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#let alone being so loved that i know without a doubt they love me
starqueensthings · 22 hours
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We need to talk about Echo (and by talk I mean screm). S3 E13 + 14 Spoilers!
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FRIENDS, I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. I need to talk about Echo for a minute. We need to talk about Echo for a minute,  because he has spent the last two episodes in the absolute thralls of complete and total danger, and I personally don't feel like there's been enough of a celebratory uproar for me to be satisfied with the level of appreciation and love that man deserves. (Remember when Hunter ran face first into a colossal exhaust pipe and we all collectively lost our minds because it was so impressive and so sexy? Remember when Tech drove a speeder really fast through a tunnel and we all fainted? I'M A TECH GIRLY. IT WAS ME! I FAINTED!!) but, Y'ALL, Echo deserves that right now!! And for all eternity!!! Because he is wholly submurged in the harrowing potential of torture and execution, and he didn't even bat an eye to put himself there. My awe of him is all-consuming, so please forgive me if this rant reads as nothing but incoherent screaming. 
Echo haters (first of all, we can't be friends....) come on this journey with me! Let's back pedal to the beginning of the last episode (13). He stole an imperial shuttle. Let me repeat, he stole an imperial shuttle. And not just an attack shuttle. Not just a lil one-pilot transport. Bro somehow stole a Rho-class medical transport, which is very large, obscenely conspicuous, and very easily tracked. And, to use his own words, it was "the best he could do on short notice." The man stole a shuttle on short notice. ON SHORT NOTICE? HELLO, HOW DID HE DO THAT. WHY AIN'T WE LOSING OUR COOL ABOUT IT. 
Next stop on this I-love-Echo journey through my mind: not only did he provide his brothers transportation in the complete void of their own (RIP havoc bb), but he also came equipped with intel and clearance codes, and, as Rampart stated, those things change DAILY. Echo somehow procured top secret imperial clearance codes, and a fkn SHIP, within hours of the Batch requesting his help. Not to mention, the ship had yet to be reported missing (which means it was only-freshly commandeered), and the clearance codes worked. Of course they did. Echo never fails. Never doubt Echo. "Echo's on it."  
Choochoo, next stop! Once they arrived on that station orbiting Coruscant, and made their way to the control room (lookin sexy as heck in his armour-au-noir), he broke imperial encryption, hacked into the Imperial database, almost instantly found them the location of a ship departing for the prison that holds their daughter Tantiss, AND THEN DIDN'T EVEN HESITATE TO CLIMB ABOARD AND STOW AWAY.  
He didn't even remotely have a plan, or have time to make a plan. He didn't know who or what else would be on board that mysterious vessel. He didn't know where it was going other than the name of the fkn mountain (which has proven to be nothing but unhelpful thus far). He just ARC-troopered his way through that crowded hangar, dodging aggressive astromech's and inconsiderate loader droids, shirking from the perspective eyes of highly trained commandos, and snuck his way onto a heavily guarded, extremely unknown science vessel. Then, of course, he wasted no time, hacking into the ships control system (may I gently remind- there were at least three pilots and an officer prepping the ship for jump and closely watching all aspects of its controls), disabling the proximity sensors without being detected, and then seamlessly covered the troopers absence by pretending to be him (which we all know is what should have happened on Serenno but... hindsight is 20/20.)  
So... SO.... now we're at Episode 14. Here we at fkn terrified station because HULLO ECHO IS ALONE ON A SCIENCE DIVISION TRANSPORT; we have literally seen them carry around Zilo beasts in that shit. What the heck else could be on there that they don't know about? Literally anything. Because THEY KNEW NOTHING before attaching themselves to it. Echo knew NOTHING before sneaking onto that thing and creepin' around. Thank heck he didnt come across a fkn fresh wave of slither vines ok?  
NEXT, Echo shoots (not stuns- lol) a sassy fkn droid (they had it coming, not sorry), then another trooper. AND THEN discovered his only option for departing the ship once it enters atmosphere is going completely undercover, because (in true "we improvise everything" CF99 fashion that gives me heart burn just thinking about it), they had zero fkn plan to get off the ship. I will repeat: completely undercover. On Tantiss. COMPLETELY UNDERCOVER ON TANTISS. NO COMMS, NO BACK UP, NO RECON, NO PLAN, BARELY ANY GEAR, and I would just like to stress... no neuro brace. He left his neurobrace on that ship. Left it. LEFT IT AND TOOK A HAND INSTEAD. PLEASE FKN SEDATE ME.  
We can't leave this station yet... This I-love-Echo train needs to linger at this point for a sec because I think it's lost on some people how wild this is. Echo without his neurobrace is huge. It's a bigger deal than Echo without his armour. Armour is, in the grand scheme of things, inconsequential (one can find more- see Howzer). Echo's neurobrace is not armour, it's a computer and it's so so so crucial to how his mind processes information and events. Don't forget, the Technounion HIJACKED HIS BRAIN. They took every memory from him and manipulated it for their gain. Pruned it, tweaked it, blanched it, poached it, turned it into scrambled eggs, and then fkn ate it up and used it to defeat their enemies (Echo's family- I'm sobbing). They implanted him with an unfathomable amount of information; they changed the way the neurons in his brain fire in relation to stimuli. That neurobrace is so so critical for him. Now, we know he can operate well enough without it, we saw it in the last episode of the TBB arc in season 7 of Clone Wars, but... please.... to what extent? We don't know what an extended time without that neurobrace looks like for him... especially when all other aspects compliing his surroundings foreign, unknown, and dangerous, and that scares me.
AND NOW HE'S ABOUT TO RUN AMOK IN TANTISS with Emerie who, (I'm sorry) is wishy-washy as heck (who are you loyal to!!!!! What is your history!!! Are you trustworthy and what are you looking to gain!!!), trying to adopt a collection of Jedi children whove spent maker-knows how long playing space tetris, WHILST ALSO ATTEMPTING TO LOCATE AND ESCAPE WITH HIS BROTHERS UNDER THE EYE OF THE GALAXY'S SECOND MOST DANGEROUS MAN. 
So yes, short of d-d-d-di... can't say it... short of THE WORST CASE, Echo has made the ultimate sacrifice to save not only Omega who is literally the only person we've seen able to make him truly laugh, but all the clone brothers that he's been desperately trying to locate and rescue. His bravery and determination are literally unrivalled, and he did it while feasting on nothing but humble pie because that man wouldn't know arrogance if it danced naked under his perfect nose.  
Okay so welcome, we've finally pulled into I-Love-Echo station. Before departing the ride, please stand and do a hip hip hurray for the miracle that is Echo, including but not limited to, everything he's done, is doing, and is willing to do for other people. 
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slayfics · 3 days
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Eijiro teaches you how to use his headpiece.
1.2k words
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“You guys are all wrong,” Minoru declared. “Yaoyorozu has the best hero costume.”
“Can you not be a perv just once Mineta!” Mina yelled, bonking him on the head.
You all had been discussing who had the best hero costume in the common room of the dorms before Minoru interrupted with his own opinions.
You rolled your eyes ignoring him and moving on, “Kirishima, I think your costume is pretty cool,”
“What really?!” The redhead perked up on the couch.
“No way! How is that any less of a pervy answer than Mineta?! Come on, what about me? My jacket is pretty cool!” Denki said eager for attention.
Mina ignored Denki’s desperate cry for praise and turned to you, “It is kind of an interesting choice since Kirishima’s costume is basically just pants,” Mina giggled.
Your cheeks flushed at your friend’s words, “No no! I’m not trying to be a creep or anything!” You backtracked.
“It’s ok don’t worry! I uh- didn’t think that” Eijiro said blushing alongside you.
“I was thinking about your headpiece when I answered, you designed it yourself?? It looks so cool!” You spoke trying to redeem yourself.
“Nah- don’t lie. You just like watching him run around without a shirt,” Denki huffed.
“Leave them alone man!” Eijiro said shoving Denki off the couch. “Yeah, I designed it myself,” he spoke turning his attention back to you. A prideful smile on his face from your praise.
“That’s really impressive!” You smiled. “How does it work?? Is it hard to get on?”
“The thing breaks every time he’s in a fight! It’s not that impressive…” Denki mumbled to himself on the floor.
Eijiro ignored him and answered, “It just latches on- it’s pretty simple. I can go grab it and show you.” He offered.
“Oh-ok!” You blushed, as he sprang off the couch to head up to his dorm.
“Wait!” Mina called. “Why don’t you just go upstairs with Kirishima? Then he doesn’t have to make so many trips up and down the elevator,” Mina suggested with a sly smile.
“Are you kidding me?!” Denki exclaimed, but Mina covered his mouth.
“Go you two!” Mina encouraged, shooing at you both with her free hand.
“I uh-,” you hesitated on the couch.
“It’s ok with me,” Eijiro spoke but quickly added- “I mean as long as you’re comfortable with it!”
“I am, as long as you don’t mind me in your room,” you answered.
“Go go go, we’ll be here. Right, Kaminari?” Mina said aggressively to him. Denki giving up just nodded and rolled his eyes at Mina.
“Alright let’s go,” Eijiro waved at you to follow him, with ab apprehensive smile.
Once you both were out of earshot Mina let out a laugh. “Man, they need so much help,” she declared.
“Maybe but- you don’t have to be pushing them together,” Denki complained.
“Oh, get over it. They have been crushing on each other for a long time now.” She answered.
The elevator ride up to Eijiro’s room was long and filled with awkward conversation.
“Could I get in trouble for being here?” You asked nervously.
“Nah I doubt it- besides I’m just showing you how my headpiece works right? I suppose that could be useful to know in the future if we’re ever teamed up together,” Eijiro justified.
“Yeah, you’re right,” you agreed nodding happily.
You both made your way to his dorm door. You briefly remembered what his dorm looked like when your class held the dorm competition- but when Eijiro opened the door it was more intense than you remembered. The bright red curtains brought a whimsical sense to the room, and the posters covering the walls illuminated the room with his personality.
“Oh wow,” you exclaimed following him inside.
“I know I know- I already heard it from Hagakure. It’s not a very appealing room,” Eijiro said sadly.
“No! I love it!” You sang.
“What really?! Thanks,” he said smiling and blushing as he looked around for his hero costume. “All right, here it is!” he said, pulling his headpiece out.
Eijiro sat on his bed, and you nervously followed his lead sitting next to him.
“It’s easy I just put it on like this-,” he said placing it on, “then lock into place on the side.” The headpiece made a snapping sound as he locked it in.
“Oh, I guess that is really easy,” you laughed nervously feeling silly for asking how it worked now. “Can I see it?”
“Yeah, sure!” He answered and took off the headpiece, handing it to you.
It was heavier than you expected and cold to the touch. "Wow, this doesn't bother you?"
"Nope! Keeps me protected from getting hit in my weak spots," He answered.
"Can I try?" You asked.
Eijiro nodded and chuckled in amusement thinking it was cute you wanted to try on a part of his costume, but when you moved closer and placed your hands around his head he froze. He hadn't realized you meant you wanted to put it on for him.
Eijiro felt his breath catch in his throat as you were just inches away from him carefully placing his headpiece on.
You secured the metal piece around his face before catching sight of him staring intently at you. His gaze made your hands start to shake as you went to snap the headpiece in place. His vermillion eyes sparkled as he looked at you with a bashful smile.
The warmth of your hands on either side of him was intoxicating and he felt how could get lost there when suddenly, "Ow!" he yelped.
Your shaking hands had caused you to pinch the side of his face as you snapped the headpiece together.
"OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY!" you exclaimed springing up off the bed.
"It's ok!" Eijiro said, reaching his hand out to reassure you.
You wanted to believe him, but you saw a drop of blood drip down to his cheek.  
"NO, YOU'RE BLEEDING!" You yelled, horrified with yourself. You booked it to his bathroom to find some first aid supplies. Eijiro followed behind you- blushing at you rummaging through his stuff in a panic.
"It's ok promise- but let me help you!" He offered.
"Oh man, you're right! First, I hurt you then I rummage through your stuff without asking! I'm the worst!" You proclaimed, dropping your head into your hands.
"No no! Really, it's not a big deal!' Eijiro said attempting to calm you as he brought out a band-aid.
"Here let me help you please!' You begged.
Eijiro smiled sweetly and handed you the band-aid and a cloth, then took his head headpiece off so you could inspect the injury.
Your eyes misted at the sight, "I'm so sorry- that looks like it hurt." You sniffed and dabbed at the injury gently with a cloth to clean off the blood. You moved closer to tend to him, and Eijiro once again felt lost in your close presence.
He smiled down at you, cheeks tinting as your hands grazed his cheek to place on the band-aid. "Believe me- I'm not even thinking about that right now," he said voice low and sultry.
You caught his gaze and blushed at realizing how close you had come to him in your panic. A blush dusted your own cheeks as you tilted your head and asked, "What are you thinking about then?"
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sinners: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @derangedmango @reneinii @zanarkandskylines @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55
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moonlit-heartbreak · 17 hours
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Love Languages
Xaden, Liam, Bodhi, Garrick x Reader Warnings: Slight spoilers for FW and IF, some suggestive comments and themes but nothing too explicit a/n: I love these men a little bit too much, so now you all get to enjoy my takes on each of their love languages for my first post🤭. It’s a little short and all over the place, but once my finals are over expect some longer works. Definitely let me know what you all think!
