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anne-i-write · 3 years

Text

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #william moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #albert moriarty #albert james moriarty x reader #albert moriarty x reader #sebastian moran #sebastian moran x reader #fred porlock

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jackrrabbit · 3 years

Text

cooking at 3am /// Osamu x f!Reader

Request: Imagine cooking together with Osamu at 3am because neither of you could sleep (or because ‘Samu got the midnight munchies lol). You don’t have anything specific in mind; you’re just playing around and feeding each other little bits of what you make.

A/N: bruh you said munchies and my mind said [[ h i g h o s a m u ]] sorry this went in a kinda different direction? but still fun 3am cooking project vibes :P

Tag/warnings: fluff, light drug use (weed), you and Atsumu are lowkey Bros™️, Osamu's kinda baby 🤧

Osamu’s not good at smoking.

He doesn’t really know how to inhale—you know, hold it in his lungs so it can soak in or whatever—and when he does, he coughs. Except he tries to repress the coughs. Even if he wants to hide it, he’s always close enough to you that you can feel his chest moving from trying not to cough when he takes a hit.

And also, like every baby smoker, he can’t really tell when it’s kicking in until he’s off the deep end.

“Can you feel it yet?”

“No.”

You shoot Osamu a glance where he’s sitting on the ground in front of the couch, watching a nature documentary on Atsumu’s TV with a glazed-over look on his face. “You sure? Your eyes are super red.”

“I can’t feel it. Give it—“ He holds out his hand and honestly you’re pretty sure he’s had plenty, but it’s Atsumu’s vape so who cares. You hand it over and Osamu holds it up to his mouth and sucks, eyes fluttering closed as the light on the side of the Pax glows yellow.

God, he looks hot when he does that. Something about a hot guy smoking, yeah? Actually, no. Something about your hot boyfriend smoking.

Except 'Samu holds his breath a second too long and you can see the urge to cough hit him… Wait for it, you think to yourself, and a second later he hacks and wheezes the vapor out in a wispy cloud that reflects silver against the semi-dark. You coo in sympathy and pat his back. “Want some water?”

Osamu shakes his head, hand over his mouth to stop the coughing. On the tv, David Attenborough talks about penguin courtship rituals and Atsumu (who’s been draped on the couch next to you for the past few hours) gives a light little sigh in his sleep. You check the time. 3am. Bedtime. Too bad you and 'Samu are both too high to drive home…whoops. Guess you’re spending the night at Atsumu’s place.

Osamu rubs his bloodshot eyes like they’re itchy, which they probably are. “Hey, can we— uhh… Do we have pancakes.”

“Pancakes, babe? You mean the ones you made for breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s leftovers…I made you extra and you didn’t want them.” He twists around and gives you an incredibly dirty look, like this is something you did on purpose to hurt his feelings. “If you don’t want them I’m going to eat them.”

“Wait, 'Samu—“ But Osamu's already getting up off the floor to wander over to the next room. You debate pausing the show—it’s a really good scene—but you leave it going for Atsumu's sake because you’re pretty sure the narration is the only thing keeping him asleep. He’s kinda drooling on your shoulder and you have to push him off to go follow your boyfriend to the kitchen.

“What is all this stuff? Ugh…” Osamu's pawing through the fridge. There’s a lot of crinkling, plastic sounds—you catch a glimpse inside and all of the shelves are stacked up with plastic bags and styrofoam containers.

You yawn and hop up to sit on the kitchen island. “Takeout? I don’t think he cooks.” Atsumu's going to get a lecture tomorrow for keeping 2-week-old Indian food in his fridge. God knows you heard it way too many times before you and Osamu moved in together. You don’t envy 'Tsumu.

Osamu sits down in front of the fridge, fumbles with a drawer, and pulls out a bag of moldy grapes. “Gross…who lives like this…”

You snicker into your hand.

“I can’t find the pancakes.” 'Samu's pulling the plastic drawers all the way out now, setting them down on the floor as he inspects the contents of the fridge.

“They’re not here.”

“You ate them?”

“No, I— Hey, put those back in,” you tell him helplessly as he shuts the door of the fridge, ignoring all the leftover food he took out. Yeah, half of it was probably off anyway, but Atsumu's gonna be pissed if he wakes up and there’s takeout going bad all over his kitchen floor.

“You threw away my pancakes?” Now the look on Osamu's face is utter betrayal. He stands up off the floor and glares sulkily at you. “I made those for you…”

“I didn’t throw them away, they’re—“ You hold back a laugh and wish you had your phone on you (where did it go?) so you could take a picture. He’s so cute when he smokes. “—they’re at home.”

“At home?”

“Yep, at home. The place where you and me live, remember?”

“Oh.” Osamu pauses, reaches out absently to grab the edge of your sleeve. You’re wearing one of his hoodies. “We’re not at home?”

“Nope. We’re at Atsumu's place,” you tell him through a giggle.

He plays with your sleeve, contemplating. “Why?”

“Because we’re out of weed and he said he’d smoke us out. And we like hanging out with him.”

“Oh. We do?”

“Yes.”

“…’Kay.” It takes Osamu a second to accept this, but then he nods seriously. “(Y/N), I'm hungry.”

“I know. What do you want to eat? You could probably have any of that stuff, I don’t think he’ll miss it.”

'Samu thinks about it for a moment, scanning the array of takeout containers spread out across the kitchen floor. “I want pancakes.”

“The pancakes are at home, remember?”

“Yeah…” Osamu flips over his grip on your sleeve and traces his thumb down the lines in your palm. “I could make some?”

More pancakes? “I don’t think 'Tsumu has eggs, babe. Or flour. Or…baking soda?” You’re not really sure what ingredients go into pancakes. Whatever cooking skills you possessed pre-Osamu have deteriorated significantly since you moved in together and he took over any and all food preparation for your household.

He pouts at this, and his hair is a little messed up, and he’s so pretty that you can’t stand how much you like him in that second. Mine mine mine, something in the back of your brain says. He’s mine.

You reach up and Osamu obediently ducks his head down so you can smooth his hair back into place and fix the bits that are flipping over his part. “Is there anything else you want to eat?”

“Onigiri.”

“Oh…” Well, at least Atsumu probably has rice. “Sure. Ok. That’s your specialty.”

“I want ya to make it for me.”

“What?” You frown and pull your hand out of his. “You know my cooking sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. (Y/N)’s food’s the best.”

“You own an onigiri shop, come on—“

“Please?”

One of his bangs falls back in his eyes and without thinking you reach up to put it in place. “Okay, fine. But you can’t complain about it if it’s not good.”

He smiles and you want to blush. “Yes! I promise.”

So you do it for him. Even though you’re high too. You measure some rice and water into the rice cooker (Osamu has to give you pointers on how much of each to put in) and you scrounge around Atsumu's depressingly bare kitchen for a few sheets of seaweed and some easy fillings. Osamu pulls a stool up to the island counter and rests his chin on his hands so he can watch you with a bleary look of adoration on his face.

It takes you…maybe half an hour to be done? It’s hard to gauge time when you’re high. You and 'Samu both jump when the rice cooker finishes and plays the little rice cooker song, which will remain stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. 'Samu hums it in a loop while you shape the rice into lopsided triangles and wrap the nori around it.

“Here,” you tell him when you set the plate down in front of him. He looks entirely too happy to be eating your mediocre food for someone who literally does this for a living, but who cares.

He picks one, takes a bite, swallows. And blinks.

“What do you think?” you ask in spite of yourself.

“Umm…salty,” Osamu says.

You grab one to try yourself and it’s salty. Like, ocean salty. Yuck. “I told you it would be bad,” you complain, trying to tug the plate away but Osamu grabs it and pulls it back.

“Noooo…it’s good,” he lies, although his face is giving him away. Still, he takes another bite and chews enthusiastically.

“Shut up.” You tug a little harder but Osamu doesn’t let go.

He swallows, pulls a face, and takes another one. “So good. I love it.”

“Shut up. You sound so fake. You’re going to get sick if you eat that.” You keep pulling, but he insists on pretending it’s edible so you admit defeat and help him finish the onigiri off. God, they’re awful. But he keeps eating and so you do too.

When you’re done, your mouth feels dry as fuck and you want to sleep almost as much as you want to drink about a gallon of water. “Is it bedtime yet?” 'Samu asks, wiping his mouth and then rubbing his eyes again.

The clock over the oven says it’s past 4. “Yes. It’s bedtime.”

“Wait—we’re…we’re not at home, right? We’re at 'Tsumu's?”

“Mhm.”

“I prolly drove here…I dunno if I can drive now,” Osamu tells you slowly, like he’s apologizing. “I think I'm kinda high.”

“Oh yeah?” You hold your laugh back and put your hands up on his cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Blurry? Like…you’re in slow-motion.” His hands come up to layer over yours. “You’re pretty in slow-mo.”

“Prettier than usual?”

Osamu closes his eyes, scrunching them up to think and then looking over your face intently. “Same amount, just slower. So it’s easier to see.”

“That so?” You slip your hands around to drape over his shoulders and get up on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss on the cheek, because he’s earned it. “You know what, I think I'm kinda high too. I think we’re going to have to have a sleepover.”

“On the couch? S’not big enough for us both.”

“You can sleep with 'Tsumu in his bed…or I guess you could sleep on the ground?”

'Samu's mouth twists and his brows draw together. You can practically hear the gears in his mind turning while he considers alternatives. “Can we share the bed?”

“I think Atsumu's gonna want it. It’s his house.”

“But he’s already sleeping.”

True, you can hear Atsumu snoring lightly from the living room underneath David Attenborough’s description of endangered falcons in the Philippine rainforest. You should really wake him up—matter of fact, you should really clean up the kitchen because it’s a huge mess—but 'Samu's already pulling you away. And you’re so sleepy.

“He’s going to be pissed tomorrow,” you tell Osamu through a yawn, but you let him steer you in the direction of Atsumu's bedroom, holding your hand.

“Don’t care…I hate sleeping without you.”

“Yeah,” you say, and you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you like you’re the literal best thing in the entire universe—and you decide you should get him high more often. “Same.”

#osamu miya x reader #osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! fluff #osamu #osamu miya

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electrickoushi · 3 years

Text

when you sleep over for the first time

a/n: this is my first headcanon so if anyone has advice, suggestions, formatting tips, etc. please let me know! thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy!

characters: bokuto koutarou, miya osamu, and sugawara koushi tags: fluff, gn reader, maybe 2 swear words, drinking

bokuto koutarou

he’s actually been looking forward to it all week

poor akaashi had a hard time getting him to focus during practice

before you come over, bokuto goes to the little corner store and buys so much food

he sets it out on the coffee table in a pretty display for you

this calls for lots of pillows and blankets on the couch which makes a little nest

once you arrive though he would want to make a fort because he always used to do it when he was a kid

it’s pretty much a mess but at least it fits the both of you (sort of)

eventually, you agree on some random action movie off a pirated website

you both get a sugar high from the ridiculous amount of candy and pop you’ve consumed

major screaming at the characters in the movie

“why the bruh would you walk in there”

halfway through, you just start talking and totally ignore the movie

once you guys crash from your sugar highs, you just head to his bedroom and don’t turn off the tv or clean up

it’s a tomorrow problem

you go into the bathroom to change into your pajamas and come out to see bokuto in a matching pajama set

he really is so cute and what for

he makes sure to pull the covers back for you so you can climb in first

once you are both situated, he introduces you to his owl plushie collection

yes he has one this is non-negotiable

“this one is named hoot hoot because...”

once he’s done, he turns off the lights

you see a nightlight that he’s had since he was a baby by his door

you want to ask him about it but he’s already fast asleep

picture this: you rest your head on koutarou’s chest and listen to his rhythmic breathing and soft heartbeat that eventually lulls you to sleep.

miya osamu

you already know you are eating good tonight

he has basically prepared a five course meal for you

and you better like it because he spent the entire day cooking

had to kick atsumu out multiple times and placate him by giving him some cookies

he told you to not eat lunch or dinner so that you would have room

he was dead serious too

when you come in, the dining table is set up with a table runner, flowers, fancy candles, the whole works

you feel woefully underdressed (this was supposed to be a sleepover…) but osamu obviously doesn’t care

still thinks you’re gorgeous and tells you it

he takes your bags and drops them on the couch before leading you to the table

he pulls out your seat like the gentleman he is and sits opposite of you after bringing out the first dish

imagine whatever you want this wikipedia page is confusing me

of course it is absolutely delicious and satisfies your grumbling stomach

he tells you about his chaotic day that he had in preparation for this big dinner

once he sees that you are done or have stopped eating for a bit, he brings out the next course

you try to save room for everything but by the end, you’re taking one bite of everything because the food supply is endless

seriously glad you wore loose pants because you are so full

full but very happy

osamu is still eating since he is a bottomless pit i guess

and he is just very glad that you enjoyed everything

the night ends with alcohol and a great night’s sleep

picture this: the warm candlelight casts a soft glow on osamu’s face as he smiles at you with love in his eyes, delighting in the way that your cheeks are stuffed with the food he made for you.

sugawara koushi

everything is so chill and relaxing with him

when you arrive, a steaming hot set of pizza and breadsticks, paper plates, and a bottle of red wine are ready

y’all are truly the peak of elegance

fights over the ranch and marinara sauce break out since neither of you particularly feel like sharing

once the pizza is gone and you are both thoroughly tipsy, he opens his laptop to engage in your favorite activity to do as a couple

catfishing people on omegle

he lays on his stomach on the floor with a pillow to lay his head on

and you basically lay on top of him

your wine glasses are scarily close to the computer

the two of you always make a pact to never disconnect first

hours upon hours you waste convincing people that you are a fourteen year old obsessed with backrooms and cryptids, a horny nineteen year old female looking to fuck, and someone’s old history teacher they hooked up with as a student

casual touching and lots of soft kisses between the laughter

eventually you run of out people to impersonate

so you turn off omegle and watch playthroughs of horror games

which scare you so badly but you would never tell koushi (yep no weaknesses here not at all)

he’s not scared and definitely knows that you are afraid but won’t do anything about it until you admit it

halfway through when you are completely terrified, he randomly shouts in your ear

and you jump at least five feet in the air

he laughs and turns off his laptop

you’re so paranoid now of any little sound or movement

he assures he’ll protect you from anything in the dark

says it mockingly but it’s still comforting somehow

you may or may not have clung to him for the entire night

picture this: you’re roaring with laughter as you lay on top of giggling koushi who, with the steady keyboard clicks, tries to convince your next victim that you live in the same city as they do.

#elliewrites #fluff #haikyuu #bokuto koutarou #miya osamu #sugawara koushi #bokuto x reader #osamu x reader #sugawara x reader #hq headcanons #gender neutral

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thadelightfulone · 3 years

Text

All I Want... 25 Days of Christmas Challenge, Day 2

November 15-19th, Part 2

Erik Stevens’ office phone rang incessantly, even after he told his assistant to hold all calls. When it finally quieted down, he stood up to stretch the stiff muscles of his neck, shoulders and arms. He moved in front of the floor to ceiling window that makes up the back wall of his office. Taking a few deep breaths, he rubbed his temples when the cell phone in his jacket pocket started to ring.

“T. Can I breathe? We have been working on this project all morning.” Silence greeted him on the other end. “Hello?”

“My bad. I figured you would be at lunch right about now. It’s after 3 over here.” The voice spoke.

Erik looked at the contact on his phone and started laughing, “Damn man, I’m sorry. My cousins and I have been working on this project and -- let’s just say I am ready for a vacation.”

“It’s ok. I get it man. I have about 4 students preparing to defend their dissertations next month. I am nowhere near ready.”

“That’s right, Dr. Oubre, preparing our future doctors of science and research. So, what’s up?”

“Well, I just spoke with Dr. Giacomo and she said someone came around asking about you.”

“Really for what?”

“Yeah, I guess they came across one of your papers and decided to find you.”

Erik rolled his eyes, “So, why would they go to her and not just reach out to me directly?”

“Look, I don’t know. I am just letting you know what was relayed to me, but I wanted to reach out to you before I gave out your information.”

“Bruh, give them my email and get off my phone.” Erik laughed at how silly Marquis was being.

“Aye, you can never be too sure. I’m just looking out for you.” Marquis whispered into the phone.

Erik walked over to his desk and leaned against the edge, “Quis, man what is really going on?”

“I don’t want to send you another stalker.” Marquis sighed before laughing.

“HA, man. No one could have seen that shit coming.” Erik began to laugh as well. “I definitely lucked out when she graduated before us. Who knows how bad that could have gotten?”

“True, true.” Marquis cleared his throat, “By the way, Serena asked about you. She wants to know when you are bringing yo black ass back to Louisiana? You know to see us, your friends and extended family?”

“What else? I know she didn’t stop there.” Erik retorted.

“Oh, the usual. Has he found anyone yet? When is he gonna settle down? Yada, yada, yada.” Marquis shot back.

“Of course, she did.” Erik sighed out. “I definitely want to take some time off, so I can come and see you both, including my nieces and nephew. I just don’t know when that will be.”

“Alright man, I understand. Look, I just wanted to give you a heads up about the contact. But I gotta run to class now.” Marquis rushed out.

“Yeah, I’ll hit you up later this week.” Erik said before hanging up.

Setting his phone down on his desk, he closed his eyes. Arms crossed over his chest, he relaxed into the moment. Alternating between short and long breathes, he felt himself calming down from the morning and the call from his best friend and brother.

They met in undergrad and were as thick as thieves instantly. You never saw one without the other anywhere on campus. And then, while they were in grad school Marquis met Serena, who would later become his wife.

