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chiskz · 1 year

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I'LL BE YOUR MAN (KINGDOM LEGENDARY WAR

𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 2021, Kingdom Legendary War era

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,2k

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Stray Kids' performance with "I'll be your man" wasn't easy from the very beginning...

♡𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @alyszaen , @smh-anon , @neohyxn , @stealanity , @alixnsuperstxr , @kimcheon-sa , @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs , @qtnoaly

《 ♡ 》

The performance with the cover of I'll Be Your Man as part of the Kingdom Legendary War program was fast approaching... It's hard not to, though, when there wasn't that much time at all between recordings for the episodes. Work on the show began a few hours after the song was chosen. All Chichi was waiting for was a background music from 3RACHA that she could work on. Its absence, however, didn't mean she wasn't working - in the meantime, she had already spent several hours thinking about the concept and general set design, which she offered to take care of as part of the choreography. She was just sitting exhausted in the middle of the practice room in worn, washed-out sweatpants and carelessly combed hair when she took the phone in her hand. 3:11am. The night is still young, right? That's probably what Bang Chan thought too, from whom an incoming call had just popped up on her phone screen. She answered the call quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

„Yeah?"

"Are you at the label?"

"Yeah..."

On the other side she heard a quiet sigh.

"Normally I'd tell you to go to bed right away, but this time I'm glad you're here. Will you come up to my studio?"

Ichi made a quiet sound of confirmation and hung up, putting her phone in her pocket. She took a blanket from the leather black couch and wrapped it around herself becoming a pancake of fatigue. She walked slowly up to the next floor, to "Channie's Room." She knocked briefly and went inside. Han and Changbin were already waiting for her on the couch, and Chan was sitting at the desk, on which a laptop lay turned on. All eyes were now on the newly arrived guest.

"I feel like I've done something wrong." She confessed with a quiet laugh and sat down on the armrest of the couch. "What's up?"

Chan sent her an encouraging smile and changed the piece of paper that lay in front of him.

"It's about your lines."

"There's nothing to talk about." She replied immediately, suddenly no longer sleepy. "I don't want any, I just want to dance well."

"But-"

"Really, that would be fine. As long as I can dance well then-"

But she said no more, as Changbin put a small buttered roll into her mouth, a bag of which lay open on the couch between him and Han.

"Be quiet and listen. This is where Changbin did quite a long rap." Chan handed Ichi a piece of paper he had just removed from a small stack lying on his desk. "He said he'd like you to perform it."

"Me?" She looked immediately at Changbin, but he remained silent. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so she hastily averted her eyes from him and focused on the text on the piece of paper. "Wouldn't it be easier to divide it between me and Changbin? Or give it to Changbin in general? I don't think I can handle it, it's too important performance to experiment like this..."

"You can handle it." Changbin finally spoke up. "Your pronunciation is already really good, besides you're in good shape, you won't run out of breath, which you control well anyway. You'll succeed and we'd like you to do it. Okay?"

Chichi swallowed her saliva loudly, looking then at the guys then back at the piece of paper. Oh god...

"O-okay."

•••

Recording her rap lasted until 7am, she had already stayed in the studio with the guys, getting 2 energy drinks and big coffee. Changbin directed her, he even recorded for her as he rapped the part so she would know what and how. The boys were pleased with the result, but Ichi only felt growing anxiety and panic. She wasn't good enough to do it, not during something so important. Chan assured her that "when should they experiment if not now," but this did not appeal to her at all. Still, she did it so as not to let down the trust placed in her so much - yet inside she felt she was dying of stress.

The only thing that comforted her was the fact that, along with her part, the recording for the cover had been completed and she already had material with which to move on with her work on the choreography and visual part of the performance. In the whirlwind of all her work, she managed at times to forget the weight that had been placed on her shoulders. After another day and a second consecutive sleepless night, she was already able to proudly invite the rest of the members to the first presentation of the choreography and the first rehearsal. After consulting with Minho, she made a few modifications and rehearsals in the following days were already in full swing.