Xaden - Acts of Service
Listen, he's an important guy both as wingleader and a lieutenant and now in being on the front lines of a war, so he has to make sure to keep everyone's respect, and of course keep them all a little scared of him, so he can't get all lovey-dovey with you in public
Instead I see him being big on acts of service. Leaving you an extra piece of bread he grabbed at breakfast that morning, sharpening your swords/daggers so you're set to go for training, things of that nature
He would want to be there for you and let you know that he's looking out for you and acts of service is the perfect way for him to do that subtly but still being more involved in directly making you happy
Don't get me wrong though, when you're alone the acts of service definitely don't stop and he's good at what he does. With this I don’t mean JUST sex (even though it’d be amazing), but he would also love to brush your hair, give you a massage, whatever he can do to make you feel loved and cared for after a long day of classes and training
If there’s something specific you liked back home like a specific snack or item just know that once he finds out he’s going to be bribing one of the fliers to get it for him during a supply run so he can surprise you with it just so he can see your face light up
It works out perfect for you because not only is he making you feel like the most special person in the world with everything he does for you and how well he knows you, but getting perks like him keeping you off the schedule for your least favorite chores doesn't hurt either
The moral of the story is that he would literally do anything to make you happy, and despite how tough he acts you've got him completely wrapped around you finger
Liam - Words of Affirmation
For someone who's experienced so much loss before, he still manages to be SO kind and caring and this would 100% come through in the way he acts with his significant other, especially in terms of how he speaks to them
In public this would probably come off more as supportive and encouraging comments, helpful tips for training, or even just a quick compliment thrown in here or there. He's one of the more laid back out of all of the guys, but he still knows not to let his kindness be mistaken for weakness or allow anyone to try and use you against him, so he's careful to keep a good balance of keeping his guard up and being sweet with you
With that though, neither of you really have anything to worry about. He's the strongest cadet in his year and he trusts that you can hold your own so he'd still be pretty open with you in public
He's the type of guy who would never want to say goodbye without an 'I love you" thrown in there, even if you'd had a disagreement or you're (somehow) upset with him. Words are so important to him and he's going to make sure to tell you how he feels no matter what
I mean think about it, with all those letter he wrote to Sloane this man is a master at communication and he knows how to do it well
SO good at reassuring you. Ever doubting yourself or your abilities? Worried you’re not being a good enough partner? Nervous about opening up to him about something? He knows exactly what to say to calm you down or make you feel better every single time without fail. He just has such a way with words, and when he speaks to you in that soft "everything's going to be alright" voice there's no way you wouldn't feel at least a bit better
I have no doubt in my mind that he would have the sweetest nicknames for you and know exactly what to say when you need it, he’s just the sweetest thing to grace the continent and you’ll be reminded of that every time he speaks his sweet words that make your heart flutter
Bodhi - Physical Touch
This man... I definitely see him lovinggg physical touch. He needs you like he needs air to breathe and he isn't afraid to let the rest of the world know it
He's a confident guy so naturally he'd love to show off his significant other; walking with an arm slung over your shoulder or around your waist, sitting right next to you during meals so that your arms and legs brush against each other, holding hands or even just loosely linking your fingers together while you study, he loves it all
You two have definitely been told to get a room once or twice during training when your sparring sessions get a little too intense (gods bless the innocent bystanders who have to bear witness to that, especially the poor boys who are practically his brothers)
Obviously he knows how to balance his leadership responsibilities with spending time with you so he knows when he has to take a step back and get serious, but trust me, every chance he gets he's finding a way to be right next to you
When you guys are alone... oh boy get ready to be next to him all night long. Whether you’re laying together on one of your beds just talking before you settle in to sleep for the night, sitting on his lap while you both work on your own assignments, showering together, he’ll find a way to make everything a team effort just to be as close to you as possible
Don’t worry though, he knows when to give you your space so if there’s ever a day where you simply want a little alone time he would never push any boundaries and would respect whatever you wanted. However, if you’re trying to avoid him because you’re upset or anything of that nature he’s going to figure out what’s wrong and make sure you’re alright
Bodhi Durran the man that you are... At the end of the day he would be such a sweet partner to you and all of his actions, from full on cuddling to just brushing past each other briefly in the hallway, proves to you every day that he adores you
Garrick - Quality Time
Garrick is definitely more on the serious side, especially in public, but don't underestimate him as a partner because this man knows how to make you feel loved
Being close to you serves multiple purposes for him; it lets him keep an eye on you to make sure you're safe, and it simply brings him the sense of comfort he always gets from being near you
He’s super secure in himself and you, not doubting either of your abilities or your love for one another but just getting to be around you makes him happy. Whether it be sitting together to study, you talking his ear off about whatever antics you and your squad got up to that day, or even just training at the same time even if you’re on opposite sides of the gym sparring with different partners. Spending time with you or just being near each other is how he shows that he's there for you and that he loves you so he'll take whatever time he can get
With spending so much time with you and the fact that he’s a very observant guy, he would be able to read you like a book. There’s no hiding how you’re feeling because he’ll pick up on all of your little tells and know exactly how to go about making you feel better
Along with how observant he is and how deeply he knows you, I also feel like he would give amazing advice too. Disagreement with a friend? Not able to get the hang of a new weapon you’ve been training with? Stressed about an exam and not sure how to study? He has advice for all of it, and he knows when to step in and help you but also when you’ll want to be left alone to figure things out yourself
Whenever you both get a day off (which wouldn’t be often, I mean you have a war to prepare for) it’s always spent together. When you’re able to get some time together in Aretia, he’d take you to some tucked away corner of Riorson House him and Xaden would hang out in as kids just so you could get a few uninterrupted moments alone together, which you both cherish more and more as you inevitably get busier
He might be one of the most intimidating out of all of his friends and arguably out of most other riders as well, but underneath that sexy muscly exterior, he’s got a crazy soft spot for you; and while it might not be fully apparent to anyone who isn’t looking closely enough, you know just how much he loves you and that’s all that matters to the two of you
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moonydustx · 3 days
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please make your cowboy carter ace fic….bonus points if it’s to bodyguard bc i can’t listen to that song without thinking of him 🥰
Hey Hey! I loved your request, it was a great help because I was in a cruel doubt between Bodyguard, Levii's Jeans (I mean, I would love to be called by him or call him pretty little thing) and II Hands II Heaven (this is the anthem of my life). To add to my WIPs, as soon as I have time I want to do the classic of him being the bodyguard (all that incredible thing about super protective Ace), this time, our favorite F!Reader is the bodyguard of the moment.
I hope you enjoy!
We've been hurtin', but it's happy hour
Based on the song BODYGUARD, by Beyoncé
F!Reader x Portgas D. Ace
Warnings: Mentions of the events at Marineford, but here we have a happy ending with everyone coming out alive. A little angst and a little spicy at the end, best friends to lovers.
Summary: A few months passed after Ace escaped from Marineford. When Ace goes out alone for the first time, you decide to accompany him and end up exposing your feelings.
*Italics are for flashbacks and parts of the song
requests open | one piece masterlist
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Some things still didn't seem real to you. It was as if his presence was still a breath away from disappearing before your eyes. Even though a few months had passed after the whole situation in Marineford, you sometimes felt trapped in a cloud of fear and overprotection over Ace.
That's why when you met your father's eyes, you knew you had his permission for your little private mission. Be Fire Fist's personal bodyguard. You would never complain about that, the closer you were to your best friend, the easier it would be to understand that everything was real and that in the end, despite some casualties and all the chaos caused, everything was fine.
"I still don't know what's going on in your head." Ace grunted pulling you out of the Striker. "Are you really going to be my shadow today?"
"For your happiness, yes." You stood next to him, with slow steps the two of you began to leave the pier and head into the village. "I know it's a simple thing, just getting some information, but I need to keep my eye on you."
"Try to keep up with me then." Ace started to get in the middle of some vendors, disappearing from your sight.
You thought it would take longer to complete such a mission, but just a few hours later, before sunset, Ace and you had already collected what you needed. Moby Dick was waiting for the two of you some distance away, but even so, Ace didn't seem at all concerned about following the route home as soon as possible.
"Just a little hour." he asked, pulling you towards a crowded bar. "A little hour just for me to socialize, remember what it was like and then we'll leave."
"An hour set." you gave up and followed him.
Be your bestfriend, I'll protect you in the mosh pit And I'll defend you in the gossip You know how people like to start shit and pop shit
Outside the bar, people were already gathering to the loud sound of music, glasses of drinks were piled up in addition to some couples huddling together. Inside, it was almost impossible to breathe. Before you could even consider relaxing, some curious looks turned towards the two of you - either going unnoticed or being solemnly ignored by Ace.
Even though two months had already passed since what happened, the news and developments of all the mess that the Whitebeard pirates made still sounded fresh to other pirates.
"Hey, relax. Let's enjoy it like old times, shall we?" Ace pulled you and now you walked in front of him. His hands clung to your shoulder, guiding you as the two of you entered the crowd. Memories of a lighter time floated through your mind.
"I hated this place." you muttered to Ace as soon as they entered a tavern. The rustic place smelled of the worst quality alcohol and was full of strange faces.
"And I loved it! Come on, just give it a chance." Ace leaned against the counter and signaled that he wanted two shots to the man serving him. "It may look a little ugly, but the drink can't be that bad."
Poor Ace, fooled in both situations. First, the drink was horrible, but for the few bucks it was still worth it. However, worse than that, just a few men who kept looking at you strangely and calling you.
"Ace? Can we go?" you asked and like in many other situations - and like friends, Ace pulled your body against his, making it clear that you were supposedly accompanied.
"Stay calm." the smell of whiskey invaded your sense of smell when he bent down to your neck to speak. "Let's just finish this drink. And you can leave it to me, those assholes won't come near."
"Are you feeling uncomfortable?" he asked, pulling you back into that noisy reality that was much more crowded than the old tavern. "Do you see anything strange?"
"Nothing else." you shook off your serious expression with a wave of your hand. "I'm just not used to going out, not anymore."
"Does that mean you got rusty during the time I was away?"
"It's just that I was kind of busy trying to save your hot ass." you punched him lightly, earning a groan from Ace.
"Next time, I'll let Marco know so he can keep an eye on you and not let you get moldy." he returned the small punch you gave, much lighter. Your serious look already anticipated your response. "Okay, no next time."
"Thank you my dear." You said cynically, sneaking away and finding a small couch, with enough space for the two of you. "Do you mind if we stay a little further away from all the mess today?"
"Yes for now, how about some drinks?" he suggested and barely waited for your response, standing up and heading towards the counter.
Almost automatically, your eyes followed him, every gesture, every movement that Ace made. Your attention was only diverted from him to the small space next to you sinking. A much older man, part of his face burned, put his arm behind you.
"I see it's Fire Fists' companion. How many did you take down? A few hundred if I remember."
"What do you want?" you cut him off immediately, taking your eyes off Ace for just a few minutes to observe him.
"Gossip spreads fast about how Ace is back in action. Just as people like to talk shit, they might want to start doing shit." He bent down, stopping next to your ear. "I would hate to have to put such a beautiful face in the crossfire, in the middle of the little party we are going to have."
"I see you've already met Ace." you pointed to the burn mark on it. "I see some of your companions around here too, so pass on the news: I can take down one by one of you without needing any fire. Plus, I don't think your business would get along well with my other companions anchoring here on the island and having a little… like you said, little party?"
"Fire Fists got an aggressive bodyguard, I liked it." He touched your chin and stood up. "When you need a new crew…"
"I didn't even have time to come back with the drinks and you're already causing problems?" Ace's teasing tone caught both of your attention. You just nodded and the man who had threatened you left you and your companion alone. "What happened?"
"He just bothered me and I didn't really like the way he said some things." you shrugged, not wanting to delve deeper into this discussion. "And everything went well there?"
"Well, I got our drinks and made friends!" he waved at a blonde woman who was leaning against the counter. The evil look, the provocative clothes, maybe friendship wasn't exactly what she was looking for. "She said she'll come here later."
"Oh yes." you took the glass from his hand and downed it in one gulp. "I think I'm done drinking, would you like another one?"
Ace just looked at you and if it were possible, you knew there would be a question mark drawn on his face. Ace already knew you well enough to know that it was a small twinge of jealousy on your part and it had been a while since he was entertained by that, maybe today would be a good night.
"Two more drinks please." you asked, stopping next to the blonde that Ace had waved at, cynically you turned to her. "Ah, you, Ace's new little friend!"
"Yes, it's me, how can I help you."
"Friend of that pirate, burnt face and such?" you pointed out and saw her turn pale. "Very old strategy, dear, occupy him, threaten someone else or the opposite. I'll give you a chance, forget about him and then you can find another idiot to fall for your little talk."
"What if I don't want to?"
"I believe you will." the words came out without you even wiping the smile off your face. You reached for the two glasses and went back to where Ace was waiting for you.
"She was with that idiot, wasn't she?" he asked and saw you nod. "I'm an idiot."
"I don't even have to agree for you to know for sure." you replied, earning a smile from him.
They couldn't catch you they never will Sometimes I hold you closer just to know you're real Tell me your problems (I got you), I take how you feel I show you an exit, when you're restless I take the wheel
Even sitting down, your body swayed slightly to the rhythm of the music, as you filled Ace in on the little adventures that happened in the time he was away. He had already heard most of it, but it made a difference to hear it from your mouth. A few good drinks later, you felt your body more relaxed and Ace's head weighed against your shoulder.
"Can I confess something to you?" Ace leaned on your shoulder, his lips almost touching your earlobe. "I was worried."
"About what?" your voice was barely heard over the loud beats of the music.
"About my days away." he began, keeping the minimum distance with your skin. "Our old man gave me a lecture that I'll never forget, Marco didn't talk to me for weeks, Izou didn't talk to me either and when he started talking again, he pointed a pistol at my head." He laughed at his own comment, letting his face rest for a few brief seconds against your skin. "And you… You continued to treat me normally, I mean, you practically became my bodyguard today, but still…"
"Do you think I didn't care about you?" your breaths were millimeters apart as you turned to face him.
"I just wish things would go back to normal as soon as possible, I just wish I could have taken this little time with my best friend, but I feel like you're worrying too much." he confessed and you thought for a few seconds, thinking it was nothing but fair to make your feelings clear to him.
"As soon as you left, I felt like something bad was going to happen, I cried for all the days you were gone, even more so after we found out about Impel Down and you know how much I hate crying." the two of you still stared at each other, even with the small laugh that escaped your lips. "Just like I still cry with joy when I wake up after a nightmare about all that and I'm forced to go look in your room and you're there, snoring."
"I did not know that."
"Ace…" you sighed, controlling your own emotions. "This here." You pointed to the entire bar around it. "This mostly." You touched his skin and Ace noticed your fear. "It still doesn't feel real, I feel like it's still not real, you're safe…"
Preventing you from continuing to deposit all your fears in him, Ace's arms wrapped you in a tight hug, unlike the lively music that played around the two of you, it was as if everything was in slow motion. You allowed your face to sink into the back of his head and he effortlessly pulled you to sit on his lap, a new gesture in your friendship.
"Every time you feel this…" his voice reached your ears muffled. The contact with his skin made the sound of Ace's pulse even more vivid. "Every time you think it's not real, just hug me, okay? I promise I'll be here."
You stayed like that for a few minutes, both of you with your eyes closed, just feeling each other without even giving a damn about the others who were passing by and looking.
"I said I would live without regrets, but if I died there, I would have only one regret." Ace pulled you to face him.
"And what would be?"
"Miss this chance."
His lips met yours, a small peck as if asking permission to explore an infinite number of possibilities. When he moved just a few millimeters away from you, it was you who urgently pulled him back. The heat emanated not only from Ace's body, but mainly from his lips, from the saliva that mixed with yours, from the friction that your hips sought against his.
"Hey." He pulled away again and brought his hand to your face, with his touch you noticed the presence of some tears. "I think we've suffered enough, it's time for the happy hour."
Taking you off his lap, Ace took you to the middle of the small improvised dance floor. Well, an accumulation of people dancing around the band that was playing could be considered a dance floor. That night, while your hips moved slightly to the rhythm of the music, Ace's hands seemed tied to your waist. Keeping your back to him was sometimes suffocating - and made it difficult to hide the heat rising through him, so he would turn you around and take the opportunity to steal a few kisses.
The night ended with Ace taking the Striker out to the middle of the sea, far enough to get away from the city lights and far enough for your crewmates to spot the two of you. Despite the little space, Ace was on top of you and that night, as you felt him take your body, in addition to the stars in the sky above, you saw your favorite freckles drawn on his face. His eyes remained on yours, his lips attached to every inch of your skin.
When he got back to the ship, with the small excuse that he didn't want you to have nightmares and have to walk to his room to see him snoring, Ace kept you there, between him and the sheets of his bed. After years of being best friends, he had some time to catch up with his favorite bodyguard.
I could be your bodyguard Please, let me be your Kevlar Baby, let me be your lifeguard
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dumplingsjinson · 1 month
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List of “just angst for angst’s sake” prompts 
“You were it at one point, you know?” “I don’t like how you used past tense there. Makes it hurt more, and makes things… It makes things so much more real.” 
“This is exactly why I never wanted to fall in love with you.” 
“I still don’t understand what I did wrong.”
“...Why did you do that for?”
“I’ve always wondered why it had to be you.”
“Did I… Did I do something wrong?”
“I can feel you cutting me off. And it sucks because I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re trying to pull away from me.” 
“Why won’t you love me back?” “…You’re drunk, let’s get you home.”
“It’s not that I can’t do this anymore, it’s just that I don’t want to. Not with you.”
“Whatever I do, I can’t fucking get you out of my head and it’s ruining me.” 
“I don’t… I don’t think I can trust you again.”
“No matter how hard I try, I can’t help but doubt you. And I can’t keep living like this; living in the fear that you’d end up being the one tearing me to pieces.” 
“I don’t want to love you anymore.” 
“Can I be honest? I don’t miss you. I don’t miss what we had.” 
“The worst part is I truly loved you.” 
“I wouldn’t be in this state if you just left me alone from the very start.” 
“…I wonder if things would have been better if we never met.”
“Maybe we should let broken things stay broken.” 
“I could have lived without knowing you never meant anything you told me.” 
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Join my Discord server: Steaming Dumplings Nation
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bigfatbimbo · 3 months
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Can you do a Alastor x married reader? (No smut please just wholesome and gore shit)
omg i didn’t know if you wanted Alastor with a reader who’s already married to somebody else or if you want reader who’s married to Alastor.
Initially i thought it was the ladder so that’s what i wrote. If you wanted the first option you can drop another ask and i’ll write that too!
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✧.* He goes absolutely crazy for your wedding anniversaries, like i’m not kidding. He would probably do really extreme borderline insane grand gestures
✧.* like say you like nirvana he would probably hunt down kurt kobain and steal his soul just so you get a free concert
✧.* that was a ridiculous example but the gestures are seriously that crazy 
✧.* His love language would probably be gift giving and acts of service. He’s the type to unexpectedly get you flowers or chocolates because he doesn’t really know how else to express his affection towards you.