Laughing to himself, Erik recalled being jealous of what they had and continued to build together. It reminded him of his parents’ relationship and the love they had for one another. He rolled his eyes as his mind started to wander. Serena wasn’t the only one asking those kinds of questions lately.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, he decided to focus on the reason for Marquis’ call. Someone from Southern University was looking for him, that’s very interesting. He hadn’t thought of his alma mater much since returning home to Oakland, about 10 years ago. Outside of Marquis and his family, who he kept in touch with; he never needed to think about it. He had written plenty of papers due to his current research and his studies while he was working on his doctorate, so it does make sense. Well, whoever it is will be reaching out to him soon enough.

---

It’s been three days since DeeDee learned that her mystery man was connected to a current faculty member on campus. She walked to his office and knocked on the open door.

“Hey Dr. O.” DeeDee said to get his attention.

“Come in, DeeDee.”

DeeDee walked into Dr. Marquis Oubre’s office and took a seat in front of his desk. She pulled out her notebook and set it down on her lap.

“So, how are things going?” Dr. Oubre asked as he walked over to the chair next to her.

“They are going, but it could be better.” DeeDee answered as she fiddled with her fingers.

Marquis sat down and crossed his leg at the knee. “What’s bothering you, DeeDee?”

“I’m nervous about how all the interviews went. I mean they were all in September and October, and I have not heard anything.”

“What did I tell you when you left for the first one in San Diego?”

DeeDee sighed and rolled her eyes, “I will know if they are a great fit for me and not the other way around.”

“That’s right. Besides, you visited about 6 schools over a 2 month period. Those are on-campus interviews and that number is unheard of DeeDee.” Dr. Oubre looked at her, “I didn’t even get that many.”

“Really?” DeeDee looked at him in disbelief.

Dr. Oubre discussed his entire experience of applying for a tenure-track position. DeeDee listened as much as she could manage, but in the back of her mind, all she could think about is the fact that her doctoral mentor knew her mystery man. She wanted to blurt it out when she first walked in, but it didn’t seem like the right thing to do. But now, she is reminded that the man can talk and couldn’t wait any longer.

“Dr. O?” DeeDee interrupted his current train of thought.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you about a former student?” She picked up the notebook, pulling out a printed out black and white newspaper clipping. DeeDee handed it to him.

He took it from her, looked at the image and laughed. “It’s you?”

DeeDee looked at him in confusion.

“You know people talk around here and I am friends with a lot of folks in Computer Science. Dr. Giacomo told me that someone was looking for Erik. I guess I just wasn’t thinking it would be you.” He continued to laugh.

“Oh. Of course, she would.” DeeDee huffed out as she scooted further back into the chair.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh.” He reached for her notebook, “May I?”

DeeDee handed him the notebook. Dr. Oubre pulled the ink pen from his dress shirt and wrote on the first blank page he found. He handed it back to her.

“That’s his email. He said that he is fine with you asking him anything.”

“Wait. What? He is expecting to hear from me?” DeeDee fumbled with the notebook when Dr. Oubre handed it over.

“Yes, he was surprised that you didn’t just search for him using the information on the article.”

DeeDee silently chastised herself, remembering what she told the other professor the other day. “About that, I didn’t even think of it. I saw Southern University and that was all she wrote.” She nervously laughs.

“No problem. I’m sure he’ll be able to answer whatever questions you have.” Dr. Oubre stood up. “So, how’s your unnecessary prepwork going?”

“It’s not unnecessary. I just want to be prepared, Dr. O.”

“DeeDee, you have been studying this stuff for the last 4 years. You know it and your 150 page dissertation shows that.” He moved around behind his desk, “They are only going to ask you about what is in there and what work you want to do with the information from this study.”

“I understand that, but --”

“Look, you have nothing to worry about. It is more a presentation then an actual defense. And I wouldn’t stress about the lack of response from those other universities about your interviews because I know you have applied to others. You got this.”

DeeDee took a deep breath before responding, “You are right, Dr. O. I have applied to about 5 other places, but those were all in my top 2 tiers.”

“And about your upcoming defense?”

“Right again. I know it like the back of my hand. So, I will try not to stress about it anymore.” DeeDee stood up and grabbed her things.

“Glad to hear it. Oh, by the way, you do know Dr. Bell is retiring at the end of the year?”

“Yeah, they told all of us last week. Sounds like the annual department Christmas party will be her retirement party.”

Dr. Oubre handed her a small flyer, “That’s right. Here’s your invitation. Hope to see you there.”

DeeDee looked down at it, “I’m there with bells on.” She laughed at her little joke.

“Nope, you gotta go.” He pointed at the door, while trying not to laugh. “I don’t think we need to meet next week, unless something comes up and you want to talk.”

“I agree.” DeeDee stopped at the door and held up the notebook, “And thanks again for this, Dr. O.”

“You’re welcome, DeeDee.” He sat down and watched as DeeDee left his office.

---

Sitting at her home office desk, DeeDee stared at the blank message box on her computer screen. The only thing typed out was Erik’s email address. She picked up her glass of water and took a sip.

She spent the last hour looking up information on him. Found out that he’s back in Oakland and not even active in the science field anymore. He was the Director for one of the Wakanda Outreach Centers. It was fascinating what she read and found out about the work he was currently doing.

And just like that, she was afraid to move forward. It should be simple. Send him an email about finding the little note in an old textbook. The end. He could do whatever he wanted with the information. But DeeDee’s mind was playing out possible scenarios like stuff she had seen in her favorite sappy romantic movies. And while the thought excited her, it also freaked her out at the same time.

Things like that did not happen to women like her. Sure, she was kind of pretty and low maintenance, but most guys did not find her interesting enough to have a relationship with. And because of that she just didn’t try to pursue them, which is much different than what her friends believed about her. There was no message in a bottle type romance or love for her. So, why even bother?

She closed the email and decided to let the matter go. At least, she found out who wrote the note. Curiosity piqued and answered. Now, time to focus on her future and career.

Taglist: @teakturn @ghostfacekill-monger @shaekingshitup @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @woahitslucyylu @ladymac82 @bugngiz @eyeknowmywrites @ajspencer1892 @blackpinup22 @sarcastic-sunshines

Let me know if you want to be added to the list.

#25 days of christmas challenge #erik killmonger x oc #black panther fanfiction #bp christmas #all i want #thadelightfulone

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salexectrian-heir · 3 years

Text

messages from last night update

chapter below the cut | ao3 link

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1ST 4:57 AM

[Joker] Hi

[Joker] Story time

[✧ Oracle ✧] i see yusuke returned ur phone

[Joker] Aha, yeah. After swearing on my life I would not make any more poor life choices

[Joker] I assume that was your doing

[✧ Oracle ✧] ur welcome

[Joker] Hmm well I might not have sworn hard enough

[✧ Oracle ✧] ???

[Joker] bet you 500 yen you can’t guess where I woke up this morning (without hacking my location)

[✧ Oracle ✧] oh god akira… jail?

[✧ Oracle ✧] again??!

[Joker] No

[Joker] Better

[✧ Oracle ✧] !!?

[Joker] On the catwalk of the auditorium

[✧ Oracle ✧] BRUH

[✧ Oracle ✧] didnt yusuke like walk u home???

[Joker] He did

[Joker] I just didn’t stay home after

[✧ Oracle ✧] (-_-;)・・・

[✧ Oracle ✧] but don’t they lock up the buildings at night….

[Joker] ...

[✧ Oracle ✧] also i’m p sure catwalks are at least fifteen meters in the air??

[Joker] ...

[Joker] I am surprisingly still very dexterous while intoxicated

[✧ Oracle ✧] o m g

[✧ Oracle ✧] what possessed u to sneak out of the dorm, pick a lock, scale scaffolding, and fall asleep on a metal beam is / literally / beyond me

[Joker] Me too, It's all very...fuzzy after getting back to the dorms

[Joker] Maybe I was a cat in a past life

[✧ Oracle ✧] cat!kira

[✧ Oracle ✧] congrats u now have a fursona to add to your growing list of ‘sonas

[Joker] Cat!kira go prrr?

[✧ Oracle ✧] HAHAH a self-drag?

[✧ Oracle ✧] Someone truly is hungover and regretting his life choices

[Joker] Jokes aside, all that flexibility training I did in hs apparently paid off

[Joker] I have no new bruises or injuries that I am aware of so I made it up in one piece. Somehow.

[✧ Oracle ✧] wait hold up I thot all that “training” u’d say u were doing was just like horny akira code for “going to mess around with Sumi after school”

[✧ Oracle ✧] don’t tell me u actually were doing gymnastics with her that whole time

[Joker] Okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] ????

[Joker] You literally just told me not to tell you

[✧ Oracle ✧] but was i right?! i NEED to kno if i was right

[Joker] Haha yes and no

[Joker] We did both

[Joker] is typing...

[✧ Oracle ✧] oKAY OKAY OKAY NO DETAILS (SAVE THOSE FOR ANN)

[✧ Oracle ✧] JUST CONFIRMATION THANK U next

[Joker] You have written fanfic more explicit than anything I could ever tell you I’ve done, AND I PROOF READ IT FOR YOU

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•//д//•)ノ [ok true]

[✧ Oracle ✧] but

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•̀//д//•́)ノ

[Joker] Ik Ik, I’m teasing. I won’t corrupt your virginal ears

[✧ Oracle ✧] /anyway/ people r gonna be mad jealous when they find out u dated an olympic gymnast

[Joker] She wasn’t one when we dated though so technically I didn’t

[Joker] She found out she qualified shortly before we went back to being just friends

[Joker] I think we’re both much happier this way

[✧ Oracle ✧] Obviously. you still talk to her??

[Joker] Yeah

[Joker] We caught up before the semester started

[Joker] She said she was nervous, but that’s to be expected when you’re on the global stage. Aside from that she’s fitting in really well with her new teammates. She just wishes Kasumi could have been a part of it

[✧ Oracle ✧] </3

[Joker] Yeah :( </3

[Joker] But she’s good

[Joker] Still calls me senpai though...which idk how to feel about that

[✧ Oracle ✧] lol its ~cute~

[Joker] Hmm leaning towards don’t think so

[✧ Oracle ✧] “oh ~senpai~ you’ll still watch me compete in the olympics on TV right?”

[Joker] ...did you listen in on the call

[✧ Oracle ✧] no

[Joker] “no,” she lied like a liar (I know you still have my phone bugged damn it)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1ST 5:01 AM

[✧ Oracle ✧] *kicks down the door to the thieves den*

[✧ Oracle ✧] INARI U FAILED

[✧ Oracle ✧] GUESS WHERE AKIRA IS

[✧ Oracle ✧] (hint: not where he’s supposed 2 be)

[Fox] Preposterous! He was safely returned to his dorm room. I personally put him to bed.

[Panther] you stayed over in their dorm room Fox… isn’t he in there w/you??

[Fox] is typing...

[Fox] Ah. It appears that I am in his bed and Akira is indeed missing. I was on the floor when we went to sleep. I have no recollection of this transfer.

[Fox] I have awoken Ryuji but all he has done is throw his possessions at me in an attempt to silence my “pestering” so I do not think he will be of any help in this situation.

[Joker] Don’t bother with him Fox. He isn’t responsive until at least 9am after a night out.

[Joker] Also, why aren’t the rest of you sleeping?

[Panther] Joker! you’re alive!!! are you okay???????

[Joker] Define okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles*

[Panther] where are you?!?

[Joker] You aren’t going to guess?

[Panther] jail?

[Fox] Please let it not be true your detective arrested you last night, and you are suffering in incarceration as we type.

[Joker] Why is jail everyone’s first guess? I was only arrested once!

[Joker] Fuck

[Joker] Also, he is not “my” detective

[Fox] is typing…

[✧ Oracle ✧] u sure about that

[Joker] Oh no

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls reread our messages from last night

[Joker] Oh GOD

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles louder*

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can’t wait to hear what inari is about to dish out

[Panther] wait what did akira say to you @ ✧ Oracle ✧?!

[Joker] Futaba please *softly* don’t

[Fox] Last night I had to relieve you of your phone before you texted the detective prince incriminating evidence of your state of inebriation and infatuation. You were adamant that you had to send him a picture of a cat as a token of your feelings, which I objected as the image you selected was not flattering of the cat. I may have just met you a few days ago, so please tell me if I am overstepping my bounds, but I do not think sending hideous pictures of cats is a wise way of winning over this man’s affections.

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls show us the picture he wanted to send

[Fox]

[Panther] Hahahah oh akira

[✧ Oracle ✧]

[Joker] …

[Joker] I’ll be staying at this undisclosed location until further notice

[Panther] no Akira!!! seriously where are you??

[Joker] the_view_is_nice.image

[Panther] :O

[Panther] how did you get up that high???

[✧ Oracle ✧] gymnastics training

[Panther] huh? i didn’t know you were a gymnast Akira!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] im sure he’ll tell u all about it now

[Joker] -____-

[Fox] I cannot believe I failed my first mission as the Chosen One.

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can

[Fox] is typing…

[Panther] @ ✧ Oracle ✧!!!!!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] kek

[Fox] I am an utter disgrace to this friendship. How can I even call this a friendship when I have done nothing but leech from the kindness you all have bestowed upon me. How will I ever be able to show my face among you, those whom I have failed. I must atone for the shame I have wrought.

[Joker] You didn’t fail @ Fox, and you are not a disgrace. It was my fault. I was the shitty friend in this situation. I’ll make it up to everyone, and to you Fox. I’ll think of something.

[Fox] Food would suffice.

[Joker] Dinner for a week it is.

[Fox] Delightful!

[Panther] wow he got over that fast

[✧ Oracle ✧] welcome to being friends with Inari, the path of forgiveness is through his stomach

***

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1st 5:07 AM

[Joker] Slight problem

[Joker] I actually have no idea how to get down

[✧ Oracle ✧] u really r part f*cking cat

***

Regrettably, some of his life choices last night did him no favors.

Mistakes had been made. Limits and Lessons had been learned. Unfortunately the hard way.

After miraculously finding a way down off the catwalk without injury into his dorm shower and a fresh set of clothes, Akira managed to show up for his opening shift at Big Bang Blends ten minutes early.

Haru took one look at him when he slinked into the kitchen and immediately said, “Oh dear.”

Akira spun a damp curl around his finger. “That bad, huh?”

“Uhm.” Haru offered him a wobbling, pitiful smile. “You kind of look like how I would imagine a cat that got caught outside in the rain might feel.”

He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and wandered over to the apron rack. “Fair comparison.” Selecting his off its hook, he pulled it over his head. “I’d add on that the cat also got stuck in a tree and developed a splitting migraine.”

“I know just the thing that’ll sort you out!” Haru hovered over to Akira’s side. “Whenever I--” she paused, considering her words with a finger to her lip, “overindulge,” she settled on with a giggle, “I’ll make myself a cup of my special tea. It instantly clears my head and calms my stomach.”

Akira’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “ Special tea ?”

Haru nodded vigorously. “It works like a charm! And I’m not just saying that because I drink it, I have a friend--well, I might be overstepping if I were to call him that, we aren’t that close,” Haru sighed, “but I make it for him too when he occasionally stumbles in here in a similar state.”

“Do I want to know what’s in it?” he asked hesitantly.

Haru beamed brightly at him. “No.”

Akira groaned.

“I promise it’ll work,” Haru said, wandering out of the kitchen and over to her collection of loose leaf teas that were displayed in clear, sealed jars behind the counter. She called back to him, “You’ll perk up in no time!”

He gave her a weak thumbs up.

Picking up the task list from the side of the walk in freezer, he resigned himself to his fate of ingesting whatever the fuck concotion Haru was going to feed him. It couldn’t have been worse than what he drank last night. In all honesty, he would have been feeling way, way, worse if Yusuke hadn’t convinced him to drink so much water when they got back. Akira would like to think the fact he wasn’t curled up on the floor in the fetal position on the cafe floor was also thanks in part to the Amazake he had chosen to drink the night prior too. But the thought of the non-alcoholic sake made his stomach churn harder so he stopped that train of thought immediately, and focused on setting up the dining area. His head felt like it weighed five pounds heavier than it usually did, which made moving it a bit of a hassle, but he had the opening sheet to finish before the cafe opened and he’d damn himself if he didn’t deliver.

What his stomach did seem safe to think about was luck stats, and that maybe Futaba was onto something when she had made that off hand comment in their chat last night. Akira was incredibly lucky to have landed two bosses ( three if he counted Sojiro but the man was more like a father than he ever was a boss) who cared more about his well being as a person than as a source of cheap labor. Watching Haru make his tea as he flipped chairs down off the tables only amplified his guilt of showing up before her utterly and unmistakably hungover.

Being the sloppy friend did not sit well with Akira.

He swore to himself as he pushed in the last chair he took down that this was the first and last time he ever did anything as stupid and irresponsible as he did last night. Not to mention, his luck wouldn’t last if he kept this up. He’d make it up to everyone somehow, and Haru in particular now. He wouldn’t let his current state impact his work.

And once he stopped feeling like dogshit and could form a coherent argument, he was going to have a long, hard talk with whichever one of his personas decided it would be great fucking idea to drink so much, scale the interior of the theatre, and fall asleep on a steel beam no greater than sixty centimeters in width. Because honestly, what the fuck ?

Even In high school, his “peak stupidity” years, he hadn’t done anything as dumb as this.

Okay, well, that was a lie.

He had done a lot of stupid, often illegal things (see: petty theft, breaking and entering) in high school that to him, had been justified. He was quite gifted at stealing and knew his way around a lock with professional proficiency, and he had gotten away with it unscathed for a very long time.

Except for the whole getting arrested and put on probation thing , which ironically had been for a crime he didn’t actually commit.

“It’s ready!”

“Thanks, Haru.”

Akira swung by the to-go counter reaching for the mystery tea waiting for him and continued on.

