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destourtereaux · 9 months

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just a little bit of hope - peeta mellark x fem!reader

⤷ summary: with katniss and gale both gone, peeta steps in as an unlikely hunting partner for y/n. ⤷ wc: 2.6k ⤷ requested? yes. see request here. ⤷ follow @lovebirdupdates and turn on notifs to be on my 'taglist'!

⤷ a/n: two things - one, peeta has dimples here, it's just how i imagine him, so please bear with me; two, pretend gale's father is alive please, i didn't think our girl would be able to support two families, no matter how strong she is.

___

The day is horridly warm, exacerbated by a heavy humidity. As you wake, hot air suffocates your surroundings, and the sun glares through the window, hung on a span of blue sky. Pushing yourself up on your elbows, your bare feet find the ground, then immediately retract. The floor is burning hot, baked by the sun. You grit your teeth and force your feet back onto the wood, ignoring the searing heat. You have things to do.

You make a bowl of porridge, watery, but edible. You drink half, and leave the rest for your mother. Your father is off to the mines already, his boots absent. You get dressed, pulling on the prettiest dress you own. You're ready. Or, as ready as one can be.

Today, there will be no hunting with Katniss and Gale, no trading at the Hob. Today, there is only the reaping.

___

You spot Katniss at the edge of the square, gripping her sister's hand. Your friend looks nothing like she normally does. Gone are the boots and hunting jacket, replaced by a simple blouse tucked into a modest skirt. You nod grimly at her; neither of you feels like smiling.

Gale is over on the other side of the square, across from the stage they've set up. Your eyes meet, and he mouths "good luck".

After a few minutes of the routine announcements, Haymitch is introduced, then Effie. By now, the crowd has settled into an air of grimness, despite the clear blue sky overhead.

You don't hear Effie's jokes, and nobody laughs. She finally stops smiling, looking extremely awkward – you almost feel bad for her. Almost.

Then, she sticks her hand in the ball of names, each carrying a life, and pulls one out. Her smile is back on her face when she announces, "Without further ado, our female tribute is: Katniss Everdeen!"

You freeze, repeating her words in your head as if hoping they'd sound different. Your oldest friend – determined, brave Katniss, given a death sentence.

But Effie doesn't wait. Her next words are just as devastating. "And for our male tribute: Gale Hawthorne! Come on up now, dear, don't be shy."

Peacekeepers erupt through the crowd, grabbing your two best friends in the entire world by the shoulders, and forcing them up to the stage. Katniss whips her head around, looking at you with pleading eyes. You know what she's asking for.

"I'll take care of her, Katniss. I won't let her die. And you can't let yourself die, okay? Promise me. Katniss! Promise me!"

Your last words are hysterical, but ironically, Katniss is not. Having heard your commitment to Prim, she is satisfied. She yanks her arms free of the Peacekeepers and walks by herself, her head held high and her face serene.

You grab Prim's hand. Her whole body is shaking, wracked with sobs. You don't hear Effie's last words, but you know what they are.

"May the odds be ever in your favor."

___

It's been two weeks since the reaping which stole your best friends. It's shocking how quickly you fell back into routine, as if nothing has even changed. The only indicator of their absence is an added part of your day: splitting your earnings between your family and Prim's.

There are now double the mouths to feed, so you spend double the hours in the forest hunting. Villagers are sympathetic – that may be the only reason you're all still alive. They love Prim, and they trust you. Everything you hunt manages to be traded.

But still, you're cracking. It's just too much, and you don't know if it'll ever get better. You have no idea what Katniss and Gale are going through right now, and you don't let yourself think of them. It would break your heart.

___

Peeta Mellark has always been observant. His teachers told his parents this, back when he was a child. It's this trait that makes him notice you. The girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, killing herself day after day to provide for not one, but two whole families.

He doesn't understand how no one else sees it. But maybe they do – it's just that no one in District 12 is really in a position to do anything about it. Still, the fact remains that you're close to breaking. You can't keep doing this alone.

Peeta Mellark has never been brave. His mother yells at him, beats him, and he takes it. He has never talked back to teachers, or dared disobey the Peacekeepers. So when he offers to hunt with you, he surprises even himself.

"What?"

"I'm Peeta Mellark. We were in the same class, and my parents run the bakery. I was wondering if I'd be able to hunt with you?"

So you weren't hallucinating. The baker's son – a boy you didn't think could kill a fly – had just asked to hunt with you. Your shock translates into a small laugh, not that anything about the situation is funny, really. Hurt flashes in Peeta's eyes, and you quickly backtrack.

"I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm Y/N L/N, I know who you are. I just didn't think you'd be the hunting type," you explain. Because you're gentle, and kind, and I've never seen you hurt anyone, with your words or physically. But you don't add that last part.

"I've only ever hunted with Katniss and Gale, you must know them, they were reaped this year." Your voice cracks a bit with those last words, and Peeta acknowledges the fact with a nod. His hand twitches; he wants to pat you on the back, or grip your shoulder, anything to stop the melancholy leaking into your eyes, but he doesn't.

"But you're welcome to join me," you end with a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.

___

The new partnership starts early the following day. You meet a groggy Peeta near his home, and the two of you begin the walk to the Meadow.

You hear no electrical hum from the fencing, which means it's safe to touch, and you guide Peeta across the boundary which separates the Seam from the forest. This is all illegal, you know, but you're too used to it to even notice. Peeta, on the other hand, feels an exhilarating sense of rebellion as he crosses the barbed wire, following your figure into the woods.

"You've never hunted before, have you?" you probe, although it's more of a confirmation than an actual question.

Peeta nods. "But I'm a quick learner. And I won't get in your way, I promise."

You smile, a genuine one this time. "We'll see about that, Mellark."

Over the next hour, you go over all the traps you had set from the day before, collecting from Katniss and Gale's traps as well. True to his word, Peeta picks it up quickly, and even has a great eye for camouflaging the traps. This becomes his task, using grass and twigs and flowers as his medium, painting a deceptive scene which looks safe and welcoming to the many squirrels and rabbits in these parts.

You also start him on foraging. Only one type of berry is poisonous in the Meadow, and it's easy to identify. You make sure he's clear on which to avoid, and leave him to it, while you head to the hollowed out tree where you've hidden your knives. The familiar sight of Katniss' bow and arrows within the trunk brings a pang in your heart. You leave them nestled within and retrieve only your daggers. You were never a good archer.

Another hour passes, and you return to Peeta with a deer. You're happier than you have been in weeks – this will be enough for almost a week's worth of food. Peeta is not empty-handed either, he has two buckets of progress, one filled with strawberries, the other with raspberries. He gives you a soft smile – he has dimples, you think. He then immediately turns a faint shade of green, having noticed the dead deer.

You're seized with the desire to laugh, "Why'd you offer to hunt with me if you get queasy from the sight of game?"

He looks at you with an indignant pout, and you can't stop the giggle that tumbles out, then the full on laughter.

"I'm not like this with all game, just, you know, the larger animals. I can look at dead squirrels just fine – stop laughing!"

Making your way back, within the District, you stop just outside of the fence to split your gatherings.

"Take the squirrels and rabbits, and the bucket of raspberries. I'll keep the deer and trade the strawberries with the mayor," you offer.

"No, you take it all," he crosses the barrier carrying the buckets, and you follow after him, shaking your head.

"I can't, Peeta. That wouldn't be right. This is a fair split."

"I never said I wanted to keep what we hunt. Only that I wanted to hunt with you, Y/N. Take it. I know you need it more than I do. I'll see you next weekend?"

And with that, he pops a strawberry in his mouth, smiling at the sweetness, and walks away.

You're left with your mouth open, unable to process what had just happened.

___

The next morning, you show up at the bakery. His bakery. You earned a few dollars from selling your strawberries to the mayor, and you figure that if Peeta won't take anything, you should buy from him instead.

A few dollars is enough for two loaves of good bread, and so you head to the bread aisle. But your gaze catches on the beautiful cakes on display, decorated with multi-colored icing and swirling script written in melted chocolate.

"I did those," comes a voice from behind you.

Whipping your head around, you see Peeta himself, looking at the cakes with fondness and a bit of pride.

"You did what?"

"The cakes. I decorated them. My mom bakes, but I decorate. I like doing it – it's like painting, just on a different canvas."

"They're really lovely. You have a talent for it," you confirm, "I bet that's why you were so good at hiding traps yesterday. You can see nature's patterns."

He gives you a soft smile in return, and you can see the dimples again. They're adorable, you think. I want to see them every day.

He gives a small cough, looking at you questioningly.

You startle, and blush a deep crimson. "Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I'm here to buy bread. Two loaves," you say as you lower your head to stare down at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes.

It's only when you hear a chuckle that you lift your head back up. Peeta's eyes are sparkling, and his dimples are clear as ever.

"I'll give you three."

___

Two months after the reaping, your partnership with Peeta is still going strong. Every Saturday, the two of you head to the woods, and spend half the day fishing, gathering, and hunting. Originally silent company has evolved into true friendship, with witty banter, fleeting touches, and shared smiles.

You have come to know Peeta Mellark. He isn't just the baker's son, the one who decorates cakes and hates seeing dead animals. He's the boy who saved you, when no one even knew that you needed saving.

Day after day, he has shown up, offering kindness, companionship, and warmth, without expecting anything in return. You care about him more than you thought you could ever care about someone who wasn't family. You care about his messy blond hair, and you care about his broad shoulders. You care about his blue eyes which sparkle when he tells a joke, and his beautiful heart which leads him to give the occasional customer an extra free loaf. Most of all, you care about his dimples, which come out when he smiles at you. You care so much about him, that it scares you.

And Peeta cares about you. He cares about your hands, calloused but nimble, lethal when holding onto your twin daggers. He cares about your face, how it glows when you laugh at his jokes in the woods, but dims a bit when you're back in the district. He cares about your hair, always tied in a ponytail when in the Meadow, but left to flow freely down your shoulders when hunting's over. Most of all, he cares about your smile, which comes out when Prim thanks you week after week for your help, and forces you to take bottles of goat milk and pet Buttercup. He cares so much about you, that it scares him.

___

This hunting day, Peeta comes with news from the Capitol. A few weeks back, he started giving you updates on the Games, after you told him that you couldn't stomach the thought of watching your friends fight to the death.

"Y/N! Good news!" he greets, exiting the bakery. As the two of you begin your walk, he adds, "I'll tell you when we get to the Meadow."

"You're insufferable, Mellark. You can't just hook me like that, and not tell me what it is."

Peeta doesn't answer, so you start walking twice as fast, ushering him toward the edge of the Seam so you could figure out what exactly he wanted to tell you.

Once in the grassy plains of the Meadow, between the forest and the fence, you turn back to the boy, the impatience evident in your face.

"Tell me, Peeta, or I swear I'll –"

"Alright, alright," he laughs, "but it's not really good news, per se. It's just a little bit of hope."

You nod, urging him to continue.

"It's about the Games. About Katniss and Gale."

The last traces of your smile fade. Concern is etched onto your face, and your eyebrows scrunch up, your jaw tightens.

Noticing this, Peeta pulls you in by the waist, so that your head lands on his shoulder. "It's good news, Y/N. Don't look so defeated. They're both still alive, and they're fighting."

"But at least one of them won't be coming back," you whisper into his neck, so quietly you wonder if he even heard. But Peeta always hears you.

"Y/N. That's the news. They could both come back. Caesar Flickerman has just announced that they will be changing the rules this year – allowing two victors of the Games, provided they're tributes from the same district!"

You look up at him in awe. A change to the Games. Katniss and Gale, not one or the other. Both could win. Both could come back.

You choke down a sob, staring at Peeta's brilliant smile and those mesmerizing dimples. And before you can process what you're doing, you wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his in a bout of bravery.

Peeta's frozen for a second, before he begins to reciprocate the kiss in earnest. He pulls you in, one hand holding your neck and the other wrapped around your torso, pressing himself impossibly closer. He tastes like icing and strawberries, and you can smell the comforting scent of warm bread.

The kiss ends far too quickly for your liking, and you're suddenly impossibly shy, all bravado gone. You lower your eyes so you won't have to meet his eyes, but realize that you're practically sitting on his lap, having moved there at some point during the kiss. This observation brings a flaming blush onto your cheeks, and you scramble to move away, but you're held in place by Peeta's arms, forming an iron-tight cage around your figure.

He brings a hand to your chin, lifting it up, and kisses you again, more gently this time.

"Don't go all shy on me now, Y/L/N," he teases, and holds the back of his hand against your forehead, as if feeling for a fever. "You're burning up, darling."

"You know damn well that's not a fever–", you start, but you're cut off by his laughter, and once again distracted by those dimples of his.

Maybe Peeta was right. Maybe there is just a little bit of hope left for you.

___

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shaisuki · 9 months

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“suguru...”

the name came out of the blue. your eyes closed and your head slumped to his chest. you're wasted. barely making coherent words but the the name came in perfect. he supports you with his arms. saving you from the demise of falling face first. he hears a sniffle then it was followed by burst of tears in your eyes. looking at him in a haze where you began to grab his cheeks. your body sways and he steadies you in his strong arms.

"careful." he mumbles and then you're out of cold. he smiles at your drunk form. scooping you in his arms and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"let's get you home." he says before walking towards the exit.

he gently place you in the bed. removing your coat and placing it in the chair before your shoes followed suit. he runs cold water in a small towel.

he looks at your sleeping form. how much did you change in the last years? you're not your old self anymore but your soft features remains. the dimple in your cheek where it sinks when you smile. he missed you smiling.

he sits down in your bed. the mattress dips from his added weight. wipes the sweat in your forehead, the dried tears in your cherubic cheeks and the stain of booze in the corners of your mouth.

he wasn't doing good in cleaning you up. taking care of someone. his lips forms into a thin line. you look so peaceful in your sleep and it's been a long time since he had seen you so serene, calm like you didn't carry the burden of your world.

gojo couldn't help but to bitterly smile at the name you were calling earlier. there's no way you could have mistaken him for another but with the influence of the alcohol. he understands.

he can't speak of it no more. it seems taboo. one could be cursed when he speaks the name of his deceased friend. your lover. he didn't look like suguru a bit. they were like day and night. the sun and moon.

he don't have suguru's hair. no ounce of coal-colored strands in his hair. it's white. snow white. no purples in his eyes instead he have the deep cerulean eyes of his whole holds the strongest power in the universe.

you shift in your sleep and gojo looks at you. sees a tear falls out in your eyes and he catches it with his index finger. it must have been so hard for you. to lost your other half who loves you truly.

you're good at hiding your sadness. your frustration, the disappointment of not being able to protect who you deeply loved.

then gojo realizes. you've been holding it for too long. gojo could applaud for how good you are at hiding it. the smiles you give to others but it doesn't reach your eyes. the abuse of body. empty wrappers of fast food flowing out of your trash bin. drown yourself in the pleasure of alcohol. a temporary escape for everything.

the suicide missions. where he finds you lying on shoko's table or a frantic call from ijichi.

you hadn't moved on. drowning yourself in work and the feelings still unreciprocated. gojo said he'll wait for you. mend the broken pieces of your heart but can it be mended when it's long gone?

he finds himself taking care of you. a feat he never bothered with anyone. he gazes at you. the years piling up on you.

