#life got in the way of my editing time

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[ettadunham]

✨ 2023 monster girl + tv tropes of the week 19/52

regina mills

“You said I could let go of the anger that was weighing me down. And suddenly it felt like without it, I would just... float away. That anger was all I had. What would I be without it?”

#outatedit #reginamillsedit #ouat #regina mills #evil queen #once upon a time #lana parrilla #*my edit #*gifs #monstergirls2023 #almost caught up with myself on this list! and we got some obvious choices out of the way #and because i know people will comment on it: #yes heterosexual life-partners is a very funny trope and yes it is inherently gay #i also don't care that lana parrilla is of average height regina IS tall dark and snarky i will not be debating this

[todayisafridaynight]

Share Mine notes please I beg (and on the arakawa fam if you have the timefkfd)

forgive me if these are messy as all fuck i'm not good at making notes BUT here's everything i generally keep in mind when drawing mine and hijikata + the reference sheets i look at when drawing them :)

arakawa family notes + references below:

(more notes about aoki + sawashiro's faces ft. ikumi here)

#snap chats #edit: THANK YOU TEN FOR FINDING MY ASK FOR ME LITERAL LIFE SAVER !!!!!! #you POSITIVELY HAVE TO click these open to see anything #it probably wouldve been worth something if i actually /drew/ them on these sheets too to demonstrate the notes but.. #please let it slide we've seen me draw them all plenty of times.. except mitsu sorry king you'll get your time i promise #i tried to just keep this General to the face but like. at some point i said 'ok maybe its important to mention how i do hair' #i have plans to play all 326 shadow the hedgehog endings and when i saw i got this ask i JUST finished one #so this was def a great break from that for a while LMAO #anyway.. i hope these are helpful in some way #they were fun to make regardless :) #i love how i made notes for ichi even tho. i dont draw ichi the same LMAO BUT IT IS STUFF I THINK ABOUT SO #WORTH WRITING #if you have any questions or want me to explain anything more i'd be happy to do so ! #i always feel like im missing points whenever im explaining stuff so im forcing myself to just post these before i go insane #i have about 316 more endings to get through after all....

[ctl-yuejie]

ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality

moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.

we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.

Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.

Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.

And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.

With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.

#moonlight chicken #i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out #might edit some stuff later #but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life #which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations #we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him #whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference #but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly) #in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights #but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks #he got reduced to his sexuality #and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before #and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing #and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school #and our dating lives scrutinized #even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are #and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family #so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on #but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet #so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming

[bericas]

Why did you do that? Because I love you.

#twedit #scallison #scallisonedit #teenwolfplus #teendramas #scott mccall #allison argent #making this made me so crazy i had to fight for my life to not make this a lyric edit #thats what happened with the cant help falling in love scydia set if anyone was wondering #it was supposed to be like this and then i felt crazy #literally this whole set my head was like #i see the look in your eye and im biting my tongue you'll be the love of my life when i was young #isnt it amazing despite all the space in the world im still close to you then you said to me are we enemies no baby we could never be #if i could be stronger and if you were just older we might last this out longer but the task just gets harder and my face turned to red #we huddled under covers we ddint say anything if you hadnt come ovre i would be so much colder i would be so much less confused #goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky you were more than just a short time ive got a lot to live without #ANYWAY. #these scenes are very Specific to me they are so specifically about hurt/comfort to me #both of them bloodied in such different ways; both with blood on their hands; scott's is his own. allison's is mostly her own. but not all #the gentleness that comes not because of the absence of violence but despite the abudance etc etc etc etc #i refrained from including stuff from the movie trailer but the movie has really made me a scallison endgamer its crazy i never was #but i feel fucking Insane #the question is always why and the answer is always because i love you

[meownotgood]

how do you write so well ? can you give us any tips for anyone who wants to start writing fics ? :)

