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thelittlepalmtree · 2 years

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This may be controversial But I want to say right now I'm only speaking from my personal experience. I am not making generalizations I live in upstate New York. I'm a lower to middle income person.

So in the last few months I have decided to explore sexuality in a way that I haven't been able to before. And I'm not gonna get into the details but I will say like I never had a long term relationship before I still haven't had one. And I only recently started to explore physical relationships. So I have been using dating apps though for a really long time. And I've gone on a lot of dates I've met a lot of different people. And one thing that I find interesting is that I only started dating after I realized I was a lesbian. And before I Came out as a lesbian I thought that I was pansexual but that I would only ever be able to be interested in women because women are better. Like in my mind in theory there was a man that existed that could convince me that I wasn't fully a lesbian but that man was Too good to be true. Some of you guys are like I can smell the comphet from here. And that's basically what was going on.

But I started dating in Like 2018 ish. And I thought that being a lesbian I was safer from certain issues then a straight woman. And to some extent this is true I am generally not afraid of sexual assault when I go on dates. I take precautions regardless but it's not like a big concern I have. I don't have to worry about STI as much. Because again it's just not as much of a concern when you're having lesbian sex. And also identify as a sexual so I'm not necessarily engaging in Situations where there's a lot of risk. But there is unsafe behavior and just shitty behavior that we have come to associate with men and I've actually seen this a lot.

Like I have recently decided to explore what I might be interested in sexually. I'm still somewhere on the asexual spectrum but I don't really know where. I'm thinking demisexual. So I have been trying to initiate sexual relationships I have been discussing sex with a lot of people. And I've also been having experiences that I thought would not happen to me because I am a lesbian. Because I didn't think that this was behavior that women did frequently. So for example my 1st sexual encounter was really uncomfortable because the person I had the person I had sex with was not responding to me explicitly saying what I wanted and then I wasn't turned on and so it was a disappointing experience. To say the least. I've also had experiences where people have like crossed boundaries in a way that I didn't expect women to do. I've had people make a lot of assumptions.

And here's where the controversial part comes in. Most of the time this behavior comes from more masculine presenting individuals. So I do not know if the issue is masculinity or something along those lines. But I'm just gonna leave that fact out there.

But even in a non physical context. I've had people who present in all different ways treat treat me really badly. I've been up front with people that I'd prefer to be friends 1st who dropped me the minute it became clear that I wasn't going to hook up with them or have sex with them. I've had people pretend they were into me and then the be really shitty to me. I've had People explain to me and lecture me about stuff when I clearly knew more than they did. I've had people not pick up on social cues I've had people cross lines. And overall it hasn't really affected me because like childhood abuse like I'm immune to everything. But when I look back on my experiences, I'm realizing that there is this understanding that queer relationships are somehow better or more wholesome than straight relationships in a lot of contexts.

Like to be honest I did feel like the Internet set me up to believe that like the 1st girl that I met that I had a crush on was gonna be my soulmate and we were gonna get married and be happy forever because women are perfect and beautiful and they would never do wrong by each other. Not like header sexual couples which are all nagging girlfriend and lazy boyfriend. But I think the truth is that relationships are tough. And sometimes people don't mesh well with each other, That's OK. But expecting people to treat you well because of their gender or their sexuality is setting yourself up for disappointment regardless of your gender or Sexuality.

I guess TLDR lesbians can be assholes too. But I think it's just interesting how we will sometimes present I'm presents the issue is with relationships as being systemic and they probably are but that doesn't mean that just not being straight fixes the problems. I will also say that if you are lesbian and you don't live in an urban center be prepared to have really shitty options.

#lesiban #wlw

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elliesslvt · 1 year

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boxer! ellie williams x fem! reader (modern au)

ʚĭɞೃ author’s note: @666findgod highkey inspired this fic.

ʚĭɞೃ description/warning: 2.4k words; black fem!reader, pet names (babe, baby), modern au, smut with plot, fingerfucking, porn with plot, dry humping, dom/sub dynamics, choking, nipple play, ellie is a boxer, super fluffy, minors aren’t allowed!

during boxing season ellie would wake up every weekday at 5am to get ready to go to the boxing gym she owned to practice for her upcoming fight. everyday without fail you’d beg her for an extra five minutes of cuddling before she left.

“ellie 5 more minutes of cuddles please.”

“babe we go over this every morning, i gotta’ hurry.”

“pretty please el.” you pleaded with a pout on your face.

“five more minutes babe, that’s it.”

once you fell back asleep ellie slipped from under your arm to start her morning routine. once ellie finished she made her way towards the kitchen of the apartment you two shared. since ellie wasn’t much of a cook, every night you’d prepare a protein filled breakfast and lunch so that she didn’t have to worry about it when she got ready.

