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mypoisonedvine · 8 months

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𝓵𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷 & 𝓵𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 | kitten braden x reader

𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂 | it's been hard for you since she moved out, of course, and she didn't give you much warning before she stopped by to acquire some forgotten belongings. you know this time, if you let her leave again, she'll be out of your life forever-- could that really be what she wants?

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 | 4.3k

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 | smut (18+ only - thigh riding, fingering, a touch of dom!reader), angst (break up), internalized transphobia/body image stuff, insecurity, lesbian reader, fluff and sweetness 💕

You swung open the front door, having to stop yourself from biting your lip at the sight of her— just how you remembered, except… no, even more beautiful.

She was wearing a simple silky slip dress with a massive fur, the perfect contrast as always; pearls, of course, but not the ones you’d bought her. Maybe she just wanted to show off that somebody new was buying her pearls now, and god, could you blame them?

You probably looked ridiculous, staring at her like that and not even saying anything. “I just came to get my things,” she informed you in that soft, melodious voice of hers.

Your chest deflated. “Y-yes, sure,” you nodded, stepping back to let her in. She brushed past you quickly, a sort of tightness to her walk— a little prissy, you thought. But you sort of liked that, too.

You inhaled a whiff of sweet perfume just after she walked by so briskly, something new, something fresh and a little tart: lemon and lavender. Had she put herself together like this, just to come here and flaunt how incredible she looked? How she’d somehow become more beautiful since she left— how she was doing so well, probably better than ever without you? It should’ve hurt but you didn’t even mind; she could walk all over you with those stilettos and you’d be grateful for it—

You shook your head as she made her way to the bedroom, deciding not to indulge in that train of thought… at least not until after she’d left.

“I thought you, erm, took everything already,” you mumbled as you followed her, watching her go through your drawers— she kept her chin up as she looked, only lowering her eyes in that way that made the length of her lashes all the more apparent. Was she toying with you on purpose? You really hoped she was.

“I couldn’t find my earrings,” she explained, “the little blue ones? I think I left them here— and a few pairs of knickers.”

“The blue ones,” you remembered, “I remember them— they match your eyes.”

She shot you a little look, a frown, and kept searching amongst your socks. “Don’t be like that,” she mumbled, eventually. “I’m just here for the earrings.”

“I know, sorry,” you breathed, “it’s just that— you look great.”

“Hm,” she acknowledged, quickly turning her head to send those blonde curls in a swing; it reminded you of when she twirled in her dresses, laughing and blushing when you told her she looked beautiful. You still couldn’t really believe that was all behind you now, that she was really gone…

“You look good too,” you added, doing an impression of her soft voice, and she seemed confused as she finally looked at you again. “That’s the polite thing, you know— what you say when you run into an ex.”

“I know,” she agreed, “but, well… I said I’d never lie to you. I’m still keeping that promise.”

You scoffed, not sure which part of that to start with. What promise did I break to you? You remember saying you’d never lie to me? I don’t look good?

“And—” she started again, like she’d tried to bite her tongue but couldn’t help herself. She spun on her heel and crossed her arms at you. “And you look like a mess! Stained joggers, your sock’s got a hole in it—”

You looked down at your feet, sighing when you saw your big toe exposed.

“And look at the apartment!” she continued, raising her arms to gesture around at the disorganised room. “God, you’ve got take-away boxes everywhere, you’ve got dirty clothes and dishes on the bed—”

“I am a mess,” you explained, stepping closer. “Of course I am. I’m not like you, I can’t just… I can’t just forget.”

“Forget?” she repeated, offended. “Is that what you think I’ve done?”

“How else can you come in here, looking like that,” you laughed thinly, motioning over her form as she held her coat together shyly, “asking about some bloody earrings… how can you walk through this apartment and not get your heart broken with every step?”

She glanced down, almost looking embarrassed— an emotion you were all too familiar with on her face. You stepped a little closer, dying to meet her gaze.

“I can barely stand to be here,” you breathed, “and I lived here first— I lived here for years before I even met you! And now— fuck, Kitten—” you stopped for a moment to bite your lip as you tried not to cry— “now I just come home and I keep thinking: that’s our apartment.”

She blinked quickly but said nothing. You waited for a while for her to say any of the thousands of things you wanted to hear right then: for her to admit that she still wanted you, too, that she was so lonely without you, that she came up with an excuse to come by because she wanted to make you jealous— even just that she missed living here. But she just bit her lip and avoided your gaze, and your heartbreak shifted to frustration: you quickly knelt down and yanked open the bottom drawer, forcing her to pull her leg out of the way before the wood scraped her ankle. You flipped open a shoebox and dug through until you found the blue ceramic flowers.

“Here,” you decided as you balled them up in your fist, “the earrings you wanted so damn bad.”

But before you stood up, you tossed them carelessly back into the box and picked it up, standing and facing here.

“You know what? Take the whole thing,” you offered roughly, pushing the box into her chest until she delicately held it. She took the lid off and gently began to look through what was inside. “It’s all there— the knickers, too.”

But it wasn’t just her earrings and lacy underthings in the box— it was everything. Ticket stubs from movies you’d seen together, receipts from diners and lingerie stores, dried flowers and ribbons from picnic baskets… the pictures you’d taken of her, Polaroids mostly— some a bit more salacious than the rest. “Darling…” she breathed, and your heart skipped. “You kept all this?”

“Of course,” you replied, hating the way your voice cracked; you turned your head away when she looked up at your face, defiantly wiping a tear from your cheek. “You can keep it now, I don’t… I don’t need it anymore. I just wanna forget.”

She cooed at you sweetly as she set the box aside, grabbing your face and wiping another tear away tenderly with her thumb. You found the strength to look at her again, though you tried not to get your hopes up that she’d really come back. “Oh, sweet thing,” she sighed, “we can’t forget. Neither of us can.”

“Then how am I supposed to go on?” you wondered, sniffling. “I don’t— I really don’t know if I can live like this—”

“Ah, hush,” she dismissed, “you’ll do fine— you can have any girl you want, you won’t have any trouble.”

“But I only want you,” you insisted, grabbing her wrists and holding them tightly. “I only ever wanted you, Kitten.”

Now she turned away, looking like her eyes might be getting misty. “N-now, that can’t be true,” she denied softly.

You laughed a little, mostly out of amazement rather than amusement. “Who the fuck else did you think I wanted?” you wondered. She got her hands free from yours, chewing her lip and crossing her arms, but you stepped closer again. “Kitten, who else would I possibly want?”

“Well, you know,” she stalled, “I just wondered if maybe… I mean, nobody could blame you if— you know, you’re… you’re a lesbian!”

“You’re just now noticing this?”

“No, I mean,” she choked, “I just mean maybe… maybe you would’ve wanted…”

She didn’t say it, she just held her hand up to her mouth— starting to bite her thumb nail nervously— and finally met your gaze. And you heard it in the air, you saw it in her eyes. Maybe you wanted a real girl.

You knew she was sensitive about it sometimes… for the first few months you were together she didn’t even like you to see her naked, didn’t want to be touched too much down there. Then it was okay as long as it was in the dark— or through panties. It took a lot of patience and promises to get her really naked for you, and god was it worth the wait. And now here you were, fucking bewildered that she could think you didn’t like what you saw.

“Kitten,” you breathed, stepping up and frowning when she looked away again. “Kitten, look at me. How could you think that?”

“I just—”

“Was I not obsessed with you enough? Did I not kiss you enough, touch you enough? You had me on my knees— you had me around your finger—”

“I know,” she groaned, “but doesn’t the novelty wear off after a while? You got to try something, you know, different— strange. But a fetish is just that, you know— not meant to be forever.”

“That’s why you left?”

She nodded.

“Oh, Kitten— you stupid, stupid woman.”

“Hey—!” she protested, cut off by your lips pressing onto hers. The resistance didn’t last for more than a half-second, and then she melted into you in the most beautiful way. The way you’d been imagining ever since she left… or, really, ever since you first laid eyes on her.

She hummed sweetly into the kiss, and let you pull her closer. Normally this is where you would’ve dragged her to the bed, but the bed was an aforementioned hellhole, so you had to try to think quickly while your brain short-circuited from the loveliness of the kiss.

Tugging her back by the fur coat, you guided her towards the couch with you, bringing her into your lap without ever breaking your lips away; then you could tug the coat down her arms, exposing the impossibly-thin straps of her dress. She dropped her freckled shoulders in a coquettish way, as you finally pulled back and admired the way you'd ruined her lipstick.

Running your hands down her arms, and then over her sides, you sighed at the sight of her draped in silk— the way her legs straddled your lap only made the dress ride up a little higher, and it was driving you wild already. “Tell me you weren’t just dressed like this to run errands,” you laughed breathlessly as you pet her thigh, dragging your nails a bit to tickle her through the stockings.

“No,” she admitted, watching your hand brush over her garters and reach up under the skirt— only to come back down before it got too far. She whimpered as you teased her, and you felt your chest fill with pride. “No, I dressed up like this for you…”

“Fuck,” you groaned, “all for me?”

“Yes,” she sighed, partially an answer to your question, partially a response to the way you started to kiss her neck.

“Dolled up for me, huh? Wanted me to see what I was missin’?”

She nodded, biting her lip, and you carefully ran your fingertips along the edge of her panties.

You scoffed as you lifted the dress and found those garters pinned to delicate lace. “Earrings my fuckin’ arse,” you mumbled, tickling her inner thigh as she hummed coyly. “Knew exactly what you wanted when you came here, didn’t you, naughty Kitten?”

Her smile fell into a shuddering gasp as you grabbed her between the legs, and she could only nod a little.

“Well, then come and take it,” you offered, grabbing her hips next and pulling her down onto your lap to rub on your thigh. “Go on, lemme see how bad you missed me.”

She sighed, moving carefully at first, but then really started to rock against you as you groaned proudly. “Oh, kiss me,” she pleaded after a moment, and you pulled her down to your open mouth. Finally she was letting go, relaxing in your arms, kissing you and grinding on you shamelessly. She moaned and hummed against your lips, and you ran your hands all over her body— the stocking-clad legs, the curve of her waist, up over her back and chest until you could hold her head. You cradled her face in your palms as you pulled away, enough to speak to her softly while you ran your fingers through her hair.