After thirty minutes of sipping on whatever miracle cure Haru brewed as he checked off the morning set up tasks, it fucking kicked in. The mind fog and nausea disappeared almost entirely, settling his stomach enough that he was able to keep down some Advil and melon pan with Haru for breakfast. Akira could handle the headache until the medicine took over.

He just couldn’t move too fast or too sudden (Akira was still a little too off balance for that), or turn his neck sharply (thanks to what he had drunkenly decided to use as a pillow the night before). But he powered through it as he set about stocking the various coffee beans in their containers.

The last item on the task sheet they completed together. Prepping the food items for the pastry case with all of the baked goods Haru had made the night before. In addition to mochi, goma dango, and other pastries one would expect to enjoy with tea and coffee, there was always some kind of cake. Meticulously and lovingly decorated, sliced by hand that Haru showcased in her cake display. Today’s selection was a daring one, a pink lemonade cake with delicately applied ombre pink frosting and topped with candied lemon slices that were evenly spaced, each sitting on an artful dollop of whipped white icing.

“Did you want to try a piece, Akira-kun?”

Akira glanced over from where he was sliding a tray of nerikiri into the case. A plate with a modest slice was being extended to him. Eyeing the color up close, his stomach protested. Apparently still a little too hungover to test the limits of his digestive tract with such an extravagant confection.

“It looks amazing, but I think I’ll stick to the melon pan this time Haru.”

“I can always save it for la--”

A sharp series of knocks interrupted their conversation.

From his position squatting on the floor, he checked the time on his phone. There were still five minutes until the cafe officially opened for the day. Haru had warned him there were always a few people who showed up early and failed to read the sign.

“I’ll get it,” Akira sighed, sliding the door of the pastry case shut. “You finish with the cake. I’ll handle our impatient caffeine addict.”

“Oh don’t worry the cake’s all done, I just cut the last slice.” Haru waved Akira off. “I can get him.”

Him?

He hastily straightened up, brushing a few stray sugary crumbs off his apron and immediately looked over at the entrance. Every muscle in his body seized up. Waiting outside the glass doors was one impeccably dressed and restless looking Akechi Goro. Akechi rolled his shoulder, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag while he checked his phone.

The message Akira sent Akechi last night intrusively echoed in his head the moment the former detective looked up and locked eyes with him. Pocketing his phone into his suit jacket (it had to be custom fit, because there was no way it could have cut his figure that well without tailoring), he lifted his chin ever so slightly. Akechi’s expression twisted wickedly into something that short circuited Akira’s brain.

Oh.

Fuck .

A war waged between two primal instincts in Akira’s body at the sight, the overwhelming urge to run in the face of danger clashing with a tidal wave of lust. The rush coursed through his veins, freezing him in place. Much like prey that had been cornered, his heart began to thrash against his ribs.

Akechi’s grin was sharp and salacious, a stark contrast to the innocent and winsome smile that the T.V. ready Prince so often wore. Akira didn’t know him all that well (... yet ), but God , that smile just seemed to suit Akechi so much better.

Akira got to witness this side of Akechi knowing it was reserved for only him for about two whole seconds before Akechi’s face changed, shifting into his composed, manufactured doll-like mask when Haru made it over to let him in.

The transformation gave Akira something pretty close to whiplash.

Really arousing whiplash.

“Good morning Akechi-san,” she greeted him, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“And same to you, Okumura-san,” he returned politely, stepping past her and into the cafe proper. “Pardon my early arrival, I have quite the busy day planned unfortunately and was hoping to get a jump start.” He brushed aside a few strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes with a gloved hand. “I hope your morning has been going well.”

“It’s barely started,” Akira muttered, reaching for a to-go cup to start Akechi’s order to busy himself with so he wouldn’t stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of him. His heart needed a break already.

Instead of writing Akechi’s name, he doodled a pair of handcuffs with the bold letters A and G within the negative space in each cuff (Akira admired his work for a brief moment and thought Yusuke would be proud). He marked the drink as a caramel latte, recalling what Haru had put down on his cup yesterday. Then proceeded to make a pour over instead.

Haru flipped the sign to open, and then said, “Very well, so far! I tried out a new cake recipe, you have to try it.”

Akechi laughed, and Akira’s stomach clenched--but this time in an all too pleasant way. Akira diverted his attention from grinding the beans for his drink to watch the detective ( Fuck! ) The sound was light and lyrical, and after what Akira witnessed… sounded totally out of place coming out of the same mouth that had held that smug, voracious grin a moment ago.

“As much as I would love to, I must decline. I cannot get into the habit of having cake for breakfast.”

“Then you must take a slice with you!” Haru walked past him and over to her cake display, lifting the glass lid and taking a piece out.

“Alright, if you insist,” Akechi conceded, coming to a stop in front of Akira, who moved on to scooping the grounds into the damp filter. The proximity made it near impossible to keep his eyes off the detective, but Akira somehow managed it, forcing himself to pay attention to his pour.

“Actually, would you mind if I borrowed your barista for a moment, Okumura-san?”

Akira snapped his head up from his preparations and met Akechi’s eyes once more ( God damnit! ). Which was a really dumb idea as a shock of pain spiked down his neck. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop from wincing.

A dangerous glint appeared in that maroon gaze that catapulted Akira’s thundering heart into his throat.

“Is he in trouble?” Haru peered over her shoulder from where she was packing a bright pink slice of cake into a to-go container.

“He might be,” Goro murmured just loud enough for Akira to hear, then broke their eye contact to address Haru, “I assure you, nothing of the sort.” He smiled that infuriatingly fake smile at her, complete with an innocent tilt of his head. “I just need to ask him a few questions, in private.”

Haru shot Akira a questioning stare, Do you need me to say no?

He shrugged nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as someone who was having a very intense internal meltdown over an insanely attractive man could, and said, “It’s fine, Haru.” He continued to pour the scalding water in a circular motion over the coffee grounds in the filter, doing his best to quiet all the alarm bells in his head.

His response must have come off convincingly enough because Haru nodded and said, “Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem.” She hesitantly returned Akechi’s smile. “But I will need him back in a bit when the morning rush hits.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Akechi turned and gestured to a table in the corner of the cafe--far away enough from the counter that Haru couldn’t possibly overhear their conversation. Then under his breath he added, “As long as Kurusu-kun doesn’t resist, that is.”

Akira cleared his throat, willing his throbbing heart to drop back into its cage between his ribs. “Go on, I”ll join you when I’m finished.”

Akechi nodded, leaving the yen for his coffee on the counter and sauntered away. Akira topped off the pour over and transferred the liquid into the to-go cup. On his way around the counter he snagged what was left of his miracle tea and took a swig. He hoped it would replenish his mental reserves to handle the upcoming verbal sparring match he was sure he was about to walk into.

Akechi, in his immaculate glory, was leaning back in his chair languidly with one dark clad leg crossed. He watched Akira closely as he wandered over with their drinks. Akira suddenly felt incredibly out classed and underdressed in his usual cardigan-v neck combo he had going on compared to Akechi’s tan suit jacket and pressed button down shirt.

He slid into the seat opposite Akechi and pushed his coffee across the table. Akechi nodded in thanks and brought it to his lips.

Akira pretended he didn’t watch the way Akechi’s throat moved as he swallowed his first sip.

The detective hummed approvingly. “Black.”

“The way you actually like it,” Akira said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Is it now,” Akechi chuckled darkly against the lid still pressed to his lips. “Sadly, my coffee preferences are the extent of where your knowledge of me ends.”

In the tenuous silence that descended after that statement, they sipped at their respective drinks. Gazes not once wavering off one another.

“I assume you know why I’m here,” Akechi finally said, cutting the tension.

“When I said ‘come get me ’ I didn’t mean ‘corner me at work ’,” Akira hissed over his cup of miracle tea.

He could think of many other, far more superior places he would have loved to be cornered by Akechi in. But Akira kept that part to himself.

The detective leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. “You do realize if this were a real investigation and I caught you as unaware as you were this morning, you being at work with your Boss present wouldn’t have deterred me.”

Akira stole a glance at Haru, who was busy writing the specials of the day on their blackboard, then drained the rest of his tea.

Akechi followed his gaze and continued on in a saccharine tone that contradicted the alluring smile his mouth had split into again, “But since it’s not, I highly doubt you want an audience for when I bend you over the counter and take what I want from you.”

Akira promptly choked.

Any lingering doubt Akira may have had about Akechi’s preferences evaporated. Akechi knew exactly what he was saying. He had to have, right? There was no heterosexual explanation for that response.

Point to Akechi, he thought, accepting the fact his face was probably as red as the flowering plant hovering three inches above his head.

“How considerate,” Akira managed to rasp once he got his tea to go down his throat correctly. Swallowing burned like a bitch. Now he had to deal with a sore throat on top of the rebellion being staged by his heart and stomach, and the leftover vertigo from his hangover.

“Will you hand it over now?” the detective asked with a hint of sugar coated venom.

“Hate to disappoint, but you’ll be walking away empty handed this morning. I left it in my room.”

Which wasn’t a lie. In his haste to recover from last night’s escapade and get to work on time, he hadn’t thought to grab the handkerchief. The last thing he expected was this.

“I think you’re sending me mixed signals.”.

“Am I?”

“You tell me you want one thing, then act like you didn’t expect it to come to fruition when I follow through on it so I’m curious,” Akechi titled his head and his hair shifted, shining ethereally in the early morning sun streaming through the window. “What is it you really want, Kurusu?”

For you to fuck my brains out, Akira thought. But admitting that so bluntly to Akechi’s face felt like defeat. So, he kept the stupid illusion of their game going and leaned in.

“I want to see if the Detective Prince is really as good at his job as the rumors say he is.” Akira mirrored the detective’s head tilt and offered him a crooked grin. “I won’t be that easy.”

“If you want me to physically remove it from your person, then I must insist from this point forward you carry it with you. If every time I corner you, you… aren’t ready,” Akechi’s smile grew wider, “then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? And unlike you it seems, my time and attention is limited.”

“Rude.” Akira mimicked the detective’s posture, dropping his chin into his palm. “My time is limited too. I just can’t have you stalking me at work. And--” what Akira really meant to say next was , I cannot possibly work and retain my sanity with you watching me like that all the time. But instead said, “--Think of Okumura-san’s business. You’ll scare away her customers.”

Akechi shot him an unimpressed look. “Somehow I highly doubt that.”

Wow. Cocky bastard.

"Well,” Akira said, changing tactics by imbuing a little bit of truth, “I imagine you can relate to not wanting to be distracted at work, with your fans and all.”

“They can be...rather inconvenient at times, yes.” Akechi studied him intently. “Alright then. Let’s make a deal.”

“Making a deal with the enemy? Akechi,” Akira feigned a gasp, “don’t tell me you’re a dirty cop.”

The detective snorted into his coffee. “I’m going to choose not to entertain that comment and suggest we establish some ground rules.”

“I thought rules didn’t exist in investigations,” Akira said mischievously.

“Like I previously stated, good thing this isn’t one, then?”

They shared a private smile.

“I propose this,” Akechi said, straightening up, hands clasped on the table. “From this point on, you will carry it on your person. I will catch you off guard within the next two weeks and take back what is rightfully mine. Our working hours are exempt from this. Obviously, the common spaces in the dormitory will be too by default. Should you ever need me as your RA, that will come first and foremost, I take my duties seriously. As should you. I think you’ll find these terms agreeable and respectful of each other’s time. Unless there are any other locations you want to deem off limits.”

Akira made a show of considering Akechi’s words, tapping a finger against his cheek. This was literally the most drawn out, intellectually charged foreplay Akira had ever engaged in but he couldn’t say it didn’t excite him. In fact, there was something exhilarating about it.

“No. Everywhere else is fair game.”

“Really?” Akechi inquired, grin breaching that rapacious territory again. “Be careful what you agree to, Kurusu.”

Akira shrugged and leaned back.

“So,” Akechi prompted, “you won’t say no, will you?”

Of course he was going to accept. So Akira simply said, “I think I’ll hold on to your handkerchief.” And then held out his hand. It felt like the right thing to do.

“Hah, excellent,” Akechi smiled and shook it firmly. The leather was soft and warm as it dragged against Akira’s palm. “Otherwise, I will be forced to order a room inspection and somehow I doubt that is how you want this to play out.”

“If you are inspecting the room while I’m in it, then I might be.”

Right after the words left his mouth, the logical part of his brain that wasn’t stuck on being hungover and horny on main finally spoke up and reminded him of the very important, expulsion worthy, major cockblock that was currently being housed in his room: Morgana.

But then Akechi’s mouth upturned devilishly, and suddenly Akira decided he’d cross that furry bridge when he got to it.

“Well, then. I must be off. Thank you for the coffee,” Akechi said, dropping Akira’s hand as he stood up. “I have an interview taping in…” he checked his phone and sighed, “just over an hour. Hopefully the trains are on schedule.”

Akira tilted his head. “Still doing those?”

“Yes, keeping up appearances on behalf of the precinct,” Akechi explained, “I may be officially on hiatus as a full time student, but I still pick up cases from time to time. The media wants to know how I balance it all.”

“Ah. Explains the get up.”

Akechi bristled at the comment, his nose wrinkling ( cute! ) and brows drawing down as he straightened his already perfectly straight tie. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing,” Akira teased with a lilt in voice, “It’s nice, maybe a little stuffy.” He deliberately looked Akechi up and down. “But I bet you’d look better out of it, judging by what I saw you wear the last time you showed up here.” He couldn’t fight the coy smile his mouth twisted into even if he tried. “If you’re looking to show off, those shorts from yesterday would do a better job.”

The call out was meant to fluster Akechi, but the detective’s face remained remarkably even toned. Flawless even. Too flawless.

Could he be... he's totally wearing makeup.

Akira lifted a brow pointedly.

That did the trick, earning Akira a heated glare before Akechi turned his head sharply away. The movement roughly shifted the hair around his face, revealing a sliver of skin previously hidden. To Akira’s rapidly dawning delight, the detective’s neck was rapidly turning pink.

“Shut. Up. Kurusu.”

Oh, so Akechi blushes all the way down when he’s flustered. Fascinating. Akira filed the thought away for… later.

For totally innocent purposes.

Totally.

Akira stood up and slipped in front of Akechi, demanding to be looked at. Giddy with his new discovery. “Oh? What’s this? He can dish it out but can’t take it?”

Akechi’s eyes flashed as he brought himself up to his full height, and stepped into Akira’s space. Scowling down the few centimeters he had on him, he forced Akira to take a step back. “You,” he said lowly, continuing to move forward, making Akira walk backwards until his back hit the counter, “are a brat .”

“Just figuring that out now, detective?” Akira smirked. “I thought that was obvious.”

From this close Akira could see just how gorgeous the detective’s eyes truly were. Flecks of light red dotted the center most part of his eyes, giving off the illusion of glittering in the light. He was close enough that if Akira leaned in a fraction more their noses would touch.

A very polite, soft cough came from somewhere on Akira's right.

The detective’s eyes widened in shock. He quickly put space between them again and turned to face Haru, who was standing in between the kitchen and the counter area looking anywhere but at them.

Akira owed her now a second apology.

“I wish both of you a good day,” Akechi gracefully recovered and turned on his heel. He flexed his shoulders as he opened the door but stopped with one foot out the door.

“Oh, and Kurusu-kun?” Akechi turned halfway to face him, “Be sure to check your email this afternoon.”

And then he was gone.

***

It’s Always Snack Time in Tokyo

SEPT 1ST 8:00 AM

[Takuto Maruki] Hello! I was going to wait until I saw you in person, but I can’t resist telling you the good news! I submitted the paperwork to bring on an official research assistant. The chair of the department should grant me an answer by the end of the week. The position is yours once I get the documented approval.

[Takuto Maruki] That is, if you are still interested in conducting research with me like you did over the summer

[Akira Kurusu] I am

[Takuto Maruki] Even more wonderful!

[Akira Kurusu] Won’t it be unethical if you don’t let other people apply for the position though?

[Akira Kurusu] You can’t play favoritism

[Takuto Maruki] I, fortunately, get to make the rules in this situation and I wrote that I could appoint the position to any student that met certain criteria and showed promise in the field

[Akira Kurusu] You literally wrote the position description so that only I fit that criteria, didn’t you

[Takuto Maruki] You would be correct! :D

[Takuto Maruki] So if you’re free and want to get a jump start on assisting, I was hoping to recruit you this upcoming Friday to proctor an exam.

[Akira Kurusu] An exam? The second week of class? Savage Sensei

[Takuto Maruki] It is a 300 level that meets M/W/F so the curriculum moves fast. This cohort in particular is grasping the concepts at a much faster rate than the other two I teach for this course.

[Akira Kurusu] When is it? I open the cafe Friday mornings

[Takuto Maruki] 2pm

[Akira Kurusu] Okay, I can make that work. I’ll be there

[Takuto Maruki] Wonderful! :)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 11:12 AM

[Skull] yo i am not back readin any of that

[Skull] wat did i miss?

✧ Oracle ✧ Changed Skull to Edgelord Can’t Read

[Edgelord Can’t Read] I CAN EFFIN’ READ!!!

[Edgelord Can’t Read] i said i wasn’t gonna, not that i cant big difference

[Edgelord Can’t Read] ur the one who cant read

[✧ Oracle ✧] wow gr8 comeback edgelord im so offended. what r we 7yrs old

[Edgelord Can’t Read] shuddup

***

Gotta Go Fast

SEPT 1st 11:28 AM

[Skull] BRO A CATWALK?! WTF?!?

[Skull] how the eff did u get down??

[Joker] My amazing cat-like reflexes

[Skull] bro

[Skull] how u feelin btw

[Joker] You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go over the hill on a rollercoaster?

