#knowing i'm not even going to stay there more than 3 months hopefully

[nataliesfirefly]

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 3

a/n: omg thanks again for all the love on the last two parts! i'm probably going to make a masterlist to make all the parts more accessible <3 i feel so special when i see y'all's comments so don't be afraid to share your thoughts! this chapter is a little shorter but only because that's just how the events are playing out! btw, this one starts out with a flashback, it can be a lil confusing hehe but anyways enjoy! (also none of these are proofread LMAO so ignore mistakes)

part 1, part 2, part 4

word count: 3.0k words

warnings: ANGSTTT, language, drugs, alcohol, smoking

It was finally time to depart from your first summer at Saltburn. School was going to start in a week, and you wanted to spend some time relaxing at home before the chaos of your penultimate year in secondary school. 

The summer had been a wild yet fun time. You had so much freedom to do whatever you pleased, and you didn’t really know how to spend your time, since you were usually so focused on your academics.

You warmed up to the Catton family quite a lot. You understood you didn’t really fit in, but it was nice to pretend you did. Elspeth had even gifted you one of her old necklaces that probably would have paid for a car if you had sold it.

You and Venetia spent countless hours together; by the poolside, in your rooms, doing each other's nails or makeup, and playing tennis. Although she was a few years older than you, she was like the sister you never had.

As for Felix, your friendship only grew. You were thankful for him, for being so kind to you and welcoming you into a world you had never known before.

And Farleigh. Your relationship with him was… complicated. One moment, you would hurl stupid and immature insults at each other, and the next, you would be having a peaceful conversation. But the latter usually only occured when you were alone with him, which didn’t happen often. He let his guard down when he wasn’t around his family, which you found strange, but you never questioned it.

You were going to miss this place. You had to return to your normal, everyday life as a student with a normal house and normal parents. 

“We’re going to miss you dearly, love. We hope you visit again next year,” Elspeth remarked as you all sat around the breakfast table on the patio.

“Yeah. Felix, invite her again,” Venetia nudged her brother as she whispered loudly. Felix grinned and looked at you from across the table.

“So, what’s been your favorite part about your stay?” Elspeth questioned, leaning forward with curiosity.

“Honestly, I can’t even pick. It’s all been amazing. Really.” You said. You meant every single word. But you could’ve actually picked a favorite part, you just didn’t want to admit what, or who it was.

A while later, you were standing at the large front doors with your packed bags in your hands. 

Venetia embraced you tightly and you dropped your bags so you could hug her back. “See you next year, hopefully,” She said with a smile after releasing you.

“Yeah. See you.” You nodded and then looked over to Felix who was now also coming in for a hug.

“Bye, mate. I’ll see you at school, alright?” He patted your back as he pulled away and you smiled with a nod. 

Farleigh stood farther away, watching the goodbyes at a distance. You stared him down, trying to will him to come over. 

“Bye.” He simply said, expressionless. “Bye, Farleigh,” You smiled softly at him. You weren’t sure when the next time you would see him would be. He blinked at you and held your gaze before you turned away as Duncan was opening the doors for you. 

“Your cab is waiting outside the gates, miss,” He informed you. You nodded and picked up your bags.

~~~

2 YEARS LATER

It was your first evening at Oxford. You had just arrived and gotten most of your things unpacked, and then you and Felix were headed to the dining hall.

You remembered a few months ago when Felix told you Farleigh would be going to Oxford as well. You didn’t really know what you thought about this. Part of you was interested in seeing him in a different setting, not just at Saltburn during your summer holiday. Was he nicer to people at school? Did he even care about schoolwork?

“I told Farleigh to sit with us,” Felix mentioned as you walked next to him. You nodded. “Okay. How has he been?” You asked. You knew better than to care about him, since the feeling was clearly unrequited. You don’t think he would care if you died a sudden death.

But it was harmless, and only in a friendship kind of way. Or whatever complicated relationship you two had. 

“Good, I think,” Felix said. “You know, his mom went to Oxford. In a way, he’ll be able to connect with her. By being here, I mean.” He explained. You could tell it was his attempt at being philosophical. You just nodded and pretended to follow what he was saying.

You both walked into the large dining hall, mini lamps placed on top of the long tables to light the dim, high-ceilinged room.

You found some empty seats and sat down. A few minutes later, Felix had already spotted Farleigh and was waving for him to come over. You followed Felix’s line of sight and saw  Farleigh’s familiar coiled hair, and it seemed that maybe he had let it grow a bit longer than usual.

He was actually smiling for once, and it was such a rare sight you had to blink to make sure you weren’t hallucinating.

“Hey,” He grinned as he took the seat on the other side of you, pulling it closer to the table.

You had seen Farleigh earlier this month when you were still at Saltburn, but for some reason, he looked different. Like he grew up, or something. You couldn’t put your finger on what had changed, though.

Sure, he had recently turned 18, shortly before you did. But the whole aura radiating from Farleigh felt different and more mature. Or maybe it was the new designer clothes you had noticed, or the new necklaces and rings he was sporting. 

“Hi,” You smiled. You realized you must have been staring, and you quickly glanced away to survey the rest of the students filing into the hall.

You spaced out during the small talk and stared into space, pondering how your first day would go tomorrow.

“Are you going to the party tonight?” Felix nudged you. You glanced up. “Uhh… What party?” You hated seeming clueless, but when it came to this kind of thing, you were.

“You know, to welcome all the first years. Us.” He nodded as if to gesture to everyone else.

“Oh. Right. I don’t know, I want to get some good sleep before tomorrow.” You replied while inspecting your nails and picking away at them. 

That statement was half true, half not. You did want to get some well-needed rest, but you were also just terrified of parties and large social gatherings. You could be awkward sometimes, and you were scared of what a real college party would include. Drugs, alcohol… It made you uncomfortable to think about.

“C’mon, please? For me?” Felix gave you the puppy eyes and you sighed. “It’ll be fun,” He reassured you. You looked over to Farleigh. “Are you going?” You asked him.

He looked offended by your question. “Duh,” He answered. You didn’t know why it mattered if he was going or not.

“Ughhh, fine.” You rolled your eyes and facepalmed. Felix grinned brightly. “Yesss,” He whispered.

You couldn’t deny that you were having a good time at the party. You made a few new friends and you were gaining some confidence.

The only problem was that Felix promised you he would stay with you the whole time, since he knew how weary you were with even going in the first place.

And where was he? Nowhere to be seen. You guessed he had run off with some girl already. Hell, within the first ten minutes of you three entering the function, about four girls were already up on him, desperately flirting and twirling their hair.

You were standing in a dark corner when you saw Farleigh approaching you. He had a glass bottle of beer in each of his hands.

“Hey, you want one?” He offered you one of the beers. You were bored out of your mind, so you shrugged and took it. The glass felt nice and cold against your hand.

“Have you seen Felix?” Your eyes darted around nervously. Farleigh shook his head. “Nope. Saw him leaving with some red-head chick, though.” He raised his eyebrows up and down which made you laugh.

He moved to stand next to you against the wall, observing the neon-lit dance floor. “Are you enjoying yourself?” He peered down at you.

You shrugged. “I guess? I’d rather be inside sleeping, though.” He groaned. “You’re so boring. You know why you’re not having fun, right?” He leaned down slightly. You shook your head. “No, enlighten me.”

“You’re not high enough,” He said, a smirk forming on his face. “Farleigh. I’m not gonna get high with you.” You scoffed and took a swig of your beer, wincing a bit at the taste.

“Some guy was giving out joints. It’s weed,” He explained, drawing a small plastic bag of rolled joints out of his pocket.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna just smoke weed from some random guy.” You blew a strand of hair out of your face.

“They’re legit, I swear.” He leaned down to your height and whispered, “I already tried one.” 

You shook your head again. “I don’t smoke, you know that.” He stood up straight.

“Just try it. Look, I’m not dead yet. See?” He twirled around and you giggled. “C’mon, we can go out here.” He nodded to the side door.

You just wanted him to stop bothering you, so you let out a sigh. “Okay, fine. Let’s go.” He excitedly spun on his heel and led you both over to the door before holding it open for you.

You stepped into the warm and dense air of the night, glancing around nervously like you might get caught by someone. But who are you kidding, pretty much everyone here smokes and probably does worse.

“Okay. I’ll light it for you. Do you wanna share it?” He asked, pulling out his lighter and flicking it on.

“Yeah.” You didn’t want the commitment of having it all to yourself. He lit the joint and you watched him take a hit. He made eye contact with you the whole time. It seemed simple enough— a short inhale and then exhale.

“You try,” He handed you the joint and you eyed it suspiciously before putting it to your lips. You took maybe too long of a hit and immediately began coughing, smoke billowing out of your mouth. 

“Woah, easy..”  Farleigh chuckled at your reaction and you felt his hand on the small of your back as you tried to catch your breath.

“You make it look so easy,” You cleared your throat and looked up at him with watery eyes. He smiled smugly at your words.

“Just takes practice,” He told you casually. “Smoking weed is something I’d rather not practice.” Farleigh laughed at your remark and took the joint to take another hit.

“Do you like Felix?” The question came out of the blue and you turned to him.

“What do you mean…?” You lifted an eyebrow as he passed the joint to you. He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms.

“Like, do you actually enjoy your friendship with him?” He asked. You actually considered the question for a long moment.

“Well, he’s like… the only close friend I have,” You said hesitantly. “I continue to be friends with him because I don’t have a reason not to,” You explained before taking a small hit from the joint.

“And you like the wealth and title that comes with him, yeah?” Farleigh’s words hung in the silence. You knew he was being too nice. It was too good to be true.

“Yeah, I like the summers at Saltburn, but that’s not the reason why I’m friends with him.” Or was it? No. You refused to let yourself get gaslighted by Farleigh. But you began to question your reasoning when you said it out loud.

“I mean, what else does he have to offer?” Farleigh asked as you exhaled the smoke. Why was he suddenly turning against Felix? You thought Farleigh loved Felix. Maybe you had it all wrong.

“He’s nice to me,” You flashed him a glare and he stared back at you, drilling his gaze into yours. “I’m nice to you.” He said in a harsher tone.

“When you want to be,” You shot back, pressing the joint to your lips again, staring out into the darkness.

“What do you have against Felix, anyway?” You broke the short moment of silence and turned to face him.

“Nothing. Forget I ever said anything,” He raised his arms up as if to defend himself. “No, you can’t say weird shit like that and then expect me not to question it,” You handed the joint back to him and headed for the door to go back in. You planned on drinking as much alcohol as possible to show him that you don’t need him to teach you how to have fun.

“Do you even know how to get back to your dorm?” He asked, his brows furrowed. “What do you care?” You scowled at him before going back inside. 

Sooner or later, you had downed your whole bottle of beer and then you were doing shots with some random group of girls. You didn’t remember the rest of that night, but at least you ended up in your bed by the morning, even if you had a horrible hangover.

~~~

Sunlight creeps through the window and knocks impatiently on your eyelids. You groan and sit up, opening your eyes to the bright sunrise shining through your curtains,

Memories of yesterday flood back to you. Your drama with Felix, the car ride and visit to your parents with Farleigh, and telling Venetia all about it when you got back.

Felix didn’t get back from London until late last night, so you were waiting to talk to him today.

You don’t want problems between the two of you, but sometimes he’s just so ignorant and out of touch. 

A little while after breakfast, you make your way to Felix’s room. He seemed hungover during breakfast, so you wonder if this is going to turn out well.

You hesitate before knocking. “Come in,” He calls. You twist the doorknob and carefully enter. His expression softens slightly at the sight of you. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed with a book in his hands.

“Hey. Can we talk?” You ask quietly. He nods, setting the book down.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was in a mood, and I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” Felix starts before you can.

“Okay. But you know why I was mad, right?” You don’t want it to be that easy for him.

You can see the gears turning in his head. “Erm… because I couldn’t give you a ride?” He looks up at you, and you can’t tell if he’s playing dumb or not.

“No, it wasn’t just that. It’s the principle of it, Felix.” You shake your head. “The principle of what?” He asks, standing up.

“It just seems a lot like you care more about your popularity than you care about your best friend,” You explain, your voice shaking a bit. You don’t really like confrontation.

“No, that’s not true. I just-“

“Yes, it is. Ever since we got to Oxford. It’s always been this way. Leaving me alone at parties to go fuck some random girl, or multiple, for that matter.” Your voice is raised now and you can feel the anger rushing through your veins. All the things you’ve always wanted to say, but couldn’t.

“You know what, you should be thankful I even became your friend. Look what I’ve given you.” He gestures to what you’re assuming is the estate as a whole.

You scoff and laugh at his statement. “What you’ve given me? Are you kidding?! I’m not some stray animal off the street, Felix. I’m not homeless. I have parents. I have a home.” You feel tears welling up in your eyes already and that lump in your throat starting to form.

“Then why are you here?” This is the first time you’ve ever heard Felix really raise his voice. You both freeze in the silence and let his words hang in the air.

“You want me to leave? I can leave,” The tears are now falling down your cheeks as you blink. “No, wait-“

But it’s too late. You’re already storming out of his room and back to yours, which is just down the hall.

You see Farleigh standing near the end of the hallway, trying to eavesdrop. He notices your tears and is immediately heading over to you.

You try to get into your room and lock the door before Farleigh can get to you, but you fail. 

He guides you into your room, his hand pressed against your back firmly before closing the door with his free hand.

He embraces you in a gentle yet tight hug as you continue to sob. He rests his chin on your head and smooths some of your hair out. He holds you and lets you cry.

Farleigh was right about him. Felix thought he saved you from a horrible life. In reality, you would be fine without him. He was just a simple addition to your life.

You hardly realize the intimate moment that you’re in with Farleigh right now until your sobbing subsides.

You push away from him slightly, hands on his chest as you gaze up at him. You sniffle. “I got stuff on your shirt,” You laugh weakly and point at the wet spot on his shirt.

“It’s okay.” His arms return to his side and you find yourself missing the comfort of his arms around you and embracing you.

“Did you hear what he said?” You ask, wiping your eyes and sniffing again.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” He nods. “Are you going to say I told you so?” You smile softly as you wipe the rest of your tears away.

“Do you want me to say I told you so?” He grins down at you, his brown eyes bright with amusement. You shake your head. “No way.” You both laugh, and you think you’ll be okay.

#farleigh saltburn #farleigh start x reader #saltburn #farleigh start #farleigh x you #farleigh x reader

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Fruit: Something To Look Forward to in 2024 ❄🎁🎊

Sup y'all, I'm finally back again! I have not been as active on this blog as I've wanted to be these past two months, but hopefully that will change a little bit as the year settles to a close for winter.

I'm also excited to use my Tarotwave deck which just arrived in the mail this past week. I'm grateful to have backed it on Kickstarter! I know this is gonna be one deck of cards I'll be very amped to use on this blog. It's like an early Xmas gift ^^

2023 has been a bumpy ride for many people (and yours truly), and the biggest thing most of us want to know is how our next year is going to be, and if there's anything good in store. So I made sure to focus on asking for only the most positive and beneficial things that will bless you in this reading, because I want 2024 to be exciting for you and I wanna hype you up.

Pick one of the squishable fruits below to find out a hint or two about what you have to look forward to in 2024.

1 - Strawberry 2 - Orange 3 - Banana

Pile 1: Strawberry

Queen of Cups + VI The Lovers, IX The Hermit, Eight of Wands; Trillion, Anything is Possible, Guidance

For you, pile 1, 2024 is gonna be filled with pleasant little surprises that could appear out of nowhere. The Trillion card is connected to Aquarius and talks about living by ones own truth, but the zodiac is also connected to Uranian forces, helping us receive out-of-the-box insights to whatever challenge we're facing.

I think this pile has spent a great amount of time working on themselves. I don't know if you relate to the word "shadow work" or not, but this feels like you're in the tail end of that cycle. You've grown a lot in emotional maturity over the past months, and perhaps have released some form of major karmic or generational baggage that was weighing on you emotionally. Now it's going to become easier for you to express who you are because the extra emotional burden will not be there as before.

I'm sensing a vast expansiveness to this pile as a result, a willingness to be open to life. It's a calm and steady feeling. This is "come whatever may" energy. 2024 will be a chance for you to settle into the quiet, because that's where the miracles will appear. I feel like this is a quiet that's been anticipated, more relieving than boring. This is a space of being in the flow with life and being ready for whatever comes next without mental resistance.

For some, this could be a romantic reading. I tend to think of strawberries as a rather flirtatious fruit! And we have the Lovers here too. Typically the Lovers talks about decisions, but I don't feel here like you're in a position to be making some kind of clear cut choice at the moment. This is more emphasizing on loving the feeling of love itself. This is a carefree disposition to allowing your heart to guide you when things look overwhelming on the surface.

There's no need or pressure to rush into any kind of decision even if there's an eagerness to do so. You're being encouraged to fully take time out and explore your feelings so you can create a better alignment with the type of person you desire in your life. You're allowing yourself to be curious and open minded without the unnecessary input that others may give you unsolicited. The Hermit is in an empowered position here.

I think 2024 will give you time to lean back rather than pursue, which is not the same as being avoidant. We have the eight of wands here; when the opportunity strikes, it can strike hot! But the key is that you're taking in this energy rather than chasing it. In the meanwhile, you're filling up your cup and learning how to be fulfilled with this peaceful space, and you'll find it easier to be patient when it comes to finding whatever you've been seeking.

You're learning that you have all the time you need to stay in this calm state, and that rushing with everything doesn't always speed up fate. The sense of having more time to sleep and nurture yourself will greatly benefit you when the time comes to receive this incredible spiritual insight, love, or blessings in the material world.

Pile 2: Orange

XI Justice + 2 of Cups, 4 of Cups, 5 of Swords; Single, What You Seek is Seeking You, Stories

For pile 2, the biggest keyword here is Clarity. If you've been in the fog about something for a while, that may start to clear up in 2024. Something that seemed difficult to tackle before will be greatly simplified for you. The Single card is Mercury energy and talks about beginnings in a conventional sense. So you'll look forward to starting over with something next year, perhaps from scratch, so it'll be better than before. You can deal with issues with a fresher mindset.

