#like for my job i start next week im living at home so pretty much all my salary is going into savings
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ TALES OF CANDOR (LN4)
pairing: lando norris x f!author!reader
summary: lando’s girlfriend has a secret identity. she’s not quite the girl next door everyone assumed, and he might just be the inspiration for more than just her instagram captions.
warnings: some hate comments
* faceclaim: mélanie, aka wailcester on ig (please imagine her as you see fit)
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris some days @ home
👤 tagged yourusername
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user i hope ur enjoying ur time off!
user no hate but like what does his gf actually do?
user literally nothing she’s jobless💀
user it’s giving🏅👷♀️
user lando i love u but half naked pics of ur girl isn’t helping how much we dislike her…
user what’s she reading!!!
yourusername a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini!!
user ofc u are. i totally believe u acc read well written books. u probably just read gossip columns but want to seem interesting🙄
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor biscuit approves of the final draft🤍
👤 tagged acatcalledbiscuit
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user HELLO??? CANDOR DOES THIS MEAN WE R GETTING A NEW BOOK
user i love that we know more abt candy’s cat than we do her…
user can’t wait to read it🥹🥹
rickriordan has to be my favorite thing you’ve written!
user RICK’S READ IT??? OH YOU KNOW ITS GOOD
user lando norris in the likes he’s just like all of us fr
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername ‘when she finally got the camera film developed, seeing his face made it all come rushing back’🦋🫧🧚🏻
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user im sorry i know we r meant to be supportive but she annoys me sm. is she just living off of lando’s money?
user omg the caption!!!
user i recognise it, where’s it from?
user it’s from ‘tales of peter rourke’ by candor!!!
user 🤢
user we get it… ur dating someone rich. now get a job!
ੈ✩‧₊˚ mclaren interview
[captions:
interviewer: what have you been up to in your break?
lando: a lot of lounging around with my girlfriend. read a few books too!
interviewer: anything good?
lando: i’m really into magical reality at the moment! that kind of it’s all normal till it’s not stuff, you know?
interviewer: any good recommendations?
lando: if you like that same genre, i recommend ‘the right side of upside’ by candor! it’s pretty recent, i finished it last week.]
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user he likes candor??? he’s so real for that
user KNEW I COULD TRUST HIM
user bad taste in women good taste in books
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor thank you for all the love lately on ‘the right side of upside’. insane seeing so many of you recommend it, biscuit and i are eternally grateful. love, candy🤍
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user QUEEN DID YOU SEE LANDO RECOMMENDED IT
user CANDY HAS A MAN???
user love u forever ur so talented
user CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT. CANT BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WAIT NOW
musingsofcandor it might be sooner than you think ;)
user UM. candor is this a soft launch?????
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris got some super helpful race advice today
👤 tagged acatnamedbiscuit, musingsofcandor
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user OH MY GOD MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING
user LANDO WE NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING IS SHE CUTE I FEEL LIKE SHES CUTE
user break up w ur gf and date candor when
musingsofcandor biscuit says he can’t be held responsible for the outcome🐾
landonorris can i hold you responsible instead, candy?
user UHHHH WHATS GOING ON HERE
user i just know y/n is feeling THREATENED
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername all mine
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user LMAOOO U STARTED SWEATING HUH
user candor could steal ur man if she really wanted to
user GIRL YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS
landonorris yours🖤
user STOP LYINGGGG
ੈ✩‧₊˚ an exclusive interview with candor : entertainment weekly
interviewer: so candor! tell us how it really feels having the world at your feet!
candor: [laughing] honestly quite normal! it’s a blessing and a curse, really, not having my identity revealed. i get to live my life without those pressures, but i don’t get to see anyone and thank them for reading!
interviewer: do you ever get the urge to approach someone reading one of your books?
candor: all the time! whenever i go browsing in book stores and see someone looking at or buying mine, i have such a temptation to scream THANK YOU at them!
interviewer: do you see a future in which you reveal your identity?
candor: maybe! there are a few of my fans who know who i am, those who attend the secret events and signings, but i’m very lucky that they all respect my privacy and haven’t shared anything further. perhaps one day soon i’ll finally let everyone in on the secret.
interviewer: and we can’t talk to you and not bring up your cat — or rather, who your cat met the other day…?
candor: oh! i’m assuming you mean lando norris? yes! he’s a pretty good friend of mine, he’s been a big support over the last few years and we found some time in our schedules last week to meet up.
interviewer: so you’re a formula 1 fan?
candor: huge fan! i’m a big mclaren girl so lando and i met through their events!
interviewer: oh fantastic! see folks reading this, she really is just like us!
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername cars going vroom vroom makes my heart go boom boom
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user lmao posting before and after candor’s interview. girl ur not subtle.
user im so sorry but ur clearly so threatened it’s hilarious
user i don’t get all the hate in here??? she’s just in love n happy?
user shes a gold digger
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor told you it wouldn’t be long🫧 ‘thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat’ will be with you next friday. a lot of love poured into this one over the past few years, i just couldn’t wait any longer to give it to you🤍
already a member on my website? check your emails🦋
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user WHDHSJSJSJSJS
user OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING
user THE EMAILLLLL🥹
user candy omg where do you live that looks so pretty!!!!
musingsofcandor monaco !!
landonorris 🖤
user lando using the black heart and candor using the white… i’m sorry to his gf (not really) but they’re meant to be
ੈ✩‧₊˚ user just posted a photo
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user the best day of my life!!! thank you so much candor for being the absolute sweetest human and taking time to talk to each and every one of us! i cannot wait to read thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat🥹🤍
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user YOU MET HERRRRE???
user WHO IS SHE TELL TELL TELL
user candor asks us not to share her identity so i’m gonna respect that but LET ME TELL YOU I WAS SHOCKED
user i recognise her from just that inch of her face but i can’t tell whERE FROM
musingsofcandor it was WONDERFUL to meet you! i hope you enjoy the story🤍
user wish people on twitter were as kind as this,,, there’s photos of her going around :/
ੈ✩‧₊˚ f1wags just posted a photo
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f1wags the internet has been in PIECES after famous author candor’s recent book signing. photos have emerged of the popular anonymous author from the event, revealing her to be none other than LANDO NORRIS’ GIRLFRIEND, Y/N! turns out, she has a job after all👀 (pictures taken from y/n’s instagram!)
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user i… cannot believe this
user see. when y’all were hating on her you were secretly worshipping her
user @ everyone who was an arse to y/n… KARMA IS A BITCH!
user WHAT????
user HOLY SHIT LANDO HAS BEEN DATING MY FAV AUTHOR THIS WHOLE TIME????
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername well. the secrets out. it’s been a long few years, but it’s nice to not have to hold it in any more.
both my accounts will remain active for separate purposes, but i’m excited to be able to introduce you to candor as she is in her whole truth — just like her name suggests🤍
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user ironically this is exactly how i picture marian elsie from thomasine jeffe looking. full fairy
user i am. so sorry. so so so sorry. i know nothing can ever compare for the things we said but i really am
yourusername thank you. no hard feelings on my end🤍
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris my candy. it may not have been how you intended, but i’m glad i get to show off how proud of you i am.
i’ve watched you as both candor and y/n for a while now, and i love both versions of you entirely. i cannot wait to see what you do now you have the freedom to be whoever you want to.
and hey, pretty cool to be able to say i’m the inspiration behind some of your characters, huh?🖤
ps. so glad i can finally share photos of mY CAT. even if he does hate me biscuit is MINE as well
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user love the clarification that the most important thing to lando is sharing photos of his cat😭😭
user MORE PICS OF BISCUIT PLEASE
user i’ve always been in love with her i can say that confidently
user oh so you’re a successful fanboy
yourusername biscuit told me to tell u ur smelly for using him for likes
landonorris you literally said to me omg i can post about biscuit now YOU FEEL THE SAME DONT LIE
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor i’ve had a bit of inspiration for some time🤍
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user MOM AND DAD
user i can’t believe this. my worlds are colliding
user I KNEW CAPTAIN ROURKE FELT FAMILIAR IN THE TALES OF PETER ROURKE
user i can’t believe my fav ever love interest is based on lando….
landonorris i love you. thanks for immortalising me🖤
————
a/n: hello hello! another one whilst i recover!
so this was based on an anon request and i have had so much fUN writing it!!!! whilst i don’t normally do requests generally due to being overwhelmed easily, this one stood out to me as i Love books so i was inspired. to the anon who requested, i hope this is what you imagined🤍
in terms of further requests! whilst i can’t promise i’ll do them, if you have any pressing ideas you think would work with my style , do feel free to send them in ! i always love to hear your ideas (and any thoughts on my works!! please send feedback as well!!) and will try gradually to get through some🤍
fun fact: all the book titles are based on actual books i have written hehe
fun fact pt2: yes her pseudonym is chosen bc i watched divergent last night
taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35
#f1 x reader#f1#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris au#mclaren#lando norris blurb#lando norris scenario#lando norris one shot#lando norris smau
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sneaking out - t.c x fem!reader
posted jan 21st, 2024 10:50 am
@dingus85 asked : May I request a Tara Carpenter x fem!reader based on Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift where they have been sneaking out to the beach every night (scenario 5). This time they’re just being stupid, and reader accidentally confesses that she likes her. Somewhere in the fic Tara uses one liner 18.
im so sorry for the wait love, I hope u enjoy.
masterlist
not proofread
wordcount: 0.9k
It was Chad’s idea to have one big group vacation for the summer, a simple nearly 50-hour road trip from New York to California. A few weeks on the beach to help everyone recover from the first semester of college and some time for Sam and Tara to learn how to be away from each other again.