After one such rehearsals, the members went for a well-deserved break, which was actually lying on the floor together and catching their breath. Chichi wasn't as tired as they were, but she couldn't deny herself lying down between Felix and Jeongin. Maknae tapped her on the cheek with his index finger, to which the oldest member smiled instantly.

"I like your part." He said quietly enough that only she could hear him. "Don't be afraid, ok? Go ahead and do your job."

Ichi could have sworn that if he had added one more sentence she would have cried like a baby. She was afraid, terribly afraid. Raping not live, surrounded by people who made her feel comfortable was one thing, but doing it in front of so many people in front of the TV, in front of other idols with more experience than her, and that's when there's a win at stake... It was already a different thing. She didn't think she should do it. What if she gets the words wrong? What if her accent is heard somewhere and the situation with online hate happens again? She doesn't know if she is currently capable of going through something like that again...

•••

The last rehearsal had just successfully ended. The performance was tomorrow... Ichi turned off the recording she was playing from her laptop and applauded her members briefly.

"Very good. I'm glad we're very in sync, just as I asked. Otherwise the choreography would look very messy. Therefore, today let's have some nice meal, preferably meat, to gain strength. I’m paying."

Sounds of satisfaction went through the training room and boys thanked her with loud applause, then headed for the exit together. Chichi already wanted to follow them out, but after reflexively counting the members in front of her, she realized that someone was missing. She looked behind her and saw Lino, tying the laces of his sports shoes. She smiled softly at this sight and turned around, crouching next to him. The man raised his head, then eyebrow slightly.

"I know where’s exit." He snapped her lightly on the forehead, yet Ichi lost her balance in surprise and fell on her butt. She lowered her eyebrows.

"A person can no longer do anything nice for you without being victimized!"

"Don't cry, or I'll feel sorry or something." She laughed quietly while lowering her head, but Minho helped her up nonetheless. "Why are you so stressed?"

She looked at him unsuccessfully trying to hide her surprise at how quickly he saw through her... Although maybe it wasn't that hard after all?

"How do you know?"

"Your hands are shaking so much that if you put a knife and a potato in them, you would peel it whole after a few seconds."

Chichi didn't even know how to comment on it....

"I don't know myself. I don't think I'm capable of doing something like that. The rap is fast and long, apparently it was meant for two people, not one!" She called out immediately, feeling her voice breaking.

Still, she made no impression on Lino, as he only blinked slowly when she finished speaking.

"So?" Ichi opened her mouth slightly. What do you mean "so"?! "Chan is hardly ever wrong when it comes to music. If he or any of 3RACHA has generally decided that you should perform this particular part then you should do it. If you can't trust yourself then trust them."

Ichi listened to him carefully, a moment later lowering her gaze. If it were as simple as he says... Or maybe it actually is, only she is making it unnecessarily difficult for herself? After all, it's not like the whole performance is focused solely on her part, is it? It's not up to her to determine their to be or not to be... But then again, it's probably too crucial a moment of the song to ruin it?

"You're right." She said finally, feeling like she had been thinking about his words for ages. "Instead of thinking about how I shouldn't do it, I should do my best to do it and do it the best of my ability."

Minho nodded and patted her firmly on the back.

"And keep it that way. Now come on, I didn't waste precious minutes of my life on you so that now I can't eat properly."

Ichi stuck her tongue out at him and went ahead. What he said made sense, the question was did it actually calm her down?

•••

The day of the performance finally came. Ichi paced around the already prepared stage, warming up her voice and waving her hands, unable to stand still. With only a few minutes left, she could feel the stress rising dramatically within her, causing a huge heaviness in her stomach and a cold sweat on the back of her neck. She can’t do it, she can’t do it, she can’t do it...

"You can do it." Mumbled Changbin quietly, standing suddenly behind her. Ichi turned around instantly, taking a deep breath. "I know we have our backs to each other in the choreography, but if you feel the stress is getting to you don't hesitate and look at me, okay? Look at me, your biggest fan."

