesting hiccup in this trust/Clave/sword imbroglio, especially for Izzy. She has to ask herself if she trusts herself to have trained Max well enough, a harder question now that she's in recovery. She has to confront Alec, not as her older brother, but as the head of the Institute, sending another young soldier into the field. And of course, does she trust the Clave? Does she trust their choice to let 12 year olds out into a world that is much much more dangerous than ever before. I wish there had been more talk between the Lightwoods about trusting the Clave after the revelation about the sword, but I acknowledge that this Max plot line is building toward something in the next episode and that the sword thing is covered in other plots. It also sets up the questions that other characters ask about being able to trust Alec as the head of the Institute. "Was Magnus Wrong to Trust Alec as Much as he Did?" Obviously the focus of this piece of the plot is on Alec and Magnus's personal relationship being tested by their professional obligations and cultural loyalties. Magnus has opened up to Alec in ways he hasn't opened up to anyone. We just came off an episode where Magnus told Alec something he may never have told anyone, after keeping it bottled up for four straight episodes. Then Magnus comes from a meeting and unabashedly announces his total faith in Alec's good intentions, and trustworthiness. The revelation that Alec lied about the Clave is a huge and multi layered betrayal. 1. He lied to Magnus. Alec is always shown being totally honest with Magnus. He didn't know why he stayed to have a drink with Magnus, and he doesn't pretend otherwise. He tells Magnus as soon as he gets engaged. He admits to having some degree of suicidal ideation. He walks into sex with no major reservations pretty early. There is a lot of trust there. Alec's lie complete blindsides Magnus. 2. The lie shows that Alec is more of a Shadowhunter than Magnus has been thinking of him as. Alec lies to Magnus to protect the Clave. Alec makes a show of transparency with the downworld, gives that to Magnus as the official line, and then politically undermines Magnus, as The High Warlock, like a Trump tweet during a White House briefing. Alec then toes the party line about protecting downworlders from themselves in general, and insults Magnus by infantilizing him. Alec just didn't want Magnus to worry his pretty head about the sword. 3. The lie shows disregard for the magnitude of damage that Valentine has caused in only the last few weeks and for Magnus's life.If Alec had bought yogurt on the day of the downworld massacre that took place in Alec's Institute, with that missing sword, that yogurt would still be good. Also, for a significant amount of time, Alec thought he was going to find Magnus's dead body lying in a hallway after that massacre. It's like if there was a school shooting, and afterward the school put the gun in a janitor's closet, fully loaded, and forgot about it. Much like Izzy did, Magnus walks in to see Alec and finds himself confronting the Head of the New York Institute. Alec loves and admires Magnus. The Head of the Institute made assumptions about how a warlock would react to Clave news. Alec is always open and honest with Magnus. The head of the Institute is hiding life or death information. And there is a race factor here too. Everything Alec says and does after Magnus confronts him reeks of ingrained downworlder predjudice. Which is not to say that Alec is a bigot, or that he doesn't love Magnus, but Alec benefits from a society where he is powerful because his species has subjugated Magnus's species and hunted them for sport within Magnus's living memory. It's a massive betrayal, and Magnus lashes out at Alec with a viciousness that shocks Alec. It's the end of the honeymoon, and it's a great set up for deep meaningful plots moving forward. "Who can Jonathan trust?" It's also interesting to see the Jonathan/Valentine dynamic in an episode haunted by Jocelyn's emotional manipulation skills. Jonathan has this very interesting motivation: he wants to be loved. He's a villain who wants to be loved. He's a villain with a baseline of "pretty gosh darn evil" who just wants to be loved... and so far in the plot, shouldn't be loved. I am so in. Love that shit. And he's with an abusive monster who is preying on him to revert back to his big genocide plan... but he's also in contact with Jace, who can keep pointing out how abusive and manipulative Valentine is. And he knows Clary is his sister, and she keeps talking about how he can be redeemed, and she needs to find him, and she has no one, and giving him this lifeline. I almost want to read the kiss as an outburst of misplaced non sexual want. Like, he just has no idea how to express affection, but also he wants to claim her in a completely not-okay way. But the cynical part of me thinks that free form probably just threw it in for no reason. "Clary was also in this episode" Clary is the only character saddled with dragging the book plot along with her, and it's an albatross around her neck. Knowing that, it was a huge mistake to also give her the exposition that was so clunky it was reading examples of how not to do it. Then give her magic plot advancing powers in the form of visions for no reason. Everyone of her scenes reads like it was written by someone who got this job because their uncle works there, but they showed up hungover, wrote it 10 minutes before the scripts were due, and is probably going to quit soon anyway. Seriously, whoever wrote the Clary parts of this episode should be fired. Rather than beat a dead horse with my usual complaints about Clary and her storyline, I'm just going to point out that all those complaints still apply, but now with extra annoyance because: 1. The motivation they gave her makes no sense. Luke was supposed to be her father, but they never talk since she you know, tasered him. Dot is supposed to be a big sister to her, Clary keeps leaving her to die. But also, the writers don't use her actual close relationships to build this want in anyway. Like, she fucked up a sibling relationship with Simon cause of the awkward nerd boning, and the distance in that relationship never comes up as a motivating factor as she searches for family. The three people she hangs out with most (theoretically) are siblings. The idea that maybe she's a little isolated from that dynamic doesn't come up. 2x17 was a well developed, nuanced episode that explored a lot of deep and complicated facets of the characters and elements of the world, and Clary was a redhead in it.

