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#libraries are extremely important for school work and im frustrated
deathbygummybears · 4 years
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the fact that i am still in school while libraries are shut down is kinda bullshit
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kraviolis · 3 years
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sorting the owl house characters into hogwarts houses, because im cringe
luz - ravenclaw
she’s creative and clever and is always searching to learn new things and loves learning just for the sake of learning. shes incredibly witty and quick thinking and open-minded. she’s constantly finding clever, creative, and original ways to solve her problems. she hardly blinked when given the opportunity to learn magic, and only continued to show an intense amount of intelligence and appreciation for academics. shes very resourceful as a human learning magic, finding a entirely new form of magic when it was apparent that she couldnt do it the traditional way. she’s very aspiring, wanting to be a witch and an author since she was very young. she’s very logical about a lot of things, like how it doesnt make sense to not allow witches to study multiple tracks or that people were imprisoned just for being themselves. she’s highly encouraging of individuality which is a lesser known trait of ravenclaw but very important. she can be a perfectionist at times and tended to avoid social interaction so she could persue her creativity. she’s outspoken, an overthinker, and very competitive. i think a lot of people might say she’s a hufflepuff, as she’s loyal and kind and hardworking, but luz values learning and creativity above any of those other things— this is evident, when she makes the decision to stay in the boiling isles to learn magic rather than go home to her mom, thus putting knowledge and creativity over her own family.
eda - gryffindor
she’s not afraid to stand up for herself and others and will never back down from a challenge. she would rather die as herself than live unauthentically. she’s very passionate and empathetic. she’s rebellious against rules that dont make sense to her and cares intensely for her friends and family. she has a strong internal moral code that she sticks to intensely, never straying from it. in the very first episode, she breaks into the conformatorium just to get a paper crown thats important to king. she let raine break up with her because she didnt want to burden them with her curse. she forfeited the match with lily because she knew her sister wanted to be in the emperor’s coven more than she ever did. she’s sacrifices herself for luz & king over and over again because she cares so deeply for her.
king - slytherin
he’s self-centered, smart, arrogant, and highly ambitious. he would do anything to achieve his goals— which was at first reclaiming his throne as the king of demons, and then turned into finding out where he came from. he tried to use luz as a means to reach his goals when he became an author, nearly sacrificing their friendship. he became incredibly loyal to luz after that in the same way he’s loyal to eda, the one who raised him.
(other characters under the cut)
lily - slytherin
it was between this and ravenclaw, because she’s incredibly intelligent and does seem to enjoy learning and has a great mind, she’s also incredibly ambitious and prideful. the deciding factor was that she cursed eda just to reach her own goals. she’s still loyal to eda even when working for belos, which says a lot to how she’s loyal to only a select few people. to her, the ends justify the means (making amity cheat to appear like the better teacher, cursing eda to win the duel, kidnapping luz to get belos to cure eda, losing her magic to help eda)
amity - gryffindor
this one was hard, i swapped between slytherin and gryffindor a lot for her. she’s ambitious and intelligent, but also not afraid to do whats right even if means breaking the rules. she’s self-sacrificing and empathetic and prideful. she ended her friendship with boscha to help luz and willow win. she didnt like luz at first because luz kept cheating and messing up her life, which means she has a strong moral code against cheating and bullies. she’s rebellious in small ways at first but once she started realizing how terrible her parents and belos really were, she pulled away extremely quickly.
willow - slytherin
not surprising, if you take into her account of self-preservation and bending of the rules to suit her ambitions. in the first episode she agrees to cheating just to get ahead in school because she wants to make her parents proud, and in the end she switches to the plants track so to her the ends justify the means. she pulled out of the grudgby game when luz pushed her & gus too far, a perfect example of that self preservation. she has a sense of loyalty that extends to very specific people but she always makes sure those people are taken care of. her parents, luz, gus, and eventually king, eda, and amity, too. she wouldn’t die for them, but she would kill for them.
gus - hufflepuff
sure, he has the ravenclaw curiousity and thirst for knowledge, but he’s very kind, hard working, has a strong inner sense of justice and fairness, and is tolerant of others. he helps mattholomule even if he’d been a jerk before because it was unfair if he didnt. he helps luz break into belos’s castle to find a cure for eda, lets luz borrow his library card to see amity, and hated it when mattholomule tried to lie about the human objects. he knows what it feels like to be left behind and underestimated, so he makes an effort to be kind to others who seem to be in the same boat. he’s very young but already so accomplished which is a testament to how hard he works.
hunter - hufflepuff
this one was HARD. it was either slytherin or this, and a deciding factor for this is the fact that he is self-sacrificing. he sacrifices a lot for other people, even if it doesnt seem like it. in the palisman episode, he sacrifices the palismen getting away despite knowing he would be punished for returning empty-handed. in eclipse lake, he leaves to find the titans blood for belos when he simply could have stayed in the castle and been safe. he’s viciously hard-working, dedicated, and loyal to his family. he lets people’s actions speak for them. he doesn’t immediately judge luz for using wild magic and actually seems interested in it before remembering to be loyal to belos. he’s patient, too, as seen by his interactions with luz. he gets frustrated, sure, but he still works with her. he’s modest about his rank and title, preferring to not flaunt it more than needed. but he does take pride in it. he’s kind in his own way, specifically to belos and lil rascal, but you can see it in his interactions with amity & luz, too. with amity, he empathizes with her and gives her advice that he thinks is true, and offers to dig a grave for her too when its apparent that neither of them are getting any titans blood. with luz, he gives up the palismen and protects her from kikimora. that boy is a hufflepuff for sure.
raine - gryffindor
oh buddy theyre the biggest gryffindor ever. they extremely, extremely brave. they have terrible stage fright and anxiety but they still became head bard, and they still ran an underground resistance group, and they still gave everything up just to help eda. they have a strong sense of whats right and whats wrong and incredible amount of passion, empathy, and integrity. they have a great sense of pride— “How did someone with stage fright end up as Head Witch?” “I’m just that good.”— and are very selfless. they stopped eda from sacrificing herself because they knew her kids needed her more, they sacrificed themselves in eda’s place and gave up everything they had just so eda wouldnt have to.
camila - hufflepuff
she’s extraordinarily kind, even when she’s terrified. she’s accepting and open-minded and hardworking, making sure to show luz that she loves her creativity but still wants to make sure luz can do well in school and can make friends. sometimes you can do something you think is kind but isnt really. she’s also a single mother doing her best to give her daughter a good life, which is a credit to how hard she works and how dedicated she is to her daughter. she even took the day off of work to drive luz to camp because she knew luz was anxious and wanted to reassure her. she’s patient with luz, and even when faced with the scariest moment of her life, she’s still thinking of how luz feels rather than her own fears and anger. she’s very much a hufflepuff in the way that she’s quiet and unassuming but fiercely protective of her family.
vee - slytherin
she’s opportunistic and has a sense of self-preservation. she’d rather save her own skin than do that right thing. she’s cunning, having pretended to be camila’s daughter just to have a place for herself. this isnt a bad thing at all, though. she’s also loyal to camila, who she sees as her family, and even got into a fight with luz over how she treated camila. she still listened to luz and let luz help her so that vee could remain living as luz. she doesnt feel guilty about valuing herself ahead of luz.
belos - ravenclaw
honestly? not a hard decision. he’s smart, sure, but he’s not people-smart. he didnt think lilith would betray him after he admitted to lying about healing eda. he doesnt understand loyalty, not even to those close to him. he’s rational and logical rather than emotional. if the theory that he is philip wittebane is to be believed, then its obvious he has an appreciation for learning and knowledge. belos distinctly reminds me of lockhart, or even quirrell, who were also in ravenclaw. he’s got an arrogance to him that blinds him, believing himself to be the smartest and strongest witch on the isles and thus underestimating others, which will only lead him to ruin.
