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#life is acorn i am squirrel
hotvinimon · 6 months
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Water Cooler
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A/N : Images are not mine. Credits to the owner. Likes, Comments and re-blogs are appreciated. Please don't steal my work. Enjoy ;)
Bokuto Kotaro x female reader
Warnings - English is my second language, showy bra
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"Break time – the ultimate escape from the chaos of daily life. Recess had just ended, and Y/n had a brilliant idea: refill her water bottle. She strutted over to the water cooler, ready for a refreshing sip, and lo and behold, she spotted Bokuto, the self-proclaimed Aquaman, filling bottles like he was on a mission to hydrate the entire Sahara.
"Hey there, Bokuto-kun, how's the water-filling Olympics going?" Y/n greeted him.
Bokuto, looking like he had just discovered a hidden water treasure, replied, "Oh, hey, Y/n-chan! I'm on a roll! And you?"
"I'm good. But are you planning to audition for 'Water Cooler Gladiator' anytime soon?" Y/n quipped.
"Eh? No, these bottles are for the team, not for my secret water kingdom," Bokuto assured her. "Why are you here, though?"
"I just came to rescue my dehydrated water bottle," Y/n explained.
Just as Y/n turned on the tap to quench her bottle's thirst, disaster struck. The tap handle decided it was time for a vacation, causing water to erupt like Old Faithful. Y/n tried to wrestle the gushing water with both hands, but it was like trying to tame a wild hose.
Bokuto, sensing the water crisis, swooped in like a superhero. They joined forces, and after a heroic struggle, they managed to defeat the watery beast. But alas, Y/n was now as soaked as a sponge in a water balloon fight. She began shivering, and her slightly pink bra made an unexpected guest appearance in Bokuto's view. He reacted like a startled flamingo and turned his head away faster than a ninja in stealth mode.
"Thanks a million, Bokuto-Kun. Why the sudden shyness?" Y/n asked. Bokuto remained silent but pointed discreetly at her chest without turning his head. Y/n followed the gesture and instantly turned as red as a tomato in a sauna. She quickly crossed her arms, shielding her modesty.
"Now what in the H2O am I supposed to do? I didn't pack my emergency 'Dry Me Instantly' kit," Y/n lamented.
Bokuto, thinking on his feet, declared, "Fear not! Follow me." He ushered Y/n into the MSBY locker room like a chivalrous knight and embarked on a quest for a spare shirt.
"Will this work?" Bokuto presented an extra jersey of his. Y/n, not one to ponder life's mysteries for long, snatched the shirt with the swiftness of a squirrel nabbing an acorn and disappeared into the changing room. She emerged sporting her new attire.
Bokuto's eyes widened as he beheld her transformation. A blush blossomed on his cheeks, making him look like a confused tomato in a farmer's market.
"Do I pass inspection?" Y/n asked, striking a pose.
"You look more beautiful than a shooting star," Bokuto blurted out.
Both of them turned a shade of red that would put a ripe apple to shame.
"Um… Thank you, Bokuto-Kun."
"Call me Kotaro."
"Thanks, Kotaro."
"It's all good."
Later that day, as you strolled through the MSBY office corridor, Hinata whispered to Atsumu, "I've been saying it all along – those two are definitely a thing."
Atsumu commented, "I thought they were just friends."
Hinata quipped, "Tsumu, friends don't usually ogle each other. "
(Requests are open)
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aristocratic-otter · 6 months
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Howdy y'all!
It seems like I can only find the wherewithal to post on Sunday these days. Please don't stop tagging me for Wednesdays, though! I have hope that I'll build up the free time for it again!
Thanks to @prettygoododds, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @larkral, @wellbelesbian, @artsyunderstudy, @nightimedreamersghost, @rimeswithpurple, @shemakesmeforget, @whatevertheweather, @ileadacharmedlife, @facewithoutheart, @cutestkilla and @alexalexinii for tagging me over the last couple of weeks!
First things first, To Heal A Broken Mind is in the homestretch, y'all! It ought to be done in the next two weeks, and then goes to my beta, and then I finally get to share it with @yellobb-old and the rest of the world! Here's a bit of softness from the final chapter:
“I love you!” I blurt, and then squeak and hide my face in his shoulder. But he doesn’t let me hide, just chuckles and lifts my head up so I’m facing him again. . 
“I love you too,” he says solemnly, and I feel tears burn at the corner of my eyes. “But hold that thought. After tomorrow, say it to me again. And I’ll do the same. And we’ll start our new life…or, at least, my new life, with you in it. For good this time”
Westward Son is also on the downhill slide, both in the story and in the completion of it! I estimate that the final chapter will go up before November. Here's our crew getting to know a new friend:
Acorn knows where all sorts of forest gleanings may be had. He shows us berry bushes that still have ripe fruit, though chilled by the frost. He digs up squirrel hordes of acorns (his namesake, he chuckles), along with other nuts and seeds. And, while he is strictly a plant eater, he isn’t offended when we hunt the beasts of the forest. He even shows us the best places to set traps or string fishing lines. 
When I ask him if he’s bothered by us eating meat in his presence, he’s philosophical. “Should I grow angry at the puma or the wolf because they consume the beautiful deer and rabbits? Their needs are not mine, and so I am content with eating differently from humans, because I am not human.”
The next chapter of Saving Simon Snow is coming soon, lol (and so is Simon) (warning for smutty snippet below):
It’s harder than you’d think to roll your eyes and sneer in disgust when the love of your life is rocking in and out of you, and you feel so full that you’re certain you’ll burst. But I put in the work. 
“Consummated? You’re a moron, Snow,” I grumble, even as he steadily takes me apart. 
He laughs. “I feel like you should call me Simon when I’m fucking you,” he says, panting. 
“You’re a moron, Simon,” I repeat obediently. 
Here's a little bit of tension from Snow Fox (next chapter also up in a day or two!)
Gareth comes into view, his pistol now pressed to the back of Malcolm Grimm’s head. “I tied up the Lieutenant, Sir. Shall I give the rest of these blackguards the same treatment?”
Forgive me, Baz.
“As you please,” I tell Gareth, keeping my tone light. “And no need to be gentle.”
From my CORB, The Heart in The Well, Baz is in a spot of trouble.
A sharp pain in my skull, and I found myself facing a hobgoblin. He was holding me up by my hair. Hobgoblins are related to goblins, but their skin is more greenish-grey than green, and they’re far uglier. But they eat people, just like their prettier cousins. I wondered if I was about to be their next meal. 
I hoped they’d choke on me.
From what I am currently calling "Simon the TikTok Dancer" (which will absolutely not be its final name), try to guess who Simon's teacher is 😉
At least Snow’s obvious progress makes what I have to tell him tonight easier. I’ve been dreading it all day. San Diego State University starts up again on Monday, and so our dance season is over. I have to say good-bye to Snow, at least for the school year. 
I indulge myself in watching him dance, not eager to bring down the mood already. 
I can see spots where his control is rough, and areas where he needs more precision, but truly, he’s already beautiful to watch.
And finally, a little Simon and Baz bonding from Stars, Flowers, and Children:
Simon is bubbling over with excitement, and I can’t help being infected with his enthusiasm. The moment we reach the pond, he spins to face me with a wild grin and says, “We’ve found Blackbeard’s lagoon, Baz! His buried treasure must be nearby!” 
I stare at him. What on Earth is he on about?
Simon’s smile fades a little. When he speaks again, it’s in a softer, more coaxing tone. “Come on Baz. Haven’t you ever played a game of make believe?”
Is that what this is?  “I didn’t grow up around many other children,” I admit, stiffly. 
Simon’s expression softens into something that looks very much like pity. It’s intolerable. 
I'm actually posting well before midnight for once, so I'm going to tag generously. Welcome and join me if you'd like, friends!
@angelsfalling16, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @annabellelux, @bazzybelle, @bloodiedpixie, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @captain-aralias, @cosmicalart, @confused-bi-queer, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @gekkoinapeartree, @giishu, @hushed-chorus, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @ileadacharmedlife, @j-nipper-95, @jbrrring, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @larkral, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @messofthejess, @melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @palimpsessed, @sillyunicorn
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sonosvegliato · 3 months
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you always rb fic recs but what’s YOUR favorite fic? one that you will reread forever?
*sweats* I know you just said one but I've been meaning to do this for ages, to contribute to the greater good of this fandom, but the problem is I go so far down the bookmark/history rabbit hole I get sucked in all over again. Me and my bookmarks are like a squirrel and its acorns; I save 'em up then forget about them and years later it's like I've been blessed with a flood of good fic food.
been a number and a name by WynterSky and everything else by them. I love this fic. I love this author. I feel lucky just to have stumbled upon any of their work---their 1990s Tim/Kon work lives in my heart and I'll highly suggest it to anyone to give it a shot, even if you're not a fan of ships or TimKon. My bookmark note: CREAMY ORANGE POPSICLE OF FICS TRY TRY TRY
The Power of Family and This Stalker I Found by JackHawksmoor. Bookmark note:
hands in my hair mcfreaking incredible can i learn to write adrenaline scenes like this is there a course where is that course also i need to learn how to bedazzle a sash for this author a sash of wow so everyone knows wow WOW if anyone goes through my bookmarks click this one click this one i promise your circadian will be so messed up but you will like it you will mcfreaking enjoy the blurry word at hour 2 you will drink from the fountain of wow i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster like legit like stomach in my ribcage throw up out of excitement and also fear i've never actually been on a big kid rollercoaster ahHHHHH pacing flipping tables i don't know man I DON'T KNOW this is without words this is beat my fists through the fourth wall fall into the fifth dimension into the white water rapids that's where the fountain of wow comes from
READ THIS FIC
Anything by Vamillepudding. I am not subscribed to many authors, mostly because I'm forgetful, but I did remember to subscribe to them---and whenever I get a little alert my heart goes rahrahrah. Extremely talented writer.
Anything by incogneat_oh. One of the first authors I ever read; I found them over PINTEREST over a screenshotted tumblr post. I had no idea who this Tim character was, but thus my life was changed forever. Story in particular was Just Like You, but I read everything---and they have LOTS. God bless.
Obedience by Sohotthateveryonedied. I read lots from them, but Obedience I read very early into my tumble into Batman and it just sort of floats into my head from time to time, the way some fics do.
The Next Life by spqr. Another one that floats around the brain. Bookmark note: STUPENDOUS
contemplate the beauty of the earth by downwithtyranny. I'm a bit biased on this one, but it's short and sweet and pleasantly different. And written by a very smart person who I know for a fact picks up roadkill off the side of the road and fixes them up nice and pretty for study (if you ever meet a real-life-not-a-medical-doctor-biologist, you're in for a treat). Bookmark note:
Human achievement at its finest 👏 👏👏
s c i e n c e r u l e s
And for the holiday season---only you will have stars that can laugh by silverwhittlingknife. Though I did go through all their works---SUPERB Dick characterization.