#Shadowhunters 2x17 #Shadowhunters meta #episode reaction

[writingwithadragon]

Chapter One ~ Mission

I began to doze off as my father's voice droned on, talking to the other Kings and Queens. The other princes got to sit outside and play, while I had to listen to the old fairy tale. It was the one where there are people half deer and stuff. The story ends with them disappearing into the unknown world, never to be seen or heard of again. It was a boring story, but someone found evidence of them existing. I call complete and total bull shit on that, it's a fairy tale which means it's fake.

But my father continued on, telling them we need to try to find them, if they still live. But they don't, everyone knows that they’re dead. If they did exist, they would be extinct. And people say they traveled for a thousand years, then up and disappear into the nothingness. I could hear my name with the other princes names, I still didn’t bother to listen until he said we will look for them. I’m not going to go risk my life to look for these dead creatures of myth. I refused to die for a stupid reason.

I angrily got up from my seat, it fell back showing my anger if my voice if it didn't cover it, “I’m not going to die to try to find a myth! If they haven't been found yet, we wouldn't be able to find them now! Only if they do exist, and if they do they would want to stay hidden! So I’m not going to it, I’m not going to  die like an idiot!”

“Oh, you think you’re not going to go? Well you are, and you’re going to like it! Understand that Brian! So go tell the other princes to go pack their things. It's going to be a very long and dangerous journey,” my father scolded, only if looks could kill.

I huffed giving up, and took my leave. Being forced on this made it so much worse, and when I die it would be horrible for my father. Since he was the one to force me to go. The doors felt harder to push open, and the sound of them closing sounded much more harsh. I could feel their stares, I just walked towards my room. Once I made it I grabbed a bag and packed the stuff I would need. Everyone soon got the point, and then ran off to get their things. The straps on the bag felt like leather that will never be found again. This “journey” will be the death of all the heirs to the thrones of all kingdoms. The kingdom that took many wars to unite. With a small side I made my way to the horses, and we wouldn’t get a chance to say goodbye to people we knew.

My feet were dragged on he floor, the many doors in the castle were heavy. I ran into my father on the way and gave me a map, I wanted to burn it into ash. But couldn’t, I had a mission to complete. I soon noticed the many feet racing toward me, the other princes weren’t going to like this. Once they caught up they started to ask many questions, I just ignored them even as I got on a horse. I took the map and unrolled it, it was a map with x’s everywhere. One caught my eye, it was alone and in the far right corner of the map. It was on the Mountain of Storms, as it could storm on for weeks with no end. No one has explored there and survived. My head and heart told me to go somewhere else, but my gut told me to go.