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local-ground-apple · 3 years
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Headcanons for diasomnia with reader who has insomnia/has troubles with falling asleep?
living for the concept
half of diasomnia doesn’t even sleep, change my mind
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,,I haven’t slept for three days and my body will soon collapse. Could you perhaps put me under sleeping curse?” “Absolutely not”
🐲 Malleus is extremely worried about your lack of sleeping schedule and he’s even more worried and concerned that you actually bombard him with questions to put you under a sleeping curse. He politely refuses each of them,
🐲 Malleus doesn’t really sleep, but he is aware of the importance of it to humans. He tells you to come to his room, whenever you are having troubles falling asleep. So you often accidentally scare Sebek when you appear out of nowhere on Diasomnia corridor in the middle of the night, waking up half of the dorm, 
🐲 sometimes just Malleus’ presence helps you fall asleep faster. He lays down beside you, as you wrap your arms around his chest, pulling yourself closer. His fingers gently trace circles on your skin, alleviating any tension from your muscles. His body temperature is lower than yours and you often find it comforting,
🐲 yet sometimes his presence alone isn’t enough,
,,How about sle-“ “iM nOt pUtTiNg yOu uNdEr a sLeePiNg cUrSe” “gee, chill”
🐲 at first he was reluctant to use any sort of temporary spell to make you fall asleep. Malleus don’t really want to use any kind of magic on you, yet you’re pestering him about this spinning wheel. All the time, 
🐲 and that’s when self-proclaimed father of Diasomnia also known as Lilia enters into action,
🐲 whenever Malleus’ presence doesn’t make you fall asleep, this old man will do it in the span of maximum three minutes (never fails, Lilia’s services are top notch). His magical lullaby is guaranteed to help you fall into slumber in Malleus’ arms
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🦇 you can’t fall asleep? Don’t worry, that ancient bat has your back. He probably doesn’t sleep himself, but he is more than willing to help you out,
🦇 Lilia has four strategies and depending on how you’re feeling or how hard it is for you to fall asleep, he will use one of them, 
🦇 sometimes you fall asleep just with his soothing presence alone. He will tuck you in the bed, laying beside you, as his arms wraps around you. Lilia may bury his head in the crook of your neck, leaving small kisses on your skin, 
🦇 if that doesn’t work, he will lull you to sleep with various stories from Malleus’ and Silver’s childhood, whispering them softly in your ear, while his fingers gently run through your hair,
🦇 if you still can’t get a decent rest, Lilia will sing you a lullaby (normal at first), a good one, which may I add, should make you slowly drift away to dreamland. His voice is soothing and calming, instantly calming down your whole body. Lilia also knows a magical lullaby, as Silver often calls it. It never fails, since magic is involved, but he will use it on you, only if you really can’t fall asleep,
🦇 Lilia actually likes watching your sleeping form, his hands gently brusing your hair or tracing your jawline. He finds you absolutely ethereal and stunning,
🦇 and yes, you will never catch him watching you sleep. He’s way too sneaki,
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 ⚔️ what an irony. How he wishes he was the one who can’t fall asleep, while you would give up almost everything to finally get a decent rest. Truly ironic,
⚔️ Lilia is always teasing you, saying what a perfect match the two of you are. You are laying on the bed with wide open eyes, staring blankly at the ceiling, while Silver is peacefully sleeping beside you. Truly, an exquisite sight
“Ufufufu~~~~what a perfect yet ironic match, don’t you think so Little One?”
⚔️ you and Silver tried a lot of things. A lot. Starting with lowering the temperature in the room, practicing yoga or meditation, blankets, exercising before going to bed to tire you out and even trying aromatherapy. Yet, any of the attempts proved to be successful,
⚔️ at this point you were on brink of insanity and were heavily debating whether to politely ask Malleus to let you prick your finger on his spinning wheel, yet Silver absolutely forbade you,
⚔️ you decided to try one more thing, before going to Lilia for help,
⚔️ Silver laid on the bed beside you, as you gave him the questioning look. Soon you felt his arms wrap around you waist, pulling you closer. You buried your head in his chest, listening to his even heart beat which was soothing you. His hand gently run through your hair, as his warm breath gently tickled your skin,
⚔️ yes, you finally managed to fall asleep, 
⚔️ for one night, then you two went to Lilia, 
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,,Could you at least try to stop screaming? Like, maybe that’s why I can’t fall asleep” “I’m pretty sure not, cause according to this book….”
⚡ you were surprised he didn’t yell at you. No, he listened to your frustrated rant about not getting decent amount of sleep, giving you his full attention. Sebek was going to take any necessary steps to grant your wish, 
⚡ Sebek may not show it, yet he’s worried. Extremely worried. He may not put it in the words, yet his actions will tell you everything, 
⚡ after your umpteenth sleepless night and another day of you dragging your exhausted body around the school, he is more than determined to solve your problem,
⚡ Sebek head straight to the library (after his daily duty is finished of course) and begins his research, scanning through multiple books. Honestly, your heart warms and melts at the mere sight of Sebek deeply engrossed in reading one, ancient volume, while hundred of other books are scattered over his bedroom, 
⚡ Lilia finds it extremely cute and won’t shut up about this, 
⚡ Sebek will try literally every method with you. Literally every. Strating with natural ones, ending on magical spells and asking Lilia, you both will spend few days experimenting, 
⚡ you’re both very fond of aromatherapy. You absolutely adore slowly falling asleep to the faint scent of damask rose diffusing in your room, encouraging you to sleep. Sebek always pulls you closer to his chest, while you both inhale gentle fragrances, putting you to sleep, 
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shoichee · 3 years
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Hello! Can I perhaps ask for no. 28. “Make me” from your prompt list for my beloved Imayoshi? It's so nice seeing him here on your theme and avatar and that pERFECT url, it feels like I finally found my people.
HELLO HELLO, and YES I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT NO ONE TOOK THIS URL... considering that it was just an alternative spelling of shoichi and its a rlly short handle too mwehe // im sort of a particular person when it comes to how something looks, whether itd be outfits, drawings, coloring, and the UI of a blog, u name it.... i may have spent hours trying to have the perfect colors for this theme PLEASEEEE, but without further ado here is our man, our little shit, Imayoshi
@knb-kreations howdy! another new work posted here!
Imayoshi x Reader
28. “Make me”
Word Count: 2331
prompt list here
»»————— ☼ —————««
Imayoshi doesn’t exactly know how he feels about you.
Scratch that, he does know. He’s quite amused at the shenanigans you pull on others around you, and a lot of times, you actually elicit a few dry laughs out of the guy. Other times though, he’d wish that you would just shut the fuck up, especially when all he hears amidst his studying was your loud “whispering” and “hushed” jokes. How you were always nearby no matter where he is was still a mystery that he casually ponders about from time to time. Perhaps your natural tendency to project your voice creates the illusion that you were near when you really weren’t?
No matter, such trivial thoughts can’t occupy his mind when college entrance exams loom closer. Then again, they weren’t particularly difficult; they were simply a hassle to secure near-perfect scores, especially when his chances of admittance rely critically on how well he does.
“That’s an awful drawing of a samurai,” Susa comments, snapping Imayoshi out of idle thought.
“Ho? Is it really terrible if you were able to tell what it is?” Imayoshi chuckles. “The point of a drawing is to convey the right idea or emotion. It seems that my drawing skills hit a bulls-eye with this sketch, no?” He playfully spins his pencil around, patiently waiting for his reply to goad him.
All Susa does in response is to roll his eyes before he turns his full attention back to his notes. He knows better than to try a comeback against Imayoshi, who can easily make it backfire against the person with a pleasant close-eyed smile. Imayoshi, seeing Susa’s nonverbal resign from engaging further banter, also looks down back to his book of scribbled notes and chicken-scratch drawings before he exhales an inaudible sigh.
School just doesn’t cut out to be mentally stimulating for him. It’s a little too repetitive and mundane for his taste.
“Argh!! Oh no!” your voice rang out, despite your poor attempt to be reasonably quiet. “I forgot applications for the Coca-Cola scholarship are due today!”