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notebookofthedead · 9 months
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I recently saw a post about a similar concept - "TotK but Vaati's there (and maybe VaaGan??)" - so here's the fic idea that's been living in my head rent-free for the past few weeks
The Moon God AU
(Btw, this post is Very long and contains Many spoilers for TotK, AoC, BotW, MC, and FSA. Just giving y'all a heads up)
Foreword
Just some basic context before we get into it: I am obsessed with the concept of God!Vaati and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands
Also, I've seen a lot of people speculating on where AoC/BotW/TotK take place in the timeline - and, personally, I'm partial to the theory that this is a parallel but distinct universe, separate from the rest of the franchise but mirroring the events we see in other Zelda games. So, this AU subscribes to that theory
Part I: New Moon
After many less than successful attempts, the Golden Goddesses, creators of all things, forged their fourth world. This was their final world, hopefully the last one they would ever make: strong as Din, lively as Farore, with inhabitants as clever and wise as Nayru. Learning from their mistakes, they did not grant this world a boon of absolute power, but instead, a multitude of limited boons, sacred stones which could amplify one's pre-existing abilities. They entrusted these stones to the Gods of Fate, who they pulled from the ashes of the previous Hyrule
The Sun, the Goddess of Light and Time. A calm and steady presence, her previous iteration spent uncountable years in mortal form, with all the drama and intense feeling that comes with it, and yet, it doesn't bother her. Hylia travels through time as a Zora swims laps across a stream, and like water, the memories and emotions flow right off of her. For she has lived a million lives, and if she remembered them all as dearly as her current, she would not have the strength nor the energy to do her job as a Guardian Goddess
The Moon, the God of Shadow and Space. Quiet and brooding, he lived only one life before this and he clings to that life as if clinging to his sense of identity. He was a sorcerer. He was a demon. He was a pawn to forces far greater than him, yet now, he is one of the most powerful beings in the known universe. Vaati does not go backwards or forward; he stays still as a million possibilities branch out before him, all the things that were or that could have been. He does not see the greater picture, but the minute details that could change history - this suits his position well, but has also made him far more sentimental than his counterpart
In this world, Hylia and Vaati are siblings, having been tasked with maintaining the Gold Ones' divine plan. With her ability to both navigate and guide its rushing path, Hylia manages the flow of time so that the world can keep moving forward. With his ability to reach through the void and bend it to his will, Vaati manipulates the contents of reality to ensure that fated events happen the way they're supposed to
Together, they live in a palace in the skies with the Zonai as their faithful subjects
It's nice, actually. Without the scheming, or the murder attempts, or the influence of Demise's curse, Vaati and Hylia get along surprisingly well. They're both clever and intelligent, fascinated by all the wonderful technology their subjects are developing. They care so deeply, though they express it in different ways: for their subjects, for this world they've been given. She's a sunny glade, protective and warm, always trying to provide for those under her watch but still maintaining a sense of distance, like an oak tree passively dropping acorns for the local squirrels. He's a steady downpour, the kind that forces you to take the day off, to huddle up by a fire with a good book and a warm beverage - stubborn and cold but truly well-meaning
For thousands of years, they rule from their shared palace, working together to nurture this world and growing closer in the process. By the time they actively have to maintain the world's fated path, they do genuinely care for each other as siblings
But, there's always been a cloud hovering over her brother. He's always been more sentimental than her, at least since their rebirth as the Sun and Moon, and she understands that the stuff that happened in his past life still affects him. But, she can't provide him all of the support he needs. She just can't. If she opened the floodgates of her past - that is truly where madness lies. Mentally, emotionally, she would not be able to bear the full brunt of all of her lives, so on a fundamental level, she cannot fully relate to his struggles. She has purposefully blocked off that entire part of her mind. She knows about everything that she experienced as Zelda, but it's as if she read it in a book. When she thinks of that period, she feels nothing
She wishes more than anything that she could alleviate his troubles, but out of all the things she knows she can provide her brother - companionship, a warm hug, an attentive listener - that is not on the list
Meanwhile, Vaati sees how much his sister cares and how hard she tries to be there for him, but he understands that due to this fundamental difference in how they are, she just can't do it. He still appreciates everything she can - and does - give him, and does his best to give back in kind
Part II: Waxing Crescent
Before they know it, thousands of years have passed by. The Zonai descend to the surface on their Gods' orders, with the secret stones in tow, and after a while, most return to the skies. Only two remain to kickstart the founding of Hyrule - just as planned
All that's left is to wait and watch
It's only natural that he's been watching that man, Vaati reasons. He's at the heart of this absolute shitstorm the Gold Ones have planned for Hyrule, so of course Vaati's keeping a close eye on him. It has nothing to do with who he was in the last world or their short-lived partnership
(That man used him as cannon fodder. He took advantage of the Wind Demon's instability, then disposed of him as soon as the drawbacks outweighed the benefits of keeping him around. He left Vaati to die
Why did the Goddesses have to make him hot? He was so much easier to hate when he was a horrible pig demon!)
The thing is, Vaati never knew King Ganondorf of the Gerudo. He only knew Ganondorf the Demon King, the selfish asshole who stabbed him in the back and left him for dead, and- and he finds himself fascinated by this man who seems so familiar, yet so not. Ganondorf is still at least a little selfish, determined to maintain his authority over the desert even with the birth of this shining new kingdom to the east, but he's not that bad?? His subjects are as well cared for as any, especially considering the harsh lands they call home. Without the Triforce to corrupt it, his mind is as sharp as ever; he's brilliant at tactics and hand-to-hand combat, but also math, sciences, art - he knows how to play the pipe organ - he's even kind to children -
Vaati has to speak with him. He absolutely must.
The best way to describe this Vaati's human form is "Sheikah but not." To Ganondorf, who has met very few of the elusive Shadow Folk, he almost looks like something out of a story: moon white hair, one blood red eye, skin so incredibly pale he looks sick, yet he shows no other sign of illness. His features, slender as they are, look perfectly smooth and healthy, to the point where he's nearly too perfect. And that's not all - his tapered ears are abnormally long, almost like those of the Zonai. His teeth, when he grins, are sharp as a molduga's, and his nails are solid gold claws. His attire is in a style typical of the Sheikah, but far more lavish. Richer than even the Sheikah Chief, who values humbleness over luxury. Regardless of the gold and jewels littering his body, his clothes are dark, such that when he lifts his hood over his face, he disappears into the night
Ganondorf has no idea how this guy keeps sneaking past all his guards, nor why he keeps doing this. At first, he even entertains the thought of this being some hare-brained scheme by King Rauru. Send an attractive little thing to seduce him and make him weak, distracted, while the Gerudo people are still sorting out their relationship with the newly founded Kingdom of Hyrule. But, the mysterious stranger insists he sneaks into Gerudo Town purely out of a personal interest that he refuses to elaborate on
Over the course of several months, Vaati spends countless nights in the desert - but only nights, "so the Sun won't see." Not only is he attractive, Ganondorf learns, but clever and funny, with a dry, morbid sense of humor. Exceedingly well read, but also adventurous, with a laid-back attitude that drives Ganondorf insane while simultaneously pushing him to have more fun than he's had since he was a child. He feels like he knows hardly anything about his nightly visitor, but somehow, Vaati manages to pry practically his whole life story out of him. Before he knows it, Vaati's wormed his way into becoming one of Ganon's dearest friends and closest confidantes
(It's not obsessive, Vaati thinks to himself each time he sneaks out of the sky palace. It's not "a concerning pattern of self-destructive behavior" for him to seek out his former partner-turned-one-sided-enemy... who doesn't even remember him... He's just keeping an eye on the future Demon King, as God of the Moon and Shadow and Space. He is doing his job!
His sister has no idea what she's talking about)
But through all of this, the topic does inevitably come up: Ganondorf's plans for Hyrule. Well, what currently exists of them. All he knows for certain is that he cannot let Hyrule boss him around. Frankly, he'd rather die than lose his crown to that overgrown rabbit. And Vaati, he knows how this ends. He knows that - somehow - Ganondorf is going to learn about the secret stones, and do whatever necessary to acquire one. And -
And if he's going to learn about them either way, does it really matter if Vaati tells him a bit earlier than the Gold Ones intended? He's still generally following the plan... isn't he?
(He is toeing the line, he is toeing it so hard right now and Hylia knows it. Yes, this is technically according to the Plan, but with Vaati's history, and his emotional attachment to said history, and his rapidly growing emotional attachment to this reincarnated person from his past, this could spin wildly out of control. This could spin so far out of control that she and her brother will not be able to get this world back on track, and then -
When the dust settles -
When the Gold Ones find out - )
Okay, just saying, he really does have to attend the peace summit between all the peoples of this newly united Hyrule. Not just because Ganondorf's there - thank you very much - but because as a God of Fate, it is his duty to ensure that this meeting goes the way it's supposed to. And, you know, if that means personally helping Ganon arrange the theft of one of the secret stones, then he is just doing his job in a slightly different manner than anyone expected
Look, he's not even touching that time-traveling Light Princess over there, and all without Hylia having to ask. He is doing his job no matter how nostalgic it feels, and no matter how much fun he's having. It's just been a while since he last got to properly scheme, and it'll be a while yet until he can do it again, so he's enjoying it while it lasts! It doesn't have to mean anything!
And yeah, it's especially nice making all these plans with someone who's actually on his level, not just intellectually but ethically - and, Goddesses, has he really spent so long with only Hylia to talk to? Hylia? She's like a brick wall crossed with a nightlight, fuck, he is so, so glad he and Ganon are on speaking terms again
But then, of course, there's a snag: none of the secret stone holders would ever go to a private location with King Ganondorf, not when that little time-traveler has made her distrust abundantly clear
Alright, so technically he's really, really not supposed to shapeshift into the Princess in order to lure Queen Sonia onto a balcony and throw a dagger at her throat, but with Ganon laying across his desk, his face wrinkled from worry, his teeth slowly grinding themselves to dust -
With all those memories floating around his head, of his ancient palace in the skies, of the decadence he filled it with, of all the nobles and knights bowing before the one-eyed Wind Demon -
With adrenaline in his godly veins, the thrill of being at court again, scheming and plotting and planning something both brilliant and terrible -
If he has the exact thing Ganondorf needs to pull off their plans, how can he keep that to himself?
That night, he watches as the Queen's body hits the earth, lifeless. As Ganondorf brings her secret stone to his head and it slots into place. He watches brown skin turn to ash as his very blood turns black, as jet-colored horns sprout from a crown of flames and as sheer power fills the air, smoke-thick. His heart pounds, which is insane considering he hasn't had a heart since he was mortal
Then, as the Princess screams, and as the King of Light looks on in horror, Ganon turns to him with those gold and black eyes and smiles. It's not your typical evil grin - no, this look is infectious, filled with the giddiness of what they've done. The knowledge that they did this together. And beneath that, trapped in the depths of his eyes, an undeniable affection
Vaati steps forward, the disguise melting away. Taking Ganon's hand, his own glowing in the moonlight, he doesn't hear the Hyrulean royal family - or, what's left of it - skittering away. All he hears is the thrum of magic connecting them; all he sees is the man he's made a God; all he can think is that still, this isn't right. This man has given him everything, has trusted Vaati with everything that makes him Ganon, yet what has Vaati given him? Power, yes, enough to almost make them equals, but with his own might, Vaati could take that from him in a second. No, if Ganon can trust him so dearly, then Vaati should trust him the same. Only then can they truly call themselves partners
That night, as soon as they have a moment to themselves, Vaati sheds his human skin to reveal his true form
That night, Ganondorf lays him back on silk sheets and worships him the way he deserves
Monsters rampage. The Moon glows red, and Vaati lets it. He doesn't care - not about anything outside of this room. The whole world could be going down in flames, and it wouldn't matter to him. He gives himself to the Demon King, to the man he's come to love, and gives himself to the kaleidoscope of excitement and pleasure, the red and black feelings he's never had a proper outlet for
It's the best night of his life
In the days that follow, he doesn't go back to the sky palace. Surely Hylia and the Zonai have already learned of his betrayal; he doesn't so much as hit up a Goddess statue to confirm it. For so long, he'd been operating under the assumption that Ganondorf would lose. That the Gold Ones' plan would carry through. But he's a God of Fate; if anyone could defy the Gold Ones, it would be him. So for the first time since he started watching the Gerudo King, he lets himself imagine a future without the plan. They would bring the kingdom to its knees, force all its inhabitants to bow before them. Together, they would build a new palace to call home, darkly rich and precisely to their tastes. Together, they would rule for the rest of eternity, the Moon and the Void, Fate and Death, and mold this world in their image
The remnants of the Hyrulean monarchy run and hide like the rats they are. They gather up the Sages - and go ahead, Vaati thinks. Let them! When they lay siege to the castle, they will find not one but two Gods waiting
The Demon King alone may not be enough to defy the Gold Ones, but surely with the Moon God's help, the two of them can pull it off
Right?
