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#life in the shire
live-like-a-hobbit · 3 days ago
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It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.
The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) dir. Peter Jackson
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shirecorn · 15 days ago
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My mother thought that unicorns were evil the church told her so She took our toys and placed their horns between a pair of blades; and left a hole in every forehead
My mother thinks that who I love is evil the church told her so
My mother thinks that who I am is evil the church told her so
My mother thinks that I am hurting But the church did this to me
My mother thinks she knows me
But I stay out of reach of her arms and the scissors soaked in love that she presses against the parts that make me who I am and calls it healing
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shiredded · 2 months ago
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I don’t want to stop aging.
I don’t want to be held in stasis forever.
But I don’t want to die.
I want to grow and change and slow down and learn and watch my knuckles roll under my thin skin and then I want to go beyond.
I want to kiss the faces of my great grandchildren and tell them what I learned 100 years ago and then tell them again what I learned today. Life is an endless experience, one I wish I never had to stop having.
I want to see what’s beyond great grandness. I want to last more than a century. I want to see the invention of things I drew when I was seven and had not yet learned the word “impossible”
The fact that there is an end to this journey and one day I will stop learning, stop changing... scares me. I don’t want to arrive anywhere and rest there.
I never want to stop becoming.
Cells live and die and every seven years we’re something new but it never happens all at once. And I wish it would never stop.
The thought that one day I will be made of cells no longer being born makes me feel like a dying star. I will release into the universe the parts I no longer need and the oxygen atoms in my lungs will one day be someone’s first breath.
Someone else’s first breath.
The birth of a new star.
It’s beautiful to know that the ripple of my life will linger in the world beyond the memory of my name.
But I wish I could be there to see it.
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shirecorn · 5 months ago
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Imaginary conversations with my dog
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blowtee · 6 months ago
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Locked And Loaded By Team Torment Quote shirt
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#Locked And Loaded By Team Torment Quote shirt DESCRIPTION REVIEWS (0) Um no ones pretending the virus was defeated but you clearly aren’t lo#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/La-Perfection-Existe-Demandez-A-Mimi-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Its-the-Most-Wonderful-Time-of-the-Year-Shirt-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/I-never-received-my-acceptance-letter-to-Hogwarts-so-Im-leaving-the-shire-to-become-shirt-1-#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Happy-Holidays-From-The-Lesbian-Family-Member-Everybody-Talks-About-Christmas-shirt-1-600x60#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Horse-I-Love-This-Post-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Fighter-Aircraft-Everything-Will-Kill-You-So-Choose-Something-Fun-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Goodfellas-Ugly-Christmas-sweater-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Demeter-Greek-Goddess-of-Fertility-Growth-and-Life-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Coolest-Turkey-In-The-Flock-Thanksgiving-Toddler-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#Christmas 2020 Santa 2020 Is On The Naughty List shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Christmas-2020-Santa-2020-Is-On-The-Naughty-List-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#Black cat LGBT I am small and sensitive but also fight me shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Black-cat-LGBT-I-am-small-and-sensitive-but-also-fight-me-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#Beach Boys Surfer Girl shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Beach-Boys-Surfer-Girl-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#Arizona No Place Like Home shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Arizona-No-Place-Like-Home-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#AA Management shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/AA-Management-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#You Make Me Coconuts shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/You-Make-Me-Coconuts-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#Time To Get Fit Shaced shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Time-To-Get-Fit-Shaced-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#USA Flag Star shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/USA-Flag-Star-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#The pew pew life shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/The-pew-pew-life-shirt-1-600x600.jpg#We are all human lgbt pride shirt#https://yumetees.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/We-are-all-human-lgbt-pride-shirt-1-600x600.jpg
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elfstone · 6 months ago
why does aragorn like apples still much where does he keep all of them everytime i see something you write he's always pulling an apple out of somewhere
