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helliontherapscallion · 3 years

Note

Anon who’s dog had a seizure. I wanted to be able to give a positive update, but I won’t be able to. I was woken up by a call at around 1:30am from my mom and the first thing she said was “[my dogs name] died”

I don’t know all the details, I was in a full fledge panic attack and was overcome with despair when it was either explained to me or I overheard (frankly, I don’t remember) but apparently at some point either last night or veryyyyy early this morning my mom let the dog out to use the restroom, and he collapsed again similarly to how he did two days ago. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet (a thirty minute drive) but he didn’t even make it there.

I think I was dry heaving at some point because my panic was so bad. I ended up going to the vet with my dad so I could say goodbye (he had before my mom left with the dog) and ngl, going with him did not help in the slightest. My dad has NPD and he kept making the situation about himself and I stg I was ready to throw myself out the car window in the middle of the freeway and walk the rest of the way there OOP—

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to because of Covid, but we were allowed to all head into the vet and hold him and give proper goodbyes before they took him to be cremated (they have a partnership with some place that does all that jazz). It was rough. He’s a small dog, only 18 pounds, but just holding him felt so different. There was no resistance when I picked him up (I’m not his favorite person lol, so he’d always deadpan and shuffle away a little from me before giving in whenever i’d make grabby hands hahaha) and it was just rough.

A year and a half ago my old bird passed away in that same emergency vet, so I just felt like I was suffocating the whole time. It was basically history repeating itself and I had a ✨mental breakdown✨ while cradling the pooch. My mom almost had to drag me out 2.5 hours later because I didn’t want to leave him. I tried to be strong, he was her dog in the end and they had an unbreakable bond. I should’ve been the one comforting her, not the other way around. I totally failed lol.

Thank god I was able to go home with my mom and not my dad. I wanted to be the one to drive home so she could rest, but I didn’t have the energy to protest when I saw she was already in the drivers seat.

We’ve had him since he was a few months old. I was in first grade at the time, and despite us having a very rocky start (young me didn’t like all the attention he received bc it used to be mine) he was my lil buddy and I would have done anything for him. I was looking forward to taking my senior and graduation pictures with him soon, but it seems like that won’t be happening. I just wish I did more with him.

Sorry for rambling and being so depressing! I haven’t gotten much sleep over the past two nights so I’m really out of it.

If it’s not too much to ask for, could I have a part ii of my previous request but have it involving what I wrote above? Asdfghjkl my depressed ass needs comfort and all of my friends are in school LOL. (Thank god I was called off from school this time) Plus, I don’t wanna make my mom feel worse by adding my grief on top of her own (I hope that made sense)

Part 1

(A/N): anon, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. From what you sent me about him, he sounded like an absolute delight to be around and a very good boy. You deserve to grieve too, even if you don’t think you should. Grieving is healthy and it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored. Everyone grieves differently, so maybe you and your mom could reminisce on the good times with him? Only if you both feel comfortable doing so of course. Please get some sleep, drink plenty of water, and eat some food if you haven’t already. My DMs are always open if you ever want to talk <3

Warnings: death of a dog and bird (mentioned), panic attacks, NPD parent mention

You were jolted awake by a loud ring from your phone laying on your nightstand. It was the ringtone you specifically set for your mom. Blinking deliriously, you answered with a raspy, “mom?”

You were only met with her choked sobs on the other end. This woke you up completely as you turned on a lamp and sat up fully in your bed, “mom what’s wrong?”

“(Dog name)...” She was unable to say your dog's name before she broke into more harsh sobbing. Worry and fear pricked your gut at the mention of your dog’s name. “What about (dog name)? What’s going on?”

“He d-died, (y/n). He isn’t suffering anymore.” You felt as if ice cold water was poured onto you as you sat staring at the wall in shock. Faintly you heard your mom telling you how it happened, but you didn’t register her words. The words that came out of your mother’s mouth were nearly incomprehensible anyways due to her distress. You didn’t know when she hung up, but the next time you looked at the phone screen your homescreen met you: a picture of you, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy at an amusement park.

Your panic attack had escalated to you dry heaving over the toilet after puking up your dinner. You felt like you were suffocating as you remembered the techniques Techno used a few days prior. You stumbled up from a crouch and scrambled over to the sink. Your hands could barely grab the faucet and turn it on as you lost most of your sense of spatial awareness and everything you touched felt distant, like every single synapse in your body was both simultaneously working in overdrive and failing at the same time. The water was as cold as it was going to get, so you plunged your hands into the liquid and felt your body jolt at the temperature. After a while, your hands turned numb after regaining some senses back so you shakily cupped your hands under the faucet and gathered water into your hands. You splashed it at your face and felt yourself becoming more grounded as time passed.

By the time you left the bathroom, your dad gathered you into the car and started to drive you to the emergency vet. The entire time he was ranting about how you needed to pull yourself together because the dog was closer to him than to you. That definitely did not help in any way, it made you want to jump out of the car and walk the rest of the way to the vet. It would be better than having someone constantly belittling you for grieving. The ride was hell, but you persevered for (dog name). You needed to say goodbye to him.

When you left the car and walked into the building, it felt as if you were walking through the nine rings of hell with blazing infernos licking at your skin with every step. Dread and despair filled and overwhelmed you with every step.

When a nurse escorted you to the room, she offered you her condolences and left you to say goodbye. With wide eyes, you slowly walked over to your mom and saw the motionless bundle of fur in her hands. It looked like he was sleeping, but you knew better. She looked at you with so much heartbreak and sadness as tears slipped down her cheeks that you remembered that he was her dog in the end and they’ve always had an unbreakable bond. You needed to be strong for her.

Your stony facade broke the second your mom handed you (dog name). He was cold and stiff as he laid unmoving in your arms, not even trying to wiggle out of your embrace like he always did. You were never his favorite person. He felt so… different. So wrong.

Time passed around you as you held him and cried into his fur. This situation was very similar to your previous one that happened about a year and a half ago when your bird passed away and that was what finally sent you over the edge. Before you knew it, your mom was dragging you out of the building so he could get cremated. Your dad had long since gone home so he could get ready for work, so that left you to ride home with your mom. Not that you were complaining, it was certainly better than riding home with your dad. You just wished that you could drive so she could get some rest.

By time you got home, it was about the same time you would leave for school. As you were driving down your neighborhood, you saw a very familiar car pass you. It was Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s car. They were probably going to school. You kept your head down and stared intensely at your tightly clasped hands.

The second the car was in park in your driveway, you made a beeline for your room. For the rest of the day, you hid underneath your covers and ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You spent that time alone having a panic attack. This was your longest and most intense one yet, by the time it finally calmed down it was 10:30 at night.

You smacked your dry lips together and feel absolutely drained. The buzzing still wouldn’t let up, so you reached out with a shaky hand and opened your phone. You had at least eighty combined missed texts from Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno.

Tuesday, Innit?

Yo, the fuck’s goin on?

Why the hell did you ignore us when we passed you???

Music man take me by the hand lead me to the land

Ignore that dumbass

What’s going on? You weren’t at school today

(Y/n)?

Technology Sword

You don’t have to tell us what happened if you’re not comfortable

Just tell us if you’re okay

That was only the start of the messages in the group chat. Granted it was mostly Tommy spamming your name and Wilbur and Techno trying to get him to chill out, but some of the messages managed to calm the swirling panic inside of you slightly. Your phone buzzed as you got another text. This time, it was an individual one from Technoblade.

Technology Sword

Look out your window, grab your notebook

You raised your eyebrows slightly as you read the message. Your window was right across from Technoblade’s, so when you saw Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” music video and showed it to Techno, you both decided that this would be your primary communication before you eventually got phones. It wasted a ton of paper, but you both felt like the main characters in a story so you kept doing it. You hadn’t done this since you got your phone and he got his.

After you grabbed your spare notebook and a sharpie, you sat up in your bed and turned on your lamp. When you opened your curtains, you saw Techno smiling at you before he grabbed his notebook and wrote ‘hello’.

You uncapped your marker, wrote ‘hi’, and shakily raised it to him. You saw him frown at your shakiness, he wrote ‘you okay?’

You stared at your paper for a bit contemplating whether or not you should tell him the truth. It was no use in lying to him, he knew you better than you knew yourself. After a moment, you wrote ‘no’.

You watched as he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled together in an upwards slant. ‘Discord?’

‘Sure’

You closed your curtains once more and opened up your PC. You could already see that Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy were in a separate voice channel. When you joined, you were startled by Tommy’s loud screaming and Wilbur’s hysterical laughter.

“WILBUR YOU PRICK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT I WORKED SO HARD GETTING THAT NETHERITE!”

They were interrupted by a knock on Tommy’s door, “Tommy for the love of god it’s almost eleven at night kiddo. You can keep playing but please just keep it down.”

“SORRY DADZA!”

“Good job dumbass,” Wilbur chuckled.

“Hey (y/n), how’re you?” Techno’s somewhat pointed voice interrupted them. “(Y/N)! Please tell Wilbur that it’s not cool to borrow my armor and ‘accidentally’ fall into a lava lake.”

“It was an accident I swear!” Wilbur’s slight chuckle told you otherwise. “Wilbur,” your croaky and wobbly voice scolded him quietly, “not cool.”

The voice channel went silent as you logged into your shared minecraft server. You immediately spawned in the main lobby at spawn that you built the last time you logged in. You got to work gathering wood for walls you were going to build around the city. You saw Techno’s character run to you and help you gather wood.

“...You good, (y/n)?” Tommy’s voice took on an uncharacteristic level of gentleness and concern.

“‘M fine.”

After a while of silence, you heard keyboards start to click again. Gradually conversation started back up and everything felt lighthearted once more. Though, you only talked when you were prompted to. After gathering the correct amount of wood, you and Techno went back to your house so you could craft some slabs. However as you approached the crafting table, you passed your bed. Next to your bed was your pet dog, barking slightly and looking at you with it’s pixel eyes.

You could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the pixelated dog. With a lump forming in your throat you struggled to breathe through it, your breaths coming out shuttering. You made quick work of muting yourself on Discord and started sobbing, the white dog staring at you sitting on top of your minecraft bed. This wasn’t a panic attack, you knew that. But you still felt overcome by a massive wave of grief.

After a bit, you saw Techno’s character pop in front of you and start hitting the air. In chat, you saw that he private messaged you ‘vc 2’

You clicked off the main voice chat and was immediately greeted by Techno’s gentle voice. “What’s goin on buddy?” He was only met with your sobs, “deep breaths.”

“I’m not having a panic attack.”

“Still, deep breaths are good. Follow me.” With that, you two worked on getting your breathing back to normal and your tears slowly stopped. The entire time he was giving you praise and gentle reassurances whenever you tried to apologize to him. By the time you stopped crying you felt almost completely drained.

“You okay now?” You hummed in confirmation, too tired to say anything. “Thank you Tech, I-I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing for feeling emotions. They’re one hundred percent valid… Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”

“I…” You trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words out loud. “You don’t have to tell me, ya know.” Technoblade gently reminded you.

“I’ll PM it to you.” With that, you PMed him on minecraft explaining that your dog died this morning. “Fuck, I’m so sorry (y/n). I’m sure he isn’t suffering anymore. Did- did they ever find out what caused the seizures?”

“No, but… he had tons of health issues that I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with anymore.”

“Do you wanna talk about the good times with him with Wil and Tommy? If you don’t want to we can just talk about them here.”

“Let’s rejoin the main voice channel.”

“Hey (y/n), how’re you doing?” Wilbur gently asked you. “I’m alright, do- do you guys know what happened?” They both said yes. Technoblade must’ve told them what was happening.

“(Y/n) come outside. We built something for you.” Tommy was uncharastically gentle.

When you moved to go outside of your minecraft house and Wilbur and Tommy led you to an empty spot in the city you four were building, you stopped in your tracks. In front of you built in various types of stone was a dog statue. In front of it stood a sign that read ‘in loving memory of (dog name)’.

“We aren’t done with it, but we can finish it in a couple of hours,” Wilbur mumbled into the microphone.

“No, it’s perfect as it is. I don’t know what to say guys…”

“You don’t have to say anything, just know that we’re here for you.” Tommy said, his minecraft character walking over to your own and hitting you.

“Oi, don’t hit them!” Techno punched him back and that started an all out brawl between the two. It quickly ended when Techno pulled out his fully enchanted netherite sword named ‘Orphan Obliterator’.

“Get fucked, nerd.” You could just tell Tommy was holding in screaming at his brother. “I’m not the nerd here, you’re the one that reads for fun.” Tommy retorted. You heard shuffling on Techno’s end and him walking away from his PC. You were about to ask what was happening before you heard Tommy silently scream in terror. “Oh fuck he’s coming!” You assumed that Tommy ran to lock his door. Not long after that you heard a knock, “I just wanna talk.”

“No! You-”

“I just wanna talk.”

“Let him talk, Tommy!”

“NO WILBUR.”

You heard Philza’s groggy muffled voice, “it is midnight on a Friday. I don’t care what happens or who fights who, just do it in your own rooms and do it quietly.”

“Sorry Dad,” you heard Techno’s retreating steps before he returned to his chair. “You’re a douche, Technoblade.”

“I just wanted to talk, Tommy.” At that, Techno started beating Tommy to death once more. Each time he would kill Tommy, he would give Tommy a small head start before he would find him again. While this was happening, Wilbur PMed you ‘wanna prank Tommy and Techno? I’m thinking we put chickens under their houses’.

You looked at his player and nodded. You and Wilbur got to work luring chickens into holes you dug around their bases and burying them so that they were close enough to hear, but deep enough for it to be mildly inconvenient finding them. After you two were done with that, you met at spawn again.

“Techno stop killing Tommy. We want to tell stories about (dog name).” You saw Techno’s character sprint to your group and Tommy’s come up from a hole in the ground. “I was just about to find him.”

“Thank you! God, I hate it when he does that.”

The rest of the night you four spent reminiscing on the funny things that (dog name) did over the years. At some points you even laughed along with them. After you told them that you wanted to take your senior pictures with him, Techno offered to edit him into your photos. You didn’t know when you passed out but when you woke up, you had a crick in your neck and your PC monitor was off. You could hear three sets of soft snoring on the other end of the call. You felt yourself drifting off to their gentle breathing and smiled slightly; with them, everything felt better.

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #sbi family au #requests #hellion's requests #tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety #tw: animal death #tw: animal injury #tw: swearing

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years

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ok | sjy

↬ series: cameras & caffeine | chapter three ↬ pairing: cafe owner!jake x ceo!reader (ft. sunghoon) ↬ overall series genres: fluff, slight angst, jake also bakes, reader is a single mom, we fell in love when we were kids but life happened so we broke up and now we’re reconnecting because we’re adults and i don’t think i ever truly got over you au, love triangle if you squint really really hard ↬ navi: previous | next | series masterlist ↬ warnings: none ↬ word count: 1.3k

Jake takes in the sight of you, feeling as if the ability to breathe has suddenly been forgotten in all the years that he’s been living. He watches Layla’s excitement increase and he knows that it’s really you. You look different now, of course you did. After all, it’s been years since you last saw each other, the breakup one neither of you really expected. He couldn’t help but wonder, did you miss him too? Jake hears your question leaving your lips,

“I know you’re busy… but can we talk?” you asked.

“I’d never be too busy for you,” he wanted to say.

“I’ve missed you,” he wanted to admit.

“How have you been?” he wanted to know.

“Let’s talk inside,” he settled on.

You followed Jake into the cafe, somewhat shock at the sight of it all. The place was stunning, bustling with people despite being newly opened. You remembered the nights you and Jake stayed up talking about the things you wanted in the future and how you saw life going. You remembered how Jake would talk about settling down with you, you’d own a cafe and a bookstore next to each other and a little house to call home. Here was Jake, fulfilling his part of that dream but you weren’t here to live it out with him. Because to you, owning a bookstore was meant to stay as a dream, and running the family company was what you truly wanted.

“The place looks good,” you said as you sat at the booth Jake had led you to, Layla settling by your feet.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Surprise me.” While Jake went to the counter to make your drink, you decided to get up and look around the cafe. There was no specific theme you could pinpoint the cafe as there were a bunch of different ones running throughout the place. The entire back wall of the cafe was converted into a huge shelf wall full of books of different kinds that ranged from educational physic books to fantasy books and mystery. When you saw Jake heading back to your table, you did too. Taking a sip of the drink he had made for you, you were somewhat surprised by its taste.

“You remembered?” you asked, upon tasting your favorite drink. Jake used to make it for you

“I never forgot,” Jake replied. You took a deep breath as you set the cup on the table,

“So-” you and Jake said simultaneously.

“You go first,” you said.

“I, uhh… I don’t know if this is a good place or time to ask but I’ve just been curious. You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to but are you and Sunghoon together? I just, I saw his wallpaper when he and Jay came over and it was of you two with a kid.” You stayed quiet for a few minutes, simply trying to process Jake’s words. That meant Jake had seen Heeseung and as you and Sunghoon talked about once, while you never hid that you had a kid, you never actively advertised it either.

“Sunghoon and I aren’t together, at least, not in the way that you’re thinking. While Sunghoon isn’t the father of Heeseung, he’s the closest thing Heeseung’s ever had.” If Sunghoon wasn’t the father, Jake wondered who was but figured that it wasn’t his place to ask.

“How have, how have you been?” Your question was a simple one, Jake knew. Yet despite its simplicity, he had felt attacked in ways previously unknown because he didn’t know how to answer.

“Missing you,” he wanted to say.

“Hoping we could have another chance,” he wanted to admit.

“Wondering if you’ve missed me too,” he wanted to know. All these thoughts running through his head, all these questions popping up in his mind, all these feelings he couldn’t put into words.

“Ok,” he settled on. “What about you?”

“I’ve been ok too,” you replied. Neither of you was sure of where to go from here. You wondered to yourself if coming here was a mistake, maybe you should’ve stayed home with Sunghoon and Sunoo which would’ve avoided all of this awkwardness if you did. It’s the sound of Jake’s name being called throughout the cafe that causes you to turn around only to be met with the sight of a woman around your age, a little boy following her. Jake smiles at her and greets her with a hug, patting the little boy’s head lightly.

“Oh, were you busy? I didn’t mean to bother you two,” the woman said as she greeted you with a smile. You found your eyes fixated on her, she was stunning if you were being honest. Clearing your throat as you stand up,

“I was just about to leave,” you said. The lady tilts her head and looks up at you, then hands you a business card.

“If you ever need flowers, call me! I’m Hwayoung and this is my son, Sunoo!” You looked at Sunoo who smiled brightly at you and you could tell where he got his smile from. In an attempt to be courteous, you told her your own name and let out a fake smile.

“Are you and Jake together?” you found yourself asking. Jake’s eyes widen and you hear him clearing his throat,

“Naur, naur. It’s not like that! Hwayoung gives me free flowers to brighten up the cafe and I give her free coffee to help her get through her day.”

“Are you a poet now?” you wanted to say sarcastically but held yourself back.

“Ok, well, I really should get going. I’ve got a bunch of meetings at work tomorrow.”

“Wait, let me give you some pastries to take home. For you and, uhh, Heeseung, right?” Jake said.

“It’s ok, you really don’t have to.”

“Please, just take some? I even have those cupcakes that you like.”

“Chocolate chocolate chip?” A smile makes its way to Jake’s lips, a smile that could make your heart swoon any day, anytime.

“Chocolate chocolate chip,” he confirmed.

As you head out of the cafe, in your hands are two boxes of various pastries from Jake as well as a bouquet of flowers offered to you from Hwayoung. You head into your car, glancing at the business card before driving off, you found out that Hwayoung’s flower shop was named Sunshine & Smiles. The name looked incredibly but you couldn’t place just when or where you had heard it before. Deciding not to think much of it, you pushed all thoughts related to Hwayoung towards the back of your mind.

When you get home, you’re greeted with the sight of Sunghoon tucking Heeseung into bed, Heeseung already asleep. You can’t help but lean against the doorway, watching the two and noticing Sunghoon’s smile the whole time. Sunghoon notices you before you’ve been granted the chance to make your presence known, cheeks turning just a tinge of red. He walked shortly, closing the door to Heeseung’s room so that the two of you could talk.