This is a specific message for a few, but if lately you feel like you've been involved in rumors, gossip, or some form of negativity spread through word of mouth, I see this dissolving in 2024. It will swing back around. Perhaps whoever is spreading the rumor will receive one in return. No hexing done here, but it looks like karma will put in the work to show that you or someone you know is innocent. If someone you know is gaslighting or spreading lies, they will feel the brunt of this. Any negativity sent to you will simply spin around and cancel itself out. So don't worry about other peoples' perceptions in 2024, they will undergo a big shift.

For others in this pile, you may have had some disagreements with your love or even business partner. Either one large disagreement that's been on the back burner for a while, or it's little ones that add up. It'll be different amongst you. But in 2024 these tiny issues will be more easily resolved. Things won't seem to complicated to untangle once any given situation is figured out.

Your energy is spent a lot more here on moving forward and looking for something new next year than dealing with conflicting relationships. With the four of cups, you're ready to move past whatever company or crowd is messing with your mood because you know better shit is on the way and you don't want to waste your emotional currency on anything draining or inherently unsatisfying.

You would rather move into what is right for you than deal with the drama, though I think there will be times when it circles back around and you may have to confront it again… It won't be as difficult as it was in the past, however. You're not dealing with so much confrontation in 2024, especially if you're actively prioritizing healthy relationships and practice healthy boundaries with others.

This may look to be the year where the art of setting mental boundaries is perfected. Mental boundaries means choosing what you'd rather think about than let your mind run loose. No longer trapped in the undertow of other peoples' nonsense, you're starting to get your life fully together. This will spill outwards into the outer world, and this will greatly help ease off the kind of bothersome encounters with people that may have popped up in 2023.

Some of you may identify as people pleasing, which is something that I see less of for you next year. It's almost like the vibe of seeing a kid watch a bunch of other children bully each other during recess, only for that lone kid to decide to go their own way and read a book. He might even make a new friend that way, who knows? 2024 will give you the chance to shrug certain expected worries off your back like water off of duck's feathers. Citrus is clean and refreshing. You can expect only the simplest and cleanest interactions moving forward (yes, I have Simple and Clean inside my head now, oof). It's all about keeping your eye on the prize that awaits ahead.

Pile 3: Banana

9 of Cups + XIV Temperance, XVIII The Moon, 7 of Wands, Prism, Projections, Power

Wow, so much lunar energy in pile 3's cards! I see bananas as lunar because they're shaped like crescents (and to go bananas is to be a lunatic!). Then you got two different version of moon cards on top of one another!

In this deck, the Moon has a softer and more subtle approach than the RWS. There's a greater emphasis on dreams and intuition with this card. Have you been connected to or manifesting with the lunar cycles? Or creating a dream journal to track your visions? If you've been interested in doing so, now would be a good time to look into it, as a confirmation. You're in alignment to receive!

This pile is really feeling the buzz of desires fulfilled and is pushing beautiful energy out into 2024. I'm not seeing specific desires listed here, just the overall potency of manifestation magic. This could possibly be a big year for you even. Just try not to get too carried away with the need to make 2024 into a particular kind of good year. Even if great things are lined up, allow room for the uncertainties to occur. These moments will happen to test you, and you'll need to stand your ground and be firm with what you want without your worries getting the best of you.

Pile 3, with Projections and Power? You are gonna look forward to 2024 being like a canvas for you to paint on. You can decide to paint whatever you wish, for a window of time as brief as the full moon. That's why your other three tarot cards are trying to slow you down a little bit, lol. Even if great luck is offered to you, be careful with how it factors into your life. You're being asked to have modesty, which must mean you're set to achieve or receive something very nice. But yeah, a sense of humbleness and gratitude will really help you here.

You're being reminded with the Moon that you don't have all the answers right now, and it's okay. Oftentimes the wish doesn't get granted until we lose our attachment to it or get sidetracked with life, then it's able to come in more easily. When we try to act resistant and overly arrogant with the seven of wands, it can bite back against us.

I'm also getting a message here about being humble with your blessings so to not attract unwanted attention from people. You could end up in a position where some may throw a lot of projections on you, but you will need to remind yourself of your Prism qualities. Prism is like pure spirit, it's the card of being spiritually aligned with one's self. You will be reminded that beyond good and bad fortunes, the pure spirit of self doesn't change. That is your power source.

Another thing you may look forward to are psychic upgrades. If you've been working on your psychic talent, you could receive a major boost this year. You may experience more clairsenses or messages in your dreams. These experiences and abilities will allow you to find the right time to act or wait on certain choices in your life. Your intuition is being greatly sharpened and amplified in 2024. Use this power with great care.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

#tarotblr #tarot #general reading #tarot community #pac #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a pile #pick an image #psychic readings #pick a fruit #pick a number #intutive reading #intuitive reading #intuitive #intuition #psychic #channeled message #channeled reading #collective reading #pac 2024 #oracle cards #oracle #tarotwave #vitaminseetarot #vitaminsee #tarot readings #tarot cards #tarot reading

[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch. 1

ch. 2

ch. 3

ch. 4

ch. 5

ch. 6

a/n: short first chapter 🫤 also BORING AS FOCK but the next few will be longer and better, just stick with me cw: implied depression/ptsd, dark themes, not too heavy but please don’t read if this might trigger you, angst, no smut in this chapter but there might be some later on, creds to cafekitsune for dividers, MDNI 😡

Six months ago today, your gaunt figure limped through Jackson for the first time, arms scarred and trembling, and face adorned with a vacant expression. You’ve been here for a while now.

You heard Maria say, with time, you’d come out of your shell - actually speak to the others. But, no, you still stay holed up in your decaying room, recalling what happened that day obsessively, and only ever leaving to go on patrol. Only when you absolutely have to.

God, you don’t even know if you can call this grief anymore. Seems as though you built a nest in the sorrow. Would it still be considered missing him if you desperately want to stop seeing his face whenever you close your eyes.

Fuck, don't say that. Never say that.

Promise I still love you, big brother. Promise I'd do anything to see you again.

Well, nobody really pays you any mind; you just sink into the shadows of the shitty little apartment you've been put in. And it doesn’t matter to you because the thought of getting close to people again makes you sick anyway.

Never wanna feel this pain. Never again. Fuck, just go away, please.

I'm so sorry, Soren.

You’ve waited it out for months but, at this point, you've given up hope. Feels like maybe it’s time to go be on your own. You know it’s dumb, but you haven’t got much to live for now that he’s gone.

Late night, you crawl into the comfort of misery, chaining yourself to each painful memory; you cannot leave a single shard behind. Not one.

You will carry this with you for the rest of your days.

Somewhere along the line, dark fades to light and your mind goes blank for the first time in an eternity as you get up to follow that same routine.

Today, same as yesterday, and yesterday's yesterday, and yesterday's yesterday's yesterday, etc., etc., your partner is Ellie.

Maria seems to think the two of you are acquaintances, especially since the extroverted people around your age hadn't been able to drag much more than a few words out of you, but you don’t really talk, you stay out of each other’s ways.

You struggle to keep the smile up against the pushback of your aching cheeks when you’re talking to other people. Can never let them see.

Not even for a good reason. God, it’s just such an effort to talk about. It’s better for it to just nestle in your mind, where it’s made it’s home, where it’s comfortable.

Maybe part of why you stay out of each other’s ways is because you'd inadvertently come off as a dick during your first encounter, which would've been enough to push the already closed off Ellie to not interact with you at all. You weren't actually being rude though; she's hopefully figured that out at this point. She probably just got used to the interactions between you; silence dusted with passive aggressive remarks.

But, she doesn’t say much when you freak the fuck out if a clicker comes at you in a way that brings back memories. You’re grateful, regardless of her reason for doing so.

Perhaps it's the thought of leaving that is the spur to prick your sudden violence and, now, even you can tell you're getting worse. The feeling - it ensnares you like a bear trap when you see a clicker, so you fire frantically at its head. Blood splatters all over your front and you pull at the hem of your shirt to get a better look, mumbling, "Shit..." when you see the white fabric soaked through with the clicker's blood; cold water to the face.

Among the chaos, you must have turned on your foot weirdly, because your ankle feels like a stake has been stabbed right through it with each movement and you don’t know if you can walk.

Ellie finally manages to trace the sound of the gunshot to you after calling your name in worry for the past couple of minutes, running over to you. She pulls you around and looks over your jittery body for anything to worry about - brushes a thumb over the wet material, jerking it away before you can notice; you’re hyper aware, so you always manage to anyway - and then furrows her brows at you.

“Can you stop fucking around?”

You nod apologetically,

"Sorry. Feeling a bit out of it today..."

She sighs, still clearly angry, and turns away, "Let's go. We’re done here.”

You watch her figure retreat as you mount your horse with shaky footing. The ride back is a silent one. Once you reach the gates, you get off and pat the horse’s side. It has a name; you never cared to learn it. Maybe you knew you couldn’t stick around for long.

“Come on. Why are you just standing there?"

When your eyes meet hers, you feel utterly pathetic, but you don't have much of a choice.

“Can you… find, like, a stick? A big one...”

She stays quiet for a moment, seemingly thrown off by your question, so you're quick to add,

“I would do it but... I don't know, fuck, never mind...”

Ellie raises an eyebrow at you, her line of sight flicking down to your ankle as she takes note of your awkward stance and mutters with a sigh that makes you feel small, "Pain in the ass," before shaking her head.

"Yeah, it looks pretty bad," Ellie says after she crouches down and touches the wound, eliciting a pained wince (and a farewell to your last shred of dignity) from you.

She rises to her feet and brushes herself off as you wait for more of a response.

"Stick, right? You want a stick?"

You nod with a clenched jaw. She keeps looking down at you and the constant anticipation is starting to piss you off.

"No, you gonna ask for what you really need?" she says. "And drop the whole ‘tough guy’ act?"

You chuckle dryly, turning your eyes to the floor.

"You ever considered that maybe I actually am just a tough guy?"

“Ha ha,” she states in monotone, “Think you gave away the fact that you're not when you started crying over a twisted ankle," to which you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Uh, okay, nothing you just said was true, but, sure. Sure.”

“Yeah? Come over here and say that with some heart then, tough guy.”

You manage to take a few steps before falling.

"Yeah, that’s what I thought. Gonna need to be carried back," Ellie says.

“What about the big ass stick?”

“What is i-Fuck. Listen, even if that helps, which it won’t, you’d wreck your ankle even more and everyone’d be on my ass about it. So, quit talking and get over here," she says, reaching over to lift you off the floor.

You grimace jokingly, but Ellie doesn’t pick on the humorous nature of your words, “Oh. No piggyback?”

Ellie sighs, turning and crouching in front of you before you get on.

"I swear to god, you're infuriating," she sneers. "Now put your arms around my neck."

You’re acting slightly outside the confines of your silent, gloomy self again, and pretend to strangle her, “Since you asked so nicely.”

And you laugh at your own joke as you properly wrap your arms around her neck

"I'm glad you're having a good time; at least one of us is enjoying ourselves,” she grits out but you can hear the repressed smile in her voice.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

"Good. Now shut up and enjoy the ride." Ellie says before turning her gaze back to the front.

As the two of you make your way through the fairly empty paths of Jackson, Ellie remains silent, her expression unreadable.

You keep your eyes focused on her, the small puff of air that leaves her mouth with each step, and staying quiet as your chin finds itself resting casually upon her shoulder

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Ellie finally speaks up again. Her voice is so close, the warmth of her breath and heat.

“You got them girls off your ass yet?”

“Who? The ones that are trying to... befriend me?”

“Mhm, the ones that you’re kinda friends with.”

“Yeah, they quit trying.”

"Don’t blame you… I mean, I can understand, but don’t make it too obvious.”

“I’d rather not-“

“Right, it’s just- well, if you want to be alone, fine. I… can even… make sure those assholes don’t bother you, or whatever- but, not on patrol! Don’t go wandering around on your own like that ever again. It’s dumb."

“I know, I just got caught up in the moment. Sorry.”

"Good."

A heavy silence befalls the two of you as she trudges on.

"Why are you so damn heavy?" she eventually mutters.

You lift your head off her shoulder reflexively, aware of your weight pulling her down all of a sudden,

“Sorry.”

Ellie looks over her shoulder at you, her eyebrows knitted in unexpected concern,

“Hey… I was kidding.”

“Right… I knew that…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever," she says. "Hm, look at that, we made it," gently patting your thigh before pushing the doors open. "Time to get off."

You slowly slide off her back, making sure to land on your good leg as you watch her search the area curiously in a waiting, one-footed stance.

She returns after a second, picking you up to place you on top of one of the quaint, makeshift hospital beds before she begins rummaging through the supplies. You watch her muscles flex and then, the sight of a woman you'd seen around captures your focus.

"What happened to her?" the woman asks, causing Ellie to lift her head, looking down at you.

"Twisted my ankle."

"Well, obviously," her tone is laced with sarcasm. "My question was how you twisted your ankle."

"Turned weird."

Your response earns you a bemused raise of her blonde eyebrows, "Alright, whatever," she says, pulling up a chair and sitting before you.

After a short, boring while, she lets go of your leg and looks up at you again,

"So, you got a sprain. I'm gonna have to wrap your ankle up, alright?"

A lock of her hair continuously pesters her as she begins carefully tending to your ankle, pulling fresh bandages taut around the injury.

"It's gonna stay sensitive for a few days," the woman states, "And you shouldn't walk on it for at least a week."

She places a hand upon Ellie's shoulder, pulling her out of the deep-end of her thoughts, and turning her away from you. A muffled, but aggressive, hushed conversation ensues between them as you glance around the room restlessly, only making out the irritated tone of Ellie's responses. It ends with her pinching her nose bridge and mumbling a, "Fine," and they're facing you again.

The woman gives the two of you a nod before exiting the room,

"You two be safe out there."

“Alright. I’ll take you home. Now, get on," she turns, arms out, backpack on her front, as she waits for you to get onto her back again.

The route to your place is short and quiet as night blankets the world, or what’s left of it. Before you know it, she's pushing open the door and setting you down on yet another tattered bed - your own.

You hiss at the contact your ankle makes with the bed, but Ellie seems unfazed, patting your thigh in the same way she did before, the way that made your stomach twist,

“You gonna be okay?”

You nod, though her deadpan tone doesn’t leave much room for the honest truth.

“Alright, well… I’ll get going, then.”

There’s a stark contrast in life between her coming and going; the constant rustling of the fabric of her coat and the sound of her heavy winter boots against your creaky floorboards, the sound of her sniffles and low voice, and the flurry of gusts of nippy winds whistling - all shut out with the cold of the outside once she closes the door behind her. Well, most of it.

Now, you’re left with the bite of cold air and the deafening silence that haunts you as you sit still upon your mattress with darkness cast over the room, seeming to melt everything together.

#fanfic #enemies to lovers #angst #ellie x y/n #ellie fluff #ellie williams fanfic #ellie smut #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams headcanons #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams angst #mean!ellie #tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #tlou #the last of us

[pandorasfavorite]

I live for your writing literally supporting my delusions ❤️❤️❤️ But anyways I think you’ve already written with this idea before but hopefully this request is a little different. So a fem reader and Dominik have been dating for a couple months but the reader beings to get annoyed by Dom’s close relationship with Rhea. The reader kind of starts giving him attitude about about this and Dom takes matters into his own hands with him showing the reader that he only wants the her and saying some stuff like “Do I kiss/touch Rhea like this?” and then proceeds to show her😝😝

Pick a Side

AN: Requests are coming as fast as I can write (don't give up on me). And keep a look out for your request mixed in with other posts.

It's not in Dominik's hands how he is supposed to do things. I mean he did choose to join the Judgement Day but the close relationship with Rhea was essentially pushed on him for more attention and heat. You were not a part of the Judgement, instead you stayed solo and stayed away from factions. You weren't with Dominik until 3 months after he joined The Judgement Day. But he grew on you slowly but surely; the way he was constantly in your life and that adorable smile and crazy hair; he was irresistible. You knew who all was in The Judgement Day too; you knew he liked Rhea as a friend, so he said, though lately the jealousy has gotten worse.

When you liked Dominik it didn't hurt as bad to see them paired together in the center of the ring acting like a couple. Yet the longer your relationship carries on, the more you love him, seeing him hug her and hang off her shoulder was slowly killing your nerves. So yeah you've been moody towards him lately, he should know by now anyway. On the other hand, Dominik was getting a little frustrated with your little mood. But he wasn't dense; it was clear as water that you were being pissy about Rhea. What could he do other than show you how he only wants you? Just finding the right time was the tricky part.

Well, the tricky part was over because you were blowing up on Dominik for touching Rhea's hair. In his defense, it really was an accident, but anything that had to do with them being in contact was ticking you off effortlessly. So now you were pacing in front of the king-sized bed (where Dominik was leaning against the headboard with his arms crossed), and you were going on a rant about the ridiculous events that have happened recently.

"You know it wouldn't matter if you at least acted like you didn't mean to do it. And then you want to throw your arm around her shoulder- or wait NO MY ARM, what's yours is mine, and your mine. So what I guess I'm really asking is why are you throwing my arm around another woman?" you spewed with your hands flying around to emphasize your point. Dominik was so fucking flabbergasted; somehow you managed to not only call him out for an accident but also claim his arm as yours. But he listened anyway and tried to act normal because if he smiled at your insanity; you would say he was making fun of the problem. So with a straight face (one that was about to break), Dominik patted the bed beside him.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him with apprehension, yet your body still went and sat beside him. Dominik turned to look at you with soft loving eyes while you turned to look at him with fire burning behind yours. He did the first thing that came to mind, kiss you until gasped out his name. His lips slipped against yours in a wet kiss and his whole body moved with the kiss. Every smack of your lips against his was followed by Dominik moving on top of you with ease. One of his legs was slotted between both of yours and your mind felt a bit foggy at the unexpected sensation. But the fog wasn't thick enough to distract you, that much Dominik already knew, his thigh pressed against your clothed cunt and he began pulling your clothes off one by one.