Every small-town kid needs a Beach Vacation, right? Well actually, your plans for the summer were to find a good job but just when you wanted to argue, Mindy pointed out that you could share a room with Tara, and Tara responded by clapping her hands together, smiling at you and
“We’ll have so much fun!”
How could you say no to that?
Everyone had taken turns driving, except for Mindy, her job was to make sure everyone had enough snacks and to ensure you’d make it to the Airbnb in one piece.
You were lucky enough to find one on the beach, giving easy access to the water and the sand that Mindy soon found to be an incredible nuisance, Anika was enjoying the chance to dress up in different beach weather outfits and there was also the perfect spot to play volleyball which Chad forced everyone to do.
And then there were you and Tara, you had the same favorite part of this vacation and it was the late-night bonfires.
You had only one with all of you involved but the following night you both snuck out together to start up another one, and this quickly became routine for the both of you.
You couldn’t help but enjoy this silly game you were playing in your head even if Tara didn’t realize you were playing at all. Sharing a bed, waking up early enough to make breakfast, making the bed, and taking turns to shower after beach days just to sneak off and come back smelling like firewood.
It was perfect for you, and maybe it was for Tara too, but obviously, you weren’t going to ask.
Tonight was one of your last nights in California and none of you were ready to leave, except Mindy, who wanted to go home the first week. But of course, you were most worried about going home, everything would go back to normal and you could no longer live in your little bubble with Tara and her soft smiles and giggly laughs,
and your little sneak-out “dates” that were just for you and Tara.
But that just meant you had to make the most of it, which leads you outside sitting on an old beach towel next to the pretty girl, watching the pit of flames dance before your eyes.
“I’m not ready to go home yet, I like sneakin’ out with you.” Tara’s voice caught your attention, turning to look at her as she spoke. She was thinking the same as you. “We could always sneak out together back in New York” You spoke in the same quiet tone, as if you weren’t allowed to speak louder than the sound of the sea.
Tara pouted, “It’s not the same, though.” Oh. You nodded in agreement looking back at the fire.
“I wanna go swimming,” She said suddenly, standing up and taking off her sweater, well your sweater, you had let her wear. “Tara, you’ll freeze” You smiled, knowing she wouldn’t listen anyway as she was already walking towards the water, tossing her sweatpants to you as you laughed.
You watched amused as she eventually made it to the water, she hesitated, “C’mon, my girl Tara Carpenter doesn’t back down from stupid stuff!” You called out in a teasing tone, hearing her laugh as she threw her head back before running straight into the water, “Holy shit!” she yelled, squealing as she resurfaced.
You laughed as Tara ran back up to you, soaking wet and gratefully thanking you as you put the towel around your shoulders. “That was so stupid” she laughed, shivering slightly as you rubbed her arms, laughing with her as you attempted to warm her up.
“That is why I like you so much” You had barely noticed the words come out as Tara’s smile softened, staring at you with a tilted head and puppy dog eyes. “What?” Tara’s voice was quieter now, still having a slightly shaky tone as she was still freezing.
“What?” you repeated the question, you could backtrack, sure but Tara wasn’t stupid, she wouldn’t believe that no matter how well you sold it she saw it in your eyes,
you’re so screwed, you almost laughed.
“What did you say? You like me?” Tara’s grip on the towel tightened a little, that soft look on her face capturing you the way it always did. You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, not knowing how to explain yourself in a way that made sense but Tara spoke up instead.
“Come here and kiss me, dummy” She smiled, and you didn’t want to waste any time as your hands moved to her face and pulled her in, cold, soft lips hitting yours as if they were meant to be on yours. Tara abandoned the towel to hold your wrists.
“You are so catching a cold,” You said through heavy breaths earning a sweet laugh in response.
“Yeah, but you’ll take care of me.” you smiled at that because obviously you would.
“Yeah, I will.” You said, Tara smiled back.
“I think I will sneak out with you back in New York.”
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x female reader#scream x reader#scream imagines#scream imagine#scream fanfiction#tara carpenter imagine#Spotify
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Javi p x reader where ummm uhhh he is gone for long trip (post Columbia, where they’re on the ranch and his new job occasionally has to travel) and reader wears his clothes bc they miss him/clothes smell like him and javi comes home early to reader in his clothes and he’s like oh my goddd ur sooo cute and he just scoops reader up and idk it is cute
yes. this is the prompt. thank you anon sending you forehead kisses for life.
Away
Summary: Javier’s gone on a trip, and you just can’t help but miss him. lots of fluff. im a SLAVE for soft javi negl.
Wordcount: 1.4k
Pairing: Javier Peña x female! reader
Warnings: just a lot of domestic fluff and a little angst. some kissing and slightly suggestive language towards the end. also a little bit of swearing too. let me know if this works, anon!
masterlist. ao3.
part 2
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Even the coffee didn’t taste the same when he wasn’t here. Laredo had been perfect, a much required (and welcome) change in pace after Colombia. You’d met Javi working as an assistant of the Ambassador, practically detesting him at first.
He’d sauntered into your office, batted his lashes at you (no, seriously), complimented your nails, and just oh-so-casually asked you to get him some paperwork he had absolutely no business looking at. So you’d just clicked your pretty nails (his words) in his face and told him to get the fuck out and come back when you’ve got your head out of your ass.
Two weeks later, he’d just shown up again - sheepish, with proper coffee as a bribe this time - and asked for ten minutes with your boss. Impressed by his newly-discovered manners, you’d gotten him twenty minutes with the guy and helped sway him into authorizing a mission the Ambassador normally wouldn’t even have looked at.
The next morning, there’d been flowers on your desk with a little note scrawled in chickenscratch. Thank you, hermosa. Sorry for being an ass last time. I like the new nails too, maybe you could show them to me up close sometime? You’d exaggeratedly rolled your eyes and thrown the note in the trash, of course, but you couldn’t quite keep the grin off your face that whole week. Nor the week after that, when he took you out, and you did, in fact, give him a fully immersive tactileexperience of that new set of acrylics you’d gotten before the note.
Soon, the arrangement evolved from just sex to practically living together. You never spoke about it; Javi just had a closet in your home and his toothbrush in your bathroom. You went out for anniversary dinners without calling them anniversary dinners; flowers and coffee kept mysteriously showing up at your desk; and his informants started getting paid more and fucked less. By the time Javi left the DEA for good, you both had spent too many years by each other’s sides to change the routine. So the apartment was packed up, tickets to Laredo were brought, and you’d just followed him down here.
It was like just breathing Laredo air was enough to change the man. He’d asked you to marry him practically a week after you met Chucho, who had welcomed you with open arms. Obviously, you said yes, and you lived happily ever. Or as close to it as you could get with his work stealing him away most of the time. It made you laugh, the way you were still waiting on him to come back from his trips - but atleast they weren’t to Bogota anymore; your heart stuck in your throat the whole time he was away because what if he didn’t come back?
No, now that fear had long-faded - and though it flared up at times - a pathetic yearning took its place. Instead of being worried about Javi, you missed him when he was gone, counting down the days like a kid at summer camp waiting to go home. And in a way, you were waiting for your home too.
You loved Chucho, and Laredo, and your new job and all the comforts life had given you here, but the apartment just felt cold and empty when Javi wasn’t next to you. Waking you up with slow, languid kisses in the morning, laughing when you grumbled and rolled over - only to tickle you awake, instead. That cocky grin he got when he realised you were too short to reach something, coming up behind you to pull it down and immediately kissing your forehead because of course you were struggling and of course you were too stubborn to ask him for help. The tough poker face he put on before making one of those witty quips that made you laugh until there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t stop giggling because it was so ridiculous.
His laugh, his kisses, his smell and his warmth - you missed all of it so fucking much - but you’d never so much as indicate that to him, of course. It was something you’d promised yourself back when the two of you were just a newly-transferred secretary and a DEA agent who might have happened to be in the same bar a few too many times on weekends; you never wanted to make it harder for him to leave, to make him feel like he had to choose between you and his job.
Today, you felt his lack of presence a bit more than normal; it was a day off and you had nothing to do. You and Javi would have spent half the day lounging on the couch and watching terrible movies, taking turns to put on quirky voices for scathing commentaries, ordered takeout and gotten into bed. To either sleep like the dead or get no sleep at all, depending on the mood.
You could go out, but you just didn’t want to meet people right now. You’d had dinner with Chucho a few days ago, which meant you couldn’t just show up at the ranch unannounced and say you’re bored, either. Not that he would mind, but he’d spent the day showing you how to make tamales and that had understandably thrown his work schedule off a bit and you didn’t want to make it worse.