“Thank you.” Your voice was so low that Sunghoon almost didn’t hear you.

“I don’t do these things for you to thank me, I do it because I want to.” Most days, Sunghoon downplayed all the things he did for you and acted as if it wasn’t a big deal. But it was. Sunghoon had been there the nights Heeseung was crying and you were too exhausted to get up. Sunghoon had been there for you the days you were stressed and offered you support when no one else did. Your mind went back to what Jake had mentioned earlier, about a photo of you, Heeseung, and Sunghoon as Sunghoon’s homescreen. You didn’t realize it earlier but it was only now that that meaning was beginning to set in for you. You and Sunghoon weren’t together, not in that way but you wondered… was there a possibility there?

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❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | main blog masterlist | blog navi

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collecting-stories · 3 years

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Hurricane - c. 07 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: Good times don’t last forever.

A/N: I finished the re-write and now I’m almost done this fic! I’m so excited!!

Holiday in the Sun Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“You look ridiculous,” Rafe piped up, catching a glimpse of your reflection in the hall mirror as you moved around in the bathroom. You’d run the shower long enough that the bathroom had let out a wave of steam when you finally opened the door, allowing the cool air of the hotel room to dry you so that you could put a face mask on. You were shimmery and purple but you’d looked more ridiculous before.

“It’s a face mask,” you replied, “you have two sisters, you’ve never seen anyone in a face mask before?” You asked, coming out of the bathroom, still holding your towel around you. The pajamas you’d picked out were sitting at the foot of the bed Rafe was lounging on.

He was on his phone though he looked up when you came in. Before you even realized it he’d held his phone up, snapping a picture of you.

“Rafe!” You clutched the edge of your towel as you reached out with your other hand and smacked his leg, “delete that!”

“I might make it my lockscreen, what do you think?” He teased, holding his phone out so you could see the picture he’d taken. You looked slightly stunned, caught off guard.

“No, delete that picture, forreal,” you stopped at the edge of the bed, knees hitting the duvet, “you play dirty, you know that.” You grabbed your shorts and top from the end of the bed and headed back into the bathroom to change.

“So should I make this my lockscreen or my homescreen?” Rafe called, getting up and following you to the bathroom. He walked in just in time to see you pull your top down and you glared at him though it was useless.

“Delete it.”

There were moments that felt semi-perfect, as close to a real, actual, relationship as you thought you could get. But they were barely fully fledged moments, just snippets of something that never got to last because just when you were letting yourself fall into this your brain reminded you that everything here was temporary. Rafe included.

“Hey, I don’t wanna be a killjoy here,” you said, sitting at the table on the balcony with Rafe, watching as he lit the blunt he’d brought with him. There’d been a whole tin of them but was down to one. You were watching the sun setting in the distance, thinking about the fact that your vacation was supposed to be ending in two days. “But what exactly happens at the end of this week?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, smoke tumbling out of his mouth as he exhaled the words.

Maybe you should’ve had this conversation sober but you couldn’t help yourself. The thought had been gnawing at since you left the house the night before and even longer, since he first flirted with you in the kitchen at midnight. Where was this headed? Rafe had never struck you as the type of guy who did long distance relationships, or any relationships for that matter. Wheezie had certainly nailed that when she was talking her brother down, trying to sway your interest away from him. Maybe you should’ve listened to her.

The last time you had seen Rafe was four years ago and you had disappeared out of each other’s lives almost completely after that vacation. But then he was just an unattainable crush you still stacked every potential date against a guy who had felt leagues out of your reach. How did you recover this time, after this vacation, if life went back to normal?

“I mean, you’ll go back home with your family...” you had heard what Ward said the night before but you couldn’t bring yourself to honestly believe that he would throw his son out completely. He wasn’t winning any awards for father of the year but could he really be so terrible?

“Doubtful.” Rafe replied, managing to blow a smoke ring but losing the second one when he smiled.

“What do you mean doubtful? You really think he’ll not let you come home?” You asked.

“Ward said if I fucked up again, I wasn’t coming home.” he replied, “that was the agreement for the trip.”

“Where are you supposed to go?” You asked, crossing your arms for a bit of warmth as the breeze picked up. There was a sinking feeling settling in the pit of your stomach and maybe it was just you being paranoid but you were suddenly regretting the entire conversation. Maybe ignorant bliss would’ve been better.

“Dunno,” he shrugged, “here’s pretty nice.”

“You can’t stay here Rafe.”

“Why not?”

Suddenly that feeling you’d been having made perfect sense to you, “well, for one...you’re not footing the bill, I am.” You replied, “what are you supposed to do when I leave?”

“You know what, you’re right, you are being a killjoy.” He replied.

Blissful ignorance, you wished you could turn the clock all the way back to the beginning of the trip. “Is that all this is to you? Just some game? Someone to pay your way?”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Rafe snapped, “I got kicked out cause of you-”

“No!” You got up from the table, heading back to the sliding doors, “you got kicked out because you insisted on going back there and picking a fucking fight with your dad when you knew he was already on edge!”

“Back to blaming me again, awesome.”

“I’m not blaming you...I just...” You sighed, “nevermind.”

The door slid closed behind you and you padded across the carpet floor to the bathroom, going inside and locking yourself in. The thought that Rafe was using you as a place to stay was something you didn’t want to consider but now that you’d said it out loud it was like it wouldn’t get out of your head.

You shut the lid of the toilet and sat down, pulling your phone out of your pocket and pulling up Sarah’s number, texting her to see how things were going at the house. You hadn’t reached out to your mom again and you weren’t sure how things would be when you got home again, if you would be able to move on from this and go back to normal. You were waiting for a text back from Sarah when a knock on the bathroom door made you look up. It was too late to turn on the shower or run the faucet and pretend you didn’t hear him but you weren’t going to open the door either.

“Can we talk?” Rafe asked through the door.

You stayed silent, staring at the tiles under your feet.

“Please?” He tried again, “look, I’m sorry I snapped at you-”

“This isn’t cause you snapped at me.” You called.

“Well, whatever, I’m sorry.”

You stood up, walking to the door and pulling it open, “I’m not mad at you. In two days I’m going home and what happens then? We just, leave all this here? Or what...your dad kicks you out so you come up to Connecticut and act like you’re there for me but the whole time I’m stuck wondering if you’re just there for the free room and board?”

“Look, I don’t know what’s gonna happen in two days-”

“But I need to know.” You stressed.

“Why?”

“Because I really like you and I don’t want this to mean more to me than it does to you.” You admitted. “I have school and responsibilities...I can’t just stay here cause I want to or “chill” cause it’s fun. I have to go home in two days, that’s happening. But I need to know what happens to us in two days when I leave.”

“I don’t...” Rafe trailed off, running a hand through his hair and pulling gently at the ends as he did. “I didn’t mean that I wanted you to front the bill for everything, I just meant that I wanted this to keep going...I don’t want you to go home in two days.”

“That’s kind of inevitable.”

“Why? I like this, exactly the way it is.” Rafe said.

“This isn’t real life.”

“I want it to be.”

“If it’s not...if this isn’t “forever” that’s okay.” You lied. If it he told you that life went back to the way it was, that your relationship with him would go back to the same as it was before vacation, non-existent, you weren’t sure how you would get through the next two days. But you didn’t think you could stand being here with him.

“I don’t know.” He repeated. He wanted to tell you that he knew exactly how he felt about you but he wasn’t sure. The entire vacation had turned into a whirlwind of emotions, none of which he expected, and he didn’t know what to feel about anything. Especially not this. He wanted to assure you that this was real and that his feelings were genuine and that he definitely hadn’t considered that if Ward didn’t let him come home he would need a place to stay but it had been at the front of his mind.

“Okay.” You nodded. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you pulled it out to see a text from Sarah.

“What is it?”

“Sarah wants to know if we wanna meet up with her and Topper tonight.” You replied.

“We don’t have to.” Rafe said, watching you as you looked up at him.

“Might be fun,” you admitted, almost eager for the distraction. “And, we have two days right, like you said.”

Confused feelings and alcohol had never been known to mix before and they definitely didn’t that night. You and Rafe needed to talk. To get to the bottom of your feelings about each other and honestly figure out if this relationship was something you wanted to pursue. But Sarah had invited the two of you to a club and you were quick to drown your rational thoughts in alcohol.

It took two songs, four rounds of shots and a few beers for you to lose your inhibitions. You were starting to feel better, or at least more distracted than you had been earlier, dancing with Sarah, when you jokingly twisted under her arm and spotted Rafe in one of the booths making out with some random girl. She was practically straddling him on the bench and even in the dim lighting you knew that it was him and you stopped dancing.

“What’s-” Sarah stopped when you did, blinking against the almost strobe lights as she tried to see what you were seeing, gaze landing on her brother.

“Alright, I got drinks.” Topper’s voice sounded far away, just like the music and Sarah...it all sounded like you were listening to it through a tunnel. Your vision blurred and you turned away from the scene, shoving against Topper accidentally and rushing out of the club that was part of the resort.

Topper set the drinks on an outlying table and waited for Sarah to give him any sort of direction. When she said nothing, just staring at her brother, he touched her arm, “Sarah?”

“He’s such a dick!” She snapped, glaring at him as if he was the one who had wronged you.

“I’ll take care of Rafe, just make sure she’s okay.” Topper said. The both of them were far more sober than you were and Topper was worried that you would have trouble getting back to your room safely without help.

taglist: @stevie-buck @vitaminekabc @mysterious-adventurer @vintageobx @starkeymemories @kookkyra @babygal-babygal @khiaraaa-in-spacee @fangirlvoice @tayyx @ilovejjmaybank @damonsalvawhore27 @princess-of-the-fandoms @illbesafeforyou @heavenlymama @vindictive-hearts @alexa-playafricabytoto @dontjinx-it @randomficsandshit @niamhobrien @strangerthanfanfiction713 @tovvaf @freckled-and-daydreaming @harleylynn @bibliophilewednesday @dpaccione @bolaurel @poguestyleskye @beautyandthebleh @under-a-canyon-moon

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seoulsides · 4 years

Text

only shine for me

⇒ asmodeus x fem!mc/reader

⇒ 2.8k

⇒ tags: fem!mc, worried!asmo, jealous!asmo, protective!asmo, cheeky!simeon, mutual pining, yes simeon knows they’re idiots in love, fluff, REAL SOFTNESS!

⇒ warnings: spoiler for chat between simeon and luke

⇒ summary: when asmodeus catches you passed out from exhaustion on top of a certain angel, he can’t decide whether he wants to rip his hair out from worry or jealousy

⇒ a/n: this was COMPLETELY inspired by the chat between simeon and luke about mc. i thought it worked really well because in my personal view, i strongly believe that asmodeus views simeon as a threat, as per his denial of being jealous of simeon (seen in an asmodeus homescreen interaction). i also believe he felt called out by simeon (chapter 8), who seems to see asmo for who he is, and that is something i think which makes asmo feel very insecure. just watch my asmo character study come out soon. i think to some asmo might come off as OOC, but this is my take on his character once the entire bravado has been dropped.

It was far too late for him to be leaving RAD and all Asmodeus wants is to go back home and just soak in a glorious bath. He already knows that his new bath salts from Majolish had been delivered, having received an email earlier in the day. It was ironic, he muses, that the driving force behind his impatience to go home was the very thing that kept him from doing just that. It was his eagerness during class that landed him in detention. Scratch that — actually, it was all Mammon’s fault. After receiving the email, Asmodeus had excitedly texted you, slipping in a cheeky offer to join him in ‘trying out’ his new products if you were interested, when his scumbag of a brother snuck a look at Asmodeus’ texts from the corner of his eye and then proceeded to blow a gasket.

Instantaneously the both of them had been sentenced to a long gruelling detention, which would have lasted only two hours had Asmodeus’ moronic waste-of-space brother not tried to argue with the professor and blame it all on him. And just for that, they earned another four hours. It felt like an eternity before they were finally free and Asmodeus practically bolted the very second he could, leaving Mammon to grumble by himself.

Asmodeus pouts to himself as he reads your texts on his D.D.D. Lately you have been overwhelmed with a lot of work and had spent the past couple of weeks staying behind after classes to work in the library, coming home late at night. This was also the reason you had to ‘regretfully decline’ his gracious offer. He frowns as he recalls how tired you have been looking for these past few days. You had dark eye bags and frankly seemed like you were half asleep most of the time. He has been worried for a while, and every time he tried to get you back early enough to have a proper night’s rest, you insisted that you were fine. It made him feel useless. Just what kind of a demon would he be if he couldn't care for his precious master?

Regardless of your insistence, he was adamant. You needed to pace yourself before you burnt yourself out. Glancing at the time on his D.D.D., he decides on paying you a visit to see if you were up to take up his offer now that you were probably done with your work for the day. As much as he wanted to monopolise your time, he would rather pamper you and make sure you got the rest you needed.

Fuelled by the prospect of sharing a soothing luxurious bath, possibly in your company, Asmodeus rushes to leave. So great is his impatience that he decides to use a shortcut to get to the house, a convenient little pathway that cuts through the courtyard. In his haste, he almost misses the two figures perched upon one of the courtyard benches. Almost.

He notices movement from the corner of his eye and, when he turns, blanches at the sight before him. There you were, the one person that was plaguing his thoughts, draped across the source of some of his deep-rooted insecurities. Simeon was sitting upon the bench, ethereal as ever as the moonlight illuminated his radiant presence. He was gazing softly at your sleeping face, cradling your head in his lap delicately as his free hand was stroking your hair. He had yet to notice the presence of the demon, far too enamoured with the human sleeping on his lap. Asmodeus clears his throat, a fake smile plastered across his face, “Now, what do we have here?”

“Ah, hello Asmodeus,” Simeon smiles at the demon, his hand only pausing momentarily whilst gently stroking your head. Asmodeus’ eyes narrow at the tender gesture, his pristine smile faltering as the angel continues speaking, oblivious to the demon’s inner turmoil, “We were chatting before planning to leave, but ___ was so tired, she ended up falling asleep on my lap. We’ve been here for a couple of hours.”

Asmodeus’ false smile falls at the angel’s words and he looks at you with narrowed brows, eyes brimming with concern. “She’s overworked herself,” he mutters, a distraught frown marring his beautiful face.

“Well, then,” Simeon looks back down at the serene expression on your face, “It looks like I’ll be here a while longer.” Asmodeus grimaces at the fondness in the angel’s voice.

“I can take her,” the words slip from the demon’s mouth through gritted teeth quicker than he can register them. Asmodeus quickly composes himself and smiles thinly at the beautiful angel, jaw clenching at the sight of Simeon gazing at you affectionately.

“It’s quite alright”, Simeon brushes off the demon’s offer easily. The hand stroking your hair instead moves to cup the curve of your cheek and Asmodeus feels his blood run cold, eyes flashing with rage.

“I already informed Luke that I would not be back for dinner. Besides,” Simeon raises his gaze from your sleeping face to meet the stony expression of the bristling demon, an elusive smile dancing on his lips, “I wouldn’t want to disturb your ‘plans’.”

There was no doubt that the angel was referring to the episode that occurred in class earlier in the day and the ever-so-slight taunt underlying his words, whether they stemmed from good humour or not, only served to infuriate the peeved demon further. At this point, Asmodeus can feel his cheery facade crack, his manicured hands fisting in fury.

“I said I could take her,” Asmodeus hisses, failing to smother the unbridled jealousy that festers in his stomach. He certainly cannot stop the possessiveness from bleeding into his voice when he seethes, “She is my master, after all.”

Simeon has the gall to look amused and the demon’s hands twitch at his sides from the overwhelming desire to just rip you away from the celestial being. Openly glowering at the angel, Asmodeus is just about to drop his act and give the angel a piece of his mind before Simeon cuts him off with an infuriatingly coy smile, “You may do as you please.”

Asmodeus does not hesitate, taking two quick strides towards the bench before kneeling down to scoop you up into his arms. A low groan sounds from your throat as you were jostled from your comfortable position on the angel’s lap and Asmodeus’ scowl melts immediately. He gently shushes you as he cradles your tired form to his chest, delicately tucking your head under his chin. You let out an incoherent mumble, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. Asmodeus pauses, looking down at you fondly, unable to fight the endeared smile from appearing on his face as he holds you close in his arms.

An airy chuckle rips him from his reverie and Asmodeus casts a dubious glance at the entertained angel. Under the demon’s wary gaze, Simeon only shakes his head to himself, almost as though he knew something the demon didn’t. He rises from the bench to take his leave, “I’ll trust her with you,” he gives the demon a nod, “Please ask her to text me once you both arrive back home.”

“Believe me, I’ll make sure,” Asmodeus growls under his breath as he clutches you to his chest possessively. He offers the retreating form of the celestial being one more glare, before spinning on his heel. He looks down at you exhausted form anxiously. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead before whisking you away from the courtyard.

“HEY! WHAT’RE YOU DOING WITH ___?!” Mammon’s obnoxious voice echoes throughout the mansion and Asmodeus swears under his breath, cursing himself for thinking the Avatar of Greed wouldn’t pounce on the both of you the very second he walked through the main entrance with you in his arms.

“Shut up, you absolute moron!” Asmodeus hisses angrily, turning you away from the loud demon in an attempt to shield you from the ruckus, “She’s asleep!” At his words, Mammon freezes, eyes wide with alarm. You let out a soft groan and both the demons stiffen at the sound. Three seconds seems to be the extent of the greedy demon’s patience threshold, for when there is no indication of you rousing from your sleep, Mammon is back to his interrogation.

“But, why are you—” Mammon tries to protest indignantly, but Asmodeus cuts him off with a loud shush. Before the Avatar of Greed can get another word in, Asmodeus stalks off with you, leaving the older demon to belt out a litany of abuses after the both of you which are thankfully then drowned out by the angered voice of Lucifer’s booming, “MAMMON !!”

Finally, within the comfort of his room, Asmodeus releases a relieved sigh. Hopefully, Lucifer kept that fool occupied long enough that he wouldn’t seek either of you out.

“Asmo?” you mumble his name dazedly, recognising the demon’s cologne. Asmodeus shudders when he feels your breath against his clavicle. He brings a hand up to pat your head gently, cooing softly at you, “It’s okay, petal, I got you.”

He takes you to his bed, setting you down gently as you gather your surroundings. You look at him questioningly, “How did I get here? Where’s Simeon?” The demon does his best to not bristle at the mention of the angel, but fails to keep the hostility out of his voice, “He’s back at the Purgatory Hall,” he grumbles, “I brought you back.”

Asmodeus is too absorbed in his sulking to notice how your face drops at his words. You look up at the Avatar of Lust guiltily, “I’m so sorry, Asmodeus,” your voice heavy with shame, “I caused Simeon and you both so much trouble.” You pull away from his hold to get to your feet, “I know you had plans and I completely ruined them, haven’t I?”

Asmodeus’ head whips to face you so quick, you would expect his neck to snap. Eyes wide with alarm, he immediately wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest, babbling in a panic-stricken voice, “No, no, petal, no, it’s nothing like that! I’m sorry!”

You look up at him, completely perplexed, “Why are you sorry? I should be sorry. I’ve ruined your entire evening—” A long slender finger presses up against your lips, effectively cutting you off, “No more apologising” Asmodeus chides you, a frustrated frown set on his lips.

You look at him sullenly and his entire demeanour softens. Settling you on his lap, he inwardly curses at himself for being so taken with you, “Please stay, petal, please.” His warm hands find your cold ones and he entwines your fingers together, “You haven’t ruined anything. I had detention and on my way back, I saw you with him.” His thumb brushes over yours tenderly, “I got...I got jealous and insisted on taking you back.”

He perks up as though he reminded himself of something before he pins you with another frustrated look, pouting severely, “You need to take better care of yourself! You’re aren’t getting enough sleep! It’s bad for your skin. And health!” He berates you furiously, “And it’s unsafe! You can’t just overwork yourself to the point you fall asleep like that in public! What if you were alone?”, Asmodeus’ voice hardens, wrought with worry “You were vulnerable. Who knows what could have happened to you?”