"Can't go leavin' me again, Kitten," you warned her with a little tug on those lovely blonde curls. "Need you too much. Hear me?"

"Yes," she promised, panting as she thrusted herself a bit faster against your thigh.

"You're mine," you reminded her, and she moaned happily. "Say it."

"Yours," she whined, gasping as you suddenly groped her chest through the silk. You smirked when you felt her nipple harden against your palm: they were always so sensitive. "Yours, all yours—"

You roughly tugged her dress down to suck on her tit, and she gasped before giggling sweetly as she held your head.

"Oh, you brute," she moaned, "you'll rip my dress—"

"You wanted me to," you challenged, letting your teeth graze the little bud until you felt her shudder in your arms. "You put this dress on— these panties and stockings— and you thought about me ripping it all off of you, didn't you?"

Her hips jerked a little in your lap, and that was answer enough for you.

"Needy little Kitten," you praised. “Now let me suck these pretty tits.”

She moaned, head falling back, as you went back and forth between them, mostly shutting your eyes tight and remembering exactly how to lick and tease her, but occasionally looking up at her face: it was just perfect like this.

She whimpered as she started to grind harder against your thigh, pretty pink lips open loosely for her moans to pass through. Just when you thought she was lost in it entirely, and you started to lean back to just look up and watch her go, she moved her own leg between yours to press against your heated centre. You sighed a little and caught her raising an eyebrow as she looked down at you, looking a little proud of herself. "Want you to feel good too, darling," she explained, nodding encouragingly.

You moved your hips and groaned as the friction made you shiver all over. You'd gotten so turned on from watching and touching her that every movement made you groan softly, and you had to take a tight hold of her ass— which made her whine sweetly— just to have something to keep you steady.

"I want us to come together like this," she whispered. "Don't you think it's romantic this way? Just moving together, too desperate to slow down, feeling each other…?"

"This is how it was the first time," you reminded her through a sigh. You remembered it like it was yesterday, even though it was months and months ago: the way she was so shy and delicate about it at first, the sweet noises she made for you as you touched her— Does little Kitten purr? you'd asked her teasingly. She does when a handsome new friend makes her come, she'd replied, or gives her some money.

You'd done both, actually, desperate to make this lovely Kitten your pet. It felt more now like she owned you, and you didn't mind it one bit. "I remember, too," she giggled, "you said it was the most fun you ever had without taking your clothes off."

“And then I asked you to stay with me,” you remembered with a laugh of your own. “I was yours from the start, Kitten, and you knew it, didn’t you?”

She didn’t answer, just petting your hair and lifting your head so you’d look up at her. “I was yours, too, darling,” she promised, looking deep into your eyes. “Now won’t you come for me?”

“I’m close,” you breathed, “fuck, Kitten— you wanna make me come, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she smiled, breathing heavily by your ear as you bucked your hips up against her faster. “Yes, I’d like to see it.”

“I wanna see you soak those panties,” you countered, panting yourself as the pressure began to build. “Show me, Kitten— show me that pretty face when you cream your little knickers—”

“Oh!” she yelped sweetly, and you could feel it— the pulsing between her legs, through the fabric of your pants. You pressed even harder against her thigh and came, too, both of you moving helplessly and instinctively— and it was pretty romantic, like she said. But it was dirty in just the right way, too.

“Good girl,” you praised, though your own voice wasn’t very commanding anymore as you were reaching your high. “Fuck, you’re so good—”

You choked and dropped your head back, your hips slowing to a stop while she smiled and relaxed above you; “Darling,” she purred, leaning down and kissing your cheek with a conservative peck. “That was lovely.”

You nodded in agreement, smiling up at her and tucking her hair behind her ear— it still looked pretty perfect despite all that it had been through.

“Now maybe let’s clean up and get some lunch,” she offered, but she whimpered when you grabbed her waist aggressively.

"No fucking way I'm done with you already," you growled, watching her eyes get a little wide.

You ran your hand up her body again, feeling the way her chest swelled and sank as she tried to catch her breath.

“Get them wet for me, love,” you ordered softly as you pressed two fingers to her lips, and she dipped down to wrap her mouth around them. You hummed in praise as she sucked them gently, batting her eyes at you— because of course she would.

She looked at you expectantly as you dragged the fingers slowly from her mouth, watching her plump lip go slack and bounce back when you pulled the digits away. “Gonna put those inside me?” she asked, trying to sound innocent.

“If you ask nicely," you teased.

“Oh,” she sighed, “please— I missed them, you know. Missed how you feel inside me— any part of you, really— but those fingers, darling, you know what you can do to me with those…”

“Did you try with your own fingers?” you wondered with a smirk.

“With these nails? Heavens, no,” she denied. You reached into her panties and teased her hole with the wet fingers, circling her rim as she mewled, hoping to break her patience. “C’mon then, did I not ask nicely enough?” she wondered after a minute or so of that.

“Lay down on your back,” you whispered your command to her, “and open your legs for me. Then I can give you what you want, princess.”

She got up off your lap and sank down to the floor in front of you— you figured she would’ve stayed on the sofa, but this felt a little more submissive— laying back slowly and seductively. How could she do that, look so much like an angel and vixen all at once, while just laying on the ground?

Looking up at you with sultry half-lidded eyes, she slowly spread her legs and let you get an eyeful of the stockings and garters, the lace panties stained with come, the sweetest legs and the heaven she'd been hiding between them.

You fell to your knees in front of her, snapping the garters off and yanking her stockings down to touch her bare, smooth skin. “God, Kitten,” you breathed in awe, “you know exactly what you fucking do to me.”

“Missed this sweet little cunt, didn’t you?” she noticed with a proud smile.

“Course I did,” you panted, kissing up her thighs. “You know I fucking did.”

You reached down and pulled her panties aside, pressing your fingers to her hole again, but this time you actually slipped one in. She jolted a little when you pushed past the resistance, and you smiled.

“Always so fucking tight,” you praised softly, still kissing her bent knee gently but meeting her gaze now. She had this look in her eyes when she had something inside her, a wonderful look you never wanted to go too long without seeing.

Tight, yes, but it was a needy hole, too— and you both knew she already wanted more than just one. She moaned through a smile as you added the second, carefully stretching her open as her hands clenched fistfuls of the shag beneath her.

A shag on the shag. You would've snorted to yourself as you realised the humour in the situation if you weren't too wrapped up in how gorgeous she looked spread out on your floor like this.

You still only had the two fingers about halfway in, focusing on stretching her carefully and just barely teasing that little spot that you knew all too well— you wanted her begging, if you had anything to do with it. You had to get some sense of control back after she'd walked in here and made a complete fool out of you.

She hadn't said anything yet, though, just moaned and rocked her hips against you. Your free hand kept petting her thighs encouragingly, and you kept looking back and forth between her hole swallowing up your fingers and that gorgeous face lost in pleasure.

You pushed your fingers deeper, all the way to the knuckle, and she arched her back up from the carpet. “O-oh, more, please,” she begged.

“More fingers?” you smirked. “Two’s not enough for you?”

“No, I just mean—” she pouted, “I just want more of you…”

You leaned down and laid over her, bringing your face close to hers, as she looked at you with the slightest hint of nervousness in her eyes. “Like this?” you offered under your breath, and she nodded before hiding her face in the crook of your neck. She was rarely shy about sexual things, even when she pretended to be, but sentiment sometimes made her act like this— she didn’t like to ask you for affection, as if she still feared you’d reject her. Generally, your solution to this was to shower her in it, so she’d never have to ask… but you had to admit, you loved the way she begged for you.

She moaned into your shoulder as you held her closer with your free hand, still curling your fingers inside her and finally properly rubbing the most sensitive place inside her.

She whimpered and bucked her hips a bit when you pressed against it, and you smiled; “There, baby? Is that where you need it?”

“Yes, yes,” she mewled, clutching tighter onto you.

You brushed through her curls with your fingers, trying to coax her out. “Let me see that pretty face,” you cooed, laughing a little when she shook her head against you. “No? I don’t get to see my angel?”

She sniffled and pulled back enough to let you see her: big, wet eyes with her mascara beginning to smudge, her lip caught between her teeth.

“You’re so beautiful,” you promised softly. “But I love you for who you are, Kitten. You’re not a fetish, or a compromise. You’re just the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She whimpered and held your face, kissing you sweetly— but the kiss got faster and more desperate at the same time that your movements inside her did, and soon she was making those sweet noises that you knew meant she would come again.

“Let me see one more time, love,” you requested, “lemme see that pretty face you make when I make you come.”

“O-oh, fuck, I’m close,” she promised. “I’m close, darling— I’ll come, I’ll come for you—”

“Yeah,” you agreed encouragingly, “yeah, you’ll give my fingers a nice squeeze, won’t you?”

“Oh, yes,” she whined, arching her back deeper. “L-lick them again, please…”

“Your tits, honey?”

“Yes, please, please—” she chanted, moaning louder when you dipped your head down and wrapped your lips around one of those cute little nipples. You suckled at it while she came, thrusting your fingers into her while she writhed and whimpered out your name; you didn’t stop moving your fingers until she seemed like she was trying to move her hips away, and you didn’t stop kissing her breast until she pulled you away from it by your hair, dragging you up to kiss her— it was sweet and lazy and slow, yet with a sense of desperation felt not in the speed of it all but in the way she tried to hold you tighter with weak and shaking hands.

You must have kissed for ages before you broke apart, and you rolled onto your back at her side; the two of you laid on the floor, sweaty and sticky, panting as you looked up at the ceiling.

After a moment, she turned her head and looked over at you, and you looked back at her as she offered you the softest smile— a real heart-melter, that one. Her smile made your knees weak from the very start. Reaching forward, she wiped some of her lipstick off of your lip, and you kissed the tip of her thumb.

"You really do look awful," she said suddenly, and you chuckled nervously.

"Your pillowtalk skills have seriously diminished since the last time we were together," you noticed.

"No, I just mean— I could tell you'd been crying," she whispered.

"Yeah," you sighed in return, moving a curl out of her face carefully. "Well, like I said, I was pretty miserable once you left."

"Then why'd you let me leave?"

"I figured you'd met someone else," you breathed. "You wanted to get out so fast— I thought maybe you found a man."

"A man?" she repeated, lifting her head slightly in shock.

"You don't have too much trouble with men," you reminded her, and she laughed.

