#lack of empathy

[bunnighost]

#traumacore #vent edit #trauma vent #actuallytraumatized #childhood trauma #actuallymentallyill #trauma edit #avpd #bpd #chronic emptiness #empty #loveless #cptsd #traumatized #trust issues #lack of empathy

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

#toxic parents #emotional abuse #accountability #narcissism #therapy #aftermath #maternal narcissism #immature parents #emotionally unavailable #lack of empathy #parental neglect #child neglect #emotional neglect #emotional needs #enablers #abuse apologism #invalidation

[howifeltabouthim]

You must remember that most people don't like to hear when bad things happen. They can tolerate only a little here and there . . . If there are too many bad things, they plug their ears and vilify the victim. But a hundred very bad things happened to me. Am I supposed to be quiet? Bear my pain like a good girl? Or shall I be very bad and take it on the world? Either way I won't be loved.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

#my favorite quote #in denial #avoidance #revictimization #victim blaming #vilified #personal #the worst feeling #unloved #lose lose situation #between a rock and a hard place #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #lisa taddeo #animal #lack of empathy

[pratchettquotes]

Vorbis, who never touched another person inside his head, was a great toucher with his hands.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#vorbis #small gods #discworld #terry pratchett #character description #body language #psychology #contradictions #sociopathy #lack of empathy #touch #inside his head #oneliner

[redd956]

Writing Characters with Varying Empathy, Sympathy, & Compassion

Prt.1 Empathy

First of all, let’s put down the elephant in the room. Lately online there has been a lot of misinformation over the factors of empathy, sympathy, and compassion. So first we need to define how these things differ from each other, and what exactly they are.

The Difference

There is a big difference between these three, made significant by how groups of people tend to overreact and get these terms mixed up, causing unnecessary drama. So...

Empathy

The ability to feel, share and/or understand someone else’s pain/emotions from their standpoint.

Sympathy

The ability to acknowledge and feel pity for someone else’s pain/emotions.

Compassion

Action in good faith deriving from thoughts and feelings from empathy and/or sympathy, to relieve someone else of a negative emotion/pain.

Examples

Character A is sad, because a family member of theirs passed away

Character B cries seeing Character A cry, thinking of their own family member, and imagining how tough it also must be for Character A. They go through the motions together that night, finding comfort in each other. -Usage of empathy

Character B frowns at the sight of Character A crying, knowing what had happened. They waltz into the room, readying a comforting pat. “I’m so sorry, Character A.”, They whisper, leaning up against them, and clasping their shaking hand. -Usage of sympathy

Character B sits beside Character A, a large bowl of their favorite ice cream in hand. “Hey Character A, I heard what happened and I just couldn’t stop thinking about how bad that must be. I brought you some ice cream, it could help with the sore throat from all this crying.” - Usage of Compassion

The Variation Aspect

It is important to note that having empathy doesn’t inherently make someone a better or good person, same goes to lacking empathy making people villainous. There are natural variations of empathy among people, and these do not dictate whether or not someone is more likely to follow what societal alignment or another.

People with high empathy can still be awful, just as those with low empathy can still be kind souls. Empathy levels are detached from morals and ideologies, which is an important notion to make when creating characters.

Average Empathy

Average empathy is being able to feel and express empathy of course at an average level. They have an easy time sharing their emotions, and feeling when someone is going through a particular emotion. They simply experiencing empathy as expected an as most due, and don’t share the same realities as those with heightened empathy, and lower empathy.

Heightened Empathy

Empaths or those with Hyper Empathy are people who have heightened empathy. Some people can be this way naturally, but more commonly hyper empathy can be a side effect to having mental illness, such as PTSD, BPD, or ADHD.

(BPD and ADHD can also have lack of empathy as a side effect)

Obviously, empaths feel more empathy than the average person, this leads to both pros and cons, one more than the other depending on which angle you look at it. Empaths share others’ emotions at a noticeable intensity compared the average. They can more easily spot emotional differences, unearth other people’s masks, and are sensitive to tiny changes in mood. They take the other person’s pain as their own very seriously, as others

Because of this crowds of people can be incredibly overwhelming. Human interaction is more emotionally draining, and they can get socially burnt out far quicker than the average person. Empaths have a difficult time setting boundaries with others. They are often labeled over emotional, and sensitive. With empathy having such positive connotations, many assume that empaths have it easier and live a whimsical life.

Lower Empathy

Those with empathy lower than the average don’t have it easy either, as just like empaths, it drastically affects life, especially socially. Different neurotypes, those with mental illnesses, head trauma, psychological trauma, and more can lead to lacking empathy in one way or another. More well known those with cluster B disorders infamously get their bad reputation due to low empathy.

Those with lower empathy have a difficult time taking on and sharing other people’s emotions. Because of this they can struggle to understand and relate to other’s experiences. They have harder time coping with emotional situations, and can easily misinterpret the emotions/emotional responses of others. Their emotions themselves can seem callus, and inappropriate to situations.