“Asmo,” you murmur softly at the distressed demon, “I’m so sorry for worrying you.” You squeeze his hands before releasing one to cup one of his cheeks in an attempt to comfort him, “I got a little homesick a couple of weeks ago and fell behind on some course work.” Your voice softens, “I promise to be more careful from now on, okay?” Asmodeus’ frown smooths out into a sulky pout.

You offer him a small smile, thumb brushing over his cheek to soothe his frown, “And I promise you, there’s no need to be jealous. Not when you’re my favourite person.” Finally, Asmodeus lets out a small laugh, leaning into your hand, “Ah, you’re so sly, petal”, he hums quietly, melting into your tender caress, “You’ll really be the end of me.”

“Now that can’t happen, can it? Just what would I do without you?” you reply in an equally hushed voice. He smiles into the palm of your hand and your feel the butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach, “How can I make it up to you?”

“Let me draw you a bath,” he beams sweetly at you, “I’ve been eager to put those bath salts to use.” You hand stops stroking his cheek when you tilt your head at him inquisitively, “But you bought them for yourself.”

He whines at your lack of attention, raising his free hand up to cover yours, “And I want you to use them.” You resume your ministrations, letting out a soft laugh when he nuzzles into your hand, “Asmo, that’s so sweet, but honestly I couldn’t do that. I know how expensive they are and how long you’ve been waiting to use them.”

He looks at you with a pout, “And I will be using them. On you.” His expression immediately morphs into a coy one, teasing you in a playful voice, “Or would you like me to join in as well?” You offer him a deadpan expression, and he lets out a hearty laugh before moving your hand from his cheek to bring it to his lips, “I want to do this for you,” he breathes against your fingers.

“Why?” you ask him, voice almost a whisper. “Because,” he replies easily, brushing a chaste kiss to the back of your hand, “You matter to me.” His hand moves lower to clasp your wrist, “So, please, let me do something for you.” He presses his lips against your inner wrist, a soft kiss directly upon your pulse, “Please let me take care of you.”

“Asmodeus,” you breathe out, eyes watering as you feel your heart race wildly in your chest, “You matter to me, too.” Your voice shakes, heavy with emotion and the three words you’ve been wanting to say for the past week press against your tongue. Instead of liberating them, you swallow them down along with the other words you wished you could say and press a kiss to his jaw.

Asmodeus beams at you as he cups your chin and presses a kiss against your cheek, “Ah, my little petal is such a naughty girl.” Your face flushes, becoming even more and more flustered as he kisses your other cheek, followed by a kiss to your forehead. Completely flustered, you nearly forget what you needed to do.

“Oh, wait!” you pull away, ignoring the needy demon’s cry of protest, “I need to call Simeon. I need to explain everything and apologise to him,” you worried your lower lip with your teeth. The Avatar of Lust only chuckles, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you back on his lap, “Don’t worry about that, petal. I took care of it.”

Before you can question him, the demon stands to his feet, hoisting you up in his arms. You let out a yelp and he presses a cheeky kiss against the corner of your mouth, giggling when you gasp, “Let’s get your bath started, hm?”

Back in Purgatory Hall, Simeon lets out a loud chuckle as he checks the new notification on his D.D.D., causing Luke to look at him curiously. “What’s so funny?” the younger angel inquires, looking at the elder demon peculiarly.

“Ah, it’s nothing important,” Simeon shakes his head to himself, offering the boy a private smile, “Say, don’t you think those demon brothers are funny?” Luke scoffs, proceeding to go off on a tangent about how nasty “those demon brothers” were. Simeon muffles another chuckle as he glances back at the screen of his device.

There on Simeon’s D.D.D. is a picture of you and Asmodeus. You were splayed across his lap, face entirely flushed as Asmodeus pressed a kiss to your cheek, lips drawn into a coy grin with one of his eyes closed to deliver a perfectly cheeky wink at the camera. Right beneath the picture was a message that read ‘Here you go! She’s back home, where she belongs ❤︎❤︎❤︎’’

“Simeon, don’t ignore me!” Luke protests and the elder angel laughs, pocketing his D.D.D. as he offers the younger angel an apology. Smiling along to whatever Luke was saying, Simeon cannot help but hope that the two of you would come clean about your emotions. Although from what he witnessed today, he smiles secretly to himself, he thinks you both were well on your way.

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prettyboybarzal · 4 years

Note

82 with kevin hayes if you write for him!

of course!!!! i got a lil carried away. enjoy, my love :)

requests from this list are open!!!

Kevin was drunk. Well, he was 12 hours ago at midnight. He’d gone on a trip to Vegas with his brother and a few friends, and apparently things had gotten out of hand because you woke up to three missed calls and a very long voicemail.

The sight of his name on your homescreen made your stomach twist and turn. Things between the two of you hadn’t been that great since the Flyers season ended. He left Philly to return to Boston for the off season, and as a result ended the three month long situationship you had going on.

You hadn’t heard from him since, and you thought it was better to keep it that way. But, seeing his name on your phone again made you feel differently.

“Fuck, she didn’t pick up,” you heard him slur to someone else. “YN, I needed you to pick up and you didn’t.” There was a long pause, some arguing on the other end of the phone, and then he was back. “Listen, YN, I met a girl tonight and I need you to tell me not to do something stupid like elope with her.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach.

“But you didn’t pick up.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear and deleted the message without listening to the minute remaining. And then you tossed it into the drawer beside your bed and left it behind, deciding the day would be better if you just unplugged.

The voicemail shook you up and, despite leaving the phone on the other end of your apartment, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The entire day went by and you remained on the couch, bag of chips on one side of you, wine on the other. If you couldn’t get the sound of his voice out of your head, maybe the wine could.

It was around 8 p.m. when there was a knock at your door. Without thinking, you stood and sauntered over, bottle in hand. One peek through the peephole revealed a wide expanse of chest clothed in a Flyers t-shirt. You were frantic, placing the bottle on the side table beside the keys so you could pull the door open.

As soon as the door was opened, Kevin breathed out, “Holy.”

“What?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of your face. “Your cheeks are so red, and your eyes are all glassy.”

“Why are you here?” you asked, flinching out of his touch. He looked wounded, gazing down at his fingers that had stilled in mid-air. “Shouldn’t you be at your wedding?”

“Oh, no,” he grumbled. “I saw your name on my recent calls and I got the first flight out here. I couldn’t remember if we talked or if I left a voicemail, and I needed to come and see you.”

“I hope you signed a prenup, Kevin.”

“A prenup?” he asked, blinking rapidly. “What are you talking about?”

“You called me last night to tell me that you were going elope with some girl you met,” you explained. “God, what is wrong with you?”

“Can I come inside please?”

“No.”

He rolled his eyes and you momentarily thought about smacking him upside the head to see if they’d get stuck like that, but thought better of it.

“YN, whatever I said, it wasn’t true,” he began. “I promise you. I swear. Can I please come in?”

You stared at each other, both unwavering until finally you stepped aside and let him in. As he turned to slide his shoes off, he caught sight of the bottle on the side table and lifted it up to wave it in front of your face.

“Don’t judge me.”

“I would never,” he said. And then, for good measure, he took a swig. To your dismay, the corners of your lips quirked up and so did his. You rolled your eyes and turned to enter the living room, plopping down in the spot you’d just been. He sat on the other end.

He broke the silence first.

“I didn’t get married,” he said. He wiped his palms on the shorts he was wearing, eyes set on your face. “I wouldn’t just marry anyone. I know sometimes I’m a shithead, but I’m not that bad.”

“You are a shithead.”

He sighed loudly, knowing damn well that you were referring to the “break up” in May. And then, he turned to face you completely.

“YN, I fucked up,” he admitted. “I really fucked up, and I knew that the moment I left Philly. Jimmy’s been on my ass about it because I haven’t stopped talking about you, so he wanted to bring us to Vegas and get my mind off it. And, honestly, it just made it all worse because apparently I told you I was getting married?”

“You left me a three minute long voicemail,” you informed him. “I couldn’t make it past a minute and a half.”

“Thank God,” he murmured, running a hand over his face. “I worry about what the last minute and a half was.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry for stressing you out.”

“You didn’t,” you quipped. He glanced at the wine on the coffee table, so you kicked his shin lightly, earning a chuckle from him. “I thought I was over you.”

“And you’re not?”

“Clearly no,” you murmured. “I think my heart broke for a second time when I listened to your voicemail today.”

"I love you.”

“Kevin.”

“I mean it,” he said. “I’m not saying that to save face or make you not be upset with anymore. I genuinely love you. I have for a really long time, and I was stupid to leave Philly without locking you down. I only want you, forever. Swear.”

“Forever, Kev?” you asked in disbelief. “You’re full of it.”

He scooched down the couch, pulling you into his lap.

“Forever,” he said. “You’re the only girl I want to elope with.”

You reached up and pushed his chest with your hand, trying to calm your beating heart. He took your hand in his and pulled it into his, fingers interlocking as you gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Forgive me, please,” he begged. “I am the biggest idiot.”

“You are,” you agreed, cupping his face in your hands. He reached up with his free hand and wrapped it around the back of your neck. “You’re not allowed to elope with anyone but me.”

“Does this mean we’re out of the woods?”

“You have a lot of making up to do,” you told him. He smiled before pulling you down to him and kissing you slowly. When he pulled away, he smirked at your swollen lips and the smile you couldn’t seem to hide. He couldn’t believe he’d ever let you go. He stood, gathering you in his arms for the walk down the hall.

“Let me start making it up to you now.”

#kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes #kevin hayes fic #nhl prompt #mk writes #nhl prompts #writing

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sidemenimaginesss · 4 years

Text

and they were roommates - simon minter

requested: yes - “Hey can you do number 40 with Simon?☺️”

prompt: 40. “stop saying things that make me want to kiss you”

summary: you barely know your new roommate simon. what happens when the tension between you keeps rising after multiple inconvenient run-ins?

wordcount: 3500

you got linked up with simon through your mutual friend vik after he found out that the both of you were looking for a roommate in london. you couldn’t contain your excitement and immediately agreed to live with this unknown man. he’s a friend of vik’s so he must be nice. you’ll probably get along just fine... right?

you’ve been texting him back and forth about certain aspects of your new home, such as who gets which room, who brings which piece of furniture et cetera, but you haven’t really had the chance to get to know each other. guess that’ll have to wait until the day you actually meet.

it’s the day of moving into your new flat and you and your parents are the first ones to arrive. simon texted you earlier that he still needs to figure some stuff out before he can move in. and so box after box filled with your belongings and pieces of furniture fill the room. you sigh when you’re finally done bringing them all in. you thank your parents and say your goodbyes before you sit down on the floor for a few minutes and take in your surroundings. finally, your own place.

you put on some music and spend the next few hours unpacking. you start with your bedroom, making sure your bed is all set up so you don’t have to sleep on the floor tonight. you continue by setting up different pieces of furniture around the living room, making sure that there’s still enough room for simon’s stuff.

at around 9pm you realise you’ve been working the entire day and still haven’t eaten any food. you decide to quickly order some chinese before continuing the unpacking process.

at around 10pm you’ve finished your takeout meal and you decide it’s time to get some rest. you want to take a shower, but are simply too exhausted to do so. instead, you simply jump into bed and fall asleep soon after.

your alarm goes off at 8am, reminding you that you still have a lot of work to do. before you start though, you decide it’s time to go take a shower first.

grabbing a towel and some shower gel, you walk into the bathroom and get out of your clothes. you put on some music you can sing along to and figure out how the shower works before jumping in.

whilst washing your hair, you receive a notification on your phone, but you decide to ignore it. about 15 minutes later, you turn off the shower and get out.

you grab your towel and dry yourself off before realising you need to grab some clean clothes. you put your hair up in a quick bun, ready to walk to your room, before the bathroom door suddenly opens. “oh my god!” you scream loudly when the man who opened the door looks at your naked body in shock and quickly turns around.

you slam the door shut and start breathing heavily. you grab your phone, thinking of calling the police, when you notice a text message from simon on your homescreen: ‘surprise! almost here. finished up packing everything last night. can’t wait to meet you.’ you quickly wrap your body in a towel and call out “simon?”

when you don’t get a response, you open the bathroom door slightly and peek around the corner to see simon’s back facing you. you realise your music is still blaring loudly through your phone’s speakers and you turn it off completely before trying again, “simon?”

this time, he turns around slowly and you’re met with a smug face. “that’ll be me. nice to meet you, roomie,” he extends his hand and you awkwardly shake it through the small gap.

you let out a small laugh when he lets go of your hand. “hey, you wouldn’t be willing to grab me some clothes, would you?”

he smirks and answers coolly, “not a problem. where can i find them?” you step out of the bathroom slightly to point towards your bedroom door and he follows your finger with his eyes. “that room, box next to the wardrobe. you can pick out something nice,” you smile. he nods and looks back over to your face, suddenly making you realise how close the two of you are actually standing. you meet his eyes, lick your lips and look down to the floor, only looking up again when you can’t feel the heat of his body next to yours anymore.

“so how do i look?” you ask simon when you’re finally done getting ready in the bathroom.

after looking up from his phone, he looks you up and down from the couch and nods. “you look great.”

you nod and can’t help but feel flustered when you remember he didn’t just see you naked a few minutes ago, but also picked out your underwear for you. talk about a first impression.

you join him on the couch and try to start a conversation. “so, simon, tell me about yourself,” you smile at him as he puts his phone away and sighs. “well i’m simon, but you already knew that. i do youtube, just like vik. did i ever mention i have like nearly 9 million subscribers? it’s no big deal. but you probably already knew that though, right?” he asks for confirmation and you nod slowly, feeling weirded out by his big ego. you didn’t catch that vibe through his text messages.

“oh by the way, because of that, don’t get confused when i have some people over and throw parties here from time to time. that won’t be a problem, right?” he stares you down with confidence, seemingly trying to intimidate you. “as long as there aren’t too many people, it should be fine,” you answer skeptically and smile, trying to hide how uncomfortable you feel. “good. well what else do you want to know about me?”

you cringe slightly at his tone and think of how to phrase your next question without sounding too rude. “where did you get that arrogance from?” you perk up one eyebrow and watch his jaw tense, your own lips curving into a smile. he quickly readjusts his demeanour as he once again looks you up and down. he narrows his eyes at you and tilts his head to the side slightly, poking his tongue in his cheek before a sarcastic smile settles upon his lips. “where did you get your feistiness from?”

“i asked you first,” you shoot back, quick-witted. “and i asked you second,” he smiles sweetly.

the two of you stare each other down for a few seconds before you sigh and look away, making him puff out a chuckle and say something under his breath, “that’s what i thought.”

the rest of the morning was spent pretty much avoiding each other. you went back to your room and continued unpacking the boxes whilst he worked on the living room. you didn’t do any bonding, getting to know each other or even much more talking except for when you asked simon if he wanted anything to eat during lunchtime. he declined and kept on installing your new tv whilst you sat in the kitchen, munching on some leftover takeout from last night.

you watch him struggle with several cables for a while from the kitchen island, minding your own business until he groans out of frustration. you let out a snort and see his head snap up to you in anger, “what‘s so funny?”

you chuckle softly and smile it off, “nothing, please continue putting those cables in the wrong places, i’m quite entertained.”

after a few seconds of silence you look up from playing with your food to see him staring at you. “oh, so you think you can do this better?” he answers, nostrils flaring in anger. you nod cockily, jumping off of your barstool and joining him in front of the tv.

you grab the instructions out of his hands and feel his breath on your neck when he towers over you to read where you’re pointing on the paper. “see, you keep putting them in this,” you point at a real plug-in, “but you should be putting them in here,” you hold the paper next to the right plug-in post to compare the two.

you look up to see his jaw tense up once again as he nods at you stiffly. “i guess you’re right. how do you even know this stuff?” he mumbles, earning a victorious smile from you. “i studied cinematography for 4 years. i also learned how to install cables there. see, i would’ve told you earlier if you had asked. but you were too busy bragging about all your 9 million subscribers or whatever. anyway, i’ll be in my room if you need me.”

it’s 7pm when you hear a knock on your bedroom door. you look up from the box you were digging through and towards the door and answer, “you can come in.”

the door opens slightly to reveal simon holding a bag of more takeout. “so i noticed you eating chinese during lunch and didn’t know what other kind of food you liked so i just ordered us some takeout.” you laugh, making him look at you confusedly. “why did you order me chinese?”

he blinks, taken aback, “oh, uhm, i can just order us something else if that’s what you want. if you’d rather have, like, i don’t know, pizza? or anything, i don’t mind ordering-“

“that’s not what i meant, simon,” you look at him sternly and let him think over your words for a few seconds, watching the realisation hit him through his facial expression.

“right. i just wanted to say thank you for helping me earlier and sorry for accidentally walking in on you as well, i guess,” he answers awkwardly.

“and?” you smirk, liking the fact that you’re in control of the situation now. he sighs, “and sorry for pretty much being a dick the entire day without reason.”

“i accept your apology, roomie. now, let’s go eat before the food gets cold.”

about a week after moving in, your new apartment is almost fully finished and you and simon both agree on throwing a housewarming party. the two of you have had time to get to know each other better over the past few days and you’ve realised that a kind heart lies behind that stupid smirk of his. you just gotta make him feel guilty for being an absolute pain in the ass to reveal his sweeter side.

you’ve also learned that the two of you have loads of stuff in common and you seem to be hitting it off pretty well. except for the unexplainable tension the two of you have from time to time. you brush it off and blame it on your similar personalities clashing and competing for the title of the alpha in the house.

you snap out of your thoughts when you hear the front door open and simon yell “honey, i’m home!” you let out a giggle and get up from the couch to help him unpack the groceries for the party tonight.

“that’s... a lot of alcohol,” you laugh as he puts down several bags full of bottles onto the kitchen island.

he looks you in the eye and smiles, “there are going to be quite a few guests, remember? better too much than too little!”

you help him put the stuff away in silence for a few minutes before you attempt to start some small talk, “so how are you when you’re drunk?”

“i get really horny,” he answers within a heartbeat. instead of bursting out into laughter, you can feel your cheeks heat up and so you quickly turn your back to him, pretending to be putting something in one of the cupboards to hide your red face.

“oh, i-“ your breath catches in your throat and you can feel your blood stream through your veins when you suddenly feel simon’s presence right behind you. you turn around, biting your lip when you see him tower over you. he innocently smiles down at you, “well? are you going to move out of the way so i can put these chips away or what?”

you quickly close your mouth when you realise you were gaping up at him and move away from the cupboard when he gives you the space to do so.

“sorry about that. uhm, is it just me or is it getting hot in here? i think i’m just going to check the thermostat real quick,” you stutter out an excuse to leave the room, still feeling the blood pulse through your body in certain places.

you lock yourself in the bathroom and try to catch your breath. you can’t believe that just happened. you can’t believe you’re feeling this way about your roommate after meeting him just a week ago. you want this feeling to stop so you don’t ruin the small beginnings of the friendship you’ve only just started to create.

so you decide then and there that you’re going to shut him out. at least, in that way. you’re just going to ignore the sudden attraction you feel towards him. well, you’re going to try to.

it’s around 11pm when the first people start showing up. you and simon entertain your guests with tours of the house, beer pong, music playing loudly on the dance floor created in the living room and enough booze in the kitchen to pass out from. you don’t hold back on the alcohol yourself either.

