#knew what i wanted

[pengychan]

"Oh the media being biased/silent on Gaza is a conspiracy theory"

I am a literal journalist and this is what happened when I pitched an article to a magazine I write for:

We covered conflict before. We denounced PMs' positions as wrong before. But this is where the editor balks - anything that makes it look even vaguely like we might, possibly, support Gaza. Even if the article itself would not have been an opinion piece, but a news feature about events on the ground.

We have free press, baby! But avoid the matter entirely if you can. It's delicate and depressing, why would you talk about it? Don't rock the boat. Be quiet. You don't need to go there.

Self-censorship is alive and well.

#gaza #free palestine #also to be clear #i am not that naive #i knew precisely what the difference was #compared to the attack on Ukraine #but I wanted them to spell it out

[shay-creates]

Apparently, my decision to be silly and make fanart of someone's writing (because I genuinely enjoy the story the person is writing and I was struck with inspiration upon reading a particular scene) has benevolent and wildly unforeseen consequences.

I apparently gained a bit of control of the canon because said writer really loved the art and decided what I drew/draw is canon.

2. Writer put said artwork into the document of his story right below the scene, so now it's IN the story where people who read the story will see it (with a link to me)

3. He sent the artwork to all his friends and people he knows because he was so excited

Wholesome interaction and I watched him do all that in real time, good stuff. However...there are two more consequences I was notified of today...nearly a full week after I gave the artwork.

Seeing the artwork caused his friends to become interested in reading and hearing about his story, which means more people are reading what he's writing and giving him critique on the story (which he actively asks for).

Apparently, upon seeing the art, his writer friends got a sudden second wind to pick back up writing they'd abandoned for a few months. Because, I quote, "seeing that someone enjoyed {his} writing enough to take the time to make art of it gave them the motivation that maybe THEY can write something that will inspire someone to also create something." I have accidentally caused a writing frenzy among his writer friends and my silly idea to make art for someone has had a butterfly effect for people who I don't even know.

Uhh...I'm pretty sure there's a moral here but I am tired and have a great deal of emotions about this.

#shay speaks #crying and screaming #I was not intending this! I just wanted to be nice to someone and show my appreciation for their work! #make someone's day by giving them a personalized gift #maybe make them cry a bit in joy or something (because he said he would if I went through with making art for him and he knew my goals) #This is the silliest thing to happen from me making art and idk what to do with this information #positivity

[ronanlynchbf]

tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!! #also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now.. #opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗ #r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book??? #i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it.... #also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist?? #hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

[bulletsgirl]

ppl who werent changed forever by youre gonna go far kid by the offspring when they were like 11 and insanely impressionable you just cant understand me

#SLOWLY OUT OF LINE AND DRIFTING CLOSER IN YOUR SIGHTS #SO PLAY IT OUT IM WIDE AWAKE ITS A SCENE ABOUT ME #THERES SOMETHING IN YOUR WAY AND NOW SOMEONE IS GONNA PAY #AND IF YOU CANT GET WHAT YOU WANT WELL ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME #NOW DANCE FUCKER DANCE MAN I NEVER HAD A CHANCE #AND NO ONE EVEN KNEW IT WAS REALLY ONLY YOU #AND NOW YOULL LEAD THE WAY #SHOW THE LIGHT OF DAY #NICE WORK YOU DID #YOURE GONNA GO FAR KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scarlct-vvitch]

in honor of ace week id like to shoutout every asexual who first thought they were bi/pan because they looked at all the genders and felt no difference and zero is equal to zero so they said "huh. must be bisexual" and then shoved their sexuality back under the rug for 3-5 years

#shoutout to not knowing what asexuality was for the entirety of high school #or bonus points if u DID know but everyone around u wanted sex so u didnt want to admit it #anyone who says they knew they were ace from day one is a liar #well not really #but i do question u #asexuality #ace week #ace #aroace #aromanticism #aromantic #asexual #asexuality week #oh shush

[timetodiverge]

Excuse me sir, that's my Emotional Support vicious lurca hound

....soooo Batcher is fully Crosshair's puppy now, yes???