"I only have trouble with men," she assured, and you felt her hand reach for yours, clammy fingers tangling together. "Besides— who else would I possibly want but you, darling?"

#patricia braden x reader #kitten braden x reader #kitten braden smut #cillian murphy x reader #breakfast on pluto

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princesssmars · 12 days

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a few ellie headcanons bc i like her c: sfw.

she is a backpack lesbian. always has a tiny backpack. they are always black or a dark green. will sometimes get a patterned one. maybe has bananas on it. wants to put stickers on basically all of them but won’t because she gets paranoid they’ll get ruined.

i can’t find the post and ong i don’t remember what type of snack girlie i said ellie was but yes. this bitch loves snacks. always snacking. had a four month long addiction to jello it was a little scary.

she can cook for herself! she can make a damn good burger. hates tomato’s because she’s a baby 👎🏽

feel like she likes the weirdest cereals ever…like bae why are you eating kit kat cereal

runs super cold and always has a blanket. lovesss those super thick fluffy blankets that make you wanna fall asleep immediately. begged joel for one of those full body blanket snuggie things and he kept forgetting so she bought a matching dinosaur set with jessie and she loves it.

despite running cold her bedroom fan has not turned off in thirty years.

loves trivia. likes to play are you smarter than a fifth grader because you are NOT gonna catch her fuckin lackin.

likes mixmatched socks. her dryer is always eating half of her pairs so she grows to like it.

calls things pretentious and overrated as a joke bc she is annoying. watching a popular movie? she hates it the author is trying too hard. if she has a letterboxd she is either giving the most in depth review you’ve ever seen or a five star rating with a “cool”.

super nervous at the start of relationship yo show affection but when she’s locked in she is always on you…cuddles all the time. if you’re getting up to do something she is gripping around your waist. it’s cute until you need to go to the bathroom and she is insistent on going with you. once when she was high she told you she’d get a second toilet so you could go together 🫤

playstation girl yawn. she was hyped for elden ring then got her ass beat and didn’t play for a month before randomly deciding to finish it in two weeks.

whoever said she loves spongebob first was right…binges regular show when high. loves breaking bad. will act like she doesn’t like romance shows but if you make her watch the first episode she hasssss to finish it she can’t help ittt… sorry not sorry i’m making her watch bridgerton.

secretly watches those family guy adhd tiktoks

has a habit of watching movies through tiktok

and those space tiktok’s… comparing the gravity of different planets, what’s it’s like to fall through jupiters atmosphere.

likes orcas… watches marine life documentaries and gets emotional.

would know ur birth chart. ever forget ur big three signs? she knows. kind of scary. weird talent. doesn’t believe in astronomy buts knows every basic fact about every sign?? 😭

has two instagrams. her main is for her art and to post pictures with her friends and you. second she posts anything. and i do mean anything. will go from an introspective into idk why hoodwinked is underrated to

loves green it’s literally her color. needs some green in her dorm/apartment. thinks about this ahead of time so when she’s in middle school she starts buying tiny plants to take care of. at the start they’d die in like a week but now she has a dozen and they’re all healthy <3

bunch of posters on her bedroom walls. hates bare walls.

likes to try new hobbies every so often! is lazy about working out but when she does she gets on the treadmill and doesn’t break a sweat no matter how fast. kind of scary.

likes to go on the most random dates. you’ll be sitting on the couch and she’ll show you some random restaurant she saw on like instagram and be like let’s go. right now.

likes when you touch her hair. rest her on top of you while watching a movie and run your fingers through her hair? she’s out like a light. if you want to try different styles on it at home she will let you. doesn’t care if she has stupid looking like stubs everywhere she’s like c:

jesse told her she had a fuck ass bob once and she almost hit him :c

such a bike girl omg. i know she used to put water bottles in the back to make it sound like a motorcycle.

who first came up with that she loves spongebob because you’re so right. tried to act like she’s grown out of it but when she’s high and you’re trying to go to bed she’ll whisper “twenty five” to herself and laugh for five minutes straight.

spider-man girl because she’s cool.

pretends to hate all the dumb nicknames you give her when she does stuff. she makes a pb&j? shes now 'ellie jellie' for the rest of the week. has a stomach ache? now she gets to hear 'ellie bellie' for a month.

links for palestine, sudan, drc

#lowkey nothing but i wanted to talk about her #love this crazy bitch #tlou #tlou 2 #tlou 2 x reader #tlou x reader #ellie #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff

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superiorgoobus · 1 year

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Batfam as shit my friends say/do

Tim: if I was running on ice, I'd wear grippy socks

Jason: yeah it would make sense that you have grippy socks

Tim: .... fuck you

Jason: *trying to send a text* goddamn I can't type shit, my fingers are so cold

Steph: sounds like a you problem bud

Jason: it's gonna be a you problem when I throw your ass in a snowbank

Dick: haha that looks like a dildo

Duke: must you say that about every cylindrical rubber object you see?

Dick: yes.

Steph: hey, did I mention I hate that guy?

Cass: only fifteen times today.

Tim, sleep deprived: it would appear as though I have holes in my pants.

Damian: tt. those are ripped jeans. You bought them that way.

Dick: that guys phone is really long... and thin... just like a penis...

Duke: I am going to end you.

Harper: *at a Gotham knights game* IM BLIND! IM DEAF! I WANNA BE A REF!

Jason: I still can't fucking type...

Steph: you know what that is?

Jason: if you say-

Steph: that's a you problem bud

Jason: every time you say that it makes me more and more pissed off.

Steph: if it makes you feel better, I once said that to a guy who said if I broke up with him he's kill himself. I also told him I didn't give a shit if he died.

Jason: that is hilarious.

Bruce: dear god I don't want to go outside.

Clark: we're at a hockey game. You had to go outside to get here.

Bruce: well I don't want to do it again.

Steph: I can't believe it's -25 out, and some people showed up to class wearing just sweatshirt and jeans. This is Gotham University, no one thinks you're cool, just a dumbass.

Tim: *starts an argument with Kon over yikyak despite the fact they're sitting on the same couch*

Steph: so then my girlfriend at the time said-

Tim: you know, I probably wouldn't have hooked up with you if I knew you were a lesbian.

Steph: ... I'm not a lesbian. I'm bisexual.

Tim: oh.

Damian: where is my knife... I can't find my knife...

Dick: you know scissors would be way more affective for what you're trying to do, right?

Damian: yes but for aesthetic purposes I want to use a knife.

Tim: *mixing an alcoholic drink with blue in it*

Bernard: damn, Tim trynna kill with windex over here

Dick: I can't believe no one told me there was a new season of Letterkenny out!!!

Jason: hey guess what?

Dick: what

Jason: there's a new season of letterkenny out

Dick: fuck you

Steph: hey, zip tie my hands so I can try to get out.

Cass: no, why would I-

Harper: oh fuck yeah

Steph: *cuts her hand trying to escape the zip ties* oh, dude, look! Now I look cool!

Cass: *is wearing a sport bra while exercising*

Steph: Cass!!! Stop being naked every time I see you!!

Cass: ???

Tim: *sends Bernard a Snapchat using the peach emoji filter*

Bernard: oh my god... the booty emoji...

Kate: *has a sign on her office wall that says "all things are possible through sarcasm and profanity." *

Tim: *snaps Steph a picture of a drink with an ingredient he's allergic to in it* the urge to drink this to see if it kills me it outrageous

Jason: would you like a cake pop?

Damian: a cake... a what?

Jason: a cake pop?

Damian: what on earth is a cake pop?

Jason: DICK NEVER BOUGHT YOU A CAKEPOP? We are resolving this problem today. Get in the Batmobile, we're going to Starbucks and buying you a dozen cake pops.

Damian: you still haven't told me what a cake pop is.

Jason: imagine a lollipop, but cake. And spherical.

Damian: spherical cake?

Jason: yes, spherical cake.

Damian: ... how...

Jason: get your ass in the car and I'll show you how.

#dc universe #jason todd #bruce wayne #damian wayne #tim drake #cass cain #stephanie brown #harper row #dick grayson #clark kent #bernard dowd #kon el kent #conner kent #kate kane #incorrect quotes #batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #duke thomas

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cowboyjen68 · 4 months

Text

Anon ask

Anon ASK

"Hi Jen! Happy Holidays!

I have always wanted to ask an older butch this question. I’m a femme in my late 20s and my partner is an amazing butch. My partner always assures me they don’t mind my many (so many) stretch marks and my cellulite, but I worry sometimes that it makes me look less femme to everyone but them.

As an older butch, do you have any words of wisdom/advice from your experience? I think a lot of curvy / bigger femmes my age struggle with this because the femmes on TV are often skinny."

RESPONSE:

This is a pretty easy answer from my perspective. While it would be disingenuous for me to say I think cellulite and stretch marks are sexy and all women I can say they are non unattractive. As a lesbian I find women pretty lovely in many forms even if I don't find them physically attractive. The many things women have that is unique to us makes them more attractive and that includes thins that the general culture does it's hardest to convince us is ugly or unsightly or unacceptable.

The softness of a woman and the curves some of us have from aging, having a baby, normal body changes, too much Christmas food or just genetics are wonderful. Femmes are no exception to this. I know that when I am in love with a woman she sexy to me when she is are relaxed: Cozy sweats, stained shirt, fuzzy socks and hair all in disarry.

Taking a woman I am in love with out for a night and knowing she put on makeup, picked just the right outfit and spent time making her hair look just right FOR ME is a great feeling as a butch. She is no less sexy on a Sunday morning with all the work undone and her face puffy from a night's sleep. Your butch is absolutely telling you the truth. She sees you for all that you are to her, beautiful.

Butches on TV and strong and stoic, hard on the outside and often soft on the inside. They frown at men and wink at women. Just like those portrayals are only that of a small fragment of butches, all the thin and young and toned femmes on TV are a tiny representation of all the ways that femmes exist in the world. I am sure I am not the only butch who is grateful for all the varied and lovely femmes of all ages, sizes and body types out there

#lesbian #butch #femme

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kisbunzies · 6 months

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More silly tf2 headcanons because i know more about them than valve does.

Sniper is practically nocturnal. You wont see him all day but you will find him sitting on the couch in base with snacks and a movie going like it 3am , no shoes or shirt despite it being February and his camper being parked like a mile.away acting like its totally normal. Will literally nap anywhere during the after noon dont be surprised if one day you find him hanging upside down like a vampire.