Ichi felt tears slowly flow into her eyes, disturbing her vision. She began to blink rapidly to get rid of them, and in response let out only a quiet "mhm" muffled by the gurgle formed in her throat by the stress.

The recording began. Chichi was able to concentrate fully on the dance and for a moment forgot about the stress taking over her entire body. It returned with redoubled force, however, when she and Changbin knelt in their positions while all attention was focused on Seungmin and Chan performing their parts. Ichi lowered her head. She felt like throwing up, afraid she would as soon as she opened her mouth. She sniffled silently without even knowing when she started crying. She can’t do it... She turned quickly to Changbin, who must have known all along that she was going to do it, because he was already kneeling facing her. He looked at her intently with eyes apparently filled with tenderness and a sincere belief that she can do it. But she only began to gently shake her head and repeat soundlessly "no, no, no." Changbin couldn't look at her tears. Had they made the wrong decision? Was Chichi really not ready for such a thing? No, he further believed she was. What she wasn't ready for was her self-esteem, which, by how low it was, had led her to such a state. Her part was just about to begin, he, she, Han and Seungmin slowly stood up. This was the moment when Changbin made a spontaneous decision for which he was ready to suffer any consequences later.

With one step, he bridged the distance separating him from Chichi and placed his hand on the back of her neck, with his other hand raising her hand with the microphone to her lips, squeezed by her so tightly that her fingertips turned white. Changbin began to rap with her, and their voices were in almost perfect harmony, despite the fact that they both had strong and distinctive voices. As Ichi entered slowly into the rhythm they moved away from each other, and their rap became more and more aggressive and filled with emotions, as if they had planned it from the beginning.

After the recording ended, all the members left the stage, with Jeongin and Ichi going last with their heads down. In their minds, both of them had ruined the performance. They were unable to look at themselves in the mirror, let alone in the eyes of those who had pinned all their hopes on them. What these poor two didn't know at the time, however, was that it was Jeongin's voice crack and Ichi's tears that added emotion to the performance, added to the pain caused by the broken heart - and that was the main premise of both the song and the overall performance.

《 ♡ 》

bonus - chichi's outfit

#stray kids 9th member #kpop addition #kpop added member #kpop oc #stray kids oc #idol oc #stray kids female oc #stray kids added member #stray kids addition #skz imagines #skz x oc #kingdom legendary war #kpop fake scenario #skz drabbles

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jungkookslipring · 1 year

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“Because of Me”

AN: THIS IS PURELY FICTION (with some nonfiction moments). While the performance, interview, hiatus, and IN crying when they got back to the dorms was true (according to Changbin in 2 kids 1 room) what happened after the kingdom scene is fiction. Of course I don’t know how it went down completely, but like I said this is purely for entertainment purposes. Also f*ck kingdom.

Kingdom was a joke. Everyone knew it. The artists, the fandoms, even the fandoms that didn’t get along came to a mutual agreement that Kingdom was a joke. The one good thing that came out of the program were the interactions between groups and the friendships that were made. When it came to one of the last performances, the pressure was on. They did their best, gave it their all, but there was one artist in particular who felt he could’ve done better. I.N. The sweet maknae felt his heart sink when his voice cracked during his solo in the last 10 seconds of the song. Unfortunately, right after the performance, he was pulled for an interview, and of course, the interviewer asked about his performance. He sat there for a few seconds before he answered.

“I practiced really hard on singing live, but it was worse than what I thought”, he answered looking down.

“Maybe it was because I was so nervous. My whole body tensed up before I knew it. I wanted to show 120 percent, but I feel like I only got to show 40 percent”, he said sadly. I.N could feel his throat closing up and the familiar stinging behind his eyes.

“I feel sorry. Because of me…” he paused.

“The performance…” he tried to clear his throat. He didn’t want to cry, he really didn’t. Not in front of these people he didn’t know. He bit his lips in an attempt to stop the tears but it didn’t work. His breath hitched before he continued. He just wanted the interview to be over already.