All of this leads to difficulty in decision making related to others, social struggles, and trouble fitting in with societal standards. Lack of empathy itself can range drastically. For many it makes them more susceptible to negative and potential dangerous behaviors, as well as a lack of healthy self-esteem. This has lead to people with low empathy being vilified, especially in media.

OH YEAH IM A WRITING BLOG-

When writing a character with varying empathy there’s definitely a lot to consider. Especially since their levels of compassion or sympathy can vary themselves, separate from empathy. 

You want to avoid

Using empathy related terms incorrectly, but especially disorder/medical terms related to these things incorrectly

Making a character evil solely because their empathy is low

Making a character a pure hero solely because their empathy is high

Things to consider about a character’s empathy

How a character reacts to situations based on a mixture of their empathy, compassion, and sympathy

If you’re character is lacking empathy, how are they handling sympathy

Are their reactions realistic

How a character’s morals and ideals differ from their empathy

Character dynamics formed by a difference or similarity in empathy

Characters in a group reacting differently based on their empathy, sympathy, and compassion

One character displaying empathy more, while another displays sympathy more

How the character feels about their own level of empathy

How their empathy affects them in their worldbuilding

Do proper research if you’ve decided you want a character with a level of empathy

To be continued, Hopefully here -> [ ] [ ]

Maybe, HeavenlySoup this is a sign of me trying to come up with writing refs for heroic and empathetic characters for those with low empathy to understand, maybe you my dear love, are my guinea pig?

#writing empathy #empathy #low empathy #high empathy #empath #lack of empathy #writing #writing mental illness #writing disability #cluster b

[mischiefmanifold]

it frustrates me to no end when autistic people are talking about how allistic people refuse to accommodate autistic people and they call that a lack of empathy

like that’s compassion, possibly sympathy, but not empathy. they probably can’t empathize with the experience of being autistic and having hyperspecific needs to be met by those around them, but their behavior when approached with an autistic person’s accommodations is not a lack of empathy

#empathy #lack of empathy #low empathy #autism #autistic #autism spectrum #autism spectrum disorder #accommodations #actullyautistic #actually autistic

[asharestupid]

I hate when people say "basic human empathy" bc no?? 1 animals can have empathy as well 2 there are soooo many people who don't have empathy, some of which aren't autistic! Empathy does not make you human!! Stop making apathetic people feel like shit!!!

#scronkle #disability #autism #disabled #actually autistic #autistic people #autism spectrum #autism awareness #autistic #apathy #apathetic #low empathy autistic #low empathy #empathy #lack of empathy #disabilities

[supernovacat]

Everyone talks about lack of empathy this and hyper empathy that.

But no one talks about detached empathy, where you can understand the emotions via disassociating. Literally putting yourself in their shoes and how they react to things and applying it to the present situation.

Or mixed type, where you can understand that a person is feeling something, but where the response doesn't seem logical from your perspective, creating a lot of cognitive dissonance.

Or for AuADHD the special type, where your object permanence kicks in, so even if you do feel empathy in the moment, if it's not present it no longer exists. Leading to doing insensitive things, because the emotions have been forgotten.

I'm mostly detached type, and no one talks about it, or how to deal with it.

#autism #auadhd #adhd #empathy #hyper empathy #lack of empathy #detatched empathy #disassociatation #object permanence

[svartikotturinn]

Why I have deemed Hbomberguy to be a monster without empathy:

If your reaction to civilians being shot dead is to immediately use it as a slanderous dunk, with no expression of empathy, you’re a sociopath.

To be clear, he has repeatedly demonstrated that he can hunker down and do the research when he wants to (see: all of his videos). Shortly after the October 7 Massacre, he said he would do that before responding. Since then he has:

deliberately taken quotes and other info out of context

retweeted bullshit takes that only sound smart about international law

flagrantly dismissed any attempts by anyone to reason with him about the ‘arguments’ he was platforming

and at one point claimed that a woman who wants her fallen long-time partner’s sperm to make a child with him (you know, the way people usually do with people they love) is macabre cringe comedy (and never responding to those who think it’s ‘ethnonationalism’ like what the fuck).

But this? This is a new low, even for him.

So heads up, @theabigailthorn: this lack of empathy will eventually reach you.

#Hbomberguy #Abigail Thorn #lack of empathy #sociopath #Israel #Gaza

[mynameis-a]

trying to comfort someone when you have little to no empathy is so.. awkward.

like- someones venting to me about something and all i can think to say is “oh wow that. really sucks, man. sorry.”

i’m just nervously patting their shoulder and having no clue what to do

#this is why i didnt respond to that ask of yours shark anon #i just had no idea what to say #very sorry #♡⊱a talks #empathy #low empathy #no empathy #lack of empathy

[crystalsenergy]

The syndrome of indifferent thinking, of simplifying others' difficulties; Know-it-all

In the midst of so much difficulty in connection, empathy, and respectful communication – which I see as one of the biggest challenges we face on social media – it's important to talk about and reflect on this.

It's common to hear (or feel) these voices echoing in social media:

'They don't do it because they don't want to.' 'Just do this.' 'They haven't done it because they haven't wanted to.' 'It's laziness, they don't want to change.' 'It's victimization, it's just X, Y, Z thing.'