First start with your shirt and then your bra right after. The moment it slipped off, not even on the floor yet Dominik's hands were playing with your tits and his lips were sucking dark marks onto your sensitive skin. Each movement of his hands was directly followed by his thigh just barely pressing against you. He pulled back to taunt you, "Do I touch Rhea like this? Kiss her like this?", he rasps but you grit your teeth at the name alone.

"Don't say her name right now", you huff and grab the back of his head like you are about to push him back down onto you. He grins and pushes his hair out of his face, "Yea, I rather hear you say my name instead". You held back your surprise when Dominik ripped your pants completely off your body and slid your panties off. He looked at them with the same cocky smirk and showed you the prominent wet mark right in the middle. He smacked your pussy lightly; you felt yourself jolt and moan at the same time. "No surprise there", he commented and threw them off the bed all the same.

His hand splayed down your body; only for his tongue to follow the same trail, just barely dipping down to lick the inside of your thighs teasingly. You wither from above and try to wrap your legs around his head like you always do. Dominik never went a day without tasting your cunt. It was his favorite way to relieve stress; it was almost like a routine for him to come home with you and get on his knees to slide his tongue into your wet pussy. Though tonight he only glided his tongue against your clit for a split second before just barely letting his teeth graze over it. Your body reacted before your mind processed the new action. You gasped and raised up off of the bed to see what the fuck he just did and why the hell did it feel so good. "Like that mami? I thought you would, I know this pussy in and out", he sticks his tongue out playfully but he was still so low the tip of his tongue hit your pussy all the same.

You moaned his name and glared with impatience. You had never claimed to be the patient one in this relationship. Dominik took that as a sign to hurry up and pull his cock out to slip inside of you. After all this time you thought you'd be used to the stretch of his cock, but each inch sent you reeling and gripping the sheets for support. The way his cock filled you up, made you feel full it was unexplainable; really only your intangible moans could begin to explain it. "Fuck you feel so good", you whined and convulsed around his cock.

Dominik let you scratch down his cock and throw your arms over his shoulders while he just barely rocked into you. But he couldn't help but reply, "Oh yeah?" he asked but knew the answer based on how much you were pulsing around him already. "Fuck you", you grit out without meaning, though in reality, you wanted to pull his face down to slip your tongue into his smart mouth. He looks at you from the curtain of his long hair, "I can't wait" he said back. And he meant it with his entire being. Dominik loved you on top, roughing him around, and shoving your panties into his mouth.

Now Dominik was practically abusing your cunt with each harsh thrust that hit your g-spot with no effort. Each thrust made a smacking sound of his hips against your ass and then the squelch of him pulling in and out of your pussy. Dominik was now holding the headboard to better fuck you and the sight you got to see was better than any other. He was panting and licking his lips while watching you moan and work through the up-and-coming orgasm. His muscles were convulsing and his hips were ramming his cock inside of you. The quirks of Dominik being so athletic really paid off in bed.

Dominik pulled out and barely gave any time for you to whine out complaints. He grabbed you by the hips and flipped you over, he pushed your knees up and pushed your back down so you were arched in front of him; ass up and ready. Dominik slipped inside of you effortlessly this time and groaned at the sight in front of him. He grabs your hips again tightly this time and slams you back on his cock while he thrusts into you all the same. "Why would I want her when I have you taking my cock like a whore? God, I could fuck you forever Mami", his words are sloppy and dirty. You pulse around him and moan into the sheets he pushed you into over and over again.

"Dom please", you mumble from the sheets; that was the best way to tell him you were about to cum. And in this case, it was going to be the best one you've had in weeks. Dominik groaned as your pussy got tighter with each pulse and now one of his hands moved to the arch of your back to keep you in the right position. "Just a little longer princess, my good girl can do that right?", you only nodded into the sheet and Dominik felt his body constricting with each long pull. But you not speaking wasn't nearly enough for him. "My little cock slut can handle it hm?", he moved his hands down to grasp and pull at the plush of your ass. Smacking and pulling to make his cock drive even further into you. The degradation and praise mixed together always had you gushing around his cock and stilling while you cum. Already knowing Dominik would have no problems with fucking you through it.

Your ass pressed against him and his cock was as deep as it could go when you squeezed around his cock tightly. So tight he could barely pull out or stutter his cuss of praise. But of course, he managed, "That's my girl"

#dominik mysterio x reader smut #dominik mysterio smut #dominik mysterio fluff #dom dom #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio x you #wwe #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio #dominik my bbg

[hard-core-super-star]

shock to your system [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: your move to new york isn't as panic-free as you would have hoped but thankfully, your girlfriend knows just what to do to help.

warnings: panic attack + general mentions/descriptions of anxiety; hailee being the sweetest person in the world even in stressful situations; cute cheesy fluff; one day i'll figure out how to write endings, i promise; me dragging new york again, i'm so sorry

wordcount: 1.3k

a/n: title (and inspiration) comes from shock to your system by tegan and sara, i cannot recommend the song enough, holy crap. this request by sent in via pm and it's slightly heavier on the anxiety side than some of my past works. important disclaimer: i've never experienced a panic attack before despite living with major anxiety so hopefully the descriptions aren't totally awful. hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

You should’ve known better than to keep your growing anxiety to yourself. Despite the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, you had dismissed it at first. You were sure it was just the average amount of discomfort that comes with moving to a different city and because of it, you didn't say anything to your girlfriend.

Clearly, that had been a bad idea.

You didn’t know where it stemmed from but it was obvious the move to New York had left you a little more uneasy than you had anticipated. It’s not like you were a stranger to the city but living here is something completely different to visiting every few months. Everything about it is loud and overwhelming and incredibly different from the ocean-blue views of L.A that you’re so used to.

Not only were you dealing with the move, but you were also dealing with Hailee’s absence most days. Hawkeye had been picked up for a season 2, hence your hurried move to New York, and your girlfriend was on set pretty much every hour she was awake. She didn’t technically have the title of executive producer like she did with Dickinson but she certainly behaved like one, choosing to stay on set even when she didn’t have any scenes to film.

In hindsight, the signs were obvious. And yet you managed to ignore them over and over again until you finally snapped.

You had spent most of the week laying in bed and pretending like everything was fine. Hailee was distracted enough that she didn’t question you even when it was obvious you were avoiding things and you made no effort to fill her in on what was going on inside your mind. You didn’t see anything wrong with it…until today when your anxiety got way out of your control.

You don’t even know how it happened. One second you were fine, relaxing on the couch and texting your girlfriend who was on her way back to your apartment, and the next you felt the walls closing in on you. All it had taken to tip you over the edge into an ocean of panic was a genuinely sweet question from Hailee, an offer to go out tonight and explore the city together.

The mere thought of stepping foot outside of the walls of your new home was more than enough to make you spiral.

And spiral you did.

You’re not sure how much time passed, it felt like both an eternity and a second to your overwhelmed mind, but the tightness in your chest slowly increased until you were left gasping for breath.

You’re so lost in trying to remember how to properly breathe that you miss the sound of the door opening until the caring voice you love so much calls out for you. “y/n?”

You open your mouth to say something but all that comes out is a choked sob full of more desperation than sadness. You want to look up at Hailee but you feel frozen in place like all you can do is shake and struggle to get enough air into your lungs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she says as she crosses the space between you until she’s kneeling in between your legs. “Can you look at me, baby?”

“Can’t- Too much-”

“Shh, I know, I know. Take your time, you’re safe, love.”

Her gentle hands come up to caress your face, her thumbs wiping away the tears you hadn’t even realized had been slipping out of your tired eyes. Her touch helps ground you despite the chaos swirling around your mind, almost as if she’s the only thing keeping you anchored to reality.

She moves slowly but she manages to help you lift your head enough to be able to look into the loving eyes you call home. “There we go. Focus on me, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

You sort of mumble in agreement although the sound comes out slightly muffled and incoherent. Hailee doesn’t judge your panicked response and instead does her best to comfort you, keeping her eyes trained on your face for any subtle hints that the panic attack may be growing stronger. There’s an underlying sweetness to the moment that not even the demons in your mind can argue against.

You do your best to focus on the sweetness of the moment and the sheer warmth she radiates so effortlessly while you struggle to get your breathing back under control. It’s a slow process filled with Hailee’s whispered words of encouragement and soft caresses but eventually, your shaking subsides and your breath starts coming in somewhat steadier than before.

You feel as if you’ve run a marathon despite having been frozen in place for who knows how long. The relieved smile that spreads along your girlfriend’s face offers more solace than the air that fills your lungs. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Your voice is barely louder than a whisper but at least you can finally talk without hyperventilating. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” she replies with a small shake of her head. “I’m just glad I could help you.”

You reach for her with shaky hands and she instantly understands your silent request. She joins you on the couch, her arm instantly wrapping around your waist and offering you more comfort than she could ever imagine. You shift your body toward her and rest your head against her shoulder while making sure to keep your breaths slow and deep.

A few moments of silence go by before Hailee speaks up, the question she asks breaking your heart a little. “y/n…why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad.” Your words are laced with both honesty and small traces of guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, baby, I should’ve known.” Her grip on you tightens the slightest bit and it's obvious to you how genuine her concern is. It makes your heart flutter in your chest, the love that flows between you being more than enough to help your leftover discomfort disappear.

“Hailee, you’ve been so busy lately, it’s okay.”

“That’s not an excuse,” she argues. “I made you move here with me and then ditched you every day when I didn’t even need to be on set.”

You hate the way she blames herself but you know it’s only because she cares about you so much. It turns the whole situation into an easy pill to swallow. “Lee, I moved here with you because I wanted to. I love you, and I love New York, it’s just a lot to wrap my head around and that’s not your fault.”

She chuckles but the sound comes out a tad too deflated for your liking. “I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around, love.”

“We can comfort each other. It doesn’t have to be a competition." You tilt your head slightly so you can gaze up at the proud owner of your heart. You pretend not to notice the thin layer of tears in her eyes, not wanting to spend any more time dwelling on the bad.

You're in your girlfriend's arms with nothing but time to spend with each other. And that's what matters to you.

"You...are way too sweet for your own good, you know that?"

She doesn't give you time to argue with her. Instead, she leans down and captures your lips with her own. You practically melt in her arms. After going almost a full day without her, this was heaven on Earth, you were sure of it.

You reluctantly pull away from the kiss, the smile on your face wider and more genuine than it's been all week. "I know you wanted to go out but how about we order pizza and watch a trashy rom-com?"

"You read my mind, baby."

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x female reader #hailee steinfeld x you #hailee steinfeld x y/n #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfeld fluff #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld fanfiction #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu imagine #marvel #wlw #wlw fic #writing

[chaenniz]

cookie - pham hanni x reader

A/N ;; felt the urge to write this fic bc of this lol,, i'll try to finish reqs once im done w school stuff ‼️‼️

genre ;; fluff

wc ;; 2.2k

day after day you’d find that there would be a sweet surprise waiting for you in your locker before first period, cookies.

today was no different, you opened your locker to find the familiar sight of round chocolate-chip cookies in a clear bag and wrapped with a light blue star-patterned ribbon sitting in the cubbyhole your locker had.

you reached for the small folded sticky note that always accompanied the gift.

‘i tried making the cookies softer this time! hopefully these give you a boost of energy throughout the day! - your secret admirer <3’

you smiled softly to yourself, chuckling. you already knew who had been sending you all these cookies and notes, in fact you figured it out the next day after the first time you received the sugary treats in your locker.

being hanni’s childhood friend and best friend meant that you could read her like a book. this was especially apparent when you noticed how much her writing resembled the note’s writing in your hand.

you jolted awake from your nap in the library as you felt a hand smack against your shoulder, accompanied soon after with a high-pitched voice.

"do you really have to abuse my shoulder each time you see me, hanni? you groan. "i swear, i'm gonna get uneven shoulders by the time we graduate"

hanni playfully rolls her eyes at you, ""i didn't even hit you that hard, you big baby." she grabs your wrist, "now hurry up and get your stuff, the others are waiting for us."

"yeah, yeah. i got it" you reply sleepily, gathering your things. this had always been your routine. you'd pay back some of your sleep debt in the library just before lunch period until hanni came to wake you from your sleep.

haphazardly stuffing your schoolwork into your bag, you deemed everything packed and ready to go. giving a thumbs up to hanni, she takes the lead as she heads towards where the other four girls were.

finally reaching the rooftop of the school, you laid your bag down tiredly. the girls look at your direction and giggle at your exhaustion.

"we come up here everyday, y/n. how are you not used to it yet?" minji asks as she moves your bag towards the rest of their belongings.

you just shrug, not really knowing the answer yourself, you weren't the most athletic student, but you certainly weren't lazy either. you take a seat in between haerin and hanni.

“so, are we still going to hanni’s tomorrow for the sleepover?” danielle asks. nods and hums of approval came as a response to the question.

right, it’s been a little over a month since your monthly sleepover with the girls. you and your friends always slept over at each other’s houses every month, it seems this month you’d all be staying at the pham residence.

you turn to face hanni, “does mrs. pham know we’re coming over?” your face much closer to hers than you had intended, startling the both of you. the other girls just snickered at your flustered states.

hanni breaks her eye contact with you, suddenly finding that the shapes of the clouds in the skies much more interesting. “erm- yeah. she says she’s excited to have you- all of you guys over.”

hyein raises a brow at this, a small playful smirk appearing on her face seconds later. “did my ears deceive me or did you say something else at first?”

hanni denied vehemently at hyein’s playful remark, the other girls soon joining in and ganging up on the vietnamese girl. you smile at the sight of your friends playful teasing.

that is, until haerin nudges you with her elbow harder than she’d intended to. you let out a small groan, turning towards the cat-eyed girl, “am i just today’s punching bag or what?”

haerin waves her hands up in apology, laughing, “sorry, sorry- look i just wanted to ask how long you’re gonna make hanni keep doing this.” she says in a hushed manner.

your lips curl upwards in amusement, “i have no idea what you’re talking about, haerin.”

she sends you a dumbfounded look, the smirk on your face unwavering. “i know you figured it out already so why not just confess? i see how you look at her.”

that comment made you double back. sure, hanni was a bit obvious with her slight crush on you, but you didn’t realize others could see your growing infatuation as well.

you throw your head back, “soon ‘rin, i’m just waiting for the perfect time.” it wasn’t a lie, you wanted yours and hanni’s confession to be special, and confessing anywhere around or in the school just didn’t meet your expectations.

unknown to you and haerin though, a certain 5’4 vietnamese girl was looking at the interaction you two had, deeming your closeness as anything but platonic.

you arrive at school the next day expecting to see round, sugary delicacies waiting for you in your locker. however, today seemed to be a different case.

your locker was completely empty, save for the few textbooks and polaroid pictures of you and the other girls that you put up.

you dejected a bit at the thought of hanni no longer giving you her ‘secret admirer’ cookies, but you shook it off, thinking maybe that she was just busy today.

it was now lunch period and you were waiting around like a lost puppy for hanni to come and pick you up. you didn’t fall asleep in the library this time since you couldn’t help but overthink about the cookie situation this morning.

a thud sounded onto the table, snapping you out of your thoughts, you look up to find haerin instead.

you tilt your head in confusion, why was haerin picking you up instead of hanni?

haerin notices your confused demeanor, “hanni asked me to pick you up.”

“thank you, is hanni busy?” you question.

haerin shrugs and you take that as your cue to get up and pack.

as if the entire first half of your day wasn’t weird enough, lunch was definitely the cherry on top. every time you tried to initiate some sort of interaction with hanni, she’d just awkwardly reply with a one-word answer or nod.

the girls definitely noticed the weird tension between you two, and just hoped that this doesn’t affect the sleepover that was going to happen later today.

you arrived at hanni’s address with danielle and haerin. as you step out of your car, you see minji’s car parked not too far from yours, meaning that the other three girls were inside already.

danielle rang the doorbell, the sound of footsteps slowly getting louder. as. the door opened to reveal hanni herself. she greeted you guys and ushered the three of you inside.

“where’s minji and hyein? and mrs. pham?” haerin asks, taking her shoes off.

“they’re just in the living room, we were waiting for you guys.” hanni answers, leaning against the wall of her hallway. “oh, and my parents aren’t here right now because of a sudden business trip, they really wanted to see you guys though.”

the three of you finished taking off your shoes, now placing it neatly against the others for an organized look.

“sorry if we were a bit late, we decided to go get some snacks for the sleepover” danielle grins as she holds up the bag filled with chips, soda, and candy.

hanni waves her hand dismissively and grins, “thank you, and you guys aren’t even close to late so don’t worry about it.”

hanni leads you three to the living room. where you see minji and hyein lounging on the couch, both deeply immersed in the k-drama that was playing as if their lives depended on it.

you let out a snicker at the sight, causing minji and hyein to turn towards you guys.

“you guys are here!” hyein squeals, “we can get started now!”

it made you happy to see the younger girl so excited to spend time with her unnies.

danielle set down the bag of snacks for everyone to see, “we got snacks as well, but we’re still going to bake and cook later right?”

a mixture of nods, hums, and yes’s of approval came from the six of you.

“well, let’s get started with a movie then?” hanni asks.

“just after this episode, hanni-unnie!” hyein objects, which caused the six of you laugh.

it was nearing 7 p.m. and the girls decided that it would be best if they started on the cooking and baking now.

you all decided on making bibimbap as your main course, and cookies as a dessert since they were easy to make. there would also be two groups: the bibimbap team, and the cookie team.

you expected an even split between the two groups, since there was six people. however, hyein was insistent that the groups were 4:2, saying that bibimbap is harder to make than cookies.