Coca-Cola… what?
Everyone looks up to warily eye you, and your few friends, who are currently rushing to pull you down and slap their hands over your mouth to mute you, were panicking at the new attention you managed to garner. Even still, your mind seems more fixated on whatever was on the laptop’s screen, rather than what they were doing to you.
Imayoshi can’t help but stifle his audible mirth from how you manage to change the mood of the entire library within seconds.
“How do you even forget something as important as a huge scholarship like that?” Susa says in dismay. “Makes me kind of wonder how (l/n) would handle life after graduation, to be honest.”
“Well,” Imayoshi begins. “I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s best not to underestimate (l/n)-san. Surely we’ve learned our lesson with Seirin?” He toys with the pencil grip before he sporadically draws some lines loosely resembling another sketch.
“Drawing again?” Susa raises a brow. “Have you even been studying?”
“Well,” he replies. “There’s still plenty of time before exams—months to be exact. Could you even study with the current distractions in here?” At his own words, he nudges his chin in your direction.
“It’s not just any exams though, it’s—”
“Whether they have more importance or not doesn’t really concern me. After all, standardized testing isn’t worth stressing out for when we’ve taken essentially the same thing all our lives.”
“What most are worried about is the content inside the exams, Imayoshi,” he said, carefully treading into dangerous waters with Imayoshi’s tendency to take all replies as mind-game challenges for his own amusement.
“‘If you have been paying attention consistently throughout the year, you wouldn’t be having much trouble…’ that’s what you once oh-so-wisely said to Wakamatsu yesterday, hmm?” His mimicking tone drips a hint of arrogance. “Unless you mean to tell me my ears do not work? But by all means, please feel free to correct me.”
“That’s different,” he sighed, his face clearly evident that he was done with Imayoshi’s shit. “That exam only tested content for the past year, not your entire academic repertoire over the courses of middle and high school.”
“I’d like to think that the logic still applies the same way.”
“Well,” Susa heaves with a languid stretch. “You generally score better on the exams than me, so you’re probably right. Still, don’t neglect your studying.”
“Right, right, Susa-senpai~”
“... Please don’t call me that again.”
“... If you say so,” he said, but his smile blatantly showed his real intentions of never stopping his irritable quips. Susa gets ready to pack up his book bag before he heads out the door with a friendly wave. Imayoshi half-heartedly returns the gesture with a casual wave of his own. He immediately notices you also packed up and about to leave with a worried frown, and of course, while audibly mumbling your concerns and makeshift schedules to accommodate time for last-minute essay writing. By now, all of your friends have left for home.
“Ah, biology lab due next week, kanji worksheets due tomorrow, hmm, um, how would I finish this on time… ah, calculus test is tomorrow too, ah shit… should I ask someone to tutor?—ah, but it’s super last minute, and there’s still that scholarship… argh, fuck!” Your voice peaked in volume at the end, and the librarian immediately shot daggers at you.
“Shhhhh!”
“A-Ah! S-Sorry, sorry!”
Imayoshi was watching you with his chin on his arm propped up on the desk, unable to control the smile that escaped his lips. You really were entertaining to watch, and you never cease to bore him.
He turns away to crack his neck and roll it around before methodically packing up his writing utensils and notebooks. Soft shuffling filled the air as he rearranged the items inside his bag. As he turns to pack the last thing on the table, which happened to be the notebook filled with his idle doodling, his face slightly softens at the drawing he did after the samurai. Yes, the one Susa chastised him for when he could’ve been studying. Yes, perhaps he was right when he was terrible at drawing after all; your panicked face and wild hand gestures didn’t really translate well into paper, and it looked a little too much like a horror comic and less than a sketch of you. Still, he’s oddly proud of it.
Imayoshi promptly pushes the chair in and leaves the library, but when he rounds the corner of the adjacent hallway, he bumps into you.
“Er—hi! I mean, please, uhhh… if it isn’t too much to ask—canyoupleasetutormeforthecalculustesttomorrowbecausemyfinalgradedependsonthat?”
Imayoshi winces at the sheer volume of your voice and plugs his ears in out of habit to block out some of the decibels. Wakamatsu was eerily similar to you in that regard. Only difference between the two of you was that you were deceptively intelligent. Extremely so.
“My, my, if it isn’t (l/n)-senpai!” He fakes a surprised look, earning him an eye roll on your end. “You need someone like me to teach you the works?”
“I—what? We’re literally in the same calc class, Imayoshi,” you retort. “Besides, drop the ‘senpai’ honorific. It feels so slimy when you say it so disingenuously… Aren’t we both 3rd years too?”
“I’m so hurt,” he mocks. “What if I was really genuine with you?”
“Look, right now, no remarks from you, Evil Glasses,” you say. “It’s really, really urgent and I don’t know how to grasp the material for the class lately, plus my essay, ugh…” You rub your fingers against your temples in an attempt to make the stressful headaches disappear while Imayoshi simply watches with his eyes slightly open.
“... You usually do well on all your exams, no? Unless my eyes and memory fail me.” It was true; even though you were as loud-mouthed as Wakamatsu, you would often shock a lot of people when your name always appeared in the higher percentiles of exam results. Apparently most students and teachers associate your rowdy personality with an expected subpar academic performance. He has you to thank for when your score reports always cause reactions of utter disbelief from the teachers. You really do liven up the school and make it a lot more unorthodox.
“I guess…” you mumble. “But I really wanna do especially well for this one because math is my weakest subject, and you always score the highest for these types of exams, so…”
“It may be my best subject,” he says, leaning slightly closer to your face. “But I’m not the one with the highest scores in any math subjects throughout these years, and we both know that quite well, don’t we, (l/n)? Why don’t you come clean about the real reason why you’re here?”
“Oh my literal fuck—Imayoshi, you’re one of the best students in calc right now regardless of exam results,” you petulantly huffed, not backing down from his intimidation. Imayoshi notes your cheeks reddening, and he figured it was either because of the close proximity between your faces or the fact you were frustrated… perhaps both. “And you’re the only one around here on campus who I could ask!”
“Really now,” he chimes, moving closer to whisper in your ear. “Are you sure?” With incoherent stammers, you backed away from him, slapping your hands against both of your ears to protect them.
“W-W-What the fuck are you doing?!”
“Looks like I won this one, (l/n)-san,” he purrs, relishing the fact that only he could render you this quiet. “Ho? What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”
“I—Shut up!” you lamely shoot back. “You can just say no if you really don’t wanna do this—urgh, I’m leaving, I’m not gonna waste any more time—”
“How hurtful,” he dryly remarks, standing up straight again after leaning for a quite a while. “It’s almost as if you’re rejecting me~” He knew you would always take his bait and quip back (unlike Susa), regardless of whether or not you tell him that you weren’t going to engage further.
“As if,” you snorted, making another exaggerated eye roll. “You’re the last person who would ever be hurt from this.”
“Dear me!” he exclaims. “Have you ever considered that perhaps I don’t help out people for free? Did you think I would be a gracious, selfless person who would help you like a saint?”
“Okay, fine! Perhaps I didn’t think that far ahead, okay? You just were the first person that came to mind, and I thought asking you wouldn’t hurt.” His smirk widens almost maliciously at your words, lips already opening to deliver another irritating quip before you immediately spoke again to stop him. “Okay, Imayoshi, you little shit, just shut up—I don’t wanna hear anything from your mouth right now.”
“I don’t see any reason why I should listen to you at all,” he muses. “Why don’t you make me?” He has a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, eagerly eyeing your next move, and as he expected, you let out a frustrated noise that prompted passerby students to shoot pointed looks towards the both of you.
What he didn’t expect was for you to take a huge step towards him, unceremoniously pull him down to your level, and press a reverberating smack on his lips. His eyes are immediately blown wide open to look at your embarrassed, but determined face. His fingers unconsciously move to touch his warmed lips.
“... That was quite romantic, wasn’t it, (l/n)?” he dryly says, recovering almost immediately from the shock. All the other students fled from the blatantly bold scene to save face. Not that Imayoshi really cared.