“Brian? What is the map for? And why are there so many x’s on it?” it was prince Bryce who asked, his blonde hair seemed to glow in the sun light.

“We have been given a mission by my father, to search for these centenarian creatures. The ones from the fairy tales, and we’re going to look for them at Mountain of Storms first,” I said while guiding my horse south, getting many gasps.

“Your crazy, but so am I. So let’s get our move on!” Anthony yelled jumping onto my horse, who buck in fear. And with his hand turning into a big furry paw, the prince of the wolves had chosen to ride with me. Prince Jonathan’s laugh broke the air.

“Yeah, you’re both crazy! There is no way I’m going there! I might be able to control water, but I’m not dying over there! For a fairy tale!” Jon yelled, and could see the rest of the princes behind him.

“Well I already said that in front of all of our parents for you, but apparently they want us to die for nothing. So shut up and let’s go before night falls,” I said as my horse took off, “ We could be there at dawn in two days if we start now!”

Anthony and I were soon joined by other horses as we made our way in the thick forest. It was hard to dodge the low hanging branches, but they left only small cuts in their path. I could even feel Anthony fall asleep on my shoulder, his muzzle rested there for a good hour or two. He only woke up because he was hungry, but he still had an hour before we have to set up a camp. I would often look over to see Evan and Tyler goofing off, I had to yell a few times but they’re fine. But at this moment I stopped my steed, causing theirs to stop and threw them off their backs. I got of my horse and tied his lead to a nearby tree, the others doing the same. Both Tyler and Evan took forever to do the same with their horses, I didn’t know getting out of a bush was so hard.

By the time they finished that the camp was made, with Anthony and Arlan out hunting. I took out the map again, and everyone hoarded around my shoulders to see it. I was taking in what routs to take, but with everyone breathing on your neck it was kinda hard. With a huff of anger I rolled up the map and walked off, with David close behind.

“How do ye like the leader roll?” he asked as we walked out of camp, his hand rested on my shoulder stopping me.

“I don’t know, I just can’t figure out why my dad would send us on this mission,” I huffed, “My dad does everything for a reason. But this mission would never interest him.”

David walked in front of me, “Well ye don’t need to worry about his reason right now. Ye have to worry about how to get in and out of the deadly mountain.”

I nodded taking out the map again, this time Bryce joined me. He said nothing and looked at the map, scanning the trails leading to the mountain. He then pointed to a rather scary path, a path with many things in the way. I looked up at him and shook my head, it was too dangerous. He kept his finger there and nodded with a frown, right about now everyone could see our silent fight. I yet again shook my head, and lets just say this went on over and over again.

“Why the hell do you have a death wish, that path is too dangerous! So Bryce this path will kill us, not help us!” I shouted in anger, Bryce never flinched and stood there with a frown.

“Did you forget what I can do? I can look at any map and look at it at this moment of time! I can see dangers on the other paths, while this path is clear. So no, I don’t have a death wish. We’ll head that why in the morning Brian. Trust me I know what I’m doing,” Bryce scoffed and walked back into the camp, and with a quick check, I ran into the darkening forest.

I ran for a few minutes and grabbed my bow, I quickly put on my goggles. Everything became brighter with a tint of red, and who does Bryce think he is? It’s my job now to look after them, and not him bossing me around like a little kid. I could hear a small rustle from the bush up in front of me snapping me back to reality. I quickly notched my bow, and carefully watched the bush. Within seconds a rather large buck made its way into the open, I pulled back the string and let it go. The arrow found its way to the heart, killing the deer that was going to give us all the food we need. I walked up to the dead buck and took it by the antlers, and started to pull it back to camp. The forest around me became colder as I grew closer to camp, and I stopped to listen to the rather loud conversation.