“we’ll let you guys go first, just so we don’t have to wait for the actual cookies to bake.” minji says before hurrying the other girls out of the kitchen.

that's how you and hanni ended up making cookies alone, but you swear that the other girls had mischief on their mind when they put the groups together.

“let’s get started?” you ask hanni, she only nods in response.

hanni was in charge of the wet ingredients, while you with the dry ingredients. the entire time you two were making the cookie dough, it was dead silent, except for when you’d ask the occasional question here and there, to which hanni replied with full answers.

“can you go grab the chocolate-chip cookies in the pantry?” hanni broke the silence, asking you instead since she was preoccupied with mixing the batter.

you did as you were asked. you looked around the pantry for the chocolate-chip cookies hanni requested, your eyes locking on to a familiar light blue star-patterned ribbon instead.

your lips curl upwards as you grab the ribbon, soon after finding the item hanni requested.

“so, you were my secret admirer this entire time?” you ask, grinning.

you set the two items in front of hanni, causing her to look up at you in slight terror.

hanni stops mixing, tilting her head down to the batter while sighing softly. “yes.. but it’s ok! i know you and haerin have something going on, i don’t wanna intrude-”

you cut hanni off immediately as she said that, “there’s nothing between me and haerin.”

hanni looks up at you again with wide eyes, “but i thought?”

your familiar eye smile graces your face, “no, i like you too, hanni. and i sort of knew you were my secret admirer since the beginning”

hanni’s eyes get impossibly bigger, “you do? and you knew?”

“i do,” you sigh out chuckling, “i was going to confess to you this weekend, but any later and i was scared you were going to ignore me.”

"it also isn't that hard to tell your handwriting apart, hanni." you add on.

hanni malfunctions for a good several seconds. y/n, her long-time best friend and the person she’s been crushing on for a year now, just confessed that she liked her back.

“erm- hanni?” you call for her name, causing her to come back to reality.

“y-yes?” hanni stutters a little.

you begin to fidget with the ribbon in your hands, “i know this isn’t the best way to ask you out, but i have to do it now or i might never get the confidence to do it again..”

you take a deep breath, “pham hanni, will you let me be your girlfriend?” you ask with a hopeful smile.

hanni doesn’t know how long she’s been waiting to hear those words. she gives you a smile that reaches her eyes in return, “of course i’ll let you be my girlfriend.”

you try to initiate the kiss first, but hanni beats you to it. she gives you a soft, chaste kiss on the lips, one that you happily return.

“usually i don’t let anybody kiss me until a few dates in, but i’ll make an exception for you” hanni teases as she pulls away.

you grin back at her, kissing her forehead. “i guess i’m really lucky then, huh?”

you and hanni hear a creak, causing the two of you to face the doorway into the kitchen.

there revealed the other four who have been spying on the two of you for god knows how long.

“how long have you guys been there?” you ask, a little dumbfounded at your friends.

“not too long, don’t worry” minji replies, a smirk on her face.

“we’ll get going now, we just wanted to check in.” danielle follows up after, leading the quartet back into the living room.

“you two better pay up! me and minji-unnie won that bet fair and square” hyein grins.

danielle sighs, pulling out a 5000 won bill from her wallet, “i’m happy for them, but i didn’t think y/n would confess today of all days.”

haerin pulls out a 5000 won bill as well, “she said something about waiting for the perfect time and making it special, i guess this was unique in its own way.”

“you two just needed more faith in y/n” minji smirks, taking two 5000 won bills and giving one to hyein.

a/n ;; wrote this one sitting and it’s not proofread, sorry for any grammatical errors or inconsistencies in the writing!

#hanni x reader #pham hanni x reader #newjeans x reader #newjeans #fluff #wlw #kpop #fiction #pham hanni #chaenniz

[kzpearce]

kiss > keys. alhaitham x reader

gender neutral reader! not really proofread (so i apologize for the wrong grammar that you would encounter) and it's also another alhaitham (supposedly ayato butttttttt yeah 😓)

also it contained language so read at your own risk! 😵‍💫

author's note. by the way, thank you so much from my previous post it had gotten a lot of attention! i love you guys <3 (poor ao3 and wattpad i'm still not giving them updates 😣)

edit. LOL i forgot to tag and i feel like this would flop and i dont wanna repost it anymore cuz itd like 1am here so 😔

you had decided to stay at kaveh’s apartment (that you weren’t aware he had a hot roommate he said he didn’t like), only because you had nowhere to stay and your budget wasn’t enough to rent a place. after all, you managed to enter the akademiya because of a scholarship, and it was an opportunity because the akademiya was one of the great schools in teyvat.

but after a few days of staying at kaveh’s apartment, he announced to you and his roommate that he would be going on a trip, and it was a requirement for his task. you glared at your cousin who suddenly made a decision (that he said, he didn’t have a choice) to leave you with the roommate he didn’t trust.

“i thought you didn’t trust your roommate? and now you’re leaving me with him?” you asked unbelievably to your cousin.

“i don’t. but i trust you that you knew how to handle yourself already,” he retorted, placing his clothes inside his baggage. what’s worse was he will be out for a few months, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get enough mora (when you’re only helping in the library and they only gave you a few) to rent a place.

the reason why you were also willingly to come here and accept the scholarship. it’s because your parents declared that your cousin was studying here and you could stay at his place (they also didn’t know he has a roommate).

“bitch your roommate owns this apartment and you didn’t even say a word? to us?” you remembered rolling your eyes and crossing your arms when you managed to have alone time with kaveh.

he reasoned that he didn’t bother saying anything anymore, so that there wouldn’t be more questions coming from the family (since they won’t shut up when there were happenings around you and kaveh’s lives).

meh, understandable, but still. what the hell?

“alhaitham,” kaveh averted his gaze to his grey-haired man roommate, who had never left his sight on his book. “if you did something to my cousin i would burn you and your house alive.”

you snorted. he was so good at threatening people, but you knew that he would also never do it.

when kaveh left, the first few days with alhaitham was awkward, and the house was really silent unless they would ask each other about the house details like where would he be eating for tonight, whatsoever. other than that, nothing more.

nevertheless, time passed when there was a project you needed to do. but when you asked for your professor’s guidance (because there were difficulties on your part), he suggested that alhaitham should teach you.

you were annoyed, but it eventually became okay because he was your roommate for quite a while and hopefully he wouldn’t neglect you since your professor asked him to do it.

“you were doing it the wrong way,” that was his line whenever you talk to him about your project. you couldn’t help but sigh, but it was also okay for you because you’re taking this as an opportunity to become better.

during those days, you would make small talks when things went silent, and he oddly cooperated. you had never thought that this would be an entrance to make the two of you closer.

and you would be lying if you didn’t find him more attractive that you wouldn’t stop yourself from falling.

“i wonder how much information you know since you never stopped reading,” you said when both of you were getting some fresh air outside, yet his eyes were still focused on his book.

“enough that it would make your mind stir,”

you blinked.

twice.

either you got that or you didn’t. there were no betweens.

“well, you might be considered as the smartest man in the world since you contained a lot of information that would make your mind stir,” instead, you made a joke out of it. you chuckled out of foolishness.

he snorted. “that was a terrible joke.”

you rolled your eyes, “of course it was. that wasn’t a joke anymore at some point.”

his lips curved.

the chemistry friendship between you had gotten closer and if both of you had free time, you would hang out together. and it didn’t mean you would go out and do things, but staying at one place and letting the silence eat the ambiance away was enough to consider as a hang out.

you might have considered it as a rest too. the his presence was so comfortable and peaceful that you would never want to go away and his arms wrapped around you would make you simply not care about the world anymore.

his face wasn’t always buried in the pages of his book. instead, you two hung out more and you could see his facial softened whenever he was talking to you. you could see his smile frequently too.

you knew you were falling, yet you’re scared that things wouldn’t be the same if ever he didn’t like you back.

a sigh escaped your lips when you knew you had to live for two days because of a project in port ormos. you knew you would miss him (even though it’s only for two days—maybe you had gotten very comfortable and used to his presence to the point you didn’t want to be away from it anymore).

“see you in two days, roomie,” you giggled at the nickname you suddenly made. he glanced at you interestingly.

“since when did you start calling me that?”

“since now,” you teasingly smiled, remaining in eye contact with him.

“okay, be careful when you’re there.” he said, still maintaining eye contact. His eyes were so pretty.

“okay, roomie,” you teased.

he slightly rolled his eyes but his beautiful smile carved on his lips that you knew you would miss.

you wore your backpack on your back and prepared to walk away from his apartment.

yet you suddenly hovered your hands on your pocket, realising you forgot the keys with you.

“haitham,” you spoke softly, “you forgot to give me the keys,”

the next thing you knew, a soft lips were pressed in your lips. your eyes expanded and how your body reacted started to become uncontrollable.

without giving you time to adjust, he moved away. and your lips suddenly felt empty.

“haitham, the keys of the apartment not a kiss,” you pressed your lips together, maintaining your composure. “but that was better,”

he smirked, “you want me to kiss you again?”

you smiled, unable to trust yourself with how and what you will answer.

the next thing you knew, he leaned, feeling his delicate lips on yours that was lasting for only seconds but it felt long.

“haitham, the keys,” you whispered when you pulled away.

“that would be unnecessary, baby. i’ll be heading with you.”

“wait, huh?” you tried to prevent yourself from smiling because of the endearment, and the news he declared. “you’re coming too?”

“yes, i need to meet someone there for a day,” he answered. “i’ll wait for you to finish before we head home again.”

“thank you, haitham,” you smiled brightly, planting a small peck on his cheek.

“besides doing it for you, i’m also doing it for myself,” he replied with a smile. “two days without you would be insufferable.”

#genshin x you #genshin headcanons #genshin various men #genshin x reader #genshin impact #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham #kzpearce3

[daceydeath]

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 1)

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader Word Count: 4.3k Genre: college au, slow burn romance, Warnings: 🔞, 18+, minors DNI, swearing, alcohol use, sexual themes,

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.

It had been a month since that stupid party where Seungmin had managed to get himself injured, albeit a minor injury, and you were still feeling a bit protective of him. He never told you what the fight was about aside that some guys were being a bunch of dicks about a girl he knew so he stepped in to get them to stop, you never asked any other questions because you could tell he didn't want to talk about it. He had stayed home with you over the weekends for the 3 weeks after that letting Jeongin go and have fun while you made the both of you dinner and either studied or watched a movie together. That changed however on the fourth week.

"Are you going with Jeongin? you asked from the kitchen as they played video games in the lounge, Friday evening had rolled around once again too fast for your liking but you had a shift tonight that you needed to get ready for so you snacked as you finished up a few things.

"Yeah, everyone will have forgotten by now" he grinned back toothily while keeping his eyes focused on his character.

"Boys" you chuckled going around the kitchen island to get to your room "you do remember I'm out tonight yeah?"

"Oooh have a hot date?" Jeongin squealed excitedly pausing the game to look at you hopefully.

"Yeah with a coffee machine you twat, it's Friday night I'm working" you laughed as you shut the door behind you to change, as you did you could here the game not restart like you assumed it would.

"She needs to get out, she needs to date" Jeongin whined softly "There is more to life than her just studying and working".

"I know but you know how hard her parents are on her she got yelled at for over an hour when she told them she moved in here, we can't tell her how to live" Seungmin hissed as you continued to listen at the door.

"I just want her happy, she deserves to be happy and accounting is not going to make her happy it is going to make her parents happy. She will graduate, get a job, sit at a desk and never have a chance at life again to keep people who just run her down all the time happy" Jeongin was arguing getting a little louder as he went.

"Keep it down fuck wit she will hear you" Seungmin scolded "I want her to be happy too but we can't tell her she's making a mistake it isn't our life its hers". After a moment or so more the game unpaused and you could hear the sound of the game filter through the closed door as you rushed to get dressed and go.

"I'll see you guys later" you called as you rushed to the front door and out into the hallway.

Work was busy as always Friday nights usually started quiet and ended up a bit chaotic as people came in for coffee to sober up again, you and a few of the girls called it the witching hour as a joke since pretty much anything could and would happen. Not that you cared Friday nights paid well and you were always happy to have a little extra to spare in the bank if you could manage it. During your break you made yourself an iced tea and sat at the far end of the counter so you were out of the customers way and played on your phone. You could feel eyes on you but you were determined to ignore it you were about to go back on and witching hour was almost beginning, clearing your things you walked back around the counter and put your apron back on pulling in place over your head you noticed him, that pretty Felix guy that helped Seung home that night. He was on the far side of the room watching you with a strange look on his face, the girl hanging off of him hadn't noticed that he wasn't paying any attention to her but his friends had. Taking a breath you got back behind the coffee machine and started on the orders occasionally flicking your eyes to him to see if he was still looking at you which he was every single time.

"Excuse me miss" a honey smooth voice murmured to you making you startle slightly as you turned to him, he was taller than Felix but equally as stunning to look at, like a sculpture come to life.

"Can I help you?" you smiled politely trying not to look dazed.

"I hope so" he almost purred looking you over "I'm Hyunjin" he introduced himself seamlessly.

"Pleasure Hyunjin, but you haven't told me how I can help" you replied tilting your head.

"I was wondering what time you are getting off tonight? I thought you might like to join us" His voice was almost hypnotizing and you were sure that with the combination of this and his looks he could speak to any woman in the cafe and get them to follow him home.

"Who is us?" you asked zeroing on his words not his voice making him chuckled softly.

"In truth it would be you, me and my friends Minho and Felix he gestured behind him where you looked to see Seung's friend glaring at Hyunjin and another handsome guy laughing at him while the girls hanging off of them looked pissed Hyunjin was speaking to you at all.

"I don't think some of your numerous girlfriends would be that happy about that" you smiled politely before turning back to your orders not noticing Hyunjin's slightly baffled expression or how hard Felix immediately started laughing.

Two and a half hours later you were finishing up and saying goodbye to your co-workers when you noticed that Hyunjin, Minho and their gaggle of fangirls were no longer sitting in the back corner of the room however, Felix was still sitting there looking at something on his phone. He hadn't noticed you staring but he seemed to be conflicted about something as he typed then waited then typed again. You knew you should leave it but he was sitting alone in an fairly empty coffee shop on a Friday night which considering his other options seemed odd to you.

"Can I get you anything" you asked casually standing in front of him making his eyes flick up at you prepared to roll his eyes but he stopped as soon as he realized it was you.

"Have you finished for the night?" He asked smiling faintly "you aren't in one of those stupid aprons anymore".

"Yeah I have, thank you for the uniform critique, but I can still get you something if you wanted me to" you smiled awkwardly pressing your lips together.

"I'm good thanks" he nodded as he phone seemed to continue to chime nonstop with notifications.

"Alright then sorry to bother you" you nodded adjusting your bag and starting to turn around.

"You haven't bothered me and it's Felix, I forgot to introduce myself that night at your place after we got Seungmin and Jeongin back" he blurted out seeming every bit as nervous as you which was impossible since he was infamously attractive and had made his way through more girls than you even knew.

"I thought you were hanging out with your friends, at least that's what um...your friend said" you felt your face heat up not being able to remember the name of the handsome guy from earlier.

"Hyunjin" he chuckled looking genuinely happy "Yeah they have gone to party Hyunjin was a little deflated after you shot him down"

"Shot him down?" You yelped your eyes widening at the implication.

"I'm just kidding they were only wanting to tease you anyway, word got around the Seung and Innie have been hiding a cute roommate so Hyunjin just wanted to make them squirm about which one was hooking up with you" he chuckled looking back to his phone to silence it.

"Right...well have a good night then Felix" you mumbled feeling stupid for thinking that they were actually being friendly or that Felix might have hung around for another reason since you had definitely heard him say you were cute that night before he left. You walked towards the door not hearing him call out to you until he grabbed your elbow a few feet outside the café making you jump your heart pounding in your chest.

"You aren't walking home alone are you?" he sighed "It's not safe for girls to walk home alone at night".

"I always walk home alone" you snapped annoyed that he had embarrassed you and now scared you.

"Let me walk you this time then" he replied sounding irritated.

"Why would you even bother, just to give me shit? No thanks I already know that's all I'm good for thanks" You ground out utterly pissed at how handsome he looked but how much of a dick he apparently was. "Besides you didn't care when I was getting chucked out into the night so you could get your dick sucked why start caring now?" You pulled your arm from his grasp and walked away as calmly as you could leaving him as far behind as you could.

When you got back to your apartment you found only Seungmin was home, well his shoes were home but he wasn't alone so you crept passed his door hoping to not disturb him as you made your way to the kitchen to grab some water and painkillers to dull the headache you now had. For a moment you thought Seungmin and Jeongin had been right maybe you did need to date but Felix and his friends showed you just how untrustworthy some guys could be so maybe it was better to just stick to what you knew. As you stood in the kitchen contemplating your non existent love life you heard very familiar voice in the hall, Seungmin was obviously finished entertaining his 'guest' and he was seeing her out with an excuse that the other roommates couldn't know she was there. Sighing you waited to see if Seungmin made his way into the kitchen or back into his room.

"When did you get back?" he asked as he rounded the corner seeing you standing there staring off into space.

"A few minutes ago, I didn't overhear if that's what you're worried about" you sighed not feeling like you could do the normal back and forth with him tonight.

"No, I was just wondering, are you alright?" he asked leaning his back against the counter so he could see your face.

"Long shift, annoying customers" you nodded trying to mask your annoyance.

"You seem sad that's all" he pressed a little making you more irritated.

"I'm fine Seung, I'm just tired" you smiled tightly "I'll see you in the morning" you left him standing there knowing he would ask more questions in the morning hopefully not in front of Jeongin.

Morning came and you had been correct more questions followed though annoyingly Seungmin seemed to have filled in, the not as hung over as you had hoped, Jeongin.

"Do you feel better this morning?" Jeongin welcomed you from the kitchen as you left your room.