“where would i be without her.” ellie whispered to herself as she opened the fridge to reveal the usual lunch and breakfast you’d pack for her. before she made her way out the house she quickly ran back upstairs, kissed your forehead, then whispered “i love you.” to you.

as ellie was two hours into her workout you were beginning to wake up. you quickly patted your head to make sure your bonnet was on, which it was. once you gathered enough energy to get up you went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and shower. you were thankful that ellie’s gym made enough profit from the memberships and private sessions that she hosted so that she would be able to hire you as a receptionist, so that you wouldn’t have to work too far.

once you were on the road to ellie’s gym you decided to stop by a smoothie place to grab breakfast for you and some drinks for everyone at the gym.

balancing the two cup holders on your arms you pulled open the door of your destination.

“hey everyone, your favorite receptionist is here.”

“y/n!” everyone yelled as they made their way towards the door.

“i got all of you guys green smoothies since all you guys are health freaks i hope that’s okay.” you placed the cup holders on the front desk in fear that you’d drop the smoothie. “fine by us.”

looking around the front area of the gym you only saw dina, tommy, and jesse. “is ellie still training with joel?”

“yeah they’re upstairs.” dina said as she grabbed a smoothie from the cup holder.

“ugh, i’m heading upstairs.”

climbing up the stairs you could hear the faint voice of joel lecturing ellie on boxing techniques. once you reached where joel and ellie were, you decided to wait until joel finished talking to interrupt since they hadn’t noticed you.

“ellie i know you usually have these suckers on the floor by round three but that’s not always the case. i need you to conserve your stamina. if you don’t it can get real ugly for you, even if you have the upper hand." joel critiqued as ellie was hunched over with her hand on her knees.

“yeah got it.”

watching ellie you could tell she was tired. the sweat on her body made her tan skin glisten which was evidence of how long she probably had been practicing with joel. as much as you tried to push the thoughts to the back of your mind you couldn’t help but admire how good ellie looked. her auburn hair was pulled away from hair with a few stray pieces clinging to her forehead due to her sweating. ellie’s sleeve tats were revealed because of the sports bra she wore and the loose shorts she wore revealed her toned muscular legs that you'd use to get yourself off plenty of times.

“father in law i think she deserves a break.” you insisted as you made your way towards the ring.

slipping under the barrier of the ring you gave joel a quick hug then made your way to ellie.

once she saw you her eyes lit up and all the fatigue you saw in her body seemed to disappear. “hi babe.” she sang as she pulled you closer for a kiss and slapped your ass.

“ew you’re sweaty el, and i’m pretty sure joeman doesn’t want to see this. oh, i got you guys green smoothies, they're downstairs.”

joel silently watched from a corner with a smile on his face at the interaction between you two. everyday he was reminded how perfect you were for his daughter.

“okay 15 minute break, not a second later.”

you squealed then grabbed ellie’s hand to lead her downstairs. once ellie grabbed her smoothie you sat in the lounge area of the gym so you two could have some alone time before she had to get back to her training.

“did you enjoy your breakfast, baby?”

“i loved it; thank you by the way, you're the best.”

after slurping down her smoothie, ellie grabbed you from where you were sitting and placed you on her lap.

“ellie this isn’t the place for this.”

“i haven’t even done anything yet.” she said this while placing small kisses on your neck, which caused you to let out a small whimper.

once she found your spot, she began softly sucking on it, causing you to let out a louder moan and tug on her hair.

“e-ellie please.”

her veiny hands made their way between her legs and began tracing your cunt. you instinctively grabbed onto ellie’s shoulders and tucked your head in the crook of her neck.

“ellie, 15 minutes are up; get your ass up here!” you jolted in ellie’s lap at joel’s voice.

“fuck man, we’ll finish this later, okay, i love you, babe.”

once ellie got you off her lap, she sprinted back upstairs. you knew by the time she got home later, she’d be dead tired, so once you got home, you knew you’d be getting yourself off.

through all five hours of your shift, you thought about your rose toy sitting in the second drawer of your dresser. as you were going to clock out, you made your way upstairs, where everyone else was, to say your goodbyes. ellie hovered over the corner of the ring as she waited for you to give her a goodbye kiss.

“get home safe, okay, i’ll see you later. i love you.”

“i love you too.”

once you got home, you dropped your purse on the kitchen counter and made your way to the bathroom. you had an hour and thirty minutes until ellie came home, so you had to be quick.

as you were waiting for the water to heat up in the shower, you quickly wrapped a scarf around your hair and threw on a bonnet for extra precaution. once finished your shower, you headed towards the room you two shared to lotion up, then grabbed an oversized shirt and fuzzy socks to put on.

after you finished doing everything you usually did before going to bed, you turned the tv on for background noise and shut the lights off.

as you layed on the bed, you began thinking of the ways ellie used to have you crying from overstimulation before she began training for her big match.

you began getting wet at the thought of her degrading yet praising you at the same time.

getting lost in your thoughts, you began rubbing your clit with one hand and your nipples with the other. as you let out soft moans, you began to grind against your fingers to increase your pleasure. you dipped your slender fingers in your cunt then slightly curled your finger in an attempt to reach the spot ellie always had that had you seeing stars.

you thought about ellie hovering over you in a tight tank top that usually had her nipples poking through them and her lips tucked between her teeth as she stared down at you in awe.