-anon from France (･ิω･ิ)

of course!!! I'm not gonna lie.... I wing a lot of stuff when I'm writing so I may not be the best at giving very solid advice 😭 but, I will share some tips that helped me, and maybe they can help you too!

practice! def the most obvious one, the more you write the more you'll be able to improve. but practice isn't just writing, you can improve so much more by reading as well. or even watching a show or playing a game, indulging in a story you really love, you can learn much from that story to improve your own writings as well

write like shit! I heard the phrase, "write drunk, edit sober" a little while ago, and it's so perfect to how I feel about the writing process. just write whatever ideas you have, don't stress about your first draft not being good, or not what you'd like. no one can write perfectly on the first try, that's where editing comes in, to smooth out wrinkles and make everything nice. it is perfectly okay if you can only write a simple outline right now because you can come back and make it beautiful. write "lol I don't know what to put here" and come back while editing, put "insert romantic scene here" and continue. and seriously, don't be afraid to write something that's "bad" or "cringe" because nobody will read your first draft but you! just speak from your heart and your head will take it from there! and if you write something you really don't like, you're under no obligation to let anyone see it. writing a bunch of crap is a part of the process. you can never improve if you put yourself down, and don't allow yourself someplace to start

find your own flow! everyone writes different, some environments might work better for you and some might not. some people write while listening to music because it helps, I cannot because my brain would turn pickled. some can write thousands of words per day, some can only write 100. do what is best for you, try different things to learn where your best flow state is. don't push yourself to write when you don't want to or more than you can, your best work will come when you are most comfortable.

write what you want! write the story you want to read. writing is hard, it's often frustrating, but the story you want to tell is something only you can do, that's why no one has told it yet. enjoy the process as much as you can, the bad and the good!

#also this is a more specific tip #but the way I write is like #I warm up first with something small or by reading #to get my brain in a good mode #and then I edit first and then continue writing #editing gives my brain some building blocks to work off of #and I feel better about what I'm putting down #when I can see what I've already made and how far I've come #truly just practicing and never giving up is the best tip I can give you #even when your brain isn't working and you feel like you hate what you're making #don't give up or say you can't do it #I've been writing my entire life #and when I was young I used to hate that tip. 'just practice' #it's very frustrating to face at times #it's okay to be frustrated #but one day you will see how far you've come and be glad you never gave up #not sure if this will help but.... this is what I've got lol #love you anon!!! I'm rooting for you! #ask mags

[libra-cant-just-dance]

Guess who finished writing the last chapter of Tainted City >:]

#it’s me I did #still gotta do some editing and have my partner beta read before I can post the last two chapters but #I did it I wrote way too much just dance fanfiction #what comes next? you’ll see #I do have plans but sometimes plans don’t happen #I hope I can still write the sequel after this but I’m about to graduate college so I have no idea what my life’s gonna look like next month #I also have some cirque du soleil fics I wanna write at the same time #yes cirque du soleil #I’m getting way off topic here #point is look out I’ve got two more chapters in the bank headed your way #and wish me luck

[r0semultiverse]

It’s wild to me that some of you have entire discourse accounts dedicated to shipping hate & over analyzing shipping between the anime, manga, & light novels to the point of making harassment campaigns against the authors/writers of the side stories. Yet y’all don’t send the same hate towards Ikemoto & his highly suspect ass art style with the way he draws some of these kids.