"what have you done, suguru." he badly wants to ask his friend who left you.

he grabs your hand in his. feel the softness of your hand in his roughed hands. it's warm. you were the breath of life in suguru's. he remembers the nights with drinks in their hands. suguru would talk about you fondly. a new kind of smile in suguru's face with your name in his lips.

now, it was left of unshed tears. the words you could never say in your right mind. it hurts. it hurts everywhere.

gojo shouldn't be affected by this. he got things to worry about but when he sees you. it's a reminder he still have you and it's not the end of suguru's absence.

"fuck you, suguru."

time couldn't heal the damage that had been done. it will haunt him and you with the ghosts of the past.

your eyes flutters open, you find gojo holding your hand.

"i'm sorry, satoru. i shouldn't have dragged you into this." the tears streaming down in your cheeks.

he kisses your knuckles, wipes the tears in your cheeks and he leans forward. kissing your forehead.

"it's not your fault, (y/n)." he assures you. his face softening while gazing at you. it's not your fault. you learned to love and suguru returned it.

he says, love is most twisted curse of all. you cursed yourself with it for suguru. he finally understands why he didn't cursed suguru at the end but he don't have an explanation for it.

for the strongest like him, he exorcised the toughest curses and humans alike and yet, he couldn't shield himself from cursing himself to you.

if loving you is being cursed, then so be it. he don't care even it lasts for a lifetime.

#— 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 #— 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈'𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐒 #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader #jjk x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x chubby reader #gojo satoru drabble #gojo satoru x reader #jjk angst #chubby reader #chubby reader angst

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cho-aaacho · 3 months

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—Sunrise Swish

Masterlist

Tags : Love Bites, Biting, Licking, Kissing, French Kissing, Touching, Fingering, Rainy Day, Living Together, Soft Gojo Satoru.

Summary : Satoru always knew how to make you recall every touch under his fingertips, making you moan his name out of intense delight. Each of his kisses carried the sweetness of sugary marshmallows. Isn't it simply charming?

"Raining..."

"Yeah, quite annoying, isn't it? We had plans for a nice picnic today. Unfortunately, we can't control the weather."

Satoru's approaching, his voice blending with the falling raindrops. There is still a romantic connection between you and him, and you can still feel his warmth in the atmosphere.

You gaze into his eyes, azure, your favorite color since you knew him. Although you are trying to find something delightful in him, you are always falling for his eyes. How could it be so attractive in a very dangerous way? It's so unfair.

You are following his gesture carefully, trying to draw him closer, trying to trap him in your universe. A smile curls on his lips as he glides closer.

"I'm not annoyed; I'm just disappointed." You replied.

"Oh, come on... it's not like the world is over. I'm still here, you know."

He studies your features, then shifts his gaze to the table where two cups of hot chocolate sit. With gentle hums, he carefully sits down, draping a thin blanket over your body. He is hinting that he wants to make you comfortable.

Today is your day off, and it should be his too, but as he mentioned earlier, he can't change the weather, and the rain is so heavy outside.

It annoys you because you crave so much quality time with your dear boyfriend, and today is the only opportunity to cherish romantic moments together. His job is always hard, and sometimes you are frustrated when you can't help Satoru.

But seeing Satoru's calmness and tender smile softens your anger, and you hesitate to disrupt his serenity. You don't want to ruin his realm.

A sigh of boredom floats in the air as you let Satoru nestle against your shoulder, wrapping himself in a blue blanket while still humming a sweet romantic song.

Why is he so calm and relaxed?

He's even gentler than usual. Could it be that he's happy because he couldn't go out with you? But... Satoru isn't that bad. You understand him well.

"Looks like someone is happy because he can't go out, huh?"

"Eh?" He moved away from your shoulder and looked at you in surprise. You could see your reflection in his azure eyes, awaiting your sweet reply.

"No. I mean... I'm just trying to be cheerful in front of you; I don't want to let you down!"

"But... still, I'm sad because I can't go out with you, Satoru-kun."

As you expected, Satoru would say something like this. Because he has never said anything negative when it's about you, he always attempts to hide his feelings, and sometimes you can't always see his true colors.

Where is his red? Is he always covered in blue? Maybe... purple? You never knew. Because everything he shows you is always a bright color. The hues are made in heaven.

"Oh... my dear, I'm so sorry."

You grabbed your phone, hoping to lift your spirits by reading some tweets. Perhaps these could help you escape your negative mood. Satoru is still there too.

And then you find something funny between the tweets. A smile curls on your face as you read those tweets because they were so accurate for your situation.

You show your phone to Satoru, making light from the phone caress his pretty face, and carefully add some humor to your voice.

"Hey, take a look at this. Someone had tweeted this. They said, What will you do in the rain with your partner? It sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it?"

A giggle escapes Satoru's lips; he strokes his chin, and with a mischievous grin, his gaze falls at you. "Hmm, perhaps... I'd do something like this."

He drew near and embraced your soul, unveiling your shadow in his azure eyes. The way he breathes and the way he is touching his lips on yours are melting you in every way.

He delicately grazed your face, touching your cheeks with his palm and whispering love lines between kisses. You already know who is in charge now.

Satoru.

Warmth wrapped you in its love, creating the sensation of tenderness. His lips feel so different this time. There is a sweetness and gentleness left in them.

With closed eyes, his tongue were already playing their games. Tasting chocolate and the sweetness of marshmallows against your mouth.

You could taste the sugary marshmallow or the sweetness of chocolate mixed in your mouth, sharing a sensual dance between your tongue and his. Dominating, like a romantic dance between lovers.

Your gaze wanders, scanning him, trying to find any clue in his eyes. But no matter how you try, all you can see are his eyes gazing at you. A canvases blue sky.

Satoru, almost in disbelief, but charmed by your expression. A flush of red graces your features, resembling sweet cherry blossoms blushing in the wake of that kiss.

He groaned while playfully nipping at your earlobe. "I know, baby, I know. I'm right here; just breathe."

"It's alright. I'll stop if you're not in the mood." He whispered, and it almost sounded like a love confession to your ears.

but... you just nodded.

He sealed a kiss on your neck, counting every pore on your skin with his textured lips, exploring each contour with a hint of aggression, and teasing every spot of your sweet skin.

Relentless passion.

Sweet bites.

Slow motion.

Sensual licking.

Repeating.

Squeezing.

Foggy eyes.

Deep breathing.

Resonating sigh.

Weak moan.

Crimson cheeks.

Wet lips.

Eyes shut, biting lips. Every move and every bite makes your knees weak. You playfully whined in response, squeezing his biceps, pretending for resistance.

But... Satoru already knows every spot of your vulnerabilities; he knows each spot that could make you moan his name.

With seductive movement, he glided his fingers between your thighs. Exploring your weak spot relentlessly, rubbing your panties in gently. After enjoying the view, he slipped his finger inside your panties eager to feel how aroused you had become.

Satoru delicately slid his finger inside you, making your head arch in response. All of these transform into ecstasy. And. Honestly. It feels so good. You couldn't help but whisper his name.

He moves his finger slowly and gently; he doesn't want you to get hurt or uncomfortable. Until he finds your most sensitive spot, the sweetest area of your being.

"Are you alright?" Satoru inquired, his gaze revealing concern. "You seem to be grappling with something."

"Oh... I'm okay, Satoru-kun. It's just... I can't shake this feeling. I'm afraid if someone catches us making out on the balcony."

"No. They won't," he assured.

Then, a soft breath carried his whispered words to your ear: "I want to mark you as mine."

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen

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talesofesther · 1 year

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serenity haze

Jenna Ortega x Reader

Summary: You notice the changes in Jenna in the lines that you draw; the sketches of her in your sketchbook have more lines to them, creases in her eyebrows, and shadows below her eyes. Your heart clenches painfully whenever you look at a finished piece you did of her.

Requested by anon

A/N: First time writing for her so don't crucify me pls. I still feel a tad bit weird writing about real people, but I see my Jenna as a character in a story, that's all. Hope you can enjoy this one, let me know your thoughts. Requests are always open, though be aware that I go where my inspiration takes me, and be mindful of my guidelines.

Masterlist

You were naturally observant, it was a habit that came with a hobby.

You liked to draw things, and to be able to draw them, you had to observe.

Because you're observant, you tend to notice patterns, details, and moments that might go unnoticed by most.

Lately, you found yourself drawing one thing in particular — or better, one person.

Jenna Ortega captivated you, anyone who met her would probably say the same. She is captivating after all. Yet you know your feelings are different, because you see a side of her that few people do.

You had been offered a role in the new Wednesday show, it was a smaller one, but a privilege nonetheless. And this role gave you the opportunity to meet Jenna.

After the first month of working together, it was already known on set that; where you went, Jenna wasn't too far behind.

You'd catch yourself searching for her in the crowds most days, her favorite coffee order in hand. She'd greet you with a warm smile that never failed and a hug that lasted a little too long. Jenna was sunshine if sunshine could be a person, she was the most genuine girl you knew; beautiful inside and out.

It was inevitable that she became your muse.

Unbeknownst to you — and maybe even to herself — Jenna felt drawn to you too. You were quietness, you were calmness, you were the steadiness she craved in her hectic life.

Jenna had no obligations with you, no expectations to meet; she could be herself, on good or bad days, and you'd still be there. She didn't know how much she needed something like that until she finally got it.

In some ways, it felt like you were her breath of fresh air whenever she needed one. Which seems to be happening quite often nowadays.

Whilst everyone was running around on set, cameras on every corner of the room, and people talking incessantly in their intercoms, Jenna was speaking with Tim about an upcoming scene in the show. She leaned back on what was one of the booths in the Weathervane cafe, crossing her arms over her chest and nodding along to his words.

He spoke about the dance, and Jenna confirmed she had almost all the choreography done already. Except she didn't.

What she had, were sleepless nights weighing down on her shoulders.

She tried to take a deep breath to calm her nerves, but it didn't do much. Her gaze skimmed over the room against her own volition, finding you sitting in a corner of the set — on the floor no less — sketchbook in hands.

Jenna felt the overwhelming urge to escape to your world.

Dark lines steadily appeared on the paper along with the drag of your pencil. You bit into your lower lip, a habit of concentration, and glanced up at Jenna; only to notice her eyes already on you.

The heat that came to your cheeks was instant and you gave her a sheepish smile. She caught you red-handed. Hopefully, she wouldn't bring it up.

Because, how could you resist? When Jenna is standing there against the sun, golden rays highlighting all her features for you; from the curve of her lips, to the tip of her nose, to the shape of her eyebrows. Flawless.

You couldn't resist taking out your book and drawing a quick sketch of her. Sometimes for you, watching people from afar was much better than seeing them up close, you could capture their essence fully, notice each little quirk or mannerism.

Take Jenna for example; her thumbs brush the fabric of her Nevermore uniform as she speaks with Tim, she's nodding eagerly to everything he says, not able to stay still on her feet. She's a little nervous, a little anxious. You could tell from the other side of the room.

It's no secret that filming this series is taking a toll on Jenna — your pencil traces the outline of her jaw on your sketchbook before you move to her eyes, and around them, you see yourself being forced to add just a tad more shadow; it's been happening for a while — you see her exhaustion in the lines that you draw.

The rough image of her stared back at you from your sketchbook, and part of you wanted to take her hand and go away for a day or two.

There's a sudden presence beside you that makes you flinch back to reality. Jenna sat down on the floor with you; she rests her head back against the wall, a lazy smile tugging at her lips.

She brought her knees closer to her chest, making herself look smaller than she already is. Turning to look at you, all she asked was; "what are you drawing?"

There's always a silent understanding between you both. You bumped her shoulder with yours, "that's confidential information."

And she actually pouts, lower lip jutted out and big doe eyes pleading at you; "even for me?"

"Especially for you," you mumbled, not sure if she heard or not.

Jenna doesn't inquire further, forever reciprocating the serenity you bring to her life. She slumped closer to you, allowing her head to fall on your shoulder, blindly trusting you to hold her weight if so needed.

You placed your sketchbook aside, focusing solemnly on her. Your cast and crew mates are still walking around, no one spares a glance at the two actresses who sit on the floor of Jericho's cafe; it feels like your own little bubble of peace for a precious minute.

"Were you and Tim discussing a new scene?" You asked eventually, gently leaning your head on top of hers.

Jenna hummed, "it's a dance that will happen at the school party, I'm creating Wednesday's choreography."

"That's exciting, do you have anything already?"

"Not really. I've got two weeks."

The turmoil of emotions was so evident in Jenna's tight voice that you almost pulled away so you could look her in the eyes and tell her… you're not sure what you'd say, but something to ease it.

Yet you held back, choosing instead to take her hand and whisper 'you got this' against her hair.

———

Things only got worse after your little moment.

Jenna has been on autopilot. You doubt she's sleeping, or resting at all. She's always the first one to arrive on set and the last one to leave.

The sketches of her in your sketchbook have more lines to them, creases in her eyebrows, and shadows below her eyes. Your heart clenches painfully whenever you look at a finished piece you did of her.

It was a Saturday night, you sat on the roof of your trailer, enjoying the starry sky above you, the cold breeze around you. With the flashlight of your cellphone on, you turned the pages of your sketchbook, reminiscing the drawings of last week; until a rather loud noise caught your attention.

You looked around you with a confused frown. The set's parking lot was empty, with only a few street lamps on, and no one in sight.

This could be a cliche horror movie scene. You could feel a chill running down your back; but then you caught sight of Jenna's trailer, the lights were on.

Checking your phone, you realized you had been sitting outside for longer than you thought. 1:37 AM.

Not giving yourself much room to chicken out, you hopped down from your trailer, stuffed your sketchbook in your pants pocket, and walked up to her door.

You hesitated, awkwardly hovering outside Jenna's trailer in the dead of night. Your stomach was twisting and turning unpleasantly. Coming from inside, you could hear the faint melody of 'Goo Goo Muck' playing.