“Why did you let him leave? Are you crazy!” a voice belonging to the one and only prince Ryan yelled.

“Well he was mad and with him dead we could leave. We could all go home and not kill ourselves,” a very sleepy prince Lui chimed.

“Well he’s the one with the map! And out of all of us, he would be able to live through the night. And think of his kingdom, it wouldn't have an heir. Meaning a potential civil war!” the price of land hissed, Arlan always thinks kingdom first, yourself second.

“Well we aren’t going into that death of a mountain! Then none of kingdoms will have heirs,” the prince of water growled, his mask made him much more terrifying. I was about to yell out for some help when Bryce spoke up.

“I see why he wants to go there first, to get the most dangerous and most possible place out of the way. So we all can return home, and we won’t die there. People die on the way back, because the mountain doesn’t provide food. Okay, fight over. Go to sleep!” he hushed, and everything grew quiet.

“Can someone help me with this deer?” I yelled getting a few gasps, and lots of feet rushing my way.

Tyler was the first to reach me, and the first one to help me drag it into camp. Craig was the second, Bryce was the third and final person to come help. I could see why, a lot of us were asleep, and the others were still mad at me. Bryce and I left Tyler to cut up the deer, I just hope I’m doing the right thing. Bryce sure thinks so, but I can’t help but doubt myself.

Once Arlan and Anthony got back we all sat around the the fire. All except for Luke, Jon, and Marcel who were all passed out in their tents. We all, except for Ryan, ate rabbit or Arlan’s deer. I quietly ate as everyone chatted with each other. As I finished my mind had been cluttered with all the thoughts of failure. I got up and went to my tent, I laid down on the padding and found it quite hard to sleep. But as the night grew later, my eyes grew tired of watching the tent roof. Leaving them to close and let myself sleep. 

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Last

#expedition au #bbs #vanossgaming #the gaming terroriser #i am wildcat #Lui Calibre #ohmwrecker #bryce mcquaid #MiniLadd #daithi de nogla #silent droidd #h20 delirious #Cartoonz #basicallyidowrk #BigJigglyPanda #407

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 40: "What's the buzz?"

#Paula reads SBR #Chapter 40 #Sandman sighting #all 3 seconds of him #Norisuke is already pissing me off #KONO DIO DA #like Valentine is actually going to give an island to some uppity Briton #he got his coming one day #it's gonna be good #TODAY IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE HIM BROKEN LIKE THAT #GET REKT DIO #also good luck Lucy #Johnny is surprisingly nice today #Araki will make us pay for it next chapter won't he? #Steel Ball Run spoilers #Part 7 spoilers

[lindyhunt]

The Ultimate Guide to Viral Campaigns

   “He once ran a marathon because it was on his way. Sharks have a week dedicated to him. Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect.”

Have you heard of him before? Yes, he’s “The Most Interesting Man in the World”— a fictional character that drinks Dos Equis beer and stars in the company’s viral commercials.

The commercials — which make me laugh every time — are part advertisement, part comedy skit and have a similar theme so fans always know when they’re watching a Dos Equis advertisement.

The company targets its audience of sophisticated beer drinkers in an engaging, creative, and humorous way through TV, social media, and YouTube. The unique campaign created fans around the world that helped spread it across multiple platforms, so much so that people even dress up as the commercial's main character for Halloween. 

Dos Equis may not have been 100% sure that their campaign would take off the way it did, but they had a good idea about its potential popularity. 

Similarly, there is no guaranteed way to ensure your content goes viral, but there are certain steps you can take to give your marketing campaign the best chance at success.

  Many marketers hope for a campaign to go viral — meaning it's recognized, widely-accepted, and influential. But there's no guaranteed formula. However, if you think about some of your favorite viral marketing campaigns, you'll notice some common features. Marketers wanting to reach a bigger audience should keep these attributes in mind when creating their next campaign:

1. It appeals to a target audience.

A successful viral marketing campaign considers the target audience. For any campaign to go viral, it needs to resonate with the audience and make them feel so strongly about your content that they decide to share it with their family, friends, and followers.