(Spoiler alert: no, they cannot.)
The worst part of it is, they come so close. The Sages are ashy and worn from the fight, but Vaati and Ganon are as good as new. Of course, Vaati knows exactly what Rauru's about to do next, but he can stop it. His dominion over Shadow directly counteracts his sister's gift of Light
Right as Rauru lunges for Ganondorf, Vaati moves to step in, darkness swirling in his extended palm, but then -
There's light not just from Rauru, but from the Princess - and not just the Princess, that awful wench! That uncaring hag possesses her, boosting Zelda's light magic just enough to hold Vaati back while Rauru carries out the will of destiny
Even after all their plotting and hard work, the end result is the same: Ganondorf in chains, Rauru his warden, and the Sages victorious. A new sun rises over Hyrule, and the Moon disappears into the fading dark
They've lost.
Part III: Blood Moon, Eclipsed
He doesn't just lose the battle; it feels as if he has lost everything. His partner is gone, sealed deep beneath their enemies' new capital, where he can't reach him. The realm that was his home since the dawn of this world is forever closed off to him in the aftermath of his betrayal. His sister - his "darling" sister - the mere thought of her makes him want to shred this reality beneath his claws. Should fate play out as intended, it will be many, many years until he can free Ganondorf from his prison
All Vaati has is time, and the space to do something with it
He spends the first millennium in a rage. In the last world, he spent his whole life wanting things he wasn't allowed to have, yet doing everything within his power to get those things anyways. It's been eons since he was last told no. And, the more he thinks about it, the more he wants it, not just to relive his glory days as the Wind Demon, but to better enjoy his current life as the Moon God. He wants someone who can understand what he went through as the gods' plaything, who can comfort him when the memories are too much to bear and be fully emotionally available while he does it
At the end of the day, he cannot hate his sister. He can't even resent her for more than a thousand years. She has always done her best to be a good sister to him, while also being good to herself, and he can't begrudge her that. This has always been true of their relationship and in all likelihood, it always will be: Hylia can't give Vaati everything he needs, and in order to move on, they just need to be okay with that
After the first millennia or so, Vaati finally approaches a Goddess statue. The siblings talk for hours, from the coral-toned sunset to the grey-blue dawn, and they do come to an understanding. They both fully accept that while they do love each other, they care about each other so much, and they will always be so important to one another, they cannot be everything to each other. They can't give everything to each other. And if there's something particularly lacking in one of their lives, then they will have to branch out and develop other relationships in order to fill in those gaps
The only part that Hylia is truly concerned about is, why does it have to be him? Why does it have to be The Demon King?! Of course, she respects her brother's decision, and she respects that he's going to do whatever he wants anyways. She just doesn't understand what Vaati sees in that guy. What in the world would make this love worth it??
But frankly, she doesn't need to understand it. Regardless of all the drama and conflict, the siblings are able to put aside their differences and be friends again. They both agree that Vaati should continue to lay low, and absolutely should not try and return to the sky - Hylia may be willing to forgive him but the Zonai are not - so Vaati stays in the mortal realm in his human disguise. Despite the distance, Vaati and Hylia talk to each other at least once a week through the Goddess statues, and once a month, Hylia even sneaks down to earth in her own disguise so they can get brunch or something
Yes, they have their fights. Yes, they have their disagreements. But what matters is that they can talk through their issues and be okay in the end - and that's what they do!
Not only does Vaati take the opportunity to fix his relationship with his sister, but he also has plenty of time to reflect on what happened between him and Ganon. In hindsight, while his feelings in the moment were very real and very intense, his behavior was impulsive. Not very well thought out. 🙃 Now that he's gotten some distance from the Imprisoning War, he can recognize while he still generally wants the same things that he wanted then - companionship, love, understanding, an equal partner who he can build a beautiful life with - the way he went about trying to get those things was... not exactly the best
As much as it pains him to admit it, he cannot fight Fate. Not even the Sun and Moon can defy their creators' will
However, he has thousands of years ahead of him to spend searching for a loophole! : D
In this time, Vaati travels the world like he never could back when he passively watched from his sister's sky palace. He goes to every continent, climbs every mountain, enjoys food and art so far away that even the most well-read Hyrulean would have no idea what he's talking about. Whenever he does return to that shining kingdom blessed by the Goddess, he goes unrecognized - after his betrayal, worship of the Moon God was forbidden in Hyrule. Not even the Sheikah, the only tribe to remember Hylia's fallen brother, know what they're looking at when they see this strange man who seems so familiar, yet so not
But between all his travels and adventures, Fate looms over Vaati's head like a guillotine. It's always lingering in the back of his mind, a buzzing gnat he just can't figure out. He watches the Golden Age of the Sheikah unfold, delights himself in studying this new technology, the most advanced that Hyrule's seen since the Zonai left, as it develops! He's always surprised by how clever humans can be!
Though, of course, there was one human who surprised him far more than any other. Since the first, Blood Moons have become a semi-regular phenomenon (occurring at the same rate that they do in real life), a lingering reminder of the union between the Moon and Void. Every time that blood red sky returns, he sits beneath the stars and thinks of his lost love
He doesn't regret it, not for a second. He chose to love the Demon King, and he will continue to choose this until the bitter end. But, what if his plans don't work? What if he can't free Ganondorf from that golden thread? What if he's spent all these years longing for something he will never have?
The First Calamity comes and goes. With the divine beasts and the guardians at their sides, the Hero and Princess seal the Demon King away for another ten thousand years
Vaati's plan fails
The next time his sister visits, she holds him while he releases all the pain, all the sorrow that's been filling up the cavity of his chest. She holds him and wonders why her brother puts himself through this, for so little reward
Even then, as he sobs into Hylia's shoulder, his mind whirs with possibilities
He has so few chances left. He will not fail again - he can't.
Part IV: Waning Gibbous
It's like this: at the beginning of this world, the Gold Ones gave the Sun and Moon a script. A step-by-step plan of exactly how this world's fate was supposed to go. But, their plan only stretches so far. There is a point where it stops
Now, Vaati and Hylia always assumed that the Gold Ones would return then to deliver the next script, but they don't know when, or how, or what. There could very easily be a period of time between scripts, where Fate doesn't matter - and this time could be lengthened if certain crucial events were to happen a bit sooner than intended. By, say, I don't know, a hundred years? Certainly, that is enough time to get some work done!
So, all Vaati has to do is use his Golden powers to manipulate the contents of reality so that the Demon King dies - for good - a hundred years early. For a God, death is entirely fixable. He just has to resurrect his partner, grant him the divinity he deserves - true divinity - talk him down from destroying Hyrule of course, then spend the rest of their century-long grace period disentangling the threads of Fate from his soul. By the time the Gold Ones return, the Demon King will be a free man
They may create another Ganondorf to fill the hole left behind, but this one will be Vaati's, and they will not take him again
It's a cold night in the desert, especially at the mouth of the highlands and the tunnels beneath. A lone figure emerges from the sands wrapped in purple and black, his cloak hanging low over his face like a funeral shroud. At the sound of the bow strings' release, a torrent of wind swirls around him, fast enough to create a shield against the barrage of arrows. It blows the hood over the stranger's head to reveal a young man who looks so familiar, yet not. Moon white hair, blood red eye, yet his skin is sickly. His cheeks are too full, his skin too smooth. His ears are too long, and when he speaks, his teeth are as sharp as a beast's. He doesn't look Sheikah, especially not to a tribe so closely related - he looks like a thing pretending to be human
Among the Yiga, who have perhaps become even more concerned with the preservation of ancient knowledge than their humble cousins, there is an old, old legend from the very founding of Hyrule. It speaks of a God who allowed the Demon King to become his equal, who allowed red-hot Malice to infect the full moon and bathe the kingdom in its tainted light. According to legend, this God is the guardian of traitors and oath-breakers, the father of keese and other one-eyed beasts. It is to him that their ancestors prayed when they left the foolish Sheikah, and according to their beliefs, it was he who guided them to this safe haven in the Gerudo Highlands where they have remained hidden for thousands of years
And according to the old legend, the messenger of that God takes the form of a one-eyed sorcerer
The sorcerer introduces himself as Vaati. He says he would like to help them resurrect the Calamity
In the lead up to the Second Calamity, things are a bit... tense... among the Demon King's legions of evil. The Yiga almost immediately realized that Vaati was someone of importance and have offered him all the due respect, but Astor, who knows nothing of this ancient legend, has not exactly Appreciated some random Other Mage showing up (out of the blue) to steal his spotlight
... Not to mention, the harbinger likes Vaati more than him. The normally cold, cruel little thing suddenly becomes an overly affectionate cat whenever it sees him, rubbing its egg-shaped body against his legs, beeping and whooping wildly. It's actually a bit disruptive, as the harbinger keeps interrupting their strategy meetings to climb into Vaati's lap or otherwise demand his attention
Gods, the harbinger that Astor found, that had chosen him to resurrect the Calamity - it prefers that guy?!
As a result, Vaati and Astor end up with a very passive aggressive relationship. Or at least, on Astor's end. Astor despises Vaati, yet the man himself is not at all bothered by it. In fact, Vaati finds it amusing, how shameless this fortune teller is in his jealousy. Most of the time, Vaati teases him not out of genuine dislike, but because he thinks Astor's reactions are funny. But truly, he feels no ill will towards the prophet
Not until he finds the ritual
Unlike his allies, this plan to resurrect the Calamity is very personal to the "wind mage." He has a lot riding on this: his relationship, his future, whether he will be spending said future furious and alone or with the greatly missed company of a true equal. Of the man who completes him. So, he will not be leaving anything to chance, and especially not within his own army
Astor is very loud about the fact that he has somehow acquired an ancient ritual which he plans to use to resurrect his Lord, the Calamity. Vaati, who has his own ritual, which he is confident will revive his partner in all his glory, and not as a mindless beast like the last attempt ten thousand years ago - he is fairly certain that Astor's ritual is the same one he used previously, which required a significant amount of human sacrifice and only resurrected Ganondorf's angry porcine spirit in the form of Calamity Ganon
So obviously, Vaati can't just Let Him Do That. And, he can't just destroy the notebook where it's been written and call it a day either; any mage worth their salt memorizes their most important spells
and that's how Vaati ends up bidding the wind to hold Astor over the bottomless pit while he threatens his life. Over a piece of paper.
(No, he is not stressed -! Do you want to go in the pit too?!)
After this incident is when Astor finally bites the bullet and asks Kohga & Sooga what is going on??? Because clearly the Yiga, who have been paying Vaati all the proper respects since he arrived, know Something that Astor doesn't, and it would be really nice if they could fill him in - !
Sighing, Kohga sits him down and tells him the story of the Moon God
Astor spends the rest of the day holed up in his room, alternating between having a breakdown and dying of mortification
Vaati works for the Moon God. Vaati might actually be the Moon God. Judging from the Yiga understanding of this myth, he might as well be the Calamity's husband.