✧.* On your wedding day, your first dance would probably start slow but then halfway through the song pick up the pace and have like an electro-swing type beat. 
✧.* I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t tell you about it either, just all of a sudden started spinning and dipping you. 
✧.* as you know, he is SUCH an attention whore and his jealousy gets even worse after you two get married. He wants your eyes on him at all times and throws a little tantrum anytime someone else has your attention.
✧.* Luckily you know him well enough to figure out when this happens. Maybe even call him out on it, that’ll get him going.
✧.* If you do end up saying something about his jealousy, especially if it’s in a teasing way, watch his grin tighten and his eyes widen before shaking his head slightly. Obviously trying to hide how much you just caught him off guard.
✧.* He’ll probably say something like “Oh, my dear, you know me far too well.”
✧.* Kisses aren’t as common as they are in other peoples relationships, not to say they don’t happen. Usually he’s the one to initiate it as he’s not that big of a fan of physical touch.
✧.* But he’ll wait until you two have a moment alone and lean down to kiss you.
✧.* Although if he is in a touchy mood, however rare that scenario might be, he will show you very discreetly. maybe you two are just lounging in bed and he’ll gradually scoot ever so slightly closer too you until your practically squeezed together.
✧.* Maybe you take the hint and start to hold his hand, or even rub his back. He wouldn’t say how much he liked it but maybe even let him lean on your shoulder.
✧.* Brother has mad parental issues and misses his mommy so he actually would love feeling taken care of like that.
✧.* More on his jealousy, he will ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT kill for you. Whether it’s someone who just had your attention for a little too long, or someone who just plain annoyed you, they’re a goner. OH, and it will not be fast. it will be drawn out and slow because this bitch is absolutely crazy.
✧.* He loves to dance so much that’s probably the most common form of physical touch between you two. 
✧.* Alastor also has a terrible habit of just talking AT you. Usually you humor him at listen even if it feels like he’s talking to himself more than you. Buddy just thinks the things he has to say or super important so you just nod your head and smile.
✧.* If you’re especially known for being Alastors wife then people will absolutely steer clear of you. Actually, a week into dating he probably already sent a message to people who even thought of messing with you. Yeah, it doesn’t happen often anymore.
✧.* He also likes it when you cook for him. It reminds him of his childhood and probably makes him happy. 
✧.* He will DEFINITELY join it and help you cook because my boy loves that quality time!
✧.* Maybe you and him happen to be disliking the same demon and decide to kill them together. Literally power couple shit right there, taking turns beating the shit out of some disrespectful bitch. 
✧.* Probably kissing whilst that’s happening too to be honest.
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a/n: OMG IM NOT VERY PROUD OF THIS TBH!! I swear usually i’m better at writing but i literally just don’t like Alastor very much? I don’t know he just doesn’t do it for… well anyways bc of that it might be a little out of character.
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gojoux · 7 months
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𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐇𝐈𝐌 “𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄?”
Gojo. Geto. Sukuna. Nanami. Choso. Toji. Megumi. Itadori. Yuta.
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◈ — 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
“Why the obvious question, baby?” Gojo smiles wide, caressing your cheeks with his thumb as he cups your face. “I love you so, so, so much,” he says, pecking you between words, his smile doesn’t falter at all like his feelings for you. “I think you know that already. You just want me to say it, didn’t you?” He kisses you again. “I’ll say it as many times as you want me to.”
◈ — 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
Geto is more than willing to provide you the answer, “Of course, I do, love. More than anything,” he smiles softly at you, caressing the back of your head. “I love you more than I can show. I hope you know that.” He brings your hand to his lips, pressing soft kisses to the back of your hand as he caresses your fingers against his. He’s a man who is good with words and actions after all.
◈ — 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
It’s hard to tell whether it’s love or lust from Sukuna, but he’d answer you with pure honesty. “I do. You want me to show you more?” He smugly smiles before reaching out to grab your wrist and pull you to him. “Did someone make you doubt my love for you, hm?” He assuringly caresses your waist. He may not be the most romantic one but his feelings for you are unmistakable.
◈ — 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
Nanami is a man of few words at expressing his feelings but when it comes to you, he’ll never hold back. He gives you an honest and blunt answer right away with no hesitation in his voice. “Yes, love. I do love you.” He squeezes your hand tightly on his own, giving it a long kiss of assurance. “I love how you—” and he starts listing everything he loves about you if you ask why.
◈ — 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎
Choso is smitten for you, why would you even ask this to him? His actions alone are enough to show how much he loves and cares for you. He has no problem being open with his feelings for you, answering in a soft tone, “I love you. I’d do anything for you.” He’ll hold your hand the entire time and body pressing close to you, he just likes being around you. “I can’t ask anyone better than you.”
◈ — 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈
“Huh? What’s with the question? You have doubts or somethin’?” Toji is not the slightest impressed by your question. He’s not the type to express his feelings and he certainly not the type to blurt out ‘I love you’s, but don’t be mistaken, he does love you. “Our feelings are mutual, darling. I’m as much as you are,” he gives you a lopsided smile. He stands by what he says and that’s the truth.
◈ — 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈
Megumi is not one to show his love by words, but by action. Your question makes him a bit taken aback, he’ll start to wonder if he showed you enough of his feelings or did you have doubts about his love for you. “Yes,” he nods right away. “I know I don’t say it enough but... I do.” He gives you a small smile. Best believe him when he says so, his love is as genuine as it could be.
◈ — 𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈
Itadori is a straightforward guy, he’d answer you immediately without skipping a beat, and he doesn’t have anything to hide from you. “Yeah, I love you. I’m sure of that,” he nuzzles his face onto your shoulder as he hugs you tight with a big smile on his face. “I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I know my way around feelings. And when I’m with you, I feel happy.”
◈ — 𝐘𝐔𝐓𝐀
Yuta absolutely adores you. You’re one of the most important people in his life, how could he not love you? Especially you, his love? He nods quickly with that soft, wide smile of his, “Of course, I love you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart,” he says proudly with his whole chest. He’d say it to the whole world to let everyone know how much you’re loved if he had to.
◈ — 𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈 🍙
“Shake, shake.” Inumaki hugs you tighter in his arms. He cups your face and pampers your face with small kisses to show you what he means. He’d also be cute and all to give you a heart shape from his hands or typing word after word on his phone in front of you to see. He’s grateful that you understand him despite his limits and he wants you to always know that you’re loved by him.
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Oh, to be loved by these men 😔💕
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 days
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Hiii how are you? Could i please request a jealousy fic with jason and dick, like how would they react? What would they do about it? I'm sorry its reallyyy cliche, but i love it anyway💕
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Hi anon! I’ve been fine, been taking lots of power naps whenever I can, especially after work, but I’ve fine.
Jason’s jealously more or less comes from a place of insecurity.
He fears that one interaction with the right guy/ girl/ whomever would be enough to make you see that there were better options out there than him.
He never doubts your loyalty to him, never. He wasn’t that pathetic. He just didn’t trust everyone else that even looked at you in the same light as he did on the daily, and it was extremely evident when Jason didn’t like the looks of someone; Furrowed brows over narrowed judging eyes, his form practically towering over you protectively as he stares down the person whom he believes might take you from him.
His protectiveness tends to spike up periodically the moment he see the person get a little too close for comfort and he would clench his jaw to prevent himself from saying something he might regret later on; Jason tries to restrain himself for your sake but it was blatantly obvious that he was on the brink of exploding.
So when you both got home Jason didn’t waste any time in letting you know how he felt during the entire interaction after having forced himself to hold his own tongue.
‘Did you find that person attractive?’ He’d ask.
‘No.’ you said. ‘were you jealous?’
‘I thought me staring down the poor bastard was evident enough.’ Jason scoffs and you hugged his waist all the while pressing reassuring kisses at the base of his neck, when his hands reached to hold yours and intertwine your fingers together.
‘I know that you know I love you very much, no one else catches my eye when I have you,’ you reassured as you pressed another kiss to his neck, ‘my beautiful boy, my beautiful jay birdie.’ You added in a whisper as Jason felt the last remnants of jealously fade away into the background with every kiss you gave him.
‘Are you sure you can see yourself being with me? long term I mean.’ He then says as he squeezed your hands in his search of comfort from you and it broke your heart when he didn’t see himself the way you did, but you were more then willing to kiss and cuddle away his troubles if it meant reminding him of his worth.
‘Without question.’ You confidently told him, squeezing his hands. ‘I don’t see myself with anyone else but you because even though you may not think it, you are more then enough and you are not broken, to me you are whole and you are perfect.’ You finished by pressing a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades and resting your head there as you focused on his breathing.
‘Can…can we just forget about all this and just cuddle like any other cliche couples do?’ Jason asked, finding himself feeling a lot better upon hearing you laugh against his back as a smile crossed his face.
‘Sure big guy.’ You replied. ‘We can go cuddle now.’
And with that Jason was quick to pick you up in his arms and carry you off towards the bedroom where you inevitably feel asleep in the other’s arms, happy and content.
Dick wasn’t one to speak up on his emotions much, which was something that he knew he could better work on for the sake of your relationship with him.
He’s seen himself in the mirror. He knows his own appeal very well but physical appearance were secondary to you as it was his personality that won you over in the end. However he knew that beauty was subjective and that one day you might come across someone more physically appealing than him.
He’d act as though nothing was wrong but if you could easily tell something was off by just his stance alone, crossed arms over chest and a look in his eyes, as though he was trying to deduce the person you were trying to have a civil conversation with.
He may stand close to you and put a hand on your waist or throw an arm over your shoulders, pull you into his side and press a kiss to your forehead with a smile plastered across his face, but he wouldn’t say a word in hopes that would be enough to get across to the person that you were very much taken.
Upon arriving home however, Dick acts he wasn’t even remotely jealous to begin with, despite the glaring fact that he very much was.
‘Me? Jealous?’ He asks incredulously but upon seeing your face, he knew that this act of his had long since stopped working the moment you grew the ability to read him.
‘Yes, you were and you weren’t even trying to make it discreet at all.’ You told him as you settled aside your things on the kitchen counter and sighed. ‘I just wish you would talk to me about these things so that we could get this together like couples should.’
Dick frowned as he moved next to you and gently took your hand in his own, caressing it. ‘I know and I’m sorry that I haven’t been more open and honest with you it’s just-‘
‘You find it difficult to do so I know.’ You cut him off, looking him in the eyes. ‘I don’t blame you for that and I never would, you know that but I just wished that you trust me more to speak to me about these things.’ You tell him as you squeezed his hand. ‘I only want to help you.’
Dick kisses your forehead. ‘I know you do and I appreciate it very much.’ He whispered against your skin. ‘I just don’t know what you see in me sometimes, nor do I understand how you could have possibly put up with me as long as you have given how closed off I can be sometimes.’ He adds as he pulls away, his heart weighing heavily in his chest as he awaits your response.
‘I stay with you because I love you stupid.’ You said softly as you bumped his shoulder with your own. ‘And maybe because Hayley is too cute a pup to ever leave.’
‘I had a feeling Hayley was a major factor in you staying.’ Dick laughed. ‘Can’t say I blame you though, she is indeed very cute.’ He adds as he looks over at the staffy, who was very much fast asleep in her little bed in the living room before looking back to you with gentle eyes. ‘But I’m glad that you did stay. I love you too, dummy.’ He utters softly as he nudged you with his shoulder, vowing to himself to do better by you from this day forth.
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talkbycolor · 4 months
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mushroom oasis headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; im very sensitive about mychael too, oops
Pairing; "Mychael" x GN!Reader
CW; idk alien sex (jk) / this is actually cute, dont worry
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Mychael as your boyfriend.
I just know that he likes to listen to ABBA with you and dance in the mornings when making breakfast or at night before going to sleep.
He purrs at bedtime, especially if you pet his hair.
You can caress his horns, they are softer than they look but also sensitive, be delicate
After a while of relationship, he could no longer avoid the growing guilt he felt and told you about the mushrooms in the forest and the brainwashing he did to you at the beginning.
Definitely identifies with Roar's "Christmas Kids" song.
Be thankful he doesn't have an internet connection or he'd make Deez Nuts cringe jokes.
He is the perfect person for fairycore, you have already begged him to do makeup together, even though he didn't need any of that.
He likes to feel safe, silly and childish with you, having learned to take care of himself since… well, always, it was a drain on the soul. what a relief to his heart to be able to be childish with you, like a break.
He still has certain self-esteem problems, his eyes always dilate when you say nice things about him (or when he's about to jump and attack ((kiss you)))
It's not like Mychael is an uncivilized being, but you've taken the time to teach him several things on dates you've had, things that perhaps he didn't know due to his isolation from society.
You're actually a little scared of what could happen if they discover Mychael's existence, so if you live together it will be in the forest.
Sometimes he is selfish and brainwashes you when he wants more kisses or just feels too needy to let you go out with your friends.
For him there is no such thing as breaking up, he will beg you for answers and ask countless times what the problem is or what you want him to change, as a last resort he would brainwash you so that you stay by his side, even if it's like a shell.
"They were 20 and decided to end their life just like this. They went up to the 21st floor and left without saying "goodbye." I wonder if when they were flying through the air they remembered… ..I once told him if you kill yourself I'm gonna kill myself too!" Basically Mychael not being able to continue with his life alone once he meets MC, if you leave, so does he.
The first time you had sex, bro, Mychael almost had to be chained up, he acted like a spoiled kid when he tried his new favorite candy.
Mychael composes songs for MC, he will even try to get new instruments, new talents, anything to entertain his firefly and have them stay in the forest with him.
Is the kind of old-fashioned sculpted lover, don't doubt that you will look like a 60-year-old couple with 3 chickens and a dog, your wish is his command. If you can't go out to eat at an elegant restaurant, he will get a recipe book to prepare the best dishes and put candles on the table. If you don't have new clothes, he will knit what you like. If you don't like the color of the cabin, he will paint everything as many times as necessary.
Physically? Mychael will never hurt you, using guilt as manipulation is not to his liking either, he loves you too much so he will only wash your brain to have a perfect life by your side, don't worry, you are safe from the world and you will have healing caresses every night , even if it is not today, if it is not tomorrow, you will learn to need it on your own and stay at will.
Mychael is terrified of people, the opinion of the masses made him think of himself as a monster and he can't help but blurt out little comments mocking his own appearance. Being with you makes him forget what he is. Why was he surprised? Because you didn't look away.
His saliva is a little salty and something tells me that he produces goo when he is excited, trust me (delulu)
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rowarn · 8 months
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hi rowan!! can i jus say i LOVE the way you write soft simon<33
what are your thoughts on soft konig?
thank u so much my love 🥺🥺
size difference ofc, foreplay, könig being good in bed <333333 afab!reader, no prns
SOFT!KÖNIG ..... i love soft men. i love protective men. if there's one thing about me it's that protective men just tickle my pickle like nothing else
and könig is sooooo protective. it comes natural to him. he spends a big part of his time away from home and killing people.
but the second he's home with his sweet, precious baby he basically melts!!!
he's the type of man who always has to be touching you. wiping a crumb of food off your cheek, having a stable hand on the small of your back as he guides you through a thick crowd, your small hand tucked firmly in his when he sits beside you at a cafe, his hand gripping your thigh when he's driving or when you're nestled next to him on the couch. hes always touching you.
the type of man who doesn't let you lift a single finger bc he can do whatever it is you need. all you need to do is sit there nice and comfy and be sweet for him, that's all he wants!
he's always complimenting you he's never shy about it. the second you get up he's calling you pretty. telling u how nice your skin looks. tells u that ur hair looks cute that day. he's always complimenting you, his soft little heart just melts at the way your eyes light up when he does it so why wouldn't he???? he loves to make u happy after all
this caring, devoted nature bleeds into bed as well of course !!!
hes......so big......
he's always concerned he'll hurt you. he can easily kill men with his bare hands, he knows his own strength. the last thing he wants to do is lose control. so his touches and caresses are always methodical and thought out.
sex with könig is never rushed or rough. he's a gentle giant with u without a doubt. he won't leave marks or hit u in any form — not even to spank ur ass. wont choke you (but may wrap a hand around your throat and rest it there if y beg sweet enough)
he works you open slowly and carefully. he's so thorough that there's no way you don't cum from his foreplay alone ): he stretches you open with his thick fingers, slurps noisily on your clit to get you even wetter, it's all too much. he's used to feeling you twitch and squirm when he gets you ready, it barely phases him anymore!!! it's just part of the process now (:
"was that a good one, my sweet?" he'll ask ask he rids himself of his clothes, lidded eyes watching you recover from the intense orgasm he so effortlessly gave you <3
he usually does positions he can see you in but he also likes the prone bone position too. any position where u can lay there and just take it — letting him do all the work so u never have to lift a finger <3 so sweet of him !!!
when he finally gets his cock inside you, he always stops halfway and makes u cum like that before giving u the rest ): he doesn't want to give u too much at once and risk hurting you bc he's BIG and he knows it (not in a cocky way he's just overly aware of his own size)
afterwards, once again, u will never lift a finger. hell clean up the mess and snuggle all u want wherever u want. even if he has to carry u to a different room bc u wanna lay somewhere else.
those r some of my thoughts on soft könig <33333333
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Text
Little Hare
Requests:
Request: Dark Feyd writes his name on the reader’s back with his dagger.