#it’s just a bit telling?? #do you lot have no life? #there are clearly bigger issues in the naruto & boruto fandom than shipping wars that have been going on since like 2010 #good gods please get over yourselves #naruhina sasusaku narusasu leeten I don’t care! #the konoha 13 are in one giant secret polycule for all I care! boom there’s your solution! #& while we’re at it let’s make Kiba a sensei or a ninja hound class guy rather than a pig! #boom another problem fixed! lmao #Ikemoto & the way he draws these kids is a way more pressing issue than any of your silly shipping wars #if you’re gonna send this off the walls negativity anywhere direct it at the way he draws these children Mikeo Ikemoto is weird as Hell #for the way he draws some of these characters #it’s so hard to recommend boruto & boruto two blue vortex because of this suspect art style #I’m so serious too lmao I really hope studio Pierrot fixes the boruto tbv designs #but who knows how long we’ll be waiting on that #the anime is gonna be on hiatus for a loooooong time with how little room there is for anime-only content in the pacing #* mikio ikemoto my bad I got the spelling wrong & can’t edit tags on the old tumblr mobile #mine #op #naruto #boruto #OBVIOUSLY DONT SEND HATE CAMPAIGNS TOWARDS ANYONE JUST PUTTING AS A LEGAL DISCLAIMER BUT LIKE YKNOW IF YOURE GONNA THROW STONES ANYWAY #might as well throw them somewhere actually useful

[theheightofdishonor]

100 (103) reasons why Daichi is the best 

1. his face 

2. them thighs 

3. most reliable captain 10/10 has never  met a ball he can’t save 

4. the chip on his shoulder

5. he's not just an underdog, he's the captain of underdogs, the biggest underdog of all.

6. kinda insane sometimes. Total volleyball freak. (My adored <3333)

7. you will never meet a more reliable man

8. deserves all the admiration in the world for handling a team as insane and wild as Karasuno

9. knows his team like the back of his hand

10. y'all remember that time he saved kagehina's failed freak quick because he knew that they'd go for it and also knew they'd mess it up?

11. there was a solid period of time where he was both coach and captain and handled the jobs marvelously

12. never falls to pressure,

13. treats his team to after-practice meat buns

14. ridiculously observant

15. seriously, this man immediately figured out that hinata had his eyes closed during the first freak quick.

16. terrifying enough to scare Noya who canonically has not felt fear since he was a child

17. can silence people with a look.

18. surprisingly snarky

19. officially acknowledged by kuroo as a crafty son of a bitch and kuroo would know

20. fr though, Karasuno would never have been the team it was without him, he's such a great goddamn leader and a brilliant captain

21. every single person on his team listens to this man

22. and he's always great at knowing how to deal with the different members on his team whether its goading Tsukishima at exactly the right time or knowing when to cheer Asahi up.

23. relentless, driven and never gives up.

24. the honest country boy vibes

25. has the obliviousness of an anime protagonist when it comes to romance.

26. can site facts about sea creatures off the top of his head and does it often enough that Asahi can provide context for what he's talking about

27.the ✨ soulful eyes ✨

28. we all know that under that cute face is a terrifying demon but man, what a face 

29. is a brave warrior willing to sacrifice (lose a tooth) for his people

30. basically got kagehina together

31. well-rounded player

32. got SO hot post time skip

33. not afraid to look like a lunatic in public when he's yelling at his teammates

34. short king

35. his flawless jump float receives 

36. that one time he yelled at Noya and co for coming to school on New Years like Daichi what were YOU doing at school during New Years? 👀👀

37. wore the vice principle's wig twice and did so flawlessly

38. the fancy foot moves on court

39. best pep talks

40. also great motivational speeches. Ikejeri literally remembered one of them for like 5 years

41. this man was Karasuno's ONLY floor defense for a hot minute there and still won against Seijoh. Seijoh.

42. that being said, he's not part of the defensive line, he's a spiker who also does defense and don't you dare forget it

43. the breadth of his gorgeous, gorgeous back

44. Was willing to kick out Kageyama and Hinata if they didn’t learn to get along. It’s not like Karasuno has a deep reserve of players, they certainly needed every player they can get and yet, he held firm. 