-spending the morning at the beach with him instead of Omega -sitting next to him at the table -staying near him while everyone was yelling -squaring off against the wyrm ("YEAH YOU BETTER RUN!!"), then going right to Crosshair to check in, then STAYING THERE while Crosshair has his moment with Hunter

#CROSSHAIR+BATCHER FOREVER #dad and the dog he didn't want #everyone should have a batcher #universe's bestest girl #the episode was all about crosshair and I am 1000% here for that!!! #omega knew what she was doing with this one lol #batcher has made herself part of the squad SO FAST #tbb batcher #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch #tbb #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb hunter

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[isaacz]

#my art #undertale #undertale yellow #undertale fanart #idk what is the point of this comic #ig i just wanted to see them interacting #i was going to end on some deep shit like #“well ig despite it all we were somewhat friends” but did not knew what the conclusion to that would be so i just ended with a funny #the context for this is after the asriel dreemurr fight #where they find out abt the whole lore of flowey #and clover is just super perplexed that they were interacting with a royal LOl

[barrel-crow-n]

One thing about Kaz is that instead of thinking "I don't deserve her" he went "I will work on myself to deserve her" Bro is a simp, not a quitter.

#he was so real for that #he knew she wanted him. and he had come to terms that he wanted her. #and so he went: i will work on myself to make this relationship possible #wow #what a man #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #grishaverse #six of crows #six of crows duology #soc #kanej

[captain-flint]

x

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmdedit #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #blackbonnetedit #gentlebeard #gentlebeardedit #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby #literally what do i do with this #WHAT DO I DO WITH ANY OF IT #THERE'S TOO MUCH STUFF MY BRAIN REFUSES TO PROCESS IT #im not even capable of reblogging things yet bc my chest feels like i've been gargling and swallowing glass #i keep having to get up and just walk in circles #i've hyperventilated 73 times since yesterday #i knew david was gonna give us everything we ever wanted but that doesn't mean i was ready to see any of it #anyway i just needed this in the highest resolution on my blog #my stuff

[greseadraws]

baldur's gate 3 but make it incredibly cheesy valentines day cards

shoutout to my friends helping out with some of the lines because i was fighting for my life on some of these

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #karlach cliffgate #shadowheart #lae'zel #halsin #astarion #halsin's i knew right away what i wanted it to be #greseadraws

[verflares]

(pre-calam) filling the compendium :-)

+ closeup and the aftermath

#i am PRAYING that this posts okay and nothing gets squished or looks ugly. but if it is youcant tell me because ill cry #okay. anyways. #zelink #zelda #link #loz #botw #totk #link botw #zelda botw #loz fanart #for some reason trying to format this became a sisyphean ass task so now i just want to post it and go lie down or something #“why use warm colours if theyre on satori mountain” idk.... i liked how they looked :) #ok what else. ummm. so we KNOW zelda filled the compendium like she was running the navy right #its really funny because i dont even think its ever mentioned other than like. maybeeee one throwaway line from purah? #but there was a fandom osmosis moment bcus everyone Knew she'd be on top of it. and its true. she would be. #my art

[inchidentalmeowmeow]

People really out here writing charles as a timid shy little angel of a kid when he really was a chaos gremlin that didn’t know braking was an option and pushed people off the track

Baby Charles’ face: 👼😇🪽✨🥹💗

Baby Charles’ personality: 👹😈😼😡💀🔥

Look him and tell me he doesn’t look like he would bite ur head off for track position

#he is unhinged and thats why we love him #LET HIM BE CRAZY PLS I BEG #poor max likely got the brunt of it growing up #maybe THIS is why max remembers the spiderman helmet #every new interview abt his childhood and i see the vision clearer #little man knew what he wanted and was going to HAVE IT #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 #cl16 #lestappen #max verstappen #1633

[bisexualchaosdemon]

Sometimes, I think about the fact that Wymack is Kevin's dad, and I want to weep. He dedicated his entire life to helping others who had grown up like he had, only to find out that his own son had grown up a caged and abused wreck? That's a level of pain that I can't even fathom.

#wymack being kevin's dad but not knowing and not being able to stop the world from breaking him is so fucking cruel #whats more #wymack got his second chance at life through kayleigh teaching him exy #and she knew his dream of making the foxes #and then she lied to him and ripped away his chance to be the father he never had #i want to weep #aftg #all for the game #david wymack #coach wymack #kevin day

[bastart13]

POV you are Deanna about to have the night of your monsterfucker dreams in the creepiest woods imaginable

#critical role #cr3 #cr spoilers #chetney pock o'pea #fearne calloway #deanna leimert #fearne x chetney #chetney x deanna #fearne x deanna #fearne x chetney x deanna #art #aabria knew what she wanted and got what she got #it was so funny #also i consciously ignored a lot of fearne's outfit so just imagine she threw most of it off already #also if chetney didn't have the tail i would have given him the 'juicy' trackies #critical role spoilers #cr3 spoilers

[pokeberry5]

girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief

for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled

something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.

figuring out the looks:

i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair

#tim drake #dc #bruce wayne #janet drake #sart #i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter #which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves #but this also definitely works for trans tim #she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter #would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around #she barely knew her son #gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps #i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn #-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED #i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol #(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)