#lan zhan dropkick him

[vrishchikawrites]

When a character just irks you and you need to hold yourself back while writing them.

#yes i'm talking about jc #why can't i just kick him out of wwx's life #lan zhan dropkick him #anti jiang cheng #i don't hate him but he is super annoying #like an irritating homophobic insect

[meridiangrimm]

I want more time travel aus for The Untamed where the juniors are the ones who get dropkicked into the past to cause chaos and feelings.

The four juniors bump into teenage Wei Wuxian in his og body on a night hunt and “this stranger is a menace but for some reason we love him already??” and then when Wei Wuxian finally introduces himself, they’re like “oh so he’s just always been Like That” and “that’s why he felt so familiar”.

The four kiddos, who do not have access to the inner workings of Wei Wuxian’s mind, assume that he already knows how much of a bisexual disaster he is. They are extremely confused when he’s like “haha, no way, flirting with Lan Zhan? he’s a man you know”.

Alternatively, “it’s not flirting, I’m needling Lan Zhan to see him have an emotion.  I’ve got no idea if he likes my company”, and the juniors need a moment to process how breathtakingly stupid Wei Wuxian can be

Eventually, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen are like “so who’s gonna tell him” and the other two have to stop their matchmaking schemes.

Lan Sizhui finds Wen Ning and Wen Qing, both alive and at Cloud Recesses for the lectures.  Wen Ning wasn’t expecting to be hugged, but this new cousin seems like a nice boy.

Jin Ling meets Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses and she makes the boys soup and he totally, definitely isn’t crying, shut up Jingyi.  He recognizes his father by his sword and, idk, demands to practice archery with Jin Zixuan.

Jin Ling’s obvious respect for Jiang Yanli wins over both of her brothers because finally someone else appreciates her!!  At least someone has common sense!!!

Lan Jingyi is like “as expected, Hanguang-Jun was handsome even as a teenager” and Ouyang Zizhen is like “well I wasn’t gonna say it out loud” and Lan Sizhui is like “please stop, he’s still my father”.

Lan Jingyi, who doesn’t know when to stop: “our Hanguang-Jun is better-looking, though”

Wei Wuxian, who has been standing nearby, has to deal with the idea that Lan Zhan gets even more attractive in the future and that he has children, which inspires a lot of conflicting feelings.  On one hand, Lan Zhan as a father!  On the other hand, Lan Zhan gets married and probably has no time to chase shameless disciples around the mountain.

For the juniors, it’s weird not to call Wei Wuxian “senior” or Jiang Wanyin “sect leader”/“uncle”.  Jiang Wanyin doesn’t know how to react when his bluster has zero effect on Jin Ling, who has heard it all before.

Lan Jingyi and Wei Wuxian start complaining about the punishments in Cloud Recesses and form an unbreakable bond of friendship.  The other juniors realize too late that a mistake has been made.

#the untamed #mdzs #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #ouyang zizhen #jin ling #wei wuxian #lan wangji #time travel #aus #my post

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Winter Fest Day 13: Family

Wherein Lan Xichen experiences his very first Jiang Holiday Extravaganza. (Also on Ao3).

“You’re just--you’re just going to bring him? To Lotus Pier? Just like that? You don’t want to maybe wait until next year? Are you---are you sure he can handle it?”

Jiang Cheng stared at his brother over their lunch table.

Wei Ying rubbed his nose and shrugged. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not about Xichen. You know I love him, and you with him. You two together. But you also know how your mom is this time of year. You know the Lans don’t celebrate Christmas. Even with their basic knowledge of it, there’s having to dodge all the red bows and garlands and santas in the store and then there’s Lotus Pier at Christmas. It’s a neon animatronic freak show that punches you in the face, steals your pride and your lunch money, and then dropkicks you once more for good measure with the holiday spirit.”

“She’s not that bad,” he said.

His mother was enthusiastic about Christmas, perhaps aggressively so to some degree, but she could be reasoned with--bartered with at the very least. The singing stuffed cats in place of the musical nativity set that played ‘What Child Is This?’ for example. Stuffed animals in place of the actual lambs she was tempted to buy for little Yuan’s first holiday season with them. Mistletoe only placed on the main pathways of the house and not every five feet. She could make compromises when met with better offers or a convincing argument.

Few things in this world made his mother truly giddy, but something about Christmas did, and they’d all grown up indulging her. Granted it had turned their mother into a bit of Holly Jolly Yuletide Monster, but that meant she could be easily distracted by anything that lit-up and played a Christmas carol.