45. when he saves almost all of inarizaki’s crazy serves like it’s nothing 

46. also wrecked Oikawa's shit with that one save

47. literally died for his team

48. first year daichi w/  🤝 middle school hinata and kageyama; being people who care more about vb than the rest of their team and doing their best to get better on their own 

49. it takes a certain type of man to let Hinata on court despite his utter lack of basic skills

50. his bashful grin that's probably got people swooning left and right

51. just generally serving looks 

52. his arms

53. “We’re gonna eat them alive” 

54. that one time he mentally dragged Ukai to filth 

55. quick on-court reflexes 

56. the patience of a saint to deal with kuroo and bokuto’s antics 

57. refuses to get intimidated, even by Ushijima 

58. let ennoshita lead the team even though he could’ve gotten back on court 

59. this moment right here

60. when he was ready to retire because he thought it’d be better for the team 

61. “especially people who have to bike up a mountain” 

62. that time he scored off of kita’s recieve 

63. the entirety of ep 3x06. 

64. tired dad in a teenage body 

65. because his old teammate told him he “got bigger 😏” and daichi thought they were calling him fat 

66. being the epitome of benevolence a la forgiving Tanaka for killing him 

67. “talking too much is a sign of nervousness, ku-roo san” 

68. all the daichi-kuroo handshakes and how he magically starts acting like the competitive teenager he is when he spots kuroo’s rooster hair

69. i take back what i said about being able to scare people with a look, he can do it with just his aura

70. delivers an immaculate immitation of Kageyama 

71. so concerned and sweet to his underclassman

72. tried so hard to help Hinata's nerves.

73. *solemnly* “i was going to keep it quiet but....we’ll have bbq after the practice is over” 

74. cheerfully leads his squad through dozens of penalties during camp 

75. at times, very dignified

76. takes to acting like Tsukki's annoying uncle

77. when he went back to the gym and we saw his mosaic of memories and it made us all tear up 

78. Always imparting words of wisdom ie “SHUT UP” and “you’re a wimp”. 

79. he literally has nightmares about the principal’s wig 😭

80. Didn’t brutally decimate Kageyama for the “i can spike, serve, etc all by myself” line because if some snotty brat said that to me, i'd

81. He’s so intuitive in general. He’s seen Kageyama for maybe a couple minutes and then a half hour match and already knows exactly how to hit him where it hurts like when he threatened to take the setter position away if Kageyama and Hinata couldn’t win a match together. 

82. His saves are a work of art sometimes

83. So beautiful 

84. always willing to collaborate with and concede to his teammates whether it’s asking Kageyama’s opinion on how to handle Seijoh or letting Tsukki handle the timing of the blocks or staying back so Ennoshita can lead, 

86. Like despite hq having tons of characters + themes about pride and ego, Daichi has almost none at all. He’s secure in himself and his skill level and doesn’t get insecure about his teammates/friends being more skilled or better than him. 

87. never lets failures bring him down 

88. on a similar note, he, like hinata, is always willing to try, always ready to keep going no matter what happens or what obstacles lie ahead 

89. he’s the one that gave Noya the nickname of “Guardian Deity” 

90. the first one to always acknowledge and appreciate everything Takeda’s done for the team

91. Despite the generally optimistic attitude, he’s still realistic. 

92. Hilarious when he’s being blunt 

93. Surprisingly ok with fudging the truth. Like when he tells Asahi that he’s the only one that hasn’t gotten over the Date Tech match which is blatantly untrue. ‘

94. got so worried about his dream that he physically came to the gym to make sure it wasn’t taken over by the basketball team 😭

95. Simps over Shimizu like she deserves 

96. For someone who claims to be terrified all the time, he’s damn good at keeping it together

97. his little rooftop freak out before the Inarizaki match 

98. gorgeous eyes 

99. the haircut that just adds to the unassuming look hes got

100. Doing hundreds of penalties only made him incorporate penalties into Karasuno's normal training routine. Such a masochist.

101. Has the sweetest friendship with Suga and Asahi

102. might not be a monster but has his moments of monster-esque insanity nonetheless. Tell me this doesn't sound like something Hinata or Kageyama would say

103. noya compared his defense skills to yaku who's possibly the best libero in the entire damn series (!!!)