"Yeah I do thanks. How was the party? you seem pretty chipper this morning" you smiled hoping you could just have Jeongin spill the tea for the next hour to keep your from having to explain anything.

"It was amazing, Hyunjin and Minho arrived late without Felix which is strange but apparently some girl turned Hyunjin down, like who turns down Hyunjin honestly, anyway that probably isn't true but who knows maybe it is and Minho was giving him shit about it since apparently Felix has a crush on her but that has to be shit Felix doesn't have crushes he fucks his way through campus" Jeongin began which instantly made you annoyed again why would he be so invested in the lives of fuck boys even if they are his friends "but that helped us all hook up though after they picked who they wanted the others just always gravitate towards us since we're their friends, Seung picked up some girl who was devastated that Felix wasn't there so good for him".Jeongin continued to babble and you tuned out continuing to nod like you cared until Seungmin interrupted.

"You have that look on your face again, the one from last night" he called you out easily.

"I'm fine I just had a weird conversation with some friends of yours and one was a jerk that's all" You sighed hoping you could play down everything.

"Which friends?" Seungmin asked seeming surprised.

"Not important Seung was back when I got in from work but you weren't Innie" you prodded "spill".

"Oh yeah so after Seungmin left with that chick Felix did show up and he was pissed, I don't know what happened before he got there, but Hyunjin and Minho were giving him shit then these other guys decided it would be fun to chime in and Felix lost it so he punched one of them and he and Minho ended up taking on like four guys, Felix will probably have a black eye but they are always in fights so it's not like that's never happened before" Jeongin continued loving that your were interested but again Seungmin interrupted.

"Which of our friends were rude to you?" he asked again with far more authority making you frown.

"Hyunjin and Felix, apparently I turned the mighty Hyunjin down even though he only wanted me to hang out with him to give you two shit about which one of you was fucking me and then Felix was a prick about it all, it was nothing really" you sighed.

"Hold on you're the one who turned down Hyunjin?" Jeongin's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I didn't turn him down he came over while I was working and introduced himself then he asked if I wanted to hang out with them after I finished work. I told him that the girls that were all over them didn't seem thrilled with that idea then went back to work" you explained, mainly to Jeongin who was looking like he was too shocked to speak.

"And Felix?" Seung asked softly looking like he knew more than you did which confused you.

"They left, Felix stayed when I finished I asked him if i could get him anything and he told me they only asked me to hang out to give you two shit and then scared the shit out of me on the street when he grabbed my arm, he offered to walk me home. I declined. End of my super exciting story" you tried not to sound fed up but honestly you were not only had they made you feel insignificant, Jeongin couldn't believe they would waste their time on you and Seungmin had slept with Nali, not that he knew that you knew.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to scare you but we have both told you not to walk home after your night shifts and get an cab instead" Seungmin chastised you slightly.

"Did Nali take a cab home after you fucked her then Seungmin?" you snapped looking his dead in the eyes making him flush pink his mouth falling open "Yeah that's what I thought, I think maybe the no dating and no men thing is something I'll stick to for now but thank you for both spending your time worrying that I'm wasting my life" you seethed as you turned walked back to your room to get ready to go out. You had no idea where you would go you just needed to be away from them, it was irrational for you to be angry with them it wasn't their fault that Felix had made you feel like a fool but the fact that they defended him over listening to what you had to say had pushed you too far.

When you reemerged from your room both of the guys looked guilty since they must have realized that they had been overheard their conversations about you at some point but you didn't speak you just scooped up your bag and walked out needing time to calm down before you spoke to them again and apologized for being short with them. Just wandering you found yourself in the public gardens beside the university, you hardly ever took time to wander between your classes, studying, working you didn't actually have time to do much else. The gardens were beautiful in the quiet of the morning, still a little too early for the party goers to have emerged, it was still and quiet which made you feel calmer. Slowly making your way around the pathways you came across no one so you decided to just sit and think. Seungmin and Jeongin were right in a sense, you did live your life to meet your parents expectations and you did do everything you could for them to be proud of you but you were missing out. Maybe you weren't missing much in the way of dating morons or one night stands, which weren't your thing, but just the mere fact you had never even taken the time to actually wander the gardens that were so close to where you spent so much time did prove that you were missing out on really living your life. Sighing you knew you were going to have to apologize to them but only if they were willing to not dismiss you so easily.

"I didn't think gardens were your thing? they don't have anything to do with studying" his deep voice drawled from somewhere to the right of you, shaking you from your thoughts.

"You don't actually know anything about me Felix" you frowned looking towards him to take in his appearance. He wasn't in his trademark leather jacket and black jeans, just blue jeans and a grey hoodie, looking suspiciously young and innocent with the exception of the purplish looking bruise blooming on his cheek.

"I know, but maybe I want to" he shrugged walking over to you and sitting at the opposite end of the bench from you.

"Why bother I'm not going to be another conquest for you so I doubt I'm very interesting to you" you sighed trying not to sound annoyed at him and failing since his face fell slightly.

"Do you think I can't have friends? I don't have sex with every girl I know" he smirked as you looked over his face finding yourself drawn to try to count the freckles on the bridge of his nose.

"From your body count I doubt that very much and that wasn't there when I last saw you" you gestured to his face.

"No I got this later" he murmured looking sad for a moment before schooling his face.

"Want to talk about it?" you offered softly not knowing why you would even ask him, he kept giving you mixed signals and you couldn't decipher them.

"It was just a fight nothing important?" he shrugged fiddling with the cuff of his hoodie a bit. "I'm sorry I scared you last night after you got off work, I called after you but you obviously didn't hear me, I shouldn't have just grabbed you" he smiled at you this time.

"No you shouldn't have, grabbing a woman in the street at night is a dick move, but thanks I guess" you relented.

"Seung said you're doing accounting, do you like it?" he continued still smiling.

"Not really but it's what I'm supposed to do" you admitted reluctantly "I was interested in other careers but accounting is more stable I guess" you explained "What department are you in?".

"Arts" he smiled examining you closely "I'm doing English Lit, is it your parents wanting you to do accounting?".

"Umm... yeah" you nodded slowly now watching him as closely as he was scrutinizing you.

"It's hard to make your parents proud" he breathed sadness flashing across his eyes.

"Yeah it's almost impossible" you agreed clearing your throat awkwardly "I have to head back Felix bye" you half smiled standing up quickly you didn't like how unbalanced he was making you feel.

"You too Choi" he smiled leaning further back on the bench and closing his eyes. Your eyes lingered on him for a few more seconds before you left feeling less annoyed in general but still frustrated by everything.

The walk back to your shared apartment felt longer than it had on the way out this morning which you figured was probably the difference between annoyance and guilt. You could hopefully smooth everything over with Seung and Innie, after all it wasn't their fault you hadn't really explained the situation or how you had felt, you had tried to minimize it which of course would leave to misunderstandings. Plus you liked the boys they were easy to live with so you hoped they wouldn't ask you to leave. Keying in your code you slipped off your shoes and padded towards the kitchen where you assumed they would be to be once again caught in a situation where you were snooping.

"Chan, we didn't mean to make her upset" you could hear a voice whine over the phone.

"Not the point Hyunjin, Seung and Innie have potentially lost a housemate because you guys thought she was an easy source of amusement" Chan groaned and you just stayed still thinking about how to fake that you weren't overhearing another private conversation.

"She seems real nice too" another voice that you didn't recognize said.

"She's better than nice" Seungmin replied dryly "She's kind, sweet and always helpful, not to mention easy on the eye which helps".

"She is cute, is that why you decided to play her? she's the only cute girl one of the three of you hasn't fucked?" Innie almost spat sounding more annoyed that you had heard him before.

"It's not like that" Hyunjin instantly answered "It wasn't about teasing her it was about pissing off you guys and Felix, you should have seen the way he was looking at her she has him whipped and she doesn't even know".

"I highly doubt that" Chan sighed skeptically "Felix doesn't want a girlfriend he wants to stick his dick in every girl he can".

"She's too good for him anyway" Seungmin grumbled "too smart and too steady for the guy who can't date someone for longer than a fortnight".

"Damn Seung savage" one said but you weren't sure who as you crept quietly back down the hallway hearing them laughing, jamming your feet roughly back into your shoes to make nothing suspicious you loudly open and shut the door taking your shoes off again.

"Seung? Innie? you home?" you called down the hall knocking on each of their doors as you passed them.

"In the lounge" Innie called as you made your way into the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab some water.

"Alright look I'm really...Hi" you pretended to be surprised that there were other people in the apartment.

"This is Han" Innie smiled at you like he was actually thrilled you were home "I can't remember if you have met before and of course you know the others".

"Hi all" you waved from where you were standing "Han and I have met, I think I have met all your friends but one now" you poked your tongue into your cheek.

"Who haven't you met?" Seung tilted his head looking at you.

"I think his name is Minho, he's apparently glued to your mates Hyunjin and Felix" you smiled "I mean he waved but you have never introduced me to him, although same could have been said for Hyunjin".

"Yeah we did try to keep you away from them" Innie admitted as you walked around the kitchen island to move closer to the group lounging around on the sofas.

"I noticed" you chuckled "It's fine Innie I get it".

"No it's not because we think you need to stay away from them it's just that we know they aren't your type of person so.." Innie tried to explain quickly.

"Innie, it's fine I don't need to know all your friends I'm not your mother" you laughed rolling your eyes at him before retreating to your room.

"She seems fine guys I don't get why you were so panicked" Changbin chuckled as you shut your door.

"I get Felix's interest now she is pretty cute" Han whisper shouted making you roll your eyes as you heard Seung and Innie protest loudly and they all began bickering.

"Look we both get that she's cute but back off she's like super innocent the last thing she needs is any of you fuckers messing her around" Seung whispered back.

"When you say innocent?" Changbin asked softly.

"She hasn't hooked up with a single guy since she started collage, I'm pretty sure she's a virgin" Innie blurted like he was spilling some kind of tea which made you put your face in your hands embarrassed that they were discussing your sex life.

"How would you even guess that kind of information Innie, bloody hell if she overheard you know she would be mortified" Chan scolded.

"Trust me she is" you yelled through the door hoping that it made them cringe at the whole idea because you were mortified that it had been so obvious to Jeongin that you had pretty much no experience in that department, outside of a few sloppy make out sessions and the moment you lost your virginity which you hadn't enjoyed so you had never bothered to go back for seconds.

"Her bedroom walls are thin" Changbin laughed awkwardly as you flopped down on your bed hoping to not have to face any of them ever again.

a/n: Thank your for reading my lovliest loves I hope you enjoyed it and please know that any likes, reblogs, comments and amazing tags are loved and enjoyed xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel,

#lee felix x reader #bad boy felix #lee yongbok x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #college au #cliche trope #daceydeath writes #cigarettes and cliches

[readerhead]

Invisible string

summary: what happens when you’re in love with your friend? Would something happen? Would there be a perfect occasion? What if you two were predestined?

pairing: Stiles Stilinski x reader (I wrote this thinking of a female reader but I think there isn't any word that imply it)

warnings: some drinking? It’s actually just fluff

word count: 2.7k

a/n: first of all, English isn’t my first language so sorry beforehand if there's any mistake. I obviously did this while I was procrastinating because I thought there are not many Stiles x reader fanfics that are not long series (I think I read all of the ao3 ones) so here I am to contribute and hopefully encourage people to do more because I need them to live. Hope you enjoy it <3

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I remember very clearly the day all started, years ago. You were in Beacon Hills, your hometown, right after the accident. You were in the hospital waiting for news from your parents when you saw the lovely nurse you met before. She was kneeling, trying to calm a kid your age. You walked over there and tried to help.

"Oh, hi sweetheart! This is Stiles. He's having a hard moment, I'll go with you when I finish." the boy stopped crying and opened his eyes, he was met by your comforting smile. He sniffed a little while you introduced yourself.

"Why are you sad?"

"My m-mom, she's very sick."

"I'm sorry to hear that. My parents are here, too. Maybe we could cheer each other. I-If you like of course." your chubby little cheeks turning rosy.

"Sure. That'll be awesome." his eyes were a lot less watery than before.

You too spend all the evening talking and distracting each others from your cruel reality. You really wanted to stay here forever and not confront your life or emotions. But forever seemed like a joke for you after that afternoon and the sweet nurse was coming to you with your aunt. You were sure that meant no good so you took the scarce time with the boy to say goodbye.

"I think they are coming for me, so I've got to go."

"But we were having a great moment." he pouted a little and you couldn't help but smile at him.

"Here." you handed him your bracelet made of gemstones. "If you ever feel panicked again this would help you." The boy looked at the clear and black crystals confused. "The dark ones are obsidian and the other is quartz, my granny told me they would keep away bad energies and attract good ones."

"Thank you very much." He was genuinely happy because, even if it worked or not, he had something to remember you.

"I'll never forget you." as you said this your aunt touched your shoulder and told you that you're going with her. You heard him say something under his breath but you didn't understand it.

Less than an hour later your parents had passed away in the hospital due to the injuries of the car accident. You had to move to the big city with your aunt. Years passed and your aunt found a better job offer in Beacon Hills. That and the delicate health of your grandma made you move back there.

You found yourself being friends with the popular girls of the school which was really strange to you, but they were nice. You also befriend one of his exes, Scott. You didn't want to make them uncomfortable but after a couple of months and some weird shit happening, all of you ended up in the same friend group. You learned that the supernatural existed and you thought the craziest thing that would happen to you here was when you started having a crush on one of your friends.

You lived near Scott, so you went to his house before Stiles picked you two up to the costume party in Lydia's house. You were greeted by his mom, you haven't met her in the couple months knowing him because you only went there a couple of times and she was working.

"Hi, sweetheart! I'm Melissa, you must be Scott's friend." you were paralyzed.

"Y-You-u." your face lost all its color.

"Are you alright?" she asked, reaching for you in case you passed out. You gulped and recovered yourself. When she saw you better she let you in and went for a glass of water.

"I'm sorry. It’s just... You were the nurse that calmed me years ago, the day my parents died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." she gave you an apologetical look, probably because of the trauma dumping and she not being able to remember you.

"Don't be. It doesn't affect me that much after all these years." she gave you an understanding smile. "I don't know if you remember but there was a boy there with me, his mother was sick. I always wondered what happened to him." In that exact moment Scott entered the kitchen, greeting you.

"Wow, your costume is really cool!"

"You don't know who I am, don't you?"

"Not a single idea, but it's still great."

"Thank you. I'm Padme by the way." you saw his confused look. "From Star Wars?" his face lightened up.

"No chance dude! Stiles is going as one character too!" you blushed, maybe it wasn't a couple one but you'll be matching costumes with the guy you liked.

"They're made for each other." Melissa said in a tone you barely heard because a honk overlapped it.

"That's him, we should get going." Scott made his way to the door while you turned to face his mother.

"I promise I'll tell you about the boy, now go and have fun!" you just met her again but it seemed as if you have known her a long time. You made your way out entering the jeep, not registering the boy at your side until he talked.

"W-Whoa. You're amazingly dressed as Padme." you frowned and turned to look at Stiles. First you notice his eyes wide and lips parted. Then you inspected his costume realizing.

"And you're going a-as Anakin." you surely looked like those cartoons with their eyes out because of the shock.

"What am I missing? Are you guys going like an accidental couple costume or something?" he said laughing but you both faced the windshield with your almost crimson cheeks not laughing at his joke too and he realized.

"No way! You are!" you made yourself little in your seat while you still heard Scott chuckling in the back. Stiles started the engine and his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

The way was a little uncomfortable, but between their talking, your silence and the music, your desires of drowning stopped. Just when Stiles parked you undid your seatbelt and opened the door.

"See you guys, I'm going to look for Ally and Lyds!" you almost ran until you found them.

"Girls red code!" you said a little too loud when you found them.

"Werewolves?" Allyson asked.

"Oh. No, no. I clearly should've not used those words."

"What is it then?"

"Isn't obvious?" the redhead interfered grinning. "Is a boy red code."

"Did Stiles finally kissed you and you did something stupid like run to us?"

"What? No! He doesn't like me. And why do you think I would mess that up?" that offensive supposition made you almost forget about the matter.

"And I'm black haired. Now go on." she said, rolling her eyes.

"StilesandIareaccidentallydressedasacouplecostume." you took a deep breath after that.

"Oh that." Lydia nudged Allyson.

"What? You knew?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I know you've been here long enough to take a shot and there's not even a drop of alcohol in you." you knew they knew something, but you needed that shot.

"Okay, I'll go to the kitchen but we'll talk about it." you went there and took a couple of shots before pouring a drink.

"Hey." you almost poured the cup when you heard his voice.

"Hi." you stopped your actions and took the filled plastic cup in your hand.

"What a coincidence this outfit choice."

"Yeah." you looked over the responsibles of it, even if you didn't know how.

"I mean if you're uncomfortable I have another costume in my house. I can go and change." you saw him looking at the floor and your heart skipped a beat.

"No! I mean, I don't have any issue at all."

"Thank goodness." He looked back at you. "When you ran away from Roscoe I thought you didn't wanna see me all night."

"It was just... Unexpected, but it's kinda nice." you saw the dimple you love appearing in his cheek.

"You look really badass in the Geonosis battle's outfit" he took a step closer.

"You don't look bad yourself, Skywalker" you slightly tugged his dark robe as if you were stretching it. You two were inches apart, your cup long lost on the countertop. He smelled heavenly and his warmth made you lean closer. You could swear he was also inching closer.

"You know, we should do a Star Wars marathon." he pulled apart scratching his nape.

"Yeah, totally." you couldn't help the disappointment slipping between your lips while you gazed at your cup. "You know, this was a lovely chat but I think the girls are waiting for me."

You took your drink and surrounded him, making your way out. You searched for any of your friends until you found someone. Not exactly who you had thought of, but the only one who wasn't inside the house. You sat at Scott's side on the wicker couch near the pool.

"How's it going little pupdawan?"

"You know only Stiles gets those jokes, right?"