[Joker] Like that

[Skull] oof

[Skull] ill make u my ma’s soup when ur shifts over, its the best for this kinda shit

[Joker] Why is everyone being so understanding with me today

[Skull] were ur friends man we gotchu

[Joker] alsdjflskf

[Skull] uh did the rollercoaster drop or smth

[Joker] Haha no

[Joker] Thanks Ryuji

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 2:01 PM

[Edgelord Can’t Read] UH HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CHECK UR EMAILS

[Panther] what?? why??

[✧ Oracle ✧] im surprised u even read ur email

[Joker] Oh.

[Joker] Fuck.

***

To: Shujin Hall_5th Floor

From: Akechi Goro; Niijima Makoto

CC: Kawakami Sadayo

Subject: Violation of Dormitory Rules

Dear Fifth Floor Residents of Shujin Hall,

This is a friendly reminder that there is a strict No Pets Policy in this Residence Hall. A contraband item, a can of pet food, was located on the floor inside the trash room on Friday night. As such, we will be conducting room inspections beginning tomorrow, starting with rooms located in the Girls’ Wing. Let this be an example to all that the consequences for violating this rule will be termination of their dormitory agreement and the loss of their on campus housing status. Any additional charges will be determined by the Residence Hall Director, Kawakami Sadayo.

If you have any further information on this subject, please feel free to contact us.

We hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Sincerely,

Your Resident Assistants

Akechi Goro

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice / Psychology Major | Philosophy Minor [email protected]

Niijima Makoto

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice Major | Psychology & Law Minor [email protected]

#akeshu #shuake #akeshuake #goro akechi #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #akira kurusu #goro akechi x akira kurusu

17 notes · View notes

cursewoodrecap · 3 years

Text

Session 23: Medical Ethics

Y’all ever been to college?

Our new friend Vigdor has just pulled a pale, twitching human leg out of a poster tube, sheepishly admitting to Valeria that it’s his own.

Valeria blinks at it. “Well, it doesn’t appear to be bleeding demons, so that’s good?”

Shoshana sticks her head in the door, and has to pause to take in the sight. “Uh, bruh? Bruh? I have questions. Is that yours? I mean, like, yes, you HAVE it, but was it attached to-“

“That’s a bit tricky? It was amputated twice.”

“Twice?!”

“Once from me, and then, well, um. Once from an amalgam of sewn together body parts?”

(Gral and Shoshana pile into the room, because Oh, Lore?)

“When I was in the swamp, we were fighting a bunch of zombies led by this particularly nasty undead guy. We called it the Wailing Wight. At first it was just the usual undead hordes, but then a local leatherworker was found, torn apart and harpooned every which way, half his limbs torn off and stolen. After that, we started getting attacked by stitched together abominations cobbled together from human and animal pieces. I was there just trying to help the villagers, being a doctor and all. But that’s when I lost my actual limbs.”

“They got stolen, like the leatherworker’s?”

“I had to chop them off. Which, for the record, is not a fun time? The Wight’s harpoon has a kind of poison that rots everything it touches. So I had to amputate or, like, die. So I cut them off and his zombies, uh, stole them. And I managed to get one back? Kind of a long story. I don’t know how I recognized it, but – I guess I know my own leg like the back of my hand? Now I’m taking it back to Sturmhearst. There’s a weird fluid inside it; I want to study what’s going on with that so we can take care of the nastyboy in the swamp.”

“Well, I am generally against nastyboys,” says Shoshana, poking his foot in the ticklish bit. It squirms at her.

We’re headed to Sturmhearst anyway, so traveling together seems reasonable. We think about taking Fun Key Shortcuts, but that could backfire spectacularly, so we’ll play it safe and go the normal, boring way.

In the morning, we head downstairs. The inn is trashed. The stalwart barkeep Rene is not there; instead there’s a young elf sweeping out what debris he can. As we grab breakfast and the young fellow thanks us over and over for saving his friend’s life, Vigdor awkwardly wanders around casting Mending on chairs and tables that got a little too close to the tentacles and chainsaws. Shoshana doesn’t really do non-destructive magic, but she slips the barkeep some gold for repairs.

Vigdor’s too lopsided for a horse, so he’s gonna hop on in our cart. He’s very taken with the Eyegis, poking at it with fascination. “You can see the blood vessels in the eyes, despite no source for a blood supply! Do they have tear ducts? Have you ever seen the shield produce tears? Can you make it cry?”

Valeria gets very uncomfortable with this line of questioning and turns the eyes back into painted ones, put off by a Weird Stranger gettin’ all up in her business. Gral distracts him by asking about his fancy metal limbs.

Vigdor goes full technobabble on how the runes and machinery work. “Well, there’s three different kind of magical actuators on each joint, and they act as conduits for the dilithium crystals-” He knows the details secondhand from Bjork and none of us speak robotics, so if he ever needs serious repairs he’ll have to bring them back to Sturmhearst for the engineers to take a look at.

Valeria knows a bit about Jotunn runesmithing, but she’s never heard of it working to this degree of precision; before, she’d only heard of stuff like boats that row themselves, or a peg leg that has a little extra articulation. These are fully actuated limbs!

Val checks if the limbs are the same metal as our space wrench, but nope, they look like completely normal everyday metals. She’s not gonna inspect further, because she has RESPECT, unlike SOME people.

(“Hey, I didn’t try to pry the eyes open or anything!” Vigdor protests.)

She does notice one thing, though: Valeria recognizes runes from most magic systems even though she doesn’t know them well enough to use; her sister studied magic for a long time, so she knows what they look like. There’s one elaborate rune that appears on both Vigdor’s forearm and leg that is of no origin she’s ever seen.

“How long’d it take Bjork to build this thing?” Shoshana asks, squinting at Vigdor’s kneecap.

“Well, I was unconscious for a good bit of it so…between a week and 2 months? He was already working on it when I, uh, had to amputate.”

“…did you KNOW you were gonna wake up with those things on?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. It took a while ‘cause the original blueprints they found were for somebody, like…really short for a human or really tall for a halfling? Something in between. Bjork had to resize the whole model to fit a human.”

“He, uh, FOUND blueprints?

“I can’t imagine he’d have made blueprints for a person who didn’t exist? It was all proportioned very strangely. I don’t know too much about it, you’d have to ask Professor Bjork.”

(One of the players asks if the strange rune, perhaps, says ISTC in a language the characters don’t know. It DOES, and we’re all very pleased with ourselves for previous-campaign references.)

The long road stretches on before us, and we have plenty of time to talk as we spend a week or two heading north toward the coast. We fill Vigdor in on the four flavors of Curse and the concept of the Prisoners, and that we suspect there’s major Key nonsense going on up at the university. (Heh heh, “major key.”)

Vigdor and Shoshana bond over being locals. Why are foreigners so weird about trolls?

Vigdor really, really wants to look at Twombly’s glasses. We explain to him that the Key could take his desire for knowledge and turn him into a cackling, dimension-hopping madman with a few extra eyeballs. He still wants to play with the glasses. Valeria protectively hides the Key map, just in case, flashing her Hunt fangs at anyone who asks about it.

After like a week of pestering everybody, Vigdor gets to look at the glasses. Disappointingly, when not looking at the Key map, the colorful lenses just make everything look slightly more those colors. Maybe Gral’s lutestrings look weird, but that could be the placebo effect. He tries flipping around the many lenses in different combinations, and finds that all of them make him look absolutely ridiculous.

Eventually after many days of travel, we can smell the ocean and the distinctive stench of a large number of humans living in one place. Vigdor takes in the familiar sight of his college hometown. Shoshana is dumbfounded that this many people can live on top of each other, while Valeria thinks it’s a quaint little town.

Up to the west, Sturm Castle squats on a cliff above the city, like a big hippo of knowledge. It looks like it was once a reasonable castle shape, but it’s had new wings and towers built onto it haphazardly until it’s a weird sprawling network of jammed-together architecture. By the edge of the cliff, in one of the more sensibly-built sections, a majestic lighthouse beams out over the bay. In the city below, the largest building appears to be a grand temple, with its roof carved in the shape of an open book. The perimeter of the city is outlined by strange wooden and metal towers, two or three stories tall with conical brass roofs.

Eh. It’s only got one castle, so it can’t be that good of a city compared to Aurentium.

Our cart is briefly stopped for a quick examination at the gate by a friendly city guardsman. He’s flanked by two of the same enormous owl-masked guards we saw accompanying Quercus and Ulmus. “Hi, welcome to Sturmhearst, folks! What brings you here?”

We all awkwardly try not to look at Vigdor’s leg bag.

“I’m, uh, here to visit Dr. Emily Thorpe?” he tries.

“Oh, visiting the university. Don’t need yer life story. Where you stayin’? I can recommend some inns. Oh, and check out the Scholar’s Temple while yer here!” He hands us a brochure from the Sturmhearst Tourism Board and steps back. “ALL RIGHT BIG GUYS, LET EM THROUGH!”

The owl guards don’t move.

“Oh, uh, I mean –“ He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a whistle. “Lemme see if I can remember how the doc told me to do this.” He blows a few sharp notes on the whistle, and the owl guards promptly step off the road to let us through.

Huh.

Vigdor makes an investigation check on those guards, who definitely weren’t around back when he was in school. They’re pretty bulky for humans – no, honestly, they’d be bulky even for goliaths. He’d heard a story from Professor Bjork that the school was hiring goliath mercs and dressing them in owl masks, but the professor had sounded like he hadn’t believed it much. Supposedly they’re silent because they don’t speak the language, but Vigdor’s pretty sure Bjork speaks Jotunn, so that excuse doesn’t quite hold up.

Once we’re out of the guards’ earshot, Gral pulls a huddle. “Vigdor, the Key’s a more recent influence, so let us know about anything new or significantly more abundant – that’s where we’ll need to search.”

Vigdor hmms. “The big brass towers weren’t here before. And the owl guys didn’t used to be a thing.”

Gral cuts another glance back to the owl guards, considering. “…How much of a faux pas is it to remove a Sturmhearst person’s mask?”

“I mean, if you’re dealing with the plague, it’s kind of a dick move? And dangerous? But most people – it’s like, the same rudeness of grabbing someone’s hat or jacket. For some people it’s badge of honor or superiority, y’know, how amazing they were to get through the gauntlet of Sturmhearst. But mostly it’s a practical tool of the job. We’re not, like, afraid to show our faces.”

Gral nods. “So you wouldn’t have to duel them, then.”

“W-what?”

“Oh, with bards it’s like ‘you are not deserving of your title’ and you have to duel about it. You know, like, how dare you slander my name, I’ll have to fight you for my honor?”

“Oh, uh, no, nothing like that. The mask is proof of office, that’s all.”

Before we get investigating, though, it’s late and we should rest. Vigdor wasn’t a palling-around-town type, but he rolls a nat 20 and knows the best inn in the city – not one of those touristy places on the square; the best-kept-secret on a side street that only the locals and regulars know about.

We have a lovely night around the docks of Sturmhearst. Shoshana spends like fifteen minutes just staring out to sea, because they MAKE boats that big???? This much water even EXISTS????? There’s a dragonborn ship from Aurentium, a goliath ship from Jotunhein, a couple of Galwan freighters, and even a ship crewed by colorful macaw aarakocra. (History check: while the Aquilians mostly died out, some of the ground-based aarakocra cultures survived. Valeria’s met macaw traders before in Aurentium; they tell lots of stories and do GREAT impressions.)

Valeria, meanwhile, holies some ocean water. They say Galwan clerics swear by holy seawater; salt repels demons, right? It’s gross harbor water but, whatever, it’s holy now. She also beats a sea captain at Man-go, presumably dock style. The inn’s equipped for foreign travelers, so it’s got a whole bar of draconic and goblin spices!

Gral, meanwhile, discovers the inn is near a bath house and enjoys finding out what a sauna is.

Morning comes, and Sturmhearst U awaits. Vigdor knows the main campus has the colleges of Engineering, Science, and Medicine, while the satellite campus across the bay houses the college of Ethics, which includes humanities like economics and history.

Valeria rolls for Order of the Rose knowledge. The Order actually has an arrangement with Sturmhearst when they’re working in Valdia – whenever the Order is sent on disaster relief, some Sturmhearst ethicists are sent to help coordinate. Valeria’s never worked with them personally, but the impression she’s gotten from her fellow knights is Not Great. From what she’s heard, they’re supposed to do triage and help direct the knights, but it seems like they spend the whole time sitting around debating absolutely horrible things. “Hey, if we brewed up some necromancy, could we use the skeletons of plague victims to transport supplies without spreading the infection?” Apparently they just sit around in corners debating whether that kind of shit is kosher or not, without ever actually DOING anything.

Also ethicists wear white instead of black like most Sturmhearst scholars, which is just pretentious. We then poke fun at an Order of the Rose knight calling anyone else pretentious.

Vigdor studied at the College of Medicine; he’s a doctor. But that’s not where he’s taking the leg.

“Why not Medicine? I mean, it’s a human body part, innit?” Shoshana asks.

“It’s…I have some concerns…regarding the, um. So, along with this leg, my arm was stolen, right? Not long after the arm was stolen, the sewn-together amalgams got a lot, uh, cleaner.”

We stare at him.

“…as if whatever stitched them together had my medical training.”

…oh.

“I’m a little hesitant taking that info to the College of Medicine,” he admits.

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of ‘for the greater good’ stuff with the College of Medicine sometimes. The College of Ethics keeps them in check. Anyway, there’s actually this thaumochemist I want to take a look at it.”

(We’d know the discipline as alchemy, but she hates that. She’ll go on a whole tirade about it. Somebody yells “Full Metal Thaumochemist” and we accidentally take a commercial break. We’ll never get tired of that joke.)

More of those owl guards are at the door, supervised by a businesslike white-coated member of the College of Ethics. His mask is a bit more abstract than the ones we’re used to; not modeled after a bird face like the regular scholars’. He lets Vigdor in with no problem, though he’s a bit suspicious of the rest of us. We’re with a doctor, though, so he’ll let it slide. “Welcome to Sturmhearst, may your visit be enlightening.” He does the same whistle we heard before and the guards step aside. Gral’s a string guy, he can figure out the notes easily enough but he doesn’t whistle.

“Nothing goes on here without Ethics knowing about it, huh,” Gral observes.

More owl guards are stomping around, some carrying heavy objects. Vigdor knows where he’s going, but asks an owl guard for directions, as an experiment. The owl guard doesn’t even notice him. He steps in front of the guard, who just steps around him very politely.

The castle is a nightmare to navigate, like Hoeska, but we have an expert tour guide. “The old keep, the part that used to be a castle – that’s where all the 101 classes are and the whole working hospital. All the additions are laid out super weird, and then there’s the tunnels underneath. The Chem students had WILD parties down there, they brewed up all SORTS of stuff. The lighthouse is a real lighthouse, but it’s also where admin is, and the dean’s and headmaster’s offices. Oh! DO NOT cross the librarians. Each college has its own library? Like, theoretically they share the whole collection, but which college keeps which books is kind of a blood sport…”

Shoshana and Gral hang back, feeling out of place. “Bards don’t really have a college, exactly?” Gral explains. “It’s more of a pilgrimage. I met the elders of each village and they imparted wisdom upon me?”

Shosh feels like an uneducated hick even by that standard.

We take a hairpin turn in one of the Science buildings and run into Professor Quercus! Or at least someone with a bird mask and a similar voice, chatting with some other masked scholar. “Ah! Yes! We made a lot of excellent discoveries before we started to run into problems – you see, there hadn’t been an event in some time, but if we could get in there to the source, we could really – well, my goodness! These are the people I was telling you about, who gave me such wonderful notes!” Quercus turns to us, sounding rather delighted. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. Welcome to the world of knowledge! What brings you here? I thought you were having adventures and derring-do!”

“Well, it turns out our adventures led here!” Gral tells him.

Quercus nods enthusiastically. “I’d show you around, but I rather need to speak to the bursar! If you need anything, I’m sure you can find my offices without too much problem. And please, if you’ve encountered any interesting monsters, I’d love to hear details! Especially if you have samples!” Despite his keen excitement, Professor Quercus rolls a four and fails to notice our Shusva accessories.

“If you ever need a cup of tea and a biscuit, you’re welcome to stop by my office! I’d be more than happy to speak with you! And if you could do me a favor – well, I wouldn’t mind having you with me when I speak to the bursar! See, our expedition to Holzog has hit a bit of a snag. The events with that mist stopped happening, you see. Luckily, we managed to identify which house you were going to, and we were all set to investigate, but then the Baroness put a squadron of those damnable Condotierri to prevent us getting in – “

Gral shrugs, deliberately casual. “I don’t know why you’d go back; there’s not much to see besides what’s already in the notes.”

(Vigdor immediately rolls insight to see if Gral is lying. Unfortunately for him, bards are excellent liars.)

“Anyway. The bursar’s giving me an earful about continuing to fund the expedition. I’m considering withdrawing from Holzog and asking him to redirect the funds into a different project! For example, lots of interesting monsters have been seen around Barroch lately!”

Yes, definitely, we want him to go somewhere that’s not a Tempting Key Portal. Valeria and Gral tag-team Persuasion checks to sell him on interesting cases of monsters we’ve heard of around Barroch. If we’re fuzzy on the details – well, all the more reason to have someone get out there and take a closer look!

Quercus is rather taken by the idea. “If you would, Mr. Duu –“

“Um, actually, Duu is the tribe, my family’s name is-“

“-yes, if you could write me some letters, I might find it useful making the acquaintance of the locals while setting up camp. Sturmhearst hasn’t established an official relationship to your people yet’”

Gral agrees to write up a formal letter explaining the mission of Sturmhearst and the expedition to make introductions a bit smoother; the word of a bard will go a long way in gaining the cooperation of the orcs of Barroch. He’ll do a personal letter of introduction for Quercus, and a general letter to Shieldeater’s administration to explain who the heck these weird bird people are.

“Wonderful! Bring it by my office!” He gives us directions that make NO sense to anyone but Vigdor. We’re pretty sure several of those compass directions aren’t real words?

