#kim burgess angst
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Departure
Pairing: jay halstead x reader
Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his wife again
Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst
English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistakes!
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When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didn’t think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didn’t think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.
And then something changed.
You didn’t know if that was because of his partener, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didn’t recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you weren’t able to find a way to help him get through that.
You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.
That’s why you let him go.
When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.
Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?
You didn’t know what was true, but you couldn’t just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.
And that’s exactly what you did.
“It will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.” He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. “I love you… i really do but i need to do this. Please don’t be angry with me, i’ll come back to you, i promise. You’re the love of my life, y/n.”
When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldn’t deny him to be himself again.
That’s why you didn’t tell him the truth.
That’s why you hid it from him.
When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.
“Y/n…” she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. “It’s okay. It’s temporary, right? He will come back, okay?”
You didn’t say anything, you didn’t nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.
“We perfectly know that he can die there.” You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.
“Oh, y/n…” she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.
It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.
“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didn’t complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”
You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, that’s why you just nodded, answering her.
“Does Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that you’re pregnant?”
Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldn’t have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying “no”, she hugged you tighter.
“Oh, darling.” She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. “You should’ve told him, Y/n, i’m sure he wouldn’t have left knowing that.”
You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.
“T-That’s why i-i d-din’t tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldn’t stop him.”
“But he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!” She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.
“When he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadn’t already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that he’s lost. He’s not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, that’s only for eight months.” You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. “When he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.”
Kim didn’t agree with you but you was still shocked, that’s why she didn’t say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.
And she did, as all your unit.
Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.
In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.
You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasn’t there. You couldn’t blame him since you didn’t tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.
Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasn’t ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.
In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you would’ve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didn’t talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didn’t want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.
That’s why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.
Until you didn’t hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.
You didn’t know when he would’ve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldn’t get through labor without him by your side.
That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; that’s why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.
“C-Coming.” You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. “Just give me one minute, i’m trying to get up from the couch.”
At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.
Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.
“J-Jay?” You whispered, shocked. You didn’t expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.
“You’re pregnant.” He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he just couldn’t believe it. “Am i the father?”
That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.
“What do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? You’re my fucking husband, of course you’re the father.”
You were so angry.
You didn’t even realize it till that moment.
You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didn’t know it, even if it wasn’t his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back!” He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.
“You took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didn’t even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!“
Jay knew that coming back home wouldn’t have been easy, he knew that you would’ve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didn’t expect to come home and find you pregnant.
“Wait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!”
You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.
Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.
Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.
“Yes.” You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. “I discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldn’t tell you after that.”
Jay couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldn’t have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.
“You should have told me, Y/n!” He wasn’t able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you weren’t prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he would’ve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that he’s going to become a father in what, few days?
“I’m sorry.” He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry i yelled, it’s just that…. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.”
You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.
“I know.” You sobbed, looking at him. “I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldn’t left and… you said you needed it, I couldn’t stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldn’t see you so sad here. And… when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia… i just couldn’t take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.”
Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.
“I’m sorry i left you alone.” He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. That’s why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.
“Well, i wasn’t alone, was i?” You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. “He, or she, was with me all the time.”
Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.
“Say hi to your daddy.” You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.
Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.
“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked, concerned. “Is everything okay, babe?”
You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.
“Oh no.” You whispered.
Jay looked at you, confused. “What’s happening?”
You looked at him and moaned in pain.
“ i think I’m in labor.”
“Fuck.” He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. “I’m sorry, i swore in front of the baby!”
You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.
“Hospital.” You whispered and he nodded.
“Hospital.” He agreed. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”
“Jay.” You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.
“I’m sorry!” He said, referring to his previous words.
#chicago pd#oneshot#fluff#jay halstead#angst#chicago fire#chicago med#erin lindsay#hailey upton#hank voight#trudy platt#police#adam ruzek#kevin atwater#kim burgess#pregnancy#army#father#newborn#fanfic#x reader
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Just For A Moment - Part 6
I am feeling emotional, so what better way to channel it than angsty angst </3
I thought I'd do part 6 with a bit of insight on Hailey's emotions, and give a bit more context of that night.
TW: (slight) dub-con? (Depends how you would read the scenario), angst, mentions of cheating
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Masterlist
Jay had caught Hailey's eye from the first moment she had seen him. Her eyes followed his every move and traced over every freckle. So when she was able to build a tentative friendship with the man, she had reluctantly allowed hope to build in the pit of her heart praying something would happen.
But it wouldn't. Or at least, it couldn't.
Not when his heart was already held in the hands of another.
Hailey's heart beat for Jay, but his heart belonged to another, and his heart sang for the same girl Hailey found herself growing envious towards as the day passed.
Aurora looked nothing like her - dark hair, free-flowing curls, tanned skin, a bright smile, and glowing eyes. Aurora was everything she wasn't, everything she couldn't be, and that's why Hailey wasn't surprised to learn that Aurora had gotten to him before she ever had the chance.
Still, she told herself it was platonic - the friendship she shared with Jay. An innocent friendship she hid her longing behind, accepting every friendly pat or cheery grin with a perfectly placed mask of contentment.
She would take what he would give.
She had taken what he gave. She had taken, and taken, and taken. Until she could no longer do it.
Maybe it was because she had one too many drinks, or because the last case had hit her in a vulnerable place she had long forgotten about - or maybe she was just cruel and selfish, and had to have whatever it was she wanted.
Hailey had never been selfish, never had the chance to be. So what would be the harm if she was selfish just this once.
That was what she had told herself when he trudged towards Jay's apartment that night. Feigning panic and using the heartache she had felt for so many months - seeing Jay in the arms of another woman - as a mask to convince him. To convince him she needed him. She needs him.
She had cried in his arms, she asked him to hold her - begged. And he had. He was a good friend.
But she didn't want that, she wanted more.
When she risked a glance at him, his eyes glassy and unfocused despite his best attempts to do so, she took her chance. A light kiss, her lips barely brushing against his own as she held her breath.
She pulled back, surveying his expression and waiting.
Waiting.
Jay sat frozen, shoulders rigid as his brows furrowed in confusion. But he hadn't said to stop.
She kissed him again, harder. She poured every ounce of longing, every ache, every envious chill, every inch of passion and love her body held and fed it into him, hoping he would accept her.
He would mumble against her lips, whispers filled with confusion and desperation melded with pleads of a woman's name that was not her own.
"It's me, Jay. I'm here, your Hailey's here."
The words seemed to have sobered him up, looking up at her as though he was seeing someone completely new. Jay tried to blink through the confusion, but the peppered kisses and light brushes felt good against his burning skin, the coos of praises and promises echoed through his clouded mind.
He wants this. He does, right?
He wants this, she said he does.
So he gave in - gave in so easily that he still lives with the shame of doing so. He lives with the guilt of giving in without a second glance, of not trying to stop, of not trying to move away, of not trying.
Hailey could see it on his face every day afterwards - the way he would flinch at her every touch, the way he would lean away from her when he thought she wouldn't notice, how he replied to her texts slower until he stopped completely.
She had told him it was a mistake, that it would stay between them, and they would move on and be friends.
Jay had accepted, but he knew there was a part of him broken by the night he betrayed Aurora. But the fear of her finding out was far worse than having to stay friends with Hailey, hoping she never confessed to their guilty actions.
Hailey had spoken her words, knowing she didn't believe a single one - she hoped, with every day that passed, Jay would come to her and need her. Ask for her. Beg for her.
That day never came, and when Aurora came back to Chicago Hailey knew it never would.
Perhaps that was why she couldn't find it in herself to be angry as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.
Hailey had been to Jay's apartment every night after Aurora had returned, knocking and calling out to him. When she was inevitably ignored, she would ring and call him, pleading with him to see sense and come back to work, or to at least talk to her.
Three days had gone by, and the team was almost ready to execute the undercover operation with Aurora, when she would assume her new identity later tonight.
And it was on this night that Jay had returned.
***
Aurora was in the locker room with Kim, someone who used to be close friends with Hailey but had distanced herself and become quieter after the Aurora had left.
Hailey knew she had destroyed something precious in the group, had forced them to lose another team mate - another friend, another part of their family.
But why was she not enough?
She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of ascending footsteps, slow and heavy thuds that had become such a familiar sound she turned her head towards the stairs instinctively.
There he stood, a man broken by the consequences of his own actions, eyes tired and face blank as his eyes scanned over the room. His gaze was fleeting as it crossed her figure that was hunched over the desk - paperwork laid astray in a frantic manner.
She felt a stab of disappointment at the action.
Even when she was there, right in front of him, right under his nose. Jay didn't see her. He wouldn't. Because he didn't want to.
But why not? Why was she not enough for him?
Voight stepped out of his office before she could say a word, before she could pour out all the words running through her mind in tumultuous waves, disregarding any shame or fear.
"Jay," his voice, though gravelly, was dipped in a soothing tinge of relief, "it's good to have you back"
Still, they pasted on a smile, hiding the strain in their eyes as they imagined the possible scenarios that could unfold. They made their way towards Jay, exchanging supportive hugs and firm pats on the shoulder - they would be there for him, in whichever way he let them. In any way they could.
His words finally prompted Adam and Kevin to turn his way, shock tugging at their features as they regarded him with wide eyes - knowing the girl he was pining over was not even a door away from him.
"Welcome back, man. Wasn't the same without you."
Kevin's statement was true, but the words only brought a tense smile on Jay's face - the office wasn't the same without her.
And she only left because of him.
His mouth opened, ready to spew words of appeasement or acknowledgement. Hailey wasn't sure, but she watched with intense eyes as she, for once, sat back and didn't approach the man she was head over heels in love with.
There was a crack of a word - the starting of a, no doubt, very short sentence. And Hailey found herself sweltering in frustration and anxiety when it was cut off by the sound of heels lightly tapping against the floor.
Aurora.
Hailey sat up straighter, eyes flickering between Aurora's oblivious form as she approached a wound-up Jay. Kim was trailing behind her, a nervous smile on her face as she tried to keep up their tentative conversation.
But it didn't matter because when Aurora stepped out into the office, she had all but stopped mid-sentence herself. A look of bafflement spread across her face, and a similar expression began pulling across Jay's, except his was tainted my rivulets of regret and guilt.
Jay stepped back as though her presence was a physical hit against him, and Aurora's face shuttered as she drew in a sharp breath.
It was like they were trapped in their own bubble, oblivious to all those around them as they stared at each other for the first time in months.