Your worry got the best of you. Taking a deep breath, you raised your fist to the door, and knocked.

The music stopped abruptly, and you heard shuffling from inside her trailer. And then nothing, the silence stretched for a few good seconds, before her door finally swung open.

Jenna stood in front of you and got your heart shattering a little. She was a bit of a mess; hair up in a disheveled bun, only in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants yet you could see her forehead glistening with sweat, her lips quivered softly with each breath she took, and you could tell her eyes were red-rimmed if you looked closely.

"Hi Jenna," you started with a timid smile, "uh- I'm sorry to bother, it's just, I was out and I saw your lights on and just wanted to ask if everything's okay."

Jenna gulped down the lump in her throat, fidgeting with the sleeves of her hoodie; "yeah it's fine, I'm fine." She tried mimicking your smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Okay," you whispered sympathetically, seeing right through the lie.

"Um-" Jenna cleared her throat, but it sounded more like a soft sob. She avoided meeting your eyes then. "Would you- would you like to come in?"

It was a plea more than anything else. You didn't hesitate in saying yes.

You closed the door behind you and glanced around her trailer; she had her laptop on her bed, YouTube page opened to The Cramps' song; there was a stress ball rolling around on the floor, you figured that's where the loud noise from earlier came.

"I'm working on the dance," Jenna turned to you, threading her fingers through her fringe, restless.

"And how is it going?" You asked, though you had a feeling you knew the answer.

"I can't come up with anything," Jenna shrugged, chuckling humourlessly as her eyes welled up with tears.

Your heart was trying to escape your chest — Jenna's eyes were shining under the orange lights of the trailer, hands trembling as she tried to hold herself together — you took a step closer to her; "Jenna, I think you just need to let your mind rest for a while, have you-"

"I can't," she cut you off urgently, "the scene is one week away. One week. And I have nothing," tears started to roll down her cheeks, but you don't think she realized it.

Jenna started walking from one side to another of the small cramped space of her trailer, "I can't think of anything that would fit Wednesday, and we're shooting this scene next week. I told Tim I could handle it and yet I have nothing, what am I gonna tell him? That we're gonna have to postpone shooting because I can't come up with a fucking choreography?"

By the end of her rant, Jenna was panting heavily, borderline hyperventilating. Her tears came nonstop as sobs shook her body. She was hugging herself, chasing some type of comfort that wasn't there.

Your worry finally escaped you and you closed the distance between you both. You took her face in your hands, cupping her cheeks as your thumbs gingerly brushed away the wetness there; "Jen, look at me," you spoke softly, not missing the way her hands came to desperately grasp at your shirt, "breathe with me okay? Can you do that?"

A fresh batch of tears hit your thumbs and you felt your chest crack open; yet Jenna nodded, all reddish nose and glistening eyes.

You took a deep breath in, held it for a second, and then exhaled, watching closely for the way that she'd copy the motion. You did it a couple of times until her breathing was finally somewhat even.

"There you are," you mumbled, regarding her with a bittersweet smile when her eyes found yours, "you're okay," you promised, brushing away a few wisps of hair that clung to her skin.

A sob escaped Jenna's lips as soon as she heard the words, letting her forehead lean into yours in a silent request.

You gladly complied, raising your lips to place a kiss between her brows before guiding her head to rest on your shoulder. You embraced her body flush with yours, arms sliding around her back until you felt the curve of her spine. The thudding of her heart mingling with yours.

You could feel the gentle trembling of her body from time to time. It only made you hold her tighter.

Jenna had a death grip on you, your shirt bunched up on her fists as if you'd disappear if she let go. She buried her head on your shoulder, seeking a safe place, "I'm so tired," she spoke against you, words muffled.

"I know," you kissed her temple, "I know."

You're not sure if you held Jenna for five minutes or one hour, but you stood there for as long as she needed. And when she was ready to pull away, bright and puffy eyes timidly looking at you with nothing but gratitude, you didn't say anything; all you did was turn off her laptop and put it away for the night, dimming the lights on her trailer to give her body a much-needed break.

Then, you sat down beside her on her bed. There was a reasonable distance between you that she was quick to close, sitting shoulder to shoulder with you.

"Be honest with me now, have you been sleeping this past week, at all?" You raised a brow at her.

Jenna pursed her lips, in some ways resembling a child who'd been caught stealing from the cookie jar, "that obvious?" She asked, ducking her head to hide behind her fringe.

"Very," you smirked, "for me at least."

That got her looking up at you with tender curiosity, she was looking more like herself already.

With your heart in your mouth, you fished for your sketchbook in your pocket. You handed it to her without daring to breathe.

Jenna flipped through the pages as if they'd crumble between her fingers; carefully, reverently. You could hear the way her breath caught when she found herself between the sketches, once, twice, and then again and again. Different versions of her by your eyes; talking, thinking, walking, smiling, laughing, sometimes even scowling.

And Jenna has never seen herself look so beautiful, so enchanting. Is this how you see her?

Her vision got blurred again but she gulped it back this time, "it's so beautiful," was all she could whisper, smile tugging at her lips as her fingers traced one of the lines that formed her.

"You are," was your answer, in the same quiet tone, afraid to break the spell holding this moment.

Jenna's eyes turned up to you at last, big and vulnerable, almost completely black because of her pupils. She leaned in just a tad, your noses shy of brushing each other — gravity, magnetism, fate; whatever it might be, trying to push you together.

You ran your tongue over your bottom lip in a motion that she followed, "tomorrow, I'll help you with your dance," you took hold of her free hand, intertwining your fingers, "and it's gonna turn out amazing."

Jenna giggled, and you wanted to bottle up the sound and keep it forever.

"Tonight," you copied her smile, "we'll rest, okay?"

Bringing your hand up to her lips, Jenna planted a kiss on your knuckles, "okay."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Jenna’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @thenextdawn @alexkolax @aahdiieb @mindingmybidness12 @melthedwarf

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega #wednesday #wednesday addams x reader #jenna ortega x you #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #jenna ortega fanfic #jenna x reader #my story

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disneyprincemuke · 3 days

Text

i didn't tell you i was scared * fem!driver

perhaps carrying the burden of being the perfect eldest daughter after all these years have its disadvantages as well

pairings: fem!driver and her literal family

notes: don't even get me started on how fuckin long it took me to write this bro and also let's not talk about how bad this one is ok? thanks

(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)

(prev)

being back home has always brought about a sense of peace she hasn’t been able to replicate anywhere else. it’s just a different serenity when she’s back under the blankets of the bed she’d grown up in, surrounded by everything that reminded her of being young and innocent.

oh, how she misses the times when it felt like the world was in her hands. how naïve of her to think that if she worked hard, she’d get everything she wanted.

every single word of rejection slowly dug the trenches she’s managed to find herself in lately.

she’s so deep in that she doesn’t think there’s a way out.

she lies on her back, childhood stuffed animals burying her in the blanket. she bores holes in the roof of her room where her glow-in-the-dark stars stare right back at her.

she can almost hear the ghost of her 13-year-old self whining as oscar and logan prop themselves up on her bed to paste them on her ceiling, making fun of her for being too short to do it herself.

it used to be so simple.

there’s soft knock on the door followed bt the creaking of its hinges as it’s pushed open. a head pops in. “can we go to the store?”

“what?” she turns her head towards the door and furrows her eyebrows. “can’t you just take my car and go alone?”

dalton frowns, “is it such a crime to spend time with my very beautiful older sister?”

she raises an eyebrow. “you want me to pay, don’t you?”

“don’t make me sound so feral,” the young boy huffs with a roll of his eyes. “i haven’t seen you in months… come on, let’s do something together?”

“i don’t really…” she sighs as she meets her younger brother’s stare and hopeful smile. “alright, mate, just let me change out of my pyjamas.”

that’s how she finds herself at a convenience store at 2 in the morning, hands in the pockets of one of logan’s old jackets that he left in her parent’s house, slowly sauntering through aisles with a blank stare.

she’s been staring at a box of cereal for a couple of minutes, debating with herself if she should let herself indulge. but lately, it just doesn’t feel like she deserves nice things.

when dalton finds her, he’s got a basket full of snacks and drinks. he stops at the end of the aisle with a puzzled stare and tilts his head. “didn’t see anything you want?”

she smiles, “not really. and i’m supposed to be watching my diet — too much ice cream, noah said.”

which is just another blatant lie. she hasn’t touched a drop of ice cream since matt had packed his bags and left her apartment. she hasn’t even really been eating.

dalton hums, “i guess… let yourself have a cheat day, though.”

she sighs out a soft laugh and slings an arm over dalton’s shoulders. “maybe tomorrow. come on, let’s pay up before mama finds out i let you convince me to drive you out to the store in the middle of the night.”

she rests her head at the foot of her bed, nose-to-nose with kidnapper as he sleeps peacefully on one of her pillows.

“wish my life was as simple as yours,” she mutters, running her finger along the cat’s nose. “wish i could sleep all day and be adored like you, kid.”

she glances at her phone, lying peacefully on her side table next to the bed. it’s been going off with constant text messages for the past 5 minutes, most from logan and oscar asking about her parents’ anniversary party, and some from matt.

she can’t get herself to pick up the phone and answering feels like such a daunting task. she can’t find the right words to type out and send out as an acceptable response.

“hey,” the door opens and her mother’s head pops in, “busy?”

she lifts her head and smiles slightly. “what do you need me to do?”

“can you pick up the decorations from town? it’s pre-ordered, so you just gotta pick it up. then maybe could you bring home some dinner?” her mother flashes her a sheepish grin, obviously hoping that she would say yes.

“can’t you get dalton to pick it up? i’ll let him use my car if that’s what you’re worried about,” she offers with a small, unnoticeable scowl on her face. her plan for the entire day was to simply lie in her bedroom and do absolutely nothing.

her day simply isn’t complete unless she’s wallowed in self pity.

“he’s barely permitted to drive a car with an adult in the passenger seat,” her mother sighs. “come on, please? i’ll make you your favourite breakfast tomorrow.”

“really? it has to be me?”

“you’ve locked yourself in your room the 2 days you’ve been back,” her mother sighs again with the shake of her head. “i thought you came home early to help around.”

“i came back early to spend my break here. that doesn’t mean anything about helping around,” she complains, yet she’s scrambling to get herself off her bed. she knows better than to get into this sort of argument with her mother — it’s simply not going to be worth it. “but if it has to be me…”

she gets up and drops kidnapper off in dalton’s room. she changes out of her day-old pyjamas and heads to town where her mother had asked her to go.

all the while cursing under her breath about having so much to do on her supposed break. she’d only driven herself back ahead of her parents’ anniversary party to give herself a break from the fast-paced nature of london.

that and the refusal to go back to her apartment when it no longer felt like home.

but she does all that her mother asks of her anyway because her mother says so.

“you need to eat more, my love.” she watches her mother stand from her position on the dinner table and pick up a bowl of noodles. “you look like you haven’t been eating at all.”

“mama,” she tries to protest with a sigh, shaking her head as she tries to push away the bowl from her plate. “i’m not very hungry.”

her mother is insistent. she shakes her head with a soft huff, scooping out a bunch of noodles and putting it on the plate in front of her. “you need to eat more than you’re eating.”

she lets out an irritated sigh and turns to her father, sat next to her mother, for some sort of words to help her. but he just shrugs at her with an apologetic smile.

“i just want you to look like yourself again,” her mother sighs, pinching her cheek tenderly with a small smile. “you’ve had a tough year.”

she scoffs, dropping her head to toy with the noodles on her plate. of course, she uses her shit of a season to justify being an overbearing figure in her life. she would have been more tolerant of it — as she’s been her entire life — but it’s just not a good time for this behaviour right now.

“fine, whatever.”

she glances down the hallway for anyone who would catch her before she opens the door. she’s greeted by 2 beds and an empty room, but an overwhelming familiarity of friendship. a friendship that she’s strayed so far from that it barely makes sense for her to be standing in this bedroom.

on top of the dresser is a framed picture of her, oscar and logan at a karting track in the earlier days of their karting days together. she stands between the boys, oscar and logan leaning into her with their lips pressed against either side of her cheeks.

on the beds, she can see the 3 of them cuddled up together when she was 14 seeking help from the older boys with her homework.

if she thinks hard enough, she sees her 15-year-old self on oscar’s bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin with logan and oscar squeezing in the other bed in the room when she’s having trouble sleeping by herself.

in the far corner of the room, she can see herself at 16 curled up on the floor after her first boyfriend had broken up with her. and oscar walks in with a small scowl but 3 pints of ice cream for them to share while they try to distract her of the pain.

the room’s been cleaned and polished by her mother, preparing for oscar and logan’s return for their anniversary party this weekend.

she makes a sharp turn for the cabinet at the side of the room, pushing through hangers of jackets and sweaters hanging neatly, untouched for god knows how long. she sighs when a familiar red jacket comes into view.

“i told mama this is mine,” she grumbles under her breath, pulling the jacket out of the cabinet. it’s a ferrari jacket that oscar had gotten from his parents when he was younger, but since he’d outgrown it, she’d claimed it for herself.

“oh, there you are.”

she turns around, with a heavy heart and teary eyes, and comes face-to-face with her father. “hey.”

“i’ve been looking all over for you,” he sighs heavily, stepping into the room with caution. “i just wanted to check in on you after what happened during dinner. you know mama meant well.”

she grins with a slight nod. “yeah, i know.”

“and we’re just concerned for you.” he wraps an arm around her and rests his chin on top of her head. “after the year you’re having… we’re all concerned for you.”

“concerned?” she repeats under her breath, looking up at her father. “regarding what? i’m doing fine.”

“personally, i’m just concerned because you’re my princess,” he mumbles, giving her a squeeze. “and you know… i’m your father? i know if something’s wrong, but it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it yet.”

she lets out a heavy sigh, relaxing in his arms. she wraps her arms around him and nuzzles her face into his chest, “thanks for not making me talk about it.”

she throws her head back, trying to pull back the hand that’s clasped in dalton’s hands, yanking her towards the garage of the house.

“come on,” dalton mutters, “we’ll have so much fun! just like before!”

“dalton, i told you i didn’t feel like leaving the house today,” she whines, trying another attempt at pulling her hand back from him. “i have some things to settle with my finances and schedule… i’ve put that off for a couple days and kristen and noah need those by tonight.”

“i’m sure it can’t take that long,” dalton whines with a heavy sigh, tugging on her arm. “just a quick movie in at the theatre then a cup of ice cream?”