Wordcount: 3.1K+
Masterlist
Description: A party where you didn't know anyone would be awful. But it is to honor your husband and his success on the planet and there is nothing you wouldn't do for him. Until Feyd believes you have disgraced him and he'll have to punish you.
A/N: First fic for Feyd it isn't as dark as I wanted it to be but I hope you all enjoy it. I had fun writing this and will definitely love to write more of him either with this reader or not. This is the same reader from my Feyd HC.
Warning: Dark Feyd. Blood lots of blood, crying, pain, dacryphilia, possessive/ jealous Feyd, murder, violence, death, dagger kink. Smut, breeding kink, dubcon,
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“Na-Baroness, would you care for some wine?” The male servant asks for a second time. This time, Irulan nudges your shoulder. Reminding you that is who you are now. You are no longer a Princess, but the wife of Feyd-Rautha.
“Oh, forgive me,” you apologize, curtsying lowly to the servant. Irulan scoffed by your side, but you paid her no attention. “I am still unused to the title.”
The servant, like most people that were graced with a smile from you, flushed and shook his head. “You never need to apologize, Na-Baroness. Would you prefer to be addressed as princess?”
You wanted to. You liked being a princess. You liked the kind smiles you realized when you were just the emperor’s daughter. Now you get looks of caution, worry, and pity when someone addresses you. All in fear of your blood-thirsty husband.
Your marriage was still in its early days with the wedding taking place only 2 months prior. You were often fell somewhere in the middle of terrified and fascinated by your husband. You were told almost nothing about him until the day of your wedding and then it was only his awful points.
And you didn’t blame them. He was an awful man, but he was also ambitious and strong and there were moments when you saw an actual man within him. One that made sure your favorite foods were stalked on the planet Arrakis or took walks with you late at night. Claiming the warriors were not equipped enough to guard you.
“That is very kind of you, to think of my comfort, but I will have to get used to it,” you said, kindly touching the servant's hand gently for only a moment. “And I also am not drinking wine tonight. If there is any Rossie's cider, I would love a glass.”
The servant flushed more and bowed to you. “Right away, princess,” he said before walking away.
You smiled despite yourself at the term turning to face Irulan’s scowl. “You must stop being so nice to everyone. And you shouldn’t allow him to tell you, Princess. You are not a princess once more.” Her tone was harsh and her glare cold, but you knew it was all for concern for you.
“Irulan, we don’t see each other often”—you said, watching her face soften at your soft words—“Let’s not fight, dear sister.”
Sighing she took your hands in hers. “I am not meaning to pick a fight. You just need to be smarter. I doubt your husband would be pleased to know that you are allowing people to call you anything that isn’t tied to him.”
You nodded, squeezing her hands before letting go. “I am thankful for your concern, Irulan,” you said.
A Bene Gesserit hovered in the shadows and called your sister to her. Irulan hesitated for only a moment before disappearing leaving you to stand alone. Baron Harkonnen was throwing a party for the success your husband’s been having on the planet and members of all the great houses were in attendance.
People that you never had to interact with as your father and the Bene Gesserit kept you isolated from everyone. When you married Feyd most people were shocked to even know you existed. Most avoid you, believing there was some horrible reason you were kept a secret and in fear of your husband.
Sighing softly, you made your way to the corner of the room so you could see everything without having to engage. The servant from before ran over to you. Out of breath, he bowed deeply and presented you with the drink you requested.
“For you, my princess,” he said.
Touched, you placed your hand over your heart and took the glass of cider from his tray. “Thank you so much. I hope it didn’t cause you a lot of trouble getting this.”
“No, princess it cost nothing to serve you.”
You smiled in appreciation when a chuckle sent a shiver down your spine. You glanced over the servant’s head to see the dark eyes of your husband. You opened your mouth in shock and your hands shook slightly causing the drink to splash into your dress.
“My Na-Baron. How are you”—Reyd glare cuts through you and stalls your words. He pulled his dagger from his side and stalked closer to you and the servant, who was staring at the ground and shaking.
“Now, what are you two talking about? Do not let me stop you,” he spoke with a growl in his voice that had the servant and your breath catching. When neither of you spoke up, his patience left him, and he grabbed the servant by the neck and drove his dagger into his neck.
You gasped and closed your eyes as the blood poured from the wounded. Feyd grabbed the back of your neck. “Fucking look at what you caused,” he ordered.
Listening to him, your eyes opened, and you watched as he pulled the dagger across the servant’s throat and pulled out harshly. The blood sprayed all over you and tears burned your eyes. The room had gone silent, and everyone watched the two of you.
“Turns out it does cost something to serve you,” Feyd laughed tightening his grip on your neck as he forced you out of the hall and towards your shared bedroom. You didn’t struggle and tried to stop your tears from falling, though you knew he didn’t mind. In fact, he loved making you cry and licking the tears from your face.
Feyd kicked the door open and tossed you inside as he slammed the door behind you both and locked it. You stumble but quickly regain your footing to turn around and face your husband. Well, you face his feet as you know he does not want to see your eyes.
“My sweet hare. Who would have thought you would also be a harlot,” he said amused, but the anger was barely restrained in his tone.
Your tears flowed heavily down your cheeks. “Never, my lord,” you whispered.
He hummed. “Speak up if you have something to say to me.”
Your hands shook but you interlocked your fingers and squeezed them together. You slowly lift your head to stare at Feyd. He stood against the door, his arms crossed over his chest and the bloody dagger still in his head. He wore an expression of amusement, lust, and violence.
“I said never, my lord. I am not a harlot. I am your wife, your servant, your hare,” your tone turned to a whine of desperation at the end. You were made for him. To be his and you would never do anything to displease him. In the months since your wedding, you have grown more loyal to him, not because you had to be but because you wanted to be.
“Are you sure about that, princess,” he mocked crossing the space between you in quick strides. He took in your bloody face and dress. The tear marks down your face and your expression. So soft, innocent, and loyal to him.
How you could still be so sweet and pure after the things he’s done to you is a mystery, but he thanks the stars each night for it. Roughly grabbing your cheeks, he dug his nails into them. “You belong to me. I could have had you as a slave or a concubine, but I was generous. I made you, my wife. My Na-baroness.” His nails dug further into your face until he tore the skin and now your own blood mixed with the servant.
“Please, My lord. I am yours. I live to please you,” you were sobbing now, and the sound was music to his ears. He couldn’t help but lean closer and lick from your jaw to the crown of your head. He moaned at the mixture of salt and iron on his tongue, but it wasn’t enough to sate the beast that was woken when he saw your sweet smile aimed at another. At your hand on someone’s arm even if only for a moment.
“Do I seem pleased, little harlot?”
You cried harder. You wanted to be his hare again. He good little wife. You cursed yourself for not listening to your sister. You should have stayed by his side all night. You should have taken the wine and not spoken to anyone. “My lord, my husband, my Na-Baron, please forgive me. What can I do to please you? To gain your good grace again?”
He chuckled at your desperation Your hands were tightly gripping the side of his shirt without you even noticing. You were just too perfect. Your tears were almost as good as blood. A light went off in his mind and smirked darkly.
Shoving you away from him, Feyd licked his fingers before aiming his dagger at you. You stared between the two in confusion, but eagerness and hope shined through your eyes. He rolled his eyes but laughed slightly.
“On your knees and clean it off. That should be something familiar to you.” He spoke.
His words stung. You had only been on your knees for him. “Yes, my lord,” you said anyway. Dropping to your knees you placed your hand behind your back and slowly stuck out your tongue and licked the sharp tip.
You winced as the tip pierced your tongue, but you took a shaky breath and dragged your tongue along the dagger until there was no more blood and it was dripping in your spit. You looked up at Feyd, hoping that he was happy, but his expression was void of any emotions. You deflated slightly.
“Open your mouth.”
You did without question, and he spat into your mouth. You shivered and you felt your face heat as the area between your thighs dampened. You were ashamed to admit that your fascination with your husband also came with a deep desire for him. He was so dangerous and beautiful and the things he did to you were shameful, but you enjoyed them as well.
Feyd could see the desire in your eyes and couldn’t wait to watch it turn to horror. He dropped to his knees in front of you and roughly turned you around until your hands were gripping the edge of your bed. His dagger makes quick work to cut off the back of your dress and you are quick to help him remove it from your body.
“Eager little thing you are,” he chuckled. “Do you think I am going to fuck you?”
You froze, glancing over your shoulder at him. You wanted him to. You wanted to beg him to but that is not what good wives do. “Whatever you wish to do, I am eager for, husband.”
“I will assess that,” he smirked. The fear flicked in the outer rings of your eyes, and he groaned. Leaning closer he licked your face once more. “I will make sure you and everyone know who you belong to.”
You were afraid, the sadistic look in his eyes you’d seen before when he was fighting. You swallowed shakingly but didn’t hide your fear from him. Feyd grabbed your jaw and kissed you aggressively. As if he hated you and you were both locked in a fight to the death. It was animalistic, frightening, and addictive.
All too soon he broke the kiss and forced you to face forward. Not being able to see what he was going to do only increased your fear and desire. He was breathing heavily, panting like a wild animal. And you were glad. He was a beast, and you were his hare that needed to be claimed. This was familiar, and you can deal with that.
And then his dagger was pressing into your back, breaking the first layer of skin, and going deeper. You screamed out and thrashed against him. Feyd gripped the back of your neck and pinned you down on the bed.
“Be still and prove to me you are my little hare.”
“Okay, my lord,” you weep. His hand did not leave your throat and his dagger dug deeper. You screamed, closing your eyes, and begging for the pain to stop. The pain was unlike anything you’ve ever felt, and your body shook as it tried to process what was going on. Your mind grew fussy, and you felt as if you were going to pass out and you couldn’t wait.
“No, stay with me. Endure it for me. For your husband,” He growled, shaking your neck. You whined and begged for his forgiveness. His dagger dug in and out of your skin, curving and carving out your skin.
Your screams quieted to pained moans and whimpers. You could feel the blood dripping down your back. Some already drying as it went on forever. Finally, he stopped, and his hand left your neck. Where you were sure his handprints would bruise.
You sniffled lying your head on the bed exhausted. Feyd moved his lie his head next to yours taking in your swollen and wet face. Your eyes were far away and bloodshot and you tried to focus on him.
“My little hare, you did such an excellent job. I’m proud of you,” he said. His hand pushed your sweaty heart out of your face in something close to affection. His thumb ran along your cheeks, wiping under your eyes. He forced his thumb into your mouth, and you obeyed his unspoken command and sucked.
Feyd's free hand moved along your back. Ghosting between the letters that he carved there. His eyes locked on yours as he mouthed each letter to you as he traced them. F.E.Y.D R.A.U.T.H.A
“Feyd Rautha,” you said quietly when his thumb left your mouth.
He smirked and grabbed your jaw. “And who is that?”
“You. My lord, my Na-Baron, and my husband.”
“And now everyone will know it.” He said getting up from the bed. “I will have all new dresses made for you. In black with the back open. Everyone from every corner of the universe will know that you belong to me.”
His voice sounded far away or as if you were underwater. Your eyes followed him until he was no longer in sight. “I suppose, I should reward you for being good to me,” he hummed getting on his knees behind you.
You wanted to tell him he didn’t have to, but your mouth felt dry, and you had no energy to do anything. Or you didn’t until he started pushing your thighs apart and you tried to crawl up the bed and away from his fingers that started to probe your hole. You whined but three quick and harsh swats to your ass had you stop trying to get away.
Feyd cared little for your comfort as he watched the blood from your back pool down your back and slide between your legs. You were already so wet for him and if not, the blood was lubrication enough. He groaned as he forces two of his thick fingers inside of you and your cunt hungrily sucked them in.
“Hunger little cunt. Do you want my cock?’ He asked, pulling his pants off and stroking his thick cock a slowly teasing himself. He coated his cock in your blood before thrusting all eight inches into you in one go.
You choked and your body froze and tightened up. Feyd groaned and kissed the bottom of your spine, lapping up the blood. “You will be in more pain if you don’t relax. I will fuck you open either way,” he reminded you. Your blood was his favorite drink in the world, and it drove him mad.
You nodded taking deep breaths and trying to focus on the pleasure and not the pain still shooting through your body. “Please,” you said, unsure if you were asking for him to stop or make you forget the pain.
Either way, Feyd only had his own interest at heart. Grabbing your waist, he pulled you back on his cock as he pounded into you repeatedly growly lowly as you cried and begged him over and over. His cock reached so deep inside of you with each thrust. Feyd grabbed your ass squeezing harshly as he chased his release.
Your back ached and your cunt was growing sore from his relentless thrust. You tightened around him, and your knuckles turned white with how hard you were holding onto the sheets on the bed. Feyd couldn’t help himself and ran his fingers along your back. Pressing into the letters he carved. More blood oozed from your back, and you couldn’t stop the fight to get away from him.
He chuckled and dug his nails into his name. “Where are you going?” He pulled you back harshly and picked up speed as despite yourself you came around his cock, squirting all over you both. He laughed louder pressing his chest against your back. Fedy grabbed the side of your head and forced you to look into his dark eyes. “Tell me, who do you belong to?”
“You, Feyd. I belong to you,” you cried.
“And how were you made for? Who is going to breed you and keep you all to himself?”
“You. Only you Feyd-Rautha,” your eyes rolled in the back of your head, and you came again, your body moving against him. You cried at the pain it caused you and you screamed at the pleasure he was giving you.
Feyd slapped your face, forcing you to look at him once more. “Let me see those little eyes,” he grinned. He smeared your own blood all over your face before his tongue licked it all away. He repeated this twice more before his hips drove hard into you one last time as he filled you with his seed.
“Take my seed, little hare. This is why you were made for me. To be bred, broken, and used by me,” he said, fucking his cum deeper inside of you. You could do nothing but lie there gasping and taking what he was giving you. He stayed pressed against you both of you covered in sweat, blood, and cum.
Pealing his body off of your broken one, he stood up and looked down at his work. Your body shook and blood still ran down your back. He smirked satisfied with himself and slapped your ass. “Good girl. You have earned my forgiveness and favor once more.” He leaned closer whispering in your ear. “Be wise to keep it. Unless you want more reminders.”
You shivered at the threat but nodded softly, your eyes closing. You were in so much pain and you were unsure if you were hallucinating or not when a hand ran through your hair and a kiss was pressed to your forehead.
“Rest, little hare. I will have a bath drawn and some salve to make sure your mark heals property.”
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Taglist.
I didn't add my normal taglist so let me know if you would like to be added to Feyd's taglist as well to my normal taglist people and of course to anyone else who wants to be tagged in his fics or any of my other fics.
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andvys · 3 months
Text
I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 29
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Warnings: major angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of an ED. get your tissues out, brace yourself for some pain. I cried and so will you. I'm so sorry for this.
Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Summary: Steve shows up at your doorsteps and you take care of him, the way you always did.