So you showered and pulled out one of Javi’s sleep shirts and boxers, reveling in their comfort before curling up on the bed. You were flicking through the channels, bored out of your mind, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. “Cariño? It’s me.” The second his voice came from the other side, you were stumbling across the room to unlock the door and wrench it open. Beaming, you barely got to look at him before he was bursting through, throwing his bag down and he’d just scooped you up into his arms with practiced ease.
Walking you to the bed, he set you down gently before manoevring you both so that you were in his lap. Tugging at the hem of his shirt, his smile widened. “What’s this, hm?” A teasing tone crept into his voice as you flushed and looked away, biting your lip. You didn’t show affection easily, and you’d never worn any of his shirts before - scared of coming off as too needy, too clingy - even when you were married to the man, for god’s sake.
Watching you blush, Javi tilted your chin to make you look at him as his lips twisted into a smirk, leaning in to pepper kisses all over your face and giving you reprieve only when you squealed, pushing at his chest while giggling uncontrollably. “Did you miss me, honey?” Your shy nod just made him chuckle, gripping your chin to pull you into a deep, open-mouthed kiss. “You’re fuckin’ adorable, you know that? Walking around wearing my clothes when I’m not around - refusing to admit you missed me when I heard you trip on your way to the door.” The twinkle in his eye is only getting brighter with each word, and you’re struggling to meet his eye by the end of it. You knew he found it amusing - the fact that your usually foul-mouthed, unyielding nature; the woman who hadclicked her nails in his fucking face the first time they’d met - melted away to become all shy and flustered, just for him.
“Don’t laugh” you huff, burying your face in his neck to avoid meeting his eye because that was honestly just making your blush deeper. He just snickers again, the asshole, before kissing your forehead and mumbling softly.
“‘Course not, sweetheart. Hated being away, y’know? ‘N then I got home, and you just looked so cute in my shirt dwarfing you that I jus’ couldn’t help myself.” You leaned back, with a teasing grin of your own.
“Couldn’t help yourself? Sounds like you’ve gotta make up for laughing at your poor wife now, Mr Peña.” You peered up at him through your lashes, watching him catch on with widened eyes before fumbling with the buttons on his shirt and pulling it over his head, hurling it to the floor next to him.
“Come on then, wife. Let’s make amends, huh?”
hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings
#narcos fanfiction#narcos#javier pena narcos#javier peña#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fluff#javi peña x reader#javier pena fic#javier pena imagines#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier peña fluff#javier peña imagine#javier peña x fem!reader#javier peña x female reader#cool-iguana
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I’m yours
“you’re so pretty it hurts”
chap.1 chap.2 chap.3
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader
Warnings: slight cursing, nothing really else.
for the texting, the blue is remus, the pink is you ☹️ sorry for the sexist colors but it’s what i can see best 😭
Getting back to your flat the day after that..interesting experience with your friend you sighed and pulled out the piece of paper the two very charming men gave you, ‘who do i text first?’ you grunted and just put it the first number on the page, with the name ‘Remus’ written over top of it, the handwritting was much neater than his mates, who you came to realize was his boyfriend, or so your friend told you.
“Hello?” 9:48am
“Been waiting for your text, love.” 9:48am
“Stalkerish.” 9:49am
“Don’t be rash, we had a fun time hanging out yesterday.” 9:49am
“We?” 9:49am
“Sirius and I.” 9:50am
Setting your phone down, you let out a huff. Maybe they ARE dating and they’re just playing with your feelings like the fuck boys they make themselves out to be. Looking at the clock, you had 2 hours to shower and get ready to be at work. Putting your hair in two low pigtails and doing a ‘natural’ makeup look, you headed out the door and caught a bus to the small café you’ve worked at for years.
“Don’t ignore us, darling.” 1:03pm
“I’m busy.” 1:11pm
“Busy..mhm..busy doing what?” 1:11pm
“doing my job. I’ve gotta go. bye.” 1:12pm
closing out of your messages, you glanced at the small number digits on your phone 1:13pm, you had 2 minutes before your break was over. “Y/N, today’s a slow day, why don’t you just go home?” you smiled and sighed “alright, thanks penny.” gathering your stuff you went and clocked out at 1:17pm.
“are you still busy?” 1:20pm
“We want to see you” 1:21pm
you looked at the notifications that were filling up your phone ‘don’t want to see you though.’ you thought and pursed your lips. Looking at the long list of shopping you had to get through for next weeks visit from your parents. Feeling your phone vibrate for a third time you opened it and read the message.
“Please, we’re only in town for 3 more weeks and we’d really like to get to know you more.” 1:30pm
“I have a lot of shopping to get through.” 1:32pm
“we’ll accompany you.” 1:32pm
“Fine, im heading to the grocery store near the bar you guys played at, its 4 doors down to the left once your at the entrance.” 1:34pm
Entering the store you huffed, grabbing a basket and pulling out your list- your phone vibrated again, your mom was calling. “Yes mom?” you mentally groaned as you heard her voice screaming at you from the other side of the line, about what? no clue.
The boys had gotten to the store 10 minutes after your text was sent. “well, where is she?” sirius sighed as remus just shrugged. Hearing the faintness of your voice down an isle they both walked over too it, “mom i really- ok.” you just sighed which sent her on another rampage “mom? mom? can’t hear you- yo- your breaking up-..” you groaned and hung up on her. “You alright darling?” Jumping a bit at the sudden voice you sighed “fine. thank you.” you glanced up to the two. “Hi!” sirius chirped and snatched you up for a hug “hello.” wrapping your arms somewhat around him, trying not to make it awkward. “What’re you shopping for?” remus started, as sirius let you pull away from the hug, “dinner- or dinners…my parents and their 3 kids are coming down.” remus nodded and sirius raised an eyebrow “their 3 kids?” you nodded as you proceeded to go down another isle “Im adopted, moved out at like 16, they lived and still do, in a tiny apartment, 2 bedroom so 4 of us had to stay in one.” you huffed, shivering at the thought of your stuff just magically going missing “where do you stay now?” you mentally cringed “One bedroom apartment.” grabbing basically any bag of chips, sodas, Cookies, etc, they begun to question, “is this all their gonna eat?” you giggled slightly “the kids? yeah. my parents actually expect me to cook. but the meat and stuff isn’t on sale yet.” remus glanced towards sirius before they both nodded “well pay-“ you cut them off “no.” sirius whined and started arguing with you “why not?” remus started slowly guiding the basket towards the meat section which made you stop. “because, if i have the meet then i HAVE to cook- just simply telling them they have to suffer with Tv dinners-“ sirius cut you off with a finger to your lips “you survive off of tv dinner?” his face looked distraught “I live alone, why would i cook for one person and wash 3 dishes.” sirius almost went faint, “b-b-but-“ remus shushed him “Love, if that’s how you like it, so be it. but, why don’t you stay with us next week? Sirius and i are renting this house till we go back and i expect it’d be big enough for the 6 of you.” you shook your head “stuff’ll go missing.” remus shrugged “not like any of what we packed was really important, plus our instruments are with james and peter” Sirius cut him off “we decided to bunk separately.” you thought about it “fine but that doesn’t really-“ it was remus’ turn to shush you, “we have our own private chef.” he winked at you and grabbed your hand, leaving the trolley in the middle of the store, slowly guiding you out, “why don’t we go to the park instead-“ they both chimed up in sync you huffed and just nodded, to tired to argue with both of them.
Spending the day with the two big goofs were fun, despite not really wanting too “Love?” you hummed in response, he softly grabbed your hand “it’s late, come back to ours? have dinner with us?” you smiled and just nodded softly “alright.”
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roomies || c.b
summary: you and colby finally decide to start living together.
“why don’t we spend the weekend at your place? so we can have a place to ourselves.” colby suggested. you were on the phone with him, planning your weekend. you agreed to this, and set your plans in place.
friday night rolled around, and you had just finished sprucing up the living room before colby got there. you'd placed your food in enough time for it to arrive around the same time colby said he would get to you.
as it got later and later, you were wondering how much longer it would be until he showed. you picked up your phone, noting the time, and just was you were about to call him, you heard his key fit into the front door lock.
“oh my god, i’m so sorry im late. traffic was the worst getting here.” he said as you walked over to him. he dropped his bags by the door and pulled you into a tight hug.
“it’s friday evening, so that’s to be expected,” you said, pressing a kiss to his lips. “but im glad you’re here now. i’ve been waiting for you to get here so we could eat together.” you said, taking him over to the table.
you sat down and ate dinner, talking about your days and making additional plans for the weekend. after dinner, you and colby sat in the living room, turning on a movie. before it even got too into the story, you both started to fall asleep. you were woken up by a loud noise from the movie, and heard faint snores coming from colby, who was leaning on your shoulder.
“babe, c’mon. let’s go to bed.” you yawned, pulling him up from the couch. you both stumbled into your room and clumsily changed into sleep clothes before flopping into the bed. you made yourself comfortable and colby slid in next to you. he wrapped his arm tight around your waist and nuzzled into the crook of your neck.