"Right. But I was worrying about my friend, so tell me why you're here all alone."

"Nothing, just music sometimes gets too loud when you have super hearing."

"That makes sense."

"And what are you doing here? I doubt you were looking for me."

"Well, I could be!" your mouth opened by the offense.

"Of course, but it's a party. You usually are too drunk to remember anyone." you smacked his shoulder.

"I guess today I'm sober enough." you looked at your drink between your hands and he followed your eyes.

"You don't look in the mood. Is this because of Stiles?" your gaze returned to him, now confused.

"What?"

"I'm a werewolf, I have a pretty good hearing."

"You didn't have to eavesdrop!"

"I didn't want to, is like when you have the TV as noise but they say something that catches your attention." you nodded. "And I also can hear your heartbeat and smell some emotions."

"I guess it's difficult to have some secrets with supernatural friends. So I'm assuming Isaac also knows." It was his turn to nod. "So everyone in the pack knows." you put your head in your hand.

"Except him."

"Except him." your eyes went to the party inside.

"Maybe you should tell him."

"Scott, you're his best friend, you should know that's not gonna work. He's in love with Lydia. He sees me as a friend. That's just giving me false hopes. Like before, I was in the kitchen and he came and I thought he was going to kiss me but he backed out. He probably-"

"He almost kissed you?" he cut off your rambling.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you! He didn't want to kiss me. If he wanted he would have."

"You know what? Wait here." you were confused as you saw him enter the party.

Scott was taking his time so you rested your head on the back of the couch, staring at the stars. You heard the noise of the door closing and supposed it was him until you heard a tapping in the glass. You looked over and saw Scott at the other side of the glass and a very familiar back, knocking the pane.

"Stiles?" he turned around to face you.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here? Why isn't Scott coming?"

"He might have locked us out."

"Why-?" you cut yourself when you realized his not so subtle plan. "Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, this is my fault. I'm going to kill him."

"How could this be your fault? In any case it is mine."

"What? No, I was talking to him about an issue and he decided to handle it on his own."

"Am I the issue? I thought you were cool with the costumes."

"It's not that, it's just... Wait, why do you think this is your fault?"

"I... Uh... He wants me to confront a situation."

"Since we're stuck outside I guess I'm the one you have to confront."

"Kind of."

"So how do you feel, Sti?"

"What do you mean how do I feel?" he looked really nervous.

"I mean that if you have to confront someone is because you're feeling somehow about them, perhaps you're mad at me?"

"What? No, I don't think I could ever get mad at you."

"Then what is it? Did I make something that bothered you?"

"No."

"You don't like something about me? Do I breathe too loudly? I chew too noisily? I laugh too hard?"

"No. No. No. Please stop!" he took your shoulders.

"Is it my rambli-" you were cut again, but this time you didn't mind interruption because he was kissing you.

Stiles was kissing you. After the initial shock you relaxed and let both of your lips melt as if they were one. You thought them fusing would be the sweetest sentence. His hands gently took your face, deepening the kiss, and yours found their perfect spot in his chest. Then both of you slowly pulled away.

"So you had to discuss with me about kisses?"  you had the biggest smile which brightened more when you saw his upside-down one.

"I actually wanted to discuss which day you can come over for that marathon. As a date, of course." you touched your lip as if you were thinking while your heart felt like it was on a race.

"How about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds perfect." and he pecked you.

You were thrilled when you woke up that morning, you were going to have your first date with Stiles. He told you he would go to pick you up, but he needed to pass over Scott's for something his mom made, so you decided to meet there.

"Hey Melissa! Is Stiles here already?"

"Yes, Scott is with him in the kitchen helping him to put the tupperwares in a bag." when you both went there, she called your name.

"Do you want to know what happened to that boy?"

"Oh, yeah. I always worried about how he would be."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Do you have his number or address or something?"

"What are you talking about?" Stiles' curiosity intervened in your conversation.

"A boy I met when I used to live here. Right when my parents had the accident, he was in the hospital because of his mother's illness and I like to think we bonded. Melissa knows him so I asked about him."

"Wait, you gave him a bracelet?" you were beyond confused.

"Yes, it was made of quartz and-"

"Obsidian." he finished for you.

"How do you-" that's when it clicked to you. "It was you?"

"Yes, he was." Melissa interrupted this time.

"That explains why your name was so familiar!" you always thought you had heard his name before even being so rare, you just couldn't pinpoint where. You two headed out to the jeep to enjoy your date

"So you still got it?" he looked sad when you asked him.

"I wish. It broke the night we went to the forest and Scott was bitten. When we went the day after that I only found some of the crystals."

"I'm sorry, maybe we could do another one. I'm guessing it protected you since all of the supernatural started after." you smiled at him.

"Are you sure you didn't give me something made of rose quartz?"

"It was clear quartz. Do you even know what giving rose quartz means?" you were going to chuckle when he replied.

"Yes, that's why I'm asking." you really were shocked, that was the crystal for love and attraction, he was openly admitting his feelings to you. "That day after I met you, I did some research on crystals." he confessed a little awkwardly, clearly a little embarrassed.

"Wow. That's really sweet, Sti." you kissed his cheek. "So I guess there's nothing I can show you, little padawan."

You two made the way to his home talking about random things and the day before, you even told him the part where you met Scott outside, he laughed at your joke and your heart tightened at the sound.

I love my job, being able to bring two soulmates together, as you two. Making the opportunities happen, like the fact that you two went to the same hospital, you going back to Beacon Hills or even you two choosing the matching costumes. Maybe putting Lydia and Scott in his first full moon was a little far-fetched, but it was worth it. Some people call me Destiny or shorten it to Fate, others say I'm a red thread or even a golden invisible string, but it doesn't matter who I am, the only important thing is you two finally being with each other.

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a/n: I almost forgot to mention that this was inspired Taylor Swift’s song ‘Invisible string’ :)

#stiles stilinski x reader #stiles x reader #stiles stilinski fluff #stiles stilinski x you #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski fanfic #stiles x you #teen wolf #stiles fluff

[matthewkniesys]

where do we go now? - jamie drysdale

summary:

a/n: so firstly thank you @huggybearhughesy for your help!! this is based on the lyrics of gracie abrams song "where do we go now?". the lyrics are in bold. this isn't my favourite thing but i'm trying to push through a writers block so hopefully you guys like it :)

pairing: jamie drysdale x fem!reader

good riddance fic series

warnings: swearing and angst and i think thats it but lmk if you find anything else

You and Jamie go way back. Way, way back to when you were both in your moms stomachs. Your parents and Jamie’s parents were like those friend groups you see on TV. You know, the ones where both couples meet at college and then become an inseparable friend group and then move to the same city together and then raise their kids together.

And from the day you were born (3 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days after Jamie as he always reminds you), the two of you were inseparable. If you were at the pool Jamie was probably too. If Jamie was playing tag at recess you probably were too.  If Jamie had a hockey tournament chances were you were going to be there, at every game. And then as you grew older, if you were at a party Jamie was probably too. People knew that if they were looking for one of the two of you, all they had to do is ask the other one. That was the kind of bond you shared with your best friend.

Until the string that ties you two together started fraying. And then the string snapped all together.

24th Street

Where you held me, grabbed my arm

What a mental fire alarm

'Cause a lot of that felt wrong

After high school, you moved to Anaheim with Jamie. You didn’t think anything of it. At that point in your life all you knew was that you and Jamie weren’t going to break up. You would follow wherever he goes. It’s funny how you can be so sure of something and then all of a sudden you just aren’t anymore. It starts to feel wrong.

You two bought a small apartment on 24th street and for the first year it felt perfect. It was small and cozy and all you two really needed but at some point during the second year everything changed. 

You can’t exactly pinpoint the moment you started realizing this wasn’t it for you. That Jamie wasn’t gonna work out. That this wasn’t your forever. It probably wasn’t even one singular moment. It was lots of little ones all together that came crashing down. 

What you can pinpoint is the moment you realized you had to go. That you would suffocate if you stayed in this relationship any longer.

You came home after a horrible day at University and Jamie was there waiting. Like always. He was perfect like that. He never did anything wrong and he could always pick up on the queues that you weren’t having a great day. That used to feel like everything you needed but not anymore. Now it just felt predictable and boring. It felt like there was no passion left. No fire burning between the both of you.

“Hi babe. Bad day?” Jamie asks, after you let out a long sigh dumping all your stuff on the ground.

You make a little noise of acknowledgement, not even having the energy to talk to Jamie and that’s the part where it starts creeping up on you. The fact you don’t even want to talk to the person who supposedly means the most to you. The person who should be the love of your life.

The moment it slams into you though is when he comes up to you and wraps you in his arms. It should be comforting after all these years but in reality it feels like you’re drowning. It triggers something in your brain. You’re overwhelmed with the need to escape. Since when did being in Jamie’s arms, the arms of your boyfriend but more than anything your best friend start to feel so wrong?

Like I miss you

But when I kissed you back, I lied

You don't know how hard I tried

Had to fake the longest time

 After that day you tried so hard to stay. You ignored that little voice telling you to get out and run as fast as you can. But you could only take so much. You had love for Jamie still. That much was true but you missed it when you felt so utterly consumed by him. When you constantly wanted to be around him. You missed that part of your relationship with him.

Every hug, every kiss, every word felt wrong. Felt fake. 

You always hugged him and kissed him back. You tried to salvage what was there with the two of you. You pretended to yourself that you thought you could fix it, that maybe if you faked long enough it would become real  but you always knew you couldn’t. You were lying to yourself. There had never been an ending that ended with Jamie. It wasn’t in the cards with you.

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

One January night you were laying in bed, unable to fall asleep. Next to you your boyfriend was sleeping soundly, completely unaware that anything was wrong. You toss and turn and avoid thinking about the fact that you shouldn’t be here and that Jamie deserves to know that you don’t love him like that anymore. He deserves the world, you just won’t be the one to give it to him.

Slowly you feel Jamie stirring on the other side of the bed. He gets up and looks over at you, groggily.

He yawns and says, “Hey babe, what are you doing up?”

You look into your boyfriend's pretty eyes and in that moment you know you can’t do it anymore. There isn’t anywhere for you two to go. What you have or had is over now and you need to end it.

Tears well in your eyes and you take a deep breath, knowing that in the next moment you were going to break the heart of the boy you used to love most.

“Jamie… I can’t do this anymore. It isn’t fair to you because you did nothing wrong but to stay wouldn’t be fair to me either. I have to leave. This doesn’t feel right anymore. There isn’t anywhere for this relationship to go that wouldn’t end in heartache. I love you, Jamie and I will forever but I have to do what is right for me.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything at first, just lets the tears fall. After a moment he says, “I could feel you pulling away but I wanted to ignore it but I guess I can’t anymore. I don’t wanna let you go. And I know that’s not fair but I love you. There won’t be anyone but you.”

“Yes there will be, Jamie. There will be someone because we weren't meant for each other. There is nowhere for us to go.”

I know I changed overnight

So I can't blame you for fightin'

And I'd be losin' my mind

If you lived in your writin’

The days that follow are hard. You have to keep living in the apartment until you find other living conditions and Jamie is convinced he can find a way to make work. He just can’t see that the best of your relationship was behind and that’s where you had to leave it. Nothing good would come from trying to salvage this.

“Why are you just giving up on us?” Jamie says one day out of the blue while you two eat summer in silence.

“I am giving up because after spending so long trying to stay, I have to give up for the both of us. And I know to you it seems like I just flipped a switch and overnight decided this wasn’t good anymore but I’ve been thinking about us for a while.” You pause, “Honestly, Jamie I’m surprised you're not the one frustrated with me because lately I've been so caught up in my school work I barely even have time to spend with you. Isn’t that driving you crazy?”

“No, it’s not because I just need your presence. That’s enough for me. And I understand why you’re so busy. It’s not like you’re purposely avoiding me.”

“The last few months though, I have been avoiding you.”

'Cause now I'm half of myself here without you

You're the best in my life and I lost you

And we had no control when it fell through

It was one-sided, hate how I hurt you

The next month is a blur. Between finding your own place and being busier than ever with school, you don’t have tons of time to think about Jamie but when you do there’s a sinking feeling in your gut. 

You don’t regret ending it but you miss the friendship, the special bond that had been between you two since you were kids. You haven’t been apart from him for this long ever and it feels like a part of you is missing. 

Jamie has always been the best in your life. The amazing boy that every girl wishes was theirs but he had always been fully yours. Until now when you set him free.

You wish you hadn’t had to hurt him. He didn’t deserve it but you didn’t deserve to be trapped either. He had no control over the situation. He couldn’t have prevented what happened. It was one sided and it sucks but it's the truth.

If I could, I'd have changed every feelin'

Reservations were up to the ceilin'

Guess the space was the thing that I needed

But I miss you

“Hey y/n. Uh it’s Jamie. Sorry to bother you by calling. I just need to know one thing. And then I can move on. I can pretend I don’t feel like I’m drowning. Did you wish it could’ve been different? If you could've, would you have changed your feelings?”

 After a shaky breath from Jamie, silence fills the air. You’ve listened to this voice message he sent you at least twenty times at this point. You have memorized it but can’t stop replaying it.

The simple answer is yes. Yes, you would’ve done anything in your power to still love Jamie but it doesn’t matter because you couldn’t. It isn’t how the world works.

You tell exactly that to Jamie over the phone the next day  and he says nothing. He listens and then hangs up, leaving you to hope he’ll be okay.

Being apart from him has shown you, you made the right decision but that doesn’t make it hurt less. You still miss him. He was, after all, your best friend since the beginning and you no longer have each other. That’s…a lot to take in.

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

In the last month Jamie has asked himself over and over and over again what he could’ve done to make you stay. He comes up empty every time because he did everything right. Just wasn’t enough he guesses.

He doesn’t know where to go anymore because before it was always to you. You were his light in the dark. He used to follow that brightness but now that light has run out of power and he’s left to stumble through the darkness alone.

He will be okay, he just has to figure where to go now. Which way it is to escape the black and reemerge in the light.

good riddance fic series

thanks for reading🫶requests are always open for fics, blurbs, ig edits and just thoughts!!

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots @h0e4fictionalme-n @ivy-34 @jayisamirrorball @diary-of-jj @nicojackl0v3r

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#claire's good riddance fic series #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #x reader #claire tries writing <3

[helvonasche]

i quit?

Update: Privated all my fics, deleted everything from AO3. If you want a copy of anything, let me know, but I'm gonna be real picky about who I give copies of anything to.

Now that I've got your attention: I'm quitting fanfic, not writing.

Not deleting my blog or AO3, either, and I'll still be here.

Most of my stories will be staying right where they currently are. I've deleted any posts that are too personal, and this includes a couple fics. If you notice something is missing or a link has broken, please let me know so I can fix it. I still have copies of everything.

So don't be a cuck and ruin this for everyone else. I want to leave this up because I've had my heart broken by writers deleting everything, but I also understand that impulse.

If not writing fics then what? Books.

The reason I started writing fics in the first place was to practice writing and hopefully get better. But at some point I do have to walk away. I'm still gonna be on Tumblr though. And if you wanna ask about book stuff.. do it?

Emotions and reasons below the cut, but that's it. I'm done posting fics, but still vaguely here.

Ugh. Feelings. Fine.

Basically, I've spent most of a year trying to finish the fics I had left and I can't do it. I've sat at the computer for hours, made and remade plans, tried everything I could find for writer's block, drove my friends fucking nuts, had panic attacks... fuck, dude, I've talked to a fucking therapist about it.. and I barely finished Of The Abyss.

I also just had a fucking shitty year. It nearly killed me, not being melodramatic or using hyperbole. I thought I'd lost everything on three separate occasions in only 8 months. It's changed my perspective on a lot of things, but mostly on how I spend my time.

As terrifying as it is to walk away from the vague comfort that is posting fics on Tumblr, the reason I write has also changed.

But the reason I struggled with quitting fics and have tried to keep posting is because I love this stupid place. Don't get me wrong, the bots and staff suck and some people too, but there's so much good here and I will miss that more than.. fuck. There really aren't words for this. Um.. I'm devastated and crying while writing this? It fucking sucks.

I've made friends here. Real ones. Not going to tag, but you know who you are. You have my address. You know my real name. You've probably spoken on the phone to me. And a very very few have met me. Even the people I don't talk to for any number of reasons (mostly because I can be a shitty friend), you're all wonderful and gave me hope that life isn't as awful as it seemed.

You saved me.

Thank you for giving a creep a chance.

And before anyone can ask or point out that I've been struggling with writing... I have been writing. Just not fanfic.

There's more I want to say, but I'm calling it. Going to stop crying and eat something, then write a book.

<3 hel.

#last update for a while #hopefully not too long

[barbex]

Lovely Friday to you <3 For DADWC, I'd love to see “Stay here tonight.” for Anders and Fenris? <3

Hello and thank you for this prompt for @dadrunkwriting. As always, Fenris and Anders were very inspiring.

---

Anders still can't quite believe it. Fenris invited him to a game of cards with Varric and Donnik, at his place. He stares at the weathered door of the mansion, still not sure if he should really go in. Why would Fenris invite him, without Hawke around? It makes no sense. 

Their friendship — no, that is too much. Their mutual tolerance depends on their friends being around, especially Hawke. Aside from Hawke's frankly terrifying proficiency with force magic, he also has the ability to form a bunch of weirdos into a group of friends. It even works on Fenris and him, the two of them haven't fought in months. It's like a special kind of magic he has.

Anders finally opens the door, clutching the handkerchief with his contribution for the evening to his chest. He can't afford to buy the fancy wine Fenris prefers, but hopefully, the cheese fingers he baked in Lirene's oven are good enough as a small gift. 

Voices come from the main hall and the light of a fire shines into the hallway through a gap in the door. Anders walks forward, drawn to the warmth promised by the fire. The wind from the Waking Sea blows through Kirkwall's streets at this time of the year, even in his coat he feels cold all the time.

