Legend was given a Quest by some "King Arthur of England" to go and kill the Terrifying Monster guarding a location called the Cave of Caerbannog. Legend couldn't find the monster, but he did find a cuddly white rabbit. He's not quite sure why it's bloody, but it doesn't seem injured so it's fine. (I just like to headcanon that Legend would get along with practically any bunny, including the killer rabbit from Monty Python. Uncoloured version under the cut)
Cringetober 2023, Day 17: "It was a dark and stormy night. . ."
On AO3
Rating T - 592 words - Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Summary: The rabbits of the forest of Caerbannog tell the tale of the night when one of their own became the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
Story:
“It was a dark and stormy night.” they whispered, many voices becoming one voice. Their breath was a wind that battered its way through the trunks of the old Caerbannog forest.
“The dark was complete black. There were no stars. There was no light. Nothing existed in the woods. We ourselves stopped existing in that dark.
“The storm was unexpected. A shattering of meteorological forces that was everywhere and nowhere. We dragged ourselves through thick air. The atmosphere was laden with water and electricity. Our fur clung to our trembling bodies. Our long sensitive ears were deafened by the greatness of the thunder.
“We were rabbits before that dark and stormy night. Now we are something else. A rabbit can fight, but doesn’t. A rabbit runs. A rabbit hides in the burrow. We were born with sharp teeth and sharp claws. But they weren’t meant to taste blood. They were to dig and chew and build the burrow. We were architects of safety before we were remade as machines of war.
“We have tasted blood.
“It was a dark and stormy knight who stumbled through the forest then. He was huge (as all humans are huge). Slow (as all humans are slow). His clanking metal skin would be warning enough any other night. But the thunder had been so loud and the storm so sudden.
“Many of us were out on the forest floor foraging for food. Among them was a new mother from our burrow, a lovely lady fair of feature. The storm frightened her (as it did all of us). She tried to calm her heart and find her way home. She was blinded by the darkness (we all were). She was deafened by the thunder (we all were). She was unable to smell anything but the drowning rain as it poured into her.
“The knight came upon us. He was a lumbering useless fool. But he was hungry. He grabbed at any of us within his reach. His meaty arms flailed. His grotesquely bent fingers grabbed.
“We ran. We’re rabbits. We ran. We are the fastest creatures on the forest floor. Faster than wolves. Faster than human witches. Faster than human gods. But the storm. The knight kept pace with us in the storm.
“He followed us through the shrubbery. He followed us to the burrow. The lady fair was the last of us to make the dive. He saw her bright white fur, even in the darkness. We thought we escaped him into the safety of the burrow. Until, the knight began to dig.
“He dug up the burrow. He dug up the children. He laughed. His laughter was like the thunder. He grabbed the lady fair’s kit, crushing it in his terrible human hands.
“As her kit drew its final breath, something changed within the lady fair. She raised her nose to the heavens. Her ears alert and haunches raised to fight. She called to any god listening to give her the power to kill any knight who crossed her path.
“Her call was answered.
“A violent new strength took up residence in her body. The lady fair’s teeth and claws had a new purpose. She devoured the knight. Blood mixing with the downpour of the storm.
“She made a new burrow, a giant burrow. Where we are all eternally safe. A burrow big enough that knights could walk right in. And her God would lead the knights to her. Wolves to the slaughter. Entertainment to satiate her bloodlust.
“But there is never enough knight’s blood spilled to appease the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.”
They are a member of a gang who spent nearly their entire life in a laboratory being experimented on before escaping.
trivia:
they don’t remember certain things like their own name because of the experiments messed up their brain.
“killer rabbit” is a nickname given to them by their fellow gang members.
They act very apathetic around others but does seem to care about others deep down inside.
They have trouble expressing their emotions towards others.
They have a very sarcastic way of saying things but it’s just a defense mechanism that they use in order to sound tougher than they actually are.
They don’t want to attach themselves to people easily because they are afraid of losing the ones that they care about the most.
Their outfit was stolen because they don’t have any money.
They’re currently living in a small motel that’s practically abandoned and has been taken over by her gang and is currently being used as a hide out for them.
if you've found this post, you may be asking yourself, who is this rabbit? well, i'm about to tell you, this is the Rabbit of Caerbannog ! also known as the Killer Rabbit (from the movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail)
IT HAS KILLED SO MANY. PEOPLE. MILLIONS. VAST AMOUNTS!!