“vik! oh my gosh i cannot thank you enough for messaging us about this place. this truly is all thanks to you,” you greet him with a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. he smiles at you brightly, “no thanks needed! i just felt like you and simon would be a perfect fit!” he grins and you try to shake off the stupid smile forming on your lips. “thank you again vik, please help yourself to something to drink in the kitchen! i’ll try to catch up with you later.”

after the next hour of greeting guests your house is fully loaded with people and it’s going to be a lot harder to move around in. abandoning your hosting duties at the front door, you go to grab yourself another drink in the kitchen when you bump into an old friend. “harry! hey! when did you get here?”

you can tell just by the look on his face that he has been here for a while: he looks absolutely shit-faced. “i don’t remember, to be quite honest,” he slurs out his answer, making you giggle a little. “what are you doing here? i didn’t know you knew simon,” he asks and you raise your brows. “i’m literally living with simon. this is our housewarming party!” harry seems to be in thought for a moment before it all clicks, “oh! you’re the hot bird he said he was living with, it all makes sense now. hey, wanna dance?” he practically drags you over towards the dance floor when not only your vision, but also your thoughts get a little cloudy.

your mind wanders over all the reasons why simon could’ve said that to harry. what else did simon tell him about you? does he usually describe his girl friends as ‘hot birds’? does this mean he is as attracted to you as you are to him? lost in your thoughts about simon, you barely even realise the fact that you’re grinding against harry.

when you open your eyes the room is spinning. you blink a few times until you can see clear. only now you notice simon standing across the room looking at you, jaw tensed as always, nostrils flaring and steam practically leaving his ears. still oblivious to your close proximity to harry, you eye him with a frown on your face.

you can see simon roll his eyes and disappear into the crowd so you decide to just ignore him, like you promised yourself you’d do. you continue dancing to the blaring music, swaying your hips dangerously from left to right. you finally remember harry dancing behind you when he grabs your sides and pulls you even closer. you lean into his touch, your head pretty much on his shoulder. you close your eyes, letting yourself get lost in the music.

after a while, you can feel yourself get tired and tell harry you’re going to get yourself another drink, leaving him on the dance floor.

suddenly getting overwhelmed by the huge crowd in your living room, you make a beeline for your bedroom instead. you close the door behind you, still feeling the bass of the music in your body but only hearing muffled lyrics being sung.

you sigh and make your way over to the bed to lie down for a second. you’re so intoxicated and don’t know what to do with yourself. that is, until someone barges into the room.

you sit up straight and see simon at the door, looking at you angrily. “what the hell are you doing in my room?” your eyes widen when you take in your surroundings. “shit, i thought- thought this was my room,” you stammer and stand up quickly, a little to quickly: your knees give in and you stumble to the floor. “fuck,” you groan, simon immediately coming over to help you up. “how many have you had to drink? christ, you can barely stand up,” he shakes his head in disappointment.

“i don’t- don’t remember. what about you? are you horny yet?” you ask him in a sudden boost of confidence.

he once again shakes his head in disappointment, biting his lip at but ignoring your comment. “we should probably send everyone home now, i think the party is over.”

you sit back down on his bed and pout. “you’re no fun! it’s only- it’s barely 1 am! right?” you slur out, looking at the blurry numbers of the alarm clock on his bedside table.

“it’s 3 am. i think it’s best if we send everyone home-“ you cut him off, “but harry is- he’s still waiting for me out there. i- i told him i’d be back.”

this immediately gets a reaction from simon: tensed jaw, narrowed eyes and crossed arms. “you’re not getting back out there. especially not to dance with harry,” he spits out his name in disgust, making you giggle, “hey, hey what’s up with that? i thought you were friends?”

simon rolls his eyes while he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “i don’t want to talk about harry right now. just- stay here for a sec and i’ll-“ he is about to open the door when you cut him off. “wait wait wait! did i just hear... jealousy? in your voice?” you bat your eyelashes at him innocently while he grits his teeth.

“no, i-“ he tries, but you cut him off once again, standing up when you speak. “it sure sounds like jealousy to me! what, you didn’t like it when i was dancing with harry, huh?” you slowly make your way over to him, continuing your innocent act.

“is that it? you’d rather have been the one who was dancing with me? the ‘hot bird’ you’re living with? right? harry told me that’s what you called me. i bet you still think about that first time you saw me-“

“shut up! we’re not having this conversation right now. you’re- you’re not able to think straight right now,” he frowns, yet his cheeks still redden when you get close to him. you smirk and touch his chest with both of your hands.

“maybe not, but jealous you is like... really turning me on right now,” you bite your lip coyly and look up at him through your lashes.

you leave him breathless for a second as he rolls his head back for a second, slightly gasping for air. “you know what you’re doing to me, don’t you? you’re making it very hard for me to control myself right now,” he licks his lips and his eyes flicker between your eyes and your mouth.

“then stop trying to fight it, simon. i want you,” you drag out your words slowly. at this, he switches positions with you and pins you down against the door, foreheads touching.

“stop saying things that make me want to kiss you,” he mutters to you, breathing heavily.

you finally close the space between you and kiss him harshly. after a few seconds, you gasp for air and he leaves your lips to work his way around your neck, locking the door whilst doing so. “simon,” you moan, throwing your head back as he trails kisses down your neck. once again, you feel your blood and the bass from the music pulse through your body. “fuck,” you trail off as his hands roam your body. you meet his lips again in one of many heated kisses that’ll follow that night.

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junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [twelve]

Tastes of Freedom

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: 5913

Warnings: studying, exams, fluff, smut, food mentions

A/N: only a 7 week break between updates this time!! getting better!! maybe?? idk im sorry lmao. as always pls pls let me know what you think i literally live for comments and feedback even if its just a keysmash and some emojis!!

Add yourself to my taglist(s)

Updates: listen i am not in control of this don’t ask me

This is what happens when i’m left unsupervised

Tom laughed under his breath as he read the caption of your Snapchat - a picture of a pile of flashcards on your bed, a cup of tea in your hand in the bottom right corner of the image. He just replied with an eye roll emoji as he tossed his bag into the passenger seat of his car, setting his phone down on top of it before he started to drive home.

He’d gone to the gym in an effort to take his mind off revision, but he’d had to put his phone on airplane mode because he kept stopping to text you and not actually doing anything. Which, normally, he wouldn’t have minded, but he’d driven all the way there so it seemed a bit pointless if he was just going to go in, text while walking on the treadmill, and then go home. And besides, he hadn’t been exercising a lot lately, besides a run or two with Tessa over Christmas, and rugby training would be starting back up again soon so he figured he had better get back to it. Plus, he did actually enjoy it; it made him feel good about himself, stronger, more refreshed - physically and mentally, which was something he definitely needed after all this studying.

So, once he’d actually gotten into it he’d had a good workout, and was feeling pretty good. His first exam on Monday had gone well, and he only had one more to do on Friday morning. You were also halfway through, having sat your first paper that afternoon. You were supposed to be taking the evening off to give your brain a break before your next and final exam on Friday, just giving yourself a rest really. It didn’t seem to be going that well though, judging by the texts you’d been sending wondering if you shouldn’t just go over some flashcards or just read over your notes or just something, and without Tom replying telling you to just chill out you’d apparently decided to go with flashcards. Which was fine, if that was what you wanted to do, but you’d said quite a few times that you were going to take the evening after your first exam off so you didn’t overload your brain, so it seemed to Tom like studying flashcards wasn’t really how you wanted to spend your evening.

The thought played on his mind as he drove off campus, and he wondered if maybe your message was your way of asking for supervision. He could do that - plus, the protein shake he was drinking wasn’t really cutting it in terms of satiating his appetite, so perhaps he could convince you to get a takeaway or something. So, after a quick check in the mirror to see how sweaty he looked - not too bad, considering - he drove to your house instead of his own.

It occurred to him as he was hovering outside to your front door (after spraying himself liberally with the deodorant he kept in his gym bag) that your bedroom was on the top floor, and judging by your Snapchat that’s where you were, so it was unlikely that you would be the one to answer. He debated whether to text you and say he was outside, but it was too late for that now, he’d already knocked, so all he could do was hope that whichever one of your housemates answered would recognise him. If they didn’t, what would he say? He took another big gulp of his protein shake as he waited - just for something to do more than anything - swallowing harshly when the door swung open.

Thankfully, it was Liv who answered - and he knew she would recognise him, seeing as she was always in his house. Not that he talked to her very much, but he saw her often enough when they crossed paths on the way to/from the bathroom. She looked a bit more… frazzled than she normally did though, her hair escaping from a messy bun that had migrated from the top of her head to somewhere near her ear, and an enormous fluffy dressing gown engulfing her entire body.

“Oh hey,” she smiled tiredly, stepping back to let him in. “She’s upstairs.”

“Thanks,” Tom murmured, trying not to hit her with his gym bag as he squeezed past her into the hallway.

Liv just nodded in reply before going back into the living room, and Tom thought he heard her say his name just before the door swung shut behind her. As he made his way up the stairs to your room, his calves beginning to burn by the time he reached the second flight, he wondered why you complained about his house being so cold - yours was just as bad. No wonder you wanted to steal his hoodies.

Tom knocked on your bedroom door once he reached the top floor, pushing it open after you answered with a rather distracted sounding ‘ yeah?’. He was greeted by the pleasant, if a little overwhelming, scent of vanilla coming from the candle burning on your bedside table. Your room was also considerably warmer than it was out on the stairs, he noted as he entered the room, so maybe he took back his previous comment.

You were sitting cross-legged on your bed, leaning back against the headboard and looking down at the cards in your hands, not bothering to look up to see who was coming into your room.

“Hey…”

Your head jerked up at the sound of Tom’s voice, your emotions showing plainly on your face - confusion, then recognition, then confusion again. You smiled as you sat up straighter, lowering the cards in your hands onto the bed.

“Hello?” you watched him as he dropped his bag at the foot of your bed and shut the door behind him. “You...what?”

Tom smiled as he sat down on the edge of your bed beside you. You looked very cute, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt with a pair of fluffy socks on your feet, and he would very much like to kiss you. Were you at that stage, he wondered? A hello-kiss stage? When he sat down you had sort of leaned towards him, so he took that as an opening.

“Thought I’d come and supervise you,” he twisted to face you more as he spoke, leaning across your crossed legs.

“Oh,” you smiled against his lips before they met yours softly. “Okay. Hi.”

“Hey,” Tom murmured between kisses, pulling back after the third (or maybe it was the fourth, he wasn’t counting). “How’s your night off going, then?”

You both looked down at the pile of flashcards between you as you sighed.

“It was going okay -” You broke off when Tom looked at you skeptically “- it was! But Liv and Mads started revising in the living room ‘cause they’ve got an exam tomorrow and it was stressing me out so I came up here to try and chill…”

You gestured to the candle on the cabinet and your laptop beside you on the bed, the screen dimmed on the Netflix homescreen, sighing. “...and then, I dunno, I just keep thinking how annoyed I’ll be if like, something comes up and it’s like ‘oh I was gonna look over that but I couldn’t be arsed so I didn’t’, you know?”

He did know, sort of anyway, so he nodded.

“Makes sense.”

“I’ve still got all day tomorrow and Thursday though, so like I want to take tonight to do nothing, but I got bored and…” you trailed off, lifting up a flashcard in lieu of finishing your sentence.

“I see,” Tom nodded. “Well, do you wanna watch a movie or something? Or I can go - sorry I should have asked before coming over-”

“No!” you reached out and put your hand on his knee, stopping him from going anywhere (not that he was really that set on leaving anyway). “No, you’re fine - it’s fine. Stay.”

“You sure?”

“Mmhmm, yeah. Movie sounds good. Though, actually…”

Tom raised an eyebrow at you questioningly, humming for you to continue.

“Would you mind testing me on some stuff first?”

“Sure - these?”

You nodded when Tom gestured to the cards scattered across the bed, so he gathered them up into a pile while kicking off his trainers.

“You’re not allowed to laugh if I pronounce stuff wrong,” he warned, lying back on the bed and holding the cards above his head.

“I promise.”

You ended up going through pretty much all of your cards - or at least all the ones you had out, Tom wouldn’t have been surprised if you had more stacks elsewhere - and you knew everything on them except for a few tiny little details, so why you were even stressing was beyond him. You were all huffy and frowny about anything you didn’t get, which was cute, reaching out to take the card from him to read it over before asking him to put it to the back of the pile to come back to at the end. After a little while you lay down too, your head resting on his stomach and your feet propped up on your pillows, which meant he could peek under the cards at you when you scrunched up your face while you thought about his questions, staring at the sloping ceiling like it held the answers. It wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind for coming over, but it was nice to spend time with you all the same - especially having you lying on him like this. The only trouble was he was getting hungrier and hungrier, and his stomach was not being quiet about it.

“Yep, I think you got it all - sorry,” he groaned, cringing when his tummy rumbled for the third time in the time it took to go through your last two flashcards.

“S’okay,” you looked up at him as you spoke, laughing softly. “You hungry?”

“Yeah, sorry, haven’t eaten yet.”

“Me neither,” you shook your head, yawning as you sat up. “Can’t be arsed making anything though.”

Tom sat up too, propping himself up on his elbows and setting your cards down on the bed.

“Wanna get a takeaway?”

You looked over your shoulder at him, your eyes practically shining as you grinned.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes please,” you nodded enthusiastically, until your eyes went wide and you gasped. “Oooh or we could go to McDonalds?”

“Drive through?”

“Obviously.”

Tom considered your proposal for approximately 0.003 seconds before he nodded back, sitting up. “Sounds good to me.”

With that you got up and grabbed a familiar looking hoodie off the back of your chair and pulled it on, shoving your phone and purse into the pocket. You tried to put a pair of trainers on while Tom did the same, but unfortunately they didn’t fit over your fluffy socks, so you were forced to change to a much less cosy pair of regular trainer socks, and less than five minutes later you were in the car on the way to 24 hour McDonalds (after running back up the stairs to blow out your candle).

You talked the whole way there, pausing only to order and pay (Tom tried to pay but you leant over and tapped your card against the reader before he had a chance). You talked while you waited for your order, you talked while you parked up in the almost empty car park (10:30pm on a Tuesday was clearly not their prime time), you talked while you ate - about exams, about your night out plans for Refreshers week next week, about Tessa (Tom’s personal favourite subject), about anything and nothing and everything in between. You talked on the way home (after a second trip through the drive through because Liv texted you while you were eating so you had to get a McFlurry and a Happy Meal for her and Madison), until you were parked up outside your house and Tom had to regretfully decline your invitation to come back in. He wanted to, he really did, but he knew he’d fall asleep and he had work in the morning - he’d managed to get most of his shifts covered to give himself time for exams and hangovers over this week and next, except this one - so he was forced to bid you goodnight after a goodbye kiss (or five or six goodbye kisses) in his car.

The next two days went by in a flurry of cramming and stressing, but before long Friday afternoon rolled around, bringing with it the sweet relief of freedom - for both you and Tom. Exams done and dusted, gone in a matter of hours after weeks of work, the plan going forwards for this: chill, go for a celebratory Nandos, possibly nap (definitely nap), then get ready and go out to the End of Exams party at the SU. Step one (‘Chill’) was well underway - for Tom, at least, who was lounging quite comfortably on your bed while you shoved your revision notes into boxes and files so you never had to look at them again.

“My back is killing me,” you groaned, sitting up straighter in your desk chair and rolling your shoulders back until they clicked. “Might go for a massage as post-exam treat.”

“I could give you a back massage?”

You laughed but didn’t reply, just turned back to what you were doing at your desk.

“No seriously,” Tom continued, looking up from where he was scrolling aimlessly through Instagram on his phone. “If you want - I mean I’m not a professional but I’ll give it a go.”

You laughed again, but spun your chair around to face him this time. “Okay, sure.”

Tom moved to let you sit down on the edge of the bed, setting his phone aside and kneeling behind you once you were settled. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to do, but like he said, he’d give it a go. Sitting back on his heels, he began to rub your shoulders, working your muscles with the pads of his thumbs. You rolled your shoulders back again as he massaged them, cracking your neck to each side with a sigh.

After an indeterminate amount of time - time had a weird habit of going both too fast and too slow when he was touching you, Tom had come to realise - you twisted your arm behind your back, gesturing between your shoulder blades with your hand.

“Can do you like, this bit?”

“Sure,” Tom thought for a moment, paused, then swallowed harshly before continuing. “Probably easier if you uh, lie down and like...takeoffyourbra.”

“Oh you think?” you laughed, looking over your shoulder at him.

“Just a suggestion,” Tom shrugged, putting on his most innocent smile.

“Fine.”

You sighed as you rolled your eyes, reaching behind you to unhook the clasp of your bra. Watching you intently as you wiggled out of your bra without taking your top off like some sort of circus performer, Tom shuffled down the bed to give you room to reposition, kneeling beside you once you lay down on your front. His fingers brushed over yours as he helped you push your t shirt up to expose your back.

“Do you have any, like, I dunno-” he began as he ran his hands over your back, stopping when you cut him off.

“Are you about to ask me if I have any massage oils?”

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, your cheek pressed to your pillow as you lay with your head to the side. Tom didn’t know quite what to say, feeling his face heat up as the seconds ticked by.

“Uhh…”

“Why would I have massage oil?” you laughed, shaking your head (though your head movements were pretty restricted given your position).

“I dunno…” he shrugged, laughing too when he thought it through, hearing it how you would have heard it and realising it was a pretty bizarre think to ask. What did he think you were, a masseuse?

“I have body lotion on my dresser though?”

“Right, okay, that works.”

Scrambling off the bed, Tom made his way over the chest of drawers on the opposite side of the room. He scanned over the bottles and tubs sitting on the surface, trying to decipher which one might be most appropriate. After a moment he settled on one in a rather large bottle with a pump dispenser, ‘Smoothie Star Deep Moisture Milk’ printed on the front along with a picture of a milkshake - or perhaps it was a smoothie, given the name of the product. Either way it seemed like it would do the job, and according to the label it had an “irresistible scent” so that was promising.

Definitely not noticing that he could kind of see the outline of your underwear through your leggings now that your top was no longer covering your bum, Tom climbed back onto the bed and set your moisturiser down on your bedside cabinet. He knelt by your side for a moment, before deciding to just go for it and swing one of his legs over yours, careful to support most of his weight as he sat atop your thighs. Reaching over, he pumped a generous amount of ‘body milk’ (which now he thought about it didn’t really sound all that pleasant) into his hand, rubbing his palms together to try and warm it up a little before he touched you.

“Sorry s’cold,” he murmured as he started to rub it into your skin, hearing your breathing hitch slightly.

“S’okay.”

Your voice was a little muffled, your face pressed more firmly into the pillows as your body relaxed, but he heard you well enough. He started to massage the area you’d asked him to do, varying the pressure of his fingers and thumbs as they worked your muscles, sliding smoothly over your skin. You sighed contentedly as he continued his work, moving up to your shoulders, then back down to do between your shoulder blades again, until the majority of the lotion had been absorbed into your skin.

Tom was trying very, very hard to concentrate on what his hands were doing, he really was, but the thing was that your skin was very soft and warm, and the scent of the body lotion really was quite nice. He wasn’t sure if he’d go as far as irresistible but it was sweet and comforting - almonds, oats, and brown sugar, apparently, he saw when he squinted to read the label. In any case the whole experience was quite pleasant, and your thighs were warm and firm underneath him, and then he moved his hands to massage your sides and accidentally-maybe-a-little-bit-on-purpose touched the side of your breast, and he became rather more aware of other, lower parts of his body. Oh no.

His eyes flicked to your face to gauge your reaction - if you didn’t react, or looked uncomfortable, he’d stop and go back to your shoulders. He could only see the side of your face, and your eyes were closed, but he was fairly sure there was a flicker of a smirk on your lips, so he figured he could test the waters a little. You must have known this was a possibility though, surely? Surely it had occurred to you that a backrub might not be 100% innocent? Not that that had been his intention, but still, he was only human.

Tom’s hands moved down to your hips and then inwards, his thumbs working into the small of your back. You hummed appreciatively, which was encouraging, so he shuffled further down your legs as his hands traveled lower and lower until they were on your ass, and he could have sworn you pushed back against him. Tom squeezed your bum, gently at first and then a little firmer, his thumbs tucked under your cheeks. You hummed again, but this time there was definitely something more than just appreciation for a good back rub in there, so he leant down and pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder, then another to your neck, nudging your bunched up t shirt aside with his chin. He watched your face as you smiled, sighing. You began to shift beneath him, his hands moving to hold your hips loosely as you turned onto your back.

“Better?” he mumbled against your lips before you kissed him, your fingers weaving into his hair as you pulled his face down to yours.