Before the others can notice him, he stops near the door, hidden from view. He still feels like an intruder, like he doesn't really belong here. He often feels like that to be honest. It's only when Hawke is around, pulling them all into his orbit, that he doesn't feel like he's the nagging baggage they have to carry around. 

Varric laughs, recounting some tale to Donnic, pouring wine into his glass. Donnic's face is flushed, they must have started early if he is already so deep in his cups. Anders sighs, no, it must be later than he thought. It was a busy day at the clinic and then that young woman came in with her baby, just as he wanted to close. He lost track of time and now he's too late.

He looks at Fenris, sitting on the narrow side of the table, facing the door. He looks relaxed, not quite as flushed as Varric and Donnic, but he is in better training holding his wine. He smiles at the joke Varric is making and Maker, it's unbearable how beautiful he looks with that smile. Anders stands transfixed, hiding in the shadow, watching like a kid staring at a bowl of sweets he can't have. Like a creep. 

He should leave. 

But he made the cheese fingers. Maybe Fenris would like to try them. He doesn't have to stay long, just give him the cheesy things and be off again.

With a breath, he pulls the door further open and steps in. 

"Anders," Varric calls out, "glad you could make it!"

"Sorry I'm late. There was an emergency at the clinic..." He makes to put the handkerchief with his offering on the table when he sees the loose pile of Diamondback cards. "You wanted to play Diamondback." The game needs four players and because he didn't arrive on time, they couldn't play. "Sorry." 

"It was no problem," Fenris says. "We were entertained just fine." His voice sounds so warm that Anders blinks, doubting his own ears. 

"Well, still, I shouldn't have left you hanging." He puts the handkerchief on the table and folds the corner to the sides, revealing the fereldan speciality. "These are cheese fingers, like they make them in Ferelden. Let me know if you like them." He turns around and practically runs to the door.

"Mage?" Fenris calls after him but he doesn't stop. He embarrassed himself enough for one night, he doesn't need more awkwardness and polite dismissals.

"Mage." Fenris is right behind him, however he managed to be so fast. "Anders."

Hearing his name, from Fenris of all people, has him stop, just before he reaches the frontdoor. "Sorry, I'm just gonna leave."

"Why?"

A strange laugh escapes him. Maker, is he going to get hysterics now? "I don't know why you even invited me, I'm sure Varric and Donnic wonder about that too."

"No, they don't." 

Another strange laugh, sounding suspiciously like he's about to start crying and no, he's not going to do that. "I'm..."

"We are friends, with or without Hawke." Fenris puts his hand on Anders' elbow and gently steers him back towards the main hall. "Maybe you and I are not close, not yet. But what better way to change that than over wine and cheese pokers?"

"Fingers, cheese fingers," Anders corrects automatically, his mind still spinning in several directions over what Fenris said. There are questions bubbling in there somewhere but he can't get himself to ask any of them and then he is back at the table, sitting in a sinfully comfortable stuffed chair and Fenris fills a glass of wine for him. 

The wine makes everything a little bit easier, but with his Warden stamina and Justice in the background, he doesn't get drunk. But he can play an easy drunk, he's done that plenty of times and it makes it easy to laugh about silly jokes that aren't even that funny but Varric laughs and Donnic laughs and Fenris — Fenris looks at him and smiles.

It's enough to stop a man's heart.

The evening progresses quickly, his cheese fingers get praised, and at some point Fenris brings a carafe of water and Anders and him switch to water instead of wine. When Varric yawns and Donnic wipes his eyes, Anders fills their glasses with water. "There, you both drink that, then you won't suffer so much in the morning."

"Ugh, don't like that," Varric slurs. 

"Healer's orders."

Fenris glances at Anders, smiling as if they share a joke between them. Like friends. He isn't sure his heart can take much more of this. What is happening? Is Fenris really looking at him like that, smiling, flirting? Or is this just his wishful imagination?

"We should take them both home," Fenris says. 

"Good idea. They would be easy pickings in this state."

They deliver Donnic to Aveline's door, who thanks them and glares at her husband with a mixture of fondness and annoyance. And then they drag Varric between them to the Hanged Man. He insists on bidding them good night at the door, wanting to keep his reputation by going to his suite without their help. 

And then they're alone. They walk, silently, back to Hightown, to Fenris' mansion. Which is ridiculous, he could have just taken one of the ladders down to Darktown from Lowtown. He could have just given his farewells right there at the Hanged Man, like he has done hundreds of times after an evening with Hawke and Varric and the rest of the gang. 

"Your cheese pokers were really good," Fenris says, haltingly. 

"Cheese fingers. Thanks. I found the recipe in a cookbook at an inn in Ferelden and making the cheese fingers paid for a bed for one night." 

"You were a baker?" Fenris smiles at him from under a curtain of white hair, which hopefully hides Anders' furious blush from him.

"No, there's not many opportunities for travelling bakers without their own flour supply." They fall silent again and the awkwardness drives him crazy. "Fenris, thank you for inviting me tonight, but..." As if someone tipped over a bucket, rain splatters down on them. "Aw, shit." Within seconds, his coat is soaked, hanging like dead weight on his shoulders. 

"Come." Fenris grabs his arm and pulls him forward, running up the stairs and through the grand roads of Hightown. The wind picks up as thunder rolls over the sky and Anders would have shivered if he wasn't so hot from running up those damn stairs. 

"Stop, stop," he wheezes. Rain runs down his neck and back but he doesn't care, he has to catch his breath for a minute. Why is he even doing this? "You... you can just go, right? You don't need me to take you home. And I'm —"

Fenris steps in front of him, staring at him with wide eyes. "No."

"No?" Anders wipes wet hair from his forehead. By now he must look like a drowned rat. "Fenris, what is going on? What is..." he gestures between them. "What is this?"

The expression on Fenris' face lies somewhere between confusion and panic. "I hoped you would know."

"Me?" He can't help but laugh, genuinely. "You don't even know what an emotional disaster I am. And I'm supposed to know?"

Fenris just looks at him. 

"Fuck it. If I'm supposed to know, here's what I know." Anders steps closer, touches the side of Fenris' face, and kisses him. 

Fenris doesn't even hesitate. As if he just waited for Anders, he throws his arms around Anders' neck and kisses him back like his life depends on it. 

"Oh," Anders breathes against Fenris' lips. 

"Yes," Fenris whispers, pressing his forehead against Anders'. "Come." He takes Anders' hand and pulls him after him.

The rain still beats down, but Anders floats on clouds, not even aware of where he's going. Finally, the door to the mansion closes behind them and he can let the weight of his wet coat slide from his shoulders. 

Fenris wipes over Anders' shoulders, pressing close. Anders leans down, brushing his nose into his hair.

"I don't want to be indecent," Anders says. "But we should get out of these wet things."

Fenris nods, stepping closer and pressing a kiss to Anders' neck. "I don't mean to rush, but I want you to stay here."

"Tonight," Anders whispers as his lips brush over Fenris' temple.

"And tomorrow night." Fenris kisses along Anders' neck. "And the night after that."

Anders shudders from Fenris' kisses. "And the night after that?"

Fenris leans back, green eyes fixing Anders in time and space. "And the night after that."

Brushing hair out of Fenris' face, Anders holds his gaze. "And then we'll see."

Stretching up on his toes, Fenris kisses his lips. "Yes, and then we'll see."

#dadrunkwriting #fenders #Fenris #Anders #fenders fic #Fenris x Anders #dragon age #dragon age fanfiction #my writing

[shady-lemur]

Stargirl ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Thank you guys for the support on the last part!! Hopefully I can figure out a schedule of posting soon lmao, happy pride month!!

Ellie x reader

Part 1, Part 2!!, part 3

Also tell me why it took literally over 10 minutes for me to figure out the link thing omfg why am I old

After the encounter with your ex, Ellie, you try your best to avoid anything to do with her. But with your luck...

You hum along to the song playing through your speaker as you scroll instagram. You've basically put yourself in house arrest other than going to work ever since seeing Ellie. You couldn't trust yourself not to get into a situation where you needed saving again.

Your breath hitches when you see Dina's post. It's her and Ellie sitting on Ellie's couch with cards against humanity spread out on her coffee table. JJ, Dina's son, is sleeping in Ellie's arm. You study the way Ellie's eyes squint as she smiles at the camera. The caption says, "mommy material"

"Fucking mommy material? She isn't even girlfriend material." (I love salty y/n) you grumble and like the picture before turning your phone off. Maybe it's time to finally go out again.. You didn't have work tomorrow..

About a half an hour later, your looking at your ass in the mirror. Making sure that your black dress covers enough but not too much, maybe you'll even meet someone tonight. You've decided on going to a new bar tonight, their website says they have musicians that come in on Fridays so it'll be a chill place to relax.

You pick up your bag and lace your new converse before leaving your apartment.

Your sitting on one of the leather couches that face the stage drinking a (drink of choice) when you hear a familiar voice saying hi to the bartender. You turn you head around and see the one and only Dina!! She must of felt your eyes on her because she turn her head and her eyes immediately lit up. "Y/n!!! Baby!"

You smile as she runs over and sits next to you, giving you a side hug. "I haven't seen you in fucking forever! How are you?"

After you and Ellie broke up, you stopped hanging out with a lot of your friends too. It was too awkward for you. But they never stopped caring about you, it was hard for you to come to terms with that.

"I'm okay! I've just been working a lot recently.. I haven't had a chance to check this place out yet." Dina nods and rests her head on your shoulder. "It's really nice here. I come here every Friday to see-" she stops mid sentence and slowly turns her head up to look at you with wide eyes. You hear someone else on the stage setting up but you keep your eyes on Dina's thinking face.

You tilt your head as she puts her hand over her mouth, "wait.. do you know that-"

She's cut off by another familiar sound. The song Ellie wrote for you on your one year anniversary, you guys stayed up all night writing lyrics for it. You whip your head back to the stage and your face drops, "oh my fucking god."

Dina starts to laugh uncomfortably st the situation, "um- we can leave and I can take you to another really good place, they have burgers! Ellie will understand if I leave-"

You can barely hear what Dina's saying. It's just you and Ellie now. The song you've heard so many times and Ellie's soft voice coming through the speakers, you might even be singing the song quietly too. She opens her eyes and immediately meets yours. You hear her voice falter but she keeps eye contact as she sings.

Ellie goes back stage after a few more songs and you are finally snapped back into reality. In reality, you're sobbing. Dina's rubbing your back comfortingly and is holding your head as you lean it against her shoulder.

You look up at her and take a deep breath, "I should get out of here- I'm sorry Dina. It was nice seeing you." She let's you go but holds your wrist so you turn back to her. She sighs, "let's not be strangers anymore, mkay? I want you to meet JJ." You smile sadly at her and nod, "yeah, um.. text me?"

She smiles and let's you go as you try to RACE OUTTA THERE!! YOU GOTTA GO BEFORE ELLIE COMES OUT!!

You're out the door and halfway to your car before you hear your name being called. Fuck. "Y/n! Can we talk please, I hate the way I reacted-"

You turn around, giving Ellie a view of your tear stained face. "What the fuck are you doing singing that fucking song?" Ellie furrows her brows, "what the fuck do you mean?"

"That's our song Ellie. Why are you still playing it?" You see Ellie scoff a little before taking a deep breath. "Can we talk? I can explain things better than we aren't standing in the middle of the fucking sidewalk." She kicks a rock.

You have to think very hard about this. It'll be embarrassing if you start to fight in a restaurant or park, going to each other's apartments is too intimate, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss talking to Ellie (even if she doesn't know that ha..ha.ha..).

"Okay."

"Okay?!"

You sigh, "We'll meet at the river. tomorrow at 6?"

She smiles and almost chuckles a little bit, "yeah that's great.."

What the hell did you get yourself into?

You and Ellie had a special spot near the river since your first date. It was a rundown, abandoned shed type thing that you made your own. Ellie added a loveseat and a coffee table, you added battery powered fairy lights and some tapestries.

Ellie's already sitting on the loveseat when you get there. Her hair is pull up into that half up half down style that she always does, you can see her white tank top under her brown flannel, her sleeves are rolled up to show off her tattoo, and she's MAN SPREADING. She definitely knew what she was doing.

"Hi." You say, awkwardly sitting as far away from her as you can and putting down the cut up fruit your brought as a peace offering. She smiles and wipes her hands of her pants, "hey.."

You notice the two drinks on the coffee table, she grabs one and hands it to you, "this still your favorite?" You nod and smile slightly at her.

After a few seconds of silence she speaks, "I started therapy about a month ago. I'm going once a week." You look at her and smile, "that's great Ellie. I'm happy for you."

She nods and looks down at her hands, "um, I'm sorry about what I said. It isn't true, I just let my frustration speak for me. And I'm sorry for literally making your life a living hell for the last year we were together. I had a lot of shit I needed to deal with and you didn't deserve that."

The truth is, you'd forgiven her a long time ago. All you wanted for her was happiness and seeing her apologizing is proof that she is getting better.

You take a sip of your drink and meet her eyes, "thank you for apologizing. That means a lot. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions when you literally picked me up off the side of the road and let me sleep in your bed."

"Truce?"

".. Truce."

She smiles at you and leans back on the couch. "Soo, what've you been up too?"

You shrug, "nothing really.. I got hired full-time by the high school. I've been teaching a bunch of 10th graders literature and getting piss drunk."

Ellie's eyes light up, "seriously?? Y/n that's fucking amazing!! Not the getting piss drunk part but you've been waiting so long for an opening." You laugh and nod, "it's fun, the kids really like me."

In all seriousness the excitement on Ellie's face makes you want to grab her and kiss her. Buuut, you know you shouldn't...

"What about you?"

"I got promoted at work, I got a really good raise. Joel wants me to start learning how to run the place so he can retire soon." You grin at her, "ooh, little Ellie's gonna run a whole auto shop by herself" you wiggle your eyebrows and she playfully hits your arm.

"Shut up!!" Her cheeks are tinted red as you laugh. "And what if I don't?"

Ellie pauses and looks at you, you watch as her eyes travel down your lips but quickly make their way back up. "I'll give you discounts on repairs." You're lips are ZIPPED because that shit is expensive.

Ellie snorts and gets a grape from your container. You both just sit in silence for a little bit as you watch her. You're both studying each other's faces, thinking of all the times your lips have connected and your hands have touched her cheeks.

You take another sip of your drink and spill it all over your white long sleeve shirt. "Fuck!"

Ellie grabs the drink and sets it back down, looking around for some way to dry your shirt. "Um, fuck we don't have any napkins here"

You shake your head, "it's fine, it'll just air dry, this shirt was like 5 dollars anyway." Ellie furrows her eyebrows and starts to take off her flannel, "it's too cold, you can change into this." She hands it to you and turns around to give you privacy.

"Are you sure? You're gonna be cold just in a tank top."

Ellie shakes her head, "don't worry about me, I want you to be warm."

About an hour and a half later you're sleeping. Your head in Ellie's lap so comfortably as she traces circles on your arm. She huffs and looks at the time,

8:37 pm

Ellie didn't want to wake you but she also was freezing her ass off as it get colder. She carefully gets up, picks you up bridal style, and carries you to her car. You'd taken an uber here so you didn't have to worry about your car being left here.

She sets you down in the passenger seat and you slowly open your eyes, "what're you doing?"

Ellie smiles and buckles your seat belt, "I'm gonna take you home, I don't want you taking an Uber when your this tired. Can I have your apartment building?"

You blink a few times before smiling and nodding, "thank you els. My building is the one by Nico's bar." She nods and closes your door before getting in her side and starting the car.

Even though she kept herself calm, Ellie was over the moon. You called her els. A nickname she hadn't been called ever since you broke up.

Ellie didn't care if she was your girlfriend or not. All she cared about was getting you back into her life, I think she succeeded?

You turn in your seat and look at her, "can we be friends?"

She glaces at you and smiles, "fuck yeah."

Not for long HaHaHaHa... 😈

Waaaa I hope this is good... I feel like the ending was a little bit rushed!! There will be a part 3, hopefully they kiss! I wnat to see them kiss!!

I'm getting surgery tomorrow so hopefully it doesn't mess up the writing of part 3 too much!

I love you all so much, please ask if you want to be on the taglist for the next part and feel free to give me suggestions and shit. (^з^)-☆Chu!!

Taglist <3

@gold-dustwomxn @catostrophiclesbian @ellieswifee @unstablefemme

ily girlies

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou part 2 #tlou fic #ellie x fem reader #kiss kiss kiss kiss #stargirl series

[sp1drrthwips]

━━ ch☆r's req ! 💌❄️

a/n : soz im not sleeping YET

anyways

phoenix x gn!reader ( Romantic )

UHHH I COULDNT REALLY THINK BUT SMTG WITH JEALOUSY ???!!

nah its actually just a secret relationship with her & jake flirts with reader calling those sweet nicknames and phoenix hearing him and comes up to reader and shows off their relationship by kissing them

[ this was so hard to write i cringed so much but ig this is short but hopefully u can make it longer ]

- charlie <3

TAKEN

natasha 'phoenix' trace x gn reader ; fluff

summary — ( read req )

content / cws — hangman and his horrible attempts at flirting (yes he has his own warning deal with it), hangman makes a suggestive remark about r

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

natasha smirked, making eye contact with you as she walked into the hard deck, her squadron pushing past her and right into the bar. they were always here the same time, ordering the same drinks, at the same time of week.

out of all the aviators you had enter your mother's bar, phoenix was the one that caught your attention, she was the most put together, and one of the sweetest. you had spent most of your time exchanging small smirks and glances with her, until she eventually had enough and asked you out. that was roughly four months ago.

your eyes followed her as she walked past you and to the pool table her squad usually hung out at. you smiled to yourself, handing out a drink to a random guy to ignore the holes your mother was probably burning into the side of your head with her staring. she had told you not to fall for an aviator, but she didn't tell you how god damn gorgeous they would be.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

the rest of her stay was the same as always, you'd share knowing glances every time you handed a beer out to somebody in her direction, but eventually, she got up to talk to some other aviators nearby the dart board.