Word count: 10.5k+
A/N: shoutout to @hellfire--cult for helping me with this, I couldn't do this without you Roe, I would've given up, this was so hard for me to write. I need therapy now. Also thank you to my sweet angel bff @taintedcigs for being there for me while I was losing it, you're both real ones
To make this even sadder, listen to the 1, the last time, betty, the outro of all too well by Taylor Swift. Oh and Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. Thank me later.
series masterlist
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It’s still pouring, the rain is still rolling down your closed windows and the lightning continues to crash through the sky. You can’t fall asleep. You’ve been trying to since you came home, but you can’t. You thought a hot shower would help make you tired, but it didn’t. Now you’re laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling.
You are too giddy to fall asleep. Your heart is still racing. Your skin still feels on fire. You can’t even fight the smile off your face. You feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin, him. You regret not letting him come home with you. Your bed has never felt emptier. You turn to look at the telephone on your nightstand, contemplating giving him a call but you decide against it when you take a look at the clock, it’s 3am. He must be sleeping already. 
Your eyes fall on the picture that wiped the smile off your face when you walked into your room earlier. A sigh falls from your lips. You need to talk to him. You need to talk to Steve. 
This night has changed everything. 
Your feelings have changed. They have evolved into something even bigger. You have been aware of your feelings for Eddie for a while now, but you never let them out completely. You were too afraid, too scared to get rejected, too scared to lose him because you once again, couldn’t stop yourself from falling for your best friend. 
Your best friend who wants you just as much as you want him. 
Your stomach flutters and a smile tugs at your lips – your lips that are still tingling from the feeling of all the kisses. You touch them, closing your eyes as you picture him, the way he held you, the way he said your name, the way he couldn’t get enough of you, the way he was so proud to call himself yours. He’s been dreaming about this, he’s been dreaming about you for months.
You never thought that you could feel this way again. You never thought that you could smile again at the thought of someone else. You never thought that you would love again. 
Not after him. 
Steve had shattered your heart in a million pieces. He stripped you of your powers. He took everything away from you. He made you doubt yourself and everyone around you. You suffered for weeks and months, not knowing how to keep going, not knowing how to get out of bed every morning. You stopped eating. You stopped reading. You lost your joy in the things you used to love doing. You felt so lost and hopeless but you forced yourself to keep going. It felt like learning how to walk again. 
But you weren’t alone, you had the people who cared for you. 
But most importantly, you had him. Eddie was there. Eddie was there for you, every step of the way. He never left, not even on your worst days. He was there, he was always there and he stayed. 
Your heart skips a beat and your chest fills with warmth when you think of all the times he cheered you up and gave you a shoulder to cry on. When he took care of you despite you not asking him to. He stopped by the coffee shop every morning to get you a coffee and some breakfast, sometimes he came late to school because of it but he didn’t care. He’d take you out to the diner, knowing that you haven’t been eating, he brought you your favorite snacks for movie nights. He knew you were struggling to eat and he did everything to help you without pressuring you to talk about something that he knew would make you uncomfortable. 
He gave you the reassurance that you needed.
He took care of you in ways no one else ever did. 
And he never asked for anything back either.
He just did it because he wanted to, because he cares about you, because you mean something to him, because you always meant something to him, because you were always something more than a friend to him and he always wanted what’s best for you. All while watching you pine after a guy who broke your heart. He even gave you hope that maybe, you and Steve could find your way back to each other someday – all just because he wanted you to be happy. 
You don’t know what comes over you, but tears well up in your eyes. 
Eddie always just wanted you to be happy. 
You sit up, no longer wanting to wait for the next day to come, you need to see him now. 
You throw the cover off your body, your bare feet hit the soft carpet. Your hair is still a little wet from the shower you took but you couldn’t care less. You turn on the light on your nightstand before you rush over to your closet and pick out a sweater, not bothering to change into jeans or a skirt, you leave your plaid pajama pants on and throw the black sweater over your head. 
Your heart is pounding in excitement when you think about how he kissed you before you left, how he didn’t want to leave, how he wanted more and more. You can’t wait to do it again. You can’t wait to pull him into a kiss, to hug him, to tell him what you should’ve told him a long time ago. 
You take a look in the mirror, smoothing out your hair a little, you put perfume on your skin before you turn around and leave your room, slowly creeping down the stairs, not wanting to wake your mom. You leave the light off as you slip into your Vans, you grab your car keys and you open the door, about to step into night but the smile that was lingering on your face fades away so quickly when you find Steve on your doorsteps. 
Steve who was just about to ring the doorbell. 
Steve who is soaked from the rain, despite driving here. You can see his BMW in your driveway. How long has he been standing out in the rain? 
It takes you a moment to realize the state he is in. 
His face is not only soaked from the rain, it’s also soaked with tears. His eyes are red and glassy. His bottom lip is trembling. His body is shaking and you don’t know whether it’s from the tears or the cold rain. He is barely standing and as you take a step closer, you can smell the whiskey in his breath. 
Your heart drops to your stomach when you realize that he drove here drunk. 
“Steve?” You whisper as though in disbelief. 
What is he doing here at 3am? Why is he crying? 
Drops of water roll down his face, his hazel eyes are filled with pain as tears continue to fall from them. 
He says your name with a pained voice, shakily and sadly. 
“I-I needed to see you.”
Your heart breaks at the trembling in his voice. 
You furrow your brows, looking him up and down in concern. 
What happened to him?
“Dolly, I’m so– I’m so sorry,” he slurs as a sob falls from his lips. He loses his balance and stumbles forward, almost crashing to the ground, but you catch him, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him up as best as you can. He instantly latches onto you, pulling you against him and holding you tightly. 
You blink in confusion, your heart starts pounding faster. 
He is crying, he is still crying, holding you tighter than before as he buries his face in your neck. You let him. Despite the confusion that is rushing through you, you let him hold you like this for a moment, only letting go to close the front door and taking the keys from his hands, before you wrap your arms around him again. The rain is soaking through your clothes, his tears are falling onto you, he is holding you so tightly, like he’s afraid to let you go. 
“It’s okay,” you whisper as you rub his back, not knowing what else to do. 
Did he get into a fight with his dad again? 
“I got you, Steve.”
Your words seem to make it even worse though, his body starts shaking even more as soft sobs fall from his lips. He grabs the material of your sweater so tightly, mumbling incoherent words into your neck. 
You feel so helpless, not knowing what to do or what to say, so you just hold him. 
This happened before, him showing up at your house in the middle of the night, drunk out of his mind with tears streaming down his face, he collapsed into your arms the moment you opened the door, rambling and slurring out words. You later on found out that he had gotten into a fight with his dad about his grades and his future. 
But that wasn’t all, you just don’t know the rest of the story, Steve never told you about the things his dad had said to him – how you would leave if he didn’t get his shit together, how you would go off to college by yourself and learn how to live without him, how he would stay back in Hawkins while you would live your life somewhere else without him. 
He is sobbing quietly, keeping his face buried in your neck, melting further into your arms. 
“Steve,” you whisper as you rub your hand up and down his spine. You longingly look at the keys you’re still holding, a soft sigh falling from your lips. You won’t see him tonight. “Come on.” 
“N-No,” he mumbles, thinking you want him to leave. 
“Let’s go upstairs, Steve.” 
You let go of him and grab his arms softly, trying to move back. 
He sniffles as he loosens his grip on you, leaning back, he looks at you through his glassy eyes. He takes in the sight of your face, taking a moment to look at you. 
You don’t know what’s going on in his troubled mind but his eyes tell you that he is suffering, and looking at you, makes him cry even harder. Though this time, he presses his lips together, trying not to sob. 
Your own eyes fill with sadness the longer you look at him. You move your palm down his arm, taking his hand, you hold it tightly as you lead him towards the stairs. You drop both yours and his keys on the counter, taking another sad look at them before you turn to Steve, making sure that he doesn’t stumble again. He is taking slow but shaky steps, holding your hand tighter than before. 
You look up, hoping that you didn’t wake your mom. 
You step into your room and you close the door after he walks in, noticing that you forgot to turn off the light earlier. 
His sniffles quiet down and you think the worst is over, that he calmed down after letting his tears fall, the tears that he probably kept in for way too long. Steve rarely ever cries or breaks down, he hates it, he hates being vulnerable. So, he keeps it in and he lets all his emotions pile up until there’s no space left. 
A look around your room, a glance at a picture of you and him, and the closed window is enough to make him cry again. He lets go of you and hides his face behind his hands. 
You feel so lost and don’t know what to do. Not even the worst fight with his dad resulted in this. Your own eyes well up with tears, your heart breaks at the sound of his cries. He once again, collapses into your arms the moment you take a step towards him, this time you lose your balance and your knees buckle causing you both to fall. You drop to your knees as he does too, still holding onto you, tighter than before if that is even possible. He wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in your chest this time. 
“Steve,” you whisper shakily, on the verge of breaking down yourself when he clings to you like he never did before. You know it must be bad. 
He feels your hand running down his back, cupping the back of his head, trying to calm him down as you do your best to comfort him. He breathes you in, something that makes his heart shatter even more. 
“I-I ruined everything,” he sobs into your chest. “I ruined you, I broke your heart, I broke you,” he slurs. “I-I was.. I found your note, I never read it. I never said I love you, I just, I didn’t say it back, I didn’t say I love you, I didn’t– I put it away, I didn’t read it until now.” 
Oh. 
Now you understand. 
You furrow your brows and your eyes blur with tears. 
It doesn’t break your heart to find out that he never read that note, it didn’t matter anyway, he dumped you the next day. You got your answer. But your heart hurts for the girl you once were. The girl who loved him so unconditionally. The girl who cried herself to sleep after each fight. The girl who just wanted him to love her back. 
You swallow the lump in your throat and tighten your hold on him. 
“It’s okay, Steve.”
He shakes his head and he pulls back a little, looking at you with his sad eyes. 
You nod before he can protest. You let go of him to cup his cheeks, trying to wipe the tears, but they keep falling and falling. 
“It’s okay,” you whisper, trying to convince him but his hazel eyes look back at you so brokenly. 
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, reaching his hands up to grab your wrists. “I’m so sorry for everything I did to you, dolly.”
You shake your head, opening your mouth to speak but he cuts you off, not letting you. 
“Please forgive me,” he cries. 
“Steve..” You frown, trying to catch the tears that keep escaping his eyes. You forgave him already. You forgave him because you never wanted to lose him. The past cannot be erased, not even if you were pained or happy, so the only thing is to look forward, and you don’t want to lose him in the future. He needs to understand that but no matter what you say now, he won’t listen. 
“Dolly, you don’t understand.” As he says these words to you, he looks at you with pleading eyes. 
You shake your head, a pained expression taking over your face. 
He opens his mouth to speak when a knock on your door interrupts him. You tear your eyes away from him, looking at your door, startled. 
Your mom’s voice sounds through the hallway as she knocks on your door again, “is everything okay?” 
“Y-Yeah, hold on!” You call out to her before you turn back to him. Moving your hands down to his arms. “Come on, let’s get you up.” 
He doesn’t protest, instead he takes your hands and stands up with you.
You lead him towards your bed and push him down, placing your hands on his shoulders, you look into his eyes, “I should go talk to my mom, she’s probably worried about the noises.”
He sniffles, nodding at you. 
Before you can move away, your door opens, the light in the hallways shining into your room. You’re met with your mom’s concerned eyes, she looks at you first before her eyes find Steve’s figure sitting on your bed. Her eyes widen and she gasps as she takes in the sight of him. 
“Steve, honey, you don’t look good, are you okay?” 
That only seems to make him sadder. No sounds escape him but the tears fall even harder than before and the urge to break down yourself feels stronger than ever. 
Your mom looks just as helpless as you do, you may not talk to her about your feelings but she can read you like an open book, and right now, she can see how much you’re suffering too. 
“We’re okay, mom. I-I got this, you should go back to sleep.” 
She hesitates. Looking at you with worried eyes. 
You nod at her, pleading with your tear filled eyes. 
She sighs, face falling a little. You feel bad for shutting her out but she had enough to deal with herself in the past few years, she shouldn’t deal with your problems now too. 
She nods at you, taking another look at Steve before her eyes meet yours again, “let me know if you need anything.” 
“I will, mom.”
She closes the door, leaving you alone with him. 
You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep and shaky breath, trying to fight the tears. 
He is still holding your hand and crying his eyes out. 
You take a look at him and suddenly feel like throwing up because of the overwhelming pressure in your chest. You can’t take this. 
He looks up at you, tears rolling down his red cheeks, he looks so heartbroken and you can’t stand to see him like this. It hurts so bad. It fills you with so much sadness but also with anger because none of this would have happened if he wouldn’t have changed his mind about you. 
“Let’s get you out of these clothes, you’re gonna get sick if you stay in these any longer.” 
You turn around, letting go of his hand, you walk to your closet and open the door, taking out the box that you’ve been meaning to give him back months ago. You take the lid off and rummage through it until you find what you’re looking for, one of his old shirts. The whole time, you’re biting back tears, not wanting to cry. It’s hard not to when you have to face him again. 
Why does he have to begin this over and over again? 
You’ve been here before. You’ve done this time and time. You forgave him already, you gave him a second chance, you were ready to move on. 
Why does he have to do this now? 
He is staring at you with a sullen look in his eyes, there is so much sadness, so much pain and heartbreak in the eyes you used to love so much. 
“Here,” you whisper, placing the shirt on your bed, beside him. “Take your shirt off, Steve.” 
He can barely see through his vision, his bottom lip is trembling, his hands are shaking, his whole body is shaking from both the coldness that is seeping through his shirt and the pain that he put himself in. 
He reaches for the hem of his shirt, clumsily. 
You sigh and step towards him, leaning down, you push his hands away gently, grabbing the wet material and pulling the shirt over his head. 
“Do you want to take a warm shower?” You ask, putting your hands on his cold arms. “You’re freezing, Steve.”
He shakes his head. 
“Okay,” you sigh and hand him the black shirt. “Here, put this one.” 
“Okay,” he whispers, watching you take his wet shirt and walking into the bathroom. His eyes follow you like the ones of a lost puppy. He no longer feels the tears running down his face, he’s been crying all night, his chest has been hurting badly from the moment he started reading old notes. The way you’re taking care of him after everything that he has done to you, makes him feel even worse.  
You walk back into the room a moment later. 
He is wiping his tears away after putting the shirt on. You can tell that he tries to hold himself together, not wanting to break into sobs again, but you know that he is struggling to with his emotions in overdrive and the alcohol in his system. 
“I’m gonna get you some water–”
“No, please don’t leave me.”
You had never heard him sound so heartbroken, so desperate and scared. 
You had never seen him look like this, so fragile and broken. 
“Please.”
He takes your hand in his. 
“I don’t… I don’t deserve you–”
You sigh, shaking your head as you sit down beside him. 
“Steve, stop! We’re friends, we’re over this okay? You need to stop doing this, we talked it all out. I forgave you–”
He shakes his head, catching you off guard when he moves towards you and cups your cheeks. 
“I wanted everything with you. I wanted you to be the one so bad. I know we were too young to think so far ahead but.. I wanted it all with you, I wanted to marry you and have kids with you but then I fucked it all up, I ruined everything. I-I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I break everything.” 
Your eyes widen in shock, tears you can no longer hold back fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth but no words come out. You are too stunned to speak. 
You never knew how he truly felt about you and about your future together. You knew that he wanted to go to college with you but that was the only part about your shared future that was mentioned – aside from the promise he made to never stop loving you. 
Despite the state of shock that you’re in, you cannot help but cry for the girl that wanted it all with him. 
“I don’t deserve you, fuck. I don’t deserve you– and you don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve someone like me, you don’t deserve how I treated you, you don’t deserve how I made you feel, you don’t deserve the pain I made you go through, because you’re so good, and so perfect, and I destroyed that.. I destroyed you.” His voice is so shaky, his tears won’t stop falling, neither do yours. But he wipes them away softly. 
Your bottom lip trembles as you look at him in pain. 
“Steve..”
He searches for something in your eyes – anger, hatred, rage. But he can’t find any of it. After everything that he put you through, you still got love for him and it makes him hate himself even more.
He knew what he did to you, what he put you through. Yet, only tonight it really sank in, how much he truly hurt you. How much he hurt that one person that he would give everything for – his heart, his soul, everything. 
“I’m so sorry for everything, baby.” His voice breaks and he closes his eyes as he lets his head hang low. Only a second passes, before you pull him into your arms again. 