“i could stay like this forever.” he whispered. you smiled and gently squeezed his hands.
the weekend you spent together ended up being pretty boring, but you enjoyed nonetheless. you loved getting to spend time with colby. you spent all weekend inside, watching movies and catching up on the shows you watched together, going out only to get food.
once sunday night came around, colby knew he should probably get going, so you could get ready for your work week. he groaned as it got later, knowing that he was going to have to sit in traffic during his drive. he looked up from his phone at you as you loaded your laundry into the washing machine. suddenly, it dawned on him.
he stood from the sofa, and walked over to you, wrapping you in his arms and flushing his chest to your back.
“move in with me.” he said softly. you dropped your laundry basket and turned around to face him.
“what did you just say?”
“lets live together.” he said, placing his hands on your hip.
“my love, you already have two roommates. i don’t think you need a third.”
“why not? you and i both know its absolute hell driving back and forth from our places to see each other. we live too far from each other and i need you closer to me.”
“i mean, i guess thats not a terrible idea. your house is closer to my job. the lease is almost up on this place and i was undecided if i wanted to renew.” you sighed. “you think we’re ready for this?” you asked.
“we’ve been together for almost four years. i think we’re more than ready.” he said with a small smile.
“how come you immediately suggested i move into your house? why cant we get a place of our own?” you asked. realistically, you knew him and sam living together was the best for them in regards to their channel. you loved their home, you just wanted to give him a hard time.
“oh, well, -” he stammered.
“i’m just teasing.” you laughed.
a few months passed, your lease was coming up on it’s end, and you were almost entirely moved into their home. sam and colby were still in the process of furnishing their home, so a lot of your furniture went to use in some of the other rooms. you may have just lived in a one bedroom apartment, but it was still helpful.
the moving process was a little stressful, as you and colby were starting to butt heads about decor. you had a lot of stuff out in your room in your apartment, but he had a certain dark aesthetic to his room. making things match and deciding on what you were going to leave out or put away was already starting to make you think this may not have been a good idea.
on your last day in your apartment, you did a final walkthrough, making sure you had all your things. you took a deep breath, truly mulling over if moving out was truly the best decision.
“well, it’s too late to go back now.” you said aloud. you left, and returned your keys to the office. once you arrived to colby’s house, he met you out in the driveway with a wide smile on his face.
“welcome home!” he said, taking your keys from you.
“what are you doing?” you asked.
“well, you already have a key. i wanted to present it to you as if it were new.” he laughed. he found the key on amongst the others and placed it gently in your hand.
“you’re so weird.” you laughed, kissing him softly. you went inside and up to his room so you could finish unpacking. you were in the closet, putting your clothes up in the space that colby made for you.
once you finished, you walked out into the room and you felt your heart swell at the sight. colby was standing at his shelves, putting up some of the trinkets and other things you had out in your room at home.
“what do you think?” he asked.
“i think it looks perfect.” you smiled.
“me too.” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “i told you we were ready for this.” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
later that night, while you were getting to bed, you set your phone down on the nightstand and started taking your jewelry off. you were caught off guard by a new addition to the area on the top of the nightstand.
“did you put this here?” you asked, pointing to it. it was a framed picture of you and colby from a little photoshoot you did on your first anniversary, which you had sitting on your nightstand back home.
“yeah. i found it in your stuff, and i know you had it out in your room. i figured you’d like to have it out here too. its a cute picture of us.” he explained.
you climbed into the bed and leaned over, pressing a deep kiss to his lips.
“i love you. so much.” you said, kissing him again.
“i love you too.” he said with a smile, the two of you sharing another kiss.
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oddly specific kurt kunkle request? reader works in retail and one day they complain to their boyfriend kurt about a regular customer (a creepy old man who keeps hitting on reader and making them super uncomfortable), so kurt kills the creepy dude?
i have a guy at my job that is literally a fucking perv so i had some ideas LMFAO
“it’s just really pissing me off,” you ranted as you paced around the living room. “this dude has to be like 60 years old, i’m telling you… and he wouldn’t stop putting his hand on my back every time he made me bend down to show him the stupid iphone chargers.”
kurt watched you, his head turning every direction you went in. he was sitting on the couch furious, his arms crossed against his chest. he was sick with the thoughts of some creepy old man taking advantage of your store’s customer service policy just to get close to you.
“that’s so messed up,” he sighed, laying his back against the leather cushion. “did you tell anybody?”
“yes!” you threw your arms up in anger. “i told like two of mycoworkers on the registers and they just tried to tell me he was ‘being nice.’ it’s a load of bullshit.”
you hated your retail job. you hated it so much. you worked at a failing business that tended to only attract older people with no clue of social norms. mostly it was just having to deal with out of touch people, mean and grumpy at your explanations, and help. you learned to deal with it, your benefits were nice and you got a decent paycheck, but some days you wanted to just chop your head off in front of the whole store to scar everyone in sight. maybe that would make people start to change.
you just learned to cope the best you could, but today was different.
“maybe bring it up with your general manager?” he tried to propose a solution. “i don’t know, i-i’ve never really worked retail before.”
“i wish it was that simple,” you sat down next to him. “he comes in every week and is normal to everyone else, except me. i just feel gross, like i want to cut off the chunk of skin he kept touching.”
“i’m sorry,” he put an arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer and touching his head to yours. “it will get better, maybe just bring his name up to one of your managers and maybe he will get banned.”
“i guess you are right,” you turned to face him. “thank you for letting me rant to you, i know that was probably annoying and all.”
“no,” he kissed your cheek. “it wasn’t at all, im glad you told me.”
he had so many thoughts racing through his head, he could see this man touching you, your face of pure disgust and worry. it made him so enraged, his fingernails digging into his palm as he tried his best to contain himself. he got pretty good at masking his anger, especially in front of you. he never wanted to scare you off with the dark thoughts and actions that ran through him.
he had a plan though. he knew this guy’s routine from all your stories you had told him the last few weeks. he thought about stalking the store, seeking out the guy, following him home, and then beating the ever living shit out of him. watching the older man’s frail bones break as kurt just broke him into a million pieces.
-
“hey uh, it’s (y/n), was just calling to see if you are okay, it’s been like three hours since you got done driving and you said you were bringing dinner. just call me back when you get the chance, just a little worried.”
it was already eight pm and you hadn’t heard anything from kurt since he got off of spreeing for the day. you texted him a few times, shocked when he wasn’t quick to answer. that boy practically lives on his phone, he texts you a billion times a day checking in on you, but today was different. you tried to just tell yourself that he got caught up in something, maybe his dad needed a ride somewhere. he usually begged kurt to take him to the most outlandish of places so you tried your best to believe your made up story.
you had taken a shower once you got home around four, made yourself look good for your boyfriend. you were gonna eat dinner with him then hope you guys would get to messing around a bit, maybe show off your new underwear you hadn’t had a proper chance to debut to him yet. it was really bothering you that he hadn’t said a word for hours.
before you could worry anymore, kurt had stumbled through the door, slamming it once he got inside. you ran from your room to the living room to see him, happy that he was alive. you were about to report him as missing due to your dramatics.
“hey is everything okay?” you had thrown yourself around him, his arms tightening around you.
“oh yeah,” he spoke into your ear. “just had to take care of something a-and my phone died.”
you pulled away, hands now holding his. he smiled at you, his eyes bright and happy. all your worries went away, his face being enough o make you feel okay.
“did you get dinner?” you asked, starving from not eating since your lunch.
“i was thinking i could take you out,” his grin made your heart flutter. “anywhere you want to go, it’s on me.”
you nodded.
“honestly can we just sit inside taco bell?” you giggled. “i just really want a beefy burrito right now.”
“yeah of course,” he kissed your forehead. “anything for you.”
you told him you would be right back, going to your room to get a pair of shoes on. he sat on the couch for a moment and let out a huff, his mind fuzzy.
he would do anything to make you happy, he loves making you happy. he wants to be your saving grace, your only hope. he looked down at his jacket, smiling at the tiny bloodstain that was left on him. it was all for you, it’s always going to be for you. he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“okay i’m read-“ you stopped for a moment as you noticed a blood smear from the side of his temple down to his ear. “… hey are you bleeding?”
his hand shot to the side of his face that your eyes were fixated on, his fingers grazing the dried blood. he pulled down his hand to look at it and sure enough, there was dried blood that bunch up on his pointer and middle finger.
“oh uh,” he pretended to look as shocked as he possibly could. “i hit my head on the uh… side of my door today w-when getting gas. i was trying to uh… hurry for my next passenger, i didn’t notice i was bleeding.”
he stood up and went to your bathroom, quickly turning in the sink. he pulled out a washcloth from your drawer, soaking it then scrubbing at his temple.
you followed in shortly after, nervous that he had really hurt himself. you tried to get up close to inspect the suspected wound but he pulled away from you.
“oh i-i’m okay,” he finished cleaning it off. “it’s just a tiny scratch on my scalp, nothing major.”