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adgkljjj this is my first callout and it’s so accurate. but really it’s strider / longshanks that loves apples and i always write him eating them when he’s being that man because tolkien, too, loved apples, and bilbo and frodo and sam, the hobbits in particular, are always eating apples and singing about apples, sam quotes that line ‘an apple for walking and a pipe for sitting’ and they leave the shire laden down with apples that were gifts from their neighbors, literally carrying home with them that way, and aragorn as strider is in this state of always walking, always travelling, always moving, a man in isolation utterly alone, belonging nowhere, and for the hobbits the apples always seem to refer back to home, to that nostalgia for the shire and the autumn and the sense of belonging, the sweetness of the natural world, and strider is the aragorn that is protecting the shire and looking in on that, and the intense attachment he develops for the shire i always imagine comes from the fact that he has never felt that sense of home, that sense of peace and belonging and balance, and i think he looks at the shire and feels that bitter longing for what he doesn’t have, an enduring life, and i think he longs for that, and wants to preserve it, and part of his order when he becomes king that no one trespass on the shire or disrespect its boundaries comes from the respect that he has for them and the recognition of their value and stewardship and the way that they live, apples are connected to the shire and to aragorn’s aloneness as strider, his separateness, the way that he is always looking in and never being a part of something, and the way that he wants a piece of something simple and sweet and beautiful that he cannot have because of who he is forced to be due to his birth, i mean it’s symbolism but also apples are a common fruit that travel well so there’s that as well
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imsoconfused16 · 11 months ago
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When you’re having a nice night out at the pub with your dwarf husband, but that bitch Sandyman won’t stop talking about how queer Bag End is these days and how your new beard is absurd, so you remind him just how poorly his basil did in last month’s fair.
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oveliagirlhaditright · a year ago
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I feel I should just say that I wrote a bajillion words fic about Sora and Kairi's wedding, post-KHIII... that I was going to keep a surprise, but then I realized people might not like it--because for me to be able to write it, I kind of had to subvert expectations, oddly enough. Because otherwise, I thought I was writing what others probably have a million times, or that I wouldn’t do this epic and long-awaited moment justice--so I’m mentioning it now. And that should probably be the next story I upload? If I don’t post one more thing first?
I also sort of wrote this fanfiction by accident? As something to just write for fun when I was burnt out on my other work or needed to warm up... but then it just snowballed and snowballed and snowballed. XD
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dwarvishring · an hour ago
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bilbo baggins spent the entirety of the hobbit homesick and missing the shire, but once he got back he didn’t quite fit in anymore and longed for the places he had seen, and one of the last things he did in his life was disappear in the middle of a hobbit party to go visit the lonely mountains once again. the quest changed him, and if thorin oakenshield had survived the battle of the five armies, bilbo would’ve stayed in erebor with him. in this essay I will
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shethereadinghobbit · 5 hours ago
You end up in the world of the hobbit. What's the first thing you do?
~@cassiabaggins
The first thing I'd do is try to make my way to The Shire! I'm a hobbit at heart and enjoy the simpler things in life. Though, given my lack of directional skills, it would be a challenge maybe I'd run into a certain lost dwarf king along the way but eventually I'd make it.
Thank you for this ask! It was really fun to think about and I'd love to end up in Middle Earth!
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asaltystoryteller · a day ago
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What Makes Me Salty: Grimmdark Cops part 2
Click here for Part 1.
One of the things they love to do is to sycophantically point out to other writers but will also leave out parts that disprove their position as 100% right. At best, its out of ignorance, at worst, it’s flat out dishonesty.
For example, this group will arrogantly parade around how in the Lord of The Rings that after the conflict with Sauron, Saruman had scoured the shire. But they leave out the fact that Saurman’s little stunt didn’t last long as Frodo and Co with their experience ended Saruman’s scheme before he got backstabbed by Wormtongue.
They then go how Aragorn died before Arwen, but they leave out the couple had kids and a fulfilling regime before that and Arwen joined him shortly thereafter and they were reunited in the Timeless Halls before the glory of Eru Iluvatar.
They talk about how Frodo had to leave Middle Earth but leave out how Frodo was healed in Valinor(or found peace, I can’t remember) and even when he died, his fate was the same as the royal couple. Brought before the glory of Eru.
The Grimmdark Cops don’t like it when they don’t get the last word, nor do they like a happy afterlife because they don’t like such an idea no matter how detached from religion it is.
But I would say this is more a symptom of a heavily secular and materialistic culture we now live in today than anything else.