Speaking of which this mans goes everywhere shirtless and shoeless . gas station ? Shirtless and shoe less . walmart ? Shirtless and shoeless .middle of winter ? Maybe he's got socks on. They have to yell at him to get dressed or atleast put on sunscreen so he doesn't get crustier than he already is.

Pyro's really good at open flame cooking , bonfire grill gas stove flambae torch they can make anything as long as it requires fire. Also pyros mexican and atleast half of their "strange noises" are just them mumbling to themselves in spanish.

Heavy likes cozy stuff , he's struggled enough if he wants hot cocoa and a knitted blanket he can have hot cocoa and a knitted blanket. Owns the fuzziest pair of bear slippers known to man. Also i feel like he's a salmon guy idk maybe he rlly is just a bear but guy.

Saxton hale likes men.

Scout if so painfully straight. And i dont mean straight as in sexuality i mean straight as in pure fucking aura. Ms pauling comes out as a lesbian and he says "oh shit i like girls too we should date" sees heavy and medic kiss and his brain doesn't acknowledge it. This is true even is scout likes dudes he's the 1970's equivalent of those guys nowadays who wear nothing but nike and use the word gyat unironically and im tired of pretending like he isn't.

Ms pauling wants to be a merc so bad she thinks that its so cool but her mom told her murders for boys so she's just the administrators assistant/hj

Demoman has the most curly , bouncy , volumous gorgeous hair under than beanie. He keeps it in cornrows most of the time but when he does wear his hair out its a sight to behold.

Engineer makes the corniest , most dad like jokes known to man , its literally horrible they all groan so loud whenever he does but he thinks its hilarious.

Sniper , scout , pyro and soldier are all sour gummy worm addicts to the point that their stash takes up and entire shelf in the base pantry. Go through a costco bag a week.

The local costco dreads their presence , engineer and sniper and in the outdoors section, medics necromancing the chickens , pyros was the one roasting those chickens before they got necromanced, they managed to lose heavy somehow , scout managed to convince spy to get into a toilet paper fort they made and now their introuble with management, soldiers ordering a forth of july cake despite it being october and demomans buying premade meal kits for dinner for him.and his mom over the week. Pyro saved him a necromanced rotisserie chicken. And yes sniper still isn't wearing a shirt or shoes they've given up.

Spy had eyebags and grey hair , misses when was young and spry , is a little jealous of medic managing to have a full head of dark hair.

Medics ethnically jewish. He gets his black market organs kosher .

And finally out of all the mercs soldier goes to.medic the most for actual injuries , scout goes the most for.minors , engineers got the most perscriptions including hearing aids and stuff for pyro he picks up , sniper never goes to the doctor and medic has to drag him in . spies the worse when it comes to appointments (doesn't like any part of him being seen and despit having spy training still doesn't like.needles) and medic favorite patient is heavy for obvious reasons

#tf2 #tf2 engineer #scout tf2 #spy tf2 #demoman tf2 #tf2 scout #engineer tf2 #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #pyro tf2 #sniper tf2 #tf2 headcanons #headcanon #lake's rambles

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gay-little-axolotl · 8 months

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my designs for the sillies!!

elaboration on the designs + some hcs under the cut (it’s a long one folks!)

Ocean: she/her, lesbian, aroace-spec; her hair is naturally a Fucking Curly Mess, so she straightens it out, sprays it, and uses a headband and hair-clips; Ocean always has a pencil behind her ear in case she needs to write something down, but she always forgets she put it there; she has a coat on her waist because a long-sleeved shirt and a vest is not enough. she must not feel an ounce of cold.

Noel: he/she/they, bigender, gay; his hair is also a Fucking Curly Mess so he just puts some gel on and prays to satan it works; Noel tries to tone it down like his mother told him so he doesn’t wear pride merch to school or anything, but he does wear black earrings and black nail polish

Mischa: he/him, bisexual; I basically tried to make him look like the type of person my mom would point at in the street and go “that’s what satan does to a person!!”; Mischa constantly looks like he’s been hit by a bus, he says it’s because he gets into fights, but he’s just a fucking wreck; backwards hat, bi pin and star of David pin because I saw @lemon69lol’s post and have decided that Jewish Mischa is canon now; Ukrainian flag phone case!!; Ricky bought him these BRIGHT neon green crocs for his 18th birthday and he wears it every day (Noel wants to shred those fucking crocs);

Ricky/Savannah: any pronouns + neos, genderfluid, bisexual, demiromantic?; I gave them the neon space cat headphones and crutches as always, but I added spikes to the crutches so my guy can kick some ableist ass, and an AAC device because of an art post THAT I CAN’T FIND! if someone has that one drawing of Ricky with an AAC device strapped to his crutch tell me because I want to give credit to the artist but I CAN’T; genderfluid + any pronouns pin; shoes that aren’t matching and a dress over pants because fuck the dress-code

Jane Doe: she/they/it/doll, unlabeled; I have no idea where this design came from but, Jane with X eyes, I guess; I think I was originally basing her off of Spinel but fuck, what do I know?; doll is based on my Emilia Jane Doe

Constance: she/they, demi-girl, sapphic; I tried to make her hair resemble Trinity Constance because I ADORE their Constance!; hoop earrings and braces because I said so; rainbow socks because she’s fuckin’ queer; colorful band-aids for reasons I will not be telling you, sorry

uniform insp

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sixxrock666 · 2 months

Note

I saw your post about Pamela and I was wondering if you could write some smut for Pamela with a female reader

Warm cinnamon nights

summary: you and Pam take a break in a cozy cabin

Pamela Anderson x f!Reader

words: 1516

warnings: wlw, lesbian smut; fingering, oral nicknames

this one is for all the Pamela lovers :)

Yours and Pamelas relationship was still pretty fresh and as much as you two enjoyed each other's company you wanted to keep things on the low, away from all the media, magazine headliners and radios.

Therefore you two decided to spend a week in a snowy cozy cabin up the mountain, away from the press, away from the world.

You have just entered through the door of your tiny wooden cabin. Stepping inside, the snow from your boots flaked to the ground as you two were greeted by the warmth of the small space.

You watched Pam in her pretty fluffy sweater trying to remove her chunky boots. As she was untying her bootlaces you couldn't help but notice how her cheeks and nose were tinted a slightly pinkish color from the cold breeze, that was nipping at her milky skin just a few minutes ago.

When Pamela finished removing her winter layers she took a hold of her messy hair and placed it a somewhat messy bun, letting a few strands of her blond hair to fall down and frame her face.

She caught you staring and a small smile formed on her lips. She placed her cold hands on both sides of your cheeks and pressed a sweet wet kiss to your lips.

Her lips, cold from the winter wonderland outside felt perfectly against yours. Pamela felt like a warm hug despite her cold hands and lips.

"do you want some hot cocoa dear"

"I would love that"

you answered all smitten because you couldn't believe this woman was yours. You couldn't help the smile that creeped onto your face at the thought. Pamela fucking Anderson was yours.

You watched as Pam moved to the tiny stove in your cabin and put on the kettle of milk. The way she moved around in those leggings of hers with that big sweater made your heart ache. Pamela was so so sweet and good. You just wanted to embrace her, snuggle up to her and never let go.

She mixed in the cocoa powder while leaning against the kitchen counter. Her gaze was focused on the cup in front of her so you could take your time admiring your girl.

Pam finally placed the cup of the warm beverage in your hands and settled beside you on the couch. She leaned into your frame as she held her own cup with both of her hands and brought it close to her face, so she could warm herself up.

You two sipped the cocoa for a while just enjoying each other's presence in the tiny room filled with the smell of delicious cinnamon and fireplace wood. You could see the snow pick up outside the window but you couldn't care less as you were cuddled up to Pamela with fuzzy socks and blankets.

When you two finished the drink you placed the empty cups on the table, now fully warmed up. You placed your elbow on the top of the couch and leaned your head in the palm of your hand, while looking up at Pammy.

Pamela immediately noticed your gaze and turned towards you, a smile decorating her beautiful face. The dreamy eyes you looked at her with, were full of emotion and adoration and Pamela was so greatfull

she got the chance to call you hers.

So she pulled you closer and placed a slow kiss to your lips, hoping she could convey her emotions clearly. You could feel the warmth radiating off of her body as you pulled her closer.

The innocent kiss full of love quickly turned into a kiss of passion and lust. Pam lightly tugged at your bottom lip as she pulled you on her lap. Her hand slowly caressed your thigh while yours were lost in her hair, messing up her bun even more.

The kiss deppened as you two couldn't keep your hands to each other. Pamela was leaving kisses all over. All over your lips, cheeks, face, and eventually moved down towards your neck. Each kiss was more aggressive until the kisses turned into light nipping and bitting.

She sucked the skin on your neck and kissed it after, causing a soothing sensation, while her hands were tracing your breasts.

You were trying your best to hold back the moans that were on the brink of escaping but some soft , rather loud breaths were still released.

You held onto Pamela, with your needyness increseasing as seconds went by. You could feel your skin prickle at her touch, causing you to released a needy moan.

She pulled away for a second to look at the state you were in and smirked lightly.

“Wait don't pull away...not yet" you hurriedly said, needing her right now but she just chuckled.

"Don't worry sweetheart you'll get what you want"

Pamela placed a light short kiss to your forehead before sneaking her hands underneath your sweater and pulling it over your head.

Pamela backed up a little so she could admire her gorgeous girlfriend. Her hands started tracing up from your stomach, slowly with her fingers barely touching your skin, all the way up to your breasts.

Pam caught your eyes for a second and smiled

"You are beautiful sweetheart"

At that comment you couldn't help but look away from embarrassment. Sure you were used to it at this point but something about this moment just felt so intimate.

"Don't hide baby" Pamela whispered as she traced her fingers across your nipples. You whimpered at her touch but looked at her figure regardless.

Pamela was breathtaking, her hair was a mess her blond strands flowing everywhere, no longer secured with a hair tie. The big sweater slipped off her shoulders exposing a bit of her skin.

If that wasn't an invitation for you to remove the piece of clothing you don't know what is. So you pulled the sweater off to reveal the curve of her breast. But Before you could reach out pamela gently pushed you down towards the couch and hovered over you.