“dalton, come on, i said i don’t have the time for this!” she shrieks, yanking her arm back and stomping a foot on the ground. “i’ll pay for you to go with a couple of friends, but i can’t go with you. i have adult matters to handle before the week is over.”

dalton blinks at her, shocked at her sudden outburst. “i just wanted to spend time with you before you go off and not come home for months… i’m sorry.”

she opens her mouth to add to her previous statement, but seeing her younger brother with a frown on his face instantly felt like a pierce through her heart. “i– dalton,” she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “i just have so much going on right now. maybe we can go a little later? i just need to finish a couple of things for my team.”

“it’s alright,” dalton sighs dejectedly, shaking his head. he walks past her to head for the stairs. “maybe next time when you’re not being a bitch anymore.”

“what the fuck,” she mutters with eyebrows furrowed, turning around with her gaze following his steps. “you did not just say that.”

“what?” dalton whirls around. “it’s true. you’ve been such a bitch since you came back. you lock yourself inside your room, you never wanna talk to me, you never wanna join me for snacks, it takes me extra effort just to convince you to come out of the house and do stuff with me… you changed, mate.”

she takes a deep breath. “of course, you don’t understand. you’re just a 16-year-old — you don’t fucking know anything.”

“i know my sister,” dalton scowls. he rolls his eyes and scoffs with a dry laugh. “sorry, i mean i used to know my eldest sister. nowadays, you just ignore my texts, never return my calls and never wanna hang out. you’re a flake, rocky.”

“and you’re just a fucking kid, why should i take anything you say seriously? what do you know about anything that’s outside of your stupid video games and secondary school?” she huffs. “and what do you know about what’s going on with me? that’s not fair.”

“i’m not talking to someone who’s not open to criticism.” he glances at her over his shoulder one more time before running up the stairs. “get a grip, mate.”

“hey, i heard you were back early.” the front door closing echoes in the house, ciara putting her backpack down next to the shoe rack.

the other girl sits on the couch, attention unwavering to the tv show she’s put on to watch. “yeah. hi.”

“i bought you dinner on my drive home from campus.” ciara skips over to the couch happily, leaning down on the back of the couch her older sister sits on. ciara turns her head to grin at her. “from the chinese restaurant. i got you some noodles and wanton.”

“oh, thank you.” she turns her head with a small grin and a soft eye, eyes stinging with every blink. “welcome home, ara.” she pulls ciara in for a short side hug and presses a kiss on her cheek. “how’s uni?”

“it was alright,” ciara shrugs. “join me for dinner?”

she hums, returning her attention to the tv screen. “maybe not; i’m still full from the lunch i had. but thank you for getting me dinner.”

“you’re home!” dalton appears at the top of the stairs with a big grin. “did you get me my fried rice?”

“of course!” ciara beams, beckoning him down towards the dining table. “help me set up the table. rocky’s still full from lunch. it’s just us, come on.”

dalton hops over to the kitchen with ciara, not sparing his eldest sister another stare. so she just turns off the tv and runs back to her bedroom.

“oh. i didn’t know it was such a sensitive topic,” her mother shrugs with a soft chuckle. “i was just curious because you said matt was going to be here for the party this weekend and suddenly he’s not.”

the girl shrugs, keeping her stare on the plate. “yeah, but i really don’t wanna talk about him right now.”

“come on, just concerned for your relationship.” she clenches her jaw, feeling a knot form in her throat as she lifts her eyes to meet her mother’s stare across the table. “did something happen?”

“no,” she lies with a small grin. “he’s just got some things to settle back in the states. he’s just busy.”

“or maybe he realised you were a bitch,” dalton mutters under his breath.

“dalton,” ciara warns through gritted teeth, hitting dalton on the shoulder very gently. “what the hell?”

“what? it’s true,” dalton mutters. “you know that more than i do.”

“that’s enough,” her father speaks up. “let’s just eat dinner, okay?”

“no, my love,” a whine comes from behind her, “you put it up wrongly.”

the girl on the top of the ladder looks over her shoulder and meets her mother’s judgemental stare and disappointed frown. “you literally told me to put it here, mama.”

“put it up higher, no– like– i’ll just do it.” her mother offers her a reassuring smile and beckons her to get down from her position.

“no, it’s so dangerous for you to be up here,” she mutters, attempting to readjust the wall decorations to her liking. “just tell me where to put it.”

“you’re,” her mother pauses, “not doing it right. just come down and let me do it.”

she huffs and drops her hands. “fine.”

she climbs down the ladder, folding her arms over her chest as she watches her mother replace her.

“see? isn’t that better.”

but she swears it’s exactly the way she’d put it up just a moment ago.

“is this what you’re going to do the entire time you’re here? just mope in your room with your cat?”

she lifts her head from her pillow and turns, resting her head again as she stares at her mother standing at the door. “is this really how you want to start the day?”

“it’s noon. the day started almost 3 hours ago.” her mother leans on the door frame of her bedroom. “you have to get up and do something. locking yourself up in here,” she pauses to look around the kiddish bedroom, “it won’t make you feel any better.”

“i just have a lot going on,” she mumbles, flipping herself to face the other side of the room. “i’ll come down in a while. i just need a couple minutes.”

“oh, my god, mama!” her voice echoes in the empty house, running down the steps with her mother following shortly behind her. “stop asking me about matt! i don’t want to talk about him right now!” she turns around at the bottom of the steps. “not with you; not with anyone!”

“i’m just trying to give him an answer, my love! he’s concerned for you. he said you haven't answered his messages all week,” her mother reprimands with her hands on her hips.

“that’s between matt and i and you have no say in this, sorry.” she raises her hands in the air to surrender before walking away. “it’s just none of your business.”

she’d just been relaxing in her room by herself when her mother came in trying to make conversation. she’d been receptive at first until she realised that she was trying to get her to talk about matt again.

which, she’s just not ready to open up about yet.

“it is if you’re acting this way! locking yourself in your room all day… fighting with dalton? don't even get me started on the way you can’t even clean up after yourself — you’re an adult now.”

“i’m an adult, yeah, so let me deal with my fucking problems however i see fit!” she laughs dryly and turns to face her mother again. “can i have some room to breathe? please? without everyone following closely behind me and staring at me like i’m pathetic?”

“we don’t think you’re pathetic!”

“i see the sorry in your eyes when you look at me! everyone seems to be looking at me that way lately!”

“my l–”

“just please leave me alone!”

so she gets in her car and drives away. she doesn’t know how long she drives for, tears in her eyes and chest heaving in sobs.

but she finds herself at the park nearby, one that she used to frequent with oscar and logan after school. she parks her car right by the roadside and forces herself onto the empty playground. she sits on the slide for hours until she feels slightly better.

she pushes the front door open with a heavy sigh. the sadness of pulling up in the driveway of her house worries her. it’s like the sadness seems to find a way to follow her everywhere.

everywhere she goes, it’s like there’s a dark cloud hanging above her head and she doesn’t know how to make it go away.

“where have you been?” ciara’s voice startles her, sending her a step back. “we’ve been worried sick for you after you left so abruptly before dinner! you weren’t even picking up your phone!”

“i just needed some time alone,” she says with a heavy sigh. she closes the door behind her and slips out of her shoes. “i was just at the playground i used to go to with logan and oscar. think i left my phone in my bedroom before i left and i went to grab dinner–”

“seriously? you’re not even sorry?” ciara screams, throwing her arms in the air. “we’ve been so worried sick for you since you walked out for no reason?”

she tilts her head. “no reason? mama has been grilling me about things i don’t want to talk about since i came back.”

“she’s concerned for you! we’re all concerned for you!”

“i didn’t ask for your concern! i’m asking you guys to leave me alone; give me some fucking room to breathe!”

“then why did you come all the way here just to lock yourself in your bedroom? if you want to be left alone, you should’ve just fucking stayed in london where you have an apartment where no one will fucking bother you!”

she huffs, hands on her hips. “fine. i’ll just go back. since it’s such a bother that i’m too sad to be here right now.” she stomps past her younger sister and up the stairs, heading right for her bedroom.

“don’t try and guilt trip me to feel sorry for you!” ciara chases after her. “it’s just not fair that you came all this way to be fighting with every single person in this household! just because blythe’s not here, doesn’t mean you’ll get away with this behaviour!”

“i’m not trying to guilt trip you,” she snarls, grabbing her bag from the ground and shoving her things, sprawled all over her room, into it. “but i’m sorry my feelings are such a burden to you guys. cause personally, i’m not having the best time.”

“if you’re not having the best time, don’t bring us down with you! it’s mama and papa’s anniversary! spend a little time not thinking of yourself for once!”

“i’ve spent my whole life not thinking of myself! you don’t know — you’re just a spoilt brat who got everything she wanted growing up! i actually had to work for the things i wanted.”

ciara scoffs, finally stepping into the room. “who gave you the right to act all high and mighty like you’re better than everyone? being the eldest kid doesn’t mean shit, genius.”

“well, what would you know about being the eldest kid? you never had to take care of anyone besides yourself; you never had to think of anyone but yourself.” she picks up kidnapper, sleeping on the foot of her bed and throws her bag over her shoulder. “just fuck off, ciara.”

“you’re not the only one with problems, you know,” ciara scoffs, folding her arms over her chest. “and what, you’re leaving? way to face your problems head-on.”

“i’m leaving because clearly i’m not wanted here,” the older girl sighs, pushing past the girl to her bedroom door. “so let me get out of your hair before my sadness becomes too contagious for your liking.”

“you’re leaving?” blythe says in shock, watching her older sister walk past her without another moment’s hesitation. “but i just got here. and isn’t the part tomorrow?”

“she’s throwing us the dramatics!” ciara announces with a loud laugh, running down the stairs to catch up with her older sister heading right for the front door. “she’s leaving because she can’t face the fact that she could be overreacting this one time!”

“overreacting?” blythe repeats, following both sisters down the stairs. “what are you guys even fighting about?”

“she left for hours with no contact!”

“i don’t even wanna stay long enough for you to paint me to be the villain,” the girl announces, pulling the front door open. “i’m leaving.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @mclarengf @xoscar03 @nomie-11 @green-thots @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

#fem!driver #f1 fem!driver #female driver #disneyprincemuke vr #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #vettel reincarnate

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hollowtones · 23 days

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opinions on yoshis story? imo that game doesnt deserve to have music that good

I haven't played very much of it and I've been meaning to do something about that forever. I've played some of it and I've watched others go through most of it.

I know I've seen a little bit of modern grumbling (I don't know if this was a point of contention when the game came out because I was three at the time. OK I looked up some reviews from the era and it looks like it was also a thing people were mad about back then. LOL) over the fact that the game isn't more like "Yoshi's Island" & that it feels like it's aimed more at younger audiences. I dunno. I've never been bothered much by games with some tie to one another doing something different. (Some of the response reminds me of Transformers fans being upset over Hasbro making toys and shows for very young children sometimes; admittedly maybe I'm off the mark here.)

It's a very easy game if you want it to be. You can just eat any fruits you want forever and it's over in a blink. And it's fine. It's fine if the video game lets you beat it very fast if you want to. You can also try to collect only one single kind of fruit in a level and that makes things take longer and makes them feel like more of a scavenger hunt (especially if you're trying to get all the melons). I think that's neat. There's sort of an interesting design trajectory from "Super Mario World" to "Yoshi's Island" where the levels become a little longer, a little more meandering, a little more exploratory, sometimes (not always, and not massively, but it's still there) a little less linear. No time limit. Going for collectibles instead; making every level about getting a score of 100 (if you want to). You can see that iterated on in "Yoshi's Story"! No singular end point of the level. Bigger rooms to explore (while still keeping levels relatively short). More of a focus on puzzle solving and exploration. Collectibles simplified to one meter that you fill up, but there are multiple things that can fill it & you get rewarded for only collecting one kind. (And also the hearts that let you pick what level you go to next. There's a lot of "opening up more of the game for yourself if you want to go out and look for it" here. Are there other collectibles, actually? I don't really remember...) Secret fruits that give even more points. It makes the levels feel more like puzzle box toys that you roam around in. It's neat that they designed that for younger kids and it's neat that you can make it more difficult if that sounds fun to you. (I would have to play more of it myself to decide if going for all melons is fun for me specifically. But I like it on paper, y'know?)

The pop-up storybook theming is cute and the visual aesthetic of the game overall works really well. It feels like arts & crafts dioramas made by kids (or with kids) so they could play pretend with their toys while reading a storybook. It's got very strong toy feel overall. The music is really fun!!! It does the dynamic soundtrack thing where some parts of the track change depending on your health!!! I'm always clapping my hands like a seal with a game's music changes depending what I'm doing!!! Maybe it's a little silly of me to say this, given that it's a sentiment I've had in the past, but nowadays I scratch my head a bit at "the music in this has no right to go this hard" type comments. It goes hard because the musicians got hired to make it like that. (I'm imagining a guy who thinks the "Yoshi's Story" music is the hardest music ever created and I'm smiling serenely about it. I hope he's real & I hope he's out there somewhere.) I'm glad they let Totaka do something that feels at least a little experimental for the goofy Yoshi babies storybook super happy yay & jumping throwing game soundtrack. It's a fun contrast, isn't it? It feels very of-the-era in a way I'm having trouble externalizing outside of "well it's a little weird and multi-genre". It's neat that they all have a shared melody that they draw on.

Thanks for reading my short essay on a childrens' video game I haven't played a lot of yet. I need to go take a shower now.

#Also I remember the dying & game over screens really scaring me as a kid. LOL

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jumbojazzcats93 · 3 months

Text

PTOLEMAEA - Soap

Summary - You meet a charming Stanger while hitchhiking.

Tags/Warnings - Ethel Cain's Thoroughfare, GN reader, dark content, gore, murder, cannibalism, death, noncanon, obsessive love, toxic love

Banner by @/benkeibear @glossysoap @divine--serenity @violet-phantoms @lordlydragon @quietlyignoringyou

Word Count - 1K

He thought she looked so wildly beautiful the first time he saw her. With wind whipped hair, an old satchel and some well trodden clothes; holding her thumb out as she edged the freeway. He was unable to drive passed her, so he pulled over and asked where she was heading and despite signaling she wanted a ride, she looked tense and flighty. He noticed the hilt of a pistol sticking from her pants side pocket where she clenched her fist over and over. "Don't you worry now, m'eudail. I'll take you anywhere you wanna go.", and with that, she jumped in to join him.

You were silent, observing, but you didn't seem to dislike his chatter. He told you about his family and how loving they were. How after his parents passing he left to travel the world; how he wanted to find the love that they had together for himself. When you revealed you didn't really know where you were going, just anywhere but home, he suggested you join him. "Well, lass, how about you come see the west coast with me? Some company is surely welcomed on this never ending journey of ours." That was when he saw his first smile. A hesitant, crooked smile followed by a small chuckle, "Sure as hell beats walkin' don't it?"