“It little…no, alot…” he looked away. He was so tired, he just wanted one if not all of his hyungs to save him. His interview concluded and he was allowed to go back to the waiting room. Everyone else had an interview before they had their team interview. Chan was in the room waiting for him. When the door opened, he looked up with a smile that immediately turned into a frown when he saw the state I.N was in. He quickly got up from his spot on the couch and walked over to the youngest.

“Innie?? What’s wrong? What happened?” Chan asked as he rushed to the maknae. I.N Shook his head as his lip wobbled. Chan stood there silently with his hand on I.N’s shoulder waiting for him to respond. I.N quickly realized that there were still cameras in the room, and he looked at Chan with a panicked expression, scared that his reaction would end up on the show. Chan looked around and then pulled him into the closet out of sight from the cameras.

“I’m sorry, I messed up tonight…” I.N whispered. Chan cocked an eyebrow.

“What? I.N you did good! Which part?” Chan was genuinely confused. He didn’t know about I.N’s super minor slip up.

“As a whole… I did terrible.” he answered thickly as more tears formed in his eyes.

“No, that’s not true,” Chan said as he pulled his baby into another hug.

“It’s okay, man.” Chan said in English as I.N let out a choked sob. Chan continued to hold I.N as the youngest cried into his shoulder.

“When did you get so big? I can’t even hug you now,” Chan exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. Once I.N’s crying reduced to sniffles, Chan kept a hold on him. He rubbed his back as he started to speak.

“Just think of it as a phase, you can do better next time,” Chan said soothingly. He knew I.N beat himself over the littlest things in fear that he isn’t holding his end as a member. His hyungs never scolded him for it, never saw less of him, never loved him less, but he always tried to give it his all.

“Yes,” I.N. nodded into Chan’s shoulder. Chan held him a little tighter.

“Besides, I also made quite a few mistakes,” Chan whispered. He giggled while I.N. let out a wet chuckle. Chan patted I.N.’s hair being mindful of how it was styled since they still had a group interview to do. I.N. didn’t want to be in front of the cameras for the rest of the night, but they still had the interview and they still had to sit through the ranking, and a group picture. Everyone grouped up before their interview, and once everyone saw I.N, they went into protective hyung mode.

“I.N-ah what's wrong?” Felix asked as he put a shoulder on his dongsaeng. I.N shook his head and looked to the ground. He didn’t want to cry again, they were going to get called into that room any minute for the interview. He closed his eyes to keep the tears from falling before he looked up at Felix.

“I’m sorry for tonight’s performance…” he said as he bit his lip. Felix had no idea what he was talking about. He didn’t notice anything. None of them did. Chan explained to the group why I.N was so shaken up by the performance, and not a second later they all started speaking at once.

“Honey, it's not your fault!”

“We all make mistakes I.N.”

“I didn’t even notice!”

“You did amazing I.N, you always do!”

“Nooo, baby don’t cry!”

I.N quickly dabbed away at his eyes trying not to smudge the stage makeup. He really didn’t want to do the group interview now. He just wanted to go home already, but they had another few hours. They were finally called for the group interview. As they all sat down, each member kept an eye on I.N. The interviewer asked about the performance. Each of them kept a professional face on even though on the inside they were pissed. They knew what the interviewer meant when they were asked that question. They weren’t being asked about their group performance, they were asking about I.N’s. Lee Know started responding first.

“I.N worked harder than anybody else. We all know how much effort he has put in.” He exclaimed with no hesitation.

“I.N really rocked. He was so much cooler and way more awesome than when he practiced or rehearsed,” Han said with confidence. I.N looked away as Chan stared at him with admiration.

“All our Stray Kids members, including our youngest I.N did a great job,” Chan said as he began to clap. Everyone else, including I.N followed suit. He felt a little bit better hearing his hyungs stick up for him, but he still felt so much guilt. When it came to their picture, no one smiled. Everyone was so mad that mnet made I.N cry, no one bothered to raise the corner of their mouth in the slightest. I.N felt much worse when it came to the ranking. Their rankings had dropped. I.N felt a surge of even more guilt. He held it together for the rest of the taping, and their ride back to the dorms. Once they were home, everyone finally got to unwind and chill in the living room. Everyone except for I.N were in the living room watching TV. I.N sat at the dining room table reflecting on today’s events. He believed there was no other reason as to why their rankings had dropped if it weren’t for his mistake. Tears welled up in his eyes and this time he didn’t even try to suppress them. His head dropped into his hands as sniffles turned into little whimpers and whimpers turned into full on crying.