She nestled herself between your legs before kissing her way down toward the hem of your sweat pants. She gently tugged the pants down along with your panties dropping them somewhere on the floor before focusing back on the meal in front of her.

She placed your legs over her shoulders and then lightly kissed the top of your clit before giving it a cat like lick. You shuddered at the feeling as your hands found their way to her hair once again. You were so impatient you couldn't help yourself but tug her face closer to you cunt.

Pamela immediately understood and dived in, gaining a loud moan out of you. Your legs closed around her head, locking her in place but your sweet Pammy continued the heavenly work down there.

She licked and sucked on your clit while her fingers started teasing your dripping entrance. You on the other hand were a shaking moaning mess with your fingers tangled in her blond locks.

"Pammy baby please, you know what i want…don't make me spell it out for you"

you whined hoping she will understand and stick those teasing fingers in already.

You could feel her smile again your cunt as she finally slid in two of her fingers. Your body pushed forward, immersed in pure pleasure. Her fingers started pumping in and out, hitting the perfect spot every time.

You hands were still buried in her hair tugging and pulling as you were chasing your high.

Pamelas other hand found her way to your belly where she pushed down to keep you in place. Her tongue sped up the constant sucking and licking while her fingers arched just the right way.

Your body leaned into the pleasure and orgasm you knew was coming. It seemed like Pamela could feel it as well.

“Cum for me sweetheart”

Her voice came out as a bare mumble since she was so preoccupied with you. With the last few licks the overwhelming feeling finally snapped as you came all over Pammy face.

She let you use her face as you went through your high.

Pam finally peeled herself away, her mouth glistening with the remains of your cum. Pamela looked up at you and smiled sweetly.

The scene before you was so arousing, with Pamelas breasts pressed against the couch and her gorgeous gorgeous face covered in your juices. It got you aching for her all over again.

You pulled her upwards and kissed her hard. The taste of your cum was still lingering in her mouth as you pressed your lips together.

You pulled away after the short kiss with your forehead still against hers.

“I love you Pam” you whispered, still holding her close.

“I love you y/n”

You couldn’t help the bubbly feeling you felt whenever she said those words and as much as you would like to reminisce in the feeling you had other feelings at the moment that seemed more important.

“now it’s my turn” you smirked as you kissed her hard.

☆彡⁂𐬺✩★𐬿

#pamela anderson x reader #pamela anderson #pamela anderson fanfiction #pam #pammy #x reader #wlw #wlw ns/fw #x fem!reader #rockstars #90s #fanfiction #imagine

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lamestteenagegirlever · 2 years

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some stranger things headcanons(mostly ending up being ramblings bc im autistic)! feel sososo free to share yours with me or ask if i have any for a specific character! and shoutout to my bestie griffin for helping me come up with some of these

•max leaves like the most random shit in mikes locker. like he’ll open it and find like an origami armadillo or a piece of macaroni covered in glitter or like a singular fuzzy christmas sock. he has no idea its her(everyone else knows). he shows up to lunch every day with the item and gets more and more terrified every day.

•eddie has nicknames for all of the kids bc he loves them and hes alive and happy. he calls max ginger snap or little orphan annie or something along those lines and she acts pissed off but she loves it. he calls lucas number 8 bc even if he doesnt like basketball, he supports his kids in anything they do. dustin is just henderson ofc or the occasional like curly sue or smthn of that nature. he obvi calls erica lady applejack or miss america. he calls mike training wheel(nancy is steering wheel and holly is tricycle) or michael in the most ominous way possible. he calls will lil buddy or “sir william the wise, my lord” while doing the most dramatic curtsy ever, no in between. he calls el stupid shit like elton john or eleanor roosevelt and if hes greeting her he just asks her what number hes thinking of. i just love him and want him to be happy.

•el and mike are lesbian and gay solidarity argue with the wall. they were the first to find out about the other’s crush on max/will and they both encourage each other to go for it. el especially bc she hears how much will talks about mike. mike tries to get info from max but shes just like oh my god leave me alone(lovingly, ofc) with the reddest face ever and mike is like 🤔.

•max sees erica like a little sister and vice versa.

•will, robin, max, and eddie tell eachother all about their relationships/crushes and it ends in a nightmare every time. will told them about something really stupid mike said and eddie brought it up, laughing, at hellfire and mike was like “oh my god i fucked up so badly that will told eddie” and eddie tries to come up with another explanation like will wasnt the only other person there. “nonono, it wasnt will that told me! it was… nancy! she was… in the… bushes! for uhm……. newspaper stories???” and mike just thinks about it for the rest of the day

•idc abt canon they all go to lucas’s games and theyre huge dorks about it. they make signs and everything and then have a party at steves house regardless of whether they won or he even got to play. steve also helps lucas practice sometimes and is always like “go easy on me im old.”

•steve and robin worked a good few jobs in the months between the mall getting destroyed and the family video. they were there for maybe a week before one of them got fired(steve) and the other quit in protest bc theyre besties and share one braincell.

•lucas is a history kid, dustin and el are math kids, mike and max are english kids, and will is a science and art kid.

•steve hates his house because its always so lonely and he tells robin this like once in passing and she just shows up randomly with a duffel bag with her pjs and stuff. she probably has a key at this point so like he’ll get back from the shower or smthn and she’ll just be sitting on his bed watching tv like she lives there(she pretty much does), not that he minds obvi. he loves hanging out with her

•will and el are practically inseparable. they tell each other absolutely everything and have “sleepovers” once a week. when will realized that el doesnt know her birthday, he decided that they were gonna share his because everyone already jokingly calls them the wonder twins anyway. i literally just adore them and want more content with them.

•dustin and max will argue over the absolute dumbest stuff EVER. absolutely anything and everything. like max threatened to kill him over whether els shoes were mustard yellow or yellow-orange.

•mike acts like he hates steves guts when he finds out he likes eddie. like he’ll regularly be like “wow, you date my sister and now you’re going after my mentor.” and steve is just like “yeah, and ill go after your mom next. pipe down.”

•nancy and argyle vibe like no other and not a single person understands how. jonathan jokes that he cant believe his best friend would leave him for his ex and they all think its really funny.

•robin and steve cant spell restaurant or communicate or fairly simple words like that. they pass a singular braincell back and forth wand it probably belongs to nancy.

•steve taught all of the kids other than max how to drive. eddie taught max while steve had to like hold robins hand because of how nervous he was.

•dustin has zero rhythm(affectionate).

•el sat hopper down and asked him about his intentions with joyce like an overprotective dad when they got back from russia and always messes with him about the three inches rule.

•will gets along really well with nancy and holly. sometimes he’ll show up at the wheeler house and mikes pleasantly surprised to see him, thinking will there to see his bf but hes actually there for a tea party that holly invited him to or for his scheduled gossip session with nancy and probably steve, max, and el.

•el is an avid abba stan. she and will regularly end up having dance parties in her room when she plays it. argyle always joins in if hes over and jonathan does too, but not before he gets a couple of pictures bc he loves them a lot.

•eddie and robin smoke together on the occasion(they cried one time bc robin turned off the lights on accident and they were convinced they both went blind).

if you read this far i literally love you oh my god

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jess-the-reckless · 2 months

Text

I didn't do much work this weekend, because I couldn't be arsed. Instead I wrote some fic, and continued to be amazed how well Crowley and Aziraphale adapt to the role of grumpy, middle-aged lesbians. In this bit they return to the suite at the Savoy where they had a dirty weekend in The Lady Gardener, except now they are hopelessly, aggressively married.

____________________________

Aziraphale went through to the living area in search of the room service menu. It was one of those hot summer days where the river itself seemed to be sweating, casting a fine mist through the heat shimmer bouncing off the Embankment. The last time she’d been here had been spring. The daffodils had been out in St. James’s Park, and she and Crowley had rolled around in the guise of illicit lovers like a pair of happy pigs in poo. Well, sort of happy. There were things she could do now that she couldn’t do then, like knitting Crowley rubbish socks, or saying ‘I love you’, or casually asking at reception if her wife had arrived at the hotel yet.

Crowley, now minus the sleep mask, followed her through the suite. She was still wearing the socks, despite the heat. Below the preciptiously high hem of her tiny nightie her legs were long and brown, tanned from hanging around gardens in very small shorts. “How was your gardening class?” Aziraphale asked.

“Maxless,” said Crowley, tossing herself onto the sofa. “Alison has pulled her out.”

“Oh no. Why?”

Crowley shrugged, pulling her hem up almost to crotch height. By some miracle she was actually wearing underpants, but then again she had only just got here. “Apparently I’m recruiting her to the transgender agenda,” she said.

“And how are you doing that?”

“Not sure. I was just trying to encourage her interest in entomology. Are insects transgender?”

“Oh, probably,” said Aziraphale, perching at the table next to the window, and kicking off her shoes. “I know there are fish that change sex. And reptiles, I think.”

“Snakes, definitely. We get up to all sorts. Do you know there are some snakes that can reproduce asexually?”

Aziraphale looked up from the wine list in alarm. “Crowley, if this is your way of telling me you’re pregnant I’m going to be very upset.” She’d mentally pencilled in a lot of drinking for this weekend, and it was going to be no fun at all if Crowley couldn’t partake.

“Pregnant? At my age? No. I was just saying. Lot of things change gender. Birds do it, bees do it…”

“…yes, even educated fleas, I daresay,” said Aziraphale, mentally meandering into Cole Porter. It seemed an endless source of horror to the Alisons of this world that their child should ever want to change sex at some point, as though that was somehow the worse thing a child could ever want to do with their life, a thing so horrible they had to be ‘brainwashed’ into it. Aziraphale was not clear about how this brainwashing was supposed to take place. According to Louise it could take root if they were exposed to too many rainbow flags, or the wrong kind of rainbow flags. The rainbows were only meant to have a certain number of stripes, apparently. If they had too many stripes then – boom – your child broke out in a violent case of transgenderism and became…something? Rabid, perhaps. Or they turned into one of those monsters who left only one sheet of toilet paper on the roll, strategically wrapped around the cardboard spindle to look like there was more.