Over months of travel he began to crack open your shell. Months of conversations over meals. Months of hours spent on the road together. Months of sharing motel rooms and beds. Months spent unknowingly falling in love with you. You said you didn't believe in love, you'd never felt it from anyone in your life, but were hopeful his search could change that. He had no idea he was the only man to ever show you kindliness and respect with nothing expected in return...

No idea you had fallen in love with him; him and his endless outpour of kindness and warmth, within just the first few weeks of traveling together.

He watched you take in the cross country sights of small towns, busy cities, open country and untouched forests. Watched as you learned to bear your soul to someone for the first time. The search for his love had been long forgotten. How could he see anyone other than the sweet, timid little thing in his passenger seat? He got you all the way to the coast before he could put words to it. You had told him how sorry you were that he didn't find the love he was searching for as he looked out over the California coast and he chuckled as he responded, "Well... I still made it this far without it." You caught his gaze as he turned to you and he thought then that with the wind in your hair, in those old clothes and with that open expression on your face; he had never seen anyone more beautiful. You looked just like you did the day he found you. "Well, maybe not...", he whispered into the sea breeze. "Look at what I've got." Your eyes were stuck to his as he said, "You might not be my love... but Bonnie I doubt it."

He asked you to stay with him. Keep traveling with him and keep exploring with him, taste the night scene of California for a little while. He couldn't let you go. Not when he'd found what he'd been looking for all his life. He needed more of you. His gaze betrayed it, too. You could see it in his eyes that he was consumed by his love for you, but you couldn't recognize it for what it was. Obsession. He wanted to experience everything there was with you.... but it started to prove too much. Too overwhelming. The drugs and the people, the liquor and the lights, his eyes and his gaze. You could see it in his eyes... and even if your mind couldn't recognize it your intuition knew it was no good. You wanted it to stop, but what? You had no idea what you were seeing, so how could Johnny know what to do? The deeper into the drugs he went, the more you felt it. You felt it the night you slept together and he bit you so hard you bled into his mouth. You felt it on your skin like you were on fire.

He promised, promised, promised, promised.

"I need you. I love you. I need you. I love you."

It became frantic, he felt manic; he swore he was suffering under the weight of his love. You had no idea the lengths he could go... You could see it in his eyes, but you had nothing to compare this love to. Everything seems normal when it's the first time. How could you know what you don't know? You couldn't see what was whispering in his ear... what was breathing down your neck.

His eyes. He won't stop looking at you. You didn't know him. You wanted it all to stop. "Please don't look at me. It's too much." He keeps looking at you and you can see it. The shadows. You could see them in his eyes; you couldn't lead him away from them, couldn't bring him back. There was nothing you could do. It had already been done. You just wanted to be his and you wondered if it made him sick. If you were turning in his stomach. Burning his throat. Souring his mouth.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

You wondered if it finally felt like enough to him. If he finally felt he had received all of you. His freezer bride. He was so handsome as he stood over you. Consuming you. Drinking you in. Your life in his hands. Were you making him sick? You wanted him to know that you didn't blame him. Please, don't think about it too hard. Please, just tuck away that bloody Polaroid. You wanted to tell him as he tore you apart that no matter how your taste sated him, he would never have all of you. Not now.

Not the way Death did.

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fanficwriterlover · 10 months

Text

Safe With A Ghost

18+ Readers Only

Chapter 5 : Home is Wherever You Go

Summary: Jumping a year ahead in time, things have definitely changed since finding out you're pregnant and now welcoming a little bundle of joy into the world...but will you and Simon "Ghost" Riley be a happy family for long ?

What to Expect: Just find out yourself ~

Pet-Names: Pigeon & Little Lamb

Word Count: 2k

════ ⋆Safe With A Ghost MasterList⋆ ════

═════════ ⋆Chapter 5½⋆ ════════

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A Little Over a Year...

Simon was holding your 3 months old baby, while you were sleeping peacefully in your shared bedroom. He heard the baby waking up from their sleep and decided to hold them and nurture them so they don't wake you. Both of you discussed that it would be best if you didn't work, instead you are a stay at home mom, at least until Simon felt comfortable and knew where he felt was safer for you. Moving you out into the country side, on an acre property. It was something you both always wanted. A place far from bustling streets and war. Just the serene peacefulness of nature around you along with a couple horses that you begged Simon to allow you to have since it was a dream of yours since little. He rocked your toddler in his arms in their nursery, it was cozy, you both kept the color neutral deciding on a subtle green because you both didn't know the gender, wanting it to be a a surprise. To both your surprises you had a healthy boy. You named him Colton Riley.

Despite Simon's original doubts and fears of having a child, especially a duplicate of himself. Seeing the little bundle after the birth and hearing him cry out was a whole other level of adoration. If you thought loving you was impressive his love for your son was far more. He would kill anyone that hurt your little boy, and he'd be damn to let anyone bully your son. Your son was safe for sure. No doubt. Simon patted the back of your toddler "Ease bugger, don't wanna wake you mum. She's been working hard looking out for you." He speaks low and gruffly. After his mission several months ago, he told Price he'd be focusing more on his family unless they truly needed him, and he meant that seriously. As promise Price hasn't needed Simon so far it was peaceful just being home at your side and your son. But he knew it wouldn't last. After his last mission of General Shepherd betrayal, the Shadow company and then finding out about Makarov. He knew that nothing was going to last, especially when Laswell gets her hands more on Makarov movements. As of now, he has been extra cautious and General Shepherd has gone off grid. The CIA has been scrambling to do coverups and also reinstate a new general in command. For now Laswell has been leading the reins which made things a little flexible. After 141, Los Vaqueros, and Ghost team, Simon enjoyed just being Simon with you and their son. He felt himself more, a deep part of him kept Ghost under lock and key until he was needed again. But having the little bundle in his arms really made him not dwell so much on those matters, as you would tell him to focus on right now before their son in a blink of an eye be all grown up. He chuckles patting the baby, adjusting him onto his shoulder as he stood walking around the room encouraging the toddler to fall asleep after feeding him.

You woke up seeing Simon in the nursery, as he was holding your 3 month over his broad shoulders. The toddler looked so tiny in his grasps as Colton had his head nestled into his black top. You speak softly "Already getting him ready for his nap I see" you smile softly. Simon turns to look at you give a soft gaze with his face mask on, showing his tustled dirty blonde cropped hair. He glances at your son's sleeping figure on his shoulder before speaking lowly "Buggers easy to knock out." You walk over rubbing your son's back, Simon's eyes watching you intently as you touch the baby rubbing around in circular motion. Looking up at his eyes seeing his soft brown eyes bore into you, you lean up pulling down his mask to kiss him. He obliges until the feeling of his phone ring. The two of you froze. It felt so soon. You give him a sympathetic look as Colton began squirming waking up from the ringtone. You gently pry your son off his father's shoulder looking at Simon "You should answer it..." Simon knew he should as he looked at you almost wanting to let it go through voicemail but he answered walking out of the nursery,

Price....

Saying in a low grumble, he was very mad, he for once was enjoying the peace of his family and it all came crashing down in a minute. Price continued on the other end-

Ghost. I know I made a promise to you and y/n that I would only reach out if it was the upmost importance-

Almost sounding like a beg, with a stern voice, he was clenching the phone as he spoke through gritted teeth-

Price-

Simon could hear Price take a deep breath, it almost seem like he was dreading having to even say this-

I need you back Ghost. This mission is crucial and I need the best.

Simon was leaning against the stair railing gripping it tightly as he says in his low British gruff voice

What are your orders Captain.

He knew Price could tell from his tone that Simon was not happy to hear from him. He felt he barely had time with their newborn and leave y/n alone while he's gone made him feel worse. The fear and anxiety from the moment he found out you were pregnant settling into his stomach. He could hear Price let out another sigh

Lieutenant Ghost, your orders are to meet at base to be debriefed by Laswell. A plane will pick you up tomorrow at exactly 09:00.

Those words and orders made Simon stiffen up. He knew this was serious as he gave a loud enough response.

Sir, yes sir.

There was a pause, Simon was clenching his teeth and the railing as Price spoke again-

And Simon....

The Captain leaving his formalities as Simon stayed silent on the line until Price spoke again.

Give Little Lamb and that kiddo my regards...

With that, Price hung up and Simon was standing in the living room staring down at the phone, felt like deja vu. The last time he got a call from Price to do a mission you were kidnapped. That day still haunts him, except now you two have a son, and he'd be leaving you with their newborn. The idea again leaving you, all alone, despite how safe you are and off the books. The pit of his stomach didn't make him feel better. He didn't know how long he was standing staring daggers at his phone until, you came behind him wrapping your arms around him touching him gently. It snapped him out of his trance reaching to touch your hand as you spoke into his back "I take Price called about a mission ?" Your voice so soft and angelic, he never wanted to hear the sound of you asking that question. He speaks lowly "Price's orders." You process this as you press a gentle kiss onto his back, feeling him almost tense from the touch, you could tell this angered him that he was being called away. So you walked around him to face him touching his arms running your hands over his tattoo sleeve arm "Simon...this is your home always will be but 141 is your family, they need you too." You gave him a gentle smile and squeezing his biceps gently "We'll be fine here. I promise." His eyes searched yours for the longest time as he sighs pressing his forehead onto yours scrunching his brows "You call me-" you giggle nuzzling your nose onto his giving off the best British accent you could muster "-when you need me and I'll drop everything in a fuckin blind eye" he raises a brow at you "I don't fuckin sound even close to that" you laugh softly "Kinda..." He wraps his arms around you pulling you closer "Not even Pigeon." But he was grinning under his mask and you knew this as he sighs "But yeah...I'll fuckin ditch everything to get back here" you smile softly "I know. I know" you two spent a couple minutes holding each other. You two spent even most of the day embracing in each others arms along with Colton until tomorrow came too quickly.

It was early in the morning. You were holding Colton on your hip as he gnawed his gummy teeth on your necklace chain it was something Simon got for you, it was a heart shape with his initials on it. Simon, had his duffle bag stuffed, now wearing his attire for this mission, in his big black coat, jeans, skeleton gloves, and full balaclava. He even put his black paint on, which really brought out the blonde in his lashes. Colton definitely got that from his dad. Colton had his lashes but your eye color, Simon's crooked nose, and dimple cheeks, with your skin complexion. Even with the balaclava on, Colton knew Simon Ghost was still his father as he reached for his masked face. Simon leaned in for his son to touch and inspect his balaclava.

You were doing your best not to cry as you watch the interaction. You knew deep down Simon would always come back yet, it was different now. Having your son and actually becoming closer since the ordeal has made you love him more and more. Him honestly opening up to you was a big help too, after you met Price, Soap, Gaz, & Laswell you knew he'd always be looked after. Not that he needed to be looked after, but you felt comforted to know he has people to watch his back when things got hard. Once again you didn't realize your tears coming down as you felt his padded glove wipe your cheek, gently tilting your head up. His eyes were soft looking at you, you didn't even realize he lifted his balaclava enough to reveal his lips, that had scars slitted at the corner of his mouth as he leans down kissing you gently, than looking at you. Once again it felt like what happened a year ago...

"Guess, you better get going or you'll miss your flight" you sniffle letting out a little laugh, you suck in a breath looking at Colton in your arms. Ghost's looks at his son giving a soft kiss on the head and rubbing his head mumbling softly "Be good for your mum" it took every bodily power not to break down as you look from your son to Ghost.

"I love you Simon Ghost Riley" you readjust Colton in your arms looking at him as he looked at you and his son in your arms

"Love you too y/n..." He knew better to leave a promise that he couldn't keep, he couldn't guarantee he'd be safe and live to see you again, but he did etch you holding their son in your arms giving a brave smile as he carried his bag leaving his comfortable home. Walking to his truck tossing his duffle bag in, he took one last look at the home seeing you walk out onto the porch watching him as you lift Colton's hand to wave bye, subconsciously waving back as he got in driving off. Your words ringing in his ear as he drove. "Simon...this is your home always will be but 141 is your family, they need you too." He huffs knowing you're right, but he wished he wasn't neck deep sometimes wish he was a simple man you could love and never worry about your life on the line or your son's or partner. Sometimes he wondered if you would be better off. But than, selfishly deep down, you kept him grounded, because with you and Colton- Home truly is always with me..he thought to himself as he made his way to the airport to do this unexpected mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for Reading !

If you think this is the end it's not...brace yourself this is going to be an emotional rollercoaster...and I will not apologize for keeping you glued. (Also, I made some edits on this chapter to flow better with the next chapter)

ꨄ︎Taglist: @jadama20 @lunamoons-posts @babygirl-panda19 @kat-nee @marshallowy @bi-witch-bxtch @unit-1021 @wwe1rdc0re @crazy-phan-girl13

#ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #cod mw2 #cod modern warfare #simon ghost riley x f!reader #cod x y/n #cod x you #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost cod #cod mw x reader #cod simon riley #cod simon ghost riley

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h-c-u · 1 year

Text

No longer a secret pt 4

Summary: The one with goodbyes and introductions.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader

W/C: 6.7k (i don't know what happened, but I can already say that the next one will be shorter)

Rating: PG, age gap

TWs: none

A/N: Not me finally having to set the story in time and realising I fucked up the dates, because I wrote the first part as a favour, knowing exactly 0 things about F1. Nope. Couldn't be me. (so yeah, the qualis FOR SOME REASON were on Friday here, with the race on Sunday. I will not be taking any notes about that cause I know I fucked up.). Also - protective Toto, my beloved <3 Also also - a fair warning - I am sick. So this part was written in one sitting mostly by fever, stuffed nose and proofread by my lovely cough.

Taglist: @crimeshowjunkie, @omgsuperstarg

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | List of tags | Playlist for the series

He didn't have to say anything for you to pick up that this moment of serenity was about to end.

- You have to go, don't you...? - you were the first to break the silence and he sighed.

- I told them I'll be in the motorhome in an hour, and well... It's getting pretty close to that. But... I was hoping that you would come with me to officially meet everyone. And we could swing by your hotel after the meeting. - you turned around so quickly, that you almost strained your neck. Objectively - it was a logical next step, even though you've already met most of them in passing, but never as a, well... not-a-reporter. - Unless you're not ready yet, then I completely understand. - you loved that he even took that under consideration because even though you just announced it to the whole world, he understood how big of a step that was.