“are you sure?” you tried to reach for him again. “let me check it for you-“
“no it’s fine i promise,” he put the cloth on the counter. “we should get to t-taco bell before they close.”
you nodded and turned around, heading out the restroom door. kurt looked in the mirror one last time, the events of the day playing through his head.
he punched the guy in the face, as hard as he could. the man stumbled to the ground of his front lawn, groaning at the impact. kurt through another hard hitter, the man passing out.
he had put him in his car and drove him to the junkyard, his usual place for his victims. he layer his body against the gravel in front of his car, waiting for the man to wake up again. he was growing impatient, the pocket knife on his key opened and ready to be used. kurt decided to stab him in the side repeatedly, the old man awakening to the pain. he looked at kurt with eyes of terror, his hand reaching for the bloody wound.
“this is what you get m-mother fucker,” he stuttered, stabbing him again.
the man tried to grab kurt with his bloody hand, the liquid smearing against the side of his head.
“are you coming or what?” you asked, breaking him out of his memory.
“y-yeah,” he turned off the light and head to you. “just wanted to say i love you.”
“i love you.” he gave you a kiss on your cheek.
#kurtsworld96#kurt kunkle#kurt kunkle x reader#kurt kunkle fanfiction#kurt kunkle fic#spree#spree movie#kurt kunkle x fem reader#joe keery#kurt kunkle/reader
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Delta Squared Chapter 1
A/N: So, this story is somewhat based off of Think Like a Man, I thought our favourite boys would fit these tropes quite nicely and wanted to write something fun and kinda silly! I hope can enjoy, even if you have seen the movie because I did make changes :) This will have several chapters, but hoping to keep it easy to follow. This chapter focuses on the boys and Benny. No smut, no warnings really except a few swear words. 2.4k words
It all starts sometime in May, the boys’ weekly outing causing the fates to set you up in front of the TV at just the right time. Well, sort of started then.
###
(01:23 am) Tom wtffff
(01:23 am) im hiding in the bathroom from that weird girl who smelled like burritos next to us
(01:24 am) can i come out yet
(01:26 am) dunno
(01:26 am) but brb
(01:26 am) santi’s helping me get this girl off my back
(01:26 am) so the one who was basically following me is gone?
(01:28 am) also what youre engaged
(01:28 am) just show her a pic of Mads
(01:30 am) true lol
(01:31 am) im just gonna come back
(01:31 am) if shes standing right outside the bathroom ill scream
(01:32 am) idk what ur talking about but will made a face so maybe he knows who you mean
(01:32 am) then again that might just be him pining
(01:32 am) for that girl
(01:32 am) who broke up with him bc he quit his job
(01:32 am) the one hes been "dating" for 2 weeks
(01:32 am) OH
(01:32 am) santi and fish are trying to tag team this girl
(01:32 am) tag team?
(01:32 am) santi and fish are drunk af
(01:32 am) doesnt mean theyre not gonna do it
(01:35 am) uh yeah it does but whatever im on my way
###
Benny emerges from the haven of the bathroom, immediately making a beeline for the boys’ table. Thankfully, the girl who seemed to be at his elbow at every turn was nowhere to be seen. Even halfway across the bar, Benny could see Santiago chatting up some poor unsuspecting woman and wonders to himself with amusement which line he went with this time, the player that he is. He’s ridiculously successful at this, always has been, even in their time in Delta Force, his ability to charm anybody and everybody driving the boys nuts. Frankie had apparently given up the tag team idea, and let him run his game, choosing to watch from the sidelines.
Benny checks his phone to see if he got a text from you, sending one out asking how you’re feeling. He feels bad for leaving you at home, sick, but you had insisted he go out with the boys, claiming you’ll join them next time. You two had been dating for years now, bordering on 8, your relationship having been an undefined thing at first due to his back and forth in the military. Once he had come back for good, it was almost too simple how you two had made things official, falling into a routine as easy as breathing. But still… he hadn’t proposed yet.
You were a relatively successful hairstylist, owned your own salon, got along with the boys, matched his energy for all the dorky movies he was into, and incredibly chill with his energy it was almost too good to be true. You even dressed up with him in a couples costume of Han and Leia that one halloween, binging the movies with him throughout the month to prepare for the role. So, you could be forgiven for mistaking the little velvet box he got you last valentines day for a ring, screaming out “Yes!” until you opened it to see a simple but pretty pair of diamond studs. You didn’t understand why he was waiting, you two lived together, shared a car, planned for your future; the domesticity of your relationship was so deeply ingrained in your bones, everyone already assumed you were married until they noticed the empty space where your ring should be. You didn’t want to pressure him, though. He was your Benny, your best friend, and you loved him so much. Star Wars posters, figurines, and all.
You flipped through the channels at home, eventually landing on Oprah, recognizing her guest as Steve Harvey, the host from Family Feud.
“Welcome back, everybody. We are still here with best-selling author Steve Harvey. (Camera switch to Steve) - Well, what I try to get women to understand is that times have changed, but your playbook hasn't. I've gotten thousands of letters from all kinds of women who can't seem to find a man, keep a man or get what they want from their man. Until you understand how a man loves, how a man operates, how he thinks, until you get into the mindset of a man, you will never win with us in the game of love.”
Despite your better judgement, you stayed on the channel to see what new information he could possibly be adding to the world of love advice.
“We have a question in the audience. (camera turns to woman in the audience)- Hi, Steve. I've been living with my boyfriend for five years and he says that he loves me and he's fully committed. I guess what I want to know is, how come he hasn't popped the question?- (camera turns to Steve) He hasn't popped the question because you haven't required him to.”
You roll your eyes at the pedantic answer, but stay listening to see if you could get anything useful out of this.
###
Benny catches part of Santi’s words to the girl on his way to the table, and the tail end of it has him quickly covering his mouth to hide his laughter.
“I’m sorry, but Jesus has my heart.” The girl had said.
“Yeah, no, no, no, I get that. I love Jesus, too. They actually used to call me Pope back in the military,” Santiago countered, sure that he’d walk away with her number.
“You boys won’t believe how Santi’s trynna pick up this girl,” Benny says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as he joins the others at the table.
“Oh I can already imagine it’s weird, she gave me crazy vibes just by the way she was trying to touch Tom’s beard after 2 seconds,” Frankie laughed.
Santi returns to the table sooner than any of them would have guessed, and they assume he got shot down - rare, but it does happen.
“No luck?” Will asks, a little eager to share his misery with someone else at the table. Will’s most recent venture into finding love ended as pathetically as his last; he was too much of a dreamer to keep a steady job after returning home. Apparently, the women he was going on dates with didn’t appreciate his goal of finding something he was passionate about. He just wanted someone to support him, the same way he would give his full support for his partner.
Santiago looked at each of his friends’ faces and then broke out into a smug smile, “No, I got it. Cmon, you guys really thought I couldn’t? Have some faith.”
The last comment had Benny cracking up again, and he checked his phone again to see if you’d replied.
“How’s Daph doin’?” Will asks his little brother, eyes catching him checking his phone periodically.
“She’s alright, she-” He starts but gets cut off by Fish.
“She's phenomenal, pendejo, we don’t understand why she’s with you,” Frankie laughs, and Santi joins in.
“Nobody does! How good is your credit score? Do you even know how to check your credit score?”
They all laugh at that, Benny included.
“Daphne is amazing, you guys are right. She even loves my nerdy shit. Will doesn’t even like my nerdy shit,” Benny elbows his older brother.
“You sure about that? Maybe she just loves you. Deep down inside, she’s probably thinking ‘this is some silly ass shit’” Tom counters with his eyebrows raised, challenging him.
Out of them all, Tom had the least complicated relationship. He just wanted to make Madison happy, simple as that, and Mads felt the same towards him. He was usually the one giving level headed advice around the table whenever the boys would bring up their lady problems, and as much as they wouldn’t want to hear it at first, they usually conceded, knowing he was being reasonable.
“Nah, I know her, alright? She is just as into all of that as I am.”
The night goes on in a similar fashion, catching up and teasing, until Tom stands up, stating that he needs to get back to his fiancé, making the others groan in displeasure.
“When's the wedding again, Tom? You’ll have all the time in the world, laaaaaater,” Santi gripes.
“You guys still have to take me out for my Bachelor party, how do you not know when the wedding is? It’s next- No, you know what? You can figure it out and plan it when you’re sober, I’m heading out!”
They all chimed in for their goodbyes, knowing they’d see each other in a few days. Benny started to rise from his seat as well, finishing off the last of his beer before announcing his departure.
“Gotta get back to my girl, she’s not feelin’ too well.”
“Yeah, I should go, too, gotta pick up my kid from my mom tomorrow.” Frankie adds, also getting up from his place.
Santiago and Will share a look which doesn’t go unnoticed by Frankie, who immediately gets defensive, “What?”
“Don’t lie to us Fish, you’re gonna go there tonight and she’s gonna give you your onesie and tuck you in the same way she does for your kid!”
Santiago’s never let go of an opportunity to rip on Frankie’s relationship with his mother. Everybody knew he was a momma’s boy, but now he uses his daughter as an excuse for why he’s over all the time. She cooks all his meals, she does his laundry for him, they even have matching pyjamas which they wear on their movie nights together. He stops by on his way home from work because she’s made his favourite dish, or picked up those socks he likes from Costco. Santiago is only teasing but it’s become glaringly obvious that for all that he complains about being a single dad, Fish doesn’t really make time for another woman in his life.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Pope. Don’t come asking for her pie next time you’re over.”