“Okay, you know what? Bye, I’m not gonna play anymore mind games with you,” you grumble. “Essays and studying aren’t gonna be done by themselves—wah!”
Imayoshi gently tugs you back to reciprocate back a kiss, meticulously slipping his hands behind your head and on your waist to accommodate you. Your eyes are completely open from the shock that the Imayoshi Shoichi was actually kissing you. You don’t close your eyes from the sensation, completely entranced when you make eye contact with his half-lidded eyes watching your every reaction closely. The kiss ended all too soon, and Imayoshi separates himself from you, secretly admiring your dazed look.
“That was quite a strong reaction to just a simple kiss.”
“I—that was not just a ‘simple kiss!’”
“Now would you like to tell me the true reason why you approached me?”
“You��re… insinuating that you know something.”
“Well we wouldn’t know unless you come clean,” Imayoshi purrs. “I can sometimes be wrong too.”
“Ugh, what the hell—fine, I am quite enamored by you, and uh, I… find it infuriating to be with you, but it also gives me butterflies… so I thought I could be with you more… if I asked you—don’t get it twisted, though! I still need your help to study!...” He covers his mouth to suppress a laugh at your honesty.
“Was it really so hard to say that in the beginning, (l/n)-san?”
“Okay, that’s it! I’m really, really leaving! Fuck off, Imayoshi, I swear to—”
“Ho? Just a minute, darling~” he tuts, reaching to hold your hand. “Perhaps if you offer more kisses as an incentive, I’d be more inclined to offer my expertise.”
“How quaint,” you dryly reply. “It’s almost as if we’re in a relationship.”
Imayoshi can’t help but bark out a genuine laugh. You even managed to pick up some of his mannerisms so quickly.
“That’s an interesting proposal, (l/n),” he murmurs. “Should we try that?” You tut at him irritatedly as you tug your interlocked hands while speed-walking ahead.
“Hurry up, or I’ll consider breaking up with you right now.”
“Ah ha!~” he chuckles at your attitude. “How mean, (l/n)-san! Too bad that we both know that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”
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dreamhck · 5 years
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     𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎  !  my name is tessa, i’m twenty  (  it still weirds me out and it’s been three months  )  and i’m from the aest timezone.  this is artemis, aka 꿈  (  kkum  —  korean for dream, so named because much like a dream, they come while you’re asleep and ruin your peace, but leave you none the wiser when you wake up  )  and they’re one of the kumiho’s hackers.  i’ve got an about page for them over here, but a somewhat summarised version of all the important stuff is also under the cut.
(  heo hyunjoon, demiboy, he/they, 19.  )  —  𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆, better known to the authorities as 𝐊𝐊𝐔𝐌, has been working for the kumiho for around 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 as a 𝐇𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑. rumor has it, they can be 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 & 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 but also 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 & 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 which is why amethysts, the smell of nature after rain, rays of sunlight filtering into a vast library, and a veil of dust over beloved objects makes me think of them.  (  tessa, she/they, 20, aest.  )
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒
name : artemis hyunbin jeong
nicknames : tem, art, binnie  (  prefers binnie from family only, tem from anyone else  )
alias : 꿈 — kkum, dream in korean.
age : nineteen
date of birth : 4 may 2000
place of birth : melbourne, australia
gender : demi male
pronouns : he/they  (  prefers they  )
orientation : panromantic demisexual  (  or something  )
occupation : student, hacker, philanthropist
nationality : korean, australian
ethnicity : korean
current residence : seoul, south korea
face claim : heo hyunjoon ( hwall )
height : 180 cm
hair colour : black
eye colour : black
tattoos : none
piercings : two per ear
clothing style : pretty, semi-formal
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐎
born 4 may 2000,  in melbourne, australia.  their parents weren’t really ready for kids,  despite already having one child,  who was significantly older than artemis  (  about 5-8 yrs  ).
moved to korea just after they started primary school,  knew virtually no korean at that point.  attended an international school at first,  moved to a regular private school in middle school.
got into coding in middle school because they had fewer friends  &  a lot more enemies.  also became more jaded and generally quick to assume the worst of people.
during high school,  became lazy,  unmotivated and bored  (  artemis’ personal theory is that they’re just mildly depressed,  but that doesn’t really change anything.  )  and their parents thrust more responsibilities re: the family business on them in order to stop that.
it didn’t really work,  just made artemis more frustrated  /  bored with their life,  which led to them beginning to hack things.  they started small,  changing attendance records and generally improving their school’s computer system...  but quickly moved on to bigger and better things.  after they redistributed over six million won from their parents’ business partner’s company to struggling countries & charities,  the kumiho took notice of them and got in touch.
needless to say,  artemis accepted their offer,  and it was extremely beneficial for their mood.
they’re currently pursuing a degree in economics,  as well as spending almost all their spare time attending functions and arranging charities and suchlike.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒
honestly i’m down for anything  !  i’m really bad at plotting a lot of the time,  especially if i don’t have a clear feeling of how our muses might interact,  but once we start a thread i’ll probably come up with a ton of ideas.  i’m also a huge sucker for angst and platonic stuff,  and you’re welcome to just spam my ims with ideas.
some specific things that might work,  though,  are  :
that one member of the crew that they just really hate for no reason  (  or for a kinda dumb reason  )
partner in crime  /  bff
gaming friends  /  general friends
legit anything soft or angsty or both
fake dating  (  legit or ends in romance  )
rivals to friends  (  to lovers  )
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donghyxns · 7 years
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Good Times
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character/s: 2young (jinyoung + youngjae)
word count: 3,298
genre: angst
summary: park jinyoung transfers into choi youngjae’s class on a cold but sunny day and things begin to get cute between them
*disclaimer!! this involves drunk driving, car crashes, and death so if you are not comfortable with that please don’t read this!! 
i have posted this on wattpad before also so if it look familiar that is why :)
Youngjae still remembers how cold the classroom was that day. He remembers how sunny it was outside and how he couldn’t wait until it was lunch time. He remembers the excited whispers of the girls and the groans of the boys.
That was the day Park Jinyoung transferred to his class.
Jinyoung was the most popular boy in the school and was always located in classroom 2-C.
No one knows why Jinyoung transferred to class 2-D, but no one really questioned it either. Everybody was just happy there was finally a hot boy in their class.
“Youngjae!” The teacher calls out, snapping Youngjae out of his brief daydream. Youngjae lifts his head to look at the teacher.
“Yes?” He asks with a perplexed tone to his voice. Everybody giggles and Youngjae hears a couple people mutter under their breaths insults.
“Show Mr.Park who you are.” Youngjae rolls his eyes, putting an earbud in his ear and raises his hand, “Jinyoung, you will sit behind him. Good luck.” The teacher pats him on the back before sending him off to his seat.
Jinyoung walks towards Youngjae, capturing his gaze before winking. Youngjae can smell his cologne, knowing it was an expensive brand.
Not only was Jinyoung the most attractive, sporty, nice kid at their school he was also the richest. He drives a different car each day of the week and they are usually Lamborghini’s or  BMW’s.
Youngjae didn’t know why his parents would buy their kid those expensive cars, maybe it was a rich person thing.
Who knows.
Youngjae remembers the first time Jinyoung ever talked to him. It was in gym class. Youngjae was walking around the track with nobody with him and all of a sudden, Jinyoung runs up to him and starts chatting up a storm.
Youngjae was quite confused but happy.
Nobody usually talked to Youngjae. He has always been the outcast and every single time someone would even talk to him, Youngjae was filled with happiness.
“Choi Youngjae!” Jinyoung runs up beside Youngjae and puts his arm around the younger’s shoulders, “How are you?”
“I’m a bit tired… What about you?” Youngjae awkwardly responds making Jinyoung bite his lip and giggle a bit.