And Astor has spent this whole time antagonizing him.
Things settle down a bit after that. Astor does eventually leave his room and rejoin society, and his attitude towards Vaati seems to have miraculously cleared up. Vaati has now successfully asserted himself as the guy in charge of the Yiga Clan + Astor, and absolutely no one is going to dispute that claim, so all that's left is to execute his plan
The date of the Princess's seventeenth birthday arrives. As she descends from the peak of Mount Lanayru, the earth shakes. The wind howls. The air fills with heart-pounding violence. From the depths of Hyrule Castle, a mighty cry bursts forth - and with it, not one beast, but several. The Calamity hasn't even returned, yet all the Sheikah-made guardians turn from blue to that infected violet. Rapidly, the machines usher all human life out of Castle Town, firing at anyone who fails to comply, until the whole city sits empty. They don't spread out from there, but maintain the border, only occasionally setting off their lasers to keep the displaced Hylians from getting too close
The Champions rush to their divine beasts, only to find the war machines have already been taken over by whatever Calamity-related force this is, and refuse to let their pilots in. Anyone who tries to approach finds themself narrowly escaping a horrible death - and yet, not one of them actually falls to their beasts' might
Someone - or something - has commandeered the entire ancient mechanical Sheikah army within a few hours. Whatever this force is, it has the ability to conquer the whole kingdom, right here, right now. And yet, it does nothing. It just holds onto the overpowered war machines so that the Hyruleans can't do anything either
It is at this point that Vaati, a hundred Yiga following in his shadow, makes his way to Hyrule Castle. He cares not for the personal objects that the Hylians left behind, nor the lavish palace at his disposal - not yet, at least. He heads straight for the stairwells, down into the cavernous heart of Hylian civilization, venturing so deep that the stairs become a rough slope and the sun a distant memory. Far, far below Din's earth, where Nayru's water comes in drips and spurts, where Farore's wind smells of musk and decay, he walks past all the crags and columns. He only glances at the carvings that tell their story, the glyph of a crescent moon going dark. The Yiga break away as they go to ensure no one tries to play hero and follow him, so by the time he reaches the bottom, the sorcerer-turned-god stands alone
At the head of the last decline - and he knows it by the Malice in the air, so thick he can almost taste it - he stops. It's - it's been so long. So many years, and all he could ever think about was this moment, but they were so young then. Drunk on their recklessness. In this new world, it won't be the same
It will never be the same, but it's still worth a try
Quietly, he descends to the final landing - and there he is. Without thinking, without breathing, he glides to Ganondorf's side. He's so thin, wiry; the man he knew was built like a tank, meaty and strong. Now, his skin clings to his bones with no reprieve, to what little muscle survived the over ten thousand years that his body has lain prone. He still wears his court-appropriate clothes and his fine jewels, but all of it's gone limp and worn. So has his hair, where it hangs loosely from his head, more like an old, fraying curtain than the bright veil of flames it once was
No pulse stirs beneath his wrist, nor breath beneath his ribs, but deep within his chest, Vaati can feel that spark of life. He breathes dark magic between lipless teeth, just enough to kickstart his heart
Those eyes - gold and black, razor sharp, just as he remembers - jerk open with a gasp before narrowing in on him
Vaati, with his perfectly smooth, supple skin that not only glows from the ghostly green light behind him, but radiates with its own divinity. With his long, tapered ears, and his delicate features that belie the sheer power coursing through his golden veins
Vaati, his Moon and his Stars that he never thought he would see again, buried and forgotten so deep underground
"Vaati," he croaks, "you returned."
"Of course I did," the Moon God half sobs, his hand rising to caress a hollow cheek, ever so careful of his claws.
"I hoped you wouldn't see me like this." He has to choke the words out, his throat must be so dry, his whole body must ache, yet he pushes on anyway.
"Ganondorf," Vaati says, grabbing his face with both hands. He looks him in the eyes, yellow against red. "You know as well as I do the importance of maintaining one's appearance. But, you also know that appearances are for other people. Not for us.
"I would love you as a god; I would love you as a man. I would love you in your prime, as a shining example of the human form, and I would love you right now, even if a maggot were to crawl out of your ear. I would love you as a beast... for I love you as yourself. I will love you no matter what, for that is the fate I chose. And if you so much as think of denying me that -"
"Never." Ganondorf replies, "I will never say no to your glorious moonlight, the only light I need. I only wish to be worthy of it -" dust puffs between his gritted teeth as he cuts off with a wheeze.
Vaati hushes him: "Rest, you fool. Don't hurt yourself further. I must go for now, but only to arrange your release. I will be back far sooner this time."
"Make haste, my love," he breathes as Vaati brings plush lips to his brow. "I can only go so long without your sweet embrace."
"You've gone long enough," retorts Vaati with a laugh. "And it will only be a few days more."
He leaves with his heart in his throat, but with the certainty that his words were true. It will only be a few more days until his partner is free, and he can begin the next phase of his plan.
(And yes, Rauru was there The Whole Time, Maintaining The Seal // screams )
The first thing Vaati does is order the Yiga to find and block off every entrance to the castle, except for one. It's a hole in the wall - quite literally - leading from docks, through a complex series of tunnels, eventually spilling out into the inner sanctum. The mere existence of this passage is highly classified information, known only to the Hyrulean royal family and their Sheikah protectors. It's far more discrete an entrance than the front door
Should the Princess return - and she will - that is the path she will take
Vaati requests the Yiga renovate the tunnels, so that they lead not to the surface-dwelling heart of Hyrule Castle, but to the frozen one buried beneath it. With the ancient guardians at their beck and call, the task should take mere days, and in the meantime, Vaati occupies himself with other pursuits
On the day of the Princess's seventeenth birthday, the Calamity was supposed to rise up from the depths and wipe Castle Town off the face of the earth. His Malice would spread like a virus from guardian to guardian, divine beast to divine beast, laying ruin to everything in its path. Surely, it would have been a sight to behold, but in the long run, it was not to their benefit for Vaati's "artificial Calamity" to slaughter the masses. For starters, his sister would be furious
But, most importantly, killing the Champions would delay his plans by a hundred years - thereby eliminating his hard won grace period. The Gold Ones were vague about much of the Second Calamity, but they were precise on this matter: there are only so many people who the Gold Ones would permit to become Sages or Heroes, and the Hero cannot kill the Demon King for the final time without the Sages' help. The Champions weren't exactly supposed to become the Sages of their respective peoples, but they would do
And they wouldn't force Vaati to wait another century to revive his partner
So, the first item on his list: did the Champions survive? Narrowly, but yes. And that Hero is still around and kicking, although Vaati doubts he'll be traveling alone for a while yet - from his observations, some of the Hero's friends appear worse than his own sister. Good! Let the twerp suffer
Second of all: the Princess. Alive and well, just like the rest, though disheartened since her powers have yet to awaken. Devastated that her childhood home has been overrun by the machines that were supposed to save them. Easy pickings.
As a God of the Sky and a former Demon of Winds, he sends her messages on the breeze: she must return to the castle. There must be something there that can help her, that can help all of them. There's a secret entrance that only the royal family knows about - surely that will be safe enough? She'll go with a small party, small enough that they should be able to hide from whatever forces have taken hold over Hyrule... and, perhaps if her friends are going to be so unsupportive of her plan, she'll just have to sneak off alone, save for her bodyguard
The Princess and the Hero venture deep, deep below the castle they know and love, deep into the cruel abyss that lies beneath. And when they reach the bottom, they unleash the Demon King
The upheaval shakes Hyrule one hundred years early. Vaati watches as the young Princess falls and disappears, as her Hero is nearly consumed by Malice before the King of Light pulls him away, as the castle rises high up into the sky and as islands drop from the clouds. And all the while, the guardians and beasts - his army of cold-blooded machines - stand stalwart, their blood glowing red
He's so close. So close.
While the Princess galivants through time, while the Hero runs rampant through the countryside and the Champions awaken to their new destiny, Vaati returns to find his love in the inner sanctum, his joints creaking with every movement - but he's moving. He's alive... to an extent. Though, as well as Vaati can accept his partner being trapped in such a weakened state, it would not do for the Demon King to appear like this in front of their subjects
That night, he gathers all the dark power he can: from the air, from the Moon, from the anger and fear and pain of the Hyrulean people, from his very soul and the equally dark spirit beside him. It pools in the royal baths, filling the room-sized "basin" with thick, sludge-like, black and bright violet Malice, so powerful that the Yiga have been ordered to stay far, far away from this side of the castle, lest the gloom radiating off of it make them sick
Malice is a corrosive thing, and in such a concentrated form, it can burn the flesh straight off a Hylian's bones. But, it wouldn't dare harm its masters, not as they gingerly step into the pool, not as the Moon submerges his love in pure, liquid Void. The tar-like substance hides his revitalization from Vaati's sight, but he feels his skin soften beneath his hands, his muscles grow and his frame fill out. When he emerges once more, his face is the same one Vaati found so striking all those years ago: a strong jaw, a prominent nose, thick facial hair that cannot distract from the razor sharp cunning behind those hawk-gold eyes. Even his jewelry gleams with unholy might
Fuck, after holding that same position for the past ten thousand years, he must be so stiff. They spend the rest of the night working it all out of his body
High above, the Blood Moon rises and doesn't set
It takes a while for the Hero to liberate all the temples, awaken the Sages, and also do whatever other random sidequests he sets his mind to - what this means is that Vaati and Ganondorf have at least a couple months to hang out until they actually have to worry about it. They spend this time relearning each other. Physically, yes, but also emotionally, socially. It's been so many thousands of years since they were last together; they nearly forgot the way Vaati's eye widens when he's reading a good book, or how Ganondorf's lips press tight when he's trying not to laugh at a joke he thinks is "beneath him"
While the guardians maintain their borders, and the Yiga work hard to continue where their ancient ancestors left off in the development of Sheikah technology, the two demons, reunited at last, finally get to just be together for a bit and enjoy themselves! For the first time since the Imprisoning War!!
Vaati didn't think it was possible, but somehow, he falls even harder for Ganon. He can picture their future together so vividly; he can practically taste it. Once this is all over, they can settle the depths beneath Hyrule, which have yet to be claimed by any race and are suitably far from Hylia's skies. It'll be dark, sure, but it'll be peaceful. Maybe they'll take some of the Yiga with them to act as their loyal subjects. Without the Gold Ones' plan looming over them, they could erect a whole kingdom beneath the earth if they wanted to. But most importantly, they'll be able to start and end every day with their arms around each other
And no, Vaati does not at any point inform Ganon of his actual plans. He fears that his love is too invested in this whole take over the world plot, and that if he even tries to get Ganon to see reason, he just won't listen. But, it's not entirely Ganondorf’s fault. He is as much a slave to destiny as Link and Zelda right now. Vaati has simply been blessed with the ability to see the pull of Fate for what it is, and he knows that he just needs to get this story to the finish line. Only then, in that brief period between curtains, will he be able to seize the puppeteer's cross and cut his love free
Yes, the fact that he's doing everything within his power to hasten his partner's death weighs on him. He spends many sleepless nights with his hands barely brushing Ganon's chest, his shoulders, his face, just soaking in every detail he can before it's too late. He is yet again going to watch the love of his life perish, and it's the hardest decision he's ever made, but it has to be done. He can't fight Fate. All he can do is turn it into something more bearable
(Madness, to Hylia, is willfully putting yourself through the same torture over and over again with only the faintest hope of success
And what of the girl? Vaati shoots back, dark and vicious, hissing to hide the sound of him coming apart at the seams. Your former vessel. You let her endure the same, and now she is a prisoner in her own mind. She has suffered for longer than this current Hyrule has been alive. She weeps without knowing what she's lost, an undying husk of her former self, and you feel nothing
That, to Vaati, is true madness
The Castle Town chapel burns that day, but no one questions it. They see the corrosive Wrath in his eye and their words dry up)
The time has come. The Hero has awakened the Sages, even recovering the Sage of Spirit in magic-metallic form. He has discovered his Princess’s fate and claimed the Blade of Evil's Bane. He has also completed a million little side quests, seemingly stopping to help every single person in Hyrule. But, the time has come! The Hero and the Sages are fast approaching the floating remnants of Hyrule Castle
For a moment, as the Demon King dons his best attire and sheaths his sword, Vaati brushes over where Ganon still holds the hilt. Small as this form is, both his hands together barely encompass even one of his. They're large, and strong, covered with a warrior's callouses and filled with such violent potential, yet they're so warm. Ganon has always run warm, and it's ridiculous, because Vaati has always hated the heat. And yet, he's never slept better than with Ganon's arms around him, so hot and solid it's almost smothering
In just a few short hours, he will be a cold and lifeless, a statue beneath the Hero's strike. And, one way or another, it will be Vaati's fault.