“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper. 
It’s not okay. How could it ever be okay? 
He left a deep scar, one that you will carry for the rest of your life and there is nothing he can do to fix it. 
He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in, closer and closer until you’re flush against him, in search of your warmth, he buries his face in your neck. He breathes you in and holds you tightly, like it’s the last time. Enjoying the feeling of your hand running up and down his spine as your other hand cups the back of his head. His lips touch your skin, he is unaware of the marks on your neck. He is unaware of who’s hands, who’s lips have touched your body tonight. 
“I’m still your dolly, Steve,” you whisper into his shoulder. 
Yes, you are still his best friend. 
Still his dolly. 
But never his girl again. 
You stare into nothing as you hold him, breathing slowly. Your lips are pressed against his shoulder, you tighten your arms around him even when his cries quiet down and his breathing slows down, you still hold him, not ready to let go just yet. 
The room becomes silent, so silent that you suddenly miss the sound of his voice. 
“Steve?” You whisper. 
His head is laying on your shoulder, his breathing slow and steady. You know that he had fallen asleep but you still whisper his name again. When you get no response, you move back slowly, careful not to wake him. You push him down softly, adjusting the pillow beneath him. 
Your eyes soften as you take in the sight of him. You scoot closer to him, bringing your hands up to his face, you wipe the fallen tears and caress his cheek. Running your fingers through his hair and pushing away the fallen strands. 
You blink, feeling the hot tears burning in your eyes. 
The joy in your heart faded the moment he crashed into your arms. Right now, it’s just hurting. 
You know why he came here tonight. 
Not for comfort. Not for a second chance. Not for forgiveness. No. He came to end things, once and for all. 
With a heavy heart, you tear your eyes away from him and push yourself up. You lean down to take his Nike’s off, you lift his legs up on the bed and grab the covers, pulling them up to his chest. You notice the wristband, the one you gave him two nights ago, he is wearing it. 
You can’t remember the last time he was here in your room, let alone in your bed. It’s odd, almost strange to see him here. 
You look out your window, noticing that the rain has stopped falling. You hear the tires of a car screeching through the night. Jimmy Davidson must be back from college, you think. The jock is the only in town who drives like a maniac – well, besides Billy Hargrove and Eddie. 
You take one last look at him before you turn around and leave your room, wanting to grab some water and advil for him. You close the door carefully and make your way downstairs. 
You notice that the lights are on in the kitchen. The smell of hot chocolate lingers in the air. Your mom is still awake. You find her sitting at the table by the window, with a magazine in front of her. A blanket around her shoulder and glasses perched on her nose.
You feel bad for waking her up, knowing that she works the morning shift this week. But just her presence alone gives you the comfort that you so desperately need, right now. 
She looks up when she feels your presence. She takes her reading glasses off and places them on the table, pushing the blanket off as she stands up, she wastes no second to make her way towards you, the same concerned look as before resting in her features. 
“Is Steve okay?” 
You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat and blinking the tears away. 
“Yeah. He’s sleeping now.”
She knows that you’re not telling her everything, you never are. 
Sighing, she raises her hand towards your face, cupping your cheek as she gives you a smile, a sad one. 
“Are you okay?” 
Tears that you have just blinked away, well up in your eyes again. This time you hesitate. This time you can’t tell her that you feel okay or even good. You can’t hold your feelings back, not tonight. 
“You can talk to me. You never do and you always hold yourself back with me. I am your mother and I will listen to you, I’m here for you. So please, talk to me, sweetheart.” 
You look into her kind eyes and you suddenly feel like breaking down. You have been holding back for so long, hiding your true feelings, not letting them shine through out of fear that this would happen. 
But everything is crumbling now, all the last pieces that were holding you and Steve together had fallen apart the moment you had broken the barrier and kissed him. 
You don’t know where to start, there is so much to tell. 
So, you start with something you’ve been dying to get off your chest. 
“I love Eddie, mom.”
It feels like a relief to finally say it out loud, the words that you kept away for so long are now out in the open and.. it feels right. 
You watch for surprise to flash in her eyes but there is none. In fact, she doesn’t give you much of a reaction at all. A knowing look crosses her face, that’s all. 
“Is that why Steve was crying?”
You shake your head. 
“No. He doesn’t know,” you mumble, looking down. “I haven’t told him yet.”
“Then what happened to him?” 
You can hear the worry in her voice. You wonder if it will still be there when you tell her what he did to you. You never told her why he left. You never told her how much he hurt you. You never wanted her to think badly of him, not even after he broke your heart so carelessly. 
It feels like the world is weighing on your shoulders and the urge to throw it off feels so strong. You’ve been carrying it around for too long. 
“He came to apologize, to ask for forgiveness.” 
“Forgiveness?” She asks. “Did you two get into a fight?” 
“No, mom.” 
She tilts her head, giving you a questioning look. 
“Can we sit down?” You nudge your chin towards the table. “It’s a lot to talk about.”
She nods, a smile tugging at her lips. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and she leads you to the table. 
You sit down by the window and watch her move to the other side. She doesn’t take a seat though, instead she grabs the blanket and walks back to you, wrapping it around your shoulders and stepping away for a moment. 
Your eyes follow her in curiosity. 
She grabs your favorite mug from the cupboard and places it on the counter. 
You prop your chin on your palm and watch how she makes you a hot chocolate, the way you always loved it, with mini marshmallows on top. 
As you watch her move around in the kitchen, you realize how much you have missed this, how much you have missed your mom. This reminds you of older days, simpler days. Days where you had woken up from nightmares and sneaked into your parents room to wake your mom. She always knew how to comfort you. Instead of taking you back to bed and reading you a story, she always took you downstairs, made you hot chocolate and let you talk about whatever had troubled your young mind. 
And now you’re so much older and you don’t talk anymore. But you need to, you need to talk about it all so badly. So, you do. 
You tell her everything – from the sweetest note, to your overthinking, to all the fights she never knew about, to Nancy, to Tina’s Halloween party, to Eddie… You tell her absolutely everything. 
Tears fall as you talk about it all with a heavy heart. Relieving all the painful moments of your life and feeling the guilt of watching her eyes flash with sadness when she finally finds out the truth.
How you cried yourself to sleep. How you stopped eating and pretended to be okay in front of everyone. How heartbroken you were after he left. How unloved you felt for so long. How you have lost yourself after losing him before Eddie stepped into your life. How much Steve changed because of her. How he came back to you. How much he cared about you after all. How much he loved you after all. 
And as you finally talk, you can feel the weight getting lighter and lighter, falling off your shoulders but not completely. Not yet. But you let it all out, just like you tried with Robin but this feels different, your mom doesn’t try to lecture you, she doesn’t tell you what to do, what’s right and what’s wrong – she just listens because she knows that this is what you need. 
To talk, to cry, to feel. 
And when your tears stop falling and you calm down, she wraps her arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. 
“You are such a brave girl. I know you had your friends with you, and Eddie especially. But you didn’t have to be alone in this. I was here. I have always been here, my sweet girl. You were never alone, you were never unloved.”
You close your eyes, ignoring the trembling in your lips and the shakiness in your hands as you hug her tightly, laying your chin on her shoulder. She rubs your back and squeezes you. 
In her arms you feel safe and comforted, you don’t need to hide, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or scared. You’re just safe and at home. 
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, mom,” you whisper when you realize how lost you’d truly be if you didn’t have her. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 
“I’ll always be here, sweetheart.” 
You sniffle, falling silent again. 
“You know.. I always knew by the way.”
“Huh?”
“That you loved Eddie.”
Shocked at her words, you pull away from the hug and stare at her with wide eyes. 
“I know how to see your emotions through your eyes, my love. I am not your mother for nothing,” she laughs while wiping away your fallen tears, tucking your hair behind your ear. 
You roll your eyes with a soft smile on your face. 
“And I also knew about Eddie’s feelings. That boy would blush every time he came to pick you up and you would come down with a new dress or skirt. I don’t know how you didn’t see his ears getting all red.” 
Your eyes grow bigger, softening after her words as you’re beaming at her.
“You think he loves me, mom?”
She giggles, staring at you as though you’ve gone crazy. 
“Someone would have to be blind and deaf to not notice that.” 
You blush at her words, though you can’t hide the excitement that crosses your face when you think about him, when you think about seeing him later. You look at each other, as though she can read your mind, you both start giggling. 
She looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand. 
“You know that I’m proud of you, right?” She smiles. “You’re so strong. You have always been a fighter.”
“No. Not always,” you shake your head. “I didn’t always fight for what I wanted.” 
“But now you do, right?” 
You nod.
“Yeah, now I do.”
Your mom looks towards the stairs. You know what’s on her mind. You saw the disappointment, the anger and the sadness in her eyes when you told her the truth about Steve. 
You know that she isn’t angry at him – she would have been had you told her the truth from the start. But a year has passed and things have changed. Steve has changed. You have changed. And despite what you have gone through, you still love him.
And that is another reason for your tears. Steve has always been a part of your life and she knows that you are afraid to lose him again. You might lose your best friend. 
“And do you still love Steve?” 
“I do..” You whisper. “That’s why it’s all so.. complicated.” 
���Is it?” She asks, giving you a small smile. “Or do you make it complicated?”
You tilt your head, raising your brows at her question. 
“You can love them both and they will both be special to you, no matter what. But you can be in love with only one person.” 
You let her words sink in, but your heart only hurts more. 
You have been here so many times already. You have told yourself that you let him go, you have convinced yourself that you did but did you ever let him go? Did you ever allow yourself to move past it? No. Because letting go of him always filled you with so much fear. 
“I don’t want to lose him.” 
The pain in your eyes is very telling. The sadness gives away who you are talking about. 
“But the love you once had for him is somewhere else now, right?” 
You’re biting back tears. And after a few minutes of silence, you nod. 
“I love Eddie, mom. I really really love Eddie.” 
She smiles at your words, taking your hand, she looks into your eyes. 
“You know what you have to do then.. right?” 
You nod, getting sadder each passing second. 
“Yes,” you whisper. “I just– I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”
“You will hurt him more if you don’t talk to him. You need to give him closure. It’s the right thing to do, and it’s the only way the two of you can be happy.”
“I know,” you whisper, shakily. 
She gives you an encouraging smile, “you got this, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay.” 
“I hope so..”
She holds your hand a little tighter, giving it a squeeze. 
“You should get some sleep. You can sleep in my bed if you don’t wanna go back there. I gotta start getting ready for work now.”
“Already?” You frown as you turn around to look at the clock. It’s 4:30 am already. 
“Oh shit, I’m sorry for keeping you up. You really needed your sleep.”
She shakes her head at you, “no, it’s okay. I’m glad you finally talked to me.”
You smile at her, tilting your head to the side, “me too.”
“Take it easy, okay?” 
You nod. 
She gives your hand a pat before she gets up, ruffling your hair playfully as she moves past you, making you chuckle. 
“Hey mom?” 
She turns around before stepping out into the hallway, looking back at you. 
“Thank you.”
Her gaze softens, brows knitting together.
“Of course, sweetie,” the soft sound of your mom’s voice sounds through the kitchen. “I’m gonna go check on him.”
“Okay,” you nod. 
She gives you another smile before she turns around, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 
With a sigh, you look down and reach for the now half empty mug, you pull your knees up to your chest, taking a sip of the hot chocolate as you look out the window. 
It’s still dark out, the world is still sleeping, and you enjoy the last moments of this.
You’re not ready for the morning to come. 
You’re still not ready. 
-
Steve’s head is pounding, the pain is excruciating. He can’t open his eyes, not yet. The sun that is shining into the room is too bright. A groan falls from his lips and he clutches the pillow beneath his head, squeezing his eyes shut after trying to open them. 
He hears the birds chirping outside, he must have left his window open last night. He smells the fresh air, it instantly calms the sickening feeling in his chest a little. He sinks into the pillows and breathes in. 
The sweet and floral scent is so pleasant, it smells like you. He takes another deep breath, he smells your perfume, your shampoo, your vanilla body wash. His heart flutters and he can’t help but melt into the warmth of the bed and the scents that linger. He feels safe and comforted. 
It takes him a moment to realize that his pillows shouldn’t smell like you or your perfume. His bed isn’t usually this comfortable either. 
Steve opens his eyes slowly, groaning in pain when the light shines directly into his face. Hiding behind his hands, he sits up. He rubs his eyes and runs his hand through his messy hair. Turning his back to the window, he squints his eyes as he opens them again, trying to get used to the light. 
His throat feels so dry that it hurts and his head is killing him. He can still taste the whiskey on his tongue, it makes him nauseous. 
Once his eyes are fully adjusted to the light, he takes a look around the room and his heart skips in his chest, his red rimmed eyes widen when he realizes where he is. 
His stomach drops when he finds Advil on your nightstand next to a glass of water. 
“Oh fuck,” he groans as he buries his face back in his hands. Dread fills him when he starts to remember the previous night. 
The note. The Whiskey that he stole from his dad’s office. The tears that streamed down his face when he carelessly drove to your house drunk. You. He remembers the way you held him, the way you cried too. 
“Fuck,” he whispers, tugging at his hair. 
He chugs down the glass of water and after a moment of hesitation, he gets up from your bed and looks down at himself, noticing the new– well, old shirt. He puts on his Nike’s and walks into your bathroom to splash some cold water on his face but when he turns on the light and he takes a look into the mirror, he can’t help but feel sick. His eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, his skin looks pale and his hair has never looked worse than it does right now. 
He shakes his head at himself, hating his reflection more than anything, right now. 
With a sigh, he looks down, gripping the counter tightly, knowing that he has to face you now. 
He knows that there’s a small chance that you aren’t home, that you have left. But he knows that you wouldn’t do it while he is here, not even if you’re upset with him. 
After washing his face with cold water and using your mouth wash to get rid of that awful taste of whiskey, he walks back into your room, trying not to let the sadness take hold of him again but it’s hard not to fall into the pit of darkness again when he stands inside the room of the girl he loves, the girl he has made so many memories with, in here and anywhere else in this stupid small town. 
From good memories to bad ones. 
From innocent ones like picking flowers for you at the age of 12 to buying you a bouquet of flowers for your 16th birthday. 
From comforting hugs at school to cuddling in your bed at nights. 
From first kisses on your bedroom floor to more passionate kisses in his car after every stop at the streetlight. 
From making love in your bed to fighting in your room with tears streaming down your face. 
He sees the box on the ground, the one that you took out of your closet, last night. You kept his things, just like he kept yours. 
Did you struggle to get rid of them like he did? 
Did you keep them in hopes that you would find your way back together someday?
His hands are starting to get clammy, his heart starts pounding again. He takes another look around your room before he opens the door and steps out into the hallway. 
The faint sound of the music coming from the radio tells him that you are in the kitchen. He makes his way downstairs, ignoring the shakiness in his legs or his hands. The smell of coffee lingers in the air. 
He presses his lips together as he takes a deep breath before he steps into the kitchen. 
You’re leaning against the counter, your chin is propped on your hand, a book lying in front of you, you haven’t noticed him yet and Steve takes that as a chance to look at you. 
Your hand is wrapped around a mug that Eddie must have given you, you told him that he loves Garfield. He laughed about it when you did. 
It’s only 8 am. He knows you’re not working today, yet you’re already so put together. Make up on your already beautiful skin, hair done in waves, you’re wearing an outfit you certainly didn’t wear yesterday. God, you look so beautiful that it hurts. 
His heart longs for you, his hands itch to touch you – something that he could’ve done. 
In a different world, he would pull you into his arms and shower you with kisses, he would hold you, not wanting to let you go. He would make breakfast for you and then you would spend the day together. 
But you’re in this world. 
In a world where he can’t kiss you or hold you or spend the day with you. 
“Hey..”
You raise your head and your glassy eyes meet his. 
Another wave of guilt rushes through him. You cried. You cried because of him again. 
“Hi,” you whisper as you close your book and straighten your back, you look him up and down. 
Steve hates how concerned you look, how worried you are over him. 
You take a step forward, giving him a small smile. 
“Are you feeling okay?” 
He shrugs, trying to smile back at you. 
“I’ll make you a coffee, you should sit,” you nudge your head into the direction of the kitchen table. 