Now of course another tragic love story they love to bring up is Areith and Cloud at the hands of their lord and savior of Angst, Sephiroth.
Now I haven’t played the games, but I have a therapist and friends both who have and explained to me why it worked, and I will take their word on that, but I myself am just not into that. I don’t like it when romance is built up to be smashed down, it’s just not my cup of tea.
But one of my friends also pointed out that Cloud found love again in Tifa Lockhart. But the Grimmdark Cops also leave that out because its a blight on their agenda.
The only way they can allow something like that play out in stories such as RWBY if anyone is familiar with it is probably having Blake end up with Sun, Sun get’s killed off, probably by a zombified Adam, and Blake ends up with Yang instead, and even then they probably would have Yang eventually killed off too because its just not enough for them.
They ship LGBT couples but unlike the SJWs its even less sincere.
They only support such ships if it gives them an excuse to kill off another that is traditionally straight, but not for some socio-political motive, but rather because its the act of tearing something down thats “traditional” in order for them to do what they nebulously define as “testing the hero’s valor.” Even then, they would also go after that ship and all other LGBT couples because of this obsessive compulsive need to “test” the heroes as well being fueled by a bizarre insecurity of showing the audience “Life’s not all sunshine and rainbows.” which they mean “This feel too right to us, make it tragic.” along with a claim it’s to show their nebulous idea of “consequences” no matter how contrived those “consequences” are.
A romanic relationship in their eyes are just a means for their crusade, to be sacrificed on their sacrificial altar of ego.
My point is, just because it worked in Final Fantasy 7 doesn’t mean every ship, including ones like Cloud and Areith don’t always have to end up tragic.
Just as some characters may be like Portgas D. Ace from One Piece, but they don’t have to always be killed off like him.
Some characters may be like Ragna The Bloodedge from BlazBlue(if anyone knows it), but they don’t have to always end tragically like him and can choose a better path than he did.
But like I said The Grimmdark Cops do not accept that. They believe the philosophies and styles of their venerated writers are gospel of the Second Coming of Christ.
As such, they believe they have the right to control what everyone else feels, thinks, their tastes, subjective feelings, creative minds, and use of inspiration as well as police everyone’s actions and speech over anything at any time. And they themselves are held accountable to no one.
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They also resort to dishonest rhetoric when representing the opposing side in order to sway those on the fence, because they can’t handle the idea of some on the fence going to the opposing side, nor can their egos handle the idea that someone while having similar experiences may have chose a different taste to cope, reflect, and move on.
The other side has to be evil, they have to be lying, they have to be ignorant, they have to be mentally ill.
Because this subculture can’t just be right about what they like and dislike, they have to be right about the people who don’t share their tastes and preferences, or else they would have to reflect upon themselves, and the Grimmdark Cops do not like that. Because like I said, they think their the good guys in their mind, and everyone else are these evil, obsessive, psychopathic and unwashed masses
I remember after RWBY V3 there were criminally disingenuous arguments made by stans that those who felt alienated just wanted “Chibi RWBY with regular models” and told them to go watch Chibi RWBY or the MCU and shut up and be content with that.
I have spoken with many RWBY dissidents, and I never heard any of them say even once they wanted it to be lighthearted all the time.
I have seen some RWBY rewrites on FanFiction.Net and they had different ships, different character focus and world building, character deaths. Some I agreed with, some I didn’t, some I shipped, others I did not. Writing choices driven by objective reasons, subjective reasons, and a combo of both.
But whatever they were, they were done with the intent to improve RWBY so it could be the best it can be.
You may not agree with the points or arguments, you really don’t have to at all. But you can at least see the other side’s arguments are at the very least trying to be more nuanced and thought out and they aren’t the cowardly, backward, and uncultured subhuman scumbags they are made out to be.
But that would require honestly representing the opposing side, and the Stans do not like such honesty.
They do not like making fair comparisons either, always harkening to RWBY, Madoka Magica, or Akame Ga Kill and Fate: Zero as a litmus test if an epic is good or not. If it’s not, then it doesn’t have consequences and its automatically “sunshine and rainbows” and therefore sucks and everyone who likes them backwards subhumans.