Grabbing him by the robe, he pulls them into one last, bruising kiss, as if to pour all his fury at their situation directly into Ganondorf's skull, as if to make him understand without exchanging a single word. When they pull away, Vaati's grin is all fang:
"Give them hell."
Because if they're going to fall no matter what, he refuses to let them go down without a fight. If Hyrule is going to claim this world for his sister and take his love from him in the process, that Hero will have to pry it all from Vaati's cold, dead hands.
The Hero must face the Demon King and win. This is, arguably, the most important aspect of the Gold Ones' entire plan. He is to do so with the Sages' help, but, they did not specify the nature of that help. So, while the Hero goes on ahead to meet his destiny, the Sages are left in a dark, cavernous room, where the shadows have fangs and not even the Moon will light their path. It won't spare his partner, nor will it really delay the inevitable, but Vaati has been waning for a long time, and he needs to let off some steam.
Ten thousand years. Even before that, there were millennia still. So, so many years that he feels like he's spent most of his current existence waiting for his happy ending. And now, he is about to let his husband die for the sake of this stupid destiny, with only the faintest hope that it'll turn out alright!
He has put it all on the line, because that is what he has to do, but now? In the hour of reckoning? He is completely coming undone
Because there is a non-zero chance that he is going to lose his husband for good, he cannot bring himself to care anymore. As the fight goes on he rapidly loses his grip on this world, causing the very fabric of reality to distort around them. Limbs becoming stretched or compressed. Weapons flopping uselessly, boneless, as if they even had bones to lose. Floors disappear beneath them; walls twist and curve of their own accord; the shadows become tar which becomes oil which becomes flaming, destructive Wrath at the Moon God's command. It would have been hard enough for the Sages to fend off the beasts that once plagued their temples; how were they supposed to hold their own against the Goddess's brother?
Inevitably, he wears them down to the end of their rope - panting, bleeding, exhausted. Barely possessing the strength to stand up, let alone fight him. All of this power, the very lifeblood of the universe coursing through his veins, and yet he can't accomplish the one thing he wants. Over the years, he's almost come to appreciate how desperately foolish most mortals can be. After all, what else could this have been, but a crash-course in feeling mortal?
"Don't all humans long for the sweet eternity beyond? No, don't speak. You don't have to lie. I'll give you exactly what you need."
He raises a hand, darkness swirling within his clawed grip. The shadows shift around them, whispering and hissing, as his one red eye narrows in on the shivering wrecks. And then -
Light floods the space, unbearably bright. There stands a woman, shining and triumphant, her golden hair like silk trailing down her back, her sword a thin, elegant blade of pure light, her eyes sealed shut by the sash tied tight above her nose. Her ears, tapered, stretch far to either side, so long they are almost reminiscent of the Zonai. Where her dark skin is visible, it is adorned with intricate designs which radiate a holy light; glowing white teardrops stain her soft cheeks. Her clothing is layered like feathers, fanning out behind her like so many downy wings, but the crown atop her head shoots out like the sharpest rays of Sun. She gives the Sages an acknowledging nod before turning to the Moon.
"Sister," he spits with fangs bared, the darkness already coalescing around him.
"Brother," she replies. Her voice, firm in tone, carries through the castle without her having to project. It is as if her words are imposed directly onto the thoughts of all who hear them. "I have been lenient. I have tried to be understanding, but you have taken it too far. Behold: your Wrath has already begun to destabilize this world." She gestures to the pit of despair he's created, the purple-black and brilliant gold substance that is eating away at the fabric of reality. "Surrender now and come home. Perhaps this can still be fixed."
"Fixed?" he laughs, the sound more than a little wet. "For who? You? Little Miss Perfect, with your castle in the clouds, and your adoring subjects, and your perfect divine destiny, and the unfeeling hole where your heart should be?!"
Despite the distance, despite the burning light obscuring her form, the Sages can just make out how her lips press and curl, how her brows seem to furrow beneath her blindfold. "You are angry, and you are lashing out. Please come home so we can speak reasonably."
"If I wanted to speak with you, I wouldn't have burnt your temple to the fucking ground!" he cries, incredulous. His Wrath bubbles over him, steaming hot, as the red of his eye consumes the white. "You say you want peace, yet you deny me the only thing I want. You say you care, yet you come here with a sword. I tire of this.
"Say what you mean and fight me."
What ensues is a battle of epic proportions between the Sun and the Moon, Time and Space, Gratitude and Wrath, that blows the roof off the whole castle. Any attempt at maintaining a human visage is gone with the wind, Hylia's back erupting in a flock of wings, Vaati's skin bursting with a mess of furious red eyes. His own wings sprout near-black and leathery, batlike, his crown replaced with a pair of long, golden horns in the shape of the crescent moon. Fangs and claws meet holy metal as they clash in mid-air - again, and again, and again. Not a soul in Hyrule could miss it.
And then, a mighty roar fills the skies as a sleek blue and blonde dragon comes to her Goddess's aid, radiating her own golden light.
Far below, in a now ceiling-less room in the castle, the Demon King watches, bloody and battered, as the light begins to overpower the dark. He may be prideful, but he's not stupid. He knows the Hero has him beat.
As he brings the secret stone to his lips, his last thought is not of the world's destruction, but that if he is going to die, he will not allow his love to die with him.
The Demon Dragon emerges from the clouds and immediately begins spewing acid-hot Malice at the Light Dragon. The Moon God, realizing what has happened, releases a devastated shriek so great that the entire continent briefly goes deaf. Death is fixable. When you're a god, death is so fixable.
He did not account for draconification.
The Light Dragon rears up and shoots burning bright light at her foe, while her Goddess, the Sun herself, stands stock still. Stunned. From all her travels through time, she knew the draconification of the Demon King was a possibility, but never did she imagine the gentle Princess would be the one biting at his weak points and staggering him with her gift of light. She figured the Hero would get swept up in the chaos and finish him off, himself.
Her brother releases another unholy shriek, his Wrath balling up into a mass of eyes and wings and eldritch dark matter. The sky, which has been red for so long due to the reigning Blood Moon, is now being encroached upon by black and golden rage, the clouds and the heavens physically disintegrating under the full force of her brother's rampage.
How did this even happen? She asks herself. How in the Goddesses' good names did we get to this point?
Right. So hopefully, she will have plenty of time to ponder this later, but that will only be the case if she can get the situation under control.
First things first: the plan.
The Hero must kill the Demon King. That was the Gold Ones' decree, so that is what has to happen. Before the Light Dragon can get too far ahead of herself, the Sun Goddess lifts the Hero from the ruins of Hyrule Castle and sends him flying towards the Demon Dragon. Even in his state, her brother notices this development and reaches out with deadly, gold-tipped shadow claws; she smacks his hands away.
The Hero lands right atop the Demon Dragon's forehead and plunges the Master Sword into his final weak point. As the Demon Dragon implodes in a spectacular mess of darkness and ash, as the Hero and the Light Dragon are pulled into the realm beyond by the first King and Queen, Hylia grabs her squirming, melting, miserable brother and drags him back to their own realm - kicking and screaming be damned.
As soon as they reach the sky palace, the siblings collapse against the shining floors, their purple and yellow essence seeping into radiant marble. Hylia reaches out to Vaati, only for him to shriek again, recoiling.
"No! Don't look at me - don't touch me!" he screams, his voice a cacophony from across the multiverse. "Ruined! It's all ruined -" His cry breaks, and then shatters. All of his planning, all of his waiting, all of his desperation - it was all for nothing.
He's the God of Space, not the God of Miracles. He could pull a soul to him from beyond the veil and give it new life, but he couldn't restore a mind so utterly destroyed as those that have endured draconification. There's a reason it is forbidden: not even the Gods of Fate can fix something so broken.
Not for the first time, Hylia doesn't know what to say, nor what she can do to comfort her brother. He wanted this more than anything, she knows, but at what cost? She couldn't let him destroy the world, whether through his enabling of the Demon King or his own lack of self control. Still, it will take him so long to heal... it already took a thousand years to work out their issues last time. What if... what if he never forgives her?
Just then, she senses a disturbance in the Fabric. An event that has never occurred before. Glancing around the realms, she pins it down to the very edge of the realm of the dead. There stand the first King and Queen of Hyrule, the Hero before them, his borrowed arm outstretched towards the Light Dragon.
"Brother," she calls, melody sweet, only to receive a pitiful whine in response. "Brother, come here."
He snaps out from his curled shape into a mess of jagged edges. "What?"
Though she doesn't look at him, her smile is warm. "You must come see this."
Before their eyes - blinded, bound, or free - the air around the Light Dragon shimmers and glows, her elegant length shrinking, her sharp claws going dull. Under Rauru and Sonia's loving guidance, the shattered pieces of her mind slowly come back together until they are whole, until she is Zelda once more. She falls from the skies; her Hero falls with her; they plunge into the cool embrace of Lake Hylia, and when she awakens on the sandy shore, she is Zelda.
"Brother," Hylia says gently. "I understand it has been a taxing day for us all, but would you have the mind to entertain company?"
Vaati stares at her for a long moment, the red receding from his singular eye, before his pale lips split in a grin. "Only if you take the lead in hosting, dear sister."
Part IV: Dark Moon, Restored
One hundred years is a long time. Perhaps not when compared to all the millennia leading up to it, but time enough for their purposes. When King Rauru and Queen Sonia visit with the Sun and the Moon, they are hesitant, as one would expect. They had seen the Moon God at his least stable. But by their arrival at the fair palace in the skies, the siblings have put themselves back together to the point of perfection, not a single wing or eyeball out of place. Seated in one of the more casual parlors, his lavish adornments exchanged for a simple robe and a hairpiece based on his horns, her crown and armor gone in favor of a similar set of robes and a downy veil, her closed eyes almost peaceful without her blindfold and his lean form almost stately without the harrowing effects of his Wrath -
Well, they almost seem normal.
She speaks gently, the Goddess Hylia, as she asks how did they accomplish such a thing - how in the world did they restore a dragon to her original self?
Though Rauru is still uncertain about this, the memory of the first Blood Moon replaying viscerally in his head, Sonia only laughs and says, "It was love."