“Oh, and if you see an angry tall woman stomping around, tell her I’m not here! She’s mad at me for some reason I can’t discern. Good day!”

He scuttles off, presumably to hide.

We definitely want the gossip on that – Ulmus was mad at him about funding, and she definitely dissed his field of study. Is this what academia is like?

Vigdor confirms that the professors have all kind of weird beefs, interdepartmental politics, and personal feuds. “One of my professors gave me a B- in amputation – shows what he knows – purely because I was taking some classes outside the College of Medicine and he got all offended. It’s a lot of politics and bullshit, they’re all more concerned about their careers and publishing than actually important stuff.”

We find a door with a brass plaque: Dr Emily Thorpe, Thaumochemist. There’s a paper list tacked to her door with a list of courses: “Intro to Potion Brewing,” “Principles of Alchemy Thaumochemistry”

Vigdor knocks. “Yes, who’s there? Come in!” a voice calls.

“It’s Vigdor! Vigdor Gavril!”

“Ah, Vigdor!” A halfling woman in the requisite bird mask waves from behind a counter where she’s handling a set of proper Movie Science bubbling beakers and flasks. “Yes, you sent me that letter! You had something ‘interesting’ for me!”

“Yes, and you will see why I couldn’t be more detailed!”

She notices his metal arm as he starts pulling open his heavy waterproofed case. “Oh! I heard that Professor Bjork was giving you his prototype! How’s it working?”

“They’re loud and heavy and uncomfortable sometimes, but I have limbs! Can’t complain! But then I, uh, found one of my limbs again.”

He goes over to an open table and pulls out his entire-ass leg with a flourish, plus vials of hair and blood and strange unidentified liquids. Her eyes widen.

“Ah, this is yours!” She watches his toes wiggle. “Well, you don’t see that every day.”

“Yeah, I found it stitched to some kind of unholy undead abomination.”

“And that explains the Knight of the Rose. Hello, Kyr.”

“Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service!”

“Dr. Emily Thorpe, at your service as well, I guess? Pardon the mess in my lab, it’s not much but it’s home. Hand me that vial?” She pulls out a syringe and takes a sample of not blood, but oily black liquid, from the leg. “It will take some time, but I can write up a thaumaturgical profile without much difficulty. Do you mind if I keep it?”

“You can hang on to it. But I would appreciate discretion.”

“Yes, this will stay between me, your friends, and – oh, this is Hugo, he’s my teaching assistant. He’s been helping since the school was mobilized.” She turns to Vigdor’s clearly uneducated hick friends (not you, Valeria, you’re very fancy) and explains:

“In times of crisis, the University turns from education to innovation. Were this a disease, we’d be researching cures! If demonic, we’d be researching weapons or dimensional banishment. We haven’t really received direct orders this time, so everybody is doing their own thing, which I can’t say I mind. Mostly I’ve been helping other researchers with the practical application of their theorems.”

She scribbles out a hasty list. “Hugo, if you can go to the library and put these books on order? The Vigmar and the Auspelius especially would be useful, but don’t let the librarians kill anyone over them. And the Principles of Advanced Anatomy – tell them I won’t ask. But I do need it.” The grad student nods and hustles out of the room.

(Shoshana insights, out of paranoia. Hugo’s a good egg, though he might refer to thaumochemistry as alchemy.)

“Now, Dr. Gavril, do you want this leg back? How intact-“

“Want it back? Like, in the abstract, or on my body?”

She pulls out a vial of bubbling acid. “I’d like to put some of this on it and I’d like to see what happens.”

He blanches slightly. “Uh. Um. I have some proprietary-“

“Aw, no acid then,” she grumbles, stowing the acid with an audible sigh.

“Only do something you would do to living person’s leg. That they would survive!”

“How would I know? I’m a chemist, this is only, like, my second dead person!” She pauses. “…well, fifth.”

Shoshana starts looking around at all the alchemy equipment curiously. Everything here is clearly labeled with numbers, and letters that feel like numbers, and complex formulae, which hedgewitch potionery doesn’t really account for.

There’s a knock at the door. “Ah, that must be Hugo. Come in!”

Valeria instinctively body-blocks the leg from view.

It is not Hugo. In walk 3 white-clad ethicists. The gentleman at the front is in fancier robes – we suspect he’s the kind of fellow who has tenure – and he wears a powdered judge’s wig atop his mask. We immediately don’t like it. His two companions peer around the lab – one has a jeweler’s loupe built into the lens of his mask, and the other is carrying a big chime with runes carved into it, clearly a magic item of some sort.

“Dr Thorpe,” the leader intones.

“Sorbus,” she replies disdainfully.

“I see you have guests, is now a bad time?”

“Is it ever a good time?” Emily makes a point of tending to her samples and beakers busily.

“I suppose not. We have come to ask a few follow-up questions. Have you been visited at all by Professor Matthias Macker? Has he followed up on the project you were working on together?”

“I told you, no! I had no potions strong or precise enough for what he needed, and he’s never spoken to me since. That was months ago!”

“And no one has seen him since then. You understand why we need to know what you discussed.”

“Yeah, not since you quarantined the whole surgical wing!”

“That is not what I’m asking about. Has Macker’s assistant Greta Ruble visited you?”

“No. She’s a good kid, though, don’t hassle her.”

“We are simply making sure she is not a danger.”

Emily sputters angrily. “A danger to who?!”

“I cannot tell you that.” He turns to Valeria. “Kyr, it is always a pleasure to see a member of the Order here. I suppose if you’re here we can be assured nothing… unethical is happening,” he says, unpleasantly oily. “I am Professor Rigmor Sorbus of the College of Ethics; I lecture on legal and judicial ethics. These are my assistants, Charles and Pippin.”

Valeria bows with the precise degree of politeness required. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance. In these times of mobilization, it falls to us as ethicists to supervise our colleagues’ noble efforts. Please, I implore you: if you see anything untoward or suspiciously unusual, I request you report it to the nearest representative of the College of Ethics.”

Emily butts in. “What happened to Eric Pelbort, his other assistant?”

“Mr. Pelbort has transferred to the College of Ethics and is assisting us with some research. We will let you know if that changes.” He tells her dismissively. “Kyr Argent, the College of Ethics has always been proud of our long association with the Order, and I would like to extend our deepest condolences for the tragedy of the Crusade. Should you have need of any assistance whatsoever, do not hesitate to ask. Our offices are on the satellite campus across the bay. If you were to visit, I’m sure many would love to speak to a paladin of the Order of the Rose.”

“We have business here, but I might be able to make time to stop by,” she equivocates.

“Very well. I will let you all get back to whatever it is you’re doing with that leg,” Sorbus says, turning neatly on his heel and taking his leave, his toadies hurrying in his wake.

(Yes, you guessed it: That was Professor Rowan, with his Tort Wig and his assistants Pip Loupe and Chime Charles.)

“Those guys give me the creeps,” Emily grumbles. “They used to be fine, but lately they’ve been doing this whole inquisitor act.”

Vigdor’s always known these guys as douchey blowhards. But now they’re douchey blowhards with AUTHORITY.

There’s always been a divide between Ethics and the other three colleges roughly the size of the harbor! The sciences don’t believe in debate, they believe in experimentation! Anyone who can spend an entire week talking without action is wasting time and breath. The College of Medicine thinks even less of them – they just get in the way of progress!

(IRL we all respect medical ethics, but Sturmhearst WAS founded on a fine tradition of graverobbing and leeches.)

Vigdor is primarily a surgeon, or he was, when he had two fully functional hands. (Two players at once: “HE GOT DR STRANGED!”) He had quite a few classes with Macker, the chair of the surgery department. Most people didn’t like the guy, except his surgical grad students who would defend him to the death. A bit of a hardass about proper procedure, but that’s probably not a bad quality for a surgeon. He was a local institution, so it’s pretty alarming he’s somehow gone rogue.

“His whole lab was quarantined?”

“The whole teaching wing, actually,” Emily tells us.

“Are there people in there? Some kind of sickness?”

“Not that I’ve heard. Ethics just put guards outside the labs and blocked everyone from going in. They’ve done it to a couple places around the school recently. The excuse is that someone was doing ‘unsafe experimentation’ that’s ‘poisoned the area’ or something?”

Wack. “How long have these quarantines lasted?”

“They don’t really end? A couple stopped after a few months, but some have been there for a year! Nobody goes in or out. Sometimes the white coats go in, but it’s pretty rare and they don’t stay long.”

“Is that what all the guards are for? Where’d they all come from?” Vigdor asks.

“Medicine used to be the ones, uh, hiring them.” (A quick insight roll notes that she hesitates on the phrase “hiring.”) “Lots of them still answer to whoever they were originally assigned to. But recently Dean Chidor from the College of Ethics took over that whole program, so a lot of the newer ones answer primarily to the ethicists. I mean, they all dress the same, so it’s kinda hard to tell? I haven’t asked a lot of questions, I’ve been trying to keep my head down since the whole thing with Macker.”

“What actually happened with him?”

“He’d been acting weird for a while,” she confides as she starts sticking pins in the leg and wiring them to a voltage generator. “He’d been working on something, some kind of extreme surgery – I think he was looking into a method of surgically removing Curse corruption. He was hitting roadblocks, though; he called in me and Alma Ulmus, who’s a College of Medicine bigwig.”

“Yeah, we met her in Bad Herzfeld!”

“I heard she’s here again, stalking around the halls complaining about funding. She knows more about his project than I do. Anyway, Macker sent me requirements for a healing potion he was gonna administer as part of some surgical procedure. I couldn’t get anything as powerful or precise as he needed. I’m a thaumochemist; I don’t know medicine that well. So it was beyond me to do that amount of gross tissue damage repair as controllably as they wanted it. I mean, I made some pretty nice innovations as far as the theory of potioncrafting, I’m hoping to get published as soon as it goes to peer review.

“But I couldn’t do what he needed, and eventually I got shut out of the project. Then one day he vanished. Alma set off for Bad Herzfeld and Macker stopped coming out of his lab. His assistants were still going in and out, but not long after that, the ethicists quarantined the place.”

“Has anyone else been quarantined?” Valeria asks.

“People from all three colleges got hit. I dunno about other ethicists, I haven’t heard about them quarantining anything of their own. But everyone else has. A group of engineering students were building a defense system to be deployed out to the Scar, and all of them got quarantined. Here in my department, Dr. Vilman – remember him? Stupid goatee, did a lot of stuff with crystals? – got shut down. Sometimes they quarantine the whole lab; sometimes they just shut down a project and everyone working on it gets a ‘guest lecture position’ over in Ethics. Sorbus said they got one of Macker’s assistants, Eric Pelbort. He had another one, Greta Ruble, but I guess she’s given them the slip.”

Emily’s got experiments to do on that leg, so we’ll let her get to it. As we head out, Gral asks one last question. “What’s up with those guards, by the way? Why do they only respond to those whistles?

“Uhhhh,” she says, as we fail our persuasion check. “They, er, don’t speak very good Valdian. Mostly foreigners, goliaths, the like. The whistles get their attention.”

Gral sighs and doesn’t push it. Vigdor’s already making plans to pickpocket a whistle. Valeria, since she has a direct invite to talk to the ethicists, considers the unheard-of paladin approach of Just Asking Them Directly.

First, though, Vigdor wants to check out the quarantine of Macker’s lab; he knew that professor well, and we’re all curious what’s been going down.

We walk on over to the surgical wing to case the joint. There’s a single owl guard blocking the hallway, presiding over a small barricade. A pleasant sandwich board sign states “Area quarantined by College of Ethics, apologies for the inconvenience.”

We try to walk in and the enormous guard holds out a hand to stop us. Shoshana tries to wiggle around him, like a cat trying to get at your dinner, but he impassively blocks her every move.

Gral tries a smoother approach. He begins with small talk; the guard doesn’t even twitch. He starts asking prying questions about the surgical ward. No response. Fine, then: he switches to Orcish, a sinister undertone weaving through his voice as he uses Words of Terror.

An insight roll reveals completely unchanged body language.

“Either they’re immune to fear or not a humanoid,” Gral reports back. “Not a single emotion. Definitely not goliath mercenaries.”

“Tryin’ to talk your way into the surgical wing?” says another chatty passerby. “Good luck. They got all the medical cadavers locked up in there and they won’t let us in.”

(Cadavers? Oh shit, we bet that’s the guard factory, theorize the players.)

“Oh, are you a med student?”

“Yeah. I work with Professor Herberts, or I used to, anyway. We needed a couple cadavers to do this comparison study about spleens; we got some weird ones from out in the wood, we compare spleens to see if place with thing don’t worry about it; need control spleen. And then these BIG DUMB IDIOTS wouldn’t let us in, and Herbert got transferred to the College of Ethics all of a sudden. He’s been gone a couple months.”

“How long do professors usually transfer for?” asks Gral.

“I mean, they usually pop over to give a lecture or two and come back by the end of the day.”

(Vigdor happens to remember that the College of Ethics also runs an asylum. They live in a big spooky castle and do dissections with guts and stuff, it can do a number on your head! Some of the ethicists have branched into the field of psychology. No reason to mention this when people are having extended stays on the ethics campus, of course…)

The student shrugs. “I gotta get to lecture. If you manage to get in there, any chance you can bring me back a couple spleens?”

We wave goodbye noncommittally, though Vigdor insists he can pop a spleen out of a corpse like a yolk from an egg. He’s a good surgeon!

Anyway, Vigdor went to school here, and the dice are on his side; he knows a side path through an old abandoned classroom into the surgical suite. He pops the lock on the door easily; all the undergrads used to go this way when slipping into lecture late, to get past the TA keeping track of tardies.

The guard is in earshot but facing the other direction, and he’s not even blinking, much less scanning around. Gral casts Silence on us and our very clanky party slips by easily.

Shosh sticks her head into the TA’s office. Nothing really stands out, but she swipes some interesting-looking notes from the desk drawers to look at later.

Meanwhile, Gral and Vigdor go into Macker’s office. The desk is an absolute mess, which is very unlike the guy Vigdor used to know. There are wheeled chalkboards crammed into the office, covered in scribbles and anatomical diagrams. Paging through the notes and glancing over the chalkboard, Vigdor makes a decent medicine check and can at least figure out what problem Macker was working on.

Based on what Dr. Emily told us, Macker’s trying to develop a surgical procedure. The issue is that whatever he’s doing would cause so much physical trauma that it’d kill the patient, and he’s looking for some way to prevent that. There are lists of healing options: formulas, spells, potions, nonmagical stabilization methods to keep the patient alive while various tissues are extracted from the body.

Gral’s unimpressed. Healing methods? That’s pretty tame for forbidden knowledge.

To Vigdor’s experienced eyes, this stuff looks mega-advanced and highly experimental, but Gral’s right – it’s not anything you’d scramble to censor.

Weirdly enough, the place doesn’t look ransacked, only disheveled and a little dusty. Macker’s notes haven’t been moved since he was here. Maybe this isn’t what the ethicists were after?

We head to cadaver storage while Valeria keeps watch. Cadaver storage is creepy as hell, but only because it’s, y’know, a room full of cadavers. A lot of the bodies, kept stable with Gentle Repose, appear to be Cursed, but that’s hardly weird. What’s so crazy they’d keep it hidden from everyone?

Vigdor opens the door to the dissection labs, Gral’s Silence deadening any ominous warning he might have had from the room beyond. Yes, the table here’s been recently used, and the bizarre symbols scrawled on the chalkboards have spilled onto the surrounding floor and walls, but Vigdor’s eyes are drawn to where the chalkboard peels away like skin to reveal a strange, multicolored, impossible space. The floor begins to take the shape of a stone hand that projects out into the shimmering void, joining a daisy-chain of enormous hands that form a walkway out to a marble platform floating in space.

Gral takes his Silence spell with him and runs to get Valeria.

Eyes starry, watching entire worlds and impossible shapes spinning through iridescent mists, Vigdor takes his first heady hit of Key taint.

As we cut session, Valeria considers that the ethicists may actually have a point.

#the cursewood #Session recap #sturmhearst university #gral omokk'duu #valeria argent #vigdor gavril #shoshana bat chaya #The key

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in-class-daydreams · 4 years

Text

Parlay (Kuroo x Reader) | Ch. 3

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (ft. Roommate Kenma)

Word Count: ~2400

Genres: Fluff, angst if you squint, general buffoonery

CW: Some swearing, but otherwise none!

Summary: (Y/N), a first-year student attending Tokyo U, is living with her best friend, Kozume Kenma. Little did she know, her life would be turned upside down after being exposed to Kenma’s volleyball teammate and close friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. One wrong move, and the parlay’s stakes only get higher each time.

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

Honestly, Kuroo dreaded 2:00 pm every Tuesday and Thursday. His lecture was two and a half hours long, and it was in one of the school’s bigger lecture halls, meaning he spent two days a week sitting at an itty bitty desk in an overcrowded lecture hall. It was always hot and muggy, and there’s always that one guy that you can smell three rows back. It honestly can’t be that hard to take a shower once a while, right? Personal hygiene. What a concept!

‘Before making assumptions about a person who smells - like thinking they don’t shower - consider their living situation and the fact that not everyone has access to--’ A memory from a conversation with Bokuto flashed through his mind. He begged the Bokuto that lived inside his head to please shut his piehole.

In retrospect, he really should have taken an easier class, but no. His academic advisor had strongly advised against taking an easier class to fulfill this requirement because it wouldn’t ‘enrich his academic talents.’ He could just hear his teammate’s irritating tone.

“Don’t worry, Tetsu-Chan! It’ll be a good challenge for you!”

‘Good challenge’ his ass. He really had to stop trusting other people’s judgement.

