My sister’s husband gave me the shirt and it has so much deeper meaning than anything. I was a Mac Miller fan since before he was big and I was just watching him on YouTube and listening to his music. I think it was like Donald Trump that really made him blow up. I saw him in concert five times before he passed, but the significance of all of this it’s crazy and if you want to hear it, you could keep reading and if you don’t wanna hear it that’s fine I just felt like having a nice nice little diary vent on this beautiful day after a nice Christmas evening.
The meaning behind this shirt, and that Mac Miller is saying resonates with me because though I’m an independent woman and I take pride in that - and I do still think that woman should be able to work and everything if that’s what they want to do & have their rights - but primally and primal instincts are that the man is the provider and the woman is the nurture and caretaker, because she creates the children, and we just have those qualities and hormones within us, whereas a man has the qualities to provide and protect.
That being said - I just never found a man that wanted to help provide, and protect me, so I always had to not only provide for myself and protect myself, but I also had to provide for my significant others, and so I never got to live in my nurturing feminine nature that I’m supposed to living in.
I have lived on my own since 19 and pushed myself working full-time through two going on three college degrees and I take a lot of pride in that but I also deserve to be able to have a partner and help so it’s just meaningful to me.
Honestly, I did it because I'm my hustle phase right now. I really really want to get another car. Building the discipline and making the conscious effort to save harder than I ever have in my adult life is taxing. Especially because I just shifted from eight hours to ten hours a day at work.. Overnights. But, because it afforded me better opportunity to pursue photography again on better terms.
It gave me a little leg room, considering everything I've been fighting for. I have more time for therapy, a new speech therapist, and a few much needed hospital trips.
For me, the weight gain is going to be the hardest thing to maintain. If I'm being completely candid, it's a big part of the reason I started OnlyFans. (I say that every time I cite a new reason) but because after the stroke almost two years ago, I've been struggling to recover. I was 40 for a year. now I'm pushing 80 again. My goal is just to get somewhere comfortable where everyone's not calling me anorexic/bulimic as those are real conditions I don't have.
So OnlyFans is where I post my progress. Mentally. Physically. Creatively. I've got a few Mac projects I'm actually traveling to bring to fruition. Hence the Great Farry Lisherman. If you know, you know.
listenin' to music, haven't slept in like five days. i tried to take a nap, lean my head against the window. it feels real, i swear to God this shit pretend, though. cause, me, i get high, make music for a living if that ain't the best job, then give me your opinion. cause i love life, chillin' for the night. ✈️☁️💫 she said — mac miller