Hailey could admit, Aurora looked good. Great even.
Always beautiful, ever graceful, and a heart full of passion that she carried everywhere she went.
Unlike Jay, Aurora didn't carry her sadness out in the open for all to see. It was hidden in a part so deep and dark, she hoped it would never escape.
But Jay, he couldn't think of anything worse than the night Aurora had left him crying and broken. So he wore his agony out for all to see, a show of his remorse and a sign of his undying devotion to do what he must to make things right.
Seconds pass, or perhaps it was minutes.
It was Jay who broke first, a revelation that had Hailey look down at her desk, feigning signatures as her eyes burned and her cheeks became heated with embarassment and fury.
Jay couldn't help it, seeing her standing there. She looked so real. So true. As though, finally, she was more than an alcohol-induced dream, a hallucination, an echo just out of grasp.
Her hair was let out, flowing down her back in soft curls as she wore a long black gown with a slit at each leg. The gown cinched at her waist, and the neck was low and deep. Around her neck sat a gold necklace, and a feeling of deja vu washed over Jay at the sight of it.
She looked beautiful, like she deserved to have her every step treasured. She deserved devotion and adoration, love and kindness, loyalty and undying passion.
Longing began to fester in the base of his throat, a feeling so familiar that he swallowed through it with perfect ease.
"Aurora."
Jay hadn't called her that in so long, always Rory. Just Rory.
But hearing her name on his lips, after so long. It broke the cage she had locked that frail and trampled part of her soul into, it tugged at her heart and ripped at her throat.
Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at the man in front of her.
He wore his sadness with open arms.
Jay had lost weight - though still muscular and fit, he was not the same man she had left all those months ago. His eyes were weighed down by purple bags, the whites of his eyes tainted by the red of no sleep, a permanent scruff etched across his face, and clothes that were too rumpled for her to believe he had even changed before he came in today.
Surprisingly, Jay was just as broken as she was. Only Jay couldn't hide it.
There was a part of her that was furious at that - Jay had hurt her, and yet here he was breaking into tears as though he deserved her sympathy.
On the other hand, there was a part of her, so loving and so knowing, that simmered with relief at the sight of his anguish.
Jay missed her, he needed her. He said she was enough, perhaps he really did mean it.
Or perhaps his words were fuelled by the heavy load of a guilty man.
The thought was enough to snap her out from the longing, which scratched at her soul - begging and pleading to give in. Instead, she blinked, a passive look painted across her face. A flawless mask finished with a rigid smile. She nodded at Jay, forcing her hands not to tremble at the crestfallen look on his face.
Jay took a step forward, as though he was trying to prove to her he existed. As though he took her silence as a sign she hadn't seen him, and he wanted her to.
Needed her to.
But Aurora stepped back with a flinch, eyes flickering with pooling tears as she forced back her pain and tried to remain formal. She reached into her training, pulling at every strand and every inch of stoicism she could find within her body to present an unfazed facade as she turned towards Voight.
"I'm ready."
"Ready? Ready for what?"
Jay's voice was laced with incredulity, his head spinning at the fact that Aurora was here. She was here right in front of him.
But just like those few weeks so many months ago, she had barely acknowledged him.
Jay wanted to feel seen, but the only person who had ever made him feel so was now ignoring him.
Hailey was like a friend to him. He found camraderie in her presence, recognition in her touch. They faced similar struggles, similar lives. It was like looking into a reflection of some sort, seeing himself just as determined and strong on the other side.
But what life could a person live with their own reflection.
Such a life would be lonely and draining, boring and idle.
Aurora was the woman who had captured his heart, stolen his breath, and tied herself with his soul. She was a breath of fresh air, a source of comfort and warmth. She was a listening ear and loving companion. She balanced him out, smoothed out his edges, and evened out his temper.
He found mutual respect and care in his friendship to Hailey, but he found that and so much more in Aurora. In Aurora, he found the woman who gave him purpose - a brightly lit candle, a roaring flame, and a gentle guide out of the darkness that clouded his mind, the horrors that painted his past.
And here she was, standing in front of him. A dream just out of reach.
Was she back in Chicago permanently? Had she rejoined Intelligence? Was she here because of him? Or was it because of the guy at the bar?
The thoughts raced across his mind so fast Jay's eyes began to flicker over every object within his vicinity as he tried to sort through them.
Aurora is back.
She's back.
Seeing Jay's eyes shine with reverence, they were glossy in the light with unshed tears. Even in his state of confusion, he couldn't hide his adoration and couldn't hide his devotion.
Hailey felt her throat burn with nausea - how could she have been so blind.
#jay halstead x you#jay halstead x oc#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead angst#jay halstead#chicago med#chicago one#chicago#chicago fire#chicago pd#hailey upton#jay halstead x hailey upton#hank voight#kim burgess#kevin atwater
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Hello! Could you write Ava Bekker x Fem reader is could literally be anything with fluff smut and angst.:D
In the Aftermaths
Requested: Yes, by anon
Description: Ava's death ate you up and spat you back out
ships: Ava Bekker x Fem. Reader
Warnings: suicide, mental illness, distress, (If you're struggling with your mental health, please talk to someone in order to get the proper help you need).
Word count: 800
----
The call that came from Mrs Goodwin as soon as you heard about Ava was definitely the start of the end of it all. You'd done so much for her, to help her get better. You had known exactly why she had murdered herself, although it didn't make it any easier for you. When the funeral came around, not even Connor Rhodes was there, or hardly anyone from med, Adam, Kim and Kevin were there to accompany you. You knew that it was mostly because they felt bad for you but you couldn't bring yourself to care, not now, not anymore.
Weeks after the funeral, you found yourself still not back at work. The team dropped by every so often, tried to get you to come back to work or go out for drinks but you wouldn't hear of it. Instead you stayed in bed, crying. You had found Ava's diary it had the most awful of things in it, but it also talked about how much she wanted to be with Connor. Y/n knew that Ava had an unhealthy obsession with the man, probably loving him more than she did her, which was true by the way. She had also found that in her diary. It was that moment that she broke, she couldn't keep anything of Ava's anymore.
----
"911, what's the emergency?"
"Hi, I uhh think that there's been a break in in my neighbours apartment?"
"Alright, and what's the address."
"Apartment 33C on -----" (A/N: Make up your own street name. I live in NI and have no clue of US street names)
"Do you know if the homeowners home?"
"I would assume so, she's hardly left after her partner died about a month ago."
"Alright, we have units dispatched to the address"
----
"Units in the 21st and citywide, we have reports of a possible robbery at apartment 33c on -----" It was Kim who picked up the radio to reply, immediately recognising the home address. "5021 Eddie and 5021 Ida responding, be advised plain clothes officers responding."
Kim gave Adam an apprehensive look as the started the car to Y/n's apartment. "Should we loop in the others?" Adam kept staring at the road, unresponsive for a minute before finally saying no. Kim nodded and stared out the road, it wasn't long to get to Y/n's apartment and as soon as they did they could hear the commotion from outside, glass and ceramic shattering. Adam nodded to Kim as they went inside and up the flights of stairs, ushering civilians back into their homes.
Once they reached her apartment door, they knocked... no answer though it did go silent. "Y/n, It's Adam and Kim. We were called to come check up on you. Let us in please." Adam shouted in at her, another crash came from inside and that was the last straw, Kim kicked the door down and cautiously walked into the room, both of them had their guns drew. What was once a clean and homely apartment had been well and truly trashed "Y/n? are you here?" Kim asked.
"Here" a shaky voice called from behind the sofa. Kim looked back at Adam and put her weapon away before rushing to her friends side, spitting on shattered and cracked glass on her way over. "Hey N/n, what happened sweetheart?" Kim asked as she grabbed Y/n's hands, they were covered in blood, but the rest of her looked fine.
"I...I She... She never loved me Kim, she didn't love me!" Y/n practically shouted and Kim immediately pulled her in for a tight hug, tears streaming down the broken girl's face, "She never loved me and I thought she did. I'm so fucking stupid." "Y/n shhhh please, It's okay, she'd not here anymore. You can get over her, we'll be here to help you, right Adam?" "uhh yeah of course, we'll always be here for you hon."
Adam was observing the room, It was clear that Y/n must've had some sort of mental break. But who could blame her, she had lost the love of her life only to find out that the woman she loved with all of her heart never really loved her in the first place. "I don't think I can do this anymore," Y/n cried. Adam was the first to react, "No don't say that Y/n, ever. Come on, let's get you out of here."
#sande5098#reader insert#female reader#one chicago#ava bekker x reader#chicago pd fic#adam ruzek#kim burgess#chicago pd fanfiction#one shot#angst#chicago med#chicago med fanfiction
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Chicago PD (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Characters: Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton, Kim Burgess, Hank Voight, Dante Torres, Trudy Platt, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater
Additional Tags: Angst, Reunions, Arguing, Love/Hate, Love, Second Chances, Hurt, Surprises, Makeup, Fix-It, 21st District Police Station (Chicago PD), Protectiveness
Summary:
After just over a decade, Voight's time for reckoning comes and Intelligence is left in a messy limbo. With no Sergeant to take over, the unit are on the verge of being disbanded. However, when head commander surprises the unit one morning with a new Sergeant, they're all left in pure astonishment and Hailey is left feeling angry and dizzy.
"Jay?!"- Torres
#jay halstead#hailey upton#upstead#chicagopd#platt#kevin atwater#adam ruzek#kim burgess#dante torres#reunion#intelligence unit#angst#anger#cowardness#forgivness#family#fluff#makeup
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Getting the vibes Voight is on his way out
#the way he’s been letting Jay lead#train the new kid etc etc#but also#it’s probs time we had someone die in PD#I mean#gruesome and all#but about time I need more angst in my life#Hank Voight#should I say it#*manifesting Sergeant Jay Halstead*#there I said it#Jay Halstead#Kim Burgess#Kevin Atwater#Adam Ruzek#Hailey Upton#or are we tagging Hailey Halstead now??#dudes I’m so out of the loop lmao#we can go Hailey Upton-Halstead right?
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I Promised You Forever | Jay Halstead
⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Request: From anon
Fic Type: Imagine
Warnings: A little angst. A little fluff. Mentions of a shooting and surgeries.
Word Count: 945
JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP
“Get to Med… Jay’s been shot.”
