#klaus: VINDI-FUCKING-CATION

[in-tua-deep]

Hey. I’m not feeling the best right now. Can w I get some Ben and Five headcannons?

oh no !! I hope you feel better soon :(

Five and Ben were pretty close when they were younger which means that Five knows that Ben was a little shit

He might have the likes of Diego and Luther fooled but Five absolutely knows. He knows how much Ben could actually shit talk. He knows that Ben was not an innocent

Whenever Five irritated Ben too much, Ben would frame him for something. Sometimes this would manifest in an academy wide prank war which would inevitably end up in punishments from Reginald that everyone would blame Five for. Five. And no one would would ever believe him that sweet, quiet, wonderful Ben would start this sort of shit

Five fucking knows okay

However Ben was also like, the only intelligent conversation that Five ever actually had on the team so like, it’s not like he can just drop Ben (even though he knows what he did) because who else is he supposed to share looks with over Luther’s boneheaded plans with? Allison? As if Allison would ever admit Luther was being an absolute idiot

They had the silent understanding that Ben could be as much of a sarcastic shit as he wanted and in return Ben would let Five rant about temporal physics and complex mathematics and actually ask intelligent questions which occasionally led to breakthroughs

“It’s not my fault you can’t hide your own assholeness.” Ben informs Five with a straight face after Luther yelled at Five for three hours after Five rightfully informed their number one that it was actually Ben not Five who put dye on his toothbrush that turned his teeth green

Five mouths ‘I am going to destroy you’ to Ben across the breakfast table and Ben just serenely asks Klaus if he finished the math homework for their lessons today like Five doesn’t even exist

Five is twelve when he realizes that Ben is actually the devil

But actually he really admires it

Even if the way he realizes it is because Ben turns big eyes on Diego and says that Five was being mean to him, which almost gets Five a knife in the arm

(Five returns Ben’s stupid book of octopus facts, he didn’t even want the stupid thing he just stole it to get back at Ben for stealing his good umbrella jacket... yes he can tell shut the fuck up allison)

“I’m going to time travel.” “No you aren’t.” “You want to bet?” “Five. Five. We have been going over the equations for literal weeks. Did you even figure out the prime issue?” “Shut your mouth.” “Knew it.”

And Five does time travel and his second thought after “What the fuck” is “fucking Ben was right and can never know”

okay admittedly there’s a lot of apocalypse trauma and he finds the bodies of his siblings and then finds out that Ben died young and he’s just. there’s a lot going on okay

and then he travels back and ben is still dead and he’s kind of like... he can’t not save Ben but he’s got to make sure there’s a future or whatever to go to when he travels back in time and snags his brother up or whatever

except then Klaus summons Ben and well

“You asshole!” Five howls, pointing accusingly

Klaus is vindicated

“You can’t talk like that to Ben.” Diego says firmly, as though the time all of his knives were superglued to his harness wasn’t all Ben’s fault. As though that time wasn’t blamed on Five. 

“No, no, let him speak.” Klaus says, like a man who has been forced to be the only recipient of Ben’s sarcasm and sass for a great number of years.

Ben has been dead and invisible for a long time and no longer gives a single solitary fuck about what his family thinks of him tbh, and with Klaus clean(er) and a lowkey grudge against Luther (because come on Luther, Ben was rooting for you we were all rooting for you)

So Ben has no problem being like “YES. ‘TWAS I WHO GLUED LUTHER’S HAND TO HIS HAIR AND FRAMED DIEGO FOR TIPPING OVER OUR 8TH BIRTHDAY CAKE.”

“How did none of you ever notice that I ‘acted out’ whenever one of y’all ended up peer pressuring Ben into using his powers.” Five grits out, because his family is filled with fucking idiots.

“In fairness,” Ben says with his arms crossed and a frankly unimpressed look on his face, “I also did it whenever you were being especially asshole-ish. Which was with great frequency.”

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep.” Five hisses.

“Missed that opportunity by a large margin, baby bro.” 

and then Five screams with all his feral rage and tries to attack Ben because he isn’t often corporeal and he doesn’t want to miss the chance

Except Ben catches him in a hug and Five just freezes like a kitten who gets put in a cat harness for the first time and it’s great

“Oh my god I’m just now realizing why Ben and Five got along so well.”  - says every siblings with a braincell who has the sense to fear a Five and Ben team up

The first time that Five manages to frame Ben for something feels like fucking vindication

vindication, Ben

#ask me #ben is a little shit who became a larger shit #five was framed half his childhood and no one ever believed him #but also ben was the only intelligent conversation so... #ben talked a lot of shit as a child #in return for listening five demanded intelligent conversation #and to be fair five did pick on ben back #it's only he got in trouble for it #sometimes it was totally worth it though #he might have gotten extra training and dirty looks for a week and a bathroom in the house destroyed #but five personally thought it was justice and it was just a plastic spider anyway *jeeze* #five hollering: BEN IS A SHIT #diego: HOW DARE YOU BEN IS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL #luther: he doesn't even do anything just reads #five: i'm going to go feRAL #ben: lol no i'm actually totally a shit #klaus: VINDI-FUCKING-CATION #klaus finally has someone to complain at about ben #five finally has someone who believes him #they both get drunk together over it while ben rolls his eyes in the background #sorry there are no real soft headcanons #only siblings being shits to each other #fivehargreeves05