Then they label anything not like that with words like “Sunshine and Rainbows”, “Bulls**t Happy Ending”, “Sugar-plumb fairies” or “Detrimental”
Akin to how an SJW calls a story they don’t like “Racist”, “Sexist “Homophobic”, or “Problematic” or a militant atheist calling religion “Bronze Age myth” or “Sky Daddy”
Its all the same rhetoric, make the opposing side sound immoral and stupid, and make your own side sound righteous and smart.
This brings me back to The-Black-And-White-Beserker.
When a dissent brought up his own tragic experience and what he turned to in terms of entertainment to pick up the pieces rather than RWBY or Madoka Magica.
Aurthurian Legend
Harry Potter
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
And Soul Eater(anime in particular if I remember correctly)
Now a considerate person would probably think
“Hmmm, this person brought up stories that while most of them had happy endings, also had a good amount of drama. So this person isn’t against darkness but just rather also have a good amount of happiness and just is picky about certain outcomes. So he’s not a coward, just thinks and feels differently than I do.”
The Berserker on the other hand, straight up bit the dissent’s head off. He accused the poster of presenting such stories as 100% lighthearted and used that to accuse him of lying of his experience.
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And even then, acknowledging why that person likes Harry Potter and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, he acted like one of those reasons, surviving romantic couples, was a bad thing.
This group often belittles someone telling them to not judge a story on their subjective feelings and even then that their subjective feelings are wrong“You shouldn’t use your subjective feelings in judging a story, and even then, how dare your subjective feelings not align with ours, you should never express them because you have no good reasons for them. Your either stupid, mentally ill, or evil.”
The Grimmdark Police always say their fine with criticism of stories like RWBY if its “valid” and “objective”, but even when someone does try to be objective in their critiques, no matter how hard they try, it always ends up not being enough for them, and the dissident is vilified anyway and the stans once again start up their shenanigans of get shamming the naysayer restlessly with accusations of threatening the show runners and reblog their posts so the minions of these Stans can join in on the harassment.
They are also quick to eat their own the nanosecond one of their crusaders begins to question or dislike anything about their sacred golden calves.
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Such was the case of a former Grimmdark Cop who I will call Ms.Fluff.
Ms.Fluff used to be a good friend of The Berserker, but over time, she began to grow quite ill of RWBY but seemed to be too scared to say anything.
She felt Black Sun was thrown out for Bumbleby, she thought the Fair Game tease was shallow, and she didn’t like Pyrrha’s death. But she kept smiling and nodding as she dreaded of being punished.
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She finally couldn’t take it anymore. She posted a vent post and the Berserker turned on her instantly and humiliated her in a post for all of his minions to see. She didn’t care, but it shows how quick they are to betray their own kind when they step out of line.
This group that complains about SJWs making everyone afraid to speak their mind do the same exact thing all while saying how nobody finds other ways interesting anymore.Everyone else contributes to this problem, but they can never consider the possibility that they are part of that problem. Because like I said in my last post, they see themselves as the enlightened ones, so their way will never be wrong in their eyes.
But probably the most horrendous incident involving this horde involves the Berserker and a DeviantART user who I will call Christopher Robin
A few weeks after RWBY Volume 3, Christopher decided to speak his mind on DeviantART in a journal. In this journal, Christopher made a thorough disclaimer that he was just his opinion and not an objective fact, and he was speaking it clearly as such.
The-Black-And-White-Beserker saw this journal and decided to go after Christopher.
He harassed the man for an entire week demanding that Christopher take down his journal entry or else he would “drag him to Hell for all to see” and Christopher refused and began begging Berserker to leave him alone.
Oh, but that’s not the best part.
The best part was when Berserker then put a link to the journal on a RWBY Reddit Page and began riling up his minions, he said they should care that people like Christopher Robin had these kinds of opinions and subjective feelings, that they were in “Dangerous Mindsets” and “Twisting reality to Justify their feelings”
He made it sound like Christopher Robin was justifying school shootings or something. All because he said he did not like the character deaths and dark turn of the show.
Then he told them to “think about what he said, not what I said, now GO!” So he basically stoked the fires of righteous indignation in his stormtroopers and sent them to raise Unholy Hell.