“I’m good. I’m good. I’m actually really happy I got moved to class 2-D. Class 2-C was full of idiots. Like, can’t add or subtract kind of idiots.” Jinyoung rambles, never taking his arm off of Youngjae’s shoulders.
“Oh, wow. That’s pretty bad.” Youngjae and Jinyoung chuckle before the coach blows his whistle for the class to go back inside the gym.
“Well, Youngjae, let’s talk sometime in class, Okay?” Jinyoung winks before fully turning his body away from Youngjae and sprinting inside.
What is up with him and winking?
Youngjae remembers the first time Jinyoung sat with him at lunch. The school was serving their oh-so-famous, Deep Dish Pizza, where it tasted like a soft, greasy piece of cardboard.
Youngjae never really sat with anyone, he just sat at a table alone on his laptop or behind a book.
He never really minded though.
“Hey, Youngjae!” Jinyoung waves from across the lunchroom, focusing everybody's attention to the younger.
Youngjae blushed heavily before waving back and Jinyoung took the wave back as an invitation to come sit with him.
Jinyoung puts down his blue Powerade and Deep Dish Pizza, before sitting down across from Youngjae, “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Well, it’s going.” Youngjae tears off a piece of the pizza before stuffing it in his mouth.
Jinyoung smiles brightly, “Are you ready to see who you got partnered up with for that Biology project?”
Youngjae nods his head, “It could literally be anyone and I would be fine with it.”
Jinyoung tilts his head in confusion, “You would like to be partnered up with, Im. Jae.Bum???” Jinyoung puts emphasis on each syllable in his name.
"Oh, that’s right! He is in our class!” Youngjae shakes his head, “I would not like to be partnered up with him.”
“He’s lazy and all he cares about is his reputation.” Jinyoung clicks his tongue, opening his Powerade and take a drink of it.
“Jinyoung,” Youngjae calls out grabbing the attention of the elder, “Why do you al-“ The sound of the bell cuts him off.
“You can ask me another, right? I have to go, I have health science next.” Jinyoung pats Youngjae’s head before running off to his other group of friends, leaving Youngjae all alone once again.
Youngjae remembers the feeling of the cold Biology classroom. It was the day they were going to be assigned partners, Youngjae hoped and prayed he wouldn’t get partnered up with Im Jaebum.
Youngjae remembers the excited chatter, girls hoping they would be partnered up together, couples hoping they would be partnered up together. Youngjae remembers sitting there waiting for Jinyoung to come in, hoping he would sit next to him.
He didn’t.
Jinyoung walks into the classroom, slightly shivering at how cold the room was.
“Hey, teach!” Jinyoung calls out playfully, “Isn’t it too cold in here? My limbs feel like they are about to fall off!” The classroom breaks out into a low laughter as the teacher stands, acting like he was going to hit Jinyoung.
Youngjae admired Jinyoung.
He admired the way he could be himself and not care about what people said about him. He admired the way Jinyoung could literally get along with every person in this whole school.
Youngjae’s eyes follow Jinyoung around the classroom, in a silent plead to sit by him, but Jinyoung doesn’t lock eyes with the younger and he sits in the very back with all of the jocks and popular kids.
Youngjae sighs, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Youngjae thought Jinyoung actually liked him and seeing Jinyoung choose the popular kids over him made Youngjae feel like the lowest of the low trash.
“Okay, everybody!” The teacher claps, grabbing Youngjae’s attention immediately, “I have set your partners so NO you cannot change them!” The class groans in frustration to which the teacher smiles.
“I will go over the list now. Sohye and Jihyeon…Tyler and Gwanghyun…” Youngjae’s attention fades out, not really caring who got paired up at this point. Youngjae stares blankly at his desk wishing that someone would actually be his friend.
“Youngjae and Jinyoung…” The teacher calls out, making Youngjae whip his head up.
His partner was Jinyoung???
Youngjae remembers how nervous he had been waiting for Jinyoung at the public library. He remembers the quiet chatter and occasionally a screaming kid.
Youngjae loved the library.
Not anymore.
He had been waiting for 10 minutes, but he was extremely early. They agreed on the time 5:30 and it was 4:39. Youngjae couldn’t help it, for once Youngjae had been early to something.
He was nervous to be meeting with Jinyoung. He had always admired him and for him to work on a project with him was almost a dream come true.
Youngjae looks at his hand, which were shaking and sweaty. His leg was bouncing up and down with nerves. Every time he heard the little bell that signaled a person coming in, his head would whip up but would fall in disappointment every single time.
He looked at his watch to see what the time was.
6:21 P.M.
Youngjae scoffed in disbelief. He got stood up, not even on a date, but for a project. Youngjae stands up, gathering his things in an angry manner when he hears the bell chime.
Jinyoung walks in with labored breathing and sweat gathering on his forehead. Jinyoung looks around the library, almost in a panic, before his eyes land on Youngjae.
“I’m sorry!” He exclaims, running over to Youngjae. The younger just sighed, slightly aggravated.
Youngjae sets his stuff back down, pulling out a chair and plopping down in it.
“I lost track of time, Youngjae. I really am sorry.” Jinyoung apologizes, his head falling in shame.
Youngjae laughs emptily, “It’s okay, I know I’m not important. So what do we need to do for this project?”
Jinyoung stares at Youngjae with a shocked face, “You are so important.”
“How?” Youngjae asks, agitation clear in his voice. Jinyoung leans back in his chair.
“Do you not know how many people love you, Youngjae?” Jinyoung asks, knitting his eyebrows together.
“My mom loves me. That’s it.”  Youngjae scoffs while crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair.
“That’s not tru-“ Jinyoung tries to counter but Youngjae cuts him off.
“Name one more person who loves me then!” He exclaims, suddenly emotional.
Jinyoung swallows and looks around the place awkwardly before clearing his throat, “Me.”
Youngjae remembers the first time Jinyoung met his mother. It was slightly chilly out, it was the start of fall.
October, Youngjae’s favorite month. There were leaves falling out of the trees making a beautiful scene.
Youngjae was nervous but Jinyoung was about to have a heart attack because of how nervous he was.
Youngjae wished he could have relived this moment, as it was his happiest.
“Jinyoung, just calm down! My mom won’t murder you.” Youngjae grasps Jinyoung’s hand, leading him to his house. It has been 4 months since the two start dating, his mom knowing the whole time.
She wanted to meet him, so Youngjae thought today was the perfect day, seeing how it was her birthday, “What if she hates me and makes me break up with you?” Jinyoung rambles while his heart beat was increasing rapidly.
“Don’t worry!” Youngjae playfully hits Jinyoung’s chest, “She already likes you with how much I talk about you.”
“You talk about me?” Jinyoung smiles widely, sort of blushing a bit.
“Of course! I’m not ashamed of you.” Youngjae pulls him inside the warm house. Jinyoung was enveloped by the warm smell of home cooking.
“Mom! Jinyoung is here!” Youngjae calls out, taking his shoes off at the front door. Jinyoung hears scurrying feet and out comes an older looking lady with black hair.
“Jinyoung!” She runs over to the male, taking his face in her arms and kissing his face rapidly like she had known him forever.
Jinyoung knew this is where he wanted to be forever.
Forever came too soon.
There were bad times with Jinyoung.
Insecure fights and many days of silent treatment.
There were more good times though.
Jinyoung treated Youngjae like a prince. He would buy the younger anything he wanted, they would go on multiple dates throughout the week.
The bad times didn’t happen often but there was this one night it was especially bad.
The pair had been dating for 6 months at this point. Six months of dating is the worst, people say. You get out of the “honeymoon” phase and your true colors shine through.
Youngjae and Jinyoung had big insecurities that they didn’t want to show to each other but it came out one night.
“I don’t know why you are so fucking insecure about the smallest thing, Youngjae.”  Snow was falling out of the sky at a rapid pace, making the ground incredibly slick.
“I don’t like you hanging out with Mark! Is that so bad?” Youngjae questions as Jinyoung storms away in the direction of his car.