As she waits in the waiting room at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center, the sound of her sergeant’s words echoes in her ears. Her heart is racing, her knee is bouncing, her hands are trembling, and dried up tear streaks run down her face. She feels like she’s been sitting in the room for an eternity, waiting for any news about her husband’s condition. He was already in surgery by the time she got at the hospital, which was a little more than two hours ago.
“Y/N!” she hears her partner, Kim Burgess, call out as she approaches her. When the brunette reaches her, she embraces her tightly.
After Jay and Y/N revealed their relationship to Voight, the two women became partners. They’ve been like sisters since they went through the academy together, and they got even closer after Y/N and Hailey Upton were transferred to Intelligence after Erin Lindsey left.
“Has there been any news?”
“I haven’t heard anything; Will just went to see if he can get an update,” she says before breaking down again. “I can’t lose him, Kim,” she cries into the shoulder of her best friend. “I can’t do it without him. We just got married. I can’t be without him.”
“Jay’s strong; he’ll get through this,” Kim reassures her as she rubs her back and squeezes her even tighter; it crushes her heart to see her best friend and chosen sister like this.
“Did you get the person who shot him?” she says, pulling away from Kim and angrily wiping away the fresh set of tears that are falling. The anger in eyes and voice wasn’t intended for her partner, or Adam who had been with Jay at the time of the shooting, or the rest of their team but at the guy who fired the gun at her husband and shot him. She begged Hank to give her five minutes with the person when they apprehended him, but Hank ordered her to stay at the hospital because that’s where she needed to be the most and swore he wouldn’t go easy with the guy.
Kim replies, moving to sit in the chair next to the one she was in, “He’s in custody. Voight’s making his life a living hell, I’m sure of it.”
She sits back down next to her and asks, “How’s Ruz?”
“He’s blaming himself,” Kim replies. “He’ll be here when he’s cleaned himself up, and the others will be here after they’ve finished with the interrogation.”
She nods, letting Kim know she heard her.
Minutes pass as they sit in quiet, Kim holding her hand and reminding her that she is not alone. Will eventually returns and informs her that there haven’t been any updates just yet before he leaves once more to grab them all some coffee.
Just as Will comes back with Adam following behind him, the surgeon walks into the waiting room.
As he approaches, Y/N and Kim get to their feet. As the doctor begins to talk, Will moves to stand next to his sister-in-law. “Surgery went smoothly. We removed the bullet, stopped the bleeding, and repaired the damage the bullet caused. Jay will make a full recovery, but he will need to take it easy for some time.”
Y/N exhales with relief, “I’ll make sure he does. Can we see him?”
“Two at a time,” the doctor says with a nod.
“Adam and I will go update everyone,” Kim says to her and Will before exiting the waiting room with Adam.
The doctor leads Will and Y/N to the room where Jay has been moved. Jay opens his eyes and looks sleepily at his wife and brother as soon as they enter the room.
“Oh, baby,” Y/N breathes as she walks over to his bed and takes his hand in hers, looking at him with tenderness. “Please don’t put me through that again.”
“I can’t make any promises,” he says drowsily with a small smile. He raises her hand and kisses the back of it.
“How are you feeling?” Will asks as he stands beside Y/N.
Jay jokes with a slight smirk on his lips, “Like I was shot.
Y/N scowls at him, not in the mood for jokes right now, and says, "Don’t joke.”
“You love me, and you know it,” he gives her a small smile letting her know he’s teasing her.
“I need to get back to work, but I’ll stop by after my shift,” Will tells his brother, stopping Y/N from that is retaliating. “I’ll make sure to bring you some decent food.”
“Thank you, Will,” she says as he exits the room. Looking back at her husband, she sits on the edge of the hospital bed, clutching his hand on her lap. “I was so scared I would lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures her. “We still have a lot to do together.”
She leans down and gives him a soft kiss while whispering, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replies as he kisses her again. “Now, come lie down with me.”
“You’ve just gotten out of surgery. I don’t want to cause you more pain.”
“They’ve got me on the good stuff, honey, and after what I just went through, all I want to do is hold my wife and remind her that us Halstead’s aren’t easy to take down,” he says and pulls her close to him, moving them so she can lay down beside him.
With his arm across her shoulders and her head on his, he presses a kiss to her forehead and whispers, “I promised you forever. I’m keeping that promise.”
TAGGED: @mrspeacem1nusone - @halsteadbrasil - @allisonargent144 - @cs-please -
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Who I write for + Request Rules
my masterlist
request rules
Requests are currently OPEN!
I only write fem!reader fics.
Please be nice and respectful when sending a request or ask!
Please don’t send me requests that were sent to other writers!!!
I will write angst, fluff, hurt/comfort & au’s (I do not write smut)
I do not write sister!reader or daughter!reader.
It may take me some time before answering asks, dms and writing requests (so please be patient)
who I write for
Chicago PD
- Erin Lindsay
- Jay Halstead
- Antonio Dawson
- Hailey Upton
- Kim Burgess
- Adam Ruzek
Chicago Med
- Connor Rhodes
- Will Halstead
- Natalie Manning
Chicago Fire
- Kelly Severide
- Stella Kidd
- Gabby Dawson
- Leslie Shay
- Matt Casey
Criminal Minds
- Jennifer Jareau
- Emily Prentiss
- Derek Morgan
- Aaron Hotchner
- Penelope Garcia
SWAT
- Chris Alonso
- Jim Street
- Victor Tan
- Jessica Cortez
- Deacon Kay
- Hondo Harrelson
- Dominique Luca
#erin lindsay x reader#jay halstead x reader#antonio dawson x reader#hailey upton x reader#kim burgess x reader#adam ruzek x reader#connor rhodes x reader#will halstead x reader#natalie manning x reader#kelly severide x reader#Stella Kidd x reader#Gabby Dawson x reader#Leslie shay x reader#matt casey x reader#jennifer jareau x reader#emily prentiss x reader#derek morgan x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#penelope garcia x reader#chris alonso x reader#jim street x reader#victor tan x reader#jessica cortez x reader#deacon kay x reader#hondo harrelson x reader#dominique luca x reader
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Every step of the way
Fandom: Chicago PD
Characters: Jay Halstead x EddieDiaz!SisterReader/ Eddie Diaz/ Evan Buckley/ Kim Burgess
Warning: Slight swearing / angst/ fulff
Word count: 1552
Jay Halstead Materlist
A/N: Hi guys. I hope everyone likes it. Here is a request from @taglongdiaz7482 I hope everyone likes it. Also, I know Eddie served in the army not the rangers, but for story line purposes we'll pretend.
Don't be afraid to leave your comment!
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You’ve been dating Jay for almost 8 months now, you met him through a mutual friend Kim Burgess. You were a firefighter beside your brother Eddie in the firehouse 118 in Chicago, in the Engine truck 63. You were the type of person to always be there for everyone and always give a helping hand to those in need. You were goofy, funny and true gentle soul -that was what made Jay fall for you-.
Today was a different day -even though no one knew or was prepared for it-. You were in your firehouse joking around at the common room with your brother and his best friend,
“So, when am I meeting this guy your dating? It’s been 8 months!” Buck -Eddie’s best friend asked, making you groan-. This was a habitual conversation, he thought of you as a sister, he was slightly mad and jealous that he hadn’t met Jay yet.
“God, can you stop…” “Buck, c’mon leave her alone” Eddie defended you,
“What, are you not going to go all overprotective former ranger big brother?” “Actually, you know what…” this made you look at Eddie -waiting for his big brother mood to be activated-. While Buck smirked at you thinking he had won the argument, just before Eddie continued,
“…no. Because she is a grown ass woman, Buck. She can make decisions for herself without me intervening. The intervening/overprotective big brother days are long passed” Eddie said in as a matter-of-fact tone, while Buck’s mouth was agape -surprised expression-.
Before he could respond the alarm rang, Truck 118, Engine 63, Ambulance 18 structure fire. 26th Main Street. Climbing into the engine truck you send a quick message to your boyfriend. That’s something the both of you did before going on calls, a quick, -I love you, always-. Not knowing what was ahead of you.
“Firehouse 118. This is dispatch. Over.” the operator said,
“This is firefighter Y/N Diaz, Engine 63, come in” “Call has been handled. Cancel structure fire 26th Main Street”
“Copy that dispatch we’re about to…” you were cut off by an explosion, after that darkness. On the other truck your brother watched wide eyed the turned over engine truck as a teenager approached.
In the district, Jay had responded to your message. He send you a couple more since you both always got a couple of texts trough before arriving to your scenes. He couldn’t help but get a really bad gut feeling. Just then he was pulled out of his thoughts by Trudy running upstairs.
“Hank channel 5!” she screamed from the other side of the bullpen getting the attention of everyone. Hank obeyed putting on the channel, silence, as everyone watched the news reporting from the scene,
“It’s a horrible incident. This engine truck behind me exploded a couple of feet’s in the air before turning over. At this very moment the suspect, a teenager is being apprehended by FBI authorities. As for the first responders that were on the truck, 4 have been accounted and declared death on scene” the reporter said, just as she finished the camera focused on the truck at the same time Jay read Engine 63. He felt his blood run cold as the camera zoomed into a person trapped under it, -it was you-.
“No…no, no, no” he said panic voice. “Oh my god…” Kim said while putting her hand over her mouth, the rest had shocked expressions.
“C’mon let’s hit the road!” Hank barked, not that Jay needed it, he was already halfway downstairs, Kim on his side not letting him drive.
Pulling up to the scene Jay got a glimpse of Eddie. At the same time Jay rushed over, you were facing up on the pavement leg underneath the truck, they weren’t moving you -they couldn’t-,
“J-jay?” you asked your brother before wincing in pain, “Just focus on me Y/N/N. Focus on me” Eddie said while starting to work alongside the others. His focus was drawn away from you as Jay bend down taking your hand in his. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows barely recognizing the man in front of him.
You looked from your brother to him, giving him a loopy smile -pain meds already in your system-, Jay looked at Eddie worriedly,
“It’s the pain meds. Her leg is crushed under…” Jay nodded slightly before turning his gaze back to you,
“H-hi…” you whispered, making him smile sadly at you, looking over your face for any signs of pain,
“Hey beautiful…” he said while pulling your hair out of your face, and kissing your hand -still on his tight grip-
“You need to keep her awake, alright, ask her stuff. Keep her conscious” your bother said lowly at your boyfriend, who immediately nodded, without looking away from you,
“Where were you born baby?” “Where?” you asked almost confused.