“Now hey-” Threats were getting serious, Santiago had to back up a bit.
###
The first bomb had been dropped.
The next day had you heading to your local bookstore, with your notebook in hand, filled with scribbles of tips from Steve. You had finished the episode of Oprah, surprised to have found some possibly useful ideas to push Benny to the next step in your relationship. Looking for his book, you tell yourself you’re not tricking him, you’re just trying to move forward in your life together.
Settling in to read for a bit before Benny came home, you found the chapter that focuses on “The Non-committer”, aka your Golden Retriever boyfriend, which described how you need to require him to step up and propose. Your last birthday, the boys came over for dinner; they treated you like one of their own, which was wonderful! Except that it was your birthday, and you were dressed for a romantic dinner for two. You really were one of the boys. Speaking of which, you looked around, noticing how much your shared apartment looked like a college dorm room, one that housed several boys, not the sophisticated adult space you always envisioned. You develop an idea, one that might upset him but that will overall clean up the place and make it look like two working adults live there. There’s a used bong on his favoured side of the couch for fuck’s sake.
Yeah, that’s it, the first move has already formed in your head, your calculating gaze sweeping across your living room making note of what you’re going to keep and what’s going in storage. The couch will have to wait for another day, you can’t lift it on your own.
Later that evening, Benny comes home while you’re making dinner, chicken wings and fries - not your guilty mind telling you to make his favourite, nope - and his joyful shout at the smell makes your stomach twirl happily. After all these years, his easy smile and comforting presence is still your favourite thing in the world and you want to never stop seeing it. On his way to kiss your cheek in greeting, he catches a glimpse of the drastically different living room space and stops mid-walk, body visibly frozen in shock.
“Babe! Did we get robbed?! Where’s all of my posters, my figurines?! How did you not notice we got robbed?!!” He’s rushing to inspect the empty spaces.
“Relax, I just tidied up a bit,” you try to keep your voice even and light. “They’re safe, Vader’s safe. I just thought we could paint the living room.”
He exhales in relief, painting he could deal with, painting he could work with.
“...and redecorate,” you say under your breath.
“Redecorate?” Benny echoes, confusion taking up his pretty face. “I thought you liked that stuff, why would you wanna redecorate?”
Dropping the last of the wings into the deep fryer you turn to face him fully. “Because, Benny, it looks like we’re still in college. We’re adults, we make decent money, don’t you want this to look like a real home? One where all of our friends haven’t had sex on our couch?”
“What’s wrong with my couch?”
“Baby, it has duct tape holding the back together. We’ve literally had it for ages, and God knows how many times you’ve spilled your bong on it!”
“This couch has history!”
You just level him with a look, before showing him the couch catalogue you were browsing, pointing out the ones you thought he’d like.
“I’d rather watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with you again than couch shop,” Benny grumbles.
“I know you would because I caught you watching it by yourself a week later. Cmonnnn Benny, it smells so bad.”
“Okay, fine but listen I’m really bad at this. Can you just do it without me? I trust you to pick one. Please?” He leans in to kiss your cheek and heads straight for the deep fryer, gathering the rest of the food to set out for the two of you.
Surprise colours your face but you’ll take the win. New couch, slightly more adult space, this was shaping up to be a productive evening. The two of you ate dinner, Benny making loud noises of enjoyment from the guilt-wings you made, watching your post-work show together. These are the moments you loved, the simple comfort of each other’s presence, of having your best friend there at the end of every day.
#triple frontier#triple frontier fic#benny miller#benny miller x female reader#will miller#santiago garcia#frankie morales#mona writes???
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coming here to scream into the void. this is unlike most of my personal posts, but I just need to get shit out of my body.
context to know about me: i’m 24 and live with my parents. i have adhd, depression, and anxiety that is only getting worse. i work as a server. i was also raised mormon, aka taught from birth to give up my soul and all time that i wasnt working for money to do acts of service/free labor. i have left but no one else in my family has except a couple extended relatives.
i love my grandparents very much, and i’m very lucky that all of them live within a 30 mile radius of me, so i see everyone who is still with us quite frequently.
the only problem is pretty much all of them started to have failing health within the last year, and it’s having a significant impact on the entire family, both emotionally and with time commitment.
with my mom’s mom, we took care of her for a long time when she was more independent, but came to a mutual decision to take her to an assisted living community once her health took a sharp decline and she had to start dialysis. the facility we ended up deciding was best (and pretty much every other facility around here) does not have medical/appointment transportation available on the days for her dialysis appointments. this upped/changed my responsibility of taking her to and from physical therapy once a week to taking her to dialysis 3 times a week. pickup is my mom’s responsibility generally, but i am also sometimes asked to do pickup if i’m available. one time i was not available but my family was out of town (did not tell me far enough in advance to get work off) and i ended up having to leave work in the middle of the dinner rush for an hour to go pick up my grandma because i couldn’t get work covered.
on the other side of my family, both of my grandparents have a hard time accepting help with anything other than hard labor for their hobbies like gardening. working on getting them into a facility where they could actually act more independently than they did before is a near impossible act. it makes sense, they don’t want to leave their home of 40 years where they have animals and a garden. then again, my aunt has lived with them pretty much her whole adult life, at least as long as i’ve been alive, so she’s kind of taken on the mantle of caretaker for them in their old age. when she leaves to travel, it falls on us to take shifts of caregiving, and it becomes crystal clear exactly how much work she’s doing. this past year within weeks of each other my grandma started showing signs of dementia and my grandfather had a few physical illnesses that ended up severely impacting his mental health for weeks to now being at the VA home indefinitely and wheelchair bound. luckily he is now getting the care he needs, but my grandmother is still at her house and now has new things that need taking care of.
now brings me to the whole reason for me to make this post. i tonight was asked if i could make another 3 day a week commitment for the next 6-7 weeks to help my paternal grandmother get to appointments, despite openly stating that im applying for another job and am already mentally drowning with the workload i already have (which is not a ton for the average person but i’m having extreme difficulty taking care of myself and ever decreasing spoons). The schedule i’ve set with work accomodates for maternal grandmother care and dnd to keep me sane, but loading on more just leaves even more holes in my schedule and will rob me of 1 of 3 days i have available for a new job.
the irony is my parents want me to be working twice as much as i am now, but also doing all of this grandparent care, and also functioning like my neurotypical siblings at home, but ask me what im doing to improve my mental health. like you pick two between working 40 (or even 35) hours a week, improvement in mental health, increased contribution at the house, and grandparent care.
on top of allll of this i also applied to nail school next year so i can have sone kind of accreditation under my belt which is something i havent even tried to figure out how to work in at this point.
i know i probably sound ungrateful and whiney. that’s ok with me. my mental health is kicking my ass and it feels like im drowning with thicker and thicker ice blocking me from air. (side note, if anyone has any tips for rebuilding a lost habit of taking medication , i would appreciate it.) it is very important to note that the actual care of my grandparents is not an issue for me. i’m glad i get to see them so often, and take time to take care of them. it’s hard watching them decline, but that’s part of greif. the frustrating part is i feel as though my time is not being respected, and also feel as though i’m expected to burn through what precious billable hours i can get (and handle taking) with the hourly work i have to do because it’s the only thing im qualified for. i feel as though i’m being viewed more as a driving tool than as a complex person with complex needs who barely has enough mental energy to devote to getting out of bed every day. not even getting ready, just physically standing up. i’ve been mourning people who are not yet in the grave, and struggling to keep up even the appearance of functionality.
anyway that’s pretty much my letter to the void, i may edit later, we’ll see. if you read, thanks for listening.
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OSRR: 3402
a few things and then a rant.
i went to the eye doctor today, to see (ha) them about my retina and my recovery from eye surgery. it's going well, and i'm glad that it's going. i thought it more or less stopped, but the doctor says that you just gotta trust the process, and if there's anything i've learned from watching videos of artists and artisans doing their thing, it's to trust the process. so i am.
they dilated my eyes - both of them - so i couldn't drive immediately after. which was fine, so i took a break for a while in my car and left just before my therapist called, who i talked to on my way home. we talked about the week i've had and things i've noticed this year around the season as it's the first time i haven't been in school or preparing for school at the holidays and how that's making a difference in how i feel.
the timing worked out perfectly for that conversation; i hung up about a minute out from home. and then mom and i went to look for fabric and then my back started hurting and the rest of the afternoon was kind of miserable.
we stopped at the farm shop and picked up some eclairs because i'd been craving them, which was really nice. and then we went home and i was still in pain, so i grabbed the heating pad and went upstairs to lie down and use the heat on my back. i ended up napping after using it for a while. i did shut it off before i fell asleep, though.
i woke up to the smell of onions and a call for dinner. i helped get the table ready for us and got things out and put things down and all sorts of stuff. dinner was good. and after dinner, i helped bring up the boxes of christmas stuff and then take out the leaves from the table. my back was still hurting. eventually i had to stop and i laid down on the floor to try to get it to stop hurting, which worked for a bit.
i really hope my back doesn't hurt tomorrow like it did today. today was pretty miserable because of it.
and now for the rant.
tl;dr: i'm grumpy about money.