"hey, sweetcheeks, we'll have another round of beers." you'd been called that more times than you could keep score of, and every time it somehow got more bitter than the last. you picked up a couple more beers, absentmindedly handing them off to the man, keeping your eyes locked on natasha.

expecting the man to be already gone, you got a bit startled when his voice came back, "what's with the look, sweetheart?" you looked at him, noticing his uniform and pin that had 'seresin' engraved into it.

"oh— just, thinking." yeah, about natasha you flashed him a fake smile, which you had mastered after months of dealing with men and women flirting with you.

"well why don't you come think over here, i'm sure penny dear wouldn't mind if you hung out with me and my friends for a bit." trying your best not to visibly cringe, you gave him another fake smile, "actually, i've gotta go get some more beers."

"i'm willing to wait till you get back." you sighed, letting out a fake laugh before politely declining and heading to the storage room.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

"hey," now that. that startled you. shifting the crate of beers in your hands, you slightly looked up, noticing it was that seresin guy again. "sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

you gave him yet another fake smile, walking straight past him as he continued trying to make conversation. "told you i'd wait." god, does he ever know when to stop?

heading straight back to the counter, you continued to ignore his comments, acting as if the music was too loud for you to hear.

"cmon, at least let me introduce my friends to who i'll be taking home later." now that made you visibly cringe. it was always the same, some dude thought he was coming up with an original flirting remark only for you to have heard it a plethora of times. not only did it make you visibly cringe, but it also caught natasha's attention, especially since she heard it come from hangman.

placing the crate of beers down on the counter, you agreed with a sigh. you don't know why you agreed, or even followed him at that, normally you'd go over and ring the bell to have him pay for everyone's drinks. honestly, a part of you just hoped that you might be able to see natasha for a moment.

unlike you hoped, natasha wasn't there. instead, you were met with a bunch of —what you assumed were— aviators, that were definitely not natasha.

"fellas, this is [n], who i charmingly swooned with my good looks." instead of the response hangman was hoping to get out of his friends, he was met with snickering and smirks. he turned around, his smile immediately faltering at the sight.

you smiled, feeling a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist and turn you to the side, followed by a pair of lips connecting to yours for a kiss you'd be sure to think about for the rest of the week.

your cheeks flushed and you hid your face in natasha's neck when she pulled away, a shit-eating grin staining her lips — "sorry not sorry bagman, but you're gonna have to find someone else to take home, [n] here is taken."

"go back to the counter, baby, i'll deal with bagman." and with that she let you out of her embrace, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before you headed back the counter.

noticing your mother staring at you with her eyebrow raised and hands to her hips, you sighed, before shaking your head in embarrassment. oh boy, she was definitely gonna give you a lecture later.

#natasha phoenix trace #natasha trace #top gun phoenix #natasha phoenix trace x reader #natasha trace x reader #top gun phoenix x reader #top gun hangman #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #top gun maverick #₊˚⊹ᰔ requests .ᐟ

[jpitha]

Just a Little Further 23

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

It's still early, so we go and find a cafe and have lunch. Once again, I don't have to use my voice, they just give us our meal for free. I really should get an idea about money though. I know they are called Skys, I know at least part of them are small green metallic coins - actually they look like the same metal the Throne and Chairs are made out of, I wonder if they are - and I know that everyone uses them here to buy stuff. I should ask about banks. We should pay a visit to one. I'm sure they'd be... happy to explain it to me.

That's for later though. For now, we work our way to the dock, and find the internal docking bay that Omar found.

Walking in, it becomes clear that we have a lot of work ahead. High Line is in here thanks to Omar earlier and it's...

It's junk.

Even when it was operating, it was clearly made up of a hodgepodge of between three and five different starships. This thing has been limping along on patches and ad hoc repairs for centuries it looks like.

Human ships from our side of the galaxy tend to be very personalized. Riots of color, patterns, little flourishes here and there that speak to the tastes and preferences of the operator. It's probably a function of the fact that all our ships are AI operated. It's their body, and they decorate and personalize it.

High Line is... downright drab in comparison.

Grey on grey with streaks of soot and... is that rust? It looks like rust. What would rust on a spacecraft hull? High Line is all boxes and blocks stuck together where they fit or where a need was found. I'm much more used to the sweeping, flowing shapes the Starjumpers have. In addition to looking fast, they look much more elegant. Even our smaller ships, the Frigates and Destroyers tend towards looking more like living creatures than... a box.

As I walk around staring at things and - apparently - making a sour face, Starlight, Ocean and River are standing there, looking nervous and worried. "So Empress... Here is High Line. We admit, it's a little more worse for wear than the ship you came to us on, but.." Starlight stands a little taller. "It got my forebears here all those years ago and through all that time put many light-years on it shuttling people around the system and still held air and gravity. It's not much to look at, but it was ours."

I mean, they're right. Maybe I'm being too hard on it. They got centuries of use out of with with barely any maintenance. All the more reason to refit it right and make it soar once again.

Omar seems like he's having a great time. Walking around, taking measurements going in and out. "Melody, it might not be much to look at now, but it's actually a pretty good foundation! We can add some improved thrusters, beef up the armor, add a wormhole generator and some laser batteries and while we won't be able to take on a dreadnought or even a Starjumper, we'll be able to hold our own against anything local we've seen. It's got plenty of room inside too. You won't have a suite of rooms like at the Royal Dawn, but I should be able to make you an... appropriately royal room.

"At this point a starship is better than no starship so I'll take what I can get. How long will the refit take, Omar?"

He looks at the ship, at the Aviens and then at me. "It will depend on their printer and how well we can integrate the designs from my copy of the database but maybe a month? Hopefully less?"

"Well then, you had better get started Omar. You spend your time getting High Line up to your satisfaction, and let me know about your progress. For now, we will be staying at the Royal Dawn. I don't know if there's other royal quarters that we just haven't found or if the hotel is made out of the original royal quarters, but I'm satisfied with our current accommodations. Make your own schedule and if you need something or someone, just let me know. Starlight" - I look pointedly at them - "can help you with any personnel needs you have." Starlight bobs their head eagerly. "If you need to speak to me or the others, you should be able to though the Reach. Just... concentrate and it should work."

"Okay Melody, I'll get on it. Come on Starlight, show me the printer. Ocean, go see what kind of help you can find for us. River, go see about the condition of the other starships. Some of them have to be operable, how else is food getting here?" Omar looks up at us as the Aviens run off in different directions to obey Omar. "What happened to Ottarn, that Mariens who took their ship and tried to run? If nothing else, we could use that ship."

"They went with FarReach. They told me that they scooped up Ottarn and their ship and were going to take them where they wanted to go."

"Hmm, do you think that means back to human space?" Um'reli asks and she's looking at the ship.

"I have no idea, I don't think so? I'm not sure what they'd find out there to benefit them."

This time Ava puts her hands on her hips and stares at us. "You mean, other that some sympathetic ears to listen to their story about a human who has installed herself as Empress in their space and might be willing to lend a hand with a couple of Starjumpers and their assorted lasers and missiles? You did lock the Gate after FarReach left, right?"

Uh oh. I forgot.

"Uh, sure thing Ava, let me just go... double check that it's locked. I reach out and I can feel the Gate from here though it's faint and... fuzzy. The lock was simple enough though I push here... pull that... and...

"Okay, yes, it's locked."

"Good. We don't want Ottarn coming back with reinforcements or something just yet. Later though... let them come. We'll show them." Ava's grin is worrying me a little bit. She seems much too excited about showing off.

I grab Ava and Um'reli "Come on, let's leave Omar to his work. We have other things to take care of. I think we're going to have to hire on some help, but before that we're going to have to figure out money."

Ava scoffs as we walk "You're still going on about money? Just make people help us out."

"Ava we're looking to help out here, not be overthrown in a couple weeks. If I make people help us, the moment we walk away people will start to wonder why they're helping us at all."

"Melody has a point Ava. What is it that we do here?" Um'reli is really good at throwing cold water on Ava's plans. I'm glad she came. Without her I have a hunch that Ava would be talking me into all kinds of bad ideas.

"Builders seem to work like the AIs on Starbases back home. So it's not like we have no job."

"Well then, let's go back to the Throne and do some work. I'm tired of walking around trying to mooch free stuff from people because they're scared of Melody." Um'reli stars walking back towards the Throne. I really don't have anything else to do, so I follow. "You coming, Ava?"

"I guess. I don't have anything else to do." Ava looks around somewhat wistfully and follows. I wonder what she was hoping to do instead. Probably have me order people to give her something.

As we walk into the entryway to the Throne - there's still no back door, I really need to find one or make one - something catches my eye. I walk over and... "It's a shrine"

"What?" Ava peeks over my shoulder "Oh, it's beautiful."

It really is. Someone made a drawing of us in some kind of pastel medium, like pencils or chalk. It's... me at the top, my wings spread wide and I'm glowing. Below that, it's Um'reli, Ava and Omar standing tall and proud looking up. Under that is a decent representation of hundreds of people bowing before us. Written on the bottom in the same local script I see all over it says "May They Protect Us." The drawing is on a little easel and there are flowers and candles all around it in a semicircle.

Protect them from what though?

"These flowers are amazing! I've never seen ones like this before" Um'reli bends down to get a closer look. She takes a deep breath "And they smell so good, Ava, Melody, you should smell them!"

Well if Um'reli, a K'laxi can smell them and not immediately break out in allergic hives, it's probably fine for us to smell too. I bend down low and... they smell... familiar? Why is that?

Ava straightens "These were grown. We need to find out where the gardens are and visit it!"

Um'reli stands as well. "After we get some work done Ava. We need to show everyone that we do something and aren't a drain on resources because Melody can order them around and they can't say no."

"What's the point of all this power if we don't use it!"

"Ava, we 'use it' like you want to and people will come after us with guns and knives. Who was the Empress before Melody?" Um'reli is looking hard at Ava.

"We have no idea."

"Exactly." Um'reli continues up the stairs to the Throne itself. I follow and Ava pouts but doesn't say anything further.

In the Builder room, Um'reli and Ava sit down. Their bodies go distant and they are integrating. "Okay Ava, Um'reli. You get down to work, I'm going to see about finding a bank and talking to them. Any idea where one is?"

"One moment Melody..." Ava is searching. "Okay, looks like a bank is down the street from the Administration building. It's not far."

"Thanks! Just reach out to me if you need anything." I head back out and down the stairs of the throne, passing by the little shine again. It really is cute, though I wish they put something a little more specific about what they wanted us to protect them from. Oh well, with our luck we'll find out soon enough.

It's not actually a long walk to the bank, Ava was right, it was just down the street from the Administration building. As I walk past I see that a couple people are cleaning up the barricades finally. I wave as I walk by, and they stand smartly and bow. Nice.

Soon enough, I come across what I assume is the bank. It's a large building, made out of the same material as the Administration building, marking it as very old. There is a large double door in the front made of what looks like the same metal as the coins everyone uses. The doors stand open with two people (an Azurian and a Mariens) standing out front. With a little wave to them, I walk in.

It's... a bank. Really. Tellers, little booths where people can discuss finance, even a little table before you get in line to fill out small slips of paper. I walk over to an Aviens who is sitting at a desk by the front door. They look up and do a double take when they see me. I'm not wearing my wings and crown anymore, but I still have on the gown from earlier.

"Uh, good day Holy One, what may this one help you with?" Holy One. Interesting.

"I would like to speak to the Bank Manager, please."

They rush to stand and their chair slides back with a squawk. "Of course, Holy One. Please, wait right here." The gesture over to a small group of chairs up against the wall. I can't really think of a reason why not, so I go over and sit.

Next to me is one of the pressure suited people. Up close, I can see how their suits are segmented metal colored bronze and completely decorated in elaborate carvings. They really are quite beautiful. Their helmets are almost completely featureless except for a bar where human eyes would be and there is what looks like a speaker on their neck.

I clear my throat. "Pardon me, I'm so sorry, but I haven't met one of you yet. Can you tell me your name and the name of your people?"

With just the most subtle clank and whir, they turn their head. "I am known as Vaaqo, and here, people call us Falor in your tongue." His head inclines slightly. "That is to say, the language that most people here speak call us Falor. I do not know your word for us in your Builder tongue."

"Falor is fine with me." I say brightly, and then stop. "Unless it is insulting to you or something."

They make a gesture with their hands. The Nanites indicate that they are indicating no. Oh, that makes sense! If they're suited all the time, most body language markers are lost. Hand gestures could take over for a bunch of nonspeaking conversation.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Vaaqo, thank you so much for the information. I have so many questions, but I will only ask one for now. Do you have to stay in your suit all the time?"

The same gesture meaning no. "We are fortunate that the upper sunward lobe of the Reach has a pressure door. We're able to maintain our helium methane atmosphere and higher ambient pressure and live suit free. The remains of our starship are installed up there, and we use it to control our own breathing gas."

They took their ship apart to survive? "Oh but that means you're trapped here! Once we open the gates and build more ships, we can send a message to your people."

Another gesture. The Nanites say it might be a smile "That is kind of you to offer, Empress. Before... well before, we were in the middle of a war. We were offered refuge here and so we do not know if any others of our kind remain. It will be... nice to find out for sure."

They're holding something back. I think they don't want to insult you.

It's fine. I see no need to compel them to tell me what they're hiding. It's probably something embarrassing to them or they think to me.

Luckily for all of us, you have no shame.

Ha ha.

As I argue with my Nanites, a Mariens walks up, looking nervous. "Hol-Empress, what a pleasant surprise. Thank you for taking the time to visit our fine financial establishment! My name is Utaid and I am at your service." He bows elaborately.

I stand and try to tower only slightly. I want to impress, not intimidate. "The pleasure is all mine Utaid, I am happy to have met you. I wish to open an account so that I will be able to pay people for services they render me."

They look shocked. "E-Empress, of course. We will do everything in our power to help. Since... all here is yours that of course includes all the money stored in the different banks across the Reach."

I nod. "While this is true, I am not a tyrant. I wish to make sure that people are paid and that operations continue as closely to before as possible. Please accept payment requests that come in from people in my name and keep records. We will do our utmost to make sure that the money going in is equal to or greater than the money coming out... in the long term."

They visibly relax. I wonder if they thought I was just going to come in and demand all the currency?

"It will be our most sincere pleasure Empress. We are proud that you have selected us to carry out your financial orders in Your name. We shall set up everything and dispatch a runner to you when it has been completed. I assume you are residing at the Royal Dawn hotel?"

"Yes, that's correct. How did you know?"

They look smug and embarrassed? How did they manage that? "Even though Reach of the Might of Vzzx is a very large starbase, rumors still seem to fly faster than light."

"Ah, thank you Utaid for all your help. I await your runners." They bow low again and I walk out.

Huh, that was easy. I guess people are starting to realize that I really am Empress and I really am trying to help everyone. Feeling very happy, I begin to walk back to the Throne.

"Uh, Melody there might be a problem." Um'reli's voice sounds worried in my head. She figured out how to contact me directly, very nice!

"What is it Um'reli?"

"Just a minute ago, I saw what looked like an alert. Ava and I checked it out and there's something going on at the main transit hub station. We either don't understand the alert or can't ready it yet. Can you check it out please?"

"Oh neat! I haven't been there yet. Sure, I'll go down and check it out. You two stay up there and be my eyes and ears."

The transit station is right around the corner from the bank. It reminds me a lot of photos of transit stations back on Earth. platforms, people milling about, advertising. But I see no crowds or anything worrying. I connect to the Starbase and think to Ava and Um'reli "I don't see any problem here, what's going on?"

"It's not here, it's at the main station. Get on the next train and ride two stops, you'll see it."

Oh, okay. Just as Ava finished speaking, a train rolls up. Like a lot of this place, it clearly was very fancy a long long time ago. The fact that it's still working is pretty impressive, even if it looks a bit run down. I walk on, and look around. There are seats all along the walls of the train car and poles along the middle to hang on to. Mentally I shrug and sit down near the door. After a moment, there's a trilling chime and the doors close.

With a lurch and a hiss of brakes, we get moving. I wonder if this train is automated, or if someone drives it. I should ask later. I'm lost in thought for the ride through the first station stop, but then I look around and realize everyone is staring at me.

"Oh, Hello!" I say brightly.

Immediately, the people closest to me drop to the ground, bowing their heads. "Oh, thank you, but you don't have to do that right now, please just sit. I'm just riding the train over to the hub station. My Builders tell me there's some kind of issue and I'm going to check it out."

"But, Empress... Surely you have people that you can send to do that for you?" It's a Mariens sitting across from me. They look amused.

"Oh not right now. I'm... between retainers and assistants right now. One of my Builders, Omar is helping to repair the High Line, that Aviens ship, and my other two, Ava and Um'reli are sitting in their Chairs, assisting with the operation of the Reach." Oh wait. "Do you want a job? I do find myself needing more people to help out with-" I gesture "-all this. I'm not sure how much to pay yet but I did just come back from the bank, so I'll be able to pay you; I'm sure I'll work all the rest out soon enough."

The Mariens chuckles "Thank you for the generous offer Empress, but I quite like my job. If you so order it... of course I'd help. If you're just asking though, no thank you."

"Oh, that's quite all right. I don't want to order you. But, if you know anyone that would like to help, have them come to the Throne chamber tomorrow, we'll see what we can do!" I look around at everyone trying very hard to look like they're not listening in. "That goes for anyone here too! If you want a job, come see us, if you know someone that does, send them. I need help, and I would love for it to be you!"

And with that same trilling chime, the doors open and I'm at the hub station.

Ah. Okay. I see what Ava and Um'reli are talking about.

There's a riot.

Part 24

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans go on adventure #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and ai #humans and aliens #the k'laxiverse #jpitha #just a little further

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

#not culture