“Yeah…where” he nodded tight smile on his lips -god please let her remember- he thought. “Texas” you said,
“Good, good” he sighed relieved. “Who is he?” Jay asked next, pointing to Eddie who finished putting an IV on you. Slightly you looked at him, while extending your other hand, which he immediately took.
“My big brother” this made Eddie smile down at you, “That I am. Chief we got to take this thing off her” saying the last part to his Captain. Getting every tool available, when they tried to raise the truck, they were stopped by your agonizing screams. This made Jay close his eyes tightly tear rolling down his face,
“Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay, we’re going home I promise” Jay said kissing your hand, while you cried. Just then shadows approaching made everyone turn around to be met by a large group of firefighters -firehouse 51 included- with tools ready to get one of their own out of harms ways.
“Called in some reinforcement…” Kim said kneeling down at your head, smiling reassuringly at you. Jay nodded,
“You know I love you right?” “Always…” you whispered, you were tired, exhausted, soon enough you were met with darkness.
At med bad news spread like fire, you had lost all mobility in your right leg, too many nerves had been damaged on the accident. You couldn’t walk with it. You were pissed and sad at the world.
Curled on your side, back facing the door, crying. Just then the door opened you didn’t turn around but that didn’t stop whoever it was to come and sit facing your back. They knew you needed space and you hated to be vulnerable in front of others.
“I met your boyfriend…” it was Eddie, you huffed -what a great conversation starter- you thought. “Eddie I’m not in the mood” you whispered back closing your eyes.
“Alright what do you want to talk about?” you knew he was trying to pull your thoughts out of the pain and the disappointment.
“Nothing…” unknown to you Jay was standing outside your door, looking at both siblings with a sad expression. He knew how much you loved your job, and he was angry you had lost too much without deserving it.
Eddie saw Jay at the door, so he nodded, to let him know it was alright to come in, so he did, staying at a distance. After a moment of silence you spoke,
“He’ll probably leave now anyway…” voice breaking, Eddie sighed looking at Jay and standing up to walk towards the door, patting Jay’s back slightly before exiting.
“You’re wrong you know” that voice, you shook your head tears rolling down your cheeks. At this action Jay walked towards the opposite side of the bed pulling a chair to face you, you avoiding his gaze like the plague.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever. You hear me” he said sternly yet softly, bending his head slightly to make you look at him. You didn’t say anything, so he took your hand.
“It takes so much more than this to make me run away…” he said while pointing at your leg, making you shake your head.
“Yes! It does! I’m not running away. You’re my woman. They’ll have to drag my death body way from yours. Because I’m not leaving without a fight. That includes you! Look at me- Y/N look at me…” you obeyed, he was shaking his head lips pulled tightly in a line,
“I’ll fight you if I have to. But you’re not pushing me away…” he finished giving the palm of your hand a kiss, before you started sobbing, body shaking. This made Jay grimace, tears in his eyes at the sound.
“I can’t…” “Yes…you can baby. I’ll be here every step of the way. Plus, I don’t think your brother is going anywhere either, since he’s looking right at us from the door” this made you both chuckle. Jay brushing your stray tears, leaning to kiss you softly. Then putting his forehead in yours and caressing your nose with his.
“You met my brother” “Yep…actually, now that I think about it, we served together” he said giving Eddie a nod over your shoulder, which he returned with a slight smile.
“Really?” he hummed in response, looking back at you with a smirk.
“So that’s way he didn’t go overprotective former ranger brother on you…” you teased him while he shook his head with a smile.
#jay halstead x y/n#chicago pd imagines#jay halstead#jay halstead fluff#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x you#fan fiction#one chicago fic#jay halstead angst#eddie diaz x sister
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Jay halstead x female reader
The girl Jay has been pinning over who he works with leaving Kim’s and getting shot while not even on duty an Kim calls a ambulance and void because she was bleeding quickly an Jay gets there before anyone seeing Kim pressing near her heart telling her to stay awake an the reader just grabbed Kim’s hand seeing her panicking trying to tell her everything will be okay
An she ends up being okay but they get really close to loosing her from how much blood she lost till she got to the hospital
the thought of losing you (jay halstead x reader)
content warning: angst(happy ending), guns, canon typical violence, and alcohol
a/n: i really hope you like this !! this was really fun to write and i hope it fits your vision!
friday nights were always reserved for drunk karaoke, booze, and workplace gossip with kim. she was your best friend; you told her almost everything(except for a few embarrassing incidents with jay). the two of you meshed together effortlessly; she matched your vibe perfectly. it was like she was your long lost sister; she was your shopping buddy, drinking buddy, everything buddy.
“we still on for tonight?” kim asked, perching on your desk, holding a mug of coffee. “i got the bacardi..”
“hell yeah, burgess! what makes you think i wouldn’t?”
“great! i’ll also order takeout.”
“you’re reading my mind, and i’m so here for it.”
she laughed before walking to her desk, sitting down and starting to fill out some paperwork. jay came over to your desk, and he also had coffee, but he had a second mug.
“what’s up, halstead? long night?”
“uh, no, actually,” he said, putting one of the mugs on your desk. “one was for you.”
“aw, you’re so sweet!” you exclaimed, taking a drink of the coffee. “it’s perfect. thank you so much.”
“no problem, anytime,” he said before walking off.
you were too busy being focused on jay to notice kim watching the two of you. once jay was out of sight, she came over to you and said,
“he likes you.”
“he does not! he’s just being nice. you bring me coffee all the time.”
“true, but halstead never brings anybody coffee. except you. and he even put milk and sugar in, the way you like it. none of us do that.”
“like i said, kim, he’s just being nice.”
she rolled her eyes at your defense and went back to her desk. kim knew; she saw the way jay looked at you, the way he’d go above and beyond to make sure you were okay. jay had feelings for you, and it was obvious to everyone except you. he was protective of you, not just because you and him worked closely together but also because he never wanted to see you hurt. you were priceless to him.
that night, you drove to kim’s house, excited for the upcoming festivities. music blasted in the car, pumping you up for the fun-filled night ahead. you had bought a case of beer, coronas to be exact, and you were walking up to kim’s door. the only light came from the streetlamps on the sidewalk and the light above kim’s door. standing outside her house, you turned your attention to your phone and sent kim a text.
“hey, i’m outside, let me in?”
as you pressed send, you heard the ear-piercing screech of tires and the signature scent of burnt rubber. turning around, you were met with the sound you dreaded most.
BANG.
BANG.
two gunshots rang out from a car before it drove away. the bullets went through your shoulder and stomach. you slumped against kim’s door, your dark blood smearing all over the mahogany wood. your body collapsed on the stoop, your hand covering the wound in your abdomen. blood pooled over your hand, filling the crevices with the warm red liquid. kim ran down in a frenzy, gun in hand. she threw open the door and screamed your name out.
“no! no!”
she pulled off her hoodie and started applying pressure to your wound. she then called an ambulance and requested police, tears streaming down her face.
“no, no, why? why you…stay with me, y/n. stay with me, please.”
there was so much blood, spilling onto the door, the concrete, and your clothes. your blue shirt was drenched with red, and so was kim’s hoodie. your cheast heaved with effort, your heart pumping blood rapidly to try and keep you alive. kim called voight as your eyes flicked up to her.
“k-kim….”
“sh, sh. don’t speak. sh…i got you.”
when voight got the call from kim, his face paled. not only because you were one of his, but you were jay’s partner. there would be hell to pay when jay got ahold of the perpetrator. he lept into action, grabbing his leather jacket and gun before quickly heading out.
“voight, what’s going on?”
“y/n’s been shot. she’s at kim’s; lost a lot of blood,” voight said, trying to keep his composure. “we gotta go, now.”
jay grabbed his jacket and hurried down with voight. he was consumed with rage. someone shot the woman he was in love with, and he was determined to make them pay. but that would be at a later date. right now, his only concern was you. were you going to be okay?
the bright lights of the ambulance were the only thing you remembered clearly. blue, red, then bright white. the pain was searing, consuming your whole body with fire and heat. you assumed the white was you being inside the ambulance. the last thing that you remembered was an oxygen mask being placed over your face as a paramedic soothingly said,
“you’re gonna be okay, don’t worry.”
when jay got to the scene, he found kim sobbing on the stairs. you had been whisked away in the ambulance, but kim was too distraught to follow. jay sat down next to kim and he asked,
“what happened?”
“i heard shots, and i-i-i came down, she was there, and the blood, and, and, she was down, i couldn’t-“ kim sobbed, wiping her tears away.
“it’s okay, kim, it’s okay. she’ll pull through. she’s strong,” jay said, more to reassure himself. “she’ll be okay.”
“she’s going to med, they took her like just before you got here, i gave the state-“
“we’re going to med,” jay stated. “get in the truck.”
you were in surgery for hours; you had lost a lot of blood and the damage done was extensive. the doctors worked tirelessly to repair your abdomen and shoulder. the shoulder wound wasn’t bad, and that would be a fairly easy recovery. the stomach wound, however, posed more issues. the recovery would be difficult, tedious, and long. it would be a very, very long time before you would be off of desk duty.
the Intelligence unit kept vigil until you were allowed visitors, each person rotating. but one person stayed, constantly: jay. jay stayed in the hospital waiting room every day, waiting. he stayed there for three days until will came out and said,
“you can see her now.”
jay practically lept out of his seat, alogn with the others. but they let jay go in first, knowing how he felt about you. he walked with will to your room, but was stopped before he could go in.
“jay, she lost a lot of blood. she’s weak, and she may not respond. she’ll make a full recovery, but it’s going to be difficult and long. she’s gonna need a lot of support and patience. i’ll go back out and tell the others, it’ll be short, one person only visits until her discharge.”
“that’s fine. i just need to see her.”
“you can go in.”
jay quietly crept into your room, pulling up a chair to sit next to your bed. he took your hand just to feel your warmth. you were alive, safe, protected. his thumb gently ran over your knuckles as he watched over you.
“i’m sorry, y/n. you-you weren’t supposed to go through this. i’m your partner, supposed to protect you. and-and seeing you like this? it just made me realize something.”
you slowly opened your eyes, blinking away at the bright light of the sterile hospital room.
“what…” you muttered.
jay stood up and he leaned over, making sure his ears were working correctly.
“it made me realize that i care a lot about you. i, when you’re better, i want to take you out.”
you blinked up into the lights, disoriented. it was so bright. so bright and white. looking over, you saw jay, hovering over you and giving you a small smile.
“hey, hey,” he softly said. “you’re up.”
“jay..”