IT HAS KILLED EVERY OTHER LIVING THING NEARBY, THE REST OF THE LAND SURROUNDING IT IS BARREN AND DEAD.
EXCEPT FOR A WIZARD (his name is... tim (the enchanter), he warns people about the rabbit... it doesn't do much they all die anyways)
IT EATS PEOPLE
ITS CUTE
IT'S FLUFFY
IT'S GONNA EAT YOUR FACE
VOTE KILLER RABBIT
ITS INTRODUCTORY SCENE LITERALLY IS THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION. OF A KILLER CINNAMON ROLL,
CUTE, FLUFFY, UNASSUMING, AND THEN VIOLENTLY MURDEROUS, THE KILLER RABBIT!!
THE ONLY THING THAT COULD KILL THIS DAMNED THING IS GOD. / HOLY HAND GRENADE
IT NEARLY KILLED SIR ARTHUR (it should've (it was too busy killing five other people), really would have ended the British monarchy Really Fast)
HERE'S IT IN ACTION!!!!!!
IT KILLS, IT'S ACTUALLY CUTE. IT DECAPITATES PEOPLE WITH GREAT EASE!
(More kaimere! I won't be converting too much of kaimeran animals; many of them closely resemble their prehistoric or modern counterparts, and it would be kinda pointless to convert em. Outisde the Known World- the focal point of Kaimere and equivalent to the Inner Sea- life gets Weirder, and that's probably where I'll be focusing my attention. The komatu is one such out-of-towner, and one whose design I particularly love. Killer rabbit!)
CR3 TN Medium Animal
Komatu are wolf-sized multituberculates, animals distantly related to most modern mammals who possess powerful front teeth and large, shearing premolars. Komatu are specialists in the group, cursorial predators who have a powerful bite with their shearing, iron-infused teeth and venomous spurs. They hunt in packs, and their powerful bite and simple teamwork lets them take on animals much larger than themselves.
Despite their ferocious appearance and deadly hunting tactics, komatu are not obligate carnivores- rather, they can subsist on fruits and nuts when such resources are abundant, and scavenge on marrow when times are lean.
Komatu Companions
Starting Statistics: AC: +3 Natural Size: Small Speed: 30ft Attack: Bite (1d8), 2 Kick (1d4 plus poison, Secondary) Ability Scores: Str:15 Dex:20 Con:10 Int: Wis: Cha: Special Qualities: Poison (See below)
4th Level Advancement: Size: Medium Speed: 40ft Attack: Bite (2d6) Ability Scores: Str +4, Dex -2, Con +4 Special Qualities: Armor-Piercing Bite (See below), +2 racial bonus to Sunder
This animal has ears like a rabbit but long legs like a wolf. Its hind legs have long, sharp spurs.
Misc- CR3 TN Medium Animal HD4 Init:+8 Senses: Perception: +7
Stats- Str:19(+4) Dex:18(+4) Con:14(+2) Int:2(-4) Wis:14(+2) Cha:10(+0) BAB:+3 Space:5ft Reach:5ft
Defense- HP:22(4d8+8) AC:17 (+4 Dex, +3 Natural) Fort:+5 Ref:+7 Will:+3 CMD: 21
Offense- Bite +8(2d6+6) or 2 Kick +5(1d4+4 plus Poison) CMB:+7 (+2 racial bonus to Sunder) Speed:40ft Special Attacks: Crushing Bite
Feats- Weapon Focus (Bite), Improved Initiative
Skills- Acrobatics +9, Perception +7
Ecology- Environment- Plains and Forests (Temperate) Languages- None Organization- Pack (2-4) Treasure- None
Special Abilities-Armor-Piercing Bite (Ex)- A komatu’s iron-enforced bite is strong enough to pierce armor. It ignores object hardness when making a sunder attempt with its bite. Additionally, it does not provoke an attack of opportunity when attempting to sunder this way. Poison (Ex)- Kick-Injury Save: Fort DC12 Effect: 1d2 Str damage, victim is staggered in pain. Frequency: 1/round for 1d6 rounds Cure: 2 consecutive saves.