“Okay.”
He walks to the table and takes the seat that was once his. It’s been a long time since he sat here and watched you. 
You make the coffee first, pouring some into a Hawkins High mug. You add two sugars, still knowing how he likes his coffee. 
“When’s the last time you ate?” 
You place the mug in front of him, eying him with softness in your eyes, something that makes all of this even harder. 
He blinks, shrugging at your words. 
“Okay,” you sigh and pull back your hair, without thinking. “Bagels or Toast? I’ll make you some eggs if you want–”
Your voice becomes faint, like he’s under water, sinking further and further into the deep end. The marks on your neck are now visible to him, the hickeys that he left. Steve is not shocked or even surprised. He already knew when he came to you, last night. It was obvious, even through his drunken haze, he could see it in your eyes, the happiness that shined in them before you took in the sight of him. 
It still hurts. 
And it hurts even more to think about you with him, especially in that way. 
“Toast is just fine,” he mumbles. 
“Okay, Steve,” you whisper, this was always his go-to breakfast after a night out. Black coffee and toast. It’s plain but it’s the only thing he gets down. 
He keeps watching you. Eyes following your every moment. 
There is so much sadness inside of him but there is also more, there is acceptance. He knows why he came here last night. 
Bits and pieces start to return to him. He remembers what he confessed to you, how you held him, how you took care of him, how you comforted him. 
He truly never deserved you.
You place a plate in front of him, “you sure you want nothing else?” You point to the buttered toast. You added a few berries on the side. 
He gives you a smile, “you know I’ll probably get sick if I eat anything else,” he says, chuckling for the first time today. 
“Yeah,” you breathe. “You always had a weak stomach.” 
“Only when I drink whiskey.” 
You nod, sitting down opposite of him. You take a sip of your coffee and lean back. You look down and reach for the magazine that your mom was reading earlier, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by staring. 
Steve looks up at you and he just knows it’s the last time that he will have your coffee and your toast. 
It’s the last time he will get to sit here with you. 
So, for a moment, he pretends that everything is alright, that this is normal, that this is something you both do every day and for the rest of your lives, that he didn’t mess up, that everything is fine. 
He takes a few sips of the coffee and eats the toast, and when he’s done, he takes a deep breath and pushes the plate aside, not looking up from the coffee just yet. 
“I’m sorry.”
You close the magazine, sighing as you finally look up. 
“You said that already… many times, Steve.”
He doesn’t say anything to that. He only looks up at you, his eyes scan your face, his lips twitch. 
“You look happy, dolly.”
What?
You shake your head a little, furrowing your brows as you stare at him in confusion. 
“You have color in your skin again, you no longer.. are skin and bones,” he says, quietly. Looking down as his eyes fill with guilt, knowing that you stopped eating because of how heartbroken you were. “Your hair is longer, your nails are painted black– a color I didn’t like you putting on because I was a fucking asshole..”
“Steve–”
He shakes his head at you, not wanting you to interrupt him. 
“You wear stuff you always told me you wanted to buy, you started wearing makeup, the heavy kind you once tried and loved but thought it was too much,” he says with a smile on his face, a knowing one. 
You see the way his eyes fall to your neck and your heart jumps when you realize what he is looking at. Surprisingly, there is no shock in his eyes, jealousy or even anger, just sadness. He knows everything and it’s not the marks on your skin he needed to look at. 
“You are living again.. and god, I want to hate him for it but.. how can I when he saved you from the pain I put you through?” 
Your eyes burn with tears. 
“I’m done standing in your way–”
“Steve,” you whisper, shaking your head. “Y-You’re not standing in the way.”
“Yes, I am.” His voice is thick with tears and by the way he is blinking, you can tell that he is trying not to cry. 
He looks down at the necklace you are wearing, the locket he had put around your neck, months ago. 
He knows that there is no picture of him inside and as much as it hurts, it’s okay. 
He didn’t come here to fight for you. He didn’t come here for a second chance or to get you back. He came here to let you go. So you could find happiness, the way you always deserved it. 
“And I don’t want to anymore. I want you to be happy.”
Your bottom lip starts trembling again. 
“And I know that you will be with him,” he says as he tears his away from the marks on your neck and he looks into your glassy eyes. “He would never do what I did. He would never put you through all of this.” 
You sniffle, looking into your best friend’s eyes. There is so much pain and sadness lingering in them and you hate it, you hate it so much. 
“I never let you go, dolly,” he finally admits with a heavy sigh. “Not at Tina’s Halloween party, not when I came to see you the next day, not after we went to Jimmy’s party together. I never let you go.” 
Your brows knit together, eyes that stare back at him with pain, fill with more tears. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing and you look into the brown eyes you always loved so much. 
You never let him go either, that’s why it hurts so much. 
Knowing that this is the last time crushes your heart in a new way. You know that this could not only be the end of the relationship you always held onto. This could be the end of everything. 
This was always your worst fear. Losing him. 
You have lost him before but you always knew that he would come back. 
And he always knew it too. 
But this, this is different. 
And this hurts even more than it did the first time. 
You still love him, there is no doubt about that. Steve can see it in your eyes, it’s in the way you look at him, it’s in the way your lips tremble and your hands shake as fear crosses your face. You’re scared to lose him. 
How could he ever think anything else? How could he ever doubt your love for him when it’s so clearly written on your face? Even now. 
Steve can’t help but wonder; would it have worked out between you if there wasn’t someone else? 
If Nancy never stepped into his life. 
If Eddie never stepped into your life. 
Would you have stayed together? 
Would you have broken up either way? 
Would you have found your way back together in the future? 
Would he have been able to make it up to you? 
Would you get your happy ending then?
“I dropped some heavy stuff on you last night,” he mumbles, cheeks flushing red when he remembers all the things he had said to you. 
“Oh, you mean marriage and kids?” You ask as a smile tugs on your lips when you see him blushing. 
He scratches the back of his neck, scrunching his face up, “yeah..”
You laugh a little, leaning your elbow on the table, you cup your cheek, “well, I never thought that far ahead when we were still together. I mean, I never knew what I wanted for my future but I knew that I wanted you in it,” you say, watching the way he nods at you. “And maybe a cat or a dog.” 
He chuckles. 
“Or maybe a few cats and a dog.” 
A fond smile reaches his face as he stares at you, shaking his head at the thought of all the pets you’d bring home while he’d– his smile begins to fade, it will never happen. 
“Well, I’m sure that Eddie will love that.”
Your heart flutters at the thought of a future with him. Yeah, Eddie will love that. 
“You’ll be happy with him. He will make you happy,” he says confidently because he knows that he will. “And if not, well, then I’ll take you back to that treehouse and I’ll marry you again.”
A laugh falls from your lips as a tear finally rolls down your cheek. 
“The treehouse we got married in when we were ten?” 
“Yeah,” he whispers. “That one. You know I still got that paper ring,” he says with a serious face.
“I do too, I put it in a box,” you giggle. 
His eyes light up and he smiles at you, but he watches the tear roll down your cheek and then another. He stands up and he walks over to you, his heart skips a beat when you look up at him with your beautiful eyes. He cups your cheeks, wiping away the tears. 
“I don’t want you to cry over me anymore,” he whispers, holding your face for the last time. 
“Steve,” you whisper, shakily. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
You knew that this was coming. You knew that this had to happen. If he didn’t come to you last night, then you’d be the one coming to him to talk and put an end to this, once and for all. 
“I love you with all my heart and I ache for you, all the goddamn time but I don’t deserve you. You should have never forgiven me. You should have never treated me like a friend. You should have never given me the chance to be near you again… not after what I did.”
You grab his wrists, shaking your head at his words. Scared that he will leave you for good. Scared that he will leave your friendship behind and step out of your life forever. 
Steve hates to see the way your lips tremble, the way your eyes are nothing but tears, sadness and heartbreak, yet again. 
He can’t stand to see it any longer. 
“I let you go,” he whispers as he wipes your tears again. “Like you asked me to months ago.”
His heart is screaming at him not to, everything inside of him longs for him to stay, to fight for you, to drop to his knees and ask to try again. 
But this is the right thing to do. 
There is someone who can give you more than he can. 
Someone who didn’t hurt you. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you. Someone who would rather get hurt by you than do something to break your heart. 
“I choose you, sweetheart. This time, I choose you and your happiness.” 
A sad smile lingers on his face, he brushes your hair back and he looks down at the locket, one last time. 
He knows why you aren’t speaking, you’d break down if you would. 
He leans down, tilting your head up a little, he presses his lips against your forehead, kissing you one last time. 
His throat feels tight and his chest is hurting, he knows that he is on the verge of another breakdown, he is so very close to it. 
This is the hardest thing he will ever have to do. 
“Goodbye, Dolly.”
Your sniffles break his heart. You only hold his wrists tighter in response, holding onto them, your touch lingers on the wristband, one that he will never stop wearing. You let go after a few seconds. 
He feels your eyes on him, your big sad eyes. He can’t bear to take another look at you, knowing that he won’t be able to leave if he does, so he steps away from you, despite his heart telling him not to. 
He turns around and he walks away from you for the last time. He grabs his keys that you left on the counter, last night. 
With a heavy heart, he walks out of your house, biting back tears as he makes his way to his car. 
It’s over now. 
Something he held onto since he left you, is over. 
And now he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 
He unlocks his car when the front door bursts open, startling him. He turns around with tears in his eyes that threaten to spill. Before he can even react, you suddenly crash into his arms, and wrap your arms around him, you hold onto him like you’re afraid that he might disappear if you let go. You hug him so tightly.
His eyes soften and his chest fills with warmth. 
He doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, he holds you tight and buries his face in your neck. 
No matter what happened in the past. No matter what he did to you. No matter how much pain you have gone through, you still don’t want to live in a world where he isn’t in your life. 
After all, he will always be the boy who picked flowers for you, who surprised you with your favorite snacks, who comforted you whenever your parents fought, who slept in your bed when you were afraid of storms, who taught you how to slow dance, who wrote you notes when he was younger, who promised you to be your prince when your first crush rejected you. 
You hold onto him, pressing your cheek against his chest. 
You stay like that for a moment, for a long moment – one that could never be long enough. 
He breathes you in and closes his eyes, ignoring the fluttering in his chest. 
He knows that this should make him feel better, to know that you love him enough to forgive him, to want him to stay but if anything, it makes him feel worse because he is still losing you.
He knows he has to walk away, for now. 
“I love you, Stevie.” 
He smiles sadly. 
He knows it’s not the same as it was. It’s not the I love you’s from all your notes. He knows it’s not the same love he feels for you, not anymore.
But the love you always had for him. The love you had since you were kids. 
And for him that’s more than he could ever ask for. 
“I love you too, Dolly.”
You sniffle, he can feel you shaking against him. You’re trying not to cry. 
“Please don’t become a stranger again, Steve.”
His breath hitches in his throat, he presses his lips together, willing the tears to stop from falling. 
“Me?” He asks, pulling back to look down at you. He musters up a smile. “I might need some time but I will latch onto you as soon as I get over my whiny ass.” He jokes, despite the pain in his heart. 
You roll your eyes but laugh at his words. 
You take a deep breath and sigh. 
This is it. 
This is what was supposed to happen. 
It hurts but you also feel relieved to finally put an end to something that kept holding you back for so long. 
You know you won’t truly lose him. 
He will always be your Steve. 
And you will always be his Dolly.
But it won’t ever be the same. 
You will be his friend and he will be yours and that’s all you’ll ever be. 
You won’t be sad forever and neither will he. 
He will find love after you. 
He will find it like you did. 
It’s what he deserves. 
It’s what you both deserve. 
“We kinda got friendship bracelets now,” he smiles through his tears, pointing to the wristband as he holds his hand up. You reach out to touch it, tracing the words. 
‘love you to the moon and to saturn’
“Well, I got one, you have a necklace.” 
You smile, placing your hand on the locket, “yeah.” 
You turn it around, looking at the half moon that he got customized just for you. 
You tear your eyes away from him and look around, furrowing your brows when you realize something. 
“You know what, we should stop doing this.”
“What do you mean?” He asks, tilting his head. 
“Saying goodbye in my driveway.” 
He chuckles, though it’s a sad one. 
“This is the last one,” he whispers. “Of this kind, at least. Our future goodbyes won’t be so…”
“Sad?”
“Yeah.” He takes your hand, giving it a squeeze. 
“Promise?” 
“I promise.”
He takes a step forward, he leans down and kisses your cheek, not paying attention to the feeling in his heart or the way his lips tingle when they touch your skin for the last time. He gives your hand a squeeze before he pulls away again. 
“I’ll see you around.” 
He can tell that you’re trying not to cry,  that you are forcing a smile onto your face. 
“Yeah, I’ll see you around, Steve.”
You can tell that he wants to say more. He looks at you. His eyes trace every inch of your face, like he’s trying to memorize you. And then, he nods to himself, blinking and giving you one last smile before he turns away from you. 
You watch him leave. 
For the last time, you watch him walk away from you. 
You stand there and wait until he is gone, until you no longer see his car in the distance. 
And just like that, he is gone, again. 
And your tears are falling again. 
-
A/N: I know that no one cares about my feelings cause I did this. But I want you to know that I freaking suffered writing this chapter. It felt heartbreaking and sad and wrong. I really wanted Steve to be the one. And my choice has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an Eddie girl, I love Steve, as well. (I know some of you don't believe this but I've loved him since 2016 so shut up, please and thanks). I didn't know how to make him come back from all what he did -- the emotional cheating, the pain he put her through, the heartbreak, the betrayal. It was too much and this ending genuinely has nothing to do with Eddie being in this story.
But also, please remember. This is not the ending of the story. So before you send any hate to me, remember that there will be another chapter and an epilogue. Anything can happen in an epilogue, just saying.
Also, I'll be working on a new Steve series. Strictly Steve x reader, I promise
@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @succubusmunson @xxhellfirebunnyxx @somethingvicked @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @munson-mjstan
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crusty-chronicles · 2 months
Text
HxH Men Throwing Down with their S/O's Plushies
Synopsis: How hxh men react to your plushie collection, and if they'd fight them when you're not there.
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An: I'm tired of all the fine men being ignored in the HxH fandom. Here's a Valentine's Day special of some of my favorites who are always overlooked for the most white bread, cardboard personality, toxic men.*cough cough* adult trio* cough cough*
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Leorio 🩺
100% fights your plushies
Without a doubt he throws down with them when you're not there. Even when you're in the room he's throwing hands.
And it is personal 😤
You've caught him on several occasions saying- "Think you can sleep next to my girl/man and get away with it?!? You homewrecker!!!!”
It's honestly really funny to see him put one of your giant bears in a headlock.
But you have to stop him before he tears it because those things are expensive goddamit.
“Leave him alone. I've had him for about ten years and I doubt you could find me another one. So drop him,” you lecture.
And he begrudgingly drops your big teddy bear. But not before complaining that you love it more than him.
All pouty and upset until you kiss his cheek and reassure him.
“Babe, they're not alive. You have absolutely no competition for my heart.”
He knows that, but they're everywhere. Watching him with their beady little eyes from their place on your bed.
Which reminds me-
He piledrives your little plushies when you're not in the room.
If he had it his way, they'd all be locked away somewhere.
But because he loves you with his whole heart, he moves them away from your side of the bed to his.
What? Those little bastards thought they'd get to sleep next to you when he's home? Not a chance!
He hates them for the attention you give them, but he also contributes to your collection.
Whenever he's got funds to spare, he'll bring you home a new addition.
With the condition that you give him twice as many cuddles ☝️
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Ging 🎣
He's a little less aggressive than Leorio, but he still fights your plushies.
And he fights with the intent to win.
Which more often than not leads them to getting ruined.
Tackles the absolute hell out of your big plushies. Then he'll jab it's stomach a few times.
“Getting a little too comfortable on my side, Jeremiah?”
If they're on the bed, they're on the floor when you get back.
Doesn't really do it for jealousy, but because he thinks your reaction is funny.
He'll throw one of the smaller ones off and you let out the most offended gasp.
“You stop that right now! You're gonna get him dirty! And I can't put him in the washer!”
He comes up with excuses too, just to see how much you'll let him get away with.