“Yeah, am I not allowed to have friends?” Jinyoung throws his hands up in frustration as he reaches his car door.
Youngjae stops looking at Jinyoung with a tensed face, “You can have friends just not Mark! He is always all over you.”
Jinyoung scoffs, getting into his car but not shutting the door, “Youngjae, get in we can talk about this more in the car.”
Youngjae crosses his arms, “No, I’m not getting in the car.”
Jinyoung looks at the younger with an incredulous look, “Get in the fucking car, man. We can talk about this at my place! You are starting a scene.”
Youngjae rolls his eyes, “Fuck you. I will ride the bus.” Youngjae turns on his heels and walks in the direction of the buses.
“Youngjae!” Jinyoung calls out making Youngjae stop briefly, “I love you.” Jinyoung states before Youngjae hears his close his door and start the ignition.
Youngjae stares at Jinyoung as he backs out of his parking space and exits the school parking lot.
Youngjae sits at his desk, staring at the picture of him and Jinyoung at their first date. Jinyoung had taken him to the aquarium, knowing how much Youngjae loved seeing the colorful fishes.
Youngjae was sitting at this exact desk, looking at this exact picture when his mom bust through the door in tears.
“Youngjae!! Oh god,” Youngjae’s mother opens his door without knocking, “Sweetie…” She sobs loudly, scaring the living crap out of him.
What is wrong?
Did something happen with dad or grandma?
“Mom? What’s wrong?” He searches her face for any signs, but only sees the agony in her scrunched up face.
“Baby…Jinyoung,” She sobs once again, “Jinyoung is in critical condition in the hospital. He- he wrecked his car and it flipped 4 times. He was ejected on the 3rd flip and hit a tree.”
“We need to go see him!” Youngjae’s body goes on auto-pilot, he was too numb to do anything but stand up.
“Youngjae? Are you sure you want to go?”
“Am I sure? Am I sure?” Youngjae cries out, tears falling out of his eyes easily, “Yes, I’m fucking sure! My- my boyfriend….”
The car ride was excruciating.
It was unbearably silent and all he could think of was the fight he had earlier with Jinyoung. They got to the hospital too soon, Youngjae didn’t know what he was going to do.  
Youngjae’s mother asks the front desk lady where Jinyoung was and she told them the general direction of the room but before they got in there a doctor stopped them.
“Are you his parent or guardian?” The doctor asks with a clipboard in his hand.
“No, but his parents are overseas and won’t be back for another couple of months.” Youngjae’s mother explains through tears.
Youngjae walks away and walks toward the glass window in front of Jinyoung’s room. He looked through the thin blinds and saw a body.
“Oh, God…” Youngjae gasps, covering his mouth to try and quiet his sobs. His mother walks over to Youngjae and grasps his shoulder.
“The doctor said we could go in, but honey…” She sobs, breaking down, “He said Jinyoung doesn’t have much time. You need to say your goodbyes, okay?”
Youngjae nods his head, kind of like a zombie, “Okay…”
Youngjae turns the knob to his door and pushes it open slightly before closing it shut again, “Mom, I-I can’t do this.” Youngjae sobs out, the situation was too much for him to handle.
“I will go in first then.” His mom breathes out before pushing the door open, stepping into the cold room. Youngjae follows closely behind, closing the door.
Jinyoung didn’t look the same.
Both of his eyes were bruised and bloodied. His left leg was in a cast. There were tubes in his mouth to help his breathing stay steady and some parts of his head were shaved so they could access the brain easier.
Youngjae walks over to the side of the bed, grabbing it for moral support, “Jinyoung….” He sobs, his bottom lip quivering uncontrollably.
“I’m gonna give you two some alone time, okay?” Youngjae’s mom doesn’t wait for a response before walking out of the room, leaving the floor open for Youngjae.
“I’m so sorry, Jinyoung,” Tears continuously fall out of Youngjae’s eyes, “This happened because of me.” Youngjae rests his head on Jinyoung’s chest gently.
“They told me I need to say goodbye to you, Jinyoung. Is that true or are you going to stay with me? I love you so fucking much, you are my life. I feel like absolute shit right now knowing the last vision of me you have is of me walking away from you,” Youngjae takes a deep breath trying to regain composure, “You know I love you, right? God, I hope you can hear me. You were the best thing to happen to me, Jinyoung. If you do…If you do pass away tonight, I just want you to know that meeting you was the greatest thing to ever happen to me.”
Youngjae looks up at Jinyoung’s face and sees wet tears around his eyes, “Are you crying? Hyung, don’t cry… You will be in a better place if you pass on. Don’t be scared. If you are hurting, it’s okay to let go, I won’t be mad. Just know, that I will always love you.”
It seemed to happen too fast.
All of a sudden, nurses come in the room, pulling Youngjae off of Jinyoung. Youngjae’s mother runs into the room to see what was happening.
The nurses, poke and prod at Youngjae’s boyfriend.
“We need a defibrillator!!” One of them screams out and in a split-second, she has them in her hands.
“Jinyoung? What’s happening?” Youngjae panics, grabbing the foot of the bed trying to get one last glimpse of Jinyoung.
“We are going to need you to exit the room, sir.” The nurse politely asks to which Youngjae pushes her back further.
“1,2,3, CLEAR!” She shouts out and Jinyoung’s body shoots up from the bolt of electricity.
“What’s happening to him?” Youngjae cries out, pointing at Jinyoung, “Somebody save him! Please, he’s so young! He is only 18, for god's sake, someone fucking help him!!” Youngjae screams out, suddenly regretting his choice to tell Jinyoung to let go.
The room quiets down after that, the commotion suddenly stops. The nurses all dejectedly walk out of the room, leaving Jinyoung on the bed.
All that was left was the sound of a flatline.
The doctor walks over to Youngjae and his mom with a solemn look, “Park Jinyoung pronounced dead at 8:34 P.M. on Wednesday, December 28th.”
Youngjae didn’t attend his funeral.
He physically couldn’t.
After Jinyoung died, Youngjae rarely got out of bed all he would do is sleep.
He went back to school exactly one month after the accident. He saw the drunk driving posters plastered all over the school and he snapped.
“Who put these up?” He asks a group of girls that were walking by.
“The student council.” The reply with confusion on their face before walking away giggling.
Youngjae stands looking at the posters, “He wasn’t drunk. Park Jinyoung wasn’t drunk when he crashed!” Youngjae yells, catching the attention of everybody around him.
“Youngjae, buddy…I think you need to calm down.” Mark tries to comfort him but Youngjae pulls his arm away from the elder.
“Park Jinyoung was not drunk when he crashed! He was always sober, he never drank! Jinyoung was scared of many things and drinking was one of them! Jinyoung was not fucking drunk when he crashed so I am going to need you to take down these posters!” He screams at no one in particular before sighing loudly and walking out of school.
When Youngjae was a sophomore, the best and the worst things happened to him.
He met Jinyoung but he was ripped away from Jinyoung at the same time.
Jinyoung made him feel loved. Jinyoung made him laugh. Jinyoung gave him attention when no one else would.
That was something Youngjae would never forget.
