#labels are for you not for other people

[elysianmadness]

"Lesbian means exclusive attraction to women!"

"No, it means non-men exclusively attracted to non-men!"

"It actually means queer attraction to women!"

"Lesbian means women and nonbinary people being exclusively attracted to other women and nonbinary people!"

Lesbian is a multifaceted label that can describe many different experiences. There is no one perfect definition of lesbian that will encompass the entire diverse experiences that lesbians can have.

I'm personally a genderqueer woman who's exclusively attracted to other women, but the lesbian next to me might be a transmasc lesbian who loves all genders except for men. And the lesbian next to them might be a bigender lesbian who's both a girl and a boy, who's exclusively attracted to women. Our experiences can all be described by the term lesbian if that's how we wish to describe it, but we might define it differently based on our own experiences. And guess what?

None of our definitions are wrong, but none of our definitions will encompass every other lesbian's experiences. A word can have multiple definitions without any of the definitions being wrong. And those definitions can be very vague or very specific. Labels are made to fit us- we aren't made to fit labels.

People who may have a different experience with the lesbian label are not your enemies. People in lesbian spaces who aren't exactly like you are not your enemies. The problem comes when you try to force one singular definition on every single lesbian. THAT is harmful. Sending death threats to other lesbians because they don't have the same experience as you is harmful. Not another lesbian having a different experience from you.

#i'm tired of seeing this ridiculous argument online #if you're obsessed with giving every label one rigid definition then fuck you #lgbt+ identities do not always neatly fit into boxes #people seem to understand this with most other identities. i think i can guess why y'all are so rigid about lesbians (it's misogyny) #venus.txt #lesbian #trans lesbian #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #multigender lesbian #bigender lesbian #transmasc lesbian #male lesbian #butch lesbian #he/him lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #genderfluid lesbian

[cardentist]

I love yuri memes, but at this point it feels like half the time the joke is just "romance between queer men is shallow and meaningless," and I'm being expected to laugh at it when I'm the butt of said joke

#discourse #no actually #you Can't replace 'yaoi' with 'men who love men' and have it read the same #one is a genre that's well known for being fetishistic and often times in poor quality #(which doesn't make everything that falls under that label meaningless but Does justify it's place in pop culture) #the other is gay people #I hope this helps

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[intotheelliwoods]

Little PSA

#no #seriously #its none of my business what kind of art other people make #and I am not going to hunt you for sport or harass or police or block you for whatever you like to do #this goes for tcest #proship stuff #whatever other labels you guys have?? #I dont know them all but seriously. I dont care #long as you guys tag your stuff properly and dont interpret my stuff as something it is not then by all means enjoy yourself #and kudos to you for being brave enough to share your individual and unique stories #if you unfollow me and slap a label on me or whatever after this post #by all means go for it #but then can you return back to twitter please? #anyways enjoy the fma meme redraw

[alevens]

zolu is maybe one of the easiest ships i've ever liked. they're dating, except when they're not, they're best friends even when they're kissing and they're still captain and first mate when they aren't. they hold hands, they hug. they have sex. they don't.

Luffy can hold Zoro's katanas and Zoro can hold Luffy's strawhat and no one bats an eye. one says "You're so cool!" and the other says "You're strong" and it's just another way to say "I see you, this is why I follow you/this is why I trust you". it's not seeing each other for a long time and still knowing how the other's steps sound like against wood and sand. the captain runs and the first mate follows. it's always "Zoro and the others" and "Where's Luffy?"

if they're just friends, if they're something more, if they don't have a label for it, at its core, it's just about how they get each other. they understand how the other's mind works. however you view them, it doesn't erase they fact that they love each other in a way they don't love other people.