While they had only known dear Zelda for a relatively short time, they had grown to love her as they would their own daughter. And Link, the darling Hero who had channeled their power, had loved her for much longer. As they reached beyond the veil and caressed the remnants of Zelda's mind, they brought to the forefront everything they remembered of her: her smile, her laughter, the ferocious way she devoured new knowledge and the questions that seemed never-ending from her lips. The fierce protectiveness she held for her people, and the undying love she had for those closest to her. Her insecurities, her triumphs, her sacrifices. Everything that made her who she was, and everything they wished to restore.
All in all, it really wasn't that complicated.
Before they do it, she asks him if this is really what he wants.
"Don't tell me you still think this is some teenaged rebellion," he sneers at her flatly.
"Well, why not?" She shrugs. "You've never enjoyed doing what you're told."
Goddesses, his sister could be so insensitive sometimes. "No, Hylia, this is not just an abnormally long phase. I truly do want to be married to the Demon King."
"And that's not sarcasm?"
"No, for once in my immortal existence, I am not being sarcastic."
She nods once. "Good, just wanted to make sure. This won't be easily reversed if you change your mind."
With a sigh that is a bit more affectionate than he would ever admit, Vaati reaches through the cloth tunnel connecting all the realms and pulls forth the darkest wyrm in the afterlife. The Demon Dragon's ghostly form splays across the heavens, hissing and spitting. He doesn't even calm with the Moon God's approach. Only with a solid flick to his tender forehead does he seem to see his summoner at all.
"Silence, you overgrown snake," Vaati says as he grabs hold of one horn. His red eye bores into manic gold. "You are going to owe me for the rest of our lives, and luckily for us, that will be a very, very long time."
Pulling a bit more gently, almost caressing the horn in his grip, Vaati props his head against dark, burning scales, his eye falling shut. He takes a deep breath, unnecessary as it is, and focuses.
He thinks back on the whole span of their relationship, from the first time he snuck into Gerudo Town to that last furious kiss before it all fell apart. He thinks about long walks across the sand, talking about everything and nothing. About all the crazy things he was able to talk Ganon into: sand seal racing, mountain climbing, even on one memorable occasion, sky diving. Back when they were young and reckless and his love's every word was like the sweetest ambrosia; he couldn't get enough of it.
He thinks of warm, strong arms, the most handsome face, and one of the most brilliant minds in all of Hyrule: intelligent, ambitious, determined beyond belief, beyond the point of sense. This man would scale the tallest peak if he had to. He would fight every molduga in the desert. But gods damnit, he would also hold Vaati so tenderly, so gentle and slow, as if he feared any sudden movement would scare him off - and it wasn't as if Ganon thought him weak. Hell, by now, he should know better than anyone just how much is contained within Vaati's "delicate" mortal shell. No, it was as if Ganon thought he was an illusion, like some desert mirage that would disappear at the slightest touch. Like he would turn into stardust.
But he felt they were always at their best when they were working together: whether they were scheming against the crown, or plotting world domination. It was thrilling, of course, but it was more than that. It was at those times that Vaati knew, without a single doubt in his mind, they were equals. They were partners, through and through, and his only real regret is that he didn't tell Ganondorf of his plan to revive him once his destiny was fulfilled. Perhaps if he had been a bit more open, Ganondorf wouldn't have swallowed his secret stone.
He wants this. For thousands of years, he has wanted this. He wants his partner, and he wants to keep him. He wants to build something together: a kingdom, a legacy, a life. For so long, their relationship has been so desperate, as they fought tooth and nail for it. He just wants them to be stable.
He wants to be happy.
Beneath his grip, solid horn turns to ash and smoke. Flickers of Malice rise from the dragon as his scales turn hot, as shadow glides across his shrinking, softening form. When the embers fade and the dark magic recedes, his hands caress warm skin. His fingers run through flame red hair. He kneels at the edge of the sky palace, his partner - human, himself, alive - sprawled on the marble floor, beautiful as ever.
The first thing Ganon sees upon awaking is the love of his life, radiant as a full moon, in front of the clearest, most star-filled sky. And - he's dead. He has to be. Makeela Ganondorf has died and gone to heaven (for some reason??) because there is no other explanation for such a sight, especially when last he remembers, he was so close to death. But, it doesn't make sense -
How -
"How am I - I thought -?"
Vaati's eye starts to faintly glow as his pupil shrinks, and shit, he knows that expression. "You couldn't have died normally, could you? You just had to go out in a blaze of glory."
Ganondorf sits up gingerly. "I thought draconification was permanent?"
"So did we. Guess who my dear sister and I had to ask for advice?"
It's only then that he notices the vaguely familiar young woman standing mere feet away, watching them with a serene smile. She gives him a short wave before he turns back to his partner. "Who?"
"King Rauru and Queen Sonia."
"No," he drawls, halfway convinced this is some strange dream. Yet when no correction comes, his face scrunches further. "Seriously?"
"Yes!" Vaati snaps. "That is what your poor decision pushed me to! You owe me, Ganondorf."
Alright, yes, to some extent, that is fair. "And how can I repay this... debt?"
He gives a sharp 'thank you for asking' grin. "With your time - which, we now have in abundance."
But of course, even without this "debt" to serve as an excuse, Ganondorf would give him that and so much more. He would give Vaati every cloud in the sky if he so much as asked, and he knows Vaati would do the same for him. For each other, they would tear the very fabric of reality, they would raze the earth and spit in the Goddesses' faces. They would do it all without a single question or regret.
And no matter the consequence, they would keep going until they could return to one another's arms, safe and content.
It would be worth it every time.
Epilogue
After Ganondorf's resurrection comes his ascension. With Hylia's help, Vaati is able to grant his love a divinity equal in status to his own, transforming him into a full blown Demon-God. He comes clean to Ganon about all the things he held back: the Gold Ones' plan, his and Hylia's shared task of protecting the plan, Ganondorf's role and all the ways Vaati tried to manipulate it so that in the end, they could still be together. The hardest part is not hashing out the past, but deciding how they're going to move forward
While yes, his destined role as the Demon King encouraged Ganon to pursue that path, most of his motivations were still his own. He despised Hyrule for the way King Rauru lorded his power over him, for the way their people treated his people, for all the underhanded ways Hyrule's monarchy had tried to assert itself in the desert. He wanted - he still wants - to see it fall - which, alright, technically it has, but only in theory. The Princess still lives, and whole-heartedly intends to restore her kingdom to its former glory
It takes a lot for Vaati to convince him that hunting the Princess and her Hero for sport would be far more trouble than its worth, especially since the Gold Ones will already be furious when they learn about the... creative liberties... Vaati and Hylia took with their plan. They really shouldn't do anything that will anger them further
Interestingly enough, it takes Vaati even more to convince Ganon that building their own kingdom in the deepest, darkest corner of the Depths is the way to go. The reason is quite simple: Ganon believes they deserve better than that. All those years ago, Ganondorf wanted to to see the Hyrulean royal family suffer, but he also wanted to claim the world for him and Vaati. He wanted them to be able to have anything and everything they ask for: the moon, the sun, the earth, the heavens. All the rivers and lakes, the arid desert and the broiling volcano. He has always wanted it all, and one of the things that kept him going for thousands of years was the thought that one day, he would share it all with Vaati
While the deepest end of Depths would be safe, and while he would be perfectly content with only his Moon's light in place of that wretched Sun, even now, he wants more for them. They're Gods - they're both Gods - why should they have to settle for hiding in a cave with the rats?
"Love, please," Vaati says, cupping his jaw and looking at him with that big, shiny doe eye. "You've trusted me so far. At least give my idea a chance."
Well, they do have a full century to make it work
So they leave Hylia's sky palace - finally; the Zonai had been giving them both looks since they got there - and descend far, far, far below the surface of the earth, so far down that not even nosy Hylians will be able to find them. It is there, in the largest subterranean cavern they can find, that Vaati begins his work
He draws from across time and space, taking inspiration from every castle he had truly come to call home. The Palace of Winds from the last world, the Sky Palace of this one. Trace hints of Hyrule Castle - both modern and ancient - come through in their bed chambers, and the Yiga clan's hideout can be seen in Vaati's laboratory. Tentatively, Ganondorf reaches out with his own power. These memories - this knowledge of the last world - are so new to him, having only returned when he became a god, but he draws forth what he can. The Gerudo Palace from their current world, the Gerudo Fortress of old. A looming tower sprouts from their creation, and in the uppermost chamber is his pipe organ
They decorate with lavish furniture, golden fixtures and pools of glowing red magma. Rugs would be a bit of a hazard with all the magma around, so they cover the floors with intricate stonework; they replace their favorite tapestries with perfect copies carved into the walls. The library shelves extend for several stories, and are quickly stocked with written records of all their knowledge, all their spells and interests. All their favorite stories. The armory is near to bursting with Ganondorf's weapon collection. With their stamina, they're able to work for days or even weeks at a time, but whenever they do tire, they retreat to their favorite balcony, look out at the otherwise empty cavern, and talk about how they're going to fill it
Eventually, they bring their monstrous subjects into the space, several species of which are intelligent enough to start building their own houses. When Vaati sends word up to the surface, the Yiga clan are able to help the various bokos - which are so much calmer now than any of the Yiga have seen them before?? - make their structures even more stable, and they start building their own as well. They're able to tunnel through the depths and redirect a few underground springs into artificial lakes and rivers around the cavern, and with fresh water comes fresh fish and fertile soil, even if the subterranean flora and fauna look a bit strange by Hyrulean standards. Within a few decades, this cave has become the site of a rapidly developing town, and Ganondorf can finally see Vaati's vision
They're not just buidling a home; they're building a life. A kingdom. Deep down, Ganon will always want more, and will always long for that absolute power he felt every time he brought the surface world to its knees, but he does grow to appreciate what this life has to offer. At long last, and after much hardship, they are both safe, happy, and together. That is so much more than they've ever been able to say - for once in their existences, their relationship is actually stable
It's everything they hoped for 🥺
(Oh, and btw, Vaati and Hylia still keep up their weekly chats and monthly brunches after Vaati and Ganondorf move to the Depths. They usually meet up on the surface - in human disguises, of course - because Hylia won't go to the Demon Realm and Vaati won't go to the Sky Realm. The surface is pleasantly neutral. Their favorite place to eat is a sleepy little joint in Hateno where the owners think they're an eccentric pair of travelers that's route just happens to take them to westernmost Necluda on the same day every month; that place has the best curry, in Hylia's opinion, and Vaati's loves their crêpes
Ganon refuses to join their brunches, and tends to make himself very scarce whenever Vaati calls his sister. Even if she says she doesn't harbor any ill will towards him, that it's hard to keep grudges when you're an immortal god, he just doesn't trust it. If Vaati wants to keep in touch with his sister, Ganondorf isn't going to fight him on that, but he doubts there will ever come a day when the thought of her doesn't make him grimace
Vaati's not too concerned about it. He figures in another few millennia, they'll all be able to look back on this and laugh)
So yeah that's one of the AUs I've been obsessing over for a while now. Hope you enjoyed this incredibly, stupidly long post that spiraled just as far out of control as this timeline, and I hope you take a moment to go drink some water or something. Get a nice snack. That was a lot of reading 😅
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evamysteria · 4 months
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Holly - 3rd December @nosebleedclub
I saw holly with my own eyes for the first time in my life this morning, lining the edges of my path past Hyde park. It was picturesque (though tinier than i'd imagined), straight out of a Christmas card.
Sent a photo of it to you - another piece of evidence that I am actually living a storybook existence, amongst the squirrels and the acorns and the horses and the trees and...
All just a pretty facade to plaster over the chasm of long-distance, a persistent attempt to be strong for the other's sake.
We keep in touch in this way, sharing the wonders of daily life to obscure loneliness in the digital age, until we reunite.