“sh, sh…”
you closed your mouth, opting to just smile up at him.
“i heard,” you said. “everything.”
his face paled and you let out the smallest, strained chuckle.
“once you’re better, y/n. once you’re better.”
he placed a kiss to your forehead, and you flushed slightly. the heart rate monitor started beeping more rapidly and jay said,
“woah, woah, okay…i’ll take that as a yes. i’ll send the other guys in, okay?”
you nodded, settling back into the pillows as jay left, only to come back a moment later with voight. you smiled as voight and jay came in, even if it was mostly because of your feelings for jay.
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I blame @gregorygerwitz for this because now I can’t get it out of my head. Damn you Alex.
Mouse’s best man speech at the much delayed Halstead- Upton wedding. Warnings for unrequited angst, but there’s some Platt Siblings too.
—
As a rule, Mouse hated big groups. If he didn’t have his back against a wall and the exit in sight his PTSD began to act up. So being in a busy bar, sitting in a monkey suit, watching his best friend finally get his wedding party and a first dance with his wife was hell.
But for the first time in years Jay Halstead was happy, so Greg was sitting there in silence.
“Penny for them?” He started as Kim slid opposite him, her lilac dress matching his tie. “If you want to leave you know he won’t mind.”
“I’m fine.” His friendship with Burgess had somehow survived his tours after leaving Chicago, Kim giving him texts and writing letters every few months. He’d received the one saying he was going to be an uncle the day he’d gotten the text saying she’d lost the baby. But she was his closest friend apart from Jay now.
The dance to Bruises by Train drew to a close, the people surrounding the dance floor clapping for the not so newlyweds. Platt had the microphone, standing in front of what was used as the top table holding it out.
“And now that they’ve danced, Greg has a few words to say.” She passed it to him, Mouse giving a glare as he took it.
“Thanks, Mom,” he drawled, a smile from those close by at his words. He stood, giving a wave to Makayla who grinned and waved back from her place between Adam and Kevin.
“I’ve known Jay for more than fifteen years. We were scared kids in boot camp, sticking together because we were both from Chicago. And when we got out he pulled me out of a spiral. Gave me the courage to go on. Gave me the faith in myself to tackle my demons and go back.
“I could tell you a million stories about Jay, about when we worked together either time. But the one I always come back to was shortly after he moved up to Intelligence. He needed tech help, and came to me. Got me food, gave me cash. Let me know I could call him if I needed anything.
“And I did. He helped me get healthy. Showed me where to get the help I needed to screw my head on. I couldn’t have done it without him. Jay proved, time and time again, that when he believes in you the only time he’ll break that trust is if you do something awful.” He paused and took a drink of the coke on the table, watching around the room as Hailey looked up at her husband with love, biting down the jealousy he felt.
“Hailey, you’ve married a man who will move heaven and earth to make you happy. Who loves fiercely, and cares deeply, even if he doesn’t know how to show it and his dislike of candy is a little off putting. I wish both of you the very, very best. To Hailey and Jay!” He held up his drink in a toast, the rest of Jay and Hailey’s friends joining him in a toast.
He didn’t last long at the rest of the wedding, dancing with Kim and teasing her about how Adam was looking at her before taking a spin with Makayla and twirling her around before delivering her to her parents. It was a final hug from Trudy and a promise to come for lunch some afternoon, and handshakes to the other members of Intelligence.
Jay and Hailey gave him hugs, Jay holding him tightly for a moment with slightly wet eyes.
“Meant every word,” Mouse whispered before turning to hug the bride.
“Thank you. For everything.” It was a look in her eyes that made him think she knew more than she would ever let on, but he’d hold that secret to the grave. Instead he walked outside Molly’s to get an Uber to his new apartment, staring at the sky. He would never admit it, ever, but his heart had cracked just a little giving the speech and seeing the black ring on his best friends fingers.
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A living Nightmare
Summary: y/n went to the police station after being assaulted by a stranger and detective Jay Halstead is the one that helps her
Warnings: angst, mention of sex assault, mention of rape, kidnap and violence in general
English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistake!
Next part
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When you entered the police department, you felt many eyes on you. You wore clothes that were cut and dirty and you looked hurt.
You looked up at one of the police officer, a woman who was behind the desk. You guessed was a sergeant and she was around fifty years old; she immediately went around the desk to help you.
“Oh my God, what happened dear?” She immediately asked you, helping you staying on your feet; you were so weak and you were about to cry sooner or later, even if you were trying to resist. She helped you and took you in one of the interrogatory rooms, telling you that she would have called a detective to help you.
After some minutes a tall guy entered the room and he immediately sat in front of you with a warm smile on his face, trying to reassure you in some way.
“I’m Detective Jay Halstead. They’ve told me that you need me. What’s your name? Can you tell me what happened to you?”
You could still feel those hands on you, you could feel the pain and every single beg you yelled, asking him to let you go, asking the guy who took you to have mercy.
You were shaking but you couldn’t control it.
“I’m y/n… a-and I…. I was kidnapped.” You whispered, deciding to start from the easiest part of the story.
“When?” He immediately asked you, writing something on a notebook. “Where and how? I need some details to find the guy who did this to you. Tell me everything you remember and we’ll find him, okay?”
You nodded, still shaking and starting to cry.
“It was Friday when he took me… i-i don’t…. I d-don’t know what day is it today…. I was kidnapped Friday evening after work… i-i stopped to a fuel station and… and when i was entering the car again i felt a hand on my mouth and something cold against my throat.” You whispered.
He listened carefully and he wrote everything on the paper, looking sometimes at you and smiling a little bit to encourage you to continue.
“He had a knife and… he told me to get into his car and… and to be quiet or… or he would have cut my throat in an half. “
“Did you see him in the face?” Detective Halstead asked you, looking at you. “Do you remember anything that can help us finding him?”
You shook your head, crying harder.
“N-no!” You sobbed, feeling guilty. “I just did what he told me to do… he… he said that i wanted this… that i should have expected this… and after that he blindfolded me”
Jay’s eyebrows frowned.
“What did he mean by that? Did something strange happen to you the days before Friday?”
You nod, crying. “Y-Yes.” You sob.
It was all your fault.
You should have known
You should’ve have done something
You should have gone to the police station sooner
“Tell me about that.” He said, looking at you. “And don’t worry, you can take your time.”
You nodded, staying silent for a while before answering him.
“I had the feeling of being followed for almost a week but i thought i was just paranoid. And than i found some flowers at my front door… I thought it was just some pranks of some kids… i didn’t think…. It’s all my fault” you cried.
“No, no no” he reassured you, taking one of your hands and squeezing it slightly. “It’s not your fault at all… but everything you will tell me will help us getting him in jail, okay? I know it’s hard but you have to be strong for that”
You perfectly knew that. You knew that you needed to tell everything but it was so fucking difficult. Everything that happened to you, everything that he did to you. And you didn’t fought back, you just let that happen.
“After the flowers i got a call from an unknown number… it was Friday’s morning and all i could have heard was someone breathing heavily on the speaker. I was so scared and i immediately hanged up. I wanted to came here but i was late for work so… so i decided that i could come here on Saturday when i would have been at home and i would have had more time to come here…. But that night he took me. He kidnapped me and I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t able to see him nor the road he made to reach his place. It was dirty and the scent of that place was horrible… i think it was an abandoned warehouse. “
Detective Halstead was writing everything you were saying and he kept asking you questions, giving you also the time to prepare yourself psychologically.
“What happened then?”
“He tied me at something, I don’t know with what but i was lying down on some old mattress. He… he ripped my clothes…” you pointed him your clothes that were ripped and dirty. “He… he r-raped me”
It took some time to admit it.
It was so fucking difficult to say.
It was so fucking painful to admit.
You were raped.
You were raped.
You were raped
But why you? Why he took you? Why he let you go? But did he let you go? What happened? Why you were still alive? Why weren’t you dead?
Maybe it would have been easier if you would’ve died in there.
“I’m sorry for everything that had happened to you and believe me, I wouldn’t ask you so many questions if i don’t really think that they can help us finding him… can you tell me in details what he did to you? How many time did he rape you?”
You were trying to figure out how many days you spent in there but being blindfolded didn’t help and he didn’t even bring you some food to help you understand which part of the day it was. You couldn’t even tell what day it was when you escaped, you didn’t know anything, nor even where you were. You just entered the first police station you found, you didn’t even know in what part of the city you were.
“He raped me multiple times… i don’t know how many but he often raped me during those days. He bit my breasts and… and he used force. I was so scared and it hurt so much, i just wanted that to be finished. Every single time i stay silent praying him to finish with me as soon as he could.”
Detective Halstead wrote everything on his notebook and than he looked up at you.
“Did he use a condom ?”
You cried harder, hiding your face beneath your hands.
“N-no… he didn’t, he… never did” you sobbed, crying.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re safe now” he said, getting up and walking towards you, slowly and calmly to be sure not to scare you.
You got goosebumps of fear but you didn’t stepped back. You were so tired: you just wanted to go home and sleep and after telling all of what happened to the detective you felt even more tired.
“Can you tell me everything you can remember about him? Maybe a description? I know you didn’t see him but you felt him, right?”
You immediately understood what he was talking about and you thought about every time you felt him, and you revived all again and again, trying to remember as many details as you could. “When he kidnapped me and i felt his hand on my mouth i also felt his chin against my head so he was definitely taller than me… i’m 170 cm so he would be around 190 cm i guess. He lowered at my height to be able to whisper in my hear and when he kissed me or bit me i felt that he had a beard… not a normal one, it was like a goatee… yes, I think he had a goatee.”
“You’re doing great, can you remember anything else?” Jay asked, writing everything down.
“I saw only his hand on my mouth… he was white. And i think it was thin but muscular, just not to much. He was strong though. T-That’s all i can remember.”
“It’s perfect, you did great.” He reassured you. “How did you escape?”
“I spent days trying to free myself from the rope that was keeping me tied up on the mattress and when he came today’s morning and when he said that i need to do a shower after i thought something was wrong. He didn’t even let me go to pee in the previous days. When I couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore i finally freed myself, i took the blindfold off and you just ran outside and ran… and ran. I didn’t looked back or near me, i just ran trying to add distance between me and him. I don’t know for how many time i ran, i just know that at some point i read “police” and i came immediately in here.”
Detective Halstead wrote everything again, then he looked up at you.