Determine who your target audience is in the earliest stages of your campaign creation. To achieve this, ask questions such as: Who do I want to connect with? What content would they feel passionate about? What are their hopes, dreams, and values? Why would they care about my campaign? What will can I do to make them want to share my content with their social network?

2. It has a strong visual strategy.

Viral marketing campaigns require a visual strategy — this guides potential customers to understand your brand through the use of images.

A campaign should tell a story and that story is best told using visual elements that resonate with your audience. Your visual strategy needs to be compatible with your brand and target audience — it should be interesting, informative, and contain some element of intrigue, such as humor or hope.

3. It's highly creative.

Think about your favorite viral marketing campaign. What sets it apart from others?

Marketing campaigns don’t go viral unless they have a unique, interesting, and innovative idea behind them — your campaign needs to be something new and attention-grabbing.

4. It has emotional appeal. 

Have you seen the Dove Real Beauty Sketches campaign? It makes you feel frustrated, insecure, strong, and confident in just a few minutes.

Each commercial shows a person sitting behind a curtain describing their appearance while an artist — who cannot see them — draws their portrait. After the individual is done describing his or her features and the portrait is complete, the curtain is removed. The artist then draws a second portrait of the individual based off what they actually see.

After the second portrait is finished, the artist places the two drawings next to each other. As you can probably imagine, the portrait derived from the individual’s self-description is less attractive than what the artist draws in the second portrait.

In fact, in each video throughout the campaign, the portrait that the artist creates is a much brighter and more realistic depiction of the individual. This is a message about self-esteem and the beauty within all of us.

The campaign went viral because of its relatability and emotional appeal. You need to make your audience feel something — otherwise, why would they want to share your content?

5. It's easy to share and promote.

Thanks to the internet and social media, sharing and promoting your content with the rest of the world is pretty simple. You don’t need huge sums of money to produce successful photo or video content that can be consumed by the greater population. 

For something to actually go viral, it needs to be shared over and over again. This means you and your company need to share the content first in as many places — and in as many ways — as possible. Then, you need to make it easy for your audience to share it as well.

Enable sharing, embedding, and downloading capabilities on all of your content so your viewers can tag their parents on Facebook, message their best friends on Instagram, or download your video so they can easily turn your content into a memorable GIF. Create calls-to-action or elements that encourage people to send it to their friends. 

Think about asking a celebrity to promote your content if an influencer would fit with your overall message and add value to your campaign. For example, viewers may find your insurance commercial more entertaining and share-worthy if Peyton Manning or Brad Paisley are singing.

6. It's published at the right time.

You should also consider the date and time that you share your content. Marketers use major holidays — such as Christmas — as well as major events, like the presidential race and the Super Bowl, to their advantage.

More people are scrolling through their social media feeds, watching TV, and keeping up with current events during these times which causes marketers to spend more money on their campaigns. 

Similarly, anyone who uses a platform like Instagram knows what I’m talking about when I say the date and time of your posts matter.

For example, if you post on a Saturday at 8 p.m., most people are out at dinner, seeing a movie, or just hanging out with friends — meaning they are most likely not browsing their newsfeed ... at least not as much as they do on Tuesdays. 

After all of this sharing and promoting, you need to wait and see whether or not people latch onto your content. If so, you could have created a viral campaign. If not, you may have to try again.

Read this blog to learn about the reasons why some older campaigns stand the test of time.

The Advantages of Viral Marketing Campaigns

Creating a viral marketing campaign isn’t an easy or predictable achievement. But if your campaign does go viral, it can mean thousands or even millions of new people being introduced to your brand and buying your products — money in the bank!

For example, the Dollar Shave Club’s campaign video went viral, which made them a household name. They were then acquired by Unilever for $1 billion — not bad.