“I.N-ah?” asked Changbin as he looked away from the TV, realizing his youngest was missing. He heard the sniffles and immediately jumped up from the couch. Everyone else quickly followed suit. As they rushed into the kitchen, their hearts broke. They saw their maknae sitting alone with tears flowing down his face, and his eyes already getting puffy.

“What’s wrong? What’s the matter?” they all asked frantically. I.N let out a sob.

“Because of me…because of me,” he sobbed into his hands.

“What are you talking about, baby?” Changbin asked as he laid a hand on I.N’s. The maknae gripped onto his hand tightly and started apologizing profusely.

“I’m so s-sorry h-hyungs,” I.N cried out. “Its all m-my fault…p-please don’t h-hate me,” he hiccuped and cried even harder. Felix sighed sadly as he walked up behind the youngest to hug him.

“Baby we could never hate you, you know that,” he whispered before dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

“Are you talking about your performance? Sweetheart, we talked about this, we didn’t even notice it,” Chan said softly as he knelt in front of his distressed maknae. He put a hand on his thigh and started rubbing it gently.

“Our r-rankings went down b-because of me, h-hyung”, I.N whispered. “We lost b-because I couldn’t…” I.N couldn’t finish as he let out another sob. Felix started rocking I.N gently as Changbin continued to hold his hand while Chan rubbed his leg.

“Baby, you know thats not true,” Chan said. I.N shook his head. He wanted to interject, but everytime he tried to talk he’d dissolve into another sob. This performance really shook him up. Chan felt bad for all of them. This entire competition was stupid and it was making all of his kids question their talent. Changbin gently squeezed I.N’s hand before he began to speak.

“This show is nothing but for entertainment purposes. Kingdom has nothing to do with who you are or how talented you are. No matter which team wins, it won’t change who we are as a group. This show doesn’t define you, or me, or the rest of us, yeah?” Changbin said ever so softly so I.N wouldn’t get even more stressed out. I.N nodded softly. It was Bang Chan’s turn to speak.

“Is there anything else besides this performance, love? I’ve never seen you this shaken up before…” Chan tried to say as gently as possible. They’ve all made mistakes before. Whether it was during practice or on stage, for award shows or on tour, they’ve all had their fair share of minor mistakes and for the most part they’ve all been able to shake it off. Sure there have been tears in the past but they’ve all been able to let it go after a while. I.N was absolutely devastated, and Chan was sure there was another reason.

“Is it because of all thats going on right now?” Han asked. Felix felt I.N tense under his arms, and then begin to shake again. Just from the movement, they all knew. I.N scrunched his eyes and hid in his hand that wasn’t accompanied by Changbin’s. He let out a gut wrenching sob that immediately sprung tears in some of the members' eyes. I.N missed Hyunjin. They all did; doing a stupid show without their Hyunjinnie- who wasn’t even on hiatus by choice- took a toll on all of them. It was hard to stay focused on work knowing a piece of them was missing. They didn’t know when he would come back, and they were scared whether or not he would even come back. I.N has always been super close to Hyunjin, and Hyunjin saw I.N as the little brother that he never had. It had been 2 months since he was suspended, and I.N was taking it especially hard.

