RAH RAH RAH RAH PEOPLE WHO SPEAK/WANT TO LEARN GERMAN AND LIKE THE HOBBIT BOOK. LISTEN TO ME
ARD (THE GERMAN EQUIVALENT TO THE BBC) HAS AN AUDIO BOOK OF THE HOBBIT ONLINE. AND YOU CAN DOWNLOAD IT!
BUT ONLY UNTIL JANUARY 24TH, AFTER THAT THEY'RE TAKING IT DOWN
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You know, Smitten and Damsel were some of the least interesting characters to me– because, well, by their very own nature they’re very simple and surface-level characters, and while I always appreciated their roles and found their route really fun and fascinating, I wasn’t all that interested in exploring them further, not the same way I wanna explore many other voices and vessels.
In come (Explore) This New Old World, I give both Smitten and Damsel a major role because it feels right with the world I build, and FUCK, they’re so cute and fascinating actually!! They’re simplicity makes them bounce off other voices so well, and they’re so genuinely themselves and genuinely in love — with each other, with their friends, with the world around them — that it’s honestly uplifting and heart-warming.
Listen, I’m not a very positive person by nature, and I can be very cynical of the world around me; I had to drag my brain kicking and thrashing into more positive and hopeful forms of thinking– so I was a bit unsure of my ability to write characters as simple and positive as these two. But honestly? It was not only easier than I thought, it was kinda healing.
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What if after the Reichenbach Falls in their grief and mourning John and Mariana kind of get together?
There's no company anymore not when Sherlock's absence has left such a vast hole, not when John can't even log onto Spotify without crying looking at all the cases they went on and not when Mariana can barely pick up client's phone calls without feeling sick.
So there's no inappropriate workplace romance happening cause there isn't even a workplace anymore.
Mariana and John don't talk about Sherlock much, it's too painful and they certainly won't speak about their own personal feelings about him either, why would it matter anyways? He's dead.
They don't talk about it. They don't talk about how they still buy and stock up on Sherlock's pasta sauce when they go grocery shopping. They don't talk about Sherlock's room, about it being empty, about cleaning it out, about the fact that the man that occupied it would never come back. They don't talk about his last chemical experiment and equipment still on the kitchen table, untouched and unfinished. They don't talk about it. They just don't. Not even months after he's gone and won't. Ever.
Then the impossible happens, Sherlock comes back from death just casually strolling in to surprise them both. And afterwards Mariana has to help John after he fainted and then Sherlock after John punches him.
And John and Mariana are so full of happiness and relief! The three share kisses and hugs. But...what now though? They go from struggling with his lack of presence, the new routine of just the two of them and mourning Sherlock's death to now having not only him back but their routine and business.
And with everything seemingly being back to what it felt like, the want of what once was comes crashing down - Mariana and John break up to go back to a time before Sherlock's death, even though Sherlock doesn't agree (he just finds out) and tells them that they can only go forward.
Cue the angst of Mariana and John's breakup, John's unresolved feelings for Sherlock that he now has a chance to resolve, Mariana's lingering feelings for John and new found ones for Sherlock, Sherlock confronting his own feelings of jealousy and confusion towards Mariana and John starting a relationship when he was gone (and without him? If he didn't 'die' would they have asked him into the relationship? What about now? He wanted them both but did both want him? What does want even mean?? Does he want a platonic or romantic relationship with them? What even is the difference? And etc etc etc).
And then they got together somehow and all retired on a bee farm where Mariana sells their honey at the local farmers market, Sherlock tends to the bees and John is just a house hubby.
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seasons change but people don’t (should b workin on grad school applications, instead lookin at pictures of Spock on my phone. just like when I was in high school, and I shoulda been workin on college applications, and instead was lookin at pictures of Spock on my phone)
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Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)
On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).
It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.
Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:
Things went from bad to...
worse,
until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.
:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn't give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful.
And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC's budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you've shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if it feels like I'm barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.
I can't wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I'm so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.
Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.
Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I'd like to share; Idren/Ida's 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I'd like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id's 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!
To see it, go through Lena's scene and don't scream -> accept alliance -> visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and... almost dying.
Play it here. Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn't finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn't be any, but you never know.)
A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:
It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn't. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven's lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you.
"People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made." Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.
And some art of F!Leith that I have started:
♥ That's it. Know that I'm working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain't no quitting. See you soon!
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