Here are a few more advantages of producing viral content:

1. They can build your brand.

When a marketing campaign goes viral, your audience automatically learns about your company, products, services, and brand. This includes people who may not have ever heard about your company otherwise. This is how some small companies make their “big break” and how large companies stay relevant.

2. They don’t require a large budget.

Some of the most successful viral content is created on a low budget. These days, individuals and companies of any size can film high-quality video and take professional-looking photos all on an iPhone.

Many content creators, or people who simply upload a random video, have found themselves become famous almost overnight. It’s not about the resources and budget — it’s all about what catches the attention of the internet. Marketers don’t always need a large-scale production with a celebrity to make their campaign funny, surprising, relatable, or informational. 

Fun fact:Jonathan Goldsmith, the man behind the “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials, had only done a few gigs prior getting his big break when the campaign went viral. 

3. They get your brand in front of a new (and larger) audience.

Campaigns are considered “viral” when they have a large reach. Companies may experience an increase in sales, greater engagement on social media, and a boost in conversation about their brand and products.

This is exactly what happened for Smart Water when they brought Jennifer Aniston on board for their campaign in 2012. The video has over 6 million views on YouTube, and their humorous campaigns have done so well with the public that Aniston was featured in them through 2017.

3 of the Most Famous Viral Campaigns

Now that we have reviewed the features of successful viral campaigns and how to launch one yourself, let’s dive into some of the most popular viral campaigns ever created.

Old Spice: “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like”

Old Spice found that women are the ones to purchase men’s personal hygiene products, so they created an ad that spoke directly to this audience.

The “Old Spice Man” talks directly to the audience in a bold, confident, and humorous way. He tells women that anything is possible when your man uses Old Spice — all while he sails the ocean shirtless, turns sports tickets into diamonds, and rides a white horse on the beach.

This campaign went viral because … well … humor works. It was so successful that it even increased sales for the brand. The commercial has received over 55 million views on YouTube, won an Emmy for Outstanding Commercial at the Creative Arts Primetime Emmy Awards, and won the Film Grand Prix at the Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival.

ALS: “Ice Bucket Challenge”

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge began four years ago and was created to raise awareness for the debilitating disease. For the challenge, you had to pour ice cold water over your entire body and then nominate a friend to do the same. This became a movement that raised $115 million in the summer of 2014 alone. Because ... who doesn’t want to watch a family member or friend pour freezing cold water on their head?

Celebrities from around the world started participating, challenging their famous friends, donating, and raising awareness. There was an Ice Bucket Challenge hashtag that gained popularity allowing for the videos to spread easily over multiple social media channels.

Most importantly — the challenge is fun and makes participants feel like a part of a bigger movement, which is why it remains relevant years later.

Always “#LikeAGirl”

This video became a major hit because it directly addressed how phrases that are so commonly used can be detrimental to someone's self image and confidence. In the video, various men, women, and young boys are asked to "run like a girl" or "fight like a girl". Then young girls are asked to do the same, with a very different approach: They show strength and confidence in their movements. 

It made viewers recognize how quickly we use female-oriented phrases as insults, and that doing something #LikeAGirl should be seen as inspiring and brave. 

The original TV commercial that came out in 2014 has over 65-million views on Youtube, and the hashtag — #LikeAGirl — remains popular today.

For more great examples of viral video marketing campaigns, check out this blog.

Conclusion

There is no roadmap for making your content “go viral.” You can review what has been successful in the past and try to emulate this, but ultimately, it’s about creating great content that connects with your audience and makes them want to share it. Do this, and you just might find that your brand is the one everyone is talking about. 

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 39: "You're welcome?"

#Paula reads SBR #Chapter 39 #Gyro is confusing me again #KONO DIO DA #and now he's out! #GET REKT DIO #they should have gone back to finish him though #he will be MAD #HOORAY VIOLENCE #BLACKMORE NO #OH NO HE'S HOT #also a lunatic #also dead #it was good while it lasted #pressing F #Part 7 spoilers #Steel Ball Run spoilers