#zolu #on why i love zolu #seeing the hate its gotten on its own tag #i figured i'd put it on my two cents #i am aroace and i do hc Luffy as aroace #the same for Zoro if i'm honest #but the thing about this hc is that not only it isn't canon #but is an actual spectrum #what really made me pause was that the argument was that zolu was an “icky” ship bc of how they viewed Luffy as aroace #i would have prefered they just said they hate the ship #it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes #but it was how they seemed to view aromatic/asexual people that fucked me up #both orientations are spectrums #the way i see it and experience it isn't the same other people do #giving this label and then saying it only woks on one way is disrespectful to the many people that fall under this umbrella #it isn't as simple as saying “aromantic folks can't experience love” and “yeah ace folks all find sex disgusting” #everyone is different everyone has different views and it's about finding what fits *you* personally! #sorry for the rant on tags i just wanted to get it off my chest #i've seen more people explain it better and break it down more coherently #and i'm so so glad to see so many big brained people ready to communicate on why that take just wasn't it #one piece

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them

#caique posts #inspired by a post a trans guy made asking if it was okay for him to keep identifying as a lesbian even though he’s now a man #and all the comments telling him no because lesbians can’t be men #and also all the other posts of people asking if they’re ''allowed'' to use certain labels #why do you need permission? #who are you even asking permission from? #we’re not cops #do whatever you want forvever #also inspired by an article in a zine in the 80s/90s of two FtMs in a T4T relationship #one of them described the relationship as being between a butch and his sissy boy #i cannot ever imagine anyone calling themselves that nowadays #because of ''only lesbians can be butches'' and ''sissy is offensive'' discourse #i’m sure there are people out there who would want to describe their relationship like that but don’t feel they’re ''allowed'' to #anyway lots of baby queers are tying themselves in knots trying to figure themselves out #and they’re more concerned with using the Correct™ label instead of the one they feel most comfortable with #yeah i just don’t like it #knowing you’re queer should be a liberating feeling #instead of something anxiety-inducing because you’re worried if you’re using labels wrong

[knifearo]

daily gentle reminder that the words we use to describe ourselves are labels. they're not immutable states of being, they're not all-encompassing, they're not permanent, they're not universal; labels are just words that we use to indicate something about our experience that we find important enough to communicate to others. if your experience with attraction is significantly different enough from a typical allo experience then aspec labels are there for you to use as long as you want them; and conversely, what aspec labels communicate is just that someone's experience is aligned enough with what we describe as aromanticism/asexuality to warrant telling people about it. you never need a label, you never need to keep a label, you never need to justify a label, and you never need to use a label for anything besides what you want it for. it's not a contract. it's an adjective that you can choose to use or not to use. all it needs to do is be useful for you. 💚🖤

#literally think about label makers. you're not printing out a cute little thing that says 'yarn' to put on your drawer #because that drawer is like. the universe's one true place to store yarn. #nah. that drawer just has yarn in it rn. and it's useful to you/maybe to other people to know that there's yarn in there. #might be something else later. might be more than yarn later. but like. that's not what the label is about. it's just communicating smth. #saw a post once that made a point about labels being like little signposts that you put out and! yeah! #labels are like pride flags or pronoun pins or fuckin. bumper stickers. they're just a way of saying something about yourself. #and you can use them however the fuck you want frankly #talking #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #aro positivity #aspec #asexual #ace positivity #asexuality #ace spectrum

[biblically-accurate-soup]

just saw a dogshit post and i’m not gonna get into it on op’s post because i value both their sanity and mine but come on guys. are we really trying to gatekeep who uses the term qpr? are we REALLY reinventing concepts of amatanormativity with a few steps? are we ACTUALLY ON GOD trying to make a clear definition of what a qpr is? a qpr is whatever the people in the qpr want it to be. fuck’s sake

#aromantic #qpr #queerplatonic #becoming the very thing you swore to destroy #other people’s labels and relationships are not your business. how about that.

[corvidcaeneus]

i don’t know who needs to hear this today but moving away from a binary trans label and becoming more comfortable with things typically associated with your gender assigned at birth is not detransitioning. you were not wrong. you were not lying. you are not less trans. you are valid, and you are loved.