You just hummed into the kiss, so he took that as a yes, and moved one hand up to your breast. Slipping beneath your t shirt, his hand kneaded your breast firmly, feeling your nipple hardening beneath his palm. You whimpered softly into his mouth when he pinched it between his fingertips, his tongue dipping into your mouth as your jaw slackened.

Grinding against you as you kissed, Tom moaned at the sensation of his hardening cock rubbing up against you, even through his clothes. His lips left yours as he moved to kiss down your neck and chest, pushing up the front of your top to expose your body.

He sucked your right nipple into his mouth while his hand continued to play with your other breast, rolling his tongue over it until it was firm between his lips. You whined, and he was very thankful that he managed to open his eyes and look up just in time to see you biting your bottom lip, your eyes fluttering shut. He switched his hand and his mouth then, his fingertip tracing small circles over your damp nipple while he covered the other with his tongue, sucking it into his mouth until you whined again, tugging on his hair.

Scattering kisses across your stomach as he went, Tom continued his way down your body, his hands tugging down the waistband of your leggings and underwear together. Pulling them down, he moved down the bed until he was at the foot of your bed, helping you wiggle out of the tight material with a breathy laugh when it caught on your ankles.

Your leggings finally cast side, Tom knelt between your legs as you spread them open for him. His t shirt soon joined your leggings on the floor before he lay down, his fingertips brushing over your inner thighs as he pressed kisses to your hips. His hands and lips travelled down over your body, his middle finger slipping inside you as he sucked hard on the soft skin at the very top of your thigh. Searching for the spot he found last time, Tom twisted his wrist, curling his finger - and judging by your sharp intake of breath, he found it. Adding a second finger and crooking it at the same angle, he couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that spread across his lips - but with his face buried between your thighs, you wouldn’t have seen it anyway.

Your fingers toying gently with the tufts of hair at the nape of his neck as he worked, Tom took his time; flicking his tongue in firm circles, tracing long lines up and down, sucking and licking your clit while his fingers alternated between slowly pumping in and out of you and curling to stimulate that spot inside your walls. He savoured all your little moans and gasps, the twitching of your thighs, the tightening of your fingers in his hair, until:

“Oh fuck-”

Between your whimpered curse and the tension in your body, Tom knew you were about to come. He moved his hand faster, fucking you with his fingers until your back was arching, your hips jerking up as you squeaked out a moan, your walls clenching around his fingers as you came. He’d learnt by now that when he thinks he should stop he should actually keep going (and then stop), so he kept on moving his tongue in firm circles over your clit even once you stopped grinding against his mouth, your nails digging into the back of his neck as your orgasm continued to shudder through your body. He only slowed his fingers down once you began to relax, your hands leaving his hair as you let out a long, deep breath. Tom tilted his face to the side, kissing your thigh softly as he looked up at you, your eyes just blinking open and your teeth releasing your bottom lip from between their grasp.

Your hands rubbed his shoulders as he moved back up your body, giggling when he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he kissed you. His arms bracketed your head as you kissed, supporting his weight over you as he lay between your legs. You cupped his face with one hand, the other trailing down his torso to undo his jeans. Tom sighed in a mixture of pleasure and relief when you pulled his boxers down enough to free his cock, your hand beginning to pump his length. Your thumb brushed over the head with each movement, his sensitive skin tingling beneath your touch. He tilted his head to the side as you moved to kiss his neck, sucking just hard enough to leave a mark just below his jawline. He had just about been able to stop himself thrusting into your hand up until then, but if you were going to be doing that, or nibbling on his earlobe, or moving your other hand from his cheek down to squeeze his ass, then he could hardly be blamed if he pressed his body closer to yours, your fingers tightening around his cock as he thrust into your hand. Your hand on his bum was pulling him closer to you anyway, so he didn’t have a choice, really.

It wasn’t long you both wanted, needed more, though, so with swollen lips and heavy breaths Tom off you to take his jeans off, pressing one more firm kiss to your lips before he did so. You sat up and took a condom from your bedside cabinet while he discarded his jeans and boxers, passing it to him once he was back kneeling between your thighs. He always felt like he had to fight the urge to say thanks when he took a condom from you, which didn’t really make any sense, like you needed it as much as he did? But anyway, this was not the time to ponder the proper etiquette of receiving condoms - you had one, it was now in situ, so he had more important things to think about.

Tom groaned as he eased into you, kissing your neck as you lay with your head nestled among the pillows, your legs spread open wide. He pushed into you slowly, gradually getting deeper with each thrust in and out until he was about to bottom out inside you. Looking down between your bodies to watch, he pulled out almost completely then pushed all the way back in, feeling your breath hot on his skin when you moaned.

Your fingers threaded through his hair once he was settled over you again, pulling him closer. You kissed his neck as his hips ground against yours, moving to suck just above his collarbone when he began to thrust steadily into you. Your teeth nipped at his skin, your tongue soothing the sting as his cock hit deep inside you with each jerk of his hips.

Squeezing your breast with one hand while the other held your waist, Tom dipped his head, burying his face in the crook of your neck. He started to kiss your neck, but you all but panted his name in his ear and tugged on his hair, so he ended up kissing your lips instead. All roaming tongues and smacking lips, you kissed messily, you whimpering into his mouth when he shifted the angle of his hips and hit deeper inside you. Your bodies weren’t positioned quite right for him to carry on hitting that angle, though, so he was forced to pull away from your hungry kiss and get to his knees (glancing behind him as he went so he didn’t hit his head on your stupid slanted ceiling).

Your arms fell either side of your head as it dropped back into the pillows, bending your knees to adjust to the new position, his legs slotting into place under your thighs. His hands gripping your waist, pulling you down onto him to meet each thrust of his hips, Tom looked down at you through heavy lids, watching your face, your body. Your mouth hung open slightly as you gasped out quiet ohs and fucks each time he thrust into you, your brow furrowed in pleasure and your breasts bouncing under your t shirt with every jolt of your bodies, your back arched as you gripped the pillow behind your head. Every now and then he reached down, his thumb brushing back and forth over your swollen clit.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, your pussy pulsating around his cock as he rubbed your clit.

He was close, he knew, but thankfully he knew that you were too. You bit down on your bottom lip and looked up at him with almost pleading eyes as you lifted your legs higher still, bringing your knees closer to your chest as Tom shifted to lean down into you more. His fingers dug into your thighs as he held your legs up at your sides, one of your hands reaching down between your bodies to replace his, your fingers working your clit. The bed creaked under you as Tom thrust into you hard and fast, forcing himself to keep his eyes open to watch you come apart beneath him. You released your lip from between your teeth as you came with a heavy moan, your thighs shaking under his palms and your walls clenching around his cock - and that was it, he couldn’t hold out any longer. Eyes squeezing shut, he groaned as he came, slowing down his thrusts to a steady grinding inside you to try and draw out both your highs.

Doing his utmost not to collapse on top of you, Tom shifted to rest his weight on his forearms as he kissed your neck, breathing heavily. You wiggled under him, lowering your legs slowly either side of his hips as you smoothed stray hairs back away from your face.

“What?” he mumbled against your shoulder when he heard you breathe out a laugh. Tiredness tugged at every one of Tom’s muscles, but he mustered up the strength to pull up and out of you, falling down onto his back once you’d shuffled to the side to make space on the bed beside you. “Why’d you laugh?”

“Just thinking- ” you mused, turning your head to look at him. “- interesting type of massage.”

“Yeah, well,” Tom chuckled, shrugging as he sat up. “Special clients only, you know?”

“I feel very privileged,” you smirked at him as he stood up to get rid of the used condom and its long-discarded wrapper.

Tom looked over his shoulder at you just as you were sitting up, pulling your t shirt down over your stomach and looking at the floor around your bed, presumably in search of your underwear.

“What sides are you getting?”

“Huh? Oh,” It took Tom a moment to catch up with the sudden change of subject, slightly preoccupied with cleaning himself up with a tissue at that precise moment. Truth be told, he’d kind of forgotten about your plans to go to Nandos. He was pretty tired anyway, after being up late last night cramming and then up early for his exam this morning which in itself was mentally tiring, and now this exertion of physical energy was more than enough to push him over the edge into nap territory - especially if he was going to go out tonight. But, you had been very excited about it, and he was quite hungry now that he thought about it, so he supposed he would make the effort. And now that he was thinking about it, he came to a decision as to which side dishes to get pretty quickly. “All of them?”

You nodded, seemingly satisfied.

“Good choice.”

Tom just about made it through driving to and from Nandos and eating without falling asleep, though driving back was significantly more taxing. On the way up to your room he grumbled internally about the decision to go back to yours - there were just too many stairs between the front door and bed for his liking - though he supposed it did make sense for both of you to get ready at yours. He’d only needed to bring like four things with him, whereas who knew what manner of equipment you’d need to get ready. And, as you were saying as you finally made it to your bedroom, you didn’t even know what you wanted to wear yet.

“What are your options?” Tom stifled a yawn as he took off his jacket, sitting down on your bed and kicking off his shoes.

“Ugh,” you sighed, throwing your own jacket on the back of your chair and opening your wardrobe. “I think these?”

You took out three dresses on hangers, holding each one up for him to see before tossing them onto your bed - or at least, he assumed they were dresses, but who knew, honestly. They all looked nice enough to him, and you always looked good anyway, so he asked what he considered to be the most sensible question:

“Which one is comfiest?”

You hummed, thinking for a moment before replying. “The black one.”

“Wear the black one then.”

You looked from the dresses (?) to Tom, then back again, then nodded.

“Okay,” you said decisively, bundling the clothes up in your arms and dumping them unceremoniously on your desk chair before wiggling out of your leggings. “That was easy, thanks.”

“No problem.”

Tom struggled to hold back another yawn as you closed your blinds, blocking out what remained of the daylight trickling through the window above your desk. Taking off his jeans and kicking them off the end of your bed, he shuffled over as you pulled back the duvet to get into bed beside him. Turning onto his side once he’d joined you under the covers, Tom smiled sleepily as you lay down facing him. He was pretty sure you smiled back, equally sleepily, but he hardly saw it, his eyes already closing without his consent nor permission. He felt like he was about to say something, but he couldn’t remember quite what it was, and he was falling asleep now, quicker than even he expected. Never mind, he resolved, if it’s important it’ll come back to me later - later...later! That was it, he was thinking should probably set an alarm so the two of you didn’t sleep too late and miss predrinks or something disastrous like that.

“What time-”

“Shhhhh!”

Tom opened one eye to see you shaking your head, your eyes closed even as you reached out to blindly press a silencing finger to his lips (well, his nose first, but it was clear you were going for his lips).

“Nap now, words later.”

Okay then, he closed his eyes again, already feeling sleep pulling at his mind and body, nap now it is.

⋘ ELEVEN | THIRTEEN ⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff

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glassbxttles · 3 years

Text

Okay this isn’t a happy one, I’m sorry. It’s based off of this song ):

Word Count: 1,193

Warnings: there isn’t a happy ending

Won’t you turn around and please look at me?

For everything we are, everything we’ve been,

I promise I’ll be good if you stay with me.

You knew this was a long time coming. Daniel’s work stole him away from you— and you had let it happen. You put up every fight that you could and he promised he’d be home more, take care of you, put your relationship first.

But you knew that each word held an empty promise and the weight of paper clips. You knew each morning when you kissed him goodbye that the love wasn’t there anymore. That it wouldn’t be again. Not like before.

But everything we are it just went away,

With the slide of a tongue and a sour taste,

I can not recall, I can explain.

Daniel knew it too. Would sit at his desk and think about how he’d come home to an empty apartment one day, no trace of you left besides your memories. Maybe you’d leave that picture, under the cherry blossoms. Give him something to keep close— the one he let get away.

But I remember the nights when you’d lie with me,

Where we’d talk, and we’d touch, and we’d fall asleep,

I wake up in your arms and I feel at ease,

It’s gonna be a long night.

You had woken up that morning, dread building in your stomach. You hadn’t even had the decency to tell him. You didn’t have the heart. You packed his lunch, wrote an I love you note— stained with a tear— and you’d kissed him on his way out the door.

But he knew. He knew all day that today was the day. The feeling in his gut he couldn’t shake. He knew on his drive. He knew on the walk into the building. He hung his head in his hands for a moment, elbows perched on the desktop. How could he have fucked up, so badly?

I still have your shirt in my dresser drawer,

The one with the stripes that you liked in store,

Oh everything has changed, I wanted more.

You both wanted so much from each other. You wanted Daniel— all of Daniel. You weren’t thinking of his job or of his inability to put anything before it when you fell in love with him. You were thinking of those silly movie nights and the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled. You thought of the way it took him a thousand years to pick out new shirts to buy. You thought about the way he’d show you his newly bought slacks and ask you if they looked nice.

You packed away that white t-shirt. The one he wore the first night you slept over— he wouldn’t miss it. But you would. You’d miss him. His smell. His heart. Your good times were so so good. But you knew this had to happen. He wouldn’t change.

Daniel wanted you to be okay with him. To be safe and sound. He wanted to call you at noon and see your pretty face waiting at the cafe for lunch. He wanted more of those goodnight kisses— and he could only blame himself for not having them.

Oh how it’s raining,

Oh how the water falls,

Into the safe things,

We tried to set in stone.

I can’t replace you,

I can’t escape you, now.

And you were loading your bags into your sister’s car. Saying your last goodbye to the place you’d called home for years. Saying your last goodbye to the life you could have had with Daniel. If only you two would have tried a little harder.

And Daniel was shoving files into his bag, hurrying to his car. He’d figure this out. He’d fight for you. He loved you, goddamn it. And he wasn’t letting him be the reason you two fell.

But you were gone when he walked through the door, his bag falling off his shoulder. The entire apartment wiped clean of the years you’d spent together. The walls looked darker, the cheer was gone. And Daniel felt tears welling up as he heard each raindrop of the storm coming in hit the window pane.

But I remember the night when you’d lie with me,

Where we’d talk, and we’d touch, and we’d fall asleep,

I wake up in your arms and I feel at ease.

Daniel remembers last night, lying over your body and holding both your hands to the pillows as he kissed your neck, whispered sweet nothings as his hips brought you closer and closer to that high you’d needed.

He remembers you telling him you loved him. He remembers the tears on your cheeks. And he had some of his own. He ignored them last night. Somewhere deep in him knew it was your last night together, and if he was just a little bit better, maybe you’d stay. Maybe he’d change.

But now it’s just me and I lie awake,

And I toss and I turn and I see your face,

When I wake from a dream it won’t go away.

And Daniel did. He lied there night after night, unsure of how to move on. Knowing he’d made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

You did leave that picture— and a sticky note that said I love you. He woke up to it every night, that and an empty bed.

And you? You were healing. You were trying. You wouldn’t tell anyone you slept in that t-shirt every night, or that you hadn’t changed your homescreen from Dan’s face yet. You would in time. But you weren’t ready. Not after all of these years. You just couldn’t erase him from your life. But oh did you try to erase yourself from Dan’s.

Oh it’s gonna be a long night.

Daniel cried, he screamed, he broke things. He cursed his own name so hard he could’ve been struck down right there. He was a shell of a man, going through the motions.

Work was empty, home was empty, his bed was empty.

He didn’t get to hear your voice or see your face. He’d never hear I love you from you again— especially after he deletes that voicemail. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet.

Part of him wanted to let go, knowing you deserve better. But part of him needed you. Like the sun needs the moon. And he was proud of himself, for not contacting you. For letting you get away from him.

But once after one too many drinks, he was on your sister’s doorstep, drunkenly stumbling up the stairs and knocking on the door— tears streaming down his face.

And maybe you let him in, maybe you nursed his impaired mind on the couch. Let him cry it out. Maybe you kissed his forehead and brushed his hair back until he fell asleep, knowing you’d tell him no in the morning. You couldn’t.

But he didn’t need that right now. He needed you. And as much as you didn’t want this— he knew whose shirt that was and that maybe you needed him too.

@sacklerscumrag @mrs-zimmerman @d-dark-thoughts-girl @fizzywoohoo @candycanes19 @safarigirlsp

#this broke my heart #idk if it’s any good but my heart strings are torn #daniel jones x reader #Daniel Jones #daniel x reader #I’m sorry to dan #also to you ):#Spotify

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glassbxttless · 3 years

Text

Daniel Jones x Reader

Summary: you leave dan ): (it’s based off the song below)

Word Count: 1,193

Warnings: there’s not really a happy ending.

Won’t you turn around and please look at me?

For everything we are, everything we’ve been,

I promise I’ll be good if you stay with me.

But everything we are it just went away,

With the slide of a tongue and a sour taste,

I can not recall, I can explain.

But I remember the night when you’d lie with me,

Where we’d talk, and we’d touch, and we’d fall asleep,

I wake up in your arms and I feel at ease,

It’s gonna be a long night.

I still have your shirt in my dresser drawer,

The one with the stripes that you liked in store,

Oh everything has changed, I wanted more.

Oh how it’s raining,

Oh how the water falls,

Into the safe things,

We tried to set in stone.

I can’t replace you,

I can’t escape you, now.

And Daniel was shoving files into his bag, hurrying to his car. He’d figure this out. He’d fight for you. He loved you, goddamn it. And he wasn’t letting him be the reason you two fell.

But I remember the night when you’d lie with me,

Where we’d talk, and we’d touch, and we’d fall asleep,

I wake up in your arms and I feel at ease.

But now it’s just me and I lie awake,

And I toss and I turn and I see your face,

When I wake from a dream it won’t go away.

And Daniel did. He lied there night after night, unsure of how to move on. Knowing he’d made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

You did leave that picture— and a sticky note that said I love you. He woke up to it every night, that and an empty bed.

Oh it’s gonna be a long night.

Daniel cried, he screamed, he broke things. He cursed his own name so hard he could’ve been struck down right there. He was a shell of a man, going through the motions.

Work was empty, home was empty, his bed was empty.

He didn’t get to hear your voice or see your face. He’d never hear I love you from you again— especially after he deletes that voicemail. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet.

But on after one too many drinks, he was on your sister’s doorstep, drunkenly stumbling up the stairs and knocking on the door— tears streaming down his face.

But he didn’t need that right now. He needed you. And as much as you didn’t want this— he knew whose shirt that was and that maybe you needed him too.

#daniel x reader #dan jones #daniel jones #daniel jones x reader #adam driver character #glassbxttless adcu #dan is trying really hard #he’s also really sorry #as am I

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lumiereandcogsworth · 3 years

Note

And Belle YOU KNOW I HAVE TO

hhhhHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! yes of course. i really go off here so i’m gonna save everyone the trouble and put it under the cut lmao. what can i say!! i love my girl

favorite thing about them: the way she sees the best in everything. in every situation. she’s been met with gawking and judgement and never being taken seriously her whole adult life and throughout all she saw it and said “i’m going to be even COOLER.” and she she kept reading, kept creating, kept expanding her mind, kept exploring and wandering and going out in public even when she knows everyone is just going to judge her. she’s just got such a good head on her shoulders and i love her so much. she’s got the biggest heart dude...

least favorite thing about them (but also kind of favorite thing part two): gosh i mean there isn’t really but i guess she can be pretty headass sometimes lmao. but she can’t help it!!!! she’s too curious and adventurous!!!! she HAS to jump into things headfirst or she’ll DIE and i respect that so it’s not really a least favorite thing it’s more like “oh belle you little rascal you!!!” gosh she’s just so brave like she really saw a whole ass beast and said “yeah one ticket to your finest dungeon please i do not want my father here thanks.” like GIRL. my brother and i got in an argument about her (because i get RILED UP and he KNOWS IT) and he said she could have just left him there for a bit and ran back to the village to get help. which SURE. i GUESS. but she wouldn’t be WHO SHE IS if she did that!!!! she loves SO MUCH and So DEEPLY that she wouldn’t allow her father to be there for more than absolutely necessary. she wanted him entirely out of the situation so she could figure it out herself. the beast was Taking A Prisoner. and belle simply saw herself as the better option, because if her papa isn’t safe and warm at home BELLE’S GONNA START SWINGING. okay. belle rant done thank you for listening.

favorite line: this isn’t a line but when she throws the snowball at adam. Yeah. but also when she returns while gaston is fighting adam and adam sees her and he’s like “BELLE!! YOU CAME BACK!!” and belle yells back “i tried to stop them!” like DUDE. idk it just gets me man. it wasn’t even a question in her head, of course she would come back. but they didn’t exactly have time or the emotional clarity to arrange her RETURN DATE & TIME when she ran off to go save her father. but belle knew, belle knew her heart belonged there, with him. and adam believed it too but he never allowed himself to think she could possibly feel the same. so she says “i tried to stop them,” as if saying “yes of course i’m back i’m here to help i’m here for you i will do everything i can to keep you safe right now.” and it’s A LITTLE MUCH FOR ME.

brOTP: her and lumiere, and her and plumette. honestly those four (including adam), double date icons. but yeah she finds a good friend in lumiere, and she finds a sister in plumette. and it’s all very excellent.