“We both have two full weeks off. Two full weeks we intend to spend together,” Jiang Cheng said. “So, it was either deal with Mom’s increasingly dramatic speeches about me abandoning the family and our traditions because of my demands over Thanksgiving or drag Xichen to Lotus Pier, slap a Santa hat on his head, and tell him to keep calm and merry on.”

Wei Ying whistled low.

"What?" Jiang Cheng demanded.

“Nothing," Wei Ying said, fidgeting with his napkin. "Just, you might want to ask Mingjue if you can borrow some of his homemade brew. Xichen might need it to get through the next two weeks. Does he know almost all of the Jiangs and the Yus will be there? To stare at him? The only person you’ve ever brought home for the holidays?”

“They’ll only all be there for Christmas Eve and Day. And New Year’s. The rest of the time they’re at their own homes,” Jiang Cheng said.

He had, in fact, kept that small, truly insignificant detail from Xichen. Even combined the Jiangs and Yus couldn’t hold a candle to the seemingly unending amount of Lans. The biggest difference was, well, the Yus were loudly opinionated and unafraid to show it and the Jiangs were either like Yanli or like...him.

“He’ll be fine,” he said, more to himself than Wei Ying. Xichen was charming. All he had to do was nod and smile and he’d win most of the family over.

His brother scoffed. “Better ask Mingjue for two bottles of that home brew.”

Wei Ying absolutely deserved to get Jiang Cheng’s napkin thrown at him, but he also had a point.

He’d call Mingjue as soon as lunch was over.

**********

“Zhan,” Lan Xichen said in surprise at finding his little brother in his kitchen. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“Yuan wanted to visit Jingyi,” he explained. He finished rearranging Xichen’s orchids, like he always did when he visited. “And I came to prepare you.”

“Prepare me?” Xichen asked in confusion. “Prepare me for what?"

Zhan pulled a dvd case out of his coat pocket and handed it to him.

“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” Xichen read out the title. “What’s this?”

“While done for comedic effect, of all the general holiday films out there, I felt this was the one that would best prepare you for Christmas at Lotus Pier. Once it’s done there is a series, I believe called Crazy Christmas Lights, that we will also watch for your preparation.”

His brother could be hilariously funny and sarcastic when he was in a mood, but this was not a joke. His face and eyes both showed that he was completely serious.

“It can’t be that bad,” he said even as he followed Zhan into the living room.

His brother shook his head. “That’s what I thought. And then I saw the polar bears.”

“The what?” Xichen asked.

“They sing and play instruments, like those bears at Disney World,” Zhan said.

Lan Xichen froze in place. “Madame Yu has her own Christmas version of the Country Bears Jamboree?” he asked.

“Polar bears,” Zhan corrected as he took the dvd case from Xichen’s lax grip.

**********

The drive had been long. The boat trip had been uneventful. Lotus Pier remained one of the most beautiful places Jiang Cheng had ever seen in his life as long as he didn't look at their backyard. Xichen still hadn’t started a running sprint towards the ocean to escape, so Jiang Cheng felt that so far it could all be counted as a success.

“Baby, you need to breathe,” he said once he’d parked the car.

“Is this the right time to mention your mother terrifies more than any person or thing I’ve ever encountered in my life,” Xichen said, clutching Pepper’s carrier in his lap.

“That’s just your natural sense of survival,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s my cousins you really have to be careful around.”

No one could prove that Yu Jinzhu and Yu Yinzhu were professional assassins, but no one could disprove it either. It was one of Wei Ying’s more sensible conspiracy theories.

He leaned across the seat and kissed Xichen’s forehead. “Besides, my mother likes you. Even more, she likes and approves of you. You’re going to be fine.”

“Right, of course,” Xichen said, nodding. He still had a white-knuckle hold on Pepper’s carrier and the fabric was reaching its breaking point.

Jiang Cheng put his hands over Xichen’s own and held them there until Xichen’s entire body relaxed.

“Okay?” he asked.

Xichen nodded again. “Should I also mention I can’t stand your father?”

“Hey,” Jiang Cheng said with a true smile. “That makes two of us.”

Xichen did not laugh. Instead his eyes narrowed as he took in the backyard. “Is that...is that an inflatable Santa and his sleigh and reindeer?”

Jiang Cheng took a deep breath.

“So, here’s the thing,” he said as he unlocked the car doors. “Mom has a bit of a collection.”