#As someone who over the years moved from a solid ‘trans man’ label to a genderfluid enby #this is a message I wish more people would have told me #the self is not infallible #you are not alone #you are just as trans as any other trans person #trans #enby #transgender #nonbinary #genderfluid #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq positivity #genderqueer #agender #polygender #mogai gender #trans positivity #i love you all

[aterfish]

Being ace is an opposite of fuck around and find out:

Fuck nobody and never know for sure

#never knowing is actually a very important part #bc you learn that you dont care and you dont wait for that ✨special someone✨ #if something changes: cool #if nothing changes: cool #i dont need to be sure to be okay with my sexuality #and i dont need proof for others if i want to use one label or another #peace and love on planet earth #humans have too short lives for random people telling them they can't live their life how they want #asexual #asexuality #aroace #ater babbling at 2 am #hello new followers time to disappoint you 💖 #also im sex repulsed. but if you are not? then fuck and never know for sure ✨ #its literally 2am i really should stop and think before posting something. but dis a problem for a future fish #Right now fish wants to post their stupid post

[charmac]

Unspoken tension ahead of Charlie Work, a wound left open in Family Fight

The Production Order (the order in which the episodes are written) always seems of some value to me in Sunny, but 10 I find especially substantial. With half of the scripts of the season written by RCG, 4 are back-to-back (with their 5th one, Psycho Pete, being 2nd in order).

The run begins after The Gang Spies like U.S. Going off that into Charlie Work, as opposed to into that off Charlie Work, paints a very different narrative for the timeline.

We leave the reveal that Mac and Dennis are jerking off together into an episode that starts with high tension between Mac and Dennis. Dennis is frustrated that Mac isn't being direct, won't look him in the eyes, he's avoidant, timid. That's interesting, because Mac isn't usually any of those things, he's direct and abrupt and loud. Off 9, fully establishing Mac is gay, juxtaposing his closeted behaviour to Country Mac's openness, 10 focuses hard on the fact that Mac's confidence is continually battered as he refuses to step out of the closet. The Gang is tired of it, but Dennis is frustrated. His words maybe cut even deeper than the scratch, "Come to me like a man. Talk about being tough all the time, can't even look me in the eyes."

We leave CW and go into Family Fight, written right after, also by RCG. This episode has big focus on Dennis' obsession with public perception of himself, and the Gang. Though he can initially handle masking his demeanor, his tone of voice, what he can't mask are his words. He's smiling, he's 'joking', but there's deep truth in what he’s saying. He's frustrated, though his frustration in the moment is intended for Frank, Mac feels it directed at him. There's a fresh wound between them, because Mac fully understands what his feelings for Dennis are now, and that’s irreparably shifted their dynamic.

Misses the Boat is the last RCG-written episode of the season. From Charlie Work, where we’re kinda first faced with the fact that Mac is now overly-concerned with how Dennis perceives him, to Family Fight, where Dennis' masks slip completely and he has a public breakdown, they both veer hard to straighten themselves. Mac, very quite literally, goes straight, and Dennis resolves that he needs to cut ties to get back to being ‘cool’, he’s going to be a cool guy who has a cool car and hangs out with a babe and is cool.

But what we learn in Misses the Boat is that how they think the world views them, or should view them based on how they believe they present, isn’t who they are. They can’t actually function well in these situations. Dennis, untethered, somehow can’t control his rage as well as he can when he *is tethered* to the Gang. Mac, well, he isn’t straight, and he realises pretending to be into women is miserable.

Dennis gives him the offer: Do you want to go back? (To not addressing it, to a standstill.) And Mac quickly, excitedly takes it. Looping back to where they are in Charlie Work, back to where they settle for too long: Mac, absorbed in himself, clawing for approval from Dennis, and Dennis lashing out, tired of telling Mac what to do.

And I think this is why I love 10 more than anything, it finally addresses the issue the audience knows. With Charlie, Dee, and Frank, too. They’re going nowhere, spiraling in circles because they refuse to address the roots of their issues, and Misses the Boat makes them, themselves, fully aware of that fact. They’re miserable together, but they’re worse off alone. And they go into 11 and beyond knowing this, and all kind of resenting each other for it, until 14. Where they acknowledge it again, and decide they’re going to keep playing the game even though it’s set.

#META UNDER THE CUT!! #this is not just mac angst people #but it can be if you dont care about meta ig #iasip #macdennis #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #sunny 10 #charlie work #the gang goes on family fight #the meta went way deeper than i was expecting but im happy with it #3am spiralling or something or other #waited until today to reread it cos yk #and i stand by it #sunny meta #i hate the idea of dividing sunny into 'new sunny' and 'old sunny' #i think theres a lot more to it based on all the dynamic shifts that happen #theres very clear stages that are more divided like #1-4. 5-7. 8-10. 11-14. 14-present #and you could probably label them in a fun way too

[astraltrickster]

I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.