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houses-of-healing · 7 years
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I'm upset. I've run for two positions of leadership in robotics related student organizations and I lost one, and got a really low level position the second. I consider myself a leader and I was confident in my abilities but I'm starting to wonder if they're right and I'm missing something or I've been doing something wrong. I don't know what to do and I'm realizing now that I'm expecting too much of myself and others by trying to do all this when I'm not put together. I don't deserve these
(forgot to number, part 2 of “I’m upset.”) Positions of power and I’m really confused. I feel a wreck and I’m exhausted of fighting for what’s right and trying to fix everything. I’m just so tired, and what’s worse is that I’m stuck in this emotionally abusive family for two more years and I can’t get out. And on the robotics thing, there were awards and things I wanted to do, to accomplish, and now I don’t think I can. Since im not in power I can’t really do anything until next year; and at(part three of “I’m upset”) Point I’ll only have one year, one season to pull everything together. I wanted to accomplish something but right now I feel small and powerless. I know once I get out of this damn abusive house I’ll probably collapse with burnout from not only that but school, and I’m just so fucking sick of feeling so helpless. I usually make do by not giving a fuck, but that’s not working at the moment. I’m already trying to raise money for the move after I graduate, and I’m only(pt 4 of “im upset”) I’m only 16. I feel like a hypocrite for even bringing it up bc I usually get angry and defensive when people bring up my age because of my history with that being used as reasoning to dismiss my ideas and arguments and validate their abuse. Im starting to realize too many things about my behavior and I hate that my parents and my terrible environment have shaped it all but I’m also simultaneously okay with it bc I try to convince myself i like who I am now and so it’s okay(Pt 5 of Im upset) because it’s ‘made me who I am today’, but its just frustrating as fck. I hate feeling like I’m merely existing in a cage, I hate feeling so damn helpless and afraid. My mom recently confiscated my tarot cards (shes previously taken books I bought with my own $ or received of my own volition, and uses her ‘religion’ to abuse me). Im too tired to practice my beliefs and I don’t have that invaluable tool so its become rlly hard for me to get valuable advice. Thnks 4 listening -C
ASK FROM C TO ANYONE
To my dearest friend C,I hope you are doing okay now. I know it’s a very tough situation to be in right now, but remember you are extremely brave and resilient! You are here and that is what’s the most important. I’m so proud of you.You will hear this a lot and I know you've heard this many many times before, but you are very, very young. You have only a couple of years left, but once you become legally independent (that's very important to think about, when you decide to move out of a situation like yours) you will have many more opportunities and many chances to find good support and love. Right now, you are doing what you CAN do. I would suggest trying to find other ways to cope, like using tarot card websites, or if you have an iPhone, perhaps Vivi's Tarot Card app! (It gives you a daily tarot card thats very positive. I have used it so, so many times and it can, at the very least, affirm your decisions.) Its disrespectful to confiscate any possession of your child, in my opinion, but despair not. When my beloved friends, Sam, Pippin and Merry and I went on our journey, we lost many things valuable to us. It was frightening, to be out without anything familiar to us. We took comfort in remembering the small happinesses we had or taking in what was good in the moment, like the spring breeze, or how warm the fire feels on our poor feet after being frozen to our bone. You, too, can find comfort in the small things. If you have a library near by or a computer, you can find ways to download books of your choosing to read. Your parents can't take them away and you will have the memories. (I suggest using goodreads.com if you want to remember the books you've read or quotes you want to remember!) And you can and will find resources to help you move out and manage being an adult at a young age. howtogrowthefuckup is one good tumblr resource. There are many, many more. There are helplines and text crises lines you can use when you are feeling upset or in despair. You can always come to us, as well. Dear C, I can not show you the deepest amount of pride and admiration I have for you. You are so young, but you stay pure and even on the journey of life, which has so many brittle nettles that sting you, orcs that come find you, you are here. You are not alone. You can reach out to support groups online if need be or even find self-help worksheets to help you cope. Please keep in touch with us at the houses of healing; we do care for you and want to make sure you are safe. For now, keep your chin up, remember you are alive and you can make it through this. When I'm in a slightly safer space on my journey, I will update you with more references and such to help. But for now, feel your heart, take deep breathes in and out, and focus on what you need to get done now, even if it seems trivial. (It is not. Every good deed you do will continue to gather and give you goodness in the future as well.) I suggest also, when you're feeling the most down, think about your future and what you want. You deserve love and support and encouragement, unconditionally. Its something you will have. Thinking or writing down things you want in your future, whether its small, like being able to buy a giant tub of animal crackers or bigger, like ...having a pet to love and be loved by, can help you stay focused.Do not be afraid. You are doing so, so well. Stay in touch, C. All my love and wishes,Frodo Baggins______(lol i cant make a cut on mobile)_____C, I've been in your place before. It sucks. It feels like you're trapped forever. I've had friends who went to hell and came back (literally a few have been homeless) And we are alive. We are okay. We're always trying to find ourselves, but it gets better and easier. It takes time though. You're young. I promise, if you take the chances the universe gives you, it'll be okay. I'm an elusive mod on HOH, but I can always do a tarot reading for you on my personal blog if you feel like you need that. I promise!!!! It gets easier to handle life, it gets better and things will be okay. Sh*t sucks now, but it will never stay like that. I promise you that. -Admin Clare
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deeeknows · 7 years
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HOHOHHOOOHOHO you returned hello friends! Same rules as always i provided the Important partS for the skimmers but im also not apologizing for the length anymore. Let me hear you thoughts ON THE BLOG AND NOT IM MY MESSAGE INBOX XD.
June 21
the longest day in the year came and it sure felt like it. most of my day i was frustrated so that tells me a thing or two about myself. but my day started with the talk about picking weeds but that didnt happen instead we did pictures for the children all day. then i came back home and the lesson came. i listened to J. Coles verse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6atNwE-uOfE&t=7m14s on the documentary and had a great discussion about this with the baby fathers chat…. no we is not baby fathers. And no we are not plotting on you young women in the chat. they helped me work through alot of what he was saying in that we listen to the music differently just being christians. Important part people can be lead astray if they aren’t developed christians and founded in the truth. their idea of what christianity is looks like a temporary thing and not needed in the long term but instead helped the people in the days of old but now we might need something new to help the people who are having a struggle understanding the intentions of what the bible is trying to communicate. in addition its frustrating because i knew this was coming from the talks of the 2 Timothy 3. This has been a new way for me to think about music in general since its such an integral part of my life. The thats going to be my next personal study. in addition i was completely frustrated at VBS not because it was a bad day or the kids did a bad job but it started with the parents. And how they could teach their children to hate and be complete unashamed and not give a second thought the view of certain people was not only disgusting but almost pushed me over the edge. Important part i want to stay this fired up at injustice but need to find a way to convert my passion to love and not anger. I also made a resume and cover letter shout out Kalane.
June 22
while every day this week i felt like i knew when God was going to pull out the sunday school crafts and make me learn something this thursday was not the same. I was so ready to talk to take notes when we rode in brother Jeff’s car today because those cross the city rides i really have been known to catch a gem riding with my hand out the window. but it wasnt until Kenny made his way into our car at 3 an hour before we got “off”. Kenny gets in the car heated about whats going on in his community and how things arent going right. Kenny works closely with Brother Jeff in 10:12 sports with the kids but stays in the projects right across the street from a “newly opened” rec center. the frustration came from the communities exclusion from what they thought was a glimmer of light for them. the center technically opened monday but only is available to the children below the age of 5 who are enrolled in the summer camp there. Important part what was supposed to give the community an outlet for jobs, support for kids, and escape from a depressing reality at home is being forfeited because many of the kids are “two old” and too far down the path at this point so they are throwing out the whole bunch. to think the problem area in these communities were the ages 13-21 and to hear that the city is going to give them a way out. so you pull out you political boots and start getting about 6500 community petition signatures and they actually build the thing. just to find out the community wont be getting access to it in the heat of the summer and talking to the mayor of the city just to hear them tell you they “will see”, or that “they will look into it, send me an email” is extremely disheartening. especially for kenny who was out there preaching hope to these youth and their parents just to be told later. the exploitation and lack of urgency pains me and the city. the longer these kids are stuck in these pissy stairwells the faster their will for “a future” deteriorates. but after we go back to take him home and the kids all run out to greet him i can see the power 1 man has who refuses to let his light be put out even the darkness is all so much easier to live in.
then i went to dinner with my family group and we talked about understanding poverty and what different types looked like. keep your eyes peeled for the rules of operation because what doesnt seem like anything to you can actually cost you more than a black eye. Important part dont forget the only way to address these generational curses of poverty and situational poverty alike is through relationships. people need to know that you care. they dont need solutions. the reason they are telling you is not for you meet their need. do them the justice of addressing their spirit not just their need. my favorite quote from dinner was that the only way you will not be in poverty any of these resource areas is when you have a community like the church in acts freely giving and supporting one another.