The feared consequences were never entirely clear, but they never were with these types of moral panics. Aziraphale had seen it all before, too many times, and while she wasn’t that deep into the lore of this new derangement she thought she knew the root of the anxiety behind it: the children were not listening to their parents. It always happened, and it had to happen, because it was normal and natural for them to do so. But letting them go? Letting them go off and do their own thing and make their own mistakes? Yes, that was terrifying, and that’s where the Alisons came in useful to the Louises, who knew how to poke at those natural parental anxieties like a demon goading the damned. Alisons, in their own way, were as dangerous as the Louises. It took a wolf to frighten the sheep, yes, but a stampede of sheep could still make one hell of a mess.

That village needed a sheepdog.

“Hmm?” said Crowley, getting to her feet. Something rustled, as though she’d been sitting on a shopping bag, and Aziraphale glanced back at the sofa, half hoping that Crowley had popped into Coco de Mer for old times sake. But no. “What are you on about?” said Crowley, meandering to the window. “We’re not getting a dog.”

“Who said anything about getting a dog?”

“You did. Just now. You just said ‘that village needs a sheepdog’ while fiddling with the backs of your earrings, and staring out at the river.” Crowley’s arms slithered around her from behind. “Are you all right? You’re not going to start turning London landmarks into vaginas, are you?”

“I’m fine,” said Aziraphale. “Just thinking aloud. You know me. I’m very old, and my mental processes are opaque at the best of times.” There it was again. The rustle. Like the scrunch of a plastic bag, but wet somehow. “What’s that noise?”

“Traffic. You know – that thing they have in London?”

“I know what traffic sounds like, Crowley. And it doesn’t squelch. Is that you?”

“Oh. That. Yeah. I’ve got Vaseline socks on.”

Aziraphale leaned her head back into Crowley’s chest and looked up. “I’m sorry – what?”

“It’s a thing,” said Crowley, taking a seat at the table. “Like, yes, I know Louise is a creature from Hell, but Olga told me she has this hardcore method of moisturising feet, and you know me and feet. I’ll take any help I can get. You cover your feet with petroleum jelly, put a sock on over the top, then let it just…sit. Marinate.”

“I see. Won’t you get Vaseline all over your socks?”

“No. That’s the clever part, see. You put a plastic sandwich bag over the Vaseline, and then you put on the sock…”

“…and rustle and squelch strangely all over a nice suite at the Savoy?”

“Yes.”

“You’re entirely bizarre,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley wriggled in her chair. “You love me,” she said, running a socked and sandwich-bagged foot up the back of Aziraphale’s calf.

“I do, but please attend to the foot situation before we go any further. I’m sorry, but I can’t get amorous when you’re roaming around with your feet done up a la Louise. Just the mere thought of that woman is enough to render me parched to the knees and beyond.” Aziraphale reached for the wine list again. “Shall I order us some champagne?”

“Surprised it took you this long, actually. I was beginning to think you were ill.”

#ineffable wives #good omens #fanfic #writing #the lady gardener #a fete worse than death

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athenaspeculiardaughter · 6 months

Note

i had too many just to put in the comments. i dont know how much you wanted so... thats on you.

jason loves heavy metal and plays the drums. he's also gay and in a qpr with leo and piper. hes got a wolf cut and still has some of his wolf-like tendencies, having adopted them from living with lupa at a young age. when he went to camp jupiter, those tendencies dissapeared over time, people telling him that it wasnt normal to eat raw meat or chew on things. but he never quite learned to smile with teeth when he was happy, and growls when hes mad. also i think he has a peircing somewhere. and i think he used to be super jacked, like shredded unhealthy jacked, but when he went to college he had less time to work out and he got some fat around his muscles and he loves it so much, and he looks a lot cuter this way.

leo is aroace possibly gay as well, and loves 80s music, like huey lewis and the news, some billy joel, and some dire straits. he also is obsessed with back to the future (his fave is the cowboy one, bc of his texan roots). on him being from texas, i think he has a little bit of a texas accent, just bc he was mostly raised by foster families in the south. he used to have a spanish accent, but it faded after having spent so little time speaking spanish and being around spanish speaking people. i think he totally wouldve been a band kid except he never had the time and the time passed a long time ago.

piper has lots of peircings, her newest one is snake bites and she always has smudged eyeliner. she likes the cure and is kind of goth. shes a lesbian, but, again, in a qpr with jason and leo and says theyre the only guys she thinks are hot. she loved heathers and totally had a crush on winona ryder. she had an ed bc of how exposed she was to hollywood culture, but shes working on it. she has a tooth gap and an indigenous nose. she has this really loud pretty laugh and she loves to dance.

annabeth listens to arctic monkeys 24/7. shes unlabeled and strictly wears jeans. no jewelry besides her necklace, not even her ears are peirced. she forgets to eat, but only because she gets so engrossed in her work, and percy has to bring her food. at that point its pretty easy, if percy just puts the plate next to her she'll absentmindedly eat it, same with a cup of water. she's got lots of band tshirts too, a lot of them stolen from percy.

percy is a skater boy. he wears baggy band tshirts and sweats or jeans and a couple necklaces and peircings. i think he has an eyebrow peircing and was really tempted to get cheek peircings before realizing that then he would have holes in his cheeks and that fucked with his brain too much to get them. he also wears eyeliner but likes doing annabeths makeup more than his, which he gets to do often, since she could never refuse his puppy eyes. hes got lots of sea animal stuffed animals on his bed instead of pillows. he wore a skirt once and wasnt opposed to them, but eventually decided it wasnt worth flashing people. in the summer he is a strictly no shoes no socks man, can only find him barefoot or with sandals.

hazel is short. thats canon ik but its important. she likes softer music like sleeping at last and music like tori amos. she also likes astronomy and stargazing, and youd think she believes in astrology but she thinks its all bullshit. she likes drawing objects like theyre sentient, not humanoid, but she makes them feel alive, like creatures. she loves stuffed animals too, and is in the process of learning the viola. she still uses old fashipned words (canon) but curses like a sailor and has very modern views for someone born in the 30s.

frank never loses his fat. hes still fat, i hate that they made him all buff like it was a part of his character arc to lose weight. frank is a theater kid. thank you for coming to my ted talk. he likes graphic novels like amulet and nimona, etc. he has a really infectious smile, wide, dimpled and too cute. again, theater kid, though i dont think he can sing very well, but he has fun trying.

i think thats most of it. honestly i got really caught up in it and made up some stuff along the way. if you dont like any of it thats fine:)

Honestly your headcanons are really interesting I never thought about 3/4 of them and I actually like them😄

#riodanverse #rick riordan #percy jackson #annabeth chase #frank zhang #hazel levesque #piper mclean #jason grace #leo valdez

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genderstarbucks · 3 months

Note

" Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders "

" Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians " neither of those exist take your meds,

"R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass" yeah lol :3

" Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass" so theyre not lesbian got it ^_^

" It's not affecting you assfuck " have you ever thought about maybe the ideology that lesbians can like men is literally what gets most of them raped

anyway all the swearing from ur post makes me giggle bc youre actually so mad, maybe ask mommy to change your diaper or something

" Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great " im actually so happy i dont fit those bc i dont date 500lbs people LMAOO maybe try listening to other people than your divorced mom who got beaten by all her past partners who says "youre so beautiful" because all shes doing is lying to you, it would b better for you to know now that ur double chin aint doing any good for you. you just gotta know youre really below average before someone tells you and you end up killing yourself over it

" Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock " how about you use the labels the term "delusional, obese, and extremely ugly"

I literally do not care

#tw suicide

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bamboobrat · 1 year

Text

succession s4 e5 recap: swedish elon and his logan roy tribute band

time is a flat circle and we are back to ken hyping himself listening to rap, driving to the office.

anyone feeling nostalgic yet?

he is immediately caught off guard by the fact that roman and shiv are already there.

also he seems like the worst boss ever.

i really don't like ken when he is not hitting rock bottom.

(there is a movie about a sleeping robot in a cave that takes up too much time in this episode. let's not get into all that)

the old guard checks up on the CE-bros before their trip to norway.

matchy matchy<3

turns out mattson wants them all there (why wouldn't he?) so THE GANG IS GOING TO NORWAY! lets bleed the swede!*

*as a norwegian, i approve this message

mortality has set into team krank, as they put on compression socks before the flight.

krank is not here to have fun. krank has no young mistress to impress. krank is serious.

shiv has noticed ken's leaks to the media from last week because she is boss. it's the comeback we've been waiting for.

but most importantly, she is waging a very important war against tom and his stupid new sneakers:

the sibs say they can kill tom for her. that's brotherly love.

hugo is not having a good time.

i am tho.

gerri rallies the troops by shitting on europeans.

yes mommy tell me i'm weak because i have free healthcare! sit on my face

gerri for CEO. always.

they accurately depict what it is like driving in norway:

(this is why i don't have my licence)

the gang arrives in the motherland and it's beautiful, but rainy (so authentic) and are all like WHY THESE WOOD CABINS SO SMALL?!

ironic because jeremy lives in fucking denmark.

anyway, whatever this is:

I DO NOT APPROVE!

the trip up to mount olympus is interrupted by con saying he can send a picture of their dead dad to the group chat.

nobody wants to see it.

also, marcia is putting logan in a kilt like the fucking bay city rollers and con had to cancel a room full of working class whites in cleveland. the sacrifice.

they give con carte blanche for the whole funeral thing, which is probably a terrible decision.

the funeral is going to be one big campaign rally, i'm serious.

the others have to settle for a nice lil scandi brunch spread. what a hard life.

i don't say this often, but i would be hugo in this scenario, piling onto my plate like it's nobody's business.

karolina has a cute lesbian moment.

she says something in swedish at some point, but let me tell you, i understand swedish and i didn't even pick up on it. no shade to dag, but lol.

hugo doesn't understand how ski jumping works.

i thank the writers for putting this joke in there, even if literally no one other than random scandi people will get it.

it's like the opposite of danny boyle's the beach<3 give back to the community<3

roman enters negotiations and puts his fingers in the caviar.

you think i didn't notice? after all this time, you must know i notice everything.

the CE-bros make the village elders proud, as mattson offers 187 per share as long as he gets ATN.

also, gerri does a second take looking back at roman. these are the crumbs i am destined to live on, i guess. roman doesn't want to give up ATN tho, probably because 1) his dad wanted ATN 2) his dad told him he wouldn't make it at pierce and belongs at ATN 3) he is, somehow, the most rational of the siblings right now????

speaking of rational: how are we feeling about the shiv/mattson potential here? i honestly have zero objections.

shiv is like fuck yeah, sell ATN, that shit is toxic.

agreed, but who gave mencken an open line to ATN-meetings? sounds like something logan told cyd to do during one of those late night calls.