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ruins-and-rewritez · 1 year
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Ah the beautiful sounds of patrons losing hordes and hordes of Kruge to the house. Was anything more melodic?
Besides the laughter of a certain nameless ship Captain, Kaz didn't think so.
The clattering of Makker's Wheel, cheers from the Slaps table, the muttering and grumbling of people as they calculate their loses and speculate about whether it's fate's played hand or a trick of the dealers, the clashing of coins smacked to the table in a call for another round, all of it, a perfect harmony.
"Good looking out Rotty?" Kaz waited for the nod of confirmation before weaving his way toward the side door. Going for a breath of fresh air, for all intents and purposes.
The door clicked twice as he turned the handle then pushed it open with his cane. Hinges squeaking in protest at the rough treatment. He was going to have to invest in a new one it seemed. It certainly hadn't kept out all the riff-raff.
A girl no more then fourteen froze in the yellowish light pouring from the doorway. Still hunkered over her score,looking rather like a squirrel clutching a prized acorn if he was being honest.
Intial shock dissipating she made to run, but even with a gimp leg Kaz was quicker.
"Let me go."
"If you valued your freedom, perhaps you shouldn't have tried stealing from me."
"I didn't steal anything," she seethed. She struggled to pull her arm from his grasp but of course Kaz was stronger.
Some of her hair came unbound from her long dark braid, floating messily around her face. The action drew Kaz's attention to her face. Darker then his own, with prettily sharp features and strange green-grey eyes that glinted eerily as she moved.
"How old are you?"
She glared, "what's it to you? Wanna know what price I'd fetch at the whore house? I won't let you take me!"
Kaz nearly dropped her arm. Half in surprise, half in disgust.
"No," his voice came out sharper then intended.
The girl, in her defense did not flinch. She eyed him shrewdly as if trying to detect the lie behind his eyes. She didn't find one.
They stared at one another until she finally caved. "I'll be twelve next month."
"Parents?" He asked.
Her eyes clashed and hardend, "dead."
He loosed his grip slightly. He expected her to run but she stayed rooted to the ground. Gaze fixed on the cobbles under her worn shoes.
"Do you know who I am?"
Her head whipped toward his and she scoffed, "everyone knows the King of Ketterdam. Rich bastard."
Kaz suppressed a smirk. "But you still tried to steal from me?"
"I wasn't stealing from you, I was stealing from that fat slob losing at Three Man Bramble."
"Exactly. Losing. His money should have gone to the house. Gone to me."
The girl didn't seem to have a clever retort to that.
Kaz held out a hand.
The girl dropped three measly coins into it.
"What did you expect to purchase with your new found wealth," he said nearly mocking.
"Something to eat," she bit out angrily, "us orphans aren't exactly swimming up to our golden bloomers in hot meals. Or any meals if you didn't know."
Kaz watched her. The way she fidgeting, hinting at her true nerves beneath all the bravado. The way her cheeks and collarbone seemed more hollow than they should be at certain angles.
"Would a job help with this life of thievery you've turned to?"
Her eyes narrowed at him. "A job? Working for you? I already told you I-"
"-I've something else in mind that doesn't equate to life as a slave if you could perhaps let a man finish his sentence?"
Her frown didn't let up but she waited for him to continue.
"Room and pay. Unless you have a place of your own" doubt laced his voice, "freedom to come and go as long as you complete your work."
"What kind of work?"
"You're small. Fast. Both are valuable if you know how to apply them."
That same probing look, of someone trying to spot the lie between the lines.
"I can get out anytime I want?"
"People who work for me, tend to be in it for the long hull."
She stared ahead calculating.
"Two weeks."
Kaz raised his brow.
"Two weeks probationary period. You can evaluate my skills and I can see if you live up to your word. Either of us can back out anytime. After that we work a six month contract. And a guarantee you won't put a hit on me."
He was almost impressed at her forethought, not to mention the fact she was so young.
"The deal is the deal."
Her sour face morphed into satisfied.
"Be here in the morning. When we're closed. You can read?"
She nodded.
"I'll have the papers drawn."
She turned to exit the alley.
"Wait. Your name."
The girl spun sending him a devilish grin, "that you'll have to earn. Kruge can't buy everything."
And then she walked away, waving him and calling over her shoulder, "don't lose sleep over it King. Til morning."
Hmm.
A lot like him that girl. She'd make a good Crow.
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starcaptainslangs · 1 month
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Day 50 - MyLang, More words
Today's prompt is about creating definiteness markers, but because I did that a few days ago, I am just coining some words. Here's some that I made today:
hý - to drink
léw - skin
pél - wall, fence (from *pilë "rib")
seérd - to protect
váxosh - girdle, belt
I also updated the word for stump from *lëun (which became 'skin') to thógha from *thogan
I need to get back to understanding Lexurgy or trying out the Zompist sound change applier because manually doing these sound changes isn't sustainable.
I also remembered that I wanted the umlaut stage to create non-concatenation with plurals, but idk if I want to do that considering the development I'm taking with regular plurals being derived from *dehka "three". I like the -(e)dh suffix a lot. Maybe there can be something like in English with some nouns using the vestigial ab/umlaut and others using a regular plural suffix. Maybe the nouns that end with a vowel get the regular plural and those without are umlauted? Idk
Examples would be:
kígy "squirrel" *kikil kígel "squirrels" *kikilë
fœ́ "mouse" *phihu fœ́dh "mice" *phihu-dehka
karkó "crow" *karkaw karkódh "crows" *karkaw-dehka
tóa "acorn cap" *toan tóen "acorn caps" *toanë
I actually like that a lot, but without getting a scripted sound change going it'll be difficult to do that at scale. I'll update my notes at least with that new pluralizing strategy.
I'm not sure how much time this week I'll have for conlanging due to life stuff, but I'll try to keep up. 50 days is a huge milestone! Woo!
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doingitfortheexposure · 3 months
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Gray squirrel (unsure whether Western or Eastern) investigating an acorn in late summer or early autumn.
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Photo by Xer S. Rowan, Creative Commons Attribution license
I take photos for the love of photography and share them under a free-to-use-as-long-as-I-am-properly-credited license. I'm disabled, neurodivergent, and living on a poverty-level fixed income. My linktree has a couple of wishlists, if you'd like to enrich my life a little.
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godofglitter · 4 months
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I am not usually a nature person, which is weird because what are we, but nature? Yet every time I fall prey to a strong sense of "FOMO" and drag myself out of a weekend of being a couch potato I find myself staring wide eyed at these tall hills, or at the bright red of a woodpecker's mane*, or at all the beautiful green orange yellow lichen I only ever read about in science books but never had the fortune of being close enough to touch thanks to Delhi's love for all things smoky.
The point is, I wouldn't chose nature based activities if left to my own devices, but boy am I glad everyone in California was born a mountain goat- if for nothing else but the poetic inspiration these occasional forays into the wilderness give me. Take for example this tree we** stumbled upon not even halfway up our hike. What drew me to this particular tree was not just the way beautiful brown and red striations traverse along the bark, or the way squirrels made their fleet footed way around the base and into the bushes, or the leafless branches like fingers grasping at a rapidly greying, ominous sky. It was these meticulous and numerous holes, each seemingly consistent in diameter and depth, stuffed with little acorns*** that caught my eye.
And here is where the inspiration part comes in. Immediately, my brain went "aha!" and started composing an epic tale of love and loss- where we, as humans, are that bark filled with acorns nestled in spaces we have carved out of our hearts. If we are all born a full slate, brimming with these love-filled treats, then life is the wind that knocks half of them out of their places, and people are the birds, the squirrels, the prying humans that scrape and peck and dig to take our precious love away to sustain themselves. Think the giving tree, except when we run out of acorns we carve ourselves anew, mark ourselves for the next person to paw at, take ourselves away from us until we are nothing remaining but hollow bark surrounded by a bed of fallen, consumed shells.
But that is not all. Once the teenage angst found an outlet, the millennial fashion influenced found her voice and began to vociferously claim the wonderful-ness of the chatoyancy of this bark. Come to think of it, doesn't that mountain over there look like that one Deepika Padukone dress from some award function a couple of years back? Olive green and black, just like the dusty shadows along fault lines on this hill- and I remember the entire world hating her for it and thinking damn does it take a lot of strength to stand strong and take it. But then I thought- what if this amazing art-in-fashion-in nature was brought out to the world? And here began my wondrous five hour long pretence at being Yves Saint Laurent coming up with his winter 2024 collection titled Pinnacles: A Blooming Life. Or something like that. I'm sure there's some creative director out there who thinks of these collection names and all, that's not even the main point.
When an idea takes root in your brain, everything around you bends to nourish its seed. Suddenly, the patch of lichen on a grey rock was shaped like a perfect sleeved top to be styled with blue jeans and a maroon red slip on heel; the growing green tip of a pine shoot in a bed of old orange needles would make a perfect Ariana Grande-esque chiffon gown (teal on the top, orange on the bottom, think colour blocking like that one famous pink and orange Taylor Swift gown); the white-red-pink of the California Buckwheat would make for a gorgeous tulle flower top to add to the collection.
Mental mood boards were made****, other people were involved- and I saw how this seemingly childish idea of nature in fashion bloomed under the creative juices of three engineers, of all things, finding fabrics and textures and styles in rocks and dandelions and hard nut fruits. It takes only a word, a whiff of interest- what we often think of as not worth the occupation of air can become the spring that spreads through someone else's wild grass and adds a sweet fragrance of joy in land that seeks it.
A full gallery of pictures of random fallen fruits and moss later, my brain went back to this "giving" tree- giving not so much a real physical benefit but the imaginary fruit of inspiration. And really, aren't ideas like those tiny acorns too? Strong ones stay despite winds and disturbing perturbations; the weak ones, however well seated they may seem at first, will inevitably be slain at the hands of fickle nature. It made me realise how precious ideas are- how precious thoughts are, and moments- because with time they will be scattered or wither or perish, and there is nothing worse than the memory of an idea that you were too- tired, scared, underconfident- to actualise, that now lays lifeless in your palms despite all your attempts at shoving your breath down its throat. Every night that I spend saying "I will write this down tomorrow" is a night I am putting to permanent sleep words I was graced with, that once turned away will never return to me again.
All this to say I am glad I went today, inclinations and aches aside. My words live to see another day, the spaces within me will brim fully again with treasures of thoughts- and even the ones that fall will find another home where they can finally take root and sprout their winged leaves into the azure sky.