“You were so strong and brave, okay? And now you’re safe, i will be with you okay? But i need to accompany you to the hospital to do a rape test. It will help us knowing the DNA of the man that did all of this to you, okay?”
You immediately tried to got up to follow him at the hospital but the second you got on your feet you felt all the tiredness on you. You couldn’t even stand up.
All the adrenaline went down and you felt pain in every single muscle.
You collapsed on the floor and Detectjve Halstead immediately ran towards you, calling for help and for an ambulance.
“Hailey! Call for an ambulance right now!” He yelled towards the mirror, looking at you again and giving you a small slap on your cheeks to keep you awake. “It’s okay, it’s okay i’m here with you, y/n. Resist, an ambulance is in the way, okay? Just stay with me.”
“I-I’m so tired.” You said, whispering. You looked at the detective in front of you and you tried to remember his eyes; he came there to help you and you wanted to remember him at all costs because he was your savior, after all. You saw in him the chance to find some justice and in that moment he was also trying to keep you awake while the ambulance arrived.
“I know, i know you’re tired but you have to resist and keep your eyes open for me. Look at me okay? Resist.”
You tried.
You really tried to resist but it was too much.
You were too weak.
The last things you remembered before the dark fell upon you were Jay’s eyes, then everything went dark.
And you couldn’t feel anything anymore.
#jay halstead#chicago pd#chicago med#chicago fire#oneshot#angst#tv series#police#hank voight#trudy platt#will halstead#adam ruzek#kevin atwater#kim burgess#hailey upton
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masterlist
fandoms that i’ve written for so far: chicago pd, chicago fire, chicago med, marvel, harry potter.
(check tags to see who i’ve written for specifically)
i also have a wattpad: @/mehblahblahmah
others
reviews of one chicago and others
chicago fire
gabby dawson
motorcycle rides
girlfriend!gabby dawson. general fluffiness.
wasn’t enough
angst. angst. angst. gabby dawson x halstead!sister!reader
matt casey
y’know what’s funny?
pre-relationship!matt casey but ends with r and matt together. fluff, humor, light angst.
chicago pd
erin lindsay
like a b*tch in heat
smut with literally no plot. mean!dom!reader x sub!erin
hailey upton
mornings
domestic!hailey upton. tooth-rotting fluff and humor. that's it.
a thing for blondes
mutual pining. fluff and humor. first kiss and flirting.
jay halstead
distractions, distractions
needy!jay halstead. fluff and humor. feel good stuff.
payback
boyfriend!jay halstead. fluff and humor. slightly suggestive.
wasn’t enough
angst. angst. angst. gabby dawson x halstead!sister!reader
random decisions
soulmate!jay halstead x reader. fluff and cutesy things
kim burgess
it worked!
short one shot/drabble with wife!kim burgess. tooth-rotting fluff. general happiness.
vanessa rojas
fruit loops
short one shot/drabble with girlfriend!vanessa. hurt/comfort. minimal angst. cutesiness.
chicago med
will halstead
wasn’t enough
angst. angst. angst. gabby dawson x halstead!sister!reader
harry potter
draco malfoy
a fun reunion
porn with absolutely no plot. kinda!mean!top!draco x whiny!bottom!hermione x kinda!mean!top!r
hermione granger
a fun reunion
porn with absolutely no plot. kinda!mean!top!draco x whiny!bottom!hermione x kinda!mean!top!r
marvel
bucky barnes
bucky x natasha x reader drabble
smut drabble with no plot. top!bucky x bottom!natasha x top!reader
to keep the monster alive
hurt/comfort one shots w/ platonic!bucky x reader. brother-sister relationship.
carol danvers
carol x natasha x reader drabble
smut drabble with no plot. top!carol x top!reader x bottom!natasha.
daisy johnson
disobeyed orders
girlfriend!daisy johnson. smut w/ plot. kinky filth. grab the holy water.
layla el-faouly
more than you know
angsty. unrequited feelings. tears.
marc spector
language barriers
desi!tamil!r x marc spector. fluff, humor, tiniest bit of angst. slightly suggestive, little bit spicy at the end.
natasha romanoff
carol x natasha x reader drabble
smut drabble with no plot. top!carol x top!reader x bottom!natasha.
bucky x natasha x reader drabble
smut drabble with no plot. top!bucky x bottom!natasha x top!reader bottom!natasha x top!reader
#jay halstead one shots#bucky barnes one shots#carol danvers one shots#natasha romanoff one shots#gabby dawson one shots#erin lindsay one shots#hailey upton one shots#daisy johnson one shots#marc spector one shots#kim burgess one shots#matt casey one shots#hermione granger one shots#draco malfoy one shots#vanessa rojas one shots
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Loves, Lost
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ctNnS25
by WanderingWonderings
Kelly is glad Stella is going out for a girls' night with Sylvie while he is away at the arson program, even though it means his phone will be quiet for the evening. But when the quiet is broken by a frantic Violet calling to say Kidd and Brett are missing, Severide does the only thing he can: he calls Matt Casey and catches the first flight home to meet him in Chicago. They're going to get their girls back, no matter what it takes.
Meanwhile, Sylvie and Stella find themselves hostages in a battle that is so much bigger than themselves.
Read AN for trigger warnings.
Words: 3639, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: F/M
Characters: Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey, Violet Mikami, Wallace Boden, Blake Gallo, Darren Ritter, Hailey Upton, Kim Burgess, Adam Ruzek
Relationships: Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett & Stella Kidd, Matthew Casey & Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett & Violet Mikami, Stella Kidd & Violet Mikami, Sylvie Brett & Kim Burgess & Stella Kidd & Hailey Upton
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Missing Persons, Kidnapping, Hostage Situations, Friendship, Protective Kelly Severide, Protective Matthew Casey, Alternate Universe - Canon, Threats of Violence, Canon-Typical Violence
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ctNnS25
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Chapters: 34/?
Fandom: Chicago PD (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton, Kim Burgess & Adam Ruzek, Stella Kidd & Kelly Severide
Characters: Jay and Will Halstead's Mother, Maeve, Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton, Natalie Manning, Will Halstead, Trudy Platt, Hank Voight, Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess, Kevin Atwater, April Sexton, Ethan Choi, Violet Mikami, Stella Kidd, Maggie Lockwood, Owen Manning, Randy "Mouch" McHolland, Kelly Severide, Joe Cruz (Chicago Fire), Christopher Herrmann
Additional Tags: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton Fluff, Domestic Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton, Marriage, Love, Best Friends, Multiple Partners, Detectives, Happy, Sad, Angst, Heartbreak, 21st District Police Station (Chicago PD), Family, Children, Celebrations, Reunions, Adoption, Violet - Freeform, Violet Upton, past trauma, Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton get their shit together, ronald booth - Freeform, A happy ending upstead deserve, Wisconsin cabin, all the feels
Summary:
When a what-should-be typical case sends Hailey's haunted past flying into her life once again, how will she deal with it? Hailey wants to be able to make amends for her past regrets and make a life that is full of happiness, joy and love, but will she be able to do it? With Halstead and her work family by her side, let's follow Hailey as she navigates life with an unexpected twist.
#upstead#jayhalst#chicagopd#haileyupton#intelligenceunit#trudyplatt#burzek#adamruzek#kevin atwater#kim burgess#dante torres#family#happyending#trauma#love#fluff#angst
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Erin Lindsay x Fem!reader where reader gets hit with a bullet while undercover and Erin is there for reader 24/7 including the hospital and Voight realised what they meant for each other
Officer Down
Eʀɪɴ Lɪɴᴅsᴀʏ x Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
“The second you see something off, say the safe word.” Voight told you as Erin helped you tighten the bullet proof vest onto your torso. Her hands remained on yours after she was done, the tremor in them was hard to ignore. “We’ll be right around the corner.”
You nodded once everyone told you how it was supposed to play out. Thank god it was winter because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to wear thick jackets to cover the vest.
“Stop worrying.” You whispered as Erin finally let go of your body. She didn’t want to make it obvious that she was with you, Voight was the number one reason why. But the the amounts of people shot in the last week, she simply couldn’t control her emotions. She didn’t want you to specifically go, even volunteered to go instead, but it was too late and you were already getting changed.
She sighed and avoided your eyes, biting her lip in worry as the two of you headed for the car she was going to drop you off in. It was pretty silent other than the occasional sigh from Erin. Saying something would make her more nervous, so you decided to resort to squeezing her thigh in reassurance.
She parked a few streets away, waiting for Voight to give you the signal to leave the car and walk to the designated location you were to meet some guy. He was apparently selling drugs for someone who sold weapons. Weapons responsible for 5 other peoples deaths in the last week. With luck, this would go smoothly and without hiccups.
“(Y/N). Go, slowly.” Voight’s voice called from the radios, followed by silence.
“Copy.” You responded and gave the radio to Erin, who stopped you before you opened the door.
“Wait.” She said, grabbing your chin and pulling you closer to meet you lips with hers. She pecked them once, but as reassurance you pecked them a few times before smiling and heading out.
The winter air hit your skin, enveloping the parts of your skin that weren’t covered with clothing. Your neck erupted in goosebumps as you activated your comms, still walking towards the given location.
“Radio check.” Ruzek said as the static slowly hummed into coherent voices.
“Good.” You simply replied, placing your hands in your pockets as you finally reached the corner of the street you were meant to meet the guy at.
You waited for a mere 5 minutes before a male, covered head to toe in thick clothing, started walking towards you.
“You have incoming. Matches the description.”
He was too close for you to respond without him hearing, so you started walking towards him to meet him halfway.
“We spoke on the phone?” He whispered, looking around suspiciously. You nodded but he hesitated a little.
“Come on, man. I’ve been out for weeks.” You pulled the money out of your pocket subtly, showing him the corner of the fake cash for his reassurance.
“I don’t know. Cops have been looking into my boy Tank. I didn’t check with him before I met you. What if you’re a snitch?”
“You think I would be coming to you if I was cop? I bet there’s bigger issues on the streets than drugs. I need my dose before I go insane. Ask Tank after you give me my package.”
He sniffed and nodded, pulling out what you thought was the sachet of drugs he promised. You were about to pull the money out but instead, you were met with the barrel of a gun being pressure up against your stomach.
“Move in.” Voight said and the sirens much of scared him, because he flinched and squeezed the trigger a little too much.
It was so fast not even he noticed what he did before he started running. He looked back at you as you laid on the floor, blood not yet visible underneath you.