“That one was looking at me funny.” “You've got a place on your bed for each and every one of those little shittlings, but absolutely no room for me. It's not fair.” “I didn't get you that one, so it's under the bed where it belongs.”
The answer: you let him get away with a lot. You secretly think it's cute, but it's annoying how filthy he gets them.
He also steals them from time to time.
Totally not because he likes having something of you when he's away. What? You're crazy 🙄🙄🙄
He'll complain, but he'll always get you replacements for the ones he damages. He'll even get you the jumbo versions of the little ones.
Just because he loves you, despite his lackluster way of showing it.
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Morel 🚬
He's pretty respectful about it
Does not fight them.
But, every man has his weakness.
So there are times when he'll pick one of the smaller ones up and inspect it. Right before he squeezes it completely in his hand.
Why does he do it? Just because.
They're like little stress balls
And it's during one of these moments of weakness that you catch him.
“You're choking out my poor frog! Let him go before his eye pops out!”
And he laughs. He thinks it's sweet how much you love these things.
Even if you've got them on shelves and they stare into his soul at night.
He makes it a habit not to smoke or use his ability in front of them.
They hold too much sentimental value to you. And the last thing he wants is for you to get upset.
But the squishing? It doesn't stop.
It's like they're begging to be smooshed.
And you never fail to get after him every time.
“Quit abusing my babies!” You scold before taking back your stuffed rabbit.
He lets you have another bed to put all your plushies on.
He's a big man 😤😤😤 He can't afford space to share with them. He also likes to sleep next to his partner undisturbed, thank you 😤.
Also contributes to your collection.
And we're not talking every once and a while.
He's got that hunter money, so if you see something you want, it's yours
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Knov 👔
Arguably the most mature of the bunch
Your precious little babies are safe from him
It doesn't even cross his mind to fight them
That being said, your plushies aren't allowed on the bed at all ☹️
“I refuse to have my sleeping space occupied by that thing.” He said, gesturing to a very well loved seal plush. One of its eyes missing.
“What’s wrong with Samuel?”
“Look at it. The poor thing's traumatized. And you're gonna end up choking on its stuffing.”
They aren't even allowed in the bedroom on shelves.
However☝️, he does end up doing something special for you because of how much you adore your plushies.
He lets you dedicate one entire room to your collection. Buy a little bed for you to put them on. Even gets special shelves installed for you.
That's their room and theirs alone.
Also encourages you to get more now that you have ample space for them.
Every trip/mission he leaves for, he always makes sure to bring you something back.
Whether it be one of the huge bears or a little keychain plush, he gets it for you.
Definitely not a man afraid to spend on his S/O and their interest.
He also doesn't bat an eye at the attention you give them.
They mean a lot to you, but so does he judging by the way you're always ready to compromise
That and the way you cuddle closer to him at night and say-
“You're a whole lot better than even my softest of plushies.”
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Knuckle 🐕
On a bad day, it's on sight.
Always the bigger ones too
“What're you looking at?” And then he'll wrestle whatever poor plush caught his eye first.
But he feels incredibly bad about it afterwards
Picking up your little dinosaur nugget plush with tears in his eyes.
“I'm so sorry. You're mother's/father's gonna kill me for this.”
Even goes as far as to stitch up any little holes if he damaged them.
What can I say? He's a total softie
Like many of the men on here, he does contribute to your collection.
But you also inadvertently make him start his own 💀
You'll buy one for yourself and because it needs a friend, you buy another.
Only to gift it to him because ‘They’re dating like us.’ 🥺
That's how it starts.
You start buying plushies in pairs.
One for you and one for him.
It never fails to make Knuckle cry.
“Babe really? You didn't have to.”
And he's cradling the little dog plush you got him with such care. Like it's the most delicate thing in the world.
He, of course, makes sure to get another set to pay you back.
Plushies in the bed?
100%
No complaints here.
Even memorizes the names of all of them.
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Kurapika ⛓️
He simply does not have the energy to fight your plushies
He comes home tired and drained, understandably. And the first thing he does is collapse on the bed, right on top of them.
Doesn't think twice about it. In fact, he likes the extra cushion they provide.
And you don't mind all that much either. Kurapika does a lot. He's been through a lot.
If he wants to rest right on top of your plushies, he's more than welcome.
However, when he's not completely exhausted, he's mean to them ☹️
He'll push off the ones on his side of the bed to make space for himself. And he will not pick them up
Or he'll hide the one you usually snuggle with at night so he can cuddle you himself.
He just wants your warmth after a long day. Is that so much to ask for?
“Kurapika, have you seen my octopus plush anywhere?”
And he'll look away guiltily before mumbling a ‘No. Can't say that I have.’
But he always puts it back when he knows he'll be gone for a while.
He knows it brings you comfort, and who is he to take that away from you.
He does get pouty when you give them extra attention.
“I've been gone for a month and you're too busy cleaning that thing to greet me.” He complains.
Only for you to get up and wrap your arms around him. Giving his cheek a smooch before saying-
“You know you're precious to me. But I wouldn't be so busy cleaning my baby if you'd stop leaving him on the floor.”
He makes it up to you everytime by getting you another one.
He always makes sure to pick you something up when he comes back from searching for his clan's eyes.
A little thank you for always waiting for him and giving endless patience.
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Kite 🪁
Another man whom your plushies are safe from
He's supportive of your collection, but all he asks is that they don't take up the entire bed.
If they do, he's a little mean about it and organizes them all on your side.
That's about as far as he goes with messing with them.
He definitely builds you shelves to keep them in
Again, the less of them in the bed, the more space you two have.
He thinks it's cute how much you care about them, and likes to indulge you by asking how you got them.
He listens to each and every story you have and why each plush is special to you.
Safe to say, this man does not get jealous
A piece of fluff with stuffing is the last thing he's worried about
That being said, he contributes less frequently to your collection than the other men on this list
He limits them to special occasions like your birthday or an anniversary.
Why?
He wants to make sure each one is attached to a special moment so you hold them just as dear as your other ones.
An import memory that you're able to hold onto
He's also careful around your plushies.
He doesn't wanna get them dirty or accidentally tear them because of how much they mean to you.
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Wing 👓
This man right here is a 10/10
The absolute sweetest man
The thought doesn't even cross his mind to throw down with your plushies
In fact, he prides himself on taking care of them while you're out
Dusting them off, reorganizing them, stitching up any little holes he sees
Also someone who goes out of his way to memorize all their names.
Knows each one by heart because he always listens intently when you talk about them
Your big dinosaur?
That's Chungus.
The little raccoon?
Sylvester.
You want the plushies in bed?
Of course! Each one has their own special place. And he makes sure there's enough space for the both of you.
If he's got money to spare, he's definitely gonna get you something.
You don't even have to ask, he's already bringing you home a little duck plush that Zushi thought you'd like. What can he say? The kid adores you
This man doesn't get jealous whatsoever
In fact, you're the one who ends up getting pouty because he's taking fantastic care of your plushies.
“Honey, I want cuddles.” You whine.
And he's cleaning off one of your bears with a damp rag.
“In a minute, dearest. You got him dirty last night.”
But as soon as he's done, you've got his full attention
He just knows how much you love those things and wants you to be able to cherish them for as long as possible.
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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 💕💕💕💕
467 notes · View notes
kentopedia · 10 months
Note
AAAA YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD AAA I LOVE IT!!! Could you write some fluffy soft mushy stuff about cuddling gojo? he deserves to be held and loved and appreciated
alone with the moon
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FEATURING. gojo satoru x f!reader — wc: 1.9k
CONTENTS: i accidentally added angst, but it's mostly cute! no spoilers, sfw!!! gojo comes home late from a mission!
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You waited, pushing your ear against the phone as the line rang, once, twice, a third time.
When the voice of Satoru Gojo, leading you to his voicemail box, answered again, your confidence waned, concern only growing about his condition.
Your texts remained delivered, and a response bubble never once appeared, even though you willed it to. The last time you’d heard a word from him was this morning, when he was leaving for work, promising he’d be home before dinner. Satoru never went long without answering you, and the food sat cold on the table without a word.  
In a rush of panic, you’d reached out to Shoko, Nanami, anyone you could possibly think of that he might contact in a pinch. Though, none of them had heard from him in days, and you started to doubt that he’d ask for backup, even if he really needed it.
A terrible image rooted inside your chest. Satoru was strong, but he wasn’t immortal, and you knew that he could be lying somewhere, alone, dying. If that was the case, you’d be none the wiser.
You worried your lip, feeling like you were slowly losing a grip on sanity. If he’d just send you a simple heart in return, a space, anything to let you know that he was okay, you could release the tight grip that squeezed every ounce of oxygen from your lungs. Instead, you sat in silence, holding your phone like a lifelong, incapable of thinking of anyone but the man who hadn’t even told you where he was going.
Finally, the door opened. It shut. You held your breath until the sound of heavy, recognizable footsteps padded down the hall, and you were to your feet in a flash, rushing around the corner.
Gojo’s shoulders were slumped as he slowly pulled the blindfold over his head, soft white hair falling onto his forehead. Before he’d had the chance to say a word, you’d thrown yourself into him, your tight embrace crushing his arms to his hips.
He relaxed immediately, holding you just as closely. “I missed you too, honey.”
Although you usually melted at the sound of his voice, the casual tone that he dared to use, to insinuate that nothing was wrong, was enough to irritate you. You shoved him away, lips drawn into a thin line. “Where the hell were you?”
Gojo blinked back, frosty eyelashes falling over wide crystal eyes. Then, he was rummaging through his pocket with a cheeky smile, pulling out the phone that had cracked, splintered, rendered completely unusable. “Sorry. I would’ve called you if I could.”
You inhaled. Released a shaky breath and tried to calm your nerves before you said something you didn’t actually mean.
Gojo’s smile quickly turned into a frown. “I didn’t mean to make you wait. You should’ve gone to bed.”
Though he was trying to comfort you, the comment only served to upset you more. “You think I could have just gone to sleep? You should’ve told me where you were going. No one had any idea where you were and I couldn’t get a hold of you, and—”
You stilled, burying your face in your hands before Gojo had come up around you, his tall frame hovering over you, enveloping you in a cocoon of safety. His fingers ran along your spine, stopping softly at every bone before he continued to the next notch, thinking. “I don’t want you to worry. You don’t need to worry.”
“I always worry.” The words were plain, offered to him without any dressing, no way to cover them up into anything but exactly what they were. “That’s the cruel reality of being a sorcerer.” You swallowed, burying your face into his chest, even though he smelled of dirt and sweat and the sickening smell that lingered from cursed spirits. “You may be Satoru Gojo, but with everything that’s been going on, I can’t help but wonder if each time you leave will be the last time that I see you.”
Satoru was quiet, contemplative. He stopped tracing your skin, instead letting his large palm rest still on your hip. “I’m okay, baby. Really.”
Leaning back in his arms, you scanned him. A gash cut across his cheek and grime had splattered all over his uniform. “Are you?” you asked in a soft voice, wiping your thumb against the wound. “You’re bleeding, Satoru.” The color stained your finger, revealing the outline of your thumbprint that had smeared against his skin.
Gojo pulled your hand away, gently grasping your wrist, as if to redirect your attention, even though you could focus on nothing but the crimson stain. “It wasn’t from the curse. I let my guard down a moment. Some debris hit me in the face, that’s all.” He smiled, though you couldn’t be sure he was telling the truth, his voice hushed. “It’s just a scratch.”
It looked like more than just a scratch, the droplets deep red as they flowed down to his chin. “You’re exhausting yourself,” you said, swallowing the wave of emotion that threated to drag you down. “You can’t keep doing this.”
“I have to—”
“Even you have your limits.” With a sigh, you untangled yourself from his embrace, taking his hand to lead him to the bathroom. “This is reckless, Satoru. If they need your help so bad, they should understand you’re no used to them dead.”
His lips curled, but the smile lacked any of the usual charm. “I’ll be okay.”
“You always say that, but lately, I’ve been finding it hard to believe.” There were bandages in the medicine cabinet, ointment, and you rummaged them, thinking. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Satoru was quiet as you pushed him onto the countertop, his legs long enough to reach the floor completely. You stood between them, wiping a warm cloth over his cheekbone, scrubbing harder where the blood had already crusted over.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Satoru apologized again, his eyes soft under long lashes. “You know I would’ve called you if I could.”
“I know.” You swallowed, unable to hold his gaze for long. With shaky hands, you placed a ridiculously shaped bandage over his cheek, grateful that you could something, even something as small as this. “There,” you said in a tender voice, hating the way your lips quivered around the syllable. “All done.”
Satoru smiled and leaned forward, wrapping two strong arms around your shoulders. “Thank you. I didn’t realize I had my own little nurse.”
You rolled your eyes and kissed him on the cheek, right over the scratchy little band aid, exhaling a sharp laugh. “You don’t need a nurse. You need some sleep.”
He didn’t answer as you led him to the bedroom, the exhaustion on his face too evident for an objection.
The sheets were already pulled back from your earlier attempts at sleep, when you were too tense and worried to keep your eyes shut. Now, the blankets were too alluring to resist, warm and heavy, and you sunk easily into the mattress, exhaling relief.  
When Satoru laid beside you, you rolled over, forcing him onto his side so that you could wrap your arms securely around him.
For half a moment, he tensed, surprised, but didn’t object to the change in your usual position. Instead, he held your hand tighter against his chest, letting you intertwine your legs with his own.
Satoru was warm, and he needed a shower, but you were too consumed by overwhelming relief that you didn’t care about anything but being near him.
“I’m okay, sweetie,” he said after a moment of unbroken silence, caressing your knuckles with rough fingertips. “Really, you don’t need to—”
Swallowing, you buried your forehead further into his neck, breathing in the cotton and detergent from the fresh shirt he’d changed into. Sweat lingered on his skin, and his hair was tangled, but the faint smell of his cologne remained. “Just let me hold you, Satoru.”
The moment was serene as he contemplated his next words.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, uncertain. The opposite of every adjective that most people would use to describe him.
It was not a question that could be so easily answered with a yes or no, and you wondered what you could say that wouldn’t upset him. Satoru was the sun, but he belonged to more than just you; one singular person couldn’t bottle up that light and threaten to hide it away from the rest of the world, just to keep it safe.
“I don’t want you to think you’re alone in this, because you’re not.” You hummed your words, maintaining every syllable on a single tone, hoping it wasn’t evident that your voice was near collapse. “Let everyone else think Satoru Gojo is invincible, but I know better.” The hum of the fan became your focus, his subtle breaths interrupting the white noise.
He squeezed your hand, silent once. Another minute passed. Sounds from outside cut through it, sharp. “I don’t have another choice.”
He never meant to scare you, but it happened anyway. It would always happen, so long as you harbored a shred of affection for the man who’d never had any other choice but to be a jujutsu sorcerer. You pressed a kiss to his neck, then, the skin warm and soft there.
“I know.” A sigh left your lips. You were grateful that you weren’t facing him. “The world needs you. Am I selfish for thinking I need you more?”
Satoru turned in one fluid movement, crushing you to his chest, burying his nose in your hair. His arms squeezed your stomach, so much tighter than you anticipated, but you were safe, warm, and he was sheltered there with you. “I could never think you’re selfish for that.” You clung to him. “I’m sorry I can’t be here with you more.”
Another wave of stillness hit the two of you, in which neither of you knew what to say next. His breath was cold against your ear. “It’s okay,” you said, even though sometimes it wasn’t, and you missed him every moment that he was away. “I’ll still be here every time you return.”
You ran your fingers through his hair, untangling the soft, white strands.
“I’m proud of you, Satoru. Sometimes, I just wish you’d let me take care of you. I wish I could do more.”
You felt him laugh, though there was little amusement in it, and you wondered if, maybe, he wished that too. But he was Satoru Gojo, and you were just a grade one sorcerer, and when it came to jujutsu, the gap of power is wide between you. There are missions he must take that no one else can, not even you, and you’ll have to live with that for the rest of your life.
“You don’t need to do more.” He kissed your temple and relinquished his position once more, flipping to his side. Your stomach was once again pressed to his chest as you hold him.
There were no words left to be said. Instead, you held his wrist loosely in your hand, swirling patterns into it with your thumb. For once, Satoru’s breathing evens out before your own, and you are left alone once more.
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