Despite his admitted hatred for his 2:00 lecture, at least he and Bokuto got to chat beforehand. The frat boy had a class at the same time: Women and Politics in Continental America. According to him, so long as you did your work and ‘are at least a somewhat decent person,’ the class was relatively easy to get a quality grade in. So while Kuroo was dreading the next two and a half hours of his life he’ll never get back, Bokuto could talk Kuroo’s ear off about his “Owlets” without a care in the world, that bastard.

“Bruh, they’re so cute! We played freeze tag for warm ups today ‘cuz they’ve been good all week and, man, little kids are hella fast!” Kuroo cracked a smile at that. Bokuto loved both volleyball and kids, so when he started working as a youth instructor at the sports center, the guy was living his best life. About halfway through hearing a story about the Owlets dogpiling on Bokuto, Kuroo heard a group of girls giggling a little further down the hallway.

There he saw Kenma’s cute girlfriend making an exaggerated sad face. Her surrounding girlfriends were half laughing and half consoling her. They patted her back and he could vaguely hear ‘next time, next time!’ and ‘--boba right after?’

As they got closer, he heard one of the girls chime in, “Hold on, we can’t go right after. That guest speaker for Native American Lit. is speaking in Ballroom One at six.”

“Oh yeah... After that, then?” another girl offered.

(Y/N) shook her head, “I promised I’d pick up a shift at Chisai at 5:30,” she told them apologetically. Her friends collectively booed as Kuroo pushed off the wall he was leaning against.

“I’ll see you at practice, man.” Bokuto paused his story. They gave each other a bro-nod in farewell.

“Okay, ttyl.”

Kuroo halted in his tracks, “...did you just say ttyl out loud?”

“It’s easier that way. My kids like it!”

“They’re nine, Kou, they like everything you do.”

“Nine is a very enriched age and it’s important that we don’t undermine the abilities of--”

“Whoops, gotta go!” Kuroo speed walked in the direction of the group of girls. Bokuto went out of his way to stay “woke” - his words, not Kuroo’s - and it made him a great guy, but Kuroo could only handle so much social consciousness. (Y/N) noticed him before he reached them.

“Oh, Kuroo-san! You have a class in this building?” For someone he’d met only once before, she looked happier to see him than a lot of people normally would. Did she look at everyone like that?

He gave each of the girls a charming smile. Several of them looked from (Y/N) to him, wide-eyed. In all objective terms, Kuroo knew the effect he had on people. He was used to people of all genders’ gazes lingering on him. After all, he was the whole package: tall, handsome, charming, and it was obvious he drank Respect Women Juice every day.

“Unfortunately, yes,” he nodded his head towards his lecture room, “Not my favorite class this semester.”

“Well, I’m in this class, too. If we sat together, would it be less agonizing?” she asked. Before he could answer, she turned to her friends, “I’ll see you probably tomorrow.” They said their goodbyes, and a few of them flirtily waved Kuroo goodbye. In return, he gave them a sly wink, “Ladies.”

“If you have other friends in this class, though, I won’t be offended at all if you sit with them,” his attention snapped to her. He held the classroom door open and gestured her in. She unthinkingly led them to the same side of the room as the one Kuroo usually sat, a few rows ahead of his normal seat.

“Actually,” he said, “All my friends were smart enough to take other classes,” he laughed. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to sit next to a such a cute girl?” he gave her a cute wink.

‘What a flirt,’ she thought.

“Is that your signature move?” she teased.

Kuroo put a hand to his chest in mock offense, “Move? A gentleman doesn’t use ‘moves.’”

“Are you a gentleman, then, Kuroo-san?”

“If you wanted me to be.”

“Cheesy.”

“Don’t worry. I get worse over time.”

(Y/N) mentally cheered. If Kuroo was flirting with her this blatantly, surely he must have a feeling that she and Kenma weren’t serious. Then, Kenma would have to admit that she wasn’t oblivious and she’d win the bet!

Kuroo’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. “But don’t think I’m trying to steal you from Kenma. Bro-code is sacred text, you know.”

Oh. Well. That’s okay! He might not figure it out right away, but surely when he sees that Kenma doesn’t care one bit that he was flirting with his ‘girlfriend,’ he’d figure it out eventually! ...right?

“Don’t worry.” She replied, “He couldn’t care less.”

The professor walked in about 2 minutes before the class officially began. The man in about his mid-40’s cracked his RhedBhull energy drink and chugged the whole thing in one go. Crushing the can in his fist, he tossed it into a nearby trashcan and started plugging the projector cable into his laptop. In a way, Kuroo was glad even the professor was having as much of a hard time with this class as much as he was.

While he’d been watching the professor prepare himself, he hadn’t noticed the girl next to him pull out a notebook, two mechanical pencils, a big eraser, a set of highlighters, some gel pens, and some sticky tabs. At first he thought she was the type to make pretty notes and not actually learn anything, but as the class dragged on, whenever he glanced at her notes, he noticed that her diagrams were frighteningly detailed and every bit of information had its place. He didn’t want to be that guy by constantly looking at her notes, but even the comments in the little text bubble she drew made more sense than anything on the lecture slides.

Leaning in towards her, the taller male whispered, “I’m sure you don’t need the help, but do you want to study together sometime?” No answer.

“Kenma can come too, if you’re worried about him getting the wrong idea.” Nothing. Was she ignoring him? Had he somehow managed to offend her? He was nearly offended until he realized that nothing was affecting her at all. Not when someone sneezed or when the glass side door slammed loudly and nearly everyone jumped out of her skin. Save for her hand working like a machine, she hardly moved. Just her hand and her eyes flitting up, down, up, down, up, down from the projector to her notes. A tornado could rip through campus and Kuroo wasn’t entirely confident that she’d move.

‘Cute.’ Kuroo shook his head at his own thoughts. Sure, she was cute, but she was as off-limits as possible.

‘Though,’ he reasoned, ‘Being friends isn’t a crime.’

Lost in thought, the end of the lecture came sooner than anticipated. Twisting in his seat, his spine made a loud crack. Ah, the ripe old age of 21. In his defense, the chairs in the lecture hall weren’t exactly ergonomic.

“I doubt that’s a healthy noise for your spine to make.” She peered at him over her bag as she gently organized all her pens into a baby pink pencil case with little green aliens on it.

‘Cute,’ he thought.

“Thanks! It was a gift,” she chirped. He blinked.

“Huh?”

“The pencil case? I got it as a gift.”

It took Kuroo a moment to register what in the world she was talking about. When the realization dawned on him he mentally kicked himself.

‘I said that out loud???’

They headed outside where the sun had nearly set. She asked him what his plans were later on, and he mentioned his volleyball scholarship.

“Wow! It’s super competitive just to get on the team here. Congratulations!” He chuckled at her enthusiasm and thanked her for being so encouraging.

“So…” she trailed off for a moment, “You’re Tooru’s teammate, then?”

Kuroo gave an ugly, barking laugh.

“Yeah. Not sure if that’s good or bad. He’s the best setter I’ve ever met, but he’s also super cheery and will smile while he roasts you within an inch of your life.”

They both chuckled. (Y/N) looked at the ground shyly and said in a small voice, “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

“You know each other?” it suddenly occurred to that she and Oikawa were on a first-name basis. “You a fangirl of his?” he teased.

She squeaked. Waving her hands in front of her frantically, she said, “No, no, no! I just-- We just-- We both went to Seijoh, that’s all.” Kuroo was mildly offended that she thought he’d believe such a poorly delivered lie, but he decided to let it go. For now. Changing the subject, he said,

“So, where are you headed? Practice to watch your boyfriend?” She tensed, then quickly relaxed.

“I’ve never been to a practice since I always seem to have a shift at the same time. I have work at 5:30 today, actually.”

“You’re walking around when it’s this dark?”

“It’s only about a 20 minute walk from here. Don’t worry, I have pepper spray.”

“Mildly comforting, but not much. If you don’t mind, I could walk you there?”

His gesture was rewarded by an adorable eye smile, “Oh, that’s so kind of you. Okay, if it’s not too much trouble.”

On the walk there, she told him all about Chisai Tea House and about Grandmother, the sweet old woman who owned it.

“I worry, though. Gran is getting old. She’s not in a condition to work all day like she does.”

Kuroo looked up at the darkening sky, “When people love something, it’s hard to pull them away.”

“Mm, don’t I know it?”

Kuroo asked what kinds of things Chisai served. Besides dim sum, of course.

“What people order just depends on what they want at the time. There’s no ‘good’ thing to get because everything’s amazing! We make traditional green teas, Korean songpyeon, khao neeo mamuang, and don’t even get me started on the har gao and sumai, and all the dim sum stuff. All of our recipes have been passed down through families for generations.”

Around 5:20, she stopped at a door along the line of shops. The place was bustling with customers, and the air around it smelled of sweet treats and green teas. The whole place had a traditional Chinese feel. Through the windows, the busy place looked busy, but peaceful. On the tables nearest the window, he saw moon cakes and songpyeon that made his mouth water.

“Thank you for walking me to work! If you have some free time, would you like to come in for something to eat? My treat?” she offered.

“I wish I could, (Y/N)-san, but I have practice--!” Kuroo choked on the word. Practice! How could he forget? He’d been going to volleyball practice on weekdays since he started high school!

“Is there something wrong?” the shorter girl asked, concerned. He shook his head.

“Not at all. Thanks for keeping me company,” he winked. He didn’t want her to feel like him being late was her fault, so he waited until she was fully inside the tea shop before he turned tail and hauled ass. The gym was about a 10 minute walk, so there was a chance he could make it.

After some hardcore sprinting, the boy almost cried tears of relief when the building finally came into view. He flung himself through the locker room door. Inside, he saw all his teammates finishing up getting dressed, putting on knee pads, tying shoelaces, the like. Every head turned his way.

“Bro! What’s-- Hey! Why are you all sweaty?” Bokuto shouted from the far end of the locker room. Kuroo meant to respond, but he found himself completely out of breath. Volleyball players might not be cut out for long distance sprinting. At least, he definitely wasn’t.

“Overslept?” Iwaizumi clapped his teammate on the back as he brushed past him through the doorway.

“You know coach doesn’t like it when people are late to practice. Better hurry up, Tetsu-chan!” Oikawa said in a tone all too gleeful to be genuine. Forcing his legs to move, Kuroo stumbled as he yanked his shirt off and ran to his locker while simultaneously trying to shimmy his pants off. Bokuto came up beside him during his frantic clambering to get ready.

“What happened, man? You don’t usually get here this late?”

Kuroo glanced over his shoulder at his friend’s worried expression.

“I’m good, bro, I just...” he panted, “I just lost track of time.”

“M’kay, if you’re sure everything’s Gucci?”

“Yeah, man, I’m good.” The wing spiker nodded and headed out the door. Alone at last, Kuroo stuffed his feet into his shoes and rested his head against his locker for a moment. Next time, he’d stop creeping on Kenma’s girlfriend and focus on making it to practice on time. This wouldn’t happen again.

(A/N): At last! We have tapped into the interactions between Kuroo and (Y/N)! And yes, the Bro-Code is very important! (Well, I'm female, but I’m fully aware of how it works lol). Please continue to give/leave your feedback and thoughts on the story! Be sure to check out the Tumblr/Wattpad for more updates! Thanks and see y’all soon!

- Admin Kiwi-Chan

(A/N): Yeeeaaaaaa boiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

- Admin Mango-Chan

Taglist: @joyful-jimin

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou #bokuto kotarou #kozume kenma #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tōru #oikawa tooru #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyu

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sociallyawkward--fics · 4 years

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I Can't I Literally Cannot. It's a recording of a stream and this girl is saying she's dating the friend of the two people streaming and she's also Highkey flirting with them. And like the one recording is freaking out because he doesn't know what the heck is going on and the other guy is like talking about proper relationship etiquette but his views are freaking wild like "you can't talk to other people unless you've had a conversation about that being allowed" and I just. I CANNOT BELIEVE. ~S

And the guy talking about etiquette is also like calling the guy recording out because he's worried he'll try to steal their friend's girl and I Can't. This guy went to get food and when he came back he was like "oh I shouldn't have done that bc having a convo alone with a guy is Bad if your in a relationship" I like these people oh my god. What the actual hell. The guy recording is like fine. But the girl is kinda sketchy and my guy about etiquette is freaking wild. Oh My God. I CAN'T. ~S

To be fair this guy was probably like hella sleep deprived considering it was like 7am when they were recording and neither of the guys had slept before. Still I just. oh my god. The girl literally distracted him by starting to sing and he just took it and ran. I'm Dying Okay. I Need A Conclusion. ~S

He's so easily distracted, oh my goodness. Like I been knew but like this girl was lying the whole time. Their friend came one and was like, yeah that's not my girlfriend. I just. This was so freaking stupid. Why. Why would you like about this stuff. Oh my goodness. I cannot believe I stayed up until 3am to watch this what the heck. That Was So Stupid Oh My God. It is 3:04am I just. Aaaaaaaaaa. This is fine it's fine. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Aight, imma head out. ~S

Also technically it is already tomorrow. ~S

That was super cute!! I know you're not a huge fan of it, but I like it!!!!! It was written well!!!!! ~S

This bitch watches Minecraft challenge videos, and like,,,,,, they be uploading one at like 2am and the second at like 2:40am so then I gotta stay up and watch them. And like one of them is like cool yeah, whatever, and the other is so freaking stressful. It was freaking 46mins and I really wanted my guy to win and there were so many time he almost died. And he was doing so good and then at the very end he was killed. ~S

This is literally so stupid but like my heart was going and I'm literally shaking. Oh my God. Anyway this is why I'm awake at 3:30am for the third night in a row. It was like 2am ish and I was gonna sleep, then there was an upload. I watched it, it was good. So I chill for a bit bc immediately finishing a vid and then sleeping is unrealistic. The my other guy uploads and it's 46mins, okay I can deal. And then It's That. And now I'm so freaking hyper and I Cannot. Oh my god. ~S

Is this gonna become a thing? Me freaking out about Minecraft YouTubers to you at like 3am??? oh my god though. Anyway, as you know, I love you with my entire heart!!!!! I would ask people questions for you if you were too stressed to do so even if I was as well because I love you!!!!!! I would listen intently to whatever you were excited about even if I wasn't super interested because I love you!!!! I would do so many things!!!! You're so Good!!!!!! I Love You So Much!!!!!!!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

Why am I still awake at 4am? It's because I needed time to calm the heck down. It feels kinda stupid that I'm Adrenaline over a video game that I wasn't even playing. But I guess here we are. :/ It's fine imma probably sleep now. I hope you're doing well 😘 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 ~S

So, I graduated today. And it was nice!! It wasn't quite what it would have been, world allowing, but it was good. I'm kinda glad I didn't have to sit through everyone, and I got two subject awards, one in math and one in calculus!! I'm also pretty happy I didn't have to do exams this year. Funny that it's my grade twelve year, and next year I'll be going off to university. I hope you're well!! ~S

Hm, that (your first week (four days?) of classes) sounds incredibly disorganized and Not Good. I hope it gets better soon!! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!! ~S

--------------------------------

Bruh I didn’t realize I was hoarding so many asks I am so sorry lol

Those people sound Absolutely Wild. And while I agree, yes, a relationship needs communication, that guy talking about relationship etiquette sounds crazy and I would not want to be dating him lol. Also, why would you lie about dating someone I do Not understand. Are these Straight People? Lol

Thank you, I’m glad you liked it!!

Bruh you gotta get a better sleep schedule, I worry lol. Also, yeah, the adrenaline can weirdly kick in when watching other people play video games, I 100% get it lol. Feel free to continue ranting to me about Minecraft YouTubers, if you want!! Also,,, those things you say,,,, you are so sweet those things are the true meaning of love, I would also do those things for you ❤️🧡💛💚💙❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Congratulations on graduating!! I’m sorry it wasn’t the experience you had been expecting, but I’m glad it was still good, and I’m so proud of you!! Also, yeah, reading out all the names is,,,,,, Big Oof lol. My graduating class was about 800 people and having to sit through all that, AND having a last name that puts me towards the end was like,,,,, Gross lol. Also, grad gowns are not breathable and we were outside in Arizona. I am glad that was Not your experience because it’s Rough lol. I know you’re gonna do great in university!!

Yeah it was,, Not Great, but hopefully things look up lol. Fingers crossed lol.

#ask #anon #S anon

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glassballdinosaurs · 3 years

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Nnnngh

#got 14 hours of sleep last night after being exhausted the entire day (almost fell asleep while eating exhausted)#technically 13 hours and approximately 30 minutes #and I’m STILL tired #finals burnout? side effect of coming off a medication? just generally stressed out? coming down with something??#like bruh it’s been 2 weeks of this what the actual he’ll #*hell #whyyyyyyyyy #I’m so tired make it stop #am I not eating enough greens or something? my iron levels should be fine tho #personal #seriously I don’t understand how I’m/this/ tired #like yeah summer term starts Monday and I have a dog sitting job kinda??#but that’s not nearly enough

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ofwolvesandbutterflies · 6 years

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Headlines

Stray Kid’s Changbin x Reader ft. Minho

Actor!AU

Genre: fluff... i think

A/N: happy birthday to @changbeanie! this is late, i’m soo sorry, but please accept this in place of changbin or an amazon gift card. T^T also like if changbin was an actor... bruh there’s a movie i’d watch over and over and over again. also, this will be a 2 part story

“No. Absolutely not. I refuse,” I spoke through clenched teeth, the chair I had been perched elegantly on a few seconds ago now lying on its side a few feet away. Seo Changbin peered darkly at me through his long eyelashes. I could’ve sworn the temperature in his hotel room dropped as we stared icily at each other. A cool hand clamped down on my shoulder and I spun around to see my manager watching me sternly.