It's not always victimization; a lot of times there are indeed difficulties and pain behind that demand.

It's not drama; it's a desire to express what's inside. It's not whining; it's not fussiness; it's not laziness.

Our energy is our energy. Our story is personal, unique, and instead of forcing the other's future or their best choice with aggression and arrogance, deal with the matter that impacts that individual in front of you with love, patience, and empathy.

By the way, that person is not in front of you for no reason. Perhaps it's precisely to make you notice your emotional rigidity and insensitivity to others and the diversity of realities.

The life of others is not lived based on your journey (which may not have been as emotionally/mentally heavy), but rather on their journey.

If this person is accustomed to a past of pain, imposition, fears, and limiting beliefs, who are we to force a completely opposite path from one moment to the next? And, being extremely sincere, are we really different from others in HAVING DIFFICULTIES?!

Once we've been led or have led ourselves down the wrong paths, we need to leave that path. But there's no teleportation on this path. So, if we're 200 kilometers away from the starting point, we'll have to make the journey back.

On the way back, we revisit the steps we took, feeling the pain, which is painful but essential. We'll return to the starting point to then move on to path B, which, in the end, was best for us. We don't teleport from one reality to another. Life is what it is.

Those in pain have, in their past and life journey, a reason to be in pain. There's a reason to think negatively and feel bad.

Respect that. Reflect more on your reactions of insensitivity and indifference to others' DIFFICULTIES.

Don't try to plant flowers in a soil that needs healing first. The healing of the soil comes before planting the flower, even though flowers are good and perhaps even the ultimate goal.

Not everyone moves at the same speed as you.

Not everyone has the same life and past as you.

Some are much more familiar with pain, and that's why they feel fear and are more avoidant; they need to try more and more. And that's okay.

Some are much more familiar with imposition, conservatism, which is why they are afraid to fly, to break free, to try something new, and that's why they need more time to leave their cages or, if already free, to finally fly.

Some have much more negative experiences with trust, which is why they shy away from help.

Some are much more familiar with trauma, which is why they continue to live in repetitive patterns due to guilt, distortions of reality, and they also need more time.

Exercise patience and empathy. If you're unwilling to do so, it's important to recognize that the person facing challenges isn't the only one with difficulties. Can you see that?

Our mental and emotional life is built on our experiences.

If the experience is not yours, don't force the other's reaction, as if we could suddenly teleport from one reality to another.

Nothing that hurts is made up.

Don't act as if you were a superhuman being of reason or ready to live, and others are weak in action or attitude.

Practice empathy, and you will see it change - within you.

#empathy #self improvement #self reflection #lack of empathy #social media problems #writing #my writing #writers on tumblr #writings #crystalsenergy

[furiousgoldfish]

‘you’re only pretending for the attention’ WHAT ATTENTION? Do you think you insulting me is the attention I WANT? Do you think I would ever get any other attention for this? What fucking attention am I getting?! Stop LYING.

#invalidation #victim shaming #victim blaming #lack of empathy #insulting victims so they don't need to take accountability #insulting victims to cover up for lack of empathy #victims don't get attention for being abused #we get shamed invalidated told its our own fault #like hell we'd go thru the trouble of faking something just to be kicked down #stupid lies

[churchy4rd0men]

I've always struggled with empathy but I've usually been able to mask and pretend but I just can't be bothered anymore. Why should I have to pretend to feel emotions I don't.

Same with compassion and sympathy. I've always had difficulty with my relationship with my own emotions. I don't really feel them deeply. But then to be expected to care about other people and their emotions. It's fucking draining. I don't care. I really don't give two shits. It doesn't affect me or my life and comfortability so why should I have to act like I care when I really dont

#mental health #rant post #lack of empathy #apathy #lack of sympathy #szpd #a tommy original

[thundersyst3m]

Bro one of my struggles is: at what point not caring about others become lack of empathy?

For example: I don't get upset for days anymore when I lose a friend anymore, does that make me mature, traumatized or lacking empathy?

I know I shouldn't put others needs above mine, but how much i should care for others needs? How much of It is healthy??

If i don't feel immense pain anymore by the thought of losing my friends, am i losing my empathy??

#empathy #autism #question mark #lack of empathy

[vizthedatum]

You know what I hate?

Me: *shares something vulnerable*

Them: “oh but I’ve also been through that and it's not so bad”/“I’ve been through worse”

—

Like no, I’m not sharing stuff with you to play the struggle Olympics… I’m sharing with you to explain my reactions and feelings. I expect listening and understanding instead of self-serving defensiveness.

#healing #trauma #neurodivergence #struggles #prose #struggle Olympics #being vulnerable #empathy #friendship #parallel sharing is different and ok #lack of empathy

[mischiefmanifold]

what empathy is

putting yourself in other people’s shoes (understanding where they’re coming from)

feeling other people’s emotions

connecting to someone else’s problems because you have experienced the same thing or something similar

what empathy is NOT

feeling bad/sorry for someone

pity

being kind to others

comforting others

physically helping someone

feeling emotions

#empathy #low empathy #lack of empathy #sympathy #compassion #kindness #definitions