- No, no, no... It's not that. It's just... I might need some time adjusting, so my first reaction might be still influenced by muscle memory, you know... I still might look over my shoulder to see if anyone is there, I might take away my hand when we're in public... - you started to explain. - And it will have nothing to do with you, I just have to unlearn a few things that I've carved into my head over the last year. And I might need a few reminders every now and then. - you gave him a soft smile, and he pulled you closer as if he wasn't the one who said you should be going.

- Then I will do that... Every now and then, that is... - he placed a soft kiss on your lips. - I think I might actually enjoy it. - you chuckled softly and took a deep breath, inhaling the subtle scent of his cologne.

- Sounds very reasonable, but let's go now. You don't want to be late, Cariad. - you ran your hand through his hair, ruffling them up a little, so they'd have more volume. He looked handsome in every rendition, but when he was more casual... it just did things to you, and he knew that; that's why he didn't even bother to change whatever you did.

You got up first and offered him your hand to help him get up. He didn't need it, but even a few seconds of touching you were too appealing to pass on.

- I'm going to grab my bag and I'll be ready. - he finally got up and you could feel his hand sliding over your body because he didn't want to let of you just yet, but he knew he had to. Besides, it's not like you were saying goodbye forever. The bag was already packed with the necessities in the other room; a habit you developed, because you never could find everything in the morning, so it was easier to gather all you needed in the evening and have it ready to go when you were about to leave.

He was ready to go when you returned to the living room. Even though it was the middle of July, the weather was awful, but it wasn't currently raining, so you didn't take your jacket with you, since this time you knew you'd be able to hide somewhere under the roof in case it started raining. Besides - if it did - you were hoping to steal Toto's again because the perspective of being surrounded by his scent was more than appealing.

- Oh, I almost forgot... You should have your own. - he said just before you left. He took a key card to the room from his pocket and passed it to you, while you stood there confused - I requested one in the morning, before the gym, but then things happened, and... yeah. Anyways - you should have your own since it's going to be your room too. - somehow this small gesture seemed more meaningful than the fact that you agreed to move in with him because it was so obvious that your brain chose not to think about it... But he did.

- Thank you... - you finally recovered from a temporary shock, took the card from his hand, and put it in your bag. Somehow, he managed to prove to you time and time again, that you didn't have to think of and do everything alone, and even after a whole year of being with him - it still surprised you, because, throughout your whole life, you never had that kind of support from anyone else; in the end, you were always alone. And with Toto... you simply weren't.

On the way to the elevators, he wrapped his arm around your waist, and you put yours on his hip, only letting go when you got to the car, where his hand quickly found yours again. For some people, this amount of physical contact might have been excessive or overbearing, but for you, it was never enough, considering that for the longest time, you couldn't even look at him too long without risking rumors, so this change was something you were more than excited about. Sure, you were still in the car, which was in the garage, but the knowledge that you simply could start doing those things in public was enough.

- Should I know anything before I meet everyone? - you asked when you were getting close to the track, finally focusing on what was about to happen.

- Not really... You already have them at a disadvantage, love, because you've listened to me talking about them for a year. All they know about you is that you're damn good at deceiving. And that you're a great reporter. - he chuckled lightly, bringing your hand to his lips just to place a soft kiss on the back of it. - You have nothing to stress about. - just as he was finishing, your phone started to ring, and you had to dive in to see who wanted something from you.

- Good afternoon, Ms. Y/l/n, I'm calling from the Silver Hotel about your checkout. The cleaning staff went in and it seems like you haven't vacated your room just yet, is that correct? - oh how much you wanted to swear and scream, but you knew that what happened wasn't the concierge's fault, so you just took a deep breath.

- Yes, that would be correct. I apologize for that. I assume there is an option for a late checkout in your offer. I would be happy to cover that fee. - your tone of voice changed so much from your regular, that Toto looked at you surprised; but that's what happened if you were dealing with customer service after working in customer service, and before you went into journalism - you had to earn money some way.

- Yes, of course. - you heard some clicking on the other side of the phone. - I see that this room is still under the Network's account. Would you like me to add that fee to the standing bill? - and you just knew that the concierge knew exactly what was going on. You couldn't help but smile, because that's what happened when you were unproblematic, nice, and tipped well.

- That would be perfect, thank you so much for offering. I could be there in about half an hour, maybe a bit more, would that still be within the late checkout? - you asked, and Toto looked at you with a question in his eyes.

- Not a problem, Ms. Y/l/n. Yes, the late checkout is till 2 PM, so you would be more than fine. Is there anything else I can do for you, ma'am? - he asked, you denied, and that was it. Only after the call ended you sighed heavily, just as you were pulling to the track.

- I have to go back to the city, to get my things from the hotel because my wonderful former employer canceled my room with today's date. - you explained when Toto stopped the car in front of the first gate.

- Bastards... - he mumbled barely audibly, but you still heard it and saw his hand tightening on the steering wheel.

- It's not that bad. The concierge was super nice, and they'll charge the fee to the network’s account. So, I'll get the taxi, get my things, leave them at the hotel and be back in what... About an hour, maybe a bit more. Would that be ok? - what you meant was if there would still be enough time to meet everyone, but it seemed like he understood your words differently.

- Nonsense. You won't be overpaying for a taxi this weekend, and considering how long it will take for one to get here... Just take the car, it'll be much easier, and you'll be back quicker. - he said it so casually. It wouldn't be the first time you drove his vintage Mercedes, but it would be the first time without him in it.

- Are you sure...? - you asked, and he just smiled, a little bit amused by your unusual lack of confidence.

- Of course, I'm sure, Schatzi. I trust you. - he smiled, and got out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. It took you a moment to gather your thoughts again, to the point where Toto was able to get around the car and open the doors for you, and only now you were hit with the cacophony of sounds coming from the other side of the gate.

You took his hand to get out of the car and he pulled you closer for a kiss he had to lean in for, even when you stood on your toes.

- This is me... - he whispered in between the kisses. - Reminding you... - you felt him smile and you couldn't help but do the same. - Every now... - your hand easily found its way onto his back. - And then. - he dragged the last one as long as possible, and you couldn't help but flinch when you heard the camera’s shutters opening and closing from afar, even though you didn't know if any of them were pointed at you two. - It's ok. - he added, immediately noticing that something was wrong and pressed his forehead to yours, so you could calm down quicker. - We're ok...

- We're ok. - you echoed with a weak smile that didn't reach your eyes. You couldn't shake the feeling that what you did a couple of hours ago was a bad decision and the consequences will be bigger than you expected. - See you in a bit. - you stole one last kiss, and he finally let you go, so you could get around the car and get behind the wheel.

You were glad that he didn't leave first and waved you goodbye until you were out of eyesight because you hated watching him walk away under any circumstances.

The ride to your original hotel was quick and uneventful, although, in the beginning, you were stressing out more than you expected. But eventually that feeling disappeared and you pulled in front of the building and passed your keys to the valet. As soon as you did that, your phone started blowing up with notifications and requests for comment from people whom you worked with only in passing. You will definitely have to get a new number since instead of reporting on the news, you somehow became one. You muted your phone, choosing to deal with all that mess later.

You quickly entered the hotel and went to your room, but before you managed to open the door, you heard a familiar voice calling your name, and when you turned, you saw the whole crew that came with you to the GP.

- Hi guys... - it was hard for things not to get awkward because just yesterday you were all talking about your plans for tomorrow's race. For a good moment, you all stood there, just staring at each other in the hallway, but someone eventually laughed, and the atmosphere immediately changed.

- Congrats on getting out! You gotta give us some pointers on how you managed to do that so quickly! - the same friend you were talking to this morning finally broke the ice. You were working closely together because it was hard not to be in constant communication with the commentators, and under those conditions, it was impossible not to become friends.

- Sure, sure... You got it! Do you want to come in and talk while I pack? - 7 people in a small room would definitely be crammed, but it was doable; you all knew that from the experience.

- No way! Have they already kicked you out? That was quick.

- Yeah... And I found out from the hotel because I kind of assumed I'll have time till tomorrow. I mean, I was still going to leave the room today, just... you know... later today. - you finally opened the door and let everyone in... Two commentators, three camera operators, one drone operator, and you. You weren't sure who closed the door, but as soon as they did, the questions started, even before everyone sat down anywhere there was space to sit.

You were expecting it to be awkward, but they seemed genuinely happy for you, even though some questions were wildly inappropriate, but considering that you were traveling together for a good part of the year, it was hard not to get close. You often talked about private topics and technically it wasn't any different, except for you it was, because you were serious about Toto. And as soon as you expressed that, they dropped it down a few notches.

- Oh, yeah! Have you heard who will be sent to take over? - you shook your head, while you were closing the zipper in your suitcase. - Fucking Jenny.

- Oh shit, I'm so sorry guys... - you couldn't help but laugh. - Especially to you, Nat... - you gave an apologetic look to your ex-camerawoman, and she pretended to be shot in the heart, all in good faith though.

- You know I know how to make her look worse on camera, right? - she laughed, and everyone joined in. - I was making you look so good because you have some heavy blackmail material on me. - another wave of laughter rippled through the room.

- Ehhh... I'm gonna miss this, not gonna lie... - you sighed because it was true. Whatever the Network was doing, you had your people there... People who were there for you in good and bad times.

- It's not like we'll stop being friends. And! Since we most likely will be covering F1 till we die, we'll still see each other. – you weren’t sure who said that, but it was true.

- You know you can always visit us, right? And you know, maybe smuggle some good snacks for us from the VIP lounge. - Gabe, one of the commentators said and pulled you into a hug, with such force, that you fell on the bed with them.

- Deal... But I got to go, I promised I'll be back on track asap. By the way, why are you all not there? - you sat back up.

- Because we don't have a reporter...? - well now the answer was obvious. There were no races today, so no need for commentators, and nothing interesting to film, besides interviews. - So, we have you to thank for a day off work, a great parting gift. - Nat gave you a radiant smile. - By the way, I still can't believe that you were able to hide it for a year, because I saw you interviewing him up close so many times, and I didn't clock anything! Even now, knowing that you were with him - I can't pinpoint the signs!

- Yeah... We really tried to think of everything, and to be honest - I still think it was worth it because the info is out for what... Two hours? And I already had to mute my phone because it turned into a vibrator. Social media, people from other networks requesting either a comment or an exclusive. Like, I knew people were recognizing both me and him, but this... This is excessive, and I really hope it will die down soon. - you sighed heavily, letting Gabriel play with your hair like he did so many times in the past. - And with it being a secret, we had the opportunity to learn whom we were together without our every move being overanalysed under... - there was a knock on the door. - ...the microscope. Yes?

- Ms. Y/l/n, I'm sorry to interrupt. It's 2:15 PM. Is the room ready to be vacated? - the unfamiliar voice asked through the closed door.

- Yes, I'm so sorry, I'm leaving now. - you replied and the crew got up and out with the speed you recognized from them packing the gear so you all could go and party. You were the last one to leave the room with your suitcase, remembering to slip a tip for the cleaning crew.

Your friends walked you to the elevators when they gave you one last group hug.

- I'm really glad we had a chance to do this, guys... - you whispered, not minding at all that you were being smashed in the middle of the circle.

- Yeah, you take care of yourself, ok...? Be careful and don't forget about us. - you laughed, trying to hold back the tears that started to gather in your eyes.

- Never. Even if I wanted, I couldn't. Too much blackmail between all of us. - you joked and finally stepped into the elevator. You waved them goodbye while the doors closed, and only when they couldn't see you anymore, you dried the tears and made sure in the mirror that your makeup didn't smudge because of that. It, fortunately, didn't, so when you stepped into the lobby, there were no signs of sadness. You returned the keys to your room in the reception and got your passport from the concierge, whom you recognized from your conversation before, so you made sure to thank him again and give him a huge tip because he definitely deserved it.

The ride back to the track was calm again, although getting out of the city took you a moment due to the sheer number of tourists and fans of F1, but as soon as you got to the open road, you put on some music and just enjoyed the ride. Despite it being an older car, it was still in great condition (which could coincidentally be said about its owner), and the engine pleasantly purred when you were handling it just right (which could also coincidentally be said about its owner).

Only when you got to the gate you remembered that you don't have any kind of pass or ticket with you, which meant that you were a bit stuck, so you shot a quick message to Toto.

"Hey, I'm back in front of the gate. Don't have a pass. Help please...?"

"Still in a meeting. Sending someone to get you."

The reply came almost immediately and while you waited, you started chipping away at the mountain of messages you were getting, mostly with just 2 words "No comment". But then you got to the notifications from different websites because of course you did. You will have to turn off the alert with your own name at least for a bit, because it looked like gossip sites found their next victim, and it was you. You still couldn't wrap your mind around how it happened because you were just a reporter. With a loyal following, but still. Your name was never mentioned in mainstream news, in a non-professional way, and now... Ehhh... And even though a few titles made you laugh (especially the one called "Little Red Hood and the Wolff", because you never thought that your red flowy dress would be a reason for such a header), you still turned the notifications off, because you knew from experience that reading about yourself wasn't exactly healthy.

When you heard the knock on the window you jumped and dropped your cell, because even though you were expecting someone, you got so deep into what was happening in your phone, that the outside world stopped existing.

- Hey Y/n, can I hop in? - Valtteri asked and you couldn't believe that Toto chose to send him. You were expecting an assistant, or literally, anyone else from the team, definitely not the driver.

- Hi! - you gave him a huge smile through the window. - Sure! - you quickly moved your bag from the front seat to the back, so he could have a place to sit. - Good to see you again! - you said when he was in the car.

- You too. - even though he was smiling, there was this nagging thought in the back of your head. It was the first time you saw him not in a professional capacity, so maybe you were just imagining things, but you still made a mental note to keep an eye on him. - Here's your ID, and you can get almost anywhere you want around the track with it, not counting other teams’ motorhomes and garages.

- Thank you so much for getting that for me. - you took the pass from him, put it around your neck, and started the car again to finally get to the track.

- Not a problem. By the way, I'm kind of jealous that he lets you drive this car... I asked so many times to take it for a spin… - you chuckled a bit, but you weren't surprised.

- Yeah, sometimes I can't believe it too... How are you by the way? - you drove up to the gate again and showed your fresh ID to the security guard, who checked something on his computer, but as soon as he saw, who was in your passenger seat - he instantly stopped and let you through.

- I'm good, thank you for asking. - and there it was, that feeling again. After all your years in journalism, you could tell when someone wasn't telling the whole truth, but you didn't know him well enough to dig deeper. Maybe one day...? - How about you? - he flipped the question on you, while you drove in the general directions of motorhomes.