“Look, __,” Minho, my manager spoke, tone even and guarded. “You need more exposure. You and Changbin have known each other for a couple years now, and after some discussion with the higher ups, both he and they have agreed to let him go public with you.”

“Go public?!” I nearly screeched. “Minho, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but just because we are signed under the same agency, does not at all mean that I know or have anything akin to a crush on him.”

The dark, brooding male sitting across from me parted his lips to say something, but Minho grabbed my shoulders and pressed me down into another chair before Changbin could say anything. My manager looked me dead in the eye.

“__. As much as I’d love for you to continue doing just mediocre, I can’t. Now the boss said he’ll give you guys sixty days -that’s six-zero- for something to happen. If things don’t go the way we’d like, then after that sixty days it over, you two can break it off like nothing ever happened. In the case that things go well, we may prolong the amount of set days. Now what’s been agreed on has already been agreed on and we can’t do anything about it anymore. Now please, for both my paycheck and yours, __, just cooperate this once.”

Enraged, I glared right back at him until he rolled his eyes and turned towards Changbin, fingers pressed into his temples in an attempt to ward off the headache I had given him.

“I’ll leave you two to sort things out, then,” Minho spoke, grabbing his keys from off the table. He turned towards the door, pushing his sunglasses back into place. “Changbin, thank you so very much for being so wonderfully compliant, and __…” Spinning around one last time, he directed a patronizing finger towards me.

“I’ll be in the parking lot waiting. I know you can do this.”

The smack of the front door slamming closed once more resounded in the eerie silence hanging between us. Minho wasn’t usually this irritatingly stiff. And truth be told, I didn’t usually make his life so hard by being so stubborn. As a budding actress, it’s part of my job to be flexible and compliant… however none of my education and training had included how to react upon realizing my manager had been mingling with the higher ups to arrange a relationship for me with and an extremely well-known coworker that I didn’t exactly like.

A weighted stare alerted me to the quiet male I was currently stuck in the room with. Sighing, I reluctantly brought my gaze to my fellow actor. Changbin met my eyes quietly with an unreadable expression.

“I’ve heard some things about you, __…” Changbin started, his obnoxiously lax demeanor very off-putting.

“Is that right?” I shot back, still quite vexed. “What types of things?”

“Just things like although your movies haven’t done as well, you’re actually a very talented actress.”

His softly spoken words brought me back for a moment. Did Seo Changbin -the Seo Changbin- really just compliment me? An uncommon crimson shade rose to my cheeks. In all the years I’d come in contact with him, he never striked me as the type of guy to just dish out compliments, especially ones he didn’t mean. Before I could say anything though, he went on.

“Then again, the agency had to resort to me, which only happens if they’re desperate. It’ll be interesting to see how good you actually are with this.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I bristled back, scowl once again present on my face.

“It’s up to interpretation. However…” He stood, walking towards me like a panther would toward its prey. Halting just a couple inches shy of my crossed legs, Changbin bent down so that his cool gaze was level with mine. “Though you may not like me, great actors can make anything look real.”

“How did it go, __?” Minho asked softly. Thankfully, we both had gotten enough time to cool off and he wasn’t about to bite my head off any time soon. The beautiful night sky appeared blurred and distorted through the tinted passenger window. Leaning my head against the cool window, I heaved out a sigh.

“It could have gone worse. We’ve agreed to a time to meet up to plan out the first four weeks, but other than him indirectly dissing me… I think we made a good amount of progress.”

The rather empty hybrid car hummed as a somewhat uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Finally, at a red stop light nearly three minutes later, my manager turned to me, an empathetic smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. Although it definitely should have occured to me- it didn’t occur to me how upset you were going to be,” he spoke, the smallest hint of shame shaking in his voice. A greenish glow bathed the two of us in a ghastly ambiance as the car purred to life again. Pulling my knees to my chest, I shrugged.

“You were just looking out for me. I should have been more understanding.”

I knew how much effort Minho put into things appearing good, even before he was assigned to me. After all, he was my older brother’s best friend from primary school and I’d seen the projects he’d created with him over the years.

“Yeah…” Minho chuckled, pulling into a familiar neighborhood. “-but then again, making an effort to be more understanding has never been your strong suit.”

And the sound of our carefree laughter was all it took to break the serious mood we’d created.

“This… is your apartment?” Changbin asked, dark eyes carefully scrutinizing every inch of my living quarters. An angry flush colored my cheeks. Initially, I was planning on starting over and making an effort to be friendly this time, but his unwarranted commentary was pushing my patience. My apartment was tidy, my succulents had been watered, my dishes all washed, dried and put away, heck, even my bed was made. Nevertheless, the resting-bitch look on his face made it look like I hadn’t cleaned the place in years. What could I say? I couldn’t afford a maid. I hadn’t become world famous like he had. The arrogant bitch.

“Yes, this is what I get from the mediocre movies I act in. Get used to it, you’ll have to see it at least a couple more times in the next sixty days,” I muttered, plopping myself on the couch and opening my computer.

“Hey, I never said I didn’t like it,” he spoke, holding his hands up in defense, shocking me against with his honesty. “It’s just… smaller than I pictured it being.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I don’t make as much as you do,” I rolled my eyes and patted the spot next to me. He hesitantly sat on the couch, studying every inch of me as I took a deep breath. It’s only sixty days, __. You can do this.

Beside the fact I was stuck with a man I was supposed to be an item with but didn’t know anything about... It was a lovely afternoon really. There were only a few clouds dotting the familiar Seoul skyline and my open windows let in a cool, calm breeze. A few rays from the lazy afternoon sun pushed through my blinds, casting strange shadows on the walls. I hadn’t gone out at all today aside for an early morning run, so my outfit still only consisted of exercise pants and one of my over sized sweatshirts.

Changbin on the other hand was adorned in a black fitted tee and a pair of dark, ripped jeans. I’d only seen him once or twice before around the agency and both times were very briefly, but now that he was up close and the only person in the room with me, I realized just how attractive he was. His eyes were a deep brown, partially hidden behind his messy bangs. His arms rippled with a subtle strength I hadn’t noticed before. And his lips, lord, the curve his plush lips-

“So __,” Changbin cleared his throat, drawing my attention away from his lips. The angry flush on my cheeks turned into an embarrassed blush as I tore my eyes away from his face. “When would you like to go public? And how are we going to go public? What’s our ‘back story’ going to be?”

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear sheepishly, I shrugged.

“Sometime in the next couple days would be ideal, next week by the latest,” I spoke, adding another date the outline. He nodded, finally looking away from me. “As for how... I was thinking something along the lines of -hmm..- going out for a small date? Maybe coffee or lunch or something. Somewhere that would bring a lot of attention to us.”

Changbin nodded his understanding and typed something on his computer. I began observing him, trying in vain to figure out this puzzle that was supposed to be my boyfriend. Actors and actresses were definitely one of the hardest people to read. Bit by bit, I picked out the things he began to do subconsciously. The narrow of his eyes as he focused on the screen. The indistinct bite of his lips as he reread what we had so far.

“Somewhere… like a mall or something?”

“Yeah!” I spoke abruptly, trying to mask the fact I had been staring at him. “And as for our back story…”

“-I’d run into him all the time while at the company. Everything about him intrigued me, his looks, his personality… Everything from the blatantly obvious things to the small tidbits about his back story and what he does in his spare time… Over time, it grew into something more than admiration. I was just lucky when he began to notice me as well,” I said, pretending to hide a blush behind my hand.

“Okay, the fact that I almost believed that is shameful.” Minho scrunched his nose up, pretending to throw up. Wiping the cutesy blush off my face, I grabbed the pillow Changbin’s feet were perched on and threw it at my manager.

“Shut up, Minho, I just needed to know if it’s it’s alright.”

“Well…” Sighing, Minho looked at Changbin before shrugging. “I’m not a professional actor, my opinion may not be as relevant because I’m only your manager. Changbin, what do you think?”

The attractive male beside me cocked his head.

“In my experience, the media will always eat up whatever you throw at them, no matter if it’s trash-” I lifted my hand to smack him, but he grabbed merely grabbed it and shot me an exasperated glare. “-but it’ll work well enough.”

Glancing between us, Minho stood and clapped Changbin’s shoulder.

“Alright, you two sound like you know what you’re doing. I do think it’ll look more natural if you two are touching somehow, like holding hands or linking arms, but whatever you two believe will work most effectively should do just fine. __, you’re going to do fine, chill. Changbin, I’ll see you later.”

“Hey Changbin,” I mumbled through the phone, pacing back and forth nervously in front of the front door. “How far are you away right now?”

The day had finally come for us to ‘go public’ and though I knew it was all fake, though we were both actors and everything about us revolved around being what others needed us to be, though I knew it was merely for my benefit, my heart continued to beat ten times faster than normal as I fiddled with my jacket zipper nervously.

“I’m about 5 minutes away, why?” The sound of his voice crackled through the phone speakers, relieving some of the stress from off my shoulders.

“Because Minho just called and told me he arranged for some paparazzi, and now I’m nervous,” I somehow managed to say while opening and closing my fists repeatedly. I knew by confiding in him this ridiculous fear, I was surely bound to be teased and ridiculed. The line was silent for a moment. What was I doing? What was I hoping to achieve by telling him this? I just told an experienced actor I was afraid of acting. Parting my lips, I rushed to excuse myself from the conversation.

“I-I.. I mean nevermind, you didn’t need to know tha-”

“Hey __,” Changbin finally spoke, gently interrupting me. “Calm down, you’re overthinking this.”

The moment his atypical words registered in my mind, I held my breath, waiting for the usual snobbish comment to come after that. However, the next thing he said sent my heartbeat spiraling out of control.

“I’ll be right there beside you.”

Sipping my mocha latte slowly, I did my best not to express the fact I was near terrified. Acting was something I normally did only in front of a camera crew and a director, never had I brought it to the real, unsuspecting world. I could almost hear the clicking of nearby hidden cameras as I clenched Changbin’s hand tighter.

Chuckling, Changbin leaned closer, breath fanning out over my neck whilst we strolled by the different shops and mini outlets.

“Relax, __. At this rate, even the paparazzi will know it’s fake.”

“Oh hush,” I giggled through my clenched teeth, bringing the smile up to my eyes and attempting to make it seem like he had just said something hilarious. “I’m not exactly the live action type.”

“You’ll get used to it,” he murmured, taking a sip of his caramel macchiato. Though I was otherwise uncomfortable with this whole situation, I had to admit, we were dressed to impress. With a lowkey couple outfit, matching vans and twin face masks, Changbin and I looked rather stunning in our apparel. And glancing over at him through my sunglasses, I was once again reminded of just how gorgeous of a person he actually was. His dark chocolate colored eyes seemed to glow gold in the morning sunlight and the tufts of hair peeking out from under his beanie framed his face in the most angelic way possible.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” My partner’s husky voice broke me out of my trance and I scowled, playfully hitting his arm.

“You wish,” I scoffed, searching his features in vain to find an excuse for my damned eyes. “There was just…” Pausing in my stride, I reached up and pretended to pluck something from his hair. “Ah! There was just -uhm- something in your hair.

Lowering my hand, the entirety of what I had just done dawned on me. I peered shyly up at the male in front of me through my lashes, trying to gauge his reaction. On Changbin’s lips sat a gentle smile, eyes directed solely on my figure. The weight of a thousand eyes fell on me and almost immediately my brain went on auto-pilot.

Time slowed when he began to lean forward, just like it would have in the cheesy dramas I acted in. My heart beat loud and clear in my chest and blood rushed wildly through my ears. I scolded myself for the buzzed feeling, after all, it was just an act, just another corny romantic scene. However, nothing could break the barrier around my rational thought and I braced myself for whatever was bound to happen.

Part of me was expecting him to lean close to my ear and whisper ‘psyche’ and the other was internally squealing. Perhaps this is why I hadn’t made it big yet, I still didn’t have any control over my emotions. See, once his lips touched my forehead, all of my mind, rational and irrational, blanked.

The gentle kiss lasted only for a fraction of a second and the second Changbin pulled away, I broke out of the trance. Still, the stupid smile stayed on my face and again he chuckled, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

“Whatever you say, beautiful.”

“Hey __! I saw the pictures. Not bad for a first run,” Minho’s voice floated through the car speakers after ten long seconds of the dreaded dialing tone.

“Hey Minho,” I spoke nervously, fisting the hem of my jacket. “Has anything come out yet?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” The unmistakable pride in his voice caused a smile to bloom out over my face. I glanced at Changbin who at the moment was grinning softly, maybe there was still hope for me. “I’ll send it to you.”

Soon after the line went dead, I received a notification on my phone. I quickly opened the link.

“Breaking Headlines,” I read aloud. “World famous Actor Seo Changbin’s Girlfriend Revealed.”

Under the bold text were the pictures from our ‘date’ and my cheeks warmed at the sight of a well-shot picture of the two of us walking hand in hand.

“There you go, Bin,” I said, unable to keep the pride from my voice. “How was that?”

“You almost had me fooled,” he snorted, reaching over to pat my head, smile still present on his lips. “Now let’s get these sixty days over with.”

Though the words caused an unexpected pang of sadness to bloom in my chest, I somehow masked it with a smile.

Part 2 -->> (x)

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caiuscassiuss · 6 years

Text

Third Time’s The Charm (Gymrat! NCT Lucas AU)

Genre: gymrat! au; fluff and humor, tiny bit of angst

WC: 2.5k.

Description: Your efforts on trying to catch the attention of the tall buff guy on the bench press weren’t working.

(A/U: this was inspired by lucas saying his hobby was working out, so i was like !!! yes!!!! Hope you enjoy, reblog and like~)

masterlist | requests | updates

_____________________________________________________________________

The guy you were eyeing was easily benching a hundred pounds, his chest heaving up and down with each pump in the air. His muscular biceps glistened with sweat and flexed, and he was so completely focused on his strenuous task that he failed to notice you staring at him.

It wasn’t like it was intentional, okay? His face was like some sort of model on a Vogue magazine, with an aristocratic nose and plump lips that were usually pursed in concentration. He was tall, taller than the bench press apparatus that he frequently hogged when he came here every Wednesday. He always came in some sort of sleeveless top and either running shorts or joggers. It was like he was made to stop traffic (or you from properly working out).

The first time you saw him, you almost fell off your treadmill. You were just minding your own business, trying to get fit for the spring break vacation you were planning with your friends, and he just starts lifting. Your eyes were drawn to every movement he made, and this continued for a few weeks.

One day, you brought your best friend to the gym and were running on the treadmill, but when she caught sight of him she almost tripped off her treadmill too. You shook her head at her in disappointment and steadied her.

“W-what?!! You have this god in here and you don’t tell me??” she sputtered, a wild look in her eyes.

“Um, I asked you several times to go with me but you wanted to watch Netflix instead,” you countered, leaning away from her increasingly panicked posture.

“Still you didn’t tell me about him!”

“You have a boyfriend though?” you asked.

“Semantics, semantics. Me in a relationship doesn’t stop me from appreciating eye candy,” she waved off.

“Okay broski.”

Throughout your workout, even you couldn’t keep your eyes off him (per usual). She side-eyed you the whole time, sending suggestive smirks at you while you ignored her and plugged in your earphones to block her out. By the end of your time, she rounded on you when you approached the car.

“So… you like him, huh?”

“STOP I don’t!” you whined.

“You totally do, don’t lie to me hoe.”

You were silent for a few a seconds, and she took this as victory. She fist pumped while you slumped your shoulders in defeat. Why were your friends like this- more importantly, why am I like this?

“Listen, y/n we’re gonna do something about this,” your best friend spoke as you drove her to her dorm room across campus.

“No, we’re fucking not.”

“Yeah, we fucking are, because you need to some spice in your life! All you do is just study and read and never want to go out with me!” your friend stared at you concernedly while you ignored her and stared determinedly out the windshield.

At last, you reached her dorm and stopped the car.

“Look, y/b/n, I get you’re trying to look out for me and I really appreciate that. But I’m satisfied with my life right now. Plus, I don’t think a guy like that is single. Someone has probably already snatched his ass up. And even he was- forget about it,” you leaned back in your seat, and looked out pensively to see the brightly lit street lamps on the street corner.

“You know what- this is not going up for discussion. You’re going my house tomorrow an hour before gym, we’re going to create a game plan, and then your going to hop on his d-”

“Oh my god OKAY!”

_____________________________________________________________________

ATTEMPT 1: Wear some sexy ass clothes.

“Bruh. Are you sure these are even public appropriate?”

You tugged at the spandex sports bra you were wearing and the figure-hugging leggings your best friend forced you in. They were in all black (“so they can lengthen your figure”) because it was sexy apparently. Well, actually, hell yeah, you looked fucking hot but couldn’t you get charged with public indecency or something?

“Honey. Sweetheart. Darling. Everything is acceptable when you go to the gym,” she drawled as she put up your hair in a ponytail.

Honestly, this was a hella new experience. You usually wore an oversized t-shirt and shorts while working out, so this was gonna have to take some time getting used to.

“I don’t get what’s the point. If I want him to date me shouldn’t I try to like talk to him?”

“That comes after. Besides, even if you don’t need to show your body to attract a man, you just need some confidence. What better way than to showcase your killer bod?!”

“Hmph. I disagree but, like, okay.”

You two got to the gym and swiped your passes to let you in. The artificial lighting was still turned on even though the natural bright sunlight from the windows would have sufficed, and it smelled like the regular tangy scent of sweat and disinfectant.

You took off your windbreaker, feeling as though you were giving a strip show, and stepped into the locker room where you put your stuff up. As you entered the room, you searched the sea of gym equipment for “hot guy” and found him doing his regular presses on the bench press. Aren’t people supposed to look ugly when they work out, not like this god who looks like he’s doing a commercial?