Regardless if you wore the bulletproof vest, at the proximity he was shooting from, the bullet would of only slowed down and stayed in your body. You could feel the blood basically escaping you through the thick clothing you wore. Trying to breathe properly, you tilted your head back into to have the oxygen refuse to go own into your lungs.
Burgess and Ruzek chased down the offender with their car while Voight and Erin pulled up next to you, Jay following right behind.
“Dispatch, roll an ambo to my location. We have an officer shot. I repeat, officer down.”
Erin collapsed next to you right after rushing out her car, unzipping your coat to check how far the bullet had gone through. It was still in your body because there was no way it went cleanly through, and that meant Med needed to get you checked immediately.
You gasped for air, feeling the cold air hit your skin without the protection of the thick jacket you used to have zipped up. Jay undid the bulletproof vest and Erin instantly put pressure on the wound, trying to get your stomach to stop bleeding. Once you were in nothing but a shirt, Jay and Hank ran to find the ambulance supposedly not far away.
You, very weakly, grabbed Erin’s wrist still applying pressure to the wound. Making eye contact with her, she smiled through the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Stay with me, (Y/N).” She pleaded, feeling as you gently squeezed her wrist twice before letting go, too weak to hold on any longer. She laughed sadly, knowing that you did that as reassurance for her. You did it on the way there, in the car. You did it when you were fixing up her wounds after a bad mission. You did it anytime she was worried, so you did it now too. “You’ll be okay. It’ll be fine, Med is on its way.”
Eyes started rolling to the back of your head as you started losing consciousness, the blood loss wasn’t dramatic but it was enough to make you pass out. Thankfully, the ambulance had just pulled up and the paramedics took you away, Erin pleading to go with you.
You passed out completely in the ambulance, and you were sent straight into surgery for hours after.
Half of the intelligence team was waiting in the waiting room, silence never had been so loud even with the constant chatter of everyone else there.
Erin sat in one of the chairs, head in her hands as both her knees bounced in anxiousness. Jay had tried to calm her down, him being the only one who knew about you relationship, but without luck she just ended up telling him to go away. Voight knew better than to try, knowing Erin best out of everyone.
“She’ll get out of it.” Voight said as he sat next to the panicked woman. She barely looked up, afraid someone would see the trails of tears down her cheeks if she did. She nodded minimally, only letting him know that she heard him before he walked away.
When Jay’s brother walked through the double doors did everyone turn to look at him. Erin basically jumped up and walked closer, not caring who saw her face anymore.
“Will.” Jay whispered, voice full of desperation as if to say say it already.
“She’s okay. Recovering. The bullet grazed her liver but the bleeding was tackled and she should be fine with a couple weeks recovery. It could do been much worse.”
The weight off everyone shoulders lifted, and the room felt lighter once again.
“Can we go see her?” Erin asked immediately after he stopped talking. Jay wasn’t supposed to, but somehow it slipped that the two of you were dating to his brother, so Will smiled and let her through. Voight followed just as a standard thing he did. He always made sure his team was okay.
You were sleeping when the two entered the room, Erin freezing a little when she saw the state you were in. Although still beautiful, it was difficult for her to watch the machines around you determine how alive you were. She wanted to protect you, and she hated that she didn’t listen to her gut when it told her something was wrong.
She refrained her tears from flowing again as Voight looked at you over her shoulder. With a gentle nod, he told her to stay with you until you were better. And if you thought she’d be going anywhere until you woke up, you were completely wrong.
She stayed a total of sixteen hours until you woke up with a groan. Her hand was already interlocked with yours as you woke up, she she merely squeezed it before you opened your eyes.
“Hey.” She whispered, brushing strands of hair out of your face as you started gaining consciousness. “Don’t move too much. You were shot.”
“It feels like it.” You groaned, throat dry from hours of not using it. Erin smiled at the fact you still found a way to backchat while being shot, barely aware of your surroundings.
“How long was I out?”
“Over a day.” The A&E seemed very empty, only the occasional beeping of machines in other rooms could be heard. The clock on the wall read 20 past 4 in the morning, the room fairly dark as Erin looked at your pale face. “You know you’re screwed for the next month?”
You furrowed your brows, only now feeling the gauze around your torso under the covers. No energy to reply, you looked back down at her with a questioning expression on your face as you placed your head down into the pillow.
“You’re not leaving my apartment. And you’re letting me take care of you.” She smiled when you did, telling her you weren’t complying to ‘have such a fine woman taking care of you’.
The moment of silence was comfortable, eyes scanning each other’s features before you saw how red her eyes were. Even in the dark, you could tell she’d been crying, and rightly so.
“I thought I lost you.” She sniffed, smiling sadly again. You tried not to think about her face when she was putting pressure on your wound, it just made you feel bad for letting be shot.
“I’m sorry.”
She just squeezed your hand, smiling at the fact you were simply talking to her, instead of laying there unconscious.
She was so grateful to have you back, the love of her life.
THE END
#erin lindsay#erin lindsay x reader#erin lindsay imagine#Erin Lindsay fluff#Erin Lindsay angst#Erin Lindsay smut#chicago pd x reader#Chicago pd imagine#chicago pd#kim burgess x reader#hailey upton#hailey upton x reader#Kim Burgess
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Broken Man
Hi ! So here is my first ever Chicago PD One shot.
So the last episode let me in a weird place. I had to write something so I get I should mention it contains some spoilers for 09x15.
I hope you'll like it. I apologise in advance for any mistake, English is not my native language.
It's filled with angst for Adam with an hopeful ending.
Please let me know what you think of it, I could write more for this fandom.
Bye guys.
Is Adam with you ?
No. Still not home ?
No and I can’t reach him.
Kevin shakes his head at the last text. His friends… They are complicated, a bit of buttheads but they also are the best thing for each other. They hurt as much as they love each other and it has to end. Now.
Going back to the district to track his best friend’s phone because he’s ghosting everyone is not his idea of a relaxing evening and god knows they all deserve a break. He can already feel the headache coming.
Is Adam with you ?
No. Still not home ?
No and I can’t reach him.
Kevin shakes his head at the last text. His friends… They are complicated, a bit of buttheads but they also are the best thing for each other. They hurt as much as they love each other and it has to end. Now.
Going back to the district to track his best friend’s phone because he’s ghosting everyone is not his idea of a relaxing evening and god knows they all deserve a break. He can already feel the headache coming.
But coming up the stairs and finding Adam at his desk is a surprise. Maybe his relaxing evening is not dead yet.
“What are you doing here ?“ Adam looks surprised to see Kev back at work this late. He knows things with Celeste are complicated but still.
Found him, will call you later.
“Looking for you Bro. Kim is worried you’re not home yet. You’re ghosting us. And with what happened between the both of you, I have to say she’s not the only one worried.”
“No need. I’m fine. Just doing my job.” Adam looks back at his screen, closing himself to the world.
Great… It will be a nice conversation then.
“You’re not Adam, you barely talk if it’s not case related. You’re staying here at 10 when your family is waiting for you.”
“I don’t have a family anymore Kev.”
“Of course you do, she didn’t kicked you out, did she ? Did she tell you that it’s done ? That you’re not moving with them at the new place ? Or are you so hurt and blaming yourself that you think she did ? Because then why is she blowing up my phone since I got here ?” Kev is showing up his phone where all the text messages and missed calls from Kim appear since he told her he found Adam.
Adam looks up at Kev, dark bags under his eyes because yeah he’s exhausted, he misses his girls but no Kim has been clear that he doesn’t listen to her and so he’s taking a step back because after all it’s what she wanted a few weeks ago. What she told him. And so he listens to her.
“She told me Mak is her daughter, not ours so if I’m nothing to Mak, then why should I stay ? I don’t want to get my heart broken anymore, I can’t Kev. Already did that more than once with Kim and it hurts to get up again. So I’m listening to her, because trust me I will never forget those words. Every time I see her it’s all I can think about. And I know I almost got Makayla killed, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. What if we didn’t find her in time ? What if they truly were going to let her go at the drop and by killing Lennie I screwed that up. Mak deserves to have someone who can protect her, not put her in jeopardy. Every single time someone I love is in danger I make it worse, did it with Kim, with Mak, with my dad, with Tommy, even with Al, he was my mentor and look what happened to him, he got killed. I got our baby killed because I wasn’t fast enough. Ortiz is in jail. Hailey was abducted while we were together, whatever that was. And Kev, you should get away from me before I get you killed too. And I tried to go back to my place, just to find all those boxes ready to be picked up. So I’m here, I’m doing my job and you can’t ask me more than that right now.“
"Adam… "
"No. Please Kev. I’m doing my best here. Leave it alone. Mak is safe, back where she belongs and it’s all that matter. The rest is history."
"Okay, as you wish, but you need to sleep, so go back there, don’t talk to Kim if you want to, but your kid needs you. When was the last time you saw her ? Because that little girl, she’s hurting too, and she needs her dad right now."
"Kev… One last time, let it go…" Adam breathes deeply and then "You know what ? I’m outta here. See you tomorrow."
"Wait ! Come to my place, I swear I won’t tell Kim you’re there and I won’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.”
“No thanks Kev. But you wanna do something for me ? Please go to Kim apartment and stay there for the night. Mak needs someone who will be able to protect her and her mom.”
“Yeah sure.”
And with that Adam left the district.
—————
“What do you mean he’s not coming Kev ? We need him, where is he ?”
“I don’t know Kim, he just left. He’s in a bad place. Blaming himself for everything and even more. He needs time. And space.”
“I’m worried about him, I know I hurt him but he’s Mak’s dad and my partner…”
“Is he really ? Because Kim you took back the fact she’s yours, to the both of you. He’s been with you 24/7 since you’ve been abducted, you relayed on him for months. He was with you at the courthouse and even before, did he ever let you go alone see your lawyer ? And instead of being united, you both lashed out at each other. But Kim I have to say, you hurt him, deeply and I don’t know if he’ll get over it. He told me he doesn’t have a family anymore. He doesn’t have any hope left. He loves you and that amazing little girl so much he doesn’t trust himself to be around you.”
Kim tears up at those words, unable to speak. Kev takes her in his arms when she finally breaks into full cries.
“It’s going to be okay Kim, you just need to talk to him, like really talk to him, lay all your cards on the table. I don’t know how it’ll end, but he needs and deserves the truth about what you want from him in the long run.”
“I kissed him. Before we got up to the apartment. He looked surprised but happy. I just told him we were keeping our kid and he took me in his arms and I just kissed him. Because I thought we could have our happy ending. I love him but I can’t deal with him ever leaving us again.”