"even dad had a line" rings true zero percent. pass.

get rid of atn. word is, they don't even have tucker carlson anymore? just keep a sweater, much less racist.

we get some important leo dicap representation:

and greg is the bringer of all that is exposition, telling us there is a kill list with 8 to 9 names, ever evolving.

now, as most readers of these recaps would know, i would like to avoid spending any time on greg whatsoever (made even more poignant by the recent rumors about nick), however, this must be one of the best exchanges of dialogue ever made:

greg: da fam shiv: da fuck

that's all.

tom tells the swedes that americans don't care about the rest of the world and it's funny because it's true.

and alex being like "you're ALL related?!"

i see you, succession writers, i see you.

mattson calls waystar a parts shop and has a good take on right wing media:

"i dont think news for angry, old men works"

instead, he opts for bloomberg grey: simple, cheap, huge, ikea'd to fuck. i do love ikea.

he calls the sibs a tribute band which is harsh. even for a scandi, it's fucking harsh.

anyway, SAUNA! SAUNA! SAUNA!

GERRI. IN. SAUNA! (chant with me)

i will never forget what the succession writers took from me.

krank out here just chilling.

i've never shipped anyone more.

we are introduced to ebba. i can tell i'd have more to say on this in any other situation, but it just feels weird (all norwegian know each other, i guess).

anyone else here for the shiv/mattson dynamic?

i'm sorry, i kind of ship it????

ken wants to tank the deal and roman immediately calls him out on his destructive bullshit:

and then immediately caves.

"i think we are good at running the ship" they say after doing it for approximately 24 hours.

i wish i had their confidence.

also, pinky can't dance, according to ken, so they keep shiv out. meanwhile, she gets cozy with lukas, who asks her about her marriage (bad) and tells her he sends liters of blood to ebba (also bad).

shiv shows us why she is paid the big bucks for political advice:

we don't see the end of their night, so i'm just going to assume they fucked. because she's worth it.

also, talking up gerri and karolina? girlies stick together<3

big bi vibes here. huge. idc if she's pregnant and drinking.

meanwhile, the CE-bros use greg to leak that the negotiations are souring. why would you trust greg with anything?

in an attempt to fuck the deal, the CE-bros show a terrible film to the swedish team, as if being scandi doesn't mean you've sat through enough terrible cinema already....

we get the strangest fight in tv history:

lol @ us for thinking this was an important moment for the two of them and then it's a fight about white sneakers and fat earlobes.

i sure hope shiv fucked lukas.

roman receives a photo of his dead dad and it doesn't really put him in the right place to negotiate with mattson:

ouch.

leave it to kieran to make an emmy-worthy speech across from alex skarsgaard peeing.

the plan was: tank the deal, but in a subtle way. what they did: try and tank the deal, but in a not very subtle way. did the deal tank: no.

i hope you understand.

the question is, if a deal collapses in the woods and no one hears it, is it a SEC violation?

mattson ends up offering 192 per share. karl jizzes his pants.

shiv gives the little spelunker tom a lil treat, telling him to fire cyd.

then she asks him out?

and ignores him again because she is taking a call from mattson?

idk my dudes, but i'm into this shiv comeback.

mattson seems happy and flirty and i sure as shit hope this goes somewhere.

as long as it doesn't involve liters of frozen blood.

i have a feeling it will be all good vibes until he learns about her pregnancy. there's always something rotten in the state of denmark (or norway, or sweden, but it's all the same).

the waystar-team receives the kill list after the offer and it's very stressful for a few people who made themselves suffer through a session in the sauna:

not on the kill list: karolina gerri tom because shiv fucking did the thing!!

oh, and karl and frank are on the kill list, but i think they are just fine.

maybe the real treasure was the compression socks we made along the way.

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sivyera · 1 year

Text

my MLP headcanons!

(I'm gonna use them on my other mlp posts)

! PICS OF THEIR FACES THAT I'M GONNA USE ARE DRAWN BY CLOIIIIII ! I don't know if she has tumblr or not but her insta, tiktok and twitter is @cloiiiiii ! I just love her drawing and I think she made them look so cool and that's just how I imagine them as humans.

none of those pictures are mine!

⤷ AJ

lesbian, she/her

makes apple cider, apple pie and bread for her friends

her hat was actually her mom's

listens: Rascal Flatts, Faith Hill, Luke Bryan, Toby Keith, Sam Hunt, Brad Paisley, Bernadette Peters, Dolly Parton

wears suits to formal events

she has trouble asking for help but if she does ask you for help, she trusts you with all her heart

mom friends type

strong af, like buff type of body (like Rhea Ripley)

loves sunrises

early bird

play a guitar

tomboy

closet:

face claim:

body type:

⤷ Dash

lesbian, she/her

tomboy

also wear suits to formal events

plays electric guitar and drums

loves energy drinks (monsters)

gamer

likes spicy food

skater girl and she is really good at skating

she loves showing off

collects sneakers

writes songs but never show/play them to anybody

loves running and sometimes she runs at the very morning

bad sleep schedule

listens: AC/DC, eminem, my chemical romance, the offspring, imagine dragons, kordhell, NF, girl in red

dog person

athletic strong

closet:

face claim:

body type:

⤷ Rarity

bi, she/her

she's constantly questioning her sexuality (between bi and a lesbian)

loves shopping

sometimes using pinterest for clothing inspo

loves getting her nails done

loves romantic movies

loves doing her make-up and loves doing make_up to her friends or makeovers

loved Bratz when she was little

makes clothes for her friends when they want something specific they can't find in stores

loves necklaces

obsessed with skin care

cat person

listens: lady gaga, MARINA, Poppy, Britnes Spears, Doja Cat, ariana grande, nelly furtado, madanna

closet:

face claim:

body type:

⤷ Twilight

bi, she/they

OCD

drinks a lot of tea and coffee

has bad sleep schedule

loves reading

big harry potter fan and owns a ravenclaw scarf

loves astrology

everything has to be perfect, tidy and clean, unless she's studying at that moment she doesn't care about anything

loves chocolate croissant

hates PE

pear body type/shape

loves comedy movies or movies based on true events

sometimes she doesn't know what sleep and rest means it :|

loves AJ's bread

listens: mother mother, penelope scott, beach bunny, cavetown, mitski, twenty one pilots, MARINA, arctic monkeys, olivia rodrigo

closet:

face claim:

body type:

⤷ Pinkie Pie

pansexual, she/they

eats a lot of candy

donuts are her favourite

uses a lot of emojis

ADHD

loves to draw

very creative

watches anime

good with kids

loves stickers

tries different hairstyles all the time

doesn't like cold colours

loves painting rocks

drink chocolate milk

loves AJ's apple cider

listens: bambee, the living tombstone, nightcore reality, katty perry, pharrell williams, gwen stefani

closet:

face claim:

body type:

⤷ Fluttershy

pansexual, she/they

loves tea, hates coffee

vegetarian

,, :3 ''

loves stuffed animals and has a lot of them

her fav animals are rabbits and frogs, but after all she loves all kinds of animals

social anxiety

loves sweets

her fav flower is daisy

healthiest sleep schedule of all girls

sometimes watch anime with pinkie

likes chocolate cake

owns funny socks and kinda collects them

listens: clairo, mxmtoon, melanie martinez, chloe moriondo, olivia rodrigo, cavetown, olivia o., naikho

closet:

face claim:

body type:

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT GUYS!!

#mlp #mlp headcanons #my little pony #my little pony headcanons #rainbow dash #applejack #fluttershy #pinkie pie #twilight sparkle #rarity

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hazbmymhotel · 7 days

Text

Why does both A03 AND Tumblr eat my italics??? If you want formatting, I guess follow the link for chapter 3!

Otherwise head below the cut!

Chapter 3) Listen, Do You Even Know Shit?

Husker flattened his ears in irritation. Across his chest were bright rainbow letters: Be yourself. Unless you can be a lesbian, then be A LESBIAN.

“It's none of your fucking business, Alastor.”

“Oh-ho! You think after that little stunt, you can talk back to me that way?” Alastor acted as though blood wasn't seeping through the bandages on his neck.

Husk turned his head, flicking his tail. “Excuse me, Alastor,” he said out of habit.

“That's my shirt,” Vaggie snarled.

“I thought it looked cuter on Me,” Angel Dust told her, relaxing with his gun at his side. “But now I think it looks Cutest on Husker.”

Husk scowled at the lot of them. “I'm gonna go fuckin' sleep.”

“I'm sure we got this,” Angel told him, eyes fixed on Alastor. “I got some business to take care of first.”

Husk was already halfway out of the room. “Try not to get anymore blood on the walls.”

“No fighting!!” Charlie said quickly.

“Relax, Toots,” Angel told her, dropping his gun into Charlie's hands. “Do Mommy a favor and take this to my room, huh, Doll?”

Vaggie sputtered. “She's not your personal–”

“Sure!” Charlie beamed, just happy the weapon was now out of dangerous hands.

Alastor stood, waiting with a bored smile.

He waited, staring at Angel.

“What the Fuck was that about?!” Angel finally shouted.

“Ah, there we are,” Alastor sighed. “Shall we talk in my quarters?”

“What? Now you wanna take me to your bedroom?! You fuckin' asshole, I can't believe you'd suggest this shit right now!”

“Ew.” Alastor looked at him flatly, save for his grin. “I believe I just said ‘talk.’ Get your mind to a more savory location, Angel…” he perked up, “such as My bedroom! Shall we?” The Radio Demon walked anyway, not waiting for a proper answer.

“Ugh!” Angel stalked after him, annoyed. He tried not to think about his lack of socks or slippers…no one was around to even glance at his feet, let alone stare. He looked at his own bedroom door as they passed it, wondering if Husk had tucked himself inside.

“Y'know, I should get dressed,” Angel said, feeling pensive.

“You're not in a rush for answers?” Alastor asked, stepping along.

“I don't wanna sit in my transparent fuckin robe and have you staring my body down while I get those answers.”

Alastor paused.