Basically he's just the best and I love him so much that I started with goal of writing 20 and ended up with 103

*edit: initially had 102 but number 103 i came across and couldn't not include it

#sawamura daichi #haikyuu!! #haikyu #daichi sawamura #hq!! #listen i started w/ 20 and then ended up w/ 60 so i thought i'd just do the round 100 and be done with it but by the time i organized it #i ended up with like 115-ish which i figured might be a tad long #even for me #so i whittled it down to my top 102 faves #and why yes this was in fact spitefuly spawned by that hq captain poll #real life got in the way so its a couple days late but #edit: i did eventually realize i somewhat repeated a couple but oh well

[thekidsarentalright]

i rly do think kintsugi kid hits incredibly different and deeper from the perspective as a chronically ill person than it ever would otherwise. absolutely guts me

#chronically ill either physically or mentally ofc both apply . as someone who is chronically ill both ways #it's like. god i could write a whole analysis of it from this perspective actually tags wont do it justice #just the lyric on the bright side got the wrong insides is enough for me to be like yeah. i literally do. i was made wrong. i am wrong. #and it is what makes me me and if i dont have that who am i without my flaws . if i dont have that what do i have. id miss it. god. #edit addition: also like the chemical haze part is esp heartbreaking from the perspective of a chronically ill person who at one point was #highly dependent on substances to help ease the pain and is a time period of my life that was awful yet sometimes i miss bc at least i felt #nothing. now i feel so much and it's better for me and i know that but sometimes. i miss it. #txt

[snazum]

this is just me theorizing and I haven't actually read any theories yet AND this is gonna be half baked cause I just want to put my surface thought so far into the world.

Wayne did say there was a deeper meaning behind HLAGE. And that it meant a lot to him (If i'm remembering correctly.)

And I think they said that gnome chompski representing chat was close and/or correct. Could the series sort of be a representation towards how he feels about streaming and creation? Having the gnome AKA "chat" take over and play HL2 sort of like a representation of having this giant shadow of what people want for HLVRAI2 sort of thing.

And also having this sort of love hate relationship. And growing fond of the gnome anyways, to the point that he realizes he misses the gnome when it's gone. (Never thought I realized idk the gnomes pronouns).

Uhhh there's more but I can't put word into thought yet. Take this as a demo???? Of my thoughts. I guess.

#dude my brain is melting I just got off work #but I've been thinking about this on and off for like weeks #This post is a fucking mess i'm sorry #its the potential undiagnosed neurodivergence #I will probably write a proper one once I do more research and have hours to write this in a concise readable way #hlage #half life alyx but the gnome is self aware #half life alyx gnome edition #so scared to put this in main tag but idgaf at the same time #i could be so sooo wrong and misremembering shit rn #so launch me into the sun and lock me in the vault if im wrong eh #hlage theory #snazum talks

[kindaorangey]

truly cannot explain the connection i have to the 1975's music. yes some of it is nostalgia but i genuinely do not have any other artist that has interested and confused and irritated and saddened and endeared me so much all at the same time and i do mean that about the music itself rather than about the band members. i've spent so much of my life listening to them and they cover so much ground while also having so much terrible samey shit that i wind up loving anyway. i'm so done with matty healy but i will not be able to let go of this music without giving it a proper sendoff, y'know.

#thunder rambles #n its not even the thing people have with like mcr or tøp where the music gave me something to hold onto through a rough time #ive just loved it in so many different ways and for reasons that have changed over the years like. #i know i sound like i drank the kool aid. im working on it #edit: i have some more soppy sincere things to say about why i love their music so much #it's for the same reason i don't think i'll ever love someone exactly the way i loved the friend i had in year 8 #to love someone just because they're there at a point of naievete in your life #i got into the 1975 because my toxic best friend whom i had a crush on said i had to like them #and also because their first two albums are sooooo geared towards 14 y/os in terms of sound #but then abiior came out. and i didnt like the singles. and then i came back to it and i fell in love with it. #it's just so weird to simultaneously love something for nostalgic reasons and from just appreciating good art #like its all shitty nostalgia bait. but it's also genius in its conception. but also not all the concepts work in execution. but also the #raw unpolished shittiness of those things are compelling in their own way. #basically basically. i cant get over the way their music grew up with me. and also im a sucker for any art that has something to say #about the digital age #i sort of love their music like i love my siblings lol. like i have always loved my siblings even when my relationship to them is miserable. #i grew up and around you i cant exactly extract you from who i am