i'm really tired of working at the school. i really want to quit. it's frustrating that i can't, though, because i have too many bills to pay and i don't make enough from one job so i have to work three to make ends kind of meet as well as be able to eat and afford gas. it sucks. why does this have to be so fucking hard.
i hate being broke. because i was sick for a bit, it kinda fucked my finances for a long time. so my goal is to not get sick. and to not be out of work. like i could use an injection of two thousand dollars and that might help me recover - the buffer i used to have is completely gone. and so is the money i was given to fix my car. i used it to catch up after being sick.
but then i also have doctors appointments to pay for, and come next year i have to pay for my health insurance as WELL as my doctors appointments, and on top of that and gas and food and my credit cards that have been maxed out because i had to live a few years back without pay for a few months, AND my student loans, im fucked. i don't even spend that much on things that i "don't need." like i have netflix and i have prime and i have a few news subscriptions, but all of that totals less than $50 a month. that's my smallest credit card payment.
but i have to get gas and i have to eat and even though im bad at eating regularly i still try my best. it's frustrating because most of my priorities are fucked in the first place, because i know i need to have such a significant amount set aside for my loans every month.
this is why i think university should be free.
there is absolutely no reason for me - and so many others, for that matter - to be shackled with debt to get a good education simply because we are poor. debt is punishment for being poor. high interest rates are punishment for being poor. lack of access to healthful food is punishment for being poor. and it doesn't help that it gets compounded onto by poor health, bad sleeping habits, and an increased affection of the wealth effect - which is that when money comes in, it gets spent quickly, but it's even worse for poor people because it's not even there in the first place since it goes immediately to paying debts - among many other things.
society and culture in the united states punish people for being poor from the get-go. i'm pretty sure that that's what made me as much of a leftist as i am.
i hate this place. fuck it.
i'm just glad that joel has enough money for what he needs. he also helps support me when i need it and i couldn't be more grateful. he's got good ideas to help me help myself and he's got a level head on his shoulders and i am so so grateful he's in my life because this shit would be fucking miserable without him.
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So idk what in doing. Im gonna explain why i need to die. First of all nobody can convince me that i deserve to live because im a waste of space and oxygen. Everyday i wake up and play games or draw. I dont do anything productive such as studying or reading or exercising. Im too lazy to do stuff like that. Im too lazy to even write rn 😭 i wish my mind could write it for me and i wouldnt need my fingers to type. Im so lazy i dont clean my room, but its not like its too messy i just have to fold my clothes and vacuum and organise. Ok nvm my room is messy. I disappoint my mon. Sometimes i just cant bring myself to do the chores i do them from time to time but i sometimes scoff and throw myself in my bed. I dont see myself in the future. Yeah sure i have drawing skillz but can i really turn them into a job?? Nuh uh artists dont get paid a lot and its going to be even more horrible. Jobs for artist could be: commissions but you have to be very popular on social media, i mean its kinda optional but you need a lot of commissions to pay the bills. Another job as an artist could be clout but its almost same as the commissions. There are a lot of jobs, but its not like i can do any of them. They require skillz that i dont have. You could improve but it takes a lot of time. Art is just another hobby and i dont think i would take it to next level. Another reason that i should die?? For i should die?? Fuck english, is that im fucking ugly. I hate my hair because for at least 2 or 3 years i always kept it in a low ponytail because i look uglier with my hair down. I hate myself i wish I wasn’t so self conscious about my hair . I wish i could get a cool haircut without my mom saying something about it. I would still look cringe with a cool haircut cuz people dont really see me with my hair down not even my mom, and if i let my hair down they gonna b like :”omg she finnally let go of the ponytail” or sum like respectfully stfu, youre making me more insecure. I hate my face. I have a lot of pimples on my forehead. I mean its normal to have pimples but it isnt for me. Like what the fuck???? I havent eaten shit like chips and coke in since summer vacation started and my skin still looks horrible. Its true i sometimes forget to do the skin care routine because im lazy. I hate my eyebrowz. They are so fucking thick😭. I wish i should just give them a slimmer shape but my mom says that my eyebrowz are ok. Yeah, no. They arent. I hate my teeth. They are so yellowish because i sometimes forget to brush my teeth and even if i remember to brush them and actually do it, i give out no effort and i just move the brush in my mouth for 30 seconds and then leave. I dont have the BEST hygiene, i do shower two times a week but i dont really brush my hair or my teeth. I hate being a girl. I dont wanna shave but i still have to because i dont look “feminine” or some shit like stfu i dont wanna shave im lazy. In the end i still shave cuz my mom tells me its for the better. So i hate myself so much, i wanna rip my hair off my head and scream loud AAAAA. And if im so ugly, nobody would want me. I need to be pretty to feel loved. I crave some much attention and love nobody understands. I mean, my parents love me right?? Idk they both are at they jobs and come home late and idk if they forget about me or nah. So now, i have the MOST important reason why i should die. Im egoist and narcissist. I only care for myself, i do things for myself, not for others. I imagine or daydream how i would get a lot of attention and that narcissism because uhhhh i read on the internet and ur prolly gonna be like “dont believe whats on the internet” well fuck it i mean it makes sense to be narcissist and imagine getting a lot of attention. Im a bad person, i make people around me disappointed or sad. So yeah, these were all the reasons why i should die. There's one more reason. I'm stupid but I'm not gonna explain everything you get the point.
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Saw this tik tok account of a girl who made it for her divine masculine so she talks to him through & yeah she posted this. I was crying LMFAO. Full moon in Capricorn tho. It’s always gonna be funny but also fucked up that I still cry about you in the middle of being in a rela 💀. I feel bad. The universe is messy af but yeah I miss you, I believe you are doing well which is good. I saw you in the dream world the other day but I forgot fr. I’m crying rn this full moon got me so emotional over you because I miss you but also triggers like I’m mad I’m not with you or don’t have what you have. I was talking to my friend about it & she was like I will have what you have eventually because you are my reflection & I was well… when you say it like that 🤔. I was trying so hard not to cry otp lol.
But hmmm what cha been up to lamo mamo?? 🧐🐥💖 oh frrrr??? Trueeeee. Well I got news, sorta got a job. Training starts tmr. So basically I’ve been looking for a job for like 3 years now but my picky & empath ass & my Pisces midheaven AND THE UNIVERSE TAKING BRICKS. Technically the full moon is tonight July 3rd but obviously it starts the day before & after so that’s crazy my training starts the day of but basically ima be a therapist sorta for a kid or kids with autism. I just need 2 week training which is quite shocking & the pay is good, hours are good kinda just perfect fr but a kid will be assigned to me & I would have to go to their house for like 3-4 hours & just play w them or help them to learn basic shit. The universe blessed w that 23-26 an hour 🙂. The only think I don’t like it’s in the evenings but then it’s perfect because I’m not a morning bird. Honestly I don’t need much of a social life if I got a job. I feel like I wouldn’t even wanna go out after working because it’s either a job & recharge or friends & recharge & none of my friends are soulmates & I got a bf so I really don’t care about friends. I’m so glad I have a more real excuse to say no to my friends when they wanna hang out LMFAO. Ugh saving is so hard cusss OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND 😭. I’ll literally find someone keep my money away from me also what makes me wanna spend more is me tryna not live in a scarcity mindset, that’s my excuse 😭.I don’t have a problem with working & then going home. I’m my best with a routine. So I’ll wakeup at like 11-12 & charge before & then I leave at like 3-4 depending & I would get out at like 8-9 & I’ll just got get food, go home, take a shower & my skincare & then finally eat & watching some shit & then knock out. Honestly this job won’t drain me as much too because it’s little hours & im doing something I like. I hope the universe brings me a good family & kid. I hope this kid is not emotionally unstable too much because I can’t keep myself together when someone else is crying & that’s unprofessional af. The company is in Rockville but I would be visiting my assigned kid(s) around where I live. I’m lowkey a little scared cus it’s a first job & it’s pretty heavy for a first job but then it’s a part of who I am already so I’d just be working with my intuition. Ugh ima have to learn to talk professionally/ just learn how to talk to people in general. My cancer rising gonna beat my ass at first yo 😭. I’ll end up fine. I feel like this job will be healing my inner child fr cus I’m helping another child with a disability, a reflection of me.