- In the middle of a shitstorm I caused, but I don't want to scream or cry every 5 minutes, so I think I'm handling it pretty well. - this time his laughter was genuine, and you smiled.

- Yeah, you kind of sprung this on everyone, and people still have trouble believing it. Although Lewis is bragging to everyone who will listen, that he already knew. He didn't, did he...?- you couldn't help the laughter. Valtteri was surprisingly easy to talk to off-camera, but you couldn't help but wonder, how much of that was rehearsed behaviour and you couldn't wait to get to know the real him...

- Sorry to disappoint, but he did. - Bottas mumbled something in Swedish, which you suspected was a swear. - Not by much, but yeah. He found out yesterday after the qualis. - you offered a bit more information.

- Are you kidding? He's making it sound like he knew for months! - you couldn't help but laugh when you finally got to the familiar outline. Technically you were never inside any of the motorhomes, but up until yesterday, it was your job to know where everything was.

You reached back to get your bag and both of you left the car, and you double-checked if it was for sure locked.

- Well... I can tell you when we made it official between us... If that would make it even. - the driver opened the doors for you and with a gesture showed you which corridor to choose.

- I would love that. - he seemed genuinely excited to know more than his teammate, and you chuckled at that competitiveness.

- It was right after France last year, literally right after the race and right before my interview with Lewis. So, you can rub it in his face just a little bit. - you smiled, and his expression was more suited for a pirate who just found a cave filled with gold, but after a moment he got confused.

- Wait, I thought Toto said that your first date was in Berlin...? - Valtteri wanted to clarify.

- It was. Wait! You watched my live? - you were genuinely surprised.

- The whole team watched it on TV! Our PR and social media teams were pissed that they weren't informed about anything because they're kind of in crisis mode right now. - he laughed, but you didn't; you knew how intense managing this sort of news could be.

- Oh, shit... I didn't even think of that. I should have... I’ll have to apologize to them. - you said in a bit more serious tone, making a mental note about it. - But yeah, since all the teams were slowly getting to Austria, there was no chance for someone to look for either of us in Germany. So, we stayed in Berlin for a few days, went on a road trip to Prague, and then flew in to meet with everyone on track. - you got to the correct room just as the meeting was ending, at least that's what you assumed, because everyone was closing their laptops.

- Thank you for that! Can't wait to rub it in his face! - and then it finally clicked. You knew exactly how and what he felt, how could he not...? But you didn't want to talk about such a serious topic in the middle of the corridor, just as you were getting to know him. But soon...

- Just not too much! And Valtteri...? - you said just as he started to walk away after accomplishing the mission of delivering you to Toto, but he turned around. - Take care of yourself, ok? - he looked confused for a second, but very quickly shook it off and replace it with a smile.

- I will! - you knew that wasn't the whole truth.

- Pinky promise? - you asked, extending your little finger in his direction, masking your seriousness with a burst of small laughter. You could see the hesitation on his face when he looked at you, trying to figure something out.

- Pinky promise. - he eventually said in a much quieter voice, but he wrapped his pinky around yours and you shook on it. - See you around, Y/n! - and just like that he was back to his happy, bubbly self,

And that's exactly when Toto saw you through the glass doors and invited you in with a gesture.

- Hi everyone! - you put on a giant smile while you pushed the door and entered the room. You recognized few of the people on the team, but definitely not all of them. There were a lot of greetings at the same time, so you weren't exactly sure who said what, but Toto immediately pulled you into his lap as soon as you were within reach, and placed a soft kiss on your temple. You couldn't help but notice the surprise on a some faces, and you wondered if it was the first time they saw their boss this affectionate with anyone.

- So, most of you know who this lovely creature is... - he said, bouncing you a few times on his knees, which made you audibly laugh. - What you guys might not know... - he wanted to continue.

- They might... Apparently, the whole team watched our live together. - you cut him off with a quick comment, and by the look on everyone's face - you were right.

- Oh. - his face dropped as if the consequences of going public just got to him. - You were right then, Schatzi... The news indeed travels fast. - there were a few nervous chuckles from the team, but Toto quickly composed himself and started introducing everyone in the room, and you couldn't help but notice that they were either engineers or in aerodynamics.

Overall, it was nice, but meeting so many people at the same time still felt a bit alien. Even though you remembered the names, all the facts about them started to merge into one blob in your head, and you felt a bit bad about it because you cared, and you wanted to remember everything correctly. They were meeting just one person, while you already met at least 25, and that was not all.

Because after the engineering, Toto took you to PR and socials, to which you apologized profusely, and even though you saw how much work they had on their hands - they were super nice about it. They only asked you to make an official post with them and after good five minutes of brainstorming the ideas, and Toto looking super confused the whole time, the suggestion of using a "Nobody's gonna know" sound won, and you quickly let them film you mouthing the lines, so they could use it later when they'll have all the material.

And just as you were about to move on, Joanna came in and introduced herself without prompting, and asked you if you had your passport with you because she'll need to add you to the jet manifest for the next trip, which was apparently another thing Toto already thought about before you. Fortunately, you had it in your bag, because you just got it back from the hotel, so you passed it to her, and after a short "It's nice to meet you" she was gone, and you couldn't help feeling more and more like you made everyone's job much harder, and all that during race week.

Before you managed to spiral down deeper, Toto took you to the garage, where there were even more people to officially meet, and fortunately - down here - not every name and face were brand new, because you knew them from doing interviews around the pit, even if only in passing. But you had the chance to finally speak with them a bit more, and when you got to a young build component logistics coordinator, you instantly clicked, and Toto had to pull you away because you very quickly lost track of time. But before you went, you quickly exchanged numbers with Georgia; she was the first one from the team whom you did that with, but you couldn't help yourself. And as soon as left the garage, she sent you the pictures of her cat, exactly as she promised.

- You're going to have to make me a cheat sheet so I can learn everyone's name because right now I'm not sure I remembered even half... - you laughed quietly when the gust of fresh air hit you.

- Or you could just talk with everyone and get to know them naturally over time... - he chuckled, pulling you closer, to the point where you had to grab him not to lose your footing. - How was the checkout, by the way, everything went smoothly? - he asked when you started guiding him to the place you parked.

- Yup, no issues. I even got to say goodbye to my crew, which was nice... I didn't realize how much I needed it until it happened. - You pressed your cheek against his shirt, searching for more affection, and then you heard someone calling Toto's name. You instinctively turned that way, but all you saw was the camera flashing. You could hear the swear leaving your mouth, because you realized what was about to happen and it was already making you sick, so you quickly dove into your bag in search of the car keys; fortunately you weren't far away and Toto could just tell that something was different, even though he couldn't exactly name it, because until now his experience with journalists was tame. Sure, they got in his face with the cameras, but never to the extreme.

But this was no journalist... This was a fucking paparazzi. You realized that immediately when you saw that he was alone, with no crew, just a camera with a giant lens and even more of them fastened to his belt.

- Toto, we have to leave. Quickly... - you whispered, putting the keys in his hand, and when you looked over your shoulder again, the paparazzi was already running in your direction.

One look at you and Toto knew you were serious, so he placed a quick kiss on the top of your head, trying to calm you down. And even though you were trying your best not to show any fear in your expression, it started bubbling under your skin. You knew it wasn't rational, you knew you wouldn't get hurt, and you knew - if it came to anything - Toto would take the brunt of it until the security would arrive, but you couldn't help it. You witnessed it too many times to be ignorant of what could happen in the worst-case scenario.

As soon as you got to the car, he opened the door for you and made sure to close it before the paparazzi got closer, so he wouldn't be able to shove the camera right in your face. You heard the questions asked and they made your skin crawl, but Toto calmly circled the car, completely ignoring the camera and saying that he was not commenting on that at this time. He was cool, collected, and professional, and it calmed you down a little, especially when he got in the car and very quickly adjusted the seat without saying a word. He gave your knee a gentle squeeze before he turned the key in the ignition, and just as he did that, you noticed more paparazzi running in your direction.

The first one was blocking the front of the car and was still taking pictures and screaming questions, but Toto quickly put the vintage Mercedes in reverse and started driving away. He had to slow down when he got to the swarm of photographers trying to get a shot, and you slowly got surrounded to the point when it was hard to move even centimeters in a desired direction without hurting the vultures around the car. You subconsciously reached for Toto's hand and gripped it tightly with both of yours, while he did his best to maneuver the car in the direction of the gate to the sound of camera shutters and the flashing lights. You did your best to keep your expression neutral, but you were shaking with fear, your usual confident self currently forgotten; it was the first time ever you were in this type of situation, and even when you were with the press, you always condemned this kind of behavior.

But then the wave of anger overtook you. It wasn't normal. It shouldn't be happening. Neither of you deserved it.

You quickly unlocked your phone and even quicker started an unannounced live stream. Only a few seconds had to pass before people started to flood in. You were careful not to show Toto's face because this wasn't about him. This was about those bastards who were attacking you. You've waited a full minute before you said anything, but the comments were already on fire, getting furious right there with you.

- Someone asked me earlier today why we waited so long before sharing the fact that we're together. This is exactly why. Not because we don't respect you, not because we’re ashamed, not because there were any restrictions on either side, but because of this kind of people. - you made sure to show everything that was happening around the car. - Don't interact with this type of media because this is not journalism. This is assault. - you've added and you continued to stream without saying another word, and you felt Toto's hand gently resting on your thigh, and when he looked at him, there was a soft, comforting smile on his face. And that was enough to calm you...

You continued the live stream in silence for few more minutes until the security showed up and dispersed the crowd. After you ended streaming, you cross-posted the 7-minute video on all of your platforms and put your phone back in the bag.

You wanted to say something, to apologize, but you got the feeling, that if said even one word, all that anger you were currently experiencing would disappear and you would break. And you weren't ready to do that just yet, so you covered Toto's hand with your own and let his thumb glide over your skin.

You couldn't help but wonder if revealing your relationship to the media was worth it... The impulsive thoughts entered your head again, and even Toto's calming presence couldn't stop them. The relationship itself was something you could never regret, not in a billion years, but shining a light on it...? It was something that started making a spiky nest in your brain and filling it with doubts. Wouldn't it be better to just wait? At least till after the race, or even better - after the season, so neither of you would be so accessible, because now - everyone knew where both of you would be. Well, not every single minute, but during the races, and it was enough to get to the both of you. How long will it drag? How quickly people will get bored? Will you have to face the same treatment back home, or will it die down after the season? Or was it just a fluke and it won't happen ever again?

You didn't even register when you got back to the hotel, because the dark thoughts were clouding everything else. Only when the door on your side opened, you realized where you were. You took Toto's offered hand, but instead of reaching for your suitcase, you pulled yourself closer to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, while his chin rested on the top of your head, and his hands were gently running over your back. All the emotions finally spilled out in the form of tears you couldn't stop. Neither of you said a word because you simply didn't have to.

He knew exactly why you needed to do that, and you didn't have to apologize, because he wasn't blaming you for anything. It took you a few minutes to eventually stop the silent sobs, and he moved his hands to your face, to dry away the tears his shirt didn't manage to absorb.

- We're ok. - he said, and you gave him a weak smile.

- We're ok... - you echoed the thing you said every time something serious happened, because no matter what - you two were going to be ok, and it was enough to either push you to fight or to calm either of you down. And it worked wonderfully. He placed one last kiss on your forehead before you let him go.

You were just about to get your suitcase and bag from the car, but he was already doing that. He didn't tell you that he loved you very often, reserving it only for special occasions, but he showed it to you in everything he did, and it was much more powerful than any words.

You took the bag from him and put it over your shoulder, but he kept the suitcase in one hand, wrapping the other around you, and you did the same, hooking your thumb through a beltloop on his pants, only letting go when you were in your room again.

He didn't even take out his laptop this time, even though you knew he was itching to go over the graphs a few more times before tomorrow. Instead, he proposed watching a movie, so you wouldn't start thinking about all this craziness again because he knew that you eventually would, and he wanted to give you a few more moments of peace.

Both of you slipped into something more comfortable and while he was ordering popcorn from the hotel kitchen (which you thought was crazy, but it's not like either of you thought about buying it in the store), you chose a French romantic comedy about a secretary who took part in a typewriting contest and fell in love with her boss while training for said contest. And Toto didn't even bat an eye when you quickly summarized the plot because he simply didn't care; and as long as you were happy, he could watch a romantic comedy with you, and even make comments about the plot.

But the thing was... When the movie started, there was still adrenaline in your veins from before, and only when you were in his arms, your body started to relax and come down from that overdrive. And with Toto's warm torso against yours, and his gentle touches wandering mindlessly over your skin, you finally felt safe enough to let everything else go, and you didn't even realize that you fell asleep to the sounds of soft music from a dance scene coming on the TV.

Part 5

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

#my writing #Toto Wolff fanfiction #Toto Wolff x reader #🖤#📏#No Longer a Secret by G.

216 notes · View notes

randoimago · 9 months

Note

Hi! I was wondering if I could request a Caleb Widogast x reader confessing feelings while him and the reader are stargazing? Congratulations on 3000 follows by the way!

Brighter Than Any Star

Fandom: Critical Role

Character(s): Caleb Widogast

Type of Request: 3,000 Followers Oneshots

Note(s): Thank you!! Ngl I wrote this at work when the idea suddenly came to me. I did my best editing it when I got home but I hope you like it!!

It's a peaceful night outside. Inside, it's rowdy as the group drinks and parties, Beau even started an arm wrestling contest. But outside, it's quiet and serene.

Caleb went outside to get some fresh air and you followed, not wanting him to be alone. When Caleb is alone, he gets lost in his thoughts like a maze. And you know him well enough to know that those thoughts aren't always the most pleasant.

So you stand next to him, leaning against a bannister, as you both stare at the clear, night sky and watch the stars twinkling. It's a peaceful silence between you and your friend. But the silence also causes you to become wrapped in your own thoughts of "what ifs". And the main point of interest in those "what if" thoughts is the man standing next to you.

"Do you think Exandria is as flat as Veth claims it to be?" You ask Caleb. You know Veth's words are bull, but it's an easy topic to start a discussion. Especially when it's met with the amused chuckle from Caleb.

"Do you look up at that sky and think that this world is flat? That there's nothing above us and it's just an illusion?" Caleb retorts with a small smile on his lips. That smile causes you to feel more warmth than a falling star.

"I know that this moment could never be an illusion," you respond and Caleb gives a hum at your words. A light pink graces his face and it's prettier than any twinkling star above you.

It's a pleasant silence between you two, but this time you're sneaking glances at Caleb instead of keeping your eyes on the sky above you. You think you're being clever, that he doesn't notice. But he does. He might not notice as much as Caduceus, but Caleb always notices you.