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The attacks were so bad that Christopher told Berserker he was actually considering suicide, Beserker’s response?
“Stay away from him, he’s not right in the head” and “I didn’t even try to be mean to him”
Berserker harassed someone over an opinion, launched an entire harassment campaign against him, pushed him into near suicide, and then showed no remorse, blamed the victim, and only apologized when he was called out.
and not only that, they complain about SJW’s and their mentality and methodology and hurting public discourse,
while simultaneously creating environments where people are not allowed and just as afraid to disagree,
not allowed and just as afraid to have dissenting subjective feelings in regards to the narrative and epic storytelling in general,
and even not allowed and just as afraid to be friends with people with different opinions and subjective feelings and are outside of their groups.
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Do I HAVE to tell you how messed up all of this is? PLEASE tell me I don’t.
This group always plays themselves and the beloved writers as the victims and demands apologies and condemnations from others, but as for their own deplorable and sanctimonious behavior? There will always be and excuse or and exception.
And so I dedicate this rant to Black-And-White-Beserker, his elite goons, the RWBY militants, the Gen Urobuchi militants, and their whole Grimmdark Revolution they are pushing forward.
A movement that proclaims its for new and diverse ideas, even as they try to silence those who disagree with their championed writers wether be through stalking, harassment, censorship, or recruiting misguided minions to join them in their idolatry.
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SJW Hypocrisy is at least bad joke, yours is an art form.
You complain about them supporting groups like AntiFa while you yourselves turn a blind eye to the actions of your own ilk to achieve your own aims. All to fight in impossible conquest to completely control creativity itself.
You clearly believe religiously venerating writers is more important than treating others with empathy and civility or minding their own business.
You’re okay with what your actions have done to people in a pointless fight that you cannot nor should they win, because there is no castle to plunder.
And worst of all, you do all of this while complaining about SJW methods and how they polarize and divide audiences and writers.
Your movement has its own brand of Censorship, Buzzwords, Oppression Narrative, Thought Policing, Groupthink, Division, and Doxxing, no matter how you attempt to spin it.
And you all have this delusion, no sorry, this hallucination that your the heroic underdogs of this story. Just like the SJWs.
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The Lord doth say “You shall know them by their fruits” and their fruits are bitter and rotten. They disregard other people’s experiences as lies or insanity if they don’t end up liking what these groups like and instead liking what these groups don’t.
You dismiss the feelings and experiences of others as lies or insanity if they don’t like what you like, and like what you don’t.
You are quick to tell others that they don’t matter, and how pathetic, sad, and mentally ill they are if they disagree with you.
And you’ve become so drunk off their elitism, they have failed to see that they do not have the moral high ground in their actions.
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You have decreed the styles of Gen Urobuchi, Dan Didio, the late Monty Oum as the law of the land, and yourselves their police force, and you believe all audience members and aspiring storytellers are obligated to be obedient to your will, and that you can dictate the destinies of stories, characters, and ships yet to be created.
They aren’t, you aren’t, we aren’t, and you can’t
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Stubborn Epilogue
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Summary: Five years after King Richard returns to England and Guy and (y/n)’s daughter Alice is born, Prince John takes over as king and pays a visit to Nottingham. Chapter 23
A/N: This was my first series and I’m a bit emotional that it’s over. This is actually coming out on the 1 year anniversary of chapter 1. Thanks for sticking with this series over the past year!!! Also The Archer plot line does not exist in this series because I did not like it.
Historical Context: In 1199 King Richard the Lionheart died at war in France of Gangrene from a crossbow arrow to the shoulder. His brother then became King John (and lost the war with France five years later and is generally remembered as a shitty King, so shitty that the magna carta and parliament started during his reign because he was so bad at his job)
Warnings: nudity, implied smut, mention of murder, 
Word Count: 1793
A little over five years had passed since the kingdom celebrated with news of the king's return. Since then things in Nottingham had been peaceful. The taxes had lessened, Robin Hood retired, and Prince John left you and your husband alone for the most part. With the king away in France and Prince John next in line to the throne, he did not seem to need two spies from Nottingham anymore. Guy was allowed to just be a simple sheriff of the small shire. 