“e-ellie.” you whined as your white-painted toes dug into your sheets. you felt your cunt clench around your fingers, which meant you were cumming soon. just as you were about to cum, you felt your arm get tugged away from your cunt.

“what the f—, ellie?!”

“oh, you’ve been such a bad girl, y/n.” she said taunting you with every word that seeped through her lips.

“ellie you’ve been neglecting me; i couldn’t take it anymore.” you cried out in frustration.

ellie was livid; she always told you to communicate if you felt there was something wrong between you two, and you did the complete opposite.

“why didn’t you talk to me about it, babe? now i gotta teach you lesson.” she spoke as water from her hair dripped onto you. she smelt of peppermint and vanilla, so you knew she’d probably taken a shower in the locker rooms at the gym.

she scooted so that her back leaned against the headboard, then brought you to sit between her legs.

“lift your shirt up, babe.”

you immediately rose your shirt to reveal your lower abdomen.

“good girl.”

you weren’t wearing any underwear, so your soaking cunt was at full disposal for ellie. “oh look how pretty she is.” ellie whispered as you used her slender fingers to trace your cunt.

“e-ellie stop teasing me, p-please.” you whimpered.

once ellie felt she had teased you enough, she plunged her middle and ring fingers into your cunt.

as your head fell back on ellie’s right shoulder, your mouth was left agape because you didn’t expect her to give you two fingers right off the bat.

ellie slowly began moving her fingers inside while you tried to keep still. “f-faster!” you pleaded.

“that’s what you want, babe?” you slowly nodded your head in response to her questions. as you requested, ellie began speeding up the pace as her thumb circled your clit. her tatted arm made its way to your neck, which caused your moans to become even louder.

“s-shit e-ellie.”

"talk to me, babe, and tell me how I'm making you feel."

“you’re making feel so g-good ellie, i love you so much.”

“i love you too princess.”

once you realized how thin the materials of ellie’s shorts were, you decided to grind back on her in hopes of stimulating her clit so you wouldn’t be the only one cumming. often times, ellie put her sexual needs on the back burner to please you, and you hated it because you wanted to make her cum too.

f-fuck y/n, keep doing that.”

“you like it?” you asked breathlessly.

“y-yeah i fucking love it, babe.”

you wanted so badly to suck on her nipples and stare up into her green eyes, but the position you were in didn’t permit it.

as you began mindlessly grinding your ass on her, you reached up your shirt to rub your nipples for more stimulation.

ellie’s fingers began to curl inside you, causing you to attempt to stop her because of how overstimulated you felt. her curling her finger inside you while rubbing your clit was too much, and you felt like you were going to explode.

“l-let go of my fucking hand, y/n.”

“it’s too much ellie, please.”

“let go, babe.” she said in a voice that said she would do worse if you didn’t let go, so you let go. ellie’s bottom lip was between her teeth as she stared at your face. she loved the faces you’d make when she fingerfucked you. since the first time you guys had sex, she realized how sensitive you were to her fingers, so it was no surprise your face was already fucked out.

ellie let out a small moan at the friction of your ass against her cunt, which caused you to grind faster. you loved the sounds of ellie’s moans,they pushed you to get her to reach her climax.

“i-m gonna’ c-cum ellie.”

“uh uh.” ellie said as her fingers stopped moving. “ellie!” you screamed as tears welled in your eyes from frustration.

she grabbed your jaw tightly, so that you were staring up at her.

“promise me you’ll talk to me when something like this happens, or i’m not letting you cum.”

“i promise ellie, i p-promise.” you were frantically rubbing your legs together, but it was nothing like the feeling of ellie’s fingers inside of you.

“good girl. now open up those pretty legs so i can make you cum babe.”

after ellie got back in momentum, she could feel you clenching around her fingers.

“go ahead, babe, let it all out on my fingers.”

you screamed out ellie’s name as you grabbed onto her thigh muscle for support. “s-shit y/n.” you felt ellie shudder under you, which meant she came too.

after a few minutes of heavy breathing, you began to feel sleep overcoming you while you were still in between ellie’s lap.

“y/n promise me you’ll talk to me if you feel i’m neglecting you because of training. you know, i’d never do it purposefully; i love you too much for that.”

“i know, baby, i just didn’t want to be a burden for you while you had a match to train for.”

“are you serious, babe? look at me.”

you turned around to face her as your bonnet was slipping off your head.

“you’ll never be a burden; get that through your thick skull,” she emphasized as she fixed your bonnet into place.

“i’m sorry,” you said wrapping your hands around her neck.

“it’s okay, babe, let’s go to bed.”

ellie reached over to grab the remote to shut off the tv so that you two could go to sleep. as you began dozing off ellie watched as your long eyelashes fluttered against your cheek until your eyes fully shut and your chest began slowly rising and falling, then placed a kiss on your forehead. once she scooted closer and wrapped her arm around your waist, she began to slowly doze off.

#ellie williams x reader #tlou x reader #ellie williams x black!reader #ellie williams #black reader #bisexaul #lesibans #ellie smut #the last of us #black fem reader #boxer #boxer ellie williams

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