"You keep looking at me," he says with a gentle tone. He's not accusing you, but he still lets you know that it's what he noticed. You start to feel a bit flustered at being caught in the act, but you sigh.

"I have," you admit. Maybe it's because it's just the two of you here in this moment or maybe it's because of the comfort you always feel in his presence. But a surge of confidence hits you and you make eye contact.

"I'm in love with you," you tell the wizard. He seems taken aback by your sudden claim and you feel that confidence dwindling a bit as you glance away from your friend. “I didn’t mean to fall for you.”

You're figuring out how to explain yourself. You're trying to come up with words as to why you're in love with him, hoping he acts and doesn't reject you outright.

“And neither did I.”

You don't want to lose him due to you confessing your feelings. You don't want things to change for the worse because of that misplaced courage. You haven't processed what the fuck he had just said.

“…Fucking pardon?” You can't help but blurt out when his words hit you like a meteor storm. You were deep in your thoughts of "what if" that you didn't hear the answer to one of your thoughts.

Caleb gives an amused smile as the blush on his face had deepened to a more prominent red on his pale skin tone. "I have also fallen for you," he tells you, his zemnian accent soft as if not to scare you away

It's another silence this time as you process what has just been said. But this time, the silence feels like it's on a time limit. Like one of you has to do something or it'll just remain an empty "what if".

But instead of thinking of this moment as a "what if" in the future, you focus on the present as your lips connect with his and his hands hold yours.

Two bright stars twinkle overheard, a constellation devoted to lovers celebrate this new step you and Caleb have made.

#kats 3000 follower celebration #critical role x reader #caleb widogast x reader #caleb x reader

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emocka · 1 year

Text

My loving queen

Tighnari x blind! reader (reader afab and slightly chubby) your also the cousin of kazuha

Side note I'm changing something as I have a piece called BITE ME coming out in a bit

Warnings: mention of blood, death (both small parts) slight angst fluff comfort

☆☆☆☆☆

You were born blind. No cure could be found so you learn to navigate the world by echo location. Clicking your tongue, you would hear the 'sound waves' bounce off various item and objects helping you walk around.

You had a good home growing up. Even learned how to dance something that was quiet challenging, but you managed it well.

That how you met him. Tighnari.

He first caught sight of you wandering around the forest. So, he went to help you.

'Hi. I'm Tighnari. What's your name?' He asked you. You looked over at him.

'I'm y/n. Can I ask for you to help me get home? I'm lost and this forest is throwing me off.' You said smiling.

He looked at you and noticed your eyes.

'Forgive my rudeness but...are you blind?' He asked.

You nodded.

'OK. Follow me.' He said then started launching into a lecture

Thats how the first meeting went. He found you again. This time you were returning home.

'Y/n? Returning home or lost?' Tighnari asked.

'Returning home now shush. I hear something'

He noted his surroundings then grabbed your wrist.

'Come on let's get you-OW!!!! Thats my foot!'

You stepped on his foot. The sound was bothering you. It was high pitched, and it made your ears hurt. You had to know what it was.

'The noise. Its hurting my ears.' You said covering them

'Oh, your other senses increase significantly, don't they?' Tighnari grabbed your hand 'come on. Ill investigate the noise later.'

You nodded and followed him.

'You should be careful when in the forest.' He started to say.

'I'm fine really. I may be blind but believe me when I say I can run. Now why don't you tell me about yourself? From the sounds I think you may have a tail.'

'Ah your hearing been enhanced. Yes, I do have a tail.' Tighnari started.

'Gimme tail.' You spoke. Tighnari looked at you bewildered.

No one ever dared asked to touch his tail much less demand to touch it.

'You're a strange girl.' He said quietly. 'Uh....sure.'

He held his tail out. You held it gently. As he studied your actions, he started to notice you more. You were slightly chubby but still healthy weight. Your (colored) hair gently flowing in the wind.

'So soft.' You said petting his tail. He looked at you.

'All right. That enough. Come on let's go home' he said. You nodded releasing his tail.

His heart stopped for a beat. Your smile was so angelic. So peaceful. He couldn't stop looking at you.

There was something about you. Something about your presences that made everything so serene.

'Let's go home.' He said again.

You nodded and followed him.

----

You both met up a few more times before everything stopped. You went missing. It was unusual for you to not cause chaos. So, when you didn't show up for the past week tighnari set out to find you.

Arriving at you place he noticed the door slightly opened. He grew concerned. Soon concerned turned into horror when he saw the scene.

You were surrounded by your dead family. Tied up You were unconscious. Tighnari checked to see if anyone else was alive but came back with nothing.

'Y/N. Hey you need to wake up. Come on' he shook you gently. 'I need to get you some help.'

You slowly came to. When you were fully able to process the heavy iron scent you cried. Tighnari carefully moved you. That caused you to scream. Some unknown person was carrying you.

'Hey, calm down it's just me. Tighnari. I'm trying to help you. It's ok. I promise.' With some convincing you were able to stop screaming. 'Ok let's get these off you.'

You ended up tuning him out while he took of the rope. After a few attempts to get the knots undone he succeeded and managed to get you free. He looked around and spot a blanket blood free. Walking over he grabbed it and walked back to you.

'Y/N can you stand up?' He asked. But you were still tuning him out. So, he tried again. Finally, you responded.

'Can you stand up for a second? Just one second, I promise.' You nodded and stood up slowly.

You started to fall after you got up but tighnari was able to catch you and wrap the blanket around.

'Come on. I'll take you to get checked up.' He scooped your legs up. Carrying you bridal style he looked around one last time and left the building.

----

'You want me to look into the murders of her family?' Cyno asked.

Tighnari nodded.

'I know it sound stupid, but I want her to have a piece of mind. She been sleeping so much lately. She says she doesn't want to wake up and face the reality.'

'I'll-' cyno stopped mid sentence and looked at you in disbelief.

Tighnari confused looked at you. You were still sleeping but next to you laid a vision. Suddenly a book fell from no where. Tighnari studied the vision.

'Celestia feels she meet the standards for a hydro vision' cyno stated. 'But how does a blind person qualify for a vision?'

'She did mumble about the world being an unfair place.' Tighnari said quietly.

You woke up.

'Tighnari?' You asked. You 'looked' in his direction.

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. Picking up the vision.

'Hold out your hand.' He said.

You did as told. Feeling something drop in it your world suddenly exploded.

'What's going on?' You panicked. 'Why am I seeing lines?'

The moment the vision touched your hand it gave you an outline of everything. You dropped the vision but the lines didn't disappear.

'It must have sensed your condition and accommodated to it.' Tighnari said holding your hand. 'I think it's giving you a mental image of everything surrounding you.'

He looked at the book. Realizing it was a catalyst he grabbed it. Putting it in your hand you whimpered quietly.

'I'm hearing a voice' you said.

Tighnari pulled you into a hug.

'The weapon was also made to accommodate your condition.' He cupped your cheek. 'Hey let's calm down.'

You nodded as he pulled you into another hug. Cyno looked at the two and left quietly.

'Hey. You feeling better?' Tighnari asked.

He felt you nod.

'OK. You feel better enough to get out?' He rubbed your back.

'I don't want to face the reality.' You started to tremble.

'Hey its ok. I promise. We all have to face it. Come on. I have a idea. We can go to sumeru city. Get you acquainted to some people.'

You whimpered quietly. Tighnari looked at you. You were very beautiful...tighnari shouldn't be thinking about that now.

'Come on if not sumeru city then here will do.' He gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder.

You started crying. He stopped when he saw your tears.

---

After a few days you finally got out. Asking collei where the nearest shower was. She smiled giving you directions forgetting your blind.

'Collei? Can you just walk me there? I do-ooooh wait. I see it' you said as the vision drew a line in your mental map.

You collected your things and followed the line. You cleaned up. Feeling better you got dressed. Tighnari had gone out and purchased some new clothes. The other one were beyond repair.

After you finished you walked back to tighnari place. Sitting on the bed you started thinking.

'Well now this is a surprise. Your up and about now.' He said smiling. 'What changed?'

You shrugged. He walked over to the bed and sat next to you.

'So what are you going to do now?' He asked.

You faced him.

'Tail gimme' you suddenly demanded.

Tighnari looked at you bewildered.

'Why must you demand my tail?' He asked.

'Gimme.' Was all you said.

He sighed. Turning around slightly he put his tail on your legs. He watched as you gently picked it up and buried your face in it.

'So soft.' You mumbled. 'Soooooft'

He chuckled as he watched the scene. You petting his tail while burying your face in it. He admired your figure. You were a little skinny something that could be dealt with overtime. You lost weight during your greiving. Your hair was longer.

'OK times up. I know you like my tail but I need it back.' He said as he moved his tail away from you. You whined.

'Come on. You don't know what to do right?' He said taking your hand 'follow me. You can be a forest ranger.'

'How would I be able to do that?' You asked.

'Trust me on this.'

-----

From the distance collei spotted tighnari pulling you along. You had a smile on your face. The world's brightest smile.

During the next few months tighnari trained you to be a forest ranger. Lisa was brought in to train you to use a catalyst.

Then came the crisis. Someone asked a sensitive question which earned a head smack and a severe tongue lashing from tighnari.

During that time you hid questioning everything. Tighnari assigned said person to the city as a punishment.

After some convincing and a accidental kiss you came out. Your bubbly personality a little quieter.

You nearly gave him a heart attack when you showed up with a baby avidia leopard.

'Why do you have a leopard?! Did you kidnap it? Oh archons why?' He panicked.

'Hush dear she sleeping. And the mother entrusted her to me. She ran off.' You said.

'What?!' He yelled.

You shushed him once more. Taking a blanket for the make shift bed you had you set it down on the ground. Folding it you laid the baby leopard on it gently. Walking away you sat down on his bed.

He faced palmed then sat besides you.

'We need to have a talk about this leopard....dear are you ok?' He looked over at you. You had discarded the jacket dumping it on the floor. Crawling in his bed you pulled the covers over your body. He grew concerned.

'Dear?' He asked 'is everything alright?'

'I'm just tired. Socializing takes a lot out of me now days.' You said.

Tighnari discard his shoes and crawled in behind you.

'May i?' He asked tapping your waist. You nodded.

He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you close to him. He draped his tail over your stomach.

*she's so cute and smells great* He thought. *I shouldn't be doing this.*

Right? Friends don't accidentally kiss. And they certainly don't cuddle while sleeping in the same bed.

Right?

---

'Traveler I assume you may know someone who can help nilou?' Dehya asked.

Aether nodded.

'What does the academy have against them?' Al haitham asked.

'She was spotted dancing in the city. They went after her but stopped when she ran off on water' aether said remembering the whole fiasco.

Tighnari was laughing hard when it happened. Aether was laughing too when one of the guards fell into the water going after you. The leopard made the other guards shrink back in fear.

'Together the two can buy us time.' He said.

'Are you talking about y/n? If you are she would be useful then.' Cyno said.

So with the plan in motion dehya and aether went out.

----

'Hey y/n?' Tighnari asked. 'Can you try working on the girl again?'

You nodded standing up from the ground. You were growing a sumeru rose. Your cousin kazuha who you met by chance had sent you a seed.

'After I'm done I'm heading to the city. I need to purchase a few things' you looked at him. Leaving the area you went to go heal the patient.

After that things went out of control.

----

Lighting was everywhere. Ruinsguards somehow got close to vimara village and to top it all off you had to fight those and the fatui agent sent after you.

There you stood in the middle of the river breathless.

You wanted to give up but you couldn't not with the children and eldery at risk.

'You are really testing my patience here.' You said.

The agent didn't answer instead sending its blade at you. You blocked it. You knew help wasn't coming anytime soon. So you did the unthinkable.

'Test my patience again' you muttered. With the rivers help you were able to defeat the agent taking the ruin guard down.

'Oh good.' You started 'I just want to...'

Everything blurred then went black.

----

'Is she ok?' Tighnari asked. The leopard had rescued you from the river. With a little assistance you were brought back. Straight to pardis dhyai.

'She's unconscious. How did she get this injury?' Dehya asked as she examined your hand 'why is she soaking wet? Did she lock weapons with someone?'

Tighnari walked over to you. He felt your forehead and sighed.

'She's running a fever too.' He began but piamon rushed in with aether behind.

'Ruin guards were activated! vimara village was under attack!' She began 'we don't know who or how but they took out eight Ruin guards and two fatui agents. The traveler went to help.'

'Calm down piamon. Calm down' Aether began.

'But i have to tell them about the river!' She said. 'The river! That the part they need-'

'What about the river?' Tighnari asked looking at you.

'When we arrived someone had managed to move the river that runs through vimara village.' Aethe said. 'Its back in place....'

He trailed off as he looked at you. You were soaking wet. Everyone stared at you. The tighnari broke the silence.

'So....I should probably send a letter to Lisa. Ask if she knows someone who can help her hone her skills. Preferably someone with a hydro vision.' He sat on the edge of the bed. 'Can everyone leave?'

Everyone left.

'You did all that by yourself. You were probably scared out of your mind.' He cupped your cheek 'you must have been terrified. Yet you managed to take them out. Even managed to control a river too.'

'It was. No back up, and I was new to combat.' You said. You woke up.

You sat up wincing.

'Im so proud of you.' He said.

He leaned in close. You followed suit. The both of you kissed. After a minute you pulled away.

'Tighnari? What are we?' You asked him. You remained close to him.

'I don't know. All I do know is that I feel the need to protect you.' He rubbed his nose against yours. 'And the feelings I get being close to you makes me warm. I know friends shouldn't kiss or cuddle but we do. Everything we do I get so happy it makes me purr'

He pulled you in his lap.

'I want to be something different with you. I want to be in a relationship with you.' He nuzzle your cheek.

'But I'm blind.' You said quietly. 'I'm a chubby per-'

'I don't care about those.' He murmured in your ear wrapping his tail around you. 'Your beautiful.'

He brushed his lips against your cheek. It became silent. You both listened to everything going on around you. Piamon could be heard in the distance.

Then you heard a strange sound. Listening carefully you realized it was coming from in front of you. Burying your head in his neck you listened.

'You do purr' you said.

Tighnari nodded. Readjusting your position he managed to lay down with you on top.

'Tighnari?' You said into the bed. 'Do you really love me?'

'Yes.' He tightened his grip on you. It went silent.

'I love you tighnari.'

'I love you too'

#yaepublishinghouse #genshin #genshin impact #tighnari fluff #tighnari x reader #tighnari #emocka blind series #emocka.writes

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