Your best friend who “stepped out to get some water” told you as soon as got in, to start doing some stretches. She claimed it would “get his blood pumping” (whatever the hell that meant) so you had to do it as slowly and sexily as possible. Yeah. Right. No problem for a girl who just discovered what a dildo was.

Stepping onto the mats, you moved into a position where the hot guy would be able to see you easily. You bent down and touched your toes, but immediately felt self conscious about your now exposed ass. It felt hella weird, but after seeing yourself in the mirror you decided that hey, I don’t look half bad. I look pretty hot right now, even if no one is looking. You decided to do your regular stretches after that, and you discovered the bra and stretchy leggings gave you a lot of mobility. Maybe your best friend and those thotty instagram models were onto something with this whole trend.

After completing your work out, you didn’t feel those “heated glances” upon your back like the romance novels said, or get the feeling someone was watches you. Honestly, you’d probably be one the first people to die in a horror film with how oblivious you were but that’s not the point. The point is, you were sure no one saw anything. Especially hot guy. You even discreetly glanced at him from time to time and nope, not even a glance. One time he thought he was gonna do something, but he just moved to the pec deck machine and started working out again.

You sighed and then hopped onto the treadmill to increase your stamina. Welp.

Attempt 1: Failed

_____________________________________________________________________

Attempt 2: Try to work out closer to him and hope he’ll try to strike up a conversation.

“Bitch the treadmills are like all the way across the room from the goddamn bench press!” you yelled, upset that your friend was trying to make you move away from the machine that took the least effort.

“Honey. Do you want a substandard workout or do you want a good fu—”

“Y/b/n! Why you gotta be like this?” you covered your innocent ears.

“Sorry, reality check. But still, it’s just for a little while. Plus you can go back to them whenever he’s not here!” your best friend exclaimed.

You pouted and tied up your sneakers before stepping out of the locker room. Lucas (you found out his name as he was talking to his friend a few days ago) was actually at the leg press machine this time. Still far away from your beloved treadmill. The things you were doing for him.

You found a step machine a few machines away from his leg press because you didn’t want to seem weird going on a machine too close to him. Today, you were wearing a crop top with some spandex shorts, something you usually wore as pajama wear but since this was attempt 2, you decided to step it up a bit.

As per usual, he didn’t look once your way.

And it got worse.

The next few weeks, the machines next to Lucas were always filled, by some unlucky stroke of fate. You even came at different times of day, but it turns out they were still filled or he wasn’t there.

Great times, man.

Attempt 2: Failed.

_____________________________________________________________________

Attempt 3: Actually initiate a conversation despite your crippling social anxiety.

You need to be in a casual position chat with him. It’d be hella awkward if you just went up to him while he was doing a press or something like that. Your best friend’s words came to mind as you filled up your water bottle at the water fountain. The third attempt, which had been initiated a few weeks ago, was not going to plan either. You were never in a good place to talk or you just chickened out of it last second. He was just so intimidating and looked unapproachable, even though he always laughed brightly when his friends came over. This is why you were going to end up as a crazy old cat lady who wished she could’ve struck up the courage to talk the hot swole guy at the gym 60 years ago and not ended up alone.

Rubber shoes squeaking against linoleum broke you out of your thoughts, and you glanced to see the object of your pseudo-obsession rounding the corner. Lucas strode confidently towards the vending machine on your right, his sweaty bangs hanging in his eyes while his powerful biceps flexed while he walked. Goddamn.

Your breathing noticeably sped up when he neared you and he pulled out his wallet.

This is your fucking chance, bitch!

“Um, hey.”

Laaaaaammmmmeeeeee.

You smiled at him as pressed on the water fountain bar. His head whipped towards you from the vending machine, and he, too, smiled. It was one of those smiles that he always had around his friends, and was a serious roundabout from the aloof impression you always had of him.

You plucked up your courage and then exhaled. You can do this, even with the non-existent flirting skills you have. “So—”

“Lucas!” a shout interrupted you, and both of your heads turned towards the sound of his friend shouting from the end of the hallway.

Lucas groaned and got his snack from the vending machine.

“Sorry, gotta go—”

“LUCAS!” his friend shouted insistently.

Lucas smiled a grin at you and left.

His broad back faced you while he walked out, like all your confidence and hope.

Attempt 3: Failed. Miserably.

_____________________________________________________________________

You walked dejectedly back to the entrance of the gym. You could never get this right, could you? Every single attempt failed or was thwarted by something. You tried your best, and even then the hot guy at the gym failed to notice you. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

You sighed and looked up into the stars. Boys are stupid. And so was your best friend if she thought this could work.

If every time this was gonna happen, you might as well try to get over—

“Hey!”

Your head turned to see Lucas, of all people, jogging across the pavement towards you. The lights of the gym shone from behind him, and only served to make him more handsome.

“Hey,” he panted as he got in front of you.

From this distance, you could really see the extent of how tall he was.

“Hi?” you sounded out, incredibly confused. Just about when you were about to get over him, he shows up.

He chuckled nervously, and scratched his head sheepishly. Your eyes followed the movement and you got to see his beautiful biceps again. Some sort of confused hope popped up in your chest at his appearance… maybe he was there to talk you?

“So, uh, we were talking to each other earlier and wanted to apologize for leaving abruptly. That was kinda rude, sorry.”

Oh.

“It’s alright, no problem. I get how friends can be,” you smiled at him, the confused hope dying down into immense disappointment. Well, shit happened and life wasn’t a fucking fairytale.

You smiled one last smile at him and turned away to call your best friend to pick you up, but then you froze when his voice rang out in the humid summer air.

“I also wanted to say hey to you, because I, uh, kinda wanna ask you on a date.”

What the fuck.

Your eyes widened and you focused your whole attention on him, who was fidgeting nervously with the hem of his shirt.

“I always saw you here, and thought you were, um, really pretty and nice. Like, really gorgeous. Wait. Oh shit, that’s not the only reason I like you. Uh—”

“I, erm, kinda like you,” you blushed severely, glad that it was covered up by the dark night. Cicadas chirped in the background while you two went silent.

“Really? Hell yes!” he exclaimed, and fist pumped while jumping into the air. You laughed, amused by his childness and carefree attitude.

“Yeah, I always saw you in the gym too! Actually, funny story, I’ve been trying to get your attention for a weeks now, cuz you’re really hot, heh…” Oh fiddlesticks, you weren’t supposed to say that. You ducked your head down while shuffling your feet.

“Wow, you’re really cute,” he breathed out while staring down at you.

“Did I just say that out loud? RIP me, honestly,” he caught himself, and you both laughed over his inadvertent confession.

“Damn, I didn’t realize. If I knew this earlier, I would’ve asked you on a date weeks ago, because I was trying to get your attention too.”

Huh?

“Yeah, uh, they were pretty shitty ways to get you to notice me like wearing sleeveless tops and always bench pressing, but I guess it kinda worked?”

You gaped at him in shock, trying to process this information in your tired mind. So you mean all this time you were looking like a full course meal were intENTIONAL????

“Well, if you’re not opposed to it, you wanna go on a date this weekend?”

You nodded excitedly, and you two exchanged phone numbers, both of you blushing when your hands brushed up against each other. Your best friend was gonna freak when you told her.

_____________________________________________________________________

“So… you like them guns, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up Lucas. You know you were staring at my ass when I was stretching.”

“Shit, you right.”

_____________________________________________________________________

(A/N: guns= biceps. not edited.)

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enchantecharice · 3 years

Text

These thoughts keep flooding my mind. How do I stop over thinking ? Like…. Maybe I should just type them out. And then let it go. Idk. So the situation keeps replaying in my head. This last time I got mad because of course rico called me at 1am, woke me outta my sleep, asked me to cook him pancakes and he’ll be over in 13. Why I actually get up and start straightening my whole apartment. An hour later. Nothing. 2 hours later and I’m annoyed. And on top of that I can’t fall back asleep. I text him gn and try to sleep. Why this man text me at 3 am talking about what are you doing. Mind you on the phone his sister cousin whatever was talking about going to the strip club. Platinum 84 or pts. And I knew the background in one of his pictures he previously took look familiar. That was pts. So when he text me, I was like oh na. Enjoy your night. Then I went to sleep and woke up at 6 and sent a paragraph basically saying leave me alone I’m letting you go. He called like why are you being mean, I don’t remember saying that, I wasn’t even that close to you. I’m like ok whatever. Why he talking soft and I can’t hear him, he’s gonna say you can get off the phone since you’re acting like you can’t hear me. He said I annoyed him and was answering me short. So I said well I hope you have a good day, he said you too. I said bye. Nothing. I listen a couple seconds longer. Nothing. I hang up. And there we go. Did you just hang up in my face? And insert the bitch this and bitch that. I’m rude, I’m disrespectful and I’ll never hear from him again. It’s fuck me. And you know I hope it stays that way forever. Cause you not bout to be in no strip clubs then come to me. Everytime I ask to see you, you busy doing nothing, oh I’m smoking with my brother, oh I’m taking my sister shopping. Mind you I peeped his social media. It be the lies for me. Like he was calling her his big sis and saying he was gonna catch a flight to her. Bruh he told me that’s his little sis which makes sense cause he’s 31 and he been in Colorado for a couple weeks 😑🤔 what’s wrong with him. And then everytime he asks to see me it’s in the middle of the ducking night. As if my sleep schedule wasn’t already fucked. He figured out he could wake me if he called. Smh. I don’t understand what he wants from me. I think it’s just to be an option, someone to call at 3am. Idk. But I know I’m not his type. I know he be in the strip club trying to recruit. Colorado has terrible strippers. Like why here? Are the women more weak minded here? And I know girls just don’t be giving him they money. He selling false dreams with dick on the side. That’s the only way I can see these girls falling for that shit. Mind you I fell for the idiot but he never got nothing from me. Even if I stripped, I earned that money just like I do working at my job now. I’m not giving nobody what I worked for. Ever. I just don’t get it. I don’t get why he has to lie. I don’t get why he has to recruit. Like I don’t get any of it. I don’t get how I even ended up in this mix. My life is completely different. I want something completely different. I have my own different but legal and moral things going on. I won’t sell my soul. I won’t sell my body. I won’t use people. I’m hyper independent. I don’t need a soul. Everyone can go. Honestly 🤷‍♀️ I just wanna know why but even voicing my frustration won’t get me what I’m looking for. I’m done being blind tho. I’m confident in karma and capable of just walking away. He’s not who I think he is and I want a transparent partner. He’s not capable of giving me what I want. And this is what I need to decide for myself. This connection is real on my end but to a fraudulent person. Who I thought he was isn’t real. He’s really just a blood thirsty leech. A scam artist, a liar. None of the things I can live with.

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starryseo · 6 years

Text

youtuber!jisung

time for the best sunshine boiii

han jisung

he’s such an all-rounder at such a young age??

god blessed this boi straight up

he also does parkour with changbin & felix

so sometimes he’s in their vids

but when they’re not filming themselves skateboarding

he’s the camera dude

doesn’t like using the skateboard as much as he likes trying the flips and shit normally

he’s deffo their one-man-hype squad and personal cheerleader

literally made a cheer for them

here are my boys, you can call them changlix

they’re gonna rock this place with their bombass flips

it’s really!!! cringey!!!!! but that’s why he uses it

gotta embarrass his homebois ok

lemme talk about his instagram before his youtube real quick

it’s a e s t h e t i c af

like he’ll use the best filters and get the best angles

but he doesn’t do it on purpose???

he literally snaps a pic and it comes out looking so fineee

once you actually click on a pic though

his captions are crazy

usually just gibberish

and he hashtags the most random parts of his day

they usually dont even make sense

but whatever

he’s also always on the hunt for flowercrowns

his profile pic just alternates between the different ones he has

he’s 1/2 of the flower boy line what can i say

ok onto the yt stuff:

he has so !!! many !!!! prank videos

and they’re hilarious

they’re not like the cliche ones that lots of people post

he tries being creative,,,,

by creative i mean extreme

chan still gets flashbacks man,,,

he’ll actually plan these pranks out for weeks on end

like, he is that devoted to the pranks, it’s admirable but also insane

his first prank he thinks was quite basic compared to his current pranks, but it was this:

he created this video montage of him going to changbin’s house while he was away

and stealing one of his caps (like taking one every week or so)

he did this over 2 months the boy’s got a lot of caps and changbin kept asking all the guys if he had left his cap at their place bc ?? it’s gone ??

the poor boy was so confused rip

for safe-keeping,,, jisung didn’t tell any of the guys about his prank,,,,

the only people that knew were woojin and changbin’s mums

bc they always let jisung into the houses

evil mums i know but their acting was A* whenever their kids asked them

he hid the caps at the bottom of woojin’s cupboard

knowing woojin would probably never look there/ get smth from there considering jisung could barely bend down to hide the caps there

at one point jisung thought changbin had figured out it was him

so then jisung was like “ay come over to my house to chill” to throw him off his track

like?? why would jisung invite him over if he has the caps??

to make it more believable jisung was like “bro imma go to the store real quick, you can carry on playing, no one else is home”

that would give changbin time to look around and find nothing if he was still suspicious

to test if changbin would actually check, he pulled a Light Yagami

just after he grabbed his wallet from his room

he stuck a lil’ bit of paper in between the door and the door jamb

and he shut the door

so if the door was opened, the paper would fall out

he went to the shops, bought some sweets and drinks for them,,,, y’know took his sweet [pUNS] time outside to let changbin look around more

he came back, put the snacks on the table and went back in to his room to put his wallet away aaaaaand,,,

lo and behold,,,,,

the paper had fallen onto the floor

the room looked just as he had left it

but he kneeeeeeeew

he left changbin with one final cap lmao

and then he was like okkkk prank over

he took all the caps back and, when changbin wasn’t at home, put them all in really bad hiding places

and then he waited until the next day to upload the whole video onto his youtube channel

he almost got caught one time

but it wasn’t in changbin’s house it was at woojin’s

he had hidden the cap (thankfully) and just as he was leaving woojin came in

and he’s like ??? i didn’t know you were coming over

and he was like oshitwhatdoido

but he quickly lied like “oh i lost one of my earrings so i was looking around the guys’ houses”

woojin was like 🤔🤔 but you haven’t been to my house in a few weeks

and jisung was like oshitoshitHEKNOWS

“oh i know, but i can’t remember when i lost it so i was just making sure”

“ahhh ok” woojinn looked like he believed him so he just got the heck outta there asap

and just as a precaution he went to a few of the other guys’ houses too and pretended to look around

just in case woojin spoke to one of the other guys

he then coincidentally ‘found’ his earring at home lmao

as i said, he’s devoted to making the prank work as best as possible

anywayssss, changbin watched jisung’s prank video as soon as it came out because ??? jisung never said anything about a prank?? how did he, of all people, manage to stay quiet about a prank?

and then,,,,, he realised,,,,,

and boIIIIII was changbin mad

he washed all of his caps bc god knows wHAT jisung might’ve done with them

and then r a n - my homeboi literally sprinted - to jisung’s house and tackled him as soon as he saw him

and jisung was literally choking on his laughter

like changbin is strangling him but he’s still laughing

he also set up cameras in the room, knowing changbin would come sometime soon

added that as a lil’ reaction clip in his next video lmfao

he’s also obviously part of the ‘00 line gamers

and he’s usually the one that starts all the twitch streams and that

he’ll screen record as well and send changbin or chan the stuff to put on their channel

he’s that one guy that literally fucks about during a match but will still get a beautiful k/d ratio & be at least top 3

he’s basically cyanide from zf but instead of a girlfriend he has minho

he also gives a lot of shoutouts on his channel and during his videos

like it can be the most random person like “shoutout to that kid in the park that joined my parkour cheer, you got a lot to learn from me but i like your moves”

has also done small giveaways

stole one of chan’s hoodies & was like thiiiiis close to selling it off to someone but chan managed to get it back just in time

he also does reaction videos to the other guys’ videos just to annoy them ;^)

like he’ll switch between going “oh yeahhh that was an amazing kill binnie(!)” to “WHOA YES DAMN!!! HYUNJIN YOU GOT SKILLZ MA BOIIIIII”

he’s literally everyone’s hype man and he’s always so positive

except when he tried doing a diss track against changbin

started it off all serious and halfway through he just ended up laughing and mocking everyone in the group before giving up

he’s also so !!!! g00d !!!!!! at singing

so sometimes he’ll just be gaming and then he’ll start singing

and it’s going all nice and his voice is being beautiful

and then it comes to a long note and he just goes AAAAAAAAH and starts screaming

1) he just killed such a beautiful song wtf

2) he didn’t mute the mic so everyone’s ears are dead wtf

so now whenever he starts singing everyone just mutes him until at least 5 mins pass

including jeongin lmao this boi aint having none of ur shit jisung

they all come back to hearing “dudes?? felix you there?? hyunjin help meeee!!! WHY ARE NONE OF YOU REPLYING TO ME?!?!?!?1!!?1!?”

and jeongin deadass said “we muted you duh”

and jisung was just like “bruh <\3 even you?”

jeongin: “i muted you as soon as the game began” #SavageMaknaeFTW

jisung’s like “well, at least minho didn’t mute me this whole time right??”

“...”

everyone diED and a couple of minutes later you just hear minho go “oh he’s finally stopped singing? that was quick”

jisung rage quite that day lmfao

so,,,,

although he makes everyone’s lives quite hectic and crazy

he’s always positive

and he’s always there for the guys

he knows when to be serious and when to have fun

and he always lets the guys know that despite the jokes and pranks, he’s got their backs and loves them very much

he’s the most open about saying he loves them the cutie <3333

this series is almost ending it’s like watching a child grow up istg im sad :(((

#stray kids #han jisung #j.one #jone #3racha #sk #stray kids scenarios #stray kids writing #stray kids imagine #kpop scenarios #kpop writing #kpop imagine #kpop #youtuber jisung #youtube au #stray kids series #jisung #jsg

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