#life's hard already

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[fairycosmos]

whats the deal with the stigma around giving up anyway. yeah this is hard so i do not want to do it anymore. we don’t keep our hand inside a burning flame just to feel like a martyr. i’m off to get a milkshake 

#like? ya its hard. so im quitting. i dont want to experience hard things when baseline life is already full of harsh lessons .

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work #now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water #that oughta fix me #pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts #they were too important in my mind not to include #godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy #i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle #ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet! #wait no sorry that was a fucking lie #i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong! #ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM #unwell. simply unwell yes yes #there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url! #puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open #might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!

[astrolavas]

thinking about the... potential clawthorne woodcarving mentorship.

+ bonus cuz also thinking abt how if hunter ever met dell's palisman and got reminded of flapjack, he'd probably feel bad abt making that association cuz he knows what it's like to be seen only as someone's different version (even though the bird wouldn't mind much so lol)

#eda having that palistrom seed.. hunter saying he wants to learn how to carve palisman... his relation to clawthornes. it HAS to mean STH js #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #toh hunter #hahaa always thinking abt hunter growing a soft spot for palismen and loving creating and bringing them to life #but never being able to replace flapjack no matter how many palismen for other ppl he carves. I'M GONNA- #:((((( :/// #like he's not going to want to replace flapjack just like that rn. cuz he LOVES that bird. it's gonna be so hard for him to just.. Move On #and flapjack's a PART of him.. so very curious where they'll go with this because..... HM. HM like he serves as his disability aid almost #and he can't just REMAKE him. but he cannot also just.... ignore what happened straight away. but it's also important to heal #but whatever he decides to do i feel like he'd love to just............ create. whether it be for himself or others #BUT GAH. ANYWAY XKJSJSK wrote an essay abt this already don't need to write one in the tags TOO. so uh .. yea #little guy.. pls find happiness #my art #fanart #hunter #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #eda #eda clawthorne #dell #dell clawthorne #dell's palisman #toh art #edalyn clawthorne #also like...... if flapjack and dell's palisman were caleb's and evelyn's palismen...... and knew each other........ #and while flapjack was waiting for his new person at the bat queen's cave dell's palisman was being passed down clawthorne generations #OUUHGHHHHGHHHH they were probably friends..... they Knew each other #what's up with you you mysterious yellow bird with eyebrows...... what's your story

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #tulu xuanwu #blood #Vomit on his sweater already; mom's spaghetti #I love drawing teenji because he gets to be a lot more expressive than Older Lan Wangji. #wwx is trying so hard to be supportive and it keeps backfiring for lwj. #“There's no way I would ever want you carnally ^_^” meanwhile the guy who wants him carnally is losing his mind in agony. #Hot tip if you keep finding yourself in Lan Zhan's shoes: consider being more obvious. Give up on trying to be subtle with an ADHDer. #His game is SO BAD. Abysmally bad rizz. I do not think it was possible for these to to have a chance to get together in this life. #He has no plan. He has no healthy outlet for his feelings. He is looking at his half naked crush and losing his shot. #F in the chat for Lan Zhan. He's just been accidently rejected and he is about to be accused of being straight. #Meta commentary moment: I am going to try very hard to be more consistent with outfits and details across comics #I have had some...difficulties in the past with forgetting details (COUGH the vermillion mark COUGH) #New year new goals! Wish my ADHD eyes and brain good luck!

[applestruda]

Still in love with his new origin

#dont come at me if i messed up the skeleton #horses are hard enough already without having to worry about all the bones #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #new life smp #nlsmp #my art

[trossards]

remember wc18 when everyone was making neymar rolling on the ground memes those were simpler times

#it’s hard to believe wc18 was already 4 years ago wtf #i blame covid for losing two years of my life #wc22

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

#sorry this turned kinda angsty I just think eliot famousaliases spencer is a great reoccurring joke #eventually an indeterminate amount of months later you see him pop up again and you breathe #at this point all the intel you’ve gotten points that he’s actually doing something good with his life #like he’s changed. and you know he’s a bad guy but he’s doing things that nobody else is really capable of doing. making changes on large #and small scales #he will face consequences eventually you are sure. but his tracks are so well covered already and he’s so slippery so maybe. maybe you just #don’t make your agents work so hard to track him down #you get to know sterling a bit better (and maybe understand him a bit better too) #sterling invites you to an off the books lunch at this brewpub in portland when you’re in the states. the head chef looks familiar #it’s the best food you’ve ever tasted. because OF COURSE it is #at this point you’re not even angry. or resigned anymore. you’re slightly impressed #anyways that’s how sterling’s leverage club gains another member #(mcsweeten was the second member btw. if you’ve seen my other posts) #eliot spencer #eliot spencer meta #headcanons #humor #leverage #jim sterling #(mentioned) #the studio job #the blue line job #the three strikes job #ficlets #mine #a post not on my queue??? more likely than you think #I should make a tag for in universe pov posts #into the leverage verse #headcanons in the tags #the rundown job

[liam-summers]

AtS 2.22 | BtVS 5.22

"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

#btvsedit #buffy the vampire slayer #atsedit #angel the series #bangel #buffy x angel #buffy x dawn #willow rosenberg #buffy summers #zanisummers #dailybtvs #dailyats #*gif #the way everything she said to Dawn on that tower she's already said to Angel #“Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's everyday. It's what we have to do and we can do it together” #and “You're gonna live. You have to live." #and “I won't let you die. I can't” #how she was willing to risk her life to save Angel and how she died to save Dawn #the love in the woman's heart is beyond astronomical #might make another set with all these scenes side by side later cause I think we all need more pain in our lives #in the meantime excuse me while go sob #also sorry for doing this on this sunday night #good day

[puppyeared]

updated Sleight ref!!