[dykekakashi]

it is very hard for me to come to terms with the idea that like. actually people can't just be whatever they want to be. like as fantastic as the idea of shedding whatever habits u have and ur way of thinking and replacing it with something new is like i have found that to be like. literally. impossible for me. like sometimes i wake up like maybe i can become the sort of person who actually believes in these self-help books or like is very passionate about science. or whatever. i'll be the person who makes small talk with others at the grocery store line. and i've tried. sometimes i've tried rly hard and those things always felt like a particularly difficult performance as opposed to things i'm more "naturally" drawn to. idk. tbh. maybe i'm just overthinking a lot of things atm.

#i don't think it's a matter of time or intentionality either which people always try to say #like i tried to be the person into biochemistry rly hard for like. 4yrs of my life actually #and i was intentional about it and learned everything and got so much experience in it and found things within it i liked. but never #rly loved? idk. as opposed to kind of falling into history. like not to be cliche but it rly felt like. smthn i fell in love with and didn' #have to force? #i've tried rly hard these past 3 months to become the sort of person who could like this job. which is why i'm having this crisis lol #like i just can't. and part of me feels like? kind of upset about it. i guess. what do you mean i'm not a machine and i can just #clean up a few files and start over? #i know that sounds insane but it's the way i've always thought about myself. like u can edit and overwrite over and over again. to make #smthn new but that's not rly true.

[insert-neologism]

sugar water by flower face

#yellowjackets #jackieshauna #this is the 4th installment of 'making edits to every song from the album 'shark in your water' to jackieshauna' #guys weve come so far im so proud #only like. Idk 6 more songs to go? not sure but I WILL do it. #anyways so I dont fully like this one. like I think it's good its an alright edit #but doesnt live up to my standards. but Idk what i couldve done to make it better just yet soo #mostly i dont like the ending (the song is like 3mins with an amazing solo but I didnt have any ideas for that) #but I am very proud of the like fast parts #notably 'he likes to keep me half way out' and 'he's got a sharp twist no he's wicked in the heart etc' #REALLY proud of yk girls like me weve got a slow pulse. TRUTH #lol I always use that for anything that has to do with sleeping/cold ive come to realize #just like the bridge is synonym for dreaming Idk why #mine art tag #omg also love the float up to the sky part #the beginning not though which sucks bc the beginning is definitionally (?) the first thing ppl see. #BEAR WITH ME IT GETS GOOD #anyways this was the firdt song in which i had like any problems with the lyrics. curious #still loved making it #i have SO many ideas but I cant rlly make two edits at the same time like I hab to finish one and then I can start the other ones #soo youre gonna get them but probably after the shark in you water thing is donee #stay tuned gamers #mitos incredible life #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water

[cxsmiicc]

honestly unsure how this happened but i feel like it sums up my mental state pretty well

#i just think i’m a little bit insane about it rn #got the box set (box set 3) for £1.50 and i’ve never in my life been happier with a purchase #got book 4 and new spring today how exciting #i’ve only read 1 and 2 but we don’t talk about it #taking a wee break to read good omens and maybe howls then straight back into it #lanfear #wheel of time #wot #wot on prime #natasha o'keeffe #wot fanfic #wheel of time book spoilers #idk books #books and reading #books #the way babe says book is so adorable #she’s def not reading this #ily bby and i’ll be editing lanfear 4evr xx