“Kim… I love you but you’re so wrong. He never left you, you did. You’re the one who broke the engagement. And yes he accepted to push back the wedding but did you ask him why ? Because I listened to him pining for you for weeks if not months. He was terrified of not being enough, he would bring you the moon if you asked him. And then when you lost the baby, he was there, even if you didn’t see it. He never got to grieve properly you know.”
“I completely messed up, didn’t I ?”
“You both messed up, hence why you need to talk.”
Footsteps coming toward them ended that conversation.
“Mommy ? Uncle Kev ? Is Adam here ?” Mak looks hopeful but she sees Kim shake her head.
“No Queen M he’s not, he’s still at work. But he asked me to stay with you tonight.”
“I miss him.”
“I know. Come with us.”
Mak sandwiches herself between her mom and her uncle.
“I love when he cuddles me. He makes me feel safe every time. He hasn’t read me a bedtime story since… Did I do something wrong ? Is he mad at me ? Because I tried to hide when I heard them fighting with Gabby but I wasn’t fast enough.”
“No baby girl, you didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not mad at you. Adam is blaming himself for what happened to you. Because he loves you so much, it was terrifying for him. And for your mom. And for all of us. But I know he misses you.”
“Mom ? Can we go see him ? I need to tell him something.”
“Mak it’s late and while you don’t have school tomorrow, you need to sleep.”
“But mom, please ?”
—————
He found himself at the beach. The one where they take Mak on the week-end, where she finds all those sea-glasses, pilling into Kim pockets and his car. He used to have a very clean car, but now it’s full of kid books, snacks, clothes, sand and basically everything a kid could need on a travel. Kim used to laugh at him because he was so strict about all the stuff she kept in his car when they were together and now his car looks like a kid’s bedroom.
He hears a car in the distance and know it’s her. Kevin, I’m going to kill you.
Before he can compose himself and fully turn around he feels his little girl throwing herself at his legs. He’s barely bend down when Mak put her arms around his neck so he can fully embrace her. He missed her, how did she became his whole world so fast ? When they lost their baby he thought he would never get to feel what it’s like to love this much.
She’s so innocent and he’s so dark, how can she be near him and still be a happy little girl ?
“Are you done with work ? I tried to sleep but I missed you and then I heard mom and Uncle Kev talking. If you’re done you can go home !”
“Mak… I can’t go home right now.”
“Uncle Kev said something but I didn’t understand. I want you to go home with us, I’ve got new nails polish and we have to be careful because we can’t get some on the carpet again. And a new dancing show ! You could wear my tiara and I could show you what I learnt at dance !”
“I would love to, really, but I can’t. I know we didn’t spend much time together lately but you got your mom to show her all of that. I don’t know if I’ll stay with you much longer you know ?”
“But why ? Aren’t we moving to the big apartment anymore ? I know how I want to paint my new room and you’ll have to help me.”
Adam can’t help but chuckles at those words because damn that little girl will never take no as an answer and he’s not even sure he wants her to. Maybe all hope is not lost with her. Everything may be dead with Kim, but Mak… He would do anything for her, even do piggy back ride with his screwed shoulder which it has yet to be looked at.
“Come on let’s go back to your mom and get you to bed.”
“Only if you stay with me.” Mak gives him a big kiss on his cheek.
And at those words, Adam knows he’ll still move in with them if Kim let him.
They travel back to Kim’s car where she and Kev are standing, Mak already half-asleep on his back but still smiling at her mom because mission succeed.
He straps her in her booster seat, closes the door and turns around “Hmm. She wants me to put her to bed. If you are willing to let me to.” He never looks at her.
“Of course Adam, you know you don’t have to ask me. Come with us, let’s go home.”
“I’ll follow you back to your place.” There is no way he can be in the same car with her, he has to prepare himself to the confrontation he knows is coming.
————
Once in bed, Mak makes it her mission to keep Adam as long as she can in her bedroom, she fights sleep even tho she’s exhausted. She knows Adam will be gone when she wakes up. It’s been like that since they found her. He still sleeps there, he leaves all kind of notes on her bedside table for her to see when she’s awake. Pancakes will be ready to be re-heated in the kitchen but he’ll always be out of the door the minute she’s awake if not before. She misses him, she loves when he’s doing shenanigans with her just to bother Kim. He always makes her laugh when she scraps her knees or elbows or whatever limb she hurt so she won’t cry. She thinks of him as her dad, she never had one so she doesn’t completely know what it means in the everyday life but her friends are always talking about doing this and this with their dads and Adam does that too ! So maybe he could be her dad.
“Okay kiddo, nice try but you have to sleep now, it’s way too late for you to still be up !”
“I don’t want to sleep. I’m happy you’re here, I miss you. I’m sad when I can’t see you before school.”
“I don’t want you to be sad, I’m sorry I made you feel this way. I’m sorry for everything Mak.”
“It’s okay now you’re here. But can you stay with me til I fall asleep ?
“Sure. You know you can always ask us to stay with you right ?”
“Yeah, I know…”
“What is it Mak ?”
“I want to ask you something but I don’t know if it’s okay.”
“Mak, you can ask whatever you want, whenever you want. Always. I’ll always answer the best I can, I’ll never lie to you. Pinky swear. Remember when your mom got hurt, I told you what happened, right ?”
“Okay.” Mak sit up again in bed to look at Adam. “Are you mad at me ?”
“What ?! No Mak, I’m not. Why do you think that ?”
“Because I called Kim mom and I didn’t call you dad ?”
“Mak…”
“Because I want to but I don’t know you’re okay. We talked at school and my friends were telling me about what they did with their parents, I told them about the beach but they told you’re not my dad so it didn’t count.”
“Mak, I love you like my kid. No. Scratch that, you are my kid, calling me dad or Adam or whatever you want will never change that. But I would love for you to call me dad if you really want to. Nothing will make me happier. But never feel obligated to do it. It’s your decision.”
“Really ? So you’ll really be my dad ?”
“Yes Mak of course.”
Mak jumps at Adam neck who grunt from the impact. He really needs to get his shoulder be looked at because the pain only get worse with each passing day. He deserves to feel the pain but still, if it prevents him to take his little girl, his daughter in his arms, he’ll do whatever is necessary for it to heal completely.
“I love you Mak. So so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t find you faster. I was so scared for you and angry because you deserve the best, and I didn’t protect you like I should have.”
“No Adam stop. You did find her. We found her.”
Adam and Mak turn to see Kim standing against the door frame.
“Come hug with us mom !”
“Okay but you need to be sleep. Lay down.”
Mak does as asked and Kim and Adam lay beside her, forming a cocoon around their girl.
“ ‘night Mom, ‘night Dad.”
“Goodnight Mak.”
They stay like that until Mak is finally asleep and when they’re sure she won’t wake up, they get up slowly, Adam staying back a little to admire his sweet baby girl.
Getting out he finds Kev waiting for him in the hallway.
“Not too bad for someone with no family anymore.”
“I’m sorry Kev. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I really need to start thinking before talking.”
“It’s good bro, go talk to Kim, it’s the best thing to do right now. I’m going home so be nice to each other please.”
————
“We need to talk Adam.”
“I know. I’m just not sure how to explain myself.”
“Then let me start. I’m sorry Adam, for everything I said that day. She’s not my daughter, she’s ours. And I know I took that back, but I was desperate and you were right about the drop since the beginning. But I couldn’t take the risk. I don’t know what I would do if I lose her, or you. If it was anyone else I would have been the first to say to not pay, but Mak, she stole our hearts, didn’t she ?”
“That is sure... I can’t remember a second not loving her. And I think it’s what made me see red. She was kidnapped, because I didn’t protect her. Like I didn’t protect you. It was the same story again. And I couldn’t do it again. Wait to know if she was alive, if she was going to make it. Because I did it once, and I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest. Because then I was at home, with your daughter, hoping, praying she wasn’t going to lose her mom and I wasn’t going to lose my best friend. I couldn’t do it again. The pain was unbearable then, and it’s still now. I already failed you once, I wasn’t going to fail you twice. So I did what I always do, I go dark, and make some stupid decisions. I fought with Kev then, like physically fought with him and then with you…”
“But in the end she’s home, she’s safe. And I am too. You saved us. Both of us. You saved the Burgess girls.”
“My Burgess girls.”
“We’ll make it through it Adam, we have to, I don’t see a future where you’re not there beside me, watching our daughter grow up.”
“But not too fast please. I’m not ready to see her dating.”
“Please god no. Don’t break my heart.”
“She’s not allowed to date until she’s thirty of forty.”
“I don’t think we have to worry about that yet tho, she’s too enamored with her dad.”
“Yeah about that, if you disagree about it it’s okay I can talk to her.”
“Adam, look at me. She’s your daughter as much she’s mine. It feels so good to hear her call me mom, I would never that away from you because it felt good right ?”
“More than good actually. It was like the weight of the world got off my shoulders. Like I could breathe again. Because she’s not angry at me for what happened.”
“She’s a smart girl, she knows it wasn’t your fault. So no more leaving, you’re staying, and tomorrow we are going to talk the three of us. We’re going to go to therapy, individually and as a family. Because we all need to. Even you. You can’t keep feeling guilty about the past. He was the one responsible then, he’s dead and I don’t wanna know how, and Nia is responsible now. It never was your fault.”
Adam has to sit down, he needs to process all of this. Mak calling him Dad, Kim being sorry, realizing he may not be the curse he thinks he is. He doesn’t believe in fairytales, it won’t go away in the morning but Kim is right, they need to talk about all of this with someone.
“Where does it leave us ?”
Kim comes around to seat beside him.
“I don’t know Adam, but I know I don’t regret kissing you. I know I hurt you and I know we have a long way before thinking about dating, we have to heal but again there’s no future without you in it.”
Kim shows him her open hand, waiting for him to grab it, because the ball is in his court.
And when he grabs it, they both can finally breathe. It won’t be sunshine and rainbows from now on but they learnt communication is the key to their relationship.
“And also we are going to the doctor first thing tomorrow for your shoulder, we need you in shape, not in pain.”
Adams chuckles because yeah his Burgess girls can really make him do anything.
#ChicagoPD#One Chicago#Spoiler for last episode#Adam Ruzek#Kim Burgess#Kevin Atwater#Makayla Ward Burgess#Angst#Family#Hopeful ending#Burzek#Burgwater#Ruzwater#Burzekayla#burzek fic
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