#i changed his colors !! #treat this as a suggestion than a solid ref. i spent like 3 hours drawing and redrawing the legs bc i couldnt get the shape right so if u #wanna draw them more planti or digi i do not mind ^_^ get silly with it!! same goes for pelt pattern do whatevr u want with it #the pelt pattern is loosely based on a snowshoe cat which was fun to play with. as u can see they kinda have a butterfly motif going on #if u squint the ear tufts kinda resemble luna moths or swallowtails with the long tail at the end of the wings #i was kinda torn about changing the costume color but it clashed too much with the new color palette so i had to change it #i didnt include the cape here so its easier to see the costume but ill draw it another time if i remember lol #its also a lil hard to see but i put pinstripes on their pants but thats optional. their design is pretty flexible anyway #god im pretty attached to this guy already. hes like semi fan character semi regular character... oc... thing #i should draw more furries. i followed some furry artists for giggles recently and its true what they say. u need furries in your life #btw while i was drawing this i was fooling around while trying to figure out his costume color and colored it as kaito kids suit for fun #and i just stared at it for a solid 5 minutes before saving a picture. maybe ill post it later #my art #myart #my oc #oc #furry art #fur #furry #laika's comet #laika's comet oc #fan character #sleight #ref sheet #oc ref sheet

[astrangertomykin]

Gale's the type that when you are having feelings of inadequacy about your relationship and how you fit into it, uttering "Gale, I'm no Goddess" whilst turning your head away, that he would cup your face with his hand and bring your eyeline back to his, and whisper "No. You're so much more." right before he pulls you close to kiss you as gently, with a reverence, just as you deserve

#Gale x tav #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #IM GOING THROUGH IT THIS MORNING APPARENTLY #like it's hard not to feel some doubt when the ex is a literal goddess #nothing you can do could ever live up to what she has has achieved in a second of your life #and yet to gale you already have #because you taught him to love life again #the man was made to worship and will press prayers against your skin until they finally begin to sink in

[brightnote]

*gets to the chapter of the fanfic I have been most excited to write and have been setting up through countless chapters*

Me: *stares at blank screen*

Me: *starts a totally different fic*

#ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #writers block #i have it but why can't i get it out? #i am already writing two fics at once #this is so hard #i don't even have a social life anymore #i love you all though more than anything

[adamsrcnan]

jeremy being a confirmed natural brunette (with brown eyes) that gets his hair bleached blond at the salon bc he's a rich LA boy. i can already see the unimpressed raised eyebrow from one disapproving jean moreau.

#JEAN GONNA BE JUDGING HIM SO HARD #I CAN'T WAIT #jeremy is already turning out to be such a 'love of my life' #jeremy knox #all for the game #aftg #the sunshine court #tsc

[ganonfan1995]

Burnt out

#initially this was meant to be something else entirely #but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal #ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water #there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career #like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out #i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point #but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills #are abused or exploited #life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting #taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish #taking a break isn't failure #its health #we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such #just waiting and hoping that itll pay off #ive certainly learned my lesson #and im looking forward to brighter horizons #and healthier more respectful ones #ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again #but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover #these tags are lengthy anyways #unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies #be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too #my art #scuttles out of here #i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution #i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell

[front-facing-pokemon]

#spheal #i wish i could post circular images on tumblr. because this one is deserving of a fully circular PNG. i could technically just take a #regular square image and then make the edges transparent to make it *effectively* a circle‚ but like… would that appeal? #if that would appeal then i'll do it. i don't think it would be *too* prohibitively hard. i would be willing to make an addendum #with a circular transparent image of spheal staring at the screen if enough of you want it. either way #this guy rolls everywhere and i think tumblr is gonna like that. i feel like this is gonna end up being a well-liked pokémon amongst tumblr #as in. i feel like. it already is. because. of how it is. i just don't know bc spheal isn't like. one of my favorites #it's cute don't get me wrong but it's just not one i think about all the time. it's one that i'll like if prompted but not unprompted #i'm gonna stop before i dig myself into a hole. i beat totk finally. it was very good and i honestly had way way more fun with it than i did #with botw. i have my criticisms obviously. it's not perfect it's not pmd. but it was very good. and now i've moved onto the next game in my #backlog. which is very long but i'm steadily working through it. hopefully i can get it done before i graduate this december and stop having #any time for the rest of my life ever forever to play video games. dreading that day. but uh #until then i will game. and hang out with my friends. and go on tumblr. and do all these things i like to do. until i no longer can #wow this got depressing i'm gonna Stop here. enjoy spheal

[dragzo]

oh Red Son no-

#i like to headcanon that for years after dbk’s imprisonment #red son didn’t do anything but work on his engineering skills #or just wallowed within his home #pif didnt give a rats butt about what he was doing because she was already miserable dealing with other people #so red son didnt go out much to socialise or learn from the world #meaning there was a lot of things he didnt know about life and himself until after his father was freed #red son has never had any experiece with having feelings #romantic or platonic or anything. he only recognises familial love thats pretty much it #not because he doesnt feel them (duh) but because hes had no one to feel that way about #so becoming friends with goldendragon was pretty hard for him. but he still pulled through #but recognising his feelings for mk being more than that? that was the hardest yet (for everybody) #of course mei figured it out first. and eventually mk did too. but even red son had no clue until they both had to intervene #so red son realising he is no longer as straight as he once thought because of mk is a very real possibility LMAO #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk fanart #mk lmk #lmk qi xiaotian #qi xiaotian #lmk red son #lmk spicynoodles #spicynoodleshipping #monkie kid spicynoodles