OTP: you’ll never guess!!!! yeah adam/belle i know it’s wild i never talk about them

nOTP: i actually haven’t seen any ships with her that i don’t like!! i’ve seen her with some of the other disney princesses, particularly with tiana, which is rad. i don’t ship but wow power couple. also her and plumette which i don’t personally ship but valid. so yeah nice job keeping belle in good ships (or at least keeping the bad ones Away From My Eyes). also i’m just now realizing people probably DO ship her with gaston. that aint it chief!!! gaston’s too far gone imo, and i don’t buy into the theory that if belle had given gaston the same chance she gave adam, they would have ended up together. that just?? what?? gaston and belle have nothing in common. adam, if you didn’t notice, is ALSO a huge nerd???? they’re nerds in love your honor. and also belle had people gawking at her appearance her whole life. gaston was never going to truly See Her, the way adam does.

random headcanon: when she was a tween/teen she’d often sneak out her window and climb up to the roof at night and just sit there and watch the stars for hours.

unpopular opinion: belle in the live action was NOT written poorly, emma watson did NOT do a terrible job, and she was NOT worse than the 1991 cartoon version of belle. everyone is entitled to their opinions but i fail to understand how people don’t see how lovely and badass she is. it just boggles my mind. she’s a kind, goofy, incredibly smart, inventive (literally), adventurous, and curious woman, and i don’t get how that doesn’t come through crystal clear, but hey. life goes on!

song i associate with them: you know, i actually haven’t found a song that is particularly BELLE. mercury by sleeping at last is an adam/belle song but the first part i feel like is particularly her! but that’s all i got !! i should find some stuff i’d love to make a playlist for her. hey how about girl on fire by alicia keys!!!! hell yeah that’s my girl. edit: i’m so DUMB. obviously the lakes by taylor swift!!! it’s adam/belle but it’s almost ENTIRELY belle’s pov!! gosh i adore that one.

favorite picture of them: i did a little better with belle but still couldn’t narrow down between three, so here you are:

the big one was my phone homescreen for a while lmao... i love she🥰

#THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !!!!!#thanks again. i love talking about my babe #belle

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koreanmadeingreece · 4 years

Text

Times when Jaebum was supposed to confess to me but didn't #1

Traveling with GOT7 while they were on tour was a hell of a ride, honestly. Pure chaos. And I'm not exaggerating. Being a part of the coordination team was a nightmare. Wrong lights, wrong timing and, hell, wrong clothes. But it was my job to make it work and show the best result to the people watching. They paid so much money for it. If it wasn't worth their time and resources, my job would have been a complete failure. And, of course, I had to make sure that the group was fine as well. That they wouldn't have any issues with what they were supposed to do. It was basically my job to direct people to do everything in their power just to get the best possible outcome.

Thankfully, the group trusted me. We had developed a great friendship back in Korea, so they had no issue talking to me and neither did I. Because, they were my friends, and we talked about almost everything.

The problem with all that was that I had a crush on Jaebum. Well, it was quite more than a simple crush, really. He was a person that felt special to me. I spent a lot of my time with him at work and we often went out or even had sleepovers without the others. But, nothing more than that. He had no feelings for me, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship by telling him mine. I also didn't want to make things weird at work, since it was a job I worked so hard to get and I wasn't willing to risk it.

Besides all that, he was the person I'd call when I was in trouble. He was also the person who helped me calm down, so the times I needed to call him just to fall asleep were quite a lot. But, at the tour, I couldn't. He had concerts and a ton of work. He needed to sleep more than I did, so I decided not to bother him for as long as the tour lasted.

One night, things had gotten tough. I was stressed. Maybe more than just stressed, if I wanted to be honest. I just tossed and turned around the bed, trying to stabilize my breath, but nothing was working. I tried getting up, I looked outside of my hotel room and saw the lights of Berlin. What a view, I thought, but even a city as beautiful as Berlin couldn't calm me down. So, I decided to text him. If he was asleep, he wouldn't reply and that would be the end of it. I wasn't going to bother him at all. I'd just call him, hear his voice for a few minutes and then fall asleep.

Me: "Hey, are you awake?" And that was it. I didn't want to wake him up, although I secretly wished his phone wasn't on silent mode.

Jaebum: "I am now. Is everything alright?" His phone wasn't on silent mode after all.

Me: "Sorry about that. Go back to sleep, you have a show tomorrow." I left my phone aside and returned to the window. I decided to look at the city lights a bit more and then try to sleep again. I had a show the next morning as well.

Not even five minutes passed and I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, it was him, standing right outside my door in his pyjamas and a blanket in hand.

"Jaebum, you have to perform tomorrow. Go back to your room."

"I'm sleeping over. I even brought a toothbrush for the morning, so go to bed."

"Wait, wh-"

"I'm sleeping next to you. Don't act like we haven't done this before."

"Yeah, but not on tour. We could get in trouble!" I really tried to stop him, but deep down I didn't actually want to, so it didn't work. That was how we ended up in my bed under a really soft blanket that he brought from home. I adored that blanket and was quite surprised that he had brought it at the tour. I really didn't want to know how many things he's brought with him or how much we're paying for his extra luggage.

"Now tell me. Did anything happen?" He asked as he was coming to lie next to me under that blanket.

"Nothing special. It's just the pressure is slowly getting to me, but don't worry about it. I just need you to talk to me for a while. Your voice is soothing. If you want to stop being an idol at some point of your life, you should have a radio station." I felt him coming closer to me, resting his head next to mine, his breath tingling my neck. His arm spread around my waist and rested on my stomach. We ended up spooning in my hotel room in the middle of the night, patiently waiting for someone to realize that he was not in his own room, but in mine.

The entire scenery was almost surreal, honestly. I couldn't believe that he dropped everything just to make me feel better, but there he was right beside me, doing everything in his power so that I could stay calm. He was quietly humming some of the songs that he knew I liked, which was the cutest thing anyone had ever done to me. Thankfully, I remembered to set an alarm quite early, so that he would be able to return to his room in the morning without anyone realizing he was gone. And that was how we fell asleep in each other's arms, waiting for the morning to come.

"Y/N, your alarm." I heard him but I didn't want to move. "You need to- ah, never mind I'll do it." And I felt him reach over to my nightstand for my phone. I opened my eyes and turned towards him.

"Is it morning already?"

"Yeah, it is. We have to get up eventually. And I need to get back to my room. But first, did you sleep well?"

"I did actually. I've told you that your voice is relaxing more times than you needed to hear."

"I know. I just like it when you say it." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and got up, getting ready to leave.

"Hey, don't forget your blanket," I said to him.

"I'm leaving it here since you'll call me tonight anyway. I shouldn't have to move it all the time. I could be seen. You should start thinking more about me and less about yourself, Y/N," he teased me and I laughed. "Oh, by the way, nice homescreen. You blind me drive me crazy... Are they lyrics from a song?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't know it though. You don't listen to that kind of music. But, hey, how did you see it?" As soon as I realized that he had seen his own lyrics in my phone, I lost it.

"I just turned off your alarm and it was there. You should really start locking your phone." He left, and I was trying to grasp what had just happened, but I couldn't. He was the perfect man, my perfect man. He was so close to me, but so far away at the same time. I just had to get used to the fact that we'd never be more than just friends, but also not just friends. We'd always be something in-between.

#got7 jaebum #jaebum fanfic #jaebum #Im jaebum #got7 jaebeom #im jaebeom #jaebeom #Got7 fanfic #Got7 fic #Fanfic #Fic #Kpop fanfic #Kpop fic #Times when Jaebum was supposed to confess to me but didn't 1 #I'm soft #I'm really soft

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onlyjihoons · 6 years

Text

diamond in the rough; p.j.h

request: anon asked: hello! can i please have a bestfriends to lovers imagine? angst but a happy ending hehe// wait! about my bestfriends to lovers request, i think i forgot to add the member hehe jihoon pleaseeee thanks again! have a nice day xx

a/n; i combined your request with an idea of mine, i hope you dont mind^^ special thanks to dain(@pinksausageduo) and tina(@whatabrightplace) for helping me out,, not forgetting allison(@pwjins), sarah(@day6euphoria), xuan(@hwinkinghwi)and rissa(@hwangminn)! y’all might not have helped much but it meant the world to me and rescued me from the ditch,, i love you guys

and im sorry iris @101mess i didnt manage to do up 10 fics:’)

starting line: “Don’t touch me.”

synopsis: you never believed in falling for your best friend, until one confesses, in the most shocking way possible

warnings: uhh mild language sliiight steam and nothing else everything’s at pg dw

genre: mafia!jihoon,, angst and fluff

masterlist//requests are open

"Hey babe," Jihoon slings his arm around your shoulder, "I heard the first class is Economics, and we have it together,"

You shrugged Jihoon's arm away, walking a few steps ahead of him, "Stop calling me babe, its annoying, and your stupid winkies would haunt me for it too." Jihoon. Your best friend since the 3rd year of middle school, your wingman, your #1 supporter. You were there with him since his awkward emo stage, and now that he became an extremely handsome individual. The friendship didn't change despite Jihoon looking better, but he has a hoard of girls, who named themselves winkies, chasing after him at his every whim. You didn't care much about them, since theyre chasing after false hope. But you were indeed afraid of them, you saw how they bullied a girl Jihoon helped out on her first day of school, and they only stopped when Jihoon intervened. Now, not that Jihoon was a fuckboy or anything, although the ambience he carries says otherwise. A true tsundere, Jihoon is more than he seems below his looks. Sometimes however, he could be cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and the opposite on some days. Knowing Jihoon's personality fairly well, you never phantomed that your best friend would fall for you. Jihoon had his fair share of pretty friends, and you just looked like someone to complement him in pictures. You did develop a crush on Jihoon during the first year you met him, but your hopes to only be crushed when Jihoon started gushing over the prettiest girl in the cohort. They did become an item eventually, but young Jihoon's heart to be broken only a week after finding out his girlfriend lost interest in him. He turned to you, his best friend, which resulted in movie night, accompanied by lots of ice cream. As the both of you grew, Jihoon's heart grew bigger for you as well. He seemed to realise that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not just visual beauty. You, his best friend, was there with him through thick and thin, better or worse. He slowly started to grow fond of the two dimples that adorned you when you smiled, and how attractive you were when you were extremely focused on a task. If anyone were to glance at Jihoon staring at you, the entire galaxy could be seen in his brown orbs, bursting with affection. What a pity, you couldn't see it.

And what you didn’t know, was Jihoon’s involvement with the 101 mafia.

The 101 mafia was notorious for money laundering, and gang fights. The neighbourhood you lived in was the 101’s turf, any other rival gang that went up against them will end up in shambles, and a free trip to the hospital.

You knew of the 101, but you didn’t really involve yourself in those matters(what an irony though, jihoon was your best friend) as your GPA was much more important than finding a boyfriend or getting into fights.

In school, Jihoon was the stellar student, straight As, cocoa hair in a neat but slightly dishivelled fashion, uniform neatly ironed. However, during his “duties”, school jihoon would be thrown in the gutter, the boy would sport a black leather jacket, milky white forehead exposed below his gelled up fringe. Having a black belt in taekwondo, Jihoon was one of 101’s most valuable assets.

Hence, many girls have their eyes on Mr. Sweet but Strong guy, including one of the leaders of the Fantagio mafia, Choi Yoojung.

Jihoon used to be part of the Fantagio mafia, until the mafia disbanded for a short while. They wanted Jihoon back, but he was in a much stronger mafia than their own. Yoojung was friends with Jihoon during his time in Fantagio, and inevitably caught feelings for the doe-eyed mafia member.

Alas, she couldn’t confess to him as Jihoon left Fantagio sooner than she expected, and the underlying feelings never left. She had made a point and a swear to herself that she would do anything to let Jihoon be single, even if it means to harm the people closest to him.

During economics class, Jihoon kept throwing playful winks at your direction, messing with both your mind and heart. You were used to it though, but Jihoon was exceptionally flirtatious today. You rolled your eyes at him, gesturing your finger to his textbook, mouthing "pay attention".

Jihoon did quite the opposite, dragging his table and chair beside you, then settling himself down with a plop.

"What are you doing?" You whispered, seeing a few classmates turning their head at the commotion.

"Shifting my seat to a more comfortable position," Jihoon shrugged, "It's really hot there, I don't like it."

"It's literally minus thirty degrees outside, Jihoon," You tried to direct your attention back to the economics textbook ,"stand outside if you want."

"Miss Y/N and Mr Jihoon, are you done?" Your economics teacher warned, tapping her book on the teachers' desk, "Leave your sweet talk outside of the classroom, not during my class."

You already feel a couple of glares directed at you, not because of your talking, but because of your interaction with Jihoon. There were quite a few winkies in your economics class, and they are constantly vying for the seat beside Jihoon. However, Jihoon being himself, he would always shift to the seat beside you, as the girls' faces would turn into a scowl. Today was no different, but worse when the teacher openly lectured both you and Jihoon as a pair.

You lowered your head in embarrassment, not wanting to face the wrath of Jihoon’s stupid winkies after class. Before you could shift your seat, a slip of paper was pressed underneath your textbook.

Don’t be too upset, hmm? I can’t bear to see my best friend like this:( I’ll wait for you in the music room during recess with waffles. And strawberry milk.

-JH

Your heart warmed at the message, your mood instantly lifted as you listened attentively for the rest of class.

“Dont stop me,” Yoojung seethed, as she pried Mark’s hand away from her shoulders.

“Hey, it’s not right to hurt someone because of your crush on Jihoon,” Mark reasoned, standing in front of her, “and what’s worse, she’s his best friend. Can you imagine how much he’s gonna hate you for hurting her? That’s just not putting the situation in your favour.”

“Do I look like I care?” Yoojung folded her arms, “I have been practically been with Jihoon since he was like fourteen and I know him better than she does.”

“Actually, she has known him since middle—“

“Ok, whatever.” Yoojung rolled her eyes, pushing the frail 127 mafia member out of her way, “I do what I want.”

Jihoon was a man of his words indeed, the boy was seated at the piano seat, two brown paper bags and two bottles of strawberry milk perched atop of the grand piano. Though, he wasn’t playing the piano. He was busy tapping on his mobile phone, presumably some mobile game he was involved in.

You creeped up to Jihoon, then thrusting your hands on his shoulders. The boy let out a yelp, nearly dropping his phone. When he saw that it was you, he placed his palm over his chest, scrunching his nose.

“You scared me,” Jihoon huffed, palm still clutching on his chest, “I thought you were one of the winkies or something.”

You shrugged, taking one of the paper bags and sitting beside Jihoon, “What game were you playing just now? You seemed engrossed.”

Jihoon’s eyes shifted, as he cleared his throat, “Uhh, Mobile Legends.”

“Really?” You quirked your eyebrows, reaching for his phone, “Teach me how to play, I wanna be a cool gamer dude like you too.”

Before you could touch his phone, Jihoon snatched his phone back, raising it up above his head. You frowned, as Jihoon stuck his tongue out.

“What’s wrong with trying to learn how to play games?” You pouted, “I don’t get why you’re so defensive.”

“N—no, it’s just...”

“Hmm?”

“I—“

You pulled Jihoon’s hand down towards you, as you snatched his phone back in victory, your back facing against him as you tried to unlock his phone.

“Yah! Give it back to me!” Jihoon tried to get his phone back, as you finally managed to unlock his phone.

His password? Your birthday.

What surprised you even more was his homescreen, it was a picture of the both of you, during middle school graduation.

“How cute, tsundere Jihoon having our picture as his wallpaper?” You cooed, “We were even so uncool back then.”

“Now you have seen it,” Jihoon tried to grip his phone, “give it back to me.”

“Why?” You teased, “Do you have a girlfriend that I don’t know about?”

“Actually,” Jihoon’s face inched closer to yours, making your heart accelerate at a very fast pace, “I’ve been thinking about this for a really long time, and its also the reason I asked you to come here for.”

“W—what is it?” You stuttered, not used to the proximity of your bodies.

“Y/N, I—“Before Jihoon could complete his sentence, the incessant vibrating of his mobile phone interrupted him, making him curse under his breath as he picked up the call.

“Hello—What?!” Jihoon furrowed his brows, then scrunching up his hair in frustration, “Ok. Make sure you keep a lookout for me.”

With that, he hung up the phone, and looked into your eyes, “Look, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I have to leave now. Something urgent cropped up, and I have to be there.”

You bit your lip, as you forced out a smile, “It’s fine. Just go.”

Jihoon squeezed your hand, as he left you alone in the music room, two waffles and strawberry milk untouched.

“Hey,” you hear someone call out to you, as you pulled out your earphones. It was the president of the winkies, Yoojin.

You stared at her blankly, as she scoffs, “You really don’t know where to draw the line, don’t you?”

You frowned, not understanding anything she said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Yoojin.”

“It’s Jihoon that I’m talking about,” She folded her arms, “Stop being so close to him.”

“What?”

You couldn’t believe your ears, are the winkies really coming at you for something so petty?

“Can’t you see? The oh-so-tough 101 mafia member is so smitten for you, his world revolves around you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, looks like his bestest friend doesn’t know,” Yoojin snickered, along with her other winkies, “Yes, your Jihoon is part of the 101 mafia. A prized one in fact. He doesn’t have a black belt in taekwondo for nothing.”

You were currently in disbelief, thinking that the winkies would do anything in their way to break the both of you up. You knew Jihoon was rumoured to be in the mafia, but he was too good of a student to be part of it. Besides, you were his best friend. He would tell you everything, right?

“I can show you his picture if you want—“ Yoojin’s phone went flying across the floor, glass fragments littering the concrete floor of the classroom.

“I can’t believe you stooped this low to get Jihoon,” Yoojung shook her head as she stepped on Yoojin’s brand new iPhone X, “even a baby wouldn’t believe your words.”

“Choi Yoojung!” She screamed, but no one showed sympathy to her as she picked up her now shattered phone, “Look what you’ve done!”

“What I have done?” Yoojung laughed, “Stopping another uncultured swine from spreading rumours, no?”

The whole class burst into whispers, as Yoojung pulled you by your wrist out of the classroom.

“Look, I don’t normally do this but, I’m sorry.” Yoojung bowed, as she gave you a cup of water.

“What for?” You were puzzled, immediately helping Yoojung up.

“I wanted to harm you...” Yoojung’s head hung low, “and I really shouldn’t because of a stupid crush.”

“Harm me for what?” You laughed, hugging an almost crying Yoojung.

“I wanted to harm you for getting close to my crush, you are really too nice.” Yoojung sniffed.

“Ok, tell me who’s your crush, I’ll help you.” You smiled, as Yoojung shook her head.

“It’s Jihoon,” Your face momentararily stiffens, “and I guess its time to get over him as well.”

“H-hey,” You stuttered, “I can help you, he’s my best friend.”

“No, I can’t.” Yoojung shook her head, “Jihoon has someone else in mind already.”

You slouched, patting Yoojung’s back, “I’m so sorry to hear that, Yoojung.”

“and he has his 101 stuff to handle too, I feel bad to add on to his work load...”

“Wait, 101?” You frowned, “as in the 101 mafia?”

“Jihoon is in the— oh you’re not supposed to know.” Yoojung scratched her head, then standing up, “I’m sorry and thank you.”

