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#like annoyed i was being depressing
isbergillustration · 6 months
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Everything is So Much
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yellowocaballero · 3 months
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Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.
Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?
Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3
TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.
I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)
Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:
"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.
"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.
"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.
"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.
I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.
'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.
People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.
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inklore · 8 months
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I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk
Srry for the rant <333
no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3
i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).
you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).
but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.
if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).
if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!
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lottieurl · 18 days
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void-tiger · 1 year
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The concept of prophetic visions and dreams in The Sandman universe is objectively hilarious when you realize it automatically involves Destiny, Dream, and Delirium, and Destiny being absolutely fed up with his younger siblings messing with his domain.
…which is probably why there are far more records of prophetic visions than prophetic dreams but the symbolism in visions is…incredibly trippy and often unsettling. But the earliest stories of either leans more in favor of prophetic dreams.
Dream doesn’t mess with his siblings domains lightly, and either asks permission, first, or has Lucienne keep a record of the tab owed to Destiny over this.
Delirium, however…
Yeah…she’s just that youngest sibling who messes with your stuff and as infuriated as you are with her it’s often as productive as shouting at a baby because she WILL cry and rip her hair out and never grasp why her actions upset you.
(so Dream gets the brunt of Destiny’s Ire. even when Desire Did It.)
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tortellinigirl · 2 years
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I feel like recently, ADHD has kind of become shorthand for “a person who is annoying online and has no real problems,” and I don’t really think that’s awesome news, given the context that ADHD has a long history of being disregarded as a made up disorder that’s just an excuse for poor/obnoxious behavior, no matter how much scientific research proves otherwise. ADHD is not by any means the only disorder that has people making a thousand misleading tiktoks about it, so perhaps do some critical thinking about why specifically ADHD has become the poster child for that behavior. There are certainly valid criticisms to be made of the way we discuss mental health online, but maybe use your brain and determine why this disorder in particular is the one that’s easiest to point at for being “annoying” and “not that big of a deal.”
#idk maybe if u actually watched a couple of the tiktoks u might learn that the lack of focus thing is reall not the main issue#its just what the people around us are most likely to notice and be bothered by#not saying it doesnt get obnoxious seeing people say the same thing over and over#and yes some people are like purposely vague and disingenuous about the symptoms to get views from people thinking they have it now#but i see that with everything. like autism PTSD depression OCD anxiety#im always getting tiktoks saying that im a lesbian or i have repressed memories or “x normal thing is a symptom of y disorder!!”#and yes its annoying but its probably somewhat helpful to people who actually are dealing w those things#and also like. if u simply stop treating ur for you page like a crystal ball that sees into your soul and reflects it back#and realize its just an algorithm designed to make u interact whether thats bc u like what u saw or fucking hated it#then u will not be as bothered !#but yes our generation seems to have a habit of constantly trying to find the right box to out ourselves in so we can be like. “marketable”#like people seem to want to design their personality like an movie character or something#but its so shitty that we’re dog piling all that on ADHD as if our specific disorder has anything to do with it#also personally i think its kind of normal to be really focused on a particular aspect of your identity when u just discovered it#and it usually evens out and just becomes part of the background of your identity#but yes there’s often a problem with pathologizing normal things#but i think its important to recognize that lots of things that are normal occasionally are pathological in excess. like thats how it works#like we’ve all been through how being sad sometimes is not the same as depression#why cant we grasp that occasionally going into a room and forgetting why you’re there isnt the same as ADHD#my posts
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lycanthian · 9 days
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gonna be 19 in less than a week. its hitting me. girl what tha fuck.
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daily-mao-isara · 7 months
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Day 305 : Heart from ME stream!
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Makoto : Alright , it should be okay now... Can everyone see us?
Mao : Oh, Comments are saying " We can see you ~"
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Shinobu : Oh~! Are those the comments ? Ah, the comment section is full of "Ninnin!" - degozaru♪
Mao : Ah, that's good.... We can start broadcasting now, Let's get started~
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Makoto : The three of us will be your hosts today! Nice to meet you~
Mao : Well then, let's draw the theme card... What is it? "If you were to to compare yourself to a RPG class, what you would be?"
Makoto : Wow, that sounds like an interesting topic! Hmm, there are a lot of things to consider
I guess I would be a mage after all♪ I'll save everyone with flashy magic. I'll carry !
Mao :  Ahaha, that's just like you, Makoto
And Shinobu.... There's no need to ask
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Shinobu : Of course I would be a ninja -degozaru ! I'll use various ninjustsu to defeat my enemies ~!
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Makoto : What about Isara-kun?
Mao :  Hmm, I don't know ~. Since you two have classes that seem to be in the rearguard, I think a vanguard job would be better.
Makoto : I guess you even thought about the balance of the party, that's just like you Isara-kun!
If that's the case, how about a magic swordsman? An all-rounder who can play the vanguard as a swordsman and also use magic as a rear guard♪
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Mao : Changing positions depnding on the situation? That sounds interesting
Shinobu : Being able to use both sword and magic Isara-dono indeed is reliable - degozaru!
Fufufu I want to hear the answers of everyone in "RYUSEITAI" de gozaru ~
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Mao : Yeah what would Subaru and Hokuto answer ?
Makoto:  Haha, I'll go ask them later.
...It seems like it's time to say goodbye. Did everyone enjoy the broadcast?