June 23
And then it was Friday. I was so anxious for today before it even started I was ready to get it jumping. Every morning we have prayer I haven’t been talking that much about but don’t get me wrong it’s not a waste of my time at all. I still have my reservations about the group aspect but Important part there hasn’t been a bad morning and or day yet because I believe in the power of setting time aside to do God before getting into anything else that I might consider important. But I was geeked to get up and go to Red Emma’s after brother Jeff, Leslie, and I rode past it yesterday. but when i get in there my brain starts racing. not only is it a place of love but its a place right off north Ave and right in the middle of the art district. this was an area many people dedicated to a no judgement zone and a place where all are welcome. but what i wanted to study is what a christian environment would look like under this philosophy. they served the community and provided a space where the thirsty are given free drink and the hungry are fed. a space where all are welcome and given the liberty to be who they want to be. Important part but what i cant figure out is if that would be a good space for a church. to let people walk all over it and do whatever inside its walls. i want to say yes but i also hold such a high standard to how a church should be maintained. with their single open door bathroom policy and allowing people to “loiter” as they wait for the bus gave me a hope and a vision maybe that id have a service like that one day. where id host community outreach meetings. sell books in our library. sell food and drink and if we’re lucky and it’s on a corner as busy as red emmas ill call it sabbath or something corny. where id anoint the chairs every morning and id hire the homeless to assist me in being my prayer warriors of the city. but who knows maybe this is all just a fantasy to me. June 24 my day started like 3 times before i got fed up and time stopped moving backwards so i went on my first run. I didnt get dropped off because I ran by myself so no one could leave me in the dust and my tears. After we got back around to the city we started our bible study which slightly aggravated the kid because we went backwards to study Nehemiah again. but this time we looked at it from a different lens. Important part what i couldnt get over was how passionate he was and prideful about a people group he knew he belonged to but had never been to visit, see, or experience. but he was not only upset at their state of living up also prayed and fasted when he heard the news of the shameful city. but it didnt stop there. this man dropped everything he was doing because he saw a life better for them then the one they were living. keeping this simple we wanted to come into baltimore the way he did, not looking to turn the city from jerusalem to nehemiahville. but to empower those living and working there. the jews, nobles, priest, and everyone in between. it seemed like he also wanted something from them before he could give them what he wanted to give them. he wanted their help as well as their knowledge. literally this man has never built a wall before and someone is going to have to help him out. Important part thats how i want to be always seeking to learn the culture of the place im visiting and getting into. i never wanna feel like i have it right and others need to be like me. when infact thats not the case on this side at all. things were good after that. then I went to latino fest. and it was people watching central. la musica y la cultura fue incredible. i really felt bad because all i wanted to do was walk back and forth between the stages and listen to the live bands play and watch the folks dance but it seemed i was more interested than my counter parts. its okay tho they i halfway like doing life alone better. i videotaped some strangers for the road and spent hours trying to differentiate between which dances were salsa, bachata, and Merengue but i might need a little more help with that later. On the bus ride home my friends all decided they wanted to ditch Darius and make him walk home alone while they went to get frozen cups. One day they will like me. June 25
im getting used to starting my sunday with the farmers market. i dont know what ima do once i get home. mannnnn plus its only been my second sunday here. i walked less and knew exactly how i wanted to spend my morning, with a chocolate chip cookie. I pulled out my book as i sat right down and started doing what i do best, reading both folks and pages. i read through The Reason for God i wanted to give the people what i have and things are starting to look forward. then i went to service and we spoke about the person who was missing. in our spaces and even from the church. how what we look like and imagine heaven to be isnt what God has planned. there are going to be folks who we would have never placed there and how we can do that even in our church spaces. just to make things more bareable to the people we want to worship our God with . Important part we can say and do things to shape Gods people into our will and that is dangerous. People are made in Gods image and do not need correcting. to end my day i spent big time talking to Nao and in the park. Sabbath was a time for rest but while i was resting the city was hurting as well. i witnessed a man be almost stabbed in the street so there is still work left to be done in baltimore. im just glad God is here using me to provide a safe space for those around me.
June 26
I feel like my day took forever to get started but once it did I was cool. Editing photos for hours on end sucked the first 8 hours down the drain then it was time for the neighborhood association meeting. 6 o clock came whether I was ready or not. I actually never thought I’d end up at once of these community neighborhood watch association meetings especially after seeing them on tv and the boondocks and laughing along about how comical the whole situation is. But that was far from the case or intention of this meeting. The councilmen came and heard the immediate needs of the people and pretty much told everyone be patient and send me an email and I’ll get back to you. Between this man and the police officer they grilled I honestly Marvel at how they spun the same response with such patience with these people bringing systemic issues to their neighborhood officer from squatters, to prostitution, to education reform this man was supposed to answer them all. But this is really why I could never find myself at one of these meetings. After pouring out their hearts to the councilmen and him orchestrating who to contact to get the needs met he leaves and the meeting should be over here. Instead they continue to address their concerns with the officer asking his opinion on how to communicate with the kids and how to avoid getting robbed for the next hour and change. This isn’t a bad thing to get advice but the officer in my opinion made it very clear that he didn’t have answers that they were looking for, And that by playing his part and communicating with the association that the job would get done. But they weren’t taking this answer. They needed more. His “solution” was not going to help them stop the terrorizing happening on their streets and right in front of their homes. The desperation in the voices was heart breaking because as a spectator of this meeting and a spectator of this community I know that exactly the kind of searching for protection they were doing can only be provided by our Lord and Savior. Important part By trying to fill the God sized void in Baltimore with the agents of change that knew they were inadequate to grant change burned me on the inside. I was stuck between standing up and screaming yah gotta stop going around in circles what you’re doing is wrong is clearly fundamentally wrong. The answer is Jesus. But that couldn’t be received from me and I can’t tell if it’s because I wanted to use the cop out of “I want to just pray for the community and that’ll be doing enough” or if I was too selfish to put myself out there as an unashamed disciple of the gospel. I don’t know and it is always easy to see from your perspective but it’s harder to watch.
June 27
And it started my day with more photos and edits but then we made a trip to MND. Where we worked as a volunteer to help the guests with their resumes and things. After our trip back I saw the city and went through west Baltimore. Accidentally. My younger brother Lestle wanted to go for a trip and so we missed our stop and went for a nice little trip. The navy line took us all the way to Mondawmin mall. Which if you don’t know was one of the inciting points of the Baltimore riots in 2015. Reliving for a short time before heading home helped to really put what the community was feeling into perspective. Between the school Douglas, the mall, and the poor communities around it hurts to see what’s “the machine” distrust can do to a group of people. As relationships aren’t getting much better in these neighborhoods there is hope for others to possibly move in and change the climates of these areas. But who would want to move right next to a mall and bus depot and one of the underperforming high schools in Baltimore. Doesn’t sound too appealing at first glance. Or ever. Important part But what I see is a people in need for God and who are crying out for help. How much longer will we allow our pride and self righteousness prohibit us from being Gods instruments of change. What I noticed from the ride actually the neighborhoods leading up to mindoman mall are growing communities and not just hoods. There is hope. Some have caught to Gods vision while others are still working to it . now we just need some labors to get it off the ground
Yeah so i made it 2 weeks and im sad because it almost over and i feel like i havent learned enough. And im getting one of those feeling when God is about to tell me something i dont wanna hear so maybe we just pause this whole BUP thing until i have time to learn everything and then do what Jesus will have me do with the rest of my life. XD. you knew this blog needed at least one. Important part My last impressions would be this learning is not an arrived place and anyone can learn from a teacher, but what can you learn from a boarded up home? My challenge would be to tell you mother twice a day with at least 3 hours in between that you love her! And im thankful for all the responses to my last question you guys are smarter than me. This question would i need an answer ASAP. the city smells in some places. What can i do to make these city streets more enjoyable for everyone walking them?
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