“No, Yoojung, wait!” You tugged on her jacket, “what am I not supposed to know?”

“N—nothing.” Yoojung tried to wriggle out of your grasp, but can’t under your iron grip.

“If you’re really sorry, then tell me about it.”

Yoojung sighed, “Alright, fine. Jihoon is in the 101 mafia, and I’m not joking. He really is in the mafia and is one of the most valued members because of his ability to do well both in school and work.”

Yoojung saw your doubtful eyes, as she whipped out her phone and showed you a picture of the 101 mafia, “Here’s Jihoon,” she zoomed into one of the members in the centre, seated right beside a silver haired man, “he looks different, doesn’t he?”

Jihoon indeed looked different, a boyish smirk stitched on his handsome features, hair all gelled up and a black leather jacket that had “101” imprinted on the left breast pocket. You couldn’t believe it, as his best friend, you had asked him many times about him and the 101. Of course, Jihoon denied it and waved it off with a charming smile, making you forget all about it.“He was in Fantagio before he joined 101,”

Yoojung sighed as she locked her phone, “And I guess that was when I started developing a crush on him.”

The both of you shared a moment of silence, as Yoojung stood up again, “I know this is a little too much for you to take in, but just so you know, I’m always active on Kakao, so just text me whenever.”

You and Yoojung were more than acquaintances, but little less than friends. You didn’t really know the petite girl well before, but now, you were guessing that you have earned yourself a new friend.

30 minutes earlier

“Jihoon,” Mark gasped over the phone, “Yoojung is going to do something to Y/N.”

“Hello—What?!” Jihoon furrowed his brows, then scrunching up his hair in frustration, “Ok. Make sure you keep a lookout for me.”

Mark sighed, as he slumped into the abandoned desk chair, right outside the music room.

A angry Yoojung carrying a bottle of 500ml Hershey’s chocolate sauce was seen stomping to Jihoon’s class, as she wanted to take revenge on Y/N by pouring the gooey sauce on the girl’s chair. A horrid prank, one would say, but this was no feat to the Fantagio mafia member.

“Yoojung!” She heard someone call out to her, as she froze, and quickly hid the bottle in her uniform jacket.

“Where are you going?” the voice belonged to her crush, Jihoon, who had his hands nonchantly tucked into the pant pockets.

“I was just, going to the toilet,” Yoojung lied, preparing to run off anytime soon.

“But the toilet is the other way, isn’t it?” Jihoon pointed to the opposite direction where Yoojung was headed. She cursed in her head, knowing she was going to get found out.

“So, what were you doing with a bottle of chocolate syrup?” Jihoon pointed at the awkward bulge in her uniform jacket.

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say.

“Are you going to mess up Y/N’s stuff with it?” Jihoon raised his eyebrows.

“Jihoon reading everyone’s mind like a fortune teller, as expected,” Yoojung laughed humourlessly, “Yes, I wanted to mess up Y/N’s seat with it. Why? Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not.” Jihoon shook his head, “I’m just disappointed that my friend would sabotage someone I like through something childish.”

Yoojung hung her mouth open in shock, seeing a different side of Jihoon, where did the 101 Jihoon go?

“I thought at least you could help me a little with this crush thing, because you have been in a relationship before,” Jihoon explained, then smiled grimly, “and also because I want you to get over me. It’s not worth it, Yoojung, imagine if your boss finds out you’re dating someone from the 101, you’ll be in trouble, you know that?”

Yoojung hung her head low, sighing, Jihoon was always right, and doing something childish over her jealousy was just really immature.

“Then what about Y/N?” She shot back, “She’s not even involved in anything, what if the rival mafias find out about her? What will you do? Will you protect her?”

“Yes, I will protect her.” Jihoon refuted, “I have even told Daniel about it already. At least she is just someone I like, my best friend, trying to get good grades like how normal teenagers do. But Yoojung, I’m sorry but I only see you as a good friend. Someone I can turn to despite not being from Fantagio anymore.”

Yoojung was now stunned, Jihoon was no longer the immature fourteen year old she met in Fantagio, picking fights at every disagreement. Now, Jihoon has the ability to talk people through reasoning, heck, his face was not helping at all.

“Well then, what do you want me to do?” Yoojung folded her arms.

“Just, don’t try to harm Y/N anymore, and never let her know about my involvement in the 101. Promise?” Jihoon held out his pinky finger.

Yoojung smiled, “We’re still at it now?”

Jihoon nodded, still holding out his finger.

“Promise.”

Just as you thought your day was going well, Jihoon ditching you, the encounter with the winkies and Jihoon’s involvement with the 101 made it all worse. Thank goodness you didn’t have any other classes with Jihoon for the rest of the day, at least, that would give you a good reason to avoid him.

Or so you thought.

Right after your last lesson, you spotted Jihoon waiting right outside your class, tapping his foot to an unknown beat.

You rolled your eyes, as you walked past him as if he was invisible. You soon heard footsteps chasing after you, your first instinct was to run.

It wasn’t long until Jihoon caught up with you, as he pulled on your backpack.“Why are you running away from me?” Jihoon panted, “It has been long since I ran after a girl, you know.”

“I don’t think I’m worth running after,” You replied grimly.

Jihoon’s face immediately fell, then placed both of his hands on your shoulders, “Hey, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right?”

“But you don’t tell me anything,” You felt tears stinging your eyes, “How long were you going to keep from me that you’re from the 101?”

Jihoon kept silent, shaking his head, “No, Y/N—“

You shrugged his hands away, “Why did you deny something that I will find out eventually? Calling yourself my best friend, I don’t think you’re doing a good job at that.”

You then walked off, tears streaming down your face.

“Hey, you’re crying as if your boyfriend cheated on you,” Yeri peeled open the 5th triangle kimbap, handing it to you, “it’s not that bad, Jihoon can protect you!”

“Protect me from what?” You sniffed, taking a huge bite, “his lies?”

“H-hey, he’s your best friend after all, calm down on the roasting, will you?” Yeri laughed nervously, then looking at her wrist watch, “Crap, I’m almost late for cram school. I’m sorry I can’t be with you till your tears dry up Y/N, but you owe me one for 5 triangle kimbaps and 7 bottles of banana milk.”

You sighed as you watch your best friend run off to the nearest bus stop outside the convinience store, slumping in your seat. Staring at the 4 kimbap wrappings and 6 empty bottles of banana milk, you sighed again. Why were you such a glutton when you were sad?

Even though it was only 5pm, the sky was pitch black, tiny stars dotting the sky. During the winter, it was common that the evenings would look like nights, darkening the path to home.You were glad that the estate you lived in had brightly lit lamp posts to guide your way home, but there were a few dodgy corners you had to get past in order to get home. Nonetheless, you never had any encounter with anybody you didn’t want to see.

Until today.

You walked the same route back home like you do everyday, safely passing by the most dodgy looking corners of the route. That night felt especially cold, sending shivers down your spine despite having 4 layers of clothing on.

While you passed the last corner, you let out a sigh of relief, thinking that you got through, until a hand covered your mouth and reeled you backwards.

Your first instinct was to scream, but the stranger’s big hands muffled most of your screams. You also tried to wriggle out of the stranger’s grasp, but they were too strong for you.

“You bitch,” You heard him mutter, “How dare you mess with my sister’s boyfriend!”

“I don’t even know your sister!” You panicked, slowly taking out your phone to dial for the police.

“You are such a liar, aren’t you?” He laughed menacingly, “Park Jihoon is Yoojin’s boyfriend, stop making him cheat on her!”

You finally managed to escape from the man’s grasp, then breathing heavily, “Jihoon doesn’t even like Yoojin, she’s nothing but a delusional bitch who chases after false hope!”

“What did you say?” The man seethed, taking out a pocket knife, hands quivering in anger.

“I said, Yoojin is—“

Before you could complete your sentence, the man was beat to the ground, groaning in pain. Behind the man was Jihoon, not in school uniform but in his leather jacket.

“Idiocy runs the family, eh?” Jihoon smirked, kicking the penknife away, “Like brother, like sister. Dumb and dumber.”

“You seem to be everywhere, Park Jihoon.” The man huffed, dusting himself as he got up.

“Didn’t your boss teach you not to screw up in others’ turfs?” Jihoon spat, “Yoohyun.”

Yoohyun sent a punch to Jihoon, which the latter skillfully avoided, and twisted the older boy’s arm and flung him to the ground. You gasped at the sight, not used to seeing this side of your best friend.

“Y/N!” Jihoon hugged your weak frame, “Are you alright?”

“I’m f—fine—Behind you!” You pulled Jihoon towards you, behind him was a charging Yoohyun, penknife in hand.

Jihoon dodged the penknife, but too close a proximity that the blade slightly grazed the young boy’s cheeks, leaving a cut. He ignored it, as the continued throwing kicks and punches to the older boy. You could only watch in sheer shock and fear, not knowing what Yoohyun would do next.

After a few punches and kicks, Yoohyun was beat to a pulp, purple bruises on his arms, legs and face. He cowardly limped away from the both of you, muttering a string of curse words under his breath.

You examined Jihoon carefully, the bloody red cut screaming contrast to his milky white skin, red bruise forming at the corner of his plump lips, brown hair moist and dishevelled, eyes still showing signs of rage. You shook your head, as you dragged him by his wrist, back to your home.

“Where are you bringing me to?” Jihoon asked, enjoying you holding his wrist too much.

“To treat your stupid wounds, you gangster.” You rolled your eyes, reaching your doorstep in a matter of minutes.

You were thankful that your parents were working overtime for today, or they would question why you brought a beaten-up Jihoon home. You lazily jiggled the key into the keyhole, then kicking off your school shoes to a corner. Jihoon followed suit, taking off his jacket and putting it neatly on the clothesrack next to the door.

“You can eat whatever,” You waved to the kitchen, “there is cold water in the fridge too, if it helps.”

As Jihoon watched your figure disappear into your room, he groaned as he got up from the sofa, shuffling to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water. He gulped down the water quickly, letting out a gasp of satisfaction after finishing the bottle.

“I didn’t know you could fight,” You broke the silence in the house, “you do fight well.”

Jihoon turned around, to be met with your petite figure drowned in a oversized pink and white stripped shirt, hair tied up in a messy bun, complete with a pair of white bunny slippers on your feet. He choked on his saliva, as you frantically ran over to him to pat his back to soothe the cough.

“Do you want me to change? You seem...shocked, as if you have never seen me before.” You stifiled your laughter, patting his back.

“N—no, you’re fine. You look cute.” Jihoon unknowingly spat out, blush reaching his cheeks after realising what he just said.

You shrugged, retriving the first aid kit from the bottom drawers of the island, plopping yourself on the sofa, patting the seat next to you. Jihoon obediently sat there, as you swung your legs on the sofa, resting it above Jihoon’s legs.

“You know, I can’t be with you forever to treat your wounds,” You nagged as you dabbed some disinfectant cream on the cut, “I’m not your maid, you know.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you can’t be always fighting,” You frowned as you dabbed some saline solution, “fighting is bad.”

The both of you then sat in comfortable silence, Jihoon occasionally wincing in pain as the disinfectant came in contact with his wound. You were too engrossed in trying to treat Jihoon that you didn’t notice that your face was dangerously close to his, close enough for Jihoon to lightly place a peck on your lips.

Jihoon’s heart was beating wildly, even though his brain told him otherwise. He was conflicted wheter to confess to you or to kiss you, he was afraid that either would end badly.

“Screw this,” Jihoon huffed, grabbing your wrist, closing in the gap between your lips.You were surprised, but slowly got used to it as he moved his lips with a little more force, moulding against yours. You gasped as his teeth tugged slightly on your lower lip, you could feel him smirk against your lips.i need holy water The both of you eventually pulled away after a good 20 seconds, gasping for air.

Jihoon pecked your lips softly one more time, brown eyes looking straight into yours, “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell and trust you with my secret, I just didn’t want you to view me differently after I told you about it. I wanted to confess to you earlier on but I was interrupted, so, uh...”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Jihoon looked at you with hopeful eyes, gleaming under the ceiling light.

You hugged your now-boyfriend as you nodded, “Of course I would be your girlfriend, you idiot.”

#wanna one scenarios #park jihoon scenarios #park jihoon #wanna one #holy shit i died like ten times in my death writing this #im sorry jihoon i love you

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starwindcom-blog · 6 years

Text

Mortal Kombat

I grew up on Honey Dr. behind Pace High School and Olivera Park. The park had basketball courts, several soccer fields, and a tall and battered brick tower near the east corner. It overshadowed our neighborhood. It must have been 40-50 feet high and served a mysterious purpose that all the kids in the block lored over. It was like the last remaining column of some archaic civilization still gaping at us from the near beyond. Birds nested at its peak. Teenagers smoked grass under it. It was there that my brother, while walking home from school, was jumped by some Pace cholos. They beat him up and sent him home with a gashed bloody nose, deeper and darker red than his hair. His eyes avoided us for weeks. He sat silently at the dinner table each night. I guess he just wasn’t meant to walk home. Maybe getting picked up like the other white kids really wasn’t a bad idea.

My closest friend from the neighborhood was Carlos. We spent nearly every day in the summers biking around the street, kicking the soccer ball, and waiting for the ice-cream man to show up. Occasionally, we went inside his house for a soda or a quesadilla his mom would microwave. In those few moments, I would run into Jesus.

Jesus had a demanding quality about him though he never really spoke, and when he did, it was never to me. His lips were immobile. I never saw his smile. He stood twice my size, with small deeply set-in brown eyes, copper-almond skin, and fatty cheeks. His clothes were baggy and he wore a skin-fade haircut and a thin fuzzy mustache over his lips. At that age, I didn’t even realize Jesus translated to “Jesus”. I only knew him as Hey-Seuss, Carlos’ brother.

I didn’t have any video games at my house. My parent’s childrearing books suggested against them. They promoted lethargy at best and violence and misconduct at worst. My brother had a Nintendo when he was a kid, but that was before I was around. Carlos’ house, on the other hand, had a Playstation, and on one summer day, Carlos invited me into his room, the room he shared with Jesus, to play it.

I remember the violence on the screen. This was no Mario Bros. or Sonic the Hedgehog. He was playing Mortal Kombat. As I entered his room, there sat Jesus himself. His legs were crossed, sitting on his bed, eyes glued to screen. Carlos stood next to me and said, “Hey, you should play Jesus. He’s really good.” And for reasons I could only guess were to spite me, Carlos left me there to face him in Mortal Kombat.

I was trembling with intimidation, but I wouldn’t dare let him see it. I didn’t know much about teenagers, but because of my brother’s bloody lip, I learned that if they weren’t white, there was a chance they were mean and violent. I avoided them at all costs. Of course, it didn’t occur to me that none of my friends were white. Honey Drive was akin to my town: most everyone was hispanic. First or second generation US citizens, many not even that.

Despite my ill-feeling, I sat on Carlos’ bed and picked up the controller.

With Carlos gone, Jesus just sat there. Staring at the screen. The only acknowledgement he gave me was exiting his fight and selecting Multiplayer on the homescreen. He pressed Start and with a gong the screen changed. We then selected our characters.

The setting was a pagan temple with our bare chested avatars in the foreground already sweating and in fighting position. A bell rang, and round one began. I used all the gaming skills I knew: try to tap every button on the controller simultaneously and as fast as possible. My character started jumping around and flailing his arms and legs, but when I would get close to Jesus’ stationary character, he would trip me. I’d get back up, approach him, and he would trip me again. He repeated the same move until my health bar was at 0. After only twenty seconds of him tripping me, I was dead. That entire time his character had his knee on the ground and his leg just chopping away when I was within range.

Both rounds, this went on. It seemed like the longest game I had ever played. Even at six years old, I thought, “How can this be fun? Why not do combos and stuff?” But I was in his room, and it was his game, so I remained silent.

Immediately after, I left the room and found Carlos. We went outside to play, and that was it.

That was the only time I was ever alone with Jesus. He never looked at or spoke to me. That afternoon, I biked home wondering if he too was afraid of something. I couldn’t help but think that two gingers on Honey Drive losing fights was a reminder that we had a place. That place was on the ground. This was not our home.

#shortstory #borderlands #brownsville

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trauma-13 · 6 years

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A L L T H E Q U E S T I O N S :)

Your wish is my command!! 1: is there a boy/girl in your life? Yep! He's pretty great!2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? No. 3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” super troopers. 4: what’s something you really want right now? To be off tomorrow. 5: are you afraid of falling in love? Not im the least. 6: do you like the beach? I love it!! 7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Almost nightly i fall asleep on the couch with James sooo yes. 8: what’s the background on your cell? Lock screen is purple and teal sparkles, homescreen is floral. 9: name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine. ER bed at work. Moms guest bed. Uh...i dunno beyond that. 10: do you like your phone? Yeah i really do!! I have the note 8 and its awesome. 11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? For the most part, yep! 12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Alex. I used to have her number and then got a new phone and lost all my contacts. Moral of that, if you had my # text me cause i dont have yours anymore. Except @car-one-responding 13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Rotti.14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional. 15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Hmm.....both. 16: are you tired? Always. 17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? Im going to go with first in my favorites which is my gramma, so literally my entire existance. 18: are they a relative? Yep. 19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? No. 20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? 2 seconds ago. 21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Yep. 22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yep. 23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? I have a watch on my left wrist and a hairtie on my right. I dont usually wear bracelets. 24: is there a certain quote you live by? "Que sera sera" (whatever will be will be.) And this too shall pass. My mom always told me que sera sera, and grams always says the other. 25: what’s on your mind? I dont wanna work tomorrow 😣 26: do you have any tattoos? Bro i have like 13. 27: what is your favorite color? Pink, teal. 28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Uno momento. 29: who are you texting? Nobody currently. 30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yep! 31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Always. Trust your instict, kids. 32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Multiple! Love my guys. 33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? I would hope!34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah. 35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Id probably punch him. 36: were you single on valentines day? Negative ghost rider. 37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Smidge more than friends. 38: what do your friends call you? Lyn and Lyni are the common ones. 39: has anyone upset you in the last week? Yeah. 40: have you ever cried over a text? Yeah. 41: where’s your last bruise located? I dont currently have one but i had one a few days ago. 42: what is it from? From my dog. 43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Daily hah i need a vacation. 44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? Most likely my mother. 45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My teal chucks or my black and sparkly nikes. 46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No. Pony tail/messy bun is my go to! 47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? I doubt it. 48: do you make supper for your family? Dinner. But some times! 49: does your bedroom have a door? Yes. 50: top 3 web-pages? Prob tumblr, facebook and my school website. 51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? A few hah 52: does anything on your body hurt? Right now, no for once. 53: are goodbyes hard for you? They can be.54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably water. 55: how is your hair? Up in a pony tail. 56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Snooze my alarm. 57: do you think two people can last forever? Yes. 58: think back to january 2007, were you single? Uh, yes? 59: green or purple grapes? Purple. 60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? Probably tomorrow before work. 61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Disneyland. 62: when will be the next time you text someone? Tomorrow. 63: where will you be 5 hours from now? Asleepin! 64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Asleep!65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? Lets not go there. 66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? My best friend. 67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? Yes. 68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I was trying to figure out how to organize my ATI binder. I fell asleep instead hah 69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Who hasnt? 70: how many windows are open on your computer? Im on my phone. But firefox has 1 tab open. 71: how many fingers do you have? 10! 72: what is your ringtone? Thunderstruck-AC/DC 73: how old will you be in 5 months? 25! 74: where is your mum right now? I would guess at home in bed, but i dunno because that heathen ignored all my texts today. 75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? I was young and stupid and didnt know what love really was so i accepted less than i deserved and allowed him to control me and my life. 76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Yes! 77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Some of them, yep! 78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? Year 7? As in 7th grade? No. 79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? My step dad! 80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?ast night. 81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? Uno! 82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? In the last 3 seconds is more accurate hahah 83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Hes laying right next to me, so yes. 84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? My best friends. Theyre drunk too. We're all yelling. 85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? They wouldn't be my bf/gf. 86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? It was Black Panther and i called a lady a dumb bitch and got glared at sooo. 87: who was your last received call from? Random # 88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? No. 89: what is something you wish you had more of? Money. But no i wouldnt burn a butterfly or any other animal. 90: have you ever trusted someone too much? Ooooh yeah. 91: do you sleep with your window open? Sometimes! 92: do you get along with girls? Some of them. 93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No.94: does sex mean love? Oh no. 95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Nope. 96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Yes. 97: did you sleep alone this week? Just when i took a nap the other day. 98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? Yes, my boyfriend. 99: do you believe in love at first sight? Nope.100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? My boyfriend.