*fun fact today was the first time I've seen a woodpecker in real life and not in a cartoon, which is just another thing nature has given me
**me and aforementioned mountain goats whom I love very dearly, despited their (wait for it) goat-edness (sorry not sorry)
***Are these acorns? I have no idea. They kind of look like hazelnuts. Unrelated question, can I eat them? Asking for a friend ofc :)
****Which will become reality, some day. If someone wants to teach me art real quick that'd be awesome thank you
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raised-by-w0lves · 4 months
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thoughts on impermanence
i thought for a long time that my biggest fear was loneliness. but that doesn't really ring true for me. i am truly happiest and more genuine in my own company, and i have more than enough social interaction in my daily life.
tonight (after a few too many chili's margaritas and mitski albums) i realized that my real fear is of impermanence. i am not scared of being alone during my life, but i am terrified that after i die no one will remember me.
i think about my own death quite a lot. driving on the highway i envision myself veering sharply to the left, siren lights reflecting off blood on the windshield and bones and glass and plastic and gasoline tearing through my skin.
it's a morbid image, but i cannot help but think about how easy it is for a human to become a body.
and my narcissistic, irrational fear is that when i'm gone, when the soul or chi or consciousness or neurons that make up Me are no longer firing, that I will no longer exist.
this is a deeply self-centered view, of course. no matter how much i try, i cannot shake the feeling that i'm special, irreplaceable, that i add value to the world and that the loss of my gestalt would be a loss for the world.
it is because of this feeling that i need to share my life with people. i've often been accused of "having no filter". i give out too many personal details. i overshare my trauma. i ask uncomfortable questions i insert myself into other people's friend groups i bother my friends with the mundanities of my life i try to help where i am not needed i curate an endless digital life i look for validation from predatory men i drag people along to events they don't care about i cry too much i laugh too much i frown too much i smile too much i am too loud my feelings are too big i am taking up so much space in your life and i am so so sorry but i tug on my mother's sleeve and say mom mom mom can you please i beg please please please won't you please LISTEN please please please please
and maybe if someone's heard me, there'll be some pieces of me left. "that was her favorite song!" they'll say with the indie rock radio station playing in the background. "hey, she taught me in high school!" "that time she took me to Hong Kong..." "she broke my heart." "she made me laugh." "i miss her."
it won't be enough to reassemble the entirety of Me, but it's comforting to hope that there will be proof that i existed.
if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it and it doesn't make a sound but a hundred years pass and it rots into the earth and ferns curl around where its branches used to be and bright little spotted mushrooms peek out from its desiccated bark and a squirrel digs through its burls to store acorns for the winter and a worn-out hiker sits on it for a second to admire the stars, does it matter?
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oddly-here · 7 months
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The way I aim to use twitter is to hide thought-bites there like a forgetful squirrel caching acorns. (This place is for the longer thoughts.)
Not there (or here) for the attention, truly, but the element of airing grievances for the sake of airing. It's out there, it's aired, and I can forget it (until I need to remember it again and hey look a handy log). Like shouting off a virtual cliff into a virtual canyon in a virtual desert. To say something out loud to make it real. To force the nebulous thoughts to coalesce in order to process them, define them, file them, build upon them.
I have never been very good at keeping track of things IRL. I can never hold much in order in my brain all at once and need to write things down - and hope I don't forget where I wrote it.
So this is where twitter comes in - it's timestamped, it's basically irretrievable, hosting it is someone else's responsibility, it's accessible from multiple devices, there's a moderately functional way to chain ideas, and I'm forced to still be reasonably circumspect and intentional and brief about what I vent. It also records something of the zeitgeist I am possibly reacting to at the time through the record of likes, retweets, quote tweets. And not in a sentimental way, but it helps me mark my passage through time, through life.
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themoneyguru1 · 8 months
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Decoding the Gig Economy's Financial Challenges and Fixes
Venturing into the gig economy offers a tantalizing world of flexibility and independence. But amid the freedom lies a maze of financial challenges. Fear not, for I am here to decode these hurdles and provide you with fixes hotter than your favorite street-side chaat. Let's dive in!
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Riding the Gig Wave: The Financial Adventure Begins
With a laptop and an internet connection, anyone can dive headfirst into the gig economy. Whether you're an aspiring writer, a coding ninja, a graphic design maestro, or a culinary artist whipping up fusion delicacies, platforms like Swiggy, Upwork, and UrbanClap have opened up a world of possibilities.
No more nine-to-five shackles, no more battling the traffic – it's work on your own terms. But, hold your horses, or should we say, hold your auto-rickshaws, because the gig economy’s road isn’t always smooth.
Also Read: The Digital Loan Guru’s Guide: Mastering the Art of Safe Borrowing
The Budget Roller Coaster: Feast or Famine
In the world of gigs, predicting your monthly income can feel like forecasting the weather in the monsoon season – highly unpredictable. One month, you might be rolling in the big bucks, feeling like the Maharaja of Moolah; the next month, you could be counting your pennies like a thrifty grandparent. This feast-or-famine income cycle can make budgeting feel like solving a complex math problem after an all-nighter.
Fix It Tip #1: The Grand Emergency Fund
Picture this – you’re sailing smoothly on your gig ship, and suddenly, a storm of unexpected expenses hits you like a gust of wind. What do you do? Panic? No way! This is where the grand emergency fund steps in, your trusty lifeboat. Set aside a portion of your earnings each month into a separate emergency fund. This fund will be your shield in times of financial storms. So, the next time your laptop crashes or your pet goldfish needs emergency medical attention, you won't be caught in the deep sea without a paddle.
Tax Troubles: The Haunting Specter
Ah, taxes – the two constants in life, the other being change. When you're a gigster, sorting out your taxes can feel like solving a cryptic puzzle in a dark room. Income tax, GST, filing returns – it's enough to make your head spin faster than a Bollywood dance move. And let's not even get started on the quarterly advance tax payments that can blindside you like a plot twist in a suspense thriller.
Fix It Tip #2: The Tax Jar Trick
Here's a little secret – open a dedicated savings account fondly named the "Tax Jar." Each time you receive a payment for your gig, toss a small percentage into this jar. When tax season comes knocking, you won't be scrounging for funds like a squirrel looking for its buried acorn. Your Tax Jar will have your back, and you'll waltz through tax season like a confident dancer grooving to your own financial rhythm.
Lonely Retirement Island: No Employer Benefits
Remember those days of salaried jobs when your employer had your back with cushy benefits like health insurance, retirement funds, and bonuses that sparkled like Diwali fireworks? In the gig economy, you’re the master of your ship, which means waving goodbye to those comforting perks. Retirement planning becomes a solitary voyage, and health emergencies can feel scarier than a ghost story around a campfire.
Fix It Tip #3: The Solo 401(k) Adventure
Introducing your new sidekick – the Solo 401(k)! Just because you're your own boss doesn't mean you can't plan for a comfortable retirement. The Solo 401(k) lets you stash away a chunk of your gig earnings for the future while enjoying potential tax benefits. It's like planting a money tree that will shower you with golden leaves in your golden years. So, while you're rocking your gigs today, your future self will be dancing a jig of gratitude.
Also Read: Why Opt for Professional Loans Instead of Regular Personal Loans
Conclusion
In the dynamic gig economy, financial challenges are a reality, but armed with savvy fixes like these, you can conquer them all. So, seize the opportunities, embrace the journey, and gig your way to a brighter and more secure future.
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greenmansgrove · 1 year
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Ahead of the snowstorm that hits tomorrow (the solstice), I decided to make my biweekly pilgrimage to my favorite park today. I first visited it in October, too late to find any acorns, but awed by the colors of the autumn leaves.
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Aside from the playground, the gathering pavilion, and a small softball field, it’s just a bunch of hills between oaks of all kinds. There are occasional tables and benches for sitting and meditation.
In October/November, when I was dealing with some intense insomnia, I would take early morning treks out to local parks and walking trails. I also decided around this time that I wanted to start my quest for my druid staff. I had been reading the RDNA’s A Reformed Druid Anthology and found some musings by Albion (p. 468) and the late Emmon Bodfish (p. 469) on finding one’s staff. As someone who regularly doubts if my spiritual connection to nature is “strong enough,” I felt that this might be a good first trial in proving my worthiness to myself. I thought the restful, meditative act of meandering trails while already in a calm, sleepless state might help keep me open to whatever would come my way. All the while, I whispered to myself, at the suggestion of Bodfish, “Who wishes to come? Who will help me?”
I performed this little ritual as I wandered a couple different parks one morning, and while I would find potential sticks, they often wound up being cottonwood, which doesn’t make the sturdiest staves and often rots quickly.
I returned home fruitless until I decided to take one more walk during an afternoon where sleep still would not come. I trekked to my favorite park (pictured above) and saw from the road a downed branch behind one of the park’s chain linked fences. I found my way over and was pleased that with some trimming, the branch would make a fabulous staff.
I broke off and left behind the tinier branches and some of the end so it would fit in my car, and then proceed to do my best to identify the tree from which it had fallen. I wandered among the trees in that spot, looking for places where perhaps this larger branch had fallen, and I settled on what I’m sure is a younger bur oak. Its leaves had all fallen by the time I found the branch, but based on the bark, I’m fairly certain of the tree’s type. I know I can’t be certain that this tree is the one from which the branch fell, since it’s a public park around which children drag branches all the time, but I still wanted to try my best to thank the tree that had given it.
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I asked the tree if I could take this branch with me and vowed to visit it regularly. Albion talks about how a staff gives the tree the ability to move and travel as it never otherwise will. I am taking this to heart. Bodfish also says that it shouldn’t be oak, but he provides no reasoning, and I’m not one to look a gift from nature in the mouth. Oak does have a tendency to check, though, so I’m keeping an eye on my staff while it cures.
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I’ve since cut the branch more down to size. I returned the shaved bark to a flower bed near my apartment. And I’m saving the portions I’ve sawed off as future ritual offerings that I’d like to leave around different parks within and beyond city limits. In the spring, I plan to finish and seal the staff so I can take it on hikes and to rituals with my local RDNA grove.
In the meantime, I try to visit this tree every couple weeks. I bring small offerings, namely peanuts to leave for the squirrels. I hug the tree, talk to it, visit its friends and siblings in the rest of the park. On today’s particular occasion, I left a votive offering of dried mistletoe leaves that I tucked into various crannies in the bark.
I hope that the the long sleep is gentle on my tree friend. I hope that the life it sustains continues to find rest and safely shelter among its branches. I hope that it awakens in the spring to continue growing healthily.
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dinasaursinlove · 1 year
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my aversion to gifts: explained.
i get so angry when people give me gifts i don’t know if other people feel this too but if i receive a gift that i didn’t ask for or if someone surprises me, i will start hating them instantly. i hate surprises and gifts more than anything but also this is very conditional. if the gift is something i like and its something small and not expensive then i’ll love it and treasure it i also like handmade stuff but if someone spends a good amount of money and buys me stuff i want to sob and snap their neck yes i am aware this is insane but this is genuinely how i feel. i will break your kneecaps if you get me a gift i don’t like and it has to adhere to my exact and ever-changing tastes otherwise i’ll never talk to you again so you’re better off never getting a gift if you don’t know me well enough (chances are, 99% i’ll hate it) and when you give it to me i won’t be rude because ‘its the thought that counts’ or some equally annoying bullshit and ill be nice and pleasant and say thank you too but the moment i’m alone i’ll cry over it and you may not see it instantly but there will slowly be a change in my demeanor towards you because you brought me a gift and it ruined my life forever but i’m to nice too return it so thanks a lot you knucklehead. whatever human bond i had forged with you has been permanently severed. i hope you feel good about yourself.
someone sane please explain the concept of gifts to me i am unable to adapt to this strange and civil human version of throwing acorns at your loved one’s face and skittering away, much like we do in the squirrel community.
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animalnerd · 1 year
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Sometimes I get sad about how I have all this knowledge about animals and biology and it's just floating around completely wasted in my useless brain. Why do I take the time to refresh my knowledge of anatomical terminology? I'm not going to use that knowledge for anything but maybe for an occasional trivia game, or to annoy the fuck out of my friends by telling them things they don't care about. Like I dedicated my entire life to learning as much as I could about this stuff, but because I couldn't finish a degree there's nothing I can do with it. When am I ever going to need to know the difference between lingual and caudal lures? Why does it matter what a cephalothorax is? What non-zoologist needs to know that a saltwater crocodile's bite pressure is 3,700lbs per square inch (a fact I have had memorized since the seventh grade)? But my stupid little squirrel brain just has to snatch up every little morsel of useless scientific jargon and store it away like acorns in a tree stump. For why??
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reidecorating · 3 years
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just some cinematic parallels
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