“Oh baby, come here.” Lee Know said as he reached out to I.N. He and Felix helped stand I.N on his feet and walk him over to the couch. Lee Know plopped down on the couch as he and Felix set I.N. on Lee Know’s lap. I.N hid his face into his hyungs neck and gripped onto his shirt as his tears made his way down his face. He was exhausted. Nothing was going right, everything was messed up, and this damn performance was the final straw that broke the camel's back. Felix sat next to Lee Know and side hugged the both of them. Han sat on the opposite side and rubbed I.N’s knee. Changbin and Seungmin sat on the floor near the pair whispering words of encouragement. Chan had run off to grab water for his kid. Seungmin had noticed that Chan had been gone for a hot minute, so he slipped out. When he walked into the kitchen he saw his leader with his back to him, looking up at the ceiling. Seungmin followed his line of sight to whatever was so intriguing to Chan, but when he saw nothing, he slowly walked over and put a hand on Chan’s shoulder.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” he whispered. Chan hesitantly turned around. His eyes were glossy.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Chan laughed a little but Seungmin wasn’t stupid. They all get emotional when one of theirs is upset, Chan especially. Seungmin shook his head.

“Channie-hyung, I love you, but I know you don’t mean that.” Seungmin could visibly see more tears filling up in Chan’s eyes as he tried to blink them away. Chan hated seeing his kids upset. It was a hard situation for Seungmin because he wanted to take care of his brothers so bad, but with I.N crying about Hyunjin, and Chan crying about I.N crying, he didn’t know what to do.That shattered his heart. Chan’s lip wobbled for a sec before he cleared his throat.

“I just wanted to pull myself together before going back in there.” Chan said as he tried to blink back the damned tears that kept trying to make their way out. Seungmin gave a half smile and patted his shoulder.

“Don’t hide your feelings from us hyung, we’re all in the same boat,” Seungmin said as he pulled Chan into a hug. Chan chuckled as he returned the hug. He had managed to swallow the tears and even though his eyes might be a tad bit pink still, he let Seungmin lead him back into the living room where everyone else was. I.N still had tears flowing but his hyungs had managed to get him to just sniffles and the occasional whimper, which is no better but it was a start.

“I miss Hyunjinnie hyung,” I.N whispered thickly. Lee Know kissed his forehead and continued to scratch at his scalp.

“We know you do bubs, we do too,” Lee Know said trying to contain his emotions.

“It’s not fair…the show, Hyunjin Hyung, nothing is fair…” I.N whispered as we wiped his eyes. Lee Know rubbed his shoulder as a stray tear fell from the youngest’s eyes.

“Let’s get you to bed Innie, we could all get some rest yeah?” Chan asked the group. Everyone murmered in agreement as they all slowly got up from where they were seated. They all went to their respective rooms, not without saying a quick goodnight to each other in the form of hugs, kisses, or both. I.N walked into his and Han’s room and plopped down on the bed. Han was not far behind when he closed the door.

“How are you doing, aegi?” He asked as he sat on I.N’s bed. I.N kinda laughed at the question as he went to pat Han’s leg.

“I’m sorry for everything tonight. Not just the performance, but for, you know,” he said as he made a hand Gesture showing his red and puffy eyes. Han shook his head.

“You don’t ever have to apologize for that kind of thing Innie. Everyone has bad days. And it’s completely valid. There’s a lot happening right now,” Han said as he went to hold I.N’s hand. The youngest of the two looked up at the ceiling, contemplating the thoughts going on in his head right now. Of course his roommate noticed.

“I can hear the gears turning Innie, what’s on your mind?” He asked while rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. I.N wanted to say nothing, but his hyungs are too good at reading his mind.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” I.N asked hesitantly. Han smiled at that question and ruffled his fox’s hair.

“My cute I.N-ah of course I will,” he said as he went to turn off the lights. They both climbed into I.N’s bed and threw the covers over themselves. Han offered an arm as I.N snuggled into his side. Han wrapped both arms around I.N and kissed the top of his head.

“We got you I.N, everything is going to be okay, yeah?” Han whispered. I.N nodded and snuggled even further into Han’s grip. The next morning, the guys found I.N and Han snuggled up together, cooing at the fact that I.N has 7 brothers to look after him no matter what.

#hurt/comfort #skz fanfic #stray kids #stray kids x stay #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #seungmin #jeongin #kingdom legendary war #skz hurt/comfort

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