What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:

1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or

2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,

Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.

As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.

It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.

And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.

What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".

As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.

So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.

#disability #serious tag #and yes it is applicable to issues other than disability #if youre seeing parallels to this in how same-sex marriage passing nationwide in the us #was the beginning of a big downswing in support for queer rights because what ELSE could these entitled freaks POSSIBLY want #you are correct! they are VERY closely related! not quite identical because it wasnt almost equally intense within the community as outside #but i wouldnt call you wrong if you wanted to use the same term! #speaking of bringing back the high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy - it is NOT lost on me #just how many people dont take me seriously as a Real Autist because im usually ''well-spoken'' #therefore i CLEARLY cant have support needs that are hard to aestheticize right??? #as if that kind of misconception isnt EXACTLY WHY we moved away from functioning labels in favor of discussing support needs

[uncanny-tranny]

At some point, I think people have to contend with the fact that misgendering isn't a completely a universally agreed upon concept in the specific sense that misgendering can be very personal.

What may be misgendering to you will not be to other trans people - even if they have the same gender as you. You may be misgendered if somebody used the wrong label to describe you (e.g., somebody calling you "girl," even if it is slang), but that does not mean that that will apply to everybody.

It's important to recognize this because so often, people will say things like, "you can't use this label/phrase/term for any trans person who is a [gender]! And if any trans person who is a [gender] uses those labels/phrases/terms, they're wrong and bad!" and that is simply too broad a generalization.

It's fine to be uncomfortable with certain things like this. It is fine if you don't want to be misgendered, and indeed, I share in that sentiment. However, that does not mean that your comforts and discomforts apply to all trans people or all trans people who share your gender. There's a difference in that, I think.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #dysphoria tw #some other trans men do /not/ feel misgendered by being called/labeled as a lesbian/woman/wife and i do! neither of us are bad for that! #some trans women are misgendered by being called 'straight' if they like men! some trans women are misgendered by being called 'gay'... #...when they are attracted to men and neither of those women are bad people/bad women for their desires and who they are #what you do is listen to individuals and what they feel misgenders them and work with them without judging or being shitty to them #do you have to 'get it'? no! but you don't have to be awful about it either #and if it bothers you /so/ much then do both of you a favour and walk away

[jonnywaistcoat]

Are there any personality typology theories that you are less sceptical of?

Honestly, no. It's fun and all, to create rubrics and classifications and to try and schematise the vast and messy contradictions of humanity, but to actually take that sort of thing seriously is at best a bit foolish and at worst profoundly dangerous.

Our minds are bizarre and twisted mazes of electricity and flesh, constantly growing and breaking in a thousand new ways. And you tell me you can group them into tidy little categories?

Beyond that, the methodologies are all fundamentally flawed: self-reporting at best gives a picture of a person's self-image; and anyone else trying to judge is either assessing their own projections and experiences laid on a stranger or ticking arbitrary checkboxes that tell you nothing.

You can be in therapy for years and never reach anything approaching the "truth" of how your specific mind works and why, yet someone wants to tell you there's a neat typology of personalities that's good for more than a dinner party chuckle? Nah, mate - they're either trying to sell you some bullshit, or they've already been sold it themselves.

#didnt realise i had such strong feelings on this until i started to type #i think its the issue i have with a lot of labels #they can be personally useful if they you help conceive of yourself #or so you can set the expectations and assumptions of others #but trying to organise other people in that way always bothers me

[bumblingbee1]

Actually no, I will not shut up about I find the lesbian label to be more freeing and euphoric for me than any other label. Even than going unlabeled!

#bee bumbles #this is directed towards myself #sometimes i feel i annoy people when going 'LESBIAN LESBIAN LESBIAN' #but you know what? fuck that :D #i've never felt such euphoria from any other label before #not even strictly aroace #so imma be loud and obnoxious about it here :D #LET'S GO LESBIANS!!! #lesbian #lesbian pride