The peace was only political however. Over the past five years your family had grown and while you were happy Gisborne manor and the castle could be pure chaos at times. Your children were well behaved when they needed to be, it was just in between times that life had a tendency to quickly descend into chaos. Alice was now five and seemed to enjoy taking turns trying to either be a miniature god of mischief and attempting to be a perfect lady. Roger, named after Guy’s father at Isabella’s suggestion, had just graduated from his terrible twos...or at least that’s what you’d been hoping would happen. He enjoyed hanging out with his “Uncle” Allan (a title Allan appointed to himself) far too much. Peter, your youngest, was now seven months old, and well...there was a reason you were refusing to ever have more children. You loved him but the baby stage was not something you were willing to go through again. 
This morning you and Guy were cuddled up closely in each other's arms savoring the peace and closeness you were able to share in moments like these, that had become all too rare in recent years, and not for lack of trying. Being curled up with your husband like this often reminded you of when you’d first married and you just couldn’t get enough of each other, not that things changed much, there was a reason you’d had three kids in five years after all. Other things had changed though. Guy’s hair was beginning to gray, both of you were filling out, and the look in your eyes was different. The amount of love was still the same but with six years of experience with each other and three kids the kind of love changed from rushed lustful passion to steady deep admiration and support...with a good deal of lustful passion still sprinkled in. If anything you’d say your love was deeper and stronger now. 
Cuddled so closely together and already naked from last night's activities Guy began pulling you even closer, kissing up your neck and jaw. As he pulled your leg over his hips you giggled, “Guy, we have to get up soon. Remember the new King is coming today.” You pretended to protest, doing absolutely nothing else to stop your husband's advances. 
“King John is not set to arrive until noon. Servants can handle any preparations we have left. And as sheriff I say I have time to be with my wife.” He said into your ear in the low grumbly voice he knew sent shivers down your spine. 
You pretended to contemplate for a second. “Hmm, if you say so sheriff.” Guy only growled in response beginning to kiss you again, rolling you onto your back. 
Unfortunately before the moment could continue the door knob began to jiggle. The door knob had been partially broken years ago but since it delayed your children barging into your room the two of you elected to not have it fixed. The two of you froze staring at the door for a moment before Guy quickly rolled off of you onto his side. You grabbed the blankets pulling them over your chest and closed your eyes whispering. “Pretend to sleep.”
“Why? That has never worked.” Guy whispered back. 
“I can hope!” Was all you managed to get out before Alice and Roger came running into the room. 
“Mother! Father!” Alice called climbing onto the bed. “I know you’re pretending.” 
The bed dipped slightly again as Roger climbed on “The prince is coming! We have to get ready!... Why are you naked?”
“King.” Guy broke his silence. “The king is coming. Do not call him the prince.” You felt Guy sitting up next to you, soon you’d have to break your cover too. “If you call him the prince he will get you in more trouble than Alice was in the time she broke a window in the courtyard. And you have two nannies to help you get ready. Why can they not help? Also why is one of them not with you?” 
“Only Mother can do my hair how I want. They don't do it right; we snuck past Joan to get here. She’s still asleep.” Alice explained. 
Guy sighed. “It is hours until the pri-king arrives. Go and let your mother and I sleep.”
“You didn’t answer my question though.” Roger protested. 
“Yeah! Why are you two naked together? I thought boys and girls weren’t supposed to naked alone together. That’s what Mother said when Richard and I were playing house and trying to be like you two at Marian and Robin’s.”
“That’s a good rule. But what are you talking about?” Guy questioned. Probably tuning out everything Alice had said only focusing on his daughter’s ongoing crush on Robin Hood’s son. 
“I meant unmarried.” You opened your eyes and explained. “Married people can be naked alone together.”
“Oh...Okay. I will be marrying Richard someday anyways.”
“Wha- I-” Guy clearly wanted to protest. 
You sat up holding the covers over your chest and leaned against your struggling husband. “As long as you wait for marriage and you marry for love” You added more as a reminder to your husband than Alice. “Now go, wake Joan for your baths and I’ll do your hair after. But only after your bath.”
“Okay.” Alice pouted “Come on Roger.”
“But I wanna stay here.” Roger pouted. 
“You heard your mother. Bathtime.”