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diariesofaclosetsuicidal-blog · 7 years

Text

Last Night

We met last night for the first time in about a year. The last time we met, it was during Christmastime. I remember because I asked if we could meet at Bryant Park, near the tree. I took an earlier train so that I could sit by the ice skating rink, let the cold freeze my bones while watching the ice skaters, contemplating what I was doing there in the first place. Sitting underneath the black, freezing night air of New York City, I inhaled the sharp air and watched my exhales form tiny white clouds in front of my face.

The ice skaters that night were hardly the most graceful. Some kids, some adults...Some first dates (you can always tell) and some couples that had clearly been together for too long (you can always tell that, too).

And then there was me.

A boyfriend at home. And a man on the way.

It was so Sex & The City. I seriously did have Aiden and Mr. Big. Except my Mr. Big was Mr. NYC and my Aiden was a metal-head, business-owner. And not a soul knew.

And so, there I was. Sitting in the cold, contemplating the choices I was making, contemplating life. And then there he was...Rising mysteriously through that cold dark night, making his way toward me innocently, but with alternative motives...a wolf hunting for his prey.

That was the last time I saw him; 2 years ago.

Then it happened again last night.

Not a lie, he kept in touch for the last year - and when I say keep in touch, I mean really kept in touch. There was a brief 3 month break in between, but when he returned, he returned. I was never surprised when my phone would buzz and it would be him...Every 2 weeks, almost like clockwork. He’d send me funny pictures or a meme or something else related to the pitfalls of the current election or the economy. He was always very smart and sophisticated in that way. Mr. NYC: working a top finance job in NYC, living in a gorgeous high-rise in Brooklyn overlooking the Staten Island Bridge, and always knowing the best spots to go to. He would always catch me by surprise with the places he took me to - there was so many gorgeous bars in NYC that I never EVER would have known about if it hadn’t been for my Mr. NYC.

And then, all of a sudden this week, I decided I needed to see him. And this was no whim. There was a lot of thought put into it.

I left work super early to get into the city. I wasn’t supposed to leave 2 hours before my scheduled departure time, but my boss wasn’t around and, to be honest, I wanted to give in to my excitement. So I lied and I left.

After arriving home, I got ready and put on a dress (dresses are hardly something I wear anymore so when I get to put them on, it’s a big deal), sprayed my hair, prayed that it wouldn’t rain, packed up a tiny purse with all of the essentials (my most essential makeup, IDs, earbuds, phone charger, bobby pins, mini bottle of hairspray, hair ties), sprayed on my favorite Chanel perfume, slid my pedicured toes into ballet flats, and excitedly, but nervously, locked the door of the apartment I share with my boyfriend behind me and left for the train.

I didn’t think that I would catch the earlier train, but just as my ticket dropped down from the automatic machine, the train pulled up. I boarded and stood the entire way, waiting to arrive in Grand Central, doing my best to divert my attention from people who stood staring at me. The tiny, tan girl with the long red hair in the white floral dress, dark lipstick and perfect smile.

The anticipation of pulling into Grand Central is enough to kill anyone. As the train slows to 5 miles an hour and drags through dark tunnel after dark tunnel, sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever see the light again. Passing terminal after terminal, you wonder when you’ll stop. The reception of your phone fails and all of a sudden it’s just you and the creaks of the braking train’s ebbs and flows. Finally, we arrived.

Getting in early left me just enough time to pull myself together and listen to one last powerful song on my iPod to banish my nerves. My immediate path in Grand Central Station is to beeline to the ladies’ room by the ‘Chicken, Chicken, Chicken’ restaurant to collect myself. Now, the ladies’ bathrooms at Grand Central Station are not the most glamorous, but there’s something about them - especially on a Friday or Saturday night - where girls from NY, NJ and CT all gather there to make their final clothing, hair and makeup adjustments before meeting their friends in the cavernous upstairs lobby or hopping the sweaty, humid subway to their hip hangouts and downtown bars and clubs. For some reason, it always inspires me to see this happening. Women getting ready for dates with their friends, or dates with their significant others. Or just prettying themselves for another New York City night. Practicing their coy game faces, lining their lips, silently pep-talking themselves, promising they’ll get into a little bit of trouble tonight, to hold them over until the next big thrill.

At least that’s what I tell myself.

I pucker my lips in the mirror - no reapplication necessary; my shade of lipstick is the perfect deep tone of neutral, setting off my light green eyes and faux tanned skin (which I tell everyone is real, of course)...My white dress with pink flowers pulls everything together. I wore pearls for me...but also because Mr. NYC is a classy guy. And I know he’ll appreciate them.

After one last spray and toss of my hair, I’m off to meet him at the escalators off 45th street, just as we agreed via text message earlier that day. It’s so strange that only 3 hours ago I was at work, I tell myself. How time flies.

I stare out the window looking for his BMW and I feel my heart beating out of my chest; it feels as if it might explode. The dangerous excitement builds inside of me. What if I’m found out. What if someone I know is at the bar we go to. What if one thing leads to another and I’m home later than I ought to be. Take another deep breath, I tell myself. I inhale my risky side and exhale my inhibitions. I wave goodbye to them as I fog up the glass in front of me with my breath. This is my night.

As I’m waiting, I see him through the glass. In fact, he actually sees me first. He’s found me like he always does. And, to make the moment extra special, I happen to get a phone call at the same time from a random number. I quickly decline it and it takes me back to the picture of my boyfriend and I set on my homescreen. I silently panic.

He hugs me and picks me up and I inhale him again.

I should have prefaced all of this by saying that Mr. NYC’s personality is not the most attractive. But his sense of danger, his suaveness and his charm together...well, it’s an unbeatable combination that drives me crazy. For one night, I can be a different girl with him.

He sets me down and we exchange the typical, “it’s good to see you’s”. He is carrying an umbrella because it is drizzling outside. He thought to bring an umbrella. This is one of the many wonderful things about him.

As we walk through the MetLife-Grand Central connection hall and head towards the exit, I notice how his voice echoes loud, yet nervously, as he ticks off all of the things that have changed. His words bounce off the tiled walls like ping-pongs, repeating and repeating. He’s nervous, I can tell. He always talks too much when he’s nervous. He always talks too much when he’s around me. He’s nervous around me. I know this...And I use it to my advantage. I can work with this.

I use the first few moments of his awkward conversation to nervously fumble around with my phone, finding an appropriate picture to change my home and lock screen to. When it’s done, I finally relax. I now show no signs of being attached. As far as the entirety of New York City is concerned, I am a single girl.

When we step out from the gleaming marble overhang of the MetLife building into the life of New York City, he pops the umbrella on cue and pulls my waist in close to him. When I am sufficiently covered, he doesn’t move his hand. He pulls me close when anyone gets too near our umbrella...or makes eye contact with me. We cross the street to his BMW, which he says is ‘old’...but it’s a model from 3 years ago and it’s in stellar condition. He walks me to the passenger side and opens the door for me, carefully balancing the umbrella so as not to expose any of me to rain. He meticulously checks if I’m in completely and then closes the door and folds the umbrella up. Did I mention Mr. NYC is hella charming.

Money is no object to Mr. NYC. He spares no expense. He comes from money, he makes good money, and he’s not afraid to spend his money. I get nervous around him, but I never show it. We are from different planets, he and I. Sometimes I wonder, with all the gorgeous women in NYC he could have, why he chooses me. And then I remember, the girl that I am when I’m with him doesn’t think that way. The girl that I am with him, could also have anyone she wants. She’s intimidating. And I jump right back into the conversation.

He puts his hands on me during the car ride. My white cotton dress is short and leaves my tanned-thighs bare. He takes that as an invitation to set down his sweaty palm on top, his fingers lightly grazing my inner thighs...Though we haven’t seen each other in a year, he picks right back up where we left off.

He tells me I look tan. I say that I was spending time in the sun at my mom’s lake house in Connecticut. This is not a complete lie - I was there....2 weeks ago. But I tell him I got back 2 days ago. I don’t tell him I’m obsessed with self-tanning or having my hair done...especially for dates that I’m not supposed to be on. But I look perfect. The way every girl wants to look when she’s with someone she likes...but doesn’t want to let on that she likes.

I play the part perfectly, I have to say. And maybe it’s because I’ve done it for the last 2 years with him. We have had a tumultuous time being together the first time, he and I. We’ve done too much of things we shouldn’t have...and not enough of the things we should’ve. One day I’ll tell the story of how we met and the promises he made to me that night 2 years ago. I still wonder if they’ll come true. Life has a funny way of working out, you know.

But I digress.

He says he has a mission tonight. The sun starts to peek through the rainy clouds and creeps up past his dashboard covering us in rays of gold. For some reason, I fall into it’s direct line. It drenches my face and the bright light fills my eyes, so much so that the light green turns to yellow. I use it as an opportunity to hold his gaze, burning my light eyes into his deep dark ones, hoping to knock him off guard. It works. He doesn’t notice that the traffic light has turned green until the cabbies break the silence, beeping behind us, impatient and frustrating. Begrudgingly, he tears his gaze from mine, hands back on the wheel and proceeds to turn right. He tells me that he’s made a reservation at one of his favorite bars, and that, our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to get the ingredients and the recipe to one of his favorite cocktails at one of his favorite underground bars in the city.

He made a reservation. At a bar. In the City. Only Mr. NYC. I am impressed.

Alright then, I say. I’m game.

We park a few blocks away from the restaurant, but we don’t hold hands as we walk. I am happy about this...Too much hand holding and I feel clingy. That’s not who I want to be tonight. We walk in, early for our reservation, so they seat us downstairs at a small table, instead of at the bar like he requested. Mr. NYC doesn’t give in so easily; a perfectionist in all ways. He said he requested the bar and the bartenders assure us a spot will open soon...I put my hand on his; “This is good for now”, I say.

He tells me they’ll make me whatever I want. But I still order something from the menu. I notice how many times he apologizes. Almost like me in real life...I’m one of those people who says ‘sorry’ after every utterance. But not here, not in this fantasy. I’m not who I normally am, so I am the one that gets to say ‘why are you sorry? You don’t need to apologize’ and look at him reassuringly. He’s nervous. This role was made for me.

We catch up. I am at my same retail job, still teaching workout classes but I’ve started a new business, all of which I glaze over and climactically claim ‘I’m happy’. He likes to know what’s going on with me. I am uncomfortable sharing what’s happening with me...Remember when I said we are from too different worlds? Mr NYC would never date a girl that works in retail. So, I focus less on the retail position (which works out because honestly I can’t stand it), and concentrate on my business. I don’t hold back about my failures, I am open, honest and forthcoming about everything I’ve learned. He is leaning in.

As for him, he was let go from his position last year with a healthy severance package, but being in finance, it didn’t take him long to land on his feet. He is happy were he is now. The location of his office is easier commuting-wise and he ‘is enjoying taking the lead at work and helping other people do their jobs because he can handle it better than they can’...Mr NYC, always so humble.

At this point, the first round of drinks have been delicately sipped and are about halfway gone and two spots at the bar have just opened up. We take a seat. Now he’s got me where he wants me.

“It’s really good to see you again”, he tells me. “You look incredible, you look more gorgeous than you did the last time I saw you.”

I say ‘no’, being modest. He says ‘yes’. “You have everything going for you - you’re the closest thing to the total package I’ve ever seen”.

He picks up his drink, and pauses just before it hits his lips: “Did I see you were back with your ex for a bit last year?” He takes a dramatic sip and keeps eye contact.

I am a pathological liar. It’s a terrible habit. But for some reason, I like to embellish. I like to make things sound more intriguing, mysterious, more...enigmatic than they are. So I let my mouth answer before my brain - or my heart - kick in: yes, but ‘we’re not so much anymore’.

‘We’re not so much anymore’

Even I don’t know what that means. I put way too many adverbs together and somehow made a mystifying but altogether too clear statement. But i suppose that was the point - no clarity, no explanation and complete and total wordplay. It was perfect.

Apparently, it meant something to him. He pulled me in for a hug, then placed his hands delicately under my chin, lifted my face to his and pulled me in for what I knew promised to be the first kiss of the night. I let him do it.

When our faces broke apart, I looked at him shyly and with a tiny, coy smile on my face. A look I have perfected in the mirror. A look that also seems so naturally initiated. Pure poison.

He starts talking about something else, politics, sports or some other bullshit that I stop listening to about halfway through. I always glaze over when he gets nervous. He talks incessentaly about things, events, other stuff that I just don’t care about. He also cuts me off mid-sentence every time I try to get a word in edgewise and drives me nuts that he clearly can’t see that I’m not interested in the conversation until about 20 minutes after he’s launched into it. And while it takes him that long to notice, he always notices when I’m bored.

He puts both arms around me and pulls me close. ‘So tell me what else is new with you’.

I tell him not much other than what I already talked about. I tell him about my sisters and he says that they probably look up to me a lot. I say that I hope they do, I just want to be a good person. He assures me I am...He says he loves that about me. And he kisses me again.

I am finished with my second drink. Had they not brought over chips and dip, I would be feeling way more woozy than I am right now. I am drunk on $20 cocktails, in a dimly lit bar and I am with a guy that is super into me and I look gorgeous. This is my element.

‘I was really happy when you agreed to come back and meet me’. I assured him that I felt the same.

Our conversation took a turn. He said that he had been hanging out with exes, too. But that they all drove him crazy, especially the teachers. Well, I understand, I said: teachers deal with kids all day. They are crazy.

“Well, it must rub off then, because the teachers that I’ve dated have all been nuts...

That’s why every time I was on a date with them, I was thinking about you. You’re so different. Every time I go out on a date, I am thinking about you. Even my friends ask me why I’m not with you.”

It occurs to me at this point that I probably should have asked “then why aren’t you with me?”. But I was too drunk and it felt too good to have my ego stroked. I also didn’t want to give in that easily - I didn’t want him to know that I wanted it. I mean, honestly, could I really seriously date Mr. NYC? Up until now, he had been a fling. But we were teeter-tottering on the edge of a serious conversation. Not that we hadn’t been there before...

“And then I started thinking about it. You’re the closest thing to a total package I’ve ever known. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you work hard. How is that you’re still single?!”

“I don’t put myself out there a lot”, I say. It’s true. But mostly it’s because I currently am in a committed relationship...of course, I don’t say that part aloud. “I just am busy focusing on the things that I want to accomplish.”

At this point, he pulls me in for another kiss.

I shyly smile back at him as he stares at me...

“What?!”, I laugh shyly at him.

“That’s just the most amazing thing I’ve heard anyone say.”

We continue to chat. And 10 minutes later, he orders his third drink. He continues to kiss me. I break away.

And you just realized this after 2 years.

I have only come to realize this over the last 6 months. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I am always thinking about you and you’ve been here all along.”

“I have”, I say, shrugging my shoulders.

“Why do you think that I keep sending messages to you? You think I’d really keep sending you all those texts if I wasn’t thinking about you all the time.”

I looked down at my drink. This was all pretend. Mr NYC was also a really good actor and I didn’t think I could take him at his word. But then he surprised me.

“I’d really like to do this the right way. I want to know the next time I can see you. I want to come visit you where you live. I want to talk to you every day.”

“And you’re not saying all this because you’re drunk?” “I’m not drunk.”

Prove it.

How.

Tell me one thing you’ve never told me before. About you.

He put his arms around me.

“I am intimidated by beautiful women. Up until recently, I’ve had a lot of self confidence issues to work out.

And one more thing. One of the first times you hung out with me, you asked me if you weren’t just another notch in my belt. That really got to me. Just so you know, you were NEVER a notch in my belt. You are so much more than that to me. You always have been.”

I decided to ignore the last sentiment he shared. “But why would you be intimidated. Why don’t you just be yourself. You should be who you are no matter what. I don’t like people for what’s on the outside, I like people for who they are on the inside.”

If you say one more beautiful thing, I might just propose to you right now. I look at him.

And then he kissed me again.

Then he swiveled my bar stool towards him, so my knees were between his thighs.

“I really want to give this a try”, he said again. “I want to come see you and I want to talk to you everyday.

Sorry if this is all moving too fast or coming out all at once. I just had to tell you.”

He mouths to me silently “I love you.”

I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it.

“It’s okay...I understand. And just so you know the feeling is mutual. And at that point, it was.”

He paused, staring at me, “You’re just so cute right now.”

He pulled me close to kiss him again. And when I pulled away, I gave him the classic shy smile.

Another drink in and he sets off on his mission. He needs the ingredients and the mixing instructions for his drink for next weekend. There’s a party at his parents house and he wants to mix this particular drink for his friends.

“You’re invited by the way”

“To where?”

“The party”

“I don’t think I could. I’ve never been to the Hamptons. I wouldn’t fit in.”

He looks at me “Well, if you change your mind let me know”. See, he knows I wouldn’t fit in. He can’t deny it.

I drop the subject and move onto something else. Later on, I tell him I want to stretch my legs. We bid goodbye to the bartenders, who so lovingly mixed our drinks and allowed him to accomplish his one mission for the evening. And we set out into the breezy, humid New York night.

We spent the rest of the evening walking around Greenwich Village, holding hands. Actually, it was less holding hands and more of him seeming like he didn’t want to let my hand go. And if he wasn’t holding my hand, he was holding my waist. Arms around each other, like we had been doing this forever.

We walk all over the city. We play a round of silly zombie video games. And then we circle back to his car. He doesn’t stop holding my hand until he’s opening the passenger side door for me to climb inside. His chivalry is like a dagger through my heart as my mind wanders back to my real life...my boyfriend, sleeping soundly in our apartment. He wouldn’t do this for me. No no.

We’re both tired and I need to catch the train home. In the past, with him, I’ve been too shy to yawn. Now, I do so openly. He asks me where he should take me.

To Grand Central Station, of course.

He stares at me for a moment. I can feel his disappointment.

So I suggestively and out-rightly ask him if there’s another place he would suggest. On the inside, my dangerous side is telling me to be open to all possibilities. He says he just wants me to get home as quickly as possible and as safely as possible.

It feels like a dig. I joke “as long as I get away from you as quickly as possible, right?”

He looks at me “that’s not what I said.”

I can’t tell if that was the wrong thing or the right thing to say. There’s a history we have about spending the night together. Another story for another time.

The 15 minute car ride to Grand Central is spent talking about his friends and his stocks. He grabs onto my hand halfway through and interlaces my fingers through mine. I loosen my grip and he only tightens his. I am watching the clock; I am 5 minutes away from missing my train. I consider that I wouldn’t mind spending an extra 40 minutes in Grand Central Station. Another 40 minutes to explore the city on my own. And to think about Mr. NYC and if he really plans to change this time. And what would happen if I called things off with my metal man and went to join Mr. NYC for a life in the city instead...

We arrive. It’s the end of the night. But he doesn’t just drop me off in front of Grand Central. He illegally parks on the side of the road, puts on his hazards and proceeds to walk me all the way to Gate 21, the terminal from which my train is departing. Not only does he walk me to the gate, he walks me all the way down to the train tracks and puts me on the train, with one foot on, as if he is still deciding if he should come with me or not.

I look up at him again and give him that green-stare gaze. His hands are back on my face and he kisses me deeply right there in the middle of the train car, in front of everyone. Mr NYC never cares who’s watching...almost to a fault. He steps back and we trade ‘thank you’s’ for a wonderful evening. He tells me to text him when I’m home safe and not to forget. He begins to back away...but before he does, he takes 3 steps forward and kisses me one more time, like he may never see me again...

As the doors shut in front of us and the train pulls away from the platform, I still haven’t decided if he will.

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