K let me stfu now. I still fucking miss you & I’ll probably be having my moments of me crying over you for the rest of the day, actually the next 2 days 💀. Anyways.. I love you & I miss you. I hope you doing okay. I wanna cry again LMFAOOO. Okay bye bye Lamo mamo 🧸💖🌕. Stay safe! 👋🏼🥹
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heyyyy. update time.
so i feel like a lot has happened in the past month.
i’ve finally come to terms with my own sexuality! pretty sure in bi but not really sure if it’s more than that. don’t really want to put a label on it right now. over the summer, when i was drunk, i told my sister that but we haven’t spoken about it further until i told her about a girl celebrity crush i had lmao.
i’ve been listening to so so so much boygenius and phoebe bridgers. i want tickets to their concert so bad oh my god.
bella came home for break and i took her to my campus to drink. it was fun and nice to catch up with her. can’t wait for summer.
connor confirmed he’s transferring to my college! he’s living off campus but right by my favorite bar and about a twenty minute walk from my dorm, which isn’t awful. idk how often we’ll even go to each other’s places but lol.
i selected my dorm with people i know from high school and friends of friends. it’s a lot more spacious and nice than my dorm last year so im excited. it’s one of the newer ones. it’ll be nice i think.
i also chose my schedule for next semester and i only have three obligations a day, but it’s every day of the week. but i’ll be done by two every day! which is so nice. and i’ll get work again next semester.
our friends really think connor and i will have something this summer. im excited but also nervous. i don’t want to get my hopes up again. like i said im apprehensive about starting a relationship with him because i don’t know if he’d be the right fit for me but at this point im taking whatever i can get. i think the experience would be nice ykwim. but anyways.
counting down the days until summer. i’ve got my job set up again and everything. hoping to make some good money. but yeah. that’s all for now. im pretty content. mostly because the school year is almost over.
i’ll update again after finals. <3
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im useless at this writing thing
hello. not to start this on a negative note but I have been meaning to write for soooo long and it's taken me far too long. But honestly, I think it is actually a good sign because I feel like my life is currently fulfilled and I feel pretty consistent at the same time which is honestly the dream. it is something I have been craving for so long and it is so easy to take for granted once it happens but it is so important to reflect and give myself a tap on the back.
So lets take a look at Emily's world currently. I am feeling really happy in the apartment, I want to be home and I make the place look nice, how good is that. it almost feels like the standard now but when I think back and think ruby and I were nearly homeless living out of tote bags at the beginning of 2022, I have come far. and omg I am so much more settled. Ella and Ruby are immaculate house mates, I am so comfortable and having Rory around is nice to have a man living here, also great for bills.
Work. Work is fine. I am learning to accept that I am not going to be in my dream job right now and that is okay. I am moving forward in my career and that is all that matters. I am still learning and getting experience so I cannot complain. I do however feel I want to shift into something slightly different at some point in the future, I want to use my brain more and do more writing because that will definitely fulfil me more. at the moment I feel very operational but it is paying the bills and working in a big advertising agency on a big account like Myer is cool for now. I have definitely noticed the increase in my money with the increased salary so that is always nice.
I have a lover. I finally have a lover. Wow I never thought I would see this day. its even crazy to write this and how much pressure I put on myself to find someone and its one of those things once you have it, you wonder why you worried about it and realise yes it is great but I could also definitely survive without it. and I always will. I think I almost just got obsessed with the idea and obviously the comparing around me as well. but Dan is great, he treats me like an absolute queen, he is a very attractive man and although his jokes aren't always fun, I enjoy his company and the things we do together. It is has been about 2.5 months which is wild because it feels about that but also longer. We have been out for many lovely dinners and drinks, he has taken me surfing down the coast, he came camping to Wilsons Prom with my friends last weekend, I've met his friends as well and it is a sweet little thing we have growing. so I am just trying to enjoy it for now and navigate the idea of dating and learning what I like and don't like and it is fun! We are extremely sexually attracted to each other and we have a lot of sex which is always fun but he still hasn't made me orgasam but we will get there. We have had sex on the beach and in an alley way in Collingwood so hey that is some bucket list items ticked off. Dreams like that are so funny because you want them for so long and then once you get it, it often is not as amazing as you think, which is funny how life is like that because the 'looking forward to something' is more exciting than the event itself. But yeah who knows where things will go with Dan but it is nice to just focus on it for now and not look too far into the future and it will pan out how it is meant to.
Apart from that, I go to Europe in about 2 months which is pretty wild!! It will come around so quickly. Isabel and I have booked a lot of things and it has been pretty cheap which is good and I think we will have a blast so that will be cool!! 5 weeks of travel will be sooo nice.
Tomorrow morning, Ruby and I are going to Pitch festival which is exciting, even though we are a little nervous for a camping big music festival, it will be fun to let off some steam and be young wild and free. And then next weekend Poppy, Amy and Brooke are coming to visit which will be fun!! March has been crazy but hey living in the fast lane is fun. and why bloody not.
So that is all from me but I feel good to have written, never something I regret xx
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just me complaining/venting about my burnout under the cut feel free to read lol
it's become pretty obvious that i need some sort of significant change in my life. let me just first highlight all of the things that are bothering me at the moment:
1. my full time job consuming damn near all of my time during the week. it was especially busy this week, leaving me exhausted and not wanting to do other things. it's work from home, which is better than having to go to some depressing ass cubicle. but i literally can't leave my house for most of the day, it sucks. especially since it's summer and i want to go out and take walks, get groceries, eat out, etc. i get pretty bad seasonal depression during winter, so during summer there's a pretty noticeable difference in my mood. however, it's a bit different this year given all the stuff i'm doing right now. this is literally an entry level customer service job, why the fuck do i need to be doing this bullshit all day?
2. the fact that i haven't graduated college yet. i know it's now pretty common to take more than 4 years to graduate college (most of my friends took or are taking like 5-8 years), but it just all feels so tedious now. i feel i've been in school for too long and i also really dislike my major, so i just feel tired of it all. im really hoping i'll be able to graduate by the end of this year and that my mental health, having to take additional credits, etc wont get in the way of that.
3. i've started marketing for my business and even though i literally just started a few weeks ago, i feel shitty about the fact that the account isn't getting much engagement. apparently, the IG algorithm has changed recently and now favors accounts that are spending money on ads. i'm gonna test out some other methods, but i just hate the fact that i'm not getting the results i was expecting. i know i sound mad impatient lol. i just really want this to work because i genuinely don't know what else i want to do as a career for now. tbh, i dont even know if i care to have a "career" in this shitty capitalist system.
4. i'm kind of over living in the state that i do. the quality of life is here is great and i do like it when it's warm out. but the thing is, it's cold as shit most of the year and i've been here for over a decade at this point. i didn't even choose to live here either lol. i don't know for sure if i just need to travel more often after i graduate or if i just need to straight up leave, but i have a feeling im gonna have to move out sometime fairly soon (in the next few years, i mean). i want to live somewhere warm, i was looking at san diego, santa monica, and carmel-by-the-sea (all in CA). though it's pretty expensive over there. moving is also contingent on how much money i have, which is why i'm so stressed out about my business. the other alternative would just be to move into my own place and travel as often as i can.
5. i'm just now coming to terms with the fact that i spent all of my teenage years and early 20s in a cult and didn't even realize it until recently. i can't give much detail as to what kind of cult it was, otherwise my identity will be super obvious to anyone who might potentially know me reading this. i can say that i officially left in december 2021, but i essentially ignored the ways in which it traumatized me for months and i actually cried while talking about it to a therapist a few days ago. i try to move on from things that no longer serve me fairly quickly, so i just ignored it for months. but it was essentially a cult of toxic positivity mixed in with pseudoscientific bullshit, gaslighting, victim blaming, spiritual "hustle culture", and conspiracies (depending on who you talk to). its super popular now and you've probably heard of it, like i cant even go online without seeing something about it. it's not like i get severely triggered whenever i see it. i don't start crying or hyperventilating or anything like that, but i do flinch a little or make a face of annoyance or disgust, maybe even roll my eyes a bit. when people talk about it around me in person, i can't help but to get a little annoyed. if you go through my blog a little you might be able to figure out what it is. but it affected how i make friends, how i view people, how i view the world, and just about every other aspect of my life. now that its no longer a part of my life, i feel pretty hopeless without it. i genuinely thought i could do anything with my life when i was part of that cult, but now, i have certain anxieties that didnt exist before. whats funny is that the cult is pretty much the reason why i was depressed and anxious for so long. i don't feel as bad now that i've left, but i do still feel anxious and sad, but it's a different kind of anxiousness and sadness.
6. even though i've been trying to go out and make friends these past few months, i feel like i dont connect with the people i'm meeting. granted, this is just one group of girls and tbh our group chat has kind of died down. i'm trying to see if i can go to a different meetup tomorrow and hang out with some of the people there. we're just gonna go for a walk, which is much needed after feeling alone and isolated all this week. i really hope i can find some genuine, best girl friends who are similar to me. i do have good friends, but i dont see them very often. i'd like someone who i can see more consistently who i have things in common with. i've actually had a "best friend" before and would really love to have that.
7. i haven't been eating as much or as well as i should be since i tend to not eat a lot when im stressed and/or generally feeling shitty. i've also been breaking out a bit due to stress and period hormones from this past week. so yeah, i kinda look and feel like shit rn lmao.
8. capitalism and just the general state of the world and the US rn. honestly at this point im fucking tired of people doing things that aren't actually productive or helpful, like calling for random, unorganized strikes or having these lame ass protests. not trying to incite anything for legal reasons, but a whole revolution needs to happen and i don't think we're ready for that rn. it'll probably happen again, just not now. i know this issue is way bigger than me, but the cult i was in was always preaching about money being easy to get and how if you're poor it's your fault. since leaving, i've educated myself more on how fucked up capitalism is and how it really is the root of like 99% of the problems we face on earth. so yeah, fuck capitalism and fuck that cult i was in and anybody who subscribes to either of those ideas. thanks for coming to my ted talk ✨
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