#3 All I Want Is A Break
Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless.
Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her.
Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung
Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part
Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue.
Word count: 3.8K+
Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it?
---
It's strange. I'm standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me.
"Don't you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you'll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don't know how anybody else is! We don't know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don't you ever feel like finding out?"
This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people.
"Think about it, Y/N," He didn't stop. "Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don't look at me like that," He rolled his eyes.
He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue.
"It's been too long? Don't you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don't know, taking a break isn't a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…" He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty.
This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn't know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. "It's just a break. Nothing more," His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. "We spend some time apart from each other. I'll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break," He said so easily.
"You're my best friend." My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else.
"And you're mine. But, listen to me," he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. "We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I'm not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-" I pulled my hands away. "That's not what I mean." He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out.
Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn't seeped in yet. "What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I'm not my own person."
"So, you're basically saying that you don't want me in your life anymore?" I frowned.
"Don't be dramatic," He sighed.
I laughed. "That's literally what you just said."
"I don't know why you aren't getting this." He raised his voice. "You know, Maria said you won't get it, and you don't." he shook his head, and sat back.
"Maria said that I won't get it? You've known these people for a month. You've known me for years!" I couldn't stop the tears. "But, it's not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don't come at me with, 'I don't know who I am/ we have always been together.' Straight up, tell me you don't want me anymore." I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.
"That's not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!" He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. "Where are you going? You don't know anyone. We are literally just discussing," He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine.
"We aren't, though. You are breaking up with me," I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days.
"It's a break!" He yelled. "You're still my best friend! You'll always be my best friend," He yelled as I tried to walk past him. "You'll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?"
"But that's it, right? You want this place gone." I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn't thought this through. "What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives' even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don't know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we," I gestured between us, "never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don't erase the past. You move on."
"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N," he said, exasperated.
"What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn't for you. I'm not an option, Yoongi." I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.
"It's not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don't want to make you feel like you're an option but haven't you ever felt the need to want something more?" He questioned. "That maybe there is something worth more out there?" His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again.
It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn't believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn't just degraded me. "All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here." I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn't call. He didn't call me at all.
—
"He said WHAT?" Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once.
"He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?" I was so drunk.
"Man, I'm sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I'm getting the vibes," Zoya tickled the air.
"You can feel the vibe?" I looked at her.
"Yaaa, I caaaannnn!" She slurred. "It'll be difficult. Very, but no time like now."
"I gotta figure out my housing situation," I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here.
"It's sorted. That's why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!" She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender's eye.
"Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out," The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down.
"Tae, you have an extra room, right?" She asked sweetly.
"Uh, I do," He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two.
"Great! You're looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!" She declared happily.
"You want me to live with a boy?" I looked at her.
"I'm looking for a roommate?" He questioned as well.
"Yes, you can't live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae's place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology." Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot.
"My father owns this bar," Tae clarified.
"Potehto Potahto," Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. "So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it'll finally be interesting!"
"Zoya bu–" She kept her finger on my lips.
"But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!" She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back.
Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, "Taehyung," He offered his hand for me to shake. "Zoya and I are school friends. I'm studying management here too."
"Y/N," I smiled. "I've not seen you before, though!"
"It's a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don't think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?" He asked, walking me outside.
"Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy," I told him.
"I think I'm taking that next sem. Zoya, my car's in the parking lot. Let's go," He called for her, and she happily ran towards us.
—
"This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don't mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -" It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed.
"No, I think it'll be fun. My father's assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you'll find it here," He laughed.
"Oh nice, what's your rent?" I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I'd need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job.
"I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting," He explained. "But, I'm sure we can agree on something," He smiled.
Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone.
"You haven't moved," Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. "I left you right here, like 30 mins ago," He laughed. I'm sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak.
"Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he'll call when he sees my stuff gone?" I asked Tae with tears in my eyes.
Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, "if he calls, will you pick up?" He asked. I shook my head. "If he calls, will you feel better?" I shrugged because I didn't know what to feel. It was all happening so fast.
"I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now," I couldn't stop my tears.
"Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it," Tae tried, nudging my shoulder.
—
I kept out of Yoongi's way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn't collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction.
'I hope you're okay.'
The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay?
I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn't breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.
A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn't matter that the love of my life didn't think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb.
There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. "If you're not ready to process it, you don't have too," She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom.
Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta.
'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack's post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn't have the need for more.
I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn't a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn't say anything to Yoongi's parents if it didn't come from them and that they won't contact him.
'All I need is myself' was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.
—
"Have you spoken to her since?" Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink.
"No," He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.
"How are you holding up?" She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn't really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn't understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi.
"It's only a break. I just need to know who I am," He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn't in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious.
Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn't respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well.
His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn't being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae's spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much.
"You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn't exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -" She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi.
"My man!" He yelled in his year. "We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!"
—
"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!" Tae screamed as he entered the apartment.
"I got three papers and two presentations," I counted. "You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out." I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn't have him around.
"I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments." He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night.
"Yuck. I hate clubs," I groaned.
"Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling," He instructed.
"Yuck."
Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side," he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing.
"What's the goss?" I asked.
"Are you ready? Emotionally?" Miles asked, giving me a warning.
"Sure," I laughed.
"That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!"
I giggled, "you're very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn't speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!"
"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you," He said, making me choke on my drink. "I'm joking!" He laughed. "You'll have to tell me a couple more to have me!"
He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi.
"I can't believe you're taking me clubbing tonight," Miles groaned as he met us downstairs." Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too," He held my hand, flirting.
"You guys are the worst!" Tae whined. "We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let's just go!"
"I'm surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there," I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.
"Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by," He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn't want to change their dynamic and was hoping she'll suddenly realise he had been there all along.
"There is nothing like true love," I said.
"Hush," He pulled me closer. "Let me dream."
We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn't eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy," Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn't as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn't help smiling big as she complimented me.
We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding.
"What happened-" Zoya's eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed.
—
PART 2
A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships.
©mymuseagustd@2023
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RATING: E | SHIP: JUNGKOOK/EVERYONE | 18+ | RANDOM UPDATES
OTHER INFO: M/M, NON-IDOL AU, ALPHA/BETA/OMEGA DYNAMICS, OT7, SUB JEON JUNGKOOK, SUB PARK JIMIN, TOP PARK JIMIN, TOP KIM TAEHYUNG, TOP KIM NAMJOON, TOP JUNG HOSEOK, TOP MIN YOONGI, TOP KIM SEOKJIN, HARASSMENT (NOT BETWEEN OT7), INSECURITY, HEAT/MATING CYCLES, NESTING, JEON JUNGKOOK HAS A VAGINA, BOYPUSSY, BOYPUSSY JEON JUNGKOOK, RABBIT HYBRID JUNGKOOK, CAT HYBRID PARK JIMIN, WOLF HYBRID KIM TAEHUNG, WOLF HYBRID KIM NAMJOON, WOLF HYBRID JUNG HOSEOK, WOLF HYBRID MIN YOONGI, WOLF HYBRID KIM SEOKJIN
PART 1 -
Jimin shuddered, zipping up his jacket and rubbing his bare hands together. The weather had turned rather chilly after the sun went down. He was leaving the studio late so he hadn’t anticipated needing a thicker coat this early in the year. Just before turning the corner he heard someone shout, voice pitched high, presumably in protest. He peaked past the telephone pole at the end of the block, analyzing the situation.
Someone was trying to ward off unwanted attention, an omega if his nose was correct. There was a note of bitterness to his scent, something so clearly not part of his natural aroma. This clearly wasn’t friendly. The two alphas were only crowding closer and Jimin didn’t hesitate to intervene. Maybe he would have in the past, a few years prior. But he wasn’t the omega he once was. He wouldn’t stand by while one of his own was put in danger. He refused to live his life as a bystander, as a coward.
When he got closer, he caught sight of the omega’s expression. The look of pure terror had his feet moved on their own accord.
“He’s not interested.” Jimin said with certainty, weaving in from under the alpha’s thick arm to stand between the omega and these instigators.
“What, you want in on the action, baby?” The taller of the two snickered before his eyes fell on Jimin’s mating mark. He was sure the man could also smell Yoongi’s scent all over him from when he renewed that mark earlier. He reminded himself to show his alpha gratitude later. It turned out to be quite helpful. It might be the determining factor of whether he walked away from this unscathed.
“Hey man, let’s go.” The alpha muttered, hitting his friend in the arm. With a snarl the other man relented, the pair retreating down the street, their musky scents bitter with disappointment.
Carrying the scent of five alphas did him wonders it seemed.
“Are you okay?” He asked, finally turning his attention to the other omega.
And fuck, he was cute. A round nose and even rounder eyes, long lashes and prominent front teeth. His bunny ears lay flat against his head, a few notches visible even from where they were plastered against his head. Overall he seemed a little worse for wear, but adorable nonetheless.
He sniffed, nose twitching as a clear sign of nerves. He wiped his grubby sleeve over his face, averting his gaze. “I didn’t need your help.” He said, clearly feeling a little embarrassed about having another omega come to his rescue.
“All right, tough guy, you’re welcome.” Jimin chuckled, willing to cut the kid some slack due to the circumstance of their meeting.
“Thank you…” He mumbled, finally meeting Jimin’s eye. Jimin felt a little like someone had suckerpunched him in the heart. He looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes about a mile long, lids hanging heavy to reveal an unfathomable level of fatigue.
“You should be more careful, it’s dangerous to walk around by yourself.” Those pretty eyes narrowed at him in the darkness.
“Maybe for someone like me. Not all of us are lucky enough to have a whole pack of alphas to nest with.” He grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and shouldering past Jimin.
He turned to look at him one last time, a real sadness in his eyes. “And you are… really lucky.” And with that he ran down the road before Jimin had a chance to respond.
He thought about it that evening. When he arrived back home and was greeted by his alphas nuzzling and scenting him all over he realized what the boy said was true. He was exceptionally lucky to have not one alpha but five living at home.
They were a rather large pack, and being the only omega meant he was doted on constantly. He’d never felt guilty about it before. He was grateful, of course. But even though he stayed up to date with the news and had lived through quite a few hardships of his own before being mated, he’d never seen that level of neglect up close before.
Of course, no omega NEEDED an alpha. Or even a partner for that matter. However progress was slow, and inequality based on second gender was ever present. Yes, an omega didn’t need a protector, a provider, or a caretaker. But he’d been so blessed recently that it was hard to remember life before his alphas.
He might have taken that blessing for granted.
Thinking back to their clipped conversation that night between two broad chests, he remembered how the other omega had brought up nesting in particular. And it occurred to him that the prime reason for the exhaustion on his face had to be because he had nowhere to nest properly.
Another luxury he didn’t put much thought into.
He made a choice that night. He was going to pay the kindness he’d been shown forward.
He’d probably never run into that particular tortured soul again but one thing was for sure. Stepping in when an omega was in need wasn’t enough anymore. There was more he could do for struggling omegas. People who lived through situations worse than he’d ever experienced.
Two google searches later and he had a pretty good idea of something more he could do. And he would.
But he couldn’t do it without the help of his alphas.
Clearly, there was a conversation to be had.
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