“Fair enough. Though I expect actual clothing, none of those hot pants.” Alastor shuddered uncomfortably.

“Fine. I'll be there…in an hour. A boy’s gotta look presentable.” Angel took Alastor’s silence as a yes, and turned to hurry into his room.

“Oh fuck, what the fuck am I doin’?” Angel undid his robe and tossed it aside. He didn't see Husk anywhere…which was disappointing.

“What did I even get myself into??” Angel pulled on a long pair of socks, feeling more comfortable with that barrier against the world. He sat back on his bed and groaned loudly, grabbing his face with four hands.

“Are you alright?”

Angel nearly jumped out of his skin. Husker pulled himself out from beneath the bed with a long stretch. He'd abandoned the shirt, but was in another of Angel’s ensembles.

“Fuckin’ hell, Whiskers! You almost scared me to death!” Angel sat up, looking him over. He had to struggle to keep his mind clear.

“Husker, are you just gonna wear all my clothes?”

Husk arched back on all fours, stretching his wings. “The last shirt was Vaggie's.” He stood and climbed onto the bed. “They're just clothes…are they special?” He looked down at himself, concerned he might ruin a piece Angel loved.

“Not until just right now, no.” Angel reached his hand out, adjusting the strap of the tight little top on Husk’s shoulder. “I didn't expect you'd put on girl’s clothes.”

“Clothes are clothes,” Husk shrugged. “Plus…I'm a lot cuter now than I ever was alive.”

“Mmh.” Angel just watched him for a moment.

Husk fluttered his wings slightly. “What?”

“I belong to you,” Angel said. “I belong to You.” He leaned over, cupping under Husk's chin. His heart shaped nose blushed red again, and Angel’s insides squirmed.

“What of it?” Husker asked, turning his head to kiss Angel’s palm. He stared down at the bed for a moment, letting his muzzle rest in Angel’s hand.

“I still don't…understand.”

“What?” Angel asked, pulling away to get dressed. He opted for a frilly dress with too many buckles to be practical.

Husk relaxed into Angel’s bed. “I don't get how you turned the tables on Alastor so fast..or…how you claimed me so easily…or how…” he struggled to find the words.

“How I broke my contract?” Angel provided. Husk nodded slightly, so the spider continued, “it's…complicated, Whiskers. I can't say I even know how to explain it. So much of it, from Alastor to, ah, us,” he smiled to himself. He started applying eye shadow.

“I followed my gut.”

“Fuck you. You didn't do all that on a gut feeling.” Husk sat up again.

“Ain't you gonna lie down already? I did. I swear. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Husk urged.

Angel sighed and moved to blush his cheeks. It was odd to see the little x’s where three of his eyes used to be. It hurt, but it wasn't anythin’ he couldn't handle. “I…Listen, spiders aren't very common down here. We're all part of one big, fucked up family for the most part.”

Husk moved to the edge of the bed. “You got family down here?”

“Hah. Yea, plenty.” Angel made a sour face as he applied lipstick. “Buncha pricks for the most part. Save for my sister. I ain't seen her nowhere in hell…she's probably too good for it, see?”

Husk watched Angel quietly, admiring as he parted his lips to apply mascara.

Angel went on, figuring Husk was just waiting. “We had…lots to do when I was alive. And then the drugs got me. When I died, the fuckers still wanted more. You know how sinners are, I dunno, reborn? We all got special talents?”

“Yea?”

“Well, aside from suckin’ dick, I don't really…know much of mine. But my family all has a lot of skills. I dunno, it's fuckin’ magic oowooo garbage.”

“We're in hell,” Husk mused, “isn't all of this some magic oowooo garbage?”

Angel fluffed his hair. “Guess you're right. But…I ain't got a lotta answers. I'm gonna try and get some.”

“From Alastor?” Husk provided.

“Yea…maybe. Maybe he knows somethin’. Or maybe he'll just try to kill me as soon as I get in his room. But that shit he pulled with Val, callin’ me an overlord, that was out of line.” Angel stood up and slid his feet into one of his favorite heels. “I ain't shit.”

Husk stood and grabbed his lower set of hands. “That's just not true.”

Angel’s heart leapt into his throat.

“It's not.” Husk told him. “You've even said so yourself. So go give him hell, Baby. More hell.”

Angel squeezed his hands. “Thanks, Husker.” He held them for a long minute. “Is this where I get to kiss you again?” He brought out his third set of arms and lifted the cat. “I really want to.”

“You own me now,” Husk said, and they both leaned in.

Angel was the first to turn his head away. “There's no reason that should make me feel this good. I'm a goddamned porn star.”

Husk untangled his hands from Angel’s and moved them around his neck. “Maybe I'm just that good.”

Angel giggled as Husk peppered him in soft kisses, from his neck to the new empty sockets on his face. “Fuck, you're full of yourself,” he said breathlessly.

“You could be, too,” Husk said, quietly. Angel felt himself electrified from head to toe.

“I got stuff t’do,” Angel wheezed.

“Later,” Husk promised.

Angel twirled them both before setting Husk back onto the bed. “Listen, you're gettin’ me all flustered. Let Mommy do his job, huh?” Angel tugged Husk’s arms away, once again missing how it made the cat squirm.

“Yeah. Sure. Right,” Husk said tightly, letting Angel push him into the bed. He was even covered with a blanket.

Angel winked at him and finally turned heel, leaving the bedroom.

“Damn, all worked up,” Angel muttered as he took the stairs to Alastor's bastard tower. He knocked firmly on the door, hearing a cheerful:

“Come in.”

Angel did just that, walking into the space and frowning in confusion. “Alastor, don't you got a bed in here?”

“Whatever gave you the idea that I need to sleep?” Alastor's voice cracked. “In any case, welcome. Tea? My dear Niffty brought it up. I encourage you to have some, that is, unless you intend to strip my ownership of her, too?”

“Yea, no, it's probably fuckin' poison.” Angel closed the door behind him. “And you sound pretty pissy about the whole ordeal.”

Alastor's eye twitched, but he just sipped his tea. “You had questions for me, my dear?”

“Uh. Yes?! I'm pretty sure that was fuckin' clear.” Angel crossed his arms and leaned back against the door.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Alastor chatted as though they were old friends. “Do come sit. Surely I wouldn't be stupid enough to try and attack while I'm recovering. Right? Wouldn't you agree? And I like to pride myself in my intelligent choices.”

Angel glared at him, before giving a shrug. “Fine.” He strode forward in two large steps before sitting.

“I'm sure you startled yourself almost as much as you had me with your actions. I had never taken you to be quite so bold.” The deer said around the edge of his cup. “I dare say, I am impressed.”

“Impressed enough to call me an overlord?” Angel accused.

“Did it not work to intimidate your pimp?”

Angel relaxed, if only slightly. He raised his brows and glanced away. “I guess it did.”

“I believe I owed you a favor for sparing my life.” Alastor refilled his tea. “Are you sure you don't want a cup? It's lavender!” When Angel didn't answer, he continued, “we both know you had me. Even your adoration for Charlie wouldn't stop you from killing me…so what was it? A power play, perhaps?”

“I just.. didn't think it was necessary,” Angel rolled the words in his mouth, working to convince himself.

“Oh? But a deal with Me was necessary? That's so foolish, Angel Dust. Try again.” Alastor narrowed his eyes.

Angel crossed his ankles and grunted. He reached out for a tea cup, allowing Alastor to fill it. “You're a creepy son of a bitch, Alastor…but you're my friend. Ain't ya? In some fuckin' sense?”

Alastor sipped his tea, refusing to answer.

“I guess,” Angel swirled the tea in his cup, “I mean I think…I dunno. I guess I know you're still really strong.”

“Ahh, there we go!” Alastor chirped, “it's advantageous to keep me around!!!”

“Ain't it hurtin’ you to talk right now?” Angel sank into his chair a bit. He took a sip, and was surprised, “oh, this is good!”

“Yes, it's why I'm drinking it,” Alastor agreed. “And my throat is fine. I've certainly been worse off.” Angel couldn't tell if he was lying, but figured it was Alastor's own damned business.

“So…I guess goin’ back to overlordin. Where would I even, uh, lord over?” Angel asked awkwardly. “Or were you just gettin’ Valentino outta here?”

Alastor considered for a moment, glancing into his own tea cup. “I think you have…potential. I hope you know I don't say such a thing lightly. Though, you need to have more understanding. And this, I understand, will take some information gathering.”

“You're not talkin’ about readin’ books I'm guessin’.”

“Correct. I'm aware of the Spiders Nest. It would be foolish of me not to be.”

Angel mulled on it for a moment. “I don't really wanna fuckin’ go there.”

“Then squander your potential, as you always do,” Alastor sighed.

“That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?” Angel said with a huff.

“Well, are you going to find answers in a book?” Alastor challenged. “Or do you have a better idea?”

“I don't even know if I wanna do this shit.” Angel slurped loudly, sure it would irritate the Radio Demon.

Alastor rolled his eyes and leaned into his hand. “Are we not speaking candidly, Angel? Are we not friends as you said?”

Angel groaned. “Fuck off, Al, you just basically called me out for that.”

“Now, now.” The deer soothed, “surely you want to protect what you have. All that you have? You've just gained your freedom, more or less.”

“What do you mean, less??”

“You gave your soul to a washed up overlord yourself. What if our good friend Husker decides he wants power once more? He longs for it, you know.” Alastor set down his cup to gesture as he spoke. “It's what my deal with him was for. He's a pitiful, weak man. I can't imagine he'll be pleased as your little pet cat.”

“That's not how I see it!” Angel sloshed his tea as he slapped it onto the table.

“Oh, did I strike a nerve?” Alastor teased. “Surely you called it a marriage or some other such nonsense, but what do you truly know of Husker? And what if you find yourself weak? Will you allow yourself to be a pet? What happens if he gambles you away,” he wafted his fingers in the air, “like the thousands of other souls he'd handed to me. What then?”

Angel stood up, chair screeching against the floor. “I think we're done here.”

“Oh? Such a pity. You haven't finished your tea.”

“Fuck your tea,” Angel was out the door before finishing his declaration, “and fuck you!”

“Always a pleasure!” Alastor called, pleased as punch.

#huskerdust #hazbin hotel #angel dust #husker #mymart #fanfic #til death do us part

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