#like 'hayate you gotta think critically my dude. you can't just believe anything ppl say'

[eats-the-stars]

so i’ve decided to write a naruto fanfic. well, a lot of them. and in the process i’ve been making OCs and...i forgot how much i love making OCs and going wild w/my original plots. especially for a world like naruto where you can get away w/basically anything. like right now my fav OC is a little girl from shimogakure. i gave that kid a feisty little talking nin-goat for a bff. why? because i could. they both exist to get escorted back to Shimo but i still put a lot of work into them. they’re not interested in making anyone’s life easier and it’s beautiful. iruka, kotetsu, and izumo are all children of refugees from Uzushio (they were on the same genin team bc i love them. also i made an OC jounin-sensei for them and she’s just...perfect. trap master. summons ninja weasels. expected her genin to die in like week 1. likes to ditch them randomly. doesn’t show up to mandatory events and ppl are like ‘did they even give u a jounin-sensei or?’ sometimes she sends a weasel w/them instead. half of konoha thinks their jounin-sensei is an actual weasel. might throw in some confusion where they’re like “...Itachi? The Uchiha? isn’t he...too young? and not a kunoichi?” (because his name means weasel lol) iruka’s grandma left a nin-cat behind and she (the nin-cat) decides to teach iruka and his pals the art of fuuinjutsu. iruka/izumo/kotetsu get more instruction from random ninja animals than actual people. izumo can see ghosts and they pitch in. nobody in konoha knows who/what their jounin-sensei is. w/the exception of Anko and Hayate. Ibiki is done. he keeps walking in on things and walking right back out). i made a whole plot about ppl from Konoha treating refugees n their kids like shit. Kotetsu gets a cool uncle. Izumo gets shitty parents. there’s an Uzushio district in Konoha. iruka’s grandma was a dragon. he adopts naruto. the peeps from Uzushio are more chill about the jinchuuriki thing. naruto gets lots of stories about his kickass mom. iruka teaches him how to summon seagulls and immediately regrets it. plot things happen and the uchiha massacre doesn’t go down. instead madara ends up getting his ass kicked by iruka’s grandma (the dragon one). itachi doesn’t defect. sasuke is just like...a teenager with a helicopter bro. still got dead parents tho. danzo’s plans keep going to shit. no breaks for him. team 7 is semi-functional since sasuke isn’t as messed up and naruto has tons of support and doesn’t need to go so hard to prove himself. i mean he still goes hard and he wants to be hokage but sasuke’s not a massive dick to him and there’s a good chunk of the village rooting for him already. plus sakura isn’t crushing on sasuke. since he’s not ‘the last uchiha’ there’s no girl craze over him. i just realized that a ton of my OCs are like...ninja animals. also relatives of characters + jounin-sensei for characters that never got those fleshed out in canon. but yeah this fic/AU is slowly spiraling out of control but i’m just gonna let it at this point. 

#naruto #fanfiction #i swear i just keep thinking of 'oh wouldn't it be sweet if?' and then running w/it #since we know basically nothing in canon about iruka and kotetsu and izumo as genin #i basically just went wild #and now in my AU nobody knows exactly what happened w/them as genin #the biggest mystery after 'how did iruka get his scar?' is 'who was their jounin-sensei?' #the scar theories are all absolutely wild (but i do have the answer in my fic and it involves his early rivalry w/Anko) #and jounin-sensei theories include: a weasel / a nin-cat / the ghost of various shinobi / one of their future selves / a spy /nobody #ppl who guess spy think that it must've been a cover-up and for security reasons #T&I sealed all the info and erased everybody's memories or had them replaced w/ridiculous ones #Anko loves coming up w/increasingly improbable explanations for things #Hayate knows all the secrets and bluntly tells ppl the truth but nobody believes him #they think he keeps getting duped and he needs to be less gullible #like 'hayate you gotta think critically my dude. you can't just believe anything ppl say' #and he's just like 'no but iruka's grandma really is a dragon and her cat taught him fuuinjutsu and izumo can see ghosts–' #and they're just like 'hayate. it's sweet that you believe all of that's true but...you're being duped. this is another mind game.' #and i know in canon Ibiki and Hayate were on the same genin team...so he'd hear all the truths #but then be like 'mmm. no. that's ridiculous buddy. lol. like really? he couldn't come bc his grandma's cat was teaching him fuuinjutsu? #and then like ten years later he's just walking along minding his own business #and he sees Iruka and Naruto at Ichiraku and he can hear them talking to somebody but there's nobody else there #and there's a gruff voice saying 'your sensei here took a whole month to master that seal.' #and ibiki pulls back the flap #and sitting on the 3rd stool w/its own bowl of ramen is a literal cat #it makes eye contact w/him #he drops the flap. walks silently all the way back to T&I and promptly has a minor mental breakdown #he spends the next 3 days flashing through every crazy think hayate ever told him