Your two oldest pouted their way out of the room. When the door shut behind them Guy turned to you with an anxious expression. “I would honestly rather our daughter marry a homeless beggar.” A statement that made you burst out laughing. 
---
The five of you gathered at the steps of the castle waiting for the king to arrive. You and Guy stood in the center. To Guy’s right stood Roger, to your left stood Alice and Isabella holding Peter. According to King John’s letter he wanted the whole family presented, but you had a feeling he still wouldn’t want you holding your own child. You had only met him three times before now and two of those times he’d grabbed your arm and started walking away with you, that wouldn’t work well with a child in your arms and you didn’t want to upset such an easily offendable king. 
You reached out to hold your husband's hand tightly. You had been nervously thinking over this moment for the past five years, past six probably, since the day Guy proposed and you came up with this plan. If all went well with this meeting, then the two of you were permanently in the clear, staying sheriff and having a rich, comfortable life. Guy squeezed your hand tightly as you waited. 
Well past noon the carriages finally started to roll into the castles courtyard. Allan opened the door to the front carriage announcing, “His majesty, King John of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, Count of Anjou and Maine.” The king then proudly emerged from his carriage smiling at the bowing crowd and strutting over to Guy. 
Once he reached you he announced to the crowd, “You may rise.” Once everyone was standing he took a moment to analyze your family with vague distaste. “I do believe every time I see you you have another child.”
“Two new children. My wife was only pregnant with Roger the last time you visited. Since then we have also had Peter.” Guy explained, he was smiling but you could see the slight anger behind his eyes at the king’s slight insult towards your family. 
“Aw. Yes. Of course. How wonderful.” King John faked a smile that looked more like a grimace. “Well no matter. I am here to discuss the sheriffdom.” You and Guy both tensed. “Oh do not look so worried! More money is coming out of Nottingham than ever. I’m not going to displace the man responsible! Even if you two weren’t much use to me as spies. Killing Sheriff Vaisey was the best thing you ever did Lady (y/n).” Your heart stopped that the king knew, though thinking back there were so many people close to King Richard that could have known what happened that the truth eventually getting back to Prince John was inevitable. 
Alice looked up at you confused. “Mother wha-”
“Shh! The king is speaking.” You quickly whispered, cutting her off. Maybe someday you would tell your children the truth about how Guy became sheriff or where you truly came from when you’re on the topic of secrets, but it certainly wouldn’t be today. 
King John chuckled at all the discomfort he was causing you before continuing. “Anyways. I came to Nottingham to congratulate you Sir Guy on being the official Sheriff of Nottingham under me, King John of England.”
Guy breathed out a massive sigh of relief bowing, “Thank you, your majesty.” It was the first time you saw your husband smile at King John. 
King John arrogantly smiled down at Guy. “Now that business is out of the way, I’m starving. Shall we?” He asked, marching past you and up the stairs without waiting for an answer. Allan, Isabella, and your children followed the king into the castle not noticing that you and Guy lingered behind. 
Not caring about trying to look dignified, you wrapped your arms tightly around your husband’s neck pulling him close. “We did it. The plan, it worked. We’re good, forever.”
Guy hugged you closely to him before pulling away just enough to look at your face while moving his hand to lightly stroke his thumb across your cheek. “Your plan worked, love. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.” 
“And falling backwards eight hundred years through time and meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me.” You brightly smiled up at him before deeply kissing him. Where you truly came from was something you barely even thought of anymore. Sure you still missed showers and toilets and cars but completely immersed in medieval life you simply forget about it after a while, especially when you found a happiness you would not trade for the world. 
Taglist:   @fizzyxcustard​ @narnvaeron​ @creativelyquestioninglife​ @puggledy-huggledy-is-not-a-pig​ @knitastically​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ @rattyoakenbitch​ @mariannetora​ @ladylouoflothlorien​ @lathalea​ @rosemunds​ @criminaly-supernatural​ @nfcomics​ @universallywritingoneshotsgiant​ @anjhope1
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Hello! 4, 11, 15 and 16 for the Tolkien asks?
Hello! First of all, thank you for the ask, I’m always open to answering questions! 