Shinobu : I hope you look forward to the next broadcast!
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Mao  : Thanks for watching. See you!
Commenters :
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Izumi : Yuukun! I'm watching the stream! Read my comments too!
Ritsu :
Maa~kun doesn't appear often! Could you talk more?
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Mayoi : Ninnin! Even through the screen Chief is adorable... ♪
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wearily-confused · 1 month
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my brain : every human has feelings and should be treated with basic empathy and kindness and-
me : *exists*
my brain : except for you, you dumb fuck, you are incorrigible and worthless and evil go kys
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kkujo · 8 months
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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
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soldier-poet-king · 10 months
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God forgive me I got bored and looked at my tumblr fyp and got blasted with blatant antisemitism AND vaccine conspiracy theories AND anti public school libertarian sentiment
The problem with being religious, specifically christian (i can't speak to if this is a universal experience across faiths, I somehow doubt it), is that I cannot stand the vast majority of my co-religionists, and online it seems that I'm only ever 3 degrees of association away from the most batshit godawful opinions I've ever had the misfortune to read
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cupuasu · 4 months
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idk man i dont feel the need to always message my friends and always go out with friends like if it happens it happens i like the spontaneity of it all. i don't think i'm a bad friend for not being up someone's ass all the time. i can spend months not talking to someone but if i see them on the street i'll go up to hug and talk to them bc for me it's never that deep to spend a long period not contacting someone. plus now all friends i made irl are at completely different point in their lives and i'm still at the same place i was in like 2019 so i do feel like i'm not "supposed" to be bothering them (wrong of me to assume im bothering i know but all i do is wait for most of them to do the first move). and nowadays all everyone posts about is you're not a real friend if you dont answer my msgs 1 second later you're not a real friend if you don't go to parties 8 days a week with someone you met in the public bathroom a thousand years ago you're not a real friend if you don't go to therapy and stop bothering your friends about your illness like omg. i'll talk to people i like i'll hang out whenever it works and i'll message you back and i won't mention my depression and i'll act normal in public but i honestly can't wait to go back home and be alone. i love you so much and me not talking to you doesn't mean i like you less or that i don't want to be your friend it just means i want some time out to be on my own lol
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lord-squiggletits · 7 months
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So for anyone who doesn't know, in IDW1 Trypticon is actually a really interesting character. Earlier in the timeline, he's basically just an ancient evil monster that gets awakened and used as a fighting force by the Decepticons (covered by the events of Monstrosity and Primacy, although I'm not sure if he made an appearance earlier in terms of the comics' release order).
Later on in the IDW1 comics, Trypticon becomes a character with his own personality and desires as written by Barber in the Dinobot trilogy (not the phase 1 series but Punishment, Salvation, and Redemption). Basically, Trypticon is very aware of the fact that people see him as a violent monster, but he decides to abandon Cybertronian society entirely because he's tired of being used as a vehicle for others' violence. By the end of the trilogy, he actually has a new hotspot inside of him and is nurturing the next generation of protoforms within his own body. He's literally done a 180 from being a source of destruction and death to being a protective, nurturing, life-giving force. And this is interesting because, although Trypticon DID have a personality before Barber wrote him, Barber's take on Trypticon gave the "big scary Decepticon titan" a much more 3D personality that made him a person with his own goals, disinterested in the plots and schemes of others. And that's really cool!
So what ended up happening Trypticon in the finale of IDW1, Unicron?
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He gets killed off. In the background. With no one giving a shit about it. Because Barber decided it was more important that, IN THE FINALE OF THE SERIES THAT WAS ENDING IDW1 AND WOULD BE THE LAST ISSUES HE WOULD EVER WRITE, we as the viewers be subjected to a Literally Who OC that no one cares about crying and bitching about how Optimus Prime is a tyrant and a fascist. This entire panel is almost literally shot in a comedic way, like the trope of "person monologuing while something crazy happens behind them that they're completely clueless to."
Trypticon got an interesting characterization that made him more than just a monster, but I guess it was more important to kill him off in the background of a panel so that Miss Literally Nobody can waste an entire page of the LAST SERIES OF THE CONTINUITY being a whining bitch about Optimus, which by the way is what she's been doing literally this whole time since she basically exists just to complain about Optimus.
Oh and by the way, Trypticon was carrying the next generation of protoforms inside of his body, and Cybertron (plus every other colony) got destroyed during the Unicron finale, so I guess an entire fucking generation of new Cybertronians also got slaughtered in this panel. How fun and exciting! I guess putting in that really depressing character death of "man changes his ways and gets to live happily but gets killed off for shock value" was really important to put in the ending of the series to make us readers feel satisfied about our beloved story ending! Oh but not only does he die, he dies IN THE BACKGROUND PRACTICALLY AS A FOOTNOTE so that a different character no one cares about can talk about her feelings, wasting crucial time bitching about how much she doesn't like Optimus while TRYPTICON IS LITERALLY DYING BEHIND HER BUT I GUESS SLIDE IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FOR US TO BE CARING ABOUT.
This is what happens when you're more concerned about huffing your own farts Writing A Theme, Man than you care about creating a satisfying ending that fans will actually enjoy lmao. Who cares about Trypticon and possibly his children that we got attached to as a result of the previous comics dying? This literal nobody who no one cares about needs to have her time in the spotlight monologuing about shit that doesn't matter while everyone around her is fucking dying.
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