**********

There was a tiny elf sitting on the mantle of the fireplace in their bedroom. Logically Xichen knew it was a toy or decorative object and its eyes couldn’t possibly be following him and yet he wondered if Jiang Cheng would be horribly insulted if he hid it in the back of their wardrobe.

“Oh fuck,” Jiang Cheng said as he came into the room . “That fucking creepy ass thing. I thought I got rid of them all already. Where the fuck did this one come from?”

He picked it up and marched across the hall to Wei Ying and Zhan’s room, opening the door wide enough to toss it in.

“No, no, hell no,” Wei Ying said opening the door again, hair and clothes a mess.

“Already?” Jiang Cheng asked. “We’ve only been here for an hour.”

“Yeah? Come back with that judgy face once you have a kid to take care of. You’ll grab any second alone you can get too.” He shoved the elf into Jiang Cheng’s chest. “You take the fucking creepy ass elf. I’ve already cleared this room out. No more. I’m not getting murdered in my sleep.”

“It’s not staying in my room,” Jiang Cheng said.

Both brothers fell silent and then turned their heads to the other bedroom on their floor.

“Yanli will kill us,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Yeah, but imagine the Peacock’s screams,” Wei Ying said. He gripped Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.”

“If I go down, I’m taking you with me,” Jiang Cheng said, already headed towards his sister’s bedroom.

“A worthy death,” Wei Ying said, before slamming his door.

Xichen was on vacation. He was not going to play Academy Headmaster to a group of thirty-somethings. He was going to pretend he hadn’t witnessed the last fifteen minutes. He was going to disavow any knowledge of what just occurred. He was absolutely not going to get on Yanli’s bad side. Or Madame Yu’s.

He continued his unpacking, a task interrupted by the eyes he felt on him earlier, and went over to the wardrobe.

“What the fuck!”

The words were out of his mouth before he even processed it. Jiang Cheng came running back into the room.

“Baby?” he asked.

“Why?” Xichen asked. “Why are there more elves?”

This one was sitting on the top shelf of the wardrobe staring down at him. Looking at him as if he knew Xichen disliked him. It. The decorative object that could not possibly have thoughts or feelings of any kind.

“I am so sorry,” Jiang Cheng said, grabbing it and tossing it towards the hall. “I had no idea she’d acquired more.”

“How many are there?” he asked.

Jiang Cheng cupped his cheek. “I love you,” he said.

“How many?” Xichen asked.

“I love you, so much,” Jiang Cheng said.

“How. Many.”

“With all that’s in me,” he continued.

“Jiang Cheng.”

“There’s probably sixty now,” he said. “She makes it into a scavenger hunt for the kids.”

It was only Saturday. He’d been here for less than two hours. He already felt like he was losing his mind.

He was never ignoring his brother’s warnings again.

“For the record, I deeply wish we were in Maine right now,” he said.

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng agreed.

He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “And while I have no regrets about coming here, I can’t promise all of your mother’s horrid little elf creatures will survive this weekend.”

“We’ll blame it on Sugar,” he said.

“And I love you,” Xichen said. “Even if I’m not entirely sure my sanity will survive this weekend either.”

“You’re not afraid of penguins too are you?” he asked.

Xichen laughed. “No, no, of course not.”

Jiang Cheng hugged him tighter. “You’ll be just fine.”

“What does that mean?” he asked, suddenly not feeling fine at all.

“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng said, too quickly. “Nothing at all. Just a little thing out by the tennis court that’s of no concern.”

Xichen took a deep breath, leaning even more on Jiang Cheng, and reminding himself that this is what it meant to be family, to share each other’s traditions. Even if they came with horribly clashing colors and tacky inflatable lawn decor and creepy elves and a Christmas tree in their room covered in bear ornaments. He still had two full weeks of Jiang Cheng in his arms and Sugar, Pepper, and Nutmeg close to him. With his own brother and his nephew. A few tacky lights and the overpowering smell of peppermint everywhere was a small price to pay for such a gift.

He opened his eyes and found one of those creepy ass elves on top of curtain rod.

“My love, I’m going to need you to sweep this room again, because I just found another one.”

“Fuck,” Jiang Cheng said as he turned around and walked over to the window. “How in the hell did she even--she stuck Velcro on it? What in the hell?”

#long post #untamed winter fest #xicheng #fandom: the untamed #verse: lahl #fic: hold me like you want me