4.  If you could have lunch with one character, who would it be and why?
I think it would probably be Bilbo because he’s hilarious, and he would have good food, and probably would tell me about his adventures, which would be awesome. 
11. The Shire or Rivendell?
As much as I love Rivendell and I think I would look more at home there, I think i would feel more at home in the Shire because, well, hobbits, and food :)
15. If you could date any character who would it be?
Faramir. He’s such a sweetie, and I need to protect him from Denethor, right? 
16. If you could be any race in Middle-Earth, which would you be?
I think probably a hobbit, mainly because they seem so relaxed all the time, and also they get to live in the Shire, which is, honestly, a life goal of mine.
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elletromil · 3 days ago
Text
Get To Know Me!
@s1utspeare​ tagged me (about a week ago, but, you know, life), thanks dearling :D
Part I
name: I’m known as Elle. I personally pronounce it as the letter ‘L’, but ‘Ellie’ is fine too, I’ll answer to both and neither are my real name. (i’m old, so i don’t share my real name anymore sorry)
pronouns: she/her but I seriously don’t mind
star sign: Pisces
height: 5'6″
time: 8:11am because before work is one of my most productive time XD
birthday: March 4
nationality: canadian
fave bands/groups/solo artists: My go-to answer is Dir en grey, but sometimes I’ll be obsessed with one artist/band which is not currently the case
song stuck in your head: A french kid song from early 2000 that is freaking annoying and basically is someone with a “baby”‘s voice singing about the animal of the jungle. I’ve gone to bed with that song in mind and woken up with it still there. I can’t wait for it to go
last movie you watched: Midnight Diner 2! A friend recommended the series to me on netflix and I realised there was movies too so yeah, of course I watched the movies too
last show you binged: Unsurprisingly considering my last answer Midnight Diner! I’m on the last season now, but I would have finished it already if I hadn’t taken breaks to play some games XD
when you created your blog: 2009 if i remember well
the last thing you googled: “how to remove some outlook option” (it was a term in french, i’m not gonna bother translate it more than that XD) for work
other blogs: I have a dreamwidth journal and a pillowfort under the same name... My dreamwidth is more or less abandoned as is my pillowfort... I ain’t good at keeping up with stuff if they don’t have an app
why i chose my url: back when I was in like... early high school? I had an idea for an original story and for some reason I decided that one of the character’s name would be “l’immortelle” (french for “the (female) immortal”) but in reverse. I removed the extra ‘M’ for the aesthetic. So yeah, that stuck.
how many people are you following: 338
how many followers do you have: 1,593
average hours of sleep: about 7-8 hours a night
lucky numbers: 4 because its my birthday
instruments: i can play piano and the flute
what i’m currently wearing: a pair of black jeans and a purple and black stripped long-sleeved shirt. Cuz it’s cold this week.
dream job: I actually have it. I’m a creature of habit, so office work is very nice in the sense that I know exactly what my day is gonna be like (even when it’s a shit day, you know what could make it a shit day) and the work I do doesn’t actually feel like work to me (emphasis on ‘to me’).
dream trip: Going to Sweden to visit @solrosan​ with our other friend Red and possibly other countries with them too. Or Rosa coming to us and just taking off a week or two to stay at a cabin. And going to Australia to visit @honey-bee-britt​ :D
fave food: so manyyy. what comes to mind right now is ham tho, so i’ll go with ham
top three fictional universe you’d like to live in: I’d like to be a hobbit living in the Shire, i feel like i’d make a great one XD I’d also like Moominvalley I think. And uhhhh, Hyrule from Breath of the Wild, but only pre-calamity or post whatever is gonna happen in Breath of the Wild 2 XD
Part II
last song: Mama’s Gun by Glass Animals
last stream: A playthrough of Hollow Knight
currently reading: At least 10 books and just as many fics. This week is more of a ‘imma watch some random playthrough’ than a reading week tho, so I don’t remember what I am in the middle of
currently watching: Midnight Diner
what is antipoetry to you: ? I have no clue and quite honestly, i don’t care XD
currently craving: chocolate, because I always have a chocolate craving, but also craving time/motivation to finish all these prompts waiting for me in my ask box
I’m not tagging anyone, but if you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged :D
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