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#lewis hamilton blurbs
macybeckham7 · 16 days
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Lewis is very protective of you, who is pregnant, and Yuki notices it and whenever Lew is not around he is always checking up on. Pulling out a chair for you and asking if you want anything to eat or need water, just being very sweet and kind to the Mrs. Hamilton and the baby who’s on the way.
Whenever Yuki finds himself in the same room as you after seeing how Lewis was looking after you and the bump, he wants to make sure that you were ok. You let out a small sigh as you sit down, you smile at the young driver who makes his way over to you. ‘Here I have a cushion’ he says and puts it behind your back. He always asking if you were alright, he rushing around to make sure that there was some bottled water and some sweets and snacks that you wanted. Yuki holding your hand as he walks slowly with you and making sure people gave you enough room. Lewis smiling and thanking Yuki on the drivers parade for looking after you. The two of you talking about how you were doing, and how the pregnancy was going, you always pulling his hand to your bump to let him feel them kicking about.
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daydreamingleclerc · 2 years
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do you think about me at night? - lewis hamilton
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based loosely (or quite a lot on second thought) on conversations with friends. 
summary: you’ve loved lewis ever since the moment you laid eyes on him, despite the age gap and the fact that he’s engaged, and as much as you both know what you’re about to do is completely and utterly wrong, you do it anyway and all your cards are laid bare in the process.
warnings: this includes cheating from both lewis and his fiancee, and Y/N, unfortunately looks like a bit of a homewrecker. Y/N IS ALSO SIGNIFICANTLY YOUNGER THAN LEWIS (!!!!), lewis is the age he is now (37), Y/N is about 23. smut, weed smoking, alcohol consumption, bisexual!reader, this is literally one of the longest pieces ive ever written, theres a lot of backstory and smut towards the end. oral (f rec), fingering, protected sex, pet names (think lewis says good girl like once), praise kink, very brief mention of choking (blink and you miss it kinda mention), i think that’s it. in true emi fashion, this isn’t very good and it’s not been proofread - but let me know what you think! 
pairing: lewis hamilton x fem reader
requested: no
notes: requests are open, see who i write for here and my masterlist here. this is my first lewis smut so it’s not 100% in the swing of it all yet, but i hope you enjoy! 
“ready?” 
georgie peered in, a raised eyebrow as they wandered through your bedroom. their eyes scanned your outfit and for a minute, you thought they hated it until their lips curled up into a smile. they approved, which was something you were relieved about. 
“you look nice,” they smiled, fingers dancing along the bottom of the dress and feeling the thin silk, “it’s pretty.” 
“nice?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, “i at least want to look good, that’s better than nice.” 
georgie frowned, and kicked your shin with the tip of their foot. you weren’t even going to go to this goddamned party, in fact, you were completely and utterly against it. you saw how kiara treated lewis, and it made you angry, like all the heat in your body was causing you to levitate off the ground somewhere. 
“you do look good,” georgie laughed softly, “but it’s got nothing to do with lewis, no?” 
they raised their eyebrows and you shrugged. “does it matter if it is?” you replied, picking at the skin around your fingers. georgie was right, it was everything to do with lewis, but you were also right, it didn’t matter because he was engaged. 
“i think you should just go for it,” they shrugged, “we all know kiara isn’t happy, either.” 
you rolled your eyes, applying the last of your lipgloss in the mirror and almost toppling over the pile of clothes in the first place, “yeah, we only know she’s not happy in that relationship because she told you when her tongue was halfway down your throat.” 
“well, technically she told me after that,” georgie shrugged, tank top blowing in the wind coming from your open window, “kinda difficult to tell someone how you feel about your imploding engagement when you’ve got their tongue down your throat,” they smirked, “you should know that, Y/N, especially after all the times we used to make out.”
“fuck off,” you groaned, dropping the gloss in your bag and turning to face them with rosy cheeks, “are we going or not?” 
georgie got up off of your bed, sliding their phone down into the pocket of their denim shorts. they looked effortlessly good, as per usual, with denim shorts and a blue tank top, both of which eccentuated the long limbs of their legs and arms in a way that would never look right on you. you wore your matching shoes, and it always made you giggle when you did that. 
the taxi ride to lewis and kiara’s was quiet, gentle small talk between the two of you while georgie told you about the people kiara had invited. you were hardly listening to them, gazing out of the taxi window almost regretting your decision to come tonight. 
kiara spotted you both almost instantly, and on second thought, you questioned the baby blue silk dress you’d slipped into. it was noticable, and that wasn’t what you wanted to be tonight. you handed kiara the small bottle bag in your hand, “happy birthday,” you felt stupidly inferior as you handed it to her with your chipped green nail polish, noticing her dark red gel polish that hadn’t chipped a single bit. “it’s not much but its something from us both.” 
you knew you weren’t inferior. if lewis was yours you would never even dream of being so stupid. 
“it is?” georgie asked, raising their eyebrows. you laughed gently.
“mhm, you owe me twelve pound seventy five.”
“of course i do,” they nodded, “drink?” 
georgie went off, mingling with kiara’s friends and meeting new people you’d only feared they’d introduce you to. lewis’ friends were in a completely seperate part of the house entirely, and when you scanned for him amongst the crowd, he was nowhere to be seen. 
an hour or so passed, and you’d been dragged into a conversation between georgie and a few of kiara’s friends surrounding freud. it was boring you, as much as you hated to admit it. you didn’t come to the party to discuss the  psychoanalysis of boys and their mothers, you came for one reason and that reason was nowhere to be seen. 
you tapped georgie’s shoulder and signalled to the bathroom, but they furrowed their eyebrows, “you okay?” 
“yeah, am i not allowed to go to the bathroom?” 
georgie nodded, their smile soft as you wandered off through the house. kiara’s eyebrows knotted when you took a right turn to the stairs after clocking the line for the main toilet in the hallway, but you pretended that you didn’t notice. 
you’d been to the house enough times to know that the door furthest from the staircase on the left was not the bathroom, but something drew you to it anyway. the door swung open, and inside you found lewis sitting by the window on an armchair, a puff of smoke surrounding his head. 
the smell of weed wasn’t as strong as you anticipated, mixing with the smell of the BBQ from downstairs, and the smell of alcohol and fresh bedsheets. it was a surprisingly nice concoction. 
“Y/N,” lewis smiled softly, “i didn’t expect you here so early.” 
“well, georgie wanted to put old men in their place about psychoanalysis, so,” you straightened out your dress, “here i am.” 
“of course they did,” lewis chuckled, “but, are you saying i’m old?” he stood up, and immediately your cheeks flushed a light shade of crimson and your mouth went dry as if you’d forgotten to speak, “i’m kidding.” 
you let out a hot puff of air and lewis walked closer, “i was trying to find the toilet but i, uh-” 
“-we both know you know this isn’t the bathroom, Y/N,” he said. he was inches away from you now, standing so close you could smell his expensive aftershave, and it almost made you melt, “you’re blushing.” 
“you’re drunk,” you noted, and took the cigarette from his fingers to take a drag, “and high.” 
“you’re blushing,” he repeated, taking the cigarette from your fingers, taking a drag and stamping it out, “over me?” 
“it’s hot out in case you hadn’t noticed,” you hummed, blowing your puff of smoke out in short bursts. lewis was impressed. he watched as you blew out the rest of the smoke, and then he followed, bringing his beer bottle up to his lips. you watched as he drank it, eyes never leaving his when he pulled it from his lips and brought it to your shoulder to cool you down. 
you breathed out, a soft gasp, and it took everything inside of him to not combust there and then. 
“that feels nice,” you noted, “it’d feel better here.”
you dragged lewis’ bottle to your chest, the swells of your boobs spilling out from the top of it anyway, but they jolted when the cool droplets from the side of his bottle trickled between them. “yeah, i was right.” 
lewis lowered the bottle, only slightly, and the gasp elicited from your lips again. he took a long, deep breath, composing himself, but before he managed to successfully forget about wanting to kiss you, you leaned in and did it yourself. 
one hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him into you closer while he stood there in amazement. your lips slotted between his perfectly, and when he kissed back after what felt like hours, they moulded even better. the bottle he held at your chest had been removed, you placed it on the bedside table behind you. 
lewis’ hands moved to your cheeks, cupping them gently and engulfing you in him as you kissed, your hands coming to rest on his torso. you felt so content in his arms, his lips on yours. you’d fantasized about this moment for weeks, and it had finally happened. neither you nor lewis wanted to pull away, so thoroughly engrossed in the kisses the other had to offer you didn’t even want to breathe. 
he pulled away first, practically heaving for breath. he never knew a kiss could feel so good, and he realised rather quickly he never wanted to kiss anybody else ever again - not even his fiancee. you wiped your lips with the back of your hand, a vague, lingering taste of his budweiser coated your lips, while the citrus taste of your lipbalm coated his. 
without another word, your lips locked again. his tongue slid easily past your tongue, and you allowed him free access within your mouth. this kiss was even better than the last, but you weren’t sure if that was even possible. 
the door hadn’t been shut properly, and roscoe had managed to bump it open with his nose. he barked softly at lewis’ feet, and you soon pulled away from one another. the door was open barely an inch, but you sensed that kiara wasn’t far. lewis bent down to tend to roscoe, and you admired him while he did so. roscoe barked softly again, and you bent down to greet the bulldog with a smile on your face. 
“who’s a good boy?” you cooed, and watched as roscoe cocked his head to the side, “rossy’s a good boy!” 
as if on cue, kiara walked through the door. you straightened yourself up, awkwardly standing between the pair of them like a dagger through their marriage, and her gaze never left you. 
“is everything okay up here?” 
“mhm,” lewis said dryly, “Y/N was just playing with roscoe.” 
“thought you went to the bathroom,” she replied, aiming her response at you. your throat was dry, but you swallowed thickly. 
“i was - i, uh, i did - but then i saw roscoe coming into the bedroom and then i saw lewis so i-” 
“-the door wasn’t open wide enough for you to see lewis, Y/N.”
“jesus, ki,” lewis pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, “roscoe came in, and then Y/N followed and pushed the door closed a couple of inches,” he lied surprisingly well, and you nodded with a soft smile, avoiding kiara’s eyes. “anything else?” 
“you’ve got something on your lip,” she turned to lewis, even drier than before, and wiped her thumb underneath her own lip, eyes on you, “right there.” 
*
several weeks passed, and you’d hardly seen or spoken to lewis in that time. the one time you did see him, he looked effortlessly gorgeous, standing beside kiara at the launch of her new his and hers perfume range. she made sure to keep her eye on you both all night, never allowing him a moment alone with you. 
she had her head screwed on, she wasn’t stupid. georgie, much to your relief though, was none the wiser about the kiss, and you intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. 
they were deep in conversation with one of kiara’s friends, one who they hadn’t met yet and they shared multiple views on certain, uninteresting subjects and it kept them entertained. you, on the other hand, not so much. your phone beeped in your jacket pocket, and when you pulled it out, lewis’ name was spread across your screen. 
unable to grab you alone, he said, but kiara’s going away to france for paris fashion week on sunday. three dots popped up on the screen when you’d read the messages, and almost instantly, another message popped up, you can come over when she’s gone if you like, would be nice to see you. 
a small smile graced your lips, and for the first time in weeks you felt a pulse in your veins once more at the prospect of being alone with lewis. sounds good to me, you shot back, shall we say monday at 12:30? 
cool. he replied. you were just about to put down your phone when it buzzed again, don’t worry about making dinner, i’ll cook for you. you smiled again. and make sure to bring a change of clothes. 
“i bought wine,” you smiled when lewis opened his front door to greet you. roscoe barked at your feet and circled your ankles when you entered the hallway, “i wasn’t sure whether you drank red, white or rose so i just bought all three.” 
“you didn’t have to do that,” he replied, walking back off into the kitchen and watching you in the doorframe as you slipped off your shoes, “i like that dress.” 
you blushed softly at his compliment, and by default swayed your hips to show off the floral detail. you almost told him that you bought it especially for this occasion, but you didn’t want to sound too eager - he was an almost married man, after all. 
you watched as he poured you a glass of white wine from the half open bottle on the countertop, filling it just over three quarters of the way full and adding a drop of lemonade for sweetness. he handed it to you in silence. 
“it’s not as fun when kiara’s not here,” you giggled sheepishly, and watched lewis from the rim of your wine glass as he chuckled along opposite you. 
“i suppose you’re right,” he took a swig of his wine and then took several steps towards you, “but it’s nice, just us.” 
you nodded, desperately wanting to tell him how perfect it felt. how much you knew he was the person you were destined to be with, how the kiss had completely and utterly changed the direction of your life. but you didn’t. 
“did you know that kiara kissed georgie?” 
the question wasn’t meant to leave your lips, but it did anyway. you didn’t care. you wanted to see the look on his face, the anger, the frustration, the confusion. only you didn’t get any of that. he still remained calm, his facial expression had barely changed one iota. 
“no, but it doesn’t surprise me.” 
you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and watched as lewis sipped his drink again. “there’s never been two people in this relationship, Y/N,” he sighed, “there’s always been affairs, i’ve just never had them.” 
“oh.” 
you weren’t sure whether lewis’ revelation made you so furious you could scream, or so furious you could fuck. he took another swig of his wine, and you stood there in silence once more. you began to walk towards him, placing your wine on the counter and getting closer to him until you were centemeters apart. you brought your lips to his, one hand bracing around the back of his neck like last time, while his hands moved to your hips. 
your lips danced in tandem with one another and you eagerly bit down on his bottom lip to tell him you were ready for this to happen. he moved his hands down to grab at your bum and lifted you onto the countertop, where he slotted between your legs perfectly. your hands moved from behind his neck to underneath his shirt, where you stroked your fingers up his defined torso until it rode too high and he pulled it from his body. one of his hands came to rest at your throat, giving it an experimental squeeze, while the other hand travelled up your leg. 
you opened them wider, and when they were open enough to his satisfaction, he pushed the lace material of your underwear to the side and circled your clit with the pad of his thumb. you gasped, clawing softly at the skin of his stomach as he continued to circle his thumb. 
his lips moved to your neck, sucking on the skin so lightly, and when he felt like you were ready he inserted a finger into you, and relished in the moan when you cried out at the feeling. you bit down on your lip, one hand running up the side of his neck and bringing his lips back to yours. 
you moaned into his mouth and he smrked against your lips, appreciating the reactions you were giving him. he inserted another finger and your back arched, pressing your chest up to his. 
“ssh, ssh, Y/N,” he spoke softly, “i know.” 
“feels so good, lewis,” you whispered back breathlessly, “please don’t stop.” 
he hummed, sucking at the underside of your chin and nibbling at it with his front teeth. your hand travelled down to his sweats, where you squeezed teasingly at his dick, protruding out of the grey material. he let out a breath, one he’d clearly been holding in for a while, the feeling of your delicate hands on his dick was something he’d only ever imagined; and now it was happening he felt like he would explode. 
lewis’ fingers began to pick up a bit more pace inside of you, curling in soft ‘come hither’ motions and coaxing you towards your orgasm. he leaned down, pushing the dress up higher and sinking to his knees to watch his fingers dissapear inside of you. 
“so wet,” he noted, pulling his fingers out momentarily to lick around the pads before inserting them back inside of you, “so wet, all for me.” 
“mhm,” you replied, sitting back on your elbows so he could get a better view, “all for you - fuck!” 
lewis’ lips wrapped around your clit while you spoke, and his tongue flicked the underside while he hummed ever so softly against it. the friction made you cry out again, and one hand flew to his hair while you gripped at the counter so hard with your other hand that the skin went ten shades lighter from squeezing. 
“‘m gonna - fuck, lewis, ‘m gonna cum.” you stated, tugging at his dreads as he continued to eat you out and curl his fingers. he nodded, humming slightly harsher and flicking your clit faster. it didn’t take long before you came, legs shaking around his head as he toppled you over the edge. 
he pulled off of you with a pop and brought his lips to yours, and you moaned when you tasted yourself on his tongue. you got to your knees, silently telling him you’d return the favour, but he stopped you. “i need to feel you,” he said, “you’ll be staying all night, there’ll be plenty of time for that later.” 
you frowned, but ultimately agreed. he pulled you up, and his fingers instantly went to the buttons down the front of your dress, carefully undoing them one by one. he could tell it was new by the smell, and he didn’t want to ruin it because he knew it would’ve upset you. 
the dress dropped to the floor and pooled at your feet, and lewis’ eyes almost bulged out of his head when he saw you standing in front of him in just lacy underwear. he’d only ever dreamed of this, of seeing you in front of him in lingerie, waiting patently for him to admire you before he took it off. 
your cheeks flushed red, and instinctually, you went to cover yourself over with your arms but lewis had other ideas. his fingers hooked under your bra straps, and they fell to your elbows. “you’re gorgeous, Y/N,” he spoke, almost breathlessly as he reached his arms around your body to unhook the back of the bra. he watched it fall, and your nipples pebbled in the cool air, “so fuckin’ gorgeous.” 
you blushed once more, and your hands hooked into the waistband of his sweats so they wouldn’t cover up your body. the sweats fell off of his legs with ease and pooled at his ankles, and your soul almost left your body when he didn’t have any underwear on. 
he smirked at your reaction, and hooked his fingers into your underwear. he pushed them down your legs, and travelled down with them, the pads of his fingers tickling the backs of your legs as he guided the underwear down. you stepped out of them and lewis came back to face you, his lips pecking yours and then your nose. 
“how do you want me, darling?” 
“i, uh,” you furrowed your eyebrows, unsure of the answer, “i don’t know.” 
lewis’ expression mimicked yours, scrunched together eyebrows and a soft look on his face. you didn’t mean to pull that expression, and you knew you should’ve mentioned something before he pulled all your clothes off. “i’ve never done this,” you breathed, “i mean, i have done this - i have had sex - but i’ve just not, uh, i’ve never-” 
“-hey hey, slow down,” lewis grabbed your wrists, “if you don’t want to do this, we really don’t have to.” 
“no, no, lewis, i want to,” you shook your head, “i’ve just never had sex with a man before,” a sigh left your body and the hot air from your mouth blew all over lewis’ face and left him with shivers down his spine, “i’ve only ever dated one person, and that was georgie’s sister tessie,” there was a small silence, “and then tessie cheated on me with her best friend michael so i slept with georgie to get back at her.” 
lewis chuckled and tucked some loose hair behind your ear, “i can work with that,” he kissed your nose, “do you still wanna do this?” 
you nodded, and lewis smiled, releasing your hands and bracing them around his neck, “okay, sweetheart, get up on the counter for me.” 
you did as you were told, and lewis almost felt now as if you were the most delicate china. you’d let him in, formed an emotional bond and that was something he would cherish forever. you spread your legs, much like earlier, and lewis reached over into the cabinet by the oven, pulling out a condom from a boz in the corner of it. 
“why do you have condoms in your kitchen?” you asked, a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk on your face. lewis laughed. 
“never know when you’ll need them,” he winked. 
you watched intently as pumped his hand over his dick several times before he rolled it on. 
“ready?” 
“ready,” you smiled, wrapping your arms back around his shoulders, hands in his dreads. he guided himself inside of you, and as he stretched you out inch by glorious inch, your fingers got tighter around his hair and your breath hitched more and more, “fuck, lewis.” 
he groaned when his ball hit the counter, signalling that he was all the way inside of you, and he pulled your chin to face him, lulling your eyes open by pressing his forehead against yours. “just tell me when you’re ready to carry on, okay?” 
you nodded, feeling so content in lewis’ touch as he kissed your nose and stroked your cheeks with his fingers. a minute or so passed for you to adjust to his size, and when you did you kissed him back, “you can move now.” 
he did as he was told, moving steadily inside of you until he got into a good rhythm, slow enough so that he didn’t hurt you but fast enough so that you both got the pleasure you deserved out of it. you were whimpering and whining at the feeling, blabbering incoherently about how good he felt, begging him to go faster. 
“lewis, please - fuck, please go faster.” 
he hooked his fingers underneath your thighs and with his immense strength he picked you from the counter and lowered you until you were on the floor, all while still being inside of you. the kitchen tiles were cold on your back, but you didn’t care. he hovered over you, the angle much easier for him to fuck you properly and for you to feel the full effect of him inside of you. 
he began thrusting, his pace slightly quicker than it was before, and you cried out. lewis’ whimpers and groans were unlike anything you’d ever heard before, and you realised you never wanted to hear them from anyone else. you couldn’t help yourself, getting lost in the feeling of him inside of you so much. 
your moans stroked his ego, and the louder you got, the faster lewis’ thrusts became. “fuck, Y/N, you’re so good,” he groaned, dipping his head into your shoulder where he left marks from his stubbly chin, “so good and so tight.” 
you moaned again, eyes clenched shut as you felt the familiar onsets of an orgasm sparking up in your stomach. lewis’ hand found yours, and you entwined your fingers as he held it beside your head, a soft gesture that let you know he wasn’t going anywhere. 
“fuck, lewis,” you cried out, arching your back up off of the floor, “i’m gonna cum again, can’t hold it any longer.” 
after several more thrusts from lewis, you came with a cry, clenching around him like a vice. he wanted to hold out a little longer and try and give you a third before his own orgasm hit, but the feeling of you clenching so hard around his dick was too much for him. he came inside the condom, not even giving himself time to pull out like he usually did, and you pictured what it would be like without the condom. 
he fucked the pair of you through your orgasm, and when you couldn’t take the sensitivity, he pulled out of you and rolled to his back. you were amazed that someone could make you feel this good. you felt like you could do anything, and you were positive he felt the same. 
you tucked yourself into his side, and he happily let you, kissing your forehead as you wrapped your legs together and entwined yourself physically as well as emotionally. 
“that was so much better than i ever could’ve imagined.” 
he smiled at your words, “it’s never been like that with kiara, this was different, the best kind of different,” his lips found yours when you looked up at him, “what’re you doing to me Y/N Y/L/N?” 
“what do you mean?” you furrowed your eyebrows, and his heart skipped a beat at your niavety. 
“i’m losing my mind over you,” he admitted, “the best thing that ever happened to me was meeting you at the art gallery all those months ago,” his fingers stroked your hair delicately, “i’ll never be able to live my life unless you’re in it.” 
you laid your head on his chest, and you could hear the abnormally fast thumping of his heart rocking against his bones. “wanna know something?” you raised an eyebrow as you looked up to him, “i’ll never be able to live mine without you in it either.” 
“then stay,” lewis offered, “stay all week, and when kiara comes back from paris we’ll figure something out. i can’t live without you, Y/N. you’re a part of me now.” 
you blushed, and your lips instinctively made their way to his. 
“you’re a part of me now too, lewis, and i wouldn’t change it for the world.”  
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imthebadguyyy · 2 years
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on his tongue
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synopsis • after the whole thigh riding in the car saga, lewis decides his car should be home to even more adventures with you.
pairing • lewis hamilton x reader
fandom • f1
warnings • smut, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, car sex.
a/n • can be read as a sequel to this or on its own! enjoy my loves ; )
honestly, you really needed to stop getting into such situations.
yet again, here you were, dress hiked up to your thighs, lips pressed messily to lewis' in the backseat of his car while your hips ground together in sync, soft gasps and moans leaving your mouth while growls left his.
lewis' hands trailed up and down your body, letting his hands trace over your exposed thighs, smirking when he felt your thighs quiver. it was no secret that he loved pleasing you. it was an ego boost for him to make you feel good, to know that he was the one making you feel that ecstatic.
he licks your cheek playfully, a permanent smile etched into his face. his hand slides further up your body until he reaches the lacy fabric of your bra. he squeezes gently, and elicits a soft sound from your lips, that to him sound as sweet as cherry wine.
while he slips his tongue into your mouth, he pulls at the edge of your bra until his hand comes into contact with your bare chest. you moan again, a little louder than you’d care to admit. but you reason, that as his hips drag against yours, he doesn’t mind. he doesn’t mind at all.
your senses have been reduced to a jumbled mess, mind running as he works your body in every which way. with his tongue halfway down your throat, he starts to grind upwards, all while rolling your nipple in between his thumb and index finger.
the radio changes the song, and the first few notes of girls needs love start floating through the car and your neck arches backwards.
but then the first new notes of the bass drum hit, and lewis begins humming along into the expanse of your throat. you feel the vibrations deep down in the pit of your tummy from his voice, and your head tilts back further. the rocking of your hips against each other begins to follow the beat.
your hand glides up his chest and grabs him by the chin until his mouth meets yours in another bruising kiss. "i hope you know that if you need dick you just need to ask" he smirks and you chuckle. "i do. now why don't you just shut up and prove you really do know what youre doing?"
you pull him back down onto you, nails digging into the flesh of his back as the other dips beneath the waistband of his pants, running along the base of his spine, feeling the goosebumps break across his skin as you do.
he bucks up into you then, hands holding your hips still as he stiffens against you. "you’re fucking sexy, ya know that?" he says, accompanies with another slow, hard roll of his pelvis. "so. fucking. sexy."
it’s at that moment when summer walkers voice fades out into a dull bass filled beat, reverberating in your ears. you hear the bass over the sounds of your combined pants, and it's when you suck very gently on his top lip that lewis decides to take charge. letting go of your hips, he lifts the hem of your dress raising it off your torso and over your head.
although it takes him seconds, it feels like it takes an eternity, as lewis travels down the valley of your breasts, down to your stomach where he stops, and licks slow circles around your belly button until you shudder almost continually. his tongue dips into your belly button and your foot jerks. his mouth travels lower.
you can't imagine how uncomfortable he must be. stuck between the driver's seat and the backseat, supported by his hand and his leg that hangs onto the floor. you really want to pity him, but you simply don’t have it in you. especially when he looks at you like that, mouth red and hot against your skin.
it burns like coals against you, as he breathes hot air onto the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.
he takes a minute to settle down, to become eye-level with your clothed cunt, while maintaining a cozy sort of closeness. once again, he gently strokes the waistband of your panties, and, with expert fingers—ones that have done this to you a thousand times— eyeing the dark red wine colour of your underwear.
"i don't know if i tell you often", he moans into your thigh with squinted eyes. "but you’re the prettiest fucking person ive ever seen" he bites the flesh of your hip. "prettiest fucking thing ive ever seen" he repeats, and your heart thuds at an irregular pace against your chest as you watch him. slow, then fast, hard and then non-existent, all at once. its overpowering, mind-numbing and scary. but it's also exhilarating in the best way possible.
your mind slows down so much you feel as though youre moving backwards through time. the thought of what you think is going to happen has you panting again.
"now you know the rule" he starts, pressing another kiss into your skin, this time even lower. he tilts your hips up just a bit higher, so that way they’re level with his nose; eyes just barely peeking over your mound. He inhales sharply. "you have to be as loud as you can or i stop. just please, fuck, please don’t hold back on me" he whispers.
and with that reminder, he’s diving in. you feel his tongue slip out, softly licking at your already swollen clit, and you realize this feeling is unlike anything. it's heaven and it's hell, it's sanity and insanity, and you love it. your chest falls hard with every aggressive rise, and the more it obscures your view of lewis the more you adjust yourself so that way it doesn’t. you want to see him.
his mouth wraps around your clit and he gently sucks at it, his chin grazing your hole as his tongue explores the familiar territory.
he continues with his ministrations, pulling soft moans out of you. it's a melody, a harmony. a symphony of low groans and raw moans and desperate whines leave your lips. each and every noise; every perfectly composed addition gives way to how your pleasure builds. "fu—oh, my god, lewis" you manage to gasp out, remembering his rule, head pressing against the leather seats.
he’s barely touched you. hasn’t even quite moved on from your clit, and yet? you’re a fucking mess. your breathing is uneven, and your heart is erratic. its a dizzying experience everytime he sucks on your clit. he alternates, tightening the control on his lips or flattening his tongue. he holds the reigns in one hand and your heart in the other. its an intriguing thought, one that is full of both annoyance and extreme pride that lewis—your lewis, can get you this worked up in a matter of minutes.
your legs feel heavy against his shoulders, knees buckling from the pleasure. the noises that come from him are pornographic, to say the least. obscene and dirty, muffled by your puffy lips. you can tell he loves it.
"you’re doing great, pretty girl. so fucking good" he growls into your pussy, lapping at your juices.
"you taste sweeter than candy" he groans, and you can feel him move against you; further down until his broad nose hits your clit and his tongue teases the outside of your entrance.
completely disregarding the energy floating in the air, he keeps at a leisurely pace. concentrated on keeping you on edge. it's almost as of he's drunk off of you. from the way your eyes glaze over to the way you taste. just completely intoxicated by you.
then suddenly he’s mouthing at your cunt, tongue dipping into your aching hole with fervour. it's familiar territory for him, an area he's memorized so he knows exactly what makes you feel good, what makes you jerk, what makes you tick. about your reactions. about your ethereal sounds. as much as his brain can take. he’s edging you, fucking you on his tongue as you melt like putty at his experienced touch.
an unexpected high-pitched moan escapes your swollen mouth, and your breath gets caught in your throat. "holy fuck, lewis! ah—fuck, just, you’re…right there" your hands clutch the leather between your fingers, and you're pretty sure you've ripped a hole in the leather. a familiar warmth pools in your tummy, fingers running through his hair in response, scratching at his scalp and pulling his braids roughly.
that gets him. its that action that has him faltering for the first time. his hips, which have been subconsciously grinding into the leather seat, stutter, and he stops completely.
the veins in his arms strain and protrude and you almost cum right there. its a tantalizing sight. one that makes you hot and bothered, and you can tell from the way his body twitches that he feels the same way.
you yank on his hair again, and with a loud groan he jerks up into you. a dangerous glint gleams in his eyes as he shoots up to yours and he lifts himself off of you. "you’re playing a dangerous game, darling"
he crawls up your body, dragging his wet tongue over every crevice and dip. he leaves a thick trail of your arousal in his wake. I
his tongue swirls along your ribs, the place where you’re most ticklish, and it reveals his favourite sound in the world - your laugh. over the curve of your breast, covered with hickeys and bites, marks from previous endeavours. and then finally right above your heart. where he lives, where he loves and can be loved. his home.
he sucks a mark into your chest before moving onto your lips, pressing chaste kisses to your lips.
his fingers prod your sodden hole, before they will inside. you gasp at the intrusion, hips bucking up into his fingers.
he slides another finger into you, scissoring until you're shaking above him. his fingers inch deeper, trying to find that spot, while his mouth sinks down onto your nipple, biting the pert flesh until you gasp brokenly.
his fingers work in tandem with his mouth and then for a moment everything goes blank.
he finds that spot. that one spot within you that makes you see stars and releases the anchor that holds you down as you gush on his fingers, with a scream of his name that melts into the music.
lewis finger fucks you through your orgasm, eyes trained on your face and how your mouth is agape and eyes are glossy and you struggle to stop shaking.
"thats it baby, nice and slow, such a good girl" he coos, now pressing gentle kisses to your collarbone and your nose simultaneously.
you come down from your high, and he comes up to sit back down on the seats.
"see, that wasn't so hard was it?" he says and you slap his arm playfully.
"it cant have been comfortable for you" you say, leaning back on his chest.
"it wasn't all that comfortable that's true. maybe you should repay me with, something else, hmm?"
"on it, sir"
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
TAGS - *:・゚✧*:・゚
a/n • maybe i should make this car sex series a thing 🤭 as always feedback comments reblogs etc are appreciated! i love you guys!
masterlist
f1 - @theonly1outof-a-billion
everything - @roslastyles420
to be added to the taglist send me an ask or a DM specifying which fandom 🤍
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lewiscrown · 2 years
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PANCAKES
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you wake up as the light peeks through the blinds. you smile remembering last night and blush a little remembering how good Lewis made you feel.
you're broken out of your trance as you smell something really good coming from downstairs. you grab Lewis big white Mercedes shirt from the floor and run down the stairs.
you stop at the doorway of the kitchen as you see a shirtless Lewis wearing just boxers and humming as he stood over the oven.
walking up behind him you hugged him from behind.
"babe you're gonna make me burn the pancakes," he chuckled lightly, saying that in his damn sexy morning voice.
"ohh so that's what you're making," you said moving next to him.
he looked down at you lovingly as he leaned down to kiss you and you kissed him back.
"you look great in my shirt by the way," he whispered into your ear as your cheeks reddened.
"thanks," you say blushing.
"they're nearly done so just go and sit at the table,”
he said to you not before kissing you obvs.
"okay," you said not forgetting to slap his ass before you walked to the table."babe was that really necessary," he said laughing.
"no but it was fun and besides you should be lucky not every man has an ass as good as yours ,"
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blvewire · 2 years
Note
u only just discovered pipe. r u ok. r u deceased
i am not ok. i’ve listened to the song before but like once or maybe twice and at the time i wasn’t interested in f1 so i obviously didn’t put 2 and 2 together. he’s so good i cant wait for him to drop more songs
it also got me thinking and imagining situations that have to do with it 👀
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—————————
- you two have been kinda flirty with each other but none of you would take the first step
- seeing each other at the paddock every weekend was killing lewis
- then the news of him being the featured artist in christina aguilera’s song came out and everyone had different reactions to it
- some teased him, others congratulated him. you didn’t react, more like couldn’t react. he had left you speeches. especially because of how dirty the lyrics were
- the team was throwing a party at the bar of the hotel, and you two obviously attended
- after some drinks, dancing and self-convincing chats with yourself you decided that tonight you would be the first to act upon your feelings.
- you got up the small stage the bar had and grabbed the microphone. you talked for a moment to the dj of the place. everyone cheered when they saw you up there.
- “where’s our champion, huh? where’s lewis?” you asked and everyone started pointing at him, he waved hello at you with furrowed eyebrows but a smile on his face. “come on, get up here!”
- people chanted his name so much he decided to obey you. lewis was given another microphone. “hi, what’s going on?” he inquired
- your smile was as big as the hotel y’all were staying at. “oh nothin’, i just thought that we have already thanked you a lot for what you do for the team,” your words were a little bit slurred, but not much. “aaand maybe you could use this opportunity to thank them back by giving us a little show.”
- you signaled the dj to play his song and he looked at you in disbelief. “what?”
- “come on, i’ll help you. it’ll be fun!” the song starts and you begin singing, knowing the lyrics by heart since you’ve listened to it nonstop after learning lewis was featured in it. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you because not only were you singing very explicit lyrics but also dancing slow and sexy. your two first verses and choruses were done and it was time for lewis to sing. you walked to him and traced his shoulders with ur hands as you walked passed him. lewis’ hand on your waist as he started vocalizing the first words to his verse.
- “I’m about to show you domination” he sang as he turned to look you in the eyes. his eyes and words almost warning you of what was to come after the party.
- you two sang and danced together earning all kinds of cheering from the crowd of people you two knew very well. the sexual tension between you two more apparent than ever.
- “i don’t care how pretty your voice is,” he spoke in your ear when the song finished since he felt kind of embarrassed for basically giving his team a show. “i’m gonna ruin it by making you scream tonight”
- “what are you waiting for?” you challenged him with a smile plastered on your face, loving messing with him.
- you leave the party together and he proves that he is a man of his word.
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lorarri · 23 days
Text
꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ─ 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒 ˚₊· ꒱꒱
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─ summary . . . ❨ a song on a collab album starts sparks on social media and reveles a long time crush that a rapper has on a certain ferrari driver ❩ ─ pairing . . . ❨ rapper! lewis hamilton x fem! ferrari! f1 driver! reader ❩ ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩  ─ author note . . . ❨ oh you guys have no idea how special rapper! lewis is to me so enjoy! ❩
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❨ series masterlist | main masterlist | sol’s masterlist ❩
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f1
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liked by champagnepapi xnda 199,257,368 others
f1 the rappers are out in full force for the first race of the season 😮‍💨🫡✨
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user poor Justin being dragged to the race just to see Y/N
user Drake and Lewis def are there to profess their love for Y/N
user STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE FUCK BOYS
user why are these guys even at the race
user how am I supposed to compete with XNDA AND DRAKE
user Y/N RUN
user okay but drake and Y/N couple be such a good couple ⤷ xnda hello what am I chopped liver???  ⤷ user PHAHAHHAHHAH
user find it so funny how forza ferrari was playing all weekend
user the fact that xnda and drake got to meet Y/N before me I'M SO JEALOUS
user okay but the way xnda was talking about Y/N in the interview he did with martin HE'S IN LOVEEEEE
user I know drive to survie gonna EAT THIS UPPPPP
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F1 → Y/N L/N TALKS ABOUT THE SEASON SO FAR AND THE XNDA AND DRAKE SONG
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Y/N
baby one chance is all your getting
pick me up from my apartment at 9pm
we are going to dinner
LEWIS
you won't regret this baby
once change is all I need
I promise
xnda
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liked by yourinstagram champagnepapi 398,479,480 others
xnda you call it stalking I call it persistence, but still I rise
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pucksandpower · 2 months
Text
Rosso Corsa
Lewis Hamilton x Leclerc!Reader
Summary: Lewis Hamilton has been called the GOAT by many … after he becomes your brother’s new teammate, you learn firsthand that being the greatest of all time extends to quite a few other aspects of his life as well
Warnings: 18+ content
Special thanks to @struggling-with-drivers for being an amazing friend and source of feedback who experienced today’s crazy whirlwind of news with me
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You stand on the balcony of Lewis’ penthouse overlooking the harbor in Monaco, watching the rain pour down. The raindrops beat a steady rhythm on the metal railing as you take a sip of your coffee.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Lewis says as he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. You relax into his embrace, still not used to how affectionate he is with you.
“Morning,” you reply with a small smile. “The rain woke me up early.”
“Hmm, I hope it didn’t disturb you too much,” Lewis murmurs as he nuzzles your neck. You bite your lip to hold back a pleasured sigh.
“I don’t mind it. I’ve always found the sound of rain soothing,” you say.
Lewis hums in response as you both stare out at the stormy sea. The rain is coming down hard now, large droplets splattering on the balcony floor.
“Shall we go inside where it’s warm and dry?” Lewis asks after a few moments.
You nod and let him guide you back into the open living room. The floor-to-ceiling windows provide a stunning view of Monaco even in the gloomy weather.
Lewis busies himself making a fresh cup of tea while you settle on the large sectional sofa, tucking your feet under you. Your mind wanders as you watch the rain streak down the windows.
You’ve been staying with Lewis for almost two weeks now, only a few months after he signed with Ferrari as your brother’s new teammate. You grew up in these very streets with Charles, the two of you extremely close in age and personality. He was your fiercest protector, shielding you from the realities of life in the spotlight.
But now you’re an adult, and Charles can no longer shelter you entirely. Especially not from someone as charming and persuasive as Lewis Hamilton.
You suppress a shiver as you remember the first time you met Lewis while joining your brother in Maranello. His warm brown eyes lingered on you as Charles introduced you. He took your hand and held it a beat too long, his thumb gently caressing your knuckles. A secretive smile played on his lips, sending your heart racing.
Over the next few days, Lewis went out of his way to talk to you, compliment you, make you laugh. Whenever Charles was preoccupied, Lewis found an excuse to steal you away, guiding you by the small of your back or brushing his fingers against yours.
You knew you should keep your distance. Lewis had a reputation, and Charles would be furious if he knew how Lewis was pursuing you. But you couldn’t resist his allure.
So when Lewis invited you to stay with him instead of in your empty apartment while Charles was away, you said yes despite your better judgment. And now here you are, growing more attached to Lewis each day.
You’re drawn out of your reminiscing when Lewis sits down next to you, switching out your rapidly cooling coffee for some earl grey with a splash of oat milk.
“What are you thinking about so seriously over here?” He asks, his tone playful yet gentle. He runs his fingers lightly up and down your arm, raising goosebumps on your skin.
You take a sip of coffee to buy yourself a moment. “Oh, just remembering when we first met,” you say, aiming for nonchalance.
Lewis smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Ah yes, I remember it well. I took one look at you and was completely enthralled.”
You blush and avoid his gaze. “Lewis ...”
“What? It’s true,” he says earnestly. When you shyly meet his eyes, they shine with warmth and affection. “From that very first moment, I wanted to get to know you, protect you ...”
He trails off as he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, his fingers grazing your cheek. Your breath hitches at his touch.
“Why me?” You whisper.
Lewis shakes his head in amusement. “How could I not be drawn to you? You’re beautiful, charming, intelligent … anyone would be lucky to capture your attention.”
You stare down into your coffee, overwhelmed. No one has ever spoken to you this way before. Looked at you the way Lewis does, like you’re the most captivating person in the world.
“Hey, look at me,” Lewis murmurs. He tips your chin up until your eyes lock with his. “I mean every word. From the moment we met, all I’ve wanted is to get closer to you.”
His thumb strokes your bottom lip as he speaks. You’re helpless to pull away from his intense gaze.
“I know your brother wants to keep you locked away from reality,” Lewis continues seriously. “But you’re an adult now. You can make your own choices.”
His eyes flick down to your lips. Your breath catches in anticipation. Slowly, giving you time to pull back, Lewis leans in.
When his lips meet yours, you let your eyes drift shut. The kiss is soft and undemanding at first, Lewis letting you set the pace. As you respond tentatively, he pulls you closer, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head.
It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Kissing Lewis surrounds you in warmth, makes you feel desired and cherished. You let him deepen the kiss, chasing the delicious sensation.
After long, blissful moments, Lewis gradually slows the kiss. He presses light, sweet pecks to your lips as he pulls back just enough to meet your dazed eyes.
“Wow,” you breathe, eliciting a delighted chuckle from him.
“I’d say so too,” Lewis says, smile crinkling his eyes. He brushes his thumb over your lower lip again. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long now.”
You bite your lip as you study his handsome face. Your heart is racing but you’ve never felt more secure than wrapped in his strong arms. Still, a niggling thought won’t leave you alone.
“Lewis … what about Charles?” You ask uncertainly. “If he finds out ...”
Lewis presses another soft kiss to your forehead. “I know, I know. We’ll have to be careful.” He strokes your hair soothingly. “This can be our secret for now. I don’t want you to worry, love. I’ll take care of you.”
His sincerity and confidence settles your nerves. You nod and cuddle into his broad chest. Lewis’ arms come around you as he drops a kiss to the top of your head.
“Why don’t I make us some breakfast?” He suggests. “We can spend the day inside, just the two of us.”
You smile up at him. “That sounds perfect.”
Lewis smiles and steals one more lingering kiss before heading to the kitchen. You settle back against the plush cushions, heart full.
The rain continues to fall steadily outside. But here, wrapped in Lewis’ affection, you’ve never felt warmer.
***
You pace back and forth in Lewis’ driver’s room, nerves making your heart flutter. The deafening roar of the crowds just outside echoes in your ears.
Lewis did it. He won his first race with Ferrari today. You watched with pride and excitement as he stood on the top step of the podium, rosso corsa vivid against the grey skies as the champagne poured down.
Now you wait for him to finish with the press and the team, bouncing anxiously on the balls of your feet. You smooth your hands down your dress for the tenth time, wondering if you’re making a mistake.
Finally the door opens and Lewis steps inside. His race suit is unzipped to the waist, his sculpted chest straining against his fireproofs underneath. He breaks into a huge grin when he sees you.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he says warmly, striding over to fold you into his arms. “What a lovely surprise.”
You hug him back tightly, relieved laughter bubbling out of you. “I’m so proud of you! Your first win for Ferrari.”
Lewis kisses your temple before holding you at arm’s length, hands gentle on your waist. “Today has been incredible. But coming back to find you here waiting … that’s the best victory of all.”
You blush under the sincerity of his gaze. Reaching up, you run your fingers over the stubble on his jaw. “I wanted to celebrate with you privately first, before the team party.”
Lewis’ eyes darken with desire and he pulls you flush against him. “I can think of a few private celebrations I’d like to have with you,” he murmurs suggestively.
Your breath catches but you place a hand on his chest. “Wait. I have something to tell you first.”
Taking his hand, you lead him over to the small sofa along the wall. Lewis sits and pulls you down next to him, studying you intently.
You take a deep, steadying breath. Your heart is racing for an entirely different reason now.
“Lewis, I … I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you.” You keep your eyes locked on his, willing him to understand the depth of your emotions.
“I know we have to hide this from Charles and the team. But I’m tired of hiding how I feel.” You reach out to cradle his face in your hands. “I’m yours, Lew. In every way. If you want me.”
Lewis’ eyes flare with a mixture of desire and affection. He turns his head to press a fervent kiss to your palm.
“Are you certain, my love? We can wait until you’re ready,” he says seriously, though his body vibrates with pent up longing.
You smile tremulously and nod. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”
Needing no further encouragement, Lewis crushes his mouth to yours. He kisses you deeply, holding nothing back. You moan into his mouth, your hands twisting in his race suit.
When you finally break apart both gasping for air, Lewis rests his forehead against yours. His eyes blaze with arousal but his touch is gentle as he caresses your face.
Lewis lays you down gently on the bed, his body blanketing yours. His hand slips into your hair as he kisses you deeply, with restrained passion.
When he finally breaks the kiss, you’re both breathing hard. Lewis trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, nipping lightly at your pulse point in a way that makes you gasp.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he rasps, his voice rough with need.
You shake your head, arching into his touch. Your hands grasp at his shoulders, feeling the strength coiled under his shirt.
With deft fingers, Lewis begins unbuttoning your dress, exposing more and more of your flushed skin. He pauses when he reaches your bra, meeting your eyes questioningly. At your tiny nod, he reaches around and unhooks it, sliding the straps down your arms.
You flush as he reveals your bare breasts for the first time. Lewis groans low in his throat, eyes raking over you hungrily. Slowly he lowers his head, watching your face for any hesitation. When you bite your lip and nod for him to continue, he closes his lips around one taut nipple.
You cry out at the sensation, back arching off the bed. Lewis lavishes attention on your breasts, licking, sucking, kissing every inch of the sensitive skin. You’re mindless with pleasure, grasping at him desperately.
After an eternity, Lewis begins trailing hot kisses back down your stomach, hands unzipping your dress the rest of the way. He slides it down your legs tantalizingly slowly, caressing each new bit of exposed skin.
When you’re left in just your panties, Lewis pauses to admire you. “So beautiful,” he murmurs reverently before capturing your lips again.
His hands explore your body with new urgency, stroking along your sides, grasping your hips. You tentatively slide your hands under his shirt, feeling his muscles flex. Lewis groans and sits back just long enough to rip the Nomex over his head.
The feel of his bare chest against yours makes you dizzy with need. You start fumbling with his briefs until Lewis gently stills your hands.
“Slow down, love. We have all night,” he rasps, though his eyes are dark with desire. He kisses you languidly until you relax again, melting into his touch.
Only then does Lewis trail his hand down between your legs. You gasp against his mouth at the intimate caress, even through the fabric of your panties. He rubs you in slow circles until you’re mindless, pleading for more.
With utmost care Lewis slides your panties down your legs. His fingers return to stroke you directly and you cry out, arching into his hand.
“That’s it darling, let go for me,” Lewis coaxes. He watches your face raptly as he brings you higher and higher until you shatter around his fingers with a sharp cry.
As you float back down, Lewis kisses you tenderly. “You are so perfect, my love,” he whispers.
When you’ve caught your breath, Lewis stands just long enough to shed the rest of his clothes. The sight of him bare above you makes you flush anew, but you boldly meet his heated gaze.
Lewis settles between your thighs once more, the evidence of his desire pressing insistently against your core. He braces himself above you on one arm while the other hand caresses your face.
“I’ll go slow, I promise,” he says thickly. You nod, heart pounding in anticipation.
Lewis reaches down to position himself at your entrance. He watches your face intently as he begins to press inside you. Despite his care, you gasp at the burning stretch. Immediately Lewis stills, face taut.
“Keep going,” you plead breathlessly.
Jaw clenched, Lewis pushes forward inexorably slowly until he’s fully seated inside you. He drops his head to your shoulder with a guttural groan.
“Oh god, you feel incredible,” he grits out.
You cling to him, overwhelmed at the new sensations. The fullness, the intimacy of being joined so completely.
Lewis is trembling with the effort to keep still above you. You trail kisses across his shoulder, silently telling him you’re ready.
Tenderly Lewis begins to move, rocking into you with gentle thrusts. The slight ache soon disappears, replaced by waves of pleasure. You wrap your legs around his hips, urging him deeper.
Lewis gradually increases his pace, unable to hold back any longer. His eyes burn into yours as he moves within you.
“I love you,” he gasps out. “Love you so much, Y/N.”
You cry out his name as the pleasure crests and breaks over you. Lewis follows seconds later with a low groan, burying his face in your neck.
You cling together as you float back to earth, hearts thundering in tandem. Lewis trails feather-light kisses over your face as you bask in the afterglow.
“Thank you for trusting me with this gift, my darling,” Lewis eventually murmurs.
You smile up at him radiantly. “I’ll love you forever for this night.”
Lewis’ eyes shine as he draws you impossibly closer. The crowds and thoughts of your brother seem lifetimes away. There is only you and Lewis and the sweet passion between you.
And as your bodies join in intimate unity, you know you made the right choice entrusting yourself completely to this man. For Lewis holds not just your body, but your heart.
***
The morning light filters into the bedroom, rousing you from sleep. You shift under the sheets, pleasantly sore, as memories from the night before come rushing back.
A smile steals over your face as you recall Lewis’ tender passion, the way he whispered his love to you again and again. You’ve never felt closer to another person.
Strong arms tighten around your waist from behind as Lewis nuzzles into your neck. “Good morning, my love,” he rumbles, voice still thick with sleep.
You roll over to face him, heart skipping at his rumpled hair and warm brown eyes. “Morning,” you whisper back, suddenly shy.
Lewis’ hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. “How are you feeling?”
You lean into his touch. “Wonderful,” you say honestly. At his delighted grin, you add, “Last night was … incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
“Mmm, neither have I,” Lewis says seriously. “Making love to you was the greatest gift you could have given me.”
He kisses you sweetly, then trails his lips along your jaw. “I can’t wait to explore more with you,” he murmurs, making you shiver.
Over the next weeks and months, Lewis takes great joy in broadening your horizons in the bedroom. With endless patience he teaches you the intricacies of pleasure, guiding you through new experiences you once only dreamed of. Under his patient guidance, you blossom from an innocent novice to a confident lover.
He delights in watching you come undone under his skillful hands and mouth, praising you for being such an eager student. Your nights together are filled with ecstasy, whispered endearments, and an ever deepening bond.
“That’s it, darling. Just like that,” Lewis groans as you learn to use your mouth on him. He gently guides your rhythm, fingers tangled in your hair. His throaty praise urges you on until he finally spills over with a ragged moan.
Other nights, he focuses solely on you. Lewis maps every inch of your body with lips, tongue and fingers until you’re trembling and oversensitized. Only then does he finally sink into your eager body and take you apart completely.
“So perfect, so responsive,” he rasps in your ear as you claw at his back, his deep thrusts pushing you higher. “You were made for me, love.”
Your muffled cries ring out as ecstasy crashes through you. Lewis follows moments later with a guttural groan, his fingers leaving bruises on your hips.
The end of the British Grand Prix finds you waiting nervously in Lewis’ driver’s room, heart swelling with pride at his victory. When he strides in, sweaty and exhilarated, his entire face lights up to see you there.
He sweeps you into his arms, kissing you passionately. “Another win, my darling. Will you give me my prize now?”
You smile coyly up at him through your lashes. “Happily. I’ve missed you.”
Lewis groans and reclaims your lips. As your kisses grow heated, he murmurs, “You’re the best motivation any driver could ask for. My favorite part of winning has become knowing you’ll be here waiting for me.”
You make quick work of removing each other’s clothes, too impatient for slow seduction. Lewis lays you back on the couch, eyes blazing with desire.
“I love watching you experience new pleasures,” he says thickly. “Let me show you something exquisite today.”
You nod eagerly, ready for whatever he wants to teach you. Lewis trails hot kisses down your body until he’s kneeling before you. He looks up at you with dark eyes.
“Just relax and feel, my love.”
When his mouth descends on you, you cry out in shocked rapture. He wasn’t exaggerating about showing you something exquisite.
After, he gathers you close, pressing kisses to your temple. “Winning used to be my greatest joy,” he confesses softly. “Now, knowing you’ll be waiting to reward me is the only thing that matters.”
You smile and kiss him tenderly. In Lewis’ arms, you’ve discovered passion and intimacy beyond your wildest imaginings.
When asked about his dominance this season during interviews, Lewis just smiles secretively. “I’ve found powerful motivation,” is all he offers.
You watch from the shadows, heart swelling with love and pride for the man who’s brought you such fulfillment. You know that no matter what happens next, you'll never regret giving yourself so completely to Lewis.
***
You stand against a wall, watching Lewis take pictures with his side of the garage after a hard fought victory, unable to keep from smiling.
When he catches your eye, his lips quirk up. The heat in his gaze makes your cheeks flush.
You’re so distracted you don’t notice Charles until he’s right beside you. “Enjoying the celebrations?” He asks with a nudge to your shoulder.
You jump. “Oh! Yes, it’s quite exciting.”
Charles’ sharp eyes sweep between you and Lewis. “Hmm. Well I’m heading out for drinks with the team if you’d like to join.”
You grasp for an excuse. “Oh, um, I’m pretty tired actually …”
“She already has plans with me tonight.”
You freeze at Lewis’ voice over your shoulder. Dread pools in your stomach as you turn to see him watching Charles calmly.
Your brother goes rigid, eyes darting between you and Lewis. “Plans? What plans?” He asks, voice dangerously level.
You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Lewis steps closer, hand coming to rest on your lower back.
“I’m taking your sister out to dinner to celebrate properly,” he says smoothly. His thumb strokes your spine comfortingly.
Charles’ eyes zero in on the intimate touch, nostrils flaring. “Is that so,” he states flatly. His piercing gaze bores into you. “And does this happen often?”
Your mouth is dry as dust. You look helplessly up at Lewis.
He meets Charles’ glare steadily. “Your sister is an adult. Our relationship is no one’s business but our own.”
“Relationship?” Charles’ voice rises sharply. “How long has this-this thing been going on?”
You wince at his accusing tone. “For most of the season,” you whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just-”
Charles holds up a hand, looking ill. “I don’t want to hear it. My own teammate, Y/N? Are you trying to ruin me?”
Indignation flares through you. “For once, this isn’t about you! I lov-” you break off, tears stinging your eyes.
Lewis wraps an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side. “That’s enough, Charles,” he says quietly but firmly. “I understand you’re upset, but don’t take it out on your sister.”
Charles’ mouth twists bitterly. “Oh so now you’re going to lecture me about my own family?” He takes a step closer, eyes blazing. “Stay away from my sister, Hamilton, or I swear-”
“Enough!” Your shout echoes through the suddenly silent motorhome. You pull away from Lewis to stand tall, glaring at your brother.
“You don’t get to make demands, Charles. Not about this.” Your voice doesn’t waver even as tears spill down your cheeks.
“I’m in love with Lewis. And he loves me. This is real.” Your tone softens. “I wanted to tell you. But I need you to understand that this is my choice.”
Charles looks stunned, anger fading into hurt. “Y/N …” he reaches for you but you step back, shaking your head.
“I just need some time. Please try to understand.” With that you turn and hurry away, ignoring the tears clouding your vision.
You don’t stop until firm, familiar arms come around you. Lewis tucks you into his chest, stroking your hair as you finally let the tears fall.
“Shh it’s alright, I’ve got you,” he murmurs. He continues holding you until the storm of emotion passes.
Finally you look up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “What do we do now?”
Lewis caresses your cheek gently. "We’ll figure it out together. I meant what I said, I’m not giving you up.”
You manage a watery smile. Whatever comes next, you know you and Lewis can weather it as long as you have each other. Leaning up on your toes, you silence anymore words with a soft, sweet kiss.
It takes a few weeks, but finally Charles seeks you out.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted, petite soeur. It was a shock, but that’s no excuse.” He takes your hands in his. “I just want you to be happy. And if Hamilton — if Lewis — is who you want, then … I can accept that.”
Relief crashes over you. You fling your arms around Charles, tears pricking your eyes again.
“Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. “That means everything to me.”
Charles holds you close for a long moment before pulling back to give you a rueful smile. “Just promise me I won’t have to see anything too lovey-dovey between you two.”
You laugh through your tears. “I promise.”
Charles has never been able to resist when you turn your puppy dog eyes on him. And deep down, he wants nothing more than your happiness — even if that’s with his teammate.
1K notes · View notes
love-belle · 4 months
Text
i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.
or
for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others
yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all
18,528 comments
username IM SCREAMING MISS MA'AM WHAT IS THIS
username you were driving fast??? i was holding back??? and i loved you babe??? but i bet u knew that???
username nothing has ever and will ever hurt me like this ep has
username I MEANT DON'T GO IT CAME OUT AS GOODBYE U SAID FINE WHEN YOU SHOULD'VE SAID WE COULD TRY
username the way she's literally our mother like AHSHSJSJJSJSKSS I LOVE U
username lewis hamilton watch ur back
username tears are streaming down what the fuck
username OH SHIT I WON THE BREAKUP
username love how this ep is her crying abt lewis and simultaneously shitting on him and somehow still blaming herself for everything
username THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 HEAVEN 😭 KNOWS 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 WAS 😭 AND 😭 THERE 😭 IT 😭 GOES 😭
landonorris nice album 👍
-> yourusername thank u this random dude said it hit all the right corners
-> yourusername unlike u in the last race
-> landonorris UNPROVOKED
-> username NAH SHE'S SO WRONG FOR THIS
username did it hurt? when y/n finally acknowledged her break up but with a 5 song ep that rips out ur heart out of ur body and crushes it?
username need lewis to blind react to this NOW
username I KNOW THAT I SHOULD KNOW BETTER
username the way i know lewis saw this post and cried like imagine having to say that y/n y/l/n is ur ex gf???
-> username right like i would litch never show my face again
-> username no bc he was so "my girl is angry with me i hope death takes me swiftly" HOW IS HE HOLDING UP
username they still follow each other that HAS to mean something
username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN
-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)
carmenmmundt so proud 🩷
-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH
username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO
username WHEN U SAID WE'RE LIKE YOUR MUM AND DAD KNEW U LOVED ME BABE WHEN U TOLD ME THAT
username im in shambles whatcthe fufk
lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT
-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU
username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME
-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED
username she did NOT hold back
-> username committed several felonies one by one
-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK
username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD
username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears
charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".
-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that
-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT
-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT
username the way i loved u i will not be embarrassed of that just should've known when to quit ARE U KIDDING ME Y/N
username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago
16,689 comments
username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK
username nah im like wtf
username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????
username nah the audacity of men sometimes
username im going feral wgatctefuck
landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same
-> lewishamilton lando?
username bitches are so messy sometimes i LOVE it
username the way i know he cried while hitting post
-> username frrrr LMFAO like there's no way he's this thriving after the break up
username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔
username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????
-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv
-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"
-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭
username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her
-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP
username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again
maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.
-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?
-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC
-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed
username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf
-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS
-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk
-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK
-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO
-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔
-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf
georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???
-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me
-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE
-> username russell george i am shook
-> username omg he's madddddd
username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise
-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone
-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this
-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to
-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment
-> username roscoe barked at him
mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff
-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.
-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff
-> maxverstappen1 yes we will
-> charles_leclerc yes we will
-> carlossainz55 yes we will
-> landonorris yes we will
-> oscarpiastri yes we will
-> danielricciardo yes we will
-> fernandoalo_official yes we will
-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others
yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours
comments on this post have been limited
username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK
username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other
username IM CRYING ARE WE REALLY DONE DONE NOW
username OH SHIT YOU WON THE BREAKUP 🗣️🔥💯‼️
username i will forever remember the y/nlewis era 💔💔💔💔💔
username nah wtf i wasn't even this sad over my ACTUAL REAL parents divorce
username do it for roscoe guys get back bc of him :(
charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing
-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing
-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT
-> username IM CRYING SHE WILL NEVER LET THE GRID LIVE IN PEACE
username i will always remember the way lewis was so :) whenever she was around and the way y/n was so 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like
username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER
-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other
username y/n i will always let u bejeweled pls give me a chance
roscoelovescoco not cools mum's
-> yourusername LOG OUT OF THIS ACC I SWEAR TO GOD LEWIS
-> username IM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK
username I DON'T NEED YOUR LIGHT TO BE LIT
lilymhe YOU'RE GLOWING I LOVE U STAY HAPPY ALWAYS AHSHSJSISN 😡😡😡😡😡
-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU
username forever in love with her like AHSJSJSS
username i screamed
username someone sedate me im ginna pass out WHAT IS THIS
1K notes · View notes
cieloclercs · 7 months
Note
congrats on your 1K you deserve it‼️‼️
when you have the time could you write for lewis hamilton + nepo!reader ( male or female ) who is an actress / actor?
king of my heart — lewis hamilton
pairing. lewis hamilton x nepo baby!actress!reader
genre. social media au
face claim. gigi hadid
warnings. mentions of age gap, swearing, some online hate, lewis and reader are literally the hottest couple ever, daniel lowkey trolling lando, sex jokes ??, mixed up met gala years sorryyyy, some inaccuracies with race outcomes shshsh
author’s note. hello anon! thank you for being my first request for my 1k event 🥰 i wasn’t sure if you wanted an imagine style thing or not so i’ve gone for a social media au. hope that’s ok ! if not just let me know and i can redo this for you <3
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liked by kaiagerber and 4,739,725 others
yourusername when he takes you on a romantic getaway to a private beach island after being away for a month 🥹🥹 lewishamilton i love u bby 💕
view all comments…
lewishamilton Only the best for my Queen 🤍
yourusername 😘😘
username stopppp they’re so adorable 😭😭
username WHEN IS IT MY TURN
danielricciardo get yourself a man who’ll spoil you even though you literally have a higher net worth than him 🤩🤩🤩
yourusername i highly recommend it x
username danielricciardo you looking for a sugar daddy? 👀
danielricciardo why you offering? 😏
username DANNY WTF 😭
landonorris me and who? 👀
danielricciardo your right hand
landonorris wow
username what is in the air in australia today 😭
username sis is winning at life 😔
username wdym lewis is the one who should count himself lucky 🤷‍♀️
username bc his girlfriend’s a nepo baby who’s never worked a day in her life? don’t think so but ok 😂😂
username WOAH WOAH WOAH
username you come for y/n you’ll have to get through ME FIRST BITCH 🔪🔪🔪
username girlie woke up and chose violence yeesh
username you did not just claim an OSCAR WINNING ACTRESS have never worked a day in her life oh my god 😭
*lewishamilton liked this comment
username embarrassing 😳
*lewishamilton liked this comment
username lewis out here defending y/n from the haters 🥹 where can i find a man like that??
zendaya the cutest couple 😍
yourusername thank you my love 😘
tomholland2013 ?? 🤨
yourusername 😐🖕
username team y/ndaya button >>>
*zendaya, yourusername and 5,736 others liked this comment
lilymhe oooh la laaa 😍😍
yourusername my girl 😚
username imagine being able to say you’re dating THE y/n y/l/n i’d never fucking shut up about it
username it’s a good job lewis doesn’t shut up about it then 😭
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liked by yourusername and 59,136 others
themetgalaofficial This year’s hottest couple, award-winning actress Y/N Y/L/N and seven-time Formula 1 World Champion, Sir Lewis Hamilton, grace the Met Gala red carpet 🤍
username she’s everything. he’s just ken.
username you did not just call LEWIS HAMILTON ‘just ken’ 😭
username she doesn’t deserve him 🤢🤢
username seriously what does he see in her?? she’s completely talentless. the only reason she’s managed to land ANY acting job is because of her father. she’s a fucking fraud. 🙄
username no need for the negativity honey, lewis still isn’t going to fuck you x
*yourusername liked this comment
username SHE DID NOT 😭😭 WHAT AN ICON
username omg y/n looks like a goddess 😍 and lewis is there too i guess…
username fucking nepo baby. fuck off and blow daddy’s money somewhere else u whore 🖕🖕
username i smell jealousy…
username 😂😂 what’s there to be jealous of?
username maybe the fact that y/n is a thousand times richer and more successful than you will ever be OF HER OWN MERIT…oh and the fact she’s fucking lewis hamilton every night, which you so clearly want to do from the BLATANT jealousy your comments reek of 😘
username ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS
username ma’am, you dropped this 👑
username SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🎤🎤
username oh, y/n’s stylist has outdone herself with this one 🤩
username MOM AND DAD
username they’re so ����😩😩
username i want them both so bad 🫠
username who’s the arm candy in this relationship? 🤔
username i’d say y/n because she’s prettiest…but lewis. it’s definitely lewis.
*yourusername liked this comment
username somehow i just know she walks him like a DOG
yourusername thank you for having us ☺️🤍
themetgalaofficial It’s our pleasure 🤩
username yourusername HEY QUEEN
username even the met gala is an y/n fan
*themetgalaofficial liked this comment
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tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton The happiest 4 years with my Queen 🤍 Here’s to forever x
view all comments…
yourusername the last picture was uncalled for 🥲
yourusername but i love you with everything that i have to give, my champion ❤️
lewishamilton I’m the luckiest man on earth to call you mine 😘
landonorris this is the sappiest shit i’ve ever read.
yourusername stay salty, lando 😚
danielricciardo landonorris it’s ok, mate, we know you’re doomed to be single for life. here if you ever want to talk x
yourusername danny 😭
landonorris ouch.
username SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP WHEN IS IT MY TURN
username they’re so in love it makes my heart hurt
username the third picture is proof Y/N WALKS HIM LIKE FUCKING ROSCOE 😭😭
username ok but WHENS THE PROPOSAL COMING???
username lewishamilton WHEN??
mercedesamgf1 Happy anniversary to our golden couple 🤩
yourusername thank you admin! 🤍 can’t wait to see you in singapore x
mercedesamgf1 We’re looking forward to it 🫶
username i still don’t like y/n but…this is kind of cute
username now that’s character development 👏
username glad you’ve finally realised !!
zendaya happy anniversary, my loves 😍
yourusername thank you sweetie 😘 come visit soon !
sebastianvettel Happy anniversary! 🤍
lewishamilton ❤️
username omg seb interacting on instagram? what is this parallel universe 🫨
username yourusername lewishamilton YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR A DOG BC I CAN BARK
username girl wtf 😭
username when they have kids they’re gonna be the ultimate milf and dilf 🤩
username STOP i need dilf lewis rn 😭
username MY FAVOURITE COUPLE I LOVE YOUUUU 💕
username it literally feels like yesterday that they first got together 😭
username i knowwww how has it been four years already?
username i want what they have 🥹🫶
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liked by lewishamilton and 10,256,947 others
tagged: lewishamilton
yourusername king of my heart 👑
lewishamilton 🤍🤍
comments on this post have been limited.
1K notes · View notes
agendabymooner · 5 months
Text
SOMETHING MEMORABLE !!! LEWIS H. X FEM!READER (18+)
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summary: it’s easy to celebrate something with someone you love — it’s even better if you’ve got something to remember that day with.
content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), pwp, use of explicit language, blurb, we don’t proofread we rawdog our writing for best content, protected sex (FINALLY!!! SOMEONE WHO USED PROTECTION IN MY FIC), spitting, sex tape/consensual recording, aftercare, established relationship
note: didn’t mean to moan that loud my b. enjoy xx
something sinful (smut) masterlist
a - n masterlist
o - z masterlist
💌re:moony’s planner is opened!!!
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the squelching of her cunt and her vocal moans, alongside his grunts, were echoing inside this pricey hotel suite — and lewis paid well just so they could get the privacy that they sought and deserved after this gruelling racing season. 
everyone, the staff and their mothers, looked the other direction whenever she and lewis got out of their suite every morning after an endless night of rough and passionate sex. 
no one asked questions— instead they would only nod and greet the couple politely as they walked past before looking at each other in disbelief— not believing that these two just fucked like animals hours before and pretended that nothing happened. 
now here she was. her back arched as she laid flat on her stomach, her legs squirming while his thick cock hammered into her cunt. his hips rutting against hers from behind as he grunted aloud, praising her endlessly before tugging her hair up to point at the direction of the camera in front of the two of them. 
“look at you, baby,” the seven time world champion spoke breathlessly, fucking her as his hand snaked up to her chin and squished her face lightly. “y’look so pretty. ‘specially with my cock inside your pussy— do you see yourself?” 
the red light flashed in front of them, their sweaty faces reflecting in front of them as the camera laid there— recording the lewd sounds of their bodies and fluids squelching against their figures. 
her mewling wasn’t an exception to this— in fact, lewis would be so happy to hear her crying out more than his cock rearranging her insides in the recordings. 
“open your mouth, baby,” lewis demanded quietly, with her obliging as she gasped at his length hitting her sensitive spot. lewis hovered above her and spat in her mouth. she immediately swallowed it and lazily smiled in pleasure, gasping again when he began to pick up his pace and fucked her roughly. 
lewis grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her back closer to his chest, her tits splayed out for the camera as he thrusted his hips up to her spot. 
“lewis, i’m cumming- fuck!” she exclaimed, “yeah! right there— fuuuuck~ i’m cumming.” 
“wanna tell ‘em how fucking good you’re feeling, princess?” he spoke lowly, smirking before his mouth let out a moan— a sign that he was reaching his high. 
“‘m i— fuck— love yo- god, so fuckin’ good~” she mewled, her voice croaking as her legs shook. 
her moans turned into screams, strings of curses escaping both of their mouths as they both reached their high. 
with one last thrust, lewis leaned forward to give her a sweet kiss before pulling out. the recording camera was long abandoned as he discarded his used condom and turned off the camera. 
they felt little to no regret about every single thing they’ve done in this room— feeling like they were the only two people in the world as silence took over and euphoria washed over their system as lewis climbed back up to the bed with a warm damp cloth in hand. 
cleaning her up, he tossed the used towel aside before pulling her close.
“this is such a memorable anniversary,” she murmured, pulling him to a slow kiss as he chuckled. 
“happy tenth anniversary, baby,” lewis replied, his hand trailing down her lower back as he continued, “we sure made this a memorable one huh?”
“mhm,” she replied, her eyes blinking slowly before her breathing began to soften and snores escaped her mouth. 
lewis quietly laughed, cuddling closer to her as he, too, fell asleep.
yeah. those videos would have to wait.
1K notes · View notes
macybeckham7 · 3 months
Note
You’re pregnant and Lewis is VERY protective of you and the baby, making sure you aren’t stress and always carrying all the bags. A lot of the other drivers pick it up and never let you do anything and always offering to carry your bags if he isn’t around and asking you about how the Little one is doing.
Lewis has always been pretty protective over you, but when you found out that you were expecting he has become even more protective. He was always making sure that you weren’t stressed, taking you to spas to relax you while you travelled with him. Whenever you tried to pick anything up, he was instantly taken away from you. ‘I could carry it’ you tell him. He was always running ahead of you, or carrying you down any flight of stairs. A few drivers had realised what was going on between the two of you, whenever Lewis wasn’t around Carlos, Charles, Pierre and Danny Riccc made sure to help you along. ‘How is the little one doing?’ they ask with a smile. They are all beyond happy for the two of you as they tell you that you and Lewis will be the best parents. A few videos and photos of the drivers helping you around the paddocks.
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twobluejeans · 9 months
Text
HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!
charles leclerc x famous!reader
summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.
part 1: don’t start, part 2: wtf does ET know?
faceclaim: varies but for rn madison beer
ally’s radio 📻: heavily inspired by taylor swift and joe alwyn’s breakup bc im still in mourning. a lot of tswift references 🫶
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y/nflorals Y/N GETTING EMOTIONAL DURING THE 1 LAST NIGHT IN GLASGLOW! via loveonshow
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user4 okay but the fit fire
sweetnothingy/n my show my song ❤️‍🩹
user5 man she even looks pretty when she cries this is not fair bruh
back2decemberl/n this was a religious experience. i nearly died
loveontourhs FRANCE GOT ROBBED.
dontblamemey/n SHE REPLACED INVISIBLE STRING WITH THE 1?? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
leclercy/n @dontblamemeleclerc i’m gonna kms
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liked by haileybieber, norizzland0, and 122,728 others
enews photos caught of ‘lover’ singer #y/nl/n and #charlesleclerc fighting outside a restaurant in london tonight. click link in bio for more info on the it couple’s nasty choice of words.
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arianagrande take this down immediately. please respect people’s privacy for once oml
chary/n @arianagrande ARIANA WHAT ARE U DOING HERE??
devil_leclerc this was not the family reunion i was expecting 💀
badbloody/n this feels so invasive and wrong on so many levels
trishapaytasnotreal oh this looks nasty, poor bby 🙁
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liked by lewishammi,midnightrainy/n, and 608 others
lordpercevalupdates i don’t wanna scare anyone even more but…
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user1 girl what
y/nmybeloved “i think i’ve seen this film before…”
charles.y/n @y/nmybeloved don’t even.
allmychampagney/n fell to my knees at walmart
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ally’s radio 📻: i swear this gets better 😭 pls im a star 🙏
planning on making this a multi-series so i if u want a tag, pls lmk!! 💋.
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lewiscrown · 2 years
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SKIN CARE
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“LEWIS …LEWIS WAKE UP “
“Can you not let me lie in ?”
“No ! Getup out of bed and get changed “
Ever since you got to Monaco last week you’ve been itching to go to the new beauty store. It’s filled with make-up for days skincare for years a woman’s dream. And if that means I have to wake up Lewis and put him in a bad mood so be it.
“ oh my days what are you doing ?”
“ I’m having a shower I don’t want to go there dirty. Besides how will pick out a new girlfriend that doesn’t wake me up at ridiculous times”
“Oh my days “
“ care to join me?“
“ I’m not falling for that “
After a forever dragging Lewis to get in the car and drive there . We are finally here. See you there rows of perfumes dozens of foundation bottles in the corner of your eye is the glistening from the Fenty highlighters .
Without realising you your face lit up from the smiling from ear to ear.
“Oh my days . Okay you have a basket and I have a basket.”
“Baby I don’t think we need 2 baskets “
“Trust me we will “
Already 10 minutes into walking down isle to isle one bag basket full to the brim. Before you know it Lewis has trailed off to find skincare
“Babe?”
“Yeah I’m here . Baby I have you seen RiRi’s new moisturiser .”
“Nah get that it’s ment to be really good .Her old one is good that she sent in the PR package “
About hour and half went by and you where heading back to your house . You couldn’t help but turn your head and just stare at Lewis and how you got so lucky ..
God knows how you got this lucky
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mauvecherie-writes · 1 month
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filthy: l.hamilton.
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warning: 18+ mdni, extreme sexual content, slight dom!lewis, mating press, dirty talk, unprotected p in v.
notes: this gif set sent me and @hopefulromantic1 down a sinful path. our dark thoughts collided. Also I didn’t watch the episode lmao - a small section of this - paragraph 3 - is purely based on the gifs I’ve seen 😂. either way ennjjooyy 😘🤭.
I’m thinking about how you can’t get over just how buff Lewis got over the winter break. You love the way he just fills his t-shirts more, the way his thighs stretch the fabric of his pants - just how every inch of him seems to be bulging.
Just watching him do mundane things has you all hot and bothered. Like you’re in the living room watching his episode of DTS and you’re squirming in your seat as if he’s not somewhere in the house.
It’s the weirdest thing that sets you off. He’s by the track in his white tee, talking to the kids from Mission44 and he moves to clap his hands before swinging his arms. holy fuck. you’re creaming for your man.
You move so quickly off the sofa, you startle your sleepy boy Roscoe. You throw an apology to him before running to the security system and search the camera footage to see where he is.
He’s outside, fixing up the trampoline for the kids. You run to the backyard and for a moment you stop and just watch him. His arms flexing as he tightens the bolts on the legs.
When you catch his eye, he smiles at you. So bright and wide, his eyes crinkle in the corners and your heart beats faster causing you to blush.
“What’s up baby?” He asks you as he stands to his full height.
You don’t answer and in that moment Lewis sees the glint in your eye and he immediately knows where your heart is at. It makes him smirk.
“I have a problem.” You say as you tip-toe toward him.
“Tell me love.” He says, wiping his hands before taking your hand pulling you closer before he settles his large palms on your waist as yours wrap around his neck and you play with the strands at the back of his head.
“I see you on the show and you’re all buff and shit, muscles spilling out of your shirt and then I see you out here doing work.”
“Did that turn you on baby?” He licks his lips as he trails his hands down to your ass and cups your cheeks.
“Yeah.” You let out a breathless sigh as he massages your flesh.
“How do you want me to fix it sweetheart?”
You give an all knowing smile and next thing you know, he’s picking you up in his arms and running back into the house. You don’t even go all the way to the master bedroom.
He bulldozes his way into the guest bedroom downstairs and chucks you onto the bed like you weigh nothing before pulling at your clothes and barely stepping out of his before he’s back in between your legs.
“You’re so fucking wet. Did I really do that to you sweet girl?” He smiles as he stretches his knees apart - pushing yours further apart too.
“Yes!” You gasp as you arch forward trying to press your cunt against this dick. “I’m also ovulating so that could be it too.” You confess.
Lewis grunts at your words as he presses into you. Once your eyes roll, he doesn’t hold back. He’s fucking you so good that you’re screaming and trying to run away from him. He’s deep in your guts as you struggle for words.
His shoulders and chest are folding you and pressing into you as you struggle for air.
“It’s t- too much baby.” You hiccup as his skin slaps against the back of thighs. His mark was all over your body despite the way that he has you folded. The contact bites at your skin from the ferocity of his thrusts.
He’s fucking you into the bed and crushing you until you’re gasping for air and he laughs at you - mocking you for how much you said you could take him but you’re clearly having trouble doing so.
You keep trying to run away.
You try to beg but he’s not having it, the laughter is gone from his voice - he’s serious again. Your legs are back on his shoulders and he’s got you in a mating press as he fucks you harder and harder into the bed.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going huh?” He hisses in your ear as he thrusts until you. “I’m fixing your problem aren’t I? This is what you wanted. Why you running?” He taunts you.
You cry louder as tears trail down your cheeks and settle into the crooks of your neck.
“This is what you wanted. Fucking take it!” He growls. “Take this fucking dick, it’s yours.”
ru’s letters 💌: I’m ending it here. Let your imagination run 😝😌
tags: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @lewisinlace @emjayewrites @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @chaneajoyyy @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @felicity-x0 @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy
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lorarri · 4 months
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꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ─ 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒 ˚₊· ꒱꒱
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─ summary . . . ❨ being forced to go to a gp was not something on Y/N's 2023 bingo card but who knows maybe she will create a friendships that could help her thought this tough time ❩  ─ pairing . . . ❨ step dad! lewis hamilton x fem! young teen! reader ❩ ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩ ─ author note . . . ❨ the plot thickens also yes I did make danny a redbull driver in this universe cuz I can and I'm 100% on the danny rbr agenda rn anyway so enjoy! ❩
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❨ previous | taglist | masterlist | next ❩
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MOTHER Lewis has got us VIP tickets to the Australian gp Isn't that exciting!
Y/N but I have an archery comp on that weekend
MOTHER dw about it I've pulled you from the comp you can do the next
Y/N are you fucking kidding me you pulled me from a comp to go watch you boyfriend's race what the fuck?!?!?!
MOTHER language young lady first of all he my fiance and he is gonna be your step father soon
Y/N he is not gonna be my anything as far as I'm concerned and the only way I am going is if you drag me there kicking and screaming so fuck you
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MINJI babe where is u at?
Y/N @ the Aussie Gp 💀 ... girl don't u remember me telling you guys about this 🙄
HANNI We do but your mom just called asking if we knew where you were 😭😭
Y/N wtf would you guys know where I am 😐
DANIELLE cuz aparently she can't find you and she thinks you are trying to catch a flight out of the country to avoid spending time with her and lewis 🫣
Y/N tf is this bitch on? I would never put that much effort into her let that be know first and for most 😝 second of all I'm hanging out with Max and Daniel 😌 so dw I'm not trynna skip town 😔
HAERIN Max and Daniel? as in like Red Bull's drivers Max and Daniel as in like Mad Max 😡 and big dick Danny ric 🤠
Y/N ew 🤢🤢🤮🤮 never say that again 🚫 but yes that would be them 👍
MINJI ... proof or it never happened 👀
Y/N
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happy now?
HANNI okay but how did you even meet?
Y/N walked off to have a smoke and ran into them and started talking
DANIELLE ain't your mom gonna be pissed though?
Y/N why?
HAERIN cuz your created a better bond with Max and Daniel then what you have with Lewis
Y/N tbh I don't really fucking care Lewis seems like an alright guy ngl but I don't like how my mother is forcing me to spend time with him it's awkward and weird escpially since my dad is refusing to answer my calls or texts and everytime a ask my mother about it she says "maybe he is busy sweetheart" and "well look at it this way it will be the perfect opportunity to bond with Lewis" so yeah I have 0 shits to give rn anyway I need to go time for the race max says I can watch in the red bull garage
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NANA (EX WIFE) my plan isn't working I thought by forcing you to stay away Y/N and Lewis could bond but I think she hates him more now
JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) no shit sherlock btw I'm coming to pick Y/N up this weekend she staying at my house till she has to go back to school
NANA (EX WIFE) is that bitch gonna be there?
JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) yes my girlfriend is going to be there and I am going to show you the correct way of introducing your kid to your new partner and that starts by telling them the truth about why you marriage ended in the first place and since you refuse to tell her I will read
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pucksandpower · 21 days
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Of Roomates and Revenge
Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader
Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg
Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so
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Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink
I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.
The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.
In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.
The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.
Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.
Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
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Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox
I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.
What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.
Duties would include:
Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water
Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)
Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)
In return, you’d get:
A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)
Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry
Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)
First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make
The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.
Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.
No scammy offers or soliciting, please!
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Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)
Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink
Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!
I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.
What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.
You’ll get:
Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district
Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment
Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas
As much wine as you can drink (and more)
In exchange, you’ll be expected to:
Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement
Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”
Refill wine glasses as needed
Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it
The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.
You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.
If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!
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Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:
Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)
Compensation: €400 per event
Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.
A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.
Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:
Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike
Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)
Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits
Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose
We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.
Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.
If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!
No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.
P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)
Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)
Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations
I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...
I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.
I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.
That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your main duties would include:
Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment
Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)
Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc
Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.
In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.
Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.
If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.
I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.
No weirdos please.
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Hi,
Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.
I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).
A little about my qualifications:
Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics
Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄
Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway
Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)
No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry
In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.
Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!
I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!
Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.
Cheers,
Y/N
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 16h
My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!
I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.
A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.
This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:
“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”
Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.
Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.
I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.
My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.
I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.
I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.
Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.
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u/chronicgossiper · 12h
Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h
Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.
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u/chronicgossiper · 10h
Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h
Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.
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u/nosyandproud · 8h
Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?
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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h
He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h
So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h
It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h
Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.
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u/nosyandproud · 3h
Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h
Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h
This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!
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u/NotBritneySpears
Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m
Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.
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r/relationships
u/yourusername · 19h
I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?
Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.
About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.
Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.
From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.
But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.
I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?
In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.
Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?
Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.
Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!
The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.
Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!
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u/judgingloudly · 18h
Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!
If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!
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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h
I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!
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u/livefordrama · 16h
I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …
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u/yourusername · 15h
Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!
As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!
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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h
Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.
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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h
Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!
Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.
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u/everydayopportunist · 12h
This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂
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u/devilsadvocate · 11h
I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.
My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!
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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h
I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.
The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 15h
AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?
I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...
A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.
She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.
Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.
But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.
Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”
I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”
I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.
The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.
It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.
After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.
But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?
I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?
Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?
I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.
Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.
But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.
Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?
Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?
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u/juryofone · 14h
YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.
Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.
The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.
My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h
I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h
Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!
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u/neutralpartier · 11h
NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.
The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.
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u/glasshalfempty · 10h
ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.
My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h
This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h
Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.
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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h
I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h
I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.
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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h
Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h
Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 8h
UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!
When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.
Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.
Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...
After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.
So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.
But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.
I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.
When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?
“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”
It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.
The limbo period was … not fun.
After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.
So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.
That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.
And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?
Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.
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u/juryofone · 7h
Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.
But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!
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u/neutralpartier · 7h
I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.
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u/glasshalffull · 6h
As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.
I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!
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u/romanticempath · 5h
What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.
I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!
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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h
I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?
Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!
All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!
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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h
“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 21h
My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)
You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.
A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.
Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!
Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.
On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.
Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.
Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.
The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.
So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!
In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.
Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.
But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.
Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.
I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.
So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.
I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.
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u/chronicgossiper · 18h
Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.
Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.
As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.
At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h
I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.
They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h
Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h
Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.
Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.
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u/nosyandproud · 10h
The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.
That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.
At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.
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u/realitychecker · 7h
OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:
“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”
Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!
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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h
Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”
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u/buildingbridges
OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.
My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...
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r/ask
u/amateurdetective · 15h
I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code
I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.
So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.
Hear me out:
First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.
Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.
But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.
Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.
The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.
I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:
Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal
The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it
Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy
After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real
Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises
Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!
I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.
Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.
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u/scepeticbynature · 14h
Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.
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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h
Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.
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u/amateurdetective · 10h
I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:
A pair of feuding former childhood best friends
One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge
Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties
The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed
Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h
Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!
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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h
Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.
I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.
But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!
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u/amateurdetective